#that's the inpatient experience
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in residential we got the word glizzy banned. no one ever used it inappropriately. we were just so fucking obnoxious with it
#that's the inpatient experience#literally every unit in the place had a ban on the word glizzy#it was. a special time in my life i can say that for sure.#residential is something else#residential#residential treatment
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I gotta tell you... Being hooked up to a bunch of machinery and being gently strapped to a table (for safety) is low-key unsettling even when the people doing it are nice and explaining exactly what's going to happen, when, and why.
Without being spoken to? While being forced? With no information? In a strange place? Surrounded by enemies or hostile people?
That shit would be frightening as fuck. The lack of control. The lack of answers. Feeling less important, less human, than everyone else in the room.
So do that to your characters. If you're into medical/lab whump you're hitting all the right notes with this trope. So go HAM. Do it MORE. It's perfect.
#lab whump#medical whump#the latter is not really my cup of tea but I know this fits#whump tropes#hi hello yes I had my tests done on Saturday#it was an experience. not bad--just odd#i was too out of it to really consider The Whump Potential when i was an inpatient in hospital but yeah#this is the stuff nightmares are made od#*of#as an aside they weren't allowed to speak to me during the stats gathering portion of the test but I was just bored and feeling ill#it could've been scarier I just wished I had something interesting to look at for half an hour
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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weeping and crying real tears because i am so tired and fatigued and my body just feels exhausted every day with no end in sight ‼️
#i only work 7.5 hours but im running for those 7.5 hours#i think if i had to work 12s I'd kill myself.#im not even being paid well i want to cry even more LMAO#it's just unfortunately really worthwhile experience for me#i love being disabled and deciding to work in healthcare!!!!!!!#im not even working inpatient and its insane here
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Ok so like the VERY LAST group i went to at this inpatient visit was about cognitive distortion and i got this sheet that has on one side a list of cognitive distortions like vocab? And then on the back its questions to ask yourself if you find yourself in one. I kinda wanna type up a thing about it with like. Proper Formatting. Ive been back for not long at all but ive been able to catch myself in them a few times.
#ash goes into the nut farm so YOU can benefit from the homework#that was the best inpatient experience ive ever had#like it sucked but i learned a lot#and i had a decent time for the most part bc i went in thinking it was gonna be worse#maybe i will even stop being so shitty to myself who knows
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not a sad ‘woe is me’ post so don’t send me weird messages but: the thing abt cycling through every ED possible and being bulimic for like 10 yrs & making yourself vomit up to 10x times per day on ur worst days is that your teeth and gums will eventually give out on you (bc it doesn’t make a difference if you’ve been good & it doesn’t matter how well you’ve taken care of your teeth for the last x years) and u will be 30 years old crying to your very sweet and kind dentist when she tells you about the 1 million things that are wrong with ur teeth
#anyway i feel strongly compelled to quit my job and dedicate my entire life to speaking out abt eating disorders#& doing research & writing & advocating for people who are suffering#women who are suffering#i think this is honestly my life’s calling!!!! i just don’t know where to start#you know movies glamorize having anorexia & it’s always like: she is the most beautiful girl in the world…but so sad…she doesn’t eat :(#i need to make movies that have scenes like that one chapter of i’m glad my mom died:#where jennette has been throwing up like 15 times a day and her tooth falls out#and she’s literally just like: yeah i’ll deal with that later#& instead of writing about a beautiful skinny white girl who is upset about eating carrots at inpatient#i would just force people to read/watch the things in this thread:#https://www.reddit.com/r/EDAnonymous/s/H1C3JZyvFK#because that’s the reality#the one comment in that thread ‘i ate something poisonous because i hoped it would make me puke’#like yeah same. LOL. & i always thought i was the only one so fucked in the head#anyway society is very cruel to women and i need to do something about it. genuinely whereeee do i even begin#i guess i have been writing a lot abt my personal experience and all the disgusting things ppl like to avoid talking abt#and how my mother made me this way etc#i could def make a memoir out of it. maybe i’ll do that.#i would love to have more options than just. trauma porn.#ah anyway maybe i’ll open a nonprofit. IDK. i just need to make a lot of noise somehow
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kinda cringe to shit on self dxed people unprompted
