#the anime robbed her of her leadership and turned her into joke most of the time

[tochisuru]

this is just a casual reminder that my sa//ilor v//enus is extremely manga-based.

[princeasimdiya12]

That anon is an asshole. Why do you hate Shuichi? I think he fits the theme of truth and lies, but his character development is a complete joke as he has zero struggles after his waifu dead. He never once second guess his actions in class trials and doesn’t even think of major consequences (killing the de facto prime minister and not noticing a serial killer is amoung them). His stans over analyze his actions and try to justify everything he does.

They were quite a jerkhole. I can imagine that most stans would be protective of their favorite characters if anyone were to express disapproval.

And thank you for giving me the opportunity to express my personal feelings on the matter anon. And those are some interesting reasons to dislike him but I have some other reasons.

My answers will be hidden under the “Read More” because they’re long answers. But these are my thoughts and reasons for why I hate Shuichi Saihara.

Reason 1: The Protagonist Switch was Lackluster

Right off the bat, I personally dislike that we were promised a unique and compelling protagonist like Kaede only to switch her with a generic insecure protagonist like Saihara. The use of the protag switch isn’t a bad plot twist and it can be clever, it’s just that the result of switching Kaede for someone like Saihara left a bad taste in my mouth.

I loved Kaede because she was unique as a DR protagonist. Along with having a colorful design and talent, she was assertive, confident and willing to take charge. She was actively involved in the story by stepping up as the group’s de facto leader and trying to motivate them. She was also flawed in the sense that she was quick to butt heads with others and she didn’t completely trust others or practice her own beliefs of trusting in friends. And personally, I’m not even upset that she tried to kill someone. It’s still considered something different for a DR protagonist to do, especially if it was for the greater good. 

But when we get Saihara, he continues the trend of being a generic sad boy who feels insecure about his talents and wants to be stronger. Most of his screentime is spent moping about his problems and how he doesn’t feel good enough. He doesn’t have the same presence as Kaede and just stays in the background while the rest of the cast move the story as much as they can.

In all honesty, if they had introduced Saihara as the new protagonist, or at least make it so that his predecessor wasn’t as compelling as Kaede, then I wouldn’t have been too upset. At the very least I wouldn’t have gotten my hopes up for a protagonist who was actually different compared to the past protags.

Reason 2: Waifus In Refrigerators 

For those that don’t know, fridging is the concept of (brutally) killing off a fictional female character in order to create an emotional impact for her male love interest and his character development.

Kaede’s death and how it impacted Saihara is textbook fridging.

I strongly detest fridging since it robs a female character of her agency and role in the story. It treats her as a tool meant to motivate her male love interest to either avenge her death or grow as a person. Kaede’s death along with her final wish is what pushes Saihara to try and beat the killing game. And from then on, Saihara will take the moment to reflect on Kaede’s tragic end and how he inspired him with her kindness. Kaede loses her identity as a complex leader who was willing to commit murder for a greater good. Everyone just remembers her as Saihara’s innocent dead love interest who inspired him to keep on fighting. It’s also worse in the 6th case when it’s revealed that Tsumugi took advantage of Kaede’s trap to kill Amami which further pushes Kaede into the image of an innocent angel that did no wrong.

And it’s also frustrating since this isn’t the only time that the Danganronpa series has killed off its female characters in order to develop their male love interests.

In SDR2, Peko dies trying to save Fuyuhiko which in turn motivates him to stop acting like a jerkhole and be more cooperative with the group.

In DR3 Future Side, Chisa is the first victim of the killing game which pushes her boyfriend Munakata to become a more direct antagonist towards Naegi for protecting the Remnants.

In the same series, Kyoko allows herself to be poisoned in order to protect Naegi. It’s through her death that Naegi decides to confront Munakata in a final showdown. And while Kyoko does get brought back to life at the end of the show, it should be noted that she was only brought back just to be part of Naegi’s happy ending package. She loses her agency and is brought back just to be his newly revived girlfriend.

In DR3 Despair Side, Chiaki is brutally killed in order for her classmates to become Remnants of Despair. But it’s her final heartwrenching moments with Izuru that inspire emotion inside of him aswell as deciding to turn against Junko.

So Kaede being killed for Saihara’s development is the fifth fridging example in this series and it sucks that Kodaka and his crew rely on this trope throughout Danganronpa.

Reason 3: The Narrative Forces You To Like Him

Another issue that I found irritating about Saihara is how everyone began praising him.

Just after the first case, everyone constantly praises and coddles Saihara for being such a great detective and for growing so much. For me, that praise feels undeserving since he barely did anything to earn it. Thinking back to each of the past protagonists, they didn’t have everyone’s respect in the beginning. They each had to work had and face adversity throughout their stories in order to earn their praise and respect. Even Kaede, who despite being a confident leader, had to deal with people frequently judging her leadership and actions. So I find it questionable that Saihara already earned everyone’s respect after solving only one case. 

By having all the characters praise Saihara, the narrative pushes you to accept him as the new protagonist and recognize how awesome it is to have him. But for me, it just makes me dislike him even more. I refuse to like something just because everyone else does and it won’t take away my admiration/love for Kaede.

It’s also jarring since anytime a character has the spotlight, it somehow has to involve Saihara.

“Wow Himiko! You’re much more expressive now than before. Just like you Saihara!”

“Man, it sounds like you had a harsh life growing up Harumaki. Just like you and your detective work, eh Shuichi?”

The narrative can’t help but force Saihara to be around and praised by the people around him despite the spotlight not being on him in that given moment. 

Reason 4: He’s Not a Good Detective

While Saihara’s role as a detective may fit the theme of Truth and Lies, that doesn’t mean he was good at the job. My issue being that he was unproductive and biased for the role.

While he did set up that trap in Chapter 1 to catch the mastermind, he doesn’t do anything as proactive in the later chapters. He spent most if not all of his time going to training with Kaito and moping about his problems. It goes on like this for 4 chapters and it takes Kiibo threatening to blow up the school before he actually gets to work on solving the mystery of the killing game. As a detective, you’d think he would put more effort into actually solving the mysteries of the killing game or try to put some thought on who the mastermind could be.

The biased part comes with how he interacts with others and how he’s more critical of people based on how they treat him. Saihar has a tendency to be very judgmental towards the students and doesn’t look at the entire picture. 

He writes off Ouma as the embodiment of lies and doesn’t bother trying to learn more about him or his true motivations. 

And on the opposite side, he openly praises his friends while blatantly ignoring the problematic things they’d done throughout the story. 

He considers Kaede to be an inspirational role model despite how she betrayed him and wanted to commit murder behind his back.

He worships Kaito and treats him as a perfect hero despite never noticing his ongoing illness or the fact that Kaito didn’t trust his friends enough to reveal his own insecurities.

He deems Maki a reliable friend despite the fact that she went behind his and everyone’s back in order to kill Ouma and was willing to gamble everyone else’s lives if it meant taking revenge on the supreme leader.

