#thats my son dont be weird about it :c

[moeblob]

N O .

(Magikarp colored Ferdinand + Mega Gyarados colored Byleth)

[gumy-shark]

okayh okay HI you said you wanted to know about the freedom/passion dichotomy thing? ive got the graph and i am going to do my best to explain this to you despite me barely having a grasp of it on myself. THIS IS VERY LONG IM SORRY.

so the first thing you need to know is this just started as a way to split my ocs and help me make character arcs and motivations, and it became a little bit of a habit to categorize my favorite characters this way as well. its is in no means a perfect dichotomy, and im constantly looking for ways to refine it, but for now the best way ive found to illustrate it is this:

basically its which think they represent most... or what they value the most? idk its kind of a case-by-case basis and is dictated by Vibe. like I said THIS IS VERY FLAWED so bare with me pls

when i first started watching lmk i sorted all of the characters i knew into either category. this was within the first four/five days are watching so some of it might be.. off? but i think its still worth something as my first impression of the characters, and it'll probably help illustrate what i mean

Wukong -> Freedom Macaque -> Passion Wukong and Macaque have this thing where one has too much freedom and is learning to temper that with passion (wukong) and the other has too MUCH emotion and is trying everything he can to gain true freedom (macaque) (this is true even when he isn't under LBD's control but is esp prevalent then). they each value the opposite thing they stand for and are trying to be more like the other, without even realizing it. MK -> Freedom Dont get me wrong! He very much has passion! He holds a lot of emotion in that body! but a lot of that passion is the passion for freedom. he just wants to be able to be himself and hang out with his friends, he doesn't do well with all this responsibility :C Mei -> Passion Does this need defending? High sense of duty (mainly towards her ancestors and her friends), and so incredibly passionate. and impulsive. She spits fire when angry! Nothing more to be said honestly. Red Son -> Passion Is a really good parallel to Mei, has too much passion to fit in his body. [In the original notes, I noted that he was 'scared of true freedom, but doesn't know that yet. I'm pretty sure this references his relationship to his parents? Smth smth he's too scared of making them angry so he doesn't explore who he is outside of his relation and loyalty to them?] Pigsy -> Passion this man doesn't need freedom when he as his passion for food. what does he need to be free from? he has everything he wants HEART EMOJI! Tang -> ...Its complicated The thing with tang is that he kind of gets like a character arc with like. Responsibility and his care for his friends? He goes from low passion/high freedom to low freedom/high passion over the course of the show. please note that i am insane about him and if i really wanted i could write a whole essay about him. Sandy -> ??? ONCE AGAIN ITS WEIRD. I WISH THE SHOW FOCUSED MORE ON HIS CHARACTER AND BACKSTORY BC I CANT GET A READ ON HIM.

okay thats the main cast, and HERES THE ALIGNMENT CHART ACCORDING TO THAT. WITH OTHERS AS WELL.

theres not a lot of people without any value of freedom and passion at the same time so the grey area is pretty empty LMAO.

ANYWAYS. I BROUGHT THIS UP TO BEGIN WITH BECAUSE OF THE CHARACTERS WITH EYE SCARS TRIFECTA!!! Basically i see them all of how i described macaque earlier. He's trapped in a situation that he doesn't want to be in, whether it be LBD's control or his situation wiht wukong or his own creepy and standoffish persona/his trust issues making it hard to make real connections with others.

(in contrast wukong loves doing his own thing and just Hanging Out and never stopping his own momentum, but he also has trouble caring about... a lot of things actually. he's just soo easygoing! responsibility harshes his vibe!)

But anyways, macaque's problems are very similar to quackity and tempest's, i feel. Quackity constantly feels trapped by physical threats like techno or dream, and also his own circumstances and trauma (a lot of it from schlatt and manburg). a lot of his actions are him trying to reclaim the freedom he used to feel when he was younger. tempest felt she couldn't be truly herself without her horn, but in trying to get it she got herself in a really bad situation where any wrong move could get her killed.

The passion part comes in play in different ways for them all. Quackity tried not to care about people for a while, but still can never stop being extremely loyal and protective of his friends. Tempest had lots of rage inside her and was so intensely driven to get to her goal. And Macaque canNOT stop obsessing over wukong honestly. All three of them are very passionate, and all three of them are constantly trying to gain more freedom.

This is a super long ask, but thank you for inviting me to ramble about this lmao. I think everyone represents freedom or passion in their own way, and this dichotomy really only matters for characters BUT I THINK ITS FUN. THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TEDTALK!!!!!

i had a whole Thing written out and i was so proud of it and then my phone decided to delete it before i could post and not save as draft. but yeah im putting this chart in the microwave and then eating it and then putting it in the fridge so i can keep it overnight and microwave and eat it again. this is so fucking Good. in their attempts for freedom macaque cquack and tempest all disown the people they were when they Were free, bc they want to be unbound entirely, but they Feel too deeply for that to ever be a possibility for them. so they do the next best thing and try to pass those "lessons" they've learned on to others OUGH it makes me sick!!!

[weirdcat1213]

AJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJ HAPPY DAYS AJJAJAJAJA :D YEY TRIGUN BOOKCLUB :D

THOUGHTS :D

chap 1:

-happy days and everything is going to shit...yeap thats trigun

-i just noticed they have separated rooms and that makes me sad for some reason

-i love to see that rem was nice to everyone but was also getting annoyed by that guy, shes not perfect and I LOVE HER

-ngl, im not sure if the other guys did something

-its so cool to see the scientists joking around for a bit but then getting to see them in silence cuz IT IS a weird situation to be in. you are alone in space and something happened "on its own"..... It makes the situation more serious

-LMAO HER FACE I LOVE HER SM

-it hasnt even been that expanded in 98 (im sorry for the spoiler ig) or stampede (YET), but rem is so funny. shes more than a living saint and im glad we get to see more of her here. shes the only mom ever

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RIGHT

-also i thought knives *fixed* the thing, i forgot he caused it lmao

-arent they adorable? :3 pls dont touch them :3

-"it could end in disaster" you dont say....you dont say....

-NOT THEM SAYING YES IMMEDIATELY I WILL CRY

-BABY KNIVES WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU (ik what happened to him)

-"if you can love someone with all your heart then its alright".........im gonna take so time to think about that cuz....yeah, i guess thats true isnt it?

-oh that doesnt age wel...not even story wise but life wise....if we could only talk with each other

-ok so...is that a fucking ghost? and if it is, did she really appear when knives's faith in humanity was at its peak? really :c?

-OH ITS MY TIME TO GET SICK :D

-OK NO THATS SO INTERESTING CUZ HERE IS VASH WHO IS CURIOUS ABOUT TESLA AND WANTS TO READ THE REPORT BUT IN STAMPEDE (spoilers coming im sorry) IS KNIVES WHO WANTS TO READ IT. DID HE LOSE THIS FAITH *WAY EARLIER* THAN TRIMAX KNIVES??? HOW TF IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?????

-great....scientific....discovery.....you say......... so the scientists were ready for another tesla situation....

-pls no pls no pls no. you teach her how to speak and then you do that shit. stop

-by looking at the pictures and descriptions we can say that the scans began on her 13th day of life (multiple scans as the chapter mentions), and 87 DAYS LATER they started to ask themselves if that was correct to do from a moral standpoint...87 days. and just after they started to question themselves she started dying. just 10 days later...fuck

-"we have no desire to rest" WHAT ABOUT YOUR "SUBJECT" THO ASSHOLES

-its never not gonna make me sick how they killed a child in 100 days. thats all it took.

-ajjjj :c im fucking sick

chap 2:

-same vash same

-ily rem but no, thats too fucked up to forgive

-knives, my poor baby :c

-"i wish i could cut myself from everything too" oh mood, i mean what

-ok but rem trying to pick vash up and he refusing has to be so fucking heartbreaking for rem cuz thats her fucking child no matter what

-imagine your child who loved you so much rejecting you like that. i would literally shatter

-"you can continue the experiments with us" vash stfu i swear. catch me actually crying over that line btw im not ok

-INTERESTING how rem says she felt powerless (and i get why) but during the whole thing the crew had so much power over her life

-it fucks me up this is a one year old trying to die of starvation. yeah he looks older and etc etc but hes still less than 2 years old. life is pain. why nightow.

-also idk if im interpreting the panel right but i think he *was* going to eat but saw rem in his room so he stopped

-or are those different days? idk

-alright, today you are eating you sick son of a bitch :]

-NO STOP THAT YOU FUCKING CHILD

-the panel being blurry on purpose, 10/10

-hes sitting the same way rem did- oh im ending it all

-i feel kinda weird saying this but i just fucking love that story: the metaphor, how she tells it. it really feels like a parent trying to teach a kid something. its sad but feels comfy. i could literally read/listen to her telling that story of the train in her dreams over and over

-[pause for crying]

-its "separated ways" cuz that talk with rem lowkey divided rem i think. knives would be way different if he had heard what rem said. damn it why did he had to faint

chap 3

-"king of loneliness" pls i want to stop crying

-i know he didnt block the memory, i feel it

-yey creepy knives is here....yeyyy....

-amazing transition btw, gives me the yibbies every time

-HES RIGHT THO MF, YOU ARE AFRAID

-why he looks so cool while being creepy stop it knives stop it

-idk if im understanding it right, but i think knives did the thing he did in the first chapter but for all ships. it comes full circle

-god i hate when hes right

-im sad to say he looks beautiful and epic. also for the life of me i could not say if that plant agreed with him or not

-yknow what i think she didnt agree to that

-age of chaos wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii :D

[i took a one day break cuz the volume made me too sad BUT IM BACK BABY]

chap 4

-yeah ig my baby has been to so many funerals if you think about it

-YEAH TO THE RESCUEEEEE

-wolfwood: you dont wanna mess with this guy he will break you

the guy in question: :c

-aw his cute little and stupid face :3

-i love to see vash having a good time :') god he needed that

-oh man we're getting sad again

-also yes they take those people who did whatever they did but the bartender is also taking vash in, even the demons get to drink there huh, nice

-why tf is this guy so wise, why is he saying what vash (kinda) needs to hear? amazing, im devastated

-wait so the feathers or whatever hurt??? because of the face he made. SO DOES IT HURT???? NO :C

-knives can you not-

-ITS HIM IN ALL OF HIS FUCKED UP GLORY :D

-SHUT UP VASH, GEESUS

-the final panel its so cute and then there's the fucking speech bubble that says "dumbass" its true tho xd

chap 5

-NOT THE FUCKING FEATHER i dont want to go there

-he looks so tired :c

-oh shit i forgot about that panel of his face wth

-OH SHIT WOLFWOOD NO

-OH THATS CREEPY AS HELL YO WHAT

-"the last thing i want to do is be a burden to him" STFU WOLFWOOD AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-SHES HERE OH SHIT OH SHIT

