#the fact that reiner is now smiling despite everything hes been through

[leadersguilt]

CAN WE JUST? CAN WE JUST?

[heavenlyakin]

Island Time - Reiner Braun x Fem!Reader

wc: ~3k

cw: established relationship, use of sex toys (vibrator), oral (m. receiving), vaginal sex.

Description: Modern AU where Reiner was a star football player who's now retired and spoiling his wife on a vacation for her birthday.

This was a commission. If you’re interested in commissioning me, DM me!

--

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for flying with us today. We will be making our descent soon. We’re expected to land in about 15 minutes. Please remain in your seats and enjoy the rest of the flight.” The pilot’s voice rings through the airplane.

You squeeze your husband’s hand, and he smiles at you. Reiner has been on planes more times than you can imagine. With his football career he had to fly to different states often, and most the time with all his friends, making it comfortable for him. However, this is your first out of the country flight, so you’ve been nervous.

“Are you okay,” he asks, bringing your hand to his mouth and kissing it lightly.

“Just tired, I couldn’t sleep.” You tell him, a yawn creeping up and exaggerating the point for you.

He checks his phone, looking to see if it’s already adjusted to the new time zone. “We have plenty of time before our reservations tonight if you want to rest. I could use a nap as well,” he admits, and you giggle. He rarely admits when he’s tired, but after a 12-hour flight, you’re both worn down.

As you get off the plane, you see the ocean just off the horizon and you smile. The warmth of the island hits you then, bringing you an unbelievable amount of joy. After all the snow back home on the farm, this is just what you needed for your birthday week.

“God, I could remarry you right at this moment,” you tell him as you walk to the black sedan waiting for you both.

“Save that for our future vow renewal,” he jokes, kissing your temple and guiding you to the car.

The air conditioning gives you chills, your skin already adjusted to the hot air outside. Reiner checks his phone again, probably looking to see if everything back home is running smoothly. You asked a few friends to watch over the house and farm for the week while you’re away celebrating. You take the time to check yours, letting your friends and family know you landed who knew about this trip and checking your socials. Most of them are private now, due to being with Reiner and his fame from his years in the football league, growing your own following substantially and making you uncomfortable. So now, it’s just you and your close friends who have access to it.

As the car starts to move, you put down your phone, wanting to take in the views of the island as you make it to the resort you’re staying at. The scenery nearly makes you choke up. It’s been so long since you’ve been on a vacation with just Reiner, and the fact he planned this all for you makes it all the better.

You look over to him, and he’s staring at you, a smile on his face. You lean in, kissing him softly and whispering a thank you against his lips. He smiles against yours and pulls you closer to him.

“I’d do anything for you, baby,” he kisses your cheeks, one at a time slowly, and then your nose.

--

The next few hours become hazy memories of the sun reflecting off the ocean, soft white sheets, and the smell of fresh fruit from the welcome basket in your suite. You get some sleep, however, so you feel fine once you make it to dinner. Reiner surprised you with a new dress, a beautiful lavender fabric with iridescent shine in it that flatters your curves.

He wanted to tear it off you when you emerged from the bathroom wearing it, immediately grabbing and squeezing you while kissing your neck. You proactively had to tear him off you, reminding him you had reservations; despite the warmth between your thighs, begging you to stay in tonight. Now you’re sat on the beach front looking at the moon reflecting off the ocean.

“I’m surprised it’s so crowded tonight,” you comment, looking around at the other tables.

Reiner shrugs, “I guess everyone here had someone special to celebrate.” He smiles, leaning forward and taking your hand on the table. “Have you decided on what you want to eat yet?”

“Pick for me,” you squeeze his hand and put the menu down. “You’ve been here before, so you know what’s good.” One of his old teammates had a birthday celebration here a few years ago that Reiner went to, probably giving him the idea to bring you.

“Alright,” he squeezes your hand back.

Turning to look at the ocean, you dig your feet further into the sand, loving how warm it still is despite the sun setting just a bit ago. It’s only been a few hours and you know this is going to be a trip you never forget.

The waiter comes and takes your order then disappears again. Reiner talks about the plans he has for you tomorrow, a trip on a boat to a private beach and then lunch served on the boat. It all sounds unreal, and you can’t help but feel your heart swell more and more. Once the food comes, you’re surprised by the sheer amount of food they bring. Reiner ordered enough for a week.

“I just wanted to try everything,” he shrugs, and you laugh not minding at all. It’s vacation after all, who cares if we splurge a little?

It all looks delicious and tastes amazing. Everything here is truly divine, and you can’t believe you’re actually here experiencing it all with the love of your life. After you’ve both stuffed yourselves, you take one last look at the ocean.

“I guess we better head back,” Reiner says exactly what you’re thinking. “We have dessert back in the room.”

“Honey, there’s no way I can-“

Reiner wiggles his brows at you, and you stop mid-sentence, your cheeks heating from the thought of being his dessert.

“Oh,” you say quietly, still flustered.

He takes your hand, leading you through the restaurant and out to the car already waiting on you both. The resort is a short drive away, luckily. You’ve worked yourself up with the thoughts of Reiner’s tongue between your thighs. Once you see the resort in view, you unbuckle your seatbelt, and you hear him chuckle beside you.

“Eager?” He asks and you turn to him and grin.

“Perhaps,” you smile sweetly. “I’m so tired, I just need to hit the bed,” you lie.

“Have a good night, you two,” the driver who you’ve paid no mind to this trip wishes you both goodbye.

“Thank you!” You chime, giving him a polite smile before sliding out of the car.

Reiner’s warm hand on your lower back guides you through the resort, taking you towards your rooms. It’s on the first floor, giving you a beautiful view of the ocean and beach. As soon as you’re in the room you’re kicking off your heels and running to cover that beautiful view with the curtains on either side of the windows and sliding door.

As you turn towards the bed, you see Reiner’s already unbuttoned his shirt and is starting to take his belt off. You walk towards him and take his hands in yours.

“Let me,” you tell him, kissing his chest a few times softly and unbuckling his belt.

He lets out a breath of air as you start to move down, dropping to your knees and kissing his stomach, no longer as toned as it once was but softened and flat from years of training gone to lighter work on the farm. The hair from his happy trail tickles your nose as you trail a few kisses down it until you reach the top of his black dress slacks, pulling them down along with his boxers.

He's half hard already, precum leaking from the tip of his cock. You take it in your hand and look up at him, sticking your tongue out and placing the head of his cock on your tongue. He moans as your lips close around it, his head tilting back and facing the ceiling. You swirl your tongue around his cockhead, tasting the precum and moaning around him.

How long has it been since you’ve just pleasured him? You can’t remember. He’s always such a giver and wants to go down on you or just bend you over the table and go at it that you’ve lost track. After everything he’s planned for you, he’s more than deserving of it.

You reach up and cup his balls, massaging them softly the way he likes, and he lets out a long breathy groan. You take more of his cock in your mouth, the head prodding at the back of your throat. He’s so large you struggle to take him all without gagging, but you do your best just for him.

He grabs the back of your head, tangling his fingers in your hair and holding you against him until your eyes start to water.

“That’s my good girl,” he groans watching you take him so well.

You start to gag, and he lets you go, smiling down at you as the drool leaves a trail from your lips to his cock. He cups your face in his hand, pulling you up towards him and kissing you deeply. His tongue tastes sweet from the wine from earlier, lingering still on him. You groan as he pushes you pack against the bed, your legs bumping into the frame.

“If you want to keep this dress, tell me how to take it off. Quickly,” he tells you, his voice husky.

“Zipper on the side,” you say turning and lifting up your arm so he can unzip it for you.

The dress pools around your ankles seconds later, leaving you in the matching purple lingerie you purchased just for this night. Reiner’s fingers drag across your skin, to the bra straps and snapping it on your skin.

“You look so beautiful, baby,” he kisses you again; more urgent and needy. Your back hits the bed before you know it and Reiner is hovering over you, his eyes feasting on you. “I could stare at you all night, ya know?”

You smile, pulling him into you and kissing him. “I love you,” you tell him, and he whispers it back.

His lips are warm as they kiss you from your neck to your navel. His fingers trail up your right thigh, landing on the fabric just above your clit. He circles his fingers lightly around it and you buck your hips trying to get more friction.

“Ah, ah, ah,” Reiner stops you with his hand, pushing your hips down on the bed. “Stay still and let me have my fun.” He smiles, pushing himself up so he’s on his knees on the bed.

He reaches over to the bedside table and opens the drawer. He pulls out a dark blue vibrator you’ve never seen. He brings it to the outside of your lacy thong, pressing it against your clit and turning it on.

“Get yourself off on it,” he smiles, looking at you with wild eyes full of desire.

You lift your hips, the vibration sending shivers through your body as it hits your clit. You moan and close your eyes, feeling the pressure increase as Reiner rubs your cunt with it. Even through the lace, it feels so good and so hot. You’ve not used toys in bed for a while so this is a real treat, you think to yourself.

“Daddy,” you whimper out, already reduced to whines. “Need more to cum,” you tell him.

“Just ask, sweetie,” he tells you, leaning down and kissing your neck.

His lips begin to suck and his teeth bite gently into your skin and you moan louder. He slips the vibrator past your thong and against your wet pussy, the vibrations now against your bare clit. He circles it slowly, teasing you and drawing out a mixture of whines and moans. He loves to tease and you’re not going to fight him on it tonight. You just want to enjoy and savor every moment with him.

Just as you feel the familiar knot in your lower stomach about to come undone, Reiner pulls the vibrator away and laughs.

Laughs.

“Daddy!” You whine drawing out the last syllable.

“Shh,” he kisses your forehead and tosses the vibrator off to the side of the bed. “Don’t you want more?”

You smile and nod, sitting up on your elbows to kiss him deeply. “I always want more of you.”

He chuckles, pushing you back down and pushing your legs up so they’re on his chest with your feet on his shoulders. He pushes into you, his cock stretching and filling you as he does. Your toes curl and his fingers dig into your thighs as he slowly starts to thrust into you.

“Fuck,” he mumbles, kissing your ankle and starting to fuck into you faster.

His trusts are so deep and precise they leave you breathless. You whimpers turn to moans and babbling of different phrases that even you lose track of what you’re saying. He moves your legs so they’re wrapping around his waist as he moves to missionary to have access to your lips. This angle lets him inside you even deeper and closer.

“Oh god,” you whine, as he begins fucking you harder, your feet bouncing off of his back from where you’re wrapped around him. “Daddy, I’m close,” you tell him as that familiar knot reaches its undoing.

“Hold on for me, yeah?” He asks, his hazel eyes leaning darker now with lust.

You nod, not so sure you can do it; but you’ll try. You’d do anything for him, you realize.

Reiner pulls out of you, and you whimper, but he’s just manhandling you onto your stomach and pulling you back so he can fuck you against the bed. He pushes inside of you and that familiar stretch is all it takes to make you cum around him.

“Fuck,” you whimper, “I’m so sorry.”

He chuckles, leaning down and kissing you between your shoulder blades. “Don’t apologize.” He kisses you there again. “You have no idea how good it feels to have you squeezing around my cock when you cum.”

Your face heats up and you whimper, letting your face fall into the cool comforter on the bed. He slowly pumps in and out of you, his hands on your ass, squeeze and spanking you periodically. It’s not long before he’s fucking you so hard the bed is shaking. You grip the sheets, feeling that build up in your stomach once again.

“Fuck, daddy,” you whine into the bed, it muffling the sound even for you.

“You take my cock so well, baby, always so fucking good for me,” he moans, his thrusts becoming more and more uncontrolled.

You feel his cock twitch in you before you hear him mumble he’s about to cum. The warmth from it fills you up, spilling out from around his cock, dripping onto your thighs. You cum with him, squeezing around his cock and your thighs start to shake. As he pulls out, you let your body collapse completely into the mattress. Reiner drops onto the bed beside you, facing up towards the ceiling.

Managing with what strength you have after the mind-numbing fuck; you crawl up next to him on the bed and lay your head on his chest. He wraps his arms around you, lifting his head up to kiss your head a few times. You sigh, loving every moment of his warm skin against your body.

“We need new bedding,” he says casually, and you laugh.

“I’m sure we can manage tonight until housekeeping comes tomorrow. It’s not like we haven’t slept with cum on our bed before.” You roll your eyes and giggle.

“Yeah, but it’s different when it’s your own bed and its that much.” He tells you, letting his arms fall to the bed instead of around you. “But I don’t want to be a bother. Maybe I can clean it up.”

“Why are you so worried about it?” You ask, laughing and sitting up, feeling even more drip out of you and onto the mattress.

“I don’t know,” he laughs, leaning against the headboard of the bed, the pillows “I didn’t nap when you did. Maybe I’m delirious.”

You laugh and agree. “Probably.”

You get off the bed to use the restroom then come back and change into a set of silky pajamas for the night.  Reiner is in the bathroom when you crawl into bed and you wait for him before turning the lights off, mostly because you don’t want to get back up.

He comes into the bedroom, turning the lights off as he walks by the switches and crawls into bed with you. He snuggles up, his head in the crook of your neck and strong arms wrapped around you.

“I’d love to have every night be like this with you,” he tells you, his eyes still closed. “you deserve to be spoiled every single night.”

You smile, playing with his blonde hair, “Every night does feel like this when I’m with you.”

[quills-of-freedom]

Short Story ~

First kiss with Reiner Braun 💋

Female Bodied Reader X Reiner Braun

You're just about halfway through cadets and the tension between you and Reiner has been thick for a while now. Caught in a downpour, his true gentleman self certainly shines through and you just can't seem to resist his authentic charm...

Tag list info here 🐙

Themes: Fluff. Soft.

Warnings: None.

It’s into year two of the cadets. Reiner finally has you all to himself as you browse the market stalls in the quaint town of the Trost District.

But a summer shower quickly dampens his already low spirits, knowing these feelings for you are strictly forbidden…

As the sky began to darken over Trost, Reiner glanced up at the gathering clouds and wondered if he should call it a day. He was reluctant to; it wasn’t very often he got to have you all to himself.

His golden eyes glanced at you as you pondered over the stall you were standing at – the vendor excited to show the wares. His eyes then fell to the pavement under his feet. You looked gorgeous as usual. The white dress hugged your curves and it flowed right down to just above the ankles. He’d noticed the glances you'd gotten from men, of course he did. He also noticed the second looks he had gotten.

Eyes filled with envy.

Those men thought you were a couple and Reiner secretly loved it. What he wouldn’t give for that to be true.

“Reiner?” Your soft voice called out, snapping his attention.

“What do you think of these gloves for Mikasa? They’d definitely help with her training.”

Sweet y/n.

Whenever you had spare money, you would spend it on your friends. Mikasa had been getting blisters from her pairing blade hilts. They’d joked she takes out her frustration towards Eren’s behaviour out on her grip; pretending they were his neck.

“Uh, yeah. I think they’ll come in handy, sure.” He replied half dazed.

“Everything okay?” you ask as you hand the salesperson the cash. “You seem a bit out of it.”

He instantly pulled up his usual facade. “Me? I’m fine. Looks like it’s going to rain though. We should head back.”

“Okay.” You smile slightly, taking the paper bag with the leather gloves inside. You both began to walk down the street back towards the barracks.

He silently kicked himself.

He wanted to take each step as slowly as possible, trying to wring out as much alone time as he could.

When did it get so bad?

If you didn’t have your swarm of friends around her constantly, and Bertolt didn’t act as his shadow, maybe he wouldn’t be so desperate to be alone with you in the first place.

Why did he even want that though?

He wasn’t dense. He knew he had a soft spot for you and despite his best friend’s warnings, he ignored his advice to stay away. It got worse and worse like an neglected cavity in a tooth. The longer he left it, the deeper you bore into him. He wondered if the pain of a toothache would be better than this constant yearning to be near you.

When did he become so pathetic? When did he become so… weak?

Reiner Braun was the strongest male in the 104th with the highest grades. Dedicated. Focused. Yet this H/C’d girl walking beside him with her sparkling e/c eyes could easily bring him to his knees.

He’d gone through the implications in his head over and over. His friends from back home wouldn’t approve. It’s not like they didn’t like you… In fact he was surprised how well you got along with them.

It was because they didn’t join cadets to fool around with beautiful women.

They were there to return home. Home… He wondered what his family would think of her. That was when he shook his head.

No.

There wasn’t any use in going down that trail.

“Oh no…” You wince as fat rain drops began to fall from the swollen clouds.

It was a summer day so you didn’t think to bring a jacket. In fact, none of your friends earlier had been wearing one.

Within seconds the heavy drops were crashing down all around you both, people ran for cover and merchants began to hurriedly set up a canopy over their goods.

Reiner grabbed your wrist and began to run.

With his free hand, he began undoing the buttons on his shirt.

“Summer shower.” He explained. “It won’t last long, but it’ll be a soaker.”

Women around you let out a squeal as a loud rumble of thunder echoed out over the town. Puddles were already forming as Reiner hurriedly led you down the clearing street. As you ran, water splashed around your ankles as the water was already collecting on the road.

“What are you doing?!” you called out over the loud crashing of water. “You’ll catch your death!” By the time you uttered the last word of your sentence, he whipped around and lay his large shirt over your head before returning to pull you along.

Not long after, you’d reached the stables where the transport horses were kept. It was deserted, being the cadets weekend off and were carting the soldiers to their home towns for the next couple of days.

“Dont want that pretty dress to be ruined, do we?” he joked, yet his face stayed serious.

“Reiner…” you whispered in awe, inaudible due to the crashing rain.

Reiner pushed open the large wooden door of the hay storage barn, before ushering you inside.

“Are you crazy?” you laughed once they were tucked in away from the downpour.

Beads of rain rolled down his bare flesh, trailing down his pronounced pectorals and solid abs.

Reiner shrugged. “Didn’t want you getting cold and wet.”

Your eyes softened gorgeously as he turned to rub his hand over his hair, getting excess droplets off him.

His back muscles flexed with every small movement before he turned back around, Goosebumps raising on his skin and his nipples hardening from the chill.

The barn was filled with the relaxing sounds of the heavy pattering of rain on the wooden roof above your heads. This was the side of Reiner you’d been waiting to see.

You knew he had it in him, underneath the crude jokes and the flirting attempts. He was a gentleman through and through. He just liked to hide it for whatever reasons you didn’t know.

His shirt was warm and his scent rolled off it into your nose.

You hadn’t realised how much you actually enjoyed his smell until now. It sent waves of comfort over you, like the smell alone was his big strong arms wrapping around your body, ensuring your safety and comfort.

Yes.

You’d decided.

You had been pondering on your feelings towards your classmate for a little while now and wanted to be sure. The torment of professionalism as well as distractions from training had been hanging over your head.

But there was just something about him that you were pulled to.

He jumped a little when you placed your soft hand gently on his forearm. The skin across the bridge of his nose and under his eyes instantly heated up, turning a hue of pink.

You were so close to him and he got what he always yearned for – for your skin to be touching his.

The next thing he knew you were reaching up and planting a tender kiss on his cheek.

The breath caught in his throat and that pinkness burned more brightly. Every muscle in his body tensed and his eyes enlarged slightly. But what really sent his chest thudding, was when you pulled the kiss away.

You kept your face close to his, now bearing the same pink hue. Your gorgeous eyes glistened, long lashes framing them beautifully. You smiled adorably, pulling at his shirt that was now draped across your shoulders.

“Thank you…”

You spoke softly, your hair a little messed up from the shirt, but it just made you look even more beautiful.

“For what…?” he replied in a haze.

“Being you…”

Those last words penetrated straight through his macho exterior and felt like they pierced into his heart, injecting some sort of warm fluid that quickly spread across his entire chest.

He didn’t even think.

It was like he went on auto pilot and his instincts just took over.

Placing the side of his index finger under your chin, he tilted your head up slightly and closed the gap between you, gently pressing his lips against yours.

His heart smashed against his solid barrel chest as you return the kiss, your lips softer than he had ever imagined them to be.

You run your hands up his shoulders and hung them, opening youe mouth a little wider as you kissed, giving him full permission to explore your mouth.

He did so without hesitation.

Sliding his tongue passed your sweet lips, he entwined it with yours.

It felt like fireworks and explosion were going off around him and he thought he could see stars behind his closed eyelids.

Having you kissing him and getting to be this close and intimate with you was the best feeling he’d ever had.

The adrenaline was richer and sweeter than any fight he’d been in or any training exercise.

It just felt perfect.

It began to get heated pretty quickly as your pace quickened slightly, deep exhales leaving his nose and his brow became furrowed and desperate.

You truly did make him feel weak.

He handles you gently. Although he knows you're strong, you also felt delicate, like his big lumbering body could break you at any moment.

Your fingers run through his hair and you press up against him, his arms wrapping around your form in a sweet embrace.

Although he thought he was the luckiest man alive to be able to kiss you, his body quickly began needing more.

He battled with it, keeping it under control and letting you now take the lead of the kiss.

You gently pull his pouty bottom lip with your teeth, making it that much harder for him to not throw you down and lift up that dress.

Instead, he settled for a pleased grunt, his brows creasing deeper as he became hungrier.

You slowly pulled away.

He pressed his forehead against yours, unable to hide the dumb grin that spread across his face as he caresses your hair with his right hand.

“What’s with that goofy grin?” you joked quietly; her sweet breath warm on his face.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” He replied, his grin stretching further.

Smiling, you lower your head almost shyly at that titbit of information.

You then fix your eyes on his. “Really?”

“Of course…” he looked genuinely surprised. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

“Oh stop.” You laugh.

He took your hand and placed it on his bare chest over his rapid heartbeat. His honey eyes not removing their gaze from yours. “I swear.”

You didn’t know what to say.

“Well, you have awful taste.” Was what you settled for.

But having Reiner Braun, of whom didn’t really catch your eye at first, now you'd gotten to know him, was extremely attractive; his chest bare and holding you close like this set a burning desire deep within you.

One that you would have to keep under control.

…For now.

You gently place your hand on his jawline before replacing your mouth onto his.

He let out a small unintentional exhale from his nose, more than happy to slide his warm tongue back inside of your mouth.

Your hands gently caressed his broad shoulders, pace quickening and teeth grazing his lip.

You didn’t want to let things get too heated too quickly, but battling your urges seemed like an uphill battle. He’d grown on you a hell of a lot over the last year and a half and having him hold you like this felt amazing.

As Reiner kissed you, he pushed away the little voice inside of his head that was telling him this was all a big mistake and he had just complicated things massively.

He didn’t care.

His feelings for you had always surpassed the doubts that swirled around in his mind. And now, knowing you had some reciprocating feelings it was incomprehensible that he would now turn his back on you.

He grazed his hand lightly up your arm as he slowly and almost gracefully devoured the inside of your mouth. Your skin was the softest thing he’d ever touched like some fine silk from a faraway land. He almost felt like he was ruining you, just by having his unworthy hands upon your flesh.

You pull away once again and he sealed the kiss with another gently peck.

“This is crazy…” you sigh, taking a step back. “We’re training to be soldiers.”

“I know how you feel, believe me.” He muttered, a frown tugging at his mouth. “But I think life’s a little too short to be putting good things on the back burner.”

You pondered on that for a moment.

He began to feel desperate. Now that he had your affections within his grasp, he wasn’t about to let them slip through his fingers.

“I mean…” he took a step forward and took your hand into his large pair. “I know I joke around a lot but you…”

He paused for a moment, choosing his words.

“I didn’t kiss you with the intention of just having you then leaving. …I want us to be together. Properly. Hell, if we weren’t in Cadets, I would be asking you to marry me right now.”

That blushing hue returned to his face as he shyly looked away, not used to spilling out his feelings like this.

But the humiliation and discomfort would be worth it if he managed to gain you as his own.

Again… When did I get so weak?

You do a better job than he at hiding the grin that was threatening to spread across your face.

Instead, your face matched his reddening tone.

“Are you saying… You love me, Reiner Braun?” you spoke softly.

