#thats enough online vulnerability for today!

[vriendenboekjes]

this is actually the worst cold ive had in ages and my headache (the main issue) has now spread to my ears as well. kind of want to be pathetic in someone's lap but uhm i am soooo strong and dont need that 🤧

[johannestevans]

idk its wild that when your livelihood comes from posting and doing stuff online, like... it's basically busking, but you also are meant to be vulnerable and human so that ppl care enough to pay you for your time and effort, and/or entertaining/educational/reassuring enough that they pay you for that

but at the same time its just consistently opening yourself up to be criticised and taken apart by strangers - to be taken out of context, to be hated, for your existence to be a joke or a chore to people

and those ppl might even feel they do know you bc of the parasocial dynamic and the sense of intimacy they feel with you

but its all just... like on the one hand you're grateful to make a living, right? but when you're too sick or disabled to do a "real" job and you don't have the option to do anything else, it's frightening, even if you do enjoy the work

esp bc like... ppl think of internet celebrities, whether thats influencers or just posters etc, as celebrities, so they can objectify them, be cruel to them, make statements on their personal lives etc

but traditionally celebrities had way more buffer between social media and their lives, and many actors etc even today just don't have social media - when your job is internet stuff, you don't have that choice, and there's no distance to it at all

and if you attempt to get that distance or fuck up in some way, you will lose your audience, and therefore lose income

it's just such a fucked up tightrope walk when the entertainment property you can best offer to people is... you

[flabebabe]

Saw your post. Just wanted to share my story. I grew up in a very conservative leaning household and it took me until nearly the end of high school to start questioning whether or not i actually cared about those beliefs. The people around me were patient enough and willing to teach me more about LGBTQ+ topics and its because of them, and some self reflection, that i was able to become who i am today.

if i had instead interacted with the puritans on this website, i probably would have been pushed bitterly back into 4chan. i think people need to be more accepting of growth and patient with the people who werent fortunate enough to "start with a clean slate." but i think that also applies to ourselves as well.

everyone has done something wrong in their pasts, but we've also done some things right, too. and i think we just need to try to remember the good we're capable of. i try to just remember that i'm not who i used to be, and even if i fuck up again, that i'm aware now and i'll try to be better. it's not easy but i try my best, and thats all i can do.

i'm not sure if any of this is helpful. but if theres anything that you take from this, i just want to say that i see you, and i extend my hand in solidarity <3

Anon, I pretty much had the exact same thing happen to me with the conservative upbringing. I found tumblr at a time when I really needed an LGBT community and I will always be thankful for that but I didn't realize that I was getting into a space that nurtured something very ugly inside me. And I'm not trying to bOtH SiDeS y'all, at least this community actually means well, unlike communities like 4chan and the like. Speaking of 4chan, I find myself fascinated with it. You said that the toxicity of tumblr could have pushed you in that direction and I think people misunderstand what that really means. There's that comic where the author pokes fun at people who claim that they're being bullied into becoming nazis and while that is amusing and topical, I think it's too simplified. People don't become alt-right ghouls overnight, it's a long process that we're not really being honest about. Correct me if I'm wrong but it seems to me that the hostility of internet leftist spaces towards people who are wrong is unproductive. If a person seeks out community and is rejected, they're going to go somewhere else and that somewhere else is full of hateful people who want to hurt others. The person seeking community is vulnerable; otherwise they probably wouldn't be looking for comfort online. And then the ghouls get them. I don't have nearly as much sympathy for people who are completely radicalized by the alt-right but I do have sympathy for the lost people who just want to belong. I'm not saying we should coddle them, I just think maybe we shouldn't maul people for being wrong because it's just going to push them away. Yes, people should know that the world doesn't revolve around them and that there are many injustices in this world that they are likely contributing to but, again, flipping a dick at them is not going to help them do that. People think that being mean is work towards change but it's not work at all. It's waaaayyyy easier to be mean than kind. Sorry for the rant but I'm kind of realizing how much terrible behavior on my part was influenced by coming here. I'm going to put in the work to be better, and I think you, Anon, are on that path already. Thank you!! Peace.

[gyllenhaalstories]

I read your tags under the last post and you did that as a teen? Thats messed up

hi anon! i don't know what's the tone of your question, whether you think it's messed up i was doing it and now i'm protecting minors from repeating the same bad experiences and mistakes or whether me being talked/convinced into writing and consuming written erotica was messed up. i'll clarify some things and put them under the read more to avoid triggering anybody.

tw: underage sexual activities, grooming, manipulation.

i've mentioned it a few times, but long before i wrote fanfictions, i was roleplaying. by roleplaying, i mean creating characters or writing as characters, basically writing fanfiction but with someone or multiple writing partners at a time. i was 11 or 12 when i started on a french platform and interacted with god knows who. i was around 13-14 when i started roleplaying on facebook and on tumblr. it was not super uncommon for minors and teenagers to do this, especially on facebook. we were a bunch of lonely antisocial teenagers living high school drama both in real life and online. there was massive amounts of lies, manipulation, bullying and so on. but to many, including me, it was the only way to make "friends", some were genuine friendships others were absolutely terrible. i first wrote smut in a roleplay on facebook with someone who was finishing college (my education system is different from america, college means high school and university and even pre-university programs and i could only assume it was the same for her). we wrote our stuff, she was very rude about my typos and my limited vocabulary but i did not question too much out of it, i just thought she was smarter (again because i assumed she was the same age as me). eventually, we got into writing smut. i was aware of the "fading to black" technique, which is what you do when you skip from a scene that gets heated to what happens after the action and in my reply, i faded to black. she asked me to rewrite it, she wanted to do the sex scene because it was "important for character development", it wasn't, she just needed something to satisfy whatever the fuck she needed to satisfy. now i can look back and understand that, but back then i had no idea. so we wrote that scene. the entire time i felt extremely uncomfortable and i kept apologizing and delaying my reply until she completely disappeared on me and blocked my account, seemingly because i wasn't fun to write with anymore.

another facebook experience occured a year or two later. i was 15, i've had some rough encounters with other rpers who held a big place in my personal life too so i was very vulnerable. i came across this girl who never told me anything regarding her age and her personal life, while constantly asking me questions about mine. we wrote this couple, she constantly forced me into writing smut. i'd suggest new date ideas, new plot twists, new settings, anything just to avoid writing sex scenes for the 5th time in the same day. she told me "you'll like it, you'll get better at it when you practice, i'll tell you how it works, it's gonna make you feel good too". so i kept writing with her, i had no other friend at that time so i thought that if i did what she demanded me to do to, she'd stick around and like me. we wrote sex scene after sex scene, we added pregnancy plots, a forced pregnancy even, i was incredibly uncomfortable. i made a different account, i tried to escape her but i couldn't. she had around 5 or 6 accounts where she would go around and find young partners to write with. she had a friend who did the same. there was nowhere to go. i eventually ghosted the previous account we wrote on together and focused on my new character. she was gaining a bit of traction, i met someone there too. we became friends instantly. i was 16 when this new person and i decided to talk more "out of character". we got to know each other, we became best friends and we still are today. we were writing so many different plots and relationships, but they were always respectful of the boundaries we both set. when i turned 18, she finally brought up this previous person who manipulated me into writing smut. she said she had met her, years before me. she was, too, talked into writing sex when she was around my age. we both found out this other person was a 35 years-old woman, a creep, who hunted down our roleplay community to write smut with us, teens and kids. she made us believe it was okay, that she'd "teach us the way". she'd gaslight you and manipulate you into getting what she wanted. there were stories going around that were even crazier than mine. i was manipulated into writing sex with someone twice my age when i was still a teenager. for the longest time, i avoided writing smut, even in roleplays. it took me years to work the courage to write smut again, to develop sex headcanons for my characters in roleplays. i wrote smut with my best friend, whom i trust with my whole life, once or twice and she always insisted we stopped if i were uncomfortable until we just stopped altogether and focused on headcanons and other fluffy ideas rather than fully fleshed out written erotica.

i was reading smut, i was consuming porn, i was on tumblr this whole time and that was before the grand purge of adult material. it was different, in a way, because i was choosing to consume such things. but still. i was like 14 and seeing dicks and pussies out in the wild on tumblr. i had no interest in relationships, in dating, in sex even and i was seeing all of this. i was learning that if you wanted others to desire you, you had to be like the girls on porn videos, you had to do all kinds of crazy things and let (mostly) men take advantage of you because that's hot.

all of that just to say...

IT FUCKS YOU UP. it just fucks you up. it makes you think you're not normal, it makes you think you're weak, you're immature, you're just not cool enough. it makes you think you owe sexual favours to other people. it makes you think your sexual desires are just something people can play with so they can get what they want. i've come a long way. i've learned about my own sexuality a lot. i'm still very insecure in real life, but this blog has allowed me to explore my own desires and fantasies in a safe way, following my own boundaries. it might not seem like much to you. but it was a lot to me. i was hiding this from everybody, my only escape from real life was becoming as toxic as real life itself. the lines were blurred between online and reality. i became scared of people. i thought they were all like the other girls who were full on adults taking advantage of KIDS to write sex. they didn't care if it sucked, they got off from it.

being a blog that is 18+ is not just for aesthetic. it's not just to be cool and act like we're more mature. IT'S A SAFETY FOR BOTH US, AND YOU. we want to avoid that minors fall into traps and rabbit holes. we want to avoid minors from constructing their sexualities around what is clearly fake. FAN FICTION IS FICTION but it can impact your real life, especially when you're young and unexperienced.

i am a firm believer that 18/21 and other ages of consent are NOT magic numbers. you don't suddenly become "mature" at the second you turn 18. they are just minimum age requirements that can allow both you and us some sort of safety. you can be 15 and sexually experienced. you can be a 35 years-old virgin and more sexually experienced than your average person. but that doesn't mean you can't respect other people's boundaries and lurk on their blog while being a minor. you are exposing yourself to things you shouldn't be exposed to at your age.

PROTECT YOURSELF. PROTECT OTHERS. RESPECT EVERYBODY'S BOUNDARIES.

[sweet-steddie]

Home (g.d. & e.d.)

Summary: You’ve gotten a bad grade which means you’re having a bad day. The twins are more than ready to make you feel better. @shawnsababe here it is, almost lol. Hope you enjoy whatever this is!

