#the common 3/4 angle my true nemesis

[compacflt]

some more attempts at the top gun class of 86

[xthebirdofhermesx]

Hellsing: Rememberances - Chapter 3

I’m compiling on #Ao3, here, as I go for anyone interested in reading start to finish without having to scroll through Tumblr.

This... started as two little scenes in my head, and now is spiraling out of control in my head. I need to think. Figure out if there’s a small plot I can conjure for a bit since this is all still technically before Ultimate “began”. And where to go from there. Hmmmmmm. Chapter 4 will be part II, and its shaping up to be from Alucard’s perspective, so stay tuned! I have no idea when I’ll get the next part done (This one went really fast, but IRL is a jerk sometimes, and my muse can be a stubborn turd at others) but I will try and have it up as soon as I can figure out what “it” looks like ^_^

Saints and Sinners: Part I Looking in the full length, antique floor mirror that had been her grandmother’s at one time, Integra Hellsing had to admit even she thought she looked a little pale. It wasn’t the dress. The black satin bodice and a-line skirt, strapless frock was lovely and classy. Despite her general aversion to dresses as she’d become far more comfortable in pants over dresses nowadays, she very much liked the 50s style to it. The capelet that covered her shoulders was beaded lace, with a high collar and satin ribbon tie that allow her to affix her crucifix pin to it was well. Hair braided up around her head, she’d decided to go with an up style unlike her normal long, flowing plaits - she felt it made her look more distinguished.

Nor was her pallor a result of the Hellsing operation the evening prior. An operation that had required her to order the execution of approximately fifteen ghoul freaks, one proper vampire and more than two dozen civilians that were on their way to becoming mindless ghouls. No, that was her job. Her duty to Queen and country as was the legacy of her proud family. No, no she’d not even lost a wink of sleep over that.

No, she knew exactly from whence her pallor came. This night there was a party being held in her honor. Downstairs nobility of England, Knights of the Council of Twelve and others, supporters from the Church of England, and what few family friends outside of that left to the Hellsing family were already arriving. There were police officers and royal guard at the gate down the drive and the house proper preventing media and unwanteds from entering. Walter had been bustling about for a week now with preparations, phone calls and deliveries for the food, flowers, decor and his normal duties. Hellsing manor had not seen such a soiree in decades. All for one, momentous evening.

It was Integral Fairbrooks Wingates Hellsing’s eighteenth birthday.

Giving the difficult orders, even at her age, were no longer an issue. Fighting monsters, freaks both with her ultimate weapon, or on the rare occasion she herself had found need or situation to fight, no longer intimidated or threatened her. Nobility and political events, while not her favorite as she detested being unarmed, were also not the issue.

She was going to have to socialize .

Her training as both the head of the Hellsing organization and a knight of the realm was perfection. Overseen by the Queen herself at times, she had never received anything but perfect marks in combat, etiquette, procedure, language or any common core educations. But when it came down to it, she had been raised by a retired vampire slayer as her butler… and Dracula himself. She hadn’t the foggiest idea how she was supposed to maintain idle chit-chat, non work related conversation or casual discourse… with anyone.

Be it from practice, or the fact that he wasn’t trying to be stealthy, Integra saw when the shadows of her room darkened, and Alucard manifested from the wall behind her. She did not see him in the mirror, but the hair at the back of her neck stood up in the presence of his power, as it always did. The human mind, be it unexplained science, or instinct, recognized a predator and their power regardless of trust.

“You should knock,” she said flatly before turning around to face him. She could tell from the wide grin on his face, he was likely entirely informed of her state of mind. Regardless of how many times she’d asked or ordered, when it came to reading her thoughts Alucard could not seem to help himself.

He chuckled, the deep baritone of his voice bringing chill bumps to her exposed arms. “I could not help myself,” he answered as if she’s spoken aloud. “Not tonight. Your trepidation is palpable, and called to me. The fearless Integral Hellsing… chewing her lips over a party.” His head inclined slightly to one side in curiosity. “You had no fear ordering the murder of more than thirty souls not twenty-four hours ago. And yet the living terrify you.”

