#that was proven to be fake tho wasn’t it

[moonsaurora]

i havent watched the doc but it’s all over my fyp so i know everything…and good lord. brian peck’s charges are actually INSANE. 16 months is not enough that mfer needs to be locked up for LIFE. that’s the least he deserves

[destinyh3art]

Daemon & Viserys + Aemond & Aegon | daylight

Ahh! Finally someone made a edit with this song along with these characters! Cause they are the most 'you and i drink poison from the same vine' core.

I don't like viserys or daemon but one thing i liked about them was how their love for each other was genuine. Especially from daemon's side. Like it has built the very foundation of his character. Their parents died early deaths, so for daemon viserys must have been this elder figure he depended on. Even his relationship with rhaenyra feels like an extension of his relationship with viserys. A way to get closer to his brother, get his validation by getting closer to the person viserys loves the most, the person daemon wishes he was. And like aemond, he has this mask on as well to not show any weakness which we see finally break off when he finally grieves for his brother after the visions. Because that is the only thing he truly cares about in this damned war, the thing that is the most important to him is his brother who has now died. And daemon will never see him again. It is such a poignant end to his harrenhal arc which i loved btw.

And the same goes for viserys too because for all of daemon's flaws, his chaotic nature, his violence, viserys couldn’t help but call his brother back to him. There were times he couldn’t trust him but he still loved him all the same. 'The blood of the dragon runs thick. Then why do you cut me so deeply?' this line will forever get me.

As for aegon and aemond, wow can't be sure with them because of the hotd's unpredictable writers. Because in season 1, it felt like they could stand as an united front against others(blacks here) despite their clear distaste for each other which comes from aemond's side mostly as he can't tolerate aegon being a useless bum and still getting everything that aemond thinks he deserves. But did not think that he would be willing to kill aegon for that. I think the thought came abruptly tho cause aegon wasn’t supposed to be in rook's rest(in the show atleast). Whether or not he would feel guilt for it, can't say cause he has created this cold, uncaring persona for himself which we know is fake cause he definitely feel things even if he is vicious(as proven by the brothel scenes). And if he could feel guilty for killing lucerys then yea its possible he could feel guilty for aegon too but we will never see him express that(or might in his harrenhal arc hehe. I hope burnt aegon haunts his bitchy ass).

I also don't think he will harm aegon anymore or have any interactions after this season cause aemond will go off to harrenhal soon. But gosh i loved that scene when aemond tenderly kisses aegon's forehead. It was a subtle threat to say nothing cause he knows aegon remembers and is now scared of him, but also it felt like he was saying, 'see? I can love you like this. Under my thumb, crippled. As long as your existence doesn’t challenge what i feel like i am owed, i will love you. So do what is expected of you. Nothing. Let me handle everything.' It’s like a toxic parallel to viserys and daemon which is more tragic cause aegon wholeheartedly trusted him. Deep down inside i do believe aemond does love aegon but it is overshadowed by his contempt for his brother's unsavory characteristics and his unwillingness to perform his duties and not because of the bullying cause that was something aegon did as kids but couldn’t really do as adults cause let's be honest aemond can go way brutal(small council scene). And that brothel scene must have been after so long( i don’t think aegon bullied aemond after that driftmark incident and luke and jace, his partners in crime were away at dragonstone too) and as the actors said, an indirect reproach for Jaehaerys's death. Aemond's love just comes out in a more fucked up way like in that scene when he visited aegon. The way he was gentle but cruel. As if he knows aegon wants validation and will eat it up from his hands no matter how he gives it. But he also wants him subdued so he can have power. I do kinda like this dynamic ngl and gosh i will miss their interactions.

Having both aegond and visaemon scenes in ep 6 was such a good parallel to each other.

[mariailoveyou-guerin]

Anthony Bridgerton will never change because not him saying it’s rather sudden like he did with Marina too😂 Colin saying he’s known her all his life my heart my kid I’m legit gonna jump off my window don’t stop me if it wasn’t for the fact I haven’t seen part2 I wouldn’t stop myself either! Pen saying she’s loved Colin always plzz

everyday I go to sleep beautifully knowing in few days Colin Bridgerton gonna know that the one person that matter most to him (not his fam)has loved him all her life almost it’s what he deserves especially since he changed to fit into society bc he thinks he’s not lovable after everything he’s gone through and my heart is so happy and filled with so much love for him and them! !

I got my Francesca being so overjoyed and happy and hugging Colin tightly my ❤️I’m getting my favs being real siblings unlike Eloise always been a horrible sister and friend and still proven that point how are you not happy for your own brother but then again I get her tho in this one situation but still she could’ve hugged him and said congratulations been a good sister and been happy for him just this one even faked it bc she been faking not knowing who LW is for months now so why couldn’t she just fake a smile and happiness for Colin on his big announcement and moments typical Eloise doing Eloise things aka thinking of herself first always!

He’s real sisters Hyacinth Frannie was overjoyed and his mother was beaming for him so who cares if he’s annoying selfish sister didn’t congratulate him or be happy for him for once it’s like with the book he got she could’ve just taken it and said thanks but Eloise has to always be Eloise could’ve faked a smile and thank you since he thought of her wand what she’ll like and gifted that to her but nah so ungrateful I’m glad he has real sisters Hay/Fran and real brothers like Benedict Greg

[6ad6ro]

so i've recently been using aliexpress. like testing them out to see if i could trust alibaba like ebay or amazon etc etc etc. ali prices are v cheap but it’s flooded with bootlegs and “fake products” that make even ebay look legit. tho if that’s what you’re going for, it seems awesome. it isn’t. you can’t actually trust em. they have their “money back guarantee” policy plastered all over the site, but it’s actually shit. it’s a lie, really. all they do is “step in” to try and create an understanding between you and the seller. but they won’t do shit in the end. i recently had a seller ship me a bootleg figure with “we guarantee it will not arrive broken” and “if DOES show up broken, don’t fear because just send us a photo and we will refund” multiple times in different ways plastered all over their page. it showed up broken and disfigured with paint marks and discoloration all over. so i did as they said, and they were like “we will refund. we can offer you $3″. lol yeah because “refund” on a $25 order somehow means $3? it’s a scam. they worded it that way to make buyers trust them. when i created a dispute, back when i was still foolish enough to think ali’s buyer back guarantee meant something, the seller asked for a return instead. i said no unless they paid shipping (shipping is soooo crazy to china rn it’d be more than what i originally paid”. they said “ok we’ll pay shipping” and i was like “fine” because i figured all my bases were covered and clicked “accept resolution”. then a few minutes later it hit me... what if their return shipping policy is fucked up? bc on their page it says they send you a return label. but they wouldn’t with me. they were like “ok send it through whoever you want and send us tracking when you’re done and we’ll request the buyer sends you a refund. you have three days”. whattt the fuck. so you really expect me to take even MORE risk? seller is a proven liar. you want me to throw more good money at bad? then i’ll be out the item (it’s broken but still), the money, AND the return shipping. but ali support was happily like “don’t worry if they screw you we’ll give you store credit for the return shipping!!!” all happily like it wasn’t the stupidest thing they’d ever said. i was like “yeah no that doesn’t work for me” and they were like “ok we’ll find a solution. please be patient and we’ll get back to you usually within 24 hours”. i was patient. no email. their 3 day limit lapsed and their system said “refund cancelled seller didnt ship item”. so i contacted support again. same response. bot-like language and fake smiles and just horseshit. promised an email within 24 hours. no email. i tried to write a bad review to warn people about the seller. lol funny thing, i get an “error” no matter what browser i use etc. so after trying to redo the review in dif ways, i finally tried leaving bad review with good stars and WOW SUDDENLY IT WORKS. like lol seriously DO NOT use aliexpress or alibaba etc if you can avoid it. a bunch of scam artist shitheads. btw seller is ANIME JUMPING TOY Store ( https://www.aliexpress.com/store/1101664122?spm=a2g0o.order_list.order_list_main.2.21ef18022EABPw ).

[humanoidtyphoons]

like i wondered, y’know? now that yggdrasil knew about them the whole time and i knew the truth this time around. whether the hints would be obvious or not, and. i think. i’d still be on the fence about it if i wasn’t blindsided by the utter betrayal of kratos, bc genis and raine have both been proven to be v. intelligent and know more than anyone else, so i wondered if half-elves were always kind of superior to everyone.

and sure, i think he planted himself in ozette to meet the group, but -- him actually being in the centre of it all? witnessing the harm and damage that he caused? i don’t think he meant to stay with them for that long tbqh???

his remorse rings true? that shock, that internal conflict? i think there was still good in mithos when we meet him as mithos, even tho his rage is v. prominent, when he says fiercely humans killed my sister so i can never forgive them, you understand my feelings right, genis?

but. godddddd. the hope i have that he can be swayed and redeemed? despite knowing what’s to happen? that he sincerely likes genis and wished him to be safe and gave him his sister’s last remaining keepsake as a good luck charm????

i don’t think he expected that he would care about the group so much. he latched onto genis (maybe would have latched onto raine had raine not ditched everybody) especially bc of their similarites and fast friendship

and it’s just. it’s sad!!!! i’m sad for this character!!! he has taken my heart!!!!! i honestly expected to be mad at him bc i thought he was playing everyone for fools but no???? i don’t think he meant to get so attached to them????? it doesn’t feel like he’s faking his affection???? his worry????

and i am. such. a sucker for that trope, platonic, romantic, otherwise.

[gay-dorito-dust]

Asexual reader x jason todd or alternatively a quiet sensitive shy reader who has anxiety…. Or just all of that together :3 also, when people write a shy anxious reader they tend to make them book nerds, and I like books but I haven’t read many so I wouldn’t say I’m a book worm, so… maybe not a huge book worm reader :3 I’d like Jason to read to me tho :3 thank you! It’s cool that you’re ace too!

Kinda shitty ending, couldn’t think of anything good even for a fake book but enjoy I guess.

There were once a time where you did everything in your power to avoid the man they called Jason Todd. To you he was intimidating just by his sheer size alone with how he towered over you and automatically you assumed he was nothing more then a muscle headed, misogynistic dickhead who adheres to unhealthy masculine societal norms. He made your body go into into a fight or flight stance so that you could rush towards the nearest exit if the occasion if inklings of hostility were to ever to arise.

However these were be proven wrong later down the line where after helping you in making a doctors appointment after noting the tense body language, the almost robotic responses that he assumed you must’ve practiced in your head on more then one occasion before picking up the phone, feeling particularly confident in your abilities; Until you punched in the number that was before Jason decided to take over in order to elevate you of the pressure. It wasn’t until then that you began to see Jason for who he really was, now finding comfort in him then you did before and even found yourself staying close to his side whenever you went out late at night; being all too aware of how dangerous the streets of Gotham could get.

He was unbelievably patient with you whenever you backed out on outgoings mere moments before in favour of being in the comfort of your hastily built apartment, dressed in your favourite pair of sweatpants and hoodie; Jason would only follow your lead without a single complaint falling from his lips before changing out of his attire into something more comfortable before joining you on the couch afterwards claiming that he didn’t feel like going out anyways.

“Whatcha got there sweetheart?” Jason asked as he stepped into the apartment he found himself spending more and more time in, removing his jacket only to place it onto the back of a nearby chair as he stripped himself of his boots and gear before putting on a pair of drawstring sweats and a sleeveless hoodie from one of the drawers of your room that he always kept when he was too tired to make it back to his own place; thankful of the fact that your pace was within walking distance. “A book.” You stated from your place on the couch as though it was obvious, clutching the aforementioned book against your chest. It was a book recommended by a friend of yours who was an avid bookworm and considering how picky they were towards what they deem was worth reading, they held this particular one in the highest regards.

It wasn’t anything original nor astounding in terms of writing or premise but you guessed the pacing was something to take note of if you were a novice within the writing industry; other then that the story and characters were incredibly complex and had taken you on many false leads and dead ends that once you finish it the pieces would finally click in your head. “I can see that,” Jason’s voice brought you out from your internal review of the book to see him now sitting next to you on the couch, looking over your shoulder; using his fingers to push the book away from your chest to see the cover, “I just wanna see what could possibly take your attention away from me.” He teased lightly as he took advantage of your stunned silence in peeling the book away from your grasp so he could read the blurb.

“The accursed mirror is a fictional tale following the journey of a mercenary who’s soul is trapped within a mirror after an unfortunate death. It seems as though the mirror has more in mind for him as traumatic events of his past come back to haunt him.” He looked over at you before back to the book, already opening it to the first chapter, “mind if I read it aloud?” You didn’t say anything other then wordlessly make yourself comfortable against Jason’s side, head tucked in the junction between his shoulder and the underside of his jaw as his the hand not holding the book rested at your side; pulling you into his lap where his breath made the hairs on the back of your neck stand. It wasn’t intimate by any means but it was more or less out of a necessary need to be comforted, to be within safe hands even in the walls of your own home and Jason was the one you thrived comfort from.

Jason chuckled at this but didn’t add anything else other then kissing the top of your head before bringing his chin to rest against your head as he tucked you further into himself before beginning the first paragraph of the story. “Waking up within a mirror was the least of Gerald’s worries. It was how he got here that concerned him most. He wasn’t bleeding out on some nobleman’s floors as he was supposed to be looking into the eyes of the person who bested him at his own game as the life drained from his skin.” Jason’s voice was enriching the written literature that you found yourself in able to stay awake long enough for him to finish the page never-less chapter. So much so his words became muffled in your ears as you practically melted into his arms, eyes heavy with sleep while he continued, completely unaware of the sleeping person on his lap.

“Gerald once though he was bound for greatness but now that all seemed nothing more then a distant dream belonging to that of a child’s and he was no child…he hadn’t been in a long time.”

[megumis-lashes]

A Tokyo Revengers Halloween!

Headcanons for Halloween!! 👻🎃

An: happy Halloween!! I personally love Halloween so have some last minute tokyo rev headcannons! I was gonna write these earlier but it’s still Halloween where I am so!

Contains: mentions of fake blood, just like Halloween activities lol, gn reader, currently not edited/proof read cuz I wanna post on time, I’ll add the ‘read more’ thing later since I’m on mobile 👹

Characters: Mikey/Manjiro Sano, Chifuyu Matsuno, Kazutora Hanemiya, Keisuke Baji, Haitani brothers, Imaushi Wakasa

Mikey - Manjiro Sano

A literal menace to society

Gets away with the craziest things purely because it’s Halloween and his costume is cute

Will complain about the amount of candy different houses give out

Even as an adult he’ll still wanna do something for Halloween, like at least get candy for himself lmao

Not against matching costumes but will make you do most of the work for his costume if you do match

Even if you don’t match expect him to ask you for help with his costume or makeup/SFX ☠️

That one kid that counts all their candy at the end of the night and has intense trade offs with other kids

Either easily scared or completely unbothered by jump scares/ horror movies there’s no in between

Loves the classic horror movies, the cheesy/funny ones that are either Halloween comedy or just so badly done that they’re funny

Overall menace/10, very fun person to spend Halloween with but also very chaotic 🎃

Chifuyu Matsuno

When is he not a sweetheart

Will match costumes with you even if you ask extremely last notice, he’ll drop all his plans for you

Not too picky on Halloween activities, down to watch movies, get costumes, go trick or treating

Leans more towards the cute side of Halloween, likes the cats and stuff, not super up for realistic SFX or anything crazy

Will dress up Peke J (as proven by official art)

That one kid who was a cat for Halloween for like 10 years straight (this totally wasn’t me no what are you talking about)

Will share candy with you as long as it’s not one of his favorites

If you’re going out he’ll probably be the most attentive person there, he doesn’t want your night to become a horror movie lmao

The type to ask you to draw cat whiskers on his face last minute and then forget he was wearing makeup and smear it

Overall sweetheart/10, very nice experience, we love cats in this household

Kazutora Hanemiya

Younger Kazutora? Menace to society (maybe even more than Mikey)

Time skip Kazutora? Still a tiny bit of a menace ngl

Will try to casually scare you after watching horror movies or just randomly

The type that would steal your candy as kids, but then he might feel bad and give you some of his in return (only if he liked you tho)

Another that abuses the cat costume except he makes it different by being a tiger or something lol

His costume is his excuse for wearing the tackiest tiger print clothes

Either that or he’s a demon/devil (like in the official art) which is very fitting for how he acts

Not against matching costumes (especially in timeskip, he’d be much more willing then)

In timeskip he would rather stay in for Halloween and watch movies, carve pumpkins something like that instead of going out

If you somehow convince him to go out then simple costumes!

Do his makeup and hair for him and he’s sold, a sucker for having his hair played with/done by other people

Overall chaos/10 or the second sweetheart/10 depending on which Kazutora we’re talking about

Keisuke Baji

Another menace lmao

Will run around the whole time, not actually going to houses really, and then complain about not getting any candy

Goodluck getting him to plan his costume more than half an hour before leaving

Also don’t even try to do his makeup or hair, mans is incapable of sitting still and will severely mess you up

The type that gets insane sugar high but then passes out for 12 straight hours when it wears off

His official art is like a werewolf costume? But he would use whatever he had to make a costume lmao, it’s a bonus if it’s not complicated or he doesn’t have to wear a shirt

If he’s staying home, he’ll insist on buying like 3+ bags of candy for trick or treaters just for him to eat it all and get mad at kids that wanted some of it ☠️

If you go to a party or something like that then put a tracking device on this man. He will somehow manage to end up at entirely different party and just blend in perfectly

Another one that would try to scare you but go all out, faking his own death kinda shit, then he’ll laugh at you for half an hour straight

Overall catastrophe but fun/10, exhilarating experience but you may or may not remember 80% of it the next day

Ran Haitani

The type to take Halloween as an excuse to commit crime cuz ‘no one’s gonna know’

May or may not use real blood instead of fake blood for his costume

Seems like someone that would dress up as ‘himself’ at parties ☠️ and take it as a compliment if someone knew who he was lmfao

Other than that he would somewhat go all out on costumes, use fake blood and SFX

Might match costumes if you ask in advance but would choose the spooky route over the cute route

The type to ruthlessly scare little kids but then give them candy afterwards as payment lmao

Seems the type to put at least some effort into decorations, or will just commit a crime in front of his house and claim it’s fake

Doesn’t care that much for candy but is lowkey territorial over his favorites

Most likely to get tipsy or just all out drunk at a Halloween party and say something along the lines of ‘babe we should totally recreate this horror movie it would be great’

Pls tell him no

If he stays home then he will sort through the candy for his favorites before he hands any of it out

Will prank you and scare you constantly throughout October, you will not get a break until it’s practically Christmas lmao

Overall insane but kinda fun/10, beware the crimes that most likely will occur with this man

Rindou Haitani

Kind of a deadbeat ngl

It would take a bit of convincing to do anything for Halloween, let alone match costumes

If anything I could see him matching with his brother purely so that they both could get away with crimes ☠️

If he did any sort of costume it would have to be simple, something that requires minimal effort and no makeup or anything really

Uninfluenced by what you wear, the type to go to a Halloween party in normal clothes with you wearing a whole ass costume and just say that he’s a waiter or something for Halloween lol

Surprisingly good at carving pumpkins, great at detail work somehow

I feel like he has a huge sweet tooth but hides it shamefully lmao

If you find out about his sweet tooth then this man will steal your candy as punishment

The type to be home, and so obviously so, with lights on and stuff, and not answer the door for trick or treaters.

Might scare them away with a kitchen knife if he’s that bothered

If you manage to drag him to a party when he’s in a good mood, then he’ll play along with your costume a bit and probably tease you

Overall kinda lame but also can be fun/10, you just need to inspire this man ok

Imaushi Wakasa

Ok so mans has a sweet tooth and that’s why he likes Halloween

Will bully you to give him lollipops, if you refuse he will give you silent treatment for like 3 days

Once he’s past the stage of enjoying going out/ trick or treating/partying, his favorite Halloween activity is watching scary movies the whole day

It’s a lazy but wholesome activity, especially if they’re Halloween comedies or those old movies with effects so bad they’re funny

Will still buy candy though, even if you don’t get trick or treaters

Not one to decorate much but will get some pumpkins for ‘fall spirit’, he thinks they’re nice but he won’t be that up to carve them, it’s too much mess

If you convince him to go to a costume party then please do his make up

Has the prettiest lashes and can pull off practically anything he desired Istg

I feel like he secretly likes some of the Halloween tropes? Like the whole vampire, werewolf thing, stereotypical stuff like that

Would be a vampire maybe, it’s an easy costume but it never fails

Overall chill/10, nice to hang out with, even if you aren’t doing much

[retrievablememories]

picture me | johnny (m)

title: picture me pairing: vampire!johnny x black!reader genre: fantasy, romance, smut, fluff, angst summary: you meet a vampire-slash-photographer whose self-identity is increasingly lost to him, and you try to help him find some purpose again. word count: 18.3k warnings: age gap (cuz you know, vampires...but everyone is legal), mentions of discrimination/prejudice based on species, self-identity issues/self-deprecation, general angst, sheltered!reader, mentions of blood and drinking blood, oral sex (female and male receiving), fingering, thigh riding, loss of virginity, corruption kink, use of lube, unprotected sex (do not try at home), creampie, johnny is packing in this fic ok! a/n: today (the 28th) is my birthday, so i’m posting this 100% self-indulgent fic that i’ve been working on between requests since september. it was very hard to get johnny’s characterization right for this fic and idk if i actually succeeded but i’m not revising this for the 1000th time lol. i love this fic with my whole heart tho.

i haven’t seen many vampire fics that really explore the whole “doesn’t show up in mirrors/photos” concept (shout em out if you know em) and...there’s probably a reason for that, this shit is hard af to write and there are some logic issues but whatever 🤪

(the beginning quote is from “criminal,” stan taemin!!)

The moment I fall for you is the end of my innocence

—

He sits in the same coffee shop everyday, like it’s a habit he just can’t break. But who are you to judge? You’re there, too. Watching him like a creep. Or maybe like an interested coffee shop patron, trying to be discreet and failing at it.

He wasn’t hard to notice. You’d never been to this coffee shop before, but your friend recommended it to you mostly for their in-house-made pastries; she claimed the coffee was good, too, but she wasn’t much of a caffeine person. You decided to give it a try when you had time between classes and a moment to breathe, not needing to talk to this advisor or that professor.

You saw him immediately when you walked past the shop window. He was sitting at a table near the front, staring down at his phone with a small cup of coffee sitting in front of him. Its miniscule size was almost comical in contrast to his...everything. He was tall—that much was obvious even with him sitting down—and imposing, wearing all black. His hair was equally pitch-black, his bangs hanging to one side and the rest shaved in an undercut. If you didn’t know much better, you’d think you’d stepped back into 2007 and landed dead in the middle of the emo craze.

He was interesting to look at. Not in a bad way, but in a way you don’t see very often. Deciding to walk in before you made yourself look totally weird staring at him through the window, you’d stepped into the coffee shop, the small bell dinging above your head. A barista greeted you at your entrance. Out of the corner of your eye you saw the man, to your left, still looking at his phone.

You’d given your order and waited for it to be ready before taking it to a table on the other side of the shop. From that vantage point, you had a good view of the man. You tried to keep your eyes on your food and your phone, not wanting to spend the whole time looking at him, but it was a little hard not to.

When you took a bite of your pastry, you quickly discovered it was just as delicious as your friend promised—probably even more so. You made a noise of approval before you could catch yourself, and you glanced around the shop in embarrassment to see if anyone nearby noticed. Didn’t seem like it, at first. But then you glanced over to the man again only to find him looking at you below his eyelashes with a small, amused smile on his lips. He only kept his gaze on you for a second before returning to his phone.

What? You hadn’t thought you were that loud. How did he hear you from over there, and above the noise of the café? Even now, you remember how embarrassed you’d felt, ducking your head and looking away.

The man finished his coffee not long after that; he slipped his phone into his pocket and stood up. You glanced up only momentarily when he stood, but your eyes soon slid back to his form when you noticed something odd. On the wall behind him, there was a big oval mirror sitting pretty in its elaborate silver frame. He stood just a few feet in front of it, yet there was no reflection of him. The only thing you could see was the other side of the café reflected back, with another man sitting alone at a booth enjoying his own coffee. The tall man’s reflection was nowhere to be found.

That was when you figured he must be a vampire.

You’d never met one before. At least, you didn’t think you had until then.

Unbeknownst to you, vampires are notoriously able to blend in more easily than most other supernatural beings—until faced with situations like that one in the coffee shop. Ultimately, there’s no faking a reflection no matter how hard you try to remain inconspicuous.

The man had caught your eye again. Thinking back on it, you aren’t sure of what expression you had on your face or what it must’ve looked like to him. It must’ve been something akin to surprise, though; you weren’t quick enough to disguise your reaction at his lack of a reflection.

He gave you another smile, though it felt sadder than the previous one, and walked out of the store, the small bell on the door ringing at his departure. He disappeared down the street in a swirl of black fabric, almost like something out of a movie, and you watched him retreat until you could see him no more.

You scraped your index fingernail over the wood table your food was resting on, your mind whirring with all kinds of thoughts. Your interest was piqued. And yet there was no way for you to know if you’d see him again.

—

At least, that’s what you believed then. Luckily for you, your subsequent visits to the coffee shop have proven fruitful; the strange, tall vampire is there more often than not, always in the same spot in front of that same mirror. Sometimes he reads a book, other times he looks at his phone, and other times still, he stares out the window at the passersby.

He acknowledges you whenever he sees you, either with a nod or a smile. You’ve never spoken to each other, though you know what his voice sounds like from hearing him talk to the baristas. It’s a nice voice, rich and handsome like him, and you find yourself gradually wanting to hear it spoken in your direction. But you aren’t sure how to talk to him, or what you should say.

There’s a lot you want to know about him and his vampirism, but you don’t think it’s fair to bombard him with questions right after meeting him—if you could somehow work up the nerve for that first step.

When you were young, your parents made sure to keep you safely sheltered away from anyone who could potentially be a vampire or any other nonhuman being. This game kept up until you went to college, where they could no longer “shield” you. Because of their lifelong fear and disgust, your knowledge of nonhuman beings is scarce and mostly inaccurate.

The man’s skin isn’t deathly pale like you’ve heard others say vampires always are. It’s nicely tanned, in fact. Nor are his eyes red, or his canine teeth abnormally sharp. And obviously, he has no aversion to sunlight, otherwise he wouldn’t be out here during the day. The only visible marker of his inhuman nature is his lack of a reflection. Maybe he’s not a vampire at all? Maybe he’s another type of being entirely. That only makes you more curious.

It’s not rare to come across supernatural beings, but they only make themselves known if they want to, or if it’s imperative to their survival. Most of them would rather quietly assimilate amongst humans or stay safe and hidden within their own communities. Humans are still too judgmental towards those who are different from themselves for nonhumans to feel truly safe or welcomed—at least not on a global scale. Small pockets of communities forged with human allies are helpful and sometimes vital for survival, but not always enough.

These small tidbits of information cycle through your mind as September gradually bleeds into October. You continue watching the thoughtful man in the coffee shop and making up your own secret theories about his life. You haven’t told anyone from school about this, because you already know the reaction would be nothing short of awful. Your parents would only let you go to school at the one university in the city that explicitly didn’t allow supernatural beings; it goes without saying that your classmates don’t view them in a positive light.

Part of you feels like you might be breaking the unspoken rules just by being at this coffee shop all the time and allowing this man to take up space in your mind. But who will know what’s inside your thoughts except you?

One day, your friend decides to accompany you on your lunch break, finally stopping by the café she recommended to you. The man is already there, as usual, and he smiles slightly when you and your friend enter. She doesn’t catch this, too busy wondering what she’s going to get off the menu today.

“I haven’t been here in forever, I wonder if Sam still remembers me?” You know Sam to be one of the baristas there, having read it on their name tag before.

“I doubt there are very many people who’d forget you,” you answer.

When you both have your food, you take a booth farther away from where the man sits, though you can still see him easily from this distance. Your friend settles into the seat in front of you.

You try to keep things inconspicuous throughout your conversation, but you must glance over at him one too many times, because your friend eventually raises her eyebrows questioningly. She turns around in her seat, making it obvious that she’s looking, and you groan as you keep your eyes in the opposite direction towards the window.

“Who’s that guy you keep staring at?”

You cough. “No one.”

“He’s obviously someone. Someone interesting enough to hold your attention.”

“I don’t know the man,” you say curtly. You shuffle your napkin and spoon aimlessly, your nervousness rising. What if he has some kind of enhanced hearing and can hear what you’re saying right now? He definitely heard you make that noise that first day.

Your friend looks at the ceiling and blows air out of her mouth. “Whatever. I’ll find out who he is sooner or later.”

You take a sip of your drink and lower your voice to just above a whisper. Although you want to leave the subject alone, you’re curious about one thing. “You mean you’ve never seen him before? This café was your hangout spot before it was mine.”

She shrugs. “No, I think I would’ve remembered someone as...visually striking as him. Why are we whispering, anyway? It’s not like he can hear us above all this noise.”

You think to yourself, I’m not so sure about that, but you merely shake your head.

You spend a few more minutes talking before movement catches the corner of your eye. At this point, it’s practically a reflex for you to look in that direction. You try not to, but your friend has already caught you and turns her head to spy, too. The man has gotten up for whatever reason to say something to one of the baristas at the counter. Your gaze darts back to your cup after you’ve gotten your eyeful, but you’re nearly startled into dropping the cup at your friend’s gasp.

Oh. The mirror.

She grips the edge of the table. “He’s a vampire…?”

You don’t know what to say to that, and you feel oddly guilty for some reason you can’t pinpoint. Like you’ve been caught with your hand in the cookie jar. “U-um, I don’t know…?” You can hardly finish your thought before your friend is scrambling to grab her purse. She hurriedly stands out of the seat, tugging your arm as she does.