A/N: Here’s my third Dolan twins imagine and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that everyone is pleased with it! If you’re liking the warm and fuzzy theme of my imagines so far, then this one’ll hopefully be right up your alley lol. Please reblog and leave feedback and maybe even drop a request or two off for me ;) Here goes!

2.6k+

The lecture is almost over, thank heavens. The professor has just informed us all that our most recent test scores have been posted online, at which point 97 percent of the class pulled out their laptops to check their grades, effectively checking out of the lecture. I’ve just selected the “Grades” tab on my school website and am anxiously waiting for the test results to appear.

When the page finishes loading, I give pause. Major pause. Because the grade is not good. Scratch that; the grade is fucking horrendous. I bite my lower lip and my vision immediately goes blurry with unshed tears. Not here. I will not cry here. And I mentally recite this mantra over and over until everyone around me begins to rise to their feet and file out of the classroom.

I must zone out for a considerable amount of time because when I come to, I see unfamiliar faces and an unfamiliar professor entering the room and preparing for the class that’s scheduled to begin next. I make quick work of sticking my earbuds in and packing up my bag before I all but scamper from the room. I speed-walk into the nearest restroom and am momentarily pleased to find it empty before I occupy the first stall and lock the door, sinking down onto the toilet seat just as my tears begin to fall. I take a few shuddering breaths and my shoulders shake pathetically with hushed hiccups and cries.

I close my eyes and force myself to take a deep breath. And then I take another deep breath before gathering a wad of toilet paper to messily wipe at my tear stricken cheeks. I dispose of the tissue and dig my phone out of my pocket, waking up the screen to find it stacked with notifications. When my phone is unlocked, I thumb into my messages and am quickly reminded that I made plans for the day and fuck, if socializing isn’t the last thing I wanna do right now. I hate the idea of bringing the weight of my crushing self-pity to a gathering; it feels unbearably selfish.

I tap into the group message that I have with Grayson and Ethan. Through my puffy eyelids, I scan over the most recent texts. Something about if we should order takeout tonight. I sigh heavily through my nose as I type out Guys, I’m gonna have to take a rain check today. It’s just that I’m the dumbest bitch on earth and I’m never getting out of college. Hope you understand! and then I send it and thumb into my music app to put my library on shuffle. I’m only able to blow my nose and stand up from the toilet before I get an incoming FaceTime call.

It looks like Grayson’s calling and I haven’t looked in the mirror since I left class, but I’m almost positive that I look absolutely miserable. Unfortunately, there’s no time to fix that now. I sigh as I sit back down and accept the call, attempting to paint a smile onto my face to lessen the blow of my swollen eyelids and shiny nose. When the call connects, both Ethan and Grayson are staring me down through the phone, each with expressions of utter sympathy. None of us say anything and I allow my fake smile to slip as I fight back a second wave of tears.

Ethan’s eyebrows furrow as he watches me begin to break down. “Don’t cry,” he mutters softly, eyes softening at my vulnerable appearance.

“Whatever happened, it’s gonna be okay, baby. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Grayson adds just as softly, looking equally as distraught as his brother. Their concern seems to push me over the edge and I have to cover my mouth as I break down crying once again.

“I’m sorry, this is so uncomfortable! I’m sorry,” I blubber out between cries, gasping out wet breaths to attempt to keep the incoming tears from cascading. “I’m gonna be okay, I’m just being dramatic. I’ll be okay,” I reassure them, but it’s mostly me talking to myself and telling myself to get it the fuck together.

“Where are you? You shouldn’t be alone right now. We’ll come get you,” Ethan desperately tries to put a plan together to come to my rescue and I so appreciate him for that. But having them come onto my campus will only cause problems for them and the three of us are aware of that.

“No,” I protest, “it’s okay, I’m okay to drive. I’ll come to you guys. I don’t want you guys getting mobbed.”

“And you’ll stay overnight, at least. I don’t want you staying alone tonight,” Grayson states more than asks. But I nod along anyway, truthfully in no mood to be by myself for much longer.

“Come see us babe, we’re waiting on you. Come home,” Ethan coos gently. My heart melts at him calling his house home. And then it dawns on me that nothing in the world sounds better in this moment than being wrapped up in my boys.

“Okay,” I whisper out, giving a pitiful sniffle. Grayson looks like he would leap through the screen right now if he could. Both boys do.

“I love you,” Ethan pipes up before I can end the call.

“I love you too. So fucking much,” Grayson contributes and I’m able to crack a smile that’s small but genuine.

“I love you guys. I’ll be over soon,” I sign off and I wave at them before ending the call. I make myself as presentable as possible and stand up, finally registering that I’ve been sitting on a public toilet in my pants for the past however long. “Ew,” I mutter, unlocking the stall door and washing my hands before making a beeline out of the building and beginning my trek to the parking garage across from my apartment.

When I finally arrive at my car, I feel less like crying and more like curling up with my favorite guys. I load my things into the car and prepare for the 30 minute drive to the twins’ place and, in my haste to see them as soon as possible, the trip seems at least 5 times longer than usual. So pulling into the boys’ garage at last, then, is the sweetest relief I’ve experienced all day.

I don’t bother bringing my backpack with me when I hop out of the car and lock the doors, shuffling toward the twins’ house. I raise my fist to knock on the door but before I can make any contact, it flies open to reveal Ethan looking more worried than I’ve seen him in a long time. “C’mere,” he beckons me softly, reaching out to cup my face in his hands and bringing his plush lips to my forehead in a sweet kiss. I close my eyes at his attention, wrapping my arms around his middle and squeezing tight. Being in Ethan’s arms right now is like a breath of fresh air.

“I missed you, E. I need you. You and Gray,” I mutter and he hums, lips still pressed flush to my forehead. He pulls back with a soft smack.

“We’re right here. And we won’t leave your side,” he promises near my ear before planting a quick kiss there as well and reaching out behind me to shut the front door.

“E? Is she here?” comes Grayson’s voice from somewhere behind Ethan. I keep my eyes closed, knowing he’ll come and find us. Ethan’s taken to resting his cheek on top of my head and wrapping his arms around my shoulders, gently swaying us where we stand.

“Yeah, she’s here,” Ethan calls back and, sure enough, I hear the sound of Grayson’s feet padding nearer. And then his voice is much closer than before.

“Well lemme see her,” Grayson says softly and I feel Ethan place one more firm kiss to my forehead before releasing me and I open my eyes just in time to find Grayson waiting on me with open arms. He stares me down with droopy, soft eyes and gathers me up into his chest, holding tight. “How’s my girl, hm?” he murmurs into my ear, pausing to kiss the top of my head before his lips resume their hovering over the area near my ear. “I know I told you you didn’t have to talk about it, but please tell me what it is. Tell me what it is so I can fix it,” he pleads, voice a pleasantly deep rumble beneath where my head is resting.

I take a moment to inhale deeply, breathing in his woodsy cologne. “Gray,” I sigh out, clinging to the thick fabric of his hoodie with needy fists, “I failed my test in that one class I was telling you guys about. The one I’ve been having trouble in already. And if I don’t bring up my grade, I might fail the course. And if I fail a course in my last semester here, I might not graduate on time,” I begin to ramble at this point. I feel Grayson nod at various points in my speech.

“You’re not gonna fail, babe. You’re just having a rough time in the class; it happens. It’s only your first test,” Ethan soothes. And the thing is...he’s right. Grayson nods again.

“Exactly. You’re gonna do just fine, we know you are. We’ll help you study. We’ll fucking,” he scrambles to find the words, “we’ll come to your lectures with you. We’ll take notes. Whatever you need,” Grayson suggests and my chest does that fluttery thing that only he and Ethan can make it do. This earns a giggle out of me and I lean my head back so that I can look up into Grayson’s face. He seems mildly perplexed that I’m laughing.

“Thats so sweet, Grayson,” I smile up at him and use a finger to lovingly tap the tip of his adorable button nose. That earns the beginnings of a lopsided smile out of him. “I know you and E would do anything for me. That’s why I love you guys so much,” I gush, essentially staring right into Grayson’s face with major heart eyes. “Thank you,” I all but whisper before leaning up and into his face, kissing the light stubble below his cheekbone. The smile that spreads across his face is borderline dopey.

I give his firm body a squeeze before gently breaking away to show Ethan some love, as well. I slowly approach him, smile spreading shyly across my lips as I draw nearer. He must decide that I’m taking too long, because he reaches out a long arm and pulls me in with a gentle tug, causing me to stumble into his chest with an embarrassingly high pitched squeal of delight. He twines his arms around my waist and lowers his head so that we’re face height with each other, turning so that his cheek is closest to me.

“C’mon. My turn,” he encourages, waiting for a kiss like the one I gave Grayson. I snort at his cheesiness, but it makes my heart thud violently nonetheless. I don’t hesitate to lean in and plant my lips on his cheek, drawing it out before pulling back with a loud, dramatic mwah! “Oh yeah,” he gloats after I pull away and I can assume based off of the smug smirk on his face that he’s addressing Grayson now. “My kiss was better,” he taunts and I fondly roll my eyes at him before spinning around and allowing him to pull my back to his front as I watch for Grayson’s reaction. He stares back at Ethan with his expression portraying the utmost boredom, looking utterly unamused.

“Ethan,” he starts before even begins to address the teasing, “that didn’t even count. She felt sorry for you because you begged for the kiss. And she kissed me first, idiot,” he accuses and I know exactly what he’s doing. The bickering between the boys hasn’t even begun and my stomach is already bubbling with impending laughter, which is surely Grayson’s intent.

“You’re so fucking jealous, bro. You’re mad because she’s mine,” I feel Ethan shrug before resting his chin on my shoulder. I bite my lip at that lovely claim. It’s amazing to me, at this point, that I started this day so horribly and that it’s turning out so fucking well.

“How is that possible?” Grayson’s eyebrows furrow as if what Ethan said is the dumbest thing he’s ever heard. “That doesn’t make any sense, Ethan. Because she’s mine,” he responds as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. He looks at me, shaking his head in mock-exasperation and I laugh. Completely disregarding Ethan’s hold on my waist, he grabs my hand and entwines our fingers, pulling me towards himself instead. Ethan catches my hand just in time and I end up holding hands with them both, swinging both sets of our joined hands back and forth playfully.

