#the Lucien to my Tamlin (except we’re both straight)

[positivelyruined]

happy birthday, mita!

Thank you for continuing to inspiring me to write on days I’ve given up, making me laugh with your crackship kerffufles, and genuinely just being a good friend and great beta reader over the last several months. I appreciate you and I hope someday you’ll find your way into my author’s notes at the end of my real books. TY for being you — never stop. @lorcandidlucienwill

[oohnoniall]

A Court of Fire and Ice {Tamlin x OC} - Chapter 5

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Warnings: Tamlin is being portrayed as he is in ACOMAF and ACOWAR. Trigger warnings include fantasy violence, misogyny, swearing, and Tamlin being an uncontrollable rage beast (no domestic violence !!)

note; i’m so sorry this is late !! june is one of the worst months mentally for me and i didn’t even realize it was saturday lmao. but this is a fluff chapter so hope that makes up for it !!

Things were going about as well as they ever did in the Spring Court. Lyriel had not stopped training with his guards and sentries. She had been out there every single morning for the past two weeks. She was better than he had expected her to be. Perhaps her collection of blades was not just for show.

        Feyre was still suspicious of the woman but had said nothing more. It was in her eyes whenever Lyriel slipped silently into a room. Tamlin had told her again and again that it was nothing to be concerned about. Yet, Feyre seemed more withdrawn than usual.         

        He had assumed it was just nerves because of the wedding. He had tried to take away anything that would stress her. He had tried to do what he could to protect her. She had done so much for him. It was his turn to be the provider, the protector. He just hoped he was doing the right thing.

        "We're expecting a large turnout," Ianthe said excitedly over dinner that night. 

        He was the only one who noticed Lyriel's grip tightened on her fork. 

        "I should expect so. This will be the first thing we've had to truly celebrate in a very long time," he sipped his wine, his gaze falling to Feyre. She shifted in her seat once, her fork laid beside her plate.

        He knew that something was wrong with her. Something that he needed to figure out but ... He was afraid. Afraid that she would say she no longer wanted this. She no longer wanted him.

        What if she didn't love him anymore? What if she had only thought that she had loved him? Why hadn't she told him any of this? He felt as though he was trapped behind an iron door, its frame built in the ash wood that kept his magic from being of any use. Yet, he said nothing. He just kept building walls around the two of them. Around her. He would protect her against anything in this world.

        Even if it killed him, he would do anything in the world for Feyre.

        "The wedding is going to be the talk of the Spring Court for centuries. Feyre has made exceptional choices." The way she said it made Tamlin wonder if Feyre really had made any of the decisions. He liked to think that she had. That she'd been inspired by anything.

        He didn't like seeing her so at odds. He didn't like watching her lose herself to the demons that plagued her mind. But he didn't know how to help. He was trying to make things seem normal but he thought it was making things worse. It was too confusing. Too much and not enough.

        "I would expect nothing less," he could feel his claws trying to poke out. His excitement radiating through him and bringing the beast forward. He shoved it down. He would not be reminded of that side of him. Not now.

        Tamlin looked at Feyre, watching her as she stared down at her plate. Did she want this wedding? Did he?

        The thought almost made him choke. Of course, he wanted to marry Feyre. It was all that he had ever wanted. She meant more to him than anyone else ever would. There was nothing to suggest wanting anyone else. If one ignored the bond that was between himself and Lyriel. He needed to send her away. It was getting too challenging to separate the bond from his actual thoughts, his desires.

        But seeing her go was one of the few things he found himself dreading. They had met on accident. What if they never crossed paths again?

        She would be out there, somewhere. She'd fall in love with someone else. She'd be happy without him. But did he want that? Did he want Lyriel to be on her own? No. He didn't. He hated the fact that he didn't. Feyre was supposed to be the one he cared for. Lyriel was just supposed to be a means to an end. A stronger connection to the Winter Court. That was all she could ever be to him. 

        He just wondered if that was for the best. Or just selfish bargaining with fate. Surely the Mother wouldn't continue testing him this way.

        Fate seemed to hate Tamlin Rosehall. He'd nearly killed his mother during his birth, had been the third brother and yet somehow managed to become the High Lord, then he'd been cursed for not wanting to be a tyrant's plaything. He truly did not see how fate was kind to anyone. Maybe he had just drawn the short stick in life. Or the Mother had been testing him. Growth from adversity and all of that bullshit that the priestesses always talked about.

        "If My Lord will excuse me," Lyriel's smooth voice pulled him from his thoughts. He could see a tense look behind her eye, her body poised to strike. He wondered who her target would have been. "But I must finish a letter for my general. Thank you for dinner."

        She did not wait for him to excuse her, nor did she bow to him. Lyriel slipped from the room as silent as a wraith. Ianthe's eyes tracking her every movement.

        Feyre did not wait long to excuse herself. Tamlin wanted to ask her to stay, but knew that he would be pushing it. Let her have the time she needed. He was trying to do what he thought was best. But none of it seemed to actually help her.

        The dining room felt smaller when it was just himself, Ianthe, and Lucien. For some reason, there was a tension in the room. He knew that Ianthe had eyes for Lucien but he did not think it was that important. He should have. Just based on how Lucien seemed to be avoiding looking at her.

