#the ant was even cheating by attacking the fly and going back so the fly could let go

[pinkcrittertomb]

Saw a ant and a fly fighting for a piece of crumb today. Man nature is wild

[tossawary]

Chapter 27: “The First Day” of “pride is not the word I’m looking for” quotes and commentary. Not a full list of favorite quotes or full commentary.

-

Right now, deep into the safety of darkness, Shang Qinghua thinks about how he never actually expected to be lying in his bed with Mobei-Jun. No, there’s a reason his sofa is comfortable enough to sleep on! That was by design too! Sure, Shang Qinghua had lots and lots of bed-related fantasies, but he had no expectations of those fantasies ever coming true. He didn’t dare to have expectations.

It’s kind of weird, lying in bed with Mobei-Jun. It’s definitely weird lying in his bed partially on top of Mobei-Jun. With the way things were headed, Shang Qinghua was admittedly fostering some hopes about those bed-related fantasies, but he still didn’t think to mentally prepare himself for the practical details. He really wasn’t mentally prepared for the softness of Mobei-Jun’s hair, for the thickness and the weight of the man’s arms, or for the coolness of his skin against the warmth of the blankets.

Fuck, now there is no way that Shang Qinghua is going to be able to see Mobei-Jun with a plunging neckline without thinking about touching the man’s bare chest. It’s a nice chest! It feels great underneath Shang Qinghua’s hands now.

He can feel a steady heartbeat beneath his fingers.

He can feel the gentle rise and fall of it with the man’s slow breaths, as the man’s eyes have fallen comfortably closed.

Shang Qinghua has never seen Mobei-Jun this relaxed.

-

AN: Moshang in bed together is very good. I loved writing Moshang cuddles. I think it’s really nice when they’re allowed to be soft and relaxed, and everything is understood between them. Mobei-Jun at this point has learned to treat Shang Qinghua like a particularly anxious cat sometimes - if he just stays still and relaxed, eventually Shang Qinghua will calm down and chill with him. 

Shout out to Mobei-Jun and all those years he spent trying to get some hint as to how human social everything worked, only to get nearly no help from Shang Qinghua. In this fic, part of the idea is that Shang Qinghua has been a slightly better communicator. Mobei-Jun can be a good listener when he doesn’t feel hideously embarrassed over his fuck-ups. 

-

“I had made plans to speak with you at some point about… this,” Mobei-Jun agrees. “But that was not why I had come to see you that day.”

“Ah, what… what was it, then?”

Mobei-Jun sighs. “I had come from a gathering of demon lords, hosted by my father at their request. They have loosely agreed to each contribute to an attack on the next conference of human cultivators,” he explains, apparently annoyed at just having to recollect this event. “My uncle encourages my father to force my involvement. He must have trouble planned… or see an opportunity for it.”

Shang Qinghua processes this, then sits bolt upright in bed. “What?!”

Mobei-Jun frowns up at him.

“There’s a demonic alliance to attack the next Immortal Alliance Conference?!” Shang Qinghua demands, leaning over the demon lord beside him.

“Yes.”

“And you waited to tell me this?!”

“There are years left before this event,” Mobei-Jun points out.

Shang Qinghua stares at him.

Sure! But he feels like he should start planning now! He already knew that there was going to be a demon attack of some kind - the seal on Luo Binghe’s powers has to be broken - but demon lords getting involved is bad news! Multiple demon lords who are important enough to be socializing with Mobei-Jun’s father is worse news! Demon lords potentially including Mobei-Jun’s shitty father and shitty uncle is the worst news of all!

“You should warn your people,” Mobei-Jun says, dryly.

- 

AN: Mobei-Jun doesn’t care about the sects, but he cares that Shang Qinghua cares. Mobei-Jun and Shang Qinghua really are villainous in SVSSS. Shang Qinghua just so happens to sometimes be on the protagonist’s (Shen Yuan’s) side and Shen Yuan has romanced a budding tyrant who has MBJ as a loyal minion. But, oof, I didn’t want to go that route with this fic. 

I mean, I considered it! I considered having Shang Qinghua be forced to bring a demon invasion down on the sect he’s come to care about and his own nephew, but that felt a little too angsty for me. It totally could have been good, I was just like, “I can’t handle that.” Plus, with the world update, it felt fitting to jazz things up a little bit - to up the ante by inviting more demon lords and also have a little role reversal by letting Mobei-Jun be the spy. This way, I think, it really feels like Mobei-Jun is on Shang Qinghua’s side. 

Shang Qinghua isn’t on the demons’ side. Mobei-Jun isn’t really on the humans’ side. But they are on each other’s side. They’re a team! 

Again, what’s more romantic than your demon boyfriend actually doing the work of growth on his own? Moshang can be a little rough and with a lot of sharp edges (on both sides, they’re both kind of mean people) sometimes, so it’s sometimes nice to remember that they can support each other too. 

Also, I’ve always been kind of curious about what Mobei-Jun’s family thinks of his relationship with a human. Mobei-Jun’s father is still alive throughout SVSSS, so it’s fun to think about ice demon politics, power and influence and loyalty in that court, and whether that factored at all into Mobei-Jun’s extremely slow-moving courting timeline of a human. 

-

The person at the door knocks a third time, and Shang Qinghua feels the person beside him stir. He can feel a not insignificant amount of weight shifting, a low and unhappy grumble, and cool skin brushing against his own as that person makes to get up. Possibly to handle the person at the door? Shang Qinghua here abruptly remembers many important details about his current situation that make the sect potentially being on fire seem like a not-so-bad emergency.

 “Demon invasion,” Shang Qinghua finds himself thinking. “Mobei-Jun. Fuck.”

“No, no, no! Don’t get up! I’ll get it!” Shang Qinghua cries, throwing off tangled blankets and flying out of bed. “I’ll handle it, my king! Sorry! Ahhh, sorry! I’ll take care of it, you can just stay where you are-”

Shang Qinghua, now on his feet, pushes firmly down against Mobei-Jun’s chest. He’s not expecting the man - a very, very strong and very, very stubborn demon lord - to go back down under his hand without any resistance at all. This easy obedience, this willingly being pushed down, leads to a surprised Shang Qinghua overbalancing and catching himself hard on Mobei-Jun’s chest and shoulders.