The boys are wearing matching smiles as I stare between the two of them, all traces of their playful fight forgotten as we circle back around to the reason that I’m here. Grayson hip checks me, staring down into my eyes with a gentle grin on his pretty, pink lips, an unspoken gesture of comfort.

“Just to let you know,” Ethan starts, causing me to look over at him instead, “if you have any more trouble in that course,” he uses a free hand to gesture between himself and his brother, “Grayson and I will he happy to find your professor and kick his ass.” he deadpans, causing me to bark out a surprised laugh. The statement is so ridiculous that it catches me off guard and I end up having to lean over as I continue to choke out laughter. Whether this laughter is borne of Ethan’s declaration or out of delirium after having such a previously awful day, I’m not certain; I have a feeling it’s a healthy mixture of both. In my haze of mirth, I don’t quite catch on that I’m the only one laughing. When I’m reduced to chuckles, Grayson clears his throat.

“We’re serious.”

[ixiablogs]

A special night (f2f)

Ixia arrives in a space on the surface, looking around with a smile. He was here with Spade and Brio some time ago... its still pretty as ever.

- Speaking of Spade, the sometimes a skeleton, most of the time a cat monster rears his fluffy face when he sees Ixia. He gives him a grin. 

"hey, bout time you showed up!"

- Ixia smiled sheepishly, putting away the device that let him come here to begin with. 

 "oh, leave me alone im still getting used to working this thing... so, uh, where'd you wanna go again?"

- Spade grins and gestures for Ixia to follow him as he turns and starts walking through this quaint, almost fantasy style town. He leads them to a bar, a little bit busy at this time of night, but not too crowded. 

 "i came back to this line when we hung out and found this place and man, their drinks are super good. they also got food if you dont wanna get trashed."

- Ixia blinks in surprise, humming for a bit as he thinks it over. Last time he got drunk with someone... oh but, no, he has a way to get home and a place thats safe to get back to. It'll be fine. 

"i! think i could use a few drinks, honestly, neheh..."

- Spade's expressions softens a little bit and he nods. 

 "yeah, i totally get that. c'mon." 

 He leads them inside and takes a look around before heading to one of the booths closer to the bar, taking a seat on one end and watching Ixia sit opposite of him. There's two little drink menus on the table they can look through at their leisure. 

 "so... how you been doin? im sorry i kinda.. suck at talkin to ya.”

- "oh, no its okay. im not much better either, hehh...." 

 He picks up one of the menus, flipping through it. 

 "uhm, well... i've been doing okay! i think.. i think ever since i left my home, i've been doing better. it is... weird adjusting though, eheh. the longer im away from home, the more i realize that.... i forgot how to be a person. i forgot how to talk to people.... after all, when you re-live the same week or so over and over and over it... it messes up your head...." 

 Wow, he hasnt even had any drinks yet. Feeling extra vulnerable today he guesses...

- Blink blink. Yeah that! Kinda came outta left field, but Spade's not gonna judge. He just listens and nods along, letting out a little sigh. 

 "i know it aint so easy but you really should just loosen up... i mean, aint no one gonna bite you if you just. talk to them, or just talk online and see who might wanna talk back. you'll be okay though yeah? i think you'll be okay."

-- Ixia blinks at the other, giving him a sheepish grin. 

 "eheh, yeah, i guess you're right...."

-- They exchange meaningless small talk for the next.. however long. They browse and order drinks, Spade talking about which are his favorite, Ixia admiring all the different colors and there were some that glowed?? Wowie.

-- "you knowwwww..." 

Ixia's speech is finally starting to loosen as he finishes his current drink, twirling the glass around. "i rreally like this place.... and not like, just the bar! nyeheh.... this like, town, its so... cute an pretty an nice.... wasp showed me one line, an... an sure it was nice but... mmn.. i might ask pippap about building me a house here...."

-- Spade's ears twitch up curiously. 

 "ooh yeah? sounds pretty nice t'me, and hey, you do whatever's gonna make ya happiest right?" He smiles, warm and friendly.

-- Oh,, he doesnt know why, but It feels like his soul's fluttering a little.

 "mmneheh, yeah! yeah i guess thats true.... i'll hafta do some looking around myself though, i havent seen much of this place actually, an i think it'd be nice..."

-- He chuckles a little, tail idly swishing about. 

 "well hey, maybe sometime when we aint so sloshed, we can go 'splorin round the place. scope out somewhere you might want a house... what kinda house you thinkin of anyhow?"

-- "what, kind? uh... ohh, i guess i havent thought of it much... some kinda, big spacious... cute... oh! oh i'd love to have a nice garden all around... mmm... a big living room, with a fire place.... and a nice kitchen so i can try making my own meals, neheh...." 

 He gets this whistful look on his face as he thinks more about it, losing himself in his thoughts.

-- Spade idly sips at his drink as he watches and listens, a warm feeling in his chest, along with a pained one. 

 "...god, i forgot how cute you could be...." 

 A beat, then a blink. His face flushes red. Shit shit he didnt meant to...

-- Ixia pauses for a second too before giggling, covering his face with one of his hands. 

 "pffnyehheh heh... oh, stop it...."

-- Oh, it was. Well received? His face relaxes, and he goes back to smiling loosely. 

 "hehh, what? its true.... you've always had such a cute face, such a cute laugh...." 

 He idly slides a hand across the table, facing upwards as if to ask for a hand in return. 

 "those are some of the things i really like about you...."

-- Ixia's face flushes more, and his soul flutters harder. Seeing the hand offered to him, he.. hesitates for a moment before placing his own hand on top, both moving in almost sync so their fingers can lace together. He casts his gaze downwards, his expression dropping a little.

 "..dont you mean 'liked'....?"

-- Spade looks Ixia in the eyes, his expression relaxed, but also.. serious. 

 "no," He squeezes Ixia's bony hand. "i mean what i said."

-- His chest tightens and he squeezes Spade's hand back in turn. 

 "but i... im not the same person to you, right?... not anymore...."

-- Spade shrugs a little bit. 

 "i mean, sure, if you wanna get all technical. you're younger, went through less shit, and you even look a little different, but...." 

 He tries to think for a moment, looking at Ixia through half focused eyes, pupils razor thin almost. 

 "that dont mean nothin to me... if you wanna change yer name, change yer whole life, i'd fall for ya again and again, regardless."

-- That look itself is enough to send shivers up his spine, and the words... almost enough to tear his soul apart. Especially when he thinks back to everything Wasp's told him in regard to... to his situation. But those last words... its like Spade kicked open the flood gates, cause he cant hold back his tears.

-- Spade releases Ixia's hand only to come around to his booth and sit next to him, embracing him and holding him tight. 

 "its okay.... just let it all out."

-- Ixia hiccups as he tries to hold back his sobs but when Spade sits next to him and wraps those arms around him he just cant help but bury his face against his chest and just cry. So much pent up emotion finally gets to be released... all his confusion, all his pain, all his doubts. After a few minutes of this, Ixia finds himself feeling a little lighter than when they came in. He sniffles, still as close to Spade as he can possibly be, his head tucked against his chest. 

 "w.. will.. will y-you st.. stay with me?...."

-- Spade nuzzles the top of that skull, a low purr rumbling in his chest and throat. 

 "if you want me to, then yea. i will."

-- Ixia sniffles and nods a little, nuzzling against Spade's chest (and also wiping some of those tears away in the process). When he feels relaxed enough to pull away he lets out a shaky sigh, rubbing at his face. 

 "i... i really am sorry it.. its just been so hard and you, you just... treat me like, well, me an thats... thats all i wanted.... thats all i want...."

-- Spade watches him intently, his tail lightly thumping against the booth. When Ixia finishes talking he reaches out and holds one of his hands again, lacing their fingers together, rubbing his thumb idly against the other’s hand. 

 "its okay... you're okay." He offers him a little smile. "whatsay we get a few more rounds in before we head out. you look like you need em."

-- Ixia sniffles and blushes as Spade laces their fingers together again, managing a little smile in return. 

 "y.. yeah, okay... sounds good to me...." 

 And they do just that, Spade staying next to Ixia all the while as they go through more drinks and even more small talk, but this time... this time, the closeness makes it all the more special. Thats what Ixia thinks at least.

They spend hours together before finally they part ways, both of them knowing their goodbyes wont last for very long. Not now, not after that night. 

[magical-agatha]

god my fuckin temperament is too weak to handle thinking about inguinal hernias anymore today. this: http://transhealth.ucsf.edu/trans?page=guidelines-testicular-pain is still the only link i can find that has any confirmation of it as a danger to trans women who tuck. but it doesn't go into detail about how the actual hernia is occurring and what the relationship is with tucking. but at least it confirms a correlation so i know that it is in fact a danger and not just wild speculation or something based solely on one person’s experience, which may or may not reflect the rest of the community. from what i can guess its probably like? pushing the testicles into the inguinal cavity is distending it and weakening the muscles, which is allowing the intestines to slip through into the cavity. i wonder if theres like, something in this to do with like, physical exertion, bc it could also be that tucking is creating a weakness that is getting exacerbated by a moment of physical exertion? or maybe by moving in a way that like, affects the muscles in there? idk. there really isnt a lot of info about this and im not a doctor so the best i can do is speculation. but i dont think the idea that tucking is distending the inguinal cavity which is weakening the associated abdominal muscles is too extreme of a jump. this is one of those times where i really really wish there was more medical information and research about trans bodies, bc most of what there is is sporadic and incomplete and the rest is sourceless uhh, whats the word, when its just based off a persons experience being recounted without any like, reliable research or info. starts with A. im very tired lol. point is i wish there was more info out there cuz there really isnt a lot and im scared ppl are going to get hurt bc of that. this is also like, opening my eyes a lot about how uncertain the information i have in general about like, my body and the bodies of other trans women. bc im finding inconsistent info about things i thought were facts, like for example tucking has always been held up to be perfectly safe, but ive never been able to do it without it hurting, and apparently like?? the whole ‘hrt will turn you infertile’ thing might be inconsistent too? apparently it happens to some but not others. and the thing about like, ‘you WILL lose the function of your dick’ (with the implied ‘but thats a good thing’ that has always pissed me off) and my dick still works, it works differently and i cum and orgasm differently than i did before hrt but it still very much works, it just seems to follow different rules? and i still cum and i can still get hard, both of those things were supposed to stop happening but they didnt. it just like.. went through a process of being reprogrammed so it behaves differently now. cuz there was a period where i couldnt orgasm and i couldnt cum, but then i could again, and now my orgasms are totally different than they were when i was pre hrt. instead of it being like, sudden and intense and overwhelming, it builds up slowly to a peak, then gradually declines from there and leaves you feeling warm throughout and very very soft. and my hen leaks precum constantly when im aroused, and then when i cum it shoots a little bit out then like, leaks goo for the next half hour, not a little bit either. its a mess.

