#that realization kinda sucks ass

[skitskatdacat63]

For everyone who wanted bullfighter Nando when I mentioned it the other day, here you go :D

+ this one I don't feel like coloring yet(imagine he's in Ferrari colors!!!)

[hcdragonwrites]

Barbed Words (@journey-to-the-au Fic) Part 2 Tea Trouble

So…. This has turned into …,,, three parts. Yes. Three. There’s a lot of dialogue and I… yeah. It’s a lot of different characters talking a bit. So … ENJOY- I’ll post the last part later today.

The day couldn’t have been more perfect on the mountain. The sun was shedding glorious warmth upon Willows back. She was dressed in her finest court attire to impress upon her sisters. Willow would have been in her more relaxed attire but today… was not the day to buck courtly garb in the sisters eyes. They would be dressed just as she, hair done in loops and paint pressed to lips, as the court dictated. Willow would not let her dress be the reason her sisters turned their nose up at her home.

She would impress those same sisters who came stepping off their celestial mounts with the grace of clouds. But It was like the mountain had heard Willows frantic beating heart and had bent to kiss her brow in comfort. The apple blossoms were in full bloom, the scent heady and sweet on the air. The grass was perfectly green and soft beneath the blanket she was settled on. The tree they were beneath was one strong Honeysuckle, it’s emerald leaves chattering in the breeze as if in welcome to the six sisters who walked forward. The morning dew had not burnt off yet which led to a coolness in the ground Willow could feel. Nature was in its best and most beautiful untamed self.

As her sisters steeds touched ground, a monkey named Ocean and his sister Spray stepped forward and collected the horses. The celestial beasts would be put to pasture to enjoy the days warmth and beauty. Which seemed just fine to the horses, as they swished cloud bobbed tails or snorted vapor into the warming air.

That spring air was fresh and the mountain felt it- the troop was out and about. Littles played and tussled between brambles and thickets. Mothers groomed and talked about their babes or gossiped about their mates in trees with low slung branches. Fathers were about, either tussling with others of the troop or collecting foods and polishing weapons. Unmated males, those who felt the spring air a bit too warmly, strutted and fastidiously groomed themselves. Then they would make their way to the bend in the river where the Water Curtain Caves spray coloured the air in a rainbow. Here the bachelorettes of the troop would be sunbathing. Here they would braid flowers and feathers into fur, and blush or chuckle at the sauntering show ponies who walked by to woo their besotted.

The laughter and the noise of the day was like music to Willow. Her Earthen family was about her, frolicking and living life. It set a small bit of her tension to ease.

Thank you Huaguoshan, Willow quietly said, wanting to kiss her mountain home. It had put on its best colors, it’s most beautiful and harmonious of welcomes. Wukong was dressed in battle regalia, soft leathers and polished armour that could set the suns rays to envy. He had dressed as king upon her request, kneeling beside her as the celestial sisters walked forward.

Summer Turning Flower was the forefront, dressed in greens and embroidered in a stitch of golden apples along the hem and wrists. Willow greeted Summer warmly with smile and a hug as her second sister knelt.

“Oh Willow its so GOOD to see you! A veritable beauty among the beasts.” Summer smiled to her.

Ah… was that intended ? Willow looked into her sisters eyes as they parted. She tried to figure out just what could have happened - or what that had been about. Was it an intentional saying ? Her sister had stepped back, casting her eyes downward.

“Hello Great Sage.” Summer bowed to Wukong, head low.

“Arise sister in law. You need not treat me with courtly courtesy. Wukong will do for my family.” Willows heart wanted to stretch in warmth at Wukongs kindness.

“Oh good.” Winter Frosted Grace sighed. She dropped onto the blanket with only the confidence that she could exude. Her ice blue robes crumpled beneath her as she sat, letting go of stately decorum for her posture. “I have had enough bowing to break a back for one day.”

“Was it a rough time in the palace then?” Willow asked.

“Oh sister dear,” Winter sighed, snapping a fan from a sleeve to wave at her face. “You have no idea. On this escapade I had three suitors try and prevent me from leaving. All of them beseeched me to reconsider for the ‘Grace of Heaven cannot loose another to the Savages’”

As Summer laughed Willow felt a bit of rage begin to build in her. A second slight. This time directly at myself. A small wave battered inside her, hitting against the sea wall she had erected all those years ago. Willow looked to Wukong. He seemed fine- his eyes not betraying the friendly warmth it still held.