He pushed away every instinct that told him to run and hide.

“Yeah. As a matter of fact, I am.” He replied steadily.

Now it was your turn to ignore her instincts to run.

“R-Reiner. It’s not that I don’t care for you too, I do. But… Ah, it’s complicated.” You grimaced. “I don’t know when.. uh… I’ll be ready to…” your face was almost glowing at this point.

“Hey hey…” he soothed. “Its okay. I love you. I don’t care about waiting.” His face returned to the familiar serious soldier expression you were so used to seeing during training. “Even if you’d wanna wait until after marriage. I don’t mind.”

You squirm uncomfortably. “Its not that. Maybe we can talk about it… Another time?”

It perplexed him but he didn’t mind. “Of course.”

You breathe a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

“So…?” He melted back into that cheeky smirk.

The classic Reiner grin. Mischievous and cunning.

“You wanna give this a shot?”

You had noticed the rain had slowed to a stop, the clouds had moved on and the sun was shining once again.

You'd known Reiner now for almost two years. Spent every single day pretty much in his presence. You'd worked together, laughed together and well… Now this.

You reminded herself how strong that urge was to kiss him only minutes ago. Why you initiated closeness in the first place. Your mind fluttered through the pages of your recent memories and how he had been making you feel these days, and how your eyes have been lingering upon him a little longer than you'd have liked.

You let out a sigh before smirking back at him. “Sure. But don’t get comfortable now. Just because you have me doesn’t mean you can start slacking your charm.”

You playfully pushed his cheeks together with your index and thumb, resulting in a chuckle rumble from his broad chest.

“I swear it.” He grinned, kissing her.

“Come on. We’d better head back.” You smile, handing him back his shirt.

[leviiattacks]

ceo levi falling in love?

author note :: THIS WAS SM FUN TO WRITE?? levi in the modern world is just always enjoyable for me. anyways it’s just lots of shy ceo levi and secretary reader :-) as always requests are open feel free to stop by !! :D word count :: some how i got to 2.4k,,,, i promise it was an accident it doesn’t feel that long 

levi falls in love slowly. he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it until he looks at you one day during a company meeting and is unable to understand why he can’t take his eyes off you

usually he’s able to shift his focus away but he’s stuck in place despite his efforts to look away

the entire meeting is him occasionally humming his approval at all the proposals and prospective business plans being presented to him

when, truly he is NOT listening at all. he’s trying to figure out when the hell and why the hell he began to feel this way for you.

it gets to a point where he’s so distracted over it he ends the team meeting early

everyone in the room exchanges worried glances between each other.

mr ackerman, letting them leave early? that’s a first but HEY!! they’ll take it!!

as everyone disperses out of the room he’s sitting with his back hunched in his plush office chair when he then comes to the realization that he has no idea when he did fall for you,,,,, it just sorta happened????

well, you are basically around him 24/7 and help him with everything but, his newfound feelings still catch him by surprise

at first he’s scared. the feeling is odd and the way his chest tightens as he speaks to you doesn’t feel right at all.

“any specific type of tea for today?” you ask waiting for his response

the rope squeezes at his heart and he squirms around a little.

“u-um, the usual is just fine”

WHY DID HE TRIP OVER HIS WORDS...??

WHY...????

but AGAIN he ignores it, he knows it’s for the best if he doesn’t get emotionally involved with you.

for the record, levi’s definition of emotionally involved is dating you, he doesn’t know that despite not dating you he is very much still emotionally involved with you

he’s pretty good at hiding his feelings though and the fact he likes you goes unnoticed by literally everyone

well, it does stay that way for a little while

that is until someone else expresses interest in you.

it’s a normal friday evening but for some unknown reason he can’t stop himself from clenching his jaw when he walks past you and overhears jean the new head of marketing ask if you’re single

levi is stood behind you and turns to hand his chilling stare to jean who slowly notices. he looks like his knees are about to buckle. “?,&:£:& sorry for asking,,, i’ll...... get going......”

levi just grunts in annoyance glaring at him even as he scurries out the hallway.

you turn to look at him and happily smile “ahhh thank you, i didn’t know how to turn him down he just joined the team so you know, it was weird he asked that”

levi just nods and tells you to get back to work and he hears you squeak out a “yepyepyep!!!”

levi is also very in denial about the way he feels

one day it’ll be “yeah i like y/n” the next it’s “no i do not...that is literally SO stupid. me??? in love?? never.”

also, when you accidentally brush past his skin he can’t help but tense up slightly and look anywhere but where you’re touching him

one time you place a hand on his forehead to check on his temperature because you do not trust him to be honest about having a fever

the scent of your vanilla perfume it’s sweet and simple but it makes him feel incredibly shy for no reason at all

GOD.

he feels like a stupid flustered school boy

ALL THIS OVER SOME PERFUME??

the man can’t even handle looking you in the eye. he’s reading his paperwork acting as nonchalant as possible when he’s really just freaking out

is my forehead sweaty?

fuck, fuck, fuck how do i look up close?

his thoughts are so jumbled up he doesn’t know how to respond to you when you ask if he’s really doing okay

“your cheeks are bright red, maybe you do have a fever?” you’re frowning and rummaging through your bag hoping to find something to help his pounding headache

but all he’s doing as he sits at his desk is nervously opening and closing his pen by the lid

he can’t tell if his face is red because he’s ill or because he likes you

and it’s driving him CRAZY??

wait a second.

does he like you? or does he like-like you?? or does he lo- no he does not love you that is absurd

what really cements his feelings for you is the day he’s unable to reel his mouth back in.

he just starts rambling about everything that has been stressing him out recently

the new company merger, developing new product designs, reviewing humongous stacks of paperwork, attending all these long meetings

he is being driven to his breaking point and you stand there taking it all in

“hey, take the day off.” your soft voice cuts him off mid sentence and he looks at you like you just told him to curl up into a ball and die

take a day off???? he does not have the time to take a day off??

he assumes you’re frustrated by his behaviour and begins to apologize. “i’m sorry that was unprofessional i shouldn’t have don-”

“i’ll finish the paperwork. your next meeting is scheduled for tomorrow. it’s okay to take a breather.” you pick up the stack of documents and move to transfer them over to your desk

but levi is persistent.

he stands in your way and you look at him expecting him to step out

“there is no need for that.” his tone is firm but you’re still defiant

“it’s my job as your secretary to alleviate your workload.” you don’t even spare him a glance and he feels like he’s burdening you now

sure, you are his secretary but allowing you to complete all that work on your own is ludicrous

waltzing around him you beeline towards your desk but again he steps in your way interjecting your path

“lev-”

your face morphs into a mortified expression and you panic, you did not just call him by his first name AT WORK

“i mean,” [insert an anxious yet deliberate cough] “mr ackerman.”

“listen, i understand you’re very stressed sir but i’ll finish the work off so please rest up. you need to be refreshed for tomorrow’s company dinner with the investors.”

you’re pleading he takes your advice but all he can do is blink in confusion

you would do that for him???

are you really just diligent and caring or,,, does he maybe have a chance at asking you out?

but again as quick as the idea enters his head it leaves.

asking you out sounds absurd to him, you deserve way better than someone like him

levi is having another one of his jealous moments

you’ve latched yourself onto reiner braun’s arm at the company dinner and he turns away frustrated

you look really pretty

like,,, sUPER pretty

like,,, drop dead gorgeous

he clears his throat when you both make eye contact

you perk up a little and your hand raises to wave at him but levi is so horrible at interacting with you he ends up ignoring you completely...

the pit of fire in his stomach flares up when he hears reiner compliment you, he’s surprised you even accept it and thank him

now, levi is not annoyed because you don’t deserve the compliment.

no, no, no you deserve all the compliments under the sun as far as he’s concerned but what the hell does “you look way better than normal.” even mean??

he thinks you look pretty every day so he’s just a tad bit offended by it

and he only begins to realize he’s in too deep when he sees the way reiner is getting a little too handsy for his liking

he doesn’t interrupt by saying anything even though he really wants to, you seem to not mind reiner’s touch

so he won’t step in between that, it’s not even any of his business

but it certainly doesn’t stop his displeasure from being blatantly obvious and displayed on his face

“ahhh mr ackerman, if it isn’t a pleasure to see you?”

levi hears an investor greet him but his eyes are glued on you.

you’re laughing so hard at one of braun’s jokes and he feels the same flame in his stomach.

it’s rising and reaches his chest igniting once again and he narrows his eyes finally looking away

he’s not going to spare you another glance this entire evening instead he’ll occupy himself with business talk

“mr acker-”

spinning on his heel he twists around and is face to face to with one of his close sponsors erwin smith

he smiles and the two shake hands discussing new company developments and shared work stress before some how shifting to each other's personal lives

“seeing anyone?” erwin’s question makes levi stiffen and his eyes flick towards where you were just standing a while ago

you’re no longer there but he spots you a little further away now sitting alone

you look a little lost and he feels a sudden and strong magnetism

he wants to approach you to talk so badly, and as his eyes scan around the room he sees reiner occupying himself in a suggestive conversation with a lady from HR

she’s definitely trying to flirt and he’s reciprocating easily

oh, so you’ve been ditched...?

is reiner OK???

first the backhanded compliment

now he’s ditching YOU???

it makes levi feel a little angry and frustrated

he doesn’t even notice at first because he’s so deep in thought but erwin leans in to whisper in his ear. “i know that look, go talk to your crush.”

“we’re much too old for you to be using the term crush. it makes it sound childish.” levi grumbles before taking a sip from his wine glass

“i’ll go keep my secretary company. i’ve spoke to most of the other investors it should be okay.” the statement is more of a question but smith nods in response

“it’ll be more than okay, go get em’ tiger!” erwin lands a light punch onto levi’s shoulder and he grins before walking away

to levi’s disappointment he’s unable to speak to you

you end up getting dragged into conversation with some of the other employees and he doesn’t see you again

so much for talking to you, he couldn’t even get within a meters radius

he’s now out on the balcony for a breathe of fresh air, the past few hours have consisted of tedious and forced small talk with an investor’s daughter

her father has been BEGGING levi, even bribing him to consider marrying her but levi rejects every single time

there’s nothing wrong with the girl really

she’s well educated and quite pretty but... that’s all he knows about her?

AND no one beats you, even though he’s still kinda in denial about liking you

hell, not like that part matters he doesn’t even know the girl’s name what does her dad expect from him?

was it sharron? shana? he forgot her name as soon as it was said 

much to levi’s dismay he hears an unexpected giggle behind him and then an arm slinks over his shoulder, the investor’s daughter has followed him out and is now pressing her chest against him awaiting a reaction

frankly, he wants to push her off BUT he’ll be in big trouble and lose a key sponsor if he handles this incorrectly

“could you please distance yourself?” he tries to intimidate the younger girl away with the bitter tone of his voice but it only seems to motivate her

“feisty one aren’t you?” she’s looking up at him through her lashes and her poor attempt at looking appealing only makes levi internally face palm

her index finger is drawing circles into his tie and he feels his breath hitch due to how uncomfortable she’s making him

“please move.” he requests for her to listen once again and he’s now taken a step back but she only follows and keeps her firm grip on his tie

she doesn’t seem to be letting up and there’s nothing he can really do about it.

he guesses he’ll just wait till she gets bored but the time passes at an excruciatingly slow rate

in this fifteen minute duration she’s played around with his hair which has SERIOUSLY annoyed him because he took time to style it

and he thought it looked pretty cool

now she’s only pushed and pushed further and further into his chest and he can feel her hot icky breath hit his neck

the veins in his forehead are twitching in expanding irritation and he doesn’t know how much more of this he can tolerate

“you’re making him uncomfortable.” levi’s head snaps to the right and there you are still as beautiful as the last time he saw you

your arms crossed over your chest and you’re looking the girl up and down

“and who might you be?” the way she scoffs seems to be enough to piss you off because your face morphs into a scowl.

big Yikes...you’re mad

“leave him alone.”

“you must be of no importance, we have no time for-”

“step away before i make a report on the grounds of sexual harassment.”

you flip your phone out smirk plastered across your face

“it’s all been recorded. know your place.” you’re unyielding and even levi is thinking??? wow??? you know how to not be nice??? because well, he’s never seen you this mad 

just as you expect she barges out in a fury (not before flicking you off), you’ve left her brimming with rage and you feel rather proud of yourself

you release a content sigh

“do i get a raise for saving you or what?” you dryly jab 

he’s always loved your straightforward jokes, they align perfectly with his blunt humour

he murmurs his appreciative thanks

“are you enjoying yourself?” he asks the question eager to know what your answer is

it’s another way he knows he’s falling way too deep for his liking

he never asks anyone else these trivial questions

“enjoyable. although reiner is a little.” you pause to find the correct words

“he just made me a little uncomfy, he’s very extroverted so i felt out of place. thankfully he’s preoccupied himself elsewhere.” the same lonely look from before returns to your face 

yeah, it is kinda sucky to have your date ditch you

“you don’t have to tolerate-” levi starts then stops.

you’ve leant in to hear him after saying you can’t hear much over the hustle and bustle from inside

“the- i mean- what i’m trying to say is” he looks at you completely stunned trying to piece together what he wants to say

wOWIE!!!! you literally look so stunning up close he can not formulate a sentence, he has officially LOST IT

the words he say next fly out of his mouth after a lengthy internal struggle “fuck. what i’m saying is, what i mean is, you could always come as my date next time.”

now you’re the one looking at him stupefied.

again, he’s looking anywhere but at you

the closest he gets to it is taking a glimpse of your dress,

it’s black and suits you well with the little ruffles and all.

“i’d love that.”

the tips of his ears grow red in embarrassment but... YOU ACCEPTED???

NOW. levi is giddy on the inside but makes no move to make it obvious instead he opts to scratch his neck and give you an awkward thumbs up

you take note of his body language and the possible realization dawns on you

but you can’t really tell if it’s the doing of alcohol

either way you grab onto his suit and begin to lead the way back into the main hall

“may as well start being my date now? not like reiner’s coming back any time soon” he can’t see your face but he can tell you’re smiling as you speak

levi’s cheeks are bright red but he thanks the chilly night air and darkness for hiding the way he’s reacting

he won’t confess just yet, it’s too early and again he’s in major denial but when staring at the hand that holds onto his suit jacket his heart tingles a little

more like a LOT...

but really whatever it is the two of you have got going on right now it weirdly makes the both of you feel weak at the knees

to be honest, levi enjoys it

and so do you :-)

[ares-would-be-proud]

Izzy said: Fairy! Im so excited for your dark content!! Since i saw it on your other blog, may i request for yandere bertholdt 👀 i feel the would make the most unsuspecting but worst (or best?) Yandere next to armin because he's so gentle and unassuming and shy, no one would ever think he has other intentions

Yandere Bertolt pt.I

{ Bertolt x reader | tw:yandere, tw:toxic-behaviour, tw:near-death experince, tw:murder mystery? Eh kinda, tw:manipulation tw:Emotional-rollercoster | Dark romance, fluff, slowburn, lowkey funny ngl | Canonverse }

{ "Roses" 1878 by George Cochran Lambdin 1830–1896 }

Securing the last belt around your thighs before attaching it to the one near your knees, you made sure to tighten it as much as you can before sliding it in the metal head.

Having the equipment room all to yourself, you took your time in double-checking everything was in place. Making sure your gas tanks were filled, carrying spare steel blades and tightening your boot strings.

The manoeuvring gear's parts made a clinking sound against each other with every step you took. Making your way to the nearby woods acting as the training ground, the sun shining made you shield your eyes with your hands, taking some seconds to adjust to the brightness.

The road was clear, with almost no birds or squirrels in sight.

It was one of those days when the wind seemed so fast as it swept by you, so much in fact that you could visibly see the few clouds swimming by as if they're racing each other. A perfect day to spend near a lake maybe, or in a field of flowers, but you had to spend it training in the woods with the other soldiers till your fingers ached from pressing against the handgrips.

You wanted to get it over with, feeling nauseous. Probably because you managed to oversleep and miss breakfast.

It started as normally as any other training session went, pushing through till your autopilot took over. While fun at first, there's so much manoeuvring between tree branches to slash at 2d wooden cutout of titans you could do before it started getting repetitive.

And so you let your body take over and move on its own, taking you further and further towards the edge of the forest till you couldn't hear the sound of anyone else's manoeuvring gear except your own.

The high wind rustling the trees making the leaves fall distorted your visions as they fell on you, and the flashing sunlight that swept through the small openings between the leaves only made things worse.

Blinding you for split seconds, too bright in fact, that you had to close your eyes shut as it burned after the light fell directly against it.

It's only after a couple of seconds late, that the sound of something snapping registered in your brain.

You were slowly turning in the air, strong wind resistance coming from below as gravity pulled you down.

Things were moving too quickly to process, dread shot through your entire body in shivers, you could feel your heartbeat in the back of your throat as you came closer and closer to the ground.

No matter how many times your clammy hands attempted to work the pistol-shot, no hooks attached to the nearby trees despite the gears working as you heard its zipping noise.

The realisation of the situation you're in finally settled, you couldn't do a single thing, but watch the trees grow larger and larger by the second as you fell to your doom.

You've survived many expeditions and missions, you've escaped Titans teeth that were mere inches from biting your head off, and this is what will put you seven feet below? A mere fall?

...no, it wasn't just a fall, it was arrogance for taking it for granted. After all, overconfidence was a slow and insidious killer, sneaking on the second you let your guard down.

But was it?

A flash of today's morning comes before your eyes, your brain recalling the unusual spot your manoeuvring gear was placed, you were too sleepy to notice it at the time but now it's the only thing on your mind, did someone-

Before you could hit the ground, the familiar sound of pressured gas fizzling out followed by the clinking of metal swishing by.

One second you were almost slamming into the hard ground, the next you were caught by someone mid-flight.

Bertolt tightly pressed you against his chest with one arm, securing you in place while his other used his gear to reach the nearest tree branch.

Your hands wrapped around him, securing yourself even more. He didn't flinch when your nails accidentally scratched his neck from how hard you were holding him.

Despite how close you were to his chest, your own hammering heartbeat was the only sound you could hear for it was stuck in your throat as the adrenaline pumped through your veins.

You hesitantly let go the second your feet touched the ground, although still shaking you managed to find your balance again, yet, Bertolt's hand didn't leave your back.

You looked below at the wires dangling from your gear, their end visibly thinner than the rest of it. It still didn't register how a wire made out of iron could snap so easily…

Your thoughts were interrupted by the hand reluctantly turning your face back up, Bertolt's nervous eyes meeting yours.

"Don't look down too much, you'll get dizzy" he said, concern clear in his voice before stepping closer to you, his large body tucking you between him and the tree behind, as if you might slip away "are you okay? Did you get injured?"

A bit taken back by his dotting, you shook your head before thanking him for not letting you fall.

"Don't mention it please...it's nothing, really." That seemed to make the corner of his lips rise a bite, slight flushing to his ears. "Maybe you should get some rest, you didn't seem well back there."

Was he watching?

The thought disappeared from your mind as quickly as it came, the guy saved you from a head injury after all, the least you could do is give him the benefit of the doubt.

Not to mention, it was Bertolt. Has it been any other guy, Reiner or Jean for example, then your attitude towards this whole thing would've been completely different. Putting as much space as you can between the two of you after brushing off their hands.

Has it been any other guy...but it wasn't now, was it?

No. It was Bertolt, soft-spoken and easily flustered Bertolt, who got nervous in most situations and didn't reply to teasing.

Bertolt, who didn't say a thing when Eren stole his seat next to Reiner, instead settled to sit next elsewhere.

Bertolt, who always remained humble and downplayed his skills despite ranking in the top five and becoming a really valuable soldier.

Bertolt, who you've only ever said hi to before once before he seemed to panic and just awkwardly wave back instead.

Maybe that's why you didn't mind him being so close, he wasn't a threat and most everyone knew that. If you asked people to rank the top three men they'd feel safe in a room with, Bertolt would almost make it to everyone's top two.

And so when he offered to walk you back to your room, it didn't raise any red flags despite it meaning you'd be alone with him in the dorms while everyone was training.

-

The short walk went fairly nice actually, he kept a respectful space between you while making sure to walk at a slower pace so his height wouldn't force you to jog.

From the sweat collecting at his forehead and his hands fidgeting with the hem of his shirt he seemed to struggle to find a good conversation starter.

You could read him like an open book, it was quite endearing the way he commented over how nice the weather is, four times in a row while stumbling over his words. But you weren't that cruel and so you decided to grant him mercy, starting a topic yourself.

Talking about your interest, hobbies and things you'd do whenever those rare moments of peace and normalcy would arrive.

He shared his too, apparently, he's into journaling, finding it much easier to write his thoughts on paper than out loud.

One conversation pulled another, as he seemed to grow more comfortable the more you talked.

Although, he wouldn't meet your eyes for more than 5 seconds before turning his gaze away, yet you could feel them staring at you the second you turn your head.

Somewhere between your conversation, the subject switched to talking about life. Bertolt asked you if this is the kind of life you've wanted, words unusually firm that it made you pause.

The question was out of place, a huge switch from your previous fun topics.

Nonetheless, you answered, "I don't think anyone would willingly choose this life. It's more of...doing the most out of the cards you've been dealt, this just happened to be mine."

The sound of his footsteps stopped, you looked at his face, he didn't look away.

"Would you rather have a more normal life?"

The way he stood, his back to the sun with you in his shadow, an unreadable expression on his face, really brought out his height and large build that you've almost forgotten.

you unconsciously took a step back, he took a step forward.

"If by normal you mean a non-starving one where I'm not at the risk of being eaten daily, then yeah." You answered, time felt like it slowed down. The seconds stretched for too long as you watched his reaction.

He...smiled, a sincere smile, the kind that makes your eyes shine. Soft expression seemingly relieved as he continued walking, a slight bounce to his steps.

"I'd love that too, to have a normal life one day."

And then he proceeded to tell you about his dream, the normal life of peacefulness he seeks. Sharing as many details as time would allow, from the kind of person he wants to grow up to be, to the colour he wants to paint the house backyard's fence.

It was lavender.

When he mentioned wanting a dog, you couldn't decide what was funnier, the mental image of Bertolt with an equally almost as big kind of dog, or a small tiny breed that would fit in his hands. Taking him for walks and playing catch as the dog tackles him to the ground.

Some chuckles escaped your lips, and while Bertolt didn't know what you were smiling about, nonetheless he joined too.

-

Your time together was cut short when the dorms came into view. Feeling both relief for finally being able to rest and disappointment for having to end your conversation so soon, especially since you think this is the first actual talk you had with him besides saying hi before.

Bertolt, looking out for you, made sure to hold the door to your room open for you. Some part of your brain wondered how exactly he managed to guess which room was yours, the other simply couldn't wait to get into bed.

You sat on the bed, Bertolt invited himself in and closed the door behind him.

He took his time looking around your shared room with his eyes, staring at the titles of the books splayed on the table, taking in the smell of scented incense your roommate bought every month, the doodles, drawings and notes hanging by mere tape against the wall.

Finally, eyes landing on the top bunk bed, currently empty with your roommate having left too early in the morning for the preparations of their next expedition.

Well...after all you were too used to waking up by the sound of them opening and closing all the drawers in search of their glasses that they manage to lose each day, yet yesterday they made sure to sleep next to it.

Huh, maybe that's why you overslept.

Yet, Bertolt's eyes didn't move as he stared seconds too long, shoulders growing stiff and palms tightening against his side.

"They left for an expedition, a titan capturing one... I think." You explained, "it's supposed to last three days, but since it's led by Captain Hange...I wouldn't be too surprised if they still haven't left yet."

"Must be nice, having the room for yourself."

You agreed before adding "well, it still gets too lonely sometimes."

Bertolt looked like he wanted to say something, lips parting for a second before he pressed them close into a thin line.

An awkward silence filled the room, as you looked at Bertolt who seemed to revert back to his old nervousness.

"I think I should go, Reiner must be looking for me."