-"youre the one who needs to be careful" I WILL CHEW GLASS

-FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

-OH GOD OH NO ITS HIM GET OUTTTT

-elendira ily sm

-thank you wolfwood for saying trans rights lmao

-HES ASLEEP. KILL HIM VASH KILL HIM

-oh no his glasses :c

-ah fuck hes awake noooooooooooo

chap 6

-LEGATO IN THE METAL HANDBAG :D WHAT WILL HE DO

-dont you bring tesla into this >:[

-idk whats happening but KILL HIM

-*sigh* i hate when knives is right

-DONT YOU DARE SAY THAT AFTER STAMPEDE MF :C "if they come for us lets just run as fast as we can" YOU ARE MAKING IT SO HARD TO READ THIS MAN

-also yey he regained his eye :3

-:cccccccccccccccccccccc im so happy that talk was in stampede

-also yeah vash hates knives with a burning passion but EVEN THEN he still was willing to give him a chance and live together with him, i cant do this anymore really

-im picturing legato kind of jumping in his metal handbag to move around as if he was in a sleeping bag cuz i think thats way funnier lmao

-:cccccccccc vash pls

-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :c his armmmm

-oh geesus oh god no OH HELL NO

-ohhhhh i see. look at legato being useful lmao /J

-THE ARK IS HERE WOOP WOOP

well that was certainly a volume

[menalez]

hey i just wanted to say thank you for talking about your SA. i actually had a very similar experience w/ a guy i was really good friends with in high school.

he was my best friend, but i got pressured into dating him by my friends, family, his parents. (his mom guilted me into being w/ him 🙄 practically stalked me til i said yes)

he ended up abusing me for nearly 3 years.

and in that time i wrote stupid notes or letters to him making sex jokes cuz i was a KID. the lawyer we hired blamed me for his actions bc of the letters bc of he did 🤦🏻‍♀️

but even still, some weird part of me misses our friendship that we had before other people started meddling in our business. it makes me feel guilty sometimes, and other times it's relief. iunno trauma is weird.

uh but yeah. thank you for sharing, i know it's hard to talk about and be open with this sort of thing. i just wanted to say that you aren't alone as a lesbian who wrote dumb things as a kid or who missed/misses what friendship you had before your friend SA'd.

i think it's also extremely fucked up for people to judge your sexuality based on the way you tried to cope in the past, let alone now.

just know that a lot of women, myself included, really appreciate you being here c:

hey thank u for sharing ur story with me ❣️ honestly the thing that rly hurt about it looking back is it was in a v vulnerable time in my life. i rly had practically nobody. i lost almost all my friends bc i was suddenly a "whore" for getting raped. i would get these messages on all my social media accounts like "you deserved it" "you were seducing him" "haha hes living a good life and youre cutting yourself looooooooool pathetic!!". my friend group went from a lot of my school (small school but its normal for bahrain) to like ... 4 people in bahrain. one of them was that guy that had a crush on me since we were like 11. he would stand between me n my rapist and went to the principal about it so that i would have lesser proximity and was one of the only people who seemed to empathise w my situation. i felt quite indebted to him n everyone would repeatedly call me an idiot and tell me i should be with him and my mom would say she wishes he could be her son in law or w/e and at one point he started insisting that we are together despite me telling him no we are not & that i dont want to be w him. i gave up on saying no eventually n just went along with all of it. i felt like i was stupid for saying no ??? ppl kept telling me i was n i was like huh i guess i am. never said no again rly, up until the very end where i could no longer ignore it n keep putting myself thru any of that. after leaving that situation i saw how fucked up it was that there were all these obvious signs and me obviously signalling TO HIS FACE that i dont want to be w him, that im not interested in him, that it was further traumatising me n harming my mental health, and also the times where what he was doing would fall under SA....idk i felt stupid for facing one male friend taking advantage of me and then another one doing it soon after right in front of my face n i thought it was somehow different and normal and ok simply bc i wasnt getting downright threatened. but i know if someone else didnt hear my rape story n tell me "uh thats rape and thats fucked up" to begin with i wouldve also probably let that happen again n again too n not thought much about that while getting traumatised until afterwards too.

anyways... im glad that ur out of that situation. im sorry that we have some shared trauma there. shit like this is why i dont even trust "nice guys" anymore fr. i dont think that many ppl can rly understand that sort of situation and i can get how its confusing, bc it was a confusing time for me too. but idk why they think theyd know better than me about my own life either lol

[bugflies00]

last post was very ctommy focused because im a c!inniter in my heart and it jumps out when im not . in my right mind. but then i felt bad for kinda ignoring ctubbo’s stuff SO CONSIDER THIS THE PRE-FINALE CTUBBO POST !!!!

LORDDDD i think what struck me the most with ctubbo in these past three streams has been. how normal, and so how different from how its been recently, he sounded. quite a bit is due to cctubbo having a cold and so his voice being different, sure, but beyond that he was just. acting frighteningly normal. not even putting up that blank, logical, clinical front he used to when in a traumatic situation like this. not sobbing or screaming, not cold and analytical, just. frighteningly normal and i think that was even scarier. like it particularly struck me when tommy was exposing his plans of self sacrifice and while his voice shook and he full on cried at some points and he sounded erratic and haunted, ctubbo sounded… like very underwhelmingly upset, like if tommy announced he had to cancel a trip he wanted to go on or something. like he was upset but not. heart wrenchingly so. and that in my opinion made the whole thing so much scarier because ctubbo is clearly under so many layers of denial, only repeating ‘but i dont want that!’ and ‘there has to be an alternate solution’ in a relatively upset tone. but then those layers of denial start to crack & crack and when they’re on the bench it sounds like it’s actually just hit him and he keeps repeating how pretty the sunset is and pointedly ignoring how likely it is he’ll be friendless, husbandless and familyless apart from his son by tomorrow night. and at that point when he’s talking about the sunset his voice sounds Actually. real. (again, could just be cctubbos cold but like ignore that)

also the NUKEEE PLOOOOT DIDNT GET DROPPED BABEY so happy about this. and we saw SNOWCHESTER

and the way he didnt. mention cranboos name Once. fucking Once. not when they were talking about those that died.  not when they were talking about people who could possibly be revived. i dont know if thats still the weird ccbeeduo radio-silence thing but im choosing to also ignore that for the sake of pretending its ctubbo still under heaps and heaps of denial and repression of grief he won’t even speak his husband’s name. better option than hypothetical minecraft youtuber drama tbh

maybe a small thing but. he kept pointing out the bees :)

[zuffer-weird-girl]

inconvenience (Chisaki fam Au)

"Im starting to feel like motgers dont get any privileges at all..." you all but whined while resting your head on one of your hands with a pout as your husband arched an eyebrow at your moody state.

"Eh?"

"I spend nine months getting nauseaus and wishes of weird food only for Kaito to come as your copy?" You giggled while making your poiting at signalizing at the four year old boy staring down at a book with the same stoic expression Kai normaly wore 24 hours at day.

The man besides you scoffed, dropping his papers down on hos lap only to stare at the child. The little boy noticing tge two pair of eyes staring at him and soon showing his tongue to his father monotously, making you laugh and Kai's eye to twitch.

"This little-"

"What happened?" The boy muttered innocently while closing his book about animals and walking towards you two to climb on and hugging you while exchanging looks "Did I do something?"

"Asides from showing your tongue to your daddy I guess nothing." You giggped while carresing the dark brown looks of your son as he closed his (E/c) eyes with a satisfied sound.

"You've been reading this nonsense for about two weeks now." Your husband spoke while snatvhing the book of the boy's hands and looking at it like it was the most gruelsome thing in the world.

"Hey! Is the only good book I have!" Kaito exclaimed with a pout as you couldn't help but giggled at how similiar those two looked like.

"Nonsense. You have at least kore than ten already you brat."

"And I read all of them." Kaito grumbled while crossing his arms.

"In your age I would read articles when I was bored out of my mind, not keep reading those childish things." You deadpanned at your husband, considering Kaito was still 5 years old, of course he would still read child's books.

"I am a normal kid different from you daddy." Kaito spoke numbly as Kai's eyes sharpened at the audacity of the little five years old boy.

"Why, you little rascal-"

"Ookkaayy!" You interviewed before the two entered on a argument "How about instead of fighting we just go and get a new book for him?" You suggested with a smile as Kaito's eyes widened with a sparkle on them.

"Huh. Doesn't sound so bad. But does he really deserve something after all he done?" He asked sarcasticaply while looking at Kaito whose made puppy eyes at him.

"I made uncle Rappa trip and fall downstairs."

"You WHAT?!" you almost screamed as Kaito only shrugged.

"... Alright. Forgiven. You deserve a treat." You gaspes at your husband words as Kai smiled cheekily.

"DONT INDULGE HIM WITH THAT!"

.

.

.

"I liked this one." Your boy picked a coloured book while he spoke throigh his mask.

"With images?" Your husband arched an eyebrow as Kaito nodded simply while opening to show his fatger the story of the man whose stole from ricb to give to the poor.

"You want mommy to read it to you at night or do it by yourself?" Yoj asked with a smile, crouching down to wait a response from your son as you notices the little smile of glee at your suggestion.

"Both! With daddy too!" You giggled and carresed his hair as your Kai usually shatp and cold stare turned into something more softer... Kaito had indeed developed a liking for listenjbg to his parenta read and help him on qords he couldn't quite pronounce yet. And he did noticed thag besides being a total momma's boy, his son did actually rather have him to read something despite all the little quarels they had with eachothef now at then.

"If you actually behave I might think about it." He answered with a sigh as he walked to pay for the book as Kaito stared at his father for a bit then at you.

"It was a yes from daddy right?" You snorted and nodded, picking your son up as he hugged his new book yet leaning on you. Getting down after he demandes a peck on his forehead as Kai scoffed at the how clingy your son could be when it came to you.

After leaving the little store Kaito tried to open his book to say some words in hopes he could get some praise from his father and you before you three had to stop at the signal and see one of the top 10 heroes pass by along with his partners.

You could fell your husband getting tense and felt his hand coming towards your waist and pulling you to him as he narrowed his amber eyes to the sign of at least five heroes showing off on the streets.

"Such inconvenience." He hissed in disgust as you furrowed your eyebrows at him "Spreading their sickness like that in the wild open. We might as well all have to take a shower and sanatize ourselfs not only due to this stupid virus but by this as well."

"Well," you sighed as Kaito furrowed his eyebrows at one little word at the book and trues to slowly pronounce like his father had taught him "we do live in a society where heroes are almost worshipped. We cant do nothing about but to just... accept it and evict?"

Your husband tsked and started to walk along with you as Kaito gasped poked the word on the book.

"Arruw!" Kai bitted back a chuckle and correct the boy's word for the actual one "Dang it.. a..arrow. Arrow! Do the yakusa have arrows papa?" Kaito pointed at the weapon as Kai sighed and shook his head, about to explain until you stopped at the sign of a young pro hero whose gushed at Kaito.

"Ow your son is such a cutie pie! How many years does he have?" The young woman gushed as Kaito immediately seemed to not be on his happy mood amymore and just clinged onto your leg and gripped your hand tighter as Kai's eyes narrowed at the young hero.

"Thank you. Last month he turned five and couldn't stop talking about it." You answered politely as she crouched down and smiled sweetly at Kaito.

"Hi! Nice to meet you! Im Uravity, what is your name sweety?"