Shouldn’t a detective be more persistent when presented with a mystery while also acknowledging all the sides (both good and bad) of a given person? If his personal bias was treated as a flaw by the narrative, then that would actually give his character significant depth. Especially if he worked on managing his biases and learning to acknowledge all the sides. But it isn’t treated as a bad problem.

For me, the fact that he’s supposed to be a detective who “grows stronger” and is so good at his job despite all of this really rubs me the wrong way. If anything, it shows me that he’s really bad at the job.

Also, I would like to bring up that I don’t count him investigating the murder cases as being a good detective. Why? Because Hajime and his class in SDR2 were able to solve their class trials without a detective figure. Being a detective, or having one, doesn’t make solving the class trials any easier.

Reason 5: An Unnecessary Cliche

Personally, I really see no reason for why Saihara’s character needed to be the generic insecure protagonist for this particular installment of Danganronpa. It’s the same cliche storyline featured in a grand majority of anime and light novels. It’s repetitive and irritating knowing that so many stories focus primarily on a sad generic boy who doesn’t feel good enough and wants to be stronger. 

It’s also worth mentioning that in comparison, the past protagonists at least had narrative reasons for why they were generic and insecure in the first place.

For Naegi, he was the first protagonist of the installment and his normalcy was meant to contrast the extremely talented and radically different students he’d be involved with. As the game progresses, he uses his normalness to bond with the students and rally them together in the name of hope.

For Hajime, he’s treated as a deconstruction of the generic insecure protagonist. It’s because his feelings of inferiority and longing to be special that he decides to accept Hope’s Peak’s experimentation and become Izuru Kamakura: an incredibly talented super-being who lost his humanity.

For Komaru, she was regarded as an ordinary girl that had the potential to lead others which is recognized by the adult resistance and Monaca. So throughout the game, both sides were pushing her into becoming either the next symbol of Hope like Naegi or next symbol of despair like Junko. But she ultimately decides to be neither of them and wants to be her own person.

There were reasons for why each of these protagonists were considered generic and insecure as it contributed to the narratives. But for Saihara, there’s really no solid reason for why he’s the only normal one of the V3 cast. And everyone is more than happy to praise him as the best one out of the cast despite doing so little to earn it. At most, Tsumugi reveals that Saihara being an insecure boy who grew stronger thanks to his friends was for the sake of a fictional storyline. Obviously it was meant to mentally break him but it honestly feels like a weak reason to keep the trend of a generic insecure sad boy. Not to mention there are other reasons for why I believe this doesn’t work.

The setup for the “Danganronpa is a fictional TV show” twist didn’t have enough buildup so it doesn’t make the cliche that strong.

Saihara still continues the role of the insecure boy who grows strong and saves the day. While Tsumugi states that his role was written for him, Saihara still continues the tropes of his archetype by saving the day. It’s ultimately because of him that he’s able to convince his friends and the viewing audience to give up on Danganronpa. It was the writer’s way of having their cake and eating it.

If the reveal was meant to be a shot at how it’s become a cliche, then why not live up to it? If they wanted to show how Danganronpa was running for too long or how it’s cliches were getting old, then why not commit to those ideas? Instead of having everyone praise and worship Saihara, make them question if they’re really going to depend on a generic guy to save them. Instead  of being just a cute quirk, actually show the negative sides of Saihara’s anxiety and depression and how they would hinder him from participating in trial discussions. Maybe even have Kaito lose his temper at Saihara because of how much he mopes around.

There’s so many ways they could have gone with deconstructing Saihara’s stereotype or showcasing how it’s become old and stale. So it feels disappointing that they never went that far.

And another reason for why I dislike his characterization is because it brings to mind Ryota Mitarai from the DR3 anime. Just like Saihara, Mitarai is a main character who’s described as generic, insecure and spends most of his time whining about how useless he is. Despite this, he manages to survive the killing game since the other more unique characters are killed or move the events of the story. I personally found Mitarai to be a frustrating character. I detest characters who constantly whine about how useless or miserable they are as a means of getting sympathy from the audience. So having to deal with Saihara who more or less shares multiple characteristics with Mitarai felt very exhausting.

Conclusion

So those would be my reasons for why I hate/strongly dislike Saihara. I can admit that alot of these reasons weren’t so much because of Saihara or his actions but how he was written throughout the story. He still did alot of things I didn’t like don’t get me wrong, but alot of fault can be traced to the writers and how they decided to write him and Kaede’s characters. I still find his archetype as a generic insecure boy who mopes around to be an unappealing archetype but I’m sure most of his fans would suggest otherwise.

If you’ve managed to read everything here, I’d like to thank you for taking the time to do so. I can’t imagine many people would want to read a critical post targeted towards one of the most beloved characters in Danganronpa. So thank you for doing so.

And as always, if you agree or disagree with anything I’ve written, you’re more than welcome to reblog this with your comments. I’m always up for friendly discussions. 

[gibelwho]

Top 5: Directorial Debuts

This Top 5 reviews Directorial Debuts, considering the film that was the opening gambit in a director’s career. The requirements for this list are straightforward - the films considered must be full length and had a theatrical run, so short films (although oftentimes a way into the business for directors) were not counted and neither were made for TV movies. Additionally, this list is considering films that were directed by a single person, so first films with co-director’s were not considered (although some fantastic films fall into this category, such as On the Town or Monty Python and the Holy Grail). The final consideration, although not a firm requirement, was that this first film was an opening artistic achievement that became a launching point for a notable and long career to follow.

Gibelwho Productions Presents Directorial Debuts:

5. Spike Jonze / Being John Malkovich

4. Rob Reiner / This is Spinal Tap

3. Pete Doctor / Monsters, Inc.

2. Alex Garland / Ex Machina

Rob Marshall / Chicago

Spike Jonze / Being John Malkovich (1999): This film was not only the theatrical directorial debut for music video savant Spike Jonze, but was also the first feature penned by the now acclaimed screenwriter Charlie Kaufman. Their appreciation for bizarre storylines and unique artistic sensibilities combined to make a mark on the cinematic landscape of Hollywood and opened the doors for both to careers that continue to tell non-traditional stories. Jonze had to contend with a confounding script, but managed to keep the audiences engaged with the twists and turns, and also tuned into the emotional journeys of his main players, including a representation of real-life actor John Malkovich himself. The film is filled with memorable visual sequences, including an office floor with cramped ceilings, John Malkovich’s point of view shot when ordering bath towels, and the incredible mind-bending sequence when John Malkovich enters the portal into his own mind, encountering a world filled with multiple John Malkovichs.

Rob Reiner / This is Spinal Tap (1984): Not only is Rob Reiner’s first feature a hilarious mixture of conceits with a generous helping of improvisation from comedic actors, but it also launched an entirely new genre - the mockumentary. To keep the documentary feel, Reiner produced a mix of shooting styles, including hand-held cinema-verite style, titles to introduce band members, creating black and white faux television “archival” footage, traditional documentary interview footage, and also capturing onstage theatrics. While most of the humor is in the actor’s improvised lines, the camera is not just silently observing, but also gets into the jokes and elevates the gags with visual commentary. With this film, Reiner transitioned from an actor to an established director and continued into a fabulous career that dipped into a multitude of different genres, producing several films now considered modern classics.