You thanked him again for his help, he avoided your eyes before mumbling a reply, saying it's really nothing.

Did you do something wrong? You couldn't help but think that, after all things were going so well just now. Why would he get on edge again?

As a final attempt to redeem yourself from whatever unknown act you must've committed for Bertolt to act this uncomfortable, you called out to him one last time.

"Hey, Bertolt. I know we technically just met but, just know you can drop by anytime okay? You seem like a nice person and we can be friends."

Oh god did you really say, we can be friends, what is this kindergarten again? Welp you fucked up, looks like it's another failure to add to the calendar, man and you've been keeping such a clean track of days without accidents.

You know what? No, forget it, you tried your best and you had good intentions so why should you ever feel guilty for-

"You really mean that?" Bertolt, whom

You've become aware was still in the room, said.

Not sure how to reply to this, you just gave a nod instead.

"I'd love that." He spoke with a soft tone. And despite his growing desire to move closer to you, he opened the door instead, sparing you one last sweet smile before he left.

And for a good minute there, his smiling face was all that occupied your mind, a fluttering feeling that came and went too quickly for you to acknowledge.

-

True to your predictions, the mission was apparently delayed till midnight for...undisclosed reasons. Although gossip spread faster than wildfire, and by dinner time everyone was talking about the argument Captain Hange and Captain Levi got into, the story got modified and exaggerated each time it was passed around.

"Listen, I was there and I saw it! Well...not with my own eyes but it doesn't matter." Your roommate said, too eager to spill you everything that they almost forgot to eat their food. "It was big, like Captain Miche having to restrain Levi kind of big!"

You gave them a silent look, raising an eyebrow.

"...okay jeez it didn't get this far but it felt like it did, like it almost happened." They poked their food with the fork, before deciding to try some.

Their pouting face almost made you want to tease them even more, just to see what corner you can back them into before they confess to making up half the story they've been telling you.

But a wrenching gut feeling suddenly shot through your body, coming almost out of nowhere, the kind you'd usually feel whenever a titan was targeting you.

Confusion was naturally your first response, there couldn't be any titans nearby. You swallowed down, no don't be silly, it doesn't even make sense.

Maybe...maybe it was one of those cases you studied in class? About people getting PTSD flashbacks at random times, or from small triggers?

The air seemed too cold and too hot at the same time, you forced your eyes to move around the room in an attempt to remind yourself everything is fine, that you're here.

Seeing your friends, fellow soldiers and veterans just sitting around, enjoying their food while joking with their friends, helped ground you to reality again.

Yeah...see? Nothing's wrong, everyone's having a good time so-

Your gaze met Bertolt's, dark eyes staring back but not at you. No, instead they were focused on your roommate. The knot in your stomach twisted.

Beside him, Reiner was murmuring something under his breath as he leaned closer to Bertolt, his stare following the other's gaze.

Reiner seemed unusual, drops of sweat collecting at his forehead while Bertolt was the opposite, the calmest you've ever seen him actually.

Reiner gave Bertolt one final look, lips moving too fast for you to attempt to even read. Bertolt nodded.

And then it was like nothing happened, both of them going back to their usual selves. Reiner's attention was stolen by Eren asking about his food, while Bertolt looked at Jean who sat next to him without asking before commenting on Eren.

"Hey, are you okay? You look…" your roommate said, concern in their voice before their hand found your forehead. "I heard what happened this morning, with the manoeuvring gear, I didn't want to bring it up but…"

You didn't have to be told twice, and so you reassured them it's okay, you'll get some rest, not like you'd complain about having an excuse to get a day off.

That seemed to make them satisfied, well...that and making you swear on the scouts' honour to take care of yourself while they're away.

After dinner, as you were headed to your room while your roommate had to get to the stable before heading out with their group, you passed by Reiner.

It wouldn't have been unusual, wasn't it for the fact he was fully in his uniform with gear ready that you had to do a double-take.

You swore you just saw him in casual clothes at dinner...was he also going on that mission? Huh, weird you can't remember seeing his name on the list.

-

The week passed by slower than you would've liked, with both of the survey corps Captains gone, most of the soldiers...really had nothing to do but waste time.

It was almost funny, wasn't it for the fact you were bored out of your mind.

Captain Miche rarely gave orders, the only time you'd see him is during training season when everyone had to do a round with him. While commander Erwin didn't really entrust soldiers who weren't close to him with his paperwork or even chores.

At least Sasha and Connie were making the most of it, whatever they were doing seemed fun…

Bertolt never took you up on your offer either, despite him seemingly having a positive reaction to wanting to be friends he didn't show up at all.

Yet you'd still see him hovering by, either being assigned the same chore together or simply happening to be in the same room at the same time. And despite how much you've thought about going up to him to start a conversation, you knew how to read between the lines. You didn't want to make him uncomfortable that's all.

He'll come when he's ready, is what you told yourself.

And well, you were right, eventually, he did.

Not only did he initiate talking, he even attempted to ask if you'd like to accompany him to the nearby town maybe.

With the way his hands were clasped behind his back and slight flushing to his cheeks as he summoned all his courage to ask you that, how could you say no?

-

It was almost like seeing an entirely different person.

Bertolt, in his casual clothes, as he strolled by you through the food stands, seemed a much more...healthier version of himself?

He looked at peace, the smile never leaving his lips. He even made jokes and shared his opinions without being asked.

Whenever you went to check something that stole your attention, he would quickly follow by to erase any form of distance. Whenever your eyes fell on a piece of accessories for too long, he'd suggest you try it on, putting it on you himself.

And yet, whenever his hand would brush yours by accident while walking, he'd almost stumble into the ground and quickly pull it back. Or the time you attempted to adjust the collar of his shirt and you swore his knees almost gave out when you stepped closer, reaching his neck.

Both of you tried different kinds of food, he even offered you his own if you seemed to enjoy a certain food. Saying he'd rather you have it.

Both of you being broke soldiers ment there are only so many things you can do in the town before quickly burning through your savings.

It wasn't long before he suggested going back, you agreed to take the long walk back to enjoy nature a bit more.

You've wondered how come Bertolt only seems the most comfortable when talking to you on walks, but the story he was telling you was too interesting for you to think about it now.

You listened to him talk, it felt like you could listen to him for hours on end before getting bored. For someone who rarely spoke, he surely did have a way with words when he actually did.

It was nice, comfortable and gave you a false sense of normalcy as if the world was okay for a short while.

One final thought you had just before the both of you parted to go to your separate rooms, was that if Bertolt was going to write about this day in his journal.

-

For each day of the remaining week, you and Bertolt managed to hang out more and more.

You went to the lake, a frog landed on him that you had to remove because he was too nervous he might crush it.

He took you to a nearby spot in the town, it seemed normal at first but he just told you to wait. Apparently, each after some dogs would frequent this spot and Bertolt has already made friends with most of them.

And on the last day, both of you actually just spent it...in his room. He had a really comfortable bed and feather pillows that you almost didn't want to leave. And despite sharing a bed he still would keep space between you, no matter the uncomfortable positions he had to sit in.

By the end of the week, the expedition group arrived during sundown.

Their heads lifted high, pride clearly across their faces as they rode their horses. Captain Hange especially seemed much more excited than usual, barely managing to stay still on their horse.

The mission was a success apparently, they've managed to capture two titans with zero mortality rate and minor injuries.

...well almost a zero rate.

You were called into Erwin's office in the middle of the night, when Moblit knocked on your door asking you to quietly follow him.

The night air was cold against your thin clothes, silence filling the usually busy hallways, now errly empty.

Knocking before he told you to enter, he seemed busy with some paperwork, instead offering you a seat and asking to wait shortly.

The curtains behind him were closed shut, the candle sitting on his desk seemed on the verge of burning out, melted wax collecting on the plate under it.

It wasn't till after some seconds that you realised you weren't alone in the room, Captain Levi was leaning against the wall on the other side, arms crossed.

The scratching of the pen against the papers would occasionally get replaced with the sound of dipping the metal head inside the liquid ink container, carefully wiping it against the opening to remove any overflowing liquid.

Your fingers fiddled with the red cushion on the armchair, leg slightly bouncing before you force it to stop each time.

Waiting...and waiting.

The back of your throat felt scratchy, only becoming aware of how dry your mouth was then. Attempting to swallow down as a form of relief didn't help much.

"Here, drink it." A glass of water was offered to you by Levi, handing it to you before going back against the wall.

Saying a small thank you before finishing the glass, you felt slightly better afterwards. Although the growing tension in the air didn't help ease your mind.

"Cadet." Erwin clasped his hands, "I apologise for calling you here this late, although considering the circumstances I'm sure you'd understand."

Opening one of the desk drawers, Erwin pulled out something wrapped in a napkin, the white cotton having a growing reddish stain in its middle.

"I offer my condolences."

-

[miyanom]

DEVILS PARADISE (part one)

MASTERLIST | JEAN KIRSTEIN X FEM!READER

synopsis: growing up in marley, y/n learnt the devils of paradis are her greatest enemy. though they shared the blood running through her veins, their mere existence led to constant discrimination against y/n’s people. knowing all of this, y/n enlists in the marleyan warrior program; a program designed to turn eldians like herself into titan shifters. however, joining the program leads y/n to the devil’s paradise, and she realises the truth marley so desperately hid from them.

warnings: spoilers for season 4, blood and violence. reader has hair long enough to be tied up, but only in a flashback.

notes: i’m leaning toward this being a 5 part series at most with jean as the love interest, but i’m not too sure, it might be shorter or longer than that!

word count: 2506

"When you become a Marleyan Warrior, you'll make all of us proud here in Liberio, Y/N." Her mother spoke, pulling the child's hair back as she tied it with a crimson red ribbon. "You'll show them that we aren't like those island devils."

Her mother spoke with disgust as she mentioned the Eldian devils of Paradis. By now, Y/N knew to keep silent and agree with her mother about everything.

"You'll become one of the Warriors for me, won't you, Y/N?" She glanced down at her daughter, a stern expression on her face.

Y/N nodded her head, smiling up at her mother. "Of course."

It was a decision completely out of Y/N's hands, she could only train as hard as she could and hope for the best. But in her mother's eyes, the best just wasn't good enough. It was never good enough.

Looking back, Y/N could hear the words "this is the only way" repeating in her head over and over again until she began to agree with it too.

The only way for the Marleyans to see her family as just a little bit more human, was if Y/N were to become one of the warriors.

Earning that red band and becoming honorary Marleyans was the only way to be happy.

Y/N leaned against the wall of the courtyard her and the others in her Warrior training unit were waiting in. The tip of her shoe digging into the ground in front of her as she stayed buried within her thoughts.

With the previous warriors terms coming to an end, she had heard from the army that she was a prime candidate for one of the Titans, it was almost guaranteed at this point considering the Warrior unit had been narrowed down to the 8 of them.

But soon, one of them would be left behind, while the others are turned to Titan shifters.

“Did you guys hear? We’re attacking Paradis Island in just a few years,” Zeke spoke from where he was sitting, before chucking an apple in Marcel’s direction.

“Huh?” Y/N breathed out, raising her head to look over at the older man.

“It’s almost time for us to inherit Titans,” Zeke continued. “Out of the eight of us, they’re picking seven!”

Y/N looked back at the ground for a moment, the 10 year old’s shoulders becoming stiff. Yes, she was almost guaranteed to receive a Titan, but if something happened and she failed to earn the title of honorary marleyan’s for her family…

“Yes! I can finally be Marleyan!” Reiner spoke excitedly.

“Huh? Why so excited?” Porco glanced over at him. “If anyone’s the worst, it’s you.”

Reiner’s head snapped in the boy’s direction, his hands clenched into fists. “Excuse me?!”

“What’s your strong point?” Porco continued. “Your strength? Your brains? Your aim? Combat ability? Nope. The only value they see in you is your loyalty to Marley.”

Y/N kept her gaze off the two boys, knowing Porco was right. The only thing that made Reiner appealing to Marley was his unrelenting loyalty.

One day, that wouldn’t be enough.

“I’ll slaughter the island devils real good for you, sir!” Porco mocked.

Reiner stepped forward, grabbing Porco’s wrist, causing the boy to drop the apple he was holding. “You making fun of our mission?! Or maybe you’re a stray Restorationist?! You are, aren’t you?! I’ll report you to the Commander!”

“Report this, you little shit!”

When Y/N finally lifted her head, Reiner was already on the ground. And Marcel was holding his brother back from attacking the boy again.

“Hating the island doesn’t make you special!” Porco told him. “Have fun waiting 13 years alone!”

Knocking his brother away, Porco began to storm off, causing Zeke to finally stand up. “Let’s go, Pieck, Y/N.” He spared a quick glance at the girls standing near him.

Pieck, older by just a few small years, was much like a sister to Y/N. Looking out for her during their time in the program despite the fact they were possibly competing for a place.

The raven haired girl took Y/N’s hand, gently pulling her along to follow after Zeke. It was a habit Pieck had taken up after noticing Y/N’s tendency to space out when things got too quiet.

“Don’t cry too long or the Commander will chew me out,” Zeke called back to Reiner, who remained in the dirt.

Y/N glanced over her shoulder as Pieck continued to pull her along, her eyes falling onto Reiner as Bertholdt helped him onto his feet.

Becoming a Warrior was a privilege, Y/N knew that. But why would anyone want to shorten their life to a 13 year term dedicated to fighting Marley’s enemies?

Y/N didn’t want to die in 13 years, she’d rather take the hatred from Marley for the rest of her life, like many others had done before her.

If she had a choice, that was exactly what she would do. But it was too late now.

In a few years, she would be an official Marleyan Warrior, headed for the devil’s island to attack their self imposed century long quarantine.

Y/N’s eyes flickered up to the sky, as a bird flew overhead leaving her to wonder what the island devils were doing in this moment.

Did they really deserve what was coming?

The weeks leading up to Y/N being sent to Paradis all passed by in a blur, whether it was the shock of finally being an honorary Marleyan or the memories of the former host that kept her awake at night, Y/N wasn’t sure.

All she knew was that she was on Paradis Island, headed with Reiner, Annie, Bertholdt and Marcel to break through the wall that kept the devils safe from the Titans Marley had filled the island with over the past century.

Did they really deserve what was coming? Did they deserve it? Did they-

“Y/N, can you?” Bertholdt held the can in Y/N’s direction as he whispered.

Y/N carefully took the unopened can of food from his shaky hands, peeling it open before handing it back. She had been doing it for him the past few nights, his hands too shaky to even open a simple can as it came closer and closer to the day he would kick through the wall.

It couldn’t be easy being the successor for the Colossal Titan, a god of death.

“You alright?” Y/N questioned quietly, taking note of the fear in his eyes.

Bertholdt quickly averted his gaze, letting out a hum as he nodded his head.

He was always quiet like this, and Y/N found it oddly calming. It was a nice difference when compared to the louder members of their unit back in Marley.

It was nice because it reminded her of Pieck, who had stayed behind with Zeke to protect Marley while the others attacked Paradis.

“We didn’t cover much ground tonight,” Marcel commented as he poked at the fire with a stick.

“Can’t do much about the clouds.”

“Will the King really not use the Founding Titan, even if we break the wall?” Bertholdt asked, remembering what they had been told in preparation for their mission.

“What’s the use asking now?” Reiner glanced at him. “Trust Marley’s research.”

Y/N stares at the fire in front of her, one hand coming up to rest against her forearm, right where the material band showing her status would be sitting if she were back in Marley.

It felt weird to not have that constant reminder that she was nothing but Titan shifting scum.

“That’s right. We can’t turn back,” Marcel nodded. “Tomorrow, we reach the wall… and then…”

Y/N remained silent, a shaky breath falling from her lips. Right, tomorrow they would be breaking through the Wall. They’d come face to face with the people they were sent to kill.

It’s not like they haven’t done it before, they were sent to destroy an enemy base as part of their Titan training.

But those people had been actively trying to harm Marley… the devils hadn’t done that in over a century.

Reiner’s eyes scanned the group, a shocked expression painted over his face. “Huh? What? Are you having second thoughts about killing the devils? Have you forgotten what they’ve done?!”

Y/N hugged her legs close to her chest, refusing to look in Reiner’s direction or answer his question.

It was impossible to forget the sins of the Eldians, it had been drilled into their heads for years now, after all.

Reiner stood up quickly. “We’re the world’s chosen Warriors sent to punish the island devils!”

Marcel averted his gaze. “I’m sorry.”

“Huh?”

“Reiner, I’m sorry. You were never meant to be chosen as a Warrior,” Marcel continued.

Y/N’s head shot in the boy’s direction, her eyes widened. She couldn’t say it was a surprise, no, Reiner was the weakest of the warriors in their unit.

Maybe it was a shock?

Marcel’s voice came out like it hurt him to finally admit it. “I talked you up and criticised my brother to influence their decision. I… just want to protect my brother.”

Tears began to fall from his eyes. “I’m sorry, Reiner… I’m sorry!”

Y/N turned to see Reiner’s frozen form, unmoving and engulfed by shock— it was the same thing he did when he watched Marcel get eaten by a Titan.

Frozen, unmoving, and engulfed by shock.

Y/N could still hear Marcel’s screaming, as the other warriors ran for their lives.

Her chest felt heavy as they finally came to a stop, her knees giving out beneath her as she fell to the grass. Teardrops falling against her clenched fists.

How long had she been crying for?

She couldn’t tell, not when she was too focused on escaping the mindless titan that devoured Marcel before their very eyes.

She choked back the sob that threatened to fall from her lips as she realised what they had done; they could’ve saved Marcel, they should’ve saved Marcel, but they ran.

And they lost the Jaw Titan.

Marley was going to kill them, they weren’t even going to reach the end of their 13 year term. They were going to die for failing the mission before even reaching the walls.

Would it even be worth it if they came back with the Founding Titan but not the Jaw Titan? They’d still be left with the same number as before.

Y/N’s eyes widened when she felt a hand press against her back, though she relaxed just slightly as she realised it was Bertholdt.

He looked just as terrified as her.

As Annie caught up to the group, she immediately kicked Reiner, causing the boy to start screaming as he moved away in fear.

“Not bad,” Annie spoke, her voice coming out almost breathlessly from the running. “This is a first. You actually beat me… in a long distance race…”

Y/N wiped her tears away as she pushed herself up, looking back in the direction they had come from.

“If we took out that Titan we wouldn’t have lost Jaw,” Annie told Reiner. “Shit! Now Marcel’s gone for good.”

“They said there wouldn’t be Titans this far out,” Reiner whispered.

“We’ve gotta go home,” Annie averted her gaze. “Let’s find Jaw and leave. They would’ve changed back to human. Besides, without Marcel to lead, this mission is doomed.”

“Do you… do you think they’ll just come willingly?” Y/N breathed out, still trying to catch her breath.

Though just as Y/N moved to follow Annie, Reiner began to yell. “We can’t!”

Y/N turned around, her eyes widening as Reiner held his outstretched hand in their direction. “We can’t go home! We’ve gotta continue the mission!”

“Oh, yeah…” Annie’s eyes narrowed in his direction for a moment. “If we go back now, you’ll just get eaten by the next Warrior.”

Reiner began nodding his head.

Y/N looked away from the boy, biting her trembling lip gently. Porco was the next warrior… he would see Reiner’s memories, see his brother getting eaten…

“You think only I will?” Reiner spoke up, causing the other three to turn back to him. “That only I’ll get the blame for running away? You guys are certain you won’t get eaten, too?”

Y/N swallowed the lump forming in the back of her dried throat, an uneasy feeling returning to the pit of her stomach as she stared at Reiner’s grim face.

“Catching Jaw won’t be easy either. If they used its power and ran, our titans could never catch up.”

“They can’t control it right after becoming-”

“You controlled the Colossal Titan, no problem!” Reiner cut Bertholdt off. “Anyways, we’re doomed at this rate! Without the Founding Titan, there’s no going home!”

He was right, Y/N realised. None of them could catch up with the Jaw Titan, and if they returned empty handed, they would all die.

“Back there, if you were a fraction as calm as you are now, we wouldn’t have lost Marcel or Jaw,” Annie stated. “But you’ve got no problem intimidating us to save your own ass, huh?!”

Walking back toward Reiner, she let out a shout as she kicked the boy in the face, sending him flying backward onto the ground.

“How about you come clean to Magath?! Tell him, “it’s all my fault!” Honorary Marleyan, my ass!” She shouted, continually kicking him over and over again. “Chosen warrior, my ass! Marleyans, Eldians! They’re all liars! Everyone only thinks about themselves!”

Y/N remained silent, knowing Annie was right. The predicament they were in now could’ve been avoided had Reiner remained calm back then.

Marcel died saving him, after all.

If Reiner had just sucked it up, if he just didn’t let what Marcel said get to him, they would’ve been long gone before the Titan even woke up from its slumber.

“Should we… should we stop her?” Bertholdt glanced at Y/N.

Y/N stared at Annie who kept kicking Reiner in her anger, before she looked to Bertholdt and shook her head. “Annie’s right.”

“If you feel guilty, just die! Take all the blame and die!”

With that, Annie began to walk away, leaving Reiner face first on the ground, blood pooling on the grass beneath his face.

A perk of being a Titan shifter was that they could all heal from wounds like that.

Y/N’s eyes widened as Reiner pushed himself up, jumping at Annie and holding her in a headlock. “Reiner is dead,” he spoke. “If we need Marcel, then I’ll be Marcel.”

Y/N’s throat went dry once more as she stared at Reiner in fear, her hands shaking at her sides.

“Please, stop this…” Bertholdt muttered, tears falling from his eyes as he watched.

“This is the only way we’ll be able to go back home!” Reiner kept his grip on Annie. “Let’s go back… together… to our hometown!”

[smellsfaintlyofvanilla]

Hello omg, can I request Sasha with a warrior S/O? Like reader came with Annie, Reiner, and Bertholdt on their mission and during Reiner and Bertholdt’s reveal, she reveals herself too? UAUAUA it can be angst or whatever you prefer 🥺❤️

I gave the reader the Warhammer titan btw cause it’s my favorite akdkakfkd

Also, it’s a little long, but that’s just ‘cause I wrote out the whole warrior reveal in word form, and it’s longer than I remember lol

With You

(Sasha Braus x Reader)

AU: Canon, slightly divergent

Warnings: Gore/graphic description of injury, season 3 spoilers, slight season 4 spoilers

Genre: Angst

Summary: Following the battle at Utgard castle, Reiner stops to have a chat with Eren, and reveals that he, Bertholdt, and Sasha’s s/o are all titan shifters, right in front of Sasha.

Words: 3.9K

-------

You had no time to process what had happened. Ymir was a titan, Christa was Historia, and Zeke has finally made his appearance.

You sighed and leaned against the rope tethers of the pulley system, regaining your bearings on the platform as you were pulled up and over the wall. The battle of Utgard castle had been tough—and many secrets were uncovered.

So, Ymir was the titan that ate Marcel all those years ago... You recounted in your head, sighing as you held your face in your palms. And now Zeke is here. We must’ve been too long without any sign of progress. We’re in big trouble. If we get back without Annie and Eren, it’ll be all over for us. Magath is gonna—

“Y/n!” A cheery voice brought you out of your slump, and you looked over your shoulder to see Sasha standing behind you, an arm outstretched as an offering of help.

You smiled at the sight of your girlfriend, and you slowly rose from your spot on the makeshift elevator, taking her hand and pulling yourself up onto the wall. “Thanks, Sasha.”

As soon as you stood up straight, Sasha lunged at you and wrapped her arms around your shoulders, lifting her feet off of the ground as you leaned all of her body weight onto you.

“I’m so glad you’re okay...! I was so worried!” She buried her face in your neck as she spoke, and you wrapped your arms around her lower back, putting your hands on her butt as support so she could wrap her legs around your waist.

You giggled at her, cuddling closer into her embrace. “I’m alright, I’m okay. There’s no need to worry.”

