#the anime backstory was just weird so it's not difficult to make a better one but still

[shoechoe]

Fugo's backstory in PHF is 10x better than the anime one what the hell

[quailxcrossing]

AAAAHH AAHH JUMPS UP AND DOWN JOYFULLYYY!!!!! I love reading about your ocssssss I’m. Stares up at you with giant wet eyes THERE ARE A LOT OF THESE IM SORRY I GOT EXCITED HEELLPPP FEEL FREE TO NOT ANSWER SPOILERY(?) ONES OFC!!!

43 & 17 for Rlioch

37 Auï and Fracture

35 Auï

1, 38 & 44 for Bartenn

16, 40 & 49 for Machwell

and 56 for Machwell and Bartenn LMAOO

YAYYYY HI!!!!! HEY FISH ohhohoho rubs my little hands together. delightful questions so delightful

RLIOCH [43] Do they enjoy flirting or being flirted with?

nooooo but also yessss ? he's allo/allo, but simply doesn't prioritize relationships at the moment. he...does flirt, a little, in a weird way, and he doesn't mind being flirted back with, but only women he's interested in, or else he gets unreasonably pissed off. he's just a very difficult person to be with, i think...for many reasons. he has indeed been in relationships but they've been......mmmmm......

[17] What is their biggest struggle that no one around them is able to understand or believe? I'll imagine the "no one" in this question is our little protagonist troupe. I think the true answer to this question is a bit sppooilery of Rlioch's backstory, but I think its literally just that- Goat and his friends have a hard time believing Rlioch really has a backstory. it's not a great one, but I would never say Rlioch acts without motive. they just have so little sympathy for him, they can't understand he'd act under pretense but pure malice.

AUÏ

[35] Do they like their own appearance, and what do they do, if anything, to alter it in any way?

MY GUY!!! ok ok Auï has had such an up and down relationship with his body.....from the biggest ego ever to so much crushing body dysmorphia, the answer to this question is not an easy yes or no. Auï understands, on some level, his appearance is likeable, and has qualities to be liked, but he feels so disconnected and uncomfortable in his skin that he used to literally shower fully clothed.

but he's getting better over time, and he's doing all sorts of little things to make himself feel more at home in his frame again- growing his hair out, for one! that was always something he had control over. he also is taking more time for his fashion, instead of simple greyscale clothing, he loves experimenting with alt fashion like his gothic outfits when he goes out and his silly graphic print shirts at home. his fashion has become a huge outlet for him.

Auï has two moods.

both make him very happy :)

[37] How would they spend a lazy day when they have nothing specific to do?

he loves to laze....watch tv or videos, play clicker games in the basement on Vega's desktop (like Horse World Online), or nap/catch up on his rest, or he'll wander around and see what his friends are doing and watch them/join them. he's a simple lad. so tired. a day off is soooo desired...

TURRIE (art by my friend @/tigtoggle!!) [37] How would they spend a lazy day when they have nothing specific to do?

probably find a little perch and sit around and doodle. if she wants to go out, she'll find some idle wandering and exploring to do around town, as she's still learning the area! she might also sleep tbh, but hanging off Cian is incredibly likely. she might find a little place in their backyard to sit and work in her sketchbook.

BARTENN [1] What first impression do they typically make? Are they likeable from the get go, or take time to grow on people?

Depends on who are you are, i think! He gets along best right off the bat with people who share his humor, he can't help to rib at people when doing transactions, and a lot of folks find that offputting. he's just sorta an old dad. he's friendly, but teasing. so if people are as chatty and extroverted as him, they may have him likeable off the get go, but i know my scared fearful prey-animal self would be so unsure what to say to him

[38] What do they usually do or where do they go when they need to feel comfortable and safe?

He's most comfortable and safe at his gas station! he treats the whole place like his house. no one has the upper hand on him in there. he actually feels really vulnerable outside of the gas station, even to a certain degree in his own house, but he doesn't show it. bartenn is not one to ever let his guard down

[44] On a party, where would you find them?

most likely in a back corner with his friends, drinking and making idle smalltalk. he's not one for raging parties anymore- and he is NOT hitting the dance floor. dad is NOT breaking it down swagful style. he is not even going to try. his back hurts

MACHWELL i like this guy

[16] Do they easily rely on others to help them out, or prefer doing everything themselves?

Machwell really prefers doing everything himself. he hates asking for help...which sucks because he really does need a lot of help in a lot of aspects of his life. his main "problem solving" tactic is "lay down and don't move for days on end" but he's FINE he's handling EVERYTHING and he doesn't Want anyone getting in his space anymore; he doesn't like feeling incapable, it makes him scared. so. regardless. bartenn will help him anyway. he's careful to make sure machwell doesn't feel coddled, but just enough to keep him from rotting to death on his couch. bartenn is actually one of the first people machwell met when he moved to their town, when machwell was in need of some SERIOUS help, and he's been quietly helping quill ever since. and machwell is helping him too!

[40] How picky they are with food, do they have specific dietary requirements based on their health or culture?

Machwell is a moderately picky eater, he has a couple of set meals that he really likes (usually with highly acidic, bitter ingredients) and he likes a lot of "controversial" food like bleu cheese, eggplant, and beef liver,,,so he's not really a classic picky eater, he's just more of a guy who often forgets to eat and then gets crazy cravings for a whole jar of black olives at 4am. (and he eats a lot and i mean a LOT of pineapple....canned pineapple is his favorite. he loves how it makes his mouth hurt.) he is lactose intolerant tho. this is not a relevant fact but its something that i know

[49] Do they possess any unexpected skill or knowledge that surprises others, and otherwise, what is something anyone would assume they know or can do, but in fact they don’t?

A little known fact about Machwell is that he was going to be a realtor before his life went extremely downhill. he was in trade school for it and everything- he dropped out because his ex-girlfriend-then-ex-wife thought it was taking up too much of his attention and time. but yeah Machwell will just randomly know a lot about housing markets work. and he gave his youngest son his crazy good math brain to wrap around all the transactions.

now. i know what you're thinking. "Quail, Machwell does not seem to have a single skill that is useful for being a realtor" (good communication, people skills, personable, friendly, emotional intelligence, etc etc) i know.....i never said he was a GOOD realtor! just noting he was a lot of unexpected knowledge in that area :D

the silly grand finale

BARTENN AND MACHWELL

[56] How would they react to hearing a dirty joke? Bartenn loves making them, so assuming he's not the guy making it, he's laughing and egging it on. dirty jokes are just like dad jokes between dads (????)

Machwell takes them at face value.

[lady-of-the-puddle]

Welcome Back

Today I will be rating Beck's

Potential Partners?

The question mark is because some of them were definitely his partners, others will not admit it, and some came to...circumstances preventing a declaration of their love...anyway.

1. Bodhi

Literally on screen for 30 seconds max

We all clocked that shit instantly

Never brought him up again (thx to retroactive backstory oops)

Beck was actually visibly sad about him tho to the point his boss/dad had to ask if he was ok

Absolute cute couple though

8/10 I knew him for five seconds and now I have to kill everyone in this room and then myself

2. Paige

Y'all already know. Everyone knows. The whole grid knows.

The sexual tension is palpable

Which brings me to some difficult questions about the nature of programs and what physical functions they may or may not have.

Ugh I'm a sucker for the rivals to lovers thing tho

12/10 top ten hottest bi power couple if they don't kill each other first

3. Tron

I went over this in my tron's exes list but I must reiterate cause reasons

Can you imagine meeting your hero, your icon, your savior and he's....a bit of a bitch??

But you learn and get to know him and he opens up to you and comes to trust you with his life UGH my heart

9/10 I rated this 7/10 before but I'm not scared anymore they're GOOD

4. Cyrus

Look, he gets in with his bffs and the first thing they say to Beck is "you didn't tell us you had a new bf!" (Totally NOT paraphrasing that).

The fucked up stalker/victim pairing is SUCH good tea

And then he tries to kill him later? Delicious.

7/10 this one's for the toxicity 😏

5. Lux (I had to look up her name)

okay this one loses points because they WANTED me to ship this when we already knew Paige existed

I don't like to be told what to do

I mean, it's ok Beck has two hands(more like eight at this point) I can work with it

loved her jaded perspective turning into hope before she was fridged for male pai- I mean derezzed for reasons relevant to the plot 👀 that was definitely neat

Consider: she is pretty though

4/10 they're both a ten but I'm a bitter bitch so sue me

6. Mara

tbh she's such a cutie and deserves way better than whatever incel shit Zed has going on

no wonder she's in love with Tron/the Renegade (I mean, same) I would beg a superhero to save me from him too

she and Beck have such a good dynamic

would be such a cute friends to lovers pair

can you imagine if she found out her bestie was the renegade she's been visibly/audibly thirsting after? Queen shit.

8/10 This one is actually the least toxic here

7. The rebellion leader whose name escapes me (it's Bartik)

so this guy appears in legacy as the rebel leader at Castor's before getting derezzed five minutes later (shocker there)

this one just kinda leaped into my brain when I binged the show directly after watching Legacy

can you imagine inspiring someone to change sides completely and then become the leader of the very fire you sparked long after you're probably gone? Endlessly romantic.

6/10 I have yet to have a really bad ship tbh

8. Pavel

I hate it, you hate it, we all hate it

But it's still pretty hot

8/10 bitch on bitch violence

9. Zed

Ahaha I hate it

he's way too comfortable with the evil bad guy shit happening around him.

honestly I have no idea why Beck is even friends with him

HOWEVER

jock/loser pairing

Beck CAN AND WILL fix him

3/10 I don't think we can save this one boys

BONUS ROUND:

10. Tesler

LMAO I just thought of this

Why do I love it tho

Something about the Darkseid omega beam hands that make me think weird thoughts

Now I wish I had put this on my tron list

1/10 or 9/10 depending on the day

I really do love that Beck is just the most specialest boy, he's the grid's next top model, he's batman, he's everything. Istg this is a harem anime in disguise and I ship him with everyone.

I can think of at least two programs off the top of my head that I didn't include because I forgot until now, so tell me about your rare pairs, etc. I was thinking about rating Clu's crushes that he handles in a completely normal way next but that might be too much. This is what happens when we have no new content for 10 years.

[chen-chen-chen-again-chen]

WIP Wednesday

Hello hello! Thank you for the tags, @martsonmars, @hushed-chorus, and @artsyunderstudy. As always, I love the glimpses of what you're all working on!! ❤️❤️

I’m still plugging away at my EGF, but today was just backstory notes, so no fun shareable prose from that. I re-listened to AWTWB recently and it gave me a lot of Jamie Feels, so here's another portrait from the Rosethorn girl universe:

He’s a little heavy, but he’s my brother

By Lucy Winifred Salisbury

(Not-quite) Black and white photography

Interview with the subject and the subject’s flatmate, Lachlan MacCionagh (This is for you, @larkral 😆)

A: I already told you, I’m not going to use cleaning spells around the flat. I’d be in heaps of trouble as it is, if anyone found out I told you - 

Q: Jimothy, Jimothy, Jimothy - you didn’t tell me. I found your wand in a pencil cup. 

A: … You shouldn’t just go - rummaging through my things - 

Q: If mages are so dedicated to secrecy, why don’t they make their magic wands look like ordinary objects? Why not make a wand that looks like a fountain pen so that when someone saw it, they’d think, “Oh look, a fountain pen. How commonplace and not at all suspect.”  

A: … 

Q: Jimothy, how many magical objects are hidden around this flat?

A: That’s not - 

Q: Challenge accepted. 

More blather, resolutions, & tags behind the cut, because I’m never going to master the art of writing shortform for Tumblr. 😆

Robot overlords: I’m quite torn about using DALL-E 2 now, because of the discourse on AI-generated art and stolen datasets, but I’m still emotionally attached to the art that was part of brainstorming Rosethorn girl. 

After a lot of wrestling, I decided that I’m still going to share some of my favourite DALL-E 2 generations, but I won’t be generating any new ones. It’s a murky compromise, but that’s where I’m at right now!

My shit lungs: After three weeks, I’m finally, finally getting better and feeling more like myself. I'm still slow and shaky and crawling along at a snail’s pace when it comes to writing, but I’ll take it. 

My head hasn't been in a fandom space at all for the past three weeks, so I'm also excited to dive back into reading fic!! But on the writer side, I am going to continue to be gentle with myself and toss expectations for myself out the window.

Resolutions: Some 2023 resolutions, in no particular order: 

Be content with doing less. 

Prioritise your health & well-being over your productivity. 

Keep having good conversations with people. Keep listening. 

Show up for your beloved people the best that you can. 

Keep doing weird shit and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, into your growth zone.

Keep doing art that you’re bad at but that you enjoy. 

Say goodbye to old WIPs - finish them, bury them, post them as they are, or otherwise let them go. 

Walk outside more, especially before writing, as your doorway into diffuse mode. 

Remember to do grounding/self-compassion exercises before, during, & after writing difficult things. 

Let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. 

Pressure-free hello tags! @bookish-bogwitch, @cutestkilla, @dohrnaira, @facewithoutheart, @johnwgrey, @larkral, @moodandmist, @nightimedreamersworld, @raenestee, @sailorblossoms, @whogaveyoupermission, @thewholelemon, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

[cookiethew0lf]

(Note: Idk if this counts as an Oc species or not. Also I know character might not fit in said world, but I just really wanted to make something for Trolls.)

(Last updated: December the 24th, 2023.)

Zippy Twist- a fairy with a big ego! She is one of the fastest fairies that still lives. She is popular because she beat a racecar in a race.

Description: Zippy, or just Zip, is a fairy that has more beetle like wings instead of butterfly wings. whenever the wings buzz, they leave a golden pixie dust trail. She has blond hair and two crescent-like yellow stripes over her eyes & has these stripes on her outer wings. Her single horn on her forehead also has a golden ring on it. She hates the winter and rain. Her special powers are creating small outer circles of electricity, and making it bunch up and shoot in one area like a mini lighting strike. To small creatures, this is like getting severely tased, and can even be lethal, but to human sized creatures like the bergens, this will only leave a painful burn mark, unless she charges up for a long time. (atleast 3 mins.) She is also blessed with a third natural power that allows her to be very, very, VERY fast. From the moment she started breathing, she started to bounce of the walls, and constantly run away from her parents.(because she was a brat.) For party tricks she can shoot glitter out of her horn that is golden. And She CAN and WILL start breakdancing when she feels like it, and will blow raspberries. She has a decent singing voice.

Backstory thought: Was going through a really rough time back then, and was slowly loosing her colors, until one day she decided to start racing. When she won the first one, with no effort, and everyone cheered, it gave her a major ego boost, and ever race after that made her happier. This is why she loves racing and other sports.

Other: Parents don't approve of her sporty nature and how cocky she became after her popularity, but they still love her, and she loves them too.

She has a sister named Tessa, Tessa Twist. She's calmer and plays the harp, and sings like an angel. She spends her time playing away from the fairy village on a big mushroom. She's sort of a hippie.

This takes place in Dreamwork's Trolls, and the fairies are around Troll size. They are a bit different from the fairies people usually imagine. They have paw like feet, long tails with a weird shape at the end, and horn(s), and are always GLITTERY, because of the natural glitter they make in their wings that allows them to fly(this also sometimes leaves a glitter trail..). Sometimes fairies have different types of wings. Sometimes they can look like butterfly wings, or more beetle/bug like! Their horns can also come in different shapes and styles- they can be like goat horns, a classic straight pointy sharp horn, etc.. and they can have markings/patterns anywhere on their skin!

During the night, they can start glowing to emit light to see better, but depending on how dangerous the area is, is how much they'll glow. Sometimes, they won't glow at all because of danger (or because it's annoying when you're trying to sleep-)

So yes, they are walking flashlights.

They can also perform spells, and have powers they can easily do because they got them at birth.

For spells, most fairies only know party tricks, but if they study they can do powerful spells.

As for things they got at birth, they can be random. These random things usually result in what they are named. They can usually have 1-2 of these natural powers, or three at very rare instances.

For outfits, they are usually made of furs from animals that are prayed on by other animal predators, like eagles. They also like to wear jewelry sometimes, and even wear rings on their horns.

(Note: if their wings get injured, they can heal within a few weeks. And when their wings get wet, it makes it difficult to fly because it washes away the glitter on their wings. So usually other creatures won't see them flying around Winter or rainy days.)

__________

Now, for the Lilliputains, They also take place in the Troll world. If you don't know what a Lilliputain is, it's basically just a really tiny human. Lilliputains are about the size of a Troll.

For their redesign, I was thinking about making them have fangs, pointy ears, pointy fingers with paw-like feet, a rodent tail, and can have slit or different shaped pupils. They are naturally rude creatures and are wild, and make simple weapons.

Both Fairies and Lilliputains can loose their colors like the trolls if they get depressed. But Faries also lose their color when they die, or it can just become paler/more grayish?

__________________

Okay, that's it. I just wanted to put this somewhere just in case I lose this somehow.

