#the game making it clear that it wasn't humanity as a whole that destroyed everything

[kodokugumon]

Just finished stray tonight lads

and boy am I going through it

[hamliet]

BSD 112: War and Peace

Now that the manga has finally caught up to the anime, I shall say that I am still pretty convinced Fyodor will pull a Jesus and be fine.

That said, I hella loved this chapter. The themes, man. Essentially Fukuchi is inviting Fukuzawa to become God, though I would NOT be surprised to see a certain new character show up considering this entire chapter is basically Fukuchi and Fukuzawa trading paraphrased quotes from A Certain Novel.

It's a battle of free will vs peace, and how we walk that line as individuals and societies... war is futile and hell, and pointless because what even is a state anyways besides some arbitrary idea we've all agreed to for... reasons, and yet if you remove the ability for war and conflict as a whole, you don't really have humanity but instead mind-controlled slaves.

War is not a polite recreation, but the vilest thing in life, and we ought to realize this and not make a game of it... as it stands now it's the favorite pastime of the idle and frivolous.”

Every action of theirs, that seems to them an act of their own freewill is in the historical sense not free at all but is bound up with the whole course of history and preordained from all eternity... Man lives consciously for himself, but serves as an unconscious instrument for the achievement of historical, universally human goals.

It's true that people are born where they are born, and caught up in the stories that are grander than they are. Everyone likes to imagine what they know and what they experience and what they want and believe is True, but is it? Or is it merely a product of how they've grown? Is it a product of the centuries and millennia of people before us who create wars and conflicts and use us in them?

Yes, humans are used as unconscious instruments. But is that all they are? All they should be? Fukuchi seems to think yes. If they're currently used as instruments of war, then why not use them. as instruments of peace?

Fukuzawa, however, thinks otherwise.

It's an existential question humanity has been wrestling over since human beings have existed, and it won't be answered anytime soon because there is no neat answer. It's the paradox of human nature and human existence.

He had learned that, as there is no situation in the world in which a man can be happy and perfectly free, so there is no situation in which he can be perfectly unhappy and unfree.

Dictatorships are known, obviously, for suppressing free will and free expression.

Now, in War and Peace, Tolstoy's answer is love. And God, who is Love. But love first and foremost since Tolstoy himself wasn't super religious when writing it (later on he was though).

Seize the moments of happiness, love and be loved! That is the only reality in the world, all else is folly. It is the one thing we are interested in here.

Yet, if you remove the ability to choose love or violence, then:

A man having no freedom cannot be conceived of except as deprived of life. 

And it's pretty clear what lesson Fukuchi has to learn:

Life is everything. Life is God. Everything shifts and moves, and this movement is God. And while there is life, there is delight in the self-awareness of the divinity. To love life is to love God. The hardest and most blissful thing is to love this life in one's suffering, in the guiltlessness of suffering.

Life sucks. War is hell. It makes life feel like it's not worth living. But without free will, you are not alive at all.

For if we allow that human life is always guided by reason, we destroy the premise that life is possible at all.

Anyways, even if Leo Tolstoy does not appear as an actual character with the supreme ability of "War and Peace," well, he sure is influencing this arc a lot.

[siriannatan]

Canary and A Mermaid

LimitedLife / Au / Flower Husbands

I'm putting the entirety of the blame for this existing on Scott settling on the water.

Might have some mild (thus no tag) Limited Life spoilers

Song Jimmy's singing: Steffan Argus – Ship in a Bottle

AO3

Scott heard more warnings about humans than he cared to count. Martyn warned him The weird harpies did (Cleo, Bdoubs, Scar), the dwarves (Tango, Impulse, Skizz), and the weird elf (Etho) living with the dwarves all warned him whenever they passed by the lake or saw him just floating down a river. But when the weird humans settled in an old ruined house by one of Scott's favourite smaller lakes, he could not help his curiosity and watched them instead running back home as everyone told him to do.

There were three of them. All rather loud and obnoxious when together. The two shorter ones remained noisy even when separated from the rest. but the tall and pretty one would get quiet and just mumble something Scott couldn't quite catch from his hiding spots.

And he played a small instrument with strings and sang pretty well for a not a mermaid. Scott was somewhat tempted to join in but he didn't know the songs and didn't want to destroy the nice melody so he just listened and tried repeating it when alone. Martyn would be so angry if he knew.

Most of the songs the human - Jimmy as others called him - sang were happy and cheerful. At least from what Scott could understand. He was not an idiot so he usually observed from a fair distance and Jimmy didn't sing too loudly anyway so he could have missed something.

You can fit everything you know In a bottle for you to show Pick your brain apart and put it in And build it again with needles and pins...

Jimmy started in a forlorn, shaky voice, pulling at the strings. He was sat on the sandy bank of the small (by Scott's standards) lake. Barely paying any attention to his instrument as he looked up at the clear sky. Scott couldn't really see his face but he slowly got louder and louder and...

Oh, captain, let's make a deal Where we both say the things that we both really feel I feel scared and I'm starting to sink And I only sink deeper the deeper I think Oh, captain, oh, captain, deal Oh, captain, deal, oh, captain, deal, oh

There are red spots under your eyes From when you cry into the sky Ocean waters rising above your neck, mmm You feel the glass start to crack

Scott was a simple man, for a mermaid. He liked pretty things and Jimmy's voice was really pretty so of course on the next 'Oh, captain, oh, captain, deal Oh, captain, deal, oh, captain, deal, oh' he joined in and clearly startled the human who froze to look for the source of the noise. And now Scott had to decide if he should flee or stay and talk to Jimmy.

Scott obviously chose to stay. He'd care about Martyn's warnings later. Nothing he saw about the humans made him scared. And it wasn't like they swam that well anyway so if he was wrong he could just swim away. "Sorry, I couldn't help it," he said after pulling himself onto a rock a bit closer to the coast but not so close Jimmy could just grab him. "You've got a nice voice," he smiled fanning out his earfins. 

Jimmy was shocked to say the least. One moment he was having his me time away from Joel and Grian and the next there was a whole damn mermaid in front of him. That's not what 'retirement' was supposed to be. But here he was. "Um... I'm sorry if I disturbed you?" he offered. Offending magical creatures was a very bad idea. And even if this one said it liked Jimmy's voice it could be some game. Better save than sorry, and Jimmy had nothing to defend himself with. He was not expecting any creatures this close to the ruined mansion they set up camp in. 