As though Shang Qinghua is actually pinning the man down.

Mobei-Jun stares up at him, eyes low-lidded, and raises his eyebrows.

Ah.

Wow.

Shang Qinghua is going to… well, he’s going to think about this for the rest of his life, probably.

-

AN: Mobei-Jun is so self-conscious in SVSSS that it’s kind of hilarious. So it’s fun to let him be a little more confident (rather than arrogant and lashing out defensively). Mobei-Jun probably thought to himself here, “You know what’ll be funny here? If I just go down now.” I feel it in my heart that Mobei-Jun is a teaser, especially when he’s relaxed and happy. 

- 

Shang Qinghua takes the time to fix up his appearance a little more - to get rid of the “I slept with a demon” smell - because if the asshole at his door has kept it up this long, they can wait a little longer. It turns out that he didn’t really need to bother, because it’s his fellow transmigrator and most dogged critic, Peerless Cucumber.

“Bro,” Shang Qinghua says seriously. “Do you have a deathwish?”

Peerless Cucumber - Shen Yuan, Shang Qinghua has to remember to call the kid by his real name - lowers his hand with a scowl. “...One of your disciples told me to knock on your door and keep knocking until you answered,” the other transmigrator says defensively. “After I said you said to meet you in the morning.”

“...Which one?”

“Wen Shufen, I think?”

“Ah, just for that prank, Sticky Fingers is going to be hauling fertilizer for Long Sheng Peak for a month,” Shang Qinghua says tiredly. “Bro, do not believe half the things your martial siblings here tell you. They’re pretty much all liars, cheats, and thieves.”

“Then why keep them around?”

“Ah, well, sometimes you need someone to lie, cheat, or steal.”

“...It’s nearly not morning anymore, you know.”

“Eh, I guess you get a pass this time, since I did tell you we’d have a nice long talk about things tomorrow morning. Come on in.”

- 

AN: I don’t know if this vibe is coming across, but Shen Yuan feels a little ignored and neglected. They just got back from a mission and Shen Yuan has already been shooed off like twice. Shang Qinghua is so busy. Shang Qinghua is so experienced and so established here. Shen Yuan has latched onto SQH as his lifeline, though he’s trying very, very hard to be independent, and yet Shang Qinghua kind of has SY on the back burner most of the time. 

Not only is Shang Qinghua the author of this world, but he’s also an important figure in this world. Shang Qinghua really lives here and if the plot wasn’t looming over them, SQH would be very happy here. This place feels 100% like Shang Qinghua’s | Airplane’s world and brand new transmigrator Shen Yuan feels like an unwanted intruder. SY is still lonely and scared. 

- 

“...Are you going to try to activate it now?” Shen Yuan asks.

“Hmmm… no, not right now,” Shang Qinghua decides, standing up off the dusty stool he was sitting on. “Cucumber, bro, I’m just not awake enough for tackling anything serious right now. Let me get a few texts and tools together first to test this thing properly, alright? Some safety equipment! Aprons and face shields! Thick, fireproof gloves! I’m still trying to figure out how to safely ask Duan Tianyu what he knows about this map the System apparently made him send me, when he might not even know what the fuck I’m talking about! Maybe he can give us some hints.”

“Who?”

“One of my Huan Hua not-disciples,” Shang Qinghua answers. “I picked up some extras a few deadly missions back. They’re good kids. All grown up now! Less naïve than they used to be! Duan Tianyu is teaching back at Huan Hua Palace now, so maybe I’ll have to be the one to wander over there on some pretense.”

Shen Yuan agrees that getting as much information as possible is probably the better course of action. Shang Qinghua ushers the kid out of his secret basement and his fellow transmigrator goes easily enough. Shang Qinghua complains about his shitty, no-good System on the way up for forcing them to do all the work by themselves.

“It must think everything is more ‘authentic’ if I don’t know what the fuck is going on,” Shang Qinghua suggests, removing his spiritual seal and causing the door to the secret basement to vanish. “Ah, I’ll admit that’s kind of cool to watch.”

-

AN: Throughout this conversation, SY is kind of reaching out, giving himself or Airplane excuses to let him stay. It’s not that he doesn’t want to cultivate, but SQH represents a sort of safety and familiarity SY doesn’t have right now. 

In SVSSS, Airplane was always pretty direct with Shen Yuan, from what I remember, but he wasn’t necessarily open. He was direct about some potentially vulnerable or personal topics, like Luo Binghe’s insanity or his own general fear of his character’s planned death, but that’s not the same as actually being vulnerable. They snap at each other, they’re pretty direct about their personal goals, but they don’t actually get vulnerable with each other by confessing their personal fears and new relationship developments. 

So I’ve tried to adopt that here, while making Shang Qinghua a little kinder and slightly more vulnerable, thanks to the efforts of Luo Jiahui. But Shang Qinghua still isn’t necessarily open here and neither is Shen Yuan. He’s just like, “Hey, it’s shit and I don’t like it either, but what can you do?” He’s not actually seriously talking about his breakdown or just how scared he is of his own plot. 

For some people, there’s a certain kind of openness in confessing things to a stranger, so it’s kind of like that too. Shang Qinghua and Shen Yuan have fallen into kind of familiar dynamics, because there’s nothing else to really do, and they are kind of acquaintances, but they’re still not friends yet. 

I think I want to have SY and SQH actually address this soon. SY feels that SQH has been kind of dropping the ball when it comes to honestly helping his fellow transmigrator, though SY, being SY, can’t quite put his finger on the lack of emotional intimacy and affection that he’s starved for right now. 

- 

The day-in-day-out of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect can’t get him down today! He feels kind of like he’s walking on air! Sure, the work never stops and there are some fucking terrifying things ahead, but he just had a very successful mission overall! He just had a really, really successful conversation with Mobei-Jun! He and Mobei-Jun are romantically entwined and Mobei-Jun was very explicit about the fact that he expects them to be romantically entwined… pretty much indefinitely!