        "That Lie woman ... She's imprudent," Ianthe stated as she picked up her glass of wine. She took a sip, a droplet of red dripping from her lips, before speaking once more. "She doesn't show you or our court the necessary respect. Surely Kallias wouldn't approve of her behavior."

        "What are you suggesting?" Tamlin questioned, ignoring the pounding in his chest. He knew Ianthe was smart. He knew she could put together secrets, but he didn't think she'd ever figure this out. Cauldron help him if she did.

        He knew that Ianthe would never turn against him. But what would she do if she found out he wasn't following the path the Mother had set for him? Surely she would be livid.

        "Punishment of course," Ianthe smiled at him. "Nothing too severe of course, that isn't our decision. But at least banishment. A year or two at least. Maybe longer if you feel like it's wise."

        "We can't risk Kallias seeing it as an insult," Lucien spoke up, a scowl marring the handsome features of his face.

        "We'll send word explaining the situation," Ianthe seemed almost giddy. "We explain that we won't take this as an affront to the Spring Court or to the Cursebreaker. Kallias will know that we still want friendship."

        Tamlin said nothing, staring at the plate that sat in front of him. Was this what they needed to do? Would he sell out Lyriel just to keep Ianthe happy? He didn't know what to do. If he kept Lyriel around, it could mean being found out. But sending her away? It felt like he was ripping something out of himself.

        "Lucien," he said after a moment. "What do you think?"

        "Lyriel has gone against a majority of what you've said," he had always been truthful with Tamlin. It was one of the reasons why he had become a brother to the man. "But I don't think she does it to insult you. She's a soldier, she isn't one for court life. It's obvious in the way she holds herself. Punishing her for that might just show the other Courts that the suspicions they hold of us are accurate."

        "Yes," Ianthe sighed as she looked at Lucien, daggers in her eyes. "But even a soldier should know to respect her betters. She has shown Tamlin nothing but disrespect. Not to mention the other members of this court."

        What had Lyriel said to Ianthe? It had to have been something intense. Or it could have just been some simple snide remark. He did not know Lyriel well, but he knew that she had a tongue on her. One that he sometimes debated asking her to still. If he didn't know she would verbally attack him for it, he would have.

        Tamlin gently ran his fingertips up and down the wooden arms of his chair. Small designs being drawn by the forefingers, followed by straight lines with his pinkies. What was he to do about Lyriel Chaeren? The question had haunted him since the moment they met. She was rash, she didn't have any notion of respect. Although he was certain that was because they were mates. Not because she was actually disrespectful.

        An ocean of unease rolled in his gut as he thought over his options. Keep Lyriel there. Keep her trapped in a home that she didn't want, make her watch as he loved another woman without ever giving her a second thought. Or let her go. Banish her from the Spring Court and never see her again. Let her fade into the background, a distant heart-breaking memory. He could let her be the woman she wanted to be. He could let her find someone who would love that frozen fire that burned inside of her. 

        The thought of her loving anyone else killed him.

        The thought of her suffering in silence killed him.

        Tamlin knew that he could not make a decision that did not hurt either of them. He couldn't fathom letting Feyre go. He couldn't think about running his Court into the ground. Although it seemed that was all he was good at doing. How would the Spring Court handle any of this? He didn't know. He didn't possibly know how they could weather a broken High Lord.

        So far they had managed. But managing was not thriving. He wanted the Spring Court to thrive.

        Feyre was the only way they would ever thrive.

        "The wedding is in two weeks," he spoke slowly, the image of the in-control High Lord that they all wanted. "After the wedding, I'll take care of Lyriel. Banishment ... It'll send a message that the Spring Court is not to be ridiculed." It would also tell her that he couldn't pick her. No matter what they both felt.

        Thunder boomed, the sound reverberating around the manor. To Tamlin, it had always been a lullaby. One that he had grown up knowing all the words to. The thunderstorms in the Spring Court had always seemed to sing to him. The chaos that raged outside matched the chaos that raged inside of him. It felt as though the Mother was finally seeing him. Seeing him and giving him some sort of message.

        It had never been one he had worked out.

        Tamlin had not gone to Feyre's room that night. He had not wanted to after coming to the decision of what to do with Lyriel. He hadn't wanted to see anyone. Holing himself up in his personal bedroom with paperwork and correspondence was a good excuse. As good as any, really.

        It seemed that all he did anymore was listen to lord's bitch about his taxes and tell the other High Lords how the Spring Court was fairing. He didn't know if he could handle it for much longer. But he did. Because he had to. If he didn't, it would all fall on Lucien's shoulders. What use was he then? 

        He felt something through the bond. A strong sense of urgency, a sense of fear. The beast inside of him wanted to run to her, to wrap his arms around her and protect her. But he didn't. He just stayed as he was, gripping his pen so tightly it felt as though it would burst.

        He did not have to come to her.

        The door opened and she slipped inside. Trembling as though she had been soaked to the bone. She didn't appear wet. She appeared fine. Just ... Terrified.

        "What are you doing here?" He growled out, fighting with the urge to protect her and the want to protect his own space. He didn't know what the balance was. Didn't know who to be for her. For anyone really.

        "I'll leave as soon as it's over," she snapped at him.

        The bite in her voice made him recoil. Maybe she was disrespectful as Ianthe had said. Or maybe she was just a girl who was scared. Considering how he hadn't seen her anything other than collected and arrogant, he doubted she knew what fear was. 