“Of course I told the fat man to take his worries back to his mistress beneath the peach blossom trees.” Winter flapped a hand with the fan, as if blowing the man away. “I have no interest in any man so foolish as to think me to flights of fancy.”

At least it is only me they target so. She could handle that. Willow had dealt with plenty a honey coated barb from her sisters.

Another crash of that ocean inside her.

Autumn Leaves Falling, dressed in her habitual golden and browns, was stopped talking to Liu just several paces away. The Marshal had agreed so courteously to be the guard today, to play the role of protector. And though Wukong had tried to dissuade his dear friend, Liu had simply stared him down.

“It is to honor our Lady Willow. To make a show that Huaguoshan is well kept in both beauty and manners.” Liu had said. The Marshal would hear no more of it, his mind set.

The monkey greeted Willows laughing sister with kindness and such delicate court courtesy that Willow felt a wave of love swamp her little anger. Liu, of all the monkeys besides Wukong, knew how nervous Willow had grown. He was always carefully watching everyone and had seen how she had begun to pace It had been He who had first told Wukong of her exertions to the caves after bed to start gathering materials and go over supplies. That had been several months ago when the little bit of chill still hung in the air.

As Autumn came gayly up, she was surpassed by Wind Over Sea and Weaves The Clouds. They came in a whirlwind, laughing and tumbling over eachother. They fell head first into the blanket, grabbing and tugging at one another.

Wukongs quick thinking pulled the tea tray and treats up and away before the sisters could crash into the set and make a mess.

“You cheater!” Cloud accused.

“I didn’t cheat at anything!” Sea countered.

“You wagered and lost!”

“I didn’t wager a thing!”

Wukong set the tray aside with grace and pulled the sisters apart with ease as if her were picking two ladybirds up from a rose bush.

“What is this I hear of a wager ?” He asked.

“Sea made a bet that she has no intention of keeping!” Cloud accused, crossing her arms.

“You didn’t win though!” Sea began, voice rising.

Oh good Greif. Of her sisters, Cloud and Sea got into the most trouble together. It was almost as if they took after their namesakes- each feeding off the other and bringing a storm to blow into court. Cloud was game for any challenge, to prove herself in any contest placed before her. She would get along with Wukong, Willow had thought many a time.

Sea was sly and always seeking mischief. Being the second youngest sister meant she did not leave a lasting impression upon the court. She was too far down the birth order for some to set their sons or themselves to courting. Or she was too ambiguous in courtly power to try an ally with. So Sea had found another way to get attention: pranking.

It seemed like this spat was just the typical stirring of the pot Sea would create.

“I will have peace this day for my wife’s sake.” Wukong admonished them both. Sea at least had the propriety to send a sheepish glance her eldest Sisters way.

“As King of Huaguoshan I will hold court.” And Wukong set the two sisters down taking a very mocking and kingly air. Willow giggled and Autumn chortled while Winter looked on with a tired gaze.

“Oh a game!” Little Weaver Girl came bounding up, the last and youngest of the sisters. Willow saw the genuine smile on her baby sisters face as she settled on the edge of the blanket, her body wriggling in excitement. Little was the gem, the glowing jewel, of the court. She was beloved by all for she was the youngest, the most open, and the one to create the unrivaled robes of their Fathers attire.

“Honestly these two gamble over the stupidest bets.” Winter snorted. She grabbed a teacake, sniffing it before taking a bite.

“I think it’s adorable.” Autumn smiled. She looked back to Liu who stood at attention. “Especially as they play act at courtly politeness.”

Play act ? The water in Willow swirled again, sharks smelling rage. Liu was never Play acting. Of all the world, the Marshal could rival generals in Heaven with his respect and kindness. Willow had to bite her tongue, fingers curling into her sleeve.

“Speak first Sister Cloud.” Wukong intoned, taking to the game quickly and with joy. “What sort of wager did you get cheated out of?”

“We bet to see how many colours of Monkeys we would see!” Cloud glared at her sister who stuck a tongue out.

“A fine wager.” Wukong agreed, looking out over the monkeys who walked by. Willow ignored how her sister Summer curled away from the friendly faces of her earthly family. Or at least she tried to.

Sand Crane, a kind old monkey slowly approached the party. She was one of the older grannies, face worn and leathered by the sun and laughter lines. She walked up to Willow, her smile making her eyes crinkle at the corner.

“For you, Dear one.” And she unfurled her hand. On her palm were some of the ripest berries plucked from a raspberry patch that Willow had every seen. The little gems were large and swelled with tart juice.

“Thank you Sand Crane.” Willow bowed.