there was something else i wanted to say here but i forgot it. all in all im just. mad that the only ppl who care about the health of trans ppl are some doctors and trans ppl themselves. and that information about our bodies is inconsistent even between professionals. i cant be sure that my doctor actually knows how my body works and whats best for me. it makes it so much harder to trust doctors and feel safe when i see them. what a nightmare. i want to help ppl. i want to find and compile info about our bodies to keep us all safe but i can barely look after myself and i cant commit to doing that. i have to focus on myself. so all i can rly do is like, give advice and try to warn ppl of potential dangers and do what research i can. which is what we’re all doing. the danger is when personal biases conflict with caring for the safety of other ppl, which is the root of all the problems with trans medical stuff i think. whether its doctors enforcing their biases on trans ppl thru medical advice/medicine, or trans ppl themselves giving advice that is warped by their personal beliefs. it leads to misinformation and inconsistency and thats dangerous. that means people getting hurt. so i have to be careful when i give advice to be aware of my own personal biases. such as like, i hate tucking, but i cant tell ppl to just not tuck bc its not my body, i dont know if theres a way to tuck safely or not, so instead i have to tell ppl to be careful and to be aware of potential risks, and to listen to their body bc pain and discomfort are important indicators of harm being done. but im scared that will be lost in the tide of ‘tuck or you arent a real trans woman, you need tucking to pass, it cant hurt you’ that has been spread among us for a really long time.

i feel like this is like, tied to another big problem which is the like, necessity and obsession with passing. which are two very different things. necessity is like, passing to be safe, which i feel like has room to accept that tucking might not be totally safe and comes with certain risks, because it isnt about affirming self worth or identity, only about staying safe. then obsession, which might not be the best word but it will do for now, by that i mean ppl who feel they Have to pass at all costs, bc they think that if they dont they arent a real woman or something like that. they tie passing to self worth and identity, if they dont pass they are worthless or incomplete or like, inferior to cis women, and they will do anything to pass, with little to no regard for personal safety. they will do risky things like skipping meals or tucking unsafely bc they want to pass at any cost. but they spread their perspective on this through advice to other trans women, telling them they need to tuck and they need to wear makeup and they need to do voice training and get implants and srs and all manner of things or they are a trender. a faker. they put insecurities into other trans women and bully each other to propagate their personal biases and force other trans women to conform. most trans women pre hrt are extremely vulnerable and lost, which is when these obsessive trans women give them bad advice and twist them to their world view. that happened to me. i got sucked into that when i was trying to figure out my identity and needed validation. luckily i got out of that and i know better now. its really fucked. ive talked about like, versions of this idea before. that there are two kinds of trans ppl, those who love being trans and those who hate is and want to be cis. and i think as im getting a bit older and learning more and getting further thru my transition im starting to put together a bigger picture of the interplay between all of this stuff. like, the interactions between cis society and its expectations of trans ppl, how trans ppl deal with those expectations and how they deal with living and moving in a cis society thats hostile to trans ppl. this is all one big mess. and thats not even touching on the interactions between terfs, transmeds, and the various levels of trans communities both online and irl. its an absolute nightmare. and then as well there’s like, further interactions with like, nb and gender diverse ppl, gay vs straight trans ppl, intersex ppl, exclusionists, and the mess that the current lgbt+ community online is. i could write a book about this. im living in a nightmare. a massive roiling chaotic community thats fighting itself and the world around it and trying to survive and destroy the parts of itself that it thinks arent ‘valid’. which sounds like a metaphor for my experiences as a trans woman. god and theres more i keep forgetting. im so scatterbrained tonight. i havent had enough sleep to be trying to talk about something so complex as this. and im destroying my hands by typing this much. time to stop. i can sort all this out later. what a mess.

[mmoxie]

this post got long im yelling about nerds added a readmore after the fact

sometimes i read a phrase and get a little hung up on it and today’s phrase is “emotional depth”

you spend 20 years growing up as a very confused and upset person in rural north carolina and you come out of that experience with, let’s say

fairly shallow means of expressing yourself

but i say that to say that i’m so grateful that i found out who i am and took the time to like, think about it

but sometimes i have really shallow dumbass reactions to/interpretations of things still, here five years after getting out of all that

and what i want to get at is that a culture of reaction RELIES on that shallowness to succeed- it doesn’t need or want to reach deep into your psyche, it wants to start you out with your primordial fight or flight reflexes right there at the surface so they can just provoke you into reactionary behavior

and honestly you can read that whole last paragraph as just “and this is why cishet dudes bad” if you want because frankly thats what theyre wrapped up in

that’s why we have these conversations where it’s like “you shouldn’t have to be convinced to care about others, robert” or “it doesn’t make sense to fly into a violent rampage over sports, jake” or “other people don’t punch walls when they’re confused, mike”

the reactionary movement that exists right now has reached an inch underneath that surface, found the bottom, and said “hey mike they’re telling you not to punch walls, are they in charge of you?” and mike, with no enrichment in his life, suddenly feels he’s super right about punching walls because that’s the message he’s just received and he suddenly has an opponent to his wall-punching instead of someone in his life who he might, if he wasn’t such a shallow, violent dipshit, mutually talk to about problems, because friendship features that sometimes, but he wouldn’t know because his friendships all revolve around the kind of mindlessly cruel shit that ender’s older brother does in that homophobe’s book about child soldiers and xenophobia

before i digress too hard let’s whip back around to emotional depth because here’s the thing

shallow emotional depth is more or less the same thing as shallow intellectual depth, in that it limits the way you can interact with the people around you in a way that leaves you vulnerable to all kinds of shitty influence

think of any unwashed walking 2.1 GPA named Gavin you ever knew who talked a big talk about how smart he was but refused to treat himself any better than the bare minimum because he’s getting his enrichment elsewhere

and by elsewhere, i mean 4chan, where he was conversing heatedly with other “intellectuals” all night and getting shitty sleep because someone on /lit/ thinks that some volume of naruto is better than a book he hasn’t actually read but he feels a strange personal obligation to defend because of the hallowed halls (that he hasn’t attended) that the book allegedly represents

that’s someone who has mistaken having lots of opinions for a certain kind of depth, they’ve cultivated an ability to react to everything by always being ready to be contrary to anything, taking the side of a fucking ghost instead of anything in material reality every time if it means they get to run their mouth

that’s the same damn thing, beat for beat, as Big Lloyd who everyone thinks is great at football but he’s always warming the bench because he gets too aggro on the field and has to be called off and replaced near about every game even though he’s “fine” during practice, except he’s getting his ghosts from his dad and his coach instead of anonymous “intellectuals” online

shallowness is shallowness and what it rounds out to is an inability to play ball with other people, and it’s not something you’re a victim of, it’s something you settle into, something you get comfortable with, something that satisfies you in the most fleeting kind of way, you’ve always got to to do it again, you’ve always got to heat up and lash out because god knows it’s the only way you get to express yourself to anyone anymore and that’s

bad

for you

and for them

and for anyone in a ten foot radius

and this isn’t all to say that it takes depth of intellect or depth of emotion to be a good person it’s to say that we’re all digging the same damn hole and finding pieces of ourselves in it, and there’s no reward for digging a shallow hole and laying in it, you’ll never find anything new, you’ll never change, and maybe other people dig deep enough and in so many different directions that they’ve got connecting tunnels and whole networks and there you are, on the surface, gone from them, so removed from their experience that you can’t relate to them anymore even though you started at the same depth

and then someone comes along and says “those people deeper down are FUCKERS and you’re not missing anything” and you BELIEVE IT because it means you don’t have to dig, and you’re comfortable not digging

and everyone else who made that decision is comfortable too and then all of them get together and decide that those fuckers and their useless nuance and willingness to converse and openness and communication and warmth are Doing This All Wrong and it’s time to Teach Those Fuckers A Lesson

and then what do we get

we get shallow, awful men, who see someone in a stressful public position explaining something, and they read the explanation, and none of it resonates with them, and based on the very first sentence they pose a question contrary to the entire premise of what’s being said

and when their tactic of aggressively delivered complete nonsense fails to land and they’re dismissed for being stupid dipshits

well, that’s a victory, because all they know is punching and punching back, and you got punched and didn’t punch back, so they won

and i am just so mad and i just hate so much that i see this every single goddamn day of my life whether it’s in person or it’s online and i don’t HAVE a solution to this it just fucking sucks

it was established by shallow dipshits at the dawn of time and their shallow dipshit sons have upheld that tradition ever since

ironically in the name of a total lack of depth in their person the roots of their behavior are some of the deepest i’ve ever seen and that

makes me wanna yell, and yell, and yell, until i die

but because i have this blog to vent on, i won’t, and i’ve gone and expressed myself now, and gotten it out of my system, and i’m fine

[dragqueenpentheus]

:/

if this wasn't the right way to make the readmore im SORRy but i think i really have to talk this bitch of an emotion out of m chest

i miss her!!!!! after everything i still miss her after?? two years i miss her. It's so much less than it used to be and i'm not. thinking about her every second and wondering why things happened the way they did. but sometimes when i'm alone it'll slam back into me? and ill be so fucking curious about....... why and how and what. and what that letter she wrote to me was.

it had been comin for months and we both knew it i think. but just. i wasn't able to keep baring my emotions honestly with her. it HURT and. like exposing that vulnerability was just asking to be held and she. didnt want to or wasn't able to

i miss understanding her. or maybe understanding someone that well? i'm sure covid has really. made things so much harder on me re feeling connected with people but god like. she wa awful but she let me see the awful and i knew her inside out and we could share a look and know what the three was thinking

i miss that a LOT i miss communicating secretly in crowded rooms with just a look

that makes what she did worse, of course. like she knew how to rip out my guts and pulled the trigger on her cronies to put the plan into motion and it was CRUEL

and every second i spent loving her HURT but in a way i knew and understood. i know that pain i have rammed myself not that self forged sword over and over because its easy to love someone you know wont love you back. the risk isnt there the reward isnt there its just the longing and BABY do i know how to pine

i think i was hoping to shake it off for fourth year and really .... let urself meet people

not having a plan for after school has made it kind of terrifying to think lol never meet people again. which is SO blatantly not true. i ADORE people and i'm fascinated by them and theres people ive met in the last month that feel like they're on my wavelength!! i know theres always going to be more people and more friends and i'm going to keep making them

i just. i want to try being in love i think. like REALLY actually try. even typing that is scary as hell but. :/ i'm an aqua w mommy issues what do you want from me

i know myself so much better than i knew myself with her. and i not know if sh saw me or the person i was trying to be for her or the person i saw myself as or? but. it really doesnt matter.

i hate that if she knocked on my door i'd still let her in. i hate that i'd ask if she was okay. i hate that i'd drop everything to help her if she asked, even now even after everything. because that loyalty belongs to love stories and ours was never that.