        "Lyriel," he sounded tired as he looked at her. "That doesn't explain why you're here."

        She didn't answer, her back turned to him as she sat on the edge of his bed. It should have made him mad to see her sitting there. But it didn't. He was too tired to be mad. Too curious as to why she had shown up in his room. 

        "Lyriel," the way her name left his lips was softer than it had ever been. He couldn't hide his concern for her. Even if he wished to.

        "I ... I just," Lyriel's arms shook as she slid her boots off. "Don't repeat this ever." She turned to glare at him, but it was halfhearted. The fire was not blazing. She looked more like a girl than a soldier.

        "I won't." Tamlin knew at that moment that he would keep this conversation between them. "Just ... Tell me what's going on."

        Lyriel cleared her throat, moving to lay in his bed. He had not told her she could. Yet, he found that he was too concerned to care. "I feel safer when I'm around you."

        No one had ever told him that. He often felt as though he scared people away. He thought they ran from him. No one had ever run towards him. His stomach churned. He wished she would have said anything else. How could he stand to push her away when she was the first person who had ever needed him?

        This whole thing was becoming a complicated mess.

        He needed to tell her to leave. To tell her to get the hell out and never come back. 

        But how could he? She was curled into a ball, making herself so small that she may have disappeared. He didn't ignore how she buried her face in the pillow he used. Nor how she was shivering. 

        Something within him broke at the sight. 

        Tamlin slowly stood, making his way over to the bed. He sat down beside her, resisting the urge to rest his hand on her shoulder. He stared at the wall behind her. Keeping his thoughts on something other than the woman who he wanted to wrap in his embrace.

        "What's going on, Lye," he felt somewhat odd calling her by the nickname. However, it felt as though this was the moment to comfort her. To tell her things were going to be alright. Even if he could not make things better. "I've never seen you like this before."

        Lyriel kept her back to him, staring at the same wall he was. "We don't need to talk."

        Something within him felt as though it was falling from a great height. He didn't know why she was pushing him away while she ran to him. Was he that despicable? Was he someone that she wanted to just shove as far away as she possibly could? He didn't know. He didn't want to know either.

        "I think we do," he told her, still not daring to touch her. "Something's upset you."

        A loud clap of thunder shook the windows, Lyriel ducked her head under the blankets. He could hear her voice but he could not make out the words she spoke. 

        Tentatively, he reached out through the bond. He would not touch her physically but he would use the bond to his advantage. He sent feelings of comfort and peace, wrapping her in whatever protection that he possibly could. Yet, he knew this would not be enough. She could feel comforted but if she was anticipating every crash, every bang she would more than likely continue to feel anxious.

        "You know you shouldn't be here, right?" Tamlin regretted the words the second they left his mouth. No one had ever said that he knew how to speak with people. Lyriel would be no exception.

        "I said we didn't have to talk," he heard her voice from under the blanket. At least she was speaking to him.

        "You're in my room, Lyriel." Tamlin sighed. "I'll decide if we talk or not."

        "I already told you the truth. What more do you want from me?" She peeked out from under the blanket. He had to swallow down the lump that had formed in his throat.

        "I just want to know where your heads at." He admitted, fighting the urge to run his fingers through her hair. To pull her into his lap and hold her until the storm passed. She wasn't Feyre. She wasn't the one he was supposed to hold. Hell, he didn't even do that with Feyre. She didn't need him to.

        Lyriel didn't seem to need him at all most of the time. She was ice. Unmoving and unchallenged. More a glacier than a woman. But as the lightning illuminated her face, he saw her for what she was. A woman who had been forced to grow up too fast. There was a hint of childish fear deep within the depths of her frozen eyes. Her left eyebrow twitched slightly. He noticed there was a new cut in it, probably from training that morning.

        There were bags under her eyes, darker than anything he'd ever seen on a High Fae. Had she been sleeping? Had she taken care of herself? Or was she just that miserable in the Spring Court? He'd caused this. He knew that he had.

        "My head is perfectly fine," it did not sound like the truth. "I just have an issue with storms."

        "What's the issue?" Tamlin wanted to ask if she had been sleeping. If she'd been eating enough. All the same questions he knew he should ask Feyre. All the questions he had been avoiding answering when anyone asked him.

        "I don't like them." It was a guarded answer. There was something more there. But Tamlin did not want to press. Not when she was holding herself so tightly, not when his blankets were wrapped around her like a shield. Besides, soon enough he would not be the one worrying about Lyriel Chaeren.

        He knew that he needed to get her as far from the Spring Court as possible. He knew that she deserved to find someone who would love her as he loved Feyre. Yet, the idea of her being away from him made him want to vomit. The thought of another person wrapping their arms around her and protecting her when the winds raged and thunder rattled made him see red. He needed her. He needed her to need him. Yet, he couldn't have her. It was unfair to both of them to keep her around.

        Mother above he never wanted to let her go.

        "You'll find the Spring Court gets them quite often," it was true enough. Tamlin knew he would tear apart his own Court brick by brick if it meant keeping the storms away. If it meant keeping Lyriel safe. "But they don't last long."

        "If you're determined to have a discussion, can we please talk about something else?" Her twitching eyebrow rose just slightly. The sight nearly comical. 

        "What do you want to talk about?"

