#that mf had a midlife crisis .

[genderqueer-karma]

imagine being 50 years old with a toddler… could NOT be me…

(of course this isn’t saying that people who have kids later in life are weird or evil or anything. i just weep at the thought of starting all that shit when your life is probably already stable and calm… yikes…)

[atlasifyllm]

mf had his midlife crisis at 19 but so did elliot baek so

[avengerscompound]

She Sets the City on Fire - Father Knows Best

She Sets the City on Fire: A Bruce Banner Fanfic

MASTERLIST PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Square:  @brucebannerbingo​ - U3 Free Space

Rating:  E

Warning:  Age Gap, asshole parents, anxiety, smut (MF, light ds, oral sex, throat fucking, rough sex, a small amount of spanking, vaginal sex, gags)

Word Count:  4380

Pairing:  Bruce Banner x OFC (Summer)

Summary:  Bruce is drawn to Summer.  She’s everything he wished he could be.  Carefree, exciting, and she knows exactly who she is.  There are so many reasons a relationship with her wouldn’t work.  So why can’t he stop thinking about her?

A/N: On the first chapter

6. Father Knows Best

Bruce and Summer walked up West 88th hand in hand.  They were driving out to Westchester so Bruce could meet Summer’s parents.  He was nervous.  Neither Summer nor Aiden talked about their parents much - at least not with Bruce - but after Tony had hinted it was someone famous, he had looked it up.

Summer’s father was media mogul Chester Martin.  The man who’s media empire included every single right-wing and anti-superhero outlet from New York’s Daily Bugle to the Globe-News.  It was his publications that helped the government cover up the Hulk and had Bruce listed as public enemy number one and pushed as some kind of global terrorist.  With that and what he had heard about him buying affection and ignoring Aidan’s existence for most of his life, Bruce was not foreseeing a warm reception.  Bruce was just thankful that he was actually younger than Chester.  He could only imagine how much worse it would be if they were from the same generation.  Even though the age-gap between Chester and Summer’s mother was over 30 years, Bruce didn’t think that hypocrisy would be enough of a reason to not use the age thing as a reason that Bruce wasn’t good enough for his daughter.

Summer had assured him that there wouldn’t be a problem.  That at worse he probably wouldn’t even notice that Bruce was there and that her mother liked everyone and she’d be welcoming to him.  Aidan had confirmed that Summer wasn’t lying about her mother, but that there was no way their father would like him.  He would pretend for Summer but in Chester’s eyes, no one was good enough for Summer, let alone some middle-aged, liberal, with an anger issue.  Aidan had left him one piece of advice, don’t let Chester get him on his own.

“Summer, are you sure what I’m wearing is fine?”  He asked for the eighth time that day.  He had not been able to decide if he should go formal or casual and ended up landing on a strange mix of both, with navy khakis, a dark purple button-up shirt that he left loose at the collar, a dark brown suit jacket, and because it was cooling off a long black coat.  Summer, on the other hand, looked like she stepped off the silver screen in a vintage skirt suit in pale pink wool with black trim.

“You look just like you.  And I love you.  So he’ll love you.”  Summer said, lifting his hand up into the air and spinning under it.  “Just relax, Brucie. I’ll protect you.”

They reached the garage where Summer kept her car.  A valet came out and she handed him a card.  It wasn’t long before he re-emerged driving a vintage MG Roadster in dark burgundy.

“Wow,” Bruce said, as Summer exchanged her keys for a tip.  He ran his hand over the hood of the car.  “Tony would love this.”

“I’m sure he could afford to buy one if he wanted.”  Summer joked.

“Do you think…” He paused and fidgeted with his hands.  Tony never let him drive one of his cars and he always wanted to.  Tony wasn’t Summer though.  Maybe she wouldn’t have that little hang-up about needing to be behind the wheel.  “Could I please drive?”

“Can you drive stick?”  She asked.

He nodded.  “I learned on the run.”

Summer threw him the keys and got into the passenger seat, digging in the glove compartment and pulling out a silk scarf that she wrapped around her hair while Bruce got into the driver's side and started the car.

“This is such a beautiful car,” Bruce said.  He wasn’t exactly what you’d call a ‘car person’.  Not the way Tony was.  He wasn’t into the engines or horsepower except for the basic way he was into that kind of science in general.  He could appreciate aesthetics though, and the rumble of an engine and the way he just felt like maybe the cool factor might rub off on him just a little.  Oh god… was he going through a midlife crisis after all?

“Thanks,” Summer said, hanging her arm over the door.  “My dad got it for my 21st.”

“He bought you a car that’s older than you.”  Bruce mused.

“It’s older than you too, Grandpa.  She’s a ‘63.”  Summer teased.

“You got a thing for the elderly?”  Bruce teased.

Summer laughed and leaned over, kissing his cheek.  “You know it.  I’m a grave robber.”

As they drove the 45 minutes to Westchester, Bruce kept stealing glances at Summer.  Something about the vintage suit, the scarf around her hair to protect it from the wind and the large round sunglasses she’d put on made her look like a 50s starlet.  She was in particularly high spirits today too, which was saying something for the ever carefree Summer.  She didn’t stop smiling the entire trip up.  Her hand was usually somewhere on Bruce, often sliding it’s way up his inner seam, sometimes on his hand, or playing with his hair.