[ghostathan]

Chauncey HoK Headcanons

Thinking about the boy. Making his backstory and eventually after i move i’ll upload all my doodles of him

Prefers He or they. Cross-dresses and strangers assume he’s a woman but it’s nbd 5′3″ Gay -Still unure about age. It’s difficult with TES elves bc they live for like 3 centuries and i’m not exactly sure how fast they age. Chauncy looks youngish like he could be in his early-mid twenties but in an elvish lifespan he’s like 36.

- Incredibly naive and non present with the world around him. He has no skills that would have been prized in Valenwood, where his parents are from. He had never seen it. He’s very clumsy and has bad aim and is incredibly impatient. His parents think that it is because he wasnt raised in Valenwood.

- He actually grew up on the road. His family traveled all over as his father was hired to escort merchants and travelers. His father hoped that a traveling life would better prepare his son in the future. He couldnt exactly help guard anyone or help hunt, but he’s actually pretty strong despite his frame and helped with carrying things and processing kills. He also liked chatting with the merchants and learning more about cyrodil and what happens in the Imperial City.

- He’s got a weird relationship with meat. He’s fine with the taste and he can touch it. he can process an animal. but he has a very sharp sense of smell so if it smells even a LITTLE weird like it hadnt been washed properly or its not like MINUTES fresh, it puts him off of it entirely. - Ended up “eloping” with some merchant who took advantage of his naive nature. convinced him to run away to the imperial city. They got married, only for the merchant to run away and leave Chauncey to pick up the debt, for which he was imprisoned at the start of Oblivion. - Gets offended when people think he’s never gone to jail - Has NO knowledge of the daedra or divines. all he knows is that saying nice things about one or the other can get you killed so he usually avoids those topics.

- He uses a Claymore because he saw it and he thought it was cool. he has NO formal training and just wildly swings it around. This has killed a good number of allies and he HAS been fined for it. He does NOT want to go back to jail it was too sad in there. Wont give up said claymore just because it gets the quickest results. - Is afraid of the Dark Brotherhood. He’s not a murderer. All those claymore casualties were ACCIDENTS! Lachance just sits on his chest and goes “then why dont you just switch to another weapon lmao” and chauncey just gets mad. - He tries to do a lot of stuff that hes not skilled enough to do. Like useless potions that just taste weird and fancy sword tricks that end up with him falling on his face. He bought a soul trap spell and when he tried to cast it he passed out on the road and was being slowly carried away by skeevers until a guard saved him. - Feels SUPER guilty about leaving Kvatch without helping. Whenever he hears someone call him the Hero of Kvatch, he just tells them theyre mistaken. - Because of this, he vowed to close every gate he sees. After maybe the first ten, he learned how to just speedrun them, along with being an expert Looter. Goes into a gate and returns 5 minutes to the general store with like 15 Daedra hearts in a scamp skin and just wetly plops it all on the table. -Aligned with Knights of the Thorn. They have a cool name and their leader is cool. He’s actually picked up a lot of things from Farwyn like saying Huzzah and exagerrating events for coolness. -Wants that 15,000 manor in Cheyindale just to be close to the Knights. If he ever suceeds, he’ll never furnish it. Male living Spaces.  He’s worried though that he’ll be arrested again for his Ex’s debts and be put in jail again. He loves Martin but in the back of his mind, he’s trying to bring it up to him and hopes maybe when Martin’s an emperor, his debts will be erased. -Also some beggar in Imperial City made him check his adventurer priveledge and made him super sad so he like just gives away his gold. -Thinks about Martitties a lot. Like literally just one road trip was all it took for Chauncey to like him. In typical HoK fashion, He would die for Martin. -He told Martin this and Martin  told him he’d rather chauncey live for himself and Chauncey exploded into tears. - in typical bosmer fashion, he sleeps in really uncomfortable places like on a rock in some mountain crevice. but he prefers beds. even if theyre just filled with straw, they just knock him right tf out. Also why he hates Lachance. Stop interrupting his naptime bitch.

[moviemunchies]

I recently finished reading the original five Spiderwick Chronicles books for the first time. I’d picked up the field guide before, and I saw the movie adaptations in theaters. I figured that I should go ahead and watch the movie again, because I enjoyed it and thought I’d give it a go.

And I had fun.

Story goes like this: after a messy divorce, the three Grace children–Mallory, and her younger twin brothers Jared and Simon–move with their mother to the estate of their great aunt Lucinda Spiderwick, who isn’t using it as she was institutionalized a long time ago. Upon exploring the house, Jared finds the hidden study of Lucinda’s father, Arthur Spiderwick, who disappeared years ago. And in the study, he discovers the field guide Spiderwick wrote, a guide to the hidden world of faeries and magical creatures. Except there is a malevolent creature who desperately wants the book, and now that he’s opened it, that ogre is coming for the book, and Jared’s family is the only thing that can stop him.

I remember watching the film the first time thinking that it was a bit weird that all the books were adapted into one movie. Having read the books though, they’re all so short I don’t see what else they could have done. It makes sense to condense it. I imagine because a lot was condensed or cut out, that hardcore fans of the book might not like this movie very much. I think it’s fine as a family film, though it’s obviously not as good as the books.

This isn’t a massive fantasy blockbuster epic. Then again, the books aren’t either. They don’t need to be. That doesn’t mean there aren’t big stakes–very bad things will happen if Mulgarath gets his hands on that book. But it’s not about traveling into the strange and alien worlds as much as seeing the magic that’s hidden in the world around us.

The absolute core of the story for Spiderwick Chronicles has to be the relationships between the family members. In the movie they’re not as well-developed as the books, in part because of time constraints, but also because outside of Jared, the others don’t get as much time to shine. And he is the one who finds the book in the first place, so that makes sense. The other two siblings you don’t get as much of. You probably get the notion that Simon likes animals and keeps pets but the extent of it isn’t quite clear. Likewise, Mallory is mostly ‘the one who fences.’ Which isn’t wrong, but there’s a bit more to her character than that.

I can’t fault the movie too much for focusing on just one character, as having a single protagonist for the audience to identify with is much easier in a film, especially one in which you cannot get into characters’ inner monologues and narration. But it is a bit disappointing.

The shift then, is to make it more about Jared’s relationship with his parents. How his relationship with his mother is difficult, and he doesn’t realize that their father left them. And that’s a bit annoying, but considering the role it plays in the story’s climax I think it overall works for the story.

What does kind of bother me is the change that’s made to Hogsqueal’s backstory and motivations. In the movie, he has longtime beef with Mulgarath for killing his family, and has long wanted revenge. The first time I saw the movie I assumed it was something from the books, but now that I have read the books, I know it’s entirely invented for the movie. I realize that, in condensing the book, they had to give the character some sort of motivation to get involved, but turing the opportunistic Hogsqueal into a guy on a hastily-described revenge quest seems… I thought it could have beens something better.

Also Hogsqueal is voiced by Seth Rogen and that feels a bit weird.

A little bummed that Thimbletack’s lines aren’t all rhyming couplets like in the book. Part of it is that he has a few rhyming lines, and that’s it.

One more notable thing about a cast member: Freddie Highmore, in his pre-The Good Doctor days and post-Charlie and the Chocolate Factory days, plays both twins. I’m not sure why they didn’t pick twin child actors, other than because he was a big child star. He does a good job, though I don’t think his American accent is always quite on point.

This is a good family movie. It’s not a bad adaptation of the books, and it’s got really cool creatures in it. I recommend the movie, I think it works well if you haven’t read the books. Maybe hardcore purists of the books won’t like it, but I don’t think that diminishes the film’s charm.

[some-triangles]

ON THE GRADUATION OF HOLOLIVE 4TH GENERATION’S KIRYU COCO

Some context is going to be required here.

Hololive is a group of virtual youtubers, or vtubers.  This group is run by Cover Corporation, a talent management agency, and is organized along the lines of a Japanese idol group, meaning that new members are added in batches (referred to as “generations“ here but generally called “classes.”)  There are between five and seven generations in Hololive’s Japanese branch, depending on how you count, two in their Indonesian branch, and one in their English branch.   There was also a Chinese branch, at one point, but they all graduated.

Graduation: when a real life idol reaches a certain age (23 or so, usually) and is deemed too old for the business, she “graduates” from her group, with great ceremony, and has to figure out what to do with the rest of her life.  But virtual idols don’t age.  They could go on forever, or at least as long as the person playing them can do the voice.  Nonetheless, graduations do happen - one member of the fifth generation resigned shortly after her introduction following a doxxing and harassment campaign, and the Chinese branch quit en masse after one of the Japanese Hololive members referred to Taiwan as a country.  That member was Kiryu Coco: Yakuza, drug dealer, guerilla filmmaker, edgelord, bilingual comedian, host of the weekly Reddit Shitpost Review, and, fundamentally, an anime dragon woman with enormous tits.  (Her horns are real, but her tail, she lets us know, is a plug-in.) 

Coco announced her graduation yesterday.  She will be the first established member to leave the group.  It came as a shock; sure, there had been a difficult period following the Taiwan incident when mainland Chinese trolls were invading her streams and spamming her chat (the community referred to these people as “antis”, hilariously,) but that had blown over, for the most part.  We knew there had been conflicts between her and Cover management over some of her more risque material - she was constantly pushing the boundaries of what was acceptable for an “idol”, or, frankly, for a female public figure of any kind in Japan - but she was so integral to the community, building bridges between the generations and the different language groups, refining and amplifying and in some cases inventing the running gags that were integral to the identities of so many of her colleagues, and, in general, working more hours than a human being should to make Hololive a success.   Burnout is of course a big deal with streamers but Coco so rarely let her fatigue come across, and it’s not even clear that that’s what happened here.  Coco is, most likely, going on to bigger and better things.

Except “Coco” isn’t.  

A Hololive vtuber is a weird gestalt entity, composed in part of the affectations and backstory and design created for the character and in part of the personality, real life and real history of the performer.   We know that Coco’s real mother is sick and had to go back to America for treatment, because Coco tells us what’s going in her life, except she says that Mama Dragon has to go far across the sea and Papa Dragon is staying home; this blending of reality and kayfabe (a term in general use among english-speaking Hololive fans, tellingly) reminds me of pro wrestling, where the best characters and storylines make use of real personalities and events and rivalries to give them their charge.  In Hololive as in WWE the company owns the character, but if a performer leaves WWE we know we will probably see them again soon enough.  They’ll be under a new name, but it’ll be the same person with the same face and the same moves and the same personality - maybe tweaked a little to avoid a lawsuit, but close.   With vtubers, though, it’s a different story.   There is a person called Kiryu Coco with a voice and a face and friends and a history and on July 1st there will be a big farewell concert streamed live over the internet and then that person will cease to exist.

And that’s weird, right?  I had enough of a parasocial relationship with this fake person that when I went to my discord to be sad about her imminent departure I had legitimately forgotten that she was a big titty anime dragon lady and that I was going to get roasted the second someone googled her.  She’s just Coco in my brain, and I know that the woman who performs that role isn’t actually about to be erased but part of me insists that I’m awaiting an execution.  That part of me - the part that had me writing “but what if cartoons were real and had feelings though” stories when I was in high school - is doing backflips about it.   I can’t figure out the meta here.  Does this entity have a soul?  Does it live in a certain streamer who also goes by KSON, or somewhere else?   Will it haunt the giant statue of Cover CEO Motoaki “Yagoo” Tanigo looking sad that Coco built in Minecraft as her last great contribution before her departure? 

Whatever she is and wherever she’s off to, she will be missed, and I will hear her cheerful “good morning, motherfuckers!” on the wind. 

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #199

Today on Fate and Phantasms we're making the Jotaro Kujo of FGO, Semiramis! (Seriously, how does that cape/hair... thing work? It's wild.) The queen of poisons is a Graviturgy Wizard to make building a floating castle slightly less difficult to make and cooler to live in, plus a Witherbloom Druid for some dove friends and extra poisons. If you've seen our builds for Waver and Edison, you might know already that building things with magic is costly and time-consuming, and for once that is 100% accurate to the character. Get ready, this is gonna be a weird one.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: I'm 40% appendicitis!

Race and Background

Semiramis is technically an aasimar, but she doesn't fly around or heal people, so we can just focus on her human side. .... Oooor we can focus on those ears, because we need to nick some stuff from being an Elf. Specifically, we're going with the Vahadar Elf from Plane Shift Kaladesh, since they've got the ears, the proficiencies we'll need later, and their backstory's still about living in general society, unlike wood elves and other Kaladeshian elves. Thanks to Tasha's Cauldron of Everything, this gives her +2 Intelligence and +1 Wisdom, as well as Darkvision, Fey Ancestry against being charmed, a Trance instead of sleep so she can't be put to sleep, Keen Senses for proficiency in Perception, the Mending cantrip to piece together the castle later, and most importantly Elf Weapon Training. Normally this would give her proficiency with four weapons, but thanks to Tasha's we can swap this out with four tools instead. Carpenter's, Glassblower's, Mason's, and Smith's Tools proficiency should give us everything we need to build a castle later- we'll go into the why when we get there.

Semiramis is also a Noble- grab History, but swap out Persuasion for Deception. Yeah, not even her background can escape how weird this build is.

Ability Scores

Poisoning skills come from Intelligence (I think. WotC are really nonspecific about how to actually fucking make poison), and it's also your main casting modifier: put that first. Second should be your Charisma, nobody drinks poison on purpose, so you'd better get good at lying. After that is Wisdom. If your poisons aren't made with Intelligence it'll definitely be wisdom. That means your Dexterity isn't great- yeah, you fight in a dress, but if you're fighting and not your lackeys, something's gone wrong. We're not dumping Constitution because we're not stupid, so dump Strength instead. You've got minions to carry rocks around for you.

Class Levels

Wizard 1: Starting as a wizard nets you the weakest hit die in the game, but it also gets you proficiency in Intelligence and Wisdom saves, plus the Arcana and Medicine skills. You're half caster, and if you want to ruin someone's bodily functions you have to know what those are first. Starting as a wizard also gets you Spells that you can cast and prepare using your Intelligence. You get six at first level and two each level after. That's a lot, so we're just going to over spells that are important for the build here, though there's a full list of what we'd get in the character sheet. For cantrips, grab Infestation and Poison Spray for poison damage. For once infestation is completely kosher as is, since Semiramis can summon any creature as long as its poisonous. Also, grab Message. Castle halls are big and echo-y, and it's probably not a good idea to shout at people to find out which glass they put the poison in. Aside from that, grab Mage Armor so you die less, Magic Missile for Assassin balls, and Tenser's Floating Disk to carry all the raw materials you'll be using later. Finally, you get an Arcane Recovery once per long rest, letting you recover a couple spell slots on a short rest. The total level you recover is equal to half your wizard level, rounded up.

Wizard 2: Going into second level of wizard gives you a school of magic, and it's hard to lift several tons of stone into the air if you're not into Graviturgy. When you take the subclass, you can Adjust Density as an action, doubling or halving a large or smaller creature/object's weight for up to a minute with concentration. If you reduce a creature's weight it'll increase their speed by 10', double their jump distance, and have disadvantage on strength saves and checks, and vice versa if you increase it. I checked, and stone is roughly 1,000 times denser than air, not 2, so we'll have to do some brewing later to make this work out. Make your strong minions stronger, your fast minions faster, or do the opposite for your enemies.

Wizard 3: Third level wizards get second level spells. You won't get any dragons in this build, sad to say, but you can use Dragon's Breath to turn just about anything into a dragon. They can even spit poison breath, which is really good with the poisoner's feat. Speaking of..

Wizard 4: First Ability Score Improvement of the build, so grab the Poisoner's Feat for more poisony goodness. All poison-based damage rolls you make ignore resistance, you can coat weapons as a bonus action, and you get proficiency in the poisoner's kit. You also learn a special poison that'll force a dc 14 constitution save on the creature you use it on, dealing 2d8 poison damage and poisoning them for a round.

Wizard 5: Fifth level wizards get third level spells. Animate Dead will help you make dragontooth warriors, a.k.a. skeletons. You can make one per casting right now, but you can recast the spell to retain control over up to three skeletons at once. Otherwise they'll be uncontrollable monsters, which is probably less of a goal.

Druid 1: Semiramis might be known for her poisons, but she's really a multifaceted person. Well, not really, but if you want poisons, you're going to get them from animals. If you want animals, you're going to get them from druids. First level druids learn Druidic- it's a language! They also get another set of Spellcasting using their Wisdom to cast and prepare spells. Check the multiclassing table to figure out your spell slots. Grab Guidance and Resistance to be a bit better than everyone else. For first level spells, look for Entangle and Snare to summon chains to slow down enemies, and Speak with Animals to make sure your dovey-woveys know their work is appreciated. We haven't gotten dovey-woveys yet? Don't worry, they're coming.