"No, no, I live in a different lake, this one's a bit too small for that," the mermaid smiled and showed off pearly white, sharp as-heck, pointy teeth. "I like your singing, it was a nice song, I'm sorry I interrupted," the mermaid said and slipped off the rock. 

Jimmy expected it to get bored and left so he was a bit shocked when teal hair broke water just by the beach and the mermaid left the water. Teal scales morphed into a pair of pale legs. And to Jimmy's dread, all it was wearing now was a tunic, stopping barely at his thighs, made of weird, almost translucent material. and it was wet and clung to their skin.

"Um... I kind of have to..." Jimmy started saying but the mermaid sat next to him on the ground and smiled. Jimmy hoped it was supposed to be a smile.

"Can we sing together sometime?" it asked before Jimmy could collect his thoughts. "The name's Scott, by the way, and I already kind of know yours."

"Su... sure?" Jimmy stammered out and got an even wider and scarier smile in return.

"Great, unfortunately, I have to go, but next time I won't be hiding, don't worry," Scott said leaning in and gave Jimmy a kiss on the cheek and was gone. No goodbye or anything. Just gone as suddenly as he appeared. Almost as if Jimmy imagined him. But the cold feeling on his cheek persisted and there was a wet patch on his shirt from when Scott's hand briefly rested on his shoulders.

After a minute of just sitting there, Jimmy hurried back to the mansion. Before Scott changed his mind about eating him.

Back on his way home Scott was beyond giddy for the next meeting with Jimmy. He was even cuter up close.

[egg-emperor]

Can't even lie, I really don't like the headcanon of Eggman being lonely, insecure, completely deeply miserable, etc. Sorry to those who do, I can respect that it's not for me and not bother you in your discussion of it. But it honestly just makes me really sad and uncomfortable to consider. Along with all the other angsty "Eggman is lonely and sad and miserable and insecure/has a tragic past" theories I always see. I just hope it never becomes the case in game canon

The games don't hint towards it currently. Not even in Frontiers like I see some say it does, as being jealous of Maria getting attention that he felt entitled to because of his ego and regarding it with more importance over her terminal illness and tragic death, is just him being the selfish bratty attention wh0re he's always been. Ian Flynn himself even said that he was a "biased narrator" on this. I really don't think it was implying that he was genuinely neglected or lonely at all.

I like that he actually LOVES being who he is and doing what he does. He gleefully acknowledges that he's evil and embraces it. You can see that he always has a blast doing his thing with his big smile and giddiness and the only time he's miserable is when he's defeated, but his determination to keep him trying comes from his passion more than hatred for his enemies, not just for accomplishing his dreams but also for the clear enjoyment he gets in the actual process too.

He's also genuinely self confident and loving too, as we know even when talking privately like the Egg Memos, he praises and regards himself just as highly as ever- it's not an act. That's why he feels the entire world belongs to him with so much certainty! Not everyone who has a big ego is trying to hide insecurities, it's never implied to be the case with Eggman in the games. And I think his self love can be inspiring in a way for that, even though it's to an egotistical degree XD

And I truly believe he likes being alone too, as it's not implied that he dislikes living alone and far away from all other human life- he seems very comfortable. He only lives around his own creations probably because he can make them into exactly who he wants them to be, control them in the ways he wants to control everyone else in the world someday, and they're always only created for the sake of evil and serving him- not for company. He doesn't express a need for that.

Plus I feel it's more accurate that he would see himself too superior for the close presence of others anyway and he wants to keep distance from those unworthy and below him aside from assistants. It actually seems that he is easily agitated within the province of others and has a very short temper around absolutely everyone, enemies, servants, those he teams up with and all and I LOVE that lol. And I can imagine that he prefers to be alone with his own brilliant mind and company.

I truly feel he only wants attention and worship from the whole world from afar, not a few people in close presence. Especially because if he had the latter, he'd surely say it wasn't enough. What he really wants is for the whole world to be under his control and for everyone to give him attention, praise, worship, and serve him in his glorious empire! Everyone and everything is below him for him to control, none are worthy of his close presence and couldn't meet his impossible standards.

He'll be the happiest that he can ever be if his dreams come true permanently but he clearly enjoys the process of wreaking havoc, destroying, manipulating, and scheming and the anticipation of success in itself too. I love how passionate he is about who he is, what he does, and what he wants and his self love and pride. It makes me really happy to see how happy he is and the idea of him secretly being lonely, miserable, and insecure is just very sad to me as a result.

But I see tons of things in the games that seem to point towards the opposite and that's one of the many things I adore about him 💜

[lesser-mook]

Avengers 3: Infinity War (Good movie but the message is clear. People are just dense.)

This movie is very well executed depopulation propaganda with two meanings: First one is the powers that be are getting good at masking the agenda in pretty aesthetics.

And two, people are really dense to ignore the argument Thanos is making, the consequences of overpopulation are a reality.

(Though it's ironic that many countries today are experiencing birthrate drops, for a variety of reasons)

The impressionable masses won't get the consequences of that reality until their local markets shelves get lighter and lighter. Until their babies can't get formula, until their family's table gets dusty.

You only give a shit until it affects you.

Only then will they understand Thanos wasn't correct but he was right.

Confusing pragmatism of the issues with morality.

Thanos isn't smiling because he killed trillions of people, he's smiling because he knows he saved the whole in the longterm, and he did.

There's going to be economic disaster to losing workers, professionals with skills, unborn babies, pilots managing planes mid-flight, cranes, industrial operations, surgeons in the middle of operations etc.

It's not about the individual, it's about the species surviving itself. He was proven right with Gamora's planet doing better and his own Planet titan being destroyed by itself.

Can't just ignore that reality because his methods to fix the problem are messy. That's how the agenda is sold to you

"See? The means don't matter because the ends are justified."

Because in the face of overpopulation what was the Avengers gonna do? Nothing.

You could say he could just snap more food into existence, and yet that just enables the surplus, that encourages people to just keep expanding until literally whatever is left of the planet is either corporate ash or ruin.

Whales dying, sea is dying, extinction of animals, now humans are making moves on the Amazon rainforest, they just will not stop until everything is destroyed or covered in pavement & price tags.

And they keep popping out kids that they don’t want to train to be useful, not raising adults to contribute something.

Just raising NPC’s to be an accessory, born just because one wanted to possess a baby like a new toy because of how that’d make one “feel”. Because having a child is an optic move more than anything for many, which is partly how you get criminals to begin with, excess births that didn’t need to happen if the intentions were not 100% all in, it's going to show eventually in the product: The child.

