#that said a height difference with taller female partner + shorter male partner makes me squeeee

[mxanigel]

Current stressed brain status: I have a new OC almost completely unrelated to anything I've posted/reblogged on here and I rather like her and the queer relationship she ends up in.

However, the idea of eventually posting anything I've drafted terrifies me (that fandom has 81k entries on AO3 💀). I sure as hell didn't expect it to suddenly take over my brain after a long hiatus, but here we are.

It's been a long long long time since I've dwelt on an OC for a fictional universe that doesn't really have OCs, hence my vagueposting here. I guess I just wanted to say that I'm still creating even if I'm hardly saying anything about it~

[fang-wolfsbane]

Boku No Hero Academia/My Hero Academia: Inked Feathered Flame: Chapter 04: Training Exercise

“So gear up, and meet me at the training grounds,” their current class teacher, the famous number one hero, All Might said, and with a press of a button, the wall on the left side of the classroom slid open, revealing numbered cubbies, each containing a hero suit they had all gotten the chance to give their opinion on.

Opening his cubby, Akuriru bit his bottom lip nervously. When he originally filled in his hero costume requirements sheet, he had been nothing less than uncertain about its appearance, never mind functionality. He didn’t want to end up looking like a costume clown, but he also needed his suit to be functional, so he had opted, with help from Momo, for clothing that left plenty of space to make full use of his quirk for the day he got more than his current tattoo. In the end, he had settled for black ripped pants, steady combat boots and a loose tank top and hoodie. A casual look, but still functional.

A glance towards Kyoka and Denki revealed that they had similar ideas in mind, respective of their own quirks. Kyoka met his eyes and flashed a kind smile as she and the girls all headed towards their changing room. Holding the body-heat adjusting fabric, Akuriru found himself smiling. Things were really starting to look up for him.

***

He might have thought too soon. All Might gave them a simple simulation situation where they divided into teams of two, one half playing the hero and the other half villains. Just his luck that All Might didn’t take into consideration that there were twenty-one students, leaving him as the odd number out. He had opted to sit the exercise out, only to receive a dramatic lecture from his teacher instead.

In the end, he ended up in a team with Fumikage Tokoyami and Tsuyu, or Tsu, as she insisted they all call her. Fumikage didn’t talk much, but he felt comfortable enough that Akuriru found himself to be relaxed around the other male student.

Their team was to play the villains, something he hadn’t expected, but neither did the team they were up against. All Might on the other hand had thought it a good opportunity for the team playing the heroes to deal with a situation where they would be outnumbered. It made sense, so no one had thought to argue against it.

Fumikage had chosen to defend the object the heroes were sent in to disarm, or capture them first, which left him and Tsuyu to attack. Tsuyu seemed to know exactly how she would go about it, but it left Akuriru a little uneasy. His tattoo could work for both attack and defence if he tried but going up against his classmates did leave him a little on edge.

Becoming a fulltime hero required going up against opponents, fighting in close to far ranges, whether you were adept at it or not. Akuriru knew he would need to practice on all fronts. Momo had nearly drilled that fact into him. If it hadn’t been for her own enthusiasm to become a hero, he would have dropped out before she even suggested this whole crazy route in the first place.

Tsuyu had voted to be the first line of attack, leaving Akuriru as the second line, and if they both failed, then it was up to Fumikage. If he remembered right, they were going up against Momo and Minoru Mineta. He didn’t know Minoru as well as he knew Momo, but he didn’t appreciate the way the purple-haired boy eyed his cousin, or any female in their class. He was certain they felt similar to him on that front.

Tsuyu had set herself against the wall, waiting until they could hear their opponents approaching. Just as Momo rounded the corner, Tsuyu’s long tongue struck out, blocking his cousin from entering the room as it wrapped around her waist and yanked her off to the side, earning a startled yelp from the taller girl.

“Don’t worry Yaoyorozu, I’ll save you!” Minoru’s voice screeched from where he came tumbling through the open doored threshold, his short legs spiralling in mid-air.

“Iro-kun, grab him!” Tsuyu called out, trying to hold Momo in place with her arms pinned to her sides. Akuriru had to shake his head to clear his thoughts before he realised that Tsuyu meant Minoru might get through their defence. Luckily for him, he had manifested his tattoo before their arrival.

With his right hand firmly grasped onto the pole, Akuriru spun the modified spear around, the tip blunted so as to not cause any physical harm. Upon spotting it, Minoru fell back on his backside. Akuriru had never felt like he possessed any physical power over anyone else but standing above Minoru left him with an idea of how that might feel. All he needed to do was pin him down and then Fumikage could wrap the given capture tape around their temporary enemies and win them their round.

He brought the spear down and felt it come into contact with something squishy. His first thought was that he might have accidentally struck Minoru and hurt him, but the second he looked, he saw his spear had been diverted by one of Minoru’s hair balls and stuck to the floor beside him. Who knew the little pervert had such fast reflexes?

With a snarky grin, Minoru jumped to his feet and rushed past. Akuriru released his hold on his spear, but must’ve lost most of his concentration, causing the tattoo to think that it was done with its current task and forcing itself back to its original spot. The unconcentrated return hit him like a bat to the back of his leg as he went down from the temporary pain.

Minoru used the situation to his full advantage, until Tsuyu’s voice called out for Fumikage. Akuriru would have felt sorry for Minoru because of their team’s technical disadvantage with having someone on their team that had a quirk that allowed him to use a physical manifestation that served as a second person, but All Might had decided that his role would be chosen through randomly drawing a team’s assigned letter, which had ended up with Akuriru joining an already three-person team. With how he had let Minoru slip past him, he was certain that both Fumikage and Tsuyu regretted being forced to team up with him.

Fumikage and Dark Shadow wasted no time in capturing Minoru, spinning around him like a snail waiting for an opportunity to strike. Tsuyu already had Momo wrapped in tape against the wall, taking care of Minoru less than a minute later. He couldn’t deny that she and Fumikage made a pretty good team. He would have smiled, had he not nearly cost them their victory.

***

Because Izuku had been injured during his and Ochaco’s match against Katsuki and Tenya, Akuriru was assigned as her replacement partner for the reverse situation exercise. Since Ochaco had already played the hero and Akuriru was the odd one out, they were assigned the villain roles against Mina Ashido and Yuga Aoyama.

Ochaco had the idea that she’d levitate the supposed threat outside the building’s window whilst Akuriru focused on trying to restrain their classmates. He wanted to point out to her why he wasn’t the best choice for defending her, but seeing the excitement in her eyes, he couldn’t bring himself to do so, so he had agreed.

At least they weren’t up against Fumikage and Tsuyu. He didn’t feel up to looking them in the eye, especially not after Tsuyu had been kind enough to tell him not to worry over Minoru slipping past him. It might not have been such a big deal during a training exercise, but if the situation had been real… he didn’t want to think about it.

He must have zoned out, because the moment Ochaco patted his shoulder, Akuriru had nearly launched himself into the air out of fright.

“Hey, are you okay?” she asked, her face showing the same concern her voice portrayed. An expression he had seen so rarely that he almost didn’t know how to respond to it. They weren’t that much different in terms of height, his own reaching more to Katsuki’s height, if only a centimetre shorter.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Sorry. I was just, uh, thinking about how to stop Ashido and Aoyama when they get here,” Akuriru said, attempting his best chuckle in his current nervous state. She must’ve bought it, because a second later she gave him the same confident, reassuring smile she gave Izuku when the two of them were teamed up. He only hoped that he would be as good as a partner to her as Izuku had been.

“Oh, well that’s good! Try not to worry about it so much, okay? We can do it if we work together!”

Her energetic attitude was near enough to put him at ease enough to relax his shoulders. His quirk became painful when he was stressed. She must have guessed, or at least asked Momo, when she heard he’d be her replacement partner. The two of them didn’t know everything about each other’s quirks, but he knew she became nauseous when using her quirk too much, and she probably knew his became painful to control if he lost concentration. Luckily for both of them, they knew Yuga got a stomach ache from his, so at most he would probably attempt to use it three times, meaning Mina would be their main attacker.

He had only seen Mina use her quirk once or twice, not nearly enough times to try and find its weakness. They were at a clear disadvantage against her. that didn’t mean that he didn’t wish Ochaco could use her quirk on their opponents instead, but he understood her reasoning for protecting their objective first. If they could defeat their opponents or keep the object out of their reach until the time ran out, then they would win. He didn’t plan on letting down her like he had done with his previous teammates.