“There is no one else,” Mobei-Jun had said. “There will be no one else.”

Shang Qinghua fostered a lot of hopes over the years! More hopes than he felt that he should have reasonably fostered! And to have those hopes unexpectedly fulfilled like this is… really something! It’s really, really something! Mobei-Jun really isn’t the type of character to say that - to say any of the things he said, and wow, he said a lot of things back there - without meaning it completely.

Shang Qinghua doesn’t really know what to do with that.

Forever is a long time.

He understands, of course, that some things really do last an impossibly long time. He used to be pretty certain that all love matches faded eventually - that people were genuinely wildly in love… that people were sincerely in love with each other, sure… up until they inevitably weren’t anymore - but now he can’t really imagine Liu Qingge or Luo Jiahui ever getting tired of each other. Liu Qingge keeps bringing Luo Jiahui new recipes to try and rare ingredients to interest her, so she can make dishes for the two of them or her family as a whole, and Shang Qinghua can easily imagine the two of them doing that pretty much indefinitely.

Shang Qinghua can’t think about this for long, before he has to focus on greeting his disciples (it’s just Peng Hongpeng and Chen Xuan in here at the moment) and getting to work. “Good things last while they last!” he decides for now, because thinking about things not lasting kind of makes him feel like he’s dying.

-

AN: Shang Qinghua can’t quite bring himself to believe in a relationship lasting forever right now. Part of it is his commitment issues, but another part of it is his persisting inability to see past the looming plot. He’s still worried about Luo Binghe and the Eternal Abyss, so he’s having difficulty seeing past that hurdle, even though things like Luo Jiahui’s marriage and his new relationship with Mobei-Jun are forcing him to confront the fact that there’s still a life outside of and beyond the plot. 

For Shang Qinghua, it’s kind of a “I’ll think about that later if we all survive” thing when it comes to him and Mobei-Jun. 

- 

“He made a mistake with good intentions and got a small injury for it,” Shang Qinghua says, as reassuringly as he can. “He’s fine! He’s in trouble with his shizun for it, though, but I’ll see what I can do about bringing you up to meet him or bringing him down here as soon as possible. I’ll do my best to make it happen!”

Luo Jiahui leans into Shang Qinghua’s side and admits, “I miss him.”

“He misses you.”

“I miss you too,” Luo Jiahui adds.

“...Ah, sorry.”

“It’s okay,” his sister-in-law says warmly. “I’d miss you even if you visited every day.”

Shang Qinghua is holding her hands, but it feels like she’s got an extra one wrapped around his heart. “Where’s that husband of yours? Doesn’t he come down the mountain every day? Should I be telling him off? Sorry I ran off with him for a little bit!”

“What does Qingge have to do with you and me?” Luo Jiahui demands. “It doesn’t matter how often I see everyone else, I still miss you and Binghe the most.”

“Hm, that’s a point! That’s a point.”

What else can Shang Qinghua do but admit that he misses her the most too?

-

AN: It was fun to follow up Shang Qinghua’s romantic developments with a return to his most important and longest relationship: the one he has with his “fake” sister. Luo Jiahui is and always will be important to Shang Qinghua and who he’s become. They have such a lovely relaxed feeling that’s nice to revisit. I’ve missed Luo Jiahui these past few chapters, as things get twisted up more and more in sect business. 

It would feel dishonest to the rest of the fic if Shang Qinghua’s other relationships disappeared in favor of his new romantic relationship. They all have their own importance. Mobei-Jun and Liu Qingge don’t make Shang Qinghua and Luo Jiahui any less important to each other. 

I am looking forward to making Mobei-Jun and Luo Jiahui meet again, and tackling some of Mobei-Jun’s thoughts on Shang Qinghua’s relationship with his family. Mobei-Jun has a really shitty family, so it’s interesting thinking about what family means to him and how loyalty/love plays into it. 

- 

While he's busy plotting around the plot, there’s a hum of power behind him, the cool whoosh and crackle of a portal opening, the faint hair-rising warning of demonic energy. Shang Qinghua finishes tapping at his own face in thought, looks up at the looming shadow standing behind him, and smiles. He kind of feels like he should run away, but it's too late for that now. He held on long enough that he made it too late for himself.

“Hello,” he says.

- 

AN: I took this almost exactly from the first chapter of Part 3 of this fic. I can’t remember the chapter number, but it was the one titled “The Inevitable Plot”. 

Parts 3 and 4 of this fic blend together a little. Part 3 of this fic kind of ends here, but I have a couple more chapters that I want to tackle before I feel that I can say we’re for sure in Part 4? I have some things I want to accomplish before we go into a slight time skip towards the Immortal Alliance Conference. 

[teffyjeffy]

(Most of) JoJo’s Bizzare Adventure: Stardust Crusaders but almost everybody are kids having fun at recess.

Want a random JoJo post out of nowhere? No? Okay well here you go anyway!

A lot of the time when I was watching JJBA I felt like I was watching a very dramatic retelling of what was actually two kids playfighting.

“My guy punches super fast!” “Oh yeah? Well my guy can stop Time!” “Oh yeah?! Well, mine can too! I just discovered it!” “WELL MINE CAN DROP A ROADROLLER ON YOU” “THATS CHEATING”

Anyway, the idea started to snowball, so please enjoy my masterpost of (most of) JJBA Part 3 where the Stardust Crusaders are a group of 9 year old rascals who met up one day during recess. This is just for fun ^_^ also these are all copied and pasted from discord so the structure is a little jumbled. Enjoy!

Oh, and Spoilers are ahead.

“I can punch super fast!”

“Well I can use cameras and TVs as crystal balls, but I need to break them!”

“Mine can shoot flames, ooo ooo and-and I can control them at will!”

“Mine has a sword that can stab anything”

“MINE HAS AN ATTACK THAT IS UNBLOCKABLE AND ITS AREA EFFECT IS THE WHOLE PLAYGROUND-“

“No Kakyoin that’s not how we play. Youre not allowed to have an invincible attack”

Kakyoin’s introduction:

“I have an invincible attack”

“That’s not how it works Kakyoin but you’re cool, so you can keep playing with us”

The insect stand “Tower of Gray” was when the group was bothered by a fly on the school bus and they got a little too rowdy in their attempts to kill it, which pissed off the elderly bus driver. Thus the kids agreed that he was responsible for bringing the fly onto the bus in the first place. They got detention.