You don’t get anomalies like a rapist IF the parents did their goddamn jobs. You only get that, if the people with the power to spread didn’t need to work or be qualified to do it in the first place, it’s too easy to do it, which is why nobody does it properly.

Dude wasn't morally correct to kill so many, but why he did it was right, because Earth isn't just a planet for humans- the more humans running around, that influx is making the entire system suffer.

So imagine other species with bigger planets and bigger populations & the issues they're having because reproduction is an idiots task that takes no qualification, training, or skill, just time to kill, too much time.

The source of the problem.

Thanos wasn't correct but he was right.

And unfortunately it's moot, because eventually the population will catch up, that's the crucial point the movie misses, if you get rid of half the problem will eventually repeat, generations from now but it will repeat.

Gov. Regulation of reproduction is one way the powers that be might want to fix the issue themselves, 1984 essentially. And i'm sure plenty more films have already done that.

Either that or drive women and men apart on a socio-cultural level which is already been happening for the past 30 years since the 90s to 2000 and really kicked off post 2010.

So a fast play and long game play that requires less martial law.

They've been pushing this agenda for yeeears man, Infinity War is good, but it's subtle. And it goes right over people's heads, that's effective propaganda.

[sophi-s]

Cost of Kindness

Chapter I: Chance encounter

By: sophi-s

Fandom: Darksiders video games

Words: 6,471

Characters: Original female character (OC), Raphael

Warnings: Graphic description of corpses, blood and injuries, disturbing imagery, swearing

Summary:

Life of a human after the apocalypse is difficult. The world seems to always be against them. Still, they keep on living. But one day something unexpected happens to one of the inhabitants of Haven. A woman named Nicola discovered something... or rather someone... who seemed to be in equally as sorry state as her entire race put together. Nothing was the same ever since. It's curious how one seemingly random event can change everything...

--------------------------------------------------

Nicola got lost again. All the promises she made to both Ulthane and Jones have gone into trash when with a pang of worry she's suddenly realised she does not know where Haven is. It was supposed to be a short supply run, a little trip to some ruined store in search of food and maybe some medicine if luck wished to be on her side and it turned into a whole day long journey. She hadn't been careful enough and ended up getting spotted. She was too fast for that Trauma to get to her before she disappeared into a narrow alley but she successfully lost her orientation.

Navigating through the city used to be so easy before all this apocalypse nonsense. Nicola knew her way around better than anyone honestly. Now everything looked different. What once was her home now seemed sinister and the animosity could be felt in every, even the tiniest speck of dust. All streets, previously so familiar to her, looked exactly the same, often cut in half by obsidian spikes and pits of boiling magma which made moving around even more troubling. In short words, the entire place was a wreckage. With each moment of aimless wandering, her panic was growing. Inwardly cursing, thinking about all the reprimanding she would get after she somehow finds her way back and the fact that she's most likely going to get grounded forever, she tried to move through the street as quietly as possible, without causing any unnecessary noises. Becoming an evening snack for a pack of Goreclaws or a Trauma wasn't a very attractive fate. The latter could still be around here somewhere and the blood spilling from a cut on her forehead she got when she accidentally ran into a wooden beam protruding from a wall wasn't going to make it harder for it to eventually find her again.. It was very unlikely that the Trauma could've gotten stuck in that alley after it tried to get to her. They are dumb. But not that dumb. Though the mental image alone was quite hilarious now that she thinks about it.. To some extent imagining a Trauma helplessly shuffling to try and unstuck itself from a narrow pathway made her feel a tad better, even crack a little smile. Still, she had to think of something. She'd already lived through too much to just die at this point.

Evening? Clutching a shotgun in her shaking hands, Nicola looks out at the amber sky and her heart hastens when she realises that it really is getting late. The last rays of sun were slowly sinking behind the horizon, slowly turning the sky from warm orange to indigo as the tall buildings bathed the city in deep shadows stretching over the ground like dark omens. Just perfect. There was no other choice for her than to hide somewhere and wait until dawn and resume her search tomorrow, hoping someone will start looking for her. Going anywhere after the dusk was an equivalent of a  suicide. Demons and the Wicked tend to be especially active after the nightfall.. Nicola would rather not bump into one of the Suffering either, those things are especially nasty. Hulking, four-armed abominations melded with bodies of the dead, bringing back all those poor souls who weren't lucky enough to get away… she shudders at the thought and hastens her pace.

Most of the houses were already destroyed and usually infested with all kinds of detestable creatures she'd rather avoid - from Wicked, through all kinds of demons and Duskwings, to enormous spiders ready to cocoon any unfortunate passerby for a snack - unfit to be a shelter. But honestly, what wasn't crawling with Hellspawn these days? They were everywhere, as far as the sight can reach. Heaving out a long suffering sigh, Nicola decided to hide underneath the city, hoping she won't find any monsters there.

That was not one of her most brilliant ideas but in truth whatever she chose, it would be just as bad and she hardly cared at this point. Her legs felt as though they went a couple of inches up her arse from all day of walking and running and her empty stomach growled hungrily as she didn't get a chance to stop and eat a sandwich hidden in her backpack. It didn't take long to find a lid of a well leading to the sewers below. Just in case, Nicola dug some new shells out from her backpack and shoved them into her pocket to have easy access to them before pulling the lid out and uncovering a stinking hole in the pavement. The strong "aroma" that drifted out hit her like a brick to the face.

"Ugh.."

Nicola groaned, pinching her nose. Even after the literal armageddon, she still found sewers to be one of the grossest things ever. Like, come on, that's where all the piss and shit goes and a person who enters the sewers for even a minute comes out coated in this stench. Oh well.. It can't be worse than getting torn to shreds by a Goreclaw, can it? Up here was definitely worse than below. Everything she'd met so far - except for Ulthane, Yarin and Elanya - was trying to kill her lately. At least there was no sign of the Big Bad anywhere… Nicola had seen the so-called Destroyer only once and it was enough to last her a lifetime, considering how close she'd been back then. The fact that he didn't spot her, she probably owed the fact that she was somewhere to his right and from what she'd seen his right eye wasn't exactly in good condition. Though, she couldn't deny that the dragon did look sick as Hell - she cringed inwardly at the bad joke her mind produced - and if she wasn't scared shittless and in danger of getting eaten or burned alive, she probably would've taken out her notebook and tried to sketch him. Not often does one see a dragon up this close and Nicola had a habit of drawing anything even remotely interesting she sees. And the more challenging the thing is, the better. In her sketchbook, she already had Ulthane and his younger companions, Vulgrim, some other demons and a Fallen. The last thing she did see pretty damn close. Too close for her liking.