Druid 2: Second level druids join their circle, and you're so goddamn smart you just joined another school. At the college of Witherbloom, you'll learn how to turn the vitality of nature into deadly poisons. Right off the bat you get circle spells, which are always prepared for you and don't count against how many spells you can prepare. Right now you get the Spare the Dying cantrip as well as Cure and Inflict Wounds. Now you don't literally have to summon a whip every time you want to hit someone. You can also tap in creatures' essences with your Essence Tap. As a bonus action, you empower yourself for 1 minute, gaining one of two options. Overgrowth lets you heal yourself with a hit die each turn as a bonus action, adding your wisdom modifier to the amount healed. Withering Strike lets you change your damage to necrotic when you hit someone with any sort of damage, ignoring resistances to make your poisons even deadlier. You can use this proficiency times per long rest. Most importantly, you gain a Wild Shape / Wild Companion. Both features use the same two charges per short rest. You're limited to what you can turn into based on its CR and movement options, but those limits and how long you can transform/summon a creature for grows as you level up. Currently I'd stick with Wild Companion for dove familiars, but some versions of Semiramis' story include her turning into a dove herself at the end, so Wild Shape isn't out of the question. As long as we sink eight levels into druid, at least.

Druid 3: Third level druids get second level spells, like your freebies Lesser Restoration and Ray of Enfeeblement. Look, if you're going to make poisons it only makes sense that you'd have antidotes on hand. You can also grab spells like Animal Messenger to send your doves out for ingredients, and Locate Animals or Plants to find them yourself.

Wizard 6: Sixth level graviturgists can make a Gravity Well when you cast a spell, moving the target 5 feet in any direction if it is willing or you successfully hit it with the spell. Speaking of spells that push people, Pulse Wave does just that, stepping in for the big stompy dragon animation. Creatures in a 30' cone make a constitution save, and if they fail they'll take force damage and get pushed back 15', or 20' with Gravity Well. You can also pull them, but that's not really stompy at that point. You can also Summon Undead to create a stronger skeleton to lead the others.

Druid 4: At fourth level, druids can transform into swimming creatures, and you also get another ASI. Bump up your Intelligence for stronger spells. Also, grab the Control Fire cantrip, it'll be cold in your castle without it.

Druid 5: Fifth level druids get third level spells, like Revivify and Vampiric Touch. Neither of those are in character, but you can also Conjure Animals (as long as they're poisonous) and Dispel Magic to keep your throne room free of nonsense.

Wizard 7: Seventh level wizard get fourth level spells, including the one we've been working our way up to, Fabricate! As long as you have the raw materials, you can turn them into products of the same material. Since you're working with stone, you're limited to creating Medium objects this way. Just line the outside of the medium objects you make with halves of smaller objects, then mend them together, and eventually you'll have a castle. This will take a while. For a decent-sized castle of 300'x400', you'll be looking at roughly 480 medium-sized blocks per floor. At level 20 you'll have 12 spell slots of fourth level or higher, so you can knock out a floor in roughly 40 days, not including things like doors or other furniture. Also worth noting, you can't make fancy things like glass without proficiency in the tools required to make them normally, hence all the tool proficiencies from your racial bonuses.

Wizard 8: Use your next ASI to bump up your Wisdom for better healing and stronger druid spells. You also learn Mordenkainen's Private Sanctum, so you can prevent creatures from spying into your hanging gardens. Especially useful is the ability to block creatures from teleporting or plane shifting onto your grounds, as that's probably the only way to approach your gardens safely. Or at least it is after you learn Ice Storm, a long range spell that pelts enemies with ice and turns the area into difficult terrain. Of note, it doesn't say the ground, so the entire cylinder will be difficult to fly through. If you want to build giant arcane cannons instead for authenticity, I salute you. Just remember that'll have to come out of your budget.

Wizard 9: Ninth level wizards get fifth level spells, and Wall of Stone will help you speed up construction by making ten 10'x10' panels or ten 10'x20' panels. You can also use this spell to create bridges or the like, and if you hold concentration for 10 minutes the stone remains permanently. If you want to skimp on materials so you can just get this fucking thing in the air already, this'll help with that. You're also learning Geas. If you can't summon a dragon, forcibly controlling a dragon is the next best thing.

Druid 6: Did you think we were done with druid? I said we were stuck here for 8 levels, didn't I? Sixth level witherbloom druids can make a Witherbloom Brew thanks to their new proficiency with Herbalism kits. At the end of a long rest, you can use that kit to make Proficiency brews, which last for 24 hours. A Fortifying brew gives a creature resistance to a damage type chosen at brewing (cold, fire, necrotic, poison, or radiant) for an hour. A Quickening brew heals its drinker, and ends one disease or an effect of charming, frightening, paralyzation, poisoning, or stunning. Again, antidotes might be useful to have on hand, but the real reason we're here is for the Toxifying brew. You can apply the brew to a weapon, and the next time within an hour that weapon hits a creature, they take 2d6 poison damage and have to make a constituiton saving throw (DC 8 + your wisdom modifier + proficiency) or be poisoned for a minute. This is literally so much better than the poisoner feat what the hell.

Druid 7: Seventh level druids get fourth level spells, like Blight and Greater Restoration for stronger poisons and antidotes respectively. You can also Dominate Beast to hold any poisonous critters still while you milk them, or summon Giant Insects instead. They obey you and stay giant until they drop to 0 HP, dismiss the effect, the spell ends.

Druid 8: Our last level of druid finally lets you turn into a dove with a second Wild Shape Improvement. You also get another ASI, so bump up that Wisdom for stronger spells and poisons.

Wizard 10: Tenth level graviturgists can create a Violent Attraction between a creature's face and a weapon, causing a nearby weapon attack to deal an extra 1d10 damage. Alternatively, you can increase the attraction between a creature and the ground, adding 2d10. I doubt your hanging gardens need help making the fall more deadly, but now you can help out of need be. You can do this Intelligence modifier per long rest.

Wizard 11: Eleventh level wizards get sixth level spells, like Guards and Wards. This will make it so much harder for enemies to breach your castle it isn't even funny, if the "hanging out in the stratosphere" thing didn't tip them off already.

Wizard 12: By twentieth level you should have a castle set up, so grab the Lucky feat. Basically, everything that can go right for you does while you're in your castle, so now you get 3 luck points per long rest to make sure that happens, letting you re-roll your attacks, saves, and checks, as well as attacks aimed at you.

So how the fuck do I get a flying castle?

So, admittedly this is up to DM fiat, but let's be real, a flying castle sounds sick as hell and gathering resources is a great reason to go adventuring. If I was your DM, it'd go something like this; After x months of research, you find a way to prepare materials so Adjust Density is permanent on them if you concentrate for the duration. Then you make and fuse together castle chunks as described in level twelve, and eventually you lighten the load on the special rocks so much they're lighter than air. Boom, liftoff, you're fucking awesome now. If you want to go down, just make the float rocks heavier again.

Pros and Cons

Pros:

Even if you don't build a giant floating castle in your adventure, that doesn't mean all this prepwork went to waste. You are a master at protecting areas from invasion, so no matter where you lay your head you know it's going to be safe. Not as safe as a floating castle, but still, safe.

By mixing together all your tool proficiencies with Fabricate, you can make pretty much whatever you need from raw materials. No more paying a smithy for fancier armor!

If you do get your castle in the air or you're near a cliff, you are incredibly deadly, with plenty of ways to shove opponents around or otherwise control movement. Slow them down, trip them up, or shove them off a cliff it's so good. Pulse people off the edge of your garden and laugh at them as they fall.

Cons:

There's literally no rules about building your own castles & poisons, so most of this build is entirely dependent on your DM. If you get a cool one, cool! If you don't, this build is pretty much a writeoff.

You need to hide away in your castle and send out minions because you're kind of pathetic in person. With only 14 AC and less than 100 HP, you'll go down faster than Medb if you don't use your Wild Shapes well.

A lot of that can be chalked up to mixing caster classes, meaning we have to spend more ASIs to make both spell modifiers good, and we miss out on higher level spells. Also, spending 8 levels in druid just to turn into a dove isn't that great unless you really want the flavor. I highly recommend skipping out after 6, the last graviturgy effect is great both to knock people out of the sky and make them bow if they get to your throne room.

But, getting to your throne room is 90% of the fight. This build is one that emphasizes patience, and that's what puts you above the common folk. Hang out in the stratosphere, attend social events in style, and let your poisons and skeleton warriors do the fighting for you. Just be glad there aren't any wacky knights riding hippogryphs around.

[artsy-moonwalker]

Would you go into more details about your OC’s backstories?? They all look so cool 😆

I would love to! Thank you so much for this question :)

I'm going to focus distinctly on their childhood for these descriptions.

(mentions of drug addiciton, war, and violence)

Before I get into their backstories, it is important to address their environmental situation for context.

In their childhood, there was a civil war going on within America. This is a fictional war, of course, taking place in the early 2000s. Lenis, Everest, Flint, and Darryon all have their parts to play, and the war affects the four in different ways. While Lenis, Everest, and Flint are trying to escape war from their hometown and cross the country, Darryon and his siblings are attending shelters and risk their lives trying to help in any way they can.

So now that we have some context of their biggest childhood dilemma, let's get into the four individually. I won't go into complete detail to avoid any spoilers I'd like to share later on, but I will dive into their personalities and importance. I don't know how long this post will be, but I'll try to keep it as short as I can.

Lenis, 13 years old - tall, blond, a bit tan, a distinct scar on his left jaw, brown eyes

Lenis lives in a small town in Ohio. It's a bit run down, and his house is in bad shape. Considering his family is lower class, he doesn't have much money to spend, and he gets by with what he has. He lives with his two strict parents, him being an only child. But he takes care of a stray cat that lives in a forest behind his home that he calls "Otter." Whenever he tries to get the cat to stay in the house, his parents don't allow it. They can't exactly afford to take care of an animal, especially when they have to pay for his monthly medication and doctor visits.

He has a bone condition where his bones are incredibly fragile. He can't walk for very long, and running is even worse on him. It doesn't take a lot of force to break a bone either, and he's had to visit the doctor numerous times for fractures and snaps. So he has a medication that helps him not feel the aching as much, and allows him to walk or run for a time. He is in no way a strong person. His physical strength is constantly challenged and he feels like a burden to those he loves whenever they have to make sacrifices to just to help him. Especially when it comes to his best friend, Everest.

He is always being protected by Everest. He's taken multiple punches for him, he has to carry him sometimes, he can't do a lot of outdoor activities with him due to how easy it is to get injured. Lenis hates this. He hates being held back and he hates that his best friend has to be held back too because of it. He often tells Everest that he can do things himself, but that ends with him getting hurt more than not.

Lenis really is a grateful and humble soul. He tries to find the good in every situation no matter how painful it can be. This is especially apparent for his friends. If anything is troubling them, he will do what he can to get them through it. His optimism was a lot more prominent when he was a child, though. After escaping war, he finds it difficult to find the good in bad situations. But that doesn't mean he won't try to. It's safe to say the light in his eyes are faded as he grew older.

Everest, 13 years old - short, red head, blue eyes

This is Lenis' best friend, that's how everyone at his school titles him. Because he is constantly by his side more than he is alone. He knew Lenis since he was a toddler due to their mothers being friends, and ever since then, Lenis would nickname him "Evvy." Everest was always like a brother to him. He was incredibly protective and would often put Lenis before him.

Emotions and Everest don't exactly work well together. He tends to be reserved. Cold and bitter, even. If he's showing any extreme emotion, it tends to be anger or frustration. But he has a soft spot for Lenis. He's really one of the only people around him that can make him smile. Other than his mom, of course, who he lives with down the street from Lenis. His mother was pregnant before he left home; his father having left after a short and abrupt divorce. Little information was given to him about why that occurred. But his mom was happier, and that's what he wanted. He was never close with his father anyway.

Everest knows that his protectiveness over his friends, especially Lenis, can be a fault at times. He's gotten hurt many times due to it, both mentally and physically. And it isn't even because his friends are defenseless. He knows they can protect themselves if they need to, but he cannot help himself. He can't let them get hurt if he can stop it. He speaks bluntly, and his words may go over a few lines, or he may be prone to starting arguments, but he is incredibly selfless. He means well in every action he takes despite all of that.

Flint, 12 years old - short, black buzz cut, large dark eyes

Flint is a troubled child to say the least. He's callous towards others, he seems to only care about himself, and he isn't afraid to use force and threaten violence. He was Lenis' biggest bully after ending his friendship with him in a desperate fit to steal his pain medicine. Yes, Lenis and him were friends before that. And Flint truly wanted to continue the friendship, but he needed those pills. Lenis wasn't going to just give them to him. So he had to resort to violence, thus harming Lenis, and regretting it later.

It's easy to think that maybe Flint had a drug addiction, and stole Lenis' pills because of that. But that isn't the case at all. It wasn't because of an addiction, it was for a much deeper reason.

His younger sister, Penny, was facing a horrible sickness that was going to kill her if she didn't get the right treatments. His mother, being constantly intoxicated with alcohol, spent all of her money on things she didn't need. So she couldn't afford Penny to have any treatment at all. Flint, who has been basically raising his little sister, decided to take matters into his own hands, and find any possible way to make her feel better. Even if it meant harming Lenis for some pills.

Flint loves his sister more than anyone. Or loved, at least. She unfortunately didn't make it long after the pain medicine incident.

He wants to be good, he really does. But Flint is difficult to get along with. Especially with Everest. Much like the red head, Flint has a short temper, and they always fight with each other. But also like Everest, he has a soft spot for Lenis (he is sort of like the peacemaker of the group). Flint is incredibly emotional, and he always says what's on his mind, even if they're not so nice things. He feels regretful for a lot of things, though. He's trying to be a better person, and befriending Lenis again is something he is determined to do.

Darryon, 12 years old - Average height, black curly hair, dark eyes, has an intense burn scar along his face

Darryon lives in California with his siblings, and only his siblings. His parents died in a car crash while they were on their way home from a relative's house. The war was breaking out, and they were caught up in it at the worst possible time. Darryon's oldest brother was a soldier in the war, and his oldest sister was her younger siblings' guardian while he was gone. He has five siblings, not counting himself. Three girls and two boys. And he is very close with each of them, especially his oldest sister, Carlitha. She followed shelters, and he did the same. For a long time, she was concerned for his wellbeing considering just how dangerous a job like this was. They were always venturing in war zones and had to face many hardships. But even at a young age, Darryon wanted to be part of something bigger than himself. His parents' death were a big motivator in his efforts, and he found that helping others get through the war was an effective coping mechanism.

He didn't go through these hardships without consequences, though. On one occasion, a shelter he was attending got bombed, and he was caught in the flames, leaving the brutal burn marks you see on him now. These marks filled the mouths of the other kids at his school when he tried going back. But how can anyone go back to a normal life after that? Luckily he had a good group of friends to back him up during his good and hard nights.

He has a very distinct sense of humor, and finds it easy to entertain himself when no one is around. Some of the kids at his school think he's weird because of his behavior at times. He talks to himself out loud, he has a funny laugh, he has a few imaginary friends (one stays with him even in his adulthood), etc. But he embraces those things more than anything, and his friends don't care, so why should he?

When he isn't helping at a shelter, he finds time for himself or his family. For example, he's very fascinated with nature, and enjoys drawing what he sees around him in a sketchbook. He's pretty good at it too. What started as drawings of birds or gardens soon turned into drawings of burnt landscapes and debris of towns. He liked to draw the people he would meet in shelters as well, and he kept every drawing, not knowing if that person survived after they parted ways or not.

Darryon's story does collide with the others at some point. He and his sister go to great lengths around the country, of course they're going to befriend Lenis, Everest, and Flint at some point, and it will certainly stay that way.

If you read this far, thank you! I really hope this little introduction to them has intrigued you, and if not, that's okay too :) I want to share more about them later on, and I plan to write out chapters to get the full story soon as well. I've been working on this story for more than a year now in private, and I'm really having fun, so I'm excited to share it with you. Thank you again!