        "Anything," Lyriel's voice was strong despite the shaking of her body. "Why haven't you punished me for training?"

        "I'm more afraid of what you'll do if I keep you from it," Tamlin admitted with a slight nod of his head. "I saw that look in your eyes when you came into my office and I ... I didn't want to be the reason it was gone."

        When the morning came, he would regret the words. Until then, she needed him. Maybe he needed her. He could allow himself to speak the truth to her. For one night. While she was scared, defenseless, he would be honest. 

        "No one's going to break me," she sounded determined. "Not even you."

        It wasn't said out of hate. He knew she meant that he could choose Feyre. That he was free to choose who he loved, who he gave his heart to. She wouldn't let his decision be the end of her. He didn't know how much he needed that knowledge.

        Tamlin slowly took her hand. It was wrapped in the blanket and hard to grasp, but he still took it. Her hand was cold, even though the blankets. Ice ran in her veins while the first blooms of spring ran in his. The Mother had played a cruel joke.

        The two fell into an easy silence, Tamlin continuing to send comfort through the bond. Her hand slowly warming while he held it. His own roaring mind quieted as she held onto him. He felt as though he could finally breathe again. As if some heavy weight had left him.

        "Tam," her voice was soft, muffled with the early onset of sleep. "Will you stay with me?" 

        His heart seemed to slow as he heard her question. He knew what his answer should be. That he would go to Feyre and spend the rest of the night with her. That Lyriel would be leaving after the wedding so him staying did not matter. But he knew the truth. He had always known.

        "Always." 

        As Lyriel drifted into an easy sleep, Tamlin came to a realization. It didn't matter who wanted her gone. It didn't matter how he felt about her or Feyre. Lyriel Chaeren was there to stay. Even if he could not give her the life she deserved, he could not throw her to the side. 

        Tamlin Rosehall was a selfish bastard.

[illyriandreamer]

Heal Me Chapter One

She died down there, the sex, blood and tears ruined her. A mask she was too afraid to take off. She needed to heal and he knew that all too well.

Elvie of the Night Court, was the first daughter. And everything she did was for her family’s survival. Except she didn’t care about her own.

Azriel/OC {Mature Themes/Content}

Time had meant nothing to me for a while now, I don’t know how long I was in her clutches that afternoon, all I was to her was a slab of meat to please herself, to give her power. I only wished that I could mist her right in front of me, her body turn to atoms underneath my fingertips. My powers were fleeting, there was no possible way to carry out my dream of turning her to dust or shattering her mind to the extent so she couldn’t wipe the dribble off her own chin.

These were the thoughts that kept me sane while her hands caressed my body and violated my pale skin. She would smirk to herself as she tasted me, thinking that my body was reacting to her touch. It was the thought of her death that kept me slick between my legs. I glowered at her as if she was the only person in my life.

After my tongue had bought her to the edge multiple times that day I was released. I felt sick to my stomach and did she know it. That was her goal when my brother or I were whoring ourselves in her bed. She took everything we had and made it hers. To tear and create the little puppets that she loved so dearly. Amarantha liked to think she had control over us, and maybe me and Rhys were the only ones here that weren’t. This was a means to an end

I picked myself up off her satin sheets, picking up the sheer black veil gown she forced me to wear to her bed. She came up behind me and ran her fingers through my hair and shivered at her touch. She wrapped her fingers in my waist left waves. I wanted to tear away not caring if clumps of black hair went with it. She seemed to have some twisted obsession with pulling on my hair in bed

“My beautiful girl.” She whispered in my ear. “You’re so good at serving your queen.”  I closed my eyes forcing a smirk and turned to face her. I gave her a kiss on the corner of her mouth.

“Always.” My voice was not mine own, a mask. A mask that I wore in front of her, the hewn city, that I once wore in the presence of my father. I took a slow walk out of her suite, thinking about scrubbing my skin raw to get rid of her scent. I slammed the door behind me and leant against the wall. I wanted to scream, and shake, tear down the vile court she had built. I was being watched and I turned to the right of the corridor to see the filthy Attor staring me down. Its black eyes clung to the shape of my body. I needed an outlet and that creature had sent me over the edge.

I marched forward at the beast ready to use what I had to tear it limb by limb, not caring what Amarantha did to me for it. The few measly parts of my darkness that I had control over reached out as I boiled over. Graciously from no where my brother put a hand on my shoulder and shielded my exposed body from sight. His eyes raging violet he turned to the Attor with dictation in his voice.

“Why don’t you find somewhere else to fester. Unless you need to lose an eye for looking at Higher Fae like dinner?” The Attor didn’t dare to respond to Rhysand as he scrambled away on his beady little legs.

Rhys pulled his tunic off his body and put it over my head, I slipped in my arms and welcomed the comfort of fabric to my thinned paled body. Rhys pulled back my hair tied it back with a piece of leather from his wrist. I stood there and let Rhys look after me, because I knew that it helped him. When things came to their end, when we had a way out of this, Rhys needed to be okay and id just heal when I could.

“Did you get some sleep?” I asked as he guided me towards me room. People kept their heads down as we walked by. Both of us stood straight and wore our masks.

“Enough to keep you safe.” He kissed the top of my head.