Kaito stared at her with a unreadble expression before he mumbled something through his little mask that left you and your husband with wide eyes.

"My daddy says you heroes are incovenienvent. I dont like it."

Your face burnes in embarrassment as the girl was just a tad but shocked before giggling at your flustered state, mumbling a thousqnds of apologies as for once you gpared at your husband for trying his best to not let out a chuckle at his son's attitude.

"Everything is okay ma'am really!" The young girl giggped as you bpwed to one last time "Every kid can be a bit handfull or just doesn't simpatoze easily with others, we respect that!"

"Im so sorry." You said one last time in utter embarrassment as Kaito inly arched an eyebrow at your state and petting a confused sound when hsi father crouched down to pat his head with a 'thats right son they're all dirt.'

Now the poor little boy was confused. Had he really doen something bad for his mommy to almost scream an apology to that woman or not for gis father only be praising him?

What...????

[blookmallow]

Can you do a rating on child animatronics like you did with the clowns

i sure can

welcome to animatronic nightmare preschool

theres a trend ive discussed about spirit before where all their female animatronics tend to be either the “old hag” type, or “creepy little girl” - and now that im thinking about it i actually couldn’t think of any boy characters ive ever seen. i dont know why this is exactly. theres something to analyze there but im not really sure what it is. i found a few but almost ALL of them are little girls. i dont know what to say about this but i did notice it 

there IS a boy in this group though: 

ring around the rosie

enter the ritual 

just some nice kids having a fun time. it may be cliché at this point but i love the “spooky nursery rhyme” trope anyway (and y’know, ring around the rosie was already creepy to begin with. im not sure if the theory that it’s really about the black plague is actually true but its still highly questionable to include the line “ashes, ashes, we all fall down” in a childrens rhyme with no explanation either way) 

for some reason the fact that none of them have hands and its just their sleeves tied together is really funny to me and i dont know why. they also dont have feet and im not sure if its a technical limitation for convenience purposes or if they’re supposed to be little ghost children but it definitely comes across like they’re little ghost children who tied their sleeves together to try to feel like they’re holding hands which is very cute. 10/10 big fan of this one 

i already mentioned harriet hustle in this post, shes fantastic 

angeline

i LOVE this one shes SO cute

i dont really understand how she's supposed to be scary, the description is like "she'll scare the lights out of your guests" or w/e but like, she's just. a kid who can see ghosts. she herself isn't even a ghost. i like her id adopt her i think she'd be a fun addition to a graveyard scene 10/10

abandoned annie

ok technically this one is a doll but im counting her anyway, shes one of my FAVORITE spirit animatronics bc A) i love creepy dolls B) shes cute and most importantly C) her entire fucking face unhinges i need y’all to watch the video on this one its so good 12/10 ive said this before but animatronics that do something completely fucking unexpected are my absolute favorite 

broken girl 

completely batshit. horrifying. shes actually initially standing upright and then snaps backward and screams and the image does not do it justice i highly recommend the video for this one. not much there as a Character but as “really effective way to scare the shit out of someone” its, i would imagine, incredibly effective. 9/10

there’s also menacing molly who looks similar and has the same kind of “facing away from you but then snaps backward” scare but is on a swing and sings “I see dead people, I see ghosts ����i see the things that hate you the most” before she does her jumpscare which is incredibly funny to me 

double trouble

creepy little girl trope meets creepy twins trope, at first glance i thought this was just like, discount grady twins (which it looks like they also have, in blatant knockoff form. they’re uh, not good) but it looks like their description backstory is that they killed their mother and disappeared with their rumored-insane father so its slightly different. one of their phrases is “daddy says we have to play outside :( he doesnt want any more blood on the floor” and i love it 

they have a pretty good sense of personality and character to them even if its not necessarily groundbreaking. 7/10

ellie hatchet 

i love this one bc so many of the creepy little girl animatronics are just pretty much standing there being creepy but not ellie. she’s fucking DONE with all of you. you come near her she will swing an axe at your face. 6/10 not really a big stand out but i appreciate her undying rage 

lunging lily 

shes spooky. she jumps out at you. thats about it. i dont really have anything to say about this one. that sure is a creepy little girl that jumpscares you. i like that she goes “help me... help me...” before she jumps out but i feel like it would be hard to get the timing right for that to actually work as a lure to make guests curious where the sound’s coming from since most of these are motion activated. anyway 6/10 shes just not very interesting 

johnny punk 

one of the rare boy characters, i have actually seen him in store and just completely forgot about him because he was that uninteresting. he doesn’t really do much and his backstory on site is just like, “He's got a nice house, loving parents and a severe attitude problem.” 

like this isn’t an undead child back for revenge against those who wronged him or a crazed circus runaway or anything. he’s just a bratty kid. hes like a 13 year old who just saw Joker and has decided to make it his entire personality. this comes across less as a threatening figure and more just like some shitty kid who thinks he’s cool. i glanced at the comments on the wiki page and it turns out absolutely everyone hates him which is completely hilarious to me 

2/10 nobody likes you johnny go do your homework and apologize to your mother 

i also found limb eating zombie boy, who is considerably better 

gross. bloody. would probably be pretty effective if you had him like, placed among some boxes or something so people dont see him at first and aren’t expecting him there. pretty standard zombie. i dont have much to say. He’s Fine. 6/10

mommy’s favorite

ive seen this one in the stores several times, I think we have her there now, and i just don’t. get it? she just moves back and forth with the “shhh” gesture and it’s like, ok, she’s vaguely creepy, but what’s going on here. she just says “don’t wake my mommy! she’s been sleeping for a long time!” so i guess the implication is that her mother is dead and she doesn’t understand, which is just sad rather than scary. the description says she makes mommy’s tea just how she likes it with five drops from the special skull bottle, which could imply she killed her mom, which would make more sense as a horror character, but if that’s How Mommy Likes It that implies the mother instructed her daughter to unknowingly poison her, which is horrifying but in a way darker sense than a spooky halloween prop lmfao 

anyway if i have to go digging into descriptions to try to figure out what this character is or what shes supposed to be or anything i just dont feel like its a very effective character design. and i did read it and i still dont really get it. 2/10 i just feel like im missing something here 

anyway there’s a bunch more variations of “scary possessed child” that are all basically the same, so im just gonna close this out with:

swinging skeletal boy 

allo there, guvna 

look at this dapper little victorian child im gonna cry he’s so cute 

he just swings but has this surprisingly endearing soft little voice which COMPLETELY contrasts the weird shit he actually says. hes this precious little skeleton kid with a sweet little voice who goes “your skin is so nice :) can i have it? haha. that’s okay. I’ll take it when you’re sleeping” 

absolutely love animatronics with that “wait WHAT did that thing just say” factor to them i love this guy 11/10 good boy my new son 

i would also like to mention that people are also continuing to dunk on johnny punk in this guy’s comment section too fsadkflj people hate that shitty joker kid so much their hatred has bled into other completely unrelated swinging children

[luminarytex]

FUCK YOU HERES MY GLATTBUR LORE/HC

glattbur has schlatts ram traits (ears, tail, horns, and hooved hands), as well as his curly hair and freckles/birthmarks/moles

for wilbur, they have most of his features, like his face (eyes, nose, and mouth) as well as hair (the length n part) as well as clothes

glattbur has a combination of both of their voices (think of malachite from steven universe)

theyre 6’4 and mostly float around (schlatt prefers walking so thats how you know whos in control body wise)

they talk to themselves* a lot when theyre alone*

* to each other

* with each other

philza n gang are workin on fixing their mistake but overtime glattbur just got used to being together that being apart would feel weird and lonely

(c!philza wouldnt care about their opinion tho he wants his son back)

it wouldnt be glattbur if wil wasnt there

theres ghostbur and alivebur, both sharing the same body (NOT mexican dream)

the two figures ghostbur saw was schlatt and alivebur*

so wilbur is also sharing a body with alivebur and this dude is a fuckin dick

*assuming that alivebur and ghostbur are seperate characters

schlatt and glatt are the same person since they both just break the fourthwall with no care (yesterdays stream for example “im canonically dead i dont wanna be back on this goddamn server”)

plus to that * when alivebur is in control it glides, rather than walk or float. also rather than bright glowly eyes n such its all an extremely dimmed glow. its voice is just likes wilburs but more montoned and angry/sad in tone.

alivebur grips at its horns as a way to calm/ground itself. it also does it when changing back into glattbur(or whoever takes control)

alivebur is a dick to everybody, not as much to techno(scary) and even less to philza(dad)

it always tries to punch tommy but glattbur is able to make their hands go right thru at the last second (ghostbur likes tommy and he doesnt want to see him get hurt again. glatt could careless but rather not feel the emotions of being sad about tommy.*)

*they share emotions- if schlatt’s sad, wilburs sad. if wilburs happy, schlatts happy

alivebur always tries to start a fight then push glattbur(or ghost/schlatt) to the front so they deal with the problem.

overall alivebur is just a dick when in control.

steven universe was in my head the entire time writing this, a good perfect fusion(that were somewhat toxic at first because glatt hated being back lmao) and a toxic fusion (its just alivebur in control of ghostburs body idk man)

[lasoonaofthefireembull]

Tee?

Son boy.........also my favorite c:

Favorite thing about them: I!! simply love him as a whole he is doing his best. He's pretty levelheaded where most the cast just rolls with weird stuff. He has also never seen a store before.

Least favourite thing about them : again nothing i love him i just wish he got to show up more ;v;

Favourite line : The entirety of his and ringo's goodbyes in both ppts/"THATS not a good reason! >:T"/ "Where the heck do we find the tetris king?" "Right the heck here!"

BrOTP : Surprisingly? Ess! I feel like since in ppt2 he can usually see thru the snark to what she's actually saying, they're actually pretty close. Sibling :D

OTP: Teerin. Teerin....brainrot. They live in my head rent free.

NOTP: again anything obviously weird but ESPECIALLY Ex. On top of the existing gross, I hc that man as his adoptive father so MEGA no thanks. Also teesquares. Please dont put the teen with the like. 10-at-most-for-his-species-year-old.

Random headcanon: Really light on his feet/good at climbing stuff.

unpopular opinion: Actually i am putting smth here! I dont get why people think hes an actual ruling monarch??? I feel like “tetris king” is more of a pokemon champion type deal.

favorite picture of them: in terms of official art? tough but this.