“I know, but I heard that you and your squad got held up at Utgard castle overnight in the middle of a titan horde, and when we finally got there and saw the tower collapsed, I was so scared! I... I—!” She cried into your neck as you moved a hand to rub small circles on her back.

“I know, I know, but we’re okay now. We had a bit of...” You glanced to the left. Ymir lay unconscious and steaming in the stretcher, a distressed Historia leaning over her and brushing strands of brown locks out of her face. “Unexpected help.”

“Mhm...” She mumbled, leaning into you for support. You stayed like this in silence for a while, enjoying each other’s presence after so long of being separated.

“Hey, lovebirds!” A loud shout caught your attention, and both you and Sasha turned to the source; Connie. “Save that stuff for the dorms! We still have stuff to do!”

“Right...” Sasha muttered, climbing off of you and running towards Connie, helping him haul terrified soldiers over the wall.

You stared in admiration for only a brief moment before your attention turned to your comrades, Reiner and Bertholdt. Reiner’s arm was wrapped up in the torn cloth of Historia’s skirt, and Bertholdt was close by, the two of them standing in a solemn, heavy silence.

You approached them quietly, taking a seat next to Reiner. Neither of you said anything. The sudden appearance of the beast titan, or rather, Zeke, had shaken you all. You had been gone for years, and gave no sign of retrieving the Founding Titan. Not only that, but you had lost Marcel and Annie. No matter what, the situation wasn’t going to end smoothly for you three.

To the right, many of the Scouts had gathered around a blonde Garrison soldier. Hannes—his name popped into your mind, as Eren had mentioned him before, while in the 104th. He seemed to be disclosing something to the others, and they looked on with mixed expressions.

“Do you think this has something to do with Zeke?” You questioned. Reiner kept his face buried in his palm, and Bertholdt turned to you with a sigh.

“Most likely.” The tall man answered. “I mean, we saw him. He’s clearly here. He must be doing something with his spinal fluid. Speeding up the process, perhaps.” He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists in anxiety, eyes wide. “We’re in deep shit.”

You didn’t respond to him verbally, offering only a huff in solemn agreement.

The group of soldiers disbanded, though many branched of into separate conversations of worry, wonder, and resentment. As they walked off, Reiner stood up suddenly, eyes still fixated on the ground.

“Eren.” He called out, drawing the attention of the shorter man. “We should talk. You got a moment?”

“Sure, I guess.” He sighed, walking over. You and Bertholdt shared confused and concerned looks. The two of you had long noticed that Reiner had gone a bit off the deep end since arriving at Paradis, so you were wary of what he might say or do next.

“Five years ago, we compromised Wall Maria and launched an attack on humanity.” He spoke, turning his back to Eren, hanging his head in defeat. You looked at Bertholdt, and he mirrored your emotion. Panic.

“I’m the Armored Titan. He’s the Colossal.” He pointed his thumb in your direction when he spoke. “And she’s the Warhammer.”

“What are you talking about? Why are you telling him?” Bertholdt chocked out quietly.

“Reiner!” You whispered sharply, venom dripping from your tone. The three of you had done such a careful job keeping your identities secret from the others, and Reiner just spilled all of it. There was no going back from this.

“We were on a mission.” He continued.

“Stop!” Bertholdt pleaded, but Reiner didn’t waver.

“Our goal was to ensure mankind’s extinction. But now, there’s no need for that. Eren,” He turned to face the shocked and confused boy to his side. “If you want the walls to remain standing, it’s simple. Just come with Bertholdt, Y/n, and me. Do you understand?”

A good look to your left proved that he did not, in fact, understand.

“Understand? What the hell is there to understand?!” He shouted, drawing the attention of a few soldiers. Mikasa stood protectively a short distance away, and Sasha, with her impeccable hearing, turned to face the scene as well. The two of you made eye contact, and your distress must have been evident even at such a distance, because her eyes widened, and she started to make her way over with concern and confusion.

“Listen to me.” To your and Bertholdt’s horror, Reiner kept speaking. “I need you to do exactly as I say. Look, I know this is sudden, but we have to go.”

“Right now?” He exclaimed. “Where would you take me?”

“I can’t tell you. Not yet.” Internally, you started to collect yourself. This wasn’t ending quietly. Bloodshed was dreadfully immanent. “Just think of it as our hometown.” Your eyes widened. He’s just gonna ask Eren? You thought, astounded. After all this, he really thinks Eren is just gonna follow us? What is he thinking?!

“Okay? So what’s it gonna be? Not a bad deal, right? The chance to avert a major crisis?”

“I’m not so sure...” He muttered. You were surprised he didn’t have a stronger reaction, especially for someone as fiery as him. Perhaps he was still in shock, or denial. Either way, they were teetering on the edge of battle, even if you and Bertholdt were the only ones to sense it.

“You guys!” Armin shouted, waving to capture the attention of you, Bertholdt, Reiner, and Eren. “Get a move on, we’re heading out!” Despite that, Sasha pushed right past him, closing in to the conversation, standing still now that she was in earshot. Mikasa was to her left, watching Eren with a dangerously protection glare.

Eren closed his eyes, taking in a deep sigh. It felt as if, for a moment, the world stood still. Damn it, he thought, I didn’t want to believe it...

A distant memory flashed through his head. When Annie had been found out, they had discussed the possibility of Reiner, Bertholdt, and Y/n also being shifters, but they didn’t have proof. Was it really so simple, though?

He opened his eyes and placed a firm hand on Reiner’s shoulder. “You’re just tired. That’s it, right? Help me out here Bertholdt, Y/n. Your nerves are shot. You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“U-Uh, yeah.” Bertholdt fumbled. “It’s the battle fatigue talking!”

“Yeah!” You reaffirmed, luckily being able to exude more confidence than Bertholdt. “You’re just tired. After everything that just happened, I can’t blame you.” You laughed nervously, praying no one saw through your bluff.

“It’s okay, you’re okay.” Between your bluff, and his shock, Eren took the bait. “If you really were the Armored Titan, what’s the endgame here? We wouldn’t be having this conversation in the first place. What’d you expect me to do? Say yes? Let myself be kidnapped just ‘cause you asked politely?” Somehow, you found yourself agreeing with Eren on that last one.

Despite Eren’s nonchalant response, a dead silence overtook the air, and Sasha found it as her cue to step forward.

“Y/n? What’s going on here?” She placed a hand on your shoulder, but as soon as she did, you looked back. She gasped at the sight. You looked petrified.

“Right. Not thinking straight, am I?” He finally gave up his ploy, wide-eyed and sweating bullets. “Barely know what I’m saying here. Must’ve gone off the deep end.”

Eren turned his back to the three of you. “C’mon, let’s go.”

Deafening silence and still air ensued. You did not move. The clouds cleared, and rays of sun shone down on the stone beneath your feet.

“That’s the problem.” Reiner shook. He chuckled, and shadows covered his face. You’d never seen him like this before.

“I’ve been here too long for my own good. Three years of this madness, surrounded by idiots. We were kids. What’d we know about anything?”

You couldn’t help but agree with Reiner on that one. You didn’t want to become a warrior, none of you did. If you knew the atrocities you had to commit in order to have the essence of a warrior, the idea would’ve never crossed your mind.

“Why did there have to be people like this.” He choked, tears pricking his eyes and mouth spread into a wide, ugly frown. “Why? Why did I let myself devolve into such a half-assed piece of shit?”

“It’s too late now.” He lifted his arm out of the cast makeshift cast, and held his arm up, showing the red and bloody bite mark. “Damned if I know what’s right anymore! Who cares? It is what it is. No choice but to face what I’ve done! As a warrior.”

His arm steamed, and shortly after, the skin closed up, blood drying and appearing as if he’d never been injured from the get-go.

“No road left but the one that leads to the end!” He screamed. Eren’s eyes widened as he gasped. He finally understood.

“Reiner! Right now? Here?” Bertholdt yelled back, prepared for anything, despite the beads of sweat that rolled down his face.

“We’re really doing this?!” You echoed, and Sasha looked on with a horrified expression.

“Yes. Right here, right now!” He commanded, marching towards Eren. “We settle this once and for all!”

Mikasa appeared out of nothing in a fraction of second, blades drawn and mind set on murder. She swung her blade at Reiner, who put up his hand defensively as the blade split his hand in half from his fingers all the way to his wrist. She spun around in an instant, and her blade cleanly slashed right across Bertholdt’s neck, who fell to the ground screaming and holding his throat.

He eyes were set on you, and an underhanded swing of her blade slashed a line right across your face. Blood immediately clouded your vision, and you groaned in pain as you were sure you had lost an eye.

She charged at you, determined to finish the job, but her sprint was interrupted by Sasha, who tackled Mikasa at full force, and the sword tumbled out of her grasp as Sasha pinned her down.

“Sasha!” She struggled. “Sasha, move! What are you doing?!” She tried to get up, but Sasha managed to overpower her momentarily, keeping her firmly on the ground.

“MIKASA STOP! PLEASE!” She pleaded at the top of her lungs. Rationally, she knew you were the enemy now, but she’d be damned if she let you die here, after everything the two of you had been through.

“Sasha, you can’t—!”

“I DON’T CARE!” She screamed. “YOU AREN’T GONNA HURT HER!”

Mikasa took quick advantage of Sasha’s emotional state and hurled her off, and she tumbled into a heap a few feet away. With little hesitation, Mikasa reequipped her blades.

But it was too late.

“Bertholdt! Y/n!” Reiner barked, lighting already manifesting around him.

The two of you looked at each other with horrified understanding, and prepared your own transformations.

Sparks of electricity surrounded you, and panic filled adrenaline exploded into flesh. Limbs shot out around you, plus the familiar hardened skin of the Armored, the skinless muscle of the Colossal, and the cloudy white body of your own titan.

Seconds passed, albeit one’s that felt like centuries, and you finally opened your eyes. You stood tall on top of the wall; 15 meters high. To your right, Reiner. And behind him was Bertholdt. Only half formed due to the space, and his lower body ceased to exist. Ribs shot out and dug into the stone, and powerful gusts of steam shot off of his body.

The terrified pawns on the wall stared up at you, mouths agape. But the shock didn’t last long.

The hurricane of steam that came off of Bertholdt started to throw things around, and those who didn’t make quick use of their ODM gear were sent flying. One of those figures, Eren, was quickly swept up by Reiner in the chaos.

It was no use, though. That’s why you weren’t surprised in the slightest when he bit his hand and sparks flew, his transformation queued by a guttural scream of rage.

“Damn you... YOU TRAITORS!”

The Attack Titan formed in Reiner’s hand, fist already drawn back and preparing a strike to Reiner.

In a fraction of a second, you formed a large hammer—your namesake weapon—from hardened titan skin, raising it into the air with a passionate battle cry.

The hammer struck Eren in his flank, and he flew abruptly to the left. You shot Reiner a look, and he looked down in understanding, drawing his arms back in preparation for a charge.

Eren had stood up by the time Reiner had started his charge, and immediately braced for impact—he didn’t have the time to move.

Reiner collided with Eren, and knocked him to the ground effortlessly, his greater size and weight being of good use.

The two wrestled on the ground, and you hesitated to intervene. After all, your weapon was powerful, but imprecise. You couldn’t risk accidentally hitting Reiner. Instead, you turned around, assessing the situation on the wall, where Bertholdt had been unceremoniously shackled.

It seemed no one was brave enough—or rather, stupid enough—to approach the colossal in it’s torrid state, and you didn’t know if you should be frustrated or grateful.

But, out of the corner of your eye, a figure swung. Your eyes widened slightly in amusement as ODM gear shot from tree to tree, approaching you at in impressive speed. Hmph. Guess someone is stupid enough after all. You thought.

You were about to swipe them away without a second thought, but you faltered at the sight of auburn brown hair, loosely tied into a familiar ponytail.

You must’ve gotten a little distracted by the sight, because you were suddenly brought back to attention by the figure landing on your shoulder, the hooks of their ODM gear digging into your shoulder, which you assumed were used as leverage mere seconds ago.

You turned your massive head to look at it, and you saw the figure gasp and tremble at the sight. Sometimes, you forgot how terrifying your titan was. But you perked up for a moment, brought out of your violent trance by a familiar face.

“Y/N!” It was Sasha. “Y/n, what is going on here?!”

You opened your mouth to respond, and it came out in a gravely, deep tone because of your titan form. “Sasha...?”

She released the grapples of her ODM to run up and hug your neck—the best she could, that is, with your immense size.

“Y/n! Come on! Why didn’t you tell me! This... this isn’t you... tell me there’s a reason!!!” She screamed.

Turning back to observe Eren and Reiner’s struggle, you sighed internally. It was just like her to get too emotional in a situation like this.

You turned back to Sasha with a sad look in your eyes. Carefully, you brought your hand up to pinch the hood of her Scout jacket, lifting her and placing her back down on top of the wall.

Slowly, you crouched down to her level, meeting her eye to eye despite the pain it caused you to see the heartbroken look in her eyes. Your hand curled around her back to support her, the only kind of pseudo-hug you could give at the moment. Your thumb gently made its way to the top of her head, and you moved it down slowly to caress her head. Tears streamed down her face, the internal conflict being far too much for her to bear.

But a sudden mass to your lower back brought you out of your intimate moment with her. Pain shot up through your body as you felt your back collide with the ground, and your eyes opened in horror. Eren had somehow managed to best Reiner in their scrimmage—and he was after you now.

You started to form the base of your hammer in your hands once again, but a forceful punch to your jaw stopped it’s formation out of the shock and pain.

Another fist made it’s way to your face—and another, and another, and another. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you could hear noises. Roaring, growling, and, the loudest of them all, screaming. Though, in your state, you couldn’t discern if it was even you or not.

Eren delivered his last punch with a frightening roar of passion, and your neck twisted at an unnatural angle as your head snapped off the titan body with a horrid, bone-grinding sound.

Your battered body fell out of the nape of the titan, using what was left of your strength to emerge at the last second. It was all you had in you, though, and the last thing you heard was your own heavy breathing and distant shouting as your vision started to vade.

Eren stood up tall, towering over your unconscious body, raising his fists in the air with a triumphant roar of victory, the cheers of soldiers filling the air.

Filled with adrenaline and ego, he picked up your limp body in his hand, dangling your body over his already opened mouth.

He was going to eat the Warhammer—right here, right now.

That is, until a foreboding cracking noise brought his attention away from you. It took a few seconds for him to locate the source. The Colossal Titan.

It’s bones snapped and ground against one another, it’s massive body slowly shifting like a collapsing skyscraper. It twisted, turned, and groaned until it slowly lost it’s iron grip on the wall—and it was heading straight for Eren.

It’s body collided with Eren, and the force of the impact was comparable to that of an earthquake. Smoke rose from the ground as dirt was upended, trees crackling and snapping as chunks of rock flew up and around from the impact area.

The force of the impact sent you flying through the air. It didn’t take any hesitation, though, for your girlfriend to go flying through the air, catching your bloody body in her arms and wrapping herself around you to keep you safe as she hit the ground and slid against the dirt.

She groaned audibly from the pain, gritting her teeth in a feeble attempt to numb the painful sensations. But, her pain suddenly subsided when she laid eyes on you.

Your lower half had been all but obliterated. Your legs were completely crushed and squeezed out like an old container of toothpaste, and blood gushed from your stomach. She tried in vain to ignore the sight of your snapped bones twisting at odd angles and protruding through your skin.

Panicked, she brought an ear to your chest, desperately searching for that steady rhythm of life beating in your chest.

She had never taken a deeper sigh of relief than she did now, overjoyed at the slow heartbeat you clung onto. It was weak, yes, but you were still here. With her. That’s all that mattered.

Steam slowly rose from your stomach as your body attempted to heal your wounds. Even in a situation like this, your body managed to find the strength to start recovering.

She cradled your body to her chest, sobbing out in both relief and distress as you bled out onto her. Her clothes were already stained red, and her hands were sticky with morbid crimson, but she didn’t care. She held you close, as close as you could possibly be without her physically crushing you, catching her breath and calming herself to the sound of your shallow breaths.

It was a short-lived moment, though, as a dark shadow suddenly covered the ground, and Sasha froze with fear with you in her arms. By the shadow alone, it was impossible to tell if it was Eren or Reiner, and she didn’t want to check. She curled around you, crying quietly in preparation of getting crushed.

But it didn’t happen. A large finger instead placed itself on Sasha’s shoulder, pushing her out of the way to observe your injured state. Her body trembled fearfully as she turned to face it, and was met with the Armored Titan.

She wasn’t sure what to expect next, really. It could’ve crushed her like an ant and ran away with you, or worse, separated her and run off with just you.

She didn’t want to be apart from you. Even if it made her a terrible soldier, even if it made her treasonous, dishonorable, and irredeemable, she would stick with you, no matter whose side you were on. Right or wrong, she was staying with you.

Reiner hesitated for a moment. He couldn’t just bring a Paradis soldier back, it would be a huge problem down the line. But, his eyes glanced to you. He was certain that if he left Sasha there without you, you would never have forgiven him.

So, he cut his losses and gently scooped the two of you up in his hand, holding you and her close to his chest as he started running—god knows where to. She caught a glimpse of a Bertholdt in his other hand, as well as Ymir, still unconscious and strapped to her stretcher.

And Eren. Somehow, Reiner had the severely injured and incapacitated shifter quite literally in the palm of his hand.

Sasha knew that once people slowly started waking up, the fighting would only continue, but she savored this moment. Even if you were bleeding and hurt, your face looked peaceful. As odd as it sounded, she felt content with you in this moment.

As Reiner ran further and further from the wall, Sasha glanced over his shoulder, watching as the faces of her former comrades as they faded into the background.

I wish somebody cared for me the way Sasha cares about Y/n in this fic lmaooo

[colossal-fallout]

First kiss 💋

With Reiner Braun

Notes: SFW. Smut of the smuttiest. More fluff than a prancing kitten. It switches between she/you/yn a lot I just edited it from a previous piece I'd made a little while ago and mobile Tumblr isn't the best for my fat thumbs.

As soon as my computer is fixed I'll tidy it up ✌️

It's year three of the cadets. Reiner finally has you all to himself as you browse the market stalls in the quaint town of the Trost District.

But a summer shower quickly dampens his already low spirits, knowing these feelings for you are strictly forbidden...

As the sky began to darken over Trost, Reiner glanced up at the gathering clouds and wondered if he should call it a day. He was reluctant to; it wasn’t very often he got to have you all to himself.

His golden eyes glanced at y/n as she pondered over the stall she was standing at – the vendor excited to show the wares. His eyes then fell to the pavement under his feet. She looked gorgeous as usual. Her white dress hugged her curves and it flowed right down to just above her ankles. He’d noticed the glances she gotten from men, of course he did. He also noticed the second looks he had gotten.

Eyes filled with envy.

Those men thought you were a couple and Reiner secretly loved it. What he wouldn’t give for that to be true.

“Reiner?” Your soft voice called out, snapping his attention.

“What do you think of these gloves for Mikasa? They’d definitely help with her training.”

Sweet y/n.

Whenever she had spare money, she would spend it on her friends. Mikasa had been getting blisters from her pairing blade hilts. They’d joked she takes out her frustration towards Eren’s behaviour out on her grip; pretending they were his neck.

“Uh, yeah. I think they’ll come in handy, sure.” He replied half dazed.

“Everything okay?” she asked as she handed the salesperson the cash. “You seem a bit out of it.”

He instantly pulled up his usual facade. “Me? I’m fine. Looks like it’s going to rain though. We should head back.”

“Okay.” She smiled slightly, taking the paper bag with the leather gloves inside. They began to walk down the street back towards the barracks.

He silently kicked himself.

He wanted to take each step as slowly as possible, trying to wring out as much alone time as he could.

When did it get so bad?

If she didn’t have her swarm of friends around her constantly, and Bertolt didn’t act as his shadow maybe he wouldn’t be so desperate to be alone with her in the first place.

Why did he even want that though?

He wasn’t dense. He knew he had a soft spot for her and despite his best friend’s warnings, he ignored his advice to stay away. It got worse and worse like an neglected cavity in a tooth. The longer he left it, the deeper she bore into him. He wondered if the pain of a toothache would be better than this constant yearning to be near her.

When did he become so pathetic? When did he become so... weak?

Reiner Braun was the strongest male in the 104th with the highest grades. Dedicated. Focused. Yet this H/C'd girl walking beside him with her sparkling e/c eyes could easily bring him to his knees.

He’d gone through the implications in his head over and over. His friends from back home wouldn’t approve. It’s not like they didn’t like y/n... In fact he was surprised how well she got along with them.

It was because they didn’t join cadets to fool around with beautiful women.

They were there to return home. Home... He wondered what his family would think of her. That was when he shook his head.

No.

There wasn’t any use in going down that trail.

“Oh no...” y/n winced as fat rain drops began to fall from the swollen clouds.

It was a summer day so they didn’t think to bring a jacket. In fact, none of their friends earlier had been wearing one.

Within seconds the heavy drops were crashing down all around them, people ran for cover and merchants began to hurriedly set up a canopy over their goods.

Reiner grabbed her wrist and began to run.

“Summer shower.” He explained. “It won’t last long, but it’ll be a soaker.” . Women around them let out a squeal as a loud rumble of thunder echoed out over the town. Puddles were already forming as Reiner hurriedly led her down the clearing street. As they ran, water splashed around their ankles from collecting on the road.

With his free hand, he began undoing the buttons on his shirt.

“What are you doing?!” you called out over the loud crashing of water. “You’ll catch your death!” By the time she uttered the last word of her sentence he whipped around and lay his large shirt over her head before returning to pull her along.

“Dont want that pretty dress to be ruined, do we?” he joked, yet his face stayed serious. “Reiner...” you whispered in awe, inaudible due to the rain.

Not long after, you'd reached the stables where the transport horses were kept. It was deserted, being the cadets weekend off and were carting the soldiers to their home towns for the next couple of days.

Reiner pushed open the large wooden door of the hay storage barn, before ushering you inside.

“Are you crazy?” you laughed once they were tucked in away from the downpour.

Beads of rain rolled down his bare flesh, trailing down his pronounced pectorals and solid abs.

Reiner shrugged. “Didn’t want you getting cold and wet.”

Your eyes softened gorgeously as he turned to rub his hand over his hair, getting excess droplets off him.

His back muscles flexed with every small movement before he turned back around, Goosebumps raising on his skin and his nipples hardening from the chill.

The barn was filled with the relaxing sounds of the heavy pattering of rain on the wooden roof above their heads. This was the side of Reiner you'd been waiting to see.

You knew he had it in him, underneath the crude jokes and the flirting attempts. He was a gentleman through and through. He just liked to hide it for whatever reasons she didn’t know.

His shirt was warm and his scent rolled off it into her nose.

You hadn’t realised how much you actually enjoyed his smell until now. It sent waves of comfort over you, like the smell alone was his big strong arms wrapping around your body, ensuring your safety and comfort.

Yes.

You'd decided.

You had been pondering on your feelings towards your classmate for a little while now and wanted to be sure. The torment of professionalism as well as distractions from training had been hanging over your head.

But there was just something about him that you was pulled to.

He jumped a little when you placed your soft hand gently on his forearm. The skin across the bridge of his nose and under his eyes instantly heated up, turning a hue of pink.

You were so close to him and he got what he always yearns for – for your skin to be touching his.

The next thing he knew you were reaching up and planting a tender kiss on his cheek.

The breath caught in his throat and that pinkness burned more brightly. Every muscle in his body tensed and his eyes enlarged slightly. But what really sent his chest thudding was when you pulled the kiss away.

You kept your face close to his, now bearing the same pink hue. Your gorgeous eyes glistened, long lashes framing them beautifully. You smiled adorably, pulling at his shirt that was now draped across your shoulders.

“Thank you...”

Y/N spoke softly, her hair a little messed up from the shirt but it just made her look even more beautiful.

“For what...?” he replied in a haze.

“Being you...”

