#i feel like w/ everything i can get 90% of the way there but im missing that last 10% ykwim

[compacflt]

some more attempts at the top gun class of 86

[piplupod]

my sister has taken to calling really fucking normal ass opinions "radically liberal" and i am so so so tired. so unbelievably tired. i thought university was supposed to turn u into a leftist, not just give you more language to shit on leftist politics. what the fuck.

[distorted59]

girlll im thinking about modern 90s jason (black album era w the undercut fr) and i literally feel like he'd be such a good boyfriend likeee youre definitely his lockscreen and his homescreen

i need more to read abt this man😣😣🙏🙇‍♀️

OH DEFINITLEY!!!!!

He's such a sweetheart!!! very romantic and also a goofbal, but he can also be pretty intimidating and agressive.

like, he can be so overly sweet with you, all lovey-dovey shit. sweet little kisses here and gentle touches there. but, if he feels like it, he would rawdog you with any chance he'd get.

if we're talking about modern!90sJason, he would in fact have you everywhere on his phone. lockscreen, homescreen, and widgets!! cute little pics of the two of you <3.

literally texts you everyday;

"Hey, baby. I just wanna say i luv you <3!"

"Aww! I luv you too Jase <3!"

would he sent you freaky pics? definitley.

he makes you laugh so much, he has such a good heart. just wants to show you his love in any way he can. lots of cuddles and you can really talk to him about anything, he'll always listen. <3

whenever he comes home and is tired, cause the boys have been nagging on him all day. either slow, heartfelt and comforting sex. where you hold him in your arms all night. shushing him and saying that everything will be alright, and that he's very talented.

or

he would pound into you from behind, gripping your hips so tight it sure as hell is going to leave some bruises for you to find the next day.

"Mine." he says through gritted teeth. "only mine, fuck i needed this."

he pounds harder into you and you can barely keep yourself upright. your knees and elbows hurt and you're starting to shake.

"keep up for me, pretty girl, c'mon."

yes, me loooooves Jason <3

[starfxkr]

have been thinking a lot about loser rafe lately.. i think its so interesting that in fics he’s consistently written as mister popular everyone knows him all the girls want him but like. if you look at canon theres not actually a lot of evidence until season 3 but i have thoughts on that this is a long one lets get #meta

season one the only people he hangs out with/talks to are topper kelce and barry and barry didnt even fuck w him like that he was still just the plug 😭 hes selling coke at that party but who do we see him talking to besides the drunk/high girls that are all over him because he has well. coke! i feel like season one is the best representation of his social status on the island because its really the only window we have into what their normal lives looked like before everything snowballed with the gold and tbh nothing about him was giving king of kildare

season two bro is going through a lot the only person who fucks with him is barry and he like kind of talks to topper even though they clearly dont like each other because who else does he have to talk to? hes clearly been ostracized to some degree by his peers because yeah he was cleared and released but he was ARRESTED. IN RELATION TO A MURDER. and all the mess with his dad like its a small island everybody knows everybodys business and tbh i dont even think just that would be enough to justify him being so entirely alone. rich white kids do not have morals. we’ve seen rich white men that have done worse and actually been convicted/held accountable assimilate back into their respective communities with ease and i think the same would have happened to rafe if he already had the clout for it but he clearly doesn’t but you know who does? SARAH. she comes back from everything in s3 and all her old kook peers are quick to welcome her back in hungry for details about everything she’s experienced. now rafe.. we see him getting drunk alone at the country club in the middle of the day like oh thats not

now season three yeah he comes back to kildare he wants to be a real man like his daddy blah blah blah he takes over tannyhill and throws that big party but he has. no friends. i dont even mean close friends bc duh but he comes back and theres not even a oh shit rafe’s back like his revival actually made no noise thats soooooakslskjskdld you cannot tell me that all the people at that party were not 90% tourons 10% nosy locals 100% people just looking for free liq and a sick party these are not rafes peers from season one

tldr i think on the surface its really easy to see the boxes rafe checks off (rich young hot popular sister etc) and assume that everybody wanted him or to be him and everybody writes him like that but im gonna touch your hand when i say this . he is a loser. if rose thought he was weird as fuck from when he was 10 years old i’m sure everyone else on the island could smell it too. i need more people to write rafe as sarah’s weird mean friendless bitchless Not Quite Right older brother LOOK AT THE MATERIAL

THANK YOU THANK YOU I CONSISTENTLY SAY BARRY IS RAFES ONLY REAL FRIEND

like i say this all the time but rafe is really fuckin weird and off-putting. there's this sense that he's kinda...wearing human skin. like he's moving around barely able to contain his worst impulses and everyone can like sense that? rafe has always been not quite right and he's not very good at hiding that either.

like everything rafe does seems off, and you make such a good point about him not being able go back into the fold properly makes sense if you peel back the layers and see he wasn't really well liked to begin with? topper was way more popular than rafe and in many was rafe and topper are only friends because of sarah and even then rafe is weird about using topper as a means of control over her.

but yeah you summed it up perfectly rafe doesnt give kook king forreal hes a weird, friendless loser who can barely hide his true self in public.

[rjalker]

id call myself cpunk but i am scared the disabled community wont think im disabled enough even though i have chronic pain that affects my ability to live and do basic tasks......

im in denial lol esp w/ the discourse

You are 100% welcome, the Cripplepunk community is welcoming to all physically disabled people (it's just the ableists and ablebodied jackasses anyone has a problem with), and if you have chronic pain, you're physically disabled.