[transgenderer]

I've never heard of the kite runner, can I get a rant (neat)

yes okay so my very vague recollection of the book is like... so this upper class kid in afghanistan is buddies with the son of his parents servants, theres like a yearly(?) kite competititon, which the main character is excited to participate in, it requires a multi-person team so he does it with the poor kid (iirc he's named hassan, i dont remember rich kids name), something goes wrong(? this part is fuzzy) and hassan ends up getting like, sexually assaulted by some random bullies (i think?), rich kid could have done something but didnt, from then on he doesnt talk to hassan and soon ends up having to flee iran b/c of the revolution, flash forward like 20 years, he has some nice job in the states, hes crushed by the guilt of what he did, he goes back to afghanistan (i think maybe for...a funeral?), sees hassan and his family, theyre doing well, but then hassan gets killed by like, an accident or terrorists or something, and rich kid gets convinced by some mentor figure from the past to adopt hassan's kid and take him to the US, like, and thats supposed to be closure or whatever.

but like...i cant express it right but the story is just so focused on the rich kids guilt over this terrible thing he didn but seems like, totally uninterested in hassan? yknow, the victim in the whole thing? it just like, the whole thing is so exhaustingly narcissistic, and the characters are really bland, and hassan is just this perfect angel and its just like. it sucks! like, its viewpoint is just this narrow little window buit it doesnt even DO anything with it, its just like, some tug-on-western-heartstrings bullshit. like, it feels like a story *about* guilt, both about being rich and about doing something shitty, but it doesnt really express any sort of interesting idea about guilt, its just like "stew in guilt for your entire adult life and maybe at the end youll be deus ex machinaed into a convenient way to make it up to a dead guy". argh

okay now i gonna go read the plot summary on wikipedia to see if theres stuff i forgot

oh right so amir (rich kid) also separately fucks over hassan by framing him for minor theft to get him to disappear because hes so guilty about the rape thing. and also hassan really is like a ridiculous perfect angel. also, theres a stupid ass plotline where it turns out hassan is actually amir's half brother, also the childhood bully who sexually assaulted hassan is now in the taliban and using hassan's son for sex. god what a stupid cliche book. god. also amir goes back to afghanistan when he's called back from a wise childhood father figure, rahim khan, to rescue hassan's son and bring him to america

anyway MY theory, to make the book un-terrible, is that rahim khan was lying. its established thats a thing rahim does, hell lie to make you a better person, so my argument was basically that rahim khan knew he could use this guys guilt to get him to save this kid in a terrible situation, so he was like "hey this kid is totally hassan's son, definitely the son of the guy you fucked over and also he's your half brother" as a ploy to convince him to risk his life for this kid. and then it becomes this weird story about like, the way people's neuroses can be turned to good if you manipulate the truth to fit the narrative, and like, basically coopting this rich idiot to save a child as a cool wise yoda guy.

[the-pigeon]

from oldest post to newest i am going to read through all of @ranboo-comm621 ‘s post. by. @nightmare-rivulets . reactions because i think i might cry

‘tubbo helped me fix mine, for as long as he could, anyway’ i dont remember much about the 30day stuff but like. this is something about tubbo’s 3 hour time cap right YEAH i think that its ‘he’s out right now’ like passed out

tubbo and ranboo aren’t close :(

ranboo giving tommy amethyst :)

the barrier burns according to jack.. what is with him and fire? dumbass. also can confirm tubbo is knocked out not-conscious most of the time so thats fun for him i guess

‘the only person i really trust here is philza’ calling it now. bad idea

the person who seems happy... is that charlie :(((( do i have to read him die now :(((((

bonus because tubbo is canonically short.

the vibes of everything right now is saur interesting idk how to describe it but mare (hi assuming your reading this o/) is literally incredible at tone setting. everything feels so.. still. like you know those videos where cups are placed on the edge of a table and they’re fine but they’re on the edgebut like it’s fine. that’s what it feels like. it’s kinda scary

wilbur only talks to phil.. calling it now. they kill each other later

THEY DONT HAVE A SUSTAINABLE FOOD SOURCE these guys are fucked

uh oh i think charlie died

tommy knows about the timer? villain ctommy arc surely... let him be evil. HE TOLD US HE WAS A GOD EARLY ON HELLO?????????????

ok theory time so far tommy is a god, got bored, threw everyone together, knew tubbo would find a way to get them out, so limited his time to 3 hours a day. idk how accurate this is but only time can tell. unless tommy was joking about being a god

charlie is dead :(

tubbo is lighter than expected its because there’s no sustainable food sources oh my god please work on that youre ififiifdsiforefrehfriiiewf

30!ranboo is a capitalist confirmed /lh

ranboo trusts tommy the least my allium duo heart is in shatters JACK LITERALLY KILLED A MAN im o(-( honestly fair though, at least jack seems.. honest.

AMOGUS

yeah tommy seems super suspicious :/ is him disappearing like. logging off. im literally so intrigues by all of this ALSO tommy likes amethyst :]

‘tommy is just testing my patience’ oh em gee allium duo 💖

tubbo spent two of his three hours talking to ranboo. surely. they’re friends now. please.

ranboo imagines them in a different situation and thinks they still wouldn’t be friends... ohohoho if he only kenw.

philza called wilbur his son.. o(-( yeah they’re definitely gonna kill each other

no one has any memories but he feels like they knew each other.. tubbo seems like he remembers. im. pensive on all of this

making a note ranboo has a light weight rain jacket. may draw something later

CANE TIME YOOOOOOOOOO sorry that sounds weird i just. i need a cane but im kinda scared so its cool to see it yknow

THE NETHER?????!!?!?!?!?!!!

there’s no music.. :( wilbur and tubbo and jack sing and thats. :’)

YEAH THATS MY THEORY TOO!! they’re bugs in a container and tomym is the weird little girl poking holes in the roof and trying to burn them with a magnifying glass

HE’S KILLED SOMEONE WHY DOES HE REMEMBER THAT WHY THE FUCK SI THAT JSUT CASUAL HELLW ATSH WHAT IS HAPENGIN WHAT TEH FUCK HELOOO????

he doesnt remember who he killed. doesn’t want to talk about it. im.... whattttew whaaat the fuck is going on

sleeping on the floor near tubbo for the company.. fuck

another note that ranboo has black hair that looks brown in light.

tubbo and ranboo are friends now :] they’re not but in my head they are and that’s what counts :]

the vibes are off :/

the copper clock isn’t oxidising.. hmmmmmmmm its because tommy made it and he. waxed it. because he likes honey. that my bet

tubbo’s not waking up O-O

PENIS?!!?!??!????!??!?!?!!?!?!??!

wait is tubbo typing now?? omg..

TUBBO IS TYPING

tubbo and aranboo are so funny oeoeok otme PHILAND WLBRU ARE DEAD/????????? BTOH OF THEM??????????? ELFO WHT TE KO

tommy keeps saying he can fix it....

shit phil is gone. the only person ranboo said he trusted and the most responsible and the person he spent most of his time with im. holy shit it’s so. this whole thing is so fucked up and i cant stop readin it

bite god

omg tommy would kick ranboo <3 allium duo 💖❤💞

wilbur is back ?

OH RIGHT SNEEG SNAG IS HERE i wonder where he is. and what he’s doing. wilbur is indeed back but he’s not talking an dimmmmm. suspicious of everything. guess tommy did fix it?

it feels cold in the fishing pool area

tubbo doesn’t know how much he has to defend him 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 im gonna lose it are they friends yet im actually going crazy reading this.

omg he’s hallucinating.. he’s just like me fr

TUBBO AND RANBOO ARE CLOSER LETS GOOOOOOOOOO

sneeg snag

sneeg snag is discomforting :(

phil ghost 😳 this poor kid is gonna lose it like this. i want to wrap him in a. blanket. let him sleep on a mattress. 

phil said tubbo probably woudn’t survive long is actually pretty funny. he survived longer than you did dickhead

i’ve already mentioned the whole tone setting thing but im brinign it back right now because im legitimately worried rn. everything is just so concerning an. and im scared for whats gonna happen at the end. “thats hat makes me restless, knowing theres a chance to do something but never really fix it” holy shit

wish tommy would talk to him ......

time isnt meant to be exciting. what does phil know

TUBBO AND RANBOO ARE FRIENDS LETS GOOOOOOOOOO

wilbur’s dead again what the fuck. it was ranboo’s fault? god this poor kid. i dont remember if i mentioned it but he said the guilt keeps him up at night. fuck dude

he’s building wilbur’s grave o(-(

this whole thing is so fucked up. jack is gone, tommy is gone, tubbo’s defeated, ranboo’s tired. im :(

“i hope wherever i go, i can see tubbo and phil” what if i. died

he likes the sound of dogs

god that made me realise there’s no. no life there. no animals. barely any people. lot’s of people died. all the trees have been cut down. most people are living underground. it’s so hopeless. everything just feels. empty. this is terrifying

JACK IS DEAD????????????

there’s only four people left alive. sneeg and tommy are never around. he’s just alone.

“it’s a little terrifying to imagine that all this was for nothing” << TAHT’S WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT it’s all hopeless. that’s the tone that’s so. its saur.. holy shit. it’s like no matter how much they do, the timer will still tick down. they cant stop it. time isn’t exciting.

killed someone with blond hair.. drowning.. but not himself..

okay updates theory before the end, ranboo drowned tommy, killing him. tomym comes back with like.. god powers?? takes all his friends and traps them in a hopeless boundary, making sure everyone died except for ranboo until the very end. to like. torture him. idk if that’s accurate. but it’s my first thought

tubbo had a dream they were married. im gonna kill someone.

“i don’t laugh very often but tubbo’s a funny person” IM GONNA KILL SOMEONE

only a few hours left..

time isn’t meant to be exciting but you all were

okay im done and im distraught. idk if i’ll read the ao3 fic because it’s not done and i struggle to. read long things. but i’ll give it a day or two.

idk if mare is reading this but.. that was actually really fucking cool :O

[honesthammie]

Te amo

I am working on a few of the other prompts and a part 2 to prompt 4 the soulmate au I just recently got another puppy and I still have uni work to do so I'm a bit behind schedule with these and I'm so sorry. Hopefully this little kinda songfic makes up for it.

13th doctor x female reader

Warnings: swearing as usual, fluffy, sad thoughts, twist the original songs meaning, long as fuck.

Probably terrible as its my first songfic

I don't know much Spanish so some of the examples later on are Google translated and I know it can be wrong so I do apologise for any mistranslations

This is based off Rhiannas song Te Amo but I'm switching it up a little. I dont why 13th doctor came into my head when I was listening to it but it gave me this lil oneshot idea so enjoy! The picture is not mine but the rainbow effect added is done by me! Same for the picture later on.

I've been travelling with this amazing alien for a whole year now. The adventures are always amazing if she's there! The others sometimes complain and say its boring, especially on a junk planet but to see her face light up with excitement makes my day and it well worth the dirt we cover ourselves on by the time we are done. And when she finds something that she thought was useful and it turns out, it's not her scrunch is amazing.

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm in love with this alien. I know, weird, a human and an alien together? But I can't help it! I'm completely besotted with her. If she even looks in my direction, my legs go to jelly and I get butterflies. I know, cheesy. But thats exactly how I feel around her. I barely want to touch her because I nearly fainted the last few times. And I fear she may pick up on how I'm distancing myself from her. I don't want to break her heart and leave, the thought of her look kills me as is so I'm trying to get her to kick me off.

It doesn't seem to be working though. I've been distancing myself since I found out about how I feel, which is now 6 months ago and she's trying to get me to be as close as I was with her.

I'll tell her. On one of our amazing adventures but I can't do it straight forward, it's making me sick with anxiety just thinking about it. I'll fancy it up, make her work it out. Whenever we are next to each other and the moment is right, I'll tell her in another language!