Those last words penetrated straight through his macho exterior and felt like they pierced into his heart, injecting some sort of warm fluid that quickly spread across his entire chest.

He didn’t even think.

It was like he went on auto pilot and his instincts just took over.

Placing the side of his index finger under her chin, he tilted her head up slightly and closed the gap between them, gently pressing his lips against hers.

His heart smashed against his solid barrel chest as she kissed him back, her lips softer than he had ever imagined them to be.

She ran her hands up his shoulders and hung them, opening her mouth a little wider as they kissed, giving him full permission to explore her mouth.

He did so without hesitation.

Sliding his tongue passed her sweet lips, he entwined it with hers.

It felt like fireworks and explosion were going off around him and he thought he could see stars behind his closed eyelids.

Having her kissing him and getting to be this close and intimate with her was the best feeling he’d ever had.

The adrenaline was richer and sweeter than any fight he’d been in or any training exercise.

It just felt perfect.

It began to get heated pretty quickly as their pace quickened slightly, deep exhales leaving his nose and his brow became furrowed and desperate.

She truly did make him feel weak.

He handled her gently. Although he knew she was strong, it she also felt delicate, like his big lumbering body could break her at any moment.

Her fingers ran through his hair and she pressed up against him, his arms wrapping around her in a sweet embrace.

Although he thought he was the luckiest man alive to be able to kiss her, his body quickly began needing more of her.

He battled with it, keeping it under control and letting her now take the lead of the kiss.

She gently pulled his pouty bottom lip with her teeth, making it that much harder for him to not throw her down and lift up her dress.

Instead, he settled for a please grunt, his brows creasing deeper as he became hungrier.

She slowly pulled away.

He pressed his forehead against hers, unable to hide the dumb grin that spread across his face as he caressed her hair with his right hand.

“What’s with that goofy grin?” she joked quietly; her sweet breath warm on his face.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” He replied, his grin stretching further.

Smiling, she lowered her head almost shyly at that titbit of information.

She then fixed her eyes on his. “Really?”

“Of course...” he looked genuinely surprised. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

“Oh stop.” She laughed.

He took her hand and placed it on his bare chest over his rapid heartbeat. His honey eyes not removing their gaze from hers. “I swear.”

She didn’t know what to say.

“Well, you have awful taste.” Was what she settled for.

But having Reiner Braun, of whom didn’t really catch her eye at first, now she’d gotten to know him was extremely attractive; his chest bare and holding her close like this set a burning desire deep within her.

One that she would have to keep under control.

...For now.

She gently placed her hand on his jawline before replacing her mouth onto his.

He let out a small unintentional exhale from his nose, more than happy to slide his warm tongue back inside of her.

Her hands gently caressed his broad shoulders, her pace quickening and her teeth grazing his lip.

She didn’t want to let things get too heated too quickly, but battling her urges seemed like an uphill battle. He’d grown on her a hell of a lot over the last three years and having him hold her like this felt amazing.

As Reiner kissed her, he pushed away the little voice inside of his head that was telling him this was all a big mistake and he had just complicated things massively.

He didn’t care.

His feelings for her had always surpassed the doubts that swirled around in his mind. And now, knowing she had some reciprocating feelings it was incomprehensible that he would now turn his back on her.

He grazed his hand lightly up her arm as he slowly and almost gracefully devoured the inside of her mouth. Her skin was the softest thing he’d ever touched like some fine silk from a faraway land. He almost felt like he was ruining her just by having his unworthy hands upon her flesh.

She pulled away once again and he sealed their kiss with another gently peck.

“This is crazy...” she sighed taking a step back. “We’re training to be soldiers.”

“I know how you feel, believe me.” He muttered, a frown tugging at his mouth. “But I think life’s a little too short to be putting good things on the back burner.”

She pondered on that for a moment.

He began to feel desperate. Now that he had her affections within his grasp, he wasn’t about to let them slip through his fingers.

“I mean...” he took a step forward and held her hand into his large pair. “I know I joke around a lot but you...”

He paused for a moment, choosing his words.

“I didn’t kiss you with the intention of just having you then leaving. ...I want us to be together. Properly. Hell, if we weren’t in Cadets, I would be asking you to marry me right now.”

That blushing hue returned to his face as he shyly looked away, not used to spilling out his feelings like this.

But the humiliation and discomfort would be worth it if he managed to gain her as his own.

Again... When did I get so weak?

She did a better job than he at hiding the grin that was threatening to spread across her face.

Instead, her face matched his reddening tone.

“Are you saying... You love me, Reiner Braun?” she spoke softly.

He pushed away every instinct that told him to run and hide.

“Yeah. As a matter of fact, I am.” He replied steadily.

Now it was her turn to ignore her instincts to run.

“R-Reiner. It’s not that I don’t care for you too, I do. But... Ah, it’s complicated.” She grimaced. “I don’t know when.. uh... I’ll be ready to...” her face was almost glowing at this point.

“Hey hey...” he soothed. “Its okay. I love you. I don’t care about waiting.” His face returned to the familiar serious soldier expression she was so used to seeing during training. “Even if you’d wanna wait until after marriage. I don’t mind.”

She squirmed uncomfortably. “Its not that. Maybe we can talk about it... Another time?”

It perplexed him but he didn’t mind. “Of course.”

She breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

“So...?” He melted back into that cheeky smirk.

The classic Reiner grin. Mischievous and cunning.

“You wanna give this a shot?”

Y/N noticed the rain had slowed to a stop, the clouds had moved on and the sun was shining once again.

She’d known Reiner now for almost two years. Spent every single day pretty much in his presence. They’d worked together, laughed together and well... Now this.

She reminded herself how strong that urge was to kiss him only minutes ago. Why she initiated closeness in the first place. Her mind fluttered through the pages of her recent memories and how he had been making her feel these days and how her eyes have been lingering upon him a little longer than she’d like.

She let out a sigh before smirking back at him. “Sure. But don’t get comfortable now. Just because you have me doesn’t mean you can start slacking your charm.”

She playfully pushed his cheeks together with her index and thumb, resulting in a chuckle rumble from his broad chest.

“I swear it.” He grinned, kissing her.

“Come on. We’d better head back.” She smiled, handing him back his shirt.

[lettherebemonsters]

Having anything resembling a candid conversation with Ymir, that didn’t include snide remarks and petty jabs, was … a relatively foreign concept to Cyrica, in all the time she had known her during their days in the Corps. And that wasn’t necessarily for one-sided reasons, either. Both of them had always been equally abrasive in their socializing, simply as a matter of course. Granted, Cyrica’s own reasons for doing so were a bit more complex … but the end result was the same–neither of the women was ever very well-liked among their peers. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Ymir had Historia throughout it all, despite her rough demeanor. A fact that never failed to dumbfound Cyrica, any which way she thought about it. Maybe Historia had merely sensed the ‘real’ Ymir sitting beneath that prickly exterior, which she herself was only just now catching a glimpse of. She sighed softly, combing her nails through her hair thoughtfully as she weighed the other woman’s words. “Well, see … that’s the thing. I never even really knew Marcel. Hell, at the time I didn’t know any of them, apart from the fact they were titan shifters loyal to Marley. And back then, that made them all my enemies.” There was a twinge of something resembling shame as Cyrica paused, adding with no small amount of hesitation, “Truth is … I was kinda glad when I saw you eat him, fucked up as that sounds. All it meant to me at the time was one less Marleyan spy to have to work against. But understanding the truth of all their situations now … well … it’s given me a different point of view.” She lifted her gaze back up to Ymir with a half-hearted smile. “Even so? I still don’t fault you for what happened. You were basically an animal at that point, running purely on instinct. You’re being too hard on yourself.”

@eldian-siren​

Hard to believe that just a short time before she was free. Swinging in the trees, or laughing with Historia.....poking jabs at the recruits who thought they were tough shit that could take on anything.

Compared to what she had seen in the past, it had been almost.....paradise.

But now her world had crashed and she was now back in the place that had sentenced her to die for no fault of her own. All because she was made to think she was a god.....a god among godless men.

“......You wanna know the truth? I lied. I told these guys I didn’t remember who I ate to....be able to be free again. But that wasn’t true. I see weird things when I close my eyes.

Like I’m seeing life through someone else’s eyes. I knew I recognized them somehow....”

She had sworn up and down that she’d only live for herself. Screw everyone, she deserved a life after everything she went through. Who cared if a nobody got eaten just so she could be free again?

There were a ton of faceless people eaten every day. One more wouldn’t count!

Except....this one did. She could see that now....even waking up after years in a nightmare she could feel pain and fear and terror.....terror that wasn’t hers. The memory of a terrified little blonde boy, being pushed away. Huge eyes wide as he watched someone be devoured alive....

Now when she saw the kid.....she saw Reiner. Reiner, everyone’s best friend. The guy she sensed something off about. Reiner....the guy who now lost everything, and returned home in disgrace.

“.......I remember seeing a blonde kid just.....staring at me. Like he couldn’t move. I remember teeth closing in around me as I just kept feeling guilt. I didn’t know why.....but I know now....”

Oddly enough....she almost felt a kinship to the holder of the armored Titan. They were both going back outcasts, betraying their real home for a place that would kill them. Her faster than him.....she knew her time was limited.

“ I guess saying I’m sorry won’t cut it. Especially after......what happened to his boyfriend.....”

[mazuwii]

Name: Sudden Meltdown You= Y/N Ackerman College AU

Fast forward two lessons and I was sitting in the stuffed cafeteria with a fat cake on my plate, trying my hardest to ignore every chaotic thing going on in the huge round hall by chewing on more than I could possibly handle.

"Uh oh, she's stuffing her mouth, why are you mad?" Pieck nudged me. I had no choice but to groan and roll my eyes. Porco and Zeke were sat in front of us, already knowing why I was irritated. "She won't shut the fuck up for one damn second," I mumbled, my gaze averted to Historia standing on the table, barking out bullshit.

Reiner and Annie let out a scoff in sync, both keeping their focus on their phones. Bertholdt laughed awkwardly and played with his fork. "It'll die down soon." He said.

"No, does she think she's some kind of main character or something? Her standing on the table and giving a speech about violence isn't going to stop Eren and Jean fighting like two petty drag queens." I rolled my eyes and continued. "If it did work then they would have stopped arguing by now."

"I'm surprised you haven't gotten used to it." Yelena sat across Pieck and I with her usually half-empty tray. "No, everyone secretly finds it cringe, I can't be the only one."

"Mmm, I don't know Y/N, it seems like you are," Zeke smirked and slightly leaned out of the way. Suddenly, students from our class clapping for her came into my already crimson view. "I just want to drop-kick her damn it." I stabbed the cake, earning a tissue rubbing against my mouth and cheeks.

"Not while looking like a baby who can't feed themselves," Pieck said, wiping the corners. All of our friends chortled as she treated me like a child. "What a supportive friend you are(!)" I sighed and took my earphones out of my backpack so I could block out the blonde's agitating voice.

Why was I getting so mad? I had no idea. Perhaps it was because her words were so repetitive and held no meaning to them. "Maybe you're jealous." Porco smugly said. I responded with a growl. "Of what?"

"I don't know, the fact that almost every guy has had a crush on her or that she's prom queen every year or you aren't as feminine as her or maybe"-

"Shut up. I get it." I grunted, stubbornly crossing my arms and glaring away from everyone. "Don't talk with your mouth open, Pocco."

"Don't tell me what to do! Peepee!"

Ignoring Pieck and Porco, my weakened glower settled on Reiner, who was boringly drinking water, leaning against the chair like a careless kid at a boring lecture. "Rei?" He suddenly stopped drinking, his eyes dragging to me creepily. He hummed with his cheeks full of liquid.

"You okay? I never see you eating nowadays." This was a better subject to start rather than that annoying short drama queen. The tall man grinned sheepishly and shook his head. "I ate too much in the morning so I don't have an appetite right now."

"I don't believe that, you aren't as beefy as you used to be," I snickered, squinting my eyes at him. "I bet Porco must be so happy now." Zeke abruptly said to himself. Our attention darted towards the bearded guy, making him look up and proceed. "He's jealous of Reiner's boobs and tries to grow his"-

"What?! Pfft no, I don't! Where d-did you get that from!?"

"Read it in your diary."

Porco began his usual rampage on privacy and why having Zeke as a roommate was like sharing with an obnoxious monkey, making us facepalm at the two. I turned towards Reiner who blushed slightly. I laughed and shook my head at how shy he could become.

By the time their argument turned into playful insults with Pieck and Yelena reacting to all their crappy comebacks, Bertholdt and Annie left the table with each other, in love as always. I got up from my seat and sat next to Reiner since the seat next to him was now empty.

"You know," He started, "You don't need to be jealous of Historia, you're just as good if not, better than her." The heat in my cheeks radiated my entire face. "At least to me," He added with a small smile, suddenly widening his eyes.

"Oh- sorry was that weird?" He laughed awkwardly. "Not at all, weirdo." I smiled at him, loving the view. How could Annie be staring at her phone when she had such perfection sitting next to her?

"Now come with me, let's both get some milk!" I snatched his hand and forced him up with me. He widened his eyes at how abrupt I was being, not having the heart to say no.

Reiner had some issues he never speaks about to people. He's amazing, the way he tries to heal his wounds by healing everyone else's. Out of all the questions I had, I'd have to ask him why. Why he covers his pain up by smiling, which technically is like adding wood to fire.

After taking a croissant and a cookie, I took him out to the benches on campus, no one really goes there now because it was raining in the morning.

Still, I threw my jacket on it and told him to sit down. Before he could decline, I pressed on his shoulders and forced him on it. The jacket was long enough for the both of us so I sat down right next to him.

"Reiner." I mumbled, biting into my cookie and shoving the croissant on his lap. "Y/N... I really"-

"Shut up and eat it, I'm sick of pretending to believe your lies."

His hand shook slightly and his lips quivered, turning his head away from me so that I wouldn't see. My heart shattered into a million pieces upon seeing him try to hide a cry.

"Rei..." I whispered, reaching for his slumped shoulder. "I'm just worried about you, we're besties aren't we?"

"Y/N... I don't deserve anything or anyone." He finally said. Despite the fact it was sad, at least he said something.

"No, please don't tell me this is how you've been thinking?" I bit my lip and remembered how he had PTSD and his room was all for himself, he had no roommate and stays in silence for the whole night, panicking with no one to help.

The silence he was giving me frustrated me more than it should, the fact that he wasn't saying anything about this. Judging by his weight loss it had been at least two weeks. "How long?" I asked carefully.

"Every night..." He finally looked at me. His usually golden, passion-filled eyes were dull with a spike of pain glistening in them. The corners bloodshot as he tried to contain the tears.

"You've been strong for too long, it's ok to cry..." I slithered my arm around his shoulders and gently laid his head against the crook of my neck. His shoulders shook and his breath was shaking as he finally let it out, sobbing into my neck.

From time to time, he'd let out a loud groan by accident, sniffling to lower his voice so that no one could hear but himself. "You matter so much to me, I swear to god, Rei." My fingers raked through his short blonde hair that had grown over time, my other hand rubbing his back.

"I want Reiner Braun. No one else." I told him, knowing why he was putting on the older brother impression all the time.

"He- He's nothing..."

"He's everything to me, why would you want to take away my everything?"

Suddenly, the sniffling stopped and the tears running down my neck halted at my sweater, soaking the collar. His face came into view when he sat up, gazing at me as if I had stated the craziest thing. His bronze pools switched from my left to my right pupil, drowning in my sincerity.

"You know how shit my days here would be without your dumb ass to flirt and make the most himbo jokes?" I giggled, my palm snaking up to his jaw and feeling his stubble gently prick my fingers as I caressed him.

Even though he hadn't said a word, I could only wish I made him feel better about himself because I had not only stated the truth, I exposed myself, my weakness. Although I don't show my appreciation as much as I should, I do need him, life would collapse without the idiot...

"Now, if you take my everything away from me, I'll despise you with every inch of my body," I said, melting when his hand laid on top of mine, leaning into my touch.

"That's not a lot of inches." He mumbled into my palm, making me lightly laugh. "Bastard." He weakly smirked at my playful insult.

"Come here." I sat on my knees so that I was higher than him and rested his head against my chest, my arms tight and secure around him.

"Mm..." I heard his muffled voice say, "Every time you hug me I feel so safe..." My heart skipped a beat, surely I wasn't supposed to hear that considering how low his voice was.

"You won't tell anyone... right?" He said, taking a deep breath in. I could sense him relaxing in my embrace, reassuring not only him but me.

"Of course not, let's just try and get you a break from school, a week should do it... right?" My hand rested on the back of his head even when he moved to face me.

"We have a lot of work for the school play though... the equipment needs building, who'll do the backstage lighting and help with props and what"-

"REI! Relax yourself, himbo. It's only a week."

"No."

"Reiiiii!" I whined, ignoring the thunder that had just struck. "Are you telling me you wouldn't want a week holiday with me?"

"I do, Y/N but we can't." He held onto my waist, careful not to squeeze my sides because he's well aware I'm ticklish there. "I can heal..."

My head unknowingly shook from side to side, "Rei you don't understand, I'm worried for you, healing by yourself... are you sure it'd work?" Silence...

Just as he was about to open his mouth, synced whistling broke our eye contact in the now heavy rain. Our gazes were met by the most annoying trio, Connie, Sasha and Jean wriggling their eyebrows at us. I heard Reiner uncomfortably sigh, cutting his breath off mid-way.

Abruptly, Jean began humming careless whisper out loud with his bothersome voice, Connie singing the lyrics with Sasha weirdly dancing in front of them as if they were in a ninja trio for matchmaking. "Tonight the music seems so LOUD! I WISH THAT WE COULD LOSE THIS CROWD! BABY! IT'S BETTER THIS WAY!"-

"You kids never shut up," We all flinched at the sudden appearance of Levi in the rain, standing proudly at his size. "First of all, it's 'maybe it's better this way', second of all your singing is so bad that the thunderstorm got worse, third of all, Braun and Ackerman, both of you get to class this is not a cheesy ass romance movie!"

Note:

Ok but Sasha Connie and Jean doing careless whisper is 100% canon, like it's too funny not to be true, I’m just chucking this into tumblr LMAO

[lady-lunaaa]

The Prison That is Grief

Pairing: Porco Galliard x GN!Reader

Rating: M, brief mention of sexual activity, 18+ only 

Word Count: 598

BIG OLD SPOILERS for the manga, so please do not read if you are not caught up.

TW: spoilers, mention of death, grief, very angsty, in fact it’s just pure pain 🙃 (I can’t help myself).

A/N: This is very self indulgent in the sense that it was just me sobbing at 3am while listening to Evanescence’s ‘My Immortal’ on repeat as I scribbled out all my pain so... you’re welcome. As always thank you to some absolutely wonderful, beautiful individuals for beta reading and continually supporting and encouraging me: @dabilove27​ @whats-her-quirk​ @pleasantanathema​ and @shadowworks​ 💙

Recommended song: link here and here

His face haunted your every waking moment, plagued your fitful sleep with nightmares, tormented your mind, body and soul.

Flashes of those innocently large orbs staring into your own with fervent adoration. Warm hazel irises flecked through with green and gold luminescence, captured in the rays of the pale morning light that streamed through the bedroom window. An impertinent sparkle always resided in their depths, paired with a dimpled smile just for you, always for you.

Impossibly plump, full lips protruded into a petulant pout when he did not get his way, when you would defend Reiner from his endless jabs and ceaseless temper. That bottom lip captured between his teeth when he sighed soft, sweet moans that set your desire ablaze and made you giddy. 

His slicked back hair was always so perfectly in place, except when he towered above you, caramel strands falling messily across his forehead as he came undone inside you, brows furrowed in ecstasy. 

That adorably upturned nose that offset his handsome features with a delicate grace, the same nose that triggered his insecurities, in fear of people calling him cute. Your response was always something sweet, a loving smile adorning your face, followed by a chaste kiss on the tip of that button nose.

That strong, sharp jaw that was always set determinedly, the very personification of his incessant drive that propelled him forward, never giving up.

The same jaw that allowed him to fight wars, destroy cities, erase lives.

The same jaw that gave him a purpose, brought pride to his nation, a false badge of honour that he wore because it was expected of him.

The same jaw that wiped away his own fleeting existence, swallowed down by the just yet indiscriminate throat of war. Gone in seconds, as if he never were and replaced by another, as if it meant nothing. As if he meant nothing.

But he did mean something, and to you he was simply, everything. He was the brilliant, beaming sun that brought warmth and light wherever he touched, the beautiful, radiant moon that brought you solace on cold, lonely nights. The solid earth beneath your feet that kept you grounded and connected to everyone and everything. He was life.

And now he was gone. And you could not fathom the harsh reality. You did not know how to cope with the cruel hand you had been dealt by the universe, in being allowed to experience a love so deep and profound before it was torn from you. So suddenly. It was unforgivable, unfair, cruel. 

And yet for all that you futilely wished he would come back to you, materialise at your door as if he never left, as if the last few torturous months had been but a fever dream. You also wished for release. The sweet release from his spectral presence that hung over you, antagonising you with bittersweet memories of your time together. Tearing at the already gaping cavity in your chest, raw pain dripping from a wound that was never allowed to heal. 

Even in death he had your heart. Gripped in ghostly talons, stolen away to whatever purgatory he now rotted in, leaving you with truly nothing. Leaving you empty. 

And yet for all that you missed him, so aggressively that it ripped from your throat in an anguished cry. Despite that you loved him still, so completely it consumed you and brought with it sharp, stinging tears that poured down your cheeks and pooled at your feet.

You still wished to be freed from the prison that was your grief. 

Thanks for reading!

[braunbakery]

salvation, maybe (i)

☞ reiner braun x reader [fem bodied] [chapter word count: 2.5k]

☞ sfw, angst, fluff, post-season 3 [after 4 year time jump], season 4 spoilers

☞ cross-posted on ao3 (very much ahead on ao3, just wanted to bring it to tumblr)

☞ fic plot: you have walked these streets many times before. you have passed this bench many times before. you have seen this man (lost in his thoughts, always drifting, always looking lost) many times before. but this time, this time you take a seat.

next

i. hero

the wind blows your long skirt against your legs as you make your way down the street, shoes tapping against the cobblestone of the ground. liberio is reasonably busy and you find yourself accidentally knocking shoulders with a multitude of people. the slightly chilly late morning air nips at the skin on your face and you instinctively wrap your jacket a little tighter around yourself, repeating the list of what you need to get in your head.

eventually, you reach the less populated part of the market street. you know that you don't really have any business being here - all of your necessities lie on the busier side of the street (probably all running out at this point, judging by the ever-increasing crowd.) but, you have become so accustomed to making your way to the quiet end of this street to see if he still sits on the bench in front of the broken fountain, slumped over and staring at his knees. sometimes, on sunnier days, his long off-white jacket is crumpled next to him. sometimes he is leaning back, his neck tilted back towards the sky and his arms tightly crossed across his broad chest.

but the constant remains, he is always here.

since he had returned from wherever the previous warrior mission had taken him, every morning he sat at this bench in such an obvious amount of distress that you wondered how come no one else ever said anything. did his comrades never take notice of his seemingly permanently furrowed brow, or his fists that somehow were always clenching and unclenching? or were they all also fighting their own battles, sitting on their own benches and being watched by their own strangers?

his name is reiner braun.

you know this name, everyone knows this name. everyone knows his close-cropped blonde hair, his broad build, his sullen face (you wonder if he only smiles on command). he and his comrades bring honour to liberio and offer an excuse to marley for why you and your neighbours deserve to live. you want to feel grateful and proud, but as you watch him stare mindlessly into the distance, hands absent-mindedly playing at his uniform collar, all you can feel is pity.

sometimes you feel yourself slowly gravitating towards him, your feet moving before your mind even realizes it. today is one of those days when his sorrow is contagious, radiating out of him and into you, and suddenly you really are moving. it has been almost a month since he has been coming to this bench and sitting in silence. it has been almost a month of you idly watching him, wondering if you should say anything. if there's anything you can even say. but, he is a soldier. if you don't act now, he will be whisked away to whatever new conflict marley has conveniently found themselves in. you just want to say something. anything.

and before you know it, you have somehow planted yourself a few inches away from him on the other side of the battered wooden bench. reiner shifts in his seat, but doesn't say a word. your thoughts are racing and you contemplate whether or not it's too late to back out now. whether or not you can sit in silence and pretend your feet were just tired and you needed a rest (despite the fact you have only been outside for all of fifteen minutes.) if you seemed as melancholy as he seems to you, would you want someone to offer you solace? to acknowledge your struggle? you don't know, you don't know, you don't know. and before you know it, words of no real value are tumbling out of your mouth.

