It seems that you are holding on, that all the pain that surrounds you is permeating you, under control. And then you see the pain of a person from your country, but from another city, and it is felt as personal, as general, it is too much and it becomes impossible to contain it.
Here I usually don’t publish anything from my life, from the horror in which we live. Here for me is a place where I can get distracted, live a normal, ordinary life, discuss what I like, share what I want to share. It's so easy to be a little happy here. Warm, friendly place. It’s a pity, I haven’t had much strength to draw lately, I feel exhausted.
We are almost used to it, it has become such a part of life, a routine. As it seems. But someone experiences grief and you realize how many wounds there are in your soul, because they all start to bleed.
I live in Odesa, Ukraine. It's a beautiful coastal city and I'm not leaving no matter what. This is my home. And it is being shelled very heavily because we have a port through which huge reserves of Ukrainian grain sailed to all countries of the world. And to this day our grain, which farmers grow under fire, die while collecting it, feeds a huge number of people. Who knows, maybe the bread on your table has traveled this path.
russian occupiers fired at granaries, at our residential buildings, at civilian facilities, at power plants. They deliberately terrorize civilians to force them to surrender or leave.
A few weeks ago, a shell hit a residential building. The entire part of a residential building from the ninth floor to the first ceased to exist.
It’s good that yesterday I had almost no electricity, no Internet, and no water either due to the fact that the russians again shelled the city power plant, depriving the residents of my city of normal life for some time, because massive shelling of Zaporozhye and other the cities of my country have stirred up too much grief in me and what I could have published yesterday, I’d rather keep to myself. Too much pain and anger.
I will only say that over the past few weeks in my dear Odesa there have been several tragic events that are painfully felt.
In early March, a shell hit a residential building with sleeping people. It seems that this was one of the Iranian "Shaheds" that iran so generously sells to russia. The entire part of house from floor 9 to floor 1 was crushed, many people, many children died. A wife and newborn baby were killed by the ceiling, while her husband and eldest daughter slept in another room and escaped. In this photo, this poor man still hopes that he is still a husband and not a widower, and that he is the father of two children, not one. Do you know what the occupiers do in the comments with such news? They laugh and mock.
A whole family - husband and wife and three children died there. Only the eldest boy, who was visiting his grandmother, survived, and I don’t want to imagine what it’s like to lose two parents and all brothers and sisters.
This house is of a standard construction, there are dozens of them in the city, and at first I thought it was my mother’s house.
I knew about the dead children and it was painful, but yesterday I saw a photo of one of the children killed by the russians and that was the last straw that simply tore me apart. I saw the photo without blur, but if anyone is interested, here is the blurred photo.
My little son sleeps the same way sometimes, curled up. And many kids around the world have such pajamas with Batman. And all mothers try to do everything to protect their children. But I won’t be able to protect my child from an iranian piece of iron launched by russian monsters that can destroy 9 floors. There is no metro in my city, and it is impossible to dig such deep and fortified shelters in a built-up city. All we can do is hide in the corridor so that we are not cut down by glass fragments or shrapnel shells, as happened on March 15th, when these orcs first hit one house, waited for rescuers and emergency services to arrive and then hit him. Terrorists.
I want to say thank you to everyone who supports us, because without your help, they would have destroyed all our cities, as they have already destroyed many on the border with them, along with their inhabitants. I want to say that the UN is the most useless organization in the world, but ordinary people from all countries have shown us what compassion and support is, thank you. And I know several residents of the russian federation who are very pure in soul and are themselves horrified by what is happening, but why the majority of russians so happily supported the war and the next genocide that they are again committing here is a mystery to me. And I’m not interested in solving it, just as it wouldn’t be interesting to sort out the psychological problems of orcs. They do not spare their inhabitants, and destroy their neighbors with pleasure.
I didn’t want to spoil this weekend for you with my grief, my plans were to show some sketches, discuss ideas stored up during the week, show some great screenshots and very beautiful or funny AI generations. But I just can't do it yet. Because sometimes you feel as if most of the time you continue to try to enjoy life, despite everything that happens, as if you are splashing on the very surface of the ocean in warm water under the sun in a cheerful company, and you can temporarily forget about the dark waters in the depths and all the monsters below until they grab you and drag you down.
Our vanished cities
So I think I need to catch my breath a little. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
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