Pete Doctor / Monsters, Inc. (2001): While Toy Story was the original revolutionary release from the new animation studio Pixar (also with a first time director), Monsters, Inc. earns its place on this list because of the genius of Pete Doctor. The film was the fourth feature from Pixar, and the first to be helmed by a director other than John Lasseter. Pixar’s legacy (and now future, as he has assumed the role of Chief Creative Officer at Pixar following Lasseter’s exit for inappropriate behavior), was in safe hands with Doctor, who has consistently produced the Pixar films with the most unique conceits and beloved characters. This all started with his story development and leadership on Monsters, Inc., a film that achieved technical advancement with the realistic rendering of monster Sulley’s fur, but also one of the most breathtaking action sequences Pixar has ever envisioned, involving the hunt for little Boo’s bedroom door amongst a cavalcade of children’s doors, all swirling around madly in the warehouse storage space. Doctor’s first effort at Pixar produced a delightful tale, proving that Pixar could still herald the magic when the reigns were handed to other directors, and setting him up for more delightful classics to be directed.

Alex Garland / Ex Machina (2014): Alex Garland transitioned from a successful screenwriting career to directing with this astonishing piece of art - intellectual, challenging, visually stunning, and with a twisting plot that ensures the audience is on the edge of their seat throughout the film’s runtime. The screenplay was especially tight, as to be expected from a writer of Garland’s quality, but his work behind the camera was also incredibly solid, playing with the various textures of the setting’s remote mansion’s stone, wood, metal, and glass and also with the robot Ava’s combination of machine metal and human flesh. Garland expertly uncoils a new element in each conversation, scene, and session, slowly expanding the audience's understanding of the world and motivations of each character, until an explosive ending that revels in a woman taking control of her own destiny.

Rob Marshall / Chicago (2002): What are the odds that a directorial debut revitalizes the musical genre for a modern audience - and then goes on to win the Academy Award? Rob Marshall’s background as a dancer and choreographer masterly transferred to the filmmaking space - expertly conceiving the musical numbers (and entire film!), using all the tools at a filmmaker's disposal that a live theatrical experience cannot - camera composition such as close ups, crafting pacing through editing cuts, and matching sound to image. In the best tradition of Bob Fosse, newly minted director Rob Marshall set his mark upon the filmmaking landscape and brought back musicals as a viable avenue for the industry - a popular success at both the box office and amongst critical circles. Plus the film is so damn fun, with inspired performances by Renee Zellweger and Catherine Zeta-Jones as the two murderers on death’s row that just want to make it in show business. Each number tops the next and (with the small exception of Richerd Gere’s tepid singing and dancing skills) are executed with such spirit and razzle dazzle. And all that jazz!

Honorable Mentions:

Orson Welles / Citizen Kane (1941): For the movie that is consistently hailed as the greatest cinematic film ever to be made, it is quite amazing that it was created by a first time director who also cast himself as the lead role. After Orson Welles notorious stunt with the radio broadcast of The War of the Worlds (which caused mayhem as many in the public believed the play was in fact news outlets reporting actual happenings), Hollywood courted this untried director, giving him immense freedom inside the usually structured studio system. The result was a film that experimented with cinematography, editing, writing and narrative structure - all which have since been hailed as innovative leaps forward in the conception and construction of filmmaking. While the film at the time was a box office flop, Welles left his indelible mark on the industry after the promotion of his efforts by the celebrated French film critic and auteur theory supporter Andre Bazan in Cahiers du Cinema. The film can be a bit rough to the tastes of modern audiences, including the exaggerated performance style, but its technical achievements are not to be missed.

Frank Darabont / The Shawshank Redemption (1994): Another film that did middling during its initial box office run, but has since achieved the status of cult and critical favorite, came from the creative spirit of Frank Darabont, who adapted a Stephen King novella and, by sticking to his resolution to lead the film, was eventually given the chance to direct the feature. With a tight screenplay, phenomenal performances by Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman, and cinematography by the masterful Roger Deakins - it flourished in the rental market and endured to become one of the highest rated films across many critical lists.  

Andrew Niccol / Gattaca (1997): Another writer / new director’s debut contains provocative ideas and powerful imagery paired with striking production design. It is incredible what Andrew Niccol accomplished on a smaller budget, all in service of the story’s dystopian future that feels as though it could be only a few generations away from our own time, where genetics determine a human’s entire future and those who were conceived naturally are condemned to live as a lower caste. The human’s desire to improve their lot in life and explore the universe comes in direct conflict with how science can be used to create fissures in society, enabling human expansion to space, but also limiting a single human’s rights and liberties. Grand ideas and grand design are the drapery for a compelling human story. 

Upcoming

Lin-Manuel Miranda /  tick, tick...Boom! (TBD): Based on the first stage musical by Jonathan Larson, this will be Lin-Manuel Miranda’s first foray into the directorial seat. Since the debut of the smash hit Hamilton, his career has been expanding by leaps and bounds, but he has taken a studied, measured approach to stepping into the director’s role. Miranda cited one reason for signing on to the Mary Poppins Returns movie as a chance to study under the masterful Rob Marshall, receiving a front row seat to a masterclass from one of the best filmmakers to capture musical theater in the cinematic format. Miranda himself was part of a theatrical production of tick, tick...Boom! earlier in his career, so he is very familiar with the material (although the screenplay will need to significantly expand the set of characters from a modest three to include the many roles that have been cast). Unfortunately, at the time of writing, due to the pandemic, filming has shut down; but once they have resumed and the film has a chance to see the light of day on Netflix, I will be eagerly awaiting one of my most beloved musicals to come to life through Miranda’s nascent directorial vision.

[theonceoverthinker]

Why Pan Continues to Rock My Socks

Pan is my favorite OUAT villain and writing out why is something that has me so nervous.

...I hope I can PAN-dle it! XD

As I just said, Pan is my favorite OUAT villain, but more than that, I think he’s a master class on how to write a good villain overall. His framing, use of screen time, and the note he leaves out on are so good that I couldn’t just highlight it in the reviews I’ve been doing throughout my rewatch of the series. He frankly deserves better.

So I wanted to do that here!

Well, without any further adieu, let’s get rolling!