Pulling her stained, dark-blue neckerchief up to her nose as a mostly useless mask against the foul smell, she crouches down and with a loose piece of a brick scratches out a message on the ground, hoping either Jones or some other survivor will find it.

I'M IN THE SEWER

NIKA <3

Just to make it clear, she tears a piece of her already ragged sleeve off and places it under the aforementioned brick next to the message. It's not much but it has to be enough… Without further ado, Nicola slid inside the dark hole and closed the lid above her head. Utter blackness immediately closed around her like a thick coverlet. A quiet sound of dripping, echoing through the tunnel was all that she could hear.

Plip. Plop. Plip. Plop.

Should've thought about taking out a flashlight before cutting off the only source of light.

Grumbling under her breath, Nicola jumped down from a small ladder. But instead of landing on the hard and straight ground, her feet connected with something soft and uneven. With a small yelp, she lost her balance and fell flat onto the actual floor with a wet "Thwack!". Please just be regular water… She begged the puddle underneath her as she scrambled to her feet and pulled the backpack from her shoulders. For a few minutes, she blindly searched through her things, probing for the light source. When her fingers found the flashlight and she turned it on however, she nearly screamed.

That thing she landed on wasn't a mound of garbage like she previously assumed but a body. Body of a dead Phantom General. Its skin was in an unhealthy pallid shade, misty eyes were bulging out of their sockets. And the squishy bit she landed on was its face. Nicola nervously laughs to herself

"Maybe the stench killed him?"

The thought of a large demon dying in a sewer just because it smells bad was kind of amusing and a little comforting. But then she realised that if that was the case, then there's nothing to laugh at. What if there are some poisonous gases in here? Hydrogen sulfide, for example? If it killed a demon, undoubtedly much more hearty, then why shouldn't it do so with a human?

"Shit.. I hope not…"

Nicola curses and immediately presses the neckerchief closer to her face like it would do her any good. Well, no point in wondering about it now. If she were to get poisoned then she probably already was so… Father would be so disappointed if he found out she died in a sewer by inhaling toxic gas. I should've paid more attention to chemistry lessons…  Anyway.. Standing here will not make it any better. She might as well find herself a place to rest for a while or forever. Unless healing shards work on that stuff, she had nothing on her to help should she get poisoned. Flinging her backpack over her shoulder, Nicola turns away from the corpse and peers into the dark pathway which opened before her like a gullet of a gargantuan monster waiting to swallow her whole. Having absolutely no idea that this choice would change her miserable life forever, she takes a breath and bravely moves onward.

The Phantom General wasn't the only one. As Nicola walked deeper into the dark, stinking corridor, she noticed more bodies. Goreclaws, Wicked, Phantom Guards, even a couple of Duskwings and - this was the most unsettling discovery - the serpentine Shadowcaster… all of them pale and wizened. An unnerving feeling grew in her stomach. Nicola had seen much death as of late but this… this was horrifying. It was like walking through a tomb or a mass grave. Up close she could see something she hadn't noticed before. Something that made her mouth turn sandpaper. All of the bodies seemed… dried for the lack of a better word. As though something had drained them of their blood, leaving only shriveled husks behind. But there were no wounds, no markings. Nicola gulps at the thought that whatever killed them might still be down here with her.

Backing away, she takes a turn into another section and curls up in a corner by a metal grate blocking the way ahead. Nicola turns the flashlight off and hugs her knees to her chest, trying to control her fearful breathing. Climbing down into the sewers wasn't such a good idea after all. What if… what if there are things far worse down here than the demons she'd already seen? Her parents often scared her with stories of monsters lurking in the dark pipes and winding tunnels when she was a child but those were only supposed to keep her away from the sewers. The true reason was always the toxic miasma drifting through them. Or so she thought as she grew older. Now it seems that the former turned out to be true… And if it murdered a Shadowcaster just like that, then it was a creature to be reckoned with, no doubt.

Whatever it is that hides in here, Nicola didn't want to meet it. Whether it was a classic sewer monster, grotesque, with teeth and tentacles, or something else it didn't matter. Looking down at her left wrist, where her blessedly still working electrical watch with sun batteries was, she squinted at the numbers it showed.

7:48 P.M.

This was going to be a long night… If she survives this, she would get out and return to the Tree, and tell Ulthane she will never leave again. Essentially, she'd ground herself for him. If she could find her way back, that is.. And this might prove rather tricky. Maybe if she could find a Serpent Hole and bribe Vulgrim to take her to Haven, it would be much easier. But then again, she will have to give him something. Aside from her soul, she had nothing he would be interested in and that she could still make use of. Damn it, why is it so cold in here? Pulling the zip of her vest up to her chin, she curls up even more and hides her hands in her pockets to seek any warmth she could find. The stench wasn't even phasing her anymore. Nicola got used to it after the first few minutes. Besides, her fear was what she was mostly focused on. At least she didn't feel anything that would hint at being poisoned.. Whatever deadly stuff was down here before must've dispersed some time after the apocalypse after the disuse of the sewers. And thank God for that..

Meow…

Her head snapped up at the echo coming from the tunnel she backed out from. It was very weak and quiet but she definitely heard something that sounded vaguely like a cat. A very small and very scared cat.

Meow…

There it was again. This time accompanied by a barely visible flash of light coming from the tunnel further down. Cursing her innate curiosity, she pulled herself up to her feet and snuck towards the entrance to her little hidey-hole. The light appeared again before slowly fading. It looked a little like… like someone was coming here with a broken flashlight. Could it… could it be someone from the Tree? Maybe another survivor lost their way in the sewers? Picking up her shotgun, she decides to check it out, the thoughts of a monster not forgotten per se, but definitely pushed to the back of her mind. Wary of every step she makes, she follows the light and the sounds of a distressed animal. Sleep was never an option anyway..

As she walked onwards, the lights were getting brighter, the meowing louder and the pounding of her heart faster. There were more corpses in various states of decay and skeletons strewn about the further she headed but she decided to stay brave. Should anything attack her, she has the shotgun at the ready. Something in her head laughed at her hysterically. How can she be so naive to think that if there's a monster down here her pathetic shotgun can do it much harm? It didn't have a problem with killing all those things. Why would it have a problem with Nicola and her weak human weapon? Besides, even if she did manage to defend herself, one shot from that thing would bring half of the city down on her head. And that was something she definitely wanted to avoid.

Meow!