[wittygaypuns]

ke prompt - v/e take a dance class

In which they are both very bad at taking instruction when they can be flirting instead? 

»»»««« »»»««« »»»««« »»»««« »»»««« »»»««« »»»«««

“Do we really have to do this?” Oksana muttered, arms folded over her chest as they stood before the building.

“Yes, we do. Can you please just cooperate?” Eve rolled her eyes at the younger woman, looking to her. “Come on, you already agreed to this. No take backs!”

“I don't want to. I hate dancing.” She insisted, looking away from her lover.

“You don't want to, yet that's what you wore? Oksana, you look like the fucking dancing girl emoji.” Eve protested.

“Just because you choose to downplay your natural beauty doesn't mean I will. Besides, I'll be in a dress when we need to actually do this. You should have worn a dress too since you'll be in a dress for it, because someone needed to have a proper ceremony and couldn't just go to the courthouse with me...” Oksana grumbled, turning her body away from Eve now. Just to be a pain.

“Do you really want to explain to Goldie and Jeanie that they can't give you away anymore because you couldn't be bothered to have a ceremony?” Eve said.

“... Don't you dare use them against me, you monster.” Oksana spun to look at her, flowing red dress catching just enough air to billow dramatically. Her resolve had crumbled immediately, though, at the idea of disappointing the couple that had practically adopted the two of them upon their arrival to Alaska. Goldie and Jeanie were a pair of old lesbian homesteaders who raised sled dogs and had taught them more in a year about life on the frontier than they would have ever known otherwise. They were especially charmed by young, pretty, motherless Oksana, who didn't need to be taught proper gun handling but had almost lopped her own foot off the first time she attempted to cut firewood.

“I can call Goldie right now. I'll tell her you won't learn to dance properly with me for our special day.” Eve threatened, going into her purse to fish for her phone.

“Gah! Stop it!” Oksana whined, wrapping her arms around her and pouting down at her. “Fine, I'll take the stupid lesson. Kiss me. For strength.”

Eve rolled her eyes again, but couldn't stop the fond smile from painting itself in her every facial feature. Oksana was still so wild and ridiculous, even since she had dropped her alias and former life for a more quiet life in rural Alaska. They lived in a little cabin an hour and a half north of Anchorage and everything about it was perfect to them. She leaned up to kiss her, arms going up to wrap around her shoulders. She pulled away when she felt Oksana's hands dropping down to grab her ass, giving her shoulder a gentle shove.

“Cut it out, you perv.” She laughed, cheeks going pink as she squirmed from her arms.

“I can't help it. You wore leggings. Your ass looks so good.” Oksana wiggled her brows, grinning.

“Come on. We're going to be late. And you'd better behave yourself while we're in there.” Eve told her, wiggling a finger at her. Oksana grabbed her digit, kissing the tip of it.

“I never behave.” She let her finger go to take her hand instead, walking with her into the building. It was a recreation center more than anything, but the class being held there had drawn in a number of couples looking to hone their skills for their weddings. The couples were largely young, white, male-female couples aside from them, but it didn't matter. They had found that most people in Alaska, while they didn't expect the pair to be to be an actual couple, did not care. No one had ever given them any trouble. Today was no different; there were a few glances in their direction, but no one let the looks linger, focusing on their partners as the instructor looked around.

“Okay, I think that's everyone... Are we ready to begin?” The instructor smiled to his gathered couples, waiting for their attention. “Now – the first thing we'll be doing is learning positions. Men, bring your right hands to the lady's left shoulderblade, like so...”

The man blinked as Eve and Oksana gave him a blank stare.

“Ah – well – whoever is leading will take this position. Maybe the taller...” He trailed off. Oksana was the height of feminine beauty and significantly taller, while Eve was shorter and dressed in leggings and a flannel shirt. He was clearly puzzled as to who would lead in this scenario.

“You lead. I want to make my nemesis angry by you being the butch one at our wedding.” Oksana smirked down to Eve, shifting into position.

“Can you not refer to my mother as your nemesis?” Eve muttered, half listening to the instructor as he continued on.

“She is my nemesis. I can't wait to show her how gay I made you.” Oksana grinned, also half listening.

“Oh my god. Please don't say things like that at the wedding. And she's not your nemesis, I know you two adore each other. I've seen her facetiming you when you two think I'm not home, giggling and drinking tea together.” Eve returned.

“You know nothing. Know thine enemy, I'm gathering intel on her in case I need to take her down someday. Besides, I'm trying to get a better idea of what I'm in for when you get older.” Oksana said dismissively, smirking as the instructor continued.

“We're going to do an underarm turn, switching spaces, like so...” The man said, demonstrating to the class how to properly turn one's dance partner in a way that looked natural and smooth.

Eve and Oksana had no such luck – the height difference made it hard to get Oksana's arm over her head, and she had to lean up awkwardly to do so.

“Maybe we don't do that one at the wedding.” Oksana mumbled.

“Yeah, probably for the best. Wait, what do you mean about getting a better idea of what you're in for, huh?” She pulled Oksana back in closer. Much closer than necessary for the instruction they were being given, but it was more comfortable to them both.

“You know. Like, what you'll look like. And lemme say, it's a good forecast.” Oksana gave a devilish grin. “Your mama aged really well.”

“Oksana, please. I am begging you not to hit on my mom. I know you like 'em older, but she's in her eighties, I don't think she could handle it.” Eve groaned softly, dropping her head to Oksana's shoulder.

“I won't, I won't. I'm just saying.” She wolf whistled after the last bit.

“Stop it, you're going to get us in trouble with the instructor. And you're going to get in trouble with me if you keep talking about my mom that way.” She glared up at her as they swayed, Oksana's hand sliding up to hold her shoulder; it was quickly becoming more of an embrace and less of a formal dance.

“Sorry baby.” Oksana smirked, closing her eyes as they swayed.

The rest of the class had begun to melt away from their perception, the instructors words becoming more and more distant as they whispered to one another. Now and then they would attempt one of the moves, but it would be a little clumsy and they would both laugh about it. At one point, Eve surprised Oksana with a dip, executed precisely, and smirked down to her. Oksana's eyes had gone wide, and she had held on only just barely, trusting Eve not to drop her.

“Holy shit that was hot. Can we leave now? I think we should leave.” Oksana mumbled, cheeks flushing a little. It was an almost imperceptible flush, but Eve knew her down to the molecule. Lifting her back up, Eve nodded a little, looking around.

“... Yeah, we can just watch a YouTube video or something.” Eve took her hand.

Together, they fled wordlessly from the rec center and headed back home to their idyllic little cabin, where Eve had every intention of getting her  intended out of that dress.

[theeeveetamer]

Takumi is a Bottom: A Scholarly Analysis

Okay so let me tell you a story. Back in 2016 when Leokumi was fresh and new I had what I thought would be a common opinion: Takumi is obviously the bottom, right?

Well, not so. At the time there were few E rated fanfictions, and a fair number of them depicted Takumi as a switch, if not a top. Honestly, I could not for the life of me figure out why? I couldn’t put words to it, but he just looks like a bottom to me. It has gotten to the point where I, as an avid fanfiction writer, cannot imagine writing a story in which Takumi is a top.

So now, a humble three years later, I think I have finally figured out why my brain has subconsciously clung to this notion for so long. And I demonstrate my point with the most powerful tool of all: Shittily edited pictures of my OTP.

In this blog post I will demonstrate a number of factors that have led to the implicit association between Takumi and bottoming. Namely, the inherent and implied femininity in his design.

Pretty good looking boys right? But I’ve never really looked at them side by side like this, until I was attempting to justify my Kliff-is-their-illicit-lovechild headcanon. Now, just right off the bat I notice a few key things:

1) The Neck

Holy shit, Leo’s neck is like twice the width of Takumi’s. It’s kind of hard to tell under that wide scarf, but Takumi actually has a very thin, delicate looking neck. This trait is normally associated with a more feminine appearance, because women tend to have different sized neck muscles (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17706225).

You can also see on Leo’s neck that there is a rather prominent Adam’s apple, which, again, is a more masculine trait. Takumi’s voice has already dropped so we can assume he has one too: it is just covered by his scarf.

2) Height

Fairly self-explanatory. The average Asian man tends to be shorter than their average Caucasian counterparts, so this is more likely due to their different nationalities. I based this on the closest approximation of where I think they’re from -- In modern day Italy average male height is about 5′9″, and in Japan it is 5′7″ (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_average_human_height_worldwide)

And yes I just dropped a wikipedia link as my source. I’m not being graded so fuck it.