I'd suggest looking through Cripplepunk blogs who post about chronic pain, or just checking out the chronic pain tag, if you want to see what people are talking about.

Chronic pain is a physical disability, even if the rest of society makes it seem like you're just being lazy or a crybaby. The normal level of pain for ablebodied people is none, and especially if it's impacting your ability to function, you're definitely physically disabled, and you'll be welcome in the Cripplepunk tag :)

The "discourse" is people who aren't physically disabled in any way by any definition, who think that they can just "loophole" their way into calling themselves physically disabled, by pretending that physical disability is like...

Like, a riddle or something, and they're trying to be Extra Clever™ in solving it in the most obnoxious way possible, so they come up with "Well, I'm autistic and ablebodied, but the brain is an organ, and autism comes from the brain, so therefore, my brain is disabled, so that means I'm technically physically disabled! Ha! Checkmate, cripples!"

And completely ignore the actual meaning of the words being used, and ignoring the fact that physically disabled people can't "Well, actually--" our disabilities away. Physical disabilities don't stop existing because of a technicality in language that's purposefully ignoring the context.

You can't tell your chronic pain, "Well, actually, you're just a product of my brain, so you can stop now". Talking about your feelings and learning coping mechanisms for when you're feeling upset isn't going to stop your chronic pain, because it's not an emotional problem, it's a physical one.

But these people think that they should get an award for "loopholing" their way into claiming they're physically disabled, while suffering none of the drawbacks of actually being physically disabled. Like chronic pain, and the kinds of systemic ableism that only impact physically disabled people, like lack of access to 90% of society via lack of ramps, no sidewalks, no elevators, doors that are too narrow, and so much more.

Physically disabled people are welcome in Cripplepunk as long as they're not ableist, and if you have chronic pain, you are welcome. No one who belongs in the Cripplepunk movement is going to judge you or tell you you're "not disabled enough" by comparing your chronic pain to theirs, or anything like that. And anyone who tries is gonna be the one who's not welcome in the community.

Here I've copied the original principles and rules of Cripplepunk:

Principles of Cripple Punk:

Cripple punk is exclusively by the physically disabled for the physically disabled

Cripple punk is about solidarity & is open to all physically disabled people

Cripple punk rejects pity, inspiration porn, & all other forms of ableism

Cripple punk rejects the “good cripple” mythos. Cripple punk is here for the bitter cripple, the uninspirational cripple, the smoking cripple, the drinking cripple, the addict cripple, the cripple who hasn’t “tried everything”

Cripple punk fights internalized ableism & fully supports those struggling  with it

Cripple punk respects intersections of race, culture, gender, sexual/romantic orientation, size, intersex status, mental illness/neuroatypical status, survivor status, etc.

Cripple punk recognizes that there is no one universal disabled experience

[originally italicized for emphasis] Cripple punk does not pander to the able bodied

Rules of Cripple Punk:

Cripple punk is not conditional on things like mobility aids & “functioning levels”

Always listen to those w/ different physical disabilities & different intersections than yourself. Do not speak over them

Disabled people do not need to personally identify w/ the words “cripple” or “punk” individually to be a part of cripple punk

Able bodied people wishing to spread the message may only ever amplify the voices of the disabled

Able bodied people may never use uncensored slurs themselves, but never censor our language

Able bodied people must always tag things like reblogs with “I’m able bodied”

Physically disabled people wanting to be a part of the movement who are uncomfortable using the slur may refer to it as “cpunk”

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

some of y’all might’ve noticed that like 90% of the shit i reblog lately is tagged just “#tag later” and this is bc my new job has me working three 12hr overnight shifts a week and this leaves me too exhausted to tag things correctly. i started doing this back in like october-november when i was working AND going to school and was basically doing 52 hrs of work a week and i started tagging the wrong characters and shit and ppl would point it out and i was like aw FUCK. so i started tagging shit “tag later” with the idea that when i stopped having to do these hellish 52hr weeks i’d be less exhausted and i could go through that tag and fix everything. however with my new job there isn’t rlly an end in sight, this is just my life now (and fwiw i rlly like it even if my tagging game is slipping, i love my job). i’ve been tagging stuff “tag later” pretty consistently and i’m starting to think that maybe Employed Jess just can’t keep up w the combo of 1. Having A Full Time Job, 2. my insane tagging system, and 3. my obsessive need to see Every Single Post On My Dashboard. so my options are:

give up on the tagging system altogether (genuinely can’t imagine doing this. reblogging stuff with no way to sort it into categories??? the fuck?????? that’s fucking insane to me. i think i’d get so anxious abt my blog being an infinite unsortable jumble of ofmd posts that i’d delete my whole blog in a panic one night)

simplify the tagging system somewhat (somewhat more doable but also the difference between my old tagging system and my new tagging system on different posts would still drive me fucking insane)

try to get over my anxiety about Seeing Every Single Post and just focus on actually tagging things correctly when i go to reblog them (this one is fun bc if i actually manage to conquer this neurosis then i can finally follow back the dozens of rlly cool ofmd blogs that im only not following bc i’m weird abt how i use tumblr. however i think what would be more likely to happen is i would follow everyone and then still be anal abt seeing every post, but now my dash would be functionally infinite and then i’d be wasting even more time scrolling on tumblr trying to catch up on my dashboard during work or when i’m supposed to be sleeping. and then i’d have to unfollow ppl to stop my life from falling into chaos and i’d feel rlly bad)

seriously limit my time on tumblr just in general and try to focus more on other hobbies in my free time (dgmw there would still be a lot of ofmd in my life i’d just be doing more, like, catching up on fics i’ve been meaning to read or something. maybe even writing more of my own fics??? that sounds fake to me but who knows)

just keep doing what i’m doing and maybe i’ll get better at the whole “work life balance” thing and i’ll be less exhausted all the time and i’ll finally be able to catch up on tagging everything

[temperamentalaquarius]

any thoughts on batman: black mirror? i really enjoyed it (as a non-batfamily fan) but i'm wondering if there is a difference of opinion with people who are actually acquainted with the context behind black mirror, i guess. which parts did you find the strongest + which parts did you find the weakest?

anyways, im a huge fan of your comics-posting (which is both, in the best way, entertaining and insightful). have a great day!