First, let’s talk about Pan and his dynamics. Good villains simply connect to other characters. This can be portrayed through a prior history or a thematic connection and Pan has the benefit of having at least one of these types of connections to almost every single main. Snow and Charming may be the sole exceptions to this (Though let’s be real, if Neverland was even one or two episodes longer, he would’ve gotten to them), but Pan’s understandings of the main characters, their shared history, and how diametrically opposed to them thematically he is is brought up in most every episode. Obviously, he’s Rumple’s father, had Killian working for him, and knew Bae for a long time as a lost boy. But that all just scratches the surface of what he brings to the table. He exploits the tropes that Henry’s selflessly used for two seasons now for his own selfish purposes, knowing that Henry will fly towards them like a bug to a zapper. Pan’s understanding of Killian’s past selfishness clashes with Killian’s growth into a more selfless person, and while it doesn’t...PAN out in the way he expects it to (These are the jokes, people), they leave a narrative tension. With Regina, Pan’s regret but not remorse over abandoning Rumple clashes with Regina’s remorse but not regret for all of her misdeeds. Emma’s hesitant jump into leadership is undermined by Pan every step of the way, making her eventual triumph all the more satisfying. And of course, the big dynamic is that between himself, Rumple, and Neal. Neal has the emotional strength to take down Pan, but not the magical and Rumple has the magical strength to take down Pan but not the emotional strength due to the distrust he’s accumulated and his cowardice. Pan knows this and exploits it like a video game hacker with a copy of Super Mario Bros. There’s a reason why I loved “Nasty Habits” so much. Like, Neal and Rumple actually take down Pan and get Henry. They actually almost win, but Pan knows their issues and just what buttons to press to make them vulnerable AND makes it so that they won’t have that chance of victory again by dividing the two of them physically and emotionally through retelling the prophecy to Neal AND Rumple. I emphasize “AND” because that distrust, as pointed out by several characters, awakens that self-preservation habit in Rumple. THIS is incredible character work, work that only a character like Rumple’s father with a physical power equal to Rumple’s could get and it’s what makes him so good!

Second, let’s talk about Pan’s performance. Robbie Kay gives such charisma to Pan’s character, bringing him to life. Pan  was a difficult role to take on. They needed someone relatively young to pull off being scary AND charming. It can be easy to pull off one of these, but both for the same character in such a natural way isn’t something you see everyday. Robbie portrays Pan as the kind of person a kid would want to follow and trust, a leader, a little shit, a menace, and a monster. There are big shifts between those types of roles, ranging from very big shifts to subtle ones and Robbie gets them all!

Before we get to point three, this is getting close to obnoxiously long, so if you’re liking this, join me below the cut!

Third, let’s talk about mythos. Part of OUAT’s bread and butter are their different takes on fairy tale characters. And for Peter Pan, this was arguably the biggest deviation they had for the time. I don’t know if it’s a better twist than Red being the wolf, but I will say it took BALLS to make Peter Pan, a symbol of Disney and the star of one of the parks’ longest running attractions, a villain. But they did it and I think that because of that risk, A&E were especially careful here to get it right. Not only was Pan and his backstory recreated, but also his dynamics to every single character in the Peter Pan mythos. I won’t list them out here, but everything was turned on its head, but appropriately so.

Fourth, let’s talk about his impact on our mains within themselves. Prior to Season 3, our heroes and villains were pretty firmly divided. Even though situations had been resolved together, often, everyone was working for a different cause and against each other. The biggest example is Regina acting against the Charmings. However, Pan changed this. Pan was such a threatening villain that for once, while not always in full agreement on how to defeat, everyone was on the same page over the fact that Pan DID need to be defeated. This is what makes season 3 so satisfying. With the exception of the entirety of “Into the Deep” and the end of “Queen of Hearts,” we’ve never had this before and even then, there were more characters incorporated here like Belle, Neal, and Killian. Every episode involved working together in some way and even the two episodes without straight-up plot progression never felt that way because of all of the character work that stemmed from a common stem: Defeating Pan.

Fifth, Pan is just a fucking villain by design. While it’s not necessarily a bad thing to have a villain make a shift in allegiances mid-show without much setup, I’ve always preferred an understanding of the abstract design of a character going in. It shows an understanding of who this character is and what the audience should expect out of them. With Pan, he was a irredeemable villain from the start. There’s never been an iota of hope for his redemption. Honestly, just like we’ll see with Cruella next season, it’s SO satisfying to have that simplicity. It allows for there to be more fun with what they can do and how they react to it. Pan’s not sympathetic: That’s why his backstory episode is from Rumple’s POV. BUT what he is is engaging. Pan is a villain we like to see. He’s like the animated Gaston. We love to hate him. I also want to point out that while an irredeemable villain, the writers never made Pan do anything that took him out of that zone of engagement. He never had an “Eloise Gardener” moment like Gothel did and that worked to his benefit. He still did and said horrible things, but they were never horrible in a way that took viewers out of the experience.

Finally, let’s talk about how he goes out. I’ll talk about this more when we hit 5B, but one of the worst mistakes OUAT ever made was bringing Pan back in the Underworld Arc in the way that they did. Pan died in such a big way that showed how powerful of a character he was. His death killed a major character in the process and left behind a curse that could only be reversed by separating Emma and Henry from their family forever. In the Underworld Arc...he’s just there...defeated by Rumple in a shameless manner that robs Pan of some of his intelligence and dignity. In Neverland, they were basically evenly matched and Rumple won for a reason relating to emotion and love, something Pan couldn’t sympathize with. In the Underworld...he was just sneaky, depriving the dynamic of so much (But not all) of its emotional resonance. Pan left 3A with a ten minute long emotional fireworks display and the effects of said fireworks display held on for nearly half a season longer.

There’s a reason why many say “Coming Home” could have been a series finale for so many people. Pan scared the series (And I say that in the best way possible) in a way that only what amounted to an effective reset (One that led to a polarized audience until the end of the series) could fix. His mark was a pinnacle in a lot of ways in terms of what the show (And villains) could do with character work, its blending of mythos between old and new counterparts of classic characters, and the effects that a single character -- even a one off -- can leave.

I hope I did a good job explaining myself on Pan. He ticks off every box in how to write an effective villain and his adoration and lasting impact on the series is well deserved. Thank you for reading this bonus review and to the fine folks at @watchingfairytales for giving me a reason to revisit this character! For all of the readers of my reviews, I’ll see you in 3B!

Operation Rewatch Archives

[average-trickster]

VLD7 spoilers ahead:

I liked a lot of stuff about this season, but i hated a lot of it too: 

- Hunk finally has the arc he deserves, his characterization is extense and I’m really happy with how they portrayed it, he was awesome, Hunk brought the team together, his interactions with keith were great and he was really cute, hot and inspiring;  - Romelle was portrayed as a really relatable character and she was really fun to watch, I loved every scene she was in;  - Pidge also had their moments, their family had a lot of characterization, we gt to see they metting their family and it was sweet and meaningful, Pidge was really badass in a lot of scenes an it was awesome; Pidge wasreally really cute in the whole season too;

-KOSMOS WAS THE BEST BOY EVER, HOW DARE THEY HURT THE DOGGY, YOU DON’T HURT THE DOGGY;

- The art was amazing, I was baffled with it, everything looked so neat, the fighting scenes were so well animated, I was completely awestruck;

- Keith trusted Lacne to lead the team momentanly and it was sweet, Keith acknowledging Hunk was also one of the cutest parts of these season, Hunk deserved this;

 - So. Many. Hot. People. I was fauning after everyone, Allura was really hot, Romelle too, Hunk was soooo hot in some scenes, I was thirsting so bad guys. 