Summer provided the directions and as they made their way into Westchester the houses just kept getting bigger and bigger and the space between each one became more vast until they became more like compounds than simply mansions. When they reached what was the biggest one yet he turned, entered the code at the gate and drove up the winding drive to the enormous mansion.

They got out of the car and Summer came around and took Bruce’s hand.  “He’s nice.  I protect you anyway, but he’ll love you.”

Bruce sighed.  He wasn’t so sure that they’d think much of each other, to be honest.  Chester Martin was a hateful bigot who had no concept of what it was like to struggle at all.  How Summer and Aidan had come out of that family even half the decent people they were was impressive, but Bruce was no stranger to good coming out of such bad.

As they made their way up the steps Chester and Abigail came out the front to meet them.  Summer let Bruce’s hand go and ran to them, hugging them both tightly.  Bruce continued his way up alone and when he finally reached them, Summer pulled back and introduced him.

Abigail greeted Bruce warmly, hugging him and kissing his cheek.  She was still quite young, in fact, the thought slipped into his head that Abigail was actually 2 years younger than Bruce was.  The thought freaked him out a little bit and he pushed it away and smothered it.  Abigale was slender and wore her long red hair in a bun.  She had the same clear blue eyes as Summer. In fact, Summer had taken after Abigail to the point it looked like she’d been cloned.  Which was good for her really, because as beautiful as her mother was, Chester Martin looked like a bloated, wrinkly toad.

He greeted Bruce with a firm handshake and a patronizing tone.  The followed him inside where Bruce met Summer’s sister Dakota.  Dakota looked a lot like Summer, though she had the dark hair and eyes of her father.  She barely even looked up from her phone when Summer walked in but when Summer said Bruce’s name her eyes snapped up.

“You’re Bruce Banner!”  She said, putting her phone away.

“That’s right.”  He said, feeling a little awkward.  Summer took a seat on a large leather couch and patted the spot beside her.

Dakota immediately moved from where she was sitting and sat down next to Bruce, pressing herself against him.  “I didn’t know you were dating an Avenger, Sum.  Why didn’t you tell us?”

“I told you his name was Bruce,” Summer said.

Dakota leaned towards her sister, her breast pressing against Bruce’s arm.  “You know what I mean.”

“I really don’t, Dakota,” Summer said.

Dakota sighed and her knuckles brushed up the side of Bruce’s thigh.

Chester took a seat in one of the wing-backed chairs opposite them while Abigail took a more comfortable looking sofa seat next to him.

“How exactly did the two of you meet?”  Chester asked.

Thus started the grilling.  Most questions seemed to try and pry out how long they’d been dating, what they did when they were together, and how serious they actually were.  The amount the Martins seemed to know about their daughter could fit in a thimble.  Chester’s questioning seemed to imply that Summer was an innocent young girl and Bruce was just there to corrupt her.

At some point, a staff member came in and poured everyone drinks before disappearing again.  After what felt like they’d been questioning forever, Chester looked at his watch.  “Girls, can you check and see what’s taking the kitchen so long with lunch?”

Summer jumped to her feet and practically skipped from the room after kissing Bruce on the forehead.  Dakota slouched after her.  When they were out of earshot, Chester turned to Bruce.

“I am not having my daughter being dragged into your Avengers lifestyle.  I know the kind of things Stark gets up to and I don’t want her life to be put in danger for associating with the likes of you,” Chester seethed.  “When you leave here today, you will break up with her.  You’ll let her down easy, but I don’t want to see you here again.”

Bruce’s heart started hammering in his chest, and he could feel the pulse in his ear and a shove from the Hulk in the back of his head.  “E- excuse me?”

“You heard me.  How dare you put my daughter in danger of being hurt by that thing inside you?”  Chester snapped.  “What is she doing with you anyway?  She’s a straight-A student, she is above being corrupted by some lecherous middle-aged man.  I won’t allow it.”

The hypocrisy was so thick that Bruce could almost taste it.  Anger started bubbling up inside him and he couldn’t seem to get it under control.  “Don’t you think Summer should get a say in this?”

“No.  I don’t.”  Chester said.  “You will be breaking up with her.  If you don’t there will be consequences.  And if you think for a second I can’t make your life a living hell, you’re sadly mistaken.”

Bruce’s mind raced.  Memories of how the press had treated him when he was on the run mixed with headlines about him hurting Summer.  He couldn’t hear anything above the thud of his pulse in his ears.  There was a shove from Hulk and he was sucked into the dark.

Hulk roared and swung his fist, shattering the coffee table in front of him.  He wasn’t sure where he was exactly or what was wrong.  There was no gunfire or explosions to point him at his target.  All he knew was that Banner had been angry and scared and it was time for him to step in.  

The couple in front of him was backing up against the wall, but the woman who looked so much like pretty Summer hand her hands up in placation.  “Please don’t hurt us.”