“Come on. We shouldn’t stay here.”

“Are you serious—?” You feel embarrassed heat rip through your body at her display; some other café-goers are already looking at her curiously, probably wondering what the hell she’s doing. She tugs more incessantly, and you already know she’ll get louder if you don’t get up now and defuse the situation. Leaving your half-full cup behind, you grab your things and follow her out of the store, keeping your eyes firmly on her back as you pass by the man. You don’t know if he looked up, or if he could sense the reason for your sudden departure—you’ve never left the shop before him until now—and you don’t want to know.

Neither of you talk until you’re well down the street and around the corner. “That wasn’t necessary,” you huff, your hands still sweating from the spiked adrenaline at suddenly being rushed out.

“Yes it was! We all know bloodsuckers and all these other weirdos are dangerous...even if they think they’re being well-intentioned by living among humans. I hope you don’t go back there.”

“Whatever...you’re the one who told me to visit the café,” you mumble, unable to muster up the energy to say anything more. You both know very well she can’t tell you where to go, but you hope she doesn’t mention this to your other acquaintances on campus and make it into a bigger deal than it is.

When you part ways with your friend and get back to your dorm, you realize you’re missing your planner. The planner with all your upcoming assignment dates in it. You sigh heavily and roll your eyes, knowing it must’ve happened in the chaos of her pulling you out of the shop. Maybe if you’re really lucky, it’ll still be there, picked up by an employee or simply left untouched. Knowing how many people go through that café in a day, you’re not optimistic.

For the first time since visiting the quaint little shop, you’re not anticipating returning and seeing the man again, afraid he’ll ignore you or look at you with distaste—like you’re just another unsympathetic human. And would he be wrong to think that? You’re only strangers to each other.

You try not to dwell on it too hard when you go to bed that night.

When lunch rolls around the next day, you hesitate a couple times on your way to the café, not wanting to show up. However, the desire to see what became of your planner pushes you forward. You don’t even have to stay; if it’s there, you’ll take it and leave. If it’s not—oh well. You can still leave. It’s not hard to buy another.

He’s there when you arrive, of course.

He nods at you when you step inside, though he doesn’t smile as he’s become accustomed to doing. You nod back, but you can’t ignore the renewed rush of embarrassment you feel. You linger at the entrance for a second longer, wondering if maybe you should say something. Apologize, even? But what if he really didn’t know what was going on yesterday? Then how odd would you look for bringing it up?

You decide to move on and go back to the booth to search for your belongings, but his voice stops you. This takes you by surprise.

“Did you come back for this?”

You turn to him to see him holding your planner in his hand. You stare, momentarily dumbfounded, and almost shake your head before realizing it is yours. Definitely the same sticker-covered, scribbled-all-over planner.

“Oh—y-yeah. Thank you.” He passes it to you, though you notice he’s very careful not to let your hands touch. You’re a little perplexed about why, but then the rumors about vampires having cold skin pop up in your mind. Maybe that’s actually true, too. “I usually don’t lose things so easily, but…” Your voice falters, and you don’t know how to finish that sentence without bringing up the other day’s events.

He doesn’t seem to mind as he replies, “It happens to all of us sometimes...I don’t know what I’d do if I lost my camera.”

“You take pictures?” you ask, a tinge of curiosity in your voice.

He nods. “I take photos of anything that interests me. Which often ends up being everything I see. I work at an art museum, so I guess having an eye for photography comes in handy.” He hesitates for a second, then says, “I could show you some?” He waves his phone, indicating that the photos are there.

“Oh, sure.” The man gestures for you to sit down in the empty chair in front of him, and you do so. He swipes through his phone a few times until he settles on what he’s searching for, then puts the device on the table and slides it to you. You lean forward to look at it and see that it displays an album full of pictures, simply titled with the emoji “🌌.”

“It’s okay, you can pick it up.” He chuckles. You pick up the phone and swipe through the numerous pictures. Many of them are nighttime shots of the moon, trees, half-empty streets, darkened storefronts. Others depict nature scenes at sunset or the beginning of sunrise, with the sky colored in darker hues. No matter what the subject matter is, they all look to be professionally taken, even for an iPhone.

“Wow, these are nice. You said you work at a museum…are you a professional photographer, too?”

The man shrugs, and as you look at his slight grin, you realize you still don’t know his name. “Something like that, I guess.”

“You should be if you aren’t already,” you say, looking through more photos. “I’m sure you’d make a lot of money.” When you reach the end of the album, you go to hand the phone back to him but realize he’ll probably want to avoid contact again, so you slide it across the table. He takes it and slips it into his pocket.

“I don’t really care about the money,” he responds. “I just like it because…” He trails off, unsure how to convey his thoughts, wondering if he should even get that personal with a stranger. “It...helps me pass the time.” He’s not quite satisfied by that answer—it doesn’t feel like enough—but it’s all he can think of on the spot.

“Well, that’s nice too. It’s always good to have a hobby just for the sake of it...not for anyone’s benefit but your own.”

“Do you have one?” He takes a sip of his coffee. You don’t expect to be asked about your own interests, and your mind goes blank as you try to think. Why does this always happen when I’m asked these kinds of questions?

“Um, just different things here and there.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” he says, amused.

“It’s not that, I just don’t have a ton of hobbies or anything. I’m kinda boring, so…” And wasn’t allowed to do much of anything until I left home.

“Being boring isn’t always a bad thing.”

You lean back in your seat, shrugging slightly. “Maybe if you see it that way. My friends don’t.”

“Would one of those happen to be the same one who dragged you out of here yesterday?” He speaks casually, putting his cheek in his hand. You slump further down in your seat, feeling exposed. Of course there was no escaping this topic. He notices your mood shift and shakes his head. “You don’t have to feel so bad about it. It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last.”

“I’m sorry for all that mess,” you murmur, unable to meet his eyes. “Really, I am.” You stand up from the seat, gripping your planner. “Thanks again for this. I don’t want to take up any more of your time today.” You’re about to turn to leave when he speaks again.

“You don’t have to be afraid of me, you know…you could talk with me whenever you feel like it.” That’s the last thing you expect him to say. His voice takes on a quality that’s...not what you’d call begging, but it’s clear he’d enjoy some company. Maybe he’s doing this for your benefit as well as his own, because it’s obvious how your eyes always stray to his little corner.

You nod, giving him an apprehensive smile. “I’ll keep that in mind, then.”

The rest of your day after that is uneventful, full of classes and unexciting lectures, but you keep thinking of one thing. Though he appears to enjoy his time in the coffee shop, how lonely must he really be? There’s never anyone else around him. His eyes when he’d spoken to you held a certain sadness.

And you still didn’t get his name.

You don’t see him for the next few days, mostly because you aren’t at the café. You’ve gotten busy with a new project and haven’t had as much time to return to the coffee shop, mostly spending your time in the library instead.

When you finally get a chance to buy lunch outside campus, he’s not there. This disappoints you more than you thought it would, and you wonder what his absence means. Did he just decide not to come today, or has he found another place to frequent? You kind of hope the second option isn’t the case, though you also don’t know why you’re even caring this much about where someone else goes on their own time.

You get a drink to-go this time, deciding you’ll just take it back to the library and continue your studies there. The entryway bell rings behind you as you wait for your order to be made, though you don’t pay it much attention; half of your mind is still occupied with what you need to do next for your project.

When you turn around to leave the shop with your drink, you’re surprised to see the man standing there, waiting to get his own coffee. “You’re late,” you blurt out. You immediately feel silly for saying it, but he doesn’t seem to mind.

He gives you a slight smile. “Yes, I am.” Then he spots your to-go cup. “Are you leaving?”

“Uh, well,” you glance at your drink, “are you staying?”

He nods as he steps up to the counter. “Yeah, I’m staying. My offer’s still open, by the way.”

Right. The offer to talk to him sometimes. You’re tempted to stay awhile and talk to him now, though you don’t even know what about. Your project? That’s boring. Him being a vampire? Too invasive. Your school? Also boring, and probably not the best idea considering which one you attend.

“I...think I’ll stay, then.”

You both sit at his usual table, with you grinning nervously.

“How are you? I noticed you hadn’t showed up in a while,” he asks, settling back in his chair.

“Yeah, I’m doing fine, I’m just busy with school stuff. These teachers don’t give us a break.” You laugh a little, shaking your head.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” He grins. “I never did go to college, but I’ve always heard others talk about how tiring it is. And expensive.”

“They’re right.” You roll your eyes at the thought of it. “But I guess it’ll all be worth it in the end. Maybe. If the economy isn’t in the toilet.” The sound of his laughter is nice, and you’re glad you could make him laugh. “Also, I’m sorry—I don’t know how this flew under the radar, but I don’t know your name.”

He shrugs. “Nothing to apologize for, really. It’s Johnny.”

You tell him your name, too. “Since I haven’t seen you lately...how are you doing?” You circle your hands around your to-go cup, feeling its warmth transfer to your palms as you await his answer.

“I think I can say I’m the same as always—which is fine. Life slows down a little when you have a lot of time on your hands.” Johnny’s lips quirk up at that, and you think he might be referring to his vampirism. Your eyes widen a little.

“What’s that like? Having so much free time. I wouldn’t know much about that right now, but…”

“Maybe not as pleasant as you think it’d be. But there’s good in it. Like coming and going when you want to. And you can take up whatever interests you want without worrying as much about busy schedules.” You already know he’s alluding to his photography. “I do like having a job, though…it gives me structure.”

“You’re probably right…I wouldn’t know the first thing to do if I had a ton of free time…like, which hobbies to pick up first.” You consider how you initially thought about him being lonely and wonder if that’s one of the unpleasant parts he hinted to. “Speaking of hobbies...did you take any new pictures lately?”

Johnny nods. “Most of them were on my camera this time, but some are on my phone. You want to see?”

“Yes!”

Johnny lets you have his phone again to look through the newest pictures he’s taken. There are varying shots of car-lined streets and storefronts, some of the latter decorated with glowing jack-o-lanterns for the onset of October. A pigeon sits on a streetlamp during the daytime, holding its head up like royalty upon a throne. In another image, a stray cat and her kittens huddle in an alley, the babies grooming each other while the mother looks quizzically at the camera.

You recognize a few photos from the nearby park; he also had some pictures of it the last time you looked. “Do you go to this park often?”

“Yeah, it offers some great shots. It’s especially pretty if you go just before the sun sets...the light filters through the tree leaves and it looks kinda like a kaleidoscope.”

“Ah, I’ve never seen that before…” you say a little sadly. Your parents didn’t much like taking you to that park when you were younger because of how far it is from their house. And since living away from them, you’ve only been able to visit it during the early hours of the day—like now.

Johnny looks closely at you. “Would you ever want to?”

“If it’s as pretty as you say, I should.” You slide the phone back across the table to him, not catching what he’s trying to hint at as you keep talking. “Do you go anywhere else besides here and the park?” As soon as you say it, you realize this might sound a little rude and try to make a quick save. “I mean, do you have any other favorite places? I’m not trying to say you don’t have a life or anything!”

Johnny laughs at your slight panic at thinking you’ve offended him. “Nothing too out-there, I guess. The bookstore, the photography store, the theater. Pretty much all the same places others visit.”

“The movies are fun.” You trace your finger across the table’s surface, thinking of your own favorite spots. “Me and my friends like to go downtown. There are a lot of cute little shops down there…”

You and Johnny talk for a while longer, and you almost forget you have to get back to campus until you glance at the wall clock. “Oh no, I’m gonna be late.” Flustered, you jump out of your seat and crumple your empty cup. “Sorry to cut it short, Johnny, but I gotta go back now.”

He smiles good-naturedly and nods, his dark bangs sweeping his face. “I understand.” As he watches you gather your things and get ready to go, he speaks up again. “Actually, if you want to see the park at sunset sometime...I could show you? It’s up to you.”

You pause, suddenly curious at the thought of seeing him outside the café. In the back of your mind, you feel a little paranoid and afraid of your friend or maybe even your parents seeing you there with him, though the latter is extremely unlikely. It’s hard to shake that familiar fear of judgment and ostracism when it’s been ingrained in you since childhood. “That sounds good. If it’s not any trouble for you…?”

“Never too much trouble. I usually get off around 4 on Fridays, just before the sun sets at 5. Unless the weekend is better for you?”

You nod, holding your books tighter to your chest. “Friday will work for me! I’ll meet up with you then.”

Johnny smiles. “Great; I’ll see you then, kind stranger.”

Maybe he says it to be joking or quirky, to sound like one of those characters in a movie or drama, but it makes you smile. Nodding to him again, you step out of the café and rush towards the direction of your school. Johnny watches as you retreat, your roles reversed.

You meet up with Johnny at the park that Friday, just as you both agreed. You spot him sitting on a bench near the park entrance, waiting on your arrival.

Johnny’s wardrobe is still mostly dark, but it’s a little lighter than usual today. He’s changed things up with a white polo shirt underneath his black sweater. Seeing him dressed like this, you wonder what he’d be like as a student, or maybe even a university professor.

He stands up when you get closer, hearing the sound of your footsteps approaching and turning towards you. His camera sits safely around his neck, the lens catching in the light of the sun.

When you stop in front of him, he smiles at you warmly. You try to relax into the genuineness of that smile and ignore the still-lingering traces of anxiety about being out with him. “Hi, Johnny!”

“Hi, Y/N.”

You and Johnny walk around the park as he looks for something interesting to shoot. He snaps a few shots of the trees, fallen leaves, bushes, and other natural elements along the way, though it seems like he hasn’t quite captured what he wants yet.

“Are you looking for something specific?” you ask, peering at his camera as he holds it in his hands.

“There’s an aster bush around here,” he responds. “It hadn’t fully bloomed yet the last time I was here, but it should be open by now.”

It turns out he’s right as you two finally come up on the bush. Its blooms make bright purple smudges against the rest of the landscape, which is a monochrome red-and-orange palette from the leaves changing their hues. You watch as he comes up to the bush carefully and quietly, like it’s a small animal he’s afraid to scare away. Johnny is very attentive while taking pictures of it, always conscious of getting the correct lighting and securing the exact angles he wants to capture. “Compassionate” is not a word you’d usually associate with the act of taking photos, but that’s the only word you can currently think of to describe this display. He treats the flowers with a peculiar sense of respect, as if they’re a human subject.

After he’s gotten the images he wants, Johnny offers you his camera to take a few of your own. You’re anxious about holding his prized possession and are afraid you’ll find a way to mess something up, but he promises you it’s fine. You take a few shots of the sky, still with a few wisps of clouds left, and a nearby tree that’s almost stripped bare of leaves. You know the shots will probably end up blurry from your unsteady hands, but Johnny tells you you’ve done a good job anyway.

Something about getting his approval makes a pleasant warmth settle in your chest.

As you both walk down a long trail, you finally ask him, “Sorry if this is invasive, but I was wondering how old are you? Like...as a vampire.” Your voice becomes hesitant on the word vampire, even though you’re the only two in this part of the park.

He chuckles a bit. “I’m 85.” You try not to look surprised. “I’ve been turned for 60 years. Old, but probably a little younger than most vampires you’d think of.”

“Kinda,” you say quietly. “They’re always like 2,000 years old in movies.”

“The ancient vampires are purebloods. They keep to themselves and avoid mingling with turned vampires, let alone humans. Some people are even skeptical if they exist. Supposedly, they use humans as servants or blood banks.” He gives you an apologetic look after saying this, though you don’t really know why. You don’t get the feeling he’d do that to another being, but he is still mostly a stranger... “At least, that’s what my mentor told me.”

Your curiosity is roused at all this new knowledge. “You had a mentor?”

“An older woman. She was also a turned vampire.”

“Turned, huh…”

Johnny nods, toeing at a small pile of leaves on the ground. “She went away eventually, said people are meant to pass in and out of each other’s lives. I don’t think she ever had intentions to stay. But I enjoyed her company while she was there.” Johnny stops at a short bridge above a small manmade lake, and you both look down into the water.

You place your arms on the bridge railing so you can lean over more. You notice he doesn’t have a reflection in the water, and this startles you more than you expected. Before meeting this strange man, you’d never thought much before about why vampires don’t have mirror reflections, but it seems even more unnatural to see this phenomenon happen again in the lake.

You find yourself looking at the side of Johnny’s face, trying to read his expression as he peers into the water’s depths. He turns to you, and you flinch at being caught staring, but he only smiles slightly. You force yourself to form words and break the silence. “What—what did you do after she left?”

“Lived on my own. She taught me a lot of things to help me live independently as a vampire, so it wasn’t too difficult to get along without her...but emotionally? A different story.”

“You sound like you had a very close relationship with her.”

“Yes. Quite close…” Johnny’s tone suggests something deeper, more intimate than a regular friendship. You feel a bit astounded at the idea of him having an older, more worldly lover while being only a newly changed vampire. Your reaction makes you feel foolish, inexperienced. Still, you can’t help imagining a scenario of them living in a big, dark mansion somewhere in the mountains, rolling around in a bed with bloody red sheets—and maybe drinking from the occasional naïve, misled human hiker.

Strangely, too, you feel jealous at his freedom, his ability to go wherever and do whatever with whoever he wants without overbearing relatives always just a step away.

You continue staring at the ripples as they circle in and out of the water’s surface, the motions triggered by a small orange leaf falling into the lake. You’re unsure of what could be the right thing to say to his admission, so you blurt out whatever comes to mind next. “You said she taught you to live independently as a vampire. What does that mean? How do you get...you know. Blood?”

“There are ways,” Johnny says cryptically, which makes your own blood rush faster. He turns to you with a grin, like he finds your naivety endearing. “It’s nothing drastic, though. At least, not for me. I never drink directly.” It does make sense that there are other ways to drink human blood without taking it straight from their necks, though you can only speculate on which methods he prefers. “Drinking directly is lethal, and often not worth it.”

“So, it’s true that vampire bites can kill?” You watch as Johnny pushes himself off the railing, and you follow him as he continues down the trail.

“It’s not false. But it’s never really that simple.” Johnny’s answer is mysterious, and he doesn’t elaborate further. He turns to you. “Where did you hear that, anyway? Your university? The one that bans all nonhuman beings?”

“You know where I go to school?” You feel embarrassed, thinking he must assume you’re like the rest of the student body who hates nonhumans but still nurtures an odd obsession with them.

“I saw it on your notebook one day, the school insignia. I’m not a stalker, by the way.” You laugh only slightly, and Johnny seems crestfallen when he notices your apprehension. “I don’t care if you attend school there. Just because you do doesn’t mean you think the way they do.”

“You must think I’m some weird opportunist, then,” you mutter, heat finding its way to your face. “Asking you all these questions...I’m sorry.”

“I don’t think anything except that you’re a pleasant person to be around.”

You’re quiet for a moment, letting the compliment sink in. You think you should probably give him one of his own, but before you can, he says, “Look. The sun’s already setting.” Just like he told you before, the dying rays filter through the tree leaves and create impossibly intricate patterns on your surroundings. You hold your hand out and watch the latticework that the leaves create dance over your open palm.

You let Johnny take a picture of your hand with the tree shadows flitting over it, but you shy away from the camera’s lens when he points it higher to your face, a questioning look in his eyes. “Maybe some other day.”

You walk around for a while longer until the sky bleeds into a dark purple. “I guess I should be going soon. It’s getting late,” you say, though you’re also a bit sad over your evening with Johnny meeting its end.

“Do you want me to take you back to campus? You shouldn’t walk back alone. My car is just in the parking lot there.” He points to it where it sits in the distance.

You look at Johnny with a confused gaze. “But you can’t come on campus. They have...things to ward off vampires.” Like gates made of pure silver, displaying intimidating, elaborately designed crosses. You don’t know if any of it actually works, but it’s probably better not to find out.

Johnny doesn’t seem bothered by this information. “Yeah…I know. I can just drop you at the street across from the main gate.”

You hesitate a moment longer but eventually agree. He is right; you’d rather not walk alone at night, and getting a ride with him is better—and cheaper—than calling for a rideshare.

The ride to the college is fairly quiet, with the radio filling the silence. It’s not an awkward type of stillness, at least, which you’re grateful for.

As he said he would, Johnny parks on the side of the street that sits in front of the main gate, just outside the immediate vicinity of the campus. The metal crosses stare back at the both of you, glinting in the light of nearby streetlamps. You turn your face away from them, biting the inside of your cheek.

You unbuckle your seatbelt. “Thanks again for the ride. I guess I’ll see you back at the shop next week, yeah?” Again, you get the urge to say something, anything, to remedy or cover up the foreboding source of discomfort sitting just in front of you, but there’s no one sentence you could say to wipe away decades of hatred.

Johnny nods and smiles, and still he shows no signs of being disturbed. He doesn’t cast another glance at the gates. “It’s no problem. See you then.”

You get out of his car and cross the street to get inside the gate; it’s early enough in the evening for it to still be open. Any later, and it’d be locked shut to even humans. You risk another wave at him before turning back around and heading for your dorm, which sits a few yards from the entrance. Johnny lets the car idle on the side of the street until you’ve walked into the dorm, and only then does he drive away.

It doesn’t take very long for you to warm up to Johnny inviting you to other places. The next time you and him go somewhere other than the coffee shop, you accompany him as he buys some film for his camera on one of his free days. You don’t know a ton about photography, so you’re more than happy to let him tell you all about how film works and why he buys certain kinds over others.

The place he frequents is a specialty photography shop that still carries older varieties of film—ones that fell out of favor once digital cameras became a thing. The store looks noticeably old, but not in an unkempt or decrepit way. You can tell it’s been around for a while, holding all kinds of history in its structure.

“There are so many different types.” You look over a shelf of film rolls in awe. “How can you tell them all apart?”

Johnny laughs. “It gets easier if you’ve been doing it for a while…or a few decades.” He picks one up from a row of them and holds it in front of you. “35mm is the most common type, which is what you’ll find the most of when you look through any film shop. That’s what I use.”

He sets that one down and walks past another display of film rolls, gesturing toward them. “There’s also 120 and 220 film formats here…those work for even older cameras, sorta like ones you’d see in 1930s movies. You can even turn a film camera into a digital camera.”

You nod to his words, looking over what seems like millions of film canisters—and occasionally glancing at the lines of his broad back as he walks ahead of you. “You should teach a photography class. I’d be more willing to listen to you than some old professor.”

Johnny snickers. “Huh, I don’t know. Not a professor, but I am old.”

You both continue walking through the store, with Johnny giving you the rundown on every item that catches your interest.

Like the coffee shop, there’s another mirror in this store. Many more, actually—there are whole rows of them on a series of shelves, all in varying sizes and shapes. They create a fragmented view of your form as you stand in front of them, though you don’t initially realize you’ve crossed into their glassy line of sight. You’re busier with looking at a roll of film Johnny’s handed you. When you notice your reflection shifting in your peripheral view, you look up.

Johnny’s only a few feet behind you, and you know this because you can hear him and feel his presence. Yet, it’s strange to see yourself as the only person in the aisle.

Eventually, he notices what’s got you preoccupied and comes to stand next to you. Though you see him clearly in front of your eyes, there’s no trace of him in the glass reflections.

Suddenly, you’re hit with the aching loneliness of it—how it must feel to never see yourself. You can see him with your own eyes, and so can everyone else who encounters him, but what must it be like to be virtually invisible outside of other peoples’ perceptions of you? You almost feel utterly alone even though you know he’s beside you.

Noticing your sudden melancholy, Johnny takes the film roll from your hand and tosses it up in the air, making it look like it’s moving on its own in the mirrors. He means to lighten the mood, if only to see the cloudiness disappear from your expression. It works to a degree, though you still feel downcast deep below.

“It’s not good to dwell on it.” Johnny presses the film roll back into your hand, still carefully avoiding skin contact. He has no problem meeting your eyes, though, and you shyly look away from his dark gaze after a few prolonged moments.

“You’re right,” you say softly, turning back to the aisle and away from the rows of mirrors.

—

You and Johnny head to the coffee shop after your trip to the photography store. Once you get your drinks and sit down in your usual spot, he speaks suddenly. “Something’s wrong.”

Your eyes dart around the shop, thinking he’s referring to one of the patrons around you. “What? What’s wrong?” Your voice comes out a bit panicked. He doesn’t want to laugh, but he does.

“No, I mean...something’s wrong with you. You seem far away.”

“Oh…” You wonder if you should even bring it up and potentially ruin the mood. But you have been curious for weeks now, and you don’t think you’ll get a trustworthy answer by asking anyone other than him. “I just...I was wondering why you don’t have a reflection. I know it’s a vampire thing, but I’ve never really known why...you don’t need to answer, though. Like you said, it’s not good to dwell on it.”

Johnny makes a motion like a half-nod once your question is revealed, his eyes darting to the window and back to the table. His fingers trace across the rim of his coffee cup, a thoughtful but stormy expression on his face, and you’re afraid you shouldn’t have reawakened this topic. “You know...being undead means being in two places at once.”

“Two places?”

“We are caught between the living world and the world of the dead. Something that’s not really supposed to exist, yet…” He’s quiet for a moment. “You can only imagine the kind of issues and side effects that can cause. One of them being no reflection.”

“I never thought of it like that,” you say. “Two planes of existence...what does it mean to be a part of the world of the dead?”

“Our blood runs slower. Ours is more like sludge compared to yours. The heart beats only a few times per minute. Don’t need to eat or sleep, either, though many vampires still do.” Johnny pauses. “How much do you really know about vampires?”

“I don’t know much about any of this...stuff.” You gesture vaguely, meaning all supernatural beings and not just vampires. “No one ever told me these things growing up, and it’s hard to tell truth from fiction at school. People will say anything, horrible things, and you just take it at face value, I guess. I never really thought to try to find the reality.” You sigh. “Sometimes I feel like I’m the only person in the world who doesn’t know anything.”

“Learning is good. You can always learn. I don’t think it’s too late for that.” Johnny’s voice is a little lighter. “Anyway, everyone’s knowledge is different. Sometimes it slips my mind that everyone doesn’t know what it’s like to live as a vampire, though the world never lets me forget for long.”

“Then…do you hang out with other vampires who do understand? Or…maybe humans who can sympathize?”

Johnny gives a humorless laugh. “Most humans are hesitant to interact with us, if not full-out terrified or disgusted. At the museum...it’s less pronounced because all the employees already know. They…tolerate it. But every time someone else realizes what I am and doesn’t take well to it?” He shakes his head, acts like he’ll say something else, and then abandons that line of thought. “And do you really think I’d want to spend my free time around other bloodsuckers?” He tries to play it off as a joke, but you’re more inclined to think he actually feels that way. You can only nod, feeling bad for him but also a little disturbed by his view of his own kind.

“I think you’re a kind person, and you being a vampire doesn’t affect that,” you say hesitantly. “I like talking to you. And even if you feel that way about other vampires, I…wish you wouldn’t feel that about yourself.”

Johnny remains quiet, but he nods. You wonder about the struggle occurring in his mind. The only outward hint of his uneasy state shows in the furrow of his eyebrows and the tense set of his mouth. With his right hand resting on the table, he rubs his fingers together absentmindedly, like he’s analyzing your words. You have a sudden and startling desire to hold his hand, to twine your fingers together and feel his skin on yours for the first time, but you don’t dare cross that boundary.

He finally replies with, “You’re much kinder to me, an old and bitter vampire, than you probably should be. But maybe that’s a good thing about you.”

“I think it’s a good thing,” you agree, your voice low. “Every living being needs companionship. Good companionship, anyway.”

The corners of Johnny’s lips shift in something reminiscent of a smile. He turns a rueful gaze once again to the window, lifting his coffee cup to his lips. “Aren’t I lucky to have yours, then.”

On a day when you don’t have as many responsibilities to juggle, you visit Johnny at the art museum after his working hours are up. He’d already invited you to come to the museum any day you felt like so he could show you around. 

When you get there, he’s waiting in the visitor’s lobby for you, framed by receding sunlight as the day starts fading into night. He looks the same as he always does when you see him in the café on his lunch breaks, but within the context of the museum, he suddenly seems more…alive? Vibrant? He could’ve served as a muse for one of the many statuesque, perfectly proportional sculptures in the museum, and you’d never know anything different.

Your heartbeat increases at the sight of him, just enough to be outside the normal range.

“Hi, Johnny. I hope your day went well?”

“It was fine, nothing too crazy. But it’s better now.” And he smiles at you, sincere enough to make your heart ache.

“Oh—that’s great.” That’s it? You scold yourself internally, but you aren’t quick enough to think up a witty reply to his comment before the topic shifts.

“Is there anything in particular you wanna see first?” Johnny asks, leading you further into the museum.

“I guess I hadn’t thought too deeply about that…do you have a favorite exhibit? I want to see what you like.”

Johnny smiles faintly. “Let’s see, then.”

The dark-haired man takes you to a section of the museum filled with oil paintings, all by one singular artist. At first, all you see is varying shades of black and gray and red, with some white splashed in between. When you begin looking at the paintings more closely, it’s easier to see that each one depicts a different scene of chaos. Maybe a sort of organized chaos, but disarray all the same.

There is one picture that holds a clearer subject than the rest. One of the oil paintings is of a vampire—obvious by the fangs—with bloodied lips and anguished eyes. You pause when you catch sight of it, your steps stilled by the sheer frenzy in the other being’s painted eyes. Their hands reach out for the viewer as if begging for an escape that can only be provided by whoever’s observing.

“This one was painted by a fellow vampire, you know. The same one who did all the rest of the paintings in this gallery,” Johnny explains. He points at the placard next to the painting that displays the artist’s name and a short description of the piece. The word fellow comes off his tongue wrapped in cynicism. “And it was one of the ones I personally chose for this exhibit.”