Another flash. Her surroundings were slowly starting to change. The bodies were left behind and she started to notice wooden crates lying here and there as though someone meant to hide the passage further down. Was this a hide out if some sort? Flash again.

Meow!

And then…

"Hush, little one… I won't let them hurt you again…"

Nicola's heart hastened when a shaky voice reached her. There really was someone down here! However, she doesn't let her ecstasy control her. They don't necessarily have to be friendly. Everyone is permanently scared and paranoid since the apocalypse and if she jumped out from a dark sewer without a warning she's more likely to receive a bullet to the face than a warm welcome. A flash, very bright this time. Before, she didn't notice it but the light was actually… green? Soft, soothing shade of green. Who uses a green flashlight? Someone who didn't have any other. We're in an apocalypse, for God's sake. Shrugging, she sneaks up towards the turn and carefully peeks into the new corridor, unable to take the anticipation any longer. And she freezes.

There were many things Nicola expected to find. Even the sewer monster was higher on her list of possibilities. But not this. Before her, approximately fifteen feet or so, in a makeshift shelter made out of ratty curtains and wooden boxes sat a humanoid figure. They were wearing some sort of metal shoulder pads on their ragged, dark green clothing, worn and stained, once undoubtedly fine knee-high boots, and a tattered and dirty hood. The gilded edges of their pauldrons were smudged and tarnished, as were the clips of the belts on their hips and across their chest. A pair of disheveled, dusted grey, feathery wings was closed around them like two shields protecting their sides and keeping the warmth in the resulting heat cave. Through a gap between the feathers, she noticed strands of long, white hair in the similar state as the wings spilling from under the hood.

This was one of those… those angels who came as the apocalypse began. Only… This one didn't seem like the rest. They didn't look like one of the warriors. And were unarmed at that, she realises once she doesn't catch a sight of any sort of weapon nearby. 

Meow!

Nicola heard it clearly now, and trying to track down the source of the sound, her eyes wandered to a hand of the angel, one which they held close to their chest. And there, on their large palm rested a tiny ball of fluff with its fur clogged with blood. The angel was hunched over a wounded kitten, and from time to time they brought up the other hand and gently ran their trembling fingers wrapped in stained bandages over the jagged claw mark along its spine. The green light flared up from angel's fingertips as gradually the wound was stitching itself. A sorcerer then. If meeting Shadowcasters was any indicator, then it would be better not to mess with this one.

Meow!

The kitten cried again and the angel, now she was pretty sure it was a male, spoke with a soft and calming, but shaking voice that reached to the depth of her soul.

"Fret not… it will be over. Soon enough."

In honesty, Nicola really had to stop herself from making a loud "awww" noise as she watched this angel treat a tiny injured kitten. How did he get here in the first place? Shouldn't he be with the rest of his buddies? She honestly never thought one of them would ever fall so low as to hide in a sewer of all places. Unless there was no other option. He must've gotten lost or something.. She thinks, almost snickering at how similar to hers this situation was.

To make no mistake, she didn't want to approach the angel, especially after what she'd seen during the apocalypse - most of them didn't give two shits about what happen to her race - and so Nicola decided, even if slightly disappointed that it wasn't another human survivor or someone looking for her like she previously assumed, to go away and leave him be with his kitten. The angels the apocalypse has shown to her were hardly the kind and thoroughly good creatures the image of she grew up with.. But then, nature decided to play a cruel prank on her and a horrifyingly loud sound of her stomach rumbling was carried over the immediate vicinity.

Nicola cursed inwardly at her stupid stomach - really, she would've eaten that sandwich but the smell of the server was very unappetizing - when the angel quickly looked up before gently placing the cat down on a piece of folded cloth and snapping his fingers to produce a small wisp of normal, white light. Now, his face wasn't obscured by the shadow of his hood. It was just like a face of a human, especially with all the grime smeared over it, just more… how to describe it? Features were more apparent, simultaneously sharp and smooth. Like those of a sculpture. Almost overly perfect. However, he looked ill, emaciated with his cheeks collapsed like this and sunken eyes, seemingly too large for his head. His eyes… brilliant white with faint silvery pupils, glowing like two wisps, opened wide in an absolutely blank, emotionless stare, not unlike that of a man in feverish delirium. How long had he been down here?

"Who.. who's there..?"

His lips barely moved as he spoke, his wide eyes darted around in panic as he searched for intruders. Not that she could blame him. Her stomach sounded like a starving demon and as far as she's concerned, his kind isn't really fond of those.. The angel looked a little like a terrified, wounded animal that had been cornered by predators with no apparent way out. It was… sad somehow. Since she'd already been heard, Nicola carefully stepped out of her hiding spot. The reaction she got however, was far different from what she's been expecting. The angel gasped, his wings shot up like two enormous flags as he lifted his hands. Green magic crackled along his slender fingers with most of the nails broken and bloodied as she froze where she stood.

"G- get away! Back off, foul creature!"

He stuttered but didn't attack just yet. Swallowing a lump of fear Nicola forced herself to very, very slowly and carefully take a few steps closer to enter the illuminated area around the scared angel to make him realise this is a misunderstanding and she means no harm. She even left her gun on the floor not to make him feel threatened and kept her hands up, palms forward where he could see them. He squinted but this hollow look in his eyes remained. Disturbing… Even more so when he started to mutter nervously to himself, rubbing his eyebrows with his thumb.

"No… not a demon, nor an angel, a human perhaps…? Yes, yes… has to be… But that's not possible.. They're… they're all gone. Dead, killed, stone dead… Who is this and what do you want? Your tricks won't work on me.."

"I- I'm not trying to trick you, I swear! I am a human. I'm Nicola.."

She assures the angel, hoping that giving him her name will make him feel a little less threatened. A quiet sigh of relief slipped past Nicola's lips when the magic in his hands faded as he curiously - a little like a small, inquisitive puppy - tilted his head to the left.

"Nic… ola…"

He breathed, mulling over her name, testing it on his tongue but his wings still remained aggressively flared above his head. The kitten meowed again, too weak to stand up from the bedding the angel made for it. He seemed to calm down a bit as he glanced down at it and with a flick of his finger made the animal lazily blink before it curled into a ball and immediately fell asleep. The wound on its back wasn't so large anymore and it wasn't bleeding so the black fluff with white feet and collar wasn't in any immediate danger. Angel's attention shifted back to her. But Nicola was the first one to speak.

"Who are you? How'd you get down here?