I finally get out of bed after I finished writing in my diary. I slip some comfy clothes on and head out to the TARDIS library and hope no one is there, especially her. I'll be distracted and right now, I need to concentrate. I wonder the warm halls, grateful that the TARDIS had considered my preferences. I think the TARDIS likes me more than the others because I talk to her and show her gratefulness for taking us somewhere amazing and I chat to her regularly and I try to involve her in my conversations. The others find it weird, except for the Doctor, she just smiles and joins in with me. Im still learning how to translate her but I think I've sort of got it.

I reach my hand forward and grab the aged bronze doorknob and open to the giant room. There were so many floors that an elevator had to be used to access some of them as the Doctor said "walking would literally take weeks to reach some floors". Thankfully the TARDIS organises them to make them easier to find. I looked forward and saw an interactive map in front of me. My hands touched the screen and many subjects and categories came up. Anything ranging from kiddie tales to straight up smut, I have a feeling either River or Missy are to blame for that addition.

I've never met them but the TARDIS showed me videos from her database and brought books to my attention about them. They both seem very dirty minded people so I'm not surprised those are there. I wonder if the Doctor has ever stumbled upon this section or is it for none Doctor eyes only? If she does know about them, has she ever read one? No, don't go there you stupid brain! She probably doesn't know!

I quickly stop that train of thought and catch my breath. I've never thought about those kinds of things about anyone before. Stupid Timelord, making me go all weird and think dirty things. Now my face is all red, I really hope I'm alone in here. I quickly focus back to the task at hand, finding a new language to learn. The TARDIS seemed to know where to go and blue arrows appeared, guiding me to the right section in what could be a maze.

As I walking, I felt excitement rise within me. What if she felt the same way? What if she was impressed by how far I wanted to go just to say those 3 words? Would her hazel honey eyes sparkle with delight? Would she scronch her nose in amazement?

Before I knew it, I'd arrived at the language learning section and there were many alien languages but the TARDIS seemed to have a better idea of what would be perfect for me as a white hardback book fell off the 4th shelf onto the wooden floor. I picked it up and noticed how smooth the cover was and how old yet unused it looked. The white was a little off, almost a dull cream from ageing which made the gold writing harder to read. The title was simple:

Spanish basics and need to knows.

I did always find Spanish in school fun to learn, more than French or German anyway and I don't wanna stereotype this into a typical French is the language of romance. I never really found it romantic sounding compared to Spanish.

I picked up the book and quickly flicked through to the right page and took a note on my phone as to what the translation was and put the worn book away. I quietly thanked the TARDIS and rushed out of the library and back into my room where I could practice without getting caught.

A few weeks have passed since I picked up the new words and practiced them until I was confident and had the TARDIS' approval that I was saying it right. Today the Doctor wanted to take us to this party in the 18th century and we all decided to dress for the part once we landed.

Yaz was wearing a beautiful black and red ballroom gown, accented with little bows around the bottom and lace cuffs. She had her black hair curled into a ponytail. It was simple and cute, much like her style normally. Graham and Ryan wore similar suits but Graham wore green accents and Ryan wore yellow accents.

I let the TARDIS pick my dress. She picked a black and dark blue ballroom gown with blue roses on the bottom. It had black lace underneath and blue lace as the cuffs. The gown also seemed to glitter slightly in the light making me sparkle very subtly. I put my comfy boots on as you couldn't see my shoes as I walked anyway so why did it matter? With all the running we do, I'm not risking my ankles with heels, thank you very much. I had my (h/c) hair in (fave style). It suited my dress perfectly.

I nearly choked on oxygen when I saw how hot the Doctor looked in her suit. It took me a few moments to realise we match. We both blushed at the realisation. Of course the TARDIS makes us match! No wonder why she was more than eager to help me pick an outfit! Stupid sentient ship, shipping us already!

I quickly cleared my throat and complimented everyone on how amazing they looked but I just couldn't take my eyes off the Doctor for long. She was like a magnet for my eyes. Someone help before she realises!

"Don't we all look brilliant? Perfect for the party! 18th century Yorkshire to be exact! What a great century for you guys. Now then, this party is for Nobles and higher, as per usual in these times. Ryan, I suggest you keep in mind about any racist comments that may come out. But as long as you say your Graham's personal butler, you should be welcomed with little resistance. And Yaz, I want you to be (y/n)'s personal maid. That does mean you'll have to follow your so called "masters" around and do anything they ask unfortunately and Graham, (y/n), please act like the others around you and use them. Unfortunately this is the only way all 5 of us can join the party. You'll be fine as long as you bite your tongues. Now the Noble Edward Collins is the host so be sure to thank him for inviting you, even though you technically weren't. And try not to get too drunk, I know what you humans are like! Now follow me." The Doctor explained. I was going to tell the Doctor today, but I guess, I'll have to wait.

The Doctor opened the doors and we were in a cupboard under some gorgeous marble stairs. As we walked towards the party I noticed some family portraits along the walls. They were a very beautiful looking family. The mother had long blonde hair and pale blue eyes. The father was buff, long brown hair and daring brown eyes. There were two children, a girl and a boy. The girl had long brown hair and sparkling blue eyes, whilst the son had blonde hair and brown eyes. They also had a brown greyhound dog laying by the sons feet. The son must be the host, Edward. He looked not much older than 10 in the last painting but the daughter was no where to be found in the portrait and theu all looked mournful. Is she dead and is that the picture capturing the moment of grief? Why would anyone want that? It's so strange, even for this time period.

The Doctor held me and Yaz close, stopping us in our tracks. My heart was racing at the simple touch. But as soon as the touch was there, it was gone. "I hope its okay with you (y/n) but you're going to have to be married to someone."

My heart stopped for a moment and I nearly choked on air. "What? Why?"

"Because women like yourself would have been married as young as 13 or 14. Now your only choices are me and Graham. You can't choose Ryan as he's supposed to be a butler and you can't choose Yaz as she's your maid. The choice is yours, I just need to know wether or not I should refer to you as my darling wife or not?"

What. The. Fuck.

Why did her even calling me that l, turn me on? Obviously, I'm going to choose her but I'm going to have to perfect my reasoning here.

"As much as I love Graham, it's going to be awkward if I have to kiss him or anything because he's like my grandad! I guess you'll do Timelord. Come on then husband, we don't want to be late to the dancefloor!" I spoke clearly hoping she didn't notice how excited I actually was to have even a hint of a relationship with her. It may be fake but ill take anything when it comes to her.

We arrived at the welcome committee and handed our cards over, aka the psychic paper. We were going as Mr and Mrs (last name). The Doctor was holding my hand this entire time and it's driving me insane. I don't know if she can feel my racing pulse under her fingers but if she can I hope she puts it down to excitement! We walked down the most grandest staircase you would ever lay your eyes on.

First we walked around, greeting everyone as they came up to us or if she dragged me to someone she knew, but not personally. She was cute when she was fangirling over these people. Yaz found it annoying as she just wanted to party but I couldn't help it. The way her eyes shimmer with recognition was more beautiful than any galaxy she could ever take us. Sometimes her eyes flickered with admiration and it did make me have jealousy for just a moment before I remembered, I'm staying with her and they aren't .

As the party moved on we met the host Edward. He looked a lot different than in his paintings. He was around 20 years old now and his blonde hair was below his shoulders. He looked a lot like his father with his muscley build. And he was very charismatic which I did not like as he poured all his charm into the Doctor. Does everyone here know that he's gay or does he see through the Doctors disguise? Either way, it was rubbing me the wrong way. I quickly excused myself with Yaz and walked into the bathroom.

"I did not like him. I do not like this Edward guy. Something about him rubs me completely wrong. He's handsome but something is telling me he knows the Doctor isn't a man."

"I felt the same way. He knows something we don't. Before we go out there again, do you mind if I ask you a question?" Yaz asked. My mind was racing a hundred miles an hour. She knows. The jig is up with Yaz. "How do you feel about her, honestly? One minute you 2 are inseparable, then you distance yourself and now you are a nervous wreck around her! I won't judge but I just want to make sure my theory is correct."

Shit. I guess I really was obvious. Does she know?

"If your theory is about me falling hopelessly in love with the Doctor then you'd be correct. I can't help it. I'm going to tell her how I feel without being completely stupid. I just need a right moment to say it." I spoke with a heavy sigh. Hopefully, Yaz can help create that moment thay I need. She nods her head and opens the door. We walk back to the Doctor and notice Edward has gone to other guests and she was talking to Graham. I looked around and saw Ryan flirting with a pretty lady near the food table. Why am I not surprised?

A few hours had passed and the Doctor seemed bored with standing and talking so I made a plan in my head. I grabbed her hand and pulled her to the dancefloor as the next song came on. I didn't quite know how to dance properly but I knew the basics if it. She has to lead and I simply follow suit. It took a few moments but I got the hang of it with the Doctors help. Soon we were dancing so gracefully underneath the most beautiful candelabra that lit up her face perfectly.

Her hair swayed to our perfect dance ever so gently. Her eyes sparkled with amusement and her lips were in a permanent smile. She even laughed a couple of times. Then as the music slowed down to a pace that was perfect, I grabbed her waist and looked her. My heart was going crazy and my legs were about to buckle but I had rehearsed my lines. I can do this.

"Hey Doc. Its been an amazing time with you but I can't continue this without being honest with you. But everytime I get close, I back down in fear. So I'm going to let you figure it out. Doctora te amo. Entiendo que si no sientes lo mismo y me iré si quieres. (Doctor i love you. i understand if you don't feel the same way and i'll leave if you want.)" I spoke with as much passion and intention as I could. I looked into her eyes and saw her confused and trying to work out what I said. I would find it cute if my heart was beating right out of my chest. "Well, I've had a great time but I'm fucking knackered. I'm calling it night. I'll be heading to the TARDIS if you need me."

"I'll come with ya. I'm knackered as well and we both need each other to undo the corsets and mine is starting to hurt a little bit. How we used to do this for a full day, everyday, is beyond my understanding. As beautiful as we look, I don't think its worth the pain this will bring in the morning." Yaz spoke with a slight mumble as proof of her mental state and finishing with a yawn. I chuckled at her state and walked back to the TARDIS with a small amount of chat along the way.

She is right though. These corsets really do hurt you after a while, I'm glad I chose not to wear heels or else I'll be fucked for in the morning. I would literally scream. I think the Doctor had the right idea in wearing a suit, no pain. I do feel bad for leaving her but I just need some space after basically admitting everything that's been built up within me for too damn long. Maybe I should tell Yaz how it went and maybe she can help determine if the Doctor is happy or not.

We walked back into the wardrobe room and I helped Yaz out of her corset. She immediately sighed in relief. She finished getting herself into comfy clothes and started to untie my ribbon.

"So did you tell her?"

"Sort of. I basically told her everything but in Spanish. I just hope it doesn't change anything, except in a positive way, of course! If she wants me gone, I've told her that it's fine and I understand. She's very socially awkward and as cute as I find it, it may not help me in this situation. Do you have any clues on how she may react once she figures it out?"