"not too bad of a day, huh?" you awkwardly say, eyes flitting towards reiner quickly to see if he will acknowledge the stranger trying to making a conversation about the god damn weather. reiner shifts in his seat, his dazed stare cut short as his body slightly slowly turns towards you. he still doesn't actually look at you. but, to be fair, you still haven't actually looked at him.

"i suppose," he mumbles, looking around the street as another gust blows through liberio, sending papers flying into the air.

"it's a shame the fountain doesn't work. maybe it would've made the day a little better," you comment, your eyes glancing back at the battered fountain behind the bench. it is years old, the white stone now faded into different hues of brown and green, and vines hooking and wrapping their way all around the structure. you suspect that maybe it had never actually worked at all.

"maybe," reiner replies. his head turns towards you, watching you crane your neck behind you to see the fountain. secretly, you don't want to turn your head back and witness him probably ignore your efforts of conversation. can you blame him? he has seen war and has been through hell, from paradis to the endless conflict between the mid-east allies. why would he decide now that a fountain no one actually cares about is what peaks his attention? "but, i think we'd have a bunch of kids jumping in if it did work. so, could be for the best."

realistically, the fountain is too small for anyone bigger than a toddler to attempt to climb in. but, you still find yourself slightly smiling in relief at his response, realising that maybe you weren't completely hopeless and maybe reiner didn't truly want to be completely alone.

"i suppose," you echo his earlier response back to him, no longer craning your neck and returning to face forward with him once more. your smile grows even wider as you notice the corners of his mouth softly curling upwards. much better. your eyes meet his for a moment and you can't look away from the deep hazel, the warm welcome. he is the one to break the stare, eyes glancing off to a passerby.

"you have a thing for fountains then?" he jokes. but, as you stay looking at him, you can see that despite his attempts at some kind of humor, his gaze is still crestfallen and his fists are still clenched at his sides. you don't know what to say.

"no, just for nice days," you retort, offering another toothy smile. like reiner, it doesn't particularly reach your eyes. maybe this is a mistake. maybe you are just bothering him and tiring him out from making him have to put up some moderately pleasant facade. maybe this is just for your own gain. because you are alone. because you are lonely. you grab at the empty woven basket next to you, wondering if you should just leave.

but the truth is the truth, and you are alone and so is he. is it such a crime to maybe want to be alone together?

"are you just out getting groceries?" reiner casually inquires, shoving his balled fists into the pockets of his long jacket. he looks at you again. everytime he has ackowledged you so far, a part of you feels that maybe this is okay. that maybe the small moments where he isn't lost in his own head and instead spares looks at a stranger makes it all okay. in the end, you don't really know him, and he doesn't really know you. but do you need to know someone to want them to feel okay?

"yeah," you say, leaning foward to take a peek at the busier end of the street, "but i think i'm a bit late. everything other than maybe bread is probably gone by now," even though this is going to be an inconvenience, you don't find yourself regretting it. you're happy to sit here next to reiner, even if it means another morning of trying to wake up early and make your way through the masses.

"huh," reiner huffs out a small chuckle, eyeing your empty basket, "you should probably go grab that bread then."

you slowly stand up, slinging the basket at the crook of your arm and turn to face reiner. he looks up at you questioningly. there was no way you had waited almost a month just to have some measly conversation about nice days and a century-old fountain.

"do you want to come?" you ask, trying to feign at least a fraction of the confidence you wish you held in this particular moment, "to the bakery, i mean." obviously he knows what you mean. why would you say that? reiner slightly raises his eyebrows at your invitation, but deep down, you are adamant that this is not the last time you talk to him. you are not going to let him sit on that bench until the next time he's shipped off halfway across the world.

"which do you go to?" he asks after a pause.

"the one by the tailor's," you answer.

"i don't know...technically, i did just meet you. you might be out to kidnap me and force me into building a fountain." you roll your eyes, a smile tugging at your lips.

"i don't think you have anything better to be doing," again, reiner responds with another raised eyebrow, "accept the pretty girl's invitation to buy some bread with her, reiner."

reiner laughs. a real, actual laugh. and you know that you aren't going to regret the sudden burst of confidence when you get home.

"how do you know my name?" reiner asks through his smile, getting up as he dusts off his warrior uniform.

"doesn't everyone, reiner braun, warrior of marley, hero of liberio?"

"hero," he repeats after you, standing a little closer and once more gazing into the distance, "i don't know about that." you both slowly start walking back along the way you had originally come.

"how come?"

"i think heroes are supposed to be good people."

his honesty stuns you, but you try not to let your composure falter as you both make your way down the cobblestone path, maneuvering through the crowd that seems to finally be clearing away as the morning breaks into afternoon.

"well," you pause, trying to think of something that will mean anything to him. that will relax his brow a little, or soften out the stress on his face, "i don't think you're a hero." you can feel reiner freeze for a small minuscule moment, his face turning toward you.

"oh, really?" a small, teasing smirk makes its way across his face. he can't hide the confusion painted on his features. maybe he's not as taken aback or hurt or offended because you really are just a stranger. maybe's it's easier for him to be honest because you really are just a stranger. maybe he is speaking freely, with the knowledge he may never see you again, because you really are just a stranger. and, even though, deep down, a part of you wishes you were something more than a face he would eventually forget, you are grateful for the modicum of anonymity that somehow seems to evaporate an unspoken boundary between you.

"heroes die," you say, bluntly, "maybe i think there's more for you than that." and that was the truth, or as much of it as you could force yourself into saying. reiner stares at you blankly, his teasing demeanor fading away as he stops in his path. maybe you had said something wrong, or reminded him of something he wishes he could forget, but you are glad that in some weird, confusing way, you managed to express that he needed to live.

you had walked on for a few steps before realising he had stopped, and turn back to find reiner still staring at you. people walk between you and around you, but his gaze doesn't falter. his face is unreadable, but eventually, he is cut out of his moment of stillness and crosses the distance between you.

"that's a bit grim, but thanks, i guess?" he laughs, scratching at the back of his neck. you are a couple of steps ahead of him as you both turn the corner, getting closer to the bakery stall. you look back at him, watching as he strides on behind you, arms swaying by his sides and hair being lightly blown by the wind.

"you know," you start, stopping in your path again. reiner follows suit, waiting for you to continue, "that doesn't mean i don't think you're a good person."

reiner looks up at you. he doesn't look back down. you think you can feel yourself sinking into the ground.

"really?" he says, after a pause. you can hear the chatter of the bakery up ahead, the footsteps of more shoppers walking past you, the faint howling of the wind in your ears, the playful cries of children weaving through the hoards of people littered throughout the street. and you look at him. really look at him. you know, for sure, for definite, that you don't want to be just a stranger. you want him to remember your face and your words. you want him to think he deserves something more than desolation. so, you repeat.

"it doesn't mean i don't think you're a good person."

you take a few steps towards him and grab the sleeve of his jacket, gently tugging him towards you as you continue walking towards the bakery. you walk side by side, a little closer now. this time, the silence is comfortable, and when he looks down at you as you ready your basket to collect the bread of your choice, you're already looking up at him and offering a smile. as you grab the money out of your purse, you stare at reiner's hands which hang at his sides.

you don't want to be a stranger. you will see him again.

it doesn't mean i don't think you're a good person.

you hand the money to the vendor, thanking her and steadying your grip on the now filled basket. reiner silently tries to grab it from you, even though it weighs practically nothing, but you move your hand away, eyeing him threateningly.

you have nothing else to buy, but you keep walking. your hands brush accidentally on purpose (more so on purpose on your behalf.) reiner doesn't ask where else you need to go, he just keeps walking with you, and you are grateful. you grab a roll of bread from the basket and break off the end of it, dividing it into two and offering a piece to reiner. he takes it from your hand and offers you a smile. you want to see that smile again.

no, you want to see him smile because of you again.

it doesn't mean i don't think you're a good person.

it just means i want you to live.

[ukcyo]

sehnsucht.

❦ summary ; as all of you wait to reach your destination, reiner and you are entangled in each other’s arms. there isn't any other place you'd feel at home than here, lying next to him.

➳ pairing ; reiner braun x reader

➳ genre ; angst, hurt/comfort, tinge of fluff

➳ warnings ; spoilers for chapter 129 and beyond, mentions of death

Slumber was meant for serenity and comfort, a brief escape from the disappointing (in your case—devastating) fact that was reality. Yet, this world remains as cruel and sadistic as ever, placing you into the realm of nightmares in order to prohibit you from even enjoying an ounce of rest.

Seeing the sea painted red, millions of lifeless bodies floating aimlessly, was enough to blast you awake.

Cold sweat overtakes you as your chest heaves rapidly, the horror of what you saw still vividly fresh in your mind. It makes you reel, eyes moving frantically as you remain unaware if this was reality or not, your heart pounding so hard it was as if it was going to explode.

But as soon as your eyes land on the man lying next to you, arm protectively wrapped around your waist, your body immediately relaxes.

Reiner’s eyes are shut close, his lips slightly parted as small huffs of breath consistently escape from between them. His expression was peaceful, which was something that greatly contrasted the sorrow and desolation that was frequent on his features from the moment you finally saw him after four years. You can’t help but feel a bit of joy and relief at noticing this, for it had been a while since you’ve seen him so serene and calm, as if the arduousness of life had failed to penetrate him. Seeing him like this was enough to tell you that what you saw was just a nightmare.

Seconds later, however, he begins to stir, eyes slowly opening to reveal their gleaming hazel color. You must have woken him up due to your rustling.

Reiner’s eyes immediately fall onto you, haziness still deeply laced into them due to the fact that he was still half-asleep. Your heart leaps when you feel his hand softly rub circles into your waist, the gesture bringing great comfort to you. Instinctively, you turn your body towards him, wanting to feel this as long as possible. His warmth and affection was the only thing keeping you together at the moment. It was the only thing preventing you from thinking just how plausible your nightmare was.

Yet, as soon as you do this, Reiner’s hands gently clutch your cheeks, tilting your head upwards. His eyebrows are furrowed in immense concern, the sleepiness present in his eyes now all gone.

“What’s wrong? You’re shaking...”

Curse his perceptiveness. 

And curse you for not noticing that you were still deeply bothered.

“I...It’s nothing,” you reassure quietly, hoping to everything that your voice doesn’t betray you. You close your eyes as you rest the weight of your face on the hands that continued to caress your cheeks, focusing on completely calming yourself by the utter warmth and care emitted by them. Reiner’s hands were calloused and rigid, most likely stemming from all the strain and battles they were subjugated to. But despite that, they managed to make you feel like you are right where you belong.

“I’m sorry for waking you up,” you followed up, guilty over your actions. He was probably really tired and that brief sleep would have helped him a lot, “I know how exhausted and worn out you are.”

He feels a pang of shame from your apology. Even back then, during your training days and well into joining the Survey Corps, you had always managed to look through him like transparent glass. Despite how well Reiner acted as an older brother, carefully crafting his persona, you knew it was all an act. You knew how tired he got, how much he often wanted to break down and cry from both the hidden guilt and stress that came from the crimes in pursuit of completing their mission. And each time you noticed, you were there to comfort him. You always looked out for him, for his wellbeing, and always put his needs above yourself. Before he knew it, he was always crying to you about how tired he was, how he didn’t realize how difficult this all really was. Even if you didn’t know what he was really talking about, you never failed to listen, giving him the advice that allowed him to continue moving forward.

You were a savior, someone who always managed to give him a brief taste of solace. He grew intoxicated and soon, he wasn’t only falling in love with the way you gave him brief peace. He fell in love with your voice, the way your cheeks would rise when you threw a solid, ecstatic grin towards his way, how your eyes twinkled under the moonlight--he fell in love with you and the way you made him feel. It blinded and cursed him, because his love for you further tore him in half. And through this all, through all the conflict and inner turmoil, he never even thought of what you were going through.

And yet, four years later, during the end of the world, as both of you lay on this bed, entangled in each other’s arms, your cheeks snuggly resting against the palm of his hand, you never changed. Even after feeling the rapid rate of your heartbeat, your body shaking in fright, you still put him first. You thought about his wellbeing instead of your own.

How selfish and undeserving he was.

“[y/n] please... Please don't do that, I want you to tell me what's wrong," he pleads, tears already accumulating in his eyes, "You always think about how I feel, but you never think about your own."

You stiffen as you open your eyes to stare at Reiner in shock. Your heart sinks as you once more see guilt and self-loathe painted across his features, his staple expressions. The past four years that you shared away from each other has truly scarred and battered him in such a ghastly manner.

You clasp his hands that continue to tenderly encage your cheeks.

"I'm alright, I promise. It was just some stupid nightmare," you reassure with a tranquilizing tone. Yet, even after saying so, you can still clearly see the despondency in his expression. You can see the poison of diffidence littered all over his eyes, the tears that were still crumpled around their rims only further magnifying it.

He was suffering so much.

"You still don't believe me," you admit sadly, eyes downcast to prevent yourself from also tearing up, "Reiner, I know I already told you this but I'm much more selfish than you give me credit for. Even back then, I... A major reason onto why I was always there to comfort you was because it made me feel important, that my life was more than just constant danger. I wanted to keep that to myself, to keep you to myself. I never even once suggested you try telling the others about what you were feeling, because I wanted you to continue to look at me like I was the only light of your life. Because everytime you looked at me like that... I feel like the future is brighter than it seems to be."

His eyes widen as you bite your lip in pure, utter shame. Admitting this part of yourself burned you much more than you thought it would.

"I love you, Reiner, and I always will. That's why I always prioritize you and your feelings. That's why I could never completely hate you after you betrayed us all those years ago, no matter how much I should've," you confess breathlessly, "But to say that I do so selflessly is a lie in itself. I'm not that good of a person, and I honestly think none of us are. This cruel world makes sure of that."

You finally have the courage to look at him again, telling yourself that you'll accept the hurt and betrayed expression that will be present on his face. After all, you just shattered the idealized perception he had of you.

To your surprise, you were met with a genuinely delighted smile instead.

It was as if something heavy was lifted off of Reiner's chest after hearing you tell him all of those hidden thoughts. He feels extremely light, the exquisite taste of euphoria that he hasn't felt in such a while being so vividly present on his tongue.

You didn't love him out of pity. You love him because his presence gives you joy and satisfaction.

"Thank you. I'm... I'm so happy."

You're speechless, completely caught off guard from this unexpected reaction.

"Wh- I don't understand," you stammer, thoughts in disarray, "I just admitted to you that I-"

"You love me," Reiner reiterates with a much more cheerful tone than usual, "You love me because of who I am and how I make you feel. You don't love me because you think I need it."

You realize the reason behind his ecstatic reaction with your confession. Seeing Reiner so undeniably happy also made you feel similar sentiments, but the fact that he thought of your love in such a completely different way also planted a small seed of disappointment.

Your hand leaves his hand to caress his cheek instead, the small hairs that formed his goatee slightly tickling your palm.

"I never thought of you as a charity case," you whispered with a tone that sounded more pained than you intended, "I didn't fall in love with you because of your pain. I would hate myself if I did."

His tears finally spills over, its path down his cheeks being cut short by your hand.

If only things were different. If only they didn't turn out this way. He would've--

"I wish I married you beforehand," Reiner admits, "That way, when I end up dying from trying to save the world now, I wouldn't have any regrets. Because half of me would have continued living in you."

There it was. The toxic substance of lamentation. You felt the same, having the same thoughts over and over again for the time after learning of the truth behind the walls and what Reiner and the others had to go through. What if, if only, if only you didn't do this, what if you did that. It was a never ending cycle of pain, grief, and hurt that damaged you beyond mention. But as time passed, so did those emotions, and you found yourself accepting that the damage had been done. All you can do now is move on with the present and do better.

Reiner had never broken out of that cycle and you'd be damn to let him continue being in it.

"How do you know you will die," you question, "It's not like it's set in stone. We can still do it, we can still get married after all of this is over. All you have to do is survive. You have to fight to live as much as you can. I know I will, for you."

He gasps in surprise before his expression softens after internalizing your words. The Warrior was finding himself getting lost and intoxicated in the look of hope and adoration in your eyes, just like he did back then. You are a drug that attaches to him like glue and he will always embrace it full-heartedly.

"So let's survive for each other. Let's survive for a future we both deserve."

Reiner couldn't even bear to fathom what kind of emotions surged through him when the most heavenly smile etched across your lips after saying those words of promise. He felt like he was basking in the presence of a goddess, because it was almost impossible someone like you are real. Someone as ethereal and lovely as you can't possibly exist on this Earth. Yet here you are, hand wrapped around his cheek, saying you'll survive so you can still marry him.

"Can I kiss you," he timidly requests, voice barely above a whisper. He wanted more of your touch, your essence to envelop him whole, but a part of him still feels so unworthy of it.

A small, disbelieving chuckle escapes from you. You thought he would never ask.

"Please."

In an instant, Reiner guides your head closer to his until his lips finally meets yours. His lips were still as soft as they were four years ago, the sweetness and elation they provided you filled up the crevices of your soul. There was nothing on this earth that can defeat the way Reiner's lips felt against yours. There was no force that can match the passion and fervor that was present in the way his lips moved against yours, the action itself telling you just how vast his love for you was.

As exhilarating kissing Reiner was, you were more ecstatic over what this kiss meant to both of you. It was his promise, his promise to you that he will do his best to survive. The way that both of you are in a current liplock, joined as one, demonstrated his vow to make it out of this alive in order to join both of your lives together in marriage.

You wish this would never end.

You wish time wasn't so inevitable.

Reiner slowly parts from you after a while, his eyes looking at each and every feature on your face. He engraves the way you look right now in his mind, the memory of it already being one of his most treasured.

His thumb gently scrapes away at your cheekbones, as if to take something away. You didn't realize that you were crying.

"I will love you even after death. But you're right, I don't have to die so soon," Reiner confesses with sincerity, before returning to wrap his arms around your form once more. He flushes you against his chest as he places a loving kiss on the top of your head.

"I promise you. We'll both survive."

hellooo !! this is my very fic/ one-shot made on this site :'^ i hope you enjoy it as much as it was both fun and hurt to write lol

i'm still trying to navigate through tumblr and how to use it so i hope you bear with me !! thank you once again <33

[ye4gerismarchives]

the bachelorette: after the final rose

an: the bachelorette is finally over. writing this was…wow. interacting with my followers was so fun😭 i hope to do so again in the future. do enjoy this and take a look at the poll at the end. my requests will be opening up again! feel free to drop something :)

tags: black, fem reader

taglist: @taybird

The day after your wedding, you and Jean found yourselves in Bora Bora. Once you landed, you and Jean settled down for a moment. Your ideal plan was to unpack, get something to eat at the hotel you were in and probably go to sleep. Jean had different plans in mind. As you unpacked your suitcase, he kept massaging your shoulders. His hands moved down your arms and you didn't protest. Y'all, I don't write smut. Give me a few years and I'll write everything that when down.

Despite getting married on television and the whole world knowing, you and Jean never saw yourself as a married couple. It was more like dating to you guys. There were times he's walked out on you because you were too "emotional" and you've walked out on him because he was too "sensitive". But you always found your way back to each other.

During the week of your first "wedding" anniversary, Jean flew you out to Corfu, Greece. The first six days, he recreated your first "honeymoon" night and on the seventh day, he got on one knee again and asked you to be his wife- for real this time. You immediately said yes and threw yourself at him, toppling him over. You both landed on the restaurant floor but that didn't stop you from kissing him.

Wedding planning didn't take as long and it wasn't as hectic as it was the last time. You and Jean had decided to elope. You decided not to tell anyone, except Mikasa, that the wedding was real this time. Everyone you knew had been under the impression that you were spouses.

The day you went to court, Mikasa had been your only witness. You liked the idea of eloping. It was more intimate. No camera, no scripts. Just you and Jean.

Buying what you call a 'mansion' was not on your bingo card. Before you officially made Jean your husband, you had lived in a penthouse that Levi owned. You thought it was perfect- there was enough space for you and Jean. However, it was time to put your big boy pants on.

The outside of your home looks scary. No, it was a pretty house but this was a HUGE mansion. The inside of your home was very homey, however. There were office spaces for you and Jean- which he loved because he was getting back into law again (he had to quit his job because fans and Yeagerists, Eren's "fandom", had found his place of work and harassed him in some sort of way. Jean works with an elite private firm now), a game room, an inside gym, and a sitting room. Your backyard had a pool, a cabana, a garden, and outside guest quarters.

To be perfectly honest, you both found yourself in your offices. You started your own successful wedding planning business and Jean had his cases. Sometimes you felt like a big home was a waste of time. It's not like you had people to live in it for you.

"Jean, we need to talk."

Jean had just come home from work. It was one in the morning. You were standing in front of him in one of your many bathrobes. Jean walks up to you and plants a kiss on your forehead. "What's up, babe? No hi or anything?"

"I'm afraid that you're not taking care of yourself well enough," you start. "What do you mean, baby?" Jean asks mindlessly as he removes his coat. "Oh, would you stop with the baby thing? I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you!"

Jean looks at you like you hit his mother or something. "I don't think a serious conversation includes you raising your voice at me," he answers. "Excuse me? Your thick head doesn't like to listen to anyone, so we got to yell things into it," you retort. Jean ignores you and makes his way to the kitchen. You're eyes widen- he's never walked away from you before. "Excuse me!” you call after him.

There is no response from Jean, who pulls a white wine from the fridge. "You're not drinking that. Not until you hear me out," you try again. "Well, you could have told me instead of chewing me out about calling you 'baby', y/n," Jean responds. He turns away from you again and starts looking through the cabinets for a wine glass. You take this as an opportunity to take the wine off the island counter and pour it out. Jean's head snaps back once he hears liquids going down the drain. "What the hell is your problem? I can't drink now?!" he snaps.

"I'm worried about you, idiot. You come home late, I never hear you eating, you don't take your double showers and you're always exhausted. You don't think your job is hurting you? I don't even see you anymore. Your job is hurting us!" you cry.

Jean shakes his head and mutters some nonsense under his breath before placing the wine glass he picked on the island counter. He shakes his head as he leaves.

"Are you gonna be like this when the baby is here?" You call out.

"Excuse me?"

"Are you going to be working long hours and act like a jerk when I'm farther along? What about when the baby gets here? At this point, the baby doesn't even have a father."

Jean walks over to you with confusion in his eyes. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm pregnant, Jean," you say with a small chuckle. I've wanted to tell you this whole time but you've been busy and I just got fed up tonight because I miss you."

Jean doesn't say a word. Instead, he undoes your robe and places a hand on your stomach. "We're having a baby? Are you serious? Us? How..."

You could only smile wider. Seeing Jean in awe about your very small bump was an entertaining sight.

"I'll...I'll talk to my b-boss. In fact, I-I'll q-quit my job...yeah! I'll q-quit!" he finally lets out.

"Oh no, don't do that. Just get your hours fixed and if they don't allow that, we'll find a different place, yeah?"

"S-sure," Jean stutters. "Are you hungry? Would you like me to order something? Do you want socks? What do you want?"

"I think I want you to take a bath and for you to sleep, mister," you answer. Jean still in a trance, obeys.

"I can't believe we had two. I was under the impression there was only one."

"At least they'll keep the big room you painted busy."