“The Salvation of those souls is my duty, servant . We released them from a tortured existence. Do not mistake or twist my purpose.”

The large smile returned to the tall man’s face. Integra noticed that he was missing his typical long red coat and dark suit in favor of a different one. So black it seemed to absorb light, the double breasted coat was long, to a few inches above the knees of his matching, pleated pants. Even the red satin cravat he wore was pressed, tied over a new black dress shirt. Though she also noted his unruly mass of back hair was as ever long in the front and shorter in back, curling wildly as if it had a mind all its own.

Red, glowing vampiric eyes narrowed as the ancient vampire observed her, observing him. “Penny for your thoughts,” he rumbled smugly at his own joke.

Integra merely raised one perfectly arched eyebrow over her crystal blue eyes. “You look… nice.”

This clearly amused him as the No Life King’s head fell back with laughter. At the same time he began walking towards her slowly. “Oh my sweet master,” he said, stopping only inches from her, “How you strive for your heart to be carved from the coldest, most unyeilding ice. And yet I know so much differently.”

Now it was her turn to incline her head curiously. “So you believe,” she said, but were she honest, she wasn’t sure what he knew - or thought he knew.

Alucard just smiled. “Tonight, you become the true, legal leader of this organization.”

“You’re changing the subject.”

“Am I?” he purred. “Or am I acknowledging that the beautiful, bloodthirsty and unflinching granddaughter of my once nemesis stands before me wrapped like a Christmas present in satin and disdain… on the day she becomes legally an adult?”

She frowned before she could school her reaction, replaying his words in her mind as she had no idea what on Earth they were supposed to mean together, until- oh. Oh. Ohhhhh .

He was granted the satisfaction of seeing her blush hotly before she turned away from him and reaching for her black, satin wrist gloves. “You’re disgusting, Alucard. How dare you imply such undertones in my presence. Had I any time for such thoughts, they would certainly not be of a five and a half century-old warlord King turned monster.”

“Liar.”

That one word hung in the air between them along with her hesitation and his shit-eating grin.

“No man or woman is in control of their unconscious mind. How dare you-”

“The unconscious mind merely shows us the truths of what we refuse to acknowledge with our conscious minds.” His voice was closer. Right over her shoulder now. She’d been so lambasted at the subject, she’d not been paying attention peripherally and certain not seen him move in the mirror as he bore no reflection.

Straightening up to turn and give Alucard a rather loud piece of her mind, Integra’s voice caught in her throat when she found herself nose to nose with him. Steel. Her mind had to be steel. Her expression, steel. Heart? Steel. It took such a mantra to not give him the satisfaction of her surprise. “You’re invading my personal space, vampire.”

“Mmm, am I?” He did not move a muscle.

“Stand back, monster. That is an order.”

One dark eyebrow raised slowly towards his hair, amusement sparkling in his eyes. “As you wish, my master - if ,” he said, still right where he had been, “That is what you truly desire.”

God help her she hesitated. He was right, she’d been dreaming about him in very… blush worthy ways. She was well read, she knew all the biology lessons and the chemicals involved with growing up, maturing both mentally, emotionally and sexually. She understood attraction. She understood what romance was. In fact, she had a small stash, in the box under her bed, of lovely little fantasy fiction novels, each with a bit of romance in them that usually made her sigh internally. None of this was unexpected, or abnormal.

Other than the subject of her explicit dreams being the most powerful of all vampires and king of the undead.

“It is what I truly desire,” she snapped at him, but her voice cracked, and he just grinned more wildly.

“Liar.”

“That’s twice you’ve called me a liar tonight and if you do it again, I will shoot you myself with every blessed bullet I can lay my damn hands on!” she prattled off at him as if it were rote. Which, if she were honest, it was becoming that way.