Ahhh thank u!! I'm glad I'm not the only one having fun 😁!!!

Thank you so much for sending this, I loved the dick!bats era and I liked The Black Mirror!!

I thought it was a decent Dick story, and I loved that it had Babs and Tim as the supporting cast. It was good to see them back(mostly) in their 90s early 2000s element.

I thought that the A plot was better than the serial killer B plot-; it had a lot of personal connection for Dick without being about the Graysons and orcas(which are some of the most vicious and borderline cruel predators that terrify me to my core and it was really cool to see them get some use)- even if I didn't find the ending super satisfying.

I thought James was interesting, and his story was more linear but the addition of the Joker into the situation was kind of just...messy and not entirely necessary? It kind of killed it for me. Idk I might just have Joker fatigue. I did like the coloring and a good portion of the art better in that part of the story, tho. I thought the mood they set was really cool and a little scary.

My high points were all (unsurprisingly) character based:

I loved the way Tim saving Dick from his own shit here

Kinda paralleled this scene in NW 96

But more mature. Watching them go from Dick mentoring Tim to them having a much more balanced relationship where Tim can fully have Dick's back has always been super satisfying and seeing it making a come back after their little fallout was cool

I also like the attention paid to the differences in Bruce and Dick's philosophy (specifically here:

) and the difficulty that Batman presents Dick because of it. Part of the appeal of Dick being Batman is the reluctance and the chunk of flesh it takes out of him and I think this story really got the tone of that right. He's making mistakes that he wouldn't normally, he's not sleeping; you can really tell that everything is getting to him. He feels like the walls are closing in on him with no way out (sometimes literally) and it makes the whole story kind of..weary? It's as much man vs man as it is man vs self. Love that many of the action sequences in the book happen in enclosed places that have an unstoppable deadly force converging on him with no way out and how that emphasizes the theme

OH and my absolute favorite analogy for the mindset that dick operates w/ is in this book

And how that works with his parents rules for survival

There's like... a debate on whether Dick plans or if he acts on instinct and I like the way that this breaks it down to: yes, he's planning from the start and if it seems like he isn't it's because that's what he wants you to think- but he understands that leaving space to bob and weave is a part of that process. Ultimate planner that is liable to start behaving erratically as fuck at any moment is such a fun look

Favorite fight was probably the horror forward snap at the auction, with honorarable mentions going to Dick v.s the compactor, Dick v.s. the orca, and of course Dick v.s. The bends

Worst was by far this one:

There is no way he should've been able to waltz into Babs' hideout without her knowing I'm so sorry it's just not realistic, like, that's Barbara Gordon???

[thisdreamplace]

i get confused when people say you shouldn’t mix loass and non dualism because i feel like loass cannot be operated as a conscious and consistent practice without nd? why are people acting like it’s blasphemy to recognize how nd facilitates loass? is it that people are understanding loass as ego-based? nd ≠ loass, but to me loass IS nd actioned into a creative practice? help 😫

youre so real for this anon <3

i say, this is why we have to be able to think for ourselves and not just listen to everything people say online. lol bc... youre like... not wrong (and i know a lot of people aint gonna like me for saying that lmfao)

but i remember when nd started to gain popularity and how some accs were SWEARRRRINNNG it has nothing to do w loa and how dare anyone confuse the two. and im just sitting there reading like o___O but theyre literally interwined. and i get why people would want to totally seperate the two, bc no one ever says it, but i think loa scarred/traumatized a lot of us.

its like when everyone first switched from loattraction to loassumption and were like ewww theyre not the same thing dont get them confused !! but it was bc 90% of people at the time had been failed by loattraction and felt like loass was the solution they had been looking for lol and yet, they are the same in ending, different in practice. teaching the same point, in different ways. two different paths with the same destination. nd is like this.

nondualism skips to what the point of loass is, which a lot of people dont see bc they associate loass with manifesting ur desires and that is the ~mainstream~ idea of it. but it is a popular misunderstanding. anyone who has mastered loass has simultaneously succeeded in what nd teaches. with an actual understanding of what loass is, it was never about getting ur desires. it was always about reaching "the promise"... however, people tend to focus much more on the manifesting part, which isnt a problem in loass. its a problem in the people who decided to teach loass. but that was kinda the point. if it werent for knowing about being able to get ur desires, a lot of people wouldnt have listened. but it brought us here, and nd gets to focus on the actual point. the promise. the thing is that manifesting desires has been grossly focused on, and skews the point of loass. lol

the thing is, nd focuses on the end "goal" entirely, so they seem to be different to people who have a mainstream understanding of loass. and there's also semantics, which is entirely fair. for some people, the way loass is explained doesnt click but nd does. and thats why it can make sense to group it seperately, bc they are taught differently. however, once again, you have two different routes leading to the same destination. its not that complicated, but for some reason ppl like to complicate it by calling it a whole new thing. theyre all so delicately intertwined though, and i think thats great. bc we're all different people and we will respond and understand things differently.

