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trainingdummyrabbit · 4 months

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Woe. Extended Cocoa Monologue Be Upon Ye.

So. Her name is Cocoa. Theoretically. She's been around for a pretty long time, if not the longest when going by current employee terms. She's the one who works with Nothing There because shes the only one who. Can. A bit odd, she's almost entirely mute aside from a handful of phrases and words, and occasionally mimicking things said to her recently. She's considered to be a bit airheaded, not really paying attention to her surroundings and more often than not just kind of... cycling around the facility when not on the job.

She does a lot of things that would Seem normal on first glance, but are just.. kinda strange, when you actually pay attention to her. Like background actors pretending to be passerby, but when they get a lil silly with it and start like. Putting whipped cream on a carrot and eating it raw. Y'know. Girl Things. Most folks don't give her much mind aside from common pleasantries-- mostly because she just doesn't answer anything else. She just kinda stares blankly, no thoughts head empty, as if she doesn't understand. She's just silly that way though, so nobody minds.

When shes given a task, though, she's just. Entirely Different. Shes very methodical, cutting straight to the point-- oftentimes literally. It's where her experience with the whole Being A Lobcorp Employee really makes itself obvious. She can take a Lot of shit and just... Wont Die. She just gets back up! Easypeasy. It's almost mechanical-- and she barely seems affected at all by any of the Horrors(tm) that come with the whole... y'know. When it comes down to it, shes a little scary.

Nobody really Knows this necessarily, but before she was an agent, she was actually a clerk ! :] She just kind of... did her job. Was polite and enthusiastic, all that good stuff, model employee or whatever. but then, evidently, there was a pretty bad abno breach at some point, and she completely managed to hold her own, going so far as to be Almost Helpful! Astounding ! So they moved her around to being a fully functional agent! Something that has absolutely no consequences whatsoever !

. So, the horrors, right? Stepping out of exposition speak, Cocoa is an exploration on the split between human, monster, and object-- and what it means to define yourself within those terms. (It's honestly a common theme between the group as a whole, but they all tackle it differently.) Cocoa-- previously known as Holly-- was pretty much always a Highly Volatile person. Not that she ever showed it. A lot of her hinges on her desperate desire to be seen as Worthwhile, to be worthy of being kept around. Truthfully? She was always terrified of death.

She knew how the world worked. Either you made yourself useful and did what you were supposed to, or you were thrown out to the cruel whims of what the world does to people like her. She was, functionally, a Nobody. And she knew this. So she did her best to fit into the vision of somebody Useful. Polite, easy to herd around, noncombative-- all that stuff. It was grating, sure, but anything to keep her out of the bad books of people who could so easily crumble her already fragile life without a second thought. It was just what she needed to do.

So um. Unfortunately, pinning your entire identity on the whims of a conglomerated image of "other people" was never really sustainable. Not even remotely. Especially not for somewhere like the city. These sorts of things contradicted themselves, looped around, formed uncrossable chasms of expectation that she could never live up to even if she tried. And god, did she try. Constantly putting up a front was exhausting, but rewriting yourself completely every time you moved somewhere new? god can you even imagine.

She was just about Always tiptoeing a thin line between roles, teetering delicately between the gazes of those above her. Any action or expression or emotion contradicting from that image had to be immediately smothered, every step out of line earned a warning shot from herself that nobody else could really see. So like, no pressure!

So, going into Lobcorp, she was a model employee, secretly harboring the unstable energy of a dying star. Easypeasy. The abno escape was, as the kids say, "the last fucking straw in her miserable life," and she kind of just. blacked out, woke up, and it was over. She helped about as much as a clerk Could, but the fact that she was alive was an anomaly. Again, she is very very good at just... Staying Alive, when she shouldn't. So that was a pretty good vouch for her skill, even if she didnt present that at first. She, obviously, was pretty nervous about the whole thing, but if this is what she was being told to do, then so be it! Easypeasy! No big deal ! I'm sure Lobotomy Corporation is just an office comedy! She is very normal.

So, again, the thing about Holly is just that she. Doesn't Die. But the people around her sure do!! What happens around here is a bit of a blur, both to me and to her, but the long and short of it is pretty much this. Through the course of her acting as a full-title Agent, it did, shockingly in fact, Make A Lot Of Her Issues Worse ! Now not only did her Own life rest in her hands, but also a bunch of other people's! Crazy how that works.