You glance at him, a tinge of surprise blooming in your chest. “Really?”

He nods. “Who better to depict the ills of vampirism than a vampire themselves? I thought it was a…fascinating change of pace from all the humans who try and fail to do so, ironic as that is.”

If you look at the painting for long enough, you think you can recognize sadness in the corners of the vampire’s eyes—pure, unadulterated sadness. Different from anguish or panic. A similar mask of sadness you’ve seen on the man next to you.

You say nothing for a while. You simply feel the painful throb of your heart in your chest and listen to the small sounds around you. Even now, there are still other people exploring the museum and walking through this very exhibit, but you can’t hear or see any of them. Johnny notices the disconcerted look on your face, and his forehead creases. “But I’m sure you want to see something less…morbid than this, right? Come on.”

“Uh, I-I don’t mind,” you insist, even though you feel like you’ve just awoken from a painful trance by the sound of his voice. But he’s already gesturing for you to follow him elsewhere.

The next set of paintings you end up in front of are a series of sunflower studies. One frame depicts the long green stems; another provides an up-close view of their lined petals. One zooms in close on the flower’s brown center, only small glimpses of yellow left at the edges of the frame.

“This is definitely very different.” You look at him, a small smile pulling at your lips. “But it fits you. I see why you like it.” You remember him back in the park, taking careful pictures of the aster bush and of your hands…and then offering to take one of you. You don’t know why that last one makes your stomach jump.

“I thought you might like it.” Johnny’s eyes linger on your face as he observes your reaction to the paintings. He’s seen these flowers probably a hundred times by now in this permanent exhibit, but the wonder in your expression is new to him.

—

You both walk through a few more exhibitions after that, all with different subjects and mediums—some consist of sculptures, others are clay vases and figures. There’s still a lot to see in the museum, but you’re starting to get hungry, and you know Johnny has already heard your stomach growling.

After the 2nd time it happens and you think you might melt from embarrassment, he grins at you and makes a suggestion. “Let’s go to my office. I’ll get my things and we can eat. The restaurant here is pretty good—or at least that’s what everyone else says…”

When you get to his office, you feel almost like you’ve stepped into a room from years past. Your gaze drifts across his desk immediately; it’s not sleek and modern like you’d expect, considering the rest of the museum’s aesthetic, but wooden and heavy and vintage-looking. It’s olden quality resembles everything else in his personal space. Even his desk chair, a big and plush thing, feels vintage with its soft leather and rustic design.

This feeling is far from a bad thing, though. You enjoy the aged look of the bookcases, the picture frames, the chairs, the small decorations here and there—everything about this room.

Johnny notices how you look around, studying everything in sight, and smiles. “It’s not the most modern, but I like it.”

“It’s perfect. Like a world of its own.”

“A woman of taste, I see.” Johnny puts a hand over his heart, giving an expression like he’s truly touched, and you can only grin sheepishly. When he has his belongings, he leads you out and locks the door behind him.

“Let’s see what they have on the menu today, then.”

—

You get dinner at the museum’s restaurant, just as Johnny recommended, and he even decides to eat too. Maybe he does it so you won’t look odd being the only one eating, or because he really just wants to; he doesn’t let on. Either way, sitting across from him like this in a fancy restaurant with both of you having a nice meal feels almost like a date. You let that thought amble around for a few minutes longer before tucking it back into one of your mind’s many small niches.

“I’ll probably be digesting this for the next few weeks,” he says jokingly, pulling a mock-disappointed face at his plate.

“That sounds like the worst constipation in history.” He snorts at your comment, his eyes creasing as he laughs. You notice he has a dimple when he smiles, and your grin mirrors his. You don’t think you’ve seen him laugh quite so genuinely before, but now that you’ve experienced it, you want to hear it again and again.

Anything is preferable to the perpetual gloom, always slinking around the corner.

—

When Johnny gets back home after dropping you off at the university, he undresses himself and showers and pulls on his bedclothes, which are nothing more than his underwear and a pair of sweatpants. His upper canines ache in his gums the entire time he goes through these motions, like two pulses of red-hot heat positioned on either side of his mouth.

He takes a blood bag from the fridge and drinks it in bed, leaning his arms against his knees. A sudden remembrance manifests itself in his mind; he hears the hazy echo of his mother’s decades-past voice in his head, reprimanding him for eating in bed. A sharp pain grips his chest, and he tries to send it back to the depths where it belongs.

When the blood hits his stomach, the pain is eclipsed by the bloodlust, which is no better. His fangs drop immediately, spiking into his lower lip. Johnny closes his eyes and, very gingerly, allows himself to draw a picture of you in his mind, of your blood in his mouth and your heartbeat roaring in his ears. The way your blood would flow out so delicately, crashing into his tastebuds like the high tide. He is usually better than this at curtailing his bloodlust, not even letting it reach the point of his canines hurting—he can’t remember the last time that’s happened—but being around you sets him on edge. Awakens him in some strange, raw way.

That only makes him more wary. And more guilty about imagining himself drinking your blood. He shouldn’t even be around you if he’s losing his grip on his hard-won control. But although it makes him feel ashamed, it also causes his heart to rush.

He drains the blood bag to the last possible drop. To his relief, it calms him significantly, though the thoughts of you don’t leave. More innocent ones now, of your outing earlier in the evening. Deep beneath, they are tinged with his ever-present guilt at his vampiric nature.

Johnny doesn’t need the sleep, but he drifts off anyway, if only to quiet the conflict sending daggers into his mind.

You’ve known Johnny for a few weeks now, not counting the time you spent silently staring at him in the café, but you find yourself intertwining yourself further into his life. You end up visiting his apartment sooner than you anticipated. You didn’t think of anything as ridiculous as him living in a coffin or sleeping in the rafters like a bat, but you also had a hard time imagining what his place might look like.

You come over on a weekend when you have more time to simply hang out and not worry so much about anything else.

Like usual, he waits in that spot on the side of the street for you to come out. In the daytime, you’re more apprehensive about him being here and someone potentially seeing him and trying to cause trouble for him, but there’s a part of you that likes the rebellious aspect of it. And if he truly doesn’t mind coming near the campus to pick you up, you don’t have much issue with him doing it.

Johnny’s apartment is clean—and a little sparser than you’d expected. Maybe he’s a fan of minimalism. One side of the wall is taken up by a wide bookcase, which features a bunch of different knickknacks, books, and a collection of larger hardcovers that look like photo albums. On the other walls are a few framed pictures of different scenes, and you assume they’re ones he must’ve taken.

“This is a nice place,” you say as he takes your jacket for you and puts it up. “It must cost quite a bit, too…” You sit down on the couch, stroking the soft material of it.

Johnny shrugs. “Thanks. It’s nothing I can’t handle...being nearly a century old gives you plenty of time to save money.” He appears charmingly self-satisfied when he’s able to make you laugh. “Do you want anything?”

“Water is fine…thank you.” Johnny nods and goes off to the kitchen.

Despite trying to keep your eyes on the wall photos, your gaze follows him as he leaves. You discreetly watch him move around his kitchen. With his dark clothes, he’s like a splash of black paint against the pale tile and stainless steel.

There are blood packs in Johnny’s fridge. Lots of them. You know because you saw them from your vantage point on the couch when he opened the fridge door. They look like the blood bags you’d see in a hospital, which makes you wonder how he even gets access to those. Another mystery you struggle to wrap your head around.

He comes back to the living room with your water, and you take it gratefully, though you also feel a little awkward. You think maybe the blood bags are something you shouldn’t have seen, although you know he probably would’ve made more effort to hide them or put them away if that were the case.

“You have a good supply of blood, a nice apartment, and a great job. Does every vampire get these kinds of perks?” Admittedly, it sounded better in your head. Your attempt to stave off the awkward feeling—which was really only coming from your end—only makes it more intense. Johnny laughs dryly in response. You can’t tell if he actually finds it amusing or is just trying to humor you, which makes you feel incredibly silly.

“All of it’s government-issued if you promise never to bite any humans.” Johnny gives a wry smile. “But it’s a mistake to think vampires live glamorous lives, filling up on blood and having no cares in the world.”

“N-no, I get it,” you stutter. “Bad joke.”

“I’m not trying to embarrass you or be mean. It’s just the way things are.” Your roles are suddenly reversed, and now he seems to feel some sort of sympathy for you, like you’re just an ignorant little human who doesn’t know any better. The last part of that is more your insecurities speaking out than anything else, but you try to ignore that and take him for his word.

Johnny gets up from the couch to go over to the bookcase as you sip your water. After looking through the photo albums intently, he takes one off the shelf and hands it to you. You set your water down and hold the album carefully as you open the front cover. The cover itself has a neat little label that reads Telluride 1976 - 1980, so you can already expect what you’ll find in it. There are numerous photos of trees, bushes, snowy mountain ranges, lakes, brilliantly vibrant flowers, and woodland creatures. You stop at a picture of a deer looking straight ahead, its black eyes wide and curious as it examines the lens.

“I lived in the mountains back then, a little after my mentor had left. I spent some time trying to reconnect with nature...and all that other hippie shit people used to do back in that era.”

You chuckle. “Did you wear the same kinds of clothes, too? Bell bottoms and tie-dye T-shirts and all?”

Johnny laughs and shrugs. “Maybe…but that’s only for me to know.”

You grin and look at the photos again. “Well…did your plan work, at least?”

Johnny gives a wistful smile. “In some ways, I think it did.”

You continue looking through the rest of the album, which you could probably do for hours if you had the time—just sit and trace every possible line, curve, and ray of light. Johnny sits beside you as you do, occasionally explaining some pictures and their backstories.

“Lately, I’ve been wanting something else to take pictures of...someone else, maybe.”

“What, like a subject?” you ask.

“Yeah, it’d be nice...I haven’t taken pictures of another person in a while.”

You nod quietly as you flip through the pages—another possible hint flying right over your head. Then a thought comes to you—one that makes your skin warm. “Have you ever taken pictures of anyone you were...involved with?” You don’t say it directly, but you hope he can get the gist of what you’re asking.

Johnny nods as if he doesn’t want to admit to it, a nervous smile gracing his lips. “A few different people…but I always gave them the pictures after we, you know, stopped seeing each other...so there’s none left here.”

“I see…” For a few moments, your thoughts circle around that concept. What was it like to bare yourself in front of someone else like that, immortalized on film? What might it be like to allow Johnny to see you like that, to take pictures of you in your most vulnerable form? The idea doesn’t make you as downright anxious as you expected it to, though you can’t completely shake the lingering embarrassment about it.

After you finish looking through the entirety of his Telluride adventures, Johnny shows you some recent pictures he’s developed, and you’re giddy to see your own blurry creations among them. Now that you’re holding them physically in your hands, you can agree that they look nice, each with its own little personality.

“I thought about putting them in a new photo album,” he says, “but you can keep them, if you prefer.”

You hold them to your chest. “Yes, I’d like to keep them. Thank you.” You smile. “I’m sure I’ll leave you with plenty other photos to put in your album, anyway.”

—

The sun is close to setting again. You aren’t ready to leave yet, though, and Johnny is content to let you stay longer. He pulls out another album for you to look at, this one dated with 1960 - 1964. Unlike the others, there’s no title to describe what’s in it except for that year range.

“This is a picture of me someone took before I was turned,” Johnny murmurs, sitting back down beside you. He turns the album to you, and in the middle of the first page is a sepia-toned photo of him sitting on a bed—or maybe a couch?—wearing a suit. White, handwritten lettering on the bottom right of the photograph reads August 4, 1960.

“Oh wow...” You touch the photo gently over its protective lining. “You look exactly the same. Of course.”

“It’s the only photo I have left of myself,” he sighs, leaning back on the sofa. “If it weren’t for that...I’d feel almost like I didn’t exist at all.”

“Do you remember this day?” you ask.

“…Vaguely.” His answer doesn’t feel like the whole truth, and the way his eyes dart anxiously as he says it confirms your suspicions. Then he sighs again, heavier this time, and he seems to be exhaling all 60 years of his burden along with it. “I was...going to be married. It was for our wedding shoot.”

You’re surprised for a reason you’re unsure of, never even imagining that Johnny could’ve been married at one point in time. Could’ve had an entire life and a family, if it hadn’t been for...

“I’m sorry, Johnny.” You know you never would’ve met him if things hadn’t happened this way, and that knowledge tugs at your heart in a way that makes you feel intensely selfish.

Johnny shakes his head and avoids your eyes. “It was long ago.” He wets his lips and his jaw clenches like maybe he wants to say something else, but he remains silent for a while.

You continue exploring the photo album in silence. With its thin size, there aren’t as many pictures in it as the others—much less, in fact, but each one is still enough to keep your interest. Your mind keeps drifting back to the one of Johnny.

You hand the album back to him when you’re done. He takes it from you, but in a gesture you don’t foresee, he allows your hands to touch for the first time. You make a tiny flinch at the unexpected coolness—not ice-cold, but enough to be noticeable—but you don’t draw away from him. You let his fingers slide across yours as the photo album leaves your hands, and it sends electricity racing up and down your spine.

“S-sorry.” You’re not sure if you’re apologizing for flinching or for making contact at all, though there is no reason to because he initiated it.

“Doesn’t it ever disturb you at all that I’m not human?” Johnny asks softly, still holding the album.

“What?”

“You’ve taken all this so easily...much more easily than many others. You aren’t even disgusted at my cold hands.” A ghost of a grin comes over his face.

“If I were disgusted, I wouldn’t even be here,” you say, trying to lighten the tension. It’s not the kind of tension that arises from anger, offense, or upset, but something else that you are lost on comprehending in this moment. “Some of it’s unfamiliar, obviously, but I’m not disgusted.”

He glances down at the album in his hands, as if contemplating something. Maybe thinking about the only living photo of himself beneath the cover. Or maybe he’s thinking back to how he was turned in the first place and subsequently lost the life he was about to have. He still hasn’t told you anything about how he became a vampire, and though you’d like to know, it’s obviously a sore spot for him.

Eventually, he nods, willing himself to smile at you. “I’m glad.”

—

Night has fallen by the time you’re done exploring the decades of his life, though there is still much you haven’t seen and don’t yet know. You let him drive you back to the school as you stare out at the passing cars, wondering how many more of these people sitting in their vehicles are nonhuman and you’d never know it.

You hesitate after he pulls up across from the main gate.

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

“Uh, nothing really, it’s just—I still don’t have your number or anything.” And I want to talk to you more often. I want to hear your voice more often. You don’t want to say anything overly dramatic or cheesy, so you just keep those last thoughts to yourself.

Thinking it had been something serious, he smirks at your concern. “Oh, I see. I’ll give it to you now, then.”

Once your numbers are safely in each other’s phones, you finally bid each other goodnight. 

Though you try to steer your thoughts towards other things, you keep veering back to Johnny. His apartment. His fridge full of blood bags. His photo albums full of years of history. Even when you get into bed that night, you can’t keep him off your mind.

You wake up gasping and sweating when you dream of him with his fangs in your neck, your own blood running down your neck and chest. You glance over at your roommate to make sure you haven’t woken her and rest your head on your knees, trying to catch your breath and settle your racing heart. Your skin still prickles with how you could practically feel his heated breaths on your neck, ice-cold hands gripping your shoulders.

The worst part of it is that you can’t quite say you completely disliked it.

“It doesn’t make much sense to have a Halloween party and dress up as the very beings that you hate, but whatever…” you mumble, looking through a rack of costumes with a certain impassivity. You’re not very enthusiastic about going to this Halloween party, but your friend refuses to go alone. You haven’t been spending as much time with her anymore—partly because of Johnny and partly because you feel even more out of place around her than normal—and with all her begging and pleading, she refuses to let you opt out of this one.

“It’s about having fun, no one really cares Y/N. They’re freaks, aren’t they? That’s why people dress up as them, they’re practically meant for this.”

You become even more apprehensive about the party after hearing that, if that’s even possible. You smooth your hand over the fabric of a witch’s robe and sigh again, shaking your head. It doesn’t feel quite right to keep spending time in her presence—or anyone else who goes to your school—but you feel trapped on all sides, left without much of a choice. You would never hear the end of it if you tried to switch universities…or even drop out.

Your mind strays back to Johnny as always, with his melancholy aura and weird jokes and pretty pictures and monochrome clothes. The smell of his cologne, the lingering scent of roasted coffee beans, and his toothy smile, when he does show it to you. Something in you makes you want to drop everything you’re doing right now and go to him. It might even be nice to settle in his arms, feel them strong and solid around you—though he’d probably need just as much comforting as you.

“Dress up as this!” Your friend breaks the reverie as she prances over to you with a pair of fake fangs, the tips of them painted in acrylic blood. She holds them up to your mouth, and you struggle to manage a smile, if only to sate her enthusiasm. “It actually reminds me of…that vampire at the café. Say, have you seen him since then?”

You shake your head, moving away to sift through another rack of outfits as you try to maintain a detached expression. “Nope, not a glimpse. Haven’t even thought about him.”

When your friend doesn’t suspect anything, you let your expression drop just a tad, breathing out quietly.

The night of the party, the full moon is heavy and bold against the black blanket of the sky, which feels horribly cliché. You wonder if there are any werewolves out tonight, and what they might be doing right now.

“We’re going to have a good time tonight,” your friend insists as you both walk up the front steps of the host’s house. It’s someone you only vaguely know, a friend of a friend of a friend, but clearly a person who has an abundance of money judging by this expansive home. You don’t know why she feels the need to convince you, but maybe it’s because you haven’t seemed very enthusiastic so far. You only give a thumbs up to her words, which feels like an unconvincing gesture. Luckily for you, it works.

After a few hours, the party is still going strong but your head is starting to hurt from the music, and you’re growing weary of all the men crowding in too close, looking at you in your angel costume like you’re something to be devoured. You’ve rolled your eyes at way too many of them and their haphazardly put-together costumes, dressed up as vampires with terrible fake fangs or werewolves with manes of matted up fur.

Your friend keeps flitting around the party, talking to whoever she recognizes from classes or campus organizations, and you’ve given up on trying to follow her around any longer. Every time you turn around, she’s somewhere else. Noticing that you’re currently solo, a guy from one of your history classes comes up to you and begins what he thinks is an interesting conversation on how angels actually look more like Eldritch abominations than the cherubic humans depicted in paintings—so your costume is “technically inaccurate” —and your eyes glaze over as you pretend to listen to him.

You eventually manage to get away from him and get to an undisturbed corner, wedged next to two girls drinking cider and critically rating all the guys’ costumes. You pull your phone out and think about calling for a ride back to campus, but your thumb hovers over the message icon. You press it without thinking too much about it, and Johnny’s name appears as one of your most recent conversations. Though you feel somewhat nervous, you will yourself to open the box and begin typing.

To: Hi Johnny. I hope I’m not bothering you, but can I come over? 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿 I’m over this party

You put your phone back in your purse, trying not to get your hopes up for a quick response. You know there’s a good chance he’d still be awake at this time of night since he doesn’t need to sleep, but he has his own life and is probably off doing...vampire-y things. Whatever those things could be.

However, your hopes are met when your phone pings only a couple minutes later.

From: Of course. You’re not scared about spending your Halloween with a vampire? 😏

You smile at that.

To: I think I’ll be fine…as long as you don’t bite me.

From: 🦷🩸

—

You get to Johnny’s studio apartment not too long after, and you hang around outside his door for a few moments before knocking, suddenly feeling bashful about your costume. Maybe you should’ve changed before coming over here; what if he thinks it’s childish? Or maybe too revealing? Does he even care about that kind of stuff? Doesn’t matter now, though. You’re here, and there’s no way you’re turning back around.

He answers a few seconds after you knock, wearing a sweater and black pants. You notice his sweater is a cream color and not the usual black. He looks a little surprised to see your costume, and his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows.

“Wow, you look pretty. Nice of you to visit me after falling straight from Heaven.” You cringe at his cheesy line, though you also cannot deny that you secretly enjoy every bit of it.

“Thanks, Johnny...” you say timidly, stepping into his home as he lets you in. “Nice work with changing up the color scheme.”

He’s confused for a moment before realizing you’re talking about his clothes. “Oh yeah, that...um, haha. Thanks.”

Unbeknownst to you, the back of his mind is buzzing with a form of excitement he hasn’t felt in a while. Not the clawing, frantic spikes of bloodlust, but a more physical kind of desire. It’s pleasurable, but he also feels guilty about pining over how sweet and innocent you look in your all-white outfit, stockings hugging your legs perfectly and your dress just short enough to tempt the imagination. Really, you’ve painted a picture of perfect purity, and the only thing he can think about is ruining you. Putting his hands on you and peeling your dress off to reveal the soft skin underneath.

He casts those thoughts aside as you sit prettily on his couch, legs crossed at the ankles—though it’s hard to do so. “Do you want something to drink? Or eat? There isn’t a whole lot of food here, but I can order something…”

“Do you ever make your own coffee?” The question seems a bit random at first, and you try to explain. “You know, since you always get it from the café.”

Johnny smiles. “Do you want coffee? I can make it.”

You nod. “That would be nice…whatever you have.”

“I pretty much have your usual order memorized by now, so I should be good on making it.” Johnny walks to the kitchen. “You can look through the albums while you’re in there. The ones you haven’t seen yet.”

“Oh, thanks.” You feel a little nervous to be looking through the shelf of his treasured photo albums by yourself, but you’re also glad he trusts you enough to let you do it. It makes you feel important. Maybe even important to him, as silly as that might sound.

It isn’t long before the scent of coffee wafts out into the living room. Johnny returns soon with two cups of it, and just as he promised, yours is made just the way you like it.

“Thank you.” You set the album back on the shelf and take the cup from Johnny. For a while, both of you talk of nothing important—just filling the space with the details of your days.

“So how was the party?” Johnny finally asks, and he raises his eyebrows as he scans your outfit again. You grin halfheartedly.

“It was…alright. Kinda weird. I think it’d be more fun if I went to a regular university, but you know…”

Johnny shakes his head. “I can’t blame you for bailing out.”

“Yeah…I’ve been to college parties before, but the Halloween theme was a bit…”

“Strange for an institution that bans all supernatural beings?” Johnny finishes your sentence. He doesn’t look offended or irritated by it—only slightly amused.

You shrug, biting your lip. “Yeah, that.”

“Well, look on the bright side. I wouldn’t have gotten to see you in your natural form otherwise.”

This one almost goes over your head, too, but you catch it just in time. Johnny’s compliments make you feel warm all over, like you’re sitting under the sun. You grin and look down into your cup of coffee, unused to receiving such bold praise and unsure how to respond to it. Something pops into your mind, though, and you think it might be a good idea to run with it.

“You could...take a picture of me, you know. If you want to...since I’m all dressed up now anyway.” You meet his eyes only for a second and then look away, twisting the mug in your hands.

Johnny sits up a little straighter at your words, trying to catch your eyes, though you don’t hold his gaze for long. “You’re sure?” he asks.

“I’m sure. Go ahead! Before I change my mind.” You laugh nervously and carefully set your half-empty mug on the table.

Johnny’s camera is never too far away from him, so he grabs it and plays with the settings for a bit before looking back to you, a small smile on his face. “I’m gonna start, okay?” His voice is surprisingly soft. This, yet again, reminds you of him and the aster bush. He acts as if you might run away at the first shutter click, which makes you feel babied, but you don’t totally hate it.

The first few photos are a little awkward—at least to you. You aren’t sure how to pose, or if you should try to look more casual, though Johnny assures you you’re doing well. He gives you directives throughout, telling you to look in his direction or angle your face a certain way, and you follow his instructions to the best of your ability.

At one point, one of your dress straps slips down. When you go to fix it, Johnny says, “Wait. Could you keep it like that?”

You look at him, your body heating from the suggestion.

“Is that okay with you?”

“…Yes.” Your throat is dry, and your body reacts in a way you don’t expect—little nervous thrills in your hands and feet, though you try to internally explain it away as the coffee’s effects. Johnny takes a few more photos like this, and then he steps closer to gently touch your chin, guiding your face to the angle he’s looking for.

“So good for me.” It slips past his lips in a reverential murmur before he can really consider what he’s saying, and you both freeze. Your heart rate increases, and you wonder if he can hear how hard the red organ is beating in your chest. Probably.

You want to hear him say it again.

Johnny laughs awkwardly, his hand coming back to his side almost a little too quickly to be natural. “Um, I’m really sorry. That was a bit...”

“It…it’s fine.” You avoid his eyes. Johnny takes a few more photos, but the set of his mouth is a little tight, as if he’s stressed about something. Or regretting what he let slip, maybe. You want to tell him you really don’t feel bad about it, but you aren’t sure how to do that without making things more awkward…or revealing your true desires.

When Johnny has taken enough pictures of you to be satisfied with, he sits next to you on the couch, setting his camera on the coffee table and looking suddenly timid.

“I can’t wait to see them,” you say, attempting to break the tension that never really cleared the room after his earlier comment. He blinks for a moment like he doesn’t know what you mean, and then realizes—obviously, he’ll be developing the photos.

“They’ll come out nice, I’m sure. I think you’ll photograph well.”

“Thank you,” you murmur, and now it’s your turn to be unsure of how to resurrect the conversation.

“You’re beautiful.” It’s an abrupt comment. It makes your stomach twist in a pleasant, fluttery way, and you become hyperaware of his form sitting next to yours.

“Haven’t heard that one much, but thanks.”

Johnny turns to you. “Anyone who’d think otherwise is a fool.”

There’s a pause after this where you both simply study each other, watching for hidden reactions that can’t be read on the surface. The way he says it is…decisive, assured. But it also manages to be tender, as if he needs you to know what he thinks of you. Needs you to see yourself the way he does—the same way you do for him. You don’t know where the confidence comes from, but maybe his tone and his words and his endlessly dark eyes have pulled it out of you. “I want to kiss you.”

Johnny’s lips part. “Are you certain?”

“I’m certain.”

He doesn’t hesitate anymore. Johnny moves closer to you and cups the back of your neck. Something awakens in his eyes in the seconds before he presses his mouth to yours. Though he wants to drink eagerly from your lips, his kiss is languid to avoid overwhelming you, and there is an audible smack of your lips whenever he pulls away and presses back in.

His mouth tastes like the coffee you just drank, but underneath that you swear you can taste a hint of the deep iron of blood, and you don’t know how to feel about that. You think about what his fangs would feel like scraping against your bottom lip, if he’d ever show them to you, and you moan quietly.

“Do you want this? With me?” Johnny confirms once more, pulling his gaze away from your lips and up to your eyes. His own eyes are yearning, but there is also an element of something like fear roiling in them. As if you’d turn him away, even though you’ve already shown your desire for him.

“Yes. Just you. No one else.”

Johnny’s body gravitates towards yours, and you think he’s going to push you down onto the sofa, but he scoops your legs up and carries you to his bedroom instead. Even his hands on your waist and legs makes you burn inside.

This is the first time you've seen his bedroom. The sheets are cloud-soft when he sets you down on them, and his window lets moonlight shine through the open blinds and scatter in thick beams across the floor. The only other light source is the bedside lamp, which emits a comfortable yellowish glow.

Johnny joins you on the bed and lets you climb into his lap—encourages you to do so. His cool hands pulling at your thighs as you settle them on either side of his waist makes tingles go through your body. You don’t hesitate to bring your lips back together, kissing each other deeply as one of his hands cradles the back of your head and the other settles on the small of your back.

You are certain vampires don’t have any powers of enchantment—that’s for magic wielders. And yet, you feel like you’ve been put in a trance by his kisses alone, and you wonder how you could’ve lived this long without knowing how his lips feel—how they fit perfectly against your own. As if everything up to now has purposely led you together.

You shift in Johnny’s embrace, and the movement causes his thigh to slide between your legs. Your heat is pressed against his thigh directly now, your silken panties catching against the denim of his pants. You murmur against his lips, not really saying anything of substance but wanting to vocalize your desire to him. Johnny’s hand tightens slightly on your back, and he experimentally lifts his leg higher and slides his thigh across you. That draws a gasp from you.

Noticing your positive response, Johnny continues rocking his thigh up against your pussy and kissing you until you’re breathless and your nipples are straining against the fabric of your dress. You pull away from him for a moment to try to ground yourself, feeling like your nerves are already being singed with fiery pleasure. Johnny’s face is noticeably more flushed than before, but he also looks much more composed than you feel at the moment.

“It takes longer to get hard,” he explains, as if reading the lingering question in your own expression. “Since...you know. Slow blood.” You rock your hips over his thigh more enthusiastically, motivated to get him hard underneath you, and you listen to his choppy breaths as you move. Your movements aren’t the smoothest, but he helps you guide your hips in a way that feels good for you both. You’ve never been with anyone before, so it doesn’t much matter to you how long or quick it takes for him to get there as long as he does.

Feeling the bulge grow underneath you excites you. Johnny groans against your lips as you kiss him and rub yourself over his member. The sound comes from somewhere deep inside him, as if it’s something he’s been containing for a long time. Your hand goes to his waist and tugs at his belt loops, then drifts closer to his belt buckle, pulling the leather and metal apart. Johnny pauses when you get off his lap and slide further down, grips your arms like he doesn’t want you to go. “Are…you sure? You don’t have to…if it’s too much—”

“I want to, Johnny.”

With your affirmative, he lets you kneel between his legs, pull his zipper apart, and trace your curious fingers over the bulge beneath the fabric of his underwear. Johnny loses his breath when you drag his underwear down, sliding it over the heated skin of his dick. His length is thick and long—even with him not being fully hard yet—and the tip glistens wet with precum. You weren’t sure what to expect, but this is much bigger than you think you might be able to handle. It makes your face warm and your stomach do another series of flips. Still, you want it and you want him, so you aren’t going to stop now.