so many different roads, simply to lead us back to who we truly are, to wake up from this dream and experience the true self.

so yeah, youre right. and this is why you should learn to trust yourself. :)

"this place is a dream, only a sleeper considers it real. then death comes like dawn, and you wake up laughing at what you thought was your grief." -- rumi

felt like it was relevant to place that here, as that is the exact quote that inspired the name of my blog so many years ago. and rumi is no loass guru, nor nd teacher. and yet, and yet. it just goes to show how interconnected this all is, because of the fact that it all comes from the same source conciousness. <3

xo 🕊🫧

[iraprince]

hi ira, you're a big inspo for me! especially as a fellow adhd artist.. i often struggle with "letting go" sketches / leaving them be, i always end up focusing on each as if it has to become a full piece. i personally feel this is bc of my adhd and was wondering if you struggled with something similar, or had any advice on sketching?

thank you so much! and yeah, okay, let's chew on this one and see what we can come up with.

so i actually usually have the opposite problem: I can generate a bunch of loose sketches really quickly, but i have a really hard time buckling down and putting the focus in to take any of them all the way to being full pieces. i think sketching and leaving those sketches as-is comes easily to me because i enjoy it (as in i physically enjoy the feeling of drawing in a loose, gestural style, AND i aesthetically enjoy how unfinished sketches look), and i'm extremely accustomed to it (most workdays i start up by doing ~45-90 mins of sketches, usually a few digital pages worth). these things combine so that the habit of churning out a bunch of little images and then immediately moving on is something that's really natural to me.

HOWEVER i am def not just advising "sit yourself down and sketch for an hour and a half every day" with no other context; i think "draw every day" as ironclad advice is usually pretty clumsy and isn't always applicable to how people work best, or always effective against what actually trips people up with art stuff. i think a lot of this is abt getting mindset right!!! drilling and repetition is good later for building speed and confidence but it's not as useful until u've figured out the underlying struggle imo.

so, some thoughts:

do u keep going on the sketch bc u get distracted by the idea of the final piece, and u just get sucked in to progressing toward that? for me, sometimes i do nail a sketch and im like "ooh, i want to do something more with that!" — but because these sketches happen during my warmup time and i need to keep moving, i don't do it right away. i usually just make a note right on the canvas, or i copy/paste the sketch into a separate file to come back to later. if u get the urge to keep going on a piece bc u want it to have more, but what u Actually want is to do a few more sketches, consider scooting the sketch over into a wip file/folder/etc for later (if ur working digitally; set it aside in a physical wip folder if you're working traditionally).

do u keep going on the sketch bc ur insecure about the fact that it isn't polished, or bc u feel like it "needs" more to look good? u may be affected by The Spectre of Posting. something i have wrestled with constantly and that i think many artists wrestle with is that, even if we aren't having these thoughts consciously, whenever ur drawing there is kind of this little voice in the back of ur head that's like. "is this gonna be good enough to post. if it turns out crappy i won't want to post it and then i will have wasted all this time. will this flop? if i post this will it make me look like i'm bad at drawing? what if this isn't as good as the last thing i posted and then it looks like im getting worse" and on and on and fucking on. this is all fucking nonsense, but also it's really hard to break out of. try, as hard as you possibly can, to start becoming okay w the idea that not everything is for posting, and that if something doesn't turn out great or u don't necessarily want it to like Artistically Represent You then nobody ever has to see it, and i think u might find that a lot of the tense little subconscious urges and hangups and anxieties you have about your work will start to unravel. any statement abt your art that starts with "i feel like i need to...." or "i feel like i should...." is probably somehow tangled up with the idea of other peoples' eyes on your work, and as long as you're letting a vibe like that breathe down your neck, you really can't draw freely.

do you keep going on the sketch bc you just don't like the sketch and you think if you keep picking at it it will eventually get better? well — okay, sometimes you're right! sometimes picking at something endlessly is how u eventually get something really nice and fleshed out and cool looking. but also we are mortal creatures with a limited amount of time on this earth and i am assuming from the fact that u asked for advice that u want to create More drawings. so the only real advice for this category of sketch hangup is: dude, fuck it. make a bunch of bad sketches. do it on purpose, if that helps loosen you up! designate "fucked up stupid sketch day" and make a bunch of the most dogshit drawings you can muster. remember when earlier i said part of why this is easy for me is bc i do so MUCH of it? sometimes it's about volume. if every time u start on a sketch, it ends up being the only thing u pick at for the next few days, of COURSE it's going to start feeling super precious and high stakes to you. you're not being irrational for getting attached to stuff u spend time fussing over. but if u want to be LESS fussy and LESS attached, probably the fastest way is to just start making yourself churn a bunch of shit out, because if you've made TWELVE little sketches today who actually cares if four of them are dogshit. make MORE of them, and it becomes way less serious. u can use time limits to push yourself along, if that helps — an exercise i really like is putting my music on shuffle and then doing a bunch of little drawings where i work on each one for ONLY the duration of one song each. when the song ends, i stop working on the sketch i'm on and move on to a new one. and sometimes they're totally dogshit, because the best songs in the world are all sub 2mins! or draw yourself a bunch of very small rectangles on a sheet of paper and fit a bunch of little drawings into those. anything to help Shove u past the idea that a drawing has to, like, LOOK LIKE anything or be cute or appealing or look good in any capacity will help break up the apprehension u get about wanting sketches to come out a certain way.

