It’s funny what parents remember versus what kids remember because I’m sitting there and my mom is talking about how I “didn’t used to stim so much when I was little” and I’m thinking about how I used to rock back and forth when I was upset and my mom would hold me still so I learned that was Bad and We Don’t Do That and so I eventually just stopped doing it
> and a quick side note here, my mom is wonderful and supportive and has always known that something about me was different- she has countless times been turned away by doctors discounting me as “shy” and I know that she just saw her little girl distressed and wanted that to stop- but it’s still funny
since i don't want to think about tonight (i will start sobbing uncontrollably), i'll try to gather my thoughts around the new masks, and throw that into the void
btw, im not a big fan of change (hate it. hate it so much), and the new masks/outfits/costumes/whatever definitely threw me off guard for a second there when i saw them lol. tbh i was pretty taken aback, and i was already going off on a tangent in my mind saying that i was going to miss the old masks, that they looked way better, etc...
but like, it's not my place to say anything in regard. i mean, it's not like people can't express their feelings or preferences when it comes to sleep token and how they present themselves !!! everybody's going to have an opinion, thats cool and all, im just saying that for ME, personally, i think i shouldn't be focusing so much on the masks.
do i prefer the old ones? yeah.
was this a lot to take in, especially giving how it came as a surprise right before such an important and special event? you bet your ass.
but im also pretty sure their new looks are going to grow on me, and fuck it, even if it doesn't, its okay. i dont have to like it, the music is what i admire them for anyways.
now, if you excuse me, i have to forcefully and repeatedly bash my head against the wall bc i just saw a tweet saying that vessel was crying a lot tonight and i cant take this anymore