I think i'm getting brave enough to try being loved. i think i'm understanding myself to know why my apple heart will always have a bruise the shape of her smile on it. i think i'm able to forgive myself that.

in one ways i'm glad classes are online becuse i genuinely dont know what i would do if i had to see her every week and open my mouth and be near her. even at the end of second and third year i was... really close. REALLY close to grabbing her when she walke by all wrapped and burrowed in her five hundred scarves trying to wrap herself in borrowed softness

she has a kitten now and she has a house and she has no urge to reconcile and i know that. i KNOW that. i see her in zoom calls more than i'd like and shes always in the exact same corner of her room shes carved out for herself.

i dont think i'm still in love with her. not really. but i'm... changed by her. and i'm changed since her. and im mutable and forceful and growing.

this year hasnt gone how i expected it to. obviously. but our friendship really didnt either. and i have to be at peace with. not knowing the future all the time and grasping at straws. and improvising. and girls not hugging me because they're terrified ill read more into their simple touch, even when i'm sobbing on the cold grass. i knew you'd never love me back vicky that's WHY i loved you. a stupid hug wasn't going to change that.

i do think thats what todays funk has been. partially at least. i'm overwhelmed and overworked and feeling like a bad child and scrambling to ignite some element of drive in the last two weeks of term. and trying to ignore my pining for a love story because i know i still cant make myself vulnerable enough for it to be worthwhile to someone else. also i hate dating apps i wont do it.

i really want to cry today but i haven't managed it yet. i keep reading gut wrenching stuff trying to force it but. the dean kin hasnt hit quite yet.

or perhaps its hitting FAR TOO HARD lmfao

at any rate. journal over i think i'm feeling a little better i'm going to try working on my comic i'll maybe pull an all nighter to feel something lets go baby

[brycetaylorblog]

Disregard & Diminish

Artwork by Charlotte Allingham @coffinbirth

This blog is titled ‘reflections’ meaning, there is no agenda, though always a purpose. Stemming from pure emotion and honest thoughts...

 As of right now, I feel drained.

 Drained from stupidity, drained from hate, drained from sheer incompetence.

 Any Indigenous person who has been online or present for any discussion baring any relevance to Indigenous Australia whether the context is negative or positive understands this feeling. It's insidious, and it makes you ask yourself what is the point?

More so for any Indigenous person who has made significant strides to be proactive and break down systems so that they can then be rebuilt into something of benefit to our kids, rather than systemically diminishing their worth as it has over generations, and across the world for many marginalised people.

We all deal with these feelings differently, me?

I try to take negative energy and channel it into something positive by way of learning. Thinking about what I know, what I've experienced and how I can turn ideas into a practical strategy, that when applied can really contribute toward solving problems that affect our people.

Generally, I like to learn from people who have been around longer than me and have tried and tested methods. So I turn to a Ted talk, I want to try and see who's doing what and how I can apply that to what I'm doing. I stumble across this woman.

 Dr Monique W. Morris | Award-winning author | Social Justice Scholar | Deadly Woman.

 Her, talk: “Why black girls are targeted for punishment - and how to change that”.

 This is something important to me as I am trying to gradually introduce education for students around respect and relationships. Given that I am not a girl nor woman, I feel it is a necessity to first, understand these perspectives when developing programs. Second, that I can find the right women to support the needs of our girls where it is not appropriate for me.

I need to listen and learn from people like Dr Morris, and every female if I am to be serious about the outcomes I aim to achieve.

She goes on to eloquently contrast the positive outcomes for her personally as a result of a school system that knew how to adequately respond to her needs. By contrast, many girls of colour, unfortunately, experience the opposite. (This can be exemplified to a shameful extent in Australia, hence the work that needs to be done.)

She speaks to the structural inequities and the individual misconceptions that make up many educational institutions. The result is that schools are generally not a pleasant place for many girls of colour. However, as a point of difference, Dr Morris goes on to highlight strategies and foundation points that can make an attempt towards valued change. I'm not going to be a spoiler. But as an educator my key take away from her presentation was this:

“It might seem like a tall order in a world so deeply entrenched by the politics of fear to radicalize schools as places where girls can heal and thrive, but we have to be bold enough to set this as our intention.”

-          Dr Monique W.Morris

 I felt that there was a lot to take away from conversations like this, both thought-provoking and thoughtful at the same time. Identifying issues, followed by strategy.

Unfortunately for naïve Bryce, I made the mistake of thinking that an internet comments section in 2019 might have more thoughtful, productive input (its YouTube bra pull ya head in.)

In short. I was wrong. The comments ranged from “the divisiveness of identity politics” to comments questioning the girls in question’s actions rather than paying attention to the cause for the frustration a point I try to highlight as frequently as possible.

But that’s just the real world, and everyone is entitled to their opinion, right? Yep, they are. But opinions are like movies, some are a lot better than others and actually follow a coherent plot.

It is this, that is the main issue with the way society treats women today, and especially women of colour.

Because in this instance we can all observe an accomplished doctor, years’ worth of achievement in a specified discipline, speaking of her experiences as a black woman, presenting her findings as an academic, and elaborating on her outcomes as an active participant of social justice.

From A to Z she has covered every conceivable standpoint to be considered somebody who knows what she’s talking about….. I mean to me? A black woman talking about being a black woman seems like a valid qualification on its own without mentioning years of study and research to go with it….. But this wasn’t enough, hence the problem.

When boys and men of all backgrounds, all ages and all walks of life feel entitled to question an accomplished doctor speaking about her own self, her own experience, and her own professional field, what is it exactly that would legitimize anything that she has to say?

Disregard and diminish.

Any time a woman speaks about being a woman.

disregard and diminish.

Any time a woman of colour speaks about being a woman of colour

disregard and diminish.

When Tupac said:

“Might even know hard it is being a woman, and a black woman at that (shit) in this white man’s world”

Objectively, speaking that is all a man should say when a woman of colour speaks of her experience… “Shit”.

Because as men of any background none of us know what that’s like, but when you listen to the experiences and thoughts shared, they are all consistent. African girls, Indian girls, Asian girls, Middle Eastern girls, Island girls and of course my beloved Indigenous sisters.

We don’t know. We don’t know what its like to have your aptitude weighed against your physical aesthetic, what its like to make a valued point in a work, office or educational setting and have it almost instantaneously undermined because it challenges the safety of righteousness that many of us as men confide in. “I'm a good guy I'm not a misogynist I should be held to high regard.” - No, the reality is that you are purely a functioning member of society and that standing idly while vulnerable girls and women are undermined makes you complicit, and ultimately accepted as a standard.    

Women don’t expect us to agree with them, they don’t expect us to put them on a pedestal. They want one thing, Respect. That’s the bare minimum, yet most crucial thing we can offer. I’ve taught grade 6s and grade 7s who understand that.

We know the consequences … Of what happens … When we neglect girls and boys who are vulnerable. Yet, by contrast very few are willing to change the systems that allow this to happen. But this is perhaps the most important point I can make. Social systems are not automated robots, they are made up of individuals. This means that the more individual people who object to the comfortabilities of ‘business as usual,’ and apply their independent values of equity and respect to all aspects of life from personal to professional, then real change will push through the cracks.

“There has been a revolution, the pavement has been cracked…. Now is an evolution, our job is to push roses through those cracks so that only beauty can flourish.”

[bmd933]

My first online story!

Well I wrote this for my slavegirl, but I thought that maybe some other ladies might like to read it too. I blatenly stole the idea for the scene from the Last Tango in Paris, but made it our own through the rest of the story. Ladies, if you like it let me know!

It was a quiet evening at home. Your week had been plagued with many days where your libido wained and we were both a little frustrated. I had been horny, like always, but I had given you your space. You wore your steel collar.... lord knows I would never let you go collarless around my house, but I had relaxed your nakedness or lingerie rules. We seemed almost like a normal couple, me sitting and watching some stupid military drama, you crocheting away making a scarf or hat or something else for your store.

My voice broke the silence between us. "Slavegirl, go get me the butter from the fridge."

My voice was calm and sweet, like you would ask your lover for a soda or some other beverage. It was a strange request and you looked over to see what I wanted. I had my eyes back on the television, ignoring you completely. Annoyed, you set your hooks down and headed for the fridge.

The tub of country crock margerine was what I meant by butter. My southern way of generalizing sodas and other products under one name had always struck you as odd, and you had no idea what I was going to put the margerine on as I hadnt asked for bread or anything else. But, you knew better than to disobey, and you picked up the plastic tub and walked back into the den.

You approached me with the tub held out before you, offering it to me as you stand next to my chair. "Put it there" as I point to a spot on the small table next to the chair, "and strip naked." My tone is the same, friendly indeferance towards you.

Your jaw dropped open at my words, and your little cunt flushed at my words. "Master?"

"You heard me little girl, dont make me repeat myself."

You blush crimson but are smart enough to obey. You know what happens when I have to tell you more than once. Your corn pants and t shirt are off in seconds, and your pretty red gstring came next. You start to peel your socks off and I stop you with my voice, "Leave them little slave, I wouldnt want you to be cold. Stand at attention."

You stand up straight with your legs spread, fingers laced behind your head. Goosebumps cover your flesh as you grumble in your thoughts about how considerate I am to let you leave your socks on while your nipples harden to diamonds in the cool air.

"I know you havent been in the mood lately, and I have been generous about giving you space. But today, I am taking what is mine. Straddle my lap, face away from me, and then lean down towards the floor with your torso between my legs."