Jean had one of your newborns sprawled on his bare chest. You cradled the other one in your arms. A little boy and girl. Your daughter, Maia, already had Jean wrapped around her finger. Your son, Marquis, was a little independent, despite being a few days old.

"I can't believe we made them," Jean says. After your emergency C-section, Jean was back into that trance he was in when you first told him you were pregnant. "We should have one more. We have pretty babies."

"Shut up, Jean."

You never thought you'd allow a camera in your sight again. Obviously, there was the paparazzi that hounded you and your children down on the regular. But a camera allowed by you in your home? Never. Until today.

It's been seven years since you met the love of your life. You're thirty now and Jean is thirty-two. The two little menaces in your home are three. Maia and Marquis were just like their father- silly and full of life unless otherwise. But at least they look like you (except the pieces of ash brown in their hair that they picked up from Jean). You were pregnant with another. You hoped that your child would bring you peace but even if they were as colorful as your two, it wouldn't matter to you.

You sat in the family room with Jean and your twins as the camera team prepared their cameras and other equipment. Jean was trying his best to keep your children in one place, as you adjust your hair.

"Ms. y/n, are you ready?" Your interviewer asks. You nod and Jean gives you a nervous look. "Hey, kids...why don't you go into the sitting room. We'll come get you later, yeah?" you say softly. Your twins start to whine but they also start their walk to the sitting room.

"Mr. and Mrs. Kirstein, I'll count you off now," your cameraman says. You both nod, waiting for the interviewer to start asking you questions.

"Mr. and Mrs. Kirstein, I'll count you off now," your cameraman says. You both nod, waiting for the interviewer to start asking you questions.

"Mr. and Mrs. Kirstein, it's such an honor to meet you both. Seven years together...amazing. You've been together for almost a decade now," your interviewer starts.

"It's been interesting but it's been nice getting to know my girlfriend of seven years now," Jean says jokingly. "Oh stop it," you reply teasingly.

"How have you changed since the Bachelorette?"

You take a deep breath and Jean looks down awkwardly. "Well, we've been cautious. Obviously, with our privacy but also with the people we allow in our circle," you answer. "We've been in contact with a few contestants and it's been on and off. We've learned that trust is key...not only in marriage but who we bring into it," Jean says.

"If you don't mind me asking, who is in your life right now? Have you been in contact with your father? What about Levi?"

Jean clinches his fist and you take it in your hand, letting him know you were still here with him. "Well, Bertholdt and Reiner are still one of our biggest friends," you answer. Reiner and Bertholdt had a baby recently, a little girl named Gabi, but you decided not to announce that to protect their privacy. "Mikasa and I are still friends and we're still trying to get used to Eren being in her-our lives." Mikasa and Eren met up again and Mikasa was still head over heels for him. You were uncomfortable (because of his silence when his fans harassed your husband) at first but he was good to her. "The twins absolutely adore Levi and Erwin. They're their grandpas," you finish. You still hadn't answered the question about Jean's father.

"And your father? Mr. Kirstein?"

"My father is not in my life. Please stop asking."

The interviewer purses their lips, now feeling embarrassed. “I apologize, Mr. Kirstein. I’ll ask the next question: what are some obstacles you’ve faced in your relationship?”

“Well, we thought we had communication down. But we didn’t…at least not completely. But we managed,” you say.

“I think our children are proof of it,” Jean suddenly includes.

You glare at him and slap his hand, non verbally telling him to shut up. He only gives you a cheeky smile.

The rest of the questions were about hardships, what turned you both on, and your hopes for the future.

When the interviewer finally announced that the last question was coming up, you couldn’t have been happier.

“What are three things you appreciate about each other?”

You look at Jean and then back at the interviewer. “Er-well…I-“

“I appreciate how serious you get,” Jean interrupts, “ how kind you are and how dedicated you are- especially to your children and your career. I wouldn’t want anyone else but you.”

“Jean-“ your voice cracked. It always seemed like you had power over your husband and he was just your dog but he still knew how to overpower you with his words. “I don’t know what to say…you’re so dedicated to our family. Watching you play with our kids, feed them, and put them to sleep- you just prove that you're the perfect man for this job. I see how you treat your mom and I don’t worry about our children and me being mistreated. And you’re so strong. You lost the person who should have been there for you and your mom but you still worked hard and you found some peace. I love you, Jean Kirstein.

Jean takes your hand and kisses it. “I love you too, y/n l/n.”

The End.

once again, thank you for reading the bachelorette! do me a favor and rate this series! it would be very much appreciated :) see y’all soon

[bnhayyy]

The Call (7)

Chapter Title: Realization

Wordcount: 5.7k

Fic Tag: Click

Ao3 Link: Click

Chapter Summary: Hanji gives the group a warning. Later, Mikasa and Annie have an eventful patrol.

Notes: I sat on this chapter for a bit so that I could use it as my submission for day two of @mikannieweek . I know that it’s technically a day early, but that won’t be stopping me. Also, than you again Celadon for the beta!

The weekend sped by in a blur. Another person disappeared, and although Mikasa channeled it into her motivation, she found that she couldn’t shut the rest of the world out completely. There were people who wouldn’t let her.

Mikasa and Annie patrolled separately. Mikasa on Saturday and Annie on Sunday, so that both slayers would have a day to get caught up on their homework. That turned into Mikasa patrolling alone on Monday as well when Annie reluctantly admitted that she hadn't been able to finish an art project due on Tuesday.

Despite insisting that Mikasa not neglect her classes in the name of slaying, Annie had looked distinctly embarrassed to admit that she was struggling in keeping up with one of her own courses. It was faint, but Mikasa had gotten good enough at reading the other slayer to know it was there. She hoped that she didn't feel too bad about it. It wasn't like Mikasa minded going on patrol by herself; for all that Annie's assistance lifted a weight from her back, it wasn't very long ago that she had patrolled by herself almost every night.

It was almost scary how easily they had fallen into a rhythm. How quickly Annie had become familiar, even a comforting, presence despite her initial distrust. Just how quickly she had started to trust her. It was a little overwhelming.

That brought up the other reason she didn't mind doing the Monday patrol alone. It gave her time to think .

Something had changed between her and Annie when she told her about that night. She wasn't certain exactly how or what, but there'd been a distinct shift. There was a weight in their shared glances that hadn't been there before. Or maybe it had, but was only now noticeable. Could the same thing be said of the sparks that danced over their skin when their hands touched? The looks that lingered, the silences that rang heavy with words unsaid?

Mikasa didn't know what was happening or what to do about it, but she was trying her hardest to figure it out.

She didn't know if she could manage by herself, but she didn't think she had another option in this case. Her expanded social life did nothing to change that. Going to Armin for issues like this simply wasn't an option. Jean was nice, but their friendship was also very new and untested. She wasn't comfortable going to him to discuss such complex, mysterious feelings. Sasha had dogged Mikasa persistently enough that she could honestly say that she was a little closer to her, close enough that she had sincerely considered talking to her for a little while. The trouble was that she didn't completely trust that she wouldn't tell Connie, who absolutely would tell Reiner, which would be disastrous on multiple levels.

A ridiculous part of her wanted to talk to Eren about it. It was a horrible idea. Discarding the fact that he wasn't real, she got the sense that he would be all but useless for things like this. Naturally, she had discarded the notion as soon as it had occurred to her.

That didn't stop it from lingering in the back of her mind.

Perhaps that was why he had been trailing after her all morning long. She thought about him, and so he was there.

At least it was easy to ignore him this morning. He had disappeared while she was in History, and although he had reappeared once she left, she knew that she would have plenty to distract her until it was time for American Literature.

One of Erwin's friends had asked everyone to meet them in the library for an "urgent matter". It had sounded like they meant business when Erwin called her. They had gone as far as to book one of the meeting rooms in the library.

However, when Mikasa strode into the room, Erwin's eccentric friend was nowhere to be seen. Behind her, Eren snorted and rolled his eyes. "That's Hanji, alright," he muttered.

Mikasa turned her attention to the people who were there. Sasha and Connie were both there, clustered in on either side of a visibly irritated Jean. They didn't say anything to Mikasa, the two of them too caught up in their conversation and their long-suffering third unable to hear her arrival over their spirited chatter. Armin sat a few spots down from them, caught somewhere between preemptively attentive and uncomfortable and out of place. He shot Mikasa a small smile, which she returned with a nod.

Finally, Erwin sat at the table, a bored-looking Levi lounging by his side.

"Your friend isn't here," Mikasa pointed out.

At least Erwin had the decency to look flustered. "I'm sure Hanji will be along in a moment," he said, tugging on his shirt collar.

Levi snorted. "Four-eyes runs on their own schedule," he said. "They'll be ready when they're ready."

Mikasa pursed her lips. "I don't have all day."

Levi waved his hand dismissively. "This is more important than your classes."

She saw Eren look at her and shake his head out of the corner of her eyes. However, he quickly fell out of her line of sight as she narrowed her eyes at the asshole Erwin had seen fit to call in. He just raised an impassive eyebrow at her, seemingly undaunted by being stared down by a slayer.

Before the interaction could go any further, the door to the meeting room opened again. Annie strode in with Reiner following a short distance behind her. She gave the room a quick once-over before looking at Mikasa, a frown on her lips.

"No Hanji?" she asked.

"No Hanji," Mikasa confirmed.

"Then why..." Annie trailed off almost as soon as she started speaking, gaze following Reiner as he carefully stalked around the edge of the meeting room. It seemed that he had noticed that Sasha and Connie were off in their own little world. Now, he held a finger up to his playfully smirking lips as he snuck up on them.

Once he was directly behind them, he waited for a few seconds, then reached out to drop the palm of his hand on top of Connie's head.

He was greeted by a high-pitched shriek, which got a scream from Sasha, which made Jean curse and drop lower in his chair.

Reiner laughed and jumped back to avoid being swatted at by Connie, who twisted around in his chair in his attempt to get him. "Asshole!" he cried. "Your hands are cold!"

"Just keeping you on your toes!" Reiner teased, unrepentant. Connie let out an undignified squawk and leaned forward to swat at his arm, which just sent Reiner into another round of laughter.

"If you could do that when he isn't close enough to deafen anyone, that would be appreciated," Jean growled.

At the same time, Levi looked at Erwin and informed him, "you're working with five-year-olds."

Erwin sighed. "Levi..."

In response, Levi jerked his head back at Connie, who was glowering at a still-laughing Reiner, and Sasha, who had slithered out of her chair and was now circling the edges of the room in what Mikasa could only assume was an attempt to sneak up on Reiner while he was distracted. "Five," he repeated. "Maybe eight, tops."

Annie looked like she didn't know what to make of everything. Mikasa couldn't say she blamed her. As Sasha slinked around Mikasa in her loop around the room, she couldn't decide if she should say something or just leave the girl to it.

Her mind was made up by Hanji kicking the door open and exclaiming in a sing-song voice, "We have a vengeance demon!"

Mikasa grabbed Sasha by her upper arm and dragged her down into the seat next to her as she sat down. Sasha let out a disappointed whine, but otherwise didn't protest. At the same time, Reiner finally settled down and took the now-open seat next to Jean, while Annie sat down in between Mikasa and Armin. Mikasa's gaze lingered on her for a few moments. However, before she could figure out exactly what she was looking at, her attention was drawn over to Levi.

"What makes you say that?" he asked, shooting Hanji an unimpressed look.

Hanji shuffled both of the heavy cases they were carrying to dangle from their left hand so that they could dig through the pocket of their jeans with their right. After a few seconds of digging, they let out a triumphant, "aha!" and pulled out a small, bright green crystal.

A small, glowing bright green crystal.

Mikasa squinted at the stone, a frown creeping across her face. Now that she was looking closely, it looked like the crystal was actually white around the edges. The color came from the unnatural glow emanating from the center. As she watched, a ripple of intensified color ran over it. It happened again a few seconds later.

Hanji seemed very pleased with themselves. However, when Mikasa took a look around, she noticed that everyone other than Erwin and Levi just seemed confused. Even Eren, who had moved to hover behind Reiner, wore a befuddled look on his face.

The silence that had fallen over the room was broken by Erwin clearing his throat. "A demonic presence detector, Hanji?" he asked.

"Reality-altering demons, specifically," Hanji said. "And it's a strong one, to get a reaction like this." They held the crystal a little higher and turned it over in their fingers, staring at it like it held a treasure trove of information. To them, it probably did.

"And how'd that lead you to a vengeance demon?" Levi asked, crossing his arms. "Last I checked, those things are rare, and there are plenty of reality-alterers."

Hanji clicked their tongue. "Oh Levi, ye of little faith."

Hanji pocketed the crystal, shifted one of their briefcases back into their other hand, and approached the table. They didn't bother sitting down before lifting their cases and all but dropping them on the table in their enthusiasm. One of them landed more loudly than the others. 

 Levi fixed the louder briefcase with a disapproving glower before turning his attention back to Hanji. "Hanji," he said.

"Yeah?"

"Is one of those cases full of rocks?"

Hanji shot him an overly wide grin. "Of course."

Levi looked like he was experiencing a unique, but not unexpected, brand of torment. "Are all of them glowing?"

Hanji laughed. "No - no - that would be-"

"Don't care," Levi interrupted. "Did you call this meeting to force us all to hear about the magic rocks?"

A series of concerned looks made their way across the table. None of them knew Hanji well yet, but there was no denying the sense that if Hanji got talking about something they were interested in, they were going to be there for a while. Mikasa honestly didn't know how she felt about that. She did have things to do, but if it was an interesting topic, she could also think of worse ways to spend her time.

Annie, on the other hand, looked about ready to bolt.

"No," Hanji said. Although they were mainly reassuring Levi, they did shoot a quick glance around the rest of the room, paired with a small smile. "I had the suitcase full of crystals with me for something else. We are here to talk about the vengeance demon."

Mikasa didn't think she imagined the collective sigh of relief.

"Hm." Levi leaned back in his chair, a vaguely disinterested look flitting back across his features. "Get on with it, then."

Mikasa couldn't help but frown at his demeanor. Was this what he was always like? Her gaze flickered over to Erwin. He looked focused and had a slight glint in his eyes, probably eager to get on with the meeting. More importantly, it was nothing that she hadn't seen at all. He seemed entirely unbothered by Levi's general attitude.

That didn't bode well.

Meanwhile, Hanji was undoing a series of locks to open the lighter briefcase. After a few seconds, they flung it open to reveal several folders. They immediately snatched the one at the top and pulled out a stack of papers.

A photograph was on the top of the stack. It was a little grainy, but not so much that it was impossible to make out the person in the picture. Hanji put it down in the center of the table and triumphantly said, "that's how I know we have a vengeance demon."

"You recognize the person in the picture?" Erwin asked. As he spoke, Annie grabbed the photo for a closer look. She stared down at it, expression unreadable.

"Ooooh yes," Hanji said. "One of the first things I did when I got here was set up a few cameras in highly congested areas, and other areas demons are likely to frequent. Well, I haven't been able to find our mystery killer yet - seriously, you were right, Erwin. They seem impulsive, but they must be meticulous about their actual hunting habits, to avoid places frequented by humans and demons-"

"Hanji," Erwin gently prompted.

"Right," Hanji said. "So, this guy popped up and started causing trouble a few years ago. We haven't been able to figure out his name yet, but he's definitely a vengeance demon."

"He looks normal," Annie said, passing the photo to Mikasa as she spoke.

Mikasa accepted the photo and frowned. The photo showed a scowling young man with sandy-blond hair styled into an undercut. He was largely nondescript. The picture didn't show his feet, but Mikasa could make out jeans, a jacket, and some sort of amulet dangling from his neck.

Annie was right. He looked like any other person.

"He would," Hanji said. "Vengeance demons used to be human themselves."

"That's possible?" Sasha asked as Mikasa passed her the picture.

"Of course," Hanji said. "It's true that most demons are born as humans, since witches still count as human and vampires are a subcategory of their own. But there are some types of demons that have human origins and vengeance demons are one of them. They come from a human who has been wronged and feel a powerful need for revenge. So much so that they attract the leader of the vengeance demons, who offers them immortality and the ability to help others enact vengeance in exchange for giving up their human life. Most don't see a reason to say no."

"He looks grumpy," Connie mumbled before passing the photo to Erwin, who glanced at it only briefly before handing it to Levi.

"The ability to help others enact vengeance," Armin slowly said. "What does that mean, exactly?"

"I'm glad you asked," Hanji said. "Vengeance demons grant wishes for people who feel they've been wronged. They approach them at an emotional weak point and get them talking about their problems. Then, if they can get someone to verbally express a wish..." Hanji leaned forward, then clapped their hands, making everyone but Levi and Erwin flinch. "Wish granted."

"That doesn't sound so bad," Jean said. He kept glancing at Connie, who was now in possession of the photo, and seemed to be struggling caught in a fight between his need to maintain his dignity and the urge to peer over his shoulder for a look at it. "If these people have been wronged, don't they deserve someone to mete out justice?"

"There's a lot more to it than that," Hanji said, their voice taking on a grave tone. "Vengeance demons are still demons. Unless the wish they're granting is already especially vindictive, they always add a slant to it that makes it cruel and unusual. It might not be the person making the wish who suffers, but someone will end up in a great deal of pain from the wish, often more than they actually deserve. And if only one person gets the brunt of it, that means you got off lucky."

"And if you didn't?" Sasha asked, a slight waver in her voice.

Hanji smiled grimly. "Like Levi said, vengeance demons are reality warpers. They can manifest demons, wipe people out of existence - the right wish can even spawn an entire alternate universe that the wish maker will be trapped in. And believe me when I say that these universes are always significantly worse than whatever situation they started in."

Jean looked like he might be sick. "Right," he said as he accepted the photo from Connie. "Don't make any wishes. Got it."

Mikasa shot a glance at Annie. Something in her expression was subtly distant. It made Mikasa wonder, had Annie ever dealt with the threat of a demon this powerful? Was she intimidated? It didn't sound like her, but it also wasn't completely outside the realm of possibility. The pull she felt toward her wasn't the same thing as actually knowing her. She couldn't even tell if that was distance in her expression or...

Sadness. Something about Annie looked sad right now.

Despite everything, it was kind of pretty.

Mikasa pushed the thought down and forced herself to focus on the question she should be asking. The only thing that mattered right now. "How do you kill a vengeance demon?" she asked.

"You don't," Hanji said. "But! Did you notice that amulet he's wearing? Every vengeance demon has one; a green gem with red speckles. It's their power source. And, luckily for us, pretty fragile. If you're able to break it, the vengeance demon will be turned back into a demon and the most recent wish they granted will be undone."

"Only the most recent?" Jean asked, still staring at the picture.

"Only the most recent," Hanji confirmed.

Jean hummed and passed the picture to Reiner. Behind his shoulder, Eren leaned forward to stare at it, a pensive expression falling across his face.

"Vengeance demons usually have a particular vendetta that they focus on," Erwin piped up. "Does this one?"

"That's where things get interesting," Hanji said. "All reports say that this demon has a thing for avenging lost loved ones. So either we have an awfully big coincidence on our hands, or..." Hanji trailed off, giving Erwin a long, meaningful look.

"You think he's been drawn in by the disappearances," Erwin summarized.

"Bingo!"

Out of the corner of her eye, Mikasa noticed Annie shift to look at Reiner, who was still inspecting the photo.

"He could also be after someone specific," Annie said.

Mikasa frowned. "You mean he might be seeking revenge on one person?" she asked. It sounded like a broad assumption, but she doubted that Annie would make a truly random guess. If the other slayer thought it was a theory worth considering, then Mikasa didn't want to dismiss it offhand.

"Yes," Annie said. "If vengeance demons are made from vengeful people, then it sounds like he's likely to have a grudge on someone."

"It's possible," Hanji said, "but unlikely. Vengeance demons are organized. They aren't supposed to seek vengeance on their own behalf, and one who does could end up in a lot of trouble." They paused, pursing their lips and shaking their head. "Even if it found the right loopholes, the demon would have to be really reckless to try something like that in the first place."

"Unlikely isn't the same as impossible," Eren murmured. Mikasa risked sending him a look, but he didn't respond, instead continuing to stare at the photo in Reiner's hand.

"Well, I'm sure we'll be able to handle whatever happens," Reiner said, passing the photo across the table to Armin.

"Think you might be being too optimistic?" Jean grumbled.

"Yes," Annie said.

At the same time, Reiner said, "nah."

He paused for a moment, shooting Annie a short glance, before continuing, "maybe vengeance demons are tough, but if you ask me, that guy doesn't look too smart. We'll be fine as long as we just don't make any wishes and destroy that necklace of his."

Annie cast him a long look. "There are a lot of people in this city who might want vengeance."

Reiner shrugged. "So we take care of him sooner rather than later. Now that we all know to look out of him, I'm sure it'll turn out fine. Especially since we have you and Mikasa."

"This is a serious situation, and we need to be careful not to let our guards down," Erwin cut in. "But Reiner is right. If you see the man in this picture, contact me, Hanji, or Levi as soon as possible, and no matter what, do not make any wishes." He slowly shifted his gaze down the table, making sure to make eye contact with every individual. He paused when he hit Mikasa.

"Is there anything else?" Mikasa asked. It was all Erwin was going to get from her. She'd listened carefully and understood what was going on. She didn't need a watcher to hold her hand through whatever came next.

Erwin looked over at Hanji, who shrugged. "Pretty much, yeah," they said.

Mikasa nodded, then looked down at her watch. She had American Literature in fifteen minutes. "I need to get going."

"Yeah," Hanji said. "You should probably all skitter on off to class or whatever it is you do." They waved their hand dismissively even as they pulled out a chair and finally sat down. A quick glance at Erwin and Levi revealed that neither of them looked like they were about to leave either.

Fine. Mikasa wasn't about to ignore a dismissal in favor of lingering around them.

She shrugged her bag back over her shoulder and got to her feet. No sooner had she done so than Sasha all but sprinted past her, babbling something about a forgotten roast. Mikasa couldn't help but pause and blink at the sight.

A groan echoed from across the table. "I warned you not to start cooking just before leaving!" Connie called.

"Conniiiiieee!" Sasha whined as she disappeared out the door and around the corner.

Connie flashed the group an apologetic look that was somewhat hindered by the smile playing at the corners of his lips. "I'd better go make sure she didn't burn her apartment down," he said. With that, he hurried off after his friend.

Annie scoffed. She and Armin were both rising to their feet. Mikasa only had to briefly shoot them a curious look for Annie to say, "we're going to go study in the library." She paused then, something fragile and hesitant showing in her eyes for half a second. "Would you like to...?"

Mikasa shook her head. "I need to get to American Literature," she said. She couldn't help but be surprised by just how reluctant she was to turn the offer down. Watching the hopeful look Armin had given her fade stung, but it was a discomfort that she had long grown used to. The way the fragile thing in Annie's gaze faltered and disappeared - that did something to her. It was what pushed her to hurriedly add, "I'll see you later though?"

Annie offered a small smile. "Yeah," she said. "Meet me in front of the graveyard at eight."

Mikasa nodded.

 "Mikasa, what class do you have?" Jean asked from where he had moved to stand by the door. 

"American Literature," she said.

"With Professor Stevenson?" Jean asked.

Mikasa nodded.

Jean grinned. "Cool; Reiner and I are going the same way. You should walk with us."

Reiner snorted. "Try not to flirt too hard, Jean."

Jean scowled. "Braun, if I was flirting, then believe me, I wouldn't include you in it."

Reiner held a hand over his heart. "Ouch," he said, although his ear-to-ear grin betrayed him. "Words hurt, Kirstein."

Jean scoffed and rolled his eyes before shifting his attention back to Mikasa. He looked like he was torn between whether to say something or wait for her to respond.

"Alright," Mikasa said, taking him out of his misery.

"Great!" Jean said. "That's-"

"He thanks you for gracing his humble self with your presence," Reiner said.