Hulk huffed.  Usually, when they were begging not to be hurt it was a pretty good sign they needed to be.  The door crashed open behind him and he spun around and growled.  In front of him was pretty Summer and he felt something in him relax a little.  Behind her stood a younger girl with dark hair who looked both surprised and scared.  He took two steps towards Summer, hoping she might have an answer to why Hulk was here.

“Big guy?”  She said, a little confused.  She put her hand on his arm and stepped around him, standing in front of him like she wanted to shield him.  “What did you do to him?”  She yelled.

“Us?”  The old man argued.  “Your boyfriend just turned into a monster and somehow that’s our fault.”

“Daddy!”  Summer snapped.  “I know you think I don’t know what you say to the people I bring home.  But I do.  I hoped you might not be stupid though.  What did you say that upset him so much?”

“I told him to break up with you!  You’re too good for him Summer!  He’s older than your mother!”  The man argued.

Summer took a deep breath and balled her hands into tiny fists.  Hulk squared up behind her, breathing heavily.  “Daddy, I love you, but you can be a huge asshole sometimes.”  She turned to Hulk and touched his wrist.  “Hey, you want to come outside with me.  We have horses.  I want to show you.”

Hulk smiled and wrapped his large hand around Summer’s tiny waist.  As she led him out of the room, Summer stopped at the girl who was still looking at Hulk stunned.  “Can you get some of Daddy’s clothes and bring them out to the stable?”  She said quietly.

The girl nodded.  “Yeah… yeah okay.”

“Thanks, Dakota,” Summer said and led Hulk outside.

He lumbered after beautiful Summer through the grounds.  “I’m sorry about my dad.  He can be a bit much.”  She said.

“Hulk not mind.  Hulk used to it.”  He rumbled.

“You shouldn’t be used to it though.  It’s mean.  Did Bruce get really upset?”  She asked.

Hulk nodded.  “Puny Banner.  Not like being questioned.  Hulk here now.”

She led him into a stable and Hulk began to look at the horses.  He always liked being around animals.  Animals never judged him.  The horses all let him pat them and feed them hay.  Summer introduced him to each one and gradually Hulk calmed completely and was just enjoying that he got to spend some time with her.

The brown-haired girl showed up with her arms full of clothes.  “You think this stuff will be okay?”  She asked as she handed them over to Summer.

“Yeah, it’ll be fine.  Thanks, Dee,” Summer said and put it on a bench.  “Hey Big Guy, this is my sister Dakota.  Dakota, this is the Hulk.”

Dakota raised her hand in a wave.  “Nice to meet you.”

Hulk huffed and nodded his head.

“You’re not scared of him?”  Dakota asked her sister.

Summer shook her head and patted Hulk’s hand.  “He’s my friend.  It’s nice getting to see him.  I just wish it wasn’t because of something dad said.”

Dakota shrugged.  “You should have seen him with the last guy I bought home.  Didn’t even try and chase him off in private.”

Summer giggled.  “I get he’s trying to protect us… I just…”

“Yeah…” Dakota agreed and looked up at Hulk.  “Can you introduce me to Cap?”

Hulk furrowed his brow.  “Don’t know.”

“Dakota, you’re 17!  He’s over 100!”  Summer yelped.

“Yeah, yeah.   And he’s hot as fuck,” Dakota said.

Hulk could feel Bruce niggling at the back of his head and he huffed and put his hand on Summer’s back.  “Banner want back.  Hulk go.”

Summer leaned up and kissed Hulk’s cheek.  “It was nice to see you.”

He nodded and stepped back and sunk back into the dark.

Bruce groaned and blinked around.  “Summer?”  He said, covering himself with his hands.

Summer grabbed the pile of clothes and gave them to him.  “It’s okay.  You’re okay.”

“Where are we?”  Bruce asked.

“The stables.  I thought it would be a good way to calm Hulk down,” she explained and looked at Dakota.  “You think we can have some alone time?”

“Yeah, whatever,” Dakota said, looking Bruce up and down before spinning and heading back to the house.

“Did I hurt anyone?”  Bruce asked as he started getting dressed.

“No, Brucie,” Summer said rubbing his back. “Just smashed a coffee table.  But he can afford to replace it.”

“I’m sorry,” Bruce said with a sigh.  He was starting to think maybe Chester was right after all.  Anything could have happened and it would have been his fault.

“No, Bruce.  I’m sorry for letting him talk to you like that.  I shouldn’t have left you alone,” she said.

He paused as he buttoned up his pants.  “Summer, this isn’t your fault.”

Summer wrapped her arms around his shoulders and nuzzled into his back.  “I’m not stupid, Bruce.  I know who my dad is.  I try and keep him accountable, but he sees me as this… perfect little flower and he doesn’t really listen to anything I actually say.  He’s still my dad though.  I knew he probably wouldn’t like you.  I knew I shouldn’t let him be alone with you.  But … it seemed to be going okay.  I slipped.”

Bruce turned and pulled her close.  “You don’t have to protect me from that.  I should be able to keep the anger under control.”

She leaned her forehead against his.  “Hulk didn’t hurt anyone.  I promise,” she said.  “What do you want to do?”