My brother ran me a bath as I sat on the edge of the bed. I wanted to go home. I wanted to see the stars from the house of wind. I wanted Cass to hug me tightly in the morning. When I woke up in the night I wanted Az to be there hiding in the shadows. Rhys came into view and leaned against the door frame.

“I’ve ran you a bath. I’ve left some of my clothes in there, to try and get off the smell of her. But you’ll have to dress again for tonight.” Tonight, I don’t think my body could take even being around her even if it was around other people too. “No sleep actually. I’ll take care of her.”

“Rhys.”

“You’ve tired her out. It will just be charm.” He kissed my head. “For Velaris.” He whispered.

“For our dream.” I whispered back, and he left me to it.

I soaked in the bath for what seemed like hours, not that I cared. The water went cold and it wasn’t until Nuala and Cerridwen came to my room. I was silent as they helped me into the clothes that Rhys had left me and made me get into bed.

“High Lord gave us strict instructions you’re to rest tonight.” Nuala told me as she tucked me in like a child. I rolled my eyes as Cerridwen gave me a glass of wine.

“Do you miss him?” I asked the twins, my mask dropping in front of the half wraiths. “Tell me whose orders are better. Humour me?” I asked.

“The Shadows.” Nuala told me and walked to the door.

“The Shadows.” Cerridwen smiled as I took a sip of wine. She took the goblet and set it down for me. “Sleep well, my lady.”

Sleep was something that I wanted and yet feared. She was in my every dream, she was in my every waking moment. I couldn’t escape her. It felt like those hours before. The touch in my dreams felt just like I was awake. And so did the pain and punishments. As I slept I knew Rhys was receiving one or she would wait for me and terrorize us both, pull our subjects in front of us and torture them to the point of death and not even then could we help.

Rhys told me to sleep. I didn’t get much of it, I woke up drenched in sweat. I picked up  the goblet and forced the wine down my throat. To give me a buzz of any sort to stop feeling so broken. I climbed out of bed and I couldn’t smell her on me anymore. Rhys’ tunic had done its job. I pulled open the wardrobe and pulled out a soft silk dress. I ripped away the night court fabric replacing it with the navy blue high neck dress. I had no under garments, Amarantha liked to have easy access. I wanted to be sick at just the thought. I rested my hand on my aching stomach, I was hungry and I glanced at the doors. If I wanted to eat then I needed to leave the safety of my room. I brushed my hair through and pushed it back with a diadem.

I looked down to tie up the ribbon on my heels and when I looked up I jumped back at the person who was in mirror opposite. Today she had called my beautiful, but my eyes were hollowing, the tanned skin that ran in my blood was grey. The high cheek bones that anyone would die for was because my body was starving myself, of love, happiness, flying, and the stars. I was dying. I was not the same girl that walked in arms with her brother, followed by their court of nightmares. I could not seem weak. I had to seem like I was still that girl at least in front of her.

I walked to the ‘throne room’ passing a number of other courts people of the way, the mask of strength and power, and bitch wore on my face. As I came close to the high stone doors they opened to a girl bloodied and bruised dragged out by two guards.  I looked closely at the girl. She was human, and I felt sorry for her pain. I wanted to reach out and take it away. I rested my hands in front of me and walked again into the throne room.

There she was bright red hair and a tight red dress with red lips. Everything red for blood and power. I strutted towards her wearing a smirk and bowed gently at her then blew her a kiss as if I was the happiest girl in the room. She nodded at me and then I was free to walk towards Rhys.

He was sipping wine in the corner of the room surrounded by a few nightmare court people. When I walked over they stopped talking. Rhys was leaned against the wall with one hand in his pocket, he smirked as he sipped on his wine.

“Shoo.” I flapped my hands at them and they scurried off like mice leaving me and my brother in private. I took his wine off him, if I got drunk enough maybe it would be easier tonight. “Who was that girl?” I asked him. Rhys looked pained when I mentioned it.

“The girl from the Spring Court. She came back for Tamlin.” He answered. I looked at the body of Claire Beddor. Welts and all.

“I thought Claire was his human girl.” I frowned at him and he shook his head. I crossed my arms. “Rhys.”

“I thought she gave me a fake name, when the Attor turned up with a girl.” He closed his eyes and sighed. “I knew it wasn’t her. I lied to her said it was, now she’s come to claim Tamlin. Break the curse.” My heart stopped for a moment.

“We’re going home.” My voice cracked.

“Not until she completes three tasks of her choosing.” He pointed his chin towards the bitch lounging on the throne.  I looked back at Rhys.

“Think she can?” He nodded with a smile. A real smile on his face for once.

“Not without a helping hand.”

“Rhysand!” Amarantha called him over. He leaned down to kiss me on the cheek.

“Lucien needs to help her heal. Go tell him.” Rhys whispered. I nodded as he brushed past going over to red haired witch.

Things were beginning to change around here. Amarantha seemed to be on edge, even worse than the weeks leading up to the end of Tamlin’s 50 years. Everyone under the mountain could feel the change in her. That she was suddenly threatened by a human girl, maybe not realising this herself.

I shoved the glass into the arms of someone walking by and swayed my hips over to the broken soul Lucien. This girl better be worth it.

I tapped Lucien on the nose of his fox mask and trailed down to his lips where he grabbed my wrist and stared me down with his golden eye. I smirked.