Obviously this isn’t an inherently feminine trait, and these pictures probably aren’t exactly 1:1 in scale, BUT it cannot be denied that height is also associated with masculinity. Leo is obviously taller, therefore he appears more masculine in comparison to the casual observer.

3) The Shoulder:Hip Ratio

It’s fairly obvious from the picture that Leo has much broader shoulders than Takumi, another hyper-masculine trait (I mean look at that. THE SCREEN CANNOT EVEN CONTAIN HIS SHOULDERS!)

Attractive men also tend to have a certain “V” shape to their torso, something Leo also clearly displays (https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/full/10.1098/rspb.2017.1819).

Takumi, here, is at a bit of a disadvantage. As a fit male, he likely has a similarly shaped torso to Leo. This is where Takumi’s clothing comes in. Leo has very fitted, slimming armor, which shows off the disparity between his hip and shoulder width quite nicely. Takumi is bogged down with lots of fabric and furs: the most relevant piece of which is the thick fur wrap around his hips.

That fur wrap makes his hips appear much wider than they actually are. This gives him more of straight-line from shoulders to hips, a trait normally associated with women. Again, this is similar to the Adam’s apple. Although we know it exists, because we cannot see it our brain tends to disregard that information.

And, since he has an apparent ratio similar to a woman, this is how my brain has filled in his body shape:

More of an hourglass to match the secondary female sexual characteristics.

One of our greatest psychological tools, as human beings, is the use of schemas. A schema is, essentially, an implicit assumption that we make in order to categorize things with relatively little information. We would probably be dead as a species if we couldn’t do this because in a life or death situation we cannot process every piece of information. Correcting said assumptions after they have already been made is much more difficult (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schema_(psychology).

That’s right, I linked a Wikipedia article again. All of my professors are having simultaneous heart attacks.

Think about it: You see a short person with a narrow neck, wide hips, long hair, and an hourglass figure. Automatic assumption? Woman, right?

Now imagine that person turns around and it’s a man. Your brain is going to go into shock for a hot second while it tries to reconcile these two observations.

At a glance, Takumi has many feminine traits that our brains are hardwired to categorize as female.

In conclusion: Whether by design or by accident Intsys has designed Takumi to be outwardly effeminate. This, combined with schemas associated with sex characteristics, has led to the implicit association between Takumi and femininity. As femininity has been (sexistly, I might add) associated with the submissive partner, there is an inherent bias toward viewing him as the submissive sexual partner in the Leokumi relationship.

And no, I cannot fucking believe I spent this much time on this either.

TL;DR: Intsys drew Takumi like a woman and everyone’s brain is sexist.

Disclaimer: This is not meant to touch on the issues of stereotyping in the gay community. I mean, they’re obviously related, but I’m not trying to justify or support assholes who shit on gay people or perpetuate the dumb effeminate stereotype. We can, will, and do regularly and actively combat schemas, but the first step is being aware of them. I just think it’s interesting (and a little horrifying) that I’ve had this assumption running in the background for three years based on this small set of character design decisions without my noticing.

[monstaxnight]

Which one of them would like to date a tall girl? Or taller than them?

I know you didn’tspecifically ask for a MTL, but I’ll do one because it’s interesting.

Most

Hyungwon:I honestly think that Hyungwon’s ideal type, both in terms ofpersonality and looks, will be someone pretty similar to himself. Isee him with a model type girl; tall, statuesque and (in the streets,at least) quite poised. He’d love that people saw them as this ultravisual couple; out for a coffee date or a shopping spree in theirlong designer coats that accentuated their height and figures. Isorta see him as a leg man, too.

I.M:Changkyun, to me at least, seems like the kind of guy whowouldn’t give a shit if his girlfriend was the same height as him ortaller. I think he’s very showy with his partners; he’d want toshowcase how sexy/beautiful she is to the entire world. ‘look atmy girl, isn’t she so goddamn hot?’ I also bet he wouldn’t mindtoo much if she overshadowed him physically or personality wise in apublic setting, either. He’d watch her and marvel at her.

Shownu:Being tall himself, he wouldn’t mind a girl on the taller side ofaverage. She’d absolutely still have to be a bit shorter than himwhen she wore heels, though. He would still need to be the physicallydominant partner, feeling like he could still big spoon like a bossand smother her when they cuddle.

Minhyuk:I really don’t think Minhyuk would care too much either way, but I dothink he’d prefer a girl shorter than him. Minhyuk is quiteimage-centric in terms of his approach to styles and aesthetics, andI think he’d want that kind of traditional male/female height dynamicbecause he knows it typically looks cuter to outside eyes. He’d wantthe coordinating outfits he eventually made his s/o to wear to lookas pleasing and balanced as possible.

Wonho:I’m pretty sure he’d be mostattracted to people a little shorter than him. Not too much shorter,but short enough that he can kiss their forehead when they bear hugor bend his head down to kiss their neck. But considering what he’ssaid about his type, it’s possible that even if they’re seven foottall he’d be into them if the ramyun was on point.

Jooheon:I can’t be the only one who’slike totally sure that Jooheon’s type is a curvy little mama, right?He wants that kind of height difference where he has to bend his headdown to kiss her and she has to reach up. It’d make him feelprotective and manly, especially if he frequently had to do thingsfor her like reach to a top shelf. Even better if he could playfullylift her so she could reach it herself and then tease her for beingsuch a short-ass.

Kihyun:It’s not that I think Kihyun would want a bigger height difference inhis relationship than Jooheon, because I don’t. It’s that I thinkthat Kihyun is the member who’d be most ardently against datingsomeone tall/taller than him. He’s such a proud and dominant person,I just can’t see him ever wanting to be with a girl taller than him.I bet he’s already annoyed at being the “small man” of the groupenough.

Least

[adifferentllove]

Get to know me and my tc

i love writing about him. if you make it through all of this, i admire you!! 

1. Your name. (Or nickname that you use on Tumblr)

my name’s lea

2. Age/Gender/Sexual Orientation. (Feel free to specify pronouns so we know how to identify our new friends!)

i’m 16, female, bisexual

3. Year of education. (Ex. Sophomore in high school or college, Year 11)

year 12

4. Teacher’s name(s). (Or Tumblr nickname for privacy purposes.)

i’ll call him mr l

5. Their age/gender/Sexual Orientation.

he’s 34, male, i don’t know his sexual orientation for sure but he is married to a woman (rip)

6. What subject do they teach?

music and music technology. these are my only two subjects and he is also my tutor...  so i see him like all day every day which is a blessing

7. How long have you known them?

not very long, about 2 months since this school year started. i moved

8. When did you develop a crush on them?

it came rather slowly but i think 2 weeks after i met him

9. Do you see them outside of school?

no i don’t really but we sometimes stay in the studio and jam or play pool. always with other people as well though

10. Do you have their cell number, private email or address?

i weirdly have him on spotify. he told me he was listening to coldplay a lot since i recommended them to him and he said he made a playlist and i went “yes i saw it!” he looked a bit stunned but now he follows me back. there’s something really personal about seeing what he listens to

11. Do they have kids? Are any of them older than you?

he does have two kids, a son who is 5 and a daughter who is 1. they’re adorable but you know..

12. Tell us what they look like!

 he has blonde short hair and expressive eyes. they’re always shining, he is always happy. i wouldn’t say he’s chubby but de definitely doesn’t have a six pack. i love that though, very huggable..

13. Are they taller, shorter or the same height as you?

he’s a comfortable height, a bit taller than me and i’m 5′6″. i love our height difference.

14. Is he/she athletic?

i know he goes to the gym but he hates it! cute. he’s not very athletic but he is definitely strong

15. Do you know where they went to college? (Don’t feel pressured to specify if that makes you feel uncomfortable!)

i have no idea.. but i know he grew up in a tiny village!

16. Is he/she married, divorced, single, in a relationship, etc.

married.. sad times

17. Do you know their favorite color?

i don’t know but i can imagine it to be yellow maybe. cause he’s so cheerful and caring, always asking if you’re okay and trying to cheer you up if you’re not. he is generous and funny.

18. What’s your favorite outfit you’ve ever seen them wear?

he wears a suit everyday, and it looks amazing. today i saw him in a blue shirt without his jacket on, which he usually wears. that must be the best outift ever. he looked so good, i could see his strong arms and his chest. thank u god for creating shirts.

19. Tell us about something that happened with your tc, it can be good, bad, or embarrassing!

i once sent him an email when i was drunk that i wanted to die.. long story

20. Are you in love? How do you know?

i honestly don’t know. but i think it’s the closest i’ve ever been to being in love.