 - Shiro’s prosthetic was beautiful, it didn’t hide his disability, it made his disability an advantage and it was beautiful;

 - HUNK AND LANCE’S FAMILIES WERE SO BEAUTIFUL, I GOT SO EMOTIONAL ON THOSE PARTS;

 - The micy & kosmos saving everyone cause Coran is too much of a gorgeous man to work alone;

 - The paladins in their lions with their companies, Pidge highkEY ignoring everyone to play videogames and then having to deal with everyone’s nightmare xD;

 - Lance’s interactions with Romelle were adorable, she’s so funny;

 - Keith being able to have SHiro back was beautiful, I’m so happy for them;

 - VERONICA MCCLAIN WHERE DO I GET A PIECE OF THAT;

 - Shiro and Keith leadership scenes wer awesome, Keith has matured so much, I’m really pround of him;

 - Sam HOLT TAKING OVER EARTH;

 - tiny Keith was adorable and the first episode as really enjoyable, it felt like a follow up to season 6, it was meaningfull;  - Everything (plot wise) from ep 7 to the part where atlas randomly turns into a big-voltron was quickpaced but enjoyable,the earth episodes were the coolest of the whole show for me and I loved the traitor plot they put in there;  - The hinted at alien lesbians;  - Coran was so silly and cute, i loved him;  - The ‘‘lets torture pidge cause they are the weak of the team’‘ part was really cool and i loved it;  - The garrison cadets were awesome and I loved them all, (keith’s former bully was kind of a bitch, and his manerism gave me a lot of keith vibes but I liked him a bit) The mute undercut guy and the smart yellow freckled person were awesome and I loved themm. BUT  - The whole season was kind of a confusing development. The first episodes were really slow and boring, they wasted time on stuff that didn’t matter, the paladins randomly appeared on other planes of existence because of a space thing they didn’t even explain properly;  - The filler episode wasn’t nearly as enjoyable as the one in season 6, they called and portrayed Lance dumb, multiple times, when every other paladin did fairly well. The most enjoyable time was when they showed the importance every paladin had to each other and how all of them thought they mattered to each other (I don’t buy Keith’s bitching, actions are worth more than words);   - God Allura who came out with random convenient magic for every bad situation was really weird for me, has been since last season.. ressurecting lance and shiro, ending stuff with the power of quintenssence just because... well, it was kind of a low point for me;  - Again, Atlas wasn’t build to be a big voltron so it made absolutely no sense that it turned into one by God Shiro’s powers?;  - As a lowkey allurance shipper, that was really low for me because it came of nowhere. Allura didn’t like Lance like that, there were no signts, she was sad when she found out about his feelings, both Allura and Lance deserve better than that;  - Lance, in the last seasons had had almost no screen time at all, he has been made into a joke and it was no different this season. He had really good moments, Keith trusted him as a leader, Lance has really awesome in some moments but because we were promised screen time for Lance and because this has been going on for so long, I’m disappointed he didn’t got better;  - The Klance QueerBait: Im disappointed but not surprised; The one that hurt me the most was when they were drifting in space (for no good reason) Lance said Keith ‘’maybe shouldn’t have even came back’’ when Lance was the loneliest in the ship after Keith went away. Lance was utterly alone and felt the worst at those moments. I know it wasn’t from the heart but it hurted me and I don’t know how to deal with it given the rest of these last seasons;  - Acxa x Keith was the most disapointing thing I’ve ever seen, they had no interest on each other, they had no conection whatsoever, they have nothing between them and I really hope she’s Keith long los sister because if not, I’m not going to watch this happen;  - Shadam/Adashi: Well, voltron you really fucked up on this one.   I think the worst was how much you advertised this, you made us feel like we had a guaranteed gay relationship and then ripped it from us for what? shook value? When all the heterosexual relationships went fairly well? But you didn’t advertise these heterossexual realtionships like you did with adashi so what was the problem? Also, you could say it was not queerbait cause Shiro is still lgbt but why would you rob Shiro his fiancee? Like rena said on twitter, Shiro has suffered so much and everyone returned to their families, had their happy ending, but shiro has ptsd, was tortured, died, and returns home to be alone. You didn’t even say they were planning to get married on the show, if you didn’t watch the enterview, you wouldn’t even know they were planning on getting married. But no, his dead was fast and meaningless, he didn’t got anymore flashbacks, we got nothing else about him, you did’t spend more than 5 seconds mourning him, it was empty and careless. We don’t know anything else about adam, you used him to get your lgbt coverage and that’s why you queerbaited us. And you know what is so sad? You were there when some of us watched the first episode, you saw how happy we were about lgbt representation, you saw us yelling and crying in happiness and you ignored all of it and followed a trope we’ve been watching again and again and again and again.

You know, I wouldn’t have been so sad if there were at least some other interactions between them, or memories/flashbacks about them. But you used Adam as your head line when he became nothing but a footer line on the show. You advertised the relationship you knew would be the most important to us before destroying it And you know what hurts the most? You mourned and cared more for the white women that almost killed the entire human race by not listening & being arrogant that you did for Adam, the gay POC character that gave his life willingly and needlessly to save his planet. Her dead had so much intensity, she had time to speak and try to redem herself, she was made into a hero. We didn’t care about that bitch, she was a rules-lover, selfish women that didn’t know anything about zarkon or the galra but still thought Shiro & Sam & everyone else were wrong in how they were approaching the enemy. We all knew Zarkon would end earth with or without lions and she couldn’t accept that, she was an arrogant twat and you treated her like she was  the best person ever because she sacrificed herself after being proved wrong. And being cruel: I wonder what they told the families of the ones she, the hero,  send to their deaths when everyone told her it was the wrong decision.  You mourn that women like an hero, and you treat Adam, our hope for canon representation, the symbol of our identity, the hopes we had on this show since the begining, as a footer. I hope you give us something about Shadam/Adashi in next season, if you want us to stay, if you want us to respect you again. I’m more than happy with some flashbacks from Shiro and a deep meaningful conversation, I’m happy with anything that makes their gay relationship strictly visible because that what was you showed us was going to happen and that wasn’t what you gave us, you own us an apology. Shiro and Adam deserve better.

[jamesjohneye]

Prompts request #3

For @canoncannon , who once made me clap my hands and laugh out loud because she'd commented on my fic. One of my favorite authors.

Prompt: Jesus + Dare kissing him.

Title: Mortified

It’s easy enough to get out of his make-shift prison, easier still to break into the armory and check it out. The amount of weapons there makes his head spin. Rows and rows of automatic guns, a crate with grenades and boxes filled with bullets. There are radio’s, flashlights and flare guns, two crossbows, various knifes and machete’s. Batteries are charging in a corner, there’s a barrel filled with bolts.

He takes one out and twirls it around. It looks handmade.

With a small frown, Paul quietly slips out of the house again, heading to his next destination. The door to the garage rattles a bit when he pulls it up but he rolls under it and Alexandria sleeps on. Moonlight falls through the small windows, just enough to allow him to see the various shelves. Almost all are empty.