Yaz stopped untying my corset for a moment and placed 1 finger upon her chin in thought. Her eyes were almost shut and seemed almost completely black in the light. After what seemed like forever, she took her finger off her chin and beamed a toothy smile. Her eyes sparkled as she remembered something and seemed to gleam slightly menacingly. A smirk replaced her smile soon after.

"There's a few times she's shown affection towards you. And I mean romantic affection. She always chooses to hold your hand over anyone else's if given the choice. She always steps I'm front of you when an enemy threatens to kill us all or hurt us in anyway. When you go wandering around on your own, she's terrified thats she's lost you forever to an enemy we don't even know of!" Yaz starts explaining carefully as if she's worried on how to word it.

"Those are just friendly affec-"

"I wasn't done. I was warming up." Yaz interrupts me as I was about to go into a self deprecating speech on how I'm just a friend to everyone and never a lover. "She always looks to see your face on adventures because she secretly loves your reactions, bad or good. When the Master revealed himself, she looked straight at you for support on how she should react. When she came back from the Kasavin, she ran straight to you and made sure you were ok first before any of us. When we were in the Tsungra medical ship, the first person she asked for was you! Whilst she was unconscious on board the ship, she kept mumbling your name, over and over again. When she saw how gorgeous you looked today, I thought she'd take you right there on the spot! She fucking loves you (y/n)! You're just so unbelievably blind to it all!"

Yaz was almost red with rage. Did she really do all that, for me? The TARDIS mustve read my mind and seemed to hum positively in reply. If everything Yaz said is true then she'll be so happy about it and maybe we can be a thing! But then again, maybe losing so many in a similar position as me will turn her away. Maybe her soul is awry and she's asking why right now.

Once I had gotten changed I went to sleep almost straight away, I suppose all that dancing and social ques having tired me out more than I thought.

I woke up to a soft knock on my door. I rubbed my (e/c) eyes and told them I'd be a few minutes as I've only just woken up. It wasn't until I finished brushing my (h/c) hair that I remembered what happened yesterday. All the panic rushed within me at once and I nearly threw up. I took several deep breaths and opened the door.

"GRAHAM THANK FUCK ITS YOU!" I almost shouted at him. He looked a little bewildered for a moment before he seemed to remember what brought him here in the first place.

"Hello Love, I'm here because Doc wanted to speak with you privately in the library. She says that the TARDIS will guide you to her location. She seemed a little off after you and Yaz left. Did something happen? Is everything ok?" Graham asked cautiously. He must be so confused.

"Sort of. I'll explain more when I get back but what do you mean by "a little off"?"

"Well she seemed lost in all sense of the word. She kept muttering "Te Amo" all the time. She was all over the place aswell. She got me and Ryan back here not long after you guys. Something about not trusting Ryan to not get alcohol poisoning without her around. She hasn't really left the library since if I'm honest. She's been in there for 12 hours. I only know she wants you because she whattsapped me on my phone. Whatever is going on, please sort it out, she's starting to really worry me. She hasn't been the same since that Master guy came around." Graham spoke clearly, albeit confused. I nodded my head and walked in the opposite direction to him and hoped the TARDIS would take me there quicker than normal. I want to treat this like a plaster, rip it off in one go.

Sooner than I realised, I grabbed the all too familiar door knob of the library. I took a deep breath and walked in. A blue line appeared towards the interactive map. I awakened the console and I saw a black screen with a few words on it. It looked like a message with how it was presented.

Hello (y/n)! Don't walk until you calm. Breath deeply and try not to panic. I promise you, all will work out in the end. I see more than you realise and I know my thief better than anyone whoever stepped foot into my being. I know of her main problem about the situation. If she loves you, drink this. It won't hurt, she'll know what it is.

The TARDIS

I should have been surprised by this new knowledge that she could speak to me, in a way, but I've seen so much and I am so tender hooks so I didn't take much notice of it. I quickly sat down and tried to control my breathing. After about 5 or so minutes, I felt calm enough to finally meet up with her and hear what she has to say.

I followed the blue line carefully until I spotted her in a comfy room. She mustve gotten changed at some point as she was wearing her usual rainbow outfit, minus the jacket. She was sat on a deep purple sofa, legs curled into her body. Her shoes were on the carpeted floor underneath her, seemingly forgotten for the moment. There were many books surrounding us from many cultures and spieces. One wall had a cozy wood burning fireplace crackling within the silence that surrounded us.

Her face was scrunched within deep thought. Her eyes sparkling with an emotion that I couldn't quite put my finger on; hope, sorrow or excitement? Her lips had a small smirk gracing them and her teeth had bitten a small part of it. Her hands were holding a book in a way where I couldn't quite see what it was.

I didn't want to disturb her as she looked so ethereal with the warm glow of the fire highlighting her in the perfect way. Unfortunately, it's plaster time and I wanted this sorted sooner rather than later. I took a deep breath took in the picture for memory.

"Hey, Graham said you wanted to talk to me? Is everything ok?" I asked gently and as softly as I could so she was carefully brought out of her little world. I didn't want to scare her. She raised her eyes from her book for a moment and bookmarked the page she was at with a little TARDIS paperclip. She placed the book on the table at the side of her and patted the seat next to her.

As I sat down my nerves were through the roof. She gave nothing away as she stared at me for a minute, as if assessing something about me.

"Why are you so nervous? Calm down. You are right, It is to do with last night. You left pretty abruptly after basically confessing your feelings to me. I was so confused, not just about what you said but about myself and what I wanted to do about you." The Doctor spoke monotonously. Did she mean get rid of me? "I had to first of all, find out what you said, well done on learning a new language by the way, one even I'm not fluent at. I'm guessing the old girl had something to do with that idea. Not that, you aren't smart enough but you don't know what languages I do or don't know."

The Tardis seemed to chuckled at the accusation and I simply nodded my head. "I wanted to buy myself time and to impress you."

"You impressed me a long time ago Miss (l/n). That is just a cherry on top. After I figured out what you said, no thanks to my old friend here, I went through a lot of thinking. I've not been in many relationships and you know my history regarding the ones I have been in. You know, River and Missy? And I have such a bad past with it ending in nothing but tears for me. I always lose those I care for deeply." She spoke with tears spilling from her gorgeous eyes. I grabbed her face gently and wiped away the stray tears that managed to escape their home.

"That was when you were a man. You're a woman now, everything is so different. Relationships can be heartbreaking. I know what you're main problem is and the TARDIS has a solution to that. I just need you to tell me the truth. How do you feel about me? Do you want me to stay or not?" I stated holding the small shot glassed amount of liquid in my hand. The liquid was golden and sparkled slightly in the light. There were specks of orange and silver within it and it was as hot as a nice cup of (hot drink). Her eyes sparkled with hope and shock. Her lips were smiling wide. And she seemed to giggle at the sight of it. She held it for a moment as if examining it like a rare artefact, maybe it was. Either way, I trust her judgement and if she's happy about it, then so am I. Once she had analysed the drink, she practically leapt into my arms and pushed me down on my back. She smelled of custard creams and the TARDIS which was odd but completely her and I couldn't imagine her smelling any other way.

"That does solve our problem! What she has just given you is the rarest liquid in the universe seeing as only one thing in the entirety of space can produce it. That drink is known as the nectar of the chosen ones. It's rare as the race that used to make them has practically gone extinct. There's only 3 left in the known universe and you're living in one. That drink is the blood of the TARDIS. It grants you immortality if you drink it. It is said to resemble your favourite beverage no matter who you are. However, it only lasts 100 years and you must drink it every century or else your body clock will kick in and you will age and be as mortal as you are now." She speaks with a warning as we sit up holding holds.

"I have no problem with that. I would sacrifice everything if it meant I got to call you mine. Just please tell me and I'll drink it." I told her with adoration in my eyes.

She held me close and planted a soft and gentle kiss to my lips. It was short but it sent more fireworks than you can imagine through my body. I knew I had found her. She grabbed my waist and whispered next to my ear:

"Te Amo"

[theravencawsatmidnight]

Part Two

W! Drinking, stabby stab, attempted Non C but it does not happen .

Touya,21.The drunk Future King whose only interest is whores and brothels

Natsuo.18. The Middle Sibling who is just like his father

Shoto.16.the youngest and most reserved, has no interest in marriage but would like a companion

Reader is a rebellious princess in a falling Kingdom and is sent off to live with the Todorokis in hopes of marriage to save her family. But Reader has other plans in mind.

tags/ @no-post-ghost @yoonbbyboy @pinkjellychan @squeaky-ducky​

You wasted no time ditching the family for the courtyard after dashing out of the carriage and right past Enji, you were over Natsuo and his creepy behaviour and over this whole arrangement.  With a groan you stopped next to some trees and slipped between two large oaks to conceal yourself for a minute. You sat down hugging your knees panting slightly. It was a pretty courtyard, full of flowers funny enough since only men seemed to lived in this rotten castle. 

 So what now? The King would not be happy at your actions but if he tried to hurt you it would hinder his plans for his precious sons. So you were safe for the most part. The oldest, Touya did not really seem interested in courting you anyway, to focused on his drinking and keeping his brother in line.  

 The thought of Natsuo made you gag and cough a bit, what an awful person and he's gonna be King eventually? Maybe you could cut his balls off to save whoever marries him.  Sighing you relaxed against the tree letting one leg down admiring the clouds that rolled on by, the sky seemed more blue here than at your Kingdom too you, weird. 

 “Uhm…?” said a voice, it sounded skittish.

You rolled your head to the left to see a boy about Shotos age looking at you, he had royal clothes on and had crazy green hair. You tilted your head at this boy and brought your legs down so you were criss cross. 

 “Yes?” you asked curiously

“Is Shoto around?”

“I think so , the main entrance.”

“O-oh uh, okay, i can wait here then. May i sit by you? My names Izuku of Midoriya Manor”

“Sure kid,” you scooted over a bit for him to join you.”Y/n of Alastar”

“Oh thanks !” he sat by you but seemed to be looking around

“Something on your mind?”

“Oh uh n-no, im just waiting for Shoto, his father does not a-aprove of me so we have too …” he trailed off rubbing the back of his head.

“Hm? Well your safe with me kid, i doubt that big ape approves of me too.”

“Are you to be wed?”

“Sadly.”

“Uh- uhm!,” he rubbed his hands together. “You seem really cool and can protect yourself..” he told you, pointing to the knife on your person. “Just watch out for the middle sibling okay?”

You got up patting your butt free of dirt and Shoto squeezed through the trees to see you and Izuku.  Shoto hugged Izuku and the two sighed with relief to see each other. 

“y/n. Touya wants to see you to show you around, hes at the stables, around the corner from here”

“Okay Shoto, izuku was waiting for you, i never saw him though.”

 The youngest gave you a gentle smile and a nod as thanks. 

**

Squeezing back through the trees you strolled around the courtyard admiring the flowers before meeting up with Touya. No sign of the King or his creepy son , the courtyard had a large apple tree in its center but it only had one apple on it and it looked to be rotten which was weird. It's definitely apple season. Hm.  thinking nothing of it you made your way around the large castle to see the stables and Touya petting a large black and white mare of the face in long strokes.