“I want to go home to bed and start thinking of ways to pretend none of this ever happened,” Bruce said.  “But we should probably go back inside.  I can’t just run from people like that.  Especially not when they’re your family.  Because… I love you, Summer.  I want you to be my family.”

Summer smiled.  “What if… we go to my room first.  We can do some of those things first,” she teased.  “Besides.  I wanted to show you my poster.”

Bruce smiled and kissed her nose.  “That sounds really good.”

Summer led him back inside through the back door and upstairs to her bedroom.  It was everything he’d hoped it would be.  Everything was pink and floral.  Shelves were littered with snow globes and ceramic unicorns.  There was a twin bed with a white metal frame in the middle of the room with a garish pink, floral bedspread that looked like it came right out of the 1970s.  Around the edge of the room acting as a kind of wallpaper-border, were pictures of various scientists, including, Nikola Tesla, Albert Einstein, Ada Lovelace, Alan Turing, and above her bed, a photograph of him.

“Look at that, you weren’t kidding, were you?”  He said, looking around at the photos.  “If you were so into science, why are you studying classics?”

Summer shrugged.  “I liked the history about how the discoveries were made more.  The lives of the people who made the grand discoveries.  How Évariste Galois died in a duel.  And the way Tesla was treated by Eddison.  I still cry when I think about how Turing was treated,” she stepped over to Bruce and put her hands on his chest.  “How Bruce Banner fell in love with some crazy redhead.”

Bruce chuckled.  “I thought you were going to say something about the accident.  Or being hunted.  Or becoming an Avenger.”

Summer shook her head.  “This bit is much more interesting.”  She brought her lips to his and they kissed deeply.  His arms circled around her and he pulled her tight against him and she began to unbutton his shirt.  “Bruce,” she whispered.  “I want you to fuck me so hard.  Use me like he thinks you must be.”

Bruce choked on air.  “You’re sure?”

“Yes, please,” she hummed, kissing just under his ear and pulled his shirt open.

He pulled back and looked at her, “I’ll do my best.  With the Hulk out I might have to pull back though.”  He said seriously.

“I understand, honey,” she said, smiling sweetly at him.

“Now, for me to feel okay about it, you need to be as quiet as you can.  Okay, sweet one?”

“Yes, sir,” she whispered.

“Then take off those clothes and get on your knees.”

Summer pulled back and took off her jacket and blouse.  She folded them in half and laid them over her desk.  She slipped her shoes off and shimmied out of her pencil skirt.  She was wearing a white lace bra with matching thong, a white garter belt and shimmering white stockings  Bruce hummed as he looked her up and down and pulled out his cock.

“Look at you,” he growled softly as he pumped his cock.  She bit her bottom lip and sunk to her knees in front of him, looking up at him with those clear blue eyes.

She ghosted her lips up his shaft and kitten licked along the slit.  Bruce hardened fully and wrapped her hair in his hand.  He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, centering himself.  When he let it out he looked down at her and pulled her hair.  “Open wide, honey.”

Summer opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out.  Bruce pushed his cock in past her lips and she closed them around him, engulfing his shaft in the warm, wet of her mouth.  She sucked up and down his length with that perfect amount of pressure to send a shiver running up his spine.  For a moment he just watched her and enjoyed the way that a dull tingle coiled up through him from his cock.

He pulled her hair back and looked down into her eyes.  “Hold still, honey.”

Summer opened her mouth and Bruce began to thrust down her throat.  “That’s it,” he purred.  “Take it.”

She moaned and gripped his thighs, breathing through the assault on her throat but never gagging or choking.  He brought himself right to the edge of orgasm with her mouth.  His cock throbbed and his balls tightened, ready to release  Just when he thought he’d gone too far, he let her go and pulled back.  Summer fell to her hands and knees panting.

“Fuck,” she gasped.  “That was so hot, Bruce.”

Bruce helped her to her feet and kissed the side of her neck.  “You’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen.  If it was hot, it was all you.”

She hummed, carding her fingers through his hair and making him purr softly as she unhooked his bra, tossing it aside.  “Fuck me hard, Bruce,” she whispered against his ear.

“You be good and stay quiet,” he said and spanked her ass.  He spun her around and bent her over the bed.  He yanked her thong down, snapping the clasps of her garters as he pulled them down.  He crouched as he dragged them down, kissing the insides of her thighs and nuzzling at her pussy.  When he stood again he ground against her and palmed her cunt, massaging it and slipping his fingers between her folds.  She mewled and wriggled against him, and he grabbed her thighs, tearing her stockings as he pulled her back flush against him.

“Please, Bruce,” Summer whined through clenched teeth. “I want your dick so bad.”

Bruce reached into his pants for his wallet and then remembered that these weren’t his clothes.  “Damnit.  Summer.  I don’t have any protection.”

Summer gripped the sheets and groaned.  “Have you been sleeping around?”

Bruce shook his head. “No.  Just you.”

“You know you can if you want to,” she said.

“Are we really having this conversation right now?”

Summer started laughing.  “Sorry.  My last test came back clean and I’ve only been with you since.  Cassie went down on me one time and I gave this guy I met at school a handjob, but I used a latex glove  So if you want to...”