“Id like you to unhand me now.” I asked sweetly. Keep the mask I told myself. He let my hand drop and drunk more wine. Seems like he was drinking to forget.

“What do you want Elvie?” He snapped.

“Me?” I placed my hand on my chest and feigned shocked. “What makes you think I want anything from you foxy?” He just stared at me. Fake it Elvie. “Okay, okay you got me.” I put my hands up in the arm at him. I leaned closer to him so my whisper would carry to his ear.

“What you’re going to do is simple. Guards change every three hours. So just before change over youre going to visit that little human girl, and you’re going to help her as much as you can. Do you hear me? I shouldn’t have to ask twice, youre quite fond of her too right?” I leaned back. Lucien nodded at me taking another sip. “Good foxy.”

I walked away leaving him to drown in his self-pity. I had enough of my own.

[ilyiad]

can you rant about acotar too? i like the second book, but everyone is sk straight and white

honestly there is so much not included here i hate about these books but:

excessive use of ellipses and em-dashes aside, it still fucking sucks. it’s one of the straightest things i have ever read and it’s not even well written lmao making mor a wlw was an obvious last-minute addition to the series - which i could forgive bc, yknow, learning from the past and improving is always a wonderful thing - except her whole “i’m not out to protect azriel’s feelings” spiel was...how do i say this......dumb as Fuck

wait no there was another bit of crap representation! remember helion, our resident threesome-obsessed bisexual?  no that wasnt a joke the only thing i remember about him was that he kept trying to get people to sleep with him 

it was.......a good effort at not being a homophobe. just not a successful one! keep trying sarah you’ll get there i believe in you

WHERE ARE THE NON WHITE PEOPLE

this is !!! i shit you not !!!! a fucking fairy universe !!!!! why are they all white cishets !!!!!!!! white cishets are bland as fuck !!!!!!!!!!! make it stop !!!!!!!!!!!! 

so many opportunities and the fairies are still sexist dickbags. despite the human realm being treated as Backwards, the fairies are really no better...not only that, their society + magical system is fucking inherently sexist. why are there no high ladies? why can’t the title just pass to the most powerful regardless of gender? Who Knows

oooooh boy the fucking mate system. the fucking mate system. wow. i actually don’t know what to say. how fucking dumb is the fucking dumb-ass mate system? the answer is extremely fucking dumb!!!! it’s just an excuse for the dudes to be possessive assholes!!!!!!! what the fuck!!!!!!

also way to go having your poc-coded illyrians - who were, for the record, real people - be savage & backwards & in need of being Civilised. sound familiar? lmfao it’s both blatantly racist and just plain stupid to include it

i dont mean to nitpick (that’s a lie i absolutely do) but what the shit fucking hell kinda name is feyre archeron. when i found out it was pronounced fey-ruh i had a minor heart attack in the worst way possible. calling your protagonist Fairy Archer is the kinda laughably stupid thing id expect from my twelve-year-old self writing her first fanfic not from a published author u could at least PRETEND ur making an effort

whilst we’re on the subject of names her names have absolutely no consistency. tam lin is an existing character, is her tamlin meant to reflect that? isn’t this supposed to be a beauty and the beast retelling? how come lucien has a last name but no one else does? what’s going on? 

whilst we’re on the subject of consistency....oh boy there isn’t any

none. no consistency. not a drop of it. 

the magic system makes absolutely no sense. the whole idea of the courts is stupid. how come tamlin/his court is powerful enough to freeze the place in spring whilst Most Super Amazing Badass Powerful High Lord Rhysand’s court just has....prettier stars than everyone else or smth???? we may never know

oh also??? what do the fairies worship????? they go on about a Cauldron for ages (also they keep saying “cauldron boil me” which is absolutely fucking hilarious but i digress) and then in the second(?) book they start going on about the Mother and then some kinda Goddess completely out of the blue (well, because maas decided she wanted even more sexism and introduced the Slutty Bitchy High Priestess system) and yet they curse like we do in the real world as well as taking the name of the mother/cauldron/whatever by constantly talking about hell. this could work if it was handled by someone competent but their magic/religious system hasn’t had a whisper of any concept of hell and so it just sounds awkward and stupid

SWEET HOLY MOTHER OF GOD THE WRITING IS PISS-POOR THOUGH. they swear a lot but not in a normal way, just in a “can you tell this series is Edgy and Young Adult tm yet” because, sorry not sorry, i can’t believe they’re all-powerful 500-year-old magical beings when they curse like 12-year-olds do when they’re out of sight of their parents feeling really cool about it

tamlin’s characterisation is incredibly inconsistent and it’s so clearly because maas suddenly decided she wanted rhysand to be the love interest instead so she made him do a full 180 instead of having their relationship progress in a way that was, like...believable

feyre’s sisters??? are literally Evil Stepsister clones and i know they get redemption arcs later on but they can literally suck my dick they’re fucking useless materialistic assholes and feyre kinda flips between caring about them and thinking they need to fuck off. personally i think every single character in this godforsaken series needs to fuck off but im kind of biased

honestly it felt like maas was tryna take a page from the success of the hunger games and go for the ‘archer sister providing for her family bc her single parent is fucking useless and the siblings also can’t help’ but it felt like...how do i say this.....a Cheap Shitty & Poorly Executed Rip Off

speaking of rip offs the amount of lines that are paraphrased from harry potter & other series’ ??? “light can be found in even the darkest of hells” how unsubtle can you GET jesus