You lean closer to press your lips against his shaft, leaving a few soft kisses behind. Johnny’s mouth parts when your mouth touches him.

Johnny gently holds the back of your head as you leave small licks over his shaft, tasting the salty skin on your tongue. He lets out a shaky breath as he watches you, his other hand brushing the side of your face.

“Just like that…” he murmurs, his voice heavy with lust as you circle your tongue around the thick, darkened tip, catching drops of his precum. He never takes his eyes off you, and this makes you feel a little exposed, but you continue with your actions. When you suck Johnny’s tip past your lips, his thighs tense under you, the thick muscle reacting beautifully to your actions on his body.

More precum drips from him, and you find the taste strangely pleasing. It makes you want more of him, of whatever he has to offer you. You wrap your hand around his shaft, though it doesn’t fit entirely around, and begin stroking him in a way you hope feels good.

Johnny’s hand slips over yours to guide your movements and show you how much pressure to apply, what pace to stroke him at. “Like this, baby…yes, that’s so good…” He showers you with praise as you get the hang of it, and he eventually lets your hand go so you can do it on your own, his own hand drifting back to the bed to grip the comforter.

It’s hard to quantify just how much seeing you like this turns him on, you kneeling between his legs with his cock between your lips while wearing your pretty, angelic outfit. His previous guilt about “corrupting” you descends to the very back of his mind as he savors every moment of your hands on his cock and your tongue circling his slit.

“I’m close,” he whispers. You quicken your movements on him, hollowing your cheeks tighter around his dick, and the moan he gives shoots straight between your legs.

Johnny carefully pulls your head back so you won’t choke before he comes, streams of his seed shooting into your mouth and running down his cock. Your hand still squeezes around him as he comes, and he slowly thrusts into the tight circle of your fist as you milk every drop from him. By the time he’s spent, your mouth and hand and part of the sheets are completely sticky with his release. You imagine it must have been a long time since he’s last had an orgasm.

The vampire watches intently as you swallow his cum, which causes his softening dick to throb in your hand. He takes your face in his hands and kisses you deeply, uncaring of the taste of himself in your mouth. His hair tickles your face as he kisses you feverishly, his nose bumping yours and his tongue prodding past your lips.

“Come here, angel.” Johnny pulls your body up onto the bed before you can get yourself up there first. The pet name makes warmth flood through your body, like drinking a hot chocolate at the café, except a thousand times more satisfying. Johnny’s hands are once again caressing your thighs, though this time they slide up underneath your dress and squeeze your hips. “Can I take these pretty panties off you?”

“Please.”

He hooks his fingers into the sides of them and pulls them down your legs and past your ankles. One of his hands goes underneath your dress to feel you soft and wet against his fingers, and you both moan at the same time. He slides his digits through your lips and over your clit, and him leaning forward to bring his mouth to your throat is enough to have you nearly overwhelmed. His fingers tease your entrance but don’t push inside until you nearly have to beg him.

“Please, Johnny…” You push your hips up to get his attention.

“Do you want my fingers?” he asks softly.

“Y-yes…” At your words, he eases the middle one into you, slowly enough to avoid discomfort. It feels strange to have someone else’s fingers inside you. His finger reaches further than yours can, touching you more deeply than you’ve felt before; it makes you gasp a bit too sharply.

“Are you hurt?” he asks, freezing and thinking he might’ve done something wrong.

“N-no, I’m fine. Keep going.”

Johnny’s mouth edges closer to the cleavage of your dress as he starts thrusting his finger into you, warming you up enough to take a second digit. Shakily, you bring your hands up to slide the straps down and make it easier for him, and his breath hitches when you pull the top of your dress down.

His mouth envelopes one of your nipples as he slides the second finger into you. His fingers encounter a part of you that makes you moan unexpectedly and grab onto him, a little surprised at the sudden spike of pleasure.

“You’re so pretty,” he purrs, his lips moving against the curve of your breast as he speaks. “And so responsive.”

As Johnny’s mouth and fingers work you closer to an orgasm, you marvel at how handsome he looks and how good he feels. He opens his eyes to see you staring at him, your pupils wide and mouth desperate, and he separates himself from your chest to kiss you deeply once again.

When you come around his fingers, Johnny whispers more compliments to you about how good you are and how he wants to watch you come undone because of him all the time. When he thinks you might be on the brink of overstimulation, he takes his fingers out of you, slipping them into his mouth to taste you.

“I’ll take this off now. Is that okay?” He whispers this into your ear with his hands on either side of your hips, caressing the fabric of your dress.

“I-it’s okay.”

Johnny slips your dress off, leaving you in nothing but your white sheer stockings. The sight of you sitting there on his bed, breathing heavily from your climax in your pretty thigh-highs, has his cock throbbing and rising to life once again.

“Lay back on the bed.” You do, and he settles himself between your legs like you did for him earlier. When you glance at him, his eyes are heavy and piercing. In this moment, you are acutely reminded of the fact that he is not a human, with how he looks like a beast of prey about to devour a meal. You are too nervous to look back at him for long, so you stare at the ceiling with your legs shaking from anticipation.

Johnny’s mouth on you is almost jarring in how wet it is, and you arch up into him in surprise and a rush of pleasure. He gently presses your legs back onto the bed and continues licking into you, parting your lower lips with his tongue and making your thighs tremble under his grasp.

If you had to describe it in words, you probably wouldn’t be able to. He kisses your pussy the same way he kisses you on the mouth, passionately and with more than enough tongue to satisfy. Johnny slips his fingers into you again as he curls his lips around your clit, and you moan unabashedly.

You’re quickly spiraling towards another orgasm, maybe quicker than you expected; but it makes sense with you still being so raw from the climax you just had. You gain enough courage to give another glance down at Johnny, and you see the way his other arm moves back and forth from beneath the bed, stroking himself while he eats you out. Something about that pushes you over the edge, and you cry out as you come on his tongue.

As Johnny gives you time to calm down again, he stands and finally pulls his clothes off, baring his body to you. You’re not sure if you’ve ever seen a man so beautiful.

He goes to get a condom, and your words stumble from your lips before you can psych yourself out of saying them. “I-I’m on birth control.” Johnny looks back at you, his gaze filled with something you can’t quite read. He comes closer to you, holding himself above you on the bed so his face is hovering just above yours.

“You want to feel me raw?” he whispers.

You nod under his burning stare, feeling like you’re on a high you won’t be able to get off of. “I need you, Johnny.”

Johnny climbs fully onto the bed then and positions himself between your legs. His cock is thick and heavy between his thighs as it bumps against your inner thigh and leaves a smear of precum behind. After putting some lube in his hand, he slicks himself with the sticky substance, preparing himself to fuck you open. Something deep in your abdomen shudders, and your walls clench around nothing as you watch him stroke his shaft, the squelching, wet sound of his hand on his dick loud in the quiet room.

When he’s done, he grabs your thighs and pulls you a little closer to him. “If it hurts, tell me, okay?”

“O-okay.”

The slick tip prodding at your hole makes you want more, though you are a bit afraid of how this is going to feel. When it finally pushes inside of you, you gasp. Johnny watches your face for signs of pain as he slides forward further.

With two previous orgasms and the lube to help, his cock stretches you open with some discomfort, but not the kind of sharp pain you expected. Your nails leave little half-moon shapes on Johnny’s biceps as you squeeze his arms and try to keep your lower half relaxed, wanting to take all of him in—or as much as you can manage, anyway. You try to keep your breathing even as he pushes into you slowly.

Your eyebrows crease and your mouth tightens when he slides deeper still, and he pauses. “Johnny…” You worry your lip with your teeth, feeling like you’ve been stuffed to the brim—and he’s not even all the way in yet.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No,” you beg, maintaining your grip on his arms. “Just…try moving.”

Johnny pulls out and slowly thrusts back in again, angling his dick to find that sensitive spot within you. Your mouth falls open silently when he does; this feels much, much different from his fingers. This is better.

Johnny repeats the movement, being mindful not to push himself too deep—only enough for you to handle. Beneath him, your body begins unwinding at the pleasure he’s delivering to you, and your eyes flutter closed as the ecstasy takes over your mind. One of his hands goes to tease your clit as he settles into a good rhythm, and you cry out at the extra dose of pleasure.

“You’re taking me so well,” Johnny mumbles as he sits back and watches himself slide into you, both of your lower halves slick from lube and your own wetness. “So warm and wet, angel…” You can tell he’s using a lot of his energy to keep his pace controlled and gentle enough for you to actually enjoy. The idea of being fucked harder makes you ache deep inside, but you figure it’s best to save that for when you’re more used to this. You already know it’ll be difficult to walk in the morning after this.

Johnny leans forward to kiss your lips, changing the angle again and circling his pelvis into you, and a choked gasp escapes your mouth at the slow wind of his hips.

Johnny lavishes your neck and throat with kisses, and though he is a vampire, you aren’t worried about him biting you. His fangs have not made an appearance since all this started, and you doubt if he would ever bring them out in front of you. You don’t know if you should ask about it, either, wondering if it’s too soon after only a month and a half of knowing each other—but maybe you could say the same about him being inside of you right now.

“Johnny…” you whisper into the air, your fingers scrabbling against his sweaty skin. The mounting tension in your abdomen is close to snapping, and you are almost frightened by how intense it already feels. He moves his face from your neck to be face-to-face with you again and plants a heavy, dizzying kiss on your lips.

“It’s okay,” he murmurs against your kiss-swollen lips. “I’ve got you, Y/N.”

Falling apart in Johnny’s arms feels like a form of Heaven that’s meant to be kept hidden, because you might become addicted to it otherwise. Your inner muscles squeeze around his dick as you come. His name flows from your lips in a high song. You can’t imagine any physical sensation that could be better than this, his hips rocking into you as you tighten and cream around him, and you know innately that Johnny has ruined all chances of you ever feeling this fulfilled with anyone but him.

The constant pulse of your walls against his dick is too much to withstand for long, and Johnny’s muscles pull taut with pleasure when he comes, groaning into your neck and spilling overflowing streams of thick cum into you. His hips falter in their former rhythm, and he resists the urge to push himself as deep as he can into you.

When he pulls out, you whine from the discomfort of it, but also because you wish he could stay in you forever. You know you’ll be sore when you wake up—and you can already feel the very beginnings of exhaustion and ache settling in your body—but you’d do it a hundred times over without changing a thing.

—

Johnny curls himself around you after he’s cleaned the both of you up, as if he means to shield you from the world. You’re quiet for a while as you listen to his slow-beating heart and feel his cool skin against yours.

You look up at his face, which is hard to see distinctly in the dark of the room. With the lamp turned out, the only source of light comes from the moon now, but you can decipher enough to make out the shape of his lips and his glittering eyes. You know he can see much better than you in this light, and he takes his time tracing his fingers across your face and cheek, studying your features.

“Would you ever…make me a vampire?”

His body tenses at your question. “Don’t say anything ridiculous. You still have a whole life ahead of you to live. What I have here...this is no existence.” He’s not mad, at least not at you, but his voice hardens at the very idea of it.

“But what if I wanted to live it with you?”

Johnny takes a breath, but he doesn’t say anything to that. He just continues stroking your face and looks at you for a long time, like he’s searching for something. You don’t know if you truly expected an answer from him, or how you would feel if he did give one.

Eventually, your eyes begin to fall low, and sleep overcomes you. The last thing you register is Johnny’s chilly hand touching your cheek. When he notices you’ve drifted off, he pulls the covers tighter around you both. Then he presses you to his chest as he tunes out the sound of cars rumbling on the streets below in exchange for the beating of your heart—still alive, so red with blood.

[sigurdjarlson]

Is Greg gay?

Canonically? I honestly wish I could answer this with a resounding yes but admittedly I’m not entirely sure.

I hope he is

This got long oops sorry 😅

There’s definitely a lot of things there that could point to it but since nothing concrete has ever been shown/talked about I can’t say for certain:

I think it would make him a far less interesting character if he’s straight

Personally I read him as deeply closeted. Partially because of his desire to distance himself completely from anything that makes him similar to his father. He doesn’t have an issue with gay people but he has an issue with him being gay if that makes sense

That’s just speculation though so back to more canon material

We know Greg is fairly receptive or at the very least tolerant of Tom’s insane behavior towards him which even to Greg has to be questionable at times. (“I won’t let go of what is mine” ?)

The fact he wants to be around Tom after he says shit like “I’d castrate and marry you in an heartbeat” is kind of wild honestly? Requited Tomgreg my beloved

He also has been actively seeking Tom’s company out more and more..which could be out of loneliness but he seems to genuinely enjoy Tom’s presence when he’s not being a dick. And it just seems to be getting progressively gayer

One scene that really stands out tho when thinking about Gay Ass Greg tho is the scene where it really does look like Greg spent the night with Andrew Dodds. He drops Greg off to talk to Tom while jogging and Greg throws “great night!” Over his shoulder.

This isn’t anything concrete. We don’t know what they did. They could have smoked weed and did Ketamine and passed out for all we know but..why show us it? Succession writers are very detail oriented. They don’t usually do things without reason.

It’s also interestingly enough shown right before he talks to Tom who he obviously has this homoerotic relationship with:

But then we come to the whole Comfrey thing.

Ironically the whole dating ladder arc made me more convinced Greg is gay? His interest does not seem genuine. That’s proven quickly when he at the first sign of reciprocation he loses interest in her only to gain it back when Shiv suggests he can get something out of this with Comfrey and/or the Contessa.

It just reads as very fake and forced and I think it’s supposed to? Greg isn’t being genuine with either of them but he wasn’t with Comfrey even before he started his dating ladder crusade.

His original attempts at flirting with Comfrey come across across very much as “this is what I’m supposed to do” and then it’s purely to climb the dating ladder and nothing more

Of course there is the possibility he’s bisexual but his interactions with women ironically make me more convinced he’s gay. Especially when you compare those instances with how he interacts with Tom.

Not to mention the narrative keeps putting him in the position of “other woman” with Tom in a way like they’re framing it that way on purpose I think.

The scene where him and Tom both look at their phones and meet up at a diner? Even Tom’s invitation the first time they hung out “ Shiv is out of town so let me take you out”

And like I said there are a lot of reasons he’s want to stay closeted. His own confusing relationship with homosexuality because of his father and the brat he works for ATN which pushes extremely bigoted material.

(Adds a whole other layer of depth to him not wanting to work there so badly honestly. He clearly did not want to blackmail Tom but he wanted out badly until Tom offered him a significant promotion and he seemingly decides alright I can deal)

His uncle is also blatantly homophobic and has been to his face even though it wasn’t aimed at Greg: (“I don’t want someone to find him at the bottom of some French Fag’s pool” “No..no none of us want that”)

And I’m sure he’s had his share of shit thrown his way for being the guy with the gay dad who ran out on him. Whether it be jokes in poor taste from his cousins maybe or Logan making backhanded comments to Ewan.

Also the environment he’s in in general is extremely homophobic.. Gay sex is constantly being framed as something degrading and wrong. “I heard you bent for him and he fucked you.” I know Greg didn’t hear that line but it’s a good example of the type of talk I’m referring to that’s constantly being thrown around.

At the same time he’s in this homoerotic situation with Tom. Because Tom’s attempts to use this kind of humor to fit in usually falls flat. It comes out genuine, forced or suggestive. (Because he’s closeted too)

And of course we have the infamous

Which convinced me that if he’s not gay then he is at least bisexual. I know Nbraun improvised this line but the fact they kept it in says volumes about what they’re letting be implied here.

And of course we have the Nero and Sporus thing which while coming from Tom..the narrative is pointing at the parallel. Loudly.

The way their handshake is part of ancient Roman marriage

And then we have the costume designers admitting they match Greg and Tom on purpose because “he’s Tom’s real partner on the show”

And I just…we have scenes like this where I have to wonder why is it framed like that

[mako-neexu]

time travel guda twins au where gudako learns through an endless hell of pruning lostbelt after lostbelt that the only true way to keep pan human history from bleaching is to keep chaldea from losing romani and og!da vinci. chaldea's family is stronger together as a whole and can only defeat true evil through the power of love. set on finally ending things, she uses the mounting power she's accrued from all the fake timelines she's gotten rid of to reach back through PHH and try to subtly help her brother restore its true integrity. as a bonus we'd also gain goetia and mnemosyne as aids against future threats. rip sherlock holmes tho. between those two and moriarty he'd never get to do anything cool and shady again

SHAKES YOU ANON SHAKES YOU THATS SO GOOD OMG i hope you dont mind me writing a little about your idea!! Gah its so good! IM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO WRITE THIS BUT HERE ITRIED MY HAND ON IT A LITTLE (i still have no idea how laplace, sheba, and trismegistus works but i put them here anyway so *shrugs*)

Da Vinci couldn’t help but worry. It was… extremely unusual. The readings at that time when they had fought the Lion King was absurd. Fujimaru, Mash and Bedivere fighting a god alone was a feat, nevermind the fact that Airgetlam was Excalibur in disguise. But...

During the fight however, the Lion King’s Authority and immense amount of magical energy decreased somehow in the middle of the fight.

It was practically a huge fraction that had decreased. Up until now, she couldn’t believe it.

There had to be a third party who was helping them. “Help” was too mild of a word, more like they were… hurrying things along from the shadows.

At least, that was what her intuition was saying.

After all, this wasn’t the first time that happened. Thinking about it now, ever since the First Singularity, she couldn’t help but feel as if… something or someone had been watching over their backs.

She wasn’t sure if that presence intended to do good or harm. And that was only one of the scary parts of her realization.

It couldn’t be that Solomon nor the Demon God Pillars. Countless times have already been proven that there had only been one Pillar each Singularity. Each very much the opposite of helping Chaldea. Camelot’s Demon Pillar summon was a unique case, however.

But after reviewing all the records of the events for the past few months as well as interviewing Mash and Fujimaru-kun thoroughly, she found only what were equal to crumbs as the evidence suggesting as proof to her suspicions.

Still, to think that even a God’s Authority can be negated easily just like that…

It would have required close contact to even weaken a Divine Spirit. Yet the third party who’s been helping them practically speed up Grand Order was able to do so without revealing themselves...

“This is… bad.” The genius sighed as she rubbed her eyes under her glasses. At that moment, Romani entered her workshop holding two mugs of freshly brewed coffee.

Romani glanced at the tablet she was holding, heaving his own frustrated sigh. “Still no luck?”

“Not even LAPLACE, TRISMEGISTUS, and SHEBA are of much help here. The only solid evidence I could get my hands on are the events that happened whenever Fujimaru and Mash were in a tight spot. Particularly, every time a Demon Pillar appeared as well as the case with the Lion King.” That statement alone had Romani silent.

The two of them had already perused through the data they were able to gather, questioning a few Servants for any suspicious activities while accompanying Fujimaru-kun in the process.

The silence between them stretched, and the one who broke it was the doctor. “...I don’t know what forces are at play but we have to be on guard in case we encounter that third-party.”

What with the countless possibilities to identify this third-party as, it was a task where they needed to be prepared at all costs.

For all they knew it could be another Threat to Humanity as well. The Solomon they were facing against is already a handful not even mentioning the threat level their third party holds.

[hajime-isayama-official]

One main arguments I’ve seen from non Jewish and poc snk Stan’s and that will have that one token Jewish person or friend who says they are not offended and snk isn’t anti Semitic or Nazi propaganda. Or say well isayama isn’t a anti Korean racist or Japanese imperialist that’s all been proven fake blah blah blah. Even if it’s fake the series is still problematic stop using that one Jewish person who isn’t offended they don’t speak for all Jewish people obviously-part 1

Part 2 he also named miksasa after a imperial Japanese battle ship and dot pixels is based off of a Nazi Japanese imperialist I think? Same for Erwin I might be wrong that’s what I looked up. I’m personally not comfortable supporting the series anymore for valid reasons but it’s honestly so hard to find blogs like you who criticize the series and author I’ve only found a small amount of blogs who acknowledge the problematic aspects in both manga and anime unfortunately :(

Oh Anon, you get me going here.

Yes, Mikasa is named after a very successful battleship (it’s supposedly certain success if your manga has a character named after a battleship). 

Pixis was inspired by a Japanese imperial general. He died before WW2 tho. Anyway that sparked huge controversy with the Japanese fans, leading to hate messages towards Yams for years. 

German SNK Wiki claims Erwin was inspired by Erwin Rommel, a general in WW1 and WW2 who later turned against Hitler (it’s fine cause he wasn’t REALLY a Nazi, right? no.). Erwin’s Birthday is the death day of Erwin Rommel. However, since I can’t find a source I’d take that one with a grain of salt. The main Inspiration for Erwin as a character is Ozymandias from Watchmen. So only fictional mass murder for Erwin here lol

These points are already kinda icky, but can be ignored I guess. Of course SNK searches inspiration in military. It’s a series about literal Child Soldiers (which somehow is never a critic point on any anime/manga?!). However it’s also full of dogwhistles and even more uncomfortable references. 

My main points are the portrayal of grey-morality on the case of genocide and the way Isayama clearly draws inspiration from Nazi Germany when he portrays Marley. The latter is not per say problematic. Fullmetal Alchemist is also inspired by The Third Reich and carries a strong anti-imperalist and anti-nazi message. SNK however falls short on that till now. I am not Jewish myself, so I can obviously not determine what is antisemitic and only point out the obvious. Plus my knowledge of things is obviously limited so feel free to correct or join in. 

Isayama pretty much paints the Eldians as the Jews of this “mirror world” World War we witness since the time skip. This is clear by the imagery of the Ghettos he shows, the armbands the Eldians have to wear and much more (Short images search should do the job here). The coding of the Eldians as Jewish equivalent is complete with the Marleyan myth of Eldians ruling the world if no one does anything to hold them in control (aka every antisemitic conspiracy ever). But it doesn’t end there. We know from the manga that Paradis island is basically Madagaskar. 

The Nazis planned to deport about 4 million Polish Jews to Madagaskar in the 1940′s. That plan was shortlived and obviously never put into action for various reasons. So in SNK we have the scenario that the Eldians fled to Paradis in order to get an advantage over the Marleyans. The Eldians who are not on Paradis live in Ghettos on the mainland. That’s a weird coincidence, considering how many islands our big blue planet has. 

What I think is pretty bizarre is that Isayama distorts this by pairing this imo pretty obvious real live inspiration with references to Norse mythology. This is fucked up in so far that Norse mythology is so heavily appropriated by the Nazis that many runes are outlawed in Germany till today and showing interest in Norse mythology is still often associated with white supremacy (have a look at Neo-Nazi signs and see the pattern). Like, this combination of Norse and early 20th century German imagery isn’t even a dogwhistle anymore, it’s yelling “I SUCK NAZI DICK AND I LIKE IT”.  The references he uses are  especially Ymir and the paths, that can then be seen as the world tree Yggdrasil:

The tree connects the Eldians and the nine titans which share their number with the nine realms that Yggdrasil holds. There’s some more, tiny stuff, like Erwin being easily interpreted as a reference to the God Tyr (God of battle, who loses his right arm in the mouth of a beast) and Hanji to the God Odin (Losing an eye in a well in the pursuit of gaining knowledge and wisdom). Both of these Gods are probably the most appropriated by white supremacists. When Ymir first turns into a titan it is at castle Utgard. In Norse mythology Utgard is a place in Jotunheim, the realm of the Jotun who the giant Ymir is the first ancestor of.

In general the pairing of clear WW2 imagery and references to Norse mythology is a mixture that is VERY sketchy and should always make you suspicious. Especially since these two are not going together (as in Marley using references to Norse mythology), but against each other. So we have both sides (Marley and Eldia) associated with white supremacy. Another thing that I will never be over is that Zeke and Eren are obviously named in reference to the German words Sieg und Ehre (Victory and Honor) referencing white supremacist buzzwords. 

Then we have the issue that the main conflict is not with the Marley people, who are basically our mirrorworld Nazis. The conflict is AMONG the Eldians. Liberating the Eldians form the Marleyans is not even a thing, because we’re busy keeping two Eldians from practicing genocide/euthanasia on their own kind. So in this aspect Eldians are painted basically just as bad as Marleyans (and we have that “everyone is wrong in a war” Issue again). 

I think in the end Eren’s will to kill everyone will lead to Eldians and Marley people accepting their differences or whatever and leading to unision in the shared enemy (kind of already happens in the manga) and while I think that’s a possibly interesting way to go it’s imo not when one of those parties has been subjected to centuries of genocide by the other. Assistant says a good closure to the Norse Mythology theme would be the manga going for Ragnarök, so everyone, Marleyan and Eldian, dies, except for two people who start the world anew. After all anisemitism or in this case anti-eldian sentiment doesn’t just stop after a world war. I don’t really fuck with this bullshit we got in one of the recent chapters where this one Marley general was like “Oh no, they were only people after all”. Bro, your whole society is built on them not being people and all of that is gone in one day of crisis? *doubt.png* 

There’s obviously more to it than that and especially my understanding of the manga might be a bit off, since I don’t read it as attentively as I used to anymore. At this point I’m so fucking suspicious of this manga tbh. I doubt that we can come out of this with an anti-imperialist or anti-fascist message. 

This does of course not mean no one should read or watch the manga or anime. I read/watch it too as you see. But it’s always good to be critical of the media you consume and take concerns from others serious, when it comes to stuff like this. 

[hxlyhead-harpies]

Eventuality (C.D.)

Requested: Yes

Pairing: Cedric Diggory x Reader

Summary: The reader pretends she doesn’t care that her best friend has moved on

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1.6k

A/n: this gif of cedric tho.... i fell in love

You watched as he broke the surface, gasping for air and pulling her along with him. The crowd roared as he was pulled from the water with his hand wrapped around her waist. He pumped his fist in the air in victory, him having been the first out of the lake. She threw her arms around his neck in celebration and you pretended that it didn’t sting. You looked away with your arms crossed, not being able to bear the sight before you. 

Cedric and you had a complicated past. You had been friends, though that was hardly the proper word to describe it, at some point. But as of late you were strangers. The friendship had always been dysfunctional as you were in a different house, but it had always been special. Slytherin and Hufflepuff friendships were always unique but steadfast as both houses highly regarded loyalty. The difference between your houses had always been apparent in your relationship with Cedric but it was valued. You taught a young and shy Cedric how to stand up for himself and he reminded you that you were not like your parents and that you could choose your own path. 

There had always been an underlying tension in the friendship. Lingering stares and hugs that lasted too long indicated that there may have been something more to it. You had always assumed that you and Cedric would be an eventuality, that someday you would finally make your way to each other. But the beginning of sixth year had proven you wrong. 

Cedric had boarded the train with a lovestruck look in his eyes and began telling you stories of Cho Chang. The whole ride to Hogwarts he described her long, shiny hair and her beautiful amber-brown eyes. He spoke of her intelligence and wit, describing her grace and humor. You sat through it all in pain, a fake smile plastered across your face. You tried not to cry when he told you that he planned on asking her to Hogsmeade and you tried to act happy for him. 

Your friendship had become strained in the following weeks. He spent every waking moment with Cho and you pulled away, not being able to bear watching the boy you loved chase someone else. The final nail in the coffin was when he told you that he was entering his name in the goblet. 

“You can’t honestly be serious,” you had practically shrieked. Cedric furrowed his eyebrows.

“What? Do you not think I can handle it?” he asked, anger seeping into his voice.

“No, it’s not that! It’s dangerous you idiot, you could die,” you responded. Cedric scoffed.

“It’s not that serious, I probably won’t get chosen anyway,” he said, crossing his arms angrily. 

“It is that serious you git! Did you not hear Dumbledore,” you replied, “And of course you’ll get picked. It couldn’t be anyone else.” Cedric had rolled his eyes.

“I think you’re overreacting,” he said, his voice venomous. You huffed and stepped forward, pressing your finger to his chest.

“You do not get to tell me when I am overreacting,” you growled, “And I am just trying to tell you that-”

“You don’t get to try and tell me what to do! Not after avoiding me!” he had shouted back. You looked away and bite the inside of your cheek, trying to hold back your anger. 

“I haven’t been avoiding you, you’ve just been busy running around with your little girlfriend,” you spat out. It was a lie, you had been avoiding him. But you wanted to say something that might urge him to apologize. You had no such luck. 

“Don’t talk about her like that,” Cedric said, narrowing his eyes. You shook your head and looked away. 

“Whatever Cedric,” you said. His eyes widened and he stepped back. You hadn’t called him by his full name in years. You had a vast array of silly nicknames you used instead, and it was a low blow to use his given name. 

“Whatever,” he said before shaking his head and storming off. 

The two of you hadn’t spoken since then, only glaring at each other in the halls. You truly and deeply missed him but he seemed fine without you. He was doing well in the challenges, he and Cho seemed to be attached at the hip, and you had watched him smile and laugh at the Yule Ball. It was obvious that he had never needed you in the way that you needed him.

Once all the other champions came out of the water everyone began to vacate the stands. A crowd formed around Cedric and he was smiling wide, basking in the attention. You rolled your eyes, remembering all the days you had teased him for being an attention hog. Cedric thrived on validation and you assumed that his ego was receiving a hefty boost. Cedric turned and his eyes snapped to yours for a quick moment. He seemed to have frozen in place, his mouth hanging open slightly. You couldn’t bear to look away, your heart still yearning for him. Someone grabbed his shoulder to congratulate him and he tore his eyes away. You sighed and began your trek back to the castle. 

You were in the library later that day, avoiding the sounds of celebration coming from the Great Hall. All anyone could talk about was Cedric and you didn’t think that your heart could handle it. You were reading when you sensed someone watching you. You turned around quickly to see Cedric idling by a bookshelf, seemingly debating whether or not to talk to you. When he noticed that you saw him he sent you a brilliant smile that made your heart clench. But you knew him too well and you could sense his lack of confidence. 