Bruce blinked and shook his head.  “You’re on birth control?”

“Yes, sir,” she purred grinding her dripping cunt back against his cock.

Bruce took a few deep breaths, massaging her ass as he pictured how her cunt would feel as he fucked her raw.  His chest rose and fell as he pushed Hulk back, the deep rumble of his primal need pushing against him.  He gripped her hips and sunk deep into her.

She groaned and bit the quilt cover as she squeezed her pelvic floor around him, the warmth and wetness of her encompassing his shaft as it pressed down from every side.  It was the first time he’d even attempted sex without protection since Betty before the accident and he’d forgotten how different it felt.

“God, Summer.  You feel so good,” he groaned.

“Fuck me with that huge cock, Bruce,” she moaned in response.

He leaned over and started to rail into her.  She cried out and gripped the sheets as he pounded into her, each thrust, pushed her twin bed across the room a little more.  “Summer, quiet,” he growled, spanking her ass.

“Feels so good,” she mewled.  “You’re gonna have to gag me.”

He grabbed her panties and shoved them in her mouth to muffle her cries, and she groaned and clenched around him.  He picked up his pace, slamming into her and groaning as her cunt massaged his cock.  She reached between her legs and rubbed her clit.  It made her lose control completely.  Her whole body clenched up and she cried out loudly as her cunt spasmed around Bruce’s cock.

“I’m close, Summer,” Bruce moaned.  “Where do you want it.”

“Come on my tits, Bruce,” she begged.  “Paint me with it.”

Bruce groaned, gritting his teeth as he pulled out.  Summer slid off the bed, onto her knees and turned to face him, looking up at him as she squeezed her tits together.  He pumped his cock quickly as he looked down at her, completely overcome by lust.

He grunted and released, painting her breasts with hot ropes of come.  Summer hummed and ran her fingers through the mess.  As he helped her back to her feet she stuck her fingers in her mouth and sucked them clean.

“I can’t believe we just did that,” Bruce said, pulling her into his arms.  “With your parents downstairs and right after a Hulk out.”

“I’m a bad girl, Brucie,” she hummed, nuzzling at his neck.  “You should punish me next time.”

“Maybe I will, you dirty thing,” Bruce said.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.  “Did you want to get cleaned up and try having lunch with them?”

Bruce nodded.   “Yeah.  If they’re okay with me being here.”

She looked up at him and frowned a little.  “I’m sorry he was like that.  You don’t have to see them again if you don’t want to.” 

He held her close to him.  “No, Summer.  I love you so much.  I would spend every day with them if it meant I could be with you.”

// NEXT

[fakerbatch]

That new GF of MF looks half his age. Midlife crisis must have hit him hard. First JJ and now someone who could be his daughter. I really expected more from him, someone his age or at least his generation 😂 like AA was.

It’s funny when I first saw her I thought she was older but later pics (and her Instagram 🙄) make it seem like she’s a lot younger yes maybe mid 20s. He does have a type though that’s for sure. (And yeah maybe another midlife crisis although I really think he had one 2015-2016ish)

[martinfreemangossip]

I just found out about JJ and MF last night (I’ve been so out of the loop fml). I’ve scrolled through her IG and Twitter. I’ve also read all of your blog. Really interesting stuff. I agree with a lot of what you say but most things I’m on the fence about. I feel dead inside knowing this information. I want to delete myself. But at the same time I’m kinda (???) interested how everything will play out. Sorry for the rant lol. Anyway, thanks for the blog and keep it up

I think that most of us have been exactly where you are now Nonny. I was on the fence about a lot things but after a while you sort of get used to this new reality. This blog was born because it was obvious that people like myself had opinions that they needed to share with others and at the same time - the same thing happened with AA - if you weren’t absolutely in love with it (and like some stalkers of this blog are already marrying them) - you were bad. So anonymous it is.I’m definitely curious how this nonsense will continue to play out. I tend to feel nauseated by how fake this person Martin picked is and how much like AA she is. The ridiculous relationship between AA and JJ is just creeping me out and midlife crisis is in bloom. Thanks for your message and please come back :) While JJ is in London (she clearly travels there every month, thanks to MF I assume), she overshares a lot - for bragging purposes. 

[ecotone99]

[MF] Luna

Luna

3-24-2020

by

Patrick Ryan

1,387 words

A middle-aged man finds it hard to succeed in the music business, so he recruits a much younger, attractive girl to perform his songs, but is he asking for more than just karaoke?

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

At the age of forty-eight, Rexford Ryerson realized he wanted to become a well-known music star. Call it a midlife crisis, label it a profound passion, call it an impulse if you like to, Rexford's vision of becoming a singer and songwriter was real, and to achieve that ambition, he would stop at nothing.

Rexford set out; he studied guitar first, then he learned to read notes and finally he began to compose music. It took Rexford two years to become a songwriting wizard, and finally, on the day of his 50th birthday, he had twelve outstanding songs, and an album to call his own.

Rexford sent the demo to everyone who might listen, the internet, video streaming, and even to a business that supplied music for elevators. He gave the songs at no cost; he was playing everywhere, even playing in the subway. Rexford was puzzled because these were amazing tracks, he didn't understand why nobody wanted to listen to them.