But Alucard didn’t back up. He stopped leaning, standing to his full height and allowing her to stop leaning away from him at an odd angle. However he still stood so very close to her. His ruby eyes never leaving her face, Alucard reached up and ran the back of his gloved fingers over the rise of her cheek. “What would you say, if I asked you to join me in unlife, my master? To rule the night, drink blood, cut down any who would oppose us and be my queen for eternity as an equal?”

Integra either hadn’t noticed or didn’t care that she had plenty of room to step away from him now that he wasn’t leaning. His caress of her face burned through her and she was having a hard time parsing in her mind what exactly was happening to her. “I would rather die than become a monster like you.”

“And what would you say after that?” he grinned. “After you gave me the answer your Council and the Queen and England expect of you- what you were raised to say- what you may superficially believe you mean- now that that answer is out of the way… What would your heart answer?”

She blinked at him slowly, wanting with everything she was to affirm that her words were in fact the answer to both. That she would never give in to such a dark, evil temptation and that he would leave her quarters right that instant to his dungeon to miss the party as punishment for his insubordination. That or just unload a clip into him to make herself feel better.

That is not, however, what happened.

If there was one thing that she could say with clarity and certainty, it was that she had never lied to Alucard. She may have omitted information not pertinent to him, or for the protection of herself mostly- especially after her final testing as part of her schooling where she’d had to go to London proper and a facility in which he followed and made a nuisance of himself all damn day. And she would try to conceal her privacy, lying about seeing him in her dreams or other such personal business because he was ever so damnably nosy. But she had never once lied… about anything truly big or important. Oddly… this felt big and important.

“I do not know, Alucard,” she sighed and crossed one arm over her chest, the other pressing a palm to her forehead. “If you asked me now- here and now... not in hypothetical, I would say no. I have too much to do, both in duty and as a person, too much to accomplish and experience as a human being to have any desire to step off this mortal coil and onto the dark, monstrous immortal one you walk.

“But if I were dying, if there was no hope to save my life and I knew the end was near… I cannot say for certain I would turn you down.”

He had been listening with a bemused expression at her internal turmoil and patently Hellsing answer, but with her final words his face alit with a nearly manic smile. “That, my master, is not a no.”

She sighed lifting her head from her palm to roll her eyes and look at him. “How observant of you. I am about to have to go field over one hundred people I barely know, and like even less in some cases, and I do not have the widgets to play your games right now.”

“Then, with your permission, may I give you your birthday gift, and escort you down stairs, my master?” he asked and Integra knew, expected there was a catch. At the very least something he was hiding.

“Fine,” she rumbled and stuffed her hands into her gloves. But then a thought occurred to her. “Wait when would you have left to get me anythin-”

She was cut off when he reached out and placed a hand in the small of her back and pulled her against his chest. He did not pin her, if Integra wanted to squirm away, she could have and they both knew it. She thought about it, and he saw it in her eyes that she thought about it.

And yet, she did not move.

“What are you doing?”

Alucard smiled broadly. “Giving you your birthday gift.”

He leaned down, and the moment his lips brushed hers, Integra had never known such fire to ignite within her. His skin was cool but soft and she found that not only had the old bastard bothered to put on cologne and brush his teeth, but she ached very suddenly, and very painfully for him to finish that physical thought.

Alucard only grinned where she could feel it, hovering but not actually making the final movement that would bring them together. “Oh for Heaven’s sake, you bastard,” she swore and lifting up on tiptoe, pressed her lips to his in a chaste, but heated kiss.

His other arm came around her and cradled the back of her neck, her arms coming to wrap around his neck and hold him there so she could kiss him longer. A soft, but deeply male moan escaped him and Integra knew that if this continued, there was a solid chance she might have a very impressive list of regrets in the morning.

Or merely an impressive list of firsts.