They’re running low on food, Paul realizes. It makes them less interesting as a trading partner for now but he knows that everything can change. Maybe their harvest will be spoiled, maybe the kingdom won’t be able to deliver, maybe these people hit a goldmine somewhere down the line. Or maybe Hilltop will need those weapons after all, if Gregory ever changes his mind.

Allies are more important now than ever.

He thinks about Rick Grimes, who had bound his hands together and had left him on the side of the road. Anyone else would have needed a couple of minutes working on those ropes, but they would have gotten away eventually. He hadn’t left him to die. Of course the ropes had been loose the second Rick had walked back to the truck, but that’s not the point.

He thinks about the boy, too. Daryl, who thinks he might be fifteen but isn’t sure. Strong and capable, obviously used to being Rick’s right hand man in tight situations. His youth had only showed when he’d mourned his smashed soda cans. He’d said it had been a request but Paul couldn’t be sure he had been telling the truth. He’d left him with a broken, half-empty can though. In case he got thirsty.

They hadn’t killed him. Hadn’t robbed him of his knives, leaving him defenseless with the dead. They hadn’t left him to die out there.

Paul wonders what the world has become that just that fact makes people good.

It’s time to find Rick Grimes. They should talk.

    He only knows that he’s in the right house when he picks the lock of a bedroom door, steps inside and spots the shadowy figure of Daryl on the bed. The boy is asleep, face turned towards the window, wild hair covering most of it. His mouth is slightly open, slack with relaxation. One of his hands is resting on the softness of his belly, fingertips dipping below his waistband of his jeans. The other hand is next to him on the pillow, fingers twitching in his sleep.

He’s still wearing his boots and belt. The large knife is almost hidden in the darkness, save for the soft gleam whenever the boy moves his hips.

Paul glances around the room.

There’s a faint smell of cigarettes lingering in the air.

His gaze falls on the magazine on the end of Daryl’s bed.

He turns around with a slight smirk playing around his lips and shakes his head a little as he moves towards the next room. Teenagers, he thinks. Some things never change.

    There is something utterly fascinating about Daryl Dixon, Paul decides when they pile back into the RV. Not even fifteen years old but fearless and determined. Sure of himself as he’d led his group from the wreckage to the right building where the people from Hilltop had been hiding. Grim determination in his eyes when he’d drawn his knife and taken his spot right behind Glenn.

When they’d first met, Paul had thought that the boy was Rick’s. Their easy banter and way of working together reminded him of family ties. The matching blue eyes turned out to just be coincidence. Of course he belongs to the man’s group, his family, but Paul smiles when he sees the boy with Maggie and Glenn.

The way Maggie will absent-mindedly adjust the backwards baseball cap while the boy eats his disgusting oatmeal cookie, or lick her finger before rubbing some dirt off his cheek. The boy barely notices even though he still looks a bit wary when Abraham claps him on the shoulder.

It’s even easier to see with Glenn. Their conversation flows easily, sometimes silently with glances and smirk and quirked eyebrows which will leave Daryl giggling silently while Glenn shakes his head fondly. Or the way Glenn nods at Maggie before they head into the building, a silent promise to look after their boy.

And Daryl did the same thing, having the man’s back.

They came out of the building, knives dripping with blood. Daryl had burst through the door first, a big grin on his face as he vaulted a small cabinet and looked up at the sun, soaking up its warmth. The rest had followed suit.

Less than ten minutes and the building had been cleared. When Paul had gone over to thank the teenager, he’d shrugged it off. There had only been ten walkers inside, no big deal.

He’d missed the look of pride Rick shot him as he trudged back to Maggie’s side.

And now he’s sitting with his family again, next to Maggie while talking animated about something. Blue eyes sparkling, the horror of dark building and walkers already forgotten.

The boy is tough and soft at the same time, Paul thinks. He’s fearless in the face of walkers but still ducks his head shyly when Harlan thanks him. The youthful innocence still lingering in his bones. It shines brightly when Daryl doesn’t understand a word and kicks Glenn’s boot to demand an explanation.

The fact that Glenn doesn’t need to ask what he wants makes Paul smile.

    It doesn’t take long before Paul sees Daryl in action himself.

One moment the boy’s eyes light up when he gushes about the fact that Hilltop has a cow, and the next moment he twists someone’s arm hard enough to break it. The eyes are dark and cold when he hears the bone snap and the guy scream in agony.

He doesn’t seem horrified when Rick slashes Ethan’s throat, or when his leader stands up, covered in blood to look around and check on his family. He just draws his gun and puts his foot on the man’s chest, mindful not to touch the broken arm but still pointing the weapon at his face.

When the situation is under control, the boy helps Abraham to his feet again.

‘You’re one tough son of a bitch, you know that? Thanks, kid,’ the burly man says as they clasp hands.

‘Ain’t no kid,’ Daryl counters.

And Paul fears he might be right.

    The process of creating a partnership with Alexandria is hard and Gregory is not making things easier at the moment.

Paul slowly walks up the staircase of Barrington House, one hand trailing over the banister. It’s been a long day. There’s so much going on at the moment. Rick’s new group and Gregory’s injury, their missing man who has been taking hostage, and Negan himself looming in the background. There are whispers about Gregory’s leadership he needs to address with his own people. There are people asking him about the runs, about the next shipment, about chores and tasks and everything else.

He needs some time to figure it all out.

So he heads up the staircase and then up another and another until he reaches the attic.

He’s surprised to find someone else sitting on his spot. Daryl Dixon, with his boots on the railing, sketchbook in his lap and pencil clenched between his teeth. The dark hair is kept out of his face by the backwards cap, faded due to the sun and almost black in the faint starlight. He’s doodling, rubbing his finger over the page to smudge a line, feet wobbling a bit to a tune that isn’t playing.

Fifteen, Paul marvels again because he can’t quite wrap his head around it. Not when he’s seen the boy break someone’s arm like it was nothing just a couple of hours ago.

A part of him wants to leave. The boy seems to be drowned in thought and Paul suspects he came up here for the same reason he has; for some peace and quiet. But he can’t help but be intrigued. He tells himself that he needs to get to know this new group better, that that is why he searches for something to say now.

He settles on something he has already figured out, curious about how much the boy will tell him himself.

‘So you’re Glenn’s,’ Paul says as he steps into the light of the moon and stars.

Daryl glances up warily. His eyes are small, little slits now that has narrowed them suspiciously. The shoulders are broad but curled in a little bit, his posture atrocious as he hunches over his sketchbook.

‘I didn’t know what to think when Maggie asked me for some paper and a pencil,’ Paul offers with a smile, trying to come across as friendly and harmless to soothe the boy’s nerves. ‘You like to draw?’

‘Yeah. Thanks.’ He looks down at his drawing and adds a detail in the right corner.

Curiosity drives Paul closer. He wants to see what the boy is drawing but doesn’t want to ask. So he sits down next to him, carefully watching his facial expression for any signs of hostility or even fear. There is none. The boy doesn’t look at him but keeps working on his drawing. He holds the pencil wrong but that doesn’t stop him from drawing fluid lines on the paper.