21. Are you sexually or romantically attracted to them?

romantically mainly. i want to hug him. kiss him, talk to him for hours, cuddle with him while listening to good music

22. What is your ideal partner? (Ex. Dark hair, green eyes, tall, etc.)

i feel like personality and aura makes a person. i don’t mind any hair or eye colour, i don’t like men with very long men though. i myself am a very introverted and shy person. i think the glass is half empty. someone like him who is naturally cheerful and positive gives me so much strength and peace. i dislike overly happy or fake happy people though. 

23. Tell us your favorite food!

pasta, no question

24. Night owl or early bird?

neither. i like being alone so 2am is a perfect time for me. but then again walking around empty streets at 6am is also very relaxing. i usually sleep too much though

25. Are you a lefty or righty? How about your TC?

i’m right handed. so is he

26. Does he shave? Do you prefer him with or without facial hair.

he does have a bit of a stumble. i once saw a picture on his facebook of him without a beard and i was horrified!! he looked like a 20 year old lol. i defo prefer the beard

27. Describe their laugh.

his whole face lights up, it’s not very loud but so so nice. i love seeing him laugh. you can see him beaming and it gives me hope

28. Have you ever flirted with them? Do they flirt back?

not really. i’m too shy. once we talked about selfies though, i said i didn’t like taking pictures of myself really and he said he does it all the time and i just went “yeah but you look good” it was a bit awkward to be honest. but i think he was flattered.

29. Do you think they know about your crush?

no idea. i’m clingy and i talk to him a lot and i write him emails. he might notice the reason for me annoying him at all times

30. Have you told him/her about your crush openly? What was their reaction?

pretty sure that’s never gonna happen

31. What’s your favorite book? And/or TV show?

i don’t really have a favorite book. i like sherlock, american horror story and rick and morty

32. Are you currently in a relationship with someone else? Do they know about your tc?

single asf and propbably too mentally unstable

33. Tell us anything else we need to know! What sports you play, activities you’re involved in, other things you like that didn’t fit a question, ya know. Bond with the other tcers out there! :)

i love music, anything music related and i’m the one to ask. i play the piano and the guitar. i love rock, indie, alternative, old rock, psychodelia, acoustic, pop rock... also classical music. 

also a sad story, i’m an exchange student and i’m only in england for 10 months. i’m already tearing up at the thought of leaving him.

[silversilence14]

MCSM: Immortal’s Child

Chapter 8 : Through the Woods

"You didn't exactly explain why you were up in the spider's nest?" Petra asked.

Steve was kneeled at her feet. "Didn't have time I suppose."

True to his words, Steve had led Lukas and Petra out of the spider's lair. It was a relief to be out of the foggy nightmare. Once they broke out of the dead ravine, the forest opened up into large quiet redwoods. There had been a cave on the other side, where the weakening rapids joined the rest of the river down a straight and calm path.

Jesse would have come through here.

Steve made them stop shortly after escaping the nest, despite their objections. He checked to make sure Lukas hadn't been poisoned, but the blonde merely suffered scrapes and bruises. Steve had quickly put some antiseptic on his arrow wound and gave Lukas a bandage to patch with. He now kneeled on mossy ground, reinforcing Petra's wrapped foot with splint.

"I was down here fishing," Steve explained, "When a spider stole my fish and my pole. I chased into the nest, but that big guy back there beat me to it. I was waiting for it to go back into its cave for a nap, when your friend over here came tumbling in."

Petra noticed Lukas flush.

"Did you seriously not know that was a nest? The Perpes River has been their home for centuries."

Petra twisted her fingers into the grass, "We've...never been here before."

"So you said you were from the other side of Adamans?"

Lukas froze, and Petra hesitated.

Clearly suspicious by their lack of answer, but very patient all the same; Steve jabbed his head, "The mountain range?"

"Yes." Petra quickly replied.

"Interesting, what brings you over here?" he finished his work and leaned back on his heels.

"Um-"

"Adventure," Lukas cut in, "To explore the unknown."

Steve let out a soft smile, for a moment there was a longing look in his eyes. "I guess I can't blame you there. But you need to be careful, you're down a person, and you both could have been seriously hurt."

"We got lost," Petra replied, "These woods got us all turned around."

"Well, we'll find your friend; we'll get you all rested and patched up. Then I'll get you in the right direction home."

I wish, Petra thought.

Steve stood, brushing dirt and moss off of his pants. "Ready?"

Petra and Lukas nodded eager to get back on the move in their search for Jesse.

Steve whistled a sharp high pitch note. It echoed through the woods, vibrating off of the tall trees. Just as it faded a large horse trotted into the clearing, followed by a second.

"Up we go!"

Petra stared at the horse. Like the spider from earlier, it was massive compared to the ones Petra was used to seeing.

"I think something ate your horses," Lukas stated equally dumfounded..

Steve snorted, "They're Clydesdales. They're supposed to be big. Meet Gaea and Titan. Gaea will be your ride," He turned to Petra, "Can you get up with your foot?"

Petra stood, "Of course." She hoisted herself up, only to get half way, "Or maybe not."

Lukas shoved her up the rest of the way, before Petra had to pull him up herself. She looked to Steve, the male adjusting the packs on the back of his horse. Clearly the other had been using Titan for the pack horse on his little hunting trip. He moved some bags aside, and tied his fishing bag on.

"Can you get on?" Petra asked.

Steve hooked one foot on the saddle, and easily swung up, "Of course," he replied. He moved Titan in front of Gaea, grabbing her reins and holding them tight.

"Don't trust us with the driving?" Lukas asked.

" We need to go fast, and I know these woods a bit better than you don't you think?" Steve made a funny click with his teeth and the horse immediately broke into a gallop. Steve only held onto Gaea's reins for about a hundred feet, then let go. The female continued following her male partner like a shadow.

The ride was exhilarating and intense. Steve rode the horses through tight curves, high jumps, low trees. The Clydesdales stayed true in all of their footing. Not even pausing or slowing down to turn and adjust. Titan leapt over a creeper at one point, not even alarmed by the creature.

Lukas was holding on tightly to Petra's waste, breath hitching with each dangerous move. Petra herself was gripping Gaea's mane. Only Steve remained calm and sure atop the enormous mounts.

I guess if anyone trusted these horses, he would. Petra concluded.

She felt only felt slightly uncomfortable following Steve through the woods. Something about him put her at relative ease. This was saying a lot, considering Brine had sent them into a death trap. Brine had been old, nothing too intimidating about him, save for his sword. But why had he pointed to the nest?

"Oh sweet creepers tell me we're close," Lukas suddenly, pulling her from her thoughts.

From the corner of her eye she saw a hoard of zombies, the horses bolting by without even the slightest hesitation. One zombie was even unfortunate enough to end up underneath the powerful legs of the beasts, and still they moved on.

"Steve!" Petra called.

He glanced back, the motion making Petra a little uneasy since he no longer was watching where he was going,"What is it?"

"Are we close?!"

Steve ducked a low hanging branch, leaving Petra to wonder how he knew it was coming, "The monsters are getting thicker now."

"Is that a yes?" Lukas called over Petra's shoulder.

Steve nodded, and turned once again forward.

With the fall weather making daytime shorter, sunset was already close, it would soon be dark. Monsters would grow in number in the shadows. The chances of Jesse surviving a second night, much less the rest of the day were slim.

The horses burst into a clearing, and skidded to a stop by the muddy banks of the river. They had lost sight of it shortly after they had taken off, but there is was again. Orange sunlight glittered off the calm waters. Most of the water still moved slowly down the river ways. But a small amount slopped down, making a large pool.

The watering hole.

Steve was already off Titan, walking slowly along the banks.

"I don't see him," Lukas whispered.

Petra didn't reply, just kept her eyes on the waters. There was no Jesse on the banks. But the water was deep and dark at the bottom...

"Steve!"

Steve didn't respond, he kneeled in the mud, inspecting the markings in the ground. "Someone was here." he stated after a moment.

Panic flared in Petra's chest.

"Was?!" Lukas asked, fear dripping in his voice.

Steve nodded, "A few hours ago." he moved farther inland.

Petra was about to get off the horse, "What if he is in the water!"

"He's not," Steve replied, "Just stay on Gaea."

"We're not going to sit on a horse while Jesse is-"

"Jesse isn't here."

"Where is he?!" Lukas panicked.

"Someone else came through here a few hours ago as well," Steve replied, his voice even and calm. "They probably found him."

"Where would they go?! He could be anywhere!"