Jean Polnareff’s introduction:

“I have a sword that can pierce through anything!”

“Okay Jean, you can play with us, but you have to promise to stop pushing Avdol into the wood chips, he doesn’t like it.”

The stowaway girl is actually a 5 year old girl who wants to play with them and they hate it at first but they eventually warm up to her. The monkey with a ship stand was actually a retelling of the groups trip to the town’s public swimming pool. The boat was just an inflatable tube and the monkey was a chipmunk. And the original boat that blew up? That was the group’s original inflatable tube that got popped because the 5 year old wouldn’t stop gnawing at it

Later, the kids SOMEHOW convinced their parents to let them stay in the same hotel while the parents all hate business trips to go to. They “promised” not to pillow fight, then everyone except for Jean went to go get snacks while Jean went to explore the new room.  Unbeknownst to them, the previous guests of the room accidentally left their daughter’s doll behind. Jean HATES dolls. He accidentally stumbled upon Child’s Play when he was surfing channels way too late at night without his parents knowing. Fear turns into aggression and someone from the hotel staff goes to check on him. He finds Jean and realizes it’s the same kid who shot him with a water gun earlier. Jean is kicked out and the parents have to pick their kids up. Jotaro and everyone else weren’t happy. 

Rubber Soul is actually just that one bratty kid who thinks it’s sooooooooo funny to mimic other people while also making fun of the person they’re mimicking. It makes them feel “powerful.” Jotaro encounters Rubber Soul when the latter is mocking Kakyoin one day, while Jotaro is playing with the 5 year old; he then chases Rubber Soul all around the playground, and when he finally gets him, he busts his teeth in. They were only baby teeth though, they grew right back, which saved Jotaro from a brutal punishment. He was still forced to go without dessert for a month. He didn’t complain though because his mother was dealing with the flu at the time. He would give all his desserts to Kakyoin, which his how Jotaro discovered Kakyoin’s creepy habit of juggling maraschino cherries in his mouth.

J. Geil was somebody who used to play games with Jean’s sister. When she found out he sucked at party cake and teased him for having “Two left hands”, J pushes her into the mud and never plays with her again. Jean has held a grudge ever since.

Hol Horse is Geil’s “New friend” which pisses off Jean. Hol Horse, being a member of the wrong crowd, beats up Avdol and J. Geil just goes along with it. Jean is all “Avdol why are you even here, you had nothing to do with this!” And Kakyoin’s like “Should we call 911?” And Jean responds “Not yet, I need to beat up these guys first!” And Kakyoin calls 911 anyway.

The Mirror stand is just J. Geil going “Made you look” and punching your shoulder.

And Hol Horse’s stand is just a nerf gun. The reason it hurts is because he likes to get right up in your face before firing it. It’s ineffective if you’re too far away from him, because the dart bullet loses momentum and hits the ground harmlessly.

Jean eventually gets back at J. Geil by chasing him into the middle of a group of kids, then pointing up at nothing, shouting “Made you look,” and poking J. Geil in the eyes, which causes him to cry like a baby. And later, Jean is like “Oh yeah, I totally stabbed him with my sword!” when Jotaro asks him what happened.

Then Hol horse runs away because he realized J. Geil was a total loser.

The Empress stand was just Joseph’s retelling of his parents taking him to the doctor’s office so they could deal with a wart on his arm. He hated how boring the actual process was, so he pretended that he bested the wart in a game of wits and tore it asunder. Jotaro was grossed out. 

(Btw in this AU Joseph is only a grade older than Jotaro, instead of being his grandpappy)

Wheel of Fortune is just the result of a very nasty game of tag with a brat who wouldn’t leave the group alone.

Enya is the crazy cat lady at the end of the street whose house the kids were forced to pass one day when they missed the school bus.

Steely Dan is the snobby “Cool Kid” of the playground, and a sore loser when the kids don’t play the way he wants them to. So Jotaro gives him a black eye.

The Sun is a kid who likes to fry ants with a magnifying glass. But Joseph likes bugs, and seeing this made him cry. So Jotaro, Kakyoin and Avdol plot to destroy the magnifying glass, which they thought was really funny. But at that point, the magnifying glass had to be returned to the science lab, so the kid was spared. 

Or, in another interpretation:

“Hey guys, I wanna play! My guy’s power is that he’s literally the sun!!! ” 

Joseph: “Wow, that’s pretty powerful-“ 

J,K,&A: “YOUR POWER IS STUPID, GET LOST”

Death Thirteen was the result of the kids being forced to deal with a baby who was throwing a tantrum while they all waited to get on the giant slide at the County Fair. Kakyoin was especially pissed. 

I have nothing for the Judgement stand.

I don’t have anything for High Priestess either.

And Iggy is still a dog, but I’m getting rid of his tendency to fart because I just HATE IT

N’Doul isn’t blind, he wears glasses and can’t see shit without them. And he has a water pistol. And he hoards the playground’s sandbox.

Oingo and Boingo are a 6 year old and his 1 year old brother and they’re just the cutest little demon spawns.

Anubis is a dog that snatched Jean’s toy sword in its mouth, and the sword’s power to transfer souls was just Jean fearing that the dog had rabies. Jotaro rolled his eyes but convinced Joseph to help him buy a new toy sword to shut Jean up.

Mariah... I dunno man, I didn’t really care for her arc and it definitely doesn’t fit the “kids playground” scenario I’m going for.

ALESSI IS WRITTEN OUT COMPLETELY. HE IS NOT ALLOWED ON THE PLAYGROUND.

The D’Arby brothers are known for being the cheaters of the playground. So Jotaro scares the eldest brother in a game of Go Fish, and it messes D’Arby up so much that it triggers his Asthma and he he has an Asthma attack. 

Pet Shop went down as the day when Iggy had a fight with a seagull and got pecked the ever loving SHIT out of. Jotaro tells the story at every Christmas party.