“Whos a pretty girl ? you you you” he cooed at the sleepy horse.

“Dont take you for a animal lover” you joked walking up to him. “Wheres idiot 1 and 2?”

“My father is giving Natsuo a talking to so im trusted to show you around” he pointed to the castle “thats the castle” he pointed to a stray window at the top “thats your room”

“A five star tour i see”  you pet the horse admiring its coat. “ lovely colors”

“Reminds me of my life from before” he told you while taking out his flask to drink.

“Hm? Whats that mean? And whos this Izuku that was sneaking around?”

Touya sat down in a empty stable drinking more before answering you. “Thats Shotos boyfriend, dont tell anyone or i will kill you myself. Im the only one who knows”

“i wouldn't do that Touya, he said Enji does not approve of him?”

“Yep” he fell into some hay drinking more. “They want to leave when they turn 18 and have a farm, im helping make it happen”

You sat down by the hay watching this man drink his life away , he had not one care in the world, unless it was Shoto related. 

*

Some time passed and you and Touya were sharing the flask now.

“So .. what did you mean by your life from before?”

“Mmmm… i was going to be a father, at least.. Thats what i was told.” he sat up pushing his hair outta his face. She was a brothel worker and i had gotten her pregnant.” 

 You listened to him taking note of the hint of sadness in his voice.

“I was excited, i wanted to be a dad.” he told you looking over at the horse.”she had black and white hair, i called her my little… berry.., i did everything right, i told her she could live with me and be a Princess and we could be happy. But i also told her i did not want her working the brothel anymore obviously,” 

  He brought his knees up laying his elbows over them looking at the ground between his legs. “She told me she would stop but something felt weird so i checked on her and she was still working it. I confronted her and she said she needed the money for the baby and i told her i have more money than i know what to do with, the months went on and she eventually stopped, her bump was small and everytime i felt it , i dont know. It felt off. One day i woke up early and looked over at her, she was asleep on her stomach and .. she was too far align to be doing that.” he looked up at you, his eyes slightly red. “ she lied to me, for my status, my wealth, my name, it was some kind of material to seem like a bump, she tried to tell me it was my fault.”

“Touya…”

He ignored you. “What she said stung more than the faked pregnancy. I had to know, for sure. So i contacted a witch and she performed some kind of spell on me and ..and..”

You moved closer, placing your hand on his arm , he took a big drink and lowered his head again. “ i cant… have children… “

You pulled this man into your arms trying your best to comfort him. He just cursed up a storm and told you how excited he was, how he was going to move away as soon as Shoto left with izuku and start an even bigger family with the woman he loved. Touya wanted his own Kingdom but in a quiet place no one knew about where he could be happy.

“Everyday… i curse Natsuo, he does not deserve to have children” he pushed himself off you to wipe his eyes. “ no one knows this about me y/n”

“Touya its safe with me”

“I have no interest in getting married anymore, i dont care.”

“Thats perfectly okay Touya”

He sniffled not looking at you. “Thank you for listening, you should get settled into your room, top floor last door on the left.”

“Youll be okay?” you asked, getting up

“Nope” he got up walking past you “but thats just how i like it” he waved not looking back as he headed into town.

*

The castle was full of expensive things: statues, paintings, rugs, swords. Anything you could think of. Big wide open rooms with ceilings higher than you had ever seen. It smelled like the kitchen was to your right and the main rooms looked to be up the rug covered stairs. You could hear Enji yelling at Natsuo when you got to the top , you snuck by peeking in every room you passed, looked like bedrooms. You heard a door slam and looked over your shoulder to see Natsuo brooding outside the door talking to himself. 

   You slipped into your room and scanned around the giant room, pretty bed, too girly honestly. A wooden vanity with glass in it and a couple windows. You checked outside them all , dammit. Nothing to really grab on to for a quick escape? You thought on it inspecting more and suddenly you were grabbed from behind and flipped over and pressed against the window, your hair blowing in the wind. 

 Natsuo was pinning you down looking very angry with you. You stuck your chin out at him reaching down for you knife.

“Yes ? your highness?” “I should … should… “ he pressed harder into your shoulders. “You . so mean, you made a fool of .. of me? In front of my father? I ?” his gaze dropped and he grabbed the knife tossing it out the window . his voice got louder and he shook you. “ they tell me i should kill you !! but!! My voices arent always!!.. Correct so …”

“Let me go !! get these gross hands off me !” you fought his grip and he threw you onto the bed pinning you from behind. “ why are you so … SO SO difficult? Im a future KING im in CHARGE not YOU” he reached back fussing with his belt and you got very still.

“Is that why your upset hm? I hurt your ego?” you asked looking back”pitty” with a quick snap of your arm a second knife shot out of your left sleeve and stabbed Natsuo in the arm. He cried out falling back and you pushed him out fo your room. “Sorry, no middle siblings allowed” you slammed the door locking it and pushing some heavy furniture in front of the door for the time being. 

 You could hear Natsuo crying in pain in the hall but you did not really care, it sounded like he was walking away and you finally… finally..alone. You sunk down to your knees” what the fuck man…”

*

[thewebcomicsreview]

Oh shit, Homestuck 2 is back! Looks like the art team problems are getting worse, but maybe the writing’s good? Quick, recap of the story so far, since there was a hiatus

Previously, on Homestuck 2:  DIRK: I’m evil now and we’re on a new planet where we shall create our own lifeforms and rule them as gods ROSE: I’m making memes and vaginas DIRK: NOOOOO ROSE: Jade got me preganté and we named our kid Yiffy and I kept it a secret from everyone this whole time, including my wife but inexplicably not the dictator I’ve trying to overthrow, who kidnapped her JOHN: NOOOOO CALLIOPE: I’m in ur bod drinking ur juice JADE: NOOOOO CALLIOPE: Oh, like you’re not used to having weird people inside you, skank JADE: Wow, rude, I’m kicking you out of my brain for that  CALLIOPE: NOOOOO JOHN: Man, I love how my son tells me everything and keeps no secrets  KARKAT: John! Vriska’s alive and she murdered the clown pope and your son is hiding her because he and his friends are wanted for treason  JOHN: ...... KARKAT: You’re supposed to say “NOOOOO” John: Why would I? That fucking rules!  We now return to Homestuck 2

Yay, we’re finally seeing Davebot, Aradia, and Calliope. Fun fact: In a comic with like ten billion retcons and timeline splits, this Aradia is still the definitive “real” Aradia in a way no other character can claim to be (except Sollux), which is a fun endgame for a character who was introduced has having hundreds of thousands of duplicates.  I can not wait to see how the HS2 writers ruin her. (Also, where did they get a rocket ship?)

Also it it me, or is there something a little off about this art?

DAVEBOT: beep boop ARADIA: i have told you several times that i was a robot before and i know for a fact you dont have to say beep boop DAVEBOT: hm that sounds fake does not compute ARADIA: david DAVEBOT: mom

“David”? 

This is the first indication in the entire series that any of these kids’ names are short for anything, something Hussie explicitly said wasn’t the case but which was never actually addressed in the comic proper so I guess it’s not a plot hole. Still, it feels a little....wrong? 

ARADIA: well we are both an infinite number of years old living countless lifetimes at once but thats no reason to waste any of our...

Wait, what?! Aradia is Ultimate, too? When did that happen?! Why does she not need a robot body? 

DAVEBOT: time DAVEBOT: say time ARADIA: ... DAVEBOT: time then make a weird face

There’s a fine line between “callback” and straight up recycling a joke. 

ARADIA: would you say you are hung up on leaving your wife and friends behind DAVEBOT: are you ARADIA: am i hung up about leaving your wife and friends behind ARADIA: i do not think that i am no DAVEBOT: arent you even a little guilty about ditching your boyfriend ARADIA: what ARADIA: oh fuck

I do like the implication here that Aradia flat forgot about Sollux. Poor dude can’t catch a break. .

Ooh, an [S]. An extremely basic one, but still. Also, from this scene in the epilogues:

The distant sounds of war travel above the canopy of a forest. The artillery fire fades to a series of muted knocks and thuds as the sound waves cross beyond a thinning patch of the forest and arrive in a clearing of grass and shrubbery. Above, the sky is dramatic, colorful, menacing. The way it looks when a storm is coming. The clouds are wild, whipped into a sort of spatial frenzy, as if they know what’s imminent is no earthly phenomena. Aradia stands in the field, her mouth gaping wide. But not at the sky.

Probably the starkest example of how the epilogues presented Earth C has falling about and doomed and stormy and scary like the system crash in Reboot and Homestuck 2 has it all sunny and bright. I kind of wish HS2 kept the semi-apocalyptic feel of the epilogues, even if it made Aradia’s spurious decision to leave Sollux behind way more dickish. 

Oh hey, God’s back, and back in the body of the OG pre-Retcon Jade Harley. There’s something very Shoujo about this posing.

DAVEBOT: thanks JADE: They sit in each other's presence, the silence between them as meaningful as any words they could exchange. DAVEBOT: its always really cool to hear how meaningful my silences are DAVEBOT: especially while DAVEBOT: CALCULATING DAVEBOT: CALCULATING DAVEBOT: especially while i am attempting to experience them

I think Calliope, and possibly Aradia, is shipping Dave/Aradia right now, which is a pairing that has some comedic appeal were it not for Dave’s gayness.

ARADIA: i think she looks quite lovely covered in the viscera of the all-powerful enemy she consumed ARADIA: floating lifelessly in our periphery

We just established that this is months after they left Candyland. Has Jade’s body been covered in the blood and guts of Lord English this entire time? Take a goddamn shower, Jesus. 

Oh, there we go. Much better. Also, the one thing I heard about this upd8 was all the discussion of jorts, and then Dave references jorts, but no one is actually wearing them, unless Aradia’s got a pair on under her cultist robes? (Also, is Calliope’s Jade body healed from the shard of reality that killed it originally, or is there just a huge hole under her shirt)?

JADE: As a point of curiosity- ARADIA: oh shit!!!!

The dead Cherub possessing the body of an equally deceased Goddess of Space pauses at the interruption. Were she to voice her opinion, it would be that --actually-- it is not unusual for those whose primary concern is The Grander Scheme to have a passing curiosity about the insignificant. So when one really thinks about it, any annoyance with the attendant’s small mindedness is both understandable and warranted.

ARADIA: :(

Given how much time was spent on how Terezi can sense Dirk’s narration, I like how Calliope’s narration is literally just her talking out loud and everyone can clearly hear it and just assumes it’s like a troll quirk.

ARADIA: in this form our bodies stop aging once we reach maturity i think ARADIA: the god tier keeps our physical form locked in a state of undying ARADIA: even in death the bodies do not decay ARADIA: only lay dormant DAVEBOT: no thats boring DAVEBOT: like how long have you been alive JADE: yes, that one.

One of the things I don’t fully get about Calliope is why there’s stuff like this she doesn’t know. Another thing I don’t get: How come John and Jake are visibly middle-aged? They’re gods, too. 

ARADIA: you were there too i threw your air conditioner into the sun DAVEBOT: wow thats fucked up DAVEBOT: thats not where that goes at all JADE: these events are not-canonical. ARADIA: rude

I believe this is a reference to Pesterquest?