how dare you say I piss on the poor
#looking at you soulfully in the eyes and telling you as a generalization#that usually white women on tiktok who say neurospicy and diagnosed themselves with ADHD at age 19#regardless of whether or not they have adhd#AS A GENERALIZATION#were not weird and ostracized and utterly failed by the system enough that their parents or school counselor sent them to see someone#and thusly have an experience with disability that isnt even close to comparable#to a disabled person who's entire life has to be worked around their disability and the barriers it presents#like 20 year old skinny white woman influencer serial number 3825 who takes ritalin to clean her room#and gets 3.7m likes on a 15 second long tiktok about the lemon water she drinks on 'overstimulation days'#is NOT gonna say SHIT to my 8 inpatient hospitalizations and disability benefits about being ~neurospicy~#is her experience real? probably.#does it give her more than like 2% more credibility about accessibility issues than like. your neurotypical uncle?#no absolutely fucking not#imho#anyway i love seeing all the reading comprehension on this here site that is so famous for its genius in literary analysis 😍😍😍
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might as well continue the oversharing but w good news im going to go to another toy fair at the end of may and go see my sister at the same time...all as a birthday celebration special occasion thing so I think that gives me a good timeframe to both. delay the inevitable and also get all my paperwork and ducks in order
#it might take longer for all the paperwork but it def wont be before another month which augh feels manageable#thats not even including wait times for a bed bcs like. i. puts my head down in shame i gotta do inpatient theres no other way im sticking#w any of it#im nervous though especially going to an adult eard ive been in them before for mental stuff but augh#if anyone has any experience either with adult or minor ed wards#...anon is open yknow i read the forum posts but theyre mostly FUCK MY MOM FOR CARING ABOUT ME AND IM FAT NOW like by teens. not helpful#i hope they let me draw like theyre probably not#as strict on sharps right?#like anyways#this is all even assuming that i can get the medical leave or insurance or any of the million moving parts#im taking the TRAIN to see my sister....like its going to be#delightful
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i’ve submitted well over 50 job applications this summer. tell me why the one (1) position i’ve made the most progress toward is one i didn’t even apply for???* and THEN. yesterday. one of my preceptors from the internship i just finished emailed me out of the blue like Hey i'm gonna have an open position at my private practice soon, are you interested?** girl what the fuck is going on here***
#* i was interviewing for a part time gig and halfway thru guy was was like Oh we also have this totally different position you might like!!#(i'm two interviews in and it's got big pros and cons but it's full time with salary good benefits and great opportunities#but the job itself is not exactly my bag#but it also def wouldn't be a long term thing#the woman from the second interview said she'd have one of the current RDs in that role give me a call so i can ask more questions ab it)#** honestly a great opportunity but two things give me pause:#1. i really enjoyed my time with that rotation and my preceptor was SO kind and lovely but#it seemed like we were just communicating on different wavelengths. like i'd ask a question and then she'd give me an irrelevant answer.#she'd give me an assignment and it would take me two or three tries to get what she wanted.#it was all just slightly off. but maybe that's ok bc i wouldn't be doing ASSIGNMENTS if i worked for her. i would be seeing clients#and 2. the pay is weirdly not good. like SIGNIFICANTLY less than comparable listings i've seen#but i applied for all those and got rejected bc i don't have experience lol so maybe it'd be worth it for a little while#just to get my foot in the door#and i think it would be very flexible and i would start off with a small case load anyway so maybe i could just do it part time#while i do something else full time#bc tbh i also want to work as much as i can (without burning out) while i'm here in tx to take advantage of the lack of state income tax#and lbr if i learned anything from my internship experience it's that i hate being bored and i like variety#how great would it be to bounce between like inpatient acute care and outpatient counseling constantly. keep this brain ENGAGED!#*** the gatekeeping in this profession is unfuckingreal#like i KNEW this profession in particular was too much about ~networking~ and ~who you know~ but#i didn't think it would be this fucking bad
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out of curiosity I looked up the hospital I stayed at way back when I was getting help for my mental health and I think I found it (it’s changed names since I went). I know to take Google reviews with a grain of salt but seeing it has almost 200 reviews and it’s rated under 2 out of 5 stars... lmao interesting.