The younger D’Arby battle happened on a day when he and Jotaro were playing video games together. They accused each other of cheating, which resulted in Jotaro insulting him for liking dolls before pummeling him and consequently getting kicked out of the house. Joseph gave him a high five though, so it was worth it.

Vanilla Ice was the toddler who didn’t bother to move out of the way if you got in his path while he was driving his toy mini jeep. But if you asked Jean or Avdol, they’ll tell you that the toddler deliberately puts people in his path to run them over. And the occasional dog.

And finally, DIO.

DIO was a kid who got transferred to Jotaro’s school after being expelled because the principal of DIO’s previous school couldn’t get him to leave two of the students alone, by the names of Johnathan and Erina. He was pen pals with Johnathan, but that was the only connection DIO bothered to maintain.

Jotaro thought DIO didn’t even deserve the title of “School Bully.” He thought DIO was just a weird freaking kid. Despite that, most of the kids were scared of him, Jotaro’s friends included.

DIO loved to utilize the classic “Time Out!” whenever he played with the kids, and if they didn’t abide to the time out, they got a knuckle sandwich.

Jotaro was the first kid in a long time to just say “Nope.”

That’s when he learned that DIO was a kid who liked to screech like a banshee when things didn’t go his way. As well as throw a whole bunch of pencils (seemingly from out of nowhere) at any person that he upset with.

The road roller in this AU is the closest thing to a lethal heavy weapon that you can get on the playground: a frickin BIKE. 

And DIO is like “TIME OUT SO I CAN SLAM THIS BIKE ON YOU” And Jotaro goes “Nope, your time out is cancelled because you’re a freak and also you tried to bite Joseph which was just gross, anyway-“ and he punched DIO in the leg, pushed him to the ground, and kicked woodchips in his face.

They both got expelled.

A few years later, on his way to middle school, Jotaro bumps into a kid named Josuke...

<============ TO BE CONTINUED

BONUS JJBA BATTLE TENDENCY

The Pillar Men are a reflection of the infamous day when three highschool bullies showed up to the playground. One of them beat a kid named Ceasar in a Rock Paper Scissors match; in responce, Joseph (who at the time was only 4) went apeshit. He kicked the first highschooler off of the carousel at the County Fair. Then he located the second highschooler, tied up his shoelaces, then lit them with a match. Finally, during the school’s annual science fair, he tracked down the third highschooler, who had just finished rigging a student’s baking soda volcano to blow up in his face. Joseph threw a bunch of rocks that he found outside at the highschooler, and then proceeded to lock him up in the school’s astral observatory. The first two highschoolers fled town after that, but rumor has it that the third one is still stuck in the abandoned observatory.

[elsewhereuniversity]

Bigger fish

You are a fool. You shouldn’t have accepted such deal.

You shouldn’t have cheated at exams and accepted scholarship they brought.

You shouldn’t have ruined Pince’s things.

You shouldn’t have involved yourself with Forbidden major.

You shouldn’t have come to Elsewhere University at all.

You shouldn’t have done many things, but here you are and thinking otherwise is stupid. May ifs never helped anybody. Pince is bitch, but she is bitch who survived four years as part of Forbidden major, and she has your Name and knows you cheated. She is willing to give up both memories (you have bottle that can suck them out if they are freely given, courtery of weird fae who read too much Harry Potter) for small, small price.

A trinket from Wyrm’s hoard.

___________________________________________________________________

It takes you four months to get inside. Old English building is, well, old and abandoned and ruined and something in back of your brain freezes  from fright and tells you to flee, but you ignore it even as it pounds upon your skull like hammer.

Caves and tunnels that stretch below are dark, humid, rocky things, full of sharp cliffs and steep paths. You almost break your neck trying to find way deep, deep down even as your mind is clawing itself in pieces.

The faery ballroom you find is stuff of dreams, even abandoned and ruined and scorched like this, and you have to close your to prevent yourself from being overloaded with its majesty and left kneeling at side of forgotten statues (the screams in your bones certainly help).

When you get to bottom, you think you should have risked expulsion and coercement. At least you would have lived.

______________________________________________________________________

Here is thing about dragons-they are creatures of Else, but of blood and bone too. In some cases it means you get no benefits but all weaknesses. You aren’t so lucky to deal with such things.

Dragons have magic in their hearts, magic that allows them to fly and exist and shrug off attacks with their thick hide and magical fire that cannot be extinguished but can consume anything. And they aren’t bound to only speak truth (not that they speak to lesser beings all that often), nor can belief limit them, nor can they only exist in thin spaces of world (though they are much, much more preferable). They are bit like Crows in that regard-they have power, and they don’t use it to play games or bargain-they just take.

Some will tell you first dragon was ordinary lizard that stumbled in deep Elsewhere and was changed by its magic. Others will claim that fae created dragons and all other such creatures like vampires and werewolves, while yet third will claim original dragons were powerful halfbreeds. Whatever the truth is, you can’t move from screams of your ancestors you inherited with your blood.

Wyrm rises, for even smallest footstep can alert it. Gargatuan, majestic and terrible, muscled body and thick hide and sharp claws and sharper teeth and wild eyes and fire that can consume even immortal, shapeless fluid true form of fae. It’s wings are as wide as roof of EU’s buildings, it’s teeth as white as it’s marble and it’s eyes as angry and arrogant as that of it’s most elitist professors.

And it smells thief thief thief all over you.

You can’’t move. You are small, small thing, a fly and prey who meddled in things she should have left alone. You are no hero to charge at Wyrm, even if you had training and weapons and magic. You are just dumb, dumb girl who bargained stupid bargain. And Wurm advances, it’s eyes lazily locked on you, considering whether to smash, eat or burn you.

Until it smells something else. And Else, of course.

Something Fair.

It turns, with rage and mockery and hunger, to face foolish fae, the small sprite that dared go against one of Great Drakes of Old, a puny thing of magic and elements bound to Else that bore it and stupid beliefs of mortality that force it to accepts limitations and weaknesses imposed by belief…

And almost screams as it faces Tall One.

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There are many times, many realities, many EUs, all bound by Elsewhere.