You move to comply, worried I may decide to spank you. The only other time I put you in that position was to do just that. You climb onto the leather recliner as gracefully as you can, but there is no avoiding the awkwardness that comes as you lift your legs up and around my waist as you lean forward to the floor. My strong hands grip your thighs just below your hips, and pull your cunt tight against my crotch. My cock is rock hard through my pants, held up against the fabric. You let out a little moan as you feel it, your little clitty waking up for the first time in a while.

"Which hole is mine little slave? Which hole do I not allow any other man to touch?"

"My anus, Master" you say like a good girl.

"Thats right little slave." You feel me reach to the table and look back over your shoulder in time to see me open the butter tub. I dip two fingers deep inside and scoop out a generous ammout.

"Spred your ass" I say, again my voice calm and friendly.

You reach back to comply, straining a little to hold your cheeks open and expose your most vulnerable points. The cold butter is a shock as it touches your skin and you jump a little but my left hand holds you firm. My two fingers begin working the butter into your anus, slowly letting it warm to your skin, spreading it around and into your tight hole. My fingers start sliding into you, slowly but firmly pressing through your sphincter and loosening it up. The slow and steady pressure feels good, and you begin to moan as the fingers begin to fuck you.

Just as the fingers find that sweet rythem, just as you are starting to moan and hump them back, just as the climax inside you is starting to build, I slip them out. Your muted squeel lets me hear your frustration and lets me know your lack of labido is gone, at least for now.

"Get down on the floor, on your belly. Spread your ass wide."

You slide down betweem my legs and get into position, the thick rug prickley against your skin. You expect me to pounce quickly, taking your ass hard and fast but I stand instead.

"Look at you, you little anal slut. Look at you on the floor, ass lubed up with butter, holding it open in the hopes that I will fuck it. Is that what you want? Do you want me to fuck your ass? Tell me! Tell me how much you want a man to fuck your ass."

My words hit home. Your rational mind is appalled! You, a professional woman, with two great careers, respected in both fields, laying on the floor with an anus greased with butter waiting on a man to fuck her stupid. But your cunt says otherwise. It is betraying your rational mind shamelessly. It knows what it wants and needs and craves and begs for. It is gushing, the warm wetness running out between your legs.

The cunt wins the arguement...."Please, Master, please fuck my ass! It is yours, Master, please take it with your cock!"

I bend down and set the butter tub right next to your face. "You lock your eyes on this tub of butter. I dont care how much it hurts, how good it feels, or if the fucking world comes to an end. You will not look away from this tub of butter until I am done fucking your ass. Is that very clear?"

"Yes, Master!" And your eyes lock on the tub like your life depended on it. Your rational mind was screaming at you, telling you to get up and run screaming, but your little cunt liked what you were doing. It liked it a lot.

You feel me step between your legs and hear as I shed my clothing. Then I am on you, covering your little body like a bull does a cow. Smothering you with my weight as my cock probes around your ass. Finally my head is lined up, and the pressure against your anus lets you know I am about to take you.

"Who owns you?"

"You do, Master!"

"And who owns your little anus?"

"You do, Maaaaaassssst...."

And the rest was lost as I firmly thrust inside you, from the tip to balls deep in one long, slow thrust.

Your voice turns somewhere between a cry of pain and a moan of extacy, the two feelings comingling as only anal sex can make them. My hips go to work, thrusting in and out, pinning you flat to the ground while my stromg arms hold your head, your hair, and everywhere else.

Rutting. Rutting is the only way to describe the way I fucked you. Animalistic need pinned you down and took everything it wanted from your body. You begged to rub your clitt to make it easier to take, to help build your orgasm. My voice growled in your ear, "No, take your fucking, slave!"

That did it......you didnt need the clittoral rub any more......the balls slapping against it were enough, and the firm hand on your collar let you know I gave my permission. You began to scream as the wave broke, orgasming over and over as my cock pistoned inside you. It went on and on, cumming like never before. But the screams pushed me as well, and my orgam broke in deep, bone shattering thrusts that threatened to rip you apart.

My cum was warm inside you as I lay on you panting, my weight lifted up on my arms so you can breathe. I roll off you and pull you under my arm. I kiss your forehead and whisper, "Mine!" as I lay there recovering.

After some time, I say to you softly, "Go and draw a hot bath. Perfume the water and kneel next to the tub until I am ready. You are going to bathe us and then I will put you to bed. You did very well little slavegirl."

[lifelux360]

The sustain of Sales Training: Learning How to buildup Selling Through Customer Skills

One of the main foster of sales training is increased profits for owners and employees alike. If over and done with correctly, sales training can be a vital asset to any company. So, why is it that therefore many corporations fail to reach their sales training goals? right to use upon to learn the unidentified to well-off sales training through advanced, science-based customer further skills

  Does the later than scenario hermetically sealed familiar?

  You saunter into a promising supplementary business- perhaps as the owner, a customer, running personnel, or a devotee of the sales team. The brand extra hoard is gleaming from floor to ceiling. The shelves are stocked considering high-quality merchandise. Online presence is growing. realization seems just a few more sales away. But higher than that auspicious exterior, something is wrong. Sales pretend is alongside and nothing- not a bright amassing makeover, not a additional pedigree of the best products 2019 has to offer- nothing seems to help.

Thats because the pain isnt products. It has nothing to realize later than online presence or the overall aesthetic of the store. Rather, the problem is in the sales service. From dwindling of customer edit all the artifice down to closing the deal, salespeople continue falling quick of financial goals that are set for the stores and themselves. In fact, statistics project that at least 71% of further salespeople will fail to achieve company and personal financial goals within their first year of employment. This statistic proves that the matter has less to attain subsequent to the salespeople themselves, and much to attain following their training or the deficiency thereof.

click on furniture

    The fixed idea approximately the Sales Training Process in 2019

The sales environment has distorted drastically as a result of other platforms and opportunities. But more opportunities make an increasingly competitive market, meaning that even seemingly secure corporations are vulnerable to shutdowns, cutbacks, even bankruptcy. More than 600,000 extra businesses emerge each year, and of them, approximately half will fail in their first five years of establishment. on the new hand, on your own 15% of the companies named in the first S & Ps top 500 list are still upon that list today, proving that once-fruitful businesses are failing to keep occurring past competition.

  Given the abovementioned stats, its high epoch people reconsidered how operating their sales programs in fact are and how they can augmented formulate their budgets for that reason that sales training equals vanguard sales. As it stands, the average company lonesome spends approximately $2,000 annually on training their sales staff. They often goal out pardon resources and services or they turn to content taken out of webinars from so-called experts who are merely guessing and have no genuine insider training or knowledge. though a pardon online program that salespeople can admission from the privacy of their own homes might seem subsequent to a fine idea, the real repercussion from a program taking into consideration that is often disappointing at best.

  According to Analytics, irrational decision-making is one of the top reasons corporations of every substitute sizes fail. Does it seem logical to spend tens of thousands of dollars hiring sales employees isolated to refuse to train them properly? The definite is, sales training and fee can create or fracture a company. Research shows that if we have enough money our salesforce afterward the tools they dependence to near upon sales, everybody wins- from the owners to the managers to the sales employees. In order to get hold of such tools, a professional training program is absolutely necessary.

  At The Furniture Training Company, we would know. Weve been in the concern of boosting matter for 23 years. Our execution and satisfaction rate is 95%.Were known to deposit sales for companies by 10%-15% upon average. Our unnamed is simple. We never guess. We always accomplish sales through science.

Click here to learn about our training programs and courses or to get into our updated privacy policy, terms, and conditions.

Understanding Science-Based Solutions for Sales

  There are scientifically based solutions for everything. This includes sales and marketing. Where pull off people go to learn those? Heres a hint. Its not an internet website or blog. You wont locate them through a pardon online course. Even experience doesnt teach these techniques. The best area to learn them is through well along education. Yes, its true. Getting a PHD in industry principals that are proven and researched capably is a great pretension to combine sales. Of course, it would understand years for every single sales person on the team to buy their PHD, which is where we arrive in handy.

  The Furniture Training Company is a team of sales training professionals who each holds a PHD in this field. The key to our sales training program is that we teach each client what we know very nearly the science of selling. 95% of our clients affirmation that our programs create this science easy to understand. Our respected admission is centered on:

Best practices

Leadership

Learning sales tactics that are proven to work

Gaining perspicacity into customers- their thoughts, patterns, and purchasing habits

Introduction to additional seller technology

Confidence

Social tips

Strategy and growth

  The Effectiveness of Professional Sales Coaching

An intense psychoanalysis conducted in 2015 by CSO Insights showed that professional sales coaching that meets or exceeds expectations can approvingly impact an direction in all of the in the manner of ways:

Increased Product Sales- Across the board, companies subsequent to training programs that met or exceeded expectations experienced an average 8% sales increase. Its notable to citation here that companies who made use of The Furniture Training Companys unique formula had even sophisticated results behind an average accumulation ranging from 10%-15%

Lower Employee Turnover- This is important too, previously most corporations spend upwards from $15,000 training further employees. Here, its simple to look that spending more upon better sales training yet means spending less overall, since the turnover rate is considerably belittle later than salespeople begin making their quotas.

Higher Win Rates- More than 52% of companies later than sales training that exceeded expectations then experienced complex win rates.

  Effective Sales Training essentially is a Win-Win

If youre in search of an avant-garde showing off to complement sales and be active and deposit company moral, dont hesitate to email The Furniture Training Company today at thefurnituretrainingcompany.com. Learn more just about the incredible science of selling.

[mewts-guide]

Insight: Big Red Strawberry

Big Red Strawberry

Well, this one has quite the story.

I started writing the lyrics on Monday, February 17th, 2020. I was sitting in the car waiting on my uncle who was somewhere else taking care of some personal business. I had brought Frank Herberts’s The Dragon In The Sea, and I had only read about six to seven pages, maybe less. I was trying to read into it more but there’s something about the whole military viewpoint in Science-Fiction that just doesn’t do it for me. I had felt this was with Heinlein’s Starship Troopers, and ultimately dropped the novel half way through.

Anyways I started humming in my head, with my laptop being at home I didn’t have any real way of remembering the melody other than remembering the notes of the words, so to be fair the lyrics really only came about because it helped remember the melody. With the lack of a note pad or a piece of paper, I was forced to write down the words in the back of Herbert’s novel, I figured it could have been more useful as a notepad since I knew I wasn’t gonna read it again any time soon.