“Hey,” he said softly. You gave him a curt nod before turning back to your book. “I saw you by the lake today,” he said, looking down at his hands. 

“Yes, Fleur and I have developed a nice friendship and I went to support her,” you explained stiffly. It was true, you and Fleur were close, but you truly went to make sure that Cedric would be okay. But you’d never let him know that. He blinked in surprise. 

“Oh. I just thought- never mind,” he said, looking away. You snapped your book closed and looked up. 

“Thought what?” you asked sharply. Cedric rubbed the back of his neck. 

“I thought that you might have come to watch me,” he admitted sheepishly. You scoffed and crossed your arms.

“You thought that I was watching you? Don’t flatter yourself…” You said. Once again it was a lie, but you desperately felt as if you needed to shield yourself from the boy in front of you. Cedric frowned and looked away. He stood up and rapped his knuckles against the table.

“Well um… Sorry to bother you then,” he said. He turned to walk away. He lingered for a moment by the shelves. “What happened to us?” he asked softly, not turning back to look at you. You sniffled and looked down, fiddling with the pages of your book. 

“I thought that we were something that we weren’t,” you said softly. Cedric slowly rotated so that he was facing you. 

“What?” he breathed out softly. You sighed and avoided his gaze. 

“I thought… I thought that we might have been more than friends. But I was clearly wrong and I let it ruin everything,” you answered. Cedric’s face seemed to break and he ran a hasty hand over it. 

“It wasn’t your fault,” he said softly after a moment of silence, “I thought my feelings were one-sided so I tried to move on.” His confession hung in the air as you tried to process what he said. “I thought that you could never love me back so I chased Cho instead,” he said. You furrowed your eyebrows.

“But you like her. You pulled her out of the lake today,” you pointed out, unable to believe him. He sighed. 

“It’s not like that. She and I are friends. And after you stopped talking to me, she’s pretty much the only real friend I have. She’s important to me, but not in that way,” he explained. 

“But she’s so perfect! How could you not like her?” you exclaimed, “She’s smart and she’s so gorgeous,” you said. Cedric took a step closer. 

“But she’s not you. And you’re all those things too. You are so unbelievably smart, smarter than I’ll ever be and you’re beautiful you know that?” You just gaped at him. “Please believe me,” he pleaded, walking to stand directly next to your chair. You pushed out your seat suddenly and stood chest to chest with the boy. 

“I want to believe you,” you said softly, “But how can I know for sure?” Cedric rested his forehead against yours and cupped your cheek. 

“Let me prove it,” he murmured. You nodded softly, staring into his beautiful gray eyes. Slowly, he leaned forward, brushing his lips against yours. He tilted back, a question in his eyes asking if it was okay. You grabbed his collar and pulled him back down towards you, years of pent up longing finally surfacing. The kiss was sweet and tender, his love shining through. You wished that you hadn’t spent months apart and that you had been able to tell him how you felt earlier. But it turned out that you had been right all along; no matter what separate roads you and Cedric traveled down, you’d always find each other eventually.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[b612sunsets]

I'm not Christian, so I have no clue about Judas and Jesus. If I remember reading correctly tho, didn't Judas regret selling out Jesus to the Romans or am I mixing something up. Also, if Yohan is truly the Jesus equivalent, wouldn't a fake death situation be plausible? Idk. This show is messing with my mind

Hi luv! I'm not from any specific religion, although I believe in God, Jesus, Saints, angels (and consider myself their friend and love them), spirits, fairies, aliens, and basically everything until proven otherwise haha I have a very open mind and I don't think we're the only beings out there or that there aren't amazing, inexplicable and bigger things than us. So I don't think I can answer your question very reliably, I would recommend you talk about it with one of our dear fandom friends @xxcaribbean that can give you a more correct answer. But I did a little research and I found this site if you're interested to read, it says "When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders." so Judas apparently regretted having betrayed Jesus. Anyways, I'm of the opinion that Gaon wasn't Yohan's Judas. He betrayed Soohyun and the professor's trust first by siding with Yohan. And then he left Yohan's side but didn't betray him or anything like that yet. And I think he won't!

[bratkook]

clairvoyant. (m) part ten.

 masterlist

pairing: jungkook x reader , taehyung x reader word count: 21.3k genre: smut, angst, fluff warnings: mentions of violence (jungkook gets decked), a series of very unfortunate events happen to jungkook i’m sorry lol, its cute at the end tho, penetrative sex, nothing too crazy  author’s note: hi i know this is like very overdue...but the writers block was gnarly with this chapter. nonetheless it’s here!! i’m gonna go bury my head under sand now that this is finished bc i can’t believe i actually finished this story...anyways i hope you enjoyed it, pls let me know what you think of the series! byeee ily

“Hey,” Jimin snaps his fingers in front of Jungkook’s face, only making the boys nose crinkle up but otherwise not stirring him from his slumber. Hazy dreams consisting of the potential child that could have been, wrapped up in a white blanket, cloud his mind too much to hear Jimin’s attempt to wake up.

“Wakey wakey.” He pats your cheeks this time, his fingers pressing into your face and squishing your cheeks until your lips are puckered out. On the flip side you’re too tired out to dream, your mind playing a nice little montage of pure white noise, showcasing that your brain was currently out of service.

To be fair, Jimin had given the two of you more than enough time to wake up on your own terms but he had been sitting in his own home bored beyond belief while you two snoozed away and honestly, neither of you looked comfortable.

Jungkook was slouched into the couch, his butt near the edge while his head hung forward, you were contorted into a pretzel with your limbs sprawled in unnatural positions. Your head still lay resting on Jungkook’s lap, your neck tilting up at an angle that bordered on painful but your face looked at ease while Jimin squished it.

His fingers move from squishing your cheeks to pinching your nose because desperate times called for desperate measures.

He counts slowly and before he gets to nine, you let out a strangled gasp, your eyes shooting open as you aggressively swat in front of you, smacking Jimin’s hands off of your face as your lungs search for oxygen.

You’re half asleep still, not entirely sure what happened so when Jimin stares at you innocently, a fake look of concern on his face, you don’t catch on to his bullshit when he asks whats wrong.

“Jimin?” You mumble out, rubbing at your eyes weakly as you push yourself up into a sitting position. The muscles in your neck ache considering you had slept half lifted up on Jungkook’s thighs. Your hand digs into the still sleeping boy as you push up, more specifically his crotch, the pressure causing him to groan before his own eyes are fluttering open.

“What’s going on?” He rasps out, his face screwed up while he tries to blink the sleep away, the throbbing pain in his crotch being momentarily forgotten.

“Wow, so weird that you two woke up at the same time. An absolute mystery.” Jimin shrugs, an unconvincing smile on his plump lips, the piercing you gave him months ago glimmering at the action. “But now that you’re up, anyone want breakfast?”

As you slowly come to, the dull ache in your head reminds you of the bottle of wine you and Jungkook downed last night, and with that comes the feeling of relief once more.

Jungkook on the other hand had focused his blurry sight on the last remaining test still on the coffee table. The two of you had celebrated last night but there was still the slim, slim, chance that those two tests were duds. Jungkook liked to think he had some good karma saved up but the chain of events of the last few weeks had proven him otherwise. Now he was partially convinced that someone of a higher power had it out for him, but he would pray to whoever would listen to give him another stroke of luck with this.

He raises one weak hand, finger pointing at the cardboard box in a way that resembles a horror movie and when you and Jimin follow the line and you sigh as you realize it was in fact a horror movie, “Right, fuck. It’s fine, it’ll be fine.”

When your eyes look to Jimin, a look in them making it clear that he had to say some comforting words right now, and he can only muster up a pathetic, “Right.”

Jungkook chuckles under his breath when you scoff, reaching out with his hand to rest on your shoulder to comfort you, “Yeah it’ll be fine, do you uh–“ he pauses slightly, not wanting to push his luck once more, “do you want me to go with you again?”

Jimin is merely an observer, his butt rested on his coffee table as his eyes flicker back and forth between you two, acting like shy teenagers as if Jungkook hadn’t blown his load in you, resulting in the pregnancy test drama of last night. 

Cute.

“No, I think i’ll be fine alone this time.” You turn to fully face him for the first time this morning and when you smile at him Jungkook smiles back. His eyes are puffy and his hair is ruffled up on one side and completely flat on the other, in return, you still have traces on your face of whatever makeup you hadn’t cried off, your hair tangled together at the side of your head. The two of you look like absolute messes but theres a small glow of happiness around the two of you.

“Im thinking eggs & bacon, do we agree?” Jimin speaks up, breaking the small staring match you two had going. He would’ve let you continue, really he loved watching the lovey dovey heart eyes or whatever, but his stomach was growling and the way you two are acting along with that has the tiniest twinge of nausea curling in his gut.

“Do you have hash browns?”

Jimin can only scoff, pulling out his phone to add as much hash browns as Jungkook’s heart desired, “Baby, its uber eats I can get you all the hash browns you want.” He reaches out and pats his cheek gently, “Don’t you worry.”

When Jungkook places a hand over his chest in dramatics, you reach over and grab the remaining test, wanting to leave the bromance swirling in the air. As your hands curl around the cardboard the initial nerves and pure panic you felt last night was missing, you had been reassured twice that you weren’t and you were blocking out the fact that todays test could be different.

You weren’t going to be a mother. Jungkook wasn’t going to be a father.

As you walk over to the bathroom Jimin watches you from the corner of his eyes as he fills out the order on his phone, he knew your breakfast favorites so he didn’t have the need to ask you.

The second he deems you far away enough his eyes look up at Jungkook and the boy looks nervous, his teeth nibbling on his bottom lip as his eyes bounce from staring at Jimin’s phone to the now closed bathroom door. It’s evident that Jungkook is no longer nervous about the idea of you being with child, no his nerves were on royally fucking this up a second time, because thats apparently what he did best.

Jungkook jumps slightly when Jimin places his hand on his bouncing knee, a reassuring smile on his face as he stares at him, “Relax Thumper, just don’t be an idiot and you’ll be fine.”

The look Jungkook throws his way has Jimin laughing, don’t be an idiot right like he had done such a good job before.

“Right, sorry. Just–“ he sighs and completes the order on the phone, “be honest with her man. I know you mean well but don’t be naive enough to think all you need to do is bat your eyes at her and she’s yours.”

In theory, Jungkook knows this, he knows that just because you two had cleared the air last night didn’t necessarily mean everything was golden now. He wanted to properly make amends, properly confess to the way he was feeling after having it bottled down and shoved so far down his throat he was surprised he could even speak. But he didn’t really want to do it over breakfast while Jimin watched the entire exchange go down like his favorite movie.

When you exit the bathroom with a giant smile at being confirmed once again that you were not pregnant, he can’t even get himself to match your cheers of glee as you clap, Jimin standing up and joining in on your frolicking, the two of you twirling around like school children playing games.

The only thing on Jungkook’s mind is last night, how thanks to the wine you were so quick to deny being with Taehyung even though it was half true, telling him he’s on thin ice but somewhat forgiven. He’s absolutely stumped on what is and what isn’t okay in terms of acting.

But the more he thinks of it the more he feels queasy, so he forces the thought away, focusing instead on the breakfast placed in front of him by Jimin, hoping the hash browns he had asked for were enough to settle his nerves.

You take note of Jungkook’s behavior, how he’s quiet as he pushes his food around with his fork, lost in his mind while you and Jimin joked around sat at his dining table. His ears only tune in near the end once Jimin states he has to leave.

“Wait why?” Jungkook mumbles out, pushing his half finished breakfast away from him as he stares at Jimin, already stood up and tossing the containers away.

“Damage control, my parents are pretty pissed we ditched their event so I need to go make amends before they cut me off.” He mimics a scissor cutting motion with his fingers, trying to make light of the situation but you can only cringe at his words, covering your face with your palms as you remember the slight scene you had caused.

You had surely did it now, crying in the hallway of some fancy event and only solidifying the hatred you knew his mom had for you.

“Im sorry.” You mumble behind your hands, dragging them down your face as you frown.

Jimin waves you off with a roll of his eyes, slipping on his leather jacket and pulling out his phone, “Don’t be, it’ll be fine. You guys can stay here if you want to.”

You sigh and begin cleaning up your mess as well, “No, I think I’ve used up my allotted time for refuge for the entire week.” The slight guilt you felt from last night not allowing you to overstay your welcome even though you knew that there was no such thing with him but Jimin had done enough for you already, you couldn’t hide in his apartment all day.

“Yeah, I should probably go too.” Jungkook speaks up, if you were leaving he wanted to go with you, desperately wanting some alone time when neither of you were inebriated to properly talk.

As you say your goodbyes and order the uber Jungkook’s nerves take over once more, standing in relative silence on the sidewalk as you wait for the car. He can see the way you stare at him in curiosity, your hands clasped in front of you as you wonder what was clouding his mind so much to turn him into this.

It only gets worse when you get into the car, and once he sees the campus approaching in the distance he feels that same anxiety seize his throat, wrapping around his tongue and weighing it down. His window of opportunity was minimizing, slowly slipping out of his grasp because he was too tongue tied, too nervous to say the wrong thing again.

It’s not until you two step out and onto the pathway leading towards the center of campus that he forces his mouth to start moving, “Wait–“ he practically chokes out, his tongue remembering how to form words after being held captive by his nerves.

He doesn’t even notice he had reached out and grabbed onto your shoulder in an attempt to stop you from walking away after saying goodbye. A curious smile is on your lips as you stare at his hand and follow it up to his face, the typical Jungkook look on it that softens you up.

When you raise your brow up in question he forces himself to sputter out the rest of his sentence, “Do you maybe want a coffee, you know, for old times sake?”

He finally feels his body relax when the smile doesn’t leave your face, a tiny nod of your head easing his nerves further, “Sure, I promise not to toss it this time.”

Jungkook matches your smile, “Deal.”

He shoves his hands into his jean pockets, inching away from you backwards towards the cafe, a tiny grin on his face as he motions you over with a flick of his head. He continues to step away, his strides getting wider when you start to follow him, a teasing lift of his lips that only increases when he speeds up, a laugh spilling out of him when he sees you run after him to catch up.

Your arm hooks around his when you reach him, a similar laugh leaving you when he knocks his hip in to yours, the two of you walking in calm silence up the path. Its still relatively early in the day, and considering it’s a Sunday the majority of students are still in bed nursing hangovers from the night before so everything around you seems untouched. The colored leaves on the floor laying in piles along the stoned path, the occasional squirrel shooting past in a haste to get to the next tree, not at all what you’re used to seeing on campus.

Its such a stark contrast from the chaotic events of last night, the both of you getting a chance to actually breathe, the small sense of normalcy returning and you didn’t realize how much you missed it until this moment, how much you missed just being around Jungkook in a casual setting.

Unfortunately that tiny taste of serenity doesn’t last for long, the minute the two of you step into the cafe, your arm still locked around Jungkook’s, you feel his body tense up instantly. His eyes lock onto Jisoo’s as she’s stood behind the counter, her lips pulled together tightly as she tries her best to keep a neutral face for the sake of her job, but when she sees the way your arm is holding onto his she can’t control the way her brows pinch on her forehead.

“Oh man.” Jungkook groans, stepping further into the building and you have enough sense to unhook your arm to prevent the situation from taking a turn for the worst.

“Hi, welcome to Java Brew, what can I get you.” She speaks through gritted teeth, a forced smile on her face as she glances at Jungkook before looking directly at you. She looks like she wants to combust, maybe have the floor swallow her whole while taking one of you with her.

Neither of you were on her good side, with Jungkook rejecting her advances and you verbally coming to his rescue and calling her out in this exact shop, it’s not a shock when the same coworker as last time swoops in as he senses the tension and tells her to go to the back.

When she enters the employee back room, slamming the door and having it echo in the empty cafe the other worker sends you an apologetic look, “Sorry, she’s not having a good day. What can I get you?”

Jungkook feels his body relax now that there wasn’t a stare down happening, being able to list out both of your orders and paying with ease, the two of you slowly making your way to the furthest booth from the counter, wanting to remain hidden if Jisoo came back out.

By the time your drinks are brought to you Jungkook has built up enough courage to do what he wanted to do. His hands cup his drink cautiously, his lips rolling together as he watches you take a small sip of your own. It was now or never and realistically the worst that could happen was flat out rejection and he was willing to accept that, especially after everything that had transpired.

“Hey Y/N,” he softly speaks out, “look I know we barely got on okay terms last night but I need to be honest with you.”

Your eyebrows raise slightly at his words, setting your cup back down as you stare at him inquisitively, “Oh, honesty? Thats a big change from before, sure Jungkook.”

He knows your words are teasing, especially with the way you grin at him, a roll of his eyes being sent your way as his mind tries to wrap around the words he wants to say.

“I’m just going to go ahead and say everything I wanted to say that one morning.” His voice is stern, not towards you, almost to himself in an attempt to prevent him from chickening out.

“Okay.” Is your only response, taking another sip of your drink as he lets out a tiny breath of air.

“Okay.” He repeats, pursing his lips, “First off, I want to thank you, for being a good friend to me even when I clearly didn’t deserve it, for going out of your way and offering to help my inexperienced ass out.”

As much as you want to chime in with a teasing joke you swallow it down, seeing just how much he was struggling to find the right words.

“It probably doesn’t seem like much to you because thats just the kind of person you are so maybe you don’t notice it, but you’ve helped me bring out a side of myself that I’ve always wanted to show.”

He takes a second to breathe, sneaking a small glance at you and seeing a tiny smile on your face as you wait patiently, “I know I have moments where I’m still stuck in my shell but more often than not the moments I have where I feel like the person I want to be, its when I’m around you. And after everything that happened I’m so–“

The word dies on the way out when he watches as your eyes narrow at him and he already knows why, the apology hanging off his tongue being the culprit, something you told him you didn’t want to hear. So Jungkook shoves it back, stomping it down his throat with cleated shoes to prevent it from ever coming back up.

With a slight clear of his throat he continues like it never happened, “I don’t want to lie to myself or you anymore, the crush I have on you is still here, growing even and I’ve been wanting to ask you this for weeks now. If you think you feel anything for me, even the slightest bit, can I please take you out on a date. A proper one.”

Its starts as a flutter in your gut, the sensation spreading until the warmth in your cheeks gives away to how you’re feeling. Jungkook’s confession made you feel the way you thought it would, the nervous glint in his eyes but determination set in his tone had words of acceptance itching to fall from your tongue.

Thats when the flashes of Taehyung’s words ring in your ear, talk of going on dates and figuring out feelings echoing inside your mind. Jungkook can see your inner turmoil, your eyebrows creasing your forehead, your lips pursed in a way that shows him you’re holding back and he knows rejections coming. He can just feel it in his bones, a sad smile on his face as he just waits for you to say it.

“Oh Jungkook,” you sigh almost solemnly, a slight frown tugging down your lips as you stare at him, “had you told me this the morning of I would’ve said yes, instantly. I know I’m not officially with Taehyung but we’re kind of in the middle of figuring it out and I don’t think it’d be fair for anyones feelings if I try to juggle the both of you.”

It was the truth, as much as you knew where your feelings lied with both of them, you owed it to Taehyung to be honest with him, especially after everything he had done to try to prove his feelings. Although the two of you were navigating this rather blindly, jumping ship just because Jungkook had decided to finally own up to his emotions seemed too impulsive even for you, no matter how much you wanted to.

Jungkook understood, you didn’t owe him anything, but at least now he had that weight lifted off of his shoulders. Being able to speak his truth without letting other people’s off handed comments influence him made a small sense of pride bloom inside of him.

This wouldn’t stop Jungkook from nurturing the seed of a crush he had, now blossomed into the prettiest petals, it didn’t matter how much space it took in his chest. If and when things with you and Taehyung moved forward or fizzled out he’d like to think that you and him would remain okay regardless. That was good enough for him.

So as he walks you back to your dorm he doesn’t feel the sting of rejection he anticipated, being able to joke and talk to you like he used to, no longer worried about looking into your eyes because he knew the fire you had in them from before was long gone. He lets himself smile along to the way you laugh at a stupid joke he had told, his eyes crinkling up as he sees how your head drops forward as your laughter fills the air.

It was the obvious heart eyes he was currently sporting that allowed any onlookers to know just how he felt, and unfortunately for Jungkook one of those onlookers just so happens to be Kim Taehyung.

That streak of bad luck Jungkook thought was cleared after this morning seems to make a u-turn and head right back his way, full speed, with no intention of breaking.

Whoever must be in charge of Jungkook’s timeline of events must be cackling from up above when they see Taehyung glance up from his phone by chance. He was currently perched on one of the benches outside of your dorms, nerves causing him to overthink everything as he scrolled through his phone. 

You hadn’t responded to any of his texts last night, and neither had Jimin, so he had assumed the worst. He found himself stalking your socials and his friends’, checked the morning news for anything and then forced himself to calm down because the rational side of his brain told him that odds were you were drunk off your ass and asleep at Jimin’s.

The very last thing he expected to see was you walking up to your building, a giddy smile on your face, with Jungkook right beside you and those dumb heart eyes on his.

Taehyung is somewhat regretting not having gone up to your room to wait if you’d show up because the minute he sees Jungkook he’s seeing red. It’s almost a blessing that you or Jungkook don’t see the way he stands up from the bench and swoops in, firmly pressing his hands against Jungkook’s chest and shoving him a little harder than he might have intended.

Jungkook goes from looking at you to the world spinning around until his back collides with the floor in a nasty thud, the air leaving his lungs in a whoosh, the burning feeling of being winded only leaving him more confused as he lays on the floor.

“Oh my god!” Your voice sounds warped from the way his blood pounds in his ears, your head whipping to the side when you see the way Jungkook gets tackled in a blur.

Taehyung says nothing as he hops onto the boy with a grunt, straddling his chest and swinging once, his fist colliding with Jungkook’s jaw, his knuckles swiping his nose, leaving a burning trail in its wake. Instantly Jungkook knows it broke skin, with the coppery taste of blood filling his mouth and the warmth of it dripping down his nose it’s not hard to tell.

“Didn’t I tell you to stay the fuck away?” Is all Taehyung snarls out, no longer fighting, one punch was enough to get his point across. Instead he just rests his weight on Jungkook’s stomach, his jean clad knees digging into the concrete. 

The anger he feels slowly starts to fizzle out until his tunnel vision widens and he realizes Jungkook is merely laying underneath him without saying a word, a dazed look on his face from just having been pummeled into the ground.

“Are you kidding me?” You shout out, your brows pinched together as you move to stand behind him, scooping your hands under his arms and hauling his body off the freshman with all your strength.

Taehyung doesn’t resist, letting you stand him up and away while Jungkook groans on the floor, having to shake his head slightly to try to see straight.

He hadn’t even realized who had been the attacker until Taehyung spoke, this just confirmed that Jungkook would have definitely not been able to stand his ground against him if he was actually getting jumped. Jungkook might have the up on him in terms of muscle and strength but where Taehyung lacked in muscle he made up is quickness, along with pure determination and rage on his side, and that always won.

“Fuck..” Jungkook wipes at his face, effectively smearing the blood around and making it worse, he pulls his fingers away from his face and see the mess on them. At least this time the shirt he was wearing was black.

“Taehyung,” you snap, twirling him around in your grasp and having to cup his face to get him to stare at you since he kept glaring at Jungkook, “what the hell was that for?”

His eyes immediately soften when he stares at you, even though you look absolutely livid his heart still melts at the way your nose scrunched up as you glared at him, anger swirling around in your eyes.

“Honestly, just had to get that out of my system.” He shrugs like its no big deal and has the audacity to try to go in for a kiss as if he hadn’t just plowed Jungkook down like a wrestling match. His eyes open up once his lips meet air when you dodge it and he frowns, “What?”

When you say nothing he sighs in defeat, eyes moving back over to Jungkook when the boy groans to life and starts to haul himself up, his hand coming to cradle his jaw, turning his head to spit out the blood in his mouth in a grimace.

“Fair, I think I’ve had that coming.” Jungkook speaks with a wince when his fingers touch his nose, thankful that his track record hadn’t resulted in it breaking, yet.

Taehyung motions out with his arm to prove his point and you sigh when you look back at him, seeing the innocent look on his face, “Is he bothering you?”

“Bothering me? What?”

“Yeah,” he leans in closer as Jungkook finally stands up, “I mean, why else is he with you...” he trails off, curiously turning his head to stare at Jungkook. The younger boy was a shit liar and pretender, all it took was one sharp stare for the guilt to be written all over his face. Taehyung could see that Jungkook had done something, what it was though he had yet to find out.

As much as you didn’t want to tell Taehyung about last night you felt like you owed him that much since you were loosely dating. However, you really didn’t want to tell him out in public after he had knocked Jungkook onto his ass once already.

“Its a long story, I’ll tell you inside.”

Taehyung wasn’t this alpha male that wanted to have a claim over you, he had just set Jungkook straight for the disrespect, but the slight guilt was growing inside of him when he sees the defeated look on the younger boy’s face. He was unaware that you and him had talked it out briefly so when he saw him strutting up with you after he had told him to stay away it seemed like he was pushing his luck. As he looks around and sees the tiny crowd that had gathered to watch what they thought would be a beat down he realizes he might have crossed a line.

Jungkook was currently using Jimin’s borrowed shirt to wipe the blood off his face, his arm waving you off when he saw the look of concern on it, “Really, I’m fine. I don’t blame him.”

“I’m sorry Kook.” You weakly respond, stepping towards him to make sure he was okay but he stops you, a shake of his head as he looks at Taehyung again. The last thing he needed was Taehyung swinging a second time because you had checked up on him.

When he wipes at his nose once more he hisses when he feels the burn of whatever skin had broken open, “Don’t worry about it, I’ll see you in class.” He doesn’t wait for a response, feeling a tiny bit of embarrassment at just being pummeled in front of you after you had a decent night, all things considered, and a pretty nice morning. Somehow the morning after never seemed to work in his favor.

You watch as Jungkook’s silhouette gets smaller in the distance, Taehyung finally relaxing when he can no longer see him, turning to you and taking the lead to walk into your dorm.

He wraps his arms around you, resting his chin on your head as you shuffle inside, his arms squeezing you until you’re laughing instead of trying to push him away, succeeding in momentarily distracting you of the small beating he had done. Joy just gives you a wave as you two walk on by, your arms digging into Taehyung’s side to get him to release you since his hold had become crushing.

Tae just laughs when you shove him away forcefully, his back hitting the side of the elevator as you gasp for air dramatically, “Jesus, you trying to strangle me?”

“Aren’t you into that?”

You scoff and press the elevator button for the second floor, “Usually not like that.”

He steps towards you again with a goofy smile, his large palm spreading open as he guides it to your throat like he knew you liked, “Oh, baby don’t worry I know how to do that.” He gingerly wraps it around you, pressing into your skin with a smirk on his face when your mouth drops open slightly in shock at the audacity he had.

He steps closer to you, his hand still on your throat as he looks down at you. But as he leans down, just about to press his lips to yours its never comes, your hand pulls his palm away from your neck as you step further away from him, “You think I’m gonna kiss you after that?” You question, your eyes narrowing at him and he gulps, not knowing if you were being serious or not but the elevator dings, the door sliding open.

“C’mon.” You shrug, stepping out of the elevator and waving him towards you. His long strides match yours, grabbing your hand and tugging you along in an attempt to lighten the mood. Success ringing in his head once more when he hears you giggling softly as you stumble behind him, but he only tugs you faster until you’re forced to keep up. It’s a playful race to your room, just for the sake of making a challenge out of it but Taehyung’s legs are too long and you’re barely able to keep up with his pace as he drags you along chaotically.

“You’re like fucking bambi.” Taehyung laughs out as you collide with his back when he reaches your door and stops abruptly.

“Dude, you’re hauling my ass around.” You swat at him before pulling out your room key, he takes it from your hand and slides it into the compartment until your door clicks open.

He’s expecting to walk in and see your room mate knocked out on her side but its spotless, her sheets neatly folded and the ever present sticky note pressed against your desk, announcing that she’d be gone most of the day cramming with her study group. You could picture Wendy now, a big gulp size of coffee in front of her and her jumbo framed glasses sitting on her face as she scrambles through her notes.

“So,” you start, facing Taehyung as he makes himself beyond comfortable on your bed, “you want to go ahead and tell me why the hell you decided to tackle Jungkook down like a wrestling match?”

Taehyung scoffs in disbelief, “You wanna tell me why you guys were chillin together all buddy buddy when you were icing him out just yesterday?”

“Not really.” You mutter out under your breath, setting your bag on top of your desk and slipping out of your shoes. You knew you had to tell him though, if things seriously progressed with Taehyung you’d feel guilty having never told him what transpired in the early stages of this.

“Does this require me tackling him down again?” He implores, a stupid grin on his face.

“No, definitely not. Please don’t ever do that again, need I remind you you’re not exactly on the administrations good graces, if you get caught fighting you’ll be kicked out Taehyung.”

He waves you off without a care, if Taehyung was kicked out it would be a blessing in disguise.

“I won’t, now can you tell me whats up? You look like you wanna barf.”

A laugh reaches his ears as you shuffle onto the bed with him, choosing to face him fully as you sat with your back towards the end of your bed.

“You should’ve seen me last night.”

His eyes widen up, a smile accompanying it, “Oh my god, did you and Jimin get shit faced? Did you finally destroy the stupid ice sculpture they always have?” Taehyung’s mind is already going into overdrive as he tries to mentally calculate the amount of money in damages you and Jimin could have theoretically caused but then he pauses. 

How did Jungkook fit into this?