i have talked ur ear off as always but i hope that some of this is helpful!! or if i totally missed the mark and none of this connects w u re: why u find this stuff challenging, pls feel free to send me another ask clarifying what u get stuck on and i'll see if i can think of any potential fixes :)

[chilapis]

hi i’m in love with genshin lapis can u tell me her lore can u tell me everything can i know i wanna know im so curious im sitting here w my notes eagerly awaiting ur response ✍️ i love u btw

hi, hello ! i love you too . also i read your tags & i think they absolutely can be friends. two of them (they’re going to beat people to death together)

do be warned that there is heavy projection because yeah ajax is like. with me-with me (real) (mentally ill) but also if i’m making a s/i to ship with him as well … tragically she will be suffering from the same deeply rooted character flaws as myself.

genshin lapis is . quite literally just a retired, immortal warlord who just wants a simple, domestic now.

beautiful woman who used to consider international peace a mere (unhelpful) suggestion is now trying to help people finalise their divorces and drafting contracts for business. she isn’t particularly affiliated with any region mostly because she isn’t, open about who she really is? so she’ll spend centuries in a nation, and then move to another every 60-70 years or so til she completes the rotation and then start all over; new name, new identity, new past, but the same face and the same profession. she loves liyue with all her heart but tends to stay there the least because one in every three people there are more than at-least 150 years old and she has gotten that “wait, don’t i fucking know you” look from a little too many people for her liking. she also avoids old people like the plague for this same reason because she doesn’t want to see the gears click in someone’s 90 year old grandma’s head.

except the thing is that she doesn’t need to be open because she makes it so painfully obvious. you know how most non-mortal or long-waiting characters in genshin will just shut up and entertain their mortal company’s false assumptions and beliefs? not her ! her pride is far too big for that. if you’re wrong she’ll tell you that you’re wrong and she knows because she was there (the realisation of what she said will hit her in exactly 10 minutes once her tangent is over. everyone who knows her falls into either one of two categories: either they think she is insane, or they think she is immortal. Both are correct.

i feel like despite being in the legal field she does not particularly. care about justice or law; in the sense that she doesn’t quite, believe in it existing anymore? she helps people out, don’t get me wrong; she’ll even do it pro-bono, free of charge, but her acts of kindness feel more like tossing a slab of meat to a caged animal than actually doing something nice, if that makes sense. there’s this, looming feeling of detachment from everyone and everything that she cannot shake off & she knows it’s because immortality has deeply affected her ability to relate to others or form connections but she’s helpless in the sense that she she doesn’t even know what a life beyond this would be like, and she’s not sure if she wants to. societies are moral-run now; there’s more rules, there are new concepts.

& then she meets ajax & ends up forming not only just an emotional attachment but one that is so intense and overwhelming that she doesn’t . know what the hell to do about it. she is freaking out because this is probably the first time she’s ever felt this way & he’s there & he’s talking to her & she doesn’t know what it is but she’s staring at him with such wide eyes. also gets super protective of him, even after finding out that he is literally the 11th harbinger. the relationship is what would get her back to her old spirits of um . killing and battling and conquering. except in the past she did it for the sake of it. she did it for the act itself. but now it’s for him — now she does it because she knows he wants power and honestly, she does too! she may have repressed it for a bit but she also wants to be on top of the food chain! just like how she used to before! & now they can do it together!

except there’s . one teeny tiny issue. she isn’t fond of the fatui; she didn’t mind before and even took on a few cases for some of them but after knowing ajax & loving ajax she will start kicking and screaming and unsheathing her sword the moment the tsaritsa is mentioned. she actually doesn’t even mind the harbingers all too much (except pulcinella) (she has beaten him up and will do so again DO NOT let this woman near a retirement house she is not afraid to fight senile white men) but the tsaritsa just . makes her blood boil for some reason. I think a part of her (her ego) might even lead her to wanting to play god herself but um. we’ll see about that

she LOVES a good spar though. chilapis love language (we fall deeper in love every time one of us backs the other into a corner). I feel like the first time she saw foul legacy, childe was expecting her to be afraid or nervous, and he thought she was because she kept looking away but no she was just un. Deeply flustered and appreciative of his form. after she finds out what a toll it takes on him though she refuses to ever let him use it when they're playfighting. ALSO SHE LOVES HIS FAMILY? she never had one herself so domestic comfort is such a new concept for her and it makes her so giddy. i feel like after meeting ajax she just tags along with him on his missions. her job? her affiliations? her home? who cares, she finally found what’s truly hers. she won't ever bring it up herself but if he told her to permanently move to shneznaya i think she would. in a heartbest. i feel like she’d be the first to bring up marriage though. childe may want to simply date at first, see how things pan out, but she’d be like dating …..? What is this “dating” you speak of ….. She is actually fully aware of modern concepts 60% of the time but she likes to play dumb. especially when he’s around.