Steve climbed back on Titan. "There is only one village near here, if anyone took Jesse, they'd take him there." He stirred Titan forward, Gaea following after automatically. "Don't worry we'll find him."

Petra started to say something, but her mouth clamped shut.

"Petra we can't do this," Lukas hissed in her ear, "He's probably leading us on a wild goose chase. If Steve had been truly fishing earlier, like he claimed, he would have seen Jesse don't you think. He's wasting our time. Jesse has to be here somewhere."

"I really think he's trying to help."

"The last guy sent us into spider's nest. Steve's probably some psychopath who lives in his isolated cabin in the middle of nowhere."

Petra frowned, "I don't think so, besides, "She looked down, the horse was already going full gallop, "Do you think jumping off is the smartest thing to do right now?"

Lukas said nothing, and adjusted his grip around Petra's waist.

The village was fairly decent in size. Most of the primitive villages Lukas had seen so far on this never ending journey home had been quaint, if not insecure. The one however was not.

Resting on a rolling hill, the village was built upon layers. All along the town's paths were watchtowers of various height and width. A stone wall circled the village, going not only around the houses themselves, but the multitude of garden's and out building's as well. There was a town hall, a library, blacksmith and what looked like a school. Even at the edge of town there was a race track and a large amphitheater built into the hill-side.

It was one of a kind.

Also the first one Lukas had seen where most of the locals were armed. Most of the men carried swords, and there were archers in the towers as well as guards at the cities gates. To top of security, there were at least a dozen golems within the town, Lukas spotted at least eight or nine more in the farmer's district, the silent stone behemoths walking between rows of corn and wheat.

Secure indeed.

Seeing Steve actually take them to a village and not some desolate cabin in the woods gave Lukas a little relief.

But it was brief.

Steve pulled the horses to a stop in what Lukas assumed - was the blacksmith. "Bach!"

A large thick man exited the building. Easily taller than Steve. He was bald, but sported a thick black beard and mustache, growing all the way down to the middle of his chest. His dark tan face and exposed arms were dirtied with grim and sweat. Burn scars littered his arms, and another on his left jaw, disappearing under his beard. He was different from other blacksmiths Lukas had seen, there was nothing small and humble about this man.

Bach was the definition of scary.

"Steve!" Bach grinned broadly, "Back from the river already? I assumed you'd be up there for a few more days at most. Was the fishing that good?" His smile dropped when he spotted Lukas and Petra, "What happened? Who are they?"

Steve unhook his bag of fish from his saddle and threw it effortlessly towards the blacksmith, who caught it with the same amount of ease, "I'm afraid there was a mishap, has anyone been to the watering hole lately?"

"No why-"

"Our friend fell in the river, he's wounded," Petra blurted, not stopping as Bach looked to her with a hardened stare, "Steve said someone might have found him at the watering hole."

Bach's eyes softened at the explanation, he turned back to Steve, "I'm sorry my friend, but this time of year only you and the Healer go to the pond."

Steve cursed.

Lukas swallowed thickly, his heart pounding hard against his chest. Jesse wasn't here then. He was probably back-

"Bach? Who is that?"

Bach looked back into his shop, "It's Steve luv, he's run into a bit of trouble."

A woman exited the building, cleaner than her male counterpart. Her much paler face was covered in a fine sheen of sweat, a sprig of dill in her dark brown hair. In her hand she carried a large wooden ladle, large enough to bludgeon. She was pregnant, easily five months or so along. But the tender glow of future motherhood did not mask her confident and strong posture.

"Mariah," Bach explained, "His little friend's here lost their mate in the river. Steve thinks he washed up in the pond.

Mariah raised an eyebrow, her cloudy grey eyes immediately filled with worry, "Did they now?" She looked at Steve, "You were wondering if anyone has seen him?"

Steve nodded.

"Aye, I told them no one has been up to the pond for a few weeks now,"

"What does he-" Mariah grabbed her husband's arm, "Bach wait. The Healer."

Steve leaned in, "Was she there?"

"I went to see her early this morning," Mariah replied, "Picking up a potion for my morning sickness. She was very busy cleaning up a young lad. Awful mess he was. Poisoned by an archer she said."

"Jesse!" Lukas and Petra cried.

Steve was already turning the horses, "Bach, Mariah, I owe you."

"You know you owe us nothing!" Bach called as they rode away, "Good luck young ones!"

Petra looked slowly around as the horses came to a stop.

Much to her dismay, this healer, didn't live within the city limits; instead choosing to live about a quarter of a mile out of town. Then to her greater dismay - and her fear - this was the nothing like a hospital.

It was a farmhouse.

Which Steve had the keys too apparently? He was already off the horse and walking up the porch steps.

Petra waited for Lukas to get off their ride- which he almost twisted his own ankle in the process of doing - before she made her descent. Lukas aided her as she moved down the saddle.

Her feet stepped down on mossy, cushy, thick grass, Lukas immediately moved closer to her and there he remained.

"You don't need to stand there like scarecrows you know." the older male called from the wraparound porch.

Lukas had a hand in Petra's, tightening in discomfort. Neither moved.

Steve huffed, "Okay, wait here then." He added, "Can't say I blame you."

Petra watched for a moment as Steve fiddled with the lock, and then slowly looked around the property.

The farm looked harmless enough, large multi-story house. There was a hanging swing on the porch, and multiple cushioned chairs. There was an equally large garden to the left, and blooming flower beds. Animal's pens not far off to the right, each well stocked with feed and barns for the animals. Even sunflowers grew along the vine covered stone wall that lined the property.

Certainly not any obvious sign of danger.

Right?

"Lukas…."

"I'll follow you." The blonde whispered.

Petra nodded and moved forward, her team mate right behind.

They were almost on the porch when Steve finally got the door open, "I really got to fix that lock." He smiled at the pair, "Welcome to my home."

Petra paused, "I thought this was the healer's home."

"It is, and well, it's mine to."

"Does that mean..."

Steve nodded as he walked in; "I am a married ma-" Steve froze.

"Steve?" Lukas asked. "What's wr-"

"ALEX!" The older male's sudden shout startle Petra, confused as he raced into the dim house.

Lukas tapped her shoulder and pointed. Following his finger she spotted the apparent source of Steve's distress. It was shattered glass, glittering in thousands of tiny pieces on the dark oak floor.

"ALEX! Answer me!" To see someone - who had handled a monstrous spider with unnatural calm earlier - look so stressed, was unnerving. Steve was hurrying towards a closed door on the other side of the wide room, "Alex where-" The door opened at that moment.

"Steve what is it-" A carrot top ginger female flew out of the room, oddly enough with a letter opener in hand. She collided with Steve her forehead connecting to his jaw.

Both let out a cry, more from surprise then pain, and tumbled to the floor in a mess of arms and legs.

It was done and over so quickly that Lukas and Petra had barely time to react.

"Um, what just happened?" Lukas said.

The pair quickly began to untangle themselves, grunting and groaning as they went.

"Damn it Steve!"

"Why yell at me? You're the one who didn't answer me! Why in the world are you wielding the letter opener?!"

"You're the one who was screaming for me, I thought you were hurt! I thought something was wrong and I didn't have time to exactly arm myself did I?"

Steve was the first to stand, rubbing his tender jaw, "Understandable, but a letter opener? I mean, really sweetie?"

"Don't sweetie me." Alex stood, dusting herself off, "Who are your friends?"

"Lukas and Petra," Steve said, "I'm gonna cut to the chase here. They got lost in the woods and one of their team mates was hurt and fell in the river. I thought he might have washed up in the watering hole, but there was no one there. Mariah said you had a patient and I was hoping-"

"Alex are you okay?"

Petra's eyes widened. That voice...

Steve made a startled glance towards the door which Alex had exited from moments before, "Who was that?"

"My patient," Alex replied, "His name is-"

"Jesse!" Petra cried.

Lukas and Petra raced by the pair, hardly pausing to squeeze through the door way.

Inside the quaint and well furnished room, Jesse sat propped up in a thick bed. Bandages wrapped the majority of his chest and there were a few scrapes and bruises around his face and arms. But the most important bit, he was alive.

Jesse stared wide eyed, "Guys? How did you-"

"You're okay!" Petra rushed to the bed, "We thought we lost you when you fell in the river!"

"I was poisoned-"

"We know!" Lukas cut in, joining Petra by the bed, "We've been searching all day for you!"

Jesse raised an eyebrow, "How did you find me?"