There is EU where dragons have risen and rode across skies and burned down world.

There is EU where strange plague broke across world and dead rose against living.

There is EU where war came in silver ships from above and blasted down world.

There is EU where men became wild wolves and society collapsed in death and packs.

There is EU where men made contact with demons, and fallen angels whispered lies and sins into ears of men.

There is no world where a creature has risen against Tall One-or at least continued to exist to live tale (not dead, but unmade-big difference. Death is state of being, and Tall One condemns you on unbeing from moment your soul comes in existence).

Wyrm has lived for tens of thousands of years, born from egg of another Great Drake, it has ravaged and burned and feasted on foolish beings, mortal and not since it can remember. It murdered heroes, destroyed cities, stole hoards and castles.

And yet, it is a small, small thing, a speck of dust to this abomination, avatar of True Royal, piece of creature from Before the first universe and very time came to be, a mad, senseless thing that predates belief and life and reality, above gods as it they are above ants Power that could break creation without noticing, like swatting a fly, the monster from bottom of Elsewhere, one of those so so deep that they are almost close to The Queen (pray, pray She never wakes up).

It is a piece, as close to True Royal and as similar as scale is to Wyrm’s power. But what does it matter to small, small things when creature scale came from is greater than infinity.

The Tall One passes, as if Wyrm isn’t even worth noticing (it prays it is, prays so hard to gods it can’t name), without sound or shadow, and one of it’s long, long fingers brushes your shoulder.

You have been Forbidden Major too long to not know what tragedy it heralds.

“Could you still eat me?” You ask, desperate. You think you see glint of tear in amber eye as Wyrm shakes head and shivers curled in corner/

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Part from story I may or may not write someday. I hope you like it. Thanks for this amazing world and thanks to all fantastic writers who wrote other stories and made each day enjoyable. I hope you are okay with me using Tall One like this.

x

[high5nerd]

The Misadventures of Fanty and Loki---Chap. Nine

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" a scream echoed throughout the entire chalet.

The sudden explosion of such a terrified voice woke up Loki from his sleep instantly, causing him to nearly jolt out of the bed in pure panic. If he was armed, his knives would be drawn at the ready, prepared to attack anything that dared harm him, his newfound ally, Pitch Black, or the six girls. But then he heard Fanty and Star cackling down the hallway past his door, a shaking noise like a rattle slowly echoing along with their laughter.

"What...in the Norns' name?" Loki rubbed his face, finally awake from the sudden wake-up call.

"April Fool's Day." Pitch's voice came.

Loki was startled by the sudden appearance of him as he crawled out from under his bed, panting like a dog. He flopped onto the floor in exhaustion. Pitch's raven black hair was completely dyed pink! Loki choked back a laugh, only because of the pure look of tiredness and fear in his golden eyes.

"Come again?" Loki asked, but then realized another issue, "Hey! Why are you hiding under my bed anyway?!"

Pitch turned himself over onto his back like a pancake, "It was a bad decision. The girls woke me up when I found myself cursed with this hair and I ran for my life. By the way, it's really dusty under there. You might want to clean it out sometime today."

"Humph. I never clean, for that is a chore for meekly servants," Loki sniffed, but then asked, "What is this April Fool's Day?"

Pitch was silent for a while, and then swiftly got up. Loki noticed that Pitch was mostly swift with every movement he made. He smoothed out the front of his robe, dusted his shoulders and arms and then gave a bored look at the God of Mischief, "A day where tricksters reign. I'm surprised you don't know it."

Loki's ears perked up at the words 'tricksters' and 'reign'. Pitch rolled his eyes disapprovingly at Loki's excited grin and raised brows, "I can rule? For a day?"

"That's not it. April Fool's is for mortals. They pull pranks-harmless pranks-and…." he shuddered, "I have never seen two mortals take it so seriously."

"Whom?" Loki asked, getting up and putting on a dark green, casual tunic over his sleep pants.

"Star and Fanty. They have competitions to see who can be the most mischievous. Trust me, you don't want to mess with them. They have the upper hand. They always do." Pitch folded his arms, watching Loki comb his hair with his fingers at his reflection in the floor length mirror.

"No they don't. I have magic, and I am a God." Loki sneered, feeling pride swell up in his gut.

Pitch shook his head as Loki turned to the door that led to the long hallway, where they could faintly hear a ruckus in the kitchen, followed by the flickering of the lights above them. "No, they do. They understand technology. They know you're a weak point since you're not accustomed. And uh...Star says you lack creativity."

"I do not!" Loki protested, ticked off at the notion.

"I'm warning you," Pitch said cautiously, "they aren't to be messed with. They have three rules: Only one victor, leave me out of this, and no one gets hurt."

"Posh, I bet it is not-!" Loki laughed, but his laugh was cut short by the time they reached the kitchen.

Fanty was cackling on the ground, literally rolling around on the linoleum floor as Star frantically itched herself, scratching her back and arms and legs as if fire ants were crawling all around her. Mystic was running around, muttering curses as she tried to get green goo off her own shirt, hair, and the stove counter. Xion was jumping as high as she could-which wasn't very much-while trying to reach her sneakers that were snagged onto the ceiling fan, that slowly rotated just to tease her. Angel was trying to tackle Fanty as she leapt up from the attack from behind, dressed in only a man's button up that was polkadot yellow and white, black and green striped jeans, and a red sock and blue sock on either foot. Star obviously replaced Angel's clothing with ridiculous ones, but Fanty was getting the blame for it since she put itching powder in Star's laundry.

"Odin, help me." Loki prayed, his jaw almost to the floor.

"They dyed my hair PINK while I was taking a nap!" Pitch hissed, a sudden burst of anger broiling forth.

A shrill scream of anger echoed throughout the chalet, and the entire ruckus stopped for a second, frozen in fear. A furious sound of angry footsteps sounded from the stairs and down came a ticked off Drago, white powder all over her face and hair. It really made her eyes crackle and snap in fury even brighter.

"REALLY, STAR?! BABY POWDER IN THE HAIR DRYER!? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!?" Drago bellowed, shaking the powdery hair dryer in front of Star's face, who then began to laugh even harder.