[raedas]

hey i was just wondering how you figured out you were aro?? no pressure if you’re uncomfortable sharing of course ! but i’m kind of questioning and i thought maybe hearing other people’s experiences might help. and also i was in a relationship for almost a year so that’s probably somewhat significant and additionally complicating ahaha <333

hey anon!! first and foremost good luck with figuring everything out <33 i know at least for me, questioning can be a long and hard and typically ongoing process, but we'll make it through :] i'm gonna stick the rest of my answer beneath the read more bc im getting the sense im gonna go on for a bit FGDHLKSFAJ

one of the biggest things for me that i think is necessary to preface everything is that i've never really had an "oh" moment like some people talk about. there's never been a moment where i saw a label or a flag and was 100% sure i fit into that box, its more like... years worth of questioning and then the internal meter in my head slowly ticking over. like, when i was figuring out i was queer, i maybe started questioning in like... fifth grade you could say? but it started as more of a "oh im definitely not but like What if" and then gradually began to tick more and more towards "oh i think i might not be cishet" to eventually when i hit the... idk, 80% or 90% certainty mark it was more of a "fuck it, im queer" feeling. there's always going to be that bit of doubt for me, i think, and coming to terms with being aro was very similar for me in that regards

another thing is i was ALSO in a relationship for almost a year, and that's during the time when i was coming to terms with being aro/arospec, which im sure you can imagine was an Experience. i do think being in a relationship was the best thing for me trying to figure out i was aro though, bc i definitely got that sense of Wrongness of trying to think of myself as existing in a romantic relationship. like, when i thought of myself as having a romantic partner, it always felt a bit like i was playing at a part and acting like i had romantic feelings more than i actually did. of course that came with.. a lot of me trying to ignore my own feelings and feeling guilty about it up until i broke up with my now ex (this is like the funniest inside joke ever to us now dw) so that's where i was coming from w/ my experiences

i also began to realize that like, whenever i try to imagine myself in a romantic relationship, its always in some ambiguous future like 10 or so years down the line, which completely distances myself from the idea. i have no idea what a romantic relationship with someone would look like for me, it was just this idea of "yeah, someday in an ambiguous future ill have a romantic relationship with someone and we'll cook together and hug each other and have fun" until i realized that i don't actually want a romantic relationship, and also that... none of those things that i actually envisioned are exclusive to a romantic relationship. in my life ive had a grand total of 2 crushes, both of which were/are queerplatonic but also like... if i imagine having an Actual relationship its just stressful to me and not even really appealing, despite the fact that i have a crush on them.

one of the most important things im coming to terms is that its okay if im wrong, its okay if however many years down the line i find out that im actually entirely allo and fall in love with someone. like i said i dont know if ill ever be 100% confident in my own labels especially with the whole issue of "how do you prove a negative". for now, though, calling myself aro is something that makes me happy and feels, most of the time, accurate. another really important thing i think is that aromanticism is entirely a spectrum. you could be aromantic or arospec in a billion different ways*, or you could be none of them, and thats okay too <333 good luck with everything anon i hope hearing about my experiences helped a bit :]

[deathberi]

I wasn't super baby, I was only 5 when it came out and my brother bought it. But I think I played it by myself the first time when I was like 9 or 10. I don't remember how I felt playing it, as I said, my English wasn't the best, but I got drawn into the world and story either way, without knowing details.

And so happy when other OG fans of Clerith exist, I get Remake just made it super easy to fall in love with them, but tiny pixel!Clerith ;;

And I do feel kinda bad for being anime only fan, haha. I just didn't read lots of manga when I was younger, especially not longer ones, so just never started. But I'm making that right now, bought the first out of the three boxes with 20 volumes in it, so I can start anytime and buy the other 2 when I'm done and have the money. : D

(And I'm just now finishing Rebirth for the third time or the last two chapters, I finished all the sidequests earlier (even the last one that was sent from hell, haha. And I just finished watching Aerith's trial in the Temple again and can't stop crying, haha)

//☁️🌏🍓💀

90s babies are not old dont call yourself that jshdjdjs 😂w even as a kid im pretty obsessive with understanding everything related to my favs and i dont really attach to a lot then so really they were one of my very first loves~ i think being long time fans really just make it all the more kind of...exciting? idk the most apt term i suck at english calming at the same time? for us when knowing that there are more of us like that out there <3 and that are still here after all these years

well at least you're beating me in the physical copy department? lol i literally only have just the matching ichiruki covers 😂 kubo's volume cover gaming is really good though so i definitely considered collecting everything before but nahhh it flew out of my priority list since i buy lots of other collectibles anyway. really cool you got the first set now though thats already a lottt~~ must be nice looking at them :3

(nice? or not nice? ToT im still not immuned to the last chapter... i've played it full twice, rewatched the cutscenes endlessly its part of editing >w<... aerith's trial is something i cant get through without making a mess of my face like hnggg that was too...too much my baby girl!!!!!! i still have a few sidequests to go and tbh im not that all in to do the remaining ones yet (lol some T&Y quests) but my latest rebirth achievement would be uhhh i finished the world intel! i havent decided on my next goal for rebirth im not really in a hurry to get the plat, maybe should start on a hard mode playthrough bc i didnt set that at first so i'd get done through the story very quickly >w<)

[pankomako]

felt like actually making a ref of my splatsona this afternoon. so i did that

also as much as he's a representation of me he's kinda his own character too lol (like im not so sure im bi at all but i've decided mack is to a degree. but the way he plays matches is exactly what i do)

some extra fun facts i couldnt fit in the ref:

total sailor mouth. says fuck almost every other sentence

can get SUPER pissed during matches. sounds like a dad yelling at a football match on tv, worse combined with his sailor mouth. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST STANDING AROUND" "CLAIM THE FUCKING ZONE" "HOLY SHIT LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE I WAS OUT OF INK" "THATS RIGHT BITCH THATS WHAT YOU FUCKING GET FOR CROSSING ME"

loves his body hair. everyone else thinks it's freaky as fuck. his friends have gotten over it though

often says he's part shark, sometimes to impress people. nobody believes him. unclear whether or not he believes it. he's not

has ADHD. probably should've put that in the ref. i just thought of it as im typing this out. explains a LOT of his behavior though