#fun fact! When I was admitted there were no beds left on the wing I'd been assigned to#so 16 year old Peony got to sleep on the restraining bed : )#all the way at the end of the hall#it was so awkward trying to sleep on that thing it was small and leathery#I don't remember a lot of individual workers while I was in inpatient#I still remember the doctor assigned to me#and I remember a couple of workers in the outpatient program#I don't think it would be fair from the experience I had in my mental state to say whether the place was good or bad#but if I had to do it over again I would definitely try somewhere else#cw mental health
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It’s not a need but it certainly is a massive flaming hot want lol
#to just experience it#like yeah I know 23 isn’t that old#but I feel old and I feel like I’m missing out at this age#I still remember when I was in the mental health inpatient I was the only virgin there and they even thought it was odd lol#😩😩😩😩😩😩#tw minors dni#minors dni
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How do people still not know the difference between outpatient and inpatient care? At this point you’re choosing to be stupid bc you wanna discredit Meghan and dismiss her pain
It’s vastly different levels of care. This isn’t a difficult thing to grasp.
#inpatient is hospitalization and a much higher level of care#outpatient is more maintenance#a therapist is not the same as going into 24/7 treatment#they also never said Meghan wasn’t allowed a therapist#with all the leaks it definitely would’ve gotten out if she went to a treatment center#and from personal experiences I know sometimes for ethical reasons they won’t even take you outpatient if you need more help#if there’s safety concerns they don’t want that liability
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Cant wait to see my peer worker like 'hey girl. Isn't it a wonderful day to have human rights. Let me tell you about my horrible awful week and my vile psychiatrist'
#i missed my normal appt because i was fighting for my life trying to discharge myself from the hospital i got trapped in#shoutout to the bestie for saving me literally the only reason they let me out#which yknow. traumatising experience but thats what i get for trusting a psychiatrist#shoutout to peer support workers theyre quite literally the only people in the psych system who actually get it#i do actually feel really great now though because not being allowed to go home has turned simply being at home into something magical#multiple times today I've just sat and thought 'wow I'm so happy to be at home. I'm so happy to be in control of my own life'#makes my heart go out to anyone who really does get trapped in the inpatient system cause that shit is terrifying#i barely evaded an assessment order and I'm still really rattled about it#i don't even know if i am actually safe because they referred me to a crisis assessment team#so now i have to be so careful not to get locked up again through that. gotta be assertive and confident and stand up for myself#which is scary but yknow#once that's all done with and i sort out my finances I'll be safe from the psych system. surely <- still scared out of my mind ngl
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what is with the recent shift towards full neuropsych work ups to dx ADHD? It’s something even an FNP Can do relatively simply but now we’re all supposed to drop $2k on full neropsych assessments? Why? WHY? Why are you making these dx and the help tied to them so fucking inaccessible to people who already have trouble accessing things by virtue of their neurodiversity?! We need to fix things so bad in this country and impossibly long waits/high fees for help with anything psych related is near the top of the list.
#adhd#psychology#neurodivergent#neurology#we need a psych infrastructure the same way we have a medical infrastructure#With emergency psych available the same way we have EMTs#And way more availability of therapists and inpatient options#Just as we have different units at hospitals we need different units in inpatient psych#Drugs v medical v perinatal#Etc#because everyone will experience mental health crisis in their life#Everyone will experience trauma#And many of us will also experience neurotransmitter irregularities#We need to help people not just pretend to sympathize
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Honestly I was fine (in my opinion), I had complications from surgery (not the surgeons fault, I lost too much blood) and took too long to heal (and something about losing too many white blood cells maybe? This was truly over a decade ago), so I think everyone ELSE was worried but I was high as a kite watching a collection of pirated DVDS that somehow every single hospital I’ve ever been to seem to have a huge stock of, so I was having a great time! Also, does everyone hospital have a Pirated DVD Guy? I swear they do
Anon im obsessed with you theres something so funny about this message. i did NOT know there were pirated dvds floating around in any hospital though omg i will have to be on the lookout....need to ask around for my hospital's pirated dvd guy.....
#Ah the inpatient wards...like the worlds shittiest and most expensive hotel#altho it sounds like for u it was a 5 star experience. love that#asks
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as much as adolescent psych inpatient is not a fun place to be, the melodrama was exquisite and I miss it
#adult inpatient is so fucking boring no one even starts hitting someone with a lunch tray and has to be put in a wall hold#fucking lame#there is something very Something about locked in a hospital wing with 3 dozen rock-bottoming teenagers who have nothing to lose afatk#at that point everyone is absolutely quirked up off the shits and are already kind of in the worst place they can be#so you just get people doing and saying Whatever. a very raw form of chaos#that i have aged out of and will never experience again
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