[normal-thoughts-official]

Ur take on a malec beauty and the beast au please

ugh you got me in a difficult position here because on the one hand, i do love the idea of a beauty and the beast malec au. i just think the idea of a socially isolated person who thinks themself/is perceived as monstruous and who has locked away their heart and doesn't believe they could ever be loved fits magnus like a glove. but on the other hand, i don't want to make magnus, a brown character, animalistic, for obvious reasons. and i can't really think of a way to make him monstruous that doesn't fall into animalization/beastification (both racist tropes) or ableist tropes

so i'm thinking... maybe the spell is just that people are repulsed by him/fear him automatically? like it just creates this horrible almost impossible to ignore repulsive/fear/"fight or flight activating" aura around him for absolutely no reason and makes ppl be repulsed and/or hate him. even if it doesn't change his appearance at all. it's not really a changing or shifting spell, more like a spell of hatred

which like.... i know doesn't sound like anything poc/queer people don't already go through but there is a main difference which is that it makes it impossible to find a community. like even other brown and queer people look at him and feel this... huge disgust and even fear and might even hide and so the isolation is absolutely total and it fucking hurts. and besides it is one thing (a very bad thing) to walk around and have to be on constant alert because you never know if someone is going to be violent, and have to deal with occasional comments and disgusted reactions... it's another to consistently have like, children screaming and people cowering 100% of the time without exception, you know? he's basically living the life ppl with social anxiety think they live and he has nowhere to turn to, no one who understands or who's more likely to actually want to talk to him because of his differences. there's no one to lean on. even the people who love him aren't immune to it, even if of course they are not turning their backs on him

so anyway here are my thoughts: this was totally done by camille lol beacuse the whole backstory about being mean to an elderly lady doesn't fit magnus anyway and also i just like sprinkling camille angst where i can. so after magnus finally got himself free of her and her stupid claws she hexxed him back into isolation. both as punishment (a kinda "if you don't want me, then you have no one" logic) and just to make him more vulnerable because again, abusers want you alone and isolated and away from a support network so you are more dependant on them and more likely to buy into their thwarped logic if they can immerse you in it. so she's just trying to manipulate him into getting back with her, because she wants him and most of all his power

and basically you know the drill, if he doesn't find anyone who will love him romantically until the rose withers yada yada he will die. and again she just wants to make the spell so it constantly drives home how alone he is and how he can't find anyone who will love him (except for her), and make it so he's more and more likely to come back to her as time goes by because then the spell will be broken

(sidenote: camille obviously doesn't actually love him, because anyone who does that to someone doesn't love them. but as the one who cast the spell, she can lift it whenever she wants. so all she has to do is kiss him and lift the spell and be like "see, magnus? who else would love you like this, but me? even after all these years?". and honestly if it had come to that magnus would know she was lying because there is no way this is love, none. but anyway it doesn't come to that, that's just what her plan is)

anyway it still doesn't work because magnus is done and he won't get back to her, and he particularly doesn't want to get back with her after, you know, all this trashfire. and he just sets his jaw and is like "fine" and accepts that he will live however long he still has with his friends and people he loves and away from her, basically

and like gosh sidenote but this would have been so painful for his friends. camille very deliberately made it romantic love because she knows magnus has so many fucking people who love him, but him and the immortal squad have found family dynamics, not romantic ones. so there is nothing they can do even though their love for magnus is just... so real and pure and they hate to see him like this, hate to know that right when he finally got rid of her she made sure he still couldn't go out in the world. especially since magnus has always been so damn sociable, loved to be surrounded by people and to meet them and care for them. but here he is, walking as hidden as he can and with his head down avoiding eye contact because he knows the horror is there and some children run away screaming when they see him

and i just picture this desperate little scene with raphael in particular where he's just like.... "i'll try to kiss you. we have to try" and magnus is all, "my boy, you don't even like kissing, and she was very adamant that it had to be romantic" and raphael is almost in tears like "but i do love you, goddamn it! i should be able to undo this spell" and it's so sweet that he's trying and willing to be in this really awkward position where he kisses (yikes) magnus (which is just weird especially since magnus is kind of a father figure to him) because he's just... so desperate to have him free of her, finally, once and for all, you know?

but obviously it doesn't work, not even with dot, who had a kinda fling with him in the past but doesn't really feel Romantic Love™ for him even though she does love him, it's just... not what the spell requires. and it's unfair as hell and there are lots of tears but just the fact that magnus falls asleep surrounded in a teary cuddle pile after some of the absolute worst kisses of his life because his friends/family love him enough to put themselves in such an uncomfortable position in the hopes of making him free, is enough to make him feel a little better. and the fact that they are still there for him and obviously still love him so fiercely even though looking at him now literally evokes fight or flight instincts in them is already more than anything camille could ever give him. if anything, she's proven how loved magnus is

and that helps him get through it that day and is something he tries to hold unto in the worst days, but still, it's hard and it just... sucks. it's tiring to go out in the street and always have people staring at you and to see the horror in their faces and be so isolated and never really know what might happen, if he will be attacked or harrassed or what exactly will happen. so he isolates himself more and more and soon the only people who ever see him or visit him are his friends. and fuck, do they hate seeing him like this

things settle in a weird kind of way. magnus is still living his life and working as a wizard and etc and in a way the spell even helps him have some more credibility because you know, isolated scary person is kinda what ppl expect from wizards. but he avoids having contact at all costs and mostly sends the potions they request and stuff their way, and the only ppl he sees are his friends unless he absolutely can't avoid going outside. and he's fucking miserable. and every once in a while camille will come back to be like "so, magnus, are you ready to stop with this little tantrum of yours and come back to me now? how is the rose doing, by the way?" because god forbid he catches a break

also it turns out that magnus' adoptive streak becomes even stronger because he is 1- extra lonely; and 2- empathizing more than ever with the outcasts. don't get me wrong, he always has, he's a fucking brown, bi trans man for fuck's sake. we all see ourselves in the stray dogs and lonely people one way or another. but now this is turned up to a thousand, so, you know

so he has one (1) extra kind of contact in his life which is basically with stray animals (particularly cats cuz u know, this is magnus) that he finds around in need of help. they can all leave if they want, but a lot of them stay, particularly the black cats, disabled animals, and others that have a particularly hostile environment outside. you know

(not me again with my very specific hcs about deaf pitbulls who fall in love with my faves but LOOK pitbulls are very sweet and caring animals who don't deserve the fame of monsters that they have and if the idea of one being best friend's with magnus and them having a loving and caring relationship doesn't appeal to you then idk what the fuck to tell you)

this of course doesn't help his image cuz this guy is just going there and collecting black cats and snakes and has a huge pitbull around with him at all times but it's not like it can get any worse so magnus doesn't care, and besides, he can't just leave them out to die in the cold and harrassment of middle ages white ppl who think black cats are the worst possible thing but rats carrying deadly diseases are fine (and look, i know rats are also animals that get a lot of shit and persecution, but like, seriously, clean the streets)

and every once in a while there will be a person in need too, like a homeless person in need of a place to stay or some sick person who has been abandoned or something of the sort, so magnus brings them in as well and cares for them as well as he can, but also tries to maintain minimal contact because he's been burned too many times, okay

so like, cue alec! i know in the original BATB belle ended up with the beast to save her father's life but fuck that. i lowkey consider making it "izzy ran away from home so alec comes after her and they both end up staying with magnus" but i think i like it better if it's just alec who decided to leave. like he's done with the abuse both towards him and his sister and he wants to be able to live his life even if he's gonna have to start over in some other village all alone. anywhere but here and all that

and of course alec used to be plenty rich and he has a lot of skills that help him pass by - he's a good archer and hunter, he's a good leader and organizer so he could do wonders for a failing business, he's smart and cunning - but he also has, like, 2 gold coins to his name. maybe some more from stuff he took from home and sold, but still

initially he is living at a tavern and i guess i'm making simon, raphael, and maia tavern owners again! i don't even care anymore, it suits them. rapha is the cook and the three of them run the business and simon also makes musical appearances during dinners every once in a while, and they are living the happy queer polyamorous life of their dreams. we have no choice but to stan

anyway alec is staying with them and he becomes friends with i think maia in particular since, you know, she is the one with the most contact with the customers since rapha is in the kitchen and simon is up the stage most of the time. plus they are both the same brand of bastard and they have an easy understanding between them that just works

and look! simon, raphael, and maia are 3 trans, non-christian/non-white (unnecessary addendum: the concept of whiteness didn't exist until around the 17th century, but whiteness as a concept came basically as a substitute for christianity [link to source], so i'm counting the fact that simon is jewish and raphael and maia are not culturally european as equivalent to non-whiteness in this context) people, so it's not like they would ever kick a gay man running from an abusive home out. but you know what they also are? magnus' friends. and after a while of talking to him maia thinks he is trustworthy enough for them to send magnus' way, because magnus needs as many friends as possible. plus, he wouldn't kick a person in need out, so unlike with them magnus can't really push this newcomer away so he'd have more company. plus, the possibility that he might fall in love with magnus and undo the stupid spell is there, i'm just saying! i'm not saying it WILL happen but why not give it a fucking shot?

raphael in particular is of course super protective of magnus and he swears to god that if this guy gives him half a bad look raphael will end him, which earns him some pats on the shoulder for his troubles and "rapha, we don't want magnus to be hurt either"s. maia says that she's been assessing him for quite a while now and she's pretty positive that he won't be terrible to magnus, but if she's wrong, she'll kill him personally too. and rapha trusts maia. how could he not? she's maia

so, they send alec magnus' way. "i'm sorry alec, but we are struggling to make ends meet *hides gigantic gold stash* and the tavern is packed *raphael upstairs stomps at maximum speed to make it seem like their 13 empty rooms upstairs actually have people* and we really need your room to give to this customer *simon in a wig* BUT we have a friend who we're sure will give you shelter if you ask, it's not very far away, and once we have a free room we will let you know". and alec is just like, okay, because he's been staying there for free or considerably less than the usual fee/in exchange for some stuff he hunts for quite a while now, and they are nice, so it's not like he can complain

and they don't tell him about the spell exactly because it is not their story to tell but they do let him know what to expect re: magnus' vibes and say it's a spell. and alec's like ok i guess. alec's very practical, he doesn't really care, and it's not like it's the guy's fault anyway. which is exactly why maia is sending alec there

so they send magnus a heads up ("magnus this guy is HOMELESS and we are SOOOOO packed can you please give him shelter for a little while thx xoxo"). alec arrives there a while later carrying like 3 prime rabbits he has hunted as a thank you gift because he hates being dependant on people but it's not like jobs abound in the middle ages, and he is actually a little embarrassed to go in and ask this guy he doesn't know for shelter but he IS kinda desperate. for now

anyway he is standing there with his 3 rabbits debating whether or not to knock on the door and magnus just opens it magically like "i know you're there, dear, just come in" so alec does and awkwardly presents him the rabbits and shit and is all "thanks for letting me stay, uh. i can help you with food and taking care of the house and stuff" even though, you know, magnus has magic and doesn't need it

(and magnus appreciates it deeply, because it is tiring to do it all magically on his own but most non-magical people don't even consider that)

and like... it is very awkward at first because magnus does NOT trust at all and he mostly just wants to keep away from anyone who can... look at him. but they ARE living together (oh my god they were roommates!! just kidding they each have their own room but you get it) so it's inevitable. but like magnus' insecurity makes him keep to himself for long times and makes things awkward, kinda like how the initial days with the beast and belle the beast was rude and kinda shitty except magnus is not shitty, just... private

and maybe the subject even comes up like "thanks for the meal alec. i'll go eat it in my room" "i mean, you could eat here if you want" "and ruin your appetite? no thank you" and alec is just like "*shrug* it won't ruin my appetite. unless you are my parents, the concept of failure, or some girl wanting me to marry her, i don't think there's a lot the spell can do to make me scared. besides, you literally have a kitten on top of your head right now and you refuse to remove it and are using a spell to keep her from jostling when you move" "her name is Fluffy, and she is sleeping!" "right, my bad" "wait did you say the concept of failure?" "yea"

it's not that the spell doesn't work on alec; it does, just like it works on his friends. but he is willing to go beyond that initial repulsive reaction that he knows is illogical anyway (and alec is the kind of guy who is just like "if my feelings aren't logical, i don't listen to them" which in this case is useful lmao). and the thing is that once you get to know magnus there is nothing about him that is scary, and the feeling just becomes completely ignorable, because humans are nothing if not adaptable. but most people don't want to go through the trouble to try, and magnus himself doesn't want to let himself be vulnerable enough to give them a chance because there IS a great chance that he will be met with some level of aggression, even if it's an unintentional microaggression

and eventually they grow closer and build trust. i think this happens particularly when camille steps in for one of her regularly schedule shoving-it-in-magnus'-face visits and alec is just like. "hey why don't you just use magic to keep her away?" and magnus realizes that he never even THOUGHT of that and like, jesus, how much has he been unconsciously torturing himself? so he does it, and he ends up telling alec about the story of the spell, which might be the first time he's told someone that didn't know him before the spell was cast

(alec: "so she's basically just killing you slowly?" magnus: "don't be silly, alexander. torturing me first is the most important part". and he sounds self deprecating and almost resigned and god alec feels murderous)

ohh but wait bonus: magnus says that she will only undo the spell if he gets back with her, he doesn't mention that it technically can be undone by romantic love or whatever bullshit's going on because he doesn't believe it can happen anyway, so, who cares

anyway! time goes by. fun fact: alec and magnus get along really fucking well. magnus is so so smart and knowledgeable and he shows alec many of his inventions that never got to see the light of day or that were stolen by someone else who wasn't cursed and took all the credit. he also fascinates alec with his magic, but mostly with his personality. there's something just endlessly endearing about this guy who is so fucking proud of his puns and so so nice and gentle to every creature he encounters, be it a kitten or a pitbull, who's letting alec stay with him for no reason other than that alec needs it

and alec is so goddamn appreciative of it because like he IS and we stan! and he's always trying to give back to magnus which is kind of a rarity, but most of all he's also extremely funny beneath the whole no-bullshit attitude, he's caring and fierce and resourceful and strong (so's magnus) and they click so well. they can also talk about their similar experiences with like, abuse and trauma without making it super heavy and they're just,,, so supportive of each other. so like yeah surprise surprise they fall in love

but they don't really say anything because (on magnus' part) that's just fucking ridiculous, he's a monster; and (on alec's part) he will put magnus is a way too uncomfortable position if magnus doesn't like him that way and they will just... be living together. and magnus will feel like he has to compensate to alec somehow and alec doesn't want that. it's just complicated when one of them is dependant on the other, and besides, alec has had very little to offer magnus so far

(no, he has no idea how much his company means to magnus and has brighted his depressed ass life. he is stupid)

sometimes magnus' friends visit and they're always just so happy for him, to see how he's hanging out more and let someone into his life after so long. it earns him a lot of forehead kisses and "i'm so happy to see you like this". and over time he starts to invite them over more as well as just open up back to the people in his life :')

angsty but also kind of fluffy sidenote: i picture that every time they kiss his forehead or cheek or whatever they linger for a little while and then open their eyes slowly and sigh like "i had been hoping that it would work this time. magnus, you know i love you, right?" and magnus is all like "i know just from you saying that, darling. it's just not how the spell works" and aaa

and like to be extra clear im not saying that alec fixes him or romantic love heals him or whatever, just that having let someone in, someone who didn't know him before the spell, and have them completely accept him and realize how much he had been missing out re: touch and human contact helps him realize how much he misses his friends and how pushing them away is stupid when they've never been anything if not supportive of him. they don't care that he's cursed. and obviously magnus was already on the way to that if he even managed to let alec in anyway

anyway! dramatic healing scene. LOOK. usually i'd be all for "they don't change back actually because people don't have to look beautiful to be lovable". like the original BATB disappointed me sooo badly because i had just been hoping that he'd stay the same way and still be loved. but in this case it's not that magnus doesn't look beautiful! it's that the spell has made him be hated by people for no reason other than existing. and breaking the spell is not changing magnus himself, it's changing that hatred. so, yeah. i'm not saying it's a deep metaphor or anything, just, you know daudhasdja it's different from the usual monster thing

and i'm torn here because on the one hand i LOVE the drama of the original BATB where everyone decides to gather to kill the beast and belle saves him and shit, but idk if it fits with the vibe ive been building here. no actually @ me shut the fuck up. you know how i mentioned that they kick camille out with magic finally? i actually had no intentions of following through with this in any way but like of COURSE she would be absolutely pissed out of her mind and want to get back in some way, we already know she's vindictive. so i'm gonna use that. this is what neil gailman meant when he said that writing is just making a rough draft and then writing it again but like it's on purpose this time

anyway! so after they yeet her camille is obviously furious and fuming and it might have finally dawned on her that magnus will NOT fucking cave and she is losing power over him, not gaining it. so she decides to play a last card and get him to almost die so he kind of HAS to take her bid, you know? so she makes up some shit about how magnus has kidnapped the lightwood heir and she's only now hearing about it, and no one else is safe and yada yada. and she has "proof" because alec IS indeed there and again the spell just helps everyone easily agree with her that magnus is That Kind Of Guy or whatever, and middle ages ppl weren't exactly waiting for a good enough reason to grab their pitchforks. and they don't even KNOW about the spell, really. all they know is that he's very powerful, secluded, and they all fear and almost hate him just from one look

so camille makes up some bullshit story about how he made a deal with the devil to become extra powerful, and that the source of his powers is the rose, so they have to get rid of the rose to kill him. (sidenote: i never understood why the hell the rose was never used as a weakness against the beast. like was he keeping it super guarded and safe just for the fucking shits?) so they devise an attack so someone can sneak up and get the rose, and camille makes up some bullshit story about how they have to destroy the rose a specific way so it takes longer and she has time to manipulate magnus before he dies. man, it's easy to be a villain when your target is secluded