severely attracted to guys; experiences a very shallow attraction to girls. will flirt and offer to make out with either one but is more likely to date a guy (basically how i feel?? idk it's confusing im still thinking)

hangs out with shiver sometimes after meeting her in story mode. sharks bro (occasionally hangs out w the other characters too but not nearly as much)

is friends with my friend failboat's oc liv. they sometimes do salmon run together + he babysits her smallfry l'il chatty. like "hey im doing anarchy w/ jay can you watch lil chatty for me on the sidelines" "ya sure no problem lol (VERY reluctant)". she finds him kinda weird n annoying but they're still like besties

stingers HATE HIM! is the first target of stingers like 90% of the time. absolutely despises them for this reason. will angrily rush over to annihilate a stinger that targets him as soon as he is able. very likely to get splatted in the process. (NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING THIS IS MY EXPERIENCE WITH SALMON RUN AUUUUUUGH)

has a personal grudge against any dapple dualies players he encounters. for literally no reason. he just has an urge to prove that he's better than them as a dark tetra dualies player (also very much real)

rarely has a successful use of reefslider. usually gets splatted immediately after either activation or when it explodes. wishes it had invincibility like kraken. refuses to main anything other than dark tetras because he's stubborn as fuck (just take a guess whether this is real (spoiler: it is))

literally so silly and goofy about everything. tends to lean into annoying. im tellin ya it's the adhd

yknow i think that's enough for now. thanks for reading all this i guess LOL (assuming you actually did)

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

HELLO!!! gosh im so bad at using tumblr aside from reblogging so this has been a long time coming but i came to say U R A POET!! i found your acc when u had like 2 ? fics out and i remember reading “if i fell through the floor i would keep falling” when it had 90 notes and feeling like someone had put their hand in my chest and ripped my heart out…. i was so confused how it didnt have 100000000 notes?!?! i am still confused now. it’s some of the most beautiful writing ive read (& i don’t even really read for geto so it was such a random find but i am so grateful). my favorite line was “he figures he can give you this one thing, at least.” there are so many heartbreaking ones in that piece but this one was especially so. it’s crazy to me how well you painted the scenes, it really felt like i could visually See every moment.

anyways, i rediscovered your account a few days ago thanks to “i can’t close my eyes alone” and i am BUZZING with excitement at how large your masterlist is (seeing many hurt/comfort fics and u absolutely KILL at that genre omg) i cant emphasize enough how excited i am to tear through it!!!! no way i get any sleep tonight. also sleeping in a bathtub is so horribly senseless that i relate deeply. i would also make a decision like that in anger and commit to it. my favorite line from that work is “sincerity and honesty are things that have been used against him all his life” 💔💔

please expect another longwinded message once i get through all your new works!! thank you for sharing your art

- duzhee

HI HELLO!!!!!!! god i KNEW your user sounded familiar……. i was like ”duzhee hmmm where have i heard that before … 🤨🤨” i think u were the first person who rbed that fic w tags actually, it made me so happy 🥺🥺 i still have a screenshot of it saved in my lil motivational folder <333

im so happy u found ur way back here, u have no idea!!!!! and gosh literally everything u said is so so sweet and thoughtful im tearing up T_T that geto fic still has a v special place in my heart, so i cant tell u how glad i am that u enjoyed it!! especially since u dont read geto often like thats such a huge accomplishment to me….. aaa u even mentioned ur fave line!! its my favorite thing to hear ever 🥺🥺

and the gojo fic!!! im so happy u liked that too!!! im super duper weak for hurt/comfort so its so flattering to me that u think i write it well?!??? u r so so sweet. tysm again for mentioning ur fave line it gives me like … an outrageous amount of happiness when ppl do 😭😭😭 

AND HONESTLY DUZHEE… the only reason i made reader sleep in a bathtub is bc i wanna do it myself so bad LMAO i love sleeping in unconventional places like i love nothing else <333 

ah and and and !!! honestly having someone call my writing ”poetic” is just ……. The most flattering thing ever???? u r genuinely such an angel, tysm for taking the time to write this out 🥺🥺 it made my morning!!!! i am EAGERLY looking forward to another longwinded message from u <3333

[flockofdoves]

i think its important to retain compassion and make sure when i actually talk to her i am open to listening to whatever she has to say. obviously thats important even just on purely a level of wanting communication to go well and for her to be receptive to solutions. but also of course there needs to be space kept for me and my gf to vent our frustration on our own time bc just bc pretty much almost everyone can always have some sort of personal justification for why they did something within their constricted circumstances obviously that doesn't mean people hurt by that dont still have reasons to be upset or resent the situation. and i'm trying to be good and healthy in how i balance these two things. 

i'm not always the best at conversations i can be a bit conflict avoidant and i have given up on talking about any of this for a while after my last half assed attempts at communication about this stuff failed (even if i think to be fair to myself some of it very clearly goes beyond what i'd imagine the scope of any misalignment of expectations from past experiences in different living situations could cause. like sure ok maybe you've used other peoples dishes in the past but i cant imagine it takes communication (which i did w this actually!) to know that if you've then let those dishes mold for a month throwing out that persons dishes after they ask you to wash them after they see them outside is not an acceptable next step) but i’m really trying to expend the effort to be better at communicating

but every time i’ve tried she avoids it somehow. and i keep trying harder in more direct but still not aggressive ways and i’m sure theres still more i could do but its just so so frustrating having it continue on this way. 