She seems perfectly fine, mostly just because her immediate instinct in stress is to just. shut off. Panic, fear, anger-- none of that has any place in the role of a Useful Employee. She can't have doubts, cant have regrets, she just has to Move. So she just lets her body do what needs to be done, and tunes back in when everything is over again. It's not Easy getting to know people in a situation like that, but somehow she Did actually manage to make a friend! Though, I suppose, not that difficult, because "being friendly" is a very good Employee Trait to have, so obviously she has it. But, well, it Was nice! Was. Lobotomy Corporation Is A Tragedy ! Whoops.

So obviously, having a small bit of solace taken away from you is, to put it lightly, Not A Great Experience. But well, it wasn't exactly just that necessarily. To her, that person was everything that any model person Should be. Effortlessly. Intrinsically. They simply Were, and through the plain act of Being A Person, Unapologetically, was... well, it was refreshing! Silently, it was everything Holly Wished that she could be, but just couldn't gain the courage to reach. It wasn't even any huge event that killed them, it was just... some stupid mistake. The core of it simply came down to... well, if they couldn't do it, how could she? Her, hoping to be better than someone like that? Was that even possible? And this is about where things start . going sideways.

So. Her whole deal with Nothing There. It wasn't anything big. Not really, in the grand scheme of things. In all honesty, it was more of a Resignation. At this point, she'd already been kind of spacey and distant-- even for her own standards-- so of course, nobody would really notice much of anything. (Again, another good trait of a Useful Employee.) Working with NT for the first time was. odd. Nobody really knew what to make of it at the time, but Holly hadn't died Yet, so she was as good a choice as any. And seeing the damn thing, well. yeah, it was disgusting, but it wasn't what affected her the most. Rather, it was when it tried to start Speaking.

Calling it Horror isn't exactly correct, but it wasn't exactly... incorrect, either. All she could really do was watch it try to form words over and over, messy and stilted, inherently flawed. A crude imitation of something she should understand. Disgusting, sure, but not for the right reasons. Because all she could really see was a microcosm of herself. A horrible little excuse for a creature trying to pretend to be human, pulling itself together by the seams and stumbling over and over, painfully close yet uncomfortably alien to those it was trying to imitate. And she could only watch, as emotions she'd done her best to suppress slowly clawed their way back up.

It was then she had a choice. To confront what exactly it was that she'd been desperately locking away, that raging sensation of emotion, of desire, of anything-- or to resign herself into disappearing completely, letting herself drop all of the baggage of that flawed facade of "humanity" and allowing it to be replaced with... for lack of a better term, a Variable. an Anything Else. But... she was never very good at confronting herself, was she? So she sat down, and began correcting the entity's speech, forming both It and Her back into the shape that they "should" be. And at the same time, letting go of a "self" that could no longer exist anymore.

The thing about her, simply, is that-- again-- she doesn't die. Not the way that people do, not the way that people Should. But then again, "Holly" hasn't existed for a long time, by the start of everything. Anyone who Knew who she was never really had the chance to, with the way she was-- not that any of them were alive to be able to tell. She never answers anyone asking what her name is. or what her job is, or... well, much of anything. So people just call her Cocoa, because that's the only thing she seems to like :) And well, people say it confidently enough that others just Believe them, and Cocoa doesn't care enough to correct them, so like. whatever. Cocoa is here to do her job. Nothing more, nothing less. And nobody is going to stop her, because she's damn good at it. Nobody knows there was even a problem to begin with. Silently, wordlessly, the "person" she used to be simply... disappeared. And nobody was there to hear it. Which makes things... difficult.

Because she doesn't remember any of that. None of her peers do, either. She feels "fine," simply enacting whatever it is she needs to do. And because of that, people simply just Believe Her. It was as if "she" had never really existed at all. And at the end of it all... she was entirely indifferent. There was work to do, you know? No use worrying over some kid who couldn't handle the pressure. Happens all the time, right? And so the world moves on, without a second thought.

Not a second thought at all.

#pikocs #projmoon #long post #LONG fucking post i mean it #reading this back is so funny. 'stepping out of exposition speak--' No The Fuck You Aren't #anyway this is my little beast she can be trusted adn she is so so normal. perceive her at yuor soonest convenience <33 #i also. want to put down that ive been writing this group Before i read wonderlab which makes several things. VERY funny.#like. this isnt even the funniest bit. but um; thats an aside;#anyway this is like; an entire offshoot branch of Lcorp for context; and a lot of logistics im working out still #and a lot of logistics im just 'ehhh whatever' about so ^w^#but theyre just a horrible little jumble of 'oh god oh fuck oh shit' and th worlds most Unfortunate timing #and the worlds most Characters of ever who simultaneously make each other better and Significantly Worse <333 #ill uh. ill get to everyone eventually. probably. wapow ✌

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the-force-awakens · 3 months

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y'know what. because tumblr keeps insisting on recommending me negative posts about it, reblog with your favorite scene/things from the star wars sequel trilogy.

absolutely no negativity or passive aggressive comments, you will get blocked.