Fanty giggled before looking over at Loki, and then….Loki witnessed her first evil grin. It honestly made his stomach drop into the bottom of his belly. That's when he got the hint:

He's the next victim.

"Good morning, Loki!" Fanty got up, brushing at her arms nonchalantly. She ignored Drago's scolding and Star's struggling giggles as she made her way over to Loki, who was too frozen in worry to really move.

"G-Good morning?" it came out more as a question than a reply.

Fanty stuck out her hand in a friendly gesture and beamed, "Put 'er there!"

Loki raised a brow, utterly confused, "Put what there?"

Fanty gave a strained laugh, "Your hand, silly! It's a good morning greeting if we shake hands."

Pitch instinctively glared at Loki as a warning, and Loki was pretty smart to catch on. His hand was close to coming in contact with Fanty's, but he quickly retracted his hand, hiding it behind his broad back.

"No. You're going to trick me." Loki sneered at her, to Fanty's dismay.

Her reaction was something he wasn't expecting. Fire seemed to shoot out of her eyes, and Star looked up in sync with that, a deep throated hissing noise like a snake echoing in their throats.

"Pitch! Don't cheat!" they growled, looking like they might as well just bleach his robe pure white and embroider pink lace and spray glitter on it. Now that is evil.

"Sorry." Pitch stepped back, definitely not wanting to get on their bad side for today.

For half of the day, Loki tried to avoid the troublesome tricksters so they don't scour him out and choose him for a victim, but they seemed focused on pranking each other or everyone else. He couldn't blame Fanty and Star, in a sense. Since it was raining outside, everyone really had no choice but to stay inside. Granted, it could also be considered a good thing, since Fanty originally planned to climb up a tree and put someone's underpants on a branch like a proud flag.

But Star and Fanty's devious and diabolical ideas were slowly thinning out, and by the late afternoon, they were stir crazy, draped all over the furniture or trying to scare Mystic or Drago by crawling around like the Grudge Girl.

Loki had his feet propped onto the kitchen table, reading a novel Pitch gave him for the time being to wait out the day when Star snuck into the kitchen. She had a rather large can clutched in her hand, shiny and colorful. Loki raised a brow at Star's wide grin.

"This...is my final masterpiece. This is the most diabolical, evil, pure genius prank on Fanty. In fact, on everyone." Star giggled, waving the can in his face.

"What is it exactly?" Loki peered at the words on the side.

"Red Bull," Star proudly grinned, "Pure caffeine and sugar, and so much it'll make Fanty time travel."

Star poured it into a glass, carefully stirring it for no particular reason at all. With an untrained eye, it almost looked like lemonade. Loki felt his eyebrows knit together with worry.

"Though I think you're very good at your tricks...perhaps you should reconsider. Fanty is already a ball of energy, as you mortals put it." he said, hoping it would convince her.

Star shook her head, grinning evilly. "Nope! I know this is the best prank ever, so I'm going to follow through with it. You ready to see mass destruction?" Star wiggled her eyebrows, pointing a finger in the direction of Fanty's open bedroom. Soft music emanated from the room, along with video game noises and Fanty's distant, irritated voice.

"Yeah, that's right! Taste bullets, zombies! Oh HEEELLL NO. DID YOU REALLY JUST SHOOT AT ME!?" Fanty shouted at the screen when they arrived to her room, "Bill! Give me those gosh darn pills-OH GOD A WITCH NO!"

Fanty screamed in terror as she moved her person on the screen all over the place, but this undead woman took one swipe at her with her long nails and killed her instantly. Fanty growled and threw up her hands in disgust, "I hate playing single player. The bots are out to get me-Oh, hey Loki! Hi Star!" Fanty smiled at them, not knowing of a certain plot against her.

"Star, please reconsider this," Loki hissed to her through his clenched smile at Fanty, but Star ignored him completely.

"It sounded like you were getting fed up with the game, so I brought you some lemonade. Don't worry, we're still at a standstill." Star gave a harmless smile, and Loki couldn't help but feel dread in his gut.

"Stalemate." Loki corrected.

"Whatever."

Fanty thanked her and took an entire chug of it. She drank it all to the very drop, and it wasn't until it was gone her eyes widened at the flavor. Utmost terror spread through Loki's stomach, and even Star finally realized her terrible mistake.

Fanty's pupils dilated, and she grinned widely.

Xion was sitting next to Mystic, watching an anime while Drago was writing documents for her next archeological dig she needs to cover. After a moment, Drago looked up. Her expression worried Mystic, so she asked, "You alright, Drago?"

"I feel a disturbance in the Force." Drago worriedly bit her lip.

It's as if it was perfect timing. Somehow, either she was running very fast or she was frikkin' flying, at bullet speed Fanty darted in with a high pitched whoop for joy. Like a pinball, she bounced around the living room and somehow found herself bouncing off the actual ceiling from the massive energy that was put into her bloodstream. Mystic screamed and ducked under the coffee table, narrowly missing Fanty's fallen shoe.

Fanty finished her bouncing around the living room with a theatrical pose, her eyes sparkling and dilated like actual anime eyes.

"CARAMELLDANSEN!" Fanty screamed, and started doing the actual dance at bullet speed.

Everyone watched in horror, then glared in Loki's direction. Immediately, he pointed at Star, who was horrified at the destruction she caused. She winced and rubbed the back of her head.

"I take it this competition has come to an end." Pitch sneered as he folded up the newspaper in his hands, and everyone besides Fanty angrily nodded...Fanty was just bouncing her head uncontrollably to make her vision bounce along with the Hamster Dance music that played in her head.

"HEY GUYS! I CAN SEE NOISES!" Fanty did some sort of Southern jig and with a salute, resumed to bouncing around the chalet.

Drago punched Star gently in the arm, causing her to cringe. "You're the one who has to clean up the mess, how are you going to fix this?"

"Yeah!" Xion, Angel and Mystic agreed together.

Star raised her hands in surrender, her way of saying, 'I don't know, don't kill me please!'