“I wish we got shit faced.” Your voice lowers in tone, your fingers deciding to pluck at the exposed thread on your comforter, “We kind of had to leave early because I was having a panic attack.”

Taehyung just tilts his head in curiosity, choosing to remain silent because he still didn’t know how Jungkook came into the picture, how you having a panic attack at Jimin’s parents event resulted in you and Jungkook getting coffee this morning. It all seemed like a riddle and Taehyung really didn’t want to have to guess his was through it.

“I kind of thought I was pregnant last night.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell me anything, should I go get a test?” The look on your face shuts him up entirely once more, the realization hitting him at once when he understands. It all makes sense now, Jungkook slotting into the missing piece, “Oh...it was?”

“Jungkook’s yeah.”

Its quiet for a moment, Taehyung briefly wondering if you were in fact pregnant with his room mates child and thats why you two had decided to make amends. His gaze lands on your stomach, wishing he could see through the fabric of your shirt.

“Are you?”

Your eyes practically bulge out when you look up at him, “No! No, I’m not.”

Taehyung joins in on your nervous laughter, finally feeling like he could breathe,  “Poor kid,” he jokes, his hand running through his hair as he laughs, “I bet he was in a hurry to tell you it wasn’t his or something huh?”

A frown replaces the smile on your lips and Taehyung catches it right away, the scrunch in your brows as you almost look offended by his comment, “No actually. He was very supportive, he was ready to replan his entire life and let me have the baby if thats what I wanted.”

Taehyung hadn’t been expecting that, he hadn’t thought the boy who had pretended you two weren’t friends anymore would be ready to become a dad after one night together. Hell Taehyung hadn’t been ready to become a dad the last time you had a pregnancy scare, he wasn’t sure he ever would be ready.

“Are you guys relieved then or?” He couldn’t gauge the tone, usually one would be ecstatic over not being pregnant but you just seemed nonchalant about it all. You sat on your bed like you had so much more you had to say and it makes him a little nervous.

“Of course we are, I’m not ready to be a mom just yet and Jungkook, as supportive as he was, isn’t ready for a kid either. We weren’t even talking before last night so can you imagine?” You try to tease but the tone drops too much for him to play along because he knows what he has to do.

Taehyung just studies your face for a minute, the way you’re refusing to look into his eyes as you talk to him. He knows more went on between you and Jungkook, a pregnancy scare was not the sole reason you two were walking back to campus with the biggest smiles on your faces.

He knew of Jungkook’s crush on you and it seemed like you knew now too, the guilty expression on his face couldn’t be hidden even behind the small trails of blood and it spelled it out for him.

“Can I ask you something?” Taehyung whispers out, waiting until you finally look into his eyes and nod before speaking again, “If Jungkook hadn’t done what he did after Halloween, would this,” he motions between you two, “be a thing?”

“Thats not fair to ask.” You defend, a blank look on your face.

“Yes it is Y/N.”

“No it’s not Taehyung, if that wouldn’t have happened with Jungkook you wouldn’t have confessed and you know that.”

He sighs, sitting up higher on your bed and reaching for your hands gently, “But would you have wanted me to? I remember the night of the party after it all happened Y/N, the way you were acting wasn’t just because Jungkook stopped being a friend.”

“Its–“

“No, it’s fine Y/N. I know you’ve liked Jungkook for a while now, you can admit it. Please admit it, because acting like you don’t isn’t helping anyone.” He pauses to take a breath, his fingers still rubbing your knuckles in his grasp, “But as much as it hurts to know, I need you to tell me if you’re only pursuing things with me just because of what Jungkook did.”

It feels like theres a lump in your throat that you can’t swallow, and as much as you don’t want to cry again you can feel the slight sting in your eyes. “I like you Taehyung.”

He laughs, a gentle laugh that lets you know he isn’t upset, “I know you do babe, but do you like me as Taehyung your potential boyfriend or Taehyung your good friend.”

He can see the gears churning in your head, your eyes focused on his fingers instead of his face again, “Do you like me as much as you like Jungkook.” Is the final blow he gives, the way your face falls is answer enough for him but he needs to hear you say it for his own sanity.

“Taehyung.” You breathe out, finally looking into his eyes with a defeated expression.

“It’s okay if you don’t know.” He lets go of your hands now, “but I think you’d be doing yourself a disservice if you didn’t try to find out.”

He moves to get up from your bed and you reach for him when he finally stands, your hand wrapping around his arm and keeping him next to your bed, the earlier conversation with Jungkook coming back, “That’s not fair to you.”

Taehyung shrugs solemnly, “It’s not fair to you if I expect you to be with me regardless of how you might feel for someone else. I’ll always be here and you know that.”

“I love you Taehyung.” You mumble out with a small frown, your heart only twisting more when he laughs as if he’s not hurt.

He knows when you say you love him it’s not in the way he wants it to be, you love him as a friend, you love the Taehyung that would go out with you until 3am, the Taehyung that forces you to blow up prints of his ass. Not as the Taehyung who wanted to introduce you to his parents, who wanted to have you be his phone background. But he could live with that.

“I love you too Y/N.” He leans down to press a kiss against your forehead, giving you a final smile before pulling away from your grasp and leaving the room. It’s not until the door shuts behind him that he feels his resolve cracking, the small smile he had forced onto his face falling off. This was definitely not the way he thought the morning would go. He felt a little naive in thinking he could ease you into feeling the same way he did, especially when he already knew how you felt about Jungkook.

Maybe that was why he had been so hell bent on making sure Jungkook knew to stay away from you, knowing how easy it would be for him to win you over if he had to chance to talk to you. Taehyung and your relationship seemed doomed to fail from the beginning and it stung a little more when he realized that he was the only person who hadn’t seen it coming.

The buzzing from your back pocket makes you jump, the nerves you currently have only aiding in your heart pumping erratically. You set the coffee down on the bench beside you as you pull out your phone.

Jimin 7:56am : Don’t pussy out.

You glare at the phone, wishing he could see your face through the device. Don’t pussy out? Really. Thats sound advice but what else could you expect from Park Jimin.

The phone gets shoved back into your pocket as you grab the coffee once more and continue walking to your morning class. You had a plan set, Jungkook was always early to this lecture but you hoped the seat beside him was still open, at least for today.

It had been a few days since the pregnancy scare but it feels like it happened so long ago, the roller coaster of emotions that coursed through you during that night and the morning after had been such an over load for you. Jungkook and you hadn’t spoken in between it all, he said he’d see you in class so thats what you were going to do.

When you enter your building the chatter of students roaming around before their class fills the space. A familiar set of eyes spots you when you enter, a smile lifting his lips when he looks down at his own hands and spots the same coffee you most likely carry as well. He’s a good distance away from you, having chosen to sit at a table in the main room of the building instead of inside the classroom but now that he’s spotted you he gets up as well.

Once you enter your class you see that Jungkook isn’t here but his usual desk mate is, she’s sitting in her spot with her notebook spread out as she scribbles on it. Your plan had met a tiny hitch in the road but its surely something a charming smile could fix. She only looks up when you’re stood directly in front of her, a subtle clear of your throat getting her attention.

“Hi.” You grin in the friendliest way you can muster, “I know we’ve never spoken but do you mind if we switch seats for the day?”

Her eyebrow cocks up, a little confused by your odd request, “Oh uh, sure?”

“Great! Thank you, I sit up there.” You point with your pinky towards the top, right beside Jackson who’s currently staring at you like you’ve grown a third head, “He’s single and flirty so have fun.”

A blush tints her cheeks as she packs up her stuff with a bit of excitement at sitting next to another cute boy and when Jackson sees her making her way up the steps he can’t find it in himself to be upset because the girls cute too, shooting you a sly thumbs up as he fixes his hair up.

“Thats not your seat.”

The voice startles you, nearly dropping the drinks as you try to sit down in your new seat. Jungkook chuckles at your flustered state, setting his drinks down onto his own desk before sliding into his seat.

“I know it’s not, I can move if you want.” You tease, your eyes widening when they land on the identical cups of coffee he also has. Looks like the two of you had the same plan.

“Please don’t.” Jungkook slides into his own seat, sheepishly smiling when he stares at your drinks as well. “Am I being bold by assuming one of those is for me?”

“No,” you laugh, your fingers toying with the lid of your cup, “I think we both had the same idea tho.”

He just smiles widely as he hands your coffee over, “Fine by me, I drink two cups in the morning anyways.”

The both of you swap drinks, ending up with two of the same on your desks but the action makes you feel somewhat giddy inside, hiding your smile behind your cup as you take a sip.

“Why are you sitting here though, really?” He asks softly as he sips his coffee, his wide eyes glancing around the room and seeing the students slowly start to fill it up.

“Just wanted to sit next to you today, can we talk after class? I have something I need to tell you.”

That instantly makes Jungkook nervous, his stomach turning and making him stop drinking his coffee. There was something you needed to tell him...that could go in so many different directions.

You take note of his anxious face and try not to laugh as you drink your coffee, “Nothing bad I swear.”

“Okay,” he hesitates, biting around his straw, “sure.”

Jungkook can honestly say anything said during the entire lecture went in one ear and out the other. His brain was too busy exploring the different scenarios regarding why you wanted to talk after class. A million and one different options came to mind but he couldn’t find himself thinking any of them would be good for him.

Maybe you were going to tell him you two couldn’t be friends anymore after Taehyung had slammed him into the concrete. Or maybe the realization that you two almost had a baby had sunk in and when the smoke cleared you came to terms with the fact that Jungkook was a horrible potential partner and friend so you would be kicking him to the curb.

“Jungkook?”

His eyes are glazed over as he stares at the floor, his lips pursed in thought while his mind ran like a tiny hamster on a wheel.

“Jungkook.” You try again, reaching out and patting his cheek with your palm, smiling when his eyes blink back to the present. “You were up in the clouds.”

His eyes stare at you for a moment before roaming the room, only a handful of students remain packing up their belongings while Jungkook, who normally bolts out, stays seated for the first time in forever.

“Sorry.” He mumbles with a grin, finally coming into motion and stuffing his notebook into his bag. “Where did you wanna go?”

You patiently wait for him, your hip resting on the side of his desk, “We can go to that crepe place you showed me near campus?”

His face brightens up at the mention of it, standing up with a smile as he hooks his backpack over his shoulders, “Okay! C’mon.”

In a turn of events it’s now you who’s full of nerves as you and Jungkook walk off campus, fiddling with your hands in front of you while you made small talk, the tiny nervous habits he had picked up on coming out to play but he doesn’t comment on it.

He forces himself to not overthink anything again, not allowing his self sabotaging comments to derail anything, for all he knew you wanted to talk about possibly having secret santa since Christmas would be approaching soon.

Even as the two of you step into the crepe shop, placing your orders and taking a seat at a small table in a corner he doesn’t speak first, he just sits there with a small smile as he watches the way you scrape the polish off your fingernails. 

“I’m really sorry about Taehyung,” Is what you blurt out, his smile falling from his face as he remembers being body slammed onto the ground with passing students watching in shock. Those were excellent first words for diving into this conversation.

“Please-” he chokes, thankful that your food gets brought out at that moment, “please don’t mention it. I’m okay, see, no bruises.” He motions to his face with a forced smile, eventually melting into a real one once more when he sees the way you start to giggle.

“Okay, sorry. I’ll pretend it never happened then?” Your pitch raises at the end and he nods in agreement. Pretending it never happened was fantastic, maybe it would help him forget as well.

“So was that why you asked to hang out?”

“No.”

Jungkook just blinks at you, slow and practiced, his mind displaying an error screen because he was at a loss. His mouth opens and closes once and you pity him, knowing he really doesn’t know how to respond to your vague answer.

“Is this about secret santa then?”

That has you at a loss too, your head tilting at him, “What?”

“Nothing.” He deflects, cutting up his banana and nutella crepe and stuffing it into his mouth just as quickly. It makes you laugh, your nerves momentarily fizzling out until it falls silent once more, the sound of his munching filling the empty space.

“Remember that conversation we had at the cafe before, you know.” You wave off, seeing him lick his lips and nod in confirmation, he definitely remembered that. Spilling his emotions out to you and getting a reality check in the form of rejection in return.

“Yeah,” he breathes out, pursing his lips as he stares at your untouched strawberry covered crepe, “sorry if it made you uncomfortable.”

“Jungkook, no, it didn’t. I just-” you wipe your sweaty palms on your thighs, begging your courage to not slip between your clammy fingers, “I was wondering if I could...maybe change my answer.”

The beeping computer noises in his brain quiet at that, his lips pushing out further in confusion, not wanting the excitement of the possibility that you might change your answer from a no into a yes to take over his rational thinking.

“But I thought you said no because of Taehyung?”

The slight sting of remembering Taehyung’s sad face flashes through your mind and you fidget in your seat uncomfortably.

“I did, but Taehyung and I had a conversation about all of it and we ended things.”

Jungkook frowns at that, not feeling the happiness he thought he would. He hoped it wasn’t because Taehyung had given him a gnarly right hook, he didn’t want that altercation to be what came between the two of you, “Wait, why?”

It was time for you to be honest, Jungkook had given that to you and considering these feelings had been clouding your mind ever since October, you owed it to yourself to finally admit to still having them. “Because I realized that I really like you Jungkook, a lot.”

He sets his fork down, letting the words process and fully sink in. The first inkling of happiness starts to creep up his spine, he feels a little bad that you and Taehyung ended things, especially because of him, but he can’t deny his feelings. 

The nerves you felt start to dissipate when you see his lips stretch into a smile, his wide eyes almost sparkling as he stares at you with hints of excitement that match the way you feel inside.

“Really?” He almost whispers, leaning forward in his chair as if you two are sharing a forbidden secret.

A grin is sent his way as you mimic his actions, leaning over in your own seat to meet him halfway, “Yes really, so is that offer for a date still on the table?”

“Of course it is.”

You sit straight in your seat again, finally cutting in to your food now that you didn’t feel like puking out of nerves. Jungkook feels like things were going in his favor once more, maybe his good karma just took a while to kick in, the string of unfortunate events just being hurdles to test his patience. 

“So, secret santa huh?”

He hums as he chews his food, wagging his fork at you as he swallows, “Don’t tell me you guys don’t do it?”

You stab through a strawberry as you think it over, you had actually never participated in secret santa before but it did seem like a fun exchange, “Can’t say we have, theres a first time for everything though.”

Jungkook wonders if your friend group would be civil with him if things with you progressed, sure Jimin seemed to be on okay terms with him but then again if Taehyung had plowed him down and Yoongi had sat him down for a talking, how the rest of them would act was currently a big mystery. Maybe Jungkook would have some ass kissing to do, but for now he found it was best to focus on ensuring your future date went exactly the way he wanted it to.

“I’m gonna need a detailed list of your favorite foods.”

That makes you laugh before you bring your food to your mouth, “Really, why?”

He just shrugs, “Because I want it to be perfect.”

Wendy sighs as she’s stood in front of you, her fingers gripping your jaw as she forces you to stop fidgeting in your chair.

“Can you stop!” She snaps, giving up on trying to apply your eyeliner. The last thing she needed was the right side to end up looking like a tribute to her emo days, raccoon eyes and all.

“Sorry, it tickles.”

She snorts at that, knowing that wasn’t the only reason you were wiggling around like a toddler. “Oh really, thats the only reason why?”

Your eyes flutter open at her teasing tone, knowing better than to open them all the way because if you transfer your eyeliner onto your lid you know Wendy will smack you.

“Yes you whore, why else.”

She blows you a kiss at the endearing nickname, motioning for you to shut your eyes again to finish up the eyeliner. Wendy waits until she flicks the wing, biting down on her lip as she forces herself not to say what she wants to say until the chance of ruining your makeup is in the clear.

You feel her fanning your face, your brows pinching together as she remains quiet for another moment.

“Because you’re nervous, you’ve had it bad for the greek god for a long time okay don’t front.” Her tone is confident and it makes you scrunch your face up.

“What is with you and comparing these guys to Jesus and greek gods, they really don’t need their egos inflated Wendy.”

Her laughs fills the room as she moves on to coating a pair of false lashes with glue, resting her butt on the edge of your desk as she waits for it to get tacky. “Oh hush, you know I’ll never say it to their faces.” She gives the lashes a blow, curving them in her grasp to help them shape to your lid easier, “Either way stop changing the subject, you’re way more nervous about this date than you were for your date with McDreamy.”

You couldn’t deny that, the jitters running through your body, your mind running through how the night would play out, the slight tingle in your lips when you wondered if Jungkook would be the type to kiss you good bye when the date was finished. Those were all the things that were missing last time.

“You seem to be rooting for this despite you claiming he was a pig last time Wendy.” You bite back, being defensive was your coping mechanism.

She hums as she starts to apply your left eyelash, securing the inner corner and pushing them up so they wouldn’t droop over your eye once fully dry.

“I may have spoken prematurely, you only give me rundowns when shit get catastrophic okay.”

That much was true, even though you two were room mates and friends underneath it all, you rarely told her every single detail of your life. She was always busy with course work and you didn’t want to swamp her further with every minuscule thing. Which lead to you dumping everything on to her when it became too much.

So, after things with Taehyung fizzled out you came to her and laid it all out once more. Her and Jimin had been the ones to push you towards accepting Jungkook’s offer for a date after you had already declined.

“Either way, you’re deflecting. Just admit you’re nervous because you want this to work out.”

You remain silent as she applies your other lash, rolling your lips together and not opening your eye until she deems it safe to do so. When your eyes flutter open and meet hers you see the smug look she has on her face, she could read you like a book.

“Okay fine, I want this to work out so badly. But realistically, I don’t think there’s anything that can happen that can make me not enjoy this date.”

“Really, nothing?”

Your mind sorts through every possible scenario that could make this date a disaster and comes up blank, “Well, unless he calls me some other girl’s name-”

“Please,” Wendy laughs out, “the boy probably has a notebook page filled up with just your name. Oh my god, he probably writes Jeon Y/N and circles hearts all around it!”

“Stop!” You swat at her arm with a playful scowl on your face, “Don’t poke fun at him.”

That image was swirling through your head now, picturing Jungkook hunched over his desk during class or in the middle of studying and instead of taking notes he’d be scribbling your name into the corner of the paper. It makes a stupid smile spread across your face and Wendy chuckles when she sees it.

“You’re such a simp.”

“Okay, give me that.” You snatch the brush from her hands, going to apply your own makeup since she seemed determined to make you more flustered than you were. There was about twenty minutes left until you were set to meet up with Jungkook and if you kept getting distracted you’d end up running late and thats the last thing you wanted to do.

She raises her hands up in defense and lets you do your thing, choosing to approach your closet instead to help you pick out a shirt for tonight. You were hell bent on wearing the black high waisted jeans you had on because they made your ass look good and also hit your ankles just right so you could wear the cute chunky black heels you had just bought. Wendy pulls out a few shirts and holds them up beside you as you apply your bronzer, weighing out the options in front of her.

“Whats the vibe for today? Super classy or classy with a dash of slutty?”

You hum in thought, setting the bronzer down and moving on to the finishing touches, “Classy with a dash of slutty never fails...”

She agrees wholeheartedly, hanging up the second option and handing you the first one as you give your makeup a final check. When you grab the shirt from her an approving nod is sent her way, the black lace corset top was right on the edge of classy and slutty, perfect.

Even as you slip on the black wool coat, something you absolutely needed to ward off the cold December air, the jittery feeling inside of you doesn’t lessen. In fact it increases, more so when your phone vibrates with a text from the man of the hour.

Jungkook 8:27pm : I’m ready whenever you are (:

“Do you know where you’re going?” Wendy asks as she plops back down onto her bed, her hands crossed on her lap with a tiny smile on her face, pretty proud of her makeup skills.

“Not the exact place, I’m pretty sure it’s a Japanese restaurant because I’ve been bombarding him with sushi places.” You smile to yourself when you scroll through your thread with Jungkook, seeing the countless screenshots of restaurants in the area, surely he was overwhelmed by how many different places you had sent him but you wanted to give him options while still allowing yourself to be surprised.

Y/N 8:28pm : I’ll be down in like 2 minutes!

You pocket your phone again, analyzing your full outfit in the mirror and ruffling your hair as a final check. Wiping your palms onto your jeans you take a brief moment to think about how nervous Jungkook was, remembering the way he had acted before his date with Jisoo, how he had been so unsure of absolutely everything including his outfit. He had needed your guidance to calm down, needed your opinion on which shirt to wear, had he asked someone else for guidance tonight?

“Everything’s gonna be fine okay? By the way, do you need me to vacate the room for the night?” Wendy questions from her spot on the bed, her eyebrows wiggling at you through the mirror.

“No,” you laugh, with the fear of the pregnancy scare still fresh in your system you highly doubt the two of you will be in a rush to repeat the actions of that night, “you’re safe in this room.”

Wendy doesn’t fully believe you but she doesn’t argue, just agrees and gives you a quick hug before waving you out of the room with a massive smile, hoping just as much as you were that tonight went well.

Right as you exit your building you spot Jungkook, he’s sat on one of the benches by the front door, his hands folded over his knees as he stares off towards the middle of the quad. He only looks your way when he hears the soft clacking of your heels on the concrete and when he takes you in he feels his heart skip a beat.

He stands up from the bench in a swift motion, his dark hair fluffing on top of his head from his haste action. For a moment he says nothing, his eyes fully giving you a once over and admiring how beautiful you look, its only once he meets your eyes that his slight slack jawed expression turns into a sweet smile.

“Wow, you look beautiful.” He breathes out, his hands reaching for yours and bringing you in for a hug. His arms wrap around you easily, pulling you into his chest and giving you a squeeze that invades all your senses, warmth spreading throughout you when you feel surrounded in Jungkook.

“Thank you.” You mumble out, your own hand placed on his back, your fingers rubbing the material of his coat. As they trail up towards his shoulders they catch on something and you pull back slightly, your hands turning his body around without a warning, a small noise of question leaving Jungkook.

“Kookie, your coats on inside out.”

His eyes widen at that, craning his head around to see what you meant, “What, really?”

“Yeah,” you laugh out, your finger flicking the white tag by the collar as you bit your lip, trying not to laugh more when he whirls around as if he’ll get a better glimpse at it that way, “here take it off.”

He stops his moving instantly, standing still with slightly red cheeks as you help slide the black coat off of him. When his eyes catch on to the tag he feels more embarrassment fill his system, his first date jitters being the sole reason for the slight wardrobe mistake.

You found it endearing though, picturing him in such a haste to get out and meet you that he didn’t get a proper look at his coat, shoving his arms through it without a care just as he exited his room.

“There, all better.” You ease his arms back into the jacket, your hands adjusting the collar of it, leaving them placed on his shoulders as you stare up at him. Your close proximity has Jungkook gulping, his eyes flicking down onto your lips, desperately fighting the urge to kiss you. He wanted to do this right, do it respectfully, no matter how badly he wanted to plant one on your nude colored lips.

“Thanks,” he whispers out, his breath hitching in his throat when you lean up and press a soft kiss to the side of his cheek, the gentle smack of your lips on his skin only flusters him further, “we should get going to make the reservations.”

“Okay, let’s go.” You pull away with a satisfied smile, absolutely loving the effect you had on him, the shy Jungkook that had taken your heart captive being shown once more.

The cold air keeps you walking close to him, needing the extra body warmth to stop the chill from creeping into your bones. Because of this, every step you took left fluttering touches on your hand as his grazed it. Jungkook keeps his gaze forward, his lips pressed together lightly as he contemplated what to do. His fingers twitched at his side, slowly spreading apart until the courage grew inside of him and he was reaching out to clasp your hand with his.

His large palm envelopes yours easily, dwarfing it in comparison and it leaves you feeling secure. He notices the extra pep in your step, the soft swinging of your intertwined hands and he sneaks a glance over at you, a smile spreading across his face when he notices the giddy expression on yours.

Neither of you mention it, you just enjoy the innocent sensation of feeling connected as you walked together, nearing the awaiting car Jungkook had gone ahead and ordered.

Everything was going just the way he wanted it, the antsy feeling he had the day before that prevented him from getting a good nights sleep, the frantic texting between him and Eunwoo as he asked for help on his choice of restaurant had left him so anxious.

But all of it was worth it, especially when he sees the way your face absolutely lights up once the uber approaches the restaurant of the night. You had snuck it in between the large batch of others, having never been there before but heard so much about it, you were secretly hoping Jungkook had looked into it a little deeper.

“You got reservations for Urasawa?” You finally speak up, your head leaning towards Jungkook as you duck to look at the bright sign.

Jungkook feels a little proud to have caused the marvel in your voice as your wide eyes peer up at the building, bouncing over to him and showing the elation you had when he nods at you.

Once again, everything was going just the way he wanted it to.

The pair of you enter the restaurant with excitement evident in your faces, you take a moment to admire the dim interior while Jungkook approaches the host’s booth.

“Welcome, do you have a reservation?” The brunette woman questions, a smile on her lips as she taps onto the ipad in front of her.

“Yes, it should be under Jungkook for 9 o’clock.”

Its at that very moment that everything starts to slowly go downhill, the mirage of perfection fading out, the light trickling of the sand that wasn’t noticeable before becomes increasingly hard to ignore when it seems as if the floor continues to sink underneath him.

The final avalanche that buries him under comes in the form of a sympathetic smile from the hostess as she scrolls up and down on the reservations list, Jungkook’s name coming up short.

“Sorry sir, there’s nothing here for the name you provided. Is it under another name perhaps?” She tries to find a solution for him, seeing the growing desperation in his eyes as he turns his head over to look at you, seeing you blissfully unaware as you continue to eye the decor around the waiting area.

“Uh, n-no, it has to be under Jungkook.” His brows pinch onto his forehead as his fingers begin to nervously fidget on top of the counter. “Can you check again?” He pleads.

The hostess, which he learns is named Tera thanks to her name tag, nods immediately, going back onto the ipad and typing his name once more. Just like before it pulls up nothing so she goes as far as typing it in every form she possibly could, hoping a typo was the reason behind this reservation being lost.

“I’m sorry–“ she starts, her own hands becoming clammy as she realizes she’d have to be the bearer of bad news and ruin whatever date plans Jungkook currently had. She flicks over to tomorrows date and checks there, her eyes widening when she spots Jungkook’s name in the 9 o’clock spot he had mentioned. It seems as if whoever had booked the reservation for him had officially fucked up and slotted him in for the wrong date.

“Oh, I found it.” She cringes more when Jungkook looks relieved, maybe she shouldn’t have said it in that tone. “But it’s booked for tomorrow.”

He’s about ready to slam his head down onto the wooden counter attached to the booth, a concussion would be a hell of a lot better than wherever the hell this situation would take him. How could it possibly be booked for tomorrow, when he had called and made the reservation he had repeated the date and time about fifteen times, going as far as spelling out his name to avoid any possible confusions.

This was just concrete evidence that someone of a higher power really did have it out for him.

Tera must sense the complete despair Jungkook was currently going through, if the blank look on his face as he tried not to let out a scream didn’t spell it out, the way he tenses up when you finally approach him does. When you wrap your arm around him and gently nudge his side, asking if there was a hold up because the restaurant looked fairly busy, Tera decides to try to throw Jungkook a rope to prevent him from sinking further into the sand.

Jungkook is at a loss, not knowing how to break the news that the reservations you two had been excited for had been booked incorrectly and you’d have to settle going to Mcdonalds instead. So much for a perfect first date.

After frantically scrolling through the current customers seated she manages to find one table that just cleared up, it’s meant to be used by another customer in half and hour but by then she’ll be off the clock and they’ll just have to wait. She didn’t get paid enough for this.

“Perfect, if you could just follow me, I’ll lead you to your table.” She speaks up as if she hadn’t just told Jungkook his reservation was fucked.

Jungkook looks utterly confused as he stares at the hostess, seeing the way she’s trying her best to communicate through her eyes so you wouldn’t know what was going on. Unfortunately Jungkook is not fluent in telepathy but he knows enough to understand that she had just done him a solid, absolutely saving his ass from further embarrassment and giving him another shot at redemption.

He mutters out a thank you and follows behind her, subtly wiping the sweat that had accumulated on his forehead from the stress, finally getting a second to admire the interior much like you had earlier and he’s pretty glad he had chosen this restaurant.

Once Tera shows you both to your table, placing the menus in front of each seat she retreats back to her booth with another thankful glance from Jungkook. He pulls out your chair and scoots you in to your seat before sliding into his own with a grin.

“Can I be honest?” Jungkook asks with a sheepish smile as he toys with the edges of the menu.

“Sure.”

His eyes roam the selection of options, placing the menu back down to stare at you across from him, “I’ve never had sushi.”

Your curious stare turns into one of disbelief as you set your own menu down, leaning towards him slightly, “Jungkook we’re at a sushi restaurant.”

He simply shrugs his shoulders, “Well this is the best place to try it then huh?”

Well, you guess he’s not wrong. You dive in head first as you start to explain every item on the menu to the best of your abilities, questioning him on his likes and dislikes to be able to advise him on what he’d most likely enjoy eating.

Jungkook just sits there with a goofy smile, nodding along as you point to each item, his eyes switching over from your own eyes and then your lips, tracing the way they move as you talk.

He honestly wouldn’t mind it if he ended up totally hating sushi, he just wanted to make you happy and to properly spend time with you on a date that he had probably thought about way too many times. In the end, he lets you take the reins as you decide on one of the assorted plates, letting him get a taste of a few different options and if he liked any in particular you could just order more of it.

“I hope you like it.” You breathe out once the waiter leaves with your order, your fingers playing with edge of the table.

“I will, I eat almost anything.” That much was true, Jungkook wasn’t a picky eater by any means. He enjoyed seafood and judging the few plates that have gone by your table he can’t imagine he won’t enjoy it.