#nym speaks #sequel trilogy #i have. entirely too many scenes that are my favorite. bUT. dreamers hands hand touch scene you will always be famous to me #also the resistance showing up for the first time in tfa <33 i always get so excited #favorite thing generally is poe dameron's existence tho. love u baby

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jazzzzzzhands · 10 months

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Isn't Painting Fun??

#i actually started this before the update but i got very very caught up in the secrets! i found everything so far i think. im still hunting!#this is my irl fingerpainting! now my art can be with wally <33 #im not experienced in making creepy or scary things! but im trying! im getting attatched to the airbrush tho!!#wally darling #welcome home #whps #fanart #wh spoilers #only cause the spiral i think #i feel so so something! like i ate an entire buffet in one bite!!#holy shit there was so muchhhh!!#i could listen to the audios all day #everyone else is having wally dreams and im SO JEALOUS!!#please please i want to help himmmm #but i had to finish this a bit quickly bc the more i look at my art the more i pick it apart so let me throw this into the void!#oh! i forgot tags!#jazzart #tw scopophobia #creepy warning #hnnnn everything on the site is just soo SOOO!!!#UWAAAAAAAA!!!#experimental art

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keeps-ache · 4 days

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well, you can see it!

#art #my art #artists on tumblr #digital art #pink space #practicing... [melts away]#no i did not reference the shading in the actual ref. 'why not' dude i actually do not know lmaoo - it's pretty lazy but that's #practice babyyyy :33 #//it's also 4 a.m. rn isn't that neat hghfsh #i fell asleep at like 7 or 8 and then got woken up around 10 or 11 so i guess i just don't sleep anymore lolll #ay but i finished this so that's :D !#i just need a full front ref for this thing and i KNOW i can do this i knowww itttt hbhhfsv #glammed her up because she deserves it. look at her :33 #this Did take me like 2 hours i am not great at details hfhhfhsv #no i'm not going to use half of them (lord i hope not) but it was nice anyway :D #it's nice both turning off my brain but also having to use it to full capacity to be sure i'm not missing like an entire wheel before i #start colouring Lmaooo <3 #this Was fun though and i like how it's turned out! maybe i'll do more vehicle studies at some point. did one for a 67 pontiac the other da #and that was fun :D those old boxy cars are sooo nice to draw hfsh #//anyway. [jiggles away into the fog]

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nebuladreamz · 11 months

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Silly highlight from tonight's night of animating

#nebula wips #finally a fucking wip tag #thumbs up #this fucking thing is gonna take me forever i reanimated an entire thing of a jacket blowing in the wind #literally for fun #and you know what?#im vibing im having such a fucking good time man #me? being self indulgent and going apeshit?#more likely than you think <33 #i've spent maybe.#counts on fingers #a week now???? ish???#started on the 13th for sillies #and here i am

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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 5 months

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That. That post you made about comparing satoru & suguru to a puppy and a wolf, the way they pretend to be the opposite of what they are. You have awoken something inside of me and filled my brain with thoughts. I NEED to expand on it WALK WITY ME WALK WITH ME

Satoru and suguru who are both protective but in vastly different ways- satoru who I think easily uses his reputation as “the strongest” to make sure his partner doesn’t get anywhere even close to being in danger, who the public knows is strong, and that’s pretty much all he needs. Who’s tall, who’s got an intimidating stare, he’s outwardly terrifying when he wants to be. There’s no question to it, when he wants to, he could scare anyone away.

And then there’s suguru. He isn’t gojo by any means, and he’s not got quite the same loud, confident and sort of endearingly arrogant demeanour that satoru does- but what he does have is a sort of mysterious danger about him that is almost if not more scary than gojo and his status. He’s all gentle and calm, a true carer to his partner, and he’s the last person you would expect to have a bite. But he does. And the fact you can’t outwardly tell, the fact that he’s no bark and all bite as soon as someone decides to push their luck- I feel like that’s what makes him so much more intimidating if he needs to be. If you look past the usually laid back facade he puts on for the world, you could absolutely see a sort of feral, burning desire to keep people close to his heart safe. With gojo you KNOW what you’re fucking around with. And to fuck with gojo or someone he truly cares for, you’ve gotta be an idiot. But the fact that you’re pretty much walking into the unknown when you wanna mess with suguru- IM SO NORMAL ABOUT HIM I SWEAR…. (I’m not. I’m deeply in love with him SOMEONE SEDATE ME RIGHT NOW)