One day, Rexford went down to the recording studio where he learned that some new talent was being evaluated by label executives. He snuck into the recording session, trying to at least get a reason for his rejection. He waited for his opportunity.

The record executives left the recording room where Rexford was preparing to pounce, he went up to the executives and asked,

"Why don't you listen to my music?" Rexford asked. The record executive was alert,

"yo, man; it has nothing to do with your music; it's everything to do with you." Rexford pushed for a better explanation.

"Hey, the music business is an art; the last thing that's going to be played on the radio is a 50-year-old white guy talking about their problems," the executive said. He then pointed to a young talent coming out of the recording studio,

"that's the future, a 22-year-old Latina looking sexy in a music video," he said.

Discouraged by this news, Rexford accepted his fate and went home. Around a month later Rexford and his wife headed to the community theater to watch Grease. This talented young woman had portrayed Sandy's part. The entire audience couldn't keep their eyes off her. To back it up she had a look, and the pipes too! Rexford had a great idea about the second act. Rexford decided to get backstage to meet this beautiful star once the play was finished. This is not difficult to do in community theatre.

The actress ' name was Rosita Muniz, a 20-year-old from the local area. She thanked her friends and headed to the dressing room to remove her makeup. Rexford taps on the door and enters the dressing room. Rexford explained the dilemma he had with these songs, "Nobody will play my music because I'm an old white guy, I need somebody like you to sing my songs and take credit for them." Rosita became nervous about singing those songs for Rexford. She felt for the guy though and agreed to meet him to listen to the songs for lunch the next day.

Only one listening needed; Rosita loves the music. The rest of the day, Rosita and Rexford developed an identity, a reputation, a voice, and even an imaginative backstory. That evening the pop star, Luna, was born. It didn't take long for the recording executives to recognize Luna. She was signed on within a week.

The album became a hit, and Rexford's music earned Luna worldwide recognition. Although he wasn't receiving much credit, Luna and Rexford arranged a deal so they both got a percentage of the profits. His dream had come true, Rexford was thrilled. They were his songs and they were all over the world. They agreed on the two-album contract. The music will be produced by Rexford, and Luna will perform all the interviews, concerts, talk shows, and showcases.

Luna was young; she ate up becoming a star. It wasn't long until Luna was drinking in clubs until late into the evening, often mixing drugs and alcohol and missing events. Rexford began to show concern for Luna; he was the one who launched her into the realm of entertainment, with the added responsibility of maintaining their secret.

Following a performance one night, Rexford wants to find Luna backstage, but the guards just turn him away. When she left the arena, he decided to follow her instead, so she went to a club named Nitro. Knowing that he would stick out like a sore thumb, Rexford waited across the street in his car, diagonally to the club's entrance. When she walked out, it was almost two in the morning, intoxicated, surrounded by young men looking for a good time. Things started to get out of hand and she was thrown into a car, Rexford sprang into action, charging through the street dragging the young people out from on top of her, kicking one, throwing another down to the pavement, picking up Luna and carrying her to his house.

Luna lived a month at the house with Rexford trying to rehabilitate from drugs and alcohol. The Luna phenomenon was on hold, if there is anything that the public loves more celebrities at their low point, it's a comeback. Luna was announced to return on her tour, and tickets sold out quicker than they could even print. Rexford became worried that Luna was coming back so soon, he demanded to go on tour with her, to look out for her. He would always get a hotel room next to hers, everywhere they went. The comeback tour was a rousing success. Luna was able to keep clean and the songs sounded good.

Unfortunately, when Luna and Rexford came back in to record the second album, it didn't nearly have the success of the first one. She encountered the backlash of her fans, the media's harshness and then the internet trolls ' malicious comments. Luna found herself depressed, the tour was cut short due to poor ticket sales, and the contract's second and final album which Rexford and her signed was canceled. After that, Rexford and Luna didn't spend much time together, going their separate directions.

Even though Luna’s celebrity star, that once had shone so bright, was dimming, there was still enough media attention to impact Luna in a negative light. Along with her depression, Luna took the rejection hard and relapse was likely to occur. Any time she danced on a club table, smashed a bottle of alcohol in the VIP room, danced inappropriately on the dance floor, she was caught by paparazzi or at least somebody's cell phone camera. The relapse finally happened, when she took drugs at a party one night, fell in the shower, it took Narcan to get her back to life. Why does rock bottom have to hurt so badly?

Rexford took her in again, no longer in it to gain something, it was just about getting Luna better. Rexford had one goal to finish Luna once and for all and bring back Rosita Muniz, the sweet girl who played in Grease at the community theatre. It took six months before Rosita started behaving more like herself. Rexford and Rosita would occasionally play music, not to record, not to become famous, not to take it on tour, but only for the fun of it. Offers eventually came for Luna to tour once more now that she was clean. There's always somebody buying a concert ticket, if not for the sake of nostalgia. If there was one thing she gained from this endeavor, it was that fame is a fickle demon to tangle, Rosita turned down all the offers.