"Don't know… Human… a human. How did you get in my study? You really shouldn't be here. What is it you want from me? I'm working on improving my shards…"

"I-... Wait, your what ?"

Nicola's face scrunched up in confusion. Get in where? Working on improving his what??

"No, this isn't right… they need more energy…"

At this point she had absolutely no idea what the angel was rambling on about but she could clearly see he was completely out of his mind. Frankly speaking, she wasn't actually sure if he knows what he's babbling either.. There was only one thing that came to her mind when he spoke of shards and so she dug into her pocket, trying to find the one she'd been carrying with her just in case as he clutched at his head, tangling his fingers into his hair under his hood…

"It worked… I did it, I can… but it hurts… Creator, how it hurts… Cold.. so cold…"

His voice was starting to break as his unsteady breathing turned into something akin to sobbing but no tears were shed and he started to rock back and forth, still muttering something unintelligible. Something in Nicola's gut squirmed - or maybe it was the hunger again - as she looked at the scrawny angel mercifully. Whatever happened to him, it must've been horrible. It takes a very traumatic experience to bring a human to such a state but an angel is a different story. Seeing anyone like this saddened her. Finally, her fingers found what they were searching for and she extracted a small healing shard from her vest.

"You mean like…"

At the gentle, green glow the shard was emitting, the angel looked up astonished and let his mouth fall open. He stopped shaking and grasping his head.

"Yes… yes, my shard. I need… My blade. Where's my blade? Who…? My name? My name… I remember, I swear."

This talk of a blade was mildly unsettling to say the least but something in her chest twisted with pity and all fear left her. A little more bravely, Nicola approached the murmuring angel who attempted to scratch something out on the floor beside his knee but only successfully broke one of his nails again and hissed quietly. What happened to you, you poor thing? When she crouched next to him, he stared at her as though he'd seen a ghost when she realised he isn't looking into her eyes anymore. But at her forehead.

"You're… injured…"

He stated as matter of factly. Oh. Right. That was true. It barely hurt anymore though… and wasn't even bleeding. She's certainly had much worse. It will heal on its own in no time.

"Let me just-"

Suddenly he leaned forward to grab at her, making her heart leap up to her throat as she cried out in fear and jumped away from him. Instinctively, Nicola booked it for the tunnel she came from when she heard a heavy thud and a pained groan behind her.. It was her good hearted nature what ultimately made her stop in her tracks and look over her shoulder. To see the angel on the floor, weakly propping himself on his elbows and breathing heavily. He was very weakened. It's unclear how long he'd been down here but it certainly has taken its toll. Nicola looked out into the dark tunnel. Whatever awaited her in this darkness and out in the city surely isn't nicer than this poor sod behind her. She wasn't even sure if he actually meant to hurt her or not. It was a reflex. Then she turned to look back at the angel shivering on the wet floor.. Her throat tightened. God, she couldn't just leave it like this, could she?

"H- hey… are- are you okay?"

Nicola approaches the angel warily and squats before him as he lifts his head to look at her. And in his eyes she sees pain. Horrible, unimaginable pain, somewhere deep within, that made his crusted lips tremble. Such a sight would be enough to break even the coldest hearts. And definitely more than enough to break hers. He eyes her hands when she hesitantly takes him by the arm - careful when she notices a rag stained with fresh blood above his left elbow - and tries to pull him up to his feet or at least to a sitting position but he doesn't recoil. He simply kept staring at her hands in bewilderment. To her surprise, he was much lighter than he looked, probably because of how thin he was, and she managed to do what she intended but she could see that his legs won't uphold his weight as meager as it is. The angel glanced at the cut on her head and once again, albeit far more cautiously, reached out towards it.

"I can… I can heal it. Just hold still.. It will take a second.."

And in spite of herself, Nicola gives him a chance this time. He extended two fingers and as their tips started to glow with green, he gently tapped against her damaged skin. It felt… odd. It wasn't painful but still strange. The edges of the wound grew numb and prickly as the patch of comforting warmth fell over her forehead. And what was even odder, the angel smiled slightly, whispering

"There… It is done.. I.. remember. Was it…? It was, wasn't it… Raphael?"

"Wh- what? What are you talking about, who's Raphael?"

Nicola asks, probing the new, thin scar that was now formed in place of the cut. He really did heal her. Curious. And it did take a second.. For a moment, his face scrunched up in confusion but only for this second before he brightened and some of the strange mist fell from his white eyes as he brought both of his hands up and repeatedly poked his chest with all of his fingers.

"Me.. Raphael is… it's me! And you…"

He extended one finger and aimed it at her head.

"You are Nicola. "

"Y- yeah. Nice to meet you, I guess…"

She hesitantly replies as the circumstances of this meeting weren't exactly "nice". In a dark, damp sewer filled with stench and corpses with a possible monster lurking nearby? Far from nice if someone would ask her.

"What.. huh. What is this place?"

Raphael unexpectedly asked, looking around with his large, white eyes, blinking in confusion. Nicola pulls a face, unsure how to tackle the odd angel.

"You… don't know? You've been living here."

"Have I? Hmmm.. Strange…"

He murmured thoughtfully, scratching at his white goatee also painted with blood that surely spilled from the cut on his lower lip. Then his face shifted into concern as he tried to pull himself up with a strained grunt, clutching at an old, but not healed yet, gash over his ribs.

"I… I have to get back.. they need me in the White City…"

As she was expecting, he collapsed back onto the floor with a tired sigh not even a second later. Where and what was the "White City" he spoke of, she had no idea. What she did know however, was that in his condition Raphael isn't going anywhere. Even if he managed to get up, she could bet her right hand that he would make ten steps at most before collapsing again. Nicola winces and tilts her head to the side.

"Pal, I don't think you're in shape for walking or flying right now.."

"No, I suppose not… they cannot see me like this. I cannot return.."

At this point she wasn't surprised that Raphael kept muttering to himself about things her human brain couldn't hope to comprehend. Nicola got long used to this however. Ever since the armageddon there were very few things she could understand. It wasn't a normal day if something new and weird didn't happen to her or one of her remaining friends. Any hostility the angel showed before has faded now, his wings folded back around him as he leaned over the sleeping kitten to continue treating it. The gentleness he did it with, the uncertain smile on his face were making Nicola's heart melt. Raphael didn't seem like his friends indeed. He was different somehow. Kinder, softer. Less aggressive. More fitting the image of a stereotypical angel. But also definitely not quite… right. Up in the head.

Oh, well. Who is totally normal these days, honestly?