“I picked them myself this morning.” The great old monkeys silvered muzzle and hair flashed like moonbeams in the sun. “The east mountain gets a nice breeze this year from the sea. The berries should be sweet for you and your sisters.” Without a second glance, the old matriarch stepped to the side, slipping into a throng of old grannies who set to chatter. Willow held the berries like gold. The east side of the mountain was steeper, the ever present monsoon rains having carved the terrible rock into a steep and slippery trap.

Sand Crane had quietly given her a great gift and had reassured her in a simple gesture. We love you, We want the best for you. Willow felt a swell of love threaten spill from behind her eyes.

I cant cry. I will cry later. And I will find that old grandmother and give her a hug for her kind words.

Willow slipped a cool berry into her mouth. The juice burst on her tongue, made all the sweeter by the gesture. Summer was watching her with a befuddled expression.

“Here- I know how much you love Raspberries!” She held her hand out to her sister.

“You are going to eat that ?” Summer asked from behind a polite smile.

It hit Willow like a slap.

Willow pulled back politely, taking the berries in her hand and keeping the fingers uncurled. She would not. Could not. Make a scene. These had been loving picked and given to me. Sand Crane had thought of me and had gone out of her way to gather them…

The waves inside Willow were crashing.

“And what was your guess?” Wukongs voice had Willow come back from that crashing anger, from that perilous rising sea. She saw the Monkey King mediating between her two younger sisters who had significantly calmed down.

“Twenty five colours.” Cloud said with a sniff.

“Alright. And Sister Sea what wager did you set ?” Wukong asked.

Seas smile was sly, a fox curling its lips around a chickens throat. “I said as many as the rainbow.”

“Which is not FAIR!” Cloud accused, throwing one finger in Seas face. Autumn laughed at the antics. Little simply helped herself to another mooncake, used to her sisters competing.

“But there IS A RAINBOW.” Sea insisted.

“No there isn’t !” Cloud spat like a cat.

“THERE IS RIGHT THERE - AND THEIR ARE MONKEYS BENEATH IT!” Sea hissed back, pointing to the waterfall spray that threw a perpetual mist into the air.

“That’s not a Heaven made one so it does not count!” Cloud sniffed. “It’s not a proper rainbow.”

It may have been the past barbs from Winter and Summer, but this phrasing following so close to Summers rejection to Sand Cranes gift- it stung already sore places. Willow couldn’t hide the small falling of her smile.

“A trickster then is Sister Sea.” Wukong leaned into the two fighting groups, giving a wink to Sea who chuckled.

“Do not make wagers with tricksters dear sisters.” Wukong philosophized, placing his hands behind his back to take a bit of a haughty air. “Especially if they are tricksters you call sister.”

“Aren’t you a trickster ?” Summer asked pointedly, her eyes sliding to Willow. What is that look ment to communicate ? Was she implying that Wukong was not to be trusted? That she had somehow been hoodwinked to come here ?

“Why yes.” Her friend rolled the sharper comment off his shoulder, letting the barb fall harmlessly. Or not recognizing the pointed slight. “ I am the best and most well know of cunning minded and sharp witted tricksters in stories. There are lessons to be learned in many a thing I have done.”

“Could you tell us Wukong?” Little asked around a mouthful of coconut cakes.

“Of course.” He leaned over and grabbed a napkin to wipe Littles face clean. Summer shivered and Winter fanned herself, puffing about the stuffy air. Hold it together Willow. She felt the waves rising, the surf surging in her heart. Wukong was being so gentlemanly. He was poised and well mannered. He was taking care of Little like he would any of his troop. It touched Willow with love. It also made her want to actually freeze her sisters in ice. Or politely push them into a rice field. On accident.

Maybe a good dunking will make them come to their senses.

“Now did I tell you of the time I dressed as my brother Bahjies Ex Wife to trick him into divorce ?” Wukong implored and Cloud, Sea and Little all clambered forward.

Whatever slights these three had said were not meant. It obviously had tickled down from on high. Willow saw the elder of her sister in the corner of her eyes. As Wukong launched into his story of disguise and acting, Willow took to leaning back and gauging the elders of the group. Autumn seemed fine- more amused by the journey and curious. Malicious no. Or maybe ignorant in how malicious her comments come off.

“It’s so hot dear Willow.. why is the air so … pungent?” Winter snapped her fingers and Willow felt her body go ridged. “Where’s the servant with some cold water ? I’m dying in this heat…”

Another slam into the sea wall inside herself.