anyway! big attack at magnus' house. magnus' friends don't hear about it until it's too late because camille knows exactly who they are and warned them that they were on "the witch's" side. alec is maybe away hunting when it happens? camille obviously has magic in this AU so she can check for that information. maybe she even says that she will be the one responsible for finding the lightwood heir so there is minimal risk of him revealing that she lied lmao

oh no, violence! they battle and yada yada. catarina is probably the first one to realize what is happening because i figure she, madzie, and dot are the ones who live closest to magnus'. they send fire messages and get ragnor, simon, maia, raphael, and meliorn to help. oh yeah, and alec i genuinely forgot trust me to forget about romance in a romance-focused au. but alec is the only one of them without any magical resources and he's far away and on foot, so he's gonna be the last to get there, which camille had been counting on

but alec or no alec, they can keep the attackers at bay because they're all powerful and smart and shit and a lot of them have magic as opposed to the mundanes who don't, but of course that's mostly because they are holding off on attacking and the invasion is mostly a distraction because their PLAN is to use the rose. and camille tells them all to leave once the petal puckering starts so she can "protect them from any lashouts" (have her big villain speech). and it's not like any of magnus' friends is gonna leave to go after them when magnus is dying, bUT they also won't attack camille because she's his only hope. and they won't be able to get to stop the rose plucking in time because that's in another room and while she made it slower than something that the person can use to kill him in a second it's also not slow enough for them to get there on time (maybe there's a spell against magic use near where magnus keeps the rose? just for extra safety, so the ones with magic can't portal there or whatever)

anyway. big villain speech. magnus screams in pain every time a new petal is plucked. his friends are either running to the rose thing desperately or trying to get camille to stop this madness, she's going to kill him for fuck's sake. i don't know which chooses to do what so you can figure that out i guess. and for that extra drama, right when the last petal was going to be plucked, wee woo alec lightwood arrives! and he went straight for the rose because magnus had told him about it and he figured that there was a good chance the attackers might go for it. so he shoots the person's leg or something and gets them away from the rose and yay, day saved! mostly. because now there is only one petal left to fall before magnus dies, so at the very least, his lifespan has been shortened considerably. also, he is still in pain

i'm torn about what happens to camille then. on the one hand, i love killing camille! bonding activities for the whole family. on the other, she kinda is the only one who can save him now. they all know magnus won't want to get back with her, but hey, it's not like camille wants a relationship! she wants magnus to be her asset. a relationship was just the best way to get him to do that she had initially. but magnus doesn't want to cave and be dependant of her, so, you know. but maybe they can try to convince her to stop this fucking madness, god knows how

so okay yeah no camille-killing yet because they don't want to jeopardize magnus' safety, so she just leaves convinced that either way, she wins, and this might be the best possible scenario actually because magnus will have lots of times to think it over and be real desperate and come to her and strike a deal. so, yay her! she just needs to lie to the mundanes that the mission was successful or whatever, and it's not like that's gonna be hard because magnus won't want to be seen there again, so

we are all running to check up on magnus now. he's kinda like, on the ground coughing blood, but he'll live for as long as the last rose doesn't fall. still, they all settle on trying to help him, getting him in bed, tending to his wounds, etc. and thinking about what the fuck they are all going to do now. so you have raphael and maia making magnus soup, simon running his mouth as he throws around ideas on how they can fix this, ragnor, cat, dot, and madzie (who is here now that the danger is over ofc) checking and rechecking magnus' vitals for the billionth time and trying to figure out how much time they have, meliorn using their fae powers to stop his pain. and madzie is all snuggled in bed with magnus holding his hand and asking if he wants her to tell him a bedtime story, and magnus just... feels cared for and loved

alec meanwhile i think would tell what ACTUALLY happened to the person who was doing the rose thing - i actually have thought about it and think it might make sense for it to be luke. just because i love him and it kinda fits the whole "initially sided with shadowhunters, lately became a downworlder" thing. and like luke genuinely believed he was saving a person/people so alec brings him in too and magnus is all "catarina, dear, can you help heal his leg? i would, but i don't think i have enough magic right now" because he is the sweetest man immediately wanting to help the guy who almost killed him. and luke is in awe

(and alec brings him on purpose, too, because he knows that anyone who actually talks to magnus for a little while will see what an amazing person he is. and he hopes that luke, as a mundane, can tell the others that and turn them against camille)

and after that, of course, alec sits down by magnus' side and Does Not Leave. he's just there holding his hand and talking to him and magnus' friends, who are all also kind of. sitting there, trying to snuggle up in a gigantic pile of like 10 ppl to cuddle close to magnus and make sure he feels loved and cared for and that they know he is real. madzie gets special privileges in that sense because she's smaller and also a kid, so she gets to be kinda snuggled up with him. so alec has to be content with holding magnus' hand lmao (which he is, he's just happy that he's alive and okay. and he has a whole plan to get camille to undo the spell, mostly involving getting the mundanes against her and telling her that she is only safe for as long as magnus lives, because once he dies, she will have a bunch of ppl who will hunt her down to the faces of the earth to make her pay for what she did to him. the only reason they didn't do that yet is because she can still save magnus' live, so is she really going to let him die knowing that she will be next?)

so alec takes his hand and tells magnus that they will fix this, he promises, and give a little kiss on magnus' hand. just a little peck, no deep intentions, but magnus gasps a little because he feels something, and his eyes water a little bit because he's so touch starved and tired and hurt and alec kissed his hand and he can feel this kind of ache inside him, somehow a good ache, but he just can't explain it. and so alec notices his watery eyes and he very tenderly wipes his tears away and tells him that they're all on his side, will always be, and kisses him on the forehead. and this kiss? this kiss is full of adoration and love and purpose, and magnus gasps and the wounds that hadn't been healed suddenly mend together, and the petals that had fallen go back to the rose before it disappears in a beautiful flash of light, and suddenly magnus' magic is back full force and he just looks at himself for a second, and everyone erupts into joy because holy shit, the spell is broken

and alec is so confused because again! he didn't kNOW about the whole true love's kiss thing or he would have asked magnus to let him kiss him as soon as he learnt about his feelings, because even if magnus didn't feel the same way, alec could undo the spell. and he's like "why the hell didn't you tell me?? we could have fixed this months ago" and magnus is like "i didn't think it would make a difference. wait, you're in love with me? have been for months?" and alec is like "first of all, yes. second of all, i have nothing else to say, i just said 'first of all' because i was so indignant"

and magnus laughs and jumps on him and kisses him on the mouth this time and they are both smiling and laughing into it and so so happy. and raphael is kind of just peppering kisses on maia's face too, like, "you were right, he undid the spell, thank you" and maia was never sure that this would happen but she will take the credit actually please and thank you

and they all live happily ever after and kill camille together the end i guess. god this post was so long i'm so sorry

[galloperthompson]

Regarding Galloper Thompson’s clothes

Including his (slutty, thigh high) boots

It’s been brought to my attention that galloper’s slutty thigh high boots actually look like ankle boots with the thigh high part tucked into the boot. So I’ve decided to go beyond my jokes about him being a slut anyways and make this post going over his clothes. And buckle up folks, it gets long.

I’ll be honest, it’s pretty difficult to find details about 13th century (and 12th century) Scandinavian life specifically, especially since I’m using google. For this post, I have just used general European fashion, but in the future I’ll be mixing viking things with general European things from this time (but I’ll mostly try to keep the general European things to German and English/Irish stuff). I’ll also be referencing things from both the 13th century and the 12th century, since galloper “lived” during the early 13th century (and every website seems to think the 13th century started in 1250).

But anyways, an English knight from the mid 13th century apparently wore something like this on his bottom half (underneath other layers):

Now as you can see in this terrible quality picture (sorry about that, but I did try to label it), the hose are thigh high just like galloper’s leg coverings, which is what gave me the idea that maybe it’s hose he’s wearing. So let’s begin.

I would explain the whole system they used, but this does it better than I could (you only need to read until it starts talking about chausses since we’re only talking about the hose). The linked text is a bit weird and may (or may not) be unreliable, but it’s compact, explains things well, and has pictures (it’s where I got that *stunning* photo I labeled). However, keep in mind that it depicts a mid 13th century English knight, and galloper is from early 13th century Scandinavia, so while there may be similarities, there’s also definitely differences in how he would’ve dressed. Braies were apparently longer in the first half of the 13th century, for one, and didn’t really become “underwear” for everyone until the second half and later. Hose were also referred to as stockings, and apparently hose and stockings didn’t really refer to different things until later on. Additionally, clothing differed between class, but we’re not going to go over that today.

So how does this relate to galloper? Well his lower half actually sort of resembles the picture above, doesn’t it? His “hose” are thigh high, with ankle high shoes over them, just like the picture. Despite the similarities, though, there are differences. His “hose” aren’t pointed, and so there are no ties for them. Apparently, hose didn’t have to be pointed, and those thigh high hose that weren’t pointed were held up with pins.. but there are no pins to hold them up either. Without one of these mechanisms to hold up the hose, they would not stay in place. And considering we can see where the thigh high part ends, we should also be able to see at least part of what’s holding them up. The thigh high part could also theoretically be “leg bandages” that extend above the knee. However, his “hose” don’t look like wrapped or crisscrossed cloth, they look solid, so leg bandages are unlikely.

Now, I wanted to present hose as an explanation based (somewhat) in history, but I don’t actually think he’s wearing hose. We’ll go over why later in this post, but let’s keep going for now.

On to his tunic and coat. Well I say tunic, really it isn’t a tunic by medieval standards. Back in the 13th century, tunics didn’t have buttons—at least not on the front. And his coat.. well it’s not something you’d find in the 13th century. Longer coverings, down to the knee or lower, were the style then. Shorter coverings with buttons down the front didn’t appear until the 14th century in the form of things like doublets. Those “things” were usually very padded and form-fitting, however, and neither galloper’s shirt or coat seem to be padded or exceedingly form-fitting at all.

The history of gloves (in everyday wear, at least) is surprisingly complex, so I won’t be touching his gloves. I’m also ignoring his belt because I don’t have much to say on it, but they did have leather belts with “single-looped” buckles (whatever that means) in the 12th and 13th centuries.

Moving on to his cape. Ah yes, his tattered little cape (which matches his mare’s tattered little saddle blanket!). Who knows why the fuck he wears it. There doesn’t seem to be a hood (like the medieval chaperon) or a part that comes around to cover the shoulders, and it’s too short to be a cloak. My best guess is that it was a design choice based on the fact that such a short cape doesn’t need a fluttering animation. Why not axe (lol) the whole idea of a cape? Well, all the coolest characters have capes!

His weird ass shoulder pad I can’t come up with an explanation for, though (or at least a medieval one). If he had a neck, the shoulder pad would be digging into it based on the position. Maybe it’s supposed to be like those shoulder pads with tassels on some formal military uniforms (technically “epaulettes” with “fringe”)? Except instead of tassels it’s feather looking things and also there’s only one shoulder pad for some reason?

All of this is to say that none of what he’s wearing can realistically pass for 13th century clothing, except maybe his lower half, and that’s still stretching it.

His entire outfit actually most resembles military uniforms from the 18th and early 19th centuries, as @inkowl13 pointed out in this post. When he floats, you can even clearly see his tattered coattails, which are his trademark green on the underside. In the case of 18th century garb, his shirt would be a waistcoat (he doesn’t seem to be wearing an 18th century shirt underneath his “waistcoat” at all, but maybe we just can’t see it or distinguish it from his “waistcoat”), and his jacket-thing would be a uniformed soldier’s coat. His lower half would be breeches with either a. ankle boots and over-the-knee stockings, b. ankle boots and thigh high gaiters (those things with buttons that go over the top of the shoe), or c. thigh high boots, which appeared as riding boots in the 15th century and remained common until the 19th century—including in military uniforms (in fact, some cavalry units today still use them in their ceremonial dress uniforms). His shoulder pad would, in fact, be a strange attempt at an epaulet/epaulette (which were used in the 18th century (and beyond) to denote rank) with fringe the color of his trademark green. The fact that there’s only one also makes sense within this period; whether the epaulet/epaulette was on the right, left, or both shoulders indicated rank (Galloper’s “epaulet/epaulette” is on his right shoulder, our left). The issue of glove history is also eliminated since it seems military uniforms in the 1700s made use of gloves. Men’s capes/cloaks at this time went to the knee or below it, so my explanation for his cape is unchanged. Through this lens, things start to become clear.

This is a mannequin (is that what you call the fake models of historical clothing? does mannequin apply in this context?) wearing an 18th century cavalry uniform:

As you can see, he looks incredibly similar to galloper, despite the many differences.

And these are two sets of 18th century soldiers (again, sorry for the less than ideal quality):

On the left there’s a pair of soldiers with over-the-knee boots and on the right there’s a pair with over-the-knee gaiters (see how they go over their shoes). Thigh high boots would make more sense for a horseman, but thigh high gaiters would explain some things about his lower half, like how his boots and the thigh high part are different colors. However, there are no buttons on the sides (like gaiters have) or garters at the knee (like both stockings and gaiters had), and the thigh high part is tucked into the shoe, more like stockings rather than gaiters. In these pictures you can also see how his upper half looks incredibly similar to all four soldiers, again, even with the differences.

Now, unless galloper was keeping up with fashion until the 18th century when he stopped (he gave up I guess? said “fuck that shit” and hasn’t changed clothes for the past 300 years?), he shouldn’t be wearing an 18th century military uniform. Especially since he was shown wearing the same clothes in his execution scene (which I don’t put too much stake in considering the Jarl was in his ghost form and even the soul riders don’t have 2 sets of clothes in game).

So why does he look like this, then? The reason why he looks like a revolutionary war soldier can be traced back to the inspiration used for his design. According to Jorvikipedia, his “...design takes direct inspiration from author Washington Irving’s Headless Horseman from The Legend of Sleepy Hollow...” which explains why he looks the way he does. Jorvikipedia has been wrong before (they list his place of birth as “Jorvik (presumably)” which doesn’t fit with his backstory), but if Galloper’s design was based on the headless horseman of “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” (which it very likely was), it would provide justification for the 18th century look of his clothes. Washington Irving’s horseman was, after all, (alleged to be) killed during the revolutionary war in the 18th century.

It’s obvious his upper half is based on 18th century uniform, but the intention behind his lower half remains a mystery. Whether it’s meant to be stockings, gaiters, or boots, I don’t know. Theoretically, his lower half could even have been intended to be hose, braies, and shoes. But considering his entire look and the inspiration behind his design, an 18th century explanation seems more likely (I just don’t know which 18th century explanation, exactly). It would be pretty strange if half of him was medieval and the other half was from the revolutionary war era. Though, I’ll admit, it’s not completely impossible.

My theory for the contradiction between his design and his backstory is that his backstory came after his design. The 18th century look of him, along with his inspiration, and the lack of medieval elements in his design all make a compelling case for this theory. The only thing I can think of that may disprove it is his mare’s y-shaped bridle, but even that could be explained if she was designed after galloper, while his backstory was in its first stages of development (I’ll probably do another post on his horse’s tack, since this post is already long, but that’s for another day). But that’s just a theory; the star stable team could very well have just not done any research on 13th century attire, instead modeling his look on depictions of Irving’s headless horseman and adding the bridle as an indication of the origin they had already established for him.

Ok, but what about the rest? The other parts of his and his mare’s designs (color scheme, hanging pumpkin jack-o-lanterns) can be attributed to the fact that he is the halloween event character. Though his color scheme could be inspired by the headless horseman in World of Warcraft, who was introduced in 2007 (I found out about this horseman while looking into other possible inspirations for galloper’s design), all the colors seen on him and his mare (black, green, red, orange) are general Halloween colors. The hanging jack-o-lanterns are not historically accurate for the Middle Ages (or the revolutionary war era, actually) as pumpkins were not introduced into Europe until Columbus “discovered” the Americas, and did not become commonly carved into jack-o-lanterns until the 19th century in America -which was when and where “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” was published (though the pumpkin “head” was not even carved in the original story). I suppose galloper could have developed an affinity for pumpkins (and for carving them) later on (Jorvik seems to have a lot of them), but it’s more likely that they added them (to the keep and his mare’s design) based on modern halloween practices instead of historical halloweens or consideration of galloper’s feelings on pumpkins.

Ok, so we’ve established he’s not historically accurate for the 13th century, but what would his clothes look like if they were actually historically accurate? The answer is: I don’t know! Maybe I’ll do another google deep dive and make a post on that, but for now we’ve come to the end.

All of my information about historical clothing came from sorting out google results, so take the historical bits with a hefty grain of salt (more like a bowl of salt actually). If you have any actual knowledge about history, please feel free to correct me.