"Well we followed the river first, and then we ran into -"

" I'm glad this worked out,"

Lukas and Petra turned, to see Steve at the door, one arm wrapped around his wife. He winked at Alex, "Glad you went to the watering hole today,"

Alex shook her head, "I can't imagine how you missed him Steve."

"His friend's say he fell in during the storm," Steve explained, "I wasn't by the river during that." He smiled brightly, "I take it you're Jesse?"

"And you must be Alex's husband, Steve," Jesse replied.

"That I am. Pleased to meet you, shame it was under such stressful times."

"We met Steve by the spider's nest," Lukas started.

"Spider's nest!" Jesse sputtered.

Alex gave Steve a look, "You took them through the crevice?!"

"No, I found them there." Steve replied, "Look, I tell you about it and you tell me about the broken glass." He paused, "And what in Notch's beard happened to your nose." He tapped his wife's nose.

The female exchanged glances with Jesse, who in turn blushed horribly, "It's almost ironic really. But-" She tugged her partner's arm, "I tell you later. Why don't we clean up the kitchen and get dinner for everyone and let these three catch up?"

Steve nodded, "Sounds good, Lukas, Petra," he smiled at the pair, "We'll be out here if you need anything."

And with that, Steve and Alex closed the door behind them.

Petra returned her attention to Jesse, smiling brightly, "I'm just so glad you're okay."

"I'm glad to see you guys," Jesse replied, "But what about you? You look awful, and what's this about a spider's nest?"

Lukas let out a disgusted noise, "Well after we lost you we ran into the woods. Then got attacked by some monster, I was shot- no poison don't worry - and Petra twisted her leg. We followed the river, which led to this gorge between the mountains. It was full of spiders, big ones."

"Okay?"

"No seriously, big ones. We are talking the size of a small house big. One almost ate me."

Jesse's eyes widen slightly.

"Then Steve showed up and just," Petra shrugged, "Killed it."

"Killed it?"

"He didn't even break a sweat Jesse."

Jesse looked towards the door, eyes full of curiosity, "From what I gathered from Alex, Steve is the main hunter for their village; it wouldn't surprise me. But spider's as big as a house? That seems farfetched."

"We're serious; this world is different from the others we've been to." Lukas pressed.

"Speaking of different worlds," Petra said her voice dropping into a whisper. "What have you told Alex?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well Lukas and I haven't told Steve about the portal." Petra explained, " AS fasr as he's concerned, the three of us are from beyond the mountain range."

"The one past the volcano?"

"Yes. What have you told Alex?"

"Nothing so far," Jesse answered. "She's curious but-"

Suddenly the door opened and Steve and Alex walked in. "Who's hungry?" Steve asked, "It's been a long weekend for everyone don't you think?" Alex herself was carrying a large tray filled to the brim of various meats and other delicious food items. It smelled absolutely perfect.

Petra felt her stomach rumble, she glanced at Jesse who gave her an encouraging nod. "Thank you," she said as she took a plate.

"Thank you so much for finding Jesse," Lukas said as he took a plate.

"Gladly," Alex replied, she handed a bowl of stew to Jesse. "Sorry dear, until your stomach settles it's stew for you."

Jesse still took the bowl, "I'm not complaining."

Lukas and Petra remained on the bed as Steve and Alex took the two chairs across the room. Petra hardly paused a second to cool her food she was so hungry. The food tasted as good as it smelled, the meat nearly melting in her mouth.

"So," Steve said as he settled into his chair, he took a small bite of food and smiled at the now complete trio, "What brings you three through the Portal of Worlds?"

[puptart-nation]

Hi, I miss MySpace-era styled surveys. Here’s a 167 question one.

Ready? Set...Go!

1. Last beverage: water

2. Last phone call: Hmm, my partner, I suppose.

3. Last song you listened to: “Overprotected - Darkchild Remix” - Britney Spears, Rodney Jerkins

4. Last time you cried: Earlier today, actually.

5. Have you dated someone twice: No. I don’t “believe” in this [for myself].

6. Have you ever been cheated on: Yes.

7. Kissed someone & regretted it: Uh, I’ll go with no.

8. Have you lost someone special: Yes. Both to death and growth.

9. What are your three favorite colors: Gold. Red. Purple. But in reality...I love all of those that I have the ability to see, honestly.

10. Met someone who changed you in the past month: Regularly.

11. Kissed anyone on your friends list: Not on my current accounts. Yet at least.

12. How many kids do you want: Physically, I’d like to have one (1) successful birth in my lifetime. However, I’m open to having more kids than this (e.g. adoption, kids that I “consider my own,” etc.)

13. Do you want any pets: I’d be open to the possibility of more! I would like a snake.

14. Do you want to change your name: Not specifically(?).

15. What did you do for your last birthday: Not to sound all 

16. What time did you wake up today: Oh! I’m not sure at all.

17. Name something you CANNOT wait for: E A S Y. To finally start camming!!! (I have so many ideas but I haven’t gotten to explore Chaturbate or ManyVids “properly” yet) and Animal Crossing: New Horizons!

18. Last time you saw your mother: Pretty recently; thank you, fall/winter holiday season.

19. Most visited webpage: I’ve been all over the place lately. Saying Google feels like cheating...but probably Google.

20. Nicknames: Puptart is my nickname.

21. Relationship status: Partnered but available (shout out ethical non-monogamy/polyamory that started that way and wasn’t an ‘evolution’ or development from a blatant breech of relationship boundaries).

22. Zodiac sign: Scorpio sun,  Aries moon, Aquarius rising.

23. Male or female: Gender and sex are entirely and largely, respectively, social constructs.

24. Height: ~5′5.″

25. Do you have a crush on someone: I have a crush on anyone who shares part(s) of their authentic self with me.

26. Piercings: Ears (one each), navel, and my septum. 

27. Tattoos: None. I’m conceptually interested. 

28. Strong or Weak: In what domains?

FIRSTS

29. First surgery: [upcoming] wisdom teeth.

30. First best friend: [REDACTED]

31. First sport you joined: Gymnastics.

32. First vacation: Canada.

33. First school: [REDACTED]

34. First pair of trainers: So no British English spelling but British English slang...all right. Anyway...I’ve no clue, mate.

WHICH IS BETTER

35. Lips or eyes: My lips and eyes are amongst my favourite features personally. The eyes are more functional though so there’s that(?).

36. Hugs or kisses: From whom? I love context...perhaps too much.

37. Shorter or taller: I would personally got for being taller.

38. Older or younger: OH, this is [looks ahead at upcoming questions]---okay, okay, I get the energy. Anyway, despite my skittish interest in older men, older doesn’t happen too often.

39. Romantic or spontaneous: These aren’t mutually exclusive so...uh... [refrains from further interaction].

40. Sensitive or loud: Loud! 

41. Hook-up or relationship: Depends what is correct for the circumstance.

42. Shy or outgoing: I mean...socially well-adjusted with the ability to read the environment is ideal.

HAVE YOU EVER

43. Kissed a stranger: Yes.

44. Gotten a speeding ticket: Thankfully, no.

45. Lost glasses/contacts: Yes, but not for an extended period of time.

46. Sex on first date: I’m not morally or ethically opposed to this, but I personally haven’t.

47. Broken someone's heart: I mean...I guess.

48. Been arrested: Negative.

49. Have you turned someone down: Yeah.

50. Fallen for a friend: Non-romantically, all of the time. Romantically...more so in youthier youth, but falling in love was very different then. 

51. Moved out of town: Yep.

BELIEVE IN

52. Miracles: I feel like my answer would be lengthy and semantic in nature.

53. Love at first sight: Technically, no. Untechnically, yes.

54. Heaven: Yes, I’ve seen NIN live a few times.

55. Santa Claus: ...[thinking about MySpace bulletins]. But no.

56. Kiss on the first date: I’d hope to hope so. But sometimes the time isn’t right.

57. Angels: I’m literally...right...here.

58. Yourself: More and more. We out here.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY

59. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: Hell yeah (See earlier answer mentioning ethical non-monogamy/polyamory)(Just kidding, don’t go back looking for it, we’ve come so far).

60. Been in love with someone you couldn't be with?: Actually...Not really. Or maybe technically yes? I didn’t want to be with them myself so that started and ended before it started.

61. Ever cheated on somebody: This is actually complicated to answer and involves trauma/blatant sexual assault/group manipulation and peer pressure. 

62. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: I imagine I would not.

63. Are you afraid of falling in love: Not in the slightest.

64. Was your last relationship a mistake? I don’t believe any relationship is a mistake.

65. Do you miss your last relationship? Not at all. Or...in any way that lasts more than 15 minutes. Fifteen minutes even feels generous. I do maintain fond memories.