“I will get it for you dear sister.” Willow said, rising from her place and stepping to the path that would lead to Water Curtain Cave.

“No servants to fetch things?” Summer cast about her, taking in the multitude of simians frolicking and enjoying the air. “No help for a daughter of the Royal family?”

Another crash of that wave.

“I prefer to get things myself instead of relying on others. I wouldn’t want to atrophy with the lack of movement.” It was a very sharp and direct barb but Willow had to deliver the reprimand. Summer had a tendency in court to be sloth like, relying on others to fan her or asking to be carried by palanquin. The harsher and more viceroys women of the palace said it was because Summer wanted to remain diminutive of stature and demur of nature. “All the better to woo our men.” One women, had whispered loudly. Willow would usually not try and use the court gossip to make a point. However … her patience was skating thin. She heard more then saw the intake of air as she walked away.

She hoped that was the last of it.

Willow entered the cave beneath the waterfall feeling a rush of emotions. Today was supposed to be lovely. It was supposed to be like that day back when the sisters had first crept to the earthly river, when they had all been girls and had laughed at the pleasure of just being.

Winter was miserable and melting and growing more corse by the second. Autumn found amusements in Lius severity thinking it was a game when the Marshal meant every word.

If she knew the courtesies Liu had she would never look to another man of the Palace. He’s worth twelve of those vipers in manners and in genuine heart.

Then there was Summer. Her second sister. The one who had the most aversion. Who had turned her nose up at a polite gesture. Willow felt her blood boil.

Willow pressed her hand to the cold stone of the cave, trying to take some of the chill into her blood. She did not want to cause a scene. Even though her sisters were digging for it.

[snowberry-pie]

durge and gortash’s relationship to me is like that one friend your parents didn’t want you hanging around because they were a “bad influence” but since your parents also kinda sucked you didn’t really realize they were right until several years later

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

i'm kind of amazed how most of the stardew marriage candidates just want you to be their manic pixie dream whatever by agreeing with everything they like and plying them with compliments or praise or whatever (which is fine but a bit. Much) but for shane his romance is just you being there for him while he figures his own shit out... dunno why i never wanted to romance him before he's so good

[sirpeppersto]

wait im getting kinda excited to turn 23...im actually really proud of everything im doing right now. im engaged, getting my cosmo license, i have a lot of really cool new friends that treat me with the honesty and respect i deserve, i have one of the highest paying jobs among my peers rn, people respect my art and literally hundreds of people follow me to see it and some of them tell me how good it is. like yeah im very mentally ill and the world is in flames but those are two constant conditions I'll have to live with. everything else is not guaranteed, but here i am with so many things I've been trying so hard to get and have been dreaming about for years, if not most of my life.

like. i feel COOL. i feel like ive accomplished a lot and im still figuring out who i am(another constant of the human condition) but i know that whoever i am, im cool as fuck and i can get shit done

[max--phillips]

I just realized I have very strong opinions about combat choreography for someone who could not hope to replicate that like……. Ever. Anyway I have high expectations for you, Gladiator 2

[arolesbianism]

Yet another beautiful day to have the Maxwel tag blocked (can't see half of the posts in the Wendy tags)

[rainbowresurrection]

I ended up reading The Price of the Phoenix and while it didn't make me want to bleach my eyes like Killing Time, I still didn't like it as much as I hoped I would. Don't get me wrong, the homoeroticism was intriguing to me, but the actual writing and storyline itself left me with a headache. I think I get my hopes up with these books, given all of the possibilities that the written word has for Trek, and it inevitably sets me up for disappointment lol

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

its so weird to read some of my old fics (do NOT do it but i'm just being hypothetical rn) and reading it. like who even was this person?? i completely was in a haze back in 2020. i literally was posting 3 chapters a day. A DAY. what in the WORLD was that shit.

anyway i remembered some STUPID sappy shit and i didnt remember if i'd put it into a fic or not BUT I FOUND IT.

She and Hope had been dating in secret for months anyway, and any attempt to go talk to Ryan only filed her disposition of displeasure upon knowing that she couldn’t tell anyone, Molly especially, it destroyed herself mentally. They couldn’t really go anywhere near the school, always having to lie to everyone about having projects together when Molly wasn’t around them. It’d consisted with 9 PM - 2 AM intervals of being able to actually see each other. Hope would sneak through her small bedroom window with a portable record player and whatever she had gotten from the vintage record store downtown, and Amy would always fall asleep around eleven because of her internal clock. She would always wake up to find a single sticky note stuck on the edge of her desk whenever she woke up to her alarm the next morning. One of them, Amy still had tucked inside of her phone case, a heavily detailed human heart, with blue and red ink sketched onto a neon pink sticky note, there was a caption that headed the small paper reading the phrase over every now and again makes her almost melt every time. “You have my heart.”

yeah idk why the fuck but i thought of this fucking idea again today and i was like "omg did i ever put that heart note thing in a fic???" yeah you fucking did.

all that to say ME AND WHO???? imagine. thats so fucking.... RAHHHH.