[catboycafe]

I Will Now Express Every Thought I Have About Pacific Rim: The Black 

⚠️ spoilers for the whole thing baby

I actually forgot Pacific Rim: The Black was premiering today until I saw it in an article this morning! When I first heard about it months ago, I was decidedly not sold on a Pacific Rim anime. Uprising burnt me the fuck out and I don’t have a lot of trust left in me for new entries to the franchise. But I had heard rumblings of Raleigh and Herc being referenced after going into #pacificrim and I decided I may as well check out to see what was up! I binged it in 4 hours and it sure was a whirlwind, I’ll tell ya

The Plot

I really enjoy the setting and initial concept! We’re so use to seeing Kaiju/Jaegar shenanigans play out within these major cities with helpless civilians everywhere that spending so much time in a lonesome desert and these destroyed civilizations was really cool and indicative of the changes Pacific Rim has undergone in the last few years. I also looooved the Desert Settlement from the beginning!! It seemed really homey and picturesque; I wish we’d spent more time with the other survivors and got to see more of their day to day aside from farming and sitting. 

I also found the first episode set up to be really tight and well written! I was hooked during the initial flashback, Hayley and Taylor’s fight was really poignant and well acted, and the reveal of Atlas Destroyer felt really huge and epic!!

But once we left the Desert Settlement and the plot started actually moving along, the pacing becomes suuuper rough. We spent way too long in Bogan with Shane and Mei; there’s only 7 episodes and we spent, like, 3? 4? within the confines of that camp and I felt it weighed the plot down. Boy is introduced in the 2nd episode and, because the narrative spends so much time on Shane’s evil machinations and Mei’s back story, we still don’t know anything concrete about his origins or purpose 3 episodes later! That felt frustrating to me

The story beats overall were very predictable. I was able to pick up on Mei’s backstory via her dynamic with Shane in their introductions, so her memories felt too built up and too hollow once they were revealed. The same with the reveal of Boy’s Kaiju form; he was in a big green test tube in a PPDC base - I assumed immediately he was a part-kaiju experiment and again his reveal felt hollow, especially after the glacial pace of it’s development. 

Even when events weren’t predictable, they lacked weight. The appearance of several Kaiju Breaches in “Boneyard” felt very cheap for some reason; I wasn’t scared and I didn’t feel tense about these odds mounting against the protagonists. This was just happening and I was just watching. 

The Art Direction and Animation

I’m very obsessed with all the new Kaiju we got from this; I love how Copperhead is rendered, they’re a joy to see on screen!! The Rippers are also very cute and deserve little plushies...i love these neat little dogs. Boy’s Kaiju Form is very intimidating with an interesting color palette and I loved seeing him next to Copperhead’s highly saturated design!

That’s unfortunately all that I liked however; All the human character design is unmemorable to me. Every character looks exactly like another easily identifiable anime character from a different property (Hayley looks exactly like Zero Suit Samus to me, for example. And Mei kept reminding me of both Bernadetta Fire Emblem and Motoko Kusanagi from GitS. The list goes on). 

I can sort of understand why they’re so bland? A franchise going from Live Action to something as heavily stylized as anime is probably a really difficult transition and these designs are probably meant to be more lowkey than more unique anime designs in order to help that transition. But realistically stylized designs can still be recognizable and unique! These feel uninspired and bare bones.

 I have no problem with the switch to CGI animation that modern anime is doing because I know it’s a lot cheaper to produce and it can still be really unique and striking! But The Black’s model animation felt very stilted and inconsistent. I don’t have a lot of knowledge about animating so I don’t think I can accurately describe what I disliked? Wooden is probably the best term. Character movements felt wooden and things like hair and clothes felt plastic. 

Impacts also had very little weight. The fight between Tayler/Mei and Copperhead reminded me of when you’re in a dream and trying to punch something, but you can’t punch hard. It was simply too floaty and too soft. The final showdown in “Showdown” was better, but not by much. It was very immersion breaking seeing these Giant Robots and Giant Monsters unable to throw a real solid hit!

Characters

My favorite character was unequivocally Joel Wyrick. We love Joel Wyrick in this house! Joel’s character has real charisma and charm. I love his flirtations with Loa, how his cocky disposition is juxtaposed with his drinking problem and later insecurities over his lost memories, and his genuine kindness shown to Mei, Taylor, and Boy. No one ever plays with Boy, they just run after him and drag him around...but Joel has this moment in “Escape from Bogan” where he kneels down to Boy and helps him collect rocks. It was sweet!

So of course, when Joel dies for absolutely no reason 5 minutes later - pissed! I was pissed! I yelled “COME ON” aloud in my studio apartment! I was genuinely so excited to see him interact more with the rest of cast then, poof. No More Joel.

His death felt like it was for shock value to me rather than actual narrative development. Why kill him when we still don’t fully understand his and Mei’s relationship? Why were they so close? Were they childhood friends, or just coworkers that happen to become friends? Why did he specifically know all the details of Shane’s abuse towards Mei before she did? 

What did his death accomplish? It made Mei sad...ok? She was already...very sad. Her running away from Shane already had consequences - the consequences of Shane coming after them for revenge in the future. Why did Joel have to become a causality? 

His death is ultimately tied to Mei’s character arc which is, unfortunately, my least favorite :c I find Mei to be a really one dimensional character with a personality, backstory, outlook, and motivation that I’ve seen done a million times before with a million other characters. She feels very out of place in the franchise as a whole - Pacific Rim is, at it’s core, a story about connecting with others. Her self-centric arc and lack of desire to connect outside of drifting really alienates her from the story at large and it frustrates me how long The Black’s narrative spends on her. 

Hayley and Taylor were otherwise very interesting in the pilot episode, but become similarly one dimensional at the story chugs on. Taylor’s unflinching (bordering on unhealthy) faith in their parents was really interesting next to Hayley’s complete acceptance of their parents’ death. But once the two of them make up their differences, they lack an interesting dynamic and become very passive protagonists.

 Taylor especially has no personality - how would you describe Taylor? He’s...brave. He’s the older brother. He’s a leader? He’s nice? There is nothing noteworthy about him at all, which is sad considering I think he has the potential to be a really interesting way to explore the original movie’s influence on The Black’s story.

Hayley’s grief and self-blame are more interesting than Taylor’s...nothingness, but she still falls into this one-note trope of being the naive, excitable little sister. I guess I feel abnormally frustrated about this flat character writing because Pacific Rim’s incredibly unique cast has always been an inspiration to me! It feels sad that this new iteration into the series is full of what feel like stock characters. 

Then we get to Boy. How come Boy can’t have a person name? It’s specifically written in a dialogue between Taylor and Hayley: “I’m not going to call him Chad or Barnaby or one of those names for a baby brother you wanted as a kid,”

Why?

He’s by all accounts a human child when they find him. Yes, he was found in a big green test tube - but he walks and acts just like a human child. The only difference, seemingly, is that he is non-verbal and engages in strange/annoying behavior (running off, eating bugs, etc). So he isn’t deserving of a name?? I don’t know why that makes me so mad, it just does. it’s like they refuse to treat him as a human even before they find out he’s a Kaiju  - it’s super weird! How can the story sell me on the three of them becoming found family (like they’re seemingly trying to do) if the protagonists won’t even treat this kid like a kid??

Misc. Thoughts

The callbacks to Stacker, Herc, and Raleigh were cool! I also like that Herc is a major plot point! We love Herc Hanson and it’s what he deserves. I also find Loa’s connection to Horizon Bravo very interesting...and the fact we’re getting Kaiju cultist lore! Love that! Love that!

Fucked up that the only two dark skinned characters were: 1) removed from the story 10 minutes in with no call back yet, 2) Killed after having 1 line of dialogue and fridged for the character development of the blonde white girl. I really need to know what the deal with those 4 characters leaving in the beginning was about - I absolutely thought we’d see them again by now, but no dice

I don’t know how to feel about Ajax and have no clue what their purpose in the story is. They’re cool, but whats the point? 

If Mei and Taylor are paired up together romantically, I’m putting Craig Kyle and Greg Johnson in the time out box. Very tired of seeing random hetero romance B plots in stories that can’t even get their A plots together

Overall, it’s kind of subpar! It has the foundations of a really interesting story, but the pacing and characters really took me out of it. I’m interested in Season 2! I know season 2 is already ordered and I’d love to see how things continue to develop, see if the character writing gets any better - but I’m not too hopeful unfortunately. I really really love Pacific Rim after all these years and I’m happy to still be getting content and world building! There’s just sooo much I would change about this however. At least fanfiction’s free! 

Thanks for reading all this, I have ADHD and just go on and on if u let me. hmu if You Too have thoughts about Pacific Rim: The Black and have no one to talk abt them with

[fencer-x]

Fencer’s Big Eva Review

Just got done watching the Eva finale, so it’s time to get out thoughts while they’re fresh! Caveat: Eva is difficult to understand for native speakers, and I’m definitely not a native speaker XD I feel like I got maybe half, and got the rough gist of like 10% of the rest, and the remaining was just no friggin’ clue. Would’ve gone better if there’d at least been JP subs, but you’ll have to deal with what I’ve got for now!

It should be obvious, but there’ll be HELLA MAJOR SPOILERS for the final Evangelion movie. Ready? Let’s go.

The movie very helpfully starts off with a ~2 min recap of the movies thus far. This was great because I didn’t have time to rewatch the previous three before going, and while I’ve seen them a few times, it took me a second the recall what had happened at the very end of Q, so I was glad to get a very brief recap.

The actual movie itself opens on...Paris! Or Paris post-Near-Third-Impact (Third Impact?), which is a red and black wasteland. It seems that Wille has been developing these things that look like Entry Plugs that they shove into the ground and restore everything to pre-all-impacts (so like, blue water and everything); couldn’t get HOW it managed that, but they had them and were attempting to restore Paris.

Would have been a walk in the park except for weird Eva-Angel-Machine hybrids that were trying to prevent them from activating the plugs. Lots of fighting happens, with Mari piloting her Eva to give them cover while the Wille staff set everything up. Eventually they manage it, and Euro Nerv is restored.

Then we switch over to right where Q left off: Asuka, Clone!Rei, and a catatonic Shinji wandering around trying to go who knows where. They eventually get picked up by...Touji! Yes, an older Touji now who lives in a commune of survivors, scraping out a semblance of a life in one of the areas protected by the aforementioned plugs (they had another name but I couldn’t get it).

In this community, Touji is the local doctor--and he’s married with a kid! He married Hikari, and they have an infant daughter named Tsubame. 

Now, let’s check in how our main three do when introduced to this relatively normal life they get to enjoy for a few weeks:

Asuka: Still in ‘fight mode’, ready to go at a moment’s notice. How she thinks she’s gonna fight when she has no Eva idk, but for this entire little bit, she’s either naked or in her plugsuit. She stays with Aida Kensuke, who’s kind of the handyman, and is generally just rude af.

Shinji: For 90% of this bit, he’s totally shut off. He’s incredibly fucked up from having JUST watched Kaworu die, essentially because of him, and Asuka has on a DSS choker, and every time he sees it, he collapses and begins vomiting violently. He stays with the Suzuharas at first but is quickly sent to stay with Asuka and Kensuke because they don’t really know how to deal with him. Kensuke manages to get him to open up a little bit, but eventually it’s Rei who gets him started on the path back to being himself. At one point he runs away and ‘lives’ alone for a while in what I think was either the building where he first met Kaworu playing the piano or one that looked a lot like it. He goes out to do odd jobs with Kensuke a lot, and on one occasion he’s taken to an ‘outdoor lab’ where some workers are experimenting with new gardening techniques. It’s here he’s meets...Kaji Ryouji. No, not that Kaji Ryouji. That Kaji DIED. This is the son he had with Misato (named after him).

Rei: Now, let me say I’ve never been super interested in Rei. I didn’t dislike her, like I did Asuka, but I wasn’t really interested in her either. She was just there. Guys.....I LOVED REI IN THIS MOVIE. I would have watched 2.5 hours of the Rei Learns To Be A Human show and been happy for the $20 I paid. Rei spends her time in the commune learning to be an individual. She stays with the Suzuharas and learns what different words mean, like “Good morning” and “Good night” and “Thank you” and “Goodbye”, she gets super close with a bunch of old ladies who essentially adopt her and teach her how to plant turnips and what a bath is, and she becomes her own person. When she first arrives, the Suzuharas think she’s “Ayanami Rei”, but she explains that she isn’t, so they call her “Sokkuri-san” instead (”Miss Spitting Image” essentially), and the old ladies find it amusing at first but then encourage her to choose her own name, and when she can’t think of one, they tell her to have someone choose one for her, so she asks the Uber-Depressed Shinji to choose one. These interactions are what eventually pull him back to himself, but ultimately he’s unable to come up with one, because “Ayanami is Ayanami”. She thanks him for trying anyway, returns his SD player to him..............................and then dissolves into a pile of LCL fluid, as apparently all clones eventually return to LCL. Fantastic, because Shinji didn’t need EVEN MORE TRAUMA.

Somehow, the above doesn’t break Shinji, and he resolves to go back to Wille and face his father I guess?? I’m not entirely clear on why (gotta go read some reports of my own I guess lol). Back on the ship with Misato et al., Shinji isn’t forced to wear a choker but he’s put in a cell with like explosives in it I guess. He starts having visions of Kaworu helping him accept things.

At this point it’s getting close to the climax, and Wille are going after Nerv/Gendo once and for all. During the final fight, Asuka tried to take out Unit 13′s core, and then she’s not managing it, she rips off her eyepatch, and we see that the patch was keeping the 9th angel bound within her eye, so she decides to throw away her humanity and let it take over to destroy Unit 13. Unfortunately, she’s killed in the end--how? She’s approached by a vision of her ‘original’. Yup, Asuka was a clone herself, like Rei, and she turns back into LCL and she and unit 02 are absorbed by Unit 13.

Eventually the fight comes down to Shinji vs. Gendo, who has thrown away his own humanity and bonded with Unit 13 in the hopes of completing the Human Instrumentality Project. He and Shinji go head to head as Shinji summons (???) Unit 01 from inside Unit 13, and there’s a really REALLY WEIRD final fight between the two that involves some weird animation choices. Lots of storyboards and overly CGI’d CGI, and some bits that seem to take them through the different incarnations of the Eva series.

We also get Gendo backstory by the boatload as he and Shinji have an actual goddamn conversation for once. Mari features prominently in Gendo’s flashbacks so she was definitely one of his classmates it seems, who introduced him to Fuyutsuki. I’m still not entirely clear on who she is/was.

However, through this conversation, Shinji gives the people he’s interacted with most closely/been closest with closure I guess? Gendo, Asuka...Kaworu.

So about Kaworu. Their conversation was VERY VERY WEIRD; it’s made clear that Shinji is also now aware of all the different iterations of their meeting. When they talk, it’s set at the beach where they first met in the TV series, and Shinji says he remembers all the times they’ve met before. Shinji mentions that Kaworu reminds him a lot of his father, and then there are some very strange flashbacks (????) of Kaworu’s that I feel like imply he’s to Gendo as Rei is to Yui. At one point, he’s seen talking to Fuyutsuki, trying to decide on a name for himself and settling on ‘Nagisa’ as it means ‘beach’, where the ocean meets the land. Fuyutsuki later addresses Kaworu, who’s sitting in Gendo’s desk, as “Commander Nagisa”. Kaworu reflects to Shinji that he failed so many times to make Shinji happy, but he’s realized now that that’s because he doesn’t know what would make Shinji happy and it was arrogant to think he knew better. He was looking for his own happiness all along.

In the end, after all these goodbyes, Shinji is left with the decision of what to do with, well, reality. He decides, in a conversation with Rei, that he’ll reset everything--create a ‘neon genesis’--to a world without Eva or Angels.

Our last shot is an older Shinji meeting his (presumed??) girlfriend Mari on a train platform. On the opposite platform waiting for their own train are Kaworu, Asuka, and Rei. Shinji and Mari hold hands and run, laughing, from the train station.

NEON GENESIS EVANGELION GOT A HAPPY ENDING. 2021 REALLY BE OUT HERE WILDING.

My final thoughts:

Okay I’ll say it: the fuck with Shinji/Mari endgame? Believe me, it was completely out of left field even in this movie. They just happened to be the only final survivors. Mari flirted a hell of a lot more with ASUKA and was distraught at her death than she did with Shinji. They were a kind of cute couple in the end, but very ????? 

I’m disappointed Shinji wasn’t the one to give Kaworu his happiness in the end, after Kaworu spent so long and so many lives and realities trying to make him happy and failing. I’m choosing to believe, since these multiple realities/resets are canon now, that he did it in one of them. They all deserve the happiness of their choosing, not just Shinji’s, and Kaworu showed us time and time again that his happiness definitively involves being with Shinji.

I’m sure I missed a lot, because yanno, Eva, and it was long enough as is, but gosh I wish I could’ve understood more of everything that was going on, cause there was SO MUCH WEIRD SHIT.

If I watch this movie again, I will 500% just be watching those “Rei learns to be human with the help of a bunch of old cackling biddies” bits :> Those were THE BEST PARTS OF THE MOVIE.

[elencelebrindal]

Time to ramble about Shun

Sooo... you said you wanted my rambling to become reality. Here I go. 