“So, how are things are your job?” He asks after taking a sip of his water, he had missed hearing about the random things you and Yoongi got into at work. Most of the time it was mindless editing on the computer, the occasional drama happening with entitled customers, but he lived for hearing about the days you assisted on shoots. The way your face lit up as you talked about your passion made him want to listen to you talk all day.

“Pretty good, one of our usual photographers who rents the space actually asked me to assist her on a location in a few weeks.” Your smile says it all, finally catching the eye of someone who’s work you actually admired, it helped ease the thought of you being a nobody after you graduated.

“Holy shit thats great, does she do the same style you’re into?” Something about the genuine excitement laced in Jungkook’s tone has you sitting in your seat a little higher, unloading every tidbit of information about the photographer you had.

Jungkook lets you rant, watching the way you move your hands around as you talk, his questions only fueling your fire of talking about your career finally blossoming. It flows from one topic to the next, mentions of Jimin and Yoongi being brought into the mix, the two of you avoiding talking about Taehyung and Jungkook’s dumb friends, until the topic switches once more when Jungkook mentions his workplace.

“Wait, since when do you have a job?” You ask just as your food gets brought out, an assortment of rolls laid on for you to choose from and you hold in a cheer when you see how delicious they all look.

Jungkook eyes them curiously, seeing the array of different colors, your question leaving his mind when he spots one with a black and yellow coloring. You watch the way he visually picks a roll and smile to yourself as you pick up your chopstick and grab onto the sushi roll of choice, bringing it up to his mouth, “It has shrimp tempura, avocado and cucumber.”

It takes no convincing for him to open his mouth for the train of food, chewing the roll and savoring the flavor as you analyze his reaction, hoping he enjoys it. Jungkook presses his lips together after he swallows, a thoughtful look on his face as he looks up for a moment, “I think I’m a sushi fan now.” He laughs out, smiling wider at the look of relief on your face.

“Try out the others too, this is my favorite.” You plop another roll onto the single dish in front of him, hoping he’d also enjoy the spicy tuna roll as well.

Jungkook pops it into his mouth with no hesitation, enjoying the slight heat this one had compared to the previous one. You eat the same roll as well, the two of you smiling at each other as you chewed, no longer anxious on if Jungkook would have to settle with eating teriyaki chicken if the sushi was a fail.

“Oh, I got a job last month–“ he finally answers when he swallows, “nothing fancy, I just work part-time at a clothing store not too far from campus.”

“Any reason why you chose to get a job now?”

He hesitates as he reaches for another roll of sushi, his chopsticks pausing in the air for a moment, “I just needed a reason to not be in my dorm.”

That didn’t need any further explaining, after knowing the atmosphere Taehyung had created in their shared dorm plus the rundown Yoongi had given you on Jungkook and his friends, it wasn’t a surprise that he was scrambling for a reason to not be in his room at all. Choosing to focus on his new job, doing all of his school work in the library instead of his dorm, and only retreating into his room to sleep, had become his new routine.

“Well, do you like it?” You try to deter the conversation away from bringing up the past string of unfortunate events.

“It pays good and we rarely get asshole customers so it’s alright. Either way it’s only temporary until I land an internship or something.” You gasp when you realize that meant Jungkook had finally decided on his major. He breaks out into a smile when he explains he decided on computer science, eager to get his general education over with so he could dive into the best parts of his major.

Now its your turn to fire off the questions, dying to see Jungkook as excited as you were when you talked about your job and it works, the two of you finishing up your assorted plate and ordering more of your favorites while Jungkook gushes about a start-up company he had shown interest in. Wanting to get a one up and already contacting them for a potential internship for the following year.

“Why are you in ceramics and creative writing if you always knew you wanted to get into software development?”

Jungkook can only grin at you as he picks at the extra rolls on the table, his stomach nearing on being full but he just can’t seem to get enough.

“I needed extra units and I actually really enjoy ceramics, plus creative writing could come in handy with the story aspect of things if I decide to branch into video game development.”

You set your chopsticks down, not being able to eat any more or your pants would surely pop open, Jungkook on the other hand finishes off the remaining rolls with a smile on his face, completely satisfied with his choice.

“I still have the ceramic mug you made me by the way.” You admit, your lips curling up as you recall the jumbo mug Jungkook had so kindly hand crafted just for you. It was currently sitting on the edge of your desk, exactly where you always put it after you had your morning cup on the days you didn’t have early morning classes.

“Really?” He wonders, a slight burst of something he can’t pinpoint going off inside of him. He finally sets his own chopsticks down after obliterating the food, stacking up the empty plates in the center of the table.

“Of course Kook, although i’m really glad you made it as big as I asked you, I think it’s contributing to my coffee addiction because now I feel like the cup isn’t big enough.”

He quickly tells you he’ll make you an even bigger one, smiling when you start to laugh over the mental image in your head. Really how much bigger could it be before the cup resembled an actual pot.

As the waiter swings by to clear off the plates Jungkook shyly orders mochi ice cream for the two of you to share, definitely not something you’d ever dream of declining so you settled further into the seat as the two of you continuing mindlessly chatting.

It’s not until motion coming from your left grabs your attention, successfully losing your train of thought when your eyes land on someone you thought you’d never see again. He’s being brought to his table, right next to yours and Jungkook’s, with a pretty blonde as his date. You hold no special feelings for this person, just a mindless hookup that happened before summer ended, but just knowing they were seated right there while you were on a date with Jungkook made you uneasy.

Jungkook catches onto your change, how you started to subtly tilt your head away from your left, framing your hand by your face to prevent someone from spotting you. If it wasn’t for the small gasp of realization he hears, followed by a semi obnoxious whisper of your name, Jungkook would’ve asked you what was wrong.

Instead his own head follows the sound of the voice, landing a mere 6 feet away from the table, the boy seated almost parallel to Jungkook but his attention was clearly on you and not his date.

“Y/N!” The stranger tries once more when you squeeze your eyes shut and try to pretend you couldn’t hear him. He was on a date for fucks sake, why the hell was he calling out your name like you were old friends, you two had barely even talked after you hooked up.

Jungkook continues to watch in slight concern because you really didn’t look like you wanted to speak to him, even his own date looked slightly embarrassed, reaching her hand out to try to shush him in the rather quiet restaurant but whoever this was seemed very persistent.

“Uh Y/N, who is that?” He asks through his teeth, trying his best to be discreet to not grab his attention further.

“It’s no one.” You say with a slight clear of your throat, clear code for I’ll tell you afterwards so Jungkook nods in understanding.

Clearly the stranger didn’t think he was no one, because he had turned towards theatrics, extending his arm out to wave at you in such a chaotic motion you can’t stop yourself from finally whipping your head towards him and giving him a glare. 

Because of that you spot the exact moment his hand rams into the passing waiter who’s holding a tray of drinks, watching in almost slow motion as they topple over on the tray and the mixture of sake and soda spills directly onto Jungkook’s front.

Jungkook’s reaction is instant once he feels the cold liquid trailing down his skin, pushing back from the table in shock, the slight screech of the legs against the wooden floor catching the attention of the surrounding people.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry!” The waiter apologizes, frantically reaching into his apron for spare napkins as Jungkook stands up, the front of his light colored shirt being absolutely ruined, the strong smell of alcohol sticking to the fabric.

Jungkook can only sigh as he drops his head back, eyes looking up at the ceiling, practically piercing through it as he attempts to glare at the sky. Really?

“It’s okay.” Jungkook reassures the waiter, he knew it wasn’t his fault, so he gives him a soft smile as he take his own napkin off the table and tries his best to dab at the liquid soaking into his shirt.

The more guests grow curious the bigger the scene gets, eventually grabbing the attention of the manager as he makes his way towards the two of you trying to clean up the mess.

Try as you might the murky looking stain wouldn’t be going away with just your napkin but Jungkook still appreciates your effort, letting you pull at his shirt as you tried your best.

“Folks, I am so sorry about this!” The manager speaks up from behind you, nearly startling you as you set the soiled napkin down onto the table.

The poor waiter had already scrambled to the back, most likely worried he’d be getting fired so Jungkook feels inclined to clear his name, “It’s fine, it wasn’t the waiter’s fault–“

“Yeah, it was totally my mistake!” The same boy from before chooses now to speak up after having caused this mess and seeing the way he’s still comfortably sat in his seat is what makes you snap.

“Jesus Jaehyun take a fucking hint!” You hiss out, not missing the way his eyes widen at your tone. He takes that hint loud and clear, turning to fully face his now very uninterested date with his eyes not daring to look over at you again.

“Listen your meal is on the house.” The manager continues, choosing to ignore your little outburst that honestly has Jungkook wanting to laugh.

“Really you don’t have to do that.”

“No we insist, please don’t worry about it.”

You and Jungkook share a look before nodding because sure, who didn’t enjoy free food. With you now seemingly satisfied the manager makes his exit right as your mochi ice cream gets brought out.

By now Jungkook can say he has lost the craving for sweets, his cheeks burning in embarrassment at the lingering eyes who are no doubt talking about him under their breath. He really wanted to leave now and you catch on to that as quickly as it comes.

“You wanna go?” You ask softly, reaching for his hand as you stay stood beside him.

“Yeah.” He mumbles out, still choosing to slide out his wallet to at least leave a tip for your server.

“Okay, let’s go.” You tug him along after he leaves some cash on the table, watching as you give a final glare at the stranger dubbed Jaehyun.

Jungkook wonders if first dates always went this bad, his date with Jisoo failed to have any bumps in the road this extreme. Maybe it was the universe’s way of testing him, your relationship already had a handful of bumps so whats a few more to solidify that you both felt a certain way for each other despite the bad karma that seemed to follow Jungkook.

And as you two exit the restaurant Jungkook doesn’t know if he wants to laugh or cry when he sees, or more so feels, that its pouring outside. Neither of you are prepared, the forecast of the day never mentioning the possibility of rain at all.

“Oh my god.” You laugh out, ducking your head and practically running down the sidewalk as you yank Jungkook behind you, not stopping until you’re stood under a small area where the roof of the building hung over the sidewalk.

“At least now the wet stain will blend in with the rest of your shirt.” You joke and Jungkook smiles once more, bringing his free hand up to ruffle his now damp hair.

“Silver linings I guess.”

You slide your phone out and order an uber for the two if you, ignoring Jungkook’s voice of protest at you having done that. He had paid for the last uber and even though dinner was technically free he had also provided the tip, so it only felt right to spot the uber back.

Jungkook doesn’t start to feel a little defeated until you’re both stood there waiting for the car, his eyes are focused on the sidewalk, the splatters of rain being the next thing in line to put a hitch in the night. He had planned on going for a walk not too far from here, having seen a park that had sculptures that lit up once the sun went down. In his mind that would be the perfect place for the two of you to come down from the food you had eaten and Jungkook could get an idea on where your feelings stood.

That same defeated feeling lingers as you two exit the uber but Jungkook really tries to not let it put a damper on his mood when the night had been nice overall. You didn’t seem to be upset about anything, a giant smile on your face as you and Jungkook sprint towards your building to seek shelter from the bullets of rain. He had taken off his black coat and held it over the two of you as a makeshift umbrella, having to wring the coat out once you entered the dorm building.

“I thought monsoon season ended months ago.” You laugh out breathlessly, tucking your damp hair behind your ears and resting against the plain wall behind you.

“I’m telling you, i’ve got bad karma.” He grumbles as she shakes his coat off, walking towards you with a wry smile on his face.

You pout when you notice his expression, reaching for his hands once more and leading him towards the elevator, “Jungkook no you don’t–“

“Yes I do.” He playfully whines, resting his forehead on the cold elevator wall, feeling the rumble against his head as he makes a childish noise.

“Jungkook!” You laugh, pulling him away from the wall to face you as you cup his cheeks in your hands, “No you don’t, look I had a good time tonight.”

“You did?” He mumbles out, his cheeks still being pushed in your hold and puckering out his lips slightly.

“Yeah Jungkook, I did. I would’ve had a good time even if we would’ve stayed in my room doing nothing. I like spending time with you.” It was an honest confession, it didn’t matter where Jungkook had decided to take you for your first date you knew from the start that you’d have a good time.

But you knew Jungkook had wanted this date to go a certain way, from the way he emphasized how perfect he wanted it to be, so you let him playfully mope about it as you lead him towards your room.

When your door clicks open Wendy scrambles up from her laying position on the bed, her headphones hanging around her neck loosely as she yanks them off, “So, how was the date with the greek go–“ she freezes when she sees the state you’re both in as you walk inside, your hair is sitting in wet clumps on your head, your clothing looking damp but not as wet as Jungkook’s considering he had a massive stain of a questionable substance on his shirt.

“What happened?” She slowly asks, her eyes glued to Jungkook’s shirt and he feels himself bringing his arms up to shield it from view and Wendy averts her gaze to look at you instead.

“Just some rain.” You shrug as you take off your coat and hang it from the back of your chair, Jungkook takes a moment to stare at your exposed back, not realizing how revealing your shirt was since you’d kept your coat on the entire night.

“Yeah but his shirt.” Wendy tries again and when Jungkook makes a small noise of despair from the back of his throat she stops talking, pressing her lips together to stop from laughing.

“I got caught in the crossfire between some drinks.” Jungkook finally mumbles out, stuffing his hands into his cold and damp jeans with a slight grimace when he remembers the feeling of it all.

Wendy’s mouth drops open slightly in confusion, turning to you again for further explanation, “Well drinks and Jaehyun.”

At that she hums, having heard about Jaehyun considering he was the last random person you had casually slept with his name was on a list of fallen soldiers. She wanted more details, craved them, but she also knew it would be best not to ask right now. Plus with the solemn look on Jungkook’s face she kind of wants to give the two of you space to talk if you need to. “Oh wow, okay well I’m gonna head down to the student lobby and grab some snacks. You guys want something?”

You give her a pointed look, especially when she starts to gather her laptop up, clearly showing she would be gone for a while, “Wendy you don’t have to leave.”

“I’m not leaving, I’m going to get snacks.” She corrects you with a scoff, shoving her feet into her fluffy slippers as she approaches the door. She gives you and Jungkook a quick wave before she dips out in a hurry, no doubt going next door to hang out with Yeri.

“Okay so who was Jaehyun?” Jungkook finally asks as you take his wet coat from him as well, hanging it off the corner of the room divider you have propped open beside the wall. Your back is turned to him so you miss the teasing smile on his face, your tiny outburst at the restaurant had been kind of hot but Jungkook would keep that to himself for right now.

As you think of Jaehyun and the stupid scene he had cause it makes a soft groan leave you. You ebb the annoyance away when you sort through your closet to try to get Jungkook something to wear so he could get out of his sticky shirt, settling on an oversized university shirt you sometimes wore to bed.

“He’s some guy I slept with a while ago, it happened once, we never spoke again so I don’t know why he was so insistent on talking to me.” You really didn’t want to give him more details than that so you’re thankful when he doesn’t ask anymore questions about him. Leave it to the higher ups to plant Jaehyun at the same restaurant as you two, the perfect plan set in motion to lead to the chain of events resulting in Jungkook’s now ruined shirt.

He lets out a soft sigh as he starts to unbutton his shirt, his eyes focused on his fingers and missing the way you try and fail to look away from his exposed chest. “This is the bad karma I was telling you about.” He pouts as he slides off the stained shirt, grabbing the cotton tee from your hands and slipping it on quickly.

“Jungkook, you don’t have bad karma.”

“Yes I do, look I didn’t say anything but they fucked up the reservations today, we were this close,” he pinches his fingers for added effect, “to having to eat at Mcdonalds.”

That finally earns a laugh from you as you step out of your heels, “Wait really?”

“Yes!” He shouts with a laugh, his eyebrow cocking up when you offer him some black sweats, he highly doubts they’ll fit so he declines them.

You shrug and decide to slip them on yourself, along with a comfy shirt, sliding behind the room divider since you were currently braless. “Okay to be fair–“ you peak your head back out as you shimmy into the sweats, “I really wouldn’t have minded that, Mcdonald’s fries paired up with a soft serve would slap.”

Jungkook flops halfway onto your bed, his feet planted on the floor as his upper body splayed out. As much as he agreed with that, and now sort of craved it, he didn’t want that to be the route this date took.

“Why do you think you have bad karma?” You ask once you step out from behind the divider, looking cozy as you sit onto the bed next to him, your hands reaching out to trace on his arm closest to you.

“Because of the dumb shit I did I mean, first the pregnancy scare–“

“Okay but it was negative.” You chime in and he mulls it over before nodding. Alright, that one cancelled out like pemdas.

“Then it was running into Jisoo at the cafe, getting a light beat down from Taehyung, our reservations getting booked wrong, getting a sick mixture of sake and soda spilled all over me, not getting to eat that mochi ice cream!” He adds on with more emphasis, “And then we leave and it’s pouring so I couldn’t take you to the next part of the date.”

At that you pause, your head tilting as you stare down at his flustered face. He gives you a side glance when he notices your silence, seeing the way your lips slowly curve up, “Wait, there was supposed to be more?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook breathes out, he wanted to continue being honest with you and his feelings, not letting his nerves and doubt weigh his tongue down like it always did, “I was gonna take you to this park near by, they have these really pretty sculptures that light up scattered all around. I thought it would be a nice place to just walk around and talk, and if things went well I was gonna ask–“ he pauses to take a breath, the words jamming in his throat as he forces his eyes shut for a brief moment.

“If you wanted to be my girlfriend.” He finally gets out, his eyes fluttering open and looking over at you, seeing you already looking at him with the softest gleam in your eyes.

The simple question has you smiling like a giddy school girl, finding out your crush liked you as much as you liked them, the fuzzy sensation in your chest spreading the longer you stared at him. Jungkook on the other hand only feels his nerves flip in his stomach the longer you don’t say anything, his eyes widening up in worry at your prolonged silence.

“Yeah Jungkook, I wanna be your girlfriend.” You shyly respond, biting your lip when you see a smile replace his worried expression, his lips spreading out and revealing his teeth.

“Really?”

“Yes.” You laugh as he sits back up, his face now level with yours as he looks at you, and he can’t stop himself from planting one on you now, desperately wanting to feel your lips on his. His hands cup your face with a sense confidence you hadn’t experienced from him, guiding you towards him before he meets you halfway and presses his lips against yours.

His lips feel soft as they slot between yours, your eyes falling closed as your own hands come up and rest on top of his. The nerves Jungkook felt earlier fizzle away as you press harder against his lips, starting a gentle rhythm as your lips move together in a slow dance that he had grown to miss since the last time you kissed him.

The soft huffs of his breath escaping his nose as he kisses you fan across your cheek, a smile spreading across your face and making it difficult to properly kiss him back the way you wanted so you pull away with a light smack. Your teeth gently press down onto your lip as you smile at him, your noses still nudged against each other. His own eyes are still shut, being too scared to open them up and reveal he was actually dreaming, he had spent too many nights stuck in his dreams that all consisted of you.

They don’t crack open until you press another soft kiss against his lips, your hands moving away from his and going to cup his own face, your thumb softly caressing the skin of his cheek.

“I’d really like to go to that park you mentioned though.” You whisper out, not wanting to speak any louder and break the soft atmosphere created.

Jungkook kisses you once, twice, three more times before nodding, “I’ll take you, I promise.” He knew you’d love it there, maybe it’d be a good place for you to take picture of, find inspiration if you were in search of it. Whatever it may be Jungkook knew it’d make you smile and awe and he wants to give that to you.

“You wanna stay here for a while?” You ask as he leans a little further back so he can stare at you without going cross-eyed. Jungkook nods instantly, wanting to spend as much time with you, his girlfriend, as he possibly could.

He had another hour or so before they did rounds for the weekend and all you wanted to do was snuggle on your bed, maybe watch a movie– “Lets order delivery for some Mcdonald’s dessert?” He reads your mind, a playful smile on his face, he really had a sweet tooth and being robbed the enjoyment of eating that mochi ice cream still stung.

“Jungkook, you absolute mind reader, yes we can.” He manages to sneak another kiss from you before you stand up to grab your laptop, ready to search for something the two of you can watch while Jungkook places the order, grinning when you crane your head over the device to ensure he had gotten the mcflurry you wanted.

Maybe first dates didn’t need to be perfect if they were with someone you were meant to be with.

“So are ya’ll like doing it.” Hoseok questions, an innocent look on his face as he takes a sip of his water. You were currently gathered outside of a giant warehouse that Taehyung had demanded you meet him at. His birthday was nearing and all he had asked was for a friendly game of paintball. There was absolutely nothing friendly about paintball, you could already picture the baseball sized bruises that would litter your body but if thats what he wanted then so be it.

“Doing it?” You question right back, your eyes narrowing at him as he nods, looking at you before turning his head to look at Jungkook who was currently talking to Jimin while Chaeyoung and Wendy laughed at something.

“He’s my boyfriend, so yeah.” 

“Oh, so it’s official. You know, sex hits a little different when there’s a title on it.” He teases, a playful smile on his face when he sees the way your cheeks puff out when you scrunch your face up in slight embarrassment.  Hoseok knew you and Jungkook were officially together, your whole group knew, Taehyung included, he just enjoyed getting under your skin like an annoying brother would.

“Shut up.” You laugh out, swatting at his stomach with the back of your hand. He dodges your attack with ease, hopping to the side with a cackle that grabs the other’s attention.

All of you had come in groups in separate cars, Jimin, Chaeyoung, Jungkook, you and Wendy coming together in Jimin’s car; Namjoon, Hoseok, and Yoongi had come together and gave one of Chaeyoung’s friends, Chungha, a ride as well. You were all just waiting on Jin, Arang and the man of the hour, Taehyung.

“Where are they?” Yoongi huffs out as he leans against the metal benches set up outside the warehouse, his foot kicking up some of the rocks that littered the floor.

“Taehyung probably had some trouble with his hair, fifty bucks says Jin is currently lecturing him in the car.” Namjoon adds, laughing when everyone agrees with no hesitation.

Jungkook slowly creeps his way over to you, slithering his arm around your shoulders and tugging you into his side with a grin on his face. He leans down and presses a kiss to the top of your head, you can sense his uneasiness, having felt it the second you brought up the events Taehyung had planned and extended the invite to Jungkook. 

“You okay?” You ask softly, not wanting to grab everyone’s attention again as they all began their own conversations.

Jungkook just gives you a squeeze at the question, “Yeah, just a little nervous about being here with everyone you know.”

That was understandable, after everything went down it was only normal that all of your friends got the low down of what happened between you and Jungkook. Your friendship was very tight knit so it made sense that they all took your side and distanced themselves from Jungkook instantly. So far none of them had been malicious or cold towards him, greeting him as if nothing had happened, because if you told them everything was okay then everything was okay.

The main person Jungkook was uneasy around was Taehyung, and with good reason. The two of you hadn’t spoken at all since things ended, he had asked you for a bit of distance which you completely understood. So when he had texted you with the invitation for today, with an okay to bring Jungkook along, you had been a little surprised, not being able to decline because you knew it was for his birthday.

But Jungkook still couldn’t help but feel like he shouldn’t be here, add some guns to the mix and he can’t stop thinking he’d have a massive fucking target on his back the second he entered the paintball field.

Taehyung did in fact have a plan, nothing as aggressive as Jungkook was currently picturing, but it was sort of the reason he was running a little late. He had practiced the simple words he wanted to say in front of the mirror in the boys bathroom over and over, gaining himself some odd stares as he did so, before he knew it the time had flown by and he was scurrying out of the bathroom like it was on fire.

Seokjin was currently scolding him about being timely like Namjoon had joked, Arang sat in the passengers side trying really hard not to laugh whenever she saw the faces Taehyung made through the mirror. This felt like being stuck in the car with your parents after you got a bad grade in school, “Alright, I get it. I’m sorry, but can you blame me.”

Silence fell over the car at that, Jin taking a moment to think it over before shaking his head, no he couldn’t blame him. Taehyung had told him that he wanted to speak to Jungkook before bullets went flying. He knew deep down that you and him were going to be okay, he just needed time to get over his feelings for you, his main concern was clearing the air with his room mate, not wanting any awkwardness lingering.

When the sound of Jin’s tires rolling onto the tarmac creep up all of you turn your heads to look at it, the boys throwing their arms up in relief because finally! Now that they knew he was here everyone slowly starts to make their way inside the building, ready to sign whatever waivers and other paperwork was needed before they all got torn up by the paintballs.

Taehyung gets out of the car when he notices you and Jungkook trailing behind, wanting to get your attention, specifically Jungkook’s, before he was around everyone else, “Wait, Jungkook!” He shouts out, succeeding in having the both of you stop in your path, turning to face him with your brows raised.

Jungkook doesn’t think he heard him right until he waves him over. He feels like his feet are cemented into the floor, needing you to give him a gentle push before he jumps into action and slowly walks his way, a little unsure of himself. Seokjin was still outside so you felt secure that if a fight broke out, he could separate them, but hopefully that wouldn’t happen.

“Happy early birthday.” Jungkook starts first, cringing slightly at his words until he sees the way Taehyung smiles, something he hadn’t seen directed towards him in weeks.

“Thanks man, look I just wanted to say sorry-”

“No, you don’t have to.” Jungkook tries to wave him off because in his head everything was absolutely justified.

“Yes I do Jungkook, look we both fucked up okay but I took it a little too far. I never should’ve put my hands on you, or threatened you the way I did when the situation had nothing to do with me.” He knew he did it because he was protective of you but he had enough sense to know that maybe he could’ve let you handle it the way you wanted to without getting involved himself. All it caused was an uncomfortable atmosphere in their room when it used to be easy going, the two of them getting along pretty well despite their differences in personality.

“I still think it was well deserved but I appreciate the apology. I know it might not mean much, and I hope this doesn’t rub you the wrong way, but I promise I’ll never hurt Y/N again.” Jungkook means it, the way you had stared at him with so much hate in your eyes was forever burned into his mind, seeing you cry because of something he did or rather didn’t do wasn’t something he ever wanted to be the cause of again.

That makes Taehyung smile, the hollow feeling in his chest still being felt but all he wanted was your happiness. Beneath it all you and Taehyung were close friends and just because things weren’t meant to be between the two of you didn’t mean he didn’t wish for you to find it with someone else. If that person happened to be Jungkook then that was okay with him.

“Treat her right for her own sake, not to save your ass from getting plowed down again.” He teases, throwing a soft punch onto Jungkook’s shoulder.

The younger boy chuckles as he clutches his arm, “I will, by the way, was inviting me your ploy to shoot me with no consequences?”

Taehyung lets out his classic laugh as he makes his way into the building, Jungkook following him closely and watching as he shakes his head, “Hell no man, I need you on my team.”

“Fuck Jungkook.” You mewl out, your hands tangling into his hair and yanking him towards you for a kiss, your tongues gliding together messily, letting Jungkook swallow your moans down as he rolled his hips into you.

He knew he had to be quick but he wanted to relish in being inside of you, always loving being in this position with you, it didn’t matter how often of an occurrence it was now. Seeing you with your hair splayed out and messy, your lips swollen from his kisses and bites, the soft moans of his name filling the room as he fucked you, it would never get old.

The way your pussy pulses around his length has him gasping out, his fingers curling around his bed sheets as he rocks harder into you, your heels digging into his butt to urge him closer. Your hands release his hair and trail down his back, your nails digging into his skin and he hisses. Having discovered that Jungkook had a light kink for pain you lived for it, subtle scrapes of your nails,  harsh bites to his skin, pinching his nipples, it was all stuff Jungkook never knew he would be into until he got with you.

“You always feel so good.” He grunts out, his eyes squeezing shut when you clamp down on him on purpose, smiling when he lets out a guttural moan. “Ah, shit, do you want me to cum before you.” He snaps playfully, seeing the way you pout and shake your head.

“No, please make me cum.” You plead, a soft pout on your lips as you lift your hips up to match his motions, keening when his dick expertly hits your g-spot. Jungkook had more than enough time to get acquainted with your body during winter break, the two of you choosing to remain on campus and getting as much time alone together as you wanted since both Wendy and Taehyung had gone to visit family.

“Fuck, when you ask like that I can never say no.” He mutters out, his hips pulling back before snapping forward once more. The sound of your skin connecting from the force of his thrusts fill the empty dorm room and Jungkook knows he found the pace to get you quivering underneath him once your back arches up, your pebbled nipples grazing his chest as you moan out his name. He doesn’t think he’s ever heard his name sound so pretty.

The coil inside you tightens up as his pelvis continues to grind against your clit with every roll of his hips, your desperate cries raising in pitch and Jungkook smiles when he realizes he’s got you right where he wants you.

“Nngh, right there Kook–shit.” You gasp out when he chooses to bring one hand down between you, the pad of his thumb rubbing tight circles onto your aching clit. Your jaw drops open as your climax creeps up on you, only needing a few more flicks of his thumb until you’re unraveling below him.

Jungkook groans when your orgasm crashes over you, your walls pulsing around him as you gasp and moan his name out, your fingers digging into his skin further as you throw your head back into his sheets. He leans forward and latches his mouth onto your neck, suckling on the skin below your ear as he fucks you through your orgasm.

“Oh god,” you groan out when he leans back onto his knees, his large palms gripping onto your hips and fucking you with more force. His eyes are glued to the way your tits bounce, moving up to stare at the fucked out look on your face as you start to come down from your climax, “love your cock.”

You’re slurring your words now and he chuckles at the effect he has on you, shutting his eyes as he feels his own orgasm creeping up on him. It’s not until the constant buzzing of your phone beside your head starts that his eyes open up. Your hand swats the bed as you reach for it, quickly seeing that Jimin had texted you a handful of times and was now calling you, you were late.