Our culture is fascinated with youth, fixated on celebrity and consumed with beauty. The unfortunate thing is, while people dream to be celebrities, there's little joy in finally becoming one. It's a scam, the desire to be a star dictates that you pay a price. At the community theater that night, Rexford was not only asking her to sing his music, but he was also asking her to become another person. Fair or not, many strive for fame, but it is something only a few can handle.

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California alt-metal demigods Faith No More are one of music’s most influential and commanding bands. Sonic trailblazers, possessive of otherworldly talent and seemingly limitless artistic vision, Faith No More’s impact on the sound of modern rock music is undeniable, with acts the size of Nirvana, Slipknot, System of a Down, Deftones and Korn, among the many to have publicly claimed Faith No More as an influence, and thousands more wearing the influence on their musical sleeves.

Faith No More’s biggest hits are inescapable with the likes of ‘Epic’, ‘Ashes to Ashes’, ‘Midlife Crisis’, ‘Falling to Pieces’ and their iconic cover of Commodores ‘Easy’ hardwired into our memories, as truly essential musical artefacts of the ’80s and ’90s. Yet they somehow still feel relevant to this day. True artists, every Faith No More record offers distinctly different melds of musical styles, held together by musicianship, songcraft and vocalist Mike Patton’s astonishing vocal prowess.

Faith No More’s recorded output is matched only by the quality of their live shows, with their headline performances widely regarded as one of live music’s greatest trips. For 23 years Australian audiences have had to watch in envy as Faith No More have blown audiences away worldwide, with their headline show. In May that wait is finally over. As Faith No More are heading to Australia for their first headline run of shows since 1997.

On the morning that the news broke, Faith No More’s keys player extraordinaire, Roddy Bottum, had a chat with Music Feeds about the tour announcement, their upcoming bushfire relief benefit show, the musical legacy of Faith No More and what Aussie audiences can expect come May.

Music Feeds: I must admit this is a pretty big thrill for me, I’ve been a fan of your band essentially since I was born, so please excuse any fanboy moments I might have!

Roddy Bottum: That’s great I LOVE fanboy moments, thank you for having them, I appreciate it!

MF: I won’t bury the lead here, the reason I’m talking to you at 8.30 in the morning, my time, is because Faith No More are heading out to Australia for your first headline tour since 1997! That’s pretty exciting news for us! Is it exciting news for you?

RB: That’s like nearly 25 years, 23 years!

MF: That’s a really big gap, I have to ask, after 23 years, what made now the right time?

RB: We’ll we’ve been down since, but last time we were out there it was for some festival shows.

MF: Yes, you were here in 2010 and 2015 for some festivals.

RB: Yeah, that’s right, but as you said, we haven’t been out for our own shows. Honestly, last time on the Sol Invictus record, I remember it was our intention to come to Australia, but I think in the end we all just got sick of touring, and so we didn’t. The record cycle came to an end we just decided to stop.

Honestly, at the end of that run of shows, we were exhausted, all beat up and done with it, so the shows just didn’t feel like we were really performing at our best. Personally, I think this is a great opportunity to go back and make things right a little bit, and probably play shows than we did the last time round. It’ll be a thing to, I’m not going to say end our career on, but at least a good thing to put out into the world.

MF: As the first shows on this tour, this sounds promising for Australia, catching you at peak motivation. Now, at this stage of your career, is your legacy something you have to consider each time you play a show? That each show could be the last thing you do, so you need to make sure the shows are the best they can be?

RB: I think when you don’t put a record out, you can only play so many shows before you start feeling yucky about it, and feel like you’re taking advantage of the situation. We’re all a little bit sensitive to that. So there’s only a small window of shows we’ll play before we start to feel like, let’s not do this anymore. I think these shows are a really good, unique opportunity though, as we didn’t get a chance to tour Australia on the Sol Invictus tour and play those songs, so being able to do that now feels like a cool opportunity.

MF: That might help reinvigorate or freshen up the set a bit for you too, because while it won’t be the first time that you’re playing those songs live, it will be the first time the audience has seen you play them, and you should be able to feed off of that excitement.

RB: I think so, but it feels a little bit like people want to hear the old songs, sometimes, honestly, but that’s okay too.

MF: One cool thing that you’ll probably see out here and no doubt have in the past is grandparents, parents, grandkids all rocking out together, connected by your music. That must be pretty mind-blowing.

RB: That would be mind-blowing! I don’t think I’ve ever seen a three-generational audience before. Do you think there might be grandparents, parents and grandkids at these shows? That would be amazing!

MF: I’ve seen it at other bands of similar tenure at shows down here recently, some of who don’t have anywhere near the impact of Faith No More, so I do think it’s very likely, I mean you don’t have to be that old to be a grandparent!

RB: Right! I’m 56 years old! I could totally be a grandparent. I mean when we did shows before, we used to ask how many people in the room hadn’t seen us before, and the answer usually was that most people hadn’t seen us before, so I think there’s a lot of that. Some people come back for nostalgia, but a lot of people were seeing us for the first time because they’d heard about us from their parents, or their older siblings, or perhaps they’d always been fans but were too young to see us before, so that was really cool and really surprising.