[yuridovewing]

going into the alderheart tag to see the general opinion on him and whether its actually changed since 2016 fandom labeled him as an uwu so sweet cute cinnamon roll baby boy, and it kinda seems like most people dropped that and either think hes Just There or really annoying. happy with the growth here tbh

[dreamlogic]

...

[hyunin]

oh while i'm logged in for once i figure i should tell the tumblr followers . i had a Rough lesbian week of visibility. sort of. by that i mean i like cried like a baby over every post i saw for it and i was like gee, why! i'm not even a lesbian! i'm just bi with a preference for women!

well i thought hard abt it and i have previously wondered if i'm a lesbian before and i was like. no surely not! i had a terrible crush on a boy when i was 13! i think boys are cute sometimes! but

upon further and serious thought i was like. i cannot imagine loving a man as much as i have loved the girls/nb people in my life like. never ever. there's just no way. i MEAN...ok maybe it's possible but i think abt being with a man on any intimate level and get kind of sick to my stomach now so i was like. ok! i was hung up over my Past History Of Liking Boys but when i think abt present day and future i just genuinely. do not want to date a man . i'm not gonna pretend i know what the future holds so who knows maybe there's some great guy out there but actually thinking about that makes me LOWKEY NAUSEOUS so. all of this to say i think i am a lesbian now <3 woohoo 🥳

i am still suffering from some lesbian imposter syndrome hardcore but at the same time i feel like??? freer...and like i can love more authentically, so it's also really exciting and i just want to talk about it everywhere <3

[pumakaji64]

I had an auditory hallucination for the first time ever this morning lmao.

I woke up really early on accident and shut my eyes for a little bit resulting in a short lucid dream and sleep paralysis- which I'm pretty used to by now it's more annoying then scary... Did not expect to hear what sounded like a crowd of people off in the distance followed by a loud bug buzzing in my right ear ( that one might've been real though, mosquitos have been sneaking into our house lately >:/ )

I figured out what was going on pretty fast still a bit spooky though, and the irony of having my first auditory hallucination on the first of October isn't lost on me though hahah.

[imwastingmylifehere]

i don’t think they realize

that i have a divide

between the black and the hispanic and white

to the point where my uncle will run around

saying the hood is the worst of the country

black people are making stupid choices

they smother the name of this good place

they send clips of candace owens in the group chat

“look,” says titi “even this black agrees there is no need to defund the police he was a criminal”

then i say, what does that mean?

then they finally notice that i have some melanin

and they start to scramble

oh not you gabby, you’re smart gabby

you get straight As and you’ll have honors

I want to say, i don’t get straight As but i just go okay abuelo whatever you say

then uncle ben will say you and your dad are my whitest black friends

my dad isn’t around them that much so he can keep his cool

but i’m not like him so i just explode

telling him, you realize i’m black too?

stop saying that. you can’t say that. it’s offensive to say that.

“gabby why are you attacking me?”

"stop being so dramatic, it was just a statement."

“it’s such a sensitive topic and it’s hard to talk about.”

then titi starts crying.

i cant say anything now, because i just honed in on my “angry black side”

I wish i said, sensitive for who? you?

you’re not the one being killed on the streets

but her tears were staining the sheets

so i have to shut up and apologize.

i’ve stopped expecting them to realize.

[synthetic-sonata]

one day ill post my pokemon games + spinoffs tierlist that im slowly chipping away at and have been since, like, june or july . but i dont think people are ready

[ame-to-ame]

I'm ngl was scared of going to one of my jobs bc i have certain trains of thought that get triggered in familiar places where i had those thoughts before especially when my mind wanders which is especially hard to control when idle/doing menial tasks and I'm not allowed to have music/ electronics so i can't distract myself easily. but work was so good today holy shit. my coworkers seemed happy to see me! i met someone really cool with similar music taste! we yapped for an hour! she told me to visit her in the future! i had a really busy and filled schedule! i get to play with kids! I get to help people! life is good!