66. Who did you last say “I love you” to? My partner, my dog, or my own reflection.

67. Have you ever been depressed? Yes and clinically at that.

68. Are you insecure? I would not describe myself as being an insecure person, but I still have a wealth of insecurities. 

69. How do you want to die? Peacefully. Natural/old age. In my sleep at the same time as my partner after a particularly sweet emphasis about our journey together and we just somehow die just...at functionally the exact same time. -OR- similar to Mufasa but a stampede of happy dogs (whose nails have been trimmed and I am also in protective gear that shields from physical trauma I would not want to experience despite the ultimate expressed desire for death-by-dog-stampede).

70. Do you bite your nails? Not since childhood.

71. When was your last physical fight? A forreal fight? Never.

72. Do you have an attitude? As far as what this means, not usually.

73. Twirl or cut your spaghetti? A mixture of both? I’m just...doing...something.

74. Do you tan a lot? I bronze. Not actively because I care about UV.

75. Ever eaten food in a car while someone or you are driving? Yeah.

76. Ever made out in a bathroom? In a home, yes.

77. Would you take any of your exes back? Absolutely not.

78. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? For what and what are the risk factors in the hypothetical?

79. What are your plans for this weekend? Wedding!

80. Do you type fast? Define fast.

81. Can you spell well? [non-committal handshake] I don’t have data for what true average is.

82: What are you craving right now? A more comfortable position.

83. Have you ever been on a horse? Not truthfully.

84. Would you live with someone without marrying them? I have.

85. What’s irritating you right now? I’ve had a cough for some weeks now.

86. Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts? Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. All yes. Not in a (TRUTHFULLY) good while though.

87. Does somebody love you? A lot of somebodies do. I’m incredibly lucky.

88. Have you ever changed clothes in a car? Yes.

89. Milk chocolate or white chocolate? Milk.

90. Do you have trust issues? Only when there is a valid Truth Issue.

91. Longest relationship? With myself.

92: Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you? I hope not, but I’m aware that they must at times.

93. Have you ever walked outside in your PJs? Yeah.

94. Do you believe everything happens for a reason? In a literal sense, yes. Beyond that...I can’t remove the literal sense from my awareness.

95. Did you have dream last night? I don’t recall it now, but I believe so.

96. Have you ever been out of state? Which state? ... (Yes).

97. Do you play the Wii? Wow, Wii. It’s been a minute.

98. Do you like Chinese food? December 25th Classic.

99. Are you afraid of the dark? Not of the darkness itself.

100. Is cheating ever okay? Events where I would say “yes,” I believe the contract of an equal/balanced relationship has been breached so I don’t think those events count. So outside of those things, no.

101. What year has been your best? This one.

102. Do you believe in true love? I mean...I don’t feel love is something to ‘believe in’ in this sense.

103. Favorite weather? Sunny, but the UV index is chill and breezy.

104. Do you like the snow? Does it like me back?

105. Do you like the outside? Depends on the side out.

106. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? A literal boy/girl/child would be weird.

107. Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight? Weird if not.

108. What makes you happy? A wealth of things.

109. Ever been to Alaska? Not at present.

110. Ever been to Hawaii? “”

111. Do you watch the news? Not if I can help it.

112. Do you love MTV? I forgot MTV was a thing on real TV.

113. Do you like Subway? Ambivalent.

114 Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? Not at all.

115. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? As they should, am I right?

116. Why did you decide to do this quiz? Self-indulgence.

117. Have you ever seen someone you knew and purposely avoided them? Yes, although I usually enjoy the idea of confrontation.

118. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? “Yes. Why act unlike yourself. You meant the word "friend" as really a friend, right?” --- the person who responded before me because I don’t have the energy to ultimately paraphrase what they said and they said it pretty well.

119. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? [whines about sex and gender]

120. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? A friend.

121. Ever bought condoms? Yes.

122. Ever gotten pregnant? No.

123. Have you ever slipped on ice? I’ve fallen whilst ice skating, if you wish to count that.

124 Have you ever missed the bus? I don’t miss grade school. Yes. ALSO HEY. Just realised I had a nightmare about this some nights ago.

125. Have you left the house without money? I was an infant once, yes.

126. Have you ever smoked cigarettes? Socially. I’ve never purchased my own pack before.

127. Have you ever smoked a cigar? Yes! I enjoyed it a lot actually.

128. Did you ever drink alcohol? Yes.

129. Did you ever watch “The Breakfast Club”? Yes, but not very well.

130. Have you ever been overweight? No

131. Ever been to a wedding? A fair amount, yes.

132. Ever been in a wedding? Several with another upcoming quite soon!

133. Have you ever been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Hard yes.

134. Did you ever watch TV for 5 hours straight? I watch King of the Hill as if I would die without it, yes.

135. Ever kissed in the rain? Yes.

136. Did you ever shower with someone else? Yes.

137. Did you ever fail a driver’s test? No.

138. Ever been outside your home country? Yes.

139. Ever been on a road trip longer than 5 hours? I’ve driven for 11 hours straight before!

140. Ever been to a professional sports game? Yes. A few. Hockey comes to mind the most. Then basketball.

141. Have you ever broken a bone? No(ne known).

142. Did you ever win a trophy in your life? Yes. But...not in a while...

143. Ever get engaged? Yes.

144. Have you ever been on a diet? No.

145. Have you ever been on TV? Not in a meaningful way.

146. Ever ridden in a taxi? Yes.

147. Ever been to prom? Yes.

148. Ever stayed up for 24 hours or more? Yes.

149 Have you ever been to a concert? Most important is Nine Inch Nails.

150. Have you ever had a crush on someone at work? Yes. I’ve had crushes on everyone everywhere.

151. Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes.

152. Ever had braces? Yes. #WorthTheWait lmao

153. Did you ever learn another language? I’ve studied several (3). Fluent in one (1).

154. Do you wear make-up? Infrequently.

155. Did you ever have your wisdom teeth taken out? Soon!

156. Did you ever kiss someone a different race than yourself? lmao yes.

157. Ever dyed your hair? Yes.

158. Did you ever wear someone else’s clothes? Yeah, I was a teenage girl once. Also...what? Haha.

159. Ever ridden in an ambulance? No.

160. Ever ridden in a helicopter? No.

161. Ever caught the stove on fire? I don’t believe so, but the microwave...yes.

162. Ever meet someone famous? Define famous and define meet.

163. Ever been on an airplane? Yes.

164. Ever been on a boat? Yes.

165. Ever broken something expensive? My brain.

166. Did you ever kiss someone before you were 14? Uh...no actually? As far as romantically.

167. Did you ever find something valuable on the ground? Cars and buildings, mostly.

[datingadviceonreddit]