“Fuck, Kookie you gotta cum.” You sigh out, tightening your sensitive walls around him, making him gasp and almost double over.

“I know, fuck. Almost there.” He groans, quickening up his pace when he feels the pleasure about to send him over the edge. His grip on your hips tightens up, his fingers digging into your skin as his thrusts become sloppier, losing the grace they had when he had made you see stars. No, now he was desperate, whines of your name leaving the back of his throat and his eyes fluttering shut as he finally spills into the condom.

He hunches over your body as he shallowly ruts his hips, milking his orgasm until he was absolutely spent. The two of you lay panting on his bed sheets, a sheen of sweat on your skin and dopey smiles on your faces.

Jungkook sighs as he pulls out of you, his eyes glancing at the condom covering his cock, he’d be damned if the two of you ever got a pregnancy scare again during college.

Your snort and nudge his hips with your knees when you notice what he’s looking at, “You love condoms huh.” You tease, laughing harder when he nods with a giddy smile.

“You’re gonna have to sign a contract if you want me to fuck you raw.” He jokes, slipping the condom off and tossing it into his bin by his bed. He grabs a towel from his desk before approaching you once more, helping clean you up before cleaning himself.

“I’ll do it, don’t temp me.”

He shoots you a playful glare as he slides into his boxers, he knew you would, “Stop trying to corrupt me.”

“Mm, you like it.”

He doesn’t deny it, a blush coloring his cheeks as he watches you get dressed in a hurry. You fight back a smile at his silence, choosing not to tease him further because you were really late.

“Okay we really gotta go.” You speak out, grabbing your phone and shooting Jimin a quick text saying you were on your way, all he sends back is the middle finger emoji and you scoff.

Jungkook reaches for your camera that was propped on his desk, double checking the memory card and battery before handing it to you. You don’t bother checking your appearance, trusting Jungkook’s thumbs up of approval before you both bolt out of his room.

The herd of students gets more dense the closer you get to the main quad, having to weave between everyone as you approached the area your friends wanted to meet up at. They’re all huddled near a corner outside of the literature building, looking totally inconspicuous, none of them noticing you or Jungkook approaching until you’re tapping Jimin on the shoulder.

He whirls around because he knows it’s you, the glare in his face softening up when he takes note of your hair, “Nice sex hair.”

“Fuck off.” You swat his hand away from your tangled locks, hastily pulling it away from your face and trying ti rake through it. “Also why the fuck is your hair blue now.”

He rolls his eyes like it’s obvious, motioning over to Taehyung who now also had blue hair, “It’s so they don’t tell us apart.”

“Wait, us? You’re doing this bullshit too?”

Taehyung lets out a laugh at that, nodding his head proudly at having roped Jimin into his antics, “I bet him the new iPhone if I could outrun him.”

Namjoon snorts, his fingers pinching his nose because Jimin is absolutely getting scammed and you knew this too, hell everyone knew it even Jungkook judging by the laugh he holds back.

“And what does Jimin get if he wins?” You ask, your hands coming to cross over your chest as you give Taehyung a pointed stare.

“The pride of having beat me?” Taehyung attempts, his pitch rising up as his face screws together at his plan being revealed.

“Tae you’re an ass.” You laugh out when Jimin finally gasps at the obvious betrayal. Admittedly the distance you had given him, along with the time apart during winter break had been good for your friendship. The two of you were now back to acting like you used to, no longer wary of any lingering feelings.

“Plus, did you two forget that Jimin has tattoos on his arm?” Yoongi drawls out, his head tilted as he stares at the exposed ink on Jimin’s skin. If they were going to go streaking again and had gone to the lengths of matching their hair color all it took was someone recognizing Jimin’s art work to snitch on him.

“We’re not amateurs.” Taehyung scoffs, yanking up the fabric of his hoodie sleeve and revealing the horribly fake tattoos on his own arm.

All of you choke down laughter at the chicken scratch on his skin, they were totally fucked.

“Right, my mistake.” Yoongi chuckles under his breath, “Here are the masks, good luck you idiots.”

Jin and Arang make their retreat with Yoongi, wanting to get a decent view since they had missed the time Taehyung did this last semester.

“We’re doing this for you Yoongi, it’s your last semester with us!” Tae shouts out.

The older boy turns around with an exasperated look on his face, “I don’t need to see your bare ass to celebrate my last semester Taehyung, don’t rope me into this!”

Hoseok sighs as he shakes Jimin’s shoulder, “I hope you can run man, Taehyung’s kind of a seasoned pro so best of luck to you.” Its not reassuring at all, Jimin feels like he got blindsided with this. Sure Taehyung had brought the idea up when he was a little drunk so maybe he had agreed too easily but now that he was sober he wasn’t sure why he had said yes.

“You wanna join us Kook?” Taehyung speaks up once more, beginning to hop in place as the nerves kicked in, wanting to get nice and limber to outrun Jimin and the security that would no doubt get unleashed on them.

“Yeah, no thanks.” Jungkook laughs, stuffing his hands into his jeans and looking at the two blue haired idiots. There was no way in hell he’d be joining them.

“C’mon, think of it as initiation into the group.” Taehyung winces out in pain when Namjoon smacks the back of his head.

“He’s already in the group asshat.” He mutters out and Hoseok nods along, giving him a shrug when Taehyung looks for back up. Instead he grumbles out in agreement.

“Whatever, just make sure you get all our good parts Y/N.” He points his finger at you and slides out of his hoodie, the less clothes he had on from the start the better. Namjoon holds onto it for him, beginning to walk away towards Yoongi with Hoseok by his side.

“Will do, is this gonna get blown up into a canvas too?” You question, hoping the answer would be no but you knew Taehyung too well, his head nodding along instantly and Jimin joins in. Of course.

You give them both a salute, Jungkook jokingly wishing them good luck as you leave them behind to go join your group in their spot. It was the start of the spring semester now, the mandatory rally being held to welcome the students back from break with news on exciting events happening in the coming months. The perfect time for Taehyung and Jimin to do what they wanted to do, a bigger audience than last time ready to witness it first hand.

The soft music playing through the speakers gets cut off abruptly as the two smurfs jump on stage, their black masks covering them from the nose down and judging by some screams of glee you realize that some of the freshman recognize the situation from last year.

“This is gonna be good.” Hoseok laughs out, hiding his smile behind his hands as Jimin snatches the mic off the stand.

“Welcome to the new semester!” He shouts out, slightly muffled by the fabric but his words get their point across.

Taehyung reaches forward and yanks the mic from his grasp, the rustling being heard as he places it directly on his mouth through the mask, “I see some familiar faces, here’s the rundown–“ he starts, turning around to double check his surroundings and when he spots the same principle huffing and puffing her way over, already knowing what was next, he continues, “you guys gotta help us get away, do what you gotta do.”

“Are you gonna help us?” Jimin asks as he leans towards the mic in Taehyung’s hand, laughing when the whole crowd screams yes in unison. That satisfies them both, the mic dropping between them and landing with a thud, the feedback ringing through for a moment and thats when they both strip out of their clothes.

When poor principle Kang sees the nudity she lets out a shriek, pointing towards the boys and sending off the guards in a wave of deja vu. Jimin screams as he yanks his clothes off, taking off the stage while Taehyung nearly trips while yanking off his sweats.

He grunts when he takes off after Jimin, the entire crowd whistling and yelling at their bare bodies. Your eyes are glued to your viewfinder once more, holding in your laughter to keep it steady as you followed their path.

Jimin still has the lead, weaving between students with grace as he looks behind him, shooting you a peace sign when he spots your camera. When he bolts passed you, you make sure to focus on his back side, snapping a few photos of the winner of this streaking race to later blow up.

The entire crowd gasps and you whirl back around, a laugh finally leaving you when you spot the security man that took a tumble trying to literally tackle Taehyung down. The shout that leaves Taehyung makes your whole group laugh, he doesn’t look as carefree as the first time, not trying to pose and dance with students. No, he had a brush with near-death at almost being caught so his main concern was getting the fuck out of there.

“Holy shit!” Namjoon laughs even louder when two other guards close in on him.

“He’s gonna get caught.” Seokjin groans, already imagining the hell Tae’s gonna face with administration.

But then a group of students slip in between them, causing the guards to ram into them and leaving Taehyung with enough of a gap to escape. His eyes spot your camera and he blows a kiss towards it, smacking his ass as you take a photo before being lost in between the cars. God they were idiots, but they were your friends and you love them.

“That was...amazing.” Hoseok whispers, starting a slow clap that begins to grow with everyone attending.

You’re still recording the whole thing, panning your camera around to get everyone’s reactions before it’s suddenly stopping, your nose bumping into the side of your device.

“Ow.” You wince, pulling back and gasping when you see Jungkook had his palm wrapped around the lens that was just about to pop him in the face like before.

“Listen, you won me over the first time you did that you don’t have to do it again.” He teases, smiling when you lean up to kiss him in apology.

“I’m sorry.” You laugh, letting the camera fall against your chest when he releases his grip on it.

“Is this where you tell me you hope I have a good first year in college?” His eyebrow cocks up, remembering your chosen words from the first time you had met.

You shake your head as you recall them as well, still somewhat thankful your camera had decked Jungkook’s face.

“No, this is where I tell you I love you.”

His smile matches yours now, his hand coming up to cup your cheek and bring you in for another kiss, “I love you too.”

[masterthespianduchovny]

I never wished for Gillian’s relationship to fail, but I was largely indifferent to it and it has nothing to do with Gillovny. Funny enough, I do actively dislike David’s relationship for obvious reasons.

I wasn’t super involved in the tumblr fandom during 2015-2016, but I do remember all of the fuckery that went down with David and gillian. Their behavior was what ignited dormant and new shippers. It added flames for those who never let that flame die.

So, you had all of G and D’s antics and shit, which many were going crazy over. Some notable people as well who have since distanced themselves from that era. Like most people were for this shit because whatever was going on between them was too hard to dismiss as being friendly or professional behavior. Or even harmless flirting.

Now, there are those who always insisted that G and D were acting and putting this show on for the fans. I guess to drive ratings, but this argument has always been nonsensical to me. For starters, people who are interested in Gillovny are going to watch regardless. Almost everyone else don’t give a shit and was going to watch the revival for Mulder and Scully. The things fans went crazy over wasn’t enough to even get anyone interested in the show who wasn’t already interested.

Like, the kimmel interview is mostly only interesting to someone who follows Gillovny or knows of their history. Other people would find their behavior interesting, but would they really make them watch the show??? And it’s barely even a headline.

So, what they were doing back then was enough to get philes excited, but not enough to drive ratings. Which cancels out the idea that they behaved the way they did to garner attention.

But, the naysayers kept insisting that this was all a PR ploy.

After (???) season 10 premiered, Gillian was spotted with Peter I suppose. And she kept being spotted with him. Don’t know the true timeline. But, when this happened, suddenly, these same naysayers were Gorgan. They were all in on Peter and Gillian and throwing shots at Gillovny fans and how we were “played.”

(It must be noted that just because Gillian ended up dating Peter doesn’t mean she didn’t have a thing with David. Lol)

Over time, they were gassing up this relationship and talking about Peter’s greatness and how he and Gillian balanced each other.

For me, my bullshit meter was going on.

Yes, some fans just wanted Gillian to be happy and shit, which I’m all for, but the loud gorgan supporters used this relationship to “get back” at the Gillovny crowd. I honestly don’t know how hostile it became between the two groups, but from what I did see, this support was superficial, which was proven years later.

Because, imo, how can you be for a relationship that just started and you barely know anything about it? How can you know all of this about two people you have no insight on? Gillian keeps her relationships largely private and we know even less about Peter’s relationships (read: marriage), yet there are posts about how these two are a good fit? Lol

What solidified my indifference was Gillian’s behavior. Pre like 2013, Gillian wasn’t really featured in the media all that much because she wasn’t doing any noteworthy projects. Then, she did the fall and was featured more. She was very vocal about being a feminist and shit. “Future is female”, talking about her same sex relationships, didn’t want to be in relationships unless she was in control. Isn’t this the woman who famously ended a relationship by going home and leaving her then boyfriend on the beach to find his way home? Lol.

Gillian’s image was very independent, assertive, I’m the boss, blah blah blah.

Then, she gets with Peter and it’s “he’s responsible for my success.” Peter this, Peter that, blah blah blah blah.

Gillian’s image is now submissive, insecure, handing the reigns over to her man.

That was something that made me look at her differently and not care for her relationship. It felt like whiplash from her previous image.

That image she cultivated with Peter was so contradictory in what she presented herself as while they were together. So, although I still supported her professionally, I just wasn’t here for the relationship.

Ironically enough, Gillian and Peter are the ones who come off as having the PR relationship compared to whatever David and Gillian were doing. Maybe not on the red carpet, but Gillian has (always) been silly and sexual with David. There are x files outtakes that proves this. She jokes/“jokes” with David about wanting to suck his “cock” and David has said shit to her like “did you just cum?” In many of their interviews, Gillian is the the giggly and silly.

Even when Gillian was with Mark and David was still with Tea, that dynamic was there, but a muted. 2015/16 was more pronounced, but it didn’t come out of nowhere. So, the idea that this was PR doesn’t track.

But, Gillian gets with peter and, suddenly, she has a personality change and is singing the praises of her boyfriend who she later works with.

Do I believe this was a PR relationship? Tbh, I don’t give a shit either way. But, PR relationships exist and have always existed in Hollywood. They function many ways: to bring attention to one or both parties, to deflect from (potential) rumors, to build hype for a project, etc.

Peter and Gillian were gassing each other up and shit, selling one another and their relationship. Many famous married couples don’t even talk about their spouses like them (and, yes, I believe these married couples love one another).

The thing about David and Gillian is that, even tho some thought something may have been going on around 2015, some people have always thought they were fucking at one point in time. Others think they just have massive chemistry. But, why would they need to fake a thing between them that they won’t admit to to manufacture interest in the show that people were excited to see come back? It sounds contrived, doesn’t it?

Compare that to: a well loved and acclaimed actress who hasn’t had meaty work in a while getting together with the creator and writer of a show that’s an Emmy darling. They’re always singing each other’s praise, which is noteworthy for a person who doesn’t talk about her relationship much. Who she then later works with on said show.

Which one sounds more like PR?

The actors who’ve had mad chemistry since they’ve auditioned together? Who’s chemistry never wavered even when they couldn’t stand each other and now are in a better place?

Or...

The actress and writer who talk about how wonderful their partner is and that this relationship is so mature, and then later work on his show together before breaking up a month later?

I honestly don’t think it’s absurd to have skepticism towards gorgan. Many of those adamant that gorgan was real and others are delusional are invested in gorgan because their anti Gillovny. And some did truly want to see her happy, but most weren’t invested in that way.

Whether someone thinks gorgan was real or not, I found it embarrassing on Gillian’s part. It’s probably more embarrassing if it was PR and sad if it was real.

And I know ppl will disagree with that because they found the relationship mature and supportive, but again, crediting Peter with the success of her career??? You can’t even argue, “she means now” because Gillian was getting a career resurgence and rave reviews for Stella Gibson and bedelia de murier (???). She had her role in American gods (I know it was one episode).

And in each of these roles, it was “omg! Gillian Anderson!!!”

She was so loved in Hannibal, they fucking expanded her role. And this was all pre Peter (American gods may have had some overlap).

Gillian isnt “struggling” for roles because people don’t want to hire her, she’s “struggling” because she’s trying to find roles that balances being a working actor with being a hands on mom.

And that’s why I was always “meh” about the relationship. I don’t think Peter’s a bad guy and he’s good at his job, but the way Gillian’s persona changed during this relationship was off putting and I didn’t care to get invested in them for that reason. But, as I mentioned on other occasions, the vocal support of the relationship and notable silence when they ended will always be fascinating to me. I honestly believe that gorgan support was fueled by the anti Gillovny crowd and backlash to David’s relationship (its a 🤮 for me too) and behavior towards Gillian regarding the x files’ potential continuance.

[freezeriafan]

fucked up and unenjoyable fanfic from 4.9.21 that i found on my phone...

Allan at the fluffmart too late at night, and a keyhole view into the suequinn madness. 3k

rated... Teen? Sort of fucked up LOL sort of nasty tho sort of cute tho. Sort of weird :/  fake-deep and cringe *hits post*

The din of the florescent lights and air conditioning. He was essentially there alone.

It was close to 1 am, and some sort of exhaustion was starting to bite at his eyes. He had been staying up later and later lately; the natural cycle of his sleep was so that he would push it and push it until it became too hard to make it to hockey practice on time and with enough energy. Then he’d do a hard reset, and the cycle would start over.

His last reset was a few weeks ago by now, and within a month or two he'd be seeing the sunrise before bed.

He is absorbed by the bottle in his hand.

He reads the little words on it many times, over and over; free of this, full of this, long hold, clinically proven.... it means nothing to him.

He closes his eyes tight.

He used to know what to look for in hair gel. He had spent years with trial and error. But at some point, he had found a brand that worked well; it was a blue bottle, and the words were sort of big on the front, and he used to know what they said, but he was drawing a blank on that too.

Here, at this Fluffmart, on this shelf, at that height, was where he would always find those blue bottles.

That whole segment of the shelf was empty.

He holds a foreign brand in his hand, but he’s just not sure that he’s willing to commit. He is very uncomfortable at the thought of it.

He never thought that this would be an issue. He had himself a nice little routine, in a way.

He looks up from the stupid bottle in his grip and scans the shelf for the thirtieth time. Again, he turns around and scans those shelves, and then he puts the stupid bottle back and walks around to check the surrounding shelves.

He had been there for about thirty minutes straight. He was about to be there longer. He had almost settled on one bottle, but had then remembered that parabens were bad, and that was about ten minutes ago, and he had yet to find the next best runner-up. In the end, there were only about five other brands to draw from, and none of them were the familiar blue bottle that he had went there for.

He looks to his shoes and sighs.

He didn’t like having to ask Sue for anything. It never seemed to work out for him, and she was very intimidating. She gave him the very strong feeling that he was unwanted.

He looks to the stupid shelves again, and he knows that would not be able to settle.

He sets out to find Sue.

If he stands straight when he strolls, he can see clean over the shelves, and this he does. At this hour, on this day, there were maybe two or three customers, and it was Sue and maybe two employees who were on. She was the manager, and probably didn't have to work late if she didn’t want to; Allan wasn’t sure why she did.

Maybe because it was slow, and there was time to get some sort of extra paperwork done?

Maybe she couldn't get anyone else to do it for her?

Maybe she wanted to see every facet of the store's business life? Who knows.

He doesn’t spot any familiar heads over the aisles; he spots no heads at all. He takes a familiar path to the checkout area, and eventually hears the sound of moving boxes.

He rounds a corner, and finds Sue stocking shelves.

She did a lot of the grunt work herself. She wasn’t too good for that.

But she did perpetually look displeased.

She was down on her knees, likely too tired to try a squat, and her hands were moving with unwonted care. Allan had always seen her slam shit onto shelves in a matter of seconds, and when she was gone, one could see that everything was aligned perfectly. Now she seems a bit off.

But she had heard his footsteps and seen him arrive and now she stops what shes doing and sighs, slumping forward a moment.

"Hey!" Allan tries, leaning against the edge of the shelf. "I was looking-"

"Don’t lean on that." She takes her time to stand. She moves like her body is sore.

"Oh." He quickly stands straight. When she looks at him, she doesn’t try to mask her exhaustion and annoyance. She just crosses her arms and resigns herself to the service.

Allan tries again.

"I was looking for you," he says, trying to sound as upbeat as possible.

"Of course you were."

"And- well, um, did you know that there’s a whole brand of hair gel that is not on the shelves? That is usually there, I mean."

She nods. "Yeah."

Allan feels awkward. She keeps talking.

"There was a shipment issue."

"...Oh, so... there’s none?"

"There’s none."

She inhales, slow and heavy, and then keeps talking.

"That brand ships from Sakura Bay, while the others don’t. I don’t know exactly where they ship from, but in the end, they all coalesce at the same warehouse. There was some issue at a point before that, and that's all I know. It's out of my jurisdiction."

Her shiny eyelids, crossed arms, and unsympathetic tone offers no reprieve or relief. Allan feels a deep unrest dawn over him.

"So...." he glances every which way. "....Will you.... have some soon, or...?"

"It'll be as long as it takes, kid."

"Oh."

And that was that.

He says his careful thanks and goodbyes and retreats. Sue carefully lowers herself to the floor again.

Halfway down another aisle he hears, "Hey Allan?"

"Yeah?" He yells back. It's easy to forget that she knew his name.

"How long is it gonna be, buddy?"

He peers over the canned soups to spot her on the other side of the shelf, down at the end of it, where he just was.

"...Until there’s a new shipment? Why would I-"

"No, until you're out of here."

"Oh."

His tongue moves to probe where his missing tooth once was. It might be another hour until he settles on a brand. He wishes he were at home.

"Uh... well, ma'am, uh... I guess it'll take as long as it takes." He shrugs a bit.

A long and loud sigh, almost a groan, chases his ears as he rushes in the opposite direction, away from her, toward the hair gel aisle again.

---

Sue checks her watch.

1:12 AM.

Officially, the place has to close at 2.

Colloquially, it closed at 12, because there were never any customers past that point.

Except when there were.

There were a couple late-shoppers or the occasional emergency run, but Allan was by far the most regular. He had said before that it was because when the place was too busy he "got a headache." Sue had almost scoffed at that; who didn’t get a headache in a grocery store? If she left every time work began to wear on her, she would be fired.

And besides, why is the cacophonous din of the grocery store any different from the loud yelling at a hockey game?

She checks her watch again. Still 1:12.

She had finished stocking the one shelf and did not bother doing any more; she had done more than she needed to already.

Truth was, she had been staying late often lately. A lot of the work had time to get done in advance or as soon as it came up.

Truth also was that she had not been sleeping or eating much. Or, regularly. She would crash sometimes and sleep for 11 hours straight, and she may even invest an hour or so in some slop that was not her style. Or something rich that she did not pay for.

She had been living life strenuously. Her work had been second-best, but nobody had noticed, her first-best was so fine already. Quantity over quality, as they say.

She worked hard during the day and even harder at night. A night out on the city contained in one apartment, one yacht room, one office.

Her girlfriend was beginning to get nervous. It made Sue's skin crawl, that Mary would call her at odd hours and ask if she could come over. Hours when Sue was supposed to be out of work.

"I've been working odd hours, lately, baby. I don’t have time," Sue would say.

"When are you not at work?" Mary would ask. "When do you close?"

Sue had told her 2, and Mary had asked why she couldn't just close as 12 like she had before. Sue would say that there was a change of management, something above her. Mary would ask if she could talk to her at 2. Mary would say that she would really like to work things out.

Sue would say that she had a headache and really doesn't think that she could handle the extra stress.

Once Mary had called her at 2:24 AM. Sue's phone began buzzing and she had answered it without thinking, just because it seemed urgent, just to get it to stop.

"I'm outside your apartment," Mary says, her voice colored with the quality of raw nerves. "It's cold. Please open the door."

Sue puts the phone down a moment to retch one more time into the shitter. Red wine floods the bowl, along with bits and pieces that she could not remember enough to explain.

Sue had not put the phone on speaker, and Mary was loudly asking for her to return. She sounded panicked.

Why, Sue wonders. It was just a second. She spits into the bowl, reaches for the phone with a shaky wrist, and holds it up to her ear.

"Sue, where are you??"

Sickened, she moves the phone from her ear and groans.

"Sue?"

"Honeybunny, I cant DEAL when you sound like that."

"Huh?"

"So SHRILL." She spits some more, then leans back to escape the scene.

"Sue? I'm sorry, did I wake you? Are you alright? I just want to talk."

"Why?"

"Because you've been cutting me out! I wanted to talk about that falling out we had but now I'm just willing to forget everything. Can you open the door?"

The door to the bathroom opens. Her feet were bare, and she had changed into something sleepable.

"Are you on the phone?"

Sue shrugs, her eyes lackadaisical, and sloppily presents the phone to the woman in the doorway.

Her perfect and strenuous face turns into something of harmless concern.

"Hm. Well, I'm sorry you vomited. I guess I should have known, but you've surprised me a lot thus far." Her perfect voice was carefully quiet, as to not travel through the phone in Sue's hand.

"Sue, please? I'm so sorry, and I'm- I'm really mad and upset and cold, I really just want to talk to you. Please? Can you let me in?"

Sue's head is swimming. She reaches for the foreign countertop to haul herself to her feet. The acrid wine stench may make her vomit again.

"Sue? Can you please open the door? Please?"

"Is that your girlfriend?" She says in the doorway.

"Yeah," Sue says thinly. She stumbles a bit, then drops the phone onto the countertop. She grabs the toilet lid and drops it carefully, wanting to avoid that awful bang, and puts all of her drowsy weight onto the flusher.

"Sue? Sue, for the love of- where are you?"

Sue has her hand on the toilet tank. She’s breathing through her nose and every exhale hurts. More rancid saliva has accumulated in her mouth, but what the fuck is she to do about it now.

A pair of thin hands coolly show up around her bare sides and carefully wrap around her diaphragm. The gentle presence of a torso at her back and a chin by her shoulders.

"Sue, I'm serious! This is getting ridiculous!"

Sue drops a heavy hand to the counter and drags the phone up to her ear.

"I’m sorry, babe," she slurs. "I'm not home right now." Then she hangs up.

---

She checks her watch. Still 1:12 am.

She's near the checkout stations alone. There’s a tremble in her core and she looks up through the front doors. It's pitch black outside.

She didn’t like to be idle, because she didn't want to waste her time, and because she didn't want anyone to think that she wasn't working, and because she didn’t want her to know that she was waiting.

Her muscles were sore. Her body was dragging. But the exhaustion that had worn heavy on her eyes now melted at some fitful expression originating from her core.

Something sacral and self-assured. Something absolute and fiery. Something that brought her eyebrows together and deepened her grimace.

She moves to do something. Shes on the clock, she ought to do something.

As soon as Allan was out, she would close. She had sent her employees home at 1 sharp, and the other customers had since disembarked.

So where was that blimey cunt?

She looks to the glass doors again. Still dark.

---

"You ready to head out?" Sue asks, moving behind a cash register.

Allan's stroll is energetic, but his face looks lachrymose.

"I guess," he says, and stops in front of the check out lane candies. He was holding a bag of candy already.

It doesn’t take him much thought before he swipes a couple Nutty Butter Cups from the shelf and tosses it all onto the conveyor belt.

Sue relies on muscle memory and gets through it quick. The lack of hair gel is noticeable, though, and requires cognition.

She looks up at the doors again. Still dark. She sighs.

"Didn't find an alternative?"

Allan wasn't meeting her eyes. He was thumbing through his wallet.

"No," he drones. "No, there just isn't anything. I figured I should save our time and just git."

"Yeah, I hear ya," Sue says. "Sometimes that's what you gotta do."

Allan was nodding, unhearing. 

Sue looks up at the doors again. "Sometimes you gotta just git before you waste anymore of your time."

"Yeah. Sure. And it really didn't matter how much time I spent in that aisle, my options weren't changing. You gotta be smart sometimes." Still, he looks sad.

---

"You gotta be smart sometimes."

Allan thinks about his future without hair gel. He wasn’t completely out yet, but he probably would be by the time that they got a new shipment in.

"But it still makes me uneasy inside. I'm hoping that the candy will help."

"Oh, I'm sure it will, Allan," Sue says, unhearing, tapping her screen. "Your total is $12.27."

Allan flips her a twenty, and behind him, he hears the automatic doors slide open.

Instinctively, he twists at the waist to glance.

It was a woman. Her fit was noticeably snazzy: a purple dress suit, buttoned in the front, black plaid stripes, and a skirt to match. Her erect posture drives her shoulderpads backward. She walks through the doors with purpose, focus, and her high heels make a sharp clack with every step. Her skirt is very short and sports a slit up the side. Her leggings are dark. There is a big, round pocket watch cinched to her lapel next to her big, round ...

Her hair is red and her glasses are rectangular. Allan turns back quickly. Her hips were very round as well. Did her chest really look like that? He wants to take another look.

"Well, anyway, uh..."

But Sue had noticed the woman too. Her hands slow and then stop. Unlike Allan, she has the nerve to continue to stare; but her eyebrows slowly knit, and her eyes freeze with shaky focus, and the bags under her eyes are suddenly so evident.

Allan hopes to brush this off. He knows that she wanted to close the store soon, but he still thinks that it was rude that she would stare down a customer.

"I... have a buddy staying with me these days, so, it's not all for me."

He was referring to the candy. Sue noticeably snaps back to her task. She looks at the bills in her hand, almost surprised.

"His name is Robby, I don’t think you know him. I don’t think he likes to go to stores. Hes a bit like me, then," Allan continues. He was urging the scene to carry on and be done with soon.

Sue looks directly down into the register. "Right, I'm sure..." Her fretted hands gather some change.

"Yeah. I can’t be in loud public spaces for too long, I get overwhelmed. Did I ever tell you that?"

"Um." Sue slowly holds her palm out to him. "Here's your change."

Allan takes it. He doesn’t sort it into his wallet, he just drops it all into a random pocket.

"Well okay. Thanks. See you." He grabs the plastic bag and urgently turns to leave.

"Yeah," Sue almost forgets to say after him.

Allan heads for the door and passes the woman. She was standing off to the side, her arms crossed, her chin high. She had a very pointy nose, over which she had watched the whole affair. She gazes at Allan with a self-contained expression of unquestioning self-confidence and contentment.

Allan looks at her tits right before he goes through the door. Wow, they were big. What an amazing view. When his foot steps down onto the cement outside, he does not look back.