A knock on the door shattered the momentary spell, and Integra found herself suddenly staring at Alucard’s back where he stood between her and the door, and any possible threats. “Madame, the guests have arrived,” Walter’s voice called politely from the other side of the door. “I believe it is time for you to make your entrance. Shall I fetch the Count?”

Tucking a stray strand of hair loosed in their moment behind her ear, Integra cleared her throat and straightened her dress. “I believe he knows, Walter. That won’t be necessary. I will meet you atop the stairs in a few moments.”

“Of course, my lady.”

When Walter’s footsteps could no longer be heard, Integra looked up to Alucard to see his eyes glowing darkly under the shadow of his hair. He’d moved so quickly she’d not only not seen, but it had taken a second for her to register what had happened. Now, she stood staring into the burning eyes of a damned soul and true monster. She had to remember that. She had to remind herself that he was a monster, her servant. A weapon. A tool to we wielded against the darkness…

...And if he had then leaned down to kiss her again, she would not have stopped him.

Hell.

Before her train of thought could go any further, she noticed that same monster was holding his arm out to her like a gentleman. A wolf in sheep’s clothing. A handsome, dark angel of death and destruction. Some might say The Devil Himself.

“Best not to keep your public waiting,” he rumbled, but there was more to his tone than his usual torment in that statement. If Integra had a gun to her head for an answer, she’d have guessed there was a note of longing to his words.

Accepting his arm and letting him lead her to the door, she acknowledged in her mind for the first time that day that she was actually terrified of the living downstairs and completely… well at least mostly, comfortable with the monster on whose arm she walked. As he opened the door, she stopped him, tugging ever so slightly at his elbow. “Alucard,” she whispered, preventing echoes and eavesdropping, “Do not stray far from me this evening.”

His expression melted from poise, to sadistic delight as he smiled. “Is that an order, or a request, my master?”

She thought about it a moment, facing forward once more to resume their pace. Finally she sighed.

“Both.”

[shenzhenblog]

10 questions to find real meaning at work

First, let’s start with one over-arching question: what is a successful career?

It’s time to move away from the idea of success defined by an organization or your supervisor, to significance defined by us. Relentlessly grasping after the next rung of the ladder doesn’t work, for the following three reasons.

First: If we only value those who have reached the top of the hierarchy, then by definition we’re writing off the other 99.99%. We create a cruel assembly line that produces myriad people who are frustrated and unhappy, who believe – often wrongly – that only those who arrived at the top truly triumphed.

Second: By seeing our careers as a race, we enter a state of constant struggle, pitting “us” against everyone else. Think, for example, about incentive systems: I have seen many and – mea culpa – designed some that are focused on individual performance results, but never based on sharing, cooperation or a sense of purpose.

I believe that stress is not linked solely to the amount of work we have, but rather on the poor quality of the relationships we develop with our colleagues. An organizational climate of “dog eats dog” downgrades our relationships, so they become only transactional and utilitarian, losing any trace of connection between people. This obsession with appearance over substance strips us of our humanity.

Third: we all end up taking part in a rat race. We became so self-absorbed and busy trying to win this race that we forget that even by winning it, we will still remain rats. And not just rats, but vulnerable rats: the chronic economic crisis, corporate restructuring and a whole slew of other circumstances beyond our control can all oust us from our jobs. If corporate success is the only way you define your identity, then that identity can be easily destroyed, with all the emotional and social consequences that result.

Albert Einstein is credited with writing, “If I had an hour to solve a problem and my life depended on the solution, I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper question to ask. For if I knew the proper question, I could solve that problem in less than 5 minutes.”

Instead of endlessly rushing through our working lives, we need to stop and consider the questions that will help us truly get the best out of our careers. In my book, “La Bussola del Successo” (the Compass of Success), I have identified 10 powerful questions that, in my view, provide a means to guide yourself to a more meaningful career and will help you to totally redefine what real success means.

1. What is your purpose?

The author Mark Twain once wrote: “the two most important days of your life are the day in which you are born and the day in which you find out why.” You therefore need to ask yourself the following questions. What is your real purpose? Why are you here, doing what you’re doing right now?