…Now that I have your attention, I would like to offer some sincere advice to those who are currently in the situation that I had been during my 20’s. This advice is mostly targeted towards guys who are generally “good dudes” who just seem to be having trouble getting dates or have trouble talking to women. No PUA here, purely 100% USDA organic.My methodology is mostly based on anecdotal evidence because I believe 1. in the philosophy that “not everyone can be ‘x’, but anyone can be ‘x’, and 2. I find statistical research (while useful) can create negative biases and prejudices from the start which can make the already stressful task of finding dates overwhelming.Anyway, if you like what you read, I was thinking about expanding this into a 3 or 4 part series with advice on Tinder game, how to find dates using “forced” interaction, etc. if I get enough up votes :).About me: I’m an early 30’s single professional living in a metropolitan Midwest region. I have dated women of mostly all races/ethnicities, all different backgrounds and personalities. Why am I not tied down, maybe we can get to that in part 2 :)Here is a breakdown of how I view my personal/professional traits as they relate to attractiveness (both positive and negative). Note: this isn’t an exhaustive list but it gives you an idea of the reality of my situation. Some might say I have it better off, some might be glad they aren’t in my shoes. I’m going to try to be as honest as possible.White privilege traits (not to be controversial here, but these are the traits that I am “born into”, that I have no control in changing, that society has determined whether it’s a statistical advantage or disadvantage):*Height: 5’10 - neutral. 5’9 is the average American male height. Height is one of those biases that I despise because it’s so ingrained in society, so much so to the point where shorter men statistically make less salary than their taller counterparts (holding all else constant). This is mainly why I believe my height is neutral. Furthermore, I’ve been rejected by a good number of women who said I was too short. Go figure. That being said, there are plenty of women who aren’t concerned about height insecurity and more power to you! To note: I am indifferent to female height, I’ve dated women who were around 5ft to women who were 6’2 with no insecurities. Speaking out of my ass, I think 6ft is when height becomes a positive, and below 5’6 is when it starts becoming a negative, for men.*Ethnicity: East Asian – negative. Statistically speaking, Asian men (particularly South Asian men and black women) have the lowest odds of matches on OKC and other dating apps. Again, I have been rejected by women who had flat out told me to my face that they weren’t interested in dating Asian guys. At first I found this a bit racist, but I realized that, as with height, I can only play the cards I am dealt. So I don’t have the complete female gene pool to work with, but that’s fine.*Overall physical appearance – neutral. I don’t have a chiseled face and I can’t grow facial hair, but I still have a full head of hair so it balances out. Just very average.*Mild IBS – negative. Obviously.*Social introvert – neutral. I like to spend time alone because I just enjoy my own time. I don’t usually go out of my way to be social aka make extravagant plans, but I do enjoy the company of friends.Gray privilege traits (Hobbies/traits that I have some control over the outcome, that I do for the sake of personal enjoyment. These can have either positive or negative consequences in being attractive):*Gym on the regular – positive. I work out 3-4 times a week and unsurprisingly have an athletic physique. No six pack, no muscles on muscles, but I have a full chest and can fill out a shirt and pants well. In college, I used to work out to impress the ladies, but since then I realized two things: 1. working out only marginally improves overall attractiveness and 2. it’s more vital to work out for health benefits, especially now that I’m in my 30’s and my digestive system can’t break down the Big Macs and Miller High Life’s as thoroughly anymore.*Volunteer – positive. It’s important for me to interact with many different types of people and I find it fulfilling to be giving back to the community since my current job isn’t one of “nobility” (even though I do find satisfaction in my line of work). Volunteering just elicits so much perspective and positive energy both on how compassionate/humble people really are, and how some people just get dealt a bad hand due to no fault of their own.*Acid Reflux – negative. I am restricted on diet.*Good dancer – positive. I’ve enjoyed dancing since high school and while this is a huge plus when I go out to dancy type places or events, I am not ashamed to admit I hold one-man dance parties at my apartment.*Anxiety – negative. I suffer from high anxiety. I was not born with it, but it became an issue when I worked some high stress jobs. Also, I’m a general worry-wart.*Good paying job – positive. Independent of enjoying the job, paying bills/loans/saving money is a big stress reliever.*Fulfillment of job – neutral. I work in IT and enjoy what I do because I feel it has a positive impact in the world and I enjoy solving problems for customers and my company, but it’s not a “dream” job by any stretch of the means. I was able to pursue a couple dream jobs previously, but what they don’t tell you about some dream jobs is that there is a time limit on how long you can be in a that role before having to move on.Red privilege traits (Things I do to specifically appeal to the opposite sex/appear more attractive that I wouldn’t otherwise do)*Dress nicely and spend time and money on better aesthetically appealing clothes – some men do this because they are big into fashion or because they find this medium to show self expression. Not me. I dress nicely to impress women.*Live in a nicer apartment – the factors that are important to me when figuring out where to live are 1. cost relative to commute, 2. safety, 3. convenience of grocery stores, gym, bars, etc. That said, I probably could get away with paying less to live in a worse apartment where I wouldn’t have to sacrifice point 1, 2, and 3, but I choose to pay a premium for the “wow” factor of not only women, but also friends and family. It’s shallow but it’s really only my one “splurge” item as I don’t own any fancy watches or designer clothing or have memberships to exclusive clubs, or other expensive hobbies so that’s how I justify that.*More expensive haircut and wax my eyebrows.*Lotion, cologne, an extra shower per day.*Meticulousness on dating app and online dating picsSo now you have an idea of what I’m working with. I’d say it’s pretty average on the surface. I’m just a “regular” guy who doesn’t have anything splashy to offer. Yet, I am successful with getting dates and have no problem talking to women in areas of public domain including bars, restaurants, concerts, parties, just being out and about.So what’s my advice on increasing positive interactions with women you are looking to court? Simple: friends. Yes that’s it, friends.I was actually shocked that this concept wasn’t one of the top posts in this sub because out of all the advice I’ve seen (most of it is good advice), none of them touches upon the most basic level of what we already do on a day-to-day basis anyway.So why is having friends important? I mean this is a simple enough question right? Most of us have at least 1 friend, and if you’re lucky maybe more. So how can having friends help the dating life. Again, this is all anecdotal:My friends unintentionally (or intentionally when I ask) provide a good barometer of how attractive I am. Being around someone for a consistent period of time, I feel they know me the best and when I ask them serious questions, they will give me honest answers whether it be genuine compliments of my positive traits (that I usually take for granted), or constructive criticism of my negative ones (because of hubris or lack of awareness). My friends point out when I get flustered, or when I seem disinterested in something, or even when I have body odor/bad breath. Things that I might be projecting subconsciously without even knowing it, that will immediately make me appear unattractive in public, they can corral. Because at the end of the day, we are always changing, subtly, to the point where we might not even notice something, but our friends or family will.Interacting with friends makes me more interesting. Ever run into that situation when you’re on a date and you can’t think of something to talk about? It’s happened to me plenty of times and rather than defensive-mechanizing that my date is the one who is uninteresting, I realized I needed to be more interesting of a person. Not necessarily for the sake of keeping a date interested so much as “what the fuck am I doing with my life that I don’t have anything interesting to say”. I have a decent size circle of 5-10 friends who share a wide variety of interests and have different personalities. This is where I can find out what’s up with today’s current events, what movie they recommend I go see, what electronics they think are cool, how best to diversify my 401k, what’s a good show on Netflix. Point here is that, friends keep me up to date on things I might be unaware of because I’m sitting at home being out of the loop. That said, I’m really only passionate about a few things, but I better be able to explain why I am passionate about those things and why you might could be interested too.Coworkers, clients, partners, and vendors are also great too. Because the interaction here is somewhat “forced” yet organic. Dealing with hostile clients, or Baby Boomer vendors, or hip coworkers further helps me to gauge how my interactions are going. Your friends are your friends, but handling a difficult client/coworker has given me a leg up in situations where I had to interact with women in not the most comfortable situations.Friends introduced me to other people who became my friends. And so my friend circle grew big enough (5-15) people to where in any given year, some would have birthday parties, or house parties, or Super Bowl watch parties, or NYE parties where there would be more people who I would have an opportunity to interact with, already having the advantage of knowing the common friend (or in some cases the friend of the common friend).Good friends offer good peer pressure. They make plans to do stuff in public settings that I wouldn’t have gone out of my way to otherwise do. They keep my calendar filled with things to do. So much so, that I have to turn down events on occasion because I need a night off. And I’m not talking 5 days a week, I’m talking maybe 2-3 things a month on top of just regular hanging out. They have forced me to get out of my comfort zone.Ok, that’s enough of a list for now. I would also like to reiterate that I have anxiety issues and am a social introvert, so while I can be social, I usually prefer not to be any more than socializing with friends or professional in the work setting.What’s my secret to overcoming anxiety and introvertedness for me? Three things of similar vein:embrace the situation I’m in regardless of the things I can’t change. Some people have it easier than me, some people have it worse, though if I focus on what other people are doing, I can’t focus on improving me. One of my favorite songs is “The Best of What’s Around” by DMB because it just epitomizes this point. I have anxiety, IBS, and am introverted. I am aware of these things but I refuse to let them hold me back from becoming the person I want to be.Hold myself accountable to the things I can change (the gray and red privilege). I have no excuses here. If I choose to not improve either my personal fulfillment box or my attractiveness to women box, then I blame only myself and accept the consequences.Attitude. Attractiveness comes from confidence. Confidence comes from feeling good about yourself. Feeling good about yourself comes from enjoying the things you enjoy for the sake of personal fulfillment like hanging out with friends. When I’m rocking out to a energetic song or am looking forward to an upcoming vacation or dinner party with friends, I get into a good mood. When I’m in a good mood, my posture is improved, I walk and talk with confidence, and subconsciously project an aura of attractiveness. Random conversation flows smoother, wit is sharper, etc. And yes, women notice this to the Nth degree.I’m doing these things and it’s given me a lot of success attracting women, however, I don’t do these things because I am intentionally trying to attract women. It’s just a byproduct of having friends and having those friends unintentionally put me in situations to feel good about me and about life and hence points 1, 2, and 3.Anyway, this is my 2 cents on what works for me and I hope this gives hope to some of the people out there that feel like they are alone in this situation, or that something is too much to overcome. via /r/dating_advice