She wants to chuckle to herself when something gives her a pause. A horrifyingly familiar sound coming from the tunnel behind her. Panting, scraping and growling. Inevitably getting closer and closer. Her heart plummets to her heels. This sound… she would recognise it everywhere. The sound that haunted her dreams ever since the demon tore her twin brother, Nicholas, to shreds. This demon.. a Goreclaw, as Ulthane called it. Whipping around, she just managed to spot the quadrupedal monster - the size of your average Caucasian Shepherd (which was still awfully large for its kind), with long, lashing tail and sharp fangs constantly bared in a disturbing grin - appear in the entrance, cutting off the only escape route.

It must've heard Nicola's startled scream and followed it all the way here, hoping for an easy prey. Her breath caught in her throat as she stands paralyzed by the blood-hungry glare of multiple red eyes. This ugly mug, covered in blood of her sibling was still fresh in her mind, keeping her absolutely petrified. Unable to do anything, she kicks herself for leaving her shotgun behind. Now it was resting between the clawed paws of the demon who screeched in excitement as it prepared to pounce at her. Though honestly, with how rigid her body turned, she doubts she'd be able to aim, not to mention pulling the trigger.

This is it. She thinks, feeling blood leave her face. I'm gonna die. After all she's been through.. Killed by a single Goreclaw, ripped apart in a stinking sewer like an ungrateful little shite. Ulthane did so much to rescue her from the claws of that Fallen and now all his efforts are going to go to waste.. Crying out in dismay, she shields herself from the oncoming attack with her arms and shuts her eyes.

Something shifted behind her as the demon jumped at her and… nothing happened. Opening her eyes, horrified and shocked, Nicola almost gags when she sees the Goreclaw standing before her and just… gawking with its jaw slack as though it got hit on the head with something heavy. Faint golden light running around its body like tiny veins didn't escape her attention. That's when she noticed that the demon was trying to move, straining with its own stiff muscles and growling. But couldn't. It was completely paralyzed. A quiet, barely audible thrumming filled the air around Nicola and she began to feel something strange. Something she could only describe as magic. The arcane static began to nip and the bite at her skin like miniscule locusts when a green haze enveloped the Goreclaw before her. The same light fell onto her back, laying her quivering shadow out at her feet. A realisation hit her.

Raphael. He's still there.

After the apocalypse, Nicola had no delusions that angels, even the kindest ones, are ever defenseless. Before she could turn to face the angel, her would-be killer suddenly let out a soul-rending shriek that yet again almost made her drop dead or simply puke out of pure fear. Freed from the paralysis, it fell to the floor, writhing, clawing at its own chest and screeching the most ungodly noise Nicola had ever heard. What's happening?! Absolutely petrified, she watched as the demon's skin seemed to dry and wrinkle as its eyes were nearly popping out of its skull. Life - and color - was frighteningly quickly seeping out of the demon as it squirmed in agony, wailing, unable to fight the power that got a hold of it.

All this looked like taken straight out of a horror movie. And Nicola, on the contrary to Nicholas, was never a fan of those… It all took merely a few seconds of unimaginable torment before the unfortunate Goreclaw wheezed and eventually fell still with its jaws opened and tongue lolled out, wide eyes dull and unblinking, and didn't move ever again. Dead. The memory of all those corpses she has found passed through her head. The Goreclaw looked just like them… Afraid to move a muscle, she stared at the light that moved away from the dead demon, following its movement to the sight that made her back up aghast.

Raphael. The same seemingly gentle angel who healed a small, hurt animal - who healed her - was suspended in midair, tattered robes and disheveled hair billowing, with his wings flared and bristled. This soft smile was replaced by an absolute lack of any expression whatsoever as his wide eyes burned with the whitest white of unbridled anger she'd ever seen. Green streaks of magic - the same green she found so soothing before, now ominous and frightening - bathing the surroundings in brightness, were swirling around his arms, hands with fingers curled into vicious claws. For this moment he looked much stronger, a little younger… and far more dangerous than he seemed before.

"As long as I live.. I shall not stand suffering !"

Raphael bellowed at the corpse at her feet even though it was long dead and already turning cold, caring very little about how horrified she was. He didn't even seem to care how much suffering the demon had experienced before it blessedly lost its hold on life. Not that Nicola thought it didn't deserve that but still it was… pretty gruesome.. Raphael's wounded and weakened body absorbed the life-force drained from the demon and only then did he slowly descend onto the floor and landed on his feet, breathing out with relief. The magic gradually dissipated along with the sharp prickling sensation until only the tiny golden wisp hovering next to Raphael's head remained. His wings fell into their place against his back, this furious light faded out of his bright eyes before he turned to Nicola to shoot her a disarming, awkward smile as though nothing had happened at all. This tiny smile was hardly comforting.. Quite the opposite in fact. It chilled her to the bone like the coldest winter wind.

Oh fuck.

Swallowing thickly, Nicola looked up at Raphael, now standing on his own legs, clearly revitalized by the stolen energy, and felt a little fearful tear roll down her face. Then she shifted her gaze to the demon. Then back to Raphael, who seemed so small and weak before but stood at least two, maybe three feet taller than Nicola - her head reached the bottom of his sternum. I was wrong. She realises with a pang of panic, feeling a little sick in the stomach at the mere thought that this kind healer was as capable of killing her where she stood as any demon up above her head. All he had to do was flick his wrist and look at her and she wouldn't have been able to do a thing to defend herself. It suddenly made sense. There was no sewer monster down here. No beast that would threaten her. No foul creature that could suck the blood from her body and leave ber as a mummified corpse. All this death, all these bodies… The horrifying monster Nicola was expecting to find...

It was him.

--------------------------------------------------

So yeah. That was the chapter I. I'll try to make more but I don't promise anything XD

The moral of this story? Don't piss off/spook angel sorcerers. Especially the crazy ones.

Also, the art at the end was once again inspired by @coloredgravity 's rendition of Raphael (I drew this mostly out of memory 😂). In addition I gave him a symbol of virtue from Darkest Dungeon over his head. He's mad, true. But he still tries to hold it together :3

[alliswell21]

Remorse and Absolution

For @lovely-tothe-bone. Sorry it took me so long.

Rated T, for mentions of canonical violence, and implied intimate encounters.

>>————->

The evening starts as usual: we cook dinner together, set the table and one of us runs to Haymitch’s to drag him over for supper. After dinner, Peeta and Haymitch play a few turns of their permanent chess game set up in the study, while I tackle the dirty dishes, since I’m feeling generous.