ANON MY BELOVED THANK YOU FOR THE FOOD i agree so much. this is literally it.

honestly u phrased this so well that i barely know what to add U GET THEM…. i think both of them are sooooo protective but sugu is without question the more terrifying one. ”no bark and all bite” is the PERFECT description; the bite is so unexpected and terrifying precisely because there’s no bark to hint at it. he hides his fangs so well that you forget he even has them.

gojo can be absolutely terrifying too, but like you said — that’s to be expected. everyone knows satoru has fangs. he never bothers to hide them. he’s always smiling, smiling, smiling — and when that smile drops you know you fucked up.

but suguru? suguru is so good at hiding his anger that you miss it if you aren’t careful. i’ve always thought that his smile is the key to really understanding him, and i think that in this case it’s his smile that reveals his anger. you can push him and push him and then suddenly his smile has no warmth to it left, and if you push after that then the fangs peek out. but his smile is so cold and such a glaring warning that barely anyone crosses that line, so it really is like walking into the unknown.

and anon!! ”a feral, burning desire to keep people close to his heart safe” is such a good way of putting it. the desire itself is so loving but he is just so devoted that it might as well be a wildfire. i think it eats him alive. i think that he’d rather set himself on fire than fail to keep you safe. genuinely.

anyway in conclusion i think suguru is the scarier one by far LMAO imagine pushing his buttons all day and then looking up and hes just :)…….. i would fall to my knees. i would fold immediately.

#glad to see we’re all normal abt this concept <33 #TYSM FOR THIS ANON i went rabid when i saw this in my ask box #nothing beats a good kind man who would rip someone to shreds to keep u safe #sugu’s dichotomy is my favorite thing abt him!! how he can be soft and stern. caring and ruthless. sweet and twisted.#it really is just a matter of what you are to him #i think hes entirely devoted to his partner and their happiness and if someone gets in the way of that he wont hesitate to fight them off #youre so real anon i also need to be sedated this man makes me feel so unhinged 😭😭#ask tag ✩

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iluvmatt · 2 years

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new plans, m. sturniolo

synopsis: coming home for the holidays has its perks; you get to see your childhood best friends again, you get to spend the holidays with the people you’ve always loved, and the list goes on. of course, it also had its cons— you have to face your best friend, matt, the one that you’re madly in love with and have been in love with since you were merely thirteen. little do you know, though, that he’s dealing with the same mixed emotions of you and the holidays; biting his nails as he waits for you to knock on his front door. genre: gn!reader x matt, fluff, social media! au, i’ve loved you all my life! au, holidays! au, best friend to lover! au, loving from a distance! au, opposites attract! au, the list goes on and on! warnings: mild language throughout, mentions of partying, nothing too serious! :-)

chapters: 00. profile introductions 01. home and coca cola 02. feelings, feelings, feelings 03. giggling n’ kicking feet 04. home sweet home 05. playing matchmaker 06. cuddling? 07. saturday dates 08. to love you is to shatter 08 (1/2). i hate (love) you 09. i think i love you 10. boyfriend, girlfriend? end.

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averlym · 1 year

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hi hi hi! not sure if youre still taking requests but.. could i get some parrward? I adore your art style and im so glad youve been alive and active again!! I remember I found your acc back in 2019-2020 and I got curious looking at my old acc and I had SO many of your posts liked- and here we are now! Hope life is treating you well ! :)

hihihi!!! some parrward for you <33 i hope life is treating you well too!

#felt they were soft!!! trying to get back into colouring haha #have some college au? hehe #six the musical #six the musical fanart #katherine howard #catherine parr #parrward #gn!! gotta do a bit of math now #this was such a throwback? such a sweet message to get too #i wonder who you are anon! thank you for checking back in ily have a lovely time #2019-2020 was the start of this entire thing... woaaah you've been around super long haha!! thanks for following my art throughout :DD #idk this is a very heartwarming sentiment. i tried to draw the softest glowy nostalgia vibes for parrward here for you #added a bit of colours too- i am not good with words as thank yous. but i hope the sentiment comes across in the art for your request #soft anon <33

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trainingdummyrabbit · 4 months

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"not to ocpost-" please oc post (as long as you're ok with it) i would love to learn more about holly and chun-run!! (as long as you're ok with it!!)