As time passed, I continued to play around with the notes, or so, at this point I was actually having fun writing the lyrics and no more became a thing about melody but to actually express myself.

It was at Cafe Rio that I decided the name of the song.

On the television screen, company propaganda or whatever you want t o call it was doing its best to convince me that the restaurant’s ingredients was as fresh as it gets. I say propaganda because I personally feel it’s a selling method. Not saying that fresh is bad, but it seems to be a major selling point these days, which is good! In one segment of the video, a man was shown pulling a giant red strawberry, but just below that strawberry there was a small green strawberry.

This had me thinking and I was even laughing to myself. Things like, This song is like that strawberry, its ripe! It’s ready to be picked and enjoyed. This is not that puny green strawberry, but a big red strawberry. My own thoughts would soon change though.

The music is simple. Standard synth wave drums and drum and bass syncopated snares after the first intro. I was dreading writing the music when it came to because I had never produced anything that would use vocals as its base, and I have the tendency to over do it with the synthesizers often cutting into personal frequency space which leave me cutting certain tops or lows in sounds and just snowballs into a whole different problem as a whole. So I aimed to keep things simple.

This is where things get difficult for me.

I had released a first draft demo and was generally excite about it and was even open to the feedback I knew would be waiting for me but I was taking this as it came. I have to say that all the feedback was positive, and though that sounds like a great thing, something inside me knows more or less that hearing good things about the things you do, especially in music, doesn’t always do good.

I honestly believe that we are our own worst critic. Theres always room for something better and always improvement, your best is not enough. So I pushed myself harder to improve what I had built in a day.

Now, Tuesday afternoon, and I was feeling really off with the song. Something inside me was telling that I shouldn’t go though with it. I couldn’t put y finger on what it was that was keeping me from expressing myself like this. Maybe it was the fact that I had never expressed myself like this before and it made me extremely uncomfortable to know that I was telling people about a time that hurt me. Im sure the friends that I have had around since childhood will find this as normal behaviors because we have seen [plenty of things  endured not by only myself but all of us. I’ve been conditioned into believing that talking about one’s feelings is wrong and a sign of weakness, and I find it funny that at almost every tike I’ve tried to express my emotional state of being I’ve been pushed back into my own head by people who I’ve been listening to express their own sorrows and worries for years.

It’s liberating to express yourself this way. It’s a dreadful  feeling coming to accepting things I’ve kept to myself for a long time.

I feel naked for letting people into my head.

I’ve never had a problem with my art or my writing, because I felt that the stories and characters were so far from my own truthful reality that people wouldn’t connect the two. It was a safe place for me to lie not only to myself but to anyone else looking in.

This leads me to the meaning of the lyrics.

I fucking hate to say this but this is about a girl. I hate to admit this because I always hated those songs. Now, I think maybe it’s because I could relate so much that it was hitting a bit too close to tom for me. I don’t like actually being vulnerable. 

There are two parts of the song that stick out to me more than any other in the song.

“I knew I’d fail even if I tried.”

I think during that time, I was so scared to make mistakes that I made the biggest mistake of them all. Like walking into an antique store with caution only to stumble on your own discretion. I’d say it was a lack of confidence. 

“… Is this the way you say goodbye?”

This one isn’t so much about me. It’s about her. There was no real goodbye and I’ve noticed something of a trend in society, especially on social media that though there is an over abundance of people, no one is talking. Now this is only from my viewpoint I’m not saying that this is everywhere and everyone else condition is like this. There is a meme though that I know you know what I’m talking about when it comes to being left on seen. It’s called ghosting.

It’s pretty much ignoring someone that says leave me alone. This is the way we say goodbye today. Thats fine, I’ve picked up that this is proper online etiquette and is totally normal. Right?

Don’t get me wrong, this story goes deeper on in my end. 

I seriously feel fucking lame for doing this song because this experience was long ago and it didn’t go anywhere for me to feel this way, and I think I don’t feel so bad about it as I did when I was sixteen. The thing that gets me, thats really bothers me is the dreaming. During the day I don’t drift off into her anymore, unless, I’ve dreamt about her, which happens every now and then.

They’re always the same dreams too. Talking like we knew each other.

Anyways, I’m not gonna go further into it and I hope you come to your own conclusions when it comes to the song. Thats the fun part of music too.

If you’ve taken the time to read this, thank you! 

[alegendarystudentwonderland-blog]

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Where can I get the cheapest motorcycle insurance with tickets?

I am 20, and have 4 tickets on my record...3 disobey traffic devices and 1 seat belt ticket. They were from 2 years ago..I am a new rider and I took the MSF course. I just bought a 2008 kawasaki ninja 650r. Progressive gave me $231 a year with no collision or comprehensive(I am ok without having either)...Can I do better than this? Where should I try?""

Insurance for 16-20 year old Male?

Hello all, I am currently 16, and i have my drivers license. I am on my parents plan and i pay about $100 a month for full coverage with my parents cars. But here is my real question, I have been saving for a while (5 years) and i have enough to buy a car i have dreamed of buying for a long time. So i am going to, but my question is what would my insurence be if i did? the car is a 2002 BMW M3 SMG. It has 76,200 Miles on it. I am paying $20,000 for it. I am going to buy it weather the insurance is $1,000 or $100. I have a job and can pay for $1,000 if needed.. so if anyone knows a estimate of what it would be, let me know. If it helps, i have had my drivers license for a month. Also after i buy it, i may just not drive it, if it is too much $$$.. so if it would go down for me when im say 17-20 let me know how much =] Here are some pictures of the car: http://picasaweb.google.com/evanesterman/2002BMWM3SMG# Thanks""

How long does it take to get auto insurance?

if i apply now how long will i be able to get the insurance? im a new driver and i need insurance 4 myself. i need to drive a car with insurance before may

What is the cheapest insurance company for georgia drivers under 18?

What is the cheapest insurance company for georgia drivers under 18?

How much does school bus insurance cost?

my friends and i are pitching in to buy a school bus. it seat 22 people, and we are just wondering how much insurance for this might cost. what do busses usually insure for?""

""I'm looking for a good, affordable car, can you help me?""

I'm 16 years old, soon to be 17 and I'm looking for a car. I don't have a ton of money to spend on a car so I'm also looking for something cheap. I like the 2004 Chevy Malibu a lot however I want something that is automatic. I guess now I'm looking for something similar to the malibu just automatic. I'm planning on making a $2000-2500 down payment on the car so like I said, I need something that's not to expensive. I'd like a car that's the same size as the malibu and possibly a car that somewhat resembles the malibu as well. Anyone with any suggestions, comments, or whatever, I'd greatly appreciate your help here. Thanks in advance.""

Car insurance for a teen?

I was wondering if a minor can have their own insurance plans, like not under their parents name? And what is a good company for car insurance for teens (cheap) ? Thanks!""

What is the average cost of health insurance?

I'm doing homework and I need some help. What would be the average cost of health insurance for a 27 year old? The monthly cost would be the most helpful.

New Car/ Insurance.?

I just got a new car, and my mom needs to put me on her insurance. We are with State Farm, will she just go in and say what car it is? or will I have to go in with her with the car?""

How do mexicans look for auto insurance in Mexico?

When you live in Mexico, do people use yellow pages, local independent agents, online websites..how do they go by buying auto insurance? Also, what is their biggest problem when coming to the usa and looking for auto insurance, aside from the language barrier?Are the coverage similar, do they have a trust problem, etc..what would be the most helpful thing a US insurance company could do for them? Thanks for your help.""

Average insurance price?

I am a 19 yr old female. i am married and owm my car not financing it. it is a 4 door autimatic 1994 nissan sentra. 1.6 liter. is there and average ball park guess as to how much my insurance may be? im just now licensed and have never been insured or had a ticket

Classic car for a teenager?

Coming up to my 17th birthday soon and i need to buy a car. The sort of car i like is the plymouth cuda 1970 opel manta 72 ford cortina 72 chevy 69 So that kind of muscle car look. However being a teenager i am limited to what i can drive. What would be a good buy and something i can get insured on. Hope you can help Thanks :)

""How much a month is the average homeowners insurance payment on a 100,000 home?

Thanks

Free car insurance quote?

What is the best car insurance quotes & rates site to get free car insurance quotes from? Simpler the better!? I was wondering if you guys would be able to shed a little light on the simplest free car insurance quotes sites out there for U.S. citizens specifically?

What insurance quotes car auto online?

what insurance quotes car auto online? i want to know about this.

Motor trade insurance?

I am looking for motor trade insurance that will insure a 19 year old as a named driver, my father has 6 years commercial no claims discount, he will be the proposer and i will be a named driver. has anyone recently been insured or knows a insurance company that will insure a 19 year old please let me know, much appreciated thank you. I have been quoted 2995 with motrade, but i am restricted to 1600cc engines with (no turbo with petrol) but i need to be able to drive bmw 320d. so a minium of 2000cc.""

Advice needed on Car Insurance?

I'm a 18 sixth form student who is learning to drive. I am currently looking at getting car insurance to make it easier to pass and then for afterwards but what would work out cheaper? - Get insurance on my mums car fully comp, as she doesnt want it wrecked! - Or buy a cheap little car for under 1000, and then insure it third party, to get my no claims bonus. Just ideas would be appreciated as well as advice. Cheers!""

Do I have to pay for insurance on a moving van rental?

I want to rent a moving van from Uhaul. They won't let me rent the van unless I pay for their insurance coverage. Is that legal?

How much should i be paying for car insurance.?

im not sure if im over paying or not.. if i pay in full for 6 months up front it will be 700 dollars Im 22, married, and have only 1 speeding ticket that i recieved a year and a half ago.i have nothing else on my record I drive a 2002 eclipse that has been insured for 3 years straight, and i live in a small town with hardly any crime.""

Can you drive someone else's car if you do not have insurance?

Say, I don't have insurance nor a car, but my boyfriend's parents would like me to drive their car to help run errands for them. Their car would be insured and their permission would be granted for me to use it. Would this be okay?""

Insurance on a 2004 nissan 350z?