i feel like theres no space for me to even healthily balance my frustration with not letting that boil into any actual opportunity to talk because its just like a constant situation of having to hope that she’ll actually not avoid things this time and i need to emotionally prep myself for conversation so that i won’t unproductively just come across as angry (or just like. so shaky i cant talk lol) and because i’m just like fucking constantly having to put myself in that state theres not even a healthy space to even be properly mad during me and my gfs time when shes not around

i’m just so so so sick of this i’m so constantly stressed and sad about all of this this is the worst roommate situation i’ve ever been in even when just like. in fun conversations before she was avoiding us and that i still overhear w her friends i really enjoy my roommate. like thats really saying something when i’ve had a homophobic passive aggressive roommate before and a roommate that always turned the thermostat up to 90 degrees!!! but this is still (even after her wayyyy lowballing the utility bills “at their worst” looking back lmao) like the cheapest place i’ve seen around here with this fucking housing crisis happening around my college and at this point itd literally be too late to find anything good for when this lease ends i don’t know what to fucking do i was panicking about housing this time last year and it felt like it might fall through at like any moment once we did secure this apartment last august and then like so soon after that everything started to gradually get more and more stressful as more things happened with our roommate so its been like a fucking year of housing stress about stuff but we didn’t even start early bc it cost so much to furnish this place so our room wasnt just so deeply stressful to live in with the amount of unpacked boxes for months that we only just finally had all the furniture and storage to actually put away that we kept being like well i’m sure if we just communicate better it can improve because we really want to keep living here and dont want to go through All That with apartment applications and moving again any time soon but also jesus christ what if it just doesnt fucking change im in fucking limbo

[radgalniya]

eternal sunshine review

you already knowwww. another album review.

random thoughts:

so the thing is i didn’t have high hopes for this, bc i hated sweetener and people were saying this was like a part 2. and shitting on positions, my favorite ari album, to compare this one. so i’m like i’m gonna hate this. but i am actually so excited bc i like it. i finally have new music to be obsessed w rather than relistening to the same songs over and over.

also just bc i like the album, don’t mean i’m like a homewrecker stan. she gotta chill.

she should’ve kept the red themed cover like i get the message of the new one but it just doesn’t hit the same.

anyways bc i’m a psycopath, i listened out of order bc that’s the only way i can properly listen idk y.

also i love that there’s no musical features

anyways to the review:

intro(end of the world):

it’s a cute lil intro. my everything vibes. 6/10. probably won’t relisten to this one much. but i love how she’s being so honest on this album bc i’m a nosey ass bitch. love when ppl air out their business. more more!

bye:

modern disco viiibes. upbeat. very dancey. but also lyrically it’s very idk not melancholy but like kind of sadish i like that. 7/10. the song is really not my personal taste but it’s really good still.

don’t wanna break up again:

naur he turned up the tv when he heard her crying throw that man in the trash!!! i like this one. i like the melody and lyrics and the chorus is my favorite part of the song. i wish the production was a little more melodic. it only does it for me during the chorus tbh. but i like this song. 8/10 “but i just can’t refuse” in the chorus sounds like the “im finding ways to stay concentrated on what i gotta do” in die for you by the weeknd.

saturn returns interlude:

idk man some woman talking what do you want me to say. isn’t it weird that this is the only track with capital letters tho?

eternal sunshine:

i really hate trap beats tbh. but ik it’s like ari’s signature now. but ick. it’s a bop tho for sure. but not really my taste. i only really like it bc the lyrics. i just love ppl telling their business y’all i’m not kidding. 7/10

supernatural:

AHHHHHH BITCHCHHHH YESSSS THIS IS WTF i’m TALKIN ABOUT THIS IS POP BITCH YESSS 100000/10 i love the modern 80s pop vibe and the chorus is so perfect w/ the beat. it just rides man i love this song. i’d love this album JUST for this song.

true story:

so 90s love it. very aaliyah beat. i love a good 90s r&b moment so ofc this is an automatic like even if the chorus isn’t that catchy. idk ig i just feel like pop should have catchy melodies and/or an infectious beat. y’know? also she ate w/ the belting at the end. 8/10

the boy is mine:

YASSSSSSS. again we know i love a 90s vibe. the slowdown right before the chorus is insaane. and the choral style harmonies on the “is” of the boy is mine scratches something in my brain as well as the “gotta be a reason why” robotic voice thing. this is so catchy. this is totally a fantasize vibe. so good. 10/10

yes and?:

i dont have it in me to keep defending this song from u vultures. AND i wish she put the mariah carey version on the album too 8/10 and no i will not be explaining myself further y’all are gonna make me cry.

we can’t be friends (wait for your love):

feel i’m getting an 80s vibe again. i like it. i’m loving the upbeat music, sadish vibe lyrics thing going on in this album. i like the vibe of this song a lot. i do wish something in here was more catchy. but i like it. it’s so soft and wistful almost. that’s probably why i’ll relisten. conjure up some interesting maladaptive daydreams w/ this one. 7/10 edit: i watched the video now i like it more. 8/10 lol

i wish i hated you:

it’s very vulnerable. again i’m nosey so i like that. but the song is eh for me. i don’t think this is a song i’d listen to for the music but more for the vibe. 6/10

imperfect for you:

i looooove it. a little weird melodically but i love it. just scratches something in my brain it’s so good. so catchy. 10/10

ordinary things:

it’s good. not one of my favorites but the more i listen, the more i like it. i love the way she pronounces ordinary in here lol. 7/10

okay that’s all really

p.s. i feel like why try from my everything would fit in here idk. this album feels like a perfect combination of all of her others, it’s so weird how that works out. i love it tho. pleasantly surprised!!