DAVEBOT: is that the trope of being hundreds of years old but looking young forever patently sucks ass DAVEBOT: a plot device an asshole would write ARADIA: :( JADE: that is not what i am trying to say at all. DAVEBOT: hmm wow yeah thatd really be a sort of pot/kettle situation i guess DAVEBOT: i cant believe im the only woke one here DAVEBOT: its hard being such a visionary AND such a fine metallic specimen

What the fuck is David even talking about? What? 

DAVEBOT: but can she see why kids love the sweet cinnamon taste of cinnamon toast crunch JADE: i do not know, or care, what that means. ARADIA: neither do i :)

I like the “Best Narrator” mug, and with this sudden headache to interrupt the laughter comes the end of the chapter and presumably a lead in to the next one when we’ll learn what’s blowing Calliope’s mind 

[sunshinerotting]

Sometimes I remember that the last three times my mom’s acquaintance and her kids who I went to elementary school with showed up at our house unannounced I was in three different depression jags and hadn’t showered in however many days so they just think I’m fuckin smelly probably because at all three of those times I was fuckin smelly but like. maybe call first so I can pretend to be a functional human being perhaps??? It is not difficult. Or Just Don’t Come Over. That’s even less difficult. I’m embarrassed

[jeffhane]

dynasty live watching: an incoherent post so that i’m not spoiling people on the twitter tl (i doubt any of this will be chronological or coherent enough to actually contain spoilers but better safe than sorry!)

oh my god the “previously on” - i forgot abt fallon and evan....

Theyre at a FUNERAL??? this was actually predicted but oh my god. if its steven i am going to be so mad. what an unfitting end to the- WAIT WHAT SIX MONTHS? what was that font;;;;:; whes sueiwjwk

copper arch🥵🥵🥵

this is cute. this is cute i like faloon pretty women so true

BYE I FORGOT ABT THIS VASE

fallon is genuinely such a bad person this is so bizarre,,,, i think she needs to calm down about oiterally everything ever

“This wedding is our chance to break the cycle of craziness” babe ur literally the one making the cycle of craziness

w. was that an ikmenn of liam getting his head off

JEFF MY BELOVED HE LOOKS STUNNING IN THAT OUTFIT. WHYS ALEXIS HERW “POWER COUPLE” YOU WERID MANIPULATIVE PERSON GET AWAY FROM HIM LOL

alexis is up to no good. bad bad jpeg. why do they write her dialogue like this

adam is acted so well lmao he’s the most unhinged person to ever exist *screams*

ohhh dominique, i don’t remember much abt her 😭😭😭 this woman she’s with is beautiful

ITS LAGGING????? i cannot Believe tjis

~rebrand~ ok girlboss!!!!!!!!! can we ship this businesswoman i dont recall her name with fallon???? id like that i think

too many plotlines have happened in too many minutes, i’m already forgettint things that have happened... isn’t blake supposed to be in prisoj? no? Ok: sure

adam is constantly doing this expression that is like 👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁 HI SAM HI SAM HI SAM BEAUTIFUL MAN I LOVE HIM WHOS THIS MAN

raf is so stunning ughhhh i’m loving the costumes this season, everyone looks great! is this man a sam love interest? nervous? that is kinda cute. i miss stevej though. sadness. so many emotions

UHHHH hi alexis sure ig ur here

~OMENS~ babe that’s a tad dramatic don’t you think?????????? “Ignore the lore at your own peril” alright

WHOS THAT? WHOS THAT? OH HER OK

bye everything is going wrong for this......:..:::... *rubs hands together evilly* that will certainly be entertaining

credit scene!!! such a beautiful cast! where’s anders, oh how i miss him... i miss monica too wasn’t she supposed to be BACK🤔🤔🤔🧐🧐🤨🤨

its a commercial break... havent had to watch the show with these for so long😑😑😑. getting american ads is so funny bc the vast majority of them are Not at all relevant... at all

BACK TO DYNASTY!!!!!! was that a slinky? huh? oh ok that’s why the marriage is happening at the manor. #whenyouonlyhaveoneset oh hi ok monica so shes not going to be here?????😑😔😳

WHY IS SHE GETTING A CAR I FEEL LIKE THATS FORESHAWDOIWIJG FOR UMMMMM.... NOT GOOD THINGS ..... ITS LAGGING AGAIN 🤨

blake having dinner... ok hi cristal,,,,; is the priest subplot back? that was a weird one

adam???? how on earth does adam work his way into everything? NEXT GUEST? HUH? are you cheating on your wife? HI CULHANE! HI!

“straight people are exhausting” i mean yes, objectively, absolutely, but culhane is #notstraight .... idk how i feel about sam and this man. also what? huh? staying here? ok cool ig

OHHHHH he got married i see i see

“Haven’t you milked the carrington cow already” but....... she is literally the person who deserves the stuff..... k......... i don’t like dominique but she was given the short end of the stick also blake stop manipulating people just bc they tell u the truth😶😶😶😶😶😶😶

frustrated that we haven’t seen fallon in any non-wedding related stuff yet i always liked her more ~dramatic~ plots . like she’s a sweetheart but i do want her to evolve beyond thsi. idk if that makes sense. ok bye

“A relative’s happy marriage” uh???? we live in a society😔📈

who is father lynch<3333 oh he is in the hospital that’s not great oh adam upset that’s new /s

y is kirby dressed like an elf. god bless.

ughhhh i just think adam is not good for kirby. he’s not good in general. so true . what is he up to. ads again hhhhhhhhhh💯

omg we are back!!!!! blake wear the suit!! hi liz!!! i’ve seen pictures of this outfit, it looks nice. “I really want things to work out with liam” now that would be great but you’re in a soap opera so the chances of that are .... I DONT EVEN ONOW IF U CAN WEATHER ANYTHING W CRISTAL...)))))!$$ NOT NECESSARILY THE BEET CHOICE????

~technically it wasn’t cancelled~ alright love i feel as though you’re not telling the full truth here. ok his name is ryan . we know that now . cool . this relationship is awkward but it could be sweet

what the Fuck is dominique talking about this is so creepy😭😭😭 please do not market lingerie to ur niece 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 why does no one in this show know how to be polite

“You want me to stake my personal assets” i’m sure this would be meaningful if i knew anything about finance????? WAIT WAIT WIAT WAIT WAIT DHE REHEARING THE SAM DONS G THE SONG ALEXIS DONT INTERRUPT HER SINGING THE SONG🧐😔😔😔🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🥰🥰🤬😤😤😤😤😤😤

~duplicitous sham~ that’s quite a juicy phrase ms fallon. alexis i dislike your marriage. and you in fact. yes x . “We were just like any other newlyweds” except the newlywed factor........:

anders. oh my god i adore him so much. he reminds me of my grandfather . YES adam is dangerous. anders i love you so much. be my grandfather figure. top 10 cool old dudes of all time.

liz is so beautiful how am i suppised to “Focus” on the “storyline” kirby just went 🥰🥰 also hi culhane ily babe

“My father’s convinced adam is pure evil” you see, that is......... trueeeee...........:.::: im sorry culhane ily love

this dialogue unfortunately does not flow all that well LOL . people dont think up things like this on the fly “my love is like that boutineer” sir i guarantee that metaphors r not going to save ur relationship... HI sam. so true. hi ily. samhane? culsam? 😳😳

DONT STEAL ANDERS SPOT OH HI JEFF YOU LOOK STUNNING.......... BEAUTIFUL BOY ....... HI!!!! ~you are the only family you’ve ever needed~ shit none of this wouldve happened if the Carringtons werent so greedy ij the first place

~true love has many faces~ how many anti liam omens can they sneak in into the episode 😭😭😭😭 hi laura whats up

the poor waiters at this establishment...... why does laura look like a rlly young version of my grandma........: huh.... wont think abt it /... alexis bad mom.jpeg

“I don’t want to miss my sons special day” ok bye i don’t #care she’s kind of rude

fallon trying to avoid future drama is confusing to me as that used to be her ENTIRE THING? HUH??? everyones talking to their moms today what the heck do that many people talk to their moms???

jeff hiiiii <333 that maroon suit!!!!! love!!!!!

Dont hurt anders you strange little evil man!!!!!!!!!!! (Adam, for reference)

fallon likes to ~e n u n c i a t e~ her dialogue. Drama Teachers Love Her

FIRBY SCENE! WELL THEY R TALKINF! UWU ! UWU ! smiles:) smiiiiiles:) the height difference i cannot do this😑😊😊😊🕯🕯🕯 BYE

BueirHWIIDWJDIWIFJWIFJWJJFWJFJWJDJWJDJWIFJWJFJWJDKWJDJWDJJWHDWHDHWHEHWHDHWJDJWJRJWJEJWJDJQUEUWJEJWJEJW CRIES SOBS SCREAMS THIS OS SO FUCKING FUNNY

Kirby you dumbass😭😭😭😭😭 ALEXIS WUDIWNDJW JEFF CAN YOU NOT HEF FCANKREMTIWN WHY IS THIS DIALOGUE IM SCREAMIGNRJFJD

kirby babe you are the kist imorjri WHQT? HUH? when all the characters have the maturity of a 13 yr old <33333 DID THE SHOW JUST END?????? OK.... DAMN.... they were really 2 minutes away from the end and remembered that things are supposed to happen in tv show episodes.... i cannot tell whether it os over actually?????? huh??? going to keep watching because it would be so embarrassing if i missed a few minutes oh yeah theres more

IM SORRY WHYBARE THESE PEOPLE SO STUPID. every single one of them. ih my god l. ohhhh my god . “I never meant to hurt you” you cheated on him. both of them are bad people. 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 kirby darling what were you thinking . this dress on kirby is STUNNING ugh, she’s so charming . adam Shut the fuck up. He hasn’t said anything but shut the fuck up. OH MY GOD ADAM SHUT THE FUCK UP. OH MY GOD I HATE ADAM SO MUXH. OH MY GOD HOW IS HE THE WORST PERSON TO EVER LIVE 😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶😶 HES SO EVIL

“I didn’t want to tell you because i didnt want you to think of me as a monster” why did you do that stuff then bro . Kirby you SHOULDNT trust someone after they say that? How naive? Huh ?

omg hello jeffs grandma!!!!! she deserves better than every shitshow in this family... god🤨 dominique being a good person? i like to see that. she seems so genuine. ok this is nice . wait... SAFE? 😳😳😳😳 💴 💵 #money i miss monica

why do they never have sufficient lifhting in WAIT..... HER?????? #dumbofass HI JEFF <33333333 HI you can scam and whatever ur allowed to i support u

ooohhhh GORGEOUS fallon outfit

“Such a fail” IS THIS 2012 . CRINE HEIDJWJFIWNDWJDNWKFJW ENJDJSDJWJNDJWJD they keep saying folklore and im thinking its some sort of reference to the album and i get confused. wheres scheming fallon. need scheming fallon. do a scheme. do it

“We are that lucky couple” press x to doubt .... wait who is this🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 this seems cincerning im cocnentwd why did it zoom in on this random man