‘When I first saw you, I thought you were Rick’s,’ Paul says when he sits down. It’s true, of course, but the answer he gets surprises him.

‘Ain’t nobody’s no more.’

Unease creeps into Paul’s spine, making him grip the railing a little tighter. He’s not sure why that is. ‘Did something happen between you and Glenn?’

Daryl scoffs. ‘No. I just ain’t his, a’right? I’m a Dixon, just…. I’m a Dixon, not a Rhee, or Grimes or Ford or… not a Walsh, even. A Dixon.’

‘Abraham said you had a brother,’ he recalls. One that is old enough to drive, the man had joked. The other Dixon, so Paul guesses that it’s just the two of them now.

‘Yeah,’ Daryl looks down at his drawing, letting his pencil tap against the paper.

‘Blood matters, right?’ He hates himself a little for the stereotype the boy conjures in his mind, but the teenager seems to come from a family where those things still had great value. ‘You’re both Dixon’s, so…’

‘We always say that, right?’ Daryl bites out bitterly. ‘The most important thing; blood. But then shit happens and they know things and suddenly it doesn’t matter at all and you’re just… not, anymore.’

‘I’m not sure I understand,’ Paul says softly.

‘Pretty soon I won’t be a Dixon at all, I think. Just Daryl,’ he lets the pencil drag over the paper, creating a stark, jagged line over his drawing. ‘It don’t matter,’ he wipes his hair out of his face and glares at the stars, and then at Paul. ‘Stop stickin’ your nose in. Ain’t nothing to you.’

He still doesn’t understand but decides not to push the matter. There’s anxiety practically radiating from the teenager and Paul hates the way his mouth turns into a thin stripe as he presses his lips together. It almost makes him want to reach out and put a hand on his shoulder, telling him that whatever it is, it’ll be okay.

For a second he thinks about calling Glenn or Maggie up but he disregards that thought too.

‘Do you want me to leave?’ he asks instead.

‘No.’

The answer is short but said without hesitation. Paul is glad. He likes being up here and tells the boy why. To escape from everyone who wants something from him, to just have a moment to think. He’s always been that way. As much as he loves parties and dinners and get-togethers with his friends, he used to love spending time on his own, too. Just a couple of hours to recharge and be able to pull that smile off without looking like he is faking it.

It’s surprisingly easy to talk to Daryl. He listens, sharp eyes trained on him even though he doesn’t quite meet his eye. There’s shyness in the way his gaze flickers over his face before landing on his shoulder.

‘Why’d you do it then?’ he asks when Paul tells him that he was never really into all the social obligations.

‘Peer pressure,’ the scout shrugs. ‘Believe it or not; I’m actually very easy to like.’ He flashes the teenager a grin.

‘When you’re not stealing someone’s stuff.’

The spark of humor and teasing surprises Paul. He huffs out a breath of laughter as he watches how Daryl ducks his head shyly again. There’s a blush creeping up his neck and cheeks.

They talk about Paul’s fear of ending up alone but longing to be out there, without all these people wanting something from him. About the freedom that can’t be had inside walls like these.

‘I get it,’ Daryl says and Paul doesn’t doubt him.

A quiet ‘yeah?’ get him talking, too. About a place they used to have, different from Alexandria and with lots of people. He’s vague about something he’d done to give him the reputation of being wild. Paul wonders whether it was really something Daryl had done. The boy practically oozes the wild, from his clothes to his body language, to the ease with which he moves. He’s graceful, light on his feet but strong.

Paul frowns when Daryl mentions that people had known his dad, that that hadn’t helped his reputation. But the reputation hadn’t caused people to leave him alone. They had wanted to talk to him, to get him to teach them things. Paul smiles when Daryl says that he used to explode into fits of anger every five seconds.

‘Shane let me hunt on my own. That helped,’ the teenager says softly before he gnaws on the back of his pencil just to have something to do. ‘Taught me how to politely tell them to fuck off, too, so…’ he trails off.

Paul laughs. ‘That helped, too?’ he guesses and gently knocks their shoulders together to show that he’s just teasing. Then he twists around to check on the gates before turning back to the boy. ‘Who is Shane?’

He hopes it’s the brother because there’s fondness in the way Daryl says his name.

‘Was,’ Daryl corrects and Paul closes his eyes briefly, cursing himself. ‘He was my friend, took care of me. He was Rick’s partner on the force, before.’

‘I’m sorry you lost him,’ Paul says. ‘I didn’t mean to…. I’m just trying to figure your group out.’

There’s not much to figure out, Daryl tells him and for a moment Paul thinks that he’s crossed the line. That he really is sticking his nose in this time, but the boy doesn’t seem to mind right now. He was twelve when it all started. Paul feels a little sick. He knows some kids survived of course but he can’t imagine having to grow up in this world, with a childhood marred by the world ending.

He eyes Daryl. It’s made for some tough kids, that’s for sure.

Shane took him in, looked after him, and then they found Rick, Maggie, Michonne, all the others.

‘Now I’m just… everybody’s,’ Daryl says with a small shrug. ‘Nobody’s.’

Paul gives him a hesitant smile. ‘What about Glenn? You seem pretty close.’

The teenager snorts. ‘Was the first person of that group I met. My dad, ya know, didn’t like him much.’ He looks away, almost as if he’s ashamed of it. ‘Glenn bein’ a chink and all.’

Paul keep his expression neutral despite the slur. ‘But you liked him?’

‘He gave me an oreo.’

The answer is so unexpected and childish that it makes Paul laugh. The shy grin Daryl shoots him causes fondness to swell in his chest. The blush is back too, and Paul realizes that the teenager feels a sense of pride at being able to make him laugh. It makes him want to reach out and ruffle the dark hair despite the cap being in the way but he knows he’s still too much of a stranger to do it, regardless of the heart-to-heart they’re having.

‘So that’s the way to your heart, huh? Chocolate.’

‘Yeah,’ the teenager smirks. ‘I were in the middle of eatin’ some when you went stomping around on the roof of that truck. It went down with it. ‘s why I hate you.’

‘You don’t hate me,’ Paul grins as he knocks their shoulders together again.

‘Nah,’ Daryl admits. ‘You’re all right.’

‘High praise indeed,’ he teases before leaning closer and reaching out to push one of Daryl’s hands off the sketchbook in his lap so he can look at the drawing. The page is covered with flowers. Black and white and gray but so vivid that they might as well have been in color. There are vines snaking up and down, curling around pedals and pushing leaves aside. Thorns shine dangerously in the patches of light. ‘Talking about high praise,’ Paul says with a smile, ‘this is really good. Beautiful. I should get you some colored pencils as well.’

Daryl hums and shrugs.

Paul thinks about where he might find them. Someone must have a set here, stuffed into a drawer, dusty from disuse. It doesn’t surprise him that the teenager doesn’t ask for them, or urge him to find some for him. A child of the apocalypse; grateful for just food and water and with no real need for nice things that don’t help with their survival.