OK... I'm a 17 yr old male, have a solid part time job during school and full time I'm summer... I have found a 2004 Nissan 350z tourister with 58,000 miles, the owner is asking 10,000 for it it great condition... I would be putting 3k down and financing the rest... I would like an estimated price on monthly insurance... I'd be with both my parents and 4 other vehicles I believe, I don't know if its possible but any estimate is good... Thanks""

What car insurance company has the policy that you insure on person but anyone can drive it and be insured?

What car insurance company has the policy that you insure on person but anyone can drive it and be insured?

Insurance on a Audi R8?

Well my plan is to get a Audi R8 with 5 years of driving this year, but how much would insurance be if i buy the car used with say 20,000 miles on it and the year is 2009, and if possible what would the insurance on a 2011Audi R8 new ? Seriously i just want to know i dont need to hear your if you ask u cant afford it and what not, so be mature, and just answer it if not f**k off.""

Health Insurance Florida?

is there any health insurance available for a 23 year old in the state of Florida I make $600 a month but I don't have much leftover after I pay bills and the free clinic is always very crowded I can never see a doctor and I know my health is very bad so is there any health insurance that is similar to Medicaid I used to have that when I was a kid and you were able to see a doctor with that I am hoping to find insurance that's is affordable and doctor offices will accept thanks in advance

auto insurance quotes comparison illinois

auto insurance quotes comparison illinois

""Male vasectomy requirements in california,and does cigna cover it?""

i want to get a vasectomy,made up my mind 100%,main reason is cuz i don't want to end up a financial slave to any women,and would relieve alot of stress from my life.i am 24,from california,never had any kids,can i just go up to the doctor and tell him that,or do i have to stretch the truth and make up a story like i have 2 kids somewhere in mexico or something like that?i make about $24,000 a year.i know they also charge for vasectomies based on your income.also does cigna insurance cover it?""

Insurance Cost Starting Driver-?

Statement of Facts: 16 (soon turning 17) Good Grades, above B, honors Several after school activities (Student Council, if that is even relevant) Impeccable driving history (no infractions) State of Residence: Maine Rural/sub-city? Insured under fathers plan, also clean record (51 and 1 ticket?) Alright, I'm currently under my fathers policy and am driving his vehicle to school and back. Soon we will be purchasing a vehicle for my own, and I have a few questions. To be frank, I am looking at mustangs. Not v6s, but GT v8s, preferably standard transmissions. Dad's biggest problem is insurance, which is understandable. My question is how much said insurance would cost/ raise his existing policy? -I like this model because I want a vehicle with performance. When I think of performance, Muscle comes into mind. The quintessential of this and most feasible is a mustang. Many older versions (such as 1990's, early 2000's) so they are affordable, and I just like them. Also I know a considerable amount of knowledge for my age about vehicles due to helping in my grandfathers garage past summers and many weekend projects.""

Insurance for a motorcycle in Toronto.?

I am an 18 year old Torontonian planning to get a new kawasaki ninja 250R. It would be a great help if someone can give me an idea of about how much it would cost me for the insurance coverage the ninja 250r. (Both basic as well as other plans.) I don't have a license yet which i am planning to get once i figure out everything.( the cost, insurance procedure etc etc.) Here in toronto, we don't have the luxury to ride two wheelers year round because we have so called the FRIGID TEMPERATURE during the winter. Do i still have to pay insurance during the winter regardless the fact dat i won't be able to ride my ninja during the winter?""

What motorcycle security products give the biggest insurance discount?

Hi there, I'm looking to buy and insure my first motorbike in the nest few weeks so have been getting some quotes from insurance companies. There are so many chains/locks/immobilisers and alarms to choose from I am wondering what people use themselves, and if they can make a big saving on insurance prices. My insurance is obviously high as it's my first year, but I would like to try and keep costs down and also my bike secure :) Thanks""

Am I paying too much for my car insurance?

I am a 23 year old male, I am driving a 08 honda civic LX and I am paying 150 dollars each month. Right now, my insurance is with Geico and I am getting the best discounts, student discount, anti airbag, defensive driving course and etc. another thing I have full coverage on it. so is paying 150 dollars the right amount, is Geico ripping me off. or are there any other car insurance that will charge me cheaper? Thanks""

How expensive is taxi insurance?

I am thinking of running a taxi for the first time. How much more expensive is it to insure a taxi than a family car. I have full no claims bonus and a standard 5 seater car. I pay about 400 for a peugeot 406 as my family car

Is there a life insurance company that insures the mentally handicapped?

Is there a life insurance company that sells coverage for a man with learning disabilities? Thanks so much.

Can my parents put my car under their insurance so it's cheaper since I'm 16?

I'm 16 I have my permit and I have like 2 more months to go till I can get my license which is finally coming since its been a long wait. And after the 2 months end school starts and I'm going into my junior year and at this age everyone is driving already so please don't hate or any negative attitude here on that. And I'm responsible etc and work hard in school so that's why my parents are getting me a car I want and they've been saving saving into my bank account since I was little. But that money is for me. But the car I want is the 2013 Camaro ZL1 and it goes for $40,000 around there and don't blast on me about the price I'm not wanting a $100,000 car and its my first and last car I'm not gonna switch through 10 cars 1 is good enough and I like sports cars because of their look, and performance, I like smooth cars. But if my parents get that I know insurance is the thing that everyone has problems with because of pricing but since I'm 16 and the car is a sports car and all I was told it can be thousands for the insurance but what if it is under my parents insurance will it be way cheaper? And what does it mean if the car is under my parents name and not mines what is that? Will I still be able to name my plate?""

Passing a drug test for life insurance?

I smoked weed rather heavily for about 5 weeks over the summer, and now i havent touched it all for about 5 weeks, am i going to be clear for it? Before those 5 weeks i smoked VERY rarely (once every month or 2 months). Also i smoked a couple packs of cigarettes in the past couple weeks...how long will it take for me to get the nicotine out of my system (also smoked VERY rarely before last couple weeks)""

Car insurance for test drive?

Planning on buying a car soon and was thinking of buying a second hand one from a dealer rather than privately from a person. I read that when you buy a car from a dealer you are usually automatically insured to take the car for a test drive, however I was wondering does this just apply to brand new cars from car shops or do most second hand car dealers offer insurance for test drive as well?""

Where can i find cheap health insurance?

My girlfriend just recently went off of her parents health insurance and is having trouble finding a full time job. She can get it through her part time job but she doesn't think she can afford it.

Car insurance please someone help me!?

I need to get a drivers abstract for this job I'm applying for....I have a speeding ticket which took 3 demerit points, but I'm pretty sure my insurance company hasn't found out....this was about a year and abit ago and my insurance company told me when renewing my insurance that its clean......if I get this drivers abstract will they find out and want to charge me more? And do companies really care about a speeding ticket 16km/h over?""

Does Lowest Quote Wins really lower your insurance to $15 per month?

I saw one of their ads on a car today and was obviously intrigued. How legit is it?

How do i compare insurance companies?

My boyfriend is the sole souce fo income for teh two of us right now (and for teh forseeable future), do to a medical issue i am dealing with. and that brings up the issue taht we would be in a world of troubel if he is hurt, or if he dies i would be in trouble. So we are thinking about getting him life and disability insurance policies. But there are so many companies out there, it seems daunting to research them all. and if i were to use a broker, how would i knnow they have my best interest in mind? so i was hoping people could share their knowledge and experience in this area. any tips are helpful! any stories (good or bad) about yoru experience with a particular company are great as well! Thanks so much!""

How much worse is your insurance if your vehichle is red?

How much worse is your insurance if your vehichle is red?

Where can i get cheap car insurance?

The cheapest i have found to be is Nationwide

How much would my insurance be?

I am a 17 year old male and I'm looking a getting a ford mustang. I am trying to get a 2008 v6 4.0 L convertible is my car insurance going to be rediculously high?

How to fix a speeding ticket and no proof of insurance?

I am a California resident in LA county. I got a ticket for speeding at around 80mph when the limit was 65. The cop pulled me over and asked for all the essentials. But i could not provide the proof of insurance even though it was in my glove compartment because the place was kinda messy. I found it after the cop left. Anyways, I got a ticket for speeding over 65 and no proof of insurance both marked non correctable. I know i can't contest for speeding, but can I somehow fix no proof of insurance? If there is a way, what are the steps?""

How much would insurance cost for a 2005-06 mustang?

i am 16 and want a mustang how much will insurance be for a year compared to the average car... also i wont have a big engine....the car will be 14,000 or less""

Can I get decent car insurance through Aetna?

I have them as health coverage through work. I just moved from FL to DE and my insurance through Geico DOUBLED!!! I am trying to find a better rate.... any ideas? Thanks

Cheap car insurance companies?

I just turned 17, and im gonna be learning to drive soon, but once I have learnt to drive, I can't afford the insurance""

Online insurance quotes?

I've been surfing the web for insurace quotes. I am a first time car buyer and I am only 16. I want to find a site that can give me a very basic quote, like an area I can be confident in. I DONT want to have to enter my email, phone number or anything else of that matter. Just quick, simple and, well, general. Best site to meet my private requirements? Thanks""

Best way to file claim for Allstate home owner's insurance?

My husband and I have minor storm damage to the roof over our master bedroom. And now water has managed to get into the wall and is making the sheet rock bubble up, as well as causing cracks in the ceiling in that one particular spot. Allstate sent an insurance agent out and they said that after our $1,000 deductible they are only willing to pay about $400 over the cost to fix it. So...should I get a contractor to assess and give me a quote, and then re-file a claim with the insurance adjuster? If so, how should I go about doing that?""

Will my insurance go up that much if I buy a Camaro?

I currently have a 96 Pontiac Sunfire and I have Erie insurance which through them I have liability only on my car and my rates are $60.00 a month....I am 18,19 years old next month and I found on craigslist a guy who is desperately wanting to get rid of his camaro and is willing to trade it straight up for my sunfire,as he and his gf are having a baby and she wants him to get rid of his toy....now this camaro is a 95,fully loaded automatic,t tops, leather interior etc...and my sunfire is the basic model,manual windows,locks etc....so obviously Id be making out very well in value....now I am on my own insurance and my mother chewed me out when I told her about me maybe trading for this camaro...will my insurance go up THAT much?""

How does malpratice insurance in Boston compare to the insurance in Dallas? ?

For an obgyn? Just trying to plan my future.

auto insurance quotes comparison illinois

auto insurance quotes comparison illinois

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