! oh its absolutely ok, i love being enabled ^w^ kjfngdkjf um um. this is another Entire Thing(tm) that requires Exposition(tm) so um hope youre ready to read More Paragraphs !

the short answer is

the long answer is: i went 'hey i have two* ruina-era ocs, what if i put them next to each other for fun? haha they'd hate each other ^w^' ... 'Oh God They'd HATE Each Other.' so uh, the exposition.

Holly! You've Never Met Her Before. certainly not. ttttechnically. out of narrative, Holly was originally a branch of what Cocoa's character would have been when I was first developing her. in narrative, Holly is what would have happened if they'd never been picked up by LCorp. she's... an entirely different person, basically.

in essence, if you thought the other one was unstable, Oh Boy(tm). Holly is what happens when the city Actually gets the chance to sink its claws in. it's just this time, she was far, Far less quiet about it. girlies who completely fucking failed their stat check Again. there's only so much 'keep your head down and take it' you can really handle before you're just about ready to tear a bitch apart, and well. Well! anyway.

Holly is another angle of the Human/Monster/Object tangle, in where Cocoa's development hinges on the equivalent of trying to balance several spinning plates and Fucking Up Miserably, Holly has started hurling plates directly into the audience with intent. if you will.

humans are always talking some hot shit about how high and mighty they are, the "value" that comes with just being Human, and yet their entire lives are a horrible, animalistic dance of clawing each other to shreds while hiding behind ideas and roles they themselves put into play, like it's some stupid game. that harm is just an intrinsic part of the human nature. she can't fucking stand it.

essentially, she's an odd argument between the Human and Monster corners of the tangle. not only hates the binds that the city places on them of obligation, but also the ties of human emotion-- namely guilt and connection. that endless dance. she wants nothing more than to shed these ideals completely-- unfortunately, she still intrinsically and unconsciously clings onto them, afraid to let go. a human trying to claw its way out of humanity. it doesn't matter what it takes-- she's not letting this city take her first.

...and then there's Chun-Run.

we just don't know where chun-run came from. but she sure Is, and she's Immediately going to make it a Huge Fucking Problem. being aligned with the musicians of bremen, she has.. very normal views about art, and what it means to be Alive. she's the closest thing to a human time bomb i can think of, probably.

she doesn't have much of a character... honestly kind of intentionally? her entire being is solely rooted in the present, the What Is and the What Will Be. she strives to feel what the pianist's performance invoked that day-- through any means necessary. whatever happens to Her, to anything around her-- none of it matters. first and foremost, she is a conduit. it's all secondary to that singular experience.

horrifying. painful, disgusting. striking, poignant, pungent. it makes her sick to think about, but some part of her wishes she was closer to truly Feel it. its repulsive– but she Needs to hear it again. to witness, to experience. what is it– what was it? to grasp onto an ephemeral feeling she physically cannot understand– frustrating, frustrating. but she Needs to. to make the soul sing, cry out in reverence... to call it a Song is almost insulting.

so you have the worlds most unstable walking contradiction with absolutely no outlet and an unidentified fucking thing intent on wringing some undefineable meaning from the soul through physical violence.

so like, moth meet flame.

chun-run is pretty much Instantly infatuated with holly-- but for the Entire Wrong Reasons. it's pretty much "Yeah I Could Make Her Worse." all the way down, but expressed entirely through Murder. yknow, girl things. and holly, of course, fucking hates this are you for real right now??? shut the fuck up about reaching Art through Violence there is something WRONG WITH YOU. chun is entirely convinced that she's what will harmonize closest to that sound she's chasing-- that dissatisfaction, desire, rage... it's so painfully close. and yet she refuses to acknowledge that spark! refuses to engage entirely! is it not the nature of the soul to sing? so sing girl, sing.

girlies who are trying to claw their way back to stability and girlies who want nothing more than to burn to ashes in a beautiful blaze of Being. in conclusion:

#We Have Managed A Relatively Short Post ! Yippy!!! \o/#piktalk #pikocs #projmoon #DISCLAIMER this dynamic is very very new comparatively so theres a lot of things they just Arent Telling Me Yet but i do my best o7 #chun's mess was fucking hard bc all of her notes are entirely just her yelling abt the metaphysical Meaning in drive and [waves hand]#not even remotely comprehensible in this format but we make do. or smthn.#hollys mess is a huge fucking jumble of her lying to herself repeatedly and lashing out at anything that gives her reason to--#and unfortunately she continues to be a fucking Freak Magnet no matter what she does <//3 alas.#who fucking knows what these motherfuckers are doing at this point. unfortunately they are now kind of inherently tied together so #yknow. oops. lol <33 #(id have drawn something more but iam very sleepy right now so mayb later <3 ok 👍)

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