A very common mistake is to confuse purpose with objectives or goals. Purpose is, for example, to become great at what you do, while a goal is to be promoted or to accomplish a task. Accomplishing many tasks cannot sum up to a meaningful purpose. Other people and external circumstances can all bulldoze their way through your goals and objectives; but they cannot destroy your purpose. We are all purpose seekers: what is yours? Here’s a hint: a meaningful purpose is one that is bigger than you are, and it is related to a cause and a mission that you deeply believe in. Think about it: do you want to be a missionary or a mercenary? Focus on sustainable impact, not short-terms results.

2. What are your strengths?

After 20 years as Head of Human Resources in several organizations and countries, I have learned that everyone has a talent, a true treasure inside waiting to be discovered. But discovering your talent it is not enough: you need to relentlessly use it and improve it. Talent is overrated; it plays only a minor part in our success.

Flavia Pennetta of Italy celebrates her victory

Image: USA Today Sports

Success means a constant effort to improve and a refusal to tolerate mediocrity. Your real strength is therefore your talent multiplied by the effort you have invested in developing it. As the saying goes, success is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration. Think about the athletes at the Olympics: the few seconds or minutes of their performance are only the final reflection of years, if not decades, of efforts, sacrifice and small improvements.

When Flavia Pennetta won the US Tennis open at age 33, a journalist told her: “The last shot was a stroke of genius”. “Genius? I have worked 20 years on thatshot,” she replied. Michael Phelps has entered legend by winning 23 gold medals, a feat of astonishing perseverance that cannot be accomplished by raw talent alone.

3. Can you manage your ego, and build bridges not walls?

Ryan Holiday, the American author and entrepreneur, goes as far as to argue that “ego is the enemy”. So the question is: can you manage, and possibly even kill, your own ego? Can you suppress your pride, your propensity to take credit and your craving for the spotlight? Can you really listen to other views, not because it’s the done thing, but because you actually care? If you keep answering no, you’re afflicted by what the Ancient Greeks called “hubris”: the dangerous overconfidence of being right while everyone else is wrong.

So many political and economic downfalls were built on the faulty bedrock of hubris. If we return to the Greeks, then hubris always led to the unfortunate appearance of Nemesis, or divine retribution. Before disaster strikes in your career, you need to build bridges and destroy walls to constantly connect with other people, as you will never be alone on your journey.

4. What is the opposite of success?

If you answered “failure”, think again. Who is the basketball player who missed thousands of shots in his career? Michael Jordan, reputed as the greatest player of all times. Nelson Mandela once said: “I never lose. I either win or learn.” Re-read this beautiful phrase. I never lose. I either win or learn. Failure is not the opposite of success but rather a key component of it, providing that we learn from our mistakes. Failure is therefore defined in my book not as the absence of learning and reflection. As a Japanese proverb puts it: “Life is falling seven times, and standing up eight.”

5. How can you understand the complexity and the culture of your organization?

You don’t need to be an expert in organizational behavior, but you do need to fully understand the culture of the company we work for. You need to understand its important norms and rules, most of which are not written or explicit. If you do not understand them, you will be eaten by the locals. My book provides simple and practical tools to “decode” organizations. One example: look at the people at the top of your organization. How did they get there? Merit, competence, integrity, results? Or some other factor? You should look at the narrative which unfolds when you observe who gets to the top.

6. How can you build trust?

Building trust is a central theme among people, organizations and societies and it is something you construct with time and hard work. Your reputation is going to be a pillar of your career. So how do you build your reputation? Character, credibility, being there when you are needed, competence, reliability, results, integrity: all of these count. Arrogance and conflicts of interest, whether real or perceived, are both corrosive to trust. Remember: candidates may be recruited for their qualifications, but people are promoted mainly based on trust.