Shun not holding back for the whole series would have been a disaster for our dear villains, let me tell you.  But let’s go in order. And I mean, from training to Hades. Obviously, this completely disregards the fact that Shun was Hades the whole time, because if I am to take that into consideration everything would end before starting.  Small disclaimer, this is mostly anime-based. I’ve read the manga, but my memory is so bad in remembering what was just manga and what was just anime, and I have a better memory for the anime.  Also, this is going to praise Shun a lot. No, not because of my undying love for this character, but because logically speaking, he’s freaking powerful; this young man stood against a god that was possessing his body, dammit. 

Now, his training.  Of course, I won’t even imagine Shun actually going to Death Queen Island, mostly because it was Ikki, and not him, the reason why he went to Andromeda Island instead.  What we know, is that Shun nearly awakened his Seventh Sense there and then, when he donned the Cloth for the first time. And we know that he won the right to the trial after winning a fight against his “rival”.  But, before winning, he took a good beating, because he held back.  What would have happened, in the eventuality that Shun did not hold back? Well, probably just quicker access to the trial for the Cloth, but also... this might be the only time Shun not holding back would have affected him negatively.  What if he, by not holding back, lost his right to the Cloth? Andromeda is famous for her sacrifice, after all, not for her brave charging into battle.  This is mostly my own idea about it, because of course Shun was destined to become the Andromeda Saint, but luckily he held back, and only fought when he needed to. 

That aside, now it’s time to tackle all the positive things that could have happened had he not held back. 

Galaxian Wars / Black Saints Arc (forgive me, I forgot the actual name)

We had a taste of how smart and capable Shun is during his fight against Jabu, but all of that was thrown away thanks to Ikki’s appearance. Now, this doesn’t mean than Shun completely lost his competence, but he definitely held back for the sake of his brother.  This is obvious when we take into account the fight they all have against Ikki, when Shun tries to help his brother rather than stop him.  We already saw how dangerous Shun can be, when he faced Black Andromeda, so it’s easy to understand how much easier it could have been for the Bronze to stop Ikki if Shun was there to actively help against him.  Sure, he helped in the end, but he was probably the only one (at least at that point, because remember, he was the only one to have almost awakened the Seventh Sense) capable to stand his ground against Ikki.  Seiya’s success was more plot than skills, honestly speaking.  Shun could have been infinitely helpful, at least in making sure they earned a faster victory with less blood spilled.  To me, what we know about Shun’s power (though it’s only revealed later) makes it that he has a huge advantage that is ignored because of 1. Shun’s personality and 2. what’s needed for the plot and what was known of the plot. You all know he’s my favorite Bronze, at this point, but following a logical reasoning I cannot find something against this. 

On a side note, can you imagine how fast he would have destroyed Black Swan, if only he used his brain and not his heart?  Considering the outcome of his fight against Black Andromeda, and his knowledge about Hyoga’s techniques (which are kinda imitated by Black Swan), it’s not difficult to imagine he would have won.  He wouldn’t have done as good against all of them together, at this point of the story, but a one vs one fight would have definitely seem him victorious. 

Silver Saints Arc

I have no clear memory if that Docrates mess is in this arc or the one before it (the Italian division is a bit different and it confuses the hell out of me when I have to switch), but let’s put him here.  Because come on.  Shun getting thrown around like a doll? Yeah, no. Docrates might be a powerful - and not so brilliant or likable - warrior, but to the point of overwhelming a Saint like Shun with so much ease? I hardly believe it. I can  believe Shun having a hard time against him, especially considering how they won that fight.  Full power, I think Shun could have helped way more. I’m not saying he could have defeated a beat like Docrates all by himself, not at that point. Hyoga’s help was crucial for him to actually deal an effective blow.  But I’m pretty convinced they could have had a bit of a better time - especially Saori - because power makes the difference, even if it’s not enough to turn the tide without aid. 

Continuing with the same arc, we have another example of Shun being extremely competent and showing how strong he is when he doesn’t hold back.  How long did it take him to completely obliterate a Silver Saint? Not even enough to appreciate how badass he was.  It didn’t seem forced at all, more importantly! Most times, especially with Seiya, their victories seem so... well, convenient that it’s hard to believe they’re actually strong enough to beat their enemies. The plot armor around them is stronger than their actual armor, from time to time. This fight against Dante, instead, felt completely genuine. Shun and Ikki beating so easily two Silver Saints seemed incredibly normal and realistic, rather than feeling forced by the plot.  Of course, all the other characters have their genuine moments (yes, even Seiya), but I wanted to point this out for Shun in this particular instance because it’s necessary to understand how underrated he is. 

Sanctuary Arc

Moving on, we have what I like to call “Shun could have choked Saga to death and ended the entire Sanctuary Arc in less than five episodes”. Listen, does it seem so unreasonable? If it does, remember how Shun (with Ikki’s help, this is not something I’m ignoring, I like Shun but I don’t play dirty here) used his chain to break free of the Other Dimension (a place that’s supposedly impossible to leave? Hello????) and literally reached Saga where he was sitting.  What the hell, are we just ignoring the fact that he legitimately broke into the throne room of the most protected place of the entire Sanctuary, stole Saga’s cheap-looking trinkets, and shattered his control over him? For god’s sake, I’m SURE he could have at least managed to try and kill Saga where he was.  I’m aware he had no idea what the hell was going on, but had he used a bit more of his cosmo? A bit more of his concentration and intelligence? To me, it seems really weird that he only properly awakened his Seventh Sense so late in the arc. If Seiya was able to screw the plot over and get his precious Seventh Sense so early and easily, why wasn’t Shun given the same opportunity? Well, I know why, plot and everything, Shun’s actual power was still very much a mystery, but I’m going chronologically, and by logic. And what logic tells me is: Shun should have awakened his goddamn Seventh Sense there, realized he was stealing costume jewelry from the Pope, and at least knocked him out for the next couple hours.  For as much as i like joking about it, I know Saga is smarter and stronger than the average guy, Shun wasn’t going to be able to strangle him with the chain. But a good old pointy cosmo-powered chain to the forehead, well... come on. Would have been hilarious, other than useful. 

For the rest, the arc was pretty amazing.  His sacrifice for Hyoga? Yeah, he wasn’t holding back there.  And the fight against Aphrodite we all know how incredible it was.

Something I’m going to point out is how much Shun held back against Leda and Spica. That was all his personality, but he was able to defeat both of them in a couple seconds as soon as he used his true power.  I don’t really want to count that as holding back, but I have to. Because he was keeping his strength low, and it counts.  That was a time loss that could have been avoided. 

Asgard Arc

Now this, this makes me mad.  As soon as Shun leaves canon territory, it gets turned into this weak warrior with no desire to fight.  Either that, or he gets to fight but accomplishes little.  And this is exactly what happened in this arc. 

By now, we know how lethal Shun can be, and we know he awakened his Seventh Sense. It’s not theory anymore, it’s not fan wishes anymore, it’s Shun with one more sense to deal with.  And what happens? They give him the fight against the only enemy his goddamn chain doesn’t want to hit. Of course he gets that, and that his - actually beautiful - personality refuses to fight and instead insists on diplomacy.  Now, I loved that. I love how Shun tries to find a peaceful way around the war. But, once again, this is not the point of my rambling.  The point of my rambling is: Shun shouldn’t have needed Ikki to come and save the day.  Let’s take away Mime’s tragic backstory for a second, and let’s put Shun in the “classic” mind of a Saint; fight the enemy to the death, or die trying.  Shun would have won without any help. Sure, Mime is powerful, but Shun is as well. And we know that Shun is capable of facing enemies that use music as a weapon (as we learn later, in the Poseidon Arc).  Also, I’m pretty positive he has control over his chain, is not like the chain is going to ignore him like that. That weapon has a mind of its own, that’s true, but seriously speaking Shun has to be able to control it more than the chain controls itself.  That, and Shun himself refused to recognize Mime as an enemy.  Without holding back, Shun would have seen him as a proper enemy, and fought with no chain deciding “oh no no no, this is a friend!” like an overly friendly puppy.  Wrongfully, maybe, because as we learned Mime was, in fact, not a real enemy, but that’s not the point. 

Syd doesn’t really count. Shun was actually standing his ground against him, and incredibly well.  The reason Shun didn’t win right there and there was not him holding back, but the plot advancing and throwing Bud at him.  I don’t know how high I should hold this opinion, though, because to me it seems a bit weird that Bud is so powerful/stealthy that no one realizes he’s there. I’ve been skeptical about him, especially considering how he incapacitated freaking Aldebaran, but it is still a good reason for Shun not having won the fight.  Stealth can be more effective than raw power, sometimes.  Though, I believe Shun (and Aldebaran, for what it counts) should have been able to sense him. What, they’re going to show us the Saints can sense any kind of cosmo approaching them or far from them, but not realize that there’s someone right behind them ready to strike? Eh, it’s bizarre. 

Poseidon Arc

Right off the bat, he got his moment to shine against Io.  THAT, my friends, was incredible, and if Shun didn’t hold back - because he did, to avoid killing him, bless his merciful soul - Io would have died pretty easily.  Shun claimed his rights as Gold Saint, there, didn’t use all his power, and still beat the everloving soul out of him. 

Also, the fight against Sorrento? Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.  I literally have nothing to say, he had a reason to hold back there, and I will not give him a forced victory. Sorrento was on his level, and even though I think the Nebula Storm would have killed him (remember, that technique keeps getting more and more powerful the longer it’s used), they were pretty equal.  Shun didn’t hold back, save for when he understood what the hell was going on and got an ally. 

What I didn’t like, however, was how harshly he was treated when Poseidon was the threat. Damn, I’m not saying he should have been able to face a god, not without a Gold Cloth and not alone, but jeez, he ended up being completely ignored.  Like “wait, I’ll help!”, and then poof. Disappeared.  But in this instance, not holding back wouldn’t have made much of a difference. Unless you want to be 100% full of logic, and use the fact that Shun was already a vessel for a god, there’s no viable excuses for him to be able to fight a god on his own.  Not at that point in time, and not in his conditions.  Things work only if they can work. 

Hades Chapter

I don’t have much to say here.  Shun was incredible, he fought without holding back for almost the entire series, and showed an almost merciless side. A good handful of that behavior was Hades, if we go by how Shun was portrayed beforehand, but I like to believe he finally got his time to shine and acted competent again.  After hall, he had his angry moments back in the classic, they were no different from this chapter. 

What I will say, however, is how they diminished him in Elysium.  Because let’s face it: a Saint that not only survived one of the most powerful gods ever possessing him, but also tricked and held him back, had every single right to be powerful enough while wearing a God Cloth to obliterate Hypnos from the face of Elysium.  How are you telling me to believe that the same person that defeated the god of the Underworld just... fell asleep against a minor deity? He was the first to get his God Cloth without the plot aiding him (yes, I’m still salty about Seiya), yet he did nothing, and got defeated by Hypnos like he was a weak little boy.  I understand he’s a god, but Hades was worse! I’ll tell you what would have happened. Shun would have sent Hypnos’ sorry ass back in the void he deserved to be in (I actually like Hypnos okay, Shun doesn’t) without batting an eye.  Surely someone that was able to withstand Hades’ power - and overwhelmed it, even if for a short time - could resist some minor god’s power. 

To conclude, on the same not, Shun should have definitely punched Hades in the face.  He was probably the only one strong enough to do so, aside from Athena. And probably the one with the right to do so, also. 

This is probablt the stupidest rambling I’ve ever wrote on this blog, but I regret nothing. 

[sleepdeprivedheretic]

Wild Heart: Taishiro Toyomitsu fluff and nsfw at the end

Notes: Smut with kinda nomadic and village people with animal features. Sorry s/o, but you’re a lil’ bunny with a kinda fearful backstory. All characters are of age, and this story has some dark elements to it. Don’t read if you’re underaged.

Warnings: No forced mating happens to s/o, but there are mentions of the fearful possibilities, and s/o living in fear of it. Kinda Mary Sue s/o but whatevs.

……………

When your first heat took over you, you first lived in your own little space in your parent’s temporary den. Of course they expected this. You, however, did not expect them to take advantage of your delicate situation by inviting possible suitors in their home.  

It scared you so much, laying there in your feathered nest, listening to your parents in the other room basically interviewing each and every suitor, acting as if you were a piece of meat to be traded off to. Which, you realized, that you were.

Traveling in the past winter was difficult, for many villagers fell ill, got lost, and were eaten by wilder animals, which made your parents desperate to help reproduce the decaying tribe. Of course, rabbits being one of the most fertile breeds, were sought by more dominant species to reproduce. A predatory species such as a wolf or dog, for example, will always have pups, if their mate isn’t high on the list of dominance that is.  

It made young bunnies such as yourself a prize, because although highly fertile and bore kits quickly, the kits will be a species of their mate, instead of rabbits themselves.  

 You weren’t sure if you wanted kits, only to repeat your species’s vicious little cycle. You were sick of it, and always fearful that somebody who your parents approved of, will just come into your nest while in heat, and either fuck you then and there, or drag you away to be a little breeder.

You were so scared and sick. Although terrible, your parents seem to know that a fearful bunny in heat was not good, and the stars aligned with luck as you heard them sigh and say that right after your heat, you will be traded to the well off weasel in your tribe in exchange for nesting materials and food.

It understandably made you angry, and that fateful night, when you felt ready, you packed some things and left without your parents knowing.

To where, you did not know, but like your kin, you will find your own little place, whether it be in a small nomadic village such as your parents, or all alone in the wilderness. It was unsafe for you. Your heat had just lifted, but the intoxicating smell still clung to you.

You traveled far, avoiding to stay at one place for too long, suspicious strangers, and open fields. Wolves would leer at you, owls and other birds of prey would gauge whether should they swoop down at you. Your nights were spent curled up in either an abandoned den, or huddled against a large tree, hoping that you’ll be safe.

As for your heats, you definitely had to play extra safe, so far as gathering two week’s worth of food to place in a temporary den, blocking it and not even thinking about coming out until it was at least a week after your heat.

It was an absolute nightmare to be writhing on the ground, hearing the scratches, threats, and wanton moans of animals outside, wanting to break through your makeshift barrier, and never succeeding. It scared you so much, that a small part of you wondered if the weasel would have been a better choice. You shook it off. No, you were more than an incubator. You always got through the night, and you’ll get through this one.  

On the lucky side, your food resources would not run out due to it being late summer, and so wild fruit, vegetables, and berries were still available to you, making stored temporary dens so much easier while dealing with heats, which drained your energy. You didn’t want to continue walking forever, living in fear and hiding,  but you didn’t want to be near your parents ever again.

One day, you came across a friendly little village. It surprised you. Unlike your village, they had buildings built there to stay, not tents flapping in the wind, or an abandoned den in which would be abandoned again. It felt like a secure place, and you decided that you will try to find a den on the outskirts of town.

It didn’t take long to find an old fox den. The smell has long since faded, and there was no outcry or claim when you left of what few belongings you had. Being smart, you covered the opening up with grass and branches, and headed towards the village to hopefully find work for food so that you could eat for the upcoming winter.

The people were friendly. They saw you not just as a foreigner, but one of the few beings who actually wanted to stay. The majority of your land had a nomadic lifestyle, but this place had structure, rules, and more importantly, safety. Beings of all kinds were welcomed here, and nobody discriminated. It was too good to be true, you thought. You thought that it was a trap, but it wasn’t.

It was a new concept of living, and many beings found it too weird and suffocating, not like the free reign they were use to having, so many beings avoided the village. You loved it. So you stayed.

Of course there were doubts, and the ever-lingering fear, yet it melted away when you seen the sunny faces of a fellow rabbit named Izuku, a red salamander by the name of Eijiro, the warm smile and fluffy squirrel tail of Ochaco, the leader of the village, a droopy crow man by the name of Aizawa, and others , you knew that this was your place.

It didn’t take you long to befriend the villagers. It was not a large village, but for the first time, you felt very welcomed and supported, and even found a job working as a gardener with Ochaco. You felt so happy, that you let yourself smile, which you haven’t done so in ages.

Of course, of all of the villagers, there was one who caught your eyes the most. When your eyes met, you couldn’t help the fluttering feeling beat within your chest. Bright orange eyes, soft yellow hair, and a round face met your gaze. The rare tiger breed was eating something sweet, and had a little speck of food on his face, in which you couldn’t help but find adorable.

It didn’t bother you that he was round, or the soft blush on his cheeks, or the way his pretty eyes had glistened a little with surprise, and most importantly, his sandalwood and soft vanilla scent. You knew that you shouldn’t like a person just bases on their looks or scent, but at that moment, you couldn’t help the blood rushing to your cheeks, a little.

Of course, it didn’t help when he offered a smile and one of his sweets, that you were pulled a little more into the rabbit hole of like at first sight.

Throughout the end of your gardening, he would visit you often. His name is Taishiro Toyomitsu “but you can call me Tai-chan!” as his tail flicked. He was only a few years older than you, and his job was help keep the peace, patrolling around the village and help protect it against invaders.