[yatosponytail]

My thoughts on the potential “ships” for the spin off series

Well, it looks like SJM has just created one of the biggest shit storms I’ve ever seen in the FINALE of a series. Between blowing holes in one and creating the most confusing love pentagon that may or may not come into play, this was a mess. Let me try to break it down:

ELUCIEN: I’m going to be straight up honest here and say I love this ship. I was actually thinking about it even before the ending of ACOMAF where it was revealed *gasp* they were mates. 

why I do think they would work together: I always thought Elain and Lucien would be a good match because they were both tenderhearted and sweet. I know a lot of people see Lucien as snarky and sassy, but I’ve always seen that as his shield. Back in the first book after hearing what Lucien’s father did to his partner, Feyre even states that she now understands why Lucien acts the way he does and builds up walls to keep people out. It was more of a mask, a way to protect himself after being hurt by his family and even Tamlin over the years. Deep down, he’s actually extremely softhearted and always trying to make others happy before himself. Elain is similarly softhearted (although ACOWAR definitely showed us she can be quite unpredictable at times) Yes, Elain is also the opposite of Jesminda, but I think a more gentle-hearted person would be suited to help both of them heal from their pasts. 

my predictions:  after finishing ACOWAR, i’m not going to lie:  I feel like I’m sailing aboard the Titanic. There were just so many possible “hints” foreshadowing that SJM is going to make Elucien an example of the mating bond being wrong (not going to lie that this sort of pisses me off though. It’s just extremely convenient that all but two sets of parents we never met, the mating bond is always 100% right. Like shit, people have already suspected that Nessian might be mates and there was the whole thing with Kallias loving Viviane for years and as soon as he came back and they did the do THEY JUST SO HAPPENED TO BE MATES >:U Don’t try to ex machina 99% of the time and then try to teach me a lesson with that one percent) There’s also the fact that I s2g SJM knows who my favourite characters are and loves to screw with them *coughcoughchaolanddoriancoughcough* 

BUT ALAS, there were some looks and moments that leave me with some small inkling of hope. 

VASSIEN: Even if Elriel ends up being canon, I REALLLLY (atm, i might change my mind, but probably not :P) don’t want it to end up as one of those “well I can’t leave poor Lucien alone so I created a love interest just for him” (here’s looking at you, Chaol novel :I) 

why I’m not for this ship: I think a lot of people believe Vassa and Lucien would work because she seems to be similar to Jesminda, but that just seems weird. Why would you want to be with someone who reminds you of your dead lover? Lucien describes her as someone with a “foul temper and foul mouth” and suggests Vassa and Feyre would get along quite well. Which a) just made me think that she’s similar to Feyre and as much as I love my lovely brotp, i don’t even crack ship that shit and b) made me think she’s going to be a similar version to Aelin, especially with all the fire queen parallels and shit. Like i said earlier, I feel like the Lucien I think of (I know everyone interprets characters in their own way) is someone who is more kind hearted and soft than the snarky bastard he may appear as sometimes. It’s really weird for me to think of Lucien in a relationship like Feysand and Nessian where there’s snarky banter and retorts and it’s highly sexual (even though I know there’s that whole fire dick meme going around lol) when I think of him as my cinnamon roll and see him being in that cute fluff ship. I can’t speak on if she’d be good for Lucien to help him with his past since we know next to nothing about her as she came in on the last 20 pages and most of what we heard was from others, but so far I’m not seeing what they’d really have in common unless she has some evil parents that killed her lover or something.  There could also be potential problems since isn’t Vassa human? Is Lucien destined to repeat the cycle of sadness his whole life???? I also feel like it’s going to be one of those “whelp he needs a love interest” type of ships like I said earlier.

my predictions: Knowing SJM and how she likes to write (since 95% of the time she’s pretty predictable and uses a ton of recycled themes from her other series and vice versa :P) this will more than likely end up canon. The whole set up for the spin off is taking care of the queens and now I guess, breaking Vassa’s curse (way to set that one up at the end of the last book) There were also just smaller hints of Lucien blushing when talking about her and the whole “we’re both fire” parallels that just screamed cheesy set up to me. OFC I want Lucien to be happy seeing as he’s my favourite, but every time I say that it always ends up backfiring on me so now I’m just going to be selfish and say not here for this BYE.

ELRIEL: My feelings on Elriel are sort of a middle ground. I don’t love it, but I don’t hate it like I do with Vassien. 

my feelings overall: OFC I ship Elucien, but I would be alright with it if Elain and Azriel ended up together. The moments they had in the books were pretty cute and I feel like they’re somewhat similar and Azriel understands what Elain is going through. Ironically enough, I feel like Azriel and Lucien are quite similar. They both lost a loved one (sort of different circumstances obviously, but you catch my drift) They’re both kind and self sacrificing and can be snarky/sassy at times and they both have really fathers and brothers. Honestly, I was hoping for some bromance, but hell if that’s going to happen if this does end up being a fuckfest of love triangles. Cause even if they both choose other people, Elain and Lucien are always going to be mates (unless SJM pulls some haha just kidding I just made you think they were mates shit like with the whole Rowan thing in TOG) and it’d probably be an awkward time. 