MF: Now, Faith No More recently announced that you’ll be playing a benefit show in Manchester in June to raise money for the ongoing bushfire relief effort in Australia, which is incredible news, what inspired that?

RB: Well, we decided internally that we wanted to do a benefit to help Australia, and we hadn’t announced a second show in Manchester yet, so logistically it made sense to make it that one.

In terms of motivation, Australia means a lot to us, it’s the first place that we ever had a number one single, the first place to embrace us in such an intense way, so we all felt like there’s a connection there, and we really wanted to do something to help out and repay that support. As a band, we felt that it felt too intensely capitalist or corporate of us to be coming out to play shows and be making money off of people in a country that’s gone through a crisis the way Australia has. I don’t think any of us could have gone down there and made money playing there, and leave with a clean conscience, without doing something to help out and give back in some regard.

Also a couple of years ago, a fire ripped through my apartment building here in New York City and the building got demolished and I pretty much lost everything that I had and I’m still out of the building now. So that really brought the impact of fire and what the fallout of a fire does to people and what it does to a community, in a really personal way. I still feel really connected to what happens in that situation, and connected to people experiencing that. Not that my apartment fire was on the same level of what’s happening in Australia of course, but I do feel like I “get it”. So I’m happy that I can help people living through that in some way.

MF: All very noble and inspiring reasons for a show. I’m sure everyone impacted is appreciative of Faith No More’s contribution. Now, as a band, Faith No More move around genres a lot, and as musicians, you all move around projects a lot, do you feel like that helps to keep the music and the experience of Faith No More, feeling fresh and fun for you?

RB: We haven’t done Faith No More in so long, but for me, everything I do, is so rewarding and amazing to do. I did this opera, called Sasquatch: The Opera, I wrote the opera, rehearsed the opera, had a cast of six musicians and six principal actors, six chorus members and we put it on in New York in a theatre and then I took it to Edinburgh for Fringe and put it on for an entire month. It was super rewarding, but I just lost a shitload of money! Then my other bands are really fun!

I’m in this band called Nastie Band which is a really weird band with a singer that’s like 85 years old, then I’m in this other band called CRICKETS, that’s just getting started, but none of these bands make any money, I mean they’re super successful for what they are and rewarding to do, but it’s definitely fun to be able to walk back into Faith No More and have this loyal, large, fanbase, waiting. That’s a way different vibe to everything else that I do. I to get on the stage and have a lot of people clap, is just phenomenal!

MF: The scope that you’re describing is pretty incredible, and I think it shows that Faith No More, as individuals and as a group, are truly artists. Which I think is a really cool dynamic. It does make me wonder what artists inspire you now?

RB: It’s always been the community in which we live and the people that I mix with. A lot of painters and filmmakers. I still love music and listen to music and I go to shows all of the time, but I seem to be more inspired by visual artists or operas. I love opera and I’m trying to get more involved with that because I find the scope of the way that it is done here in New York is really inspiring to me. I love big, complex, performances, so I’ve been taking a lot of interest in that. Musically, I really like Lana Del Rey’s latest record and the Angel Olsen record, so I guess I would say I’m inspired by those records.

MF: Does it ever get tiring or perhaps overwhelming being in the front row for the circus of Mike Patton?

RB: We just know each other really well, so I don’t think it seems or feels like a circus to us when we do what we do. Now oftentimes, when we get on stage, things just happen, but no, it doesn’t get tiresome, I love these guys a lot. More so than any boyfriend I’ve ever had, they’re almost family members really, they’re the people I know more than anyone else in my life, so it never feels like a chore. Mike, in particular, is just such a sweet man, an incredible artist and performer, so his theatrics never get on my nerves or anything like that.

MF: As this iconic band, that’s lasted for so long, and done so many different things, and influenced so many other artists, do you ever find yourself thinking about what the enduring legacy of Faith No More will be? Do you think there’s a song, or a record, or a sound or movement that you’ll be remembered for?

RB: I was talking to someone earlier, and they brought up the fact that Faith No More does this thing where we meld musical flavours together. I’m aware that we do that and always have. For example, we were one of the first bands to put rap beats in a hard rock environment, which while it sounds kind of cheesy to say now, I’d like to think that it helped to open up some people’s minds to the possibility of listening to different types of music. Nowadays, that’s a given, I mean, everyone listens to rap music, rap isn’t this African American music form, everyone listens to rap, and that’s not the way that it was when we were starting out. Same goes for people listening to weird classical music now, and new genres.

I think the dawn of computers really helped make things more available and people are now more open to different flavours. I’d like to think that we were on the cusp of that starting to happen. I don’t take specific credit for opening people’s minds, but I like knowing that at that place, at that time, when people were first exploring new musical direction, we were there and that’s a really nice place to be in history.

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 Faith No More will be hitting up ARENA sized venues in Brisbane, Sydney, Adelaide, Melbourne & Perth this May. Head here for dates and details. 

The post “Australia Means A Lot To Us”: Faith No More On The Bushfire Crisis & Their First Aussie Tour In 23 Years appeared first on Music Feeds.

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