You were smitten but of course could not tell him. A part of you wanted him to like you in despite of your heats and fertility, and you was scared.

As you continued being his friend for the next year, you learned that not only was he a great and a trustworthy friend, but he had lost his fat during spring, and gained it back during the harsh winter months. You honestly thought his bigger form was cuter, but you were not complaining at all to see rippling muscles adorned with sweat during the summer heat.

Which didn’t help your heats at all when you lay deep within your den, writhing with your fingers within you, feeling incomplete and needing something bigger as you could imagine the soft feel of his flesh rutting within you or hard muscles holding you down. It was torture, and you knew that by not telling him how you felt, and not wanting to ruin your relationship with one of your closest and dearest friends, you allowed yourself to suffer.    

Within the next two years, you worked hard and never complained. You learned how to sew, clean, cook, garden, gather, and even carpentry. You helped your neighbors, and in return, they, mainly Taishiro, helped you build your little fox den into a rabbit hut.  

You never told your neighbors about your problems before, but it didn’t take a genius to figure things out. You were a lone being with no mate, not another’s scent on you, and had never brought anybody into your house. It was obvious that you ran away, and you even let it slip while casual talking to Izuku.

Of course, not to mention that the scent of your heat always lingered a week or two on you after your actual heat. You didn’t deny the thrill up your spine whenever Taishiro would accidentally inhale your scent. You didn’t miss the way his pupils dilated with lust, ears perked, and tail thrashing wildly as he looked at you whenever he thought you weren’t looking. Oh no, you were totally aware, and ate it up. Every little image was fodder for you, and it made your heart race faster.  

Everything changed for you, one November day. You were outside, planning on where to plant your crops for the next spring, happily humming to yourself as ever, until you felt yourself being pushed down onto the ground. In a daze, you scrambled to back up from whatever force that was near you, and looked up.

It was your father, and he was seething. You didn’t understand. You traveled far, hadn’t you? Your scent would have faded on your travels, and why now, after three years, has your parent finally found you with an irrational attitude?

You did feel like you left your parents to defend for themselves, but you had to do this for yourself. If not for your dignity, but for your freedom. The only rational thought you could come up with was that the tribe was traveling this direction, and you, living on the outskirts of the village, was easily spotted.

Fate was unfair, sometimes.

“Where have you been? We were worried for you! Your suitor, the weasel, has already found another mate! Your mother and I had lost a lot of opportunity when you ran off like a coward!” It all came falling out of his mouth as he screamed at you. Three years worth of anguish filled his tone.  

Your ears flattened back as your body stiffened with fear. Then an unexpected anger hit you out of nowhere.

“Do you know how scared I was while you were inviting strangers into our home? While I was in my heat for no less? Overhearing how you were going to trade me in as if I never mattered? I was so scared that you were just going to let somebody walk in and do whatever they wanted to me!” You shouted as tears threaten to spring from your eyes. You hurriedly wiped them away as your father stared in shock. However, you weren’t done.

“I traveled so far! Trying to escape you two, the tribe, and everything that holds me down biologically! I had to hide during my heats, hearing...things outside trying to get through the dens I blockaded. Storing food, hiding in the darkness for weeks until I felt safe to go out...looking above me or behind my back every second….” You trailed off as your anger dissipated fast. You frantically wiped your eyes as your father’s shoulders relaxed.

You almost jumped when you felt a hand land gently upon your shoulder. A fierce sandalwood scent overpowered the sweet vanilla, and you knew who it was. Swiveling to look up, your heart sped faster at the sight of Taishiro, who now had a feral look to him as he stared your father down. Your heart sank. You didn’t mean for him to find about your troubles. His ears flat, tail puffed out and swishing, and eyes didn’t leave your father as he spoke.

“Is he botherin’ you, Darlin’?” His voice was gentle to you, although his body language spoke another situation. You eyed your father as his face held a tiny bit of remorse, and fear.

“No,” You found yourself saying aloud. “he’ll be leaving, soon.” After those words, your father gave a curt nod and left just like that. You couldn’t believe your circumstances, or the loop that life threw at you. Your cheeks paled as you remembered that Taishiro probably heard everything.

To be honest, you didn’t care. You wanted him to know, but of course under better circumstances. Tail smoothing down, ears perked, the sweet vanilla overpowering the sandalwood, and eyes round, he looked at you with a worried expression.

“Are you alright? I came running as soon as I scented an unfamiliar scent around your area, I feared for the worse. Damn, I didn’t mean to overhear everything! Seriously, you went through all of that?” His concerned babbling made your heart leap. He cared about you. Feeling brave, you looked at him and decided to shoot a question.

“What did you fear, Tai-chan?” Your question caught him off guard as his eyes widened and a pink dust settled over his cheeks as he swiftly looked down at the ground. For a second, you thought he was going to start blubbering, but then he looked back at you with a determination.

“I was worried that you had found a suitor.” He admitted. Oh. Oh.

“That would have bothered you, wouldn’t it?” You asked with a serious gentle voice. He couldn’t help but nod.

“How long?” You pressed. His ears flattened with a bit of embarrassment and his eyes tentatively met yours.

“When I first saw you. Timid thing with wide eyes, couldn’t help but find ya...ya know, cute. Then you were always friendly, ya know? Um, I could see ya admiring me, even when I was heavy and fat during the winter, I always felt you starin’ at me with those eyes, and it made me feel special. As if my personality was worth more than my body weight, ya know? Then when the years passed and I got ta know ya, I realized that I loved you.” His flush deepened with every breath as he admitted this.

You felt warmth pool within you despite the November chill, and your heart raced. He loved you? You asked him how he had noticed, and he smiled a little.

“Honestly, you aren’t very subtle, Darlin’. Even a week after your heat, I can see you liking the way I’ve been reacting to your smell. Three years is too much, but I’d wait more if you’re still decidin’.” He let out a little growl, and you flushed.  Your heart hammered loudly, and you swore that he could hear it. Then you let it out.

“I loved you when I first saw you,” Your voice broke out and he looked at you with wonder. “as you heard the outburst I had with my father, I was at first a little insecure about liking somebody. Everyone before I came to this life, saw me as an object waiting to be used. You’re not like that. The villagers, my friends, aren’t like that. I didn’t know that you had feelings for me, but I kept pushing away suitors just in case if you changed your mind, one day.” You admitted freely. It honestly felt as if a giant weight had been lifted off of your shoulders.

Only for warm arms to embrace you. Your little bunny tail couldn’t help but swish happily as you wrapped your arms around him, pushing your face into his chest and taking in the sweet vanilla scent. This was happening. You both acknowledged your feelings towards each other, and now can rest easy.            

  After a few minutes, he broke the silence first.

“In my old tribe, it’s custom for males to court their lovers before they finally settle. Would you like that, lil’ rabbit?” He teased lightly as his hand ran circles on your back. You nodded without hesitation. Then you remembered.

“My heat is tomorrow.” He froze and pulled away to look at you with wide eyes.

“Darlin’…” He let the sentence drop as you cupped his face.

“I’m tired of spending them alone. They’re getting worse, and it’s hurting more every passing season. If you’re wanting, I rather have nobody in my nest for the rest of my life but you.”

The next thing you knew, his warm mouth was onto yours, holding you tight against him as he started kissing you. You shivered a little, and he pulled back.

“Oh, sweetheart, I’d love to.” He crooned, making your insides turn into warm mush. He’d love to make love to you is all you could think about, and in an instant, years of self restraint seemed to wither.

“Tonight, before my heat?” You pondered. It took him a second, but then he nodded. You smiled warmly up at him and caressed his cheek. Because it was getting to winter months, he was bulky. Not fully round, but not fully muscular, yet. You loved him any other way, but were pleased that you got to have both for your first time. You wanted to remember everything clearly, and not be in a heat induced mess where fingers and hazy memories of being alone was your only companion.

“Alright, Darlin’. Tonight. I’ll head home and get ready, alright? I’ll meet you in your hut.” You agreed and the both of you parted ways temporarily. Your heart pounded and you felt slick pool out at the images you had stored in your head that built up for the last three years.

Night fell slower than you’d like, but you took the opportunity to clean your hut, make your nest comfortable, and even made stew. You were more excited than nervous. You trusted him, you knew that when the morning came, you’ll have a bonding mark, letting everybody know that he was yours, and you were his. Time crawled slowly, letting you think upon other things.

Would he want kits? You could easily imagine little cubs looking exactly like him and you, and to be honest, you didn’t mind at all. He’d be a great father, but you weren’t with him because of that. Oh no, you loved him, and your body, although not knowing it yet, will too.

You opened the door to the slow and steady knocking. He was standing there, eyes locking onto yours as you let him in without a sound.

“Would you like supper, first?” You asked. You had already eaten, but you didn’t know if he had or not. He shook his head.

“Honestly, Darlin’? I’m ready for desert.” He exclaimed while staring directly at you with a tone dark with lust. It was a newer side of him than you’ve seen, and you liked it. There was hardly any words when you led him into your nest. He had asked if you were sure about this, and you reassured him that you were more than willing. Your head was clear, and more than likely he would spend the next week with you during your heat. Your lustful hunger had been put off for way too long, and you were more than willing to share it with somebody who cares about you.

...Smut:

When you closed and locked the door, he stared at you with such a lustful gaze, you felt slick leak out. He must have smelled it, for his eyes dilated.

“I’m different when I’m in the mood, Darlin’. I’m still me, but my instincts are screamin’ at me to bend you over and fuck you full of my cum. One last chance, are you sure?” He growled out, and you all but crooned.

“I’m sure, Tai. I trust you.” You admitted, and that was all he needed to hear. Although gently, he pushed you down onto your feathered bedding, towering over you as he stared at you like a man starved. His eyes glowed under the moonlight. Your hand cupped his face gently, and he bent down to kiss you. Kissing was something new to you, and he probably could tell. He’d lick your lips, and you’d instinctively granted entry. He was warm and soothing and coaxed you to swirl your tongue over his as he lightly sucked onto yours.

You broke away from air, only for him to tug off his clothes quickly, and then tugging off of yours. You wished it was a little slower, but you enjoyed the sight. His fat and muscles glistened with sweat underneath the moonlight, and you couldn’t love it more. What caught your eyes, however, was his erection. It was fat and heavy, and leaking pre-cum onto your bedding. You never saw one up close, but you already wanted to taste it.  

“You’re beautiful.” You found yourself admit, and his eyes reached you with warmth.

“As are you, Sweetheart. Honestly, how did I get so lucky?” He murmured as he decided that the two of you needed to continue, and you were on board with that.

You all but gasped as he took a nipple within his mouth, swirling it as he stared into your eyes with an almost cocky smirk. His other hand reached out to your other nipple, and gently rolled it between his thumb and forefinger. It was a new experience, feeling his rough calloused hands do that to you. You knew you were sensitive there, but never indulged too much time because other areas cried for your attention during heat. He sucked eagerly, rolling it around with his tongue, only to let go and gently blow cool air onto your bud. You gasped and he chuckled.

“A little sensitive, Dearest?” He gently teased, but you nodded anyway. Your lower half was aching. You didn’t want to rush the experience, but your self control was withering.

“Taishiro.” You let out a whine. He all but laughed at your expense.

“A little eager, aren’t we?” A darker tone filled with lust was replacing his normal tone, and you and your instincts loved it.

“My little slutty bunny wants to be eaten out, huh?” His voice sent a fire to your loins. You didn’t care what he called you, the both of you knew that was instinct, and it did set you alight. So you nodded anyway as you found your legs being separated with his face in between them, staring at your sex as if it was his favorite meal. You whined.

“What a pretty flower, you’ve got there, Sugar.” Was your only warning as you felt his hot mouth onto you. You crooned with relief and surprise. How did he know how to do this? You didn’t mind his past, he was forever yours, now, but it still had you wondering. His hot tongue rubbed against your clit a little roughly, and you felt his hand lift from your breast, and soon you felt a thick digit enter you. His hands were calloused and bigger than yours, and so the stretch was odd, but you wanted more.

You moved your hips gently with the thrusts of his fat finger as he slowly added more, eyeing you with a raw hunger. His mouth left your opening and you let out a low whine. He kissed your thigh gently as he added a third finger, stretching you out as you moved against him, liking the feel of the foreign burn.

“You’re so tight, squeezin’ onto my fingers, drippin’ pre-cum and ruining yer bed like a wanton whore.” You hear him all but growl. You felt yourself tighten with those words and looked away in embarrassment as he chuckled darkly. You couldn’t help it!

“Ya like dirty talk, huh?” He growled out a whisper as he pulled his fingers abruptly out of you and ignored your moan of protest. He continued, pulling you onto his lap, rubbing his erect member against your clit as he growled out the remaining words that you wanted to hear.

“You wanna bounce on my cock, Baby? Lemme fuck yer cervix? Fuck you roughly through your orgasm and paint your womb white with my cum? Huh?” He breathed hotly into your ear, and you had to keep yourself from cumming then and there as you clung to him with desperation. You whimpered. This is what you’ve been wanting for so long, and you were so happy that it was with Taishiro. You weren’t scared that this was your first time, and knew that your body could take him. You wanted your body to take him, and so you nodded.

“Alright, Darlin’.” His voice was softer now as he laid you gently upon your bedding as he stared down at you with a gentle yet feral look. You knew that he’d been putting this off as long as you had, and was desperate. Unlike his dirty talk, his behavior was sweet as he kissed you gently, holding onto you as you felt the head of his cock slowly enter you.

You kept yourself still as you felt your walls envelop the large intruder. It didn’t hurt like you thought it would, but it did leave a pleasurable burning stretch that you weren’t sure to make of at first. Your eyes were locked onto his as he eyed your expression. He then came to a stop, resting flushed against your skin.

“You doin’ okay, Darlin’?” He asked hoarsely, and you nodded.

“It feels a little weird, but it doesn’t hurt.” You admitted. His muscles stiffened as he looked at you with surprise. You were confused at his expression, and then it hit you. He didn’t know of your inexperience, and you just assumed that he’d know.

“Oh, Dearest, had I known-” You cut him off by kissing him. You didn’t want him to think, right now. All you wanted was to make love.

“Move.” You ordered.

“So demanding.” He chuckled, but complied as he gently rolled his hips, grasping at the nest as he eyed your expression with such intensity. You knew that he was holding himself back for you, and honestly, it was sweet. Yet, you wanted him to enjoy himself, too.

“Taishiro, I’m not hurting. It feels-Ah!-Good. Mmh-I want you to…” Your eyes looked downwards for a second while he looked at you confused. Then you looked up at him dead in the eye as you finished your sentence.

“I want to bounce on your cock.” At this, he stilled so fast that you thought he had stopped functioning, and then with a feral growl unlike you ever heard before, he pulled you up onto his lap.

“I was trying to be gentle, Baby, but since you’re such a little slut, I think you should fuck yourself on me.” He growled darkly as he aimed a sharp thrust, burying deeper inside you and you all but screamed with ecstasy as you felt his dick hit a special spot within you.

“Oh? Was that your spot? You gonna let me fuck you, or are you gonna bounce?” He then moaned as you tried your best to meet his erratic thrusts. You all but keened as his mouth latched onto a nipple that belonged to your bouncing breasts, harshly sucking on it as his other hand roughly groped your other breast. This was what your nirvana felt like as your walls began to tighten.

Refusing to come first, he then pulled out. Any amount of protest you had, was stifled as he turned you around harshly, bare ass in the air and your face muffled within the nest. His hands gripped at your hips tightly as he thrusted in, now with fervor. His weight laid heavy on your back as he breathed into your ear, talking dirty. You crooned, because this angle was newer and you felt the heaviness of his dick plow into you better.            

         “Fuckin’ virgin wouldn’t allow me to take this slow,” He nipped at your ear through heavy breathes. “I love you so damned much. I’m going to make you ride my dick slowly next time, and you’re going to enjoy the slow intimacy, yeah?” A rush of touched warmth enveloped you as you nodded, trying to focus on cumming.

“I love you-Ah! More!” You breathed out. He let out a laugh as one of his hands reached under to rub your clit.

“Oh, Baby, the shit you do to me.” He growled for the umpteenth time. You couldn’t help it. Your walls clenched tightly as you heard him curse, and the best orgasm in your life hit you hard. You screamed out his name through the white haze of euphoria. When your senses came to, his hips fastened their pace as he suddenly gripped both of your hips hard, stilled, and felt sharp teeth clamp tight around your scent gland as he came harshly. You felt him spurt his come into you as he held you down.

His hips were now gently pumping in and out of you, letting the last spurts of his cum be released inside as he licked your wound apologetically. You couldn’t see it, but you already loved it. He gingerly pulled out of you, flopping right next to you as he pulled you close to his chest. The two of you were quiet for a while as you snuggled within his chest, feeling your erratic heartbeat calm down as his slowed.

“No, I love you more.” He countered, and you couldn’t help but laugh.

……………………………….

I think this is my most favorite fic that I’ve ever written, and one of the longest omg.