#that said gay disabled solidarity does mean a lot to me personally. but that’s a different thing lol

[comradekatara]

I've recently been thinking about how Zuko went on a field trip with 3/4 gaang members; do you think we were all robbed of a Toph and Zuko field trip? How do you think it would've gone?

no i don’t think we were “robbed” of a toph and zuko field trip, and the show even lampshades this fact in “sozin’s comet.” while toph and zuko do have a lot in common wrt their respective abusive upbringings, struggles with disability and gender identity/inhabitation, and accepting help from others/their own vulnerability as a product of that parental/systemic abuse, the fact of the matter is that zuko does not owe toph reparations, whether material or emotional. the most harm zuko ever causes toph is purely by accident, which is a fact they both immediately acknowledge. when zuko bonds with aang over their respective issues with firebending stemming from its use as a weapon/tool of imperialist conquest, with sokka over their respective daddy issues, or with katara over their respective mommy issues (if you’ll allow me to be reductive in both cases, considering i’ve already discussed both of these relationships at length in the past), zuko is specifically addressing what is not only a point of commonality that connects these characters, but a matter that zuko must directly make amends for (he was the first person to showcase to aang the destructive power of firebending, he burned down suki’s village and forsook his own father figure in ba sing se, he exploited katara’s grief regarding her mother on multiple occasions). while it would certainly be nice to see toph and zuko bond more and connect over their shared traumas, there is no thematic impetus demanding a plot-relevant episode dedicated to their escapades. i do actually have many ideas regarding toph and zuko’s developing friendship, but it is a pet peeve of mine that people act like seeing our favorite characters be put in adorable situations is in fact necessary to a narrative even if it is thematically irrelevant. i also think that a lot of people clamor for a toph & zuko friendship when similar dynamics with far more basis in canon, such as katara & zuko, aang & zuko, or toph & sokka, which are all richly textured relationships that bear deep thematic significance within the text, are overlooked. toph & zuko do admittedly have an interesting dynamic, but there arrives a certain point where it’s just like. what do you want me to say about this relationship that is not said better by other, deeper relationships within the text.

[aroacechillzone]

We Must Fight in Unison

This post is for the March 2021 Carnival of Aros which is about “Intersectionality and Inclusivity Within the Aromantic Community.” 

2020 didn’t give us much, but it did give many people, myself including, a lot of time to think. Many people used this time to learn more about themselves, including questioning their gender and orientation. Questioning gender in particular is quite common because gender is enforced by society. When you remove that pressure it’s much easier to start analyzing how you truly feel.

I’ve been identifying as aroace for about two and half years now. Even before that, I always had the sense that something about me was different from everybody else. But whenever I showed any kind of disdain for romance or romantic media, I was met with a “you’ll get it when you get older.” After a while though, those words started to wear off. Once I heard of the words aromantic and asexual, it took me maybe two weeks at max to start identifying with them. Since then, I’ve never questioned my orientation. I have no reason to and I likely never will. Even though my aroace-ness was easy to figure out, my gender isn’t. For the longest time I identified as cisgender because there was always this voice in my head that said, “you’re a girl.” I had a few meaningless thoughts about questioning my gender, but I never seriously considered them until December of last year. I’m still not entirely sure what my gender actually is. The chances are pretty high that I’m just a cis woman, but something about that doesn’t entirely seem right sometimes. I’ve toyed with the idea of genderfluid as well but I’m not sure if it’s my actual gender or my attitude about gender that changes. One day, I’ll figure it out. But quarantine not only made me question my gender, it also made me question my political beliefs. The older I’ve gotten, the further and further left I have shifted from the moderate Democrat base my parents rose me in. I’d say two events were the keys that shifted me from being a liberal to being a leftist: the death of George Floyd and the 2020 election. The outcry from the first made me really start to examine the mainstream narrative and my own racism as a white person. The second was when I lost faith in the general perception of American idealism liberals and conservatives alike. All of these pushed me off the “Overton window” of acceptable political beliefs into leftism. 

Currently, I identify as socialist. It’s a good catch-all label that sums up my political beliefs quite well. Capitalism always has and always will be a system that requires the exploitation of others in order to function. It creates and upholds discrimination based on race, class, orientation, gender, neurodivergency, and disability. The ultimate “goal” of capitalism is for the white, rich, neurotypical and able-bodied cishet men to be able to exploit the rest of society that does not fit any one of those definitions. This includes us a-spec people. We’re certainly not straight but we’re certainly not gay either. Many people say that we don’t experience “real” discrimination or experience it “less” than other groups. I always hated this narrative because firstly the discrimination we experience doesn’t change anything about our identities but also it kinda dismisses it what we do experience? Like yeah, I probably won’t get killed for being a-spec, but that doesn’t mean my struggles are any less important than any other allo queer person. Along with anticapitalism, one of my other core beliefs is solidarity. So many people in the queer community are so intent on driving wedges between in our to determine who is The Enemy™ who is using x identity to do bad thing xyz. I’ve said it on this blog before but all of this gatekeeping only benefits the very people we’re trying to fight against. If we divvy ourselves up like this we have no chance of achieving true equality and liberation. We only stand a chance if we unite. This isn’t just the case among queer folks, but all marginalized members of society. We have to collaborate and support BIPOC, the poor, disabled and neurodivergent people so we can all fight back together.  Taking it back to aromanticism, I find it absolutely wonderful that AUREA is taking more efforts to include aros of marginalized identities. As I’m writing this after the original roundup was posted, I enjoyed reading everyone’s thoughts on this topic. As a white, able-bodied and neurotypical person I still have a lot to learn and unlearn. I am and will continue to be the best ally that I can be. It’s time to stop letting our ignorance divide us.