"Would it kill you to keep your thoughts to yourself?" Jean asked, shooting Reiner an entirely unimpressed look. However, despite the bite in his words, Mikasa failed to detect any malice.

It was interesting how different friendships could look on different people.

It was interesting how much she had forgotten about it during her years alone. Interesting how a little under two months of being around other people - not even always directly interacting with them, just being around them - was making her start to remember.

"It might," Reiner retorted.

Mikasa's lips twitched with the urge to smile or laugh. It was subtle enough that she doubted Jean or Reiner noticed, but she did, and that had to count for something.

The three of them left the room, Jean and Reiner continuing to talk while Mikasa walked in silence. She soon tuned it out and allowed it to wash over her. Or at least, she did until they had left the library and were halfway down the hallway that connected it to the English building, at which point Jean asked, "right, Mikasa?"

Mikasa blinked. "Huh?"

"Jojo's Bizarre Adventure," Jean said. "It's nonsensical, right?"

Mikasa blinked. She had absolutely no idea when the conversation had shifted to that topic. And more importantly... "I don't know what that is."

"It's an anime," Reiner said. "And it is not nonsensical if you watch it from the beginning."

"Who the hell would watch that stuff from the beginning?" Jean asked. "Doesn't it have a thousand episodes? And doesn't the beginning suck? Connie spent all of art class ranting about it last week."

"Not a thousand," Reiner countered. "And not everyone got to skip the first part."

"Are you implying that someone made you watch the first part?" Jean asked, incredulous. "Who on earth-"

Reiner hesitated. After a few seconds, he began to say something, only to quickly switch tracks when he saw someone approaching them. "Marco!" he cheerfully called.

"Hey, guys," Marco said. He paused by the side of the hallway, causing Jean and Reiner to step to the side as well. Mikasa paused out of curiosity, but not without an awareness of her need to get to class nagging at the back of her mind.

"What are you talking about?" Marco asked.

"Anime," Mikasa said.

"Oh!" Marco shot Mikasa a look of surprise. "I didn't know you were into that stuff."

"I'm not," she said, "but Jean and Reiner seem pretty interested in it."

Reiner sputtered while Jean began to blush.

"I-I'm not," he stammered. "I was just telling Reiner that Jojo is trash."

"Jojo's Bizarre Adventure?" Marco questioned. When Jean nodded, he added, "I actually really like that one. The first part is my favorite. It's not super popular, but I like the vampires and the poeticism of it."

Reiner chuckled while Jean groaned. "I'm surrounded by people with no taste," he grumbled.

"I mean, have you ever given it a chance, Jean?" Marco asked.

"No," Jean said, "but I've heard about it on the internet. Why would I-"

"If you haven't seen it yourself, you have no room to judge," Reiner remarked.

"Exactly," Marco said.

Jean looked like he was going to argue. Unfortunately, Mikasa didn't have the time to stick around and watch. She took a step back and said, "I need to get going."

That immediately got Jean's attention. "Are you sure?" he asked. "We can-"

"It's fine," Mikasa interrupted. "I just need to get to class."

Despite her abrupt departure, a warm, pleasant feeling lingered in her as she made her way to class.

The feeling faded when, about halfway through the class, her thoughts turned to Annie and that complicated knot of emotions resurfaced.

***

Mikasa thoughtfully shifted the sword from hand to hand. It wasn't particularly fancy or ornate, but it looked like it was well-made. She was surprised by how pleasant the weight was in her hands. Reiner was right, it felt like a weapon that would build a good momentum once she got going.

She and Annie had decided to try using the same weapons tonight, another step to avoid a repeat of anything like the Ymir incident. A quick glance at the other slayer revealed that she looked at ease with her weapon. She had a solid hold on the hilt, but didn't appear to be paying too much attention to it, which meant that it had to be a reflex.

Annie didn't seem to be paying much attention to anything tonight. A bored expression rested on her face as they walked through the graveyard. Her eyes did broad, slow sweeps of the area, never actually pausing on anything except for when they caught on-

Correction. Annie was paying attention to one thing tonight. Mikasa just didn't know what to make of the short yet lingering looks. She also didn't know why she kept glancing at Annie. By now, they had gone on enough patrols together that she knew that she didn't need to keep her eyes on her at all time. The sound of her gentle footsteps and feeling of her subtle warmth beside her should have been enough.

Yet she wanted to see her.

She supposed she could understand why. Annie had a unique beauty to her that was pleasant to look at. But that had nothing to do with slaying. Yes, the sword did enhance it to a degree, but the fact remained that Mikasa shouldn't be preoccupied with staring at her fellow slayer when there was work to be done.

What the hell was wrong with her?

Mikasa was snapped out of her thoughts by a deep growl splitting the air. She turned on her heel to find herself face-to-face with a large, orange, scaled demon. The demon swung at her with one great clawed hand, which she blocked with her sword while twisting out of its reach. The sword's blade struggled against the demon's scales. When she drew it back, she noticed that only a thin line of green blood had been left behind.

The demon hissed at her, fangs flaring out, and lashed at her again. Mikasa easily jumped back. It was tempting to rush in, but with an opponent like this, she wanted to find a weak point first.

A flash of blonde hair in the corner of her eye distracted her - or perhaps it triggered an epiphany. Even after the fact, she wouldn't be able to say which with absolute certainty.

Annie darted toward the demon. She feigned to the left, and when it moved to intercept, slashed her sword against the right side of the stomach. The demon let out a furious roar as green fluid began to spurt from its wound. Then, with surprising speed, it brought its hand down on Annie's chest and shoved , sending her stumbling back and tumbling to the cemetery ground.

That was the opening Mikasa needed. She rushed at the demon's back, aimed the tip of her sword at the demon's heart, and shoved with all her might.

The sword went straight through the demon's chest. It let out a throaty scream and thrashed for half a second before slumping forward. There it lingered for half a second before exploding in a hail of thick green goop.

Mikasa automatically staggered back and raised her arm to spare her face from the worst of the carnage.

Annie wasn't so lucky. When she lowered her arm, she saw the blonde sprawled on the ground, sputtering as she tried to use her sleeve to wipe demon guts off her face. Long strings of dark green slung to her hair while bright green blood ran down her neck in rivulets. When she pulled her hand back to reveal her disgruntled expression, Mikasa noticed the streaks of green that still clung to her jawline, cheeks, and forehead.

It was disgusting.

Yet, somehow, it was also beautiful.

With blood rushing through her veins and the world seemingly standing still around them, Mikasa held a hand out to Annie. She offered her a smile that she hoped came across as encouraging despite the odd way it pulled at her lips. "Good job," she said.

Annie scoffed as she took her hand and let Mikasa pull her back up. "That thing got a hit in," she said. "That's not what I'd call a good job."

"You gave me a window to kill it," Mikasa pointed out.

"I guess," Annie murmured.

"Aren't you the one who likes to talk about teamwork?" Mikasa asked, a teasing hint leaking into her voice. In her chest, her heart pounded harder than it had any right to. Maybe it was the adrenaline. Or maybe, maybe...

Annie scoffed and rolled her eyes. It was offset by the faint curl of her lips and the twinkle that burst to life in her eyes.

She was beautiful.

And suddenly, Mikasa realized what was going on between her and Annie. It was a revelation, great and terrifying, the recognition of the nature of the energy between them, the connection, the attraction.

Mikasa knew that she was being reckless. She knew that she might regret it. But in that moment, with her heart pounding in her chest, adrenaline rushing through her veins, and blood covering the both of them, she didn't care. Right now, all she could focus on was that Annie was there, the only girl in the world who could understand what she went through, and the heat and tension crackled between them like an electric coil. They were both there and they were both alive .

What were the odds of that happening?

How long would it stay that way?

At that moment, the answer was clear. Not long enough to wait.

"Annie," Mikasa said, grabbing her wrist and taking a step closer.

The other slayer turned toward her. She moved to say something, but as her eyes caught Mikasa's, Annie closed her mouth and shifted closer to her.

For a moment, they just stared at each other, caught in the moment and each other's eyes.

Then, before this moment of reckless bravery could wear out, Mikasa kissed her.

Annie tasted like blood. Somehow, she couldn't imagine anything else.

[mirthful-sonnet]

Rise Above the Ashes

AO3

                       Chapter 1

There was a ray of sunlight filtering through the tall trees. Jean shielded his face against the brightness, not really knowing how he got there. Before him, there was a road flanked by rocks and thickets leading into the greenery of the forest. He kept on walking in what seemed like an eternal journey into nowhere. His voyage continued until he suddenly heard the burbling noises of water. The more he walked the clearer he heard it.

He finally emerged from the forest into the shore of a large river. The picture before him was breathtaking, and he wished he had brought his drawing book to try to replicate what he was seeing. He stepped closer and took in the pristine surface of the river, the gentle ripples from the water, the bright song of the nearby birds, and the tiny colorful fishes he could make out from above the surface.

In the distance, he noticed a movement. At first, he thought it must have been a tree trunk, or an animal. But the closer it got, the more confused he got trying to make out what it was. He froze suddenly.

The body was lying upwards, its arms stretched wide as if waiting for an embrace. The cadet uniform was barely discernible. Jean didn’t have to look any closer to know who it was.

Marco

There was another movement in his periphery, and despite his frozen state and the overwhelming need to run away, he fixed his eyes onto the next corpse. Brown hair and a bloody smile, even in death.

Sasha

Soon, thousands of bodies were floating down the river, the rippling water slowly being tainted in blood that reached Jean’s bare feet. He could not move from his fixed place at the shore, staying rooted to the spot. He wanted to scream, but no noise would come out. It felt as if he was being bound and strangled by an invisible force.

The last thing he noticed was another body floating near him, the black hair and red scarf standing out amongst the thousands of floating corpses. This time the scream finally tore out of his throat.

Jean shot up in his bed, his breath coming out in short gasps. He finally made out where he was, noticing a plain wall and feeling the rocking motions of the boat. His sweaty shirt clung to him like a second skin as he tried to catch his breath.

“Jean?”

Reiner’s groggy voice came from the other bed. He could not really make out where his friend was as he had his knuckles pressed to his eyes so hard that he could see spots.      

“It’s nothing,” he murmured. “Just another nightmare.”

“You were screaming a name,” Reiner said, turning to him in his own bed, “Mikasa’s name to be exact.”

Jean glared at him, though it was barely visible in the scant light of their room.

“Go back to sleep already,” he snapped. “We have an important day ahead of us.” He was referring to their upcoming arrival in Paradis, the home he had not seen in almost three years. Jean only heard a small murmur from Reiner before laying back on his bed, not bothering to pull back the covers.

“Reiner?” He said after a pause.

“Hmm?”

“Don’t tell anyone about this.” he said. “Please.”

He heard a snort and a shuffle on Reiner’s side, “Don’t worry, Jeanboy, I won’t.” Reiner replied before falling asleep.

In truth, Jean did not know why he was thinking of Mikasa now. He was often plagued by nightmares ever since he saw his best friend’s mangled dead body all those years ago, but Mikasa had never appeared in them. He had not really thought much about her in these past years, only having sporadic thoughts on how she was doing and where she was.

Armin had found a way to correspond with her during their time as refugees in Marley and told him that he should write to her at least once. But Jean did not listen ; Armin’s reassurance that she was alive and okay was more than enough for him.

He had to admit a simple fact: that he was anxious about the possibility of meeting Mikasa again. He figured that his nervousness had somehow seeped into his nightmares. The possibility of meeting her again brought up old memories of heartache as well as happiness during their time as soldiers. Right now, he only hoped that she was okay.

He turned in his bed with a groan and tried to fall asleep again, only to stay awake until the calls for all passengers to get up and have breakfast were heard.

-o- 

Ever since they arrived in Paradis, time seemed to pass in a blur of meetings, paperwork, arguments, proposals, and unbearable tension. The presence of the military in their sessions at the main headquarters did not make their objective any easier. Their hostility was palpable, especially towards Armin, the self-proclaimed killer of Eren Jaeger. In their eyes, Armin was their ultimate enemy.

Still, the blonde kept his head up, striking up conversations and carrying himself with an ease that was almost enviable. Jean had to act as his second in command, which meant he had to help stir their conversations in the right direction and be Armin’s main support.  

They had been in Mitras for almost two weeks when Historia suddenly turned up at their lodgings in the city. The young queen told them that she wanted them to accompany her to her farm so they could meet her family. It had come as a surprise, considering that ever since her former comrades had arrived in Paradis, she had been exceedingly formal with them.

Jean figured that she had to thread very carefully, considering that the government was currently being run by a faction that was already hostile to them. He found himself admiring her resilience. Something about her made her appear more mature now than her young years would reflect. They were in no position to decline her invitation, especially when the queen suddenly mentioned that Mikasa would be there waiting for them as well.

The nervousness he had been feeling during their trip came back. This was stupid. She had been a dear friend to him, so he did not understand why he was feeling this self-conscious. He barely registered Historia leaving and Reiner speaking to him.

“I’m curious about this husband of hers,” Reiner said, an undertone of envy in his voice.

“I told you to stop going after married women. It’s embarrassing.” Jean retorted.

“Hey, I’m not going after anyone,” Reiner said, throwing up his hands in mock surrender. “I’m just curious, that’s all!”

“You’ll get us in serious trouble one day,” Pieck commented from her place in the sofa of the living room before standing up, “I’m going to sleep. You should all probably do the same,” she said while making her way to the apartment’s stairs. Annie and Armin agreed and followed her. Connie was still out, as his family had arrived in the city to reunite with him. Meanwhile, Jean’s mind was still reeling.

“Hey, are you okay?” Pieck murmured to Jean as she passed him by, concern on her sleepy features.

“I’m alright,” he reassured her. “I’ll follow up soon, don’t worry.”

He had formed an unlikely friendship with the former warrior, her weirdness sometimes reminding him of Sasha. His time at the Marleyan shelter during the aftermath of the rumbling was made a lot easier because of her presence. After reassuring her and telling his friends he would wait for Connie to come back, he found himself alone.

Jean sat down and blankly stared up at the ceiling, thinking of everything that had transpired since they arrived. He had been finally able to see his mother some days ago. She was in such an emotional state that she could barely make out words at the sight of her son. She kept sobbing and holding him as if he would escape and not appear for another three years again. Once upon a time, he would have been embarrassed by her reaction, but he wasn’t that proud boy anymore. He could only hold her just as strongly as she did in his large frame, finally feeling some semblance of home and belonging.  

Jean’s thoughts moved back to Mikasa, feeling a mix of anticipation and dread at the idea of seeing her again. He had been sure that he got over his unrequited love for a long time, but the prospect of seeing her made him confused. She had been appearing in both his dreams and his nightmares since they came here, and he was even fixing himself up in case they would see her.

He had brushed off Pieck’s curiosity about his sudden concern about his looks with a dumb joke, but in truth he had been hoping to see her again. It was frustrating to still have these conflicting feelings about Mikasa when she had never seen him as anything more than a comrade and friend.

Her heart belonged to Eren in life, as well as in death, and that was a fact he had to accept. The sudden thought of Eren brought a new kind of pain, which he shut away immediately. He finally resolved to stay out of her way once they met her. It was for the best.

-o- 

Historia’s little daughter brought an unexpected brightness into their tedious routine. The girl was currently gurgling in Jean’s arms, grabbing at his facial hair which made everyone laugh. The young queen had allowed each of them to hold her daughter, and the toddler had been especially fascinated with Jean and his goatee. He could not wrap his head around the fact that Historia was a mother, and from what little he saw he knew this little creature in his arms was Historia’s entire world. The toddler now attempted to grab his hair, and Historia’s husband immediately moved to grab her.

“Alright little one, that’s enough for now.” the farmer said, grabbing his babbling daughter and moving away while cooing at her.

The man had been more than courteous to each of them, guiding them around the farm and showing them the new changes around it and the orphanage, which he currently administered while his wife was away attending other matters. They made a lovely family despite the unorthodox way they came to be together.  Jean wondered if he would ever be able to fit such a picture in his own life one day.

“Ymir is still a little too curious about everything she sees.” The man said, while balancing the little girl on his hip. When the girl’s name was first revealed, Jean was inevitably taken back to the old days when their old comrade was still alive. He couldn’t help but look at Reiner and noticed a hint of shock and melancholy in his face, especially when it was his turn to hold the little girl in his arms.

“Don’t hold out hope that she will ever change, she’s a rascal.” Historia said while moving to grab the girl who was now reaching out to her. A voice suddenly caught their attention.

“Armin…”

They had all been so caught up in touring the place and being introduced to Historia’s family that hearing Mikasa’s voice surprised them all. Jean turned around and saw her standing in the hallway, her eyes wide as she stared at Armin. She looked quite different from the last time he saw her.

Mikasa and Armin stared at each other for a while in disbelief, before moving and crashing together in a tight embrace. Armin raised her up and held her closer against him, and Jean did not have to look any closer to know that they were both crying. Everyone looked away respectfully as their sobs echoed throughout the room. Wanting to give them privacy, Historia quietly guided them all outside of the room and left the two estranged friends alone. Jean looked back at them one last time with a sad smile before heading out of the room and following the rest of the group.        

-o- 

“You’re being ridiculous,” Jean said to Reiner. Much to his amusement, it turned out that Reiner now had a secret infatuation with Historia’s husband. During their touring he had acted quite flustered around the farmer, but Jean did not pay much attention to it, thinking that it had something to do with Reiner’s jealousy.  

“Why are the good ones always married?” Reiner said exasperatedly, “I’m cursed to being forever alone.”

Jean just rolled his eyes. They were staying in a shared room at Historia’s residency. While he was irritated, he was also secretly glad to see Reiner behaving normally again. They all had their physical and emotional wounds from the war, but Reiner was hit harder than anyone. He could recall having conversations with Reiner in their shelter, until the blonde’s eyes would glaze over and stare blankly at nothing.

On some days, his mood would change drastically, from exceedingly cheerful to withdrawn and depressed. And in other occasions he would forget who he even was.  Jean knew that Reiner had a disorder, but he did not know how to help his former comrade and felt utterly helpless whenever Reiner had these episodes. He had enough bad memories to last a lifetime, but watching Reiner slowly break down before him was particularly painful. Reiner was eventually taken out of the shelter and checked into a mental facility for a time.

He found some comfort in thinking about Reiner now in comparison to before. Despite the pain that he still felt about Marco, he found space in his heart for forgiveness, and he wanted to see Reiner be the easy going and protective person he had always been. This journey for peace was their chance.  

His thoughts were interrupted by Armin entering their shared room. He had been spending most of the days at the farm with Mikasa. The Ackerman had greeted them the day of their arrival once she and Armin had been ready to come out. There was plenty of laughter and tears in their reunion. Jean had given her an embrace and told her they had all missed her, to which she had only smiled and told him she was glad to see him. She looked more beautiful than he remembered.

In the following days, they had been engaging in various activities and there were new meetings to be held in Historia’s residency. Mikasa had accompanied them in some activities around the orphanage, but Jean avoided her or found a way to be involved in something else.

“Where were you?” Jean asked Armin as he sat down in his corner, looking tired.

“I spent the day with Mikasa, we were at the orphanage and then she showed me around the nearby town.” Armin replied.

Jean only nodded, he understood that they wanted to make the most of their time together, especially since they had not seen each other in three years.

“Where were you though?” Reiner asked him with a raised eyebrow, “We were all at the orphanage and you were nowhere to be seen.”

“I was taking care of all the paperwork. Soon enough we’ll be leaving, and we need to make our proposals clear.” Jean replied.

Armin nodded, making a small pause, “Mikasa was wondering where you were too. You’re free to do as you like, but you don’t have to be a stranger. She’s your friend too, you know.”

Jean gulped and kept silent, feeling a little bad. He was probably exaggerating and some quality time with Mikasa wouldn’t hurt. He still felt uneasy around her for some reason, but if the chance came, he would try to talk to her more. Still, he wasn’t planning on letting anything distract him too much.

-o- 

Jean looked at the trail before him, knowing that this was the right way. Armin had revealed to him that Eren’s grave was not too far away from their location, and he told him where it was. He had tried to avoid any intrusive thoughts about Eren but being here at the farm had brought on a barrage of memories. The pain was still fresh, and it felt as if his friend had left them just yesterday.

He tightened his coat around his body since the day was quite windy. As he walked, he took in the rolling hills and rustling fields of wheat. If one looked hard enough to the distance, the slight shape of the now ruined walls could be seen.

Jean kept on walking, holding down his hat when the wind got stronger. The shape of the tree could be seen now, its branches swaying slightly in the wind. Jean finally reached the bottom of the small hill where the tree was, taking in the sight of Eren’s final resting place. He took a deep breath, processing everything that he was seeing.

He climbed up the hill slowly, facing the small headstone at the root of the tree. He felt a sudden rush of indescribable feelings tearing at him as he knelt in front of the grave. There were so many things he wanted to say even if no one could hear him. He truly missed the bastard. But the sudden noise of footsteps interrupted him from his revelry, making him turn around.  

In a way, he was simultaneously surprised and not at all surprised at seeing Mikasa standing there, staring at him curiously.

“M-Mikasa,” he stuttered, mortified at the realization that there were tears on his face. He frustratingly wiped them away, avoiding eye contact.

“I’m sorry I startled you-” she started but Jean did not let her finish her apology.

“No, please don’t apologize Mikasa,” he rushed to say, still not looking at her. An uncomfortable silence followed. He had no idea what to do.

“So...” They both spoke in unison after a while. It made them laugh, the air around them easing considerably.

“I can leave if you want.” she offered, to which he shook his head.

“No, you can stay, I wasn’t planning on staying for long anyway.”

Mikasa moved, setting a hand on Jean’s shoulder as if to keep him from getting up. She sat down beside him.

“You are more than welcome here,” she said. “I think he would be happy.”

“I hope so,” Jean murmured and there was another silence, this time more comfortable.

“You know,” Mikasa broke the silence, “If you weren’t so busy, I would say you’ve been avoiding me.”

Jean looked down, feeling guilty. “I’m sorry Mikasa, I don’t know where my head’s been at lately.”

Mikasa only hummed in response, wrapping her arms around her knees. “You don’t have to apologize; I’m not entitled to your time. I was simply curious.”

“It has nothing to do with you personally, I just…” Jean trailed off, not knowing how to explain it to her. “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He finally said, putting it in the simplest way possible.

Mikasa frowned. “Why would you make me uncomfortable? You’ve been a dear friend to me through the years. If anything, your presence would make me very happy.”

Jean flushed at that, avoiding her stare. “That’s-that’s good,” he muttered lamely. He felt like such an idiot.

A strong gust of wind caught their attention, making the small flowers growing of the branches fall in a flutter around them. They stared in wonder at the scene, falling into another comfortable silence.

His thoughts had somehow turned back to Eren, and he felt like he had to say something. He was sure she would understand.

“I miss Eren,” he said.

She stared at him in sympathy, “I miss him too.”

His throat was closing up, and he felt a surge of boldness. “There were so many things I wanted to tell him, so many memories that I feel like I didn’t appreciate enough. Even though he drove me insane, I did love him. And now he’s gone.” Jean’s voice broke, but at this point he didn’t care. He knew Mikasa would never ridicule him for it.

It was true, despite their constant fights Eren had been dear to him too, and he had not taken his death well. His bottled-up feelings were spilling forth, and he was happy that if anyone got to see it, it was Mikasa. Though he still felt slightly embarrassed.

“I’m sorry, this is stupid.” he said, wiping away fresh tears, and putting his hand on top of the headstone.

“There’s nothing stupid or wrong about this.” Mikasa replied, and he felt her hand suddenly resting on top of his. “You know I’m here for you, right?”

Her words only made him want to cry harder. He nodded, and they sat there for long minutes as the sun began to set. Their hands remained joined together on top of the headstone, and they knew that even though they were both hurting, they were also not alone. They had each other.

-0-

Just me coping with the ending and the leaks. There is more to come. Huge thanks to @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie for beta reading this! You’re the best around <3 <3