He’ll find some for him, Paul decides as he looks at the page. He can’t wait to see what he can do with them.

‘Shame about this,’ he runs his finger over the jagged line in the middle, one he’d drawn out of frustration and anger earlier.

Daryl says he can cover it up but then dismisses the whole thing as being something stupid, just something he likes to do. ‘I do other shit now,’ he says. ‘I hunt! Build traps, too. I used to drive a motorcycle.’

‘Really?’ Paul asks because he can’t quite picture it. The boy is small for his age, but he’s already shown his strength and doesn’t seem to be a liar. There’s teenager eagerness in the way he talks now, so eager to prove that he’s older, strong and capable.

He built it in Aaron’s garage by himself but someone stole it from him.

‘Shame,’ Paul murmurs. He wonders whether it were the Saviors but doesn’t press. ‘Can I have it?’

Daryl frowns at him.

‘The sketch,’ Paul clarifies. ‘I’d like to have it.’

He can, but he should wait until Daryl has covered up the ugly mark. Paul agrees and watches how he blends the line a little, turning it into the stem of another flower, one without thorns but with strange leaves. He works quietly and not as quickly as before. In the end, he’s just fussing around with little details until the blush deepens again and he says ‘okay,’ before ripping the page out. ‘Here.’

Paul takes it. ‘Thank you, Daryl,’ the full name sounds almost too formal and Paul gets why everyone calls him Dare. It’s a nickname he hasn’t shared with him yet, though and Paul wonders whether it’s just a family thing. ‘It really is beautiful.’

‘They’re poisonous.’

Paul lifts an eyebrow, ‘they’re real flowers?’

‘Hmm-hmm,’ Daryl swings his legs nervously. ‘They used to grow in the forest behind our trail- home. Our home,’ he says.

Paul notices the quick cover up. Trailer. He used to live in a trailer park.

Puzzle pieces start to fall together.

None of that matters anymore.

‘So it’s a self-portrait in a way, then. An origin story,’ Paul smiles as he smooths the paper out once more before leaning forward on his knees, eyes on the stars again. ‘Thank you,’ he adds but he’s not just talking about the sketch.

‘You’re welcome,’ Daryl nods as he swings his legs again.

Paul thinks about all the boy has said. About his dad who had had a bad reputation, how he hadn’t liked Glenn for being a chink. But still, the boy had liked the man because he’d shared a cookie with him. How he’d casually mentioned that he’d worked in Aaron’s garage. Maybe they’re friends too, Paul muses. He knows that Rick’s group was together before they got to Alexandria, that they had survived together all this time. Ties of family forged among death and desperation.

Suddenly Daryl leans closer.

Paul has barely time to react before he feels dry lips on his cheek. A quick kiss and-

More puzzle pieces sliding together.

‘Ah,’ he says softly because he now understands that it hadn’t exactly been pride at being able to make him laugh that had made the teenager blush. He slowly turns his head a little so he can see the boy’s face. He looks horrified at what he’s done. Eyes wide and scared.

‘I’m sorry,’ Daryl says immediately. ‘I didn’t –‘

‘Don’t run,’ Paul answers softly. He wants to reach out and grab the boy’s wrist but knows that would have the opposite effect. ‘Please don’t run. Why did you do that?’ The teenager doesn’t move but doesn’t answer either. ‘I think I have the right to an answer, Daryl.’

He doesn’t know. He just wanted to.

Paul can’t help but smile at that. He’s seen the boy break another man’s arm without a second thought but knows there’s no cruelty in him. He’s strangely soft in this harsh world. His eyes go a little wild when Paul tells him that not everyone’s intentions are so pure.

There’s hopefulness in his eyes when Daryl clumsily asks whether he is gay.

‘I am,’ Paul nods. But he has to put a stop to this as quickly and painlessly as he can. ‘And you’re going to hate me forever for saying this, but; I’m very flattered and think you’re great, but… I’m,’ he laughs, ‘I’m old, Daryl. I’m almost twice your age. And while it’s not really I could have been your dad territory, it’s close enough that I fear for my balls when Maggie finds out.’

The teenager groans and drops his head to his shoulder. He’s not seeking any affection, Paul realizes when Daryl screws his eyes shut. He’s just trying to hide at this point. The defiant ain’t when Paul says that he’s a kid just serves to prove his point.

Before, he’d agreed with him. He’s not a child when he fights, walking tall next to his family members and running to their aid, delivering it swiftly, with a fierceness that speaks of love and loyalty. But this is a whole other level. This is different.

‘Someone is going to be very lucky to have you at their side, one day,’ he tells the teenager. He doesn’t shake him off, doesn’t force him to sit on his own, can’t make himself move away either. He remembers the first time someone had shot him down and wishes someone had been gentler with him, then. So he lets Daryl recover for a couple of minutes before he realizes something. ‘First kiss?’ he asks.

‘Yeah,’ Daryl murmurs into his shoulder.

Paul laughs.

‘Stop.’

He does. Instead he tells Daryl the story of his own first kiss to brighten the mood and feels very pleased with himself when the young hunter actually laughs. Rejection can be painful, Paul knows that all too well, and he doesn’t want Daryl to never try again with someone else. Doesn’t want him to think back about this and wince.

So he’s glad that the boy talks to him still. He sits up, on his own and the fierce blush he’s sporting slowly ebbs away.

‘Can we stop talkin’ about it?’ Daryl asks, when Paul tries to pry some more. He hides his face in his hands. ‘You don’t like me. Fine. I get it. I won’t do it again.’

Paul wants to tell him that he’s wrong, that he actually likes him a lot. Just not like that. ‘Sure. Okay,’ he says instead to not give him the wrong idea. ‘How are you feeling right now?’

‘Mortified.’

Paul laughs again.

They talk some more. About the fact that Daryl is bisexual but that it doesn’t have to define him, or change him. That it’s just who he is. The fact that Daryl is scared of telling his brother, afraid that he’ll try to hurt him, causes Paul’s heart to clench painfully. Only the fact that Maggie, Glenn and Rick will be right there with him when he goes back eases his mind a little.

They’re good people.

And Daryl won’t run anymore.

Paul takes his hand, kisses it, and then walks away.

  He lobes down the stairs, lost in thought and with the sketch of poisonous flowers in his hands. He stops on the bottom step, surprised to find Michonne standing there. She’s leaning against the wall, arms folded in front of her chest and a pensive look on her face.

‘He wasn’t in the room,’ she says by way of explanation.

‘He was drawing,’ Paul answers and wonders how long she’s been standing there.

Her gaze flickers to the sketch in his hands. ‘Right.’

Paul nods. ‘He’s a good kid.’

‘Yes, he is. How is he?’

The scout smiles at her, ‘do you remember the first time someone turned you down? I think he mentioned being mortified but he was smiling again when I left, so I guess he’ll get over it.’

After a second, the woman smiles back at him. ‘Good,’ she nods before walking away.

Paul watches how the katana blinks dangerously on her back and thinks about how he might never understand all the ties that hold that family together.