7. How do you handle difficult choices?

In your career, you will have difficult choices to make, what I call “courage of your convictions moments”, when technical skills will not be enough to help you find the right path or the best solution to a thorny problem. It will be therefore be a question of character. History shows us where blind obedience to authority, at its most extreme, can lead, while psychology shows us how hard it can be to say no. The Milgram experiments notoriously revealed that volunteers were prepared to give people electric shocks on command. Refusing to follow orders is a potent asset in your career. You should never lose sight of your convictions. Throughout your career, you will deal with many difficult circumstances: they may not change you, but they will reveal who you are.

8. How many lenses do you use?

I once went to a presentation given by a famous photographer. He showed us some pictures from a Caribbean Island: they were truly nice images but a little bit boring, kind of postcard-style and predictable. Then he showed us some other pictures: they were taken in the same place, but looked totally different: the light, the perspective, the colours, everything. He told us that, in the first set of pictures, he used the same lenses, while he used many different lenses and angles for the second set. This is what diversity means to me. You need different lenses to see reality from different viewpoints, and to avoid the tempting idea that only you have the right perspective, that only your ideology is correct.

Taking the idea of lenses and applying it to the workplace helps you to understand complexity, connect the dots and appreciate different perspectives. This has never been more important, at a time when we need to build bridges of tolerance and inclusion to counter those who seek to build walls between countries, ideas and people. Diversity is an immense wealth. While organisations like the World Bank are finding ways to measure diversity and foster it, countries like Canada see diversity as a crucial part of their culture and a pillar of their prosperity.

9. Are you a learning machine?

Learning never stops. In 1938, Ingeborg Rapoport had just finished writing her thesis in medicine and was about to become a doctor when, because of the odious racial laws passed by the Nazi regime, she was denied the qualification because of her Jewish heritage. She emigrated to the United States, where she continued her studies in medicine, working in many hospitals as a pediatrician and neonatologist before returning to East Germany in her fifties, where she founded the first clinic of neonatology in East Berlin. In 2015, the University of Hamburg decided to remedy the injustice and, after 77 years, she defended her dissertation of 1938, and obtained her degree at the age of 102 years. For her commitment to learning and fighting this injustice she is one of my heroes.

Become a learning machine, enjoy successful failures and don’t stop learning, even when you are 102. Let’s invent the future by investing in our learning. It will be – most of the time – a joyful journey to freedom, as whatever happens in the office, nobody can take away what you have learned.

10. Do you love what you are doing?

A little while ago I was in Antigua, Guatemala, one of my favorite places on the planet. I fell in love with the watercolors of a street artist called Gerardo, who was working around the clock to produce wonderful landscapes. I wanted to buy one of his works of art but he had none left, except the one he was working on, which was unfinished. As I was leaving the country, I could not wait, so I insisted on buying the watercolor and asked him for a discount, since it was not finished yet. Gerardo asked me for twice the price he normally charged. I was surprised and somewhat upset; and asked him why he was charging me double for something incomplete. Gerardo replied: “Because you’re taking away from me the joy of doing something I really love.” I paid him what he asked for, knowing that I got a priceless lesson in life. If someone has to pay you to stop doing something, you really love what you are doing.

I hope that my book will transform your understanding of a successful career, dismantling the idea that there can only be a few winners, and most will lose. A successful career is something profound, meaningful and relevant – for all of us, not just a select few. In the midst of the Fourth Industrial Revolution, in an age of radical transformation and technological upheaval, we need to anchor our working lives and our identity to our values. The Compass of Success helps us to pause and reflect about who we are, what we stand for and how we can have a successful career that is filled with purpose, integrity and passion.

Note : This article was originally published on https://www.weforum.org

  Paolo Gallo

Over the last 30 years, Paolo Gallo has been Chief Human Resources Officer at the World Economic Forum in Geneva; Chief Learning Officer at The World Bank in Washington DC; and Director of Human Resources at the European Bank for Reconstruction & Development in London.

10 questions to find real meaning at work was originally published on Shenzhen Blog