Fanty continued to sprint and frolic around the house, and even did a backflip off the couch. This was the only time she was ever flexible. Drago even tried pinning her down to the ground to get her under control but Fanty tickled her off and did somersaults all the way down the hallway, bumping into almost every corner that came her way. Loki merely ignored her energy, flipping through a political magazine boredly as Fanty's harsh singing echoed from upstairs.

"IF YOU LIKE PINA COLADAS! GETTING CAUGHT IN THE RAIN!" Fanty sang, doing a dramatic opera pose on the stairway.

"That's got to be the fifth time she sang that already." Pitch said through gritted teeth, a vein pulsing in his forehead.

"I could mute her with magic, but she'll just continue to wreak havoc even without sound." Loki grinned, and Pitch chuckled at the idea of muting the most craziest person hyped up on Red Bull he's ever met.

It wasn't until her sugar crash did the doorbell ring, causing everyone to jump in surprise. Loki, not used to the sound of doorbells, flicked out a blade, prepared to hack at whatever harms his fam-uh, he means, friends. Yes, friends...allies. Better.

"What the?! Where'd you get that knife!?" Fanty marched over to him and snatched the thing out of his nimble fingers.

"I-" he started, but she shook a finger at him. Clearly on her sugar crash, she's a lot more irritated and trying to regain the dignity she lost while hyped up.

"No weapons in the house. Or anywhere, for that matter! It's just the doorbell, meaning someone is at our door." Fanty scolded, pocketing the knife into her jeans.

Drago, Angel, Star and Xion turned to look at Mystic, who hid her embarrassed face behind a magazine. After a moment of silence, Angel asked, "You left your weapon's vault open again, didn't you?"

"I...I forgot where I hid the key. I was cleaning it out anyways." Mystic muttered, afraid of looking at Drago's motherly and scolding eyes.

Angel and Star raced to the door to answer, whipping it open to let in refreshing cool air, but also have their eyes lay on the sight of a police cop. Badge, cap, and utility belt and all. He didn't look angry, just tired and wanting to go back home.

"I'm sorry to bother you ladies, but we received a few calls about some sort of disturbance of the peace? Something about loud music and screaming and crashing noises." he said, holding back a yawn.

Angel and Star winced, knowing they might get in hot water for admitting they were in the wrong for that. Angel gave Star a look, and she bit her lip in worry. Fanty's gonna be the one arrested if they admit they were loud and obnoxious, but Loki might also be arrested because of his commotion before in Burgess. The officer didn't know that the troublemaker was staying in this very chalet. Angel cleared her throat, but Star made an eye movement that meant, No. Second chance, please?

"Uh, well...Well, there kinda was-" Angel started, but someone cut her off, and it wasn't Star.

"Forgive us, Officer. It's April Fool's Day and my friends were having competitions to see who would be the best trickster. We understand we took it too far with the loud disruptions." Loki said, stepping from behind them.

The officer blinked twice, clearing thinking he somehow recognized this guy but couldn't exactly place it. He couldn't, and for a second Star and Angel had a panic attack that it was a completely different person by his disguise.

Loki donned some sort of white t-shirt with jagged, green writing and jeans, no shoes. He looked like a student from college. What really altered his features was also the harmless smile on his face and his honest eyes, a rarity that no one really got to see much anymore. It was both irksome and quite welcomed to see! Star and Angel exchanged more-than-happy grins at Loki's kindness.

"Do we need to pay a fine?" he asked.

The officer shook his head, resuming to his tired state, "No, it's alright. I'll let you guys off with a warning. Just keep the music to a minimum, okay kids?" the officer tipped his hat, "You kids have a good evening."

And with that, the officer was back in his cruiser and driving back towards the center of Burgess.

Angel shut the door closed before turning to look at Loki, surprised beyond belief. He was avoiding both Star and Angel's looks, back in his original Asgardian robes. Star opened her mouth for a second, but then looked to Angel if she wanted to say something first.

"Why?" she asked, not even knowing the answer herself.

Loki shrugged before smirking, "I guess you people have been teaching me lessons after all."

Star beamed and hugged him around his middle, causing him to fall back at the sudden gesture. He coughed awkwardly before patting her back, but then Angel hugged him, too. He rolled his eyes, not liking the closeness of this. Granted, he's over a thousand years old but he still believed girls had cooties. Okay, he didn't think that at all, but he sure did act like it. He didn't like being touched.

"Get off." he commanded, lurching his shoulders forward so Angel and Star had to detach themselves from him.

"You're very huggable." Angel beamed, and laughed along with Star.

Loki had a light tint of pink on his cheeks as he muttered under his breath, folding his arms as if he was a kid. But even through the embarrassment of that phrase Angel said, something in him sparked that made him feel content. For a long time, he's felt excluded and unaccepted by both worlds he used to be a part of. His birth home abandoned him, and the realm he grew up in never considered him fully like they did for Thor, just as a second runner up. But here? These girls including the Boogeyman made him feel important, as if he really did have a voice and it was okay to feel anger or upset or down in the dumps. They were misfits that gave no care about it, accepted who they are and enjoyed every minute of their lives. Despite what happened so far and Loki's mistakes, they were able to smile through things. And Loki...finally learned how to do that.

Patience was something he contained before, but acceptance and forgiveness? As well as apology and sympathy? He wasn't accustomed to those, and these newfound friends-or as he words them 'allies'-helped him see through those.

And Odin watched his son from Asgard, smiling faintly. He knew this would be a hard challenge for Loki, and he actually did it. He saw his flaws, and more importantly, he accepted them. He found a place that wanted him, and made him realize that there are more important things than just a throne.

The All Father got up slowly from his throne and turned to his eldest son, Thor. He looked up at him, a slight nod of his head with a smirk.

"You think he is finished?" Thor asked softly.

"Do you?" Odin asked.

Thor thought for a moment, staring at the nebula form in front of the throne that showed a window into the world of Midgard. Loki was cackling and pointing at Fanty, who was dancing on the coffee table with Star and Drago pointing to the floor and telling them to get down. He finally allowed a wide grin to cross his face, and looked back up at his wise father.

"Aye. He's ready to be a king." Thor said truthfully.

Odin left Thor in the Hall, two soldiers by his side to escort him to the realm below.