My biggest problems with this ship have more to do with the fact that a) who the fuck even knows if he was doing all that because he liked her or just because he was being a nice person and knew how she felt and b) Azriel has spent literal centuries wanting to be with Mor and for him to just be like “whelp guess it’s time to move on” would be in poor taste. 

A) Nothing really hinted at being anything other than friends. I mean, Azriel did give his blade to someone which he’s never done, but I also can interpret that as him just understanding Elain and seeing himself in bits of her. Elain kissed him on the cheek after he saved her which isn’t really that crazy of a thing to do. I don’t remember it saying he blushed or did anything that would interpret it as more. Even more so, when Elain was kidnapped Azriel didn’t go crazy with worry. Just comparing how brashly he acted when Eris just insulted her and Elain being taken it just didn’t seem like he cared for her beyond that of a friend. Ofc it could still be that it is more or could be something in the future, but during ACOWAR there was nothing beyond the fact that Feyre thought they’d be better together and a few kind gestures to really hint at anything more.

B) Obviously Moriel isn’t going to happen (even if she is sort of hinted at as bisexual, she made it clear she couldn’t love him fully the way he needs and deserves to be) but that doesn’t mean it’s completely swept under the rug. Az still doesn’t even know these facts so I doubt he’s even started to think about finding someone else. And even after he does find out, he’s still going to need a shit ton of down time. Like i said before, for him to just move on would be in poor taste. ( I think the whole situation with Feyre and Rhys was quite different than  this so don’t try to come at me with comparisons there) This guy has been in the ?? zone for 5 centuries and one does not just move on in a month. And the same goes for Elain even if she ends up with Lucien, she is also still in love with that dickwad Grayson and they both have to deal with their unrequited loves. 

predictions:  Like I said, I have a feeling SJM will be using the whole “some mates are’t meant for each other” and if that happens, she’s gonna pair them with other people. The mostly likely for Elain would obviously be Azriel. All the points I made here also give me hope that maybe Sarah is just setting this up as a red herring so that we don’t go into the next books confident we already know what will happen but at the same time I feel like that’s giving SJM a lot of credit where I don’t think she’s been great at. I can never really tell with her “foreshadowing” because a lot of it comes off as very clumsily done in my opinion. Even with the most complex of stories, when you finally figure out the twist and look back it should be quite obvious with all the hints and foreshadowing, but I feel like with SJM’s works it just makes you wayyyyyy too confused. Like I never really saw the Mor being lesbian/bisexual thing coming. I don’t remember anything that would have hinted at it except Rita’s which was pretty vague if you ask me :P I reread ACOMAF before ACOWAR came out and there was just so many things that seemed like Mor did like Azriel and it was him and his own self worth problems that were stopping them. I guess maybe you could call that a red herring, but a) I think giving hope to people who obviously seriously shipped this when there was literally none was a pretty shit move and b) it’s still a pretty sad version of one. Honestly, if it wasn’t for Vassa I’d feel a bit more in the middle, but the fact that Vassa is there just screams that this is how things will go down, but who knows, maybe that’s a red herring too. 

Now there’s also other things I want to address. I felt like there was a lot of hinting that Eris could play a big part in the spin off series too. This is sort of a crack idea, but I do seem to recall Eris being intrigued by Nesta quite a bit and I wonder if SJM wants to really fuck with people and have him try to get with Nesta or something lololol. Or maybe he just wants her powers (if she still has them) or will come into play to fuck with Lucien some more. Only time will tell, but does anyone else feel like he was being pointed out quite a bit and that hinted at something??

There’s also the question of Mor and if she’ll get a love interest (if she finally comes out to everyone) and if Elucien is canon *pleasebookgodsgivemepeaceofmind* what does that mean for Mor and Vassa?

I’ve heard people suggest possibly Vassa and Mor? I guess I can’t say too much about that since we don’t know much bout her, but it seems interesting. Although once again, Mor was once in love with a queen/human so that might be problematic. 

There was also that one human girl Briar which I feel like will play an important part. It just seems weird to go to that much trouble of saving her and naming her to just have her be some random that never comes into play again.

AND FINALLY: Tamlin. A ton of people are obviously going to hate Tamlin regardless, but I think SJM wrote his interaction and redemption (especially that one part) really well. Feyre’s last words to him are for him tofind happiness too and although not everyone needs to end up with someone, this is a romance series and that’s just how things tend to end up.

OVERALL THOUGHTS:  Although I’m excited for more books and spending more tie with these characters and this world I’m also fucking terrified that SJM will somehow manage to make me hate it. For me, the TOG series has just been drained of the things I previously loved about it and I mainly just plan to keep reading since I came this far with it. I don’t want this series to end up like that. This series has been such a joy and breathe of fresh air and I would hate to see it go downhill. The hints at love triangles has really dampened my excitement, I’m not going to lie. I hate getting emotionally invested in a pairing to just watch it turn out to be nothing. It starts conflict within the fandom and is just honestly a shit time in general for everyone. Although I still have hope -- always.

Thanks for reading this mess of a post and I’m sorry for any grammer errors because I’m a lazy fuck who doesn’t want to spend time going over and correcting it. I hope I got everything across okay because sometimes I have a hard time putting why I love things into words (I’m pretty good with the things I hate though lol) Feel free to message me if you want to discuss anything mentioned in this post.

                                     Any thoughts?