I join the guys in the study when I’m done in the kitchen, and curl up in a cozy chair with a book my mother sent from District 4 a while ago. It’s an easy read, just a few poems about flowers and plants that usually keeps my mind relaxed and distracted. The guys share a few quiet chuckles, and I smile at my book absentmindedly. I can’t help it. Laughter sometimes feels a little alien to us, but the sound is becoming more and more frequent with every season that passes.

Dr. Aurelius isn’t completely useless after all. He’s encouraged us to keep simple routines in our day to day, and so far we’ve found it beneficial for all of us.

After a while, Haymitch starts bouncing his leg anxiously. A clear sign he’s ready for a drink, and since Peeta and I discourage the use of liquor in our house, the old man cracks his knuckles and calls it a night after moving his piece. I wish we could break him out of the habit, but we all have our coping mechanisms; Haymitch’s happens to be at the bottom of a bottle. At least his alcohol intake has decreased some since he started raising his geese. The feathered monsters can be a handful tough, but they keep Haymitch preoccupied enough to stay sober at times.

I count that as a plus.

“I’ll walk you home.” Peeta tells Haymitch as soon as our old mentor stands from his rocking chair. His tone is casual, jovial even, but Haymitch and I know Peeta so well, we pick up the hidden message. He wants a word, privately.

“Sure. It’s been a long day, and I may need an extra pair of hands to help me secure the geese’s hatch. The stupid birds keep pecking at it. Soon they’ll be running wild all over the place.” Haymitch drawls, scratching his chin.

His sharp Seam eyes search Peeta’s countenance before cutting to me in something that could pass as boredom, if wasn’t for the way his eyebrow twitches.

I shrug infinitesimally, letting him know that I neither know what’s Peeta up to, or have any objections on the matter.

Haymitch shrugs too, and plucks an apple turnover from a plate by their chess table. “Sweetheart,” He nods and salutes me, stuffing his mouth obnoxiously full of pastry. He slouches out of the room beckoning Peeta to follow him. “Alright, Boy, lets get on with it. That hatch ain't gonna fix itself.”

By the time Peeta comes back, I’m getting ready for bed.

He joins me in the bathroom, as another of our nightly routines, we take turns using the toilet and then wash our faces and brush our teeth together at the sink. It should feel strange going to the bathroom with a boy, but after moving in together and becoming a real couple, Peeta and I have grown comfortable with each other— in my case— comfortable enough to be human in front of him.

I keep looking at him through the mirror over the sink though. He’s been uncharacteristically quiet since returning from Haymitch’s.

“Everything okay?” I ask around a mouthful of toothpaste.

“Hmm.” He grunts in ascent, switching water in his mouth before spitting it out. “Yeah.” He says, but sounds unconvinced.

I rinse my mouth and dry my lips with a towel, still studying his face while he tidies up the counter.

“You know you can tell me if anything is bothering you, right?” I say unraveling my braid and combing out the strands with my fingers.

“I know.” He tells me softly. After a minute, he stutters a breath. “It’s just… I don’t wanna bother ‘you’.” He says looking at me sheepishly, and then stands behind me with my hair brush.

He loves helping me brushing and rebranding my hair, so I let him do it every night. He’s gotten almost as good as I too. Normally, this is my favorite time of our grooming routine. Having him play with my hair relaxes and soothes me like nothing else; but tonight I just stew in his words.

I come to the conclusion that whatever’s on his mind, has to be awful for him to think he’ll upset me by it.

I scowl, and dig deep for some courage; after all he’s done for me, the least I can do is repay his kindness and help him out, even if it’s something that could potentially send me cowering under the covers for days.

“Peeta,” I turn to face him, running my hand up and down his muscled arm. “We’re in this together. No matter what. You can tell me anything.” I tell him honestly.

He sighs heavily.

He holds my hand and together we walk into our bedroom. He motions for me to sit on the bed, then lowers himself next to me. It takes him another moment to gather his thoughts, finally, his eyes find mine, holding my whole attention.

“Today in my call with Dr. Aurelius, we talked about apologizing to people I’ve physically hurt. Even if they’re not around anymore.”

“Oh,” I breathe out. “That’s a tall order. I’m so sorry, Peeta.” I say taking his hand in mine. By my count, all the people Peeta ever touched violently, died right after. “It must’ve been hard for you, trying to make amends like that.”

He shakes his head. “It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I mean, I felt myself slipping at one point, but I managed to stay in my own mind…” he trails off, his blue eyes glass over, and for a moment I’m frightened an episode is coming, but then his eyes refocus on me. And it’s not better when he holds my gaze.

So much sadness and guilt, a chill runs up my spine.

“Apologizing to the dead wasn’t the hard part.” He confesses softly, gently. “There’s one person I hurt, who’s still here, breathing. Alive. The problem is she’s the hardest one to even start talking to, because I can’t quite remember what happened, or what was actually said or done to trigger the attack.” Peeta’s voice breaks a little, his eyes intense on mine. “My mind was so confused. Whatever happened during those moments when fear gripped my like a vice, is fogged up in my memory, and some people may say is for the better, because who’ll want to know the monstrosities one is capable of…?”

I try to remain oblivious to what he’s saying, but his meaning is hard to miss when spoken with such vehemence.

He continues, “What I know about the incidents, is only what I was told by others. At first, I didn’t believe a word of it.” He shakes his head and looks away in shame for a moment, “Not until I saw footage of myself acting like a rabid mutt. A madman, killing an innocent just to get to a defenseless girl, who didn’t do anything to hurt me. Not really.”

My heartbeat quickens at his words. Pain and fear snake around my chest, wrapping tightly over my heart, and breathing becomes a chore. I shake my head, “It wasn't like that... it wasn’t—“ a small noise, like a sob, cuts the rest of my words short.

“Katniss,” this time is Peeta squeezing my hand in his. “We don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to. As I said, the last thing I want, is to upset you.”

I shake my head and manage to croak out, “No, Peeta, I think we have to. I’m not terribly keen on remembering those days, but like everything in our lives, we need to face our fears and stop pretending they’re not there.” I squeeze my eyes shut for a second. “What do you need to know?” I ask before my resolve disappears.

“I’m not sure. Honestly, I want nothing less than to know all the awful things I did and said to you then, Sweetheart. But it feels wrong, hypocritical, apologizing to you without first owning my crimes and shortcomings.”

My heart breaks a little. For both of us.

All the mess up stuff done to us, and even now we have to fight to get away from the pain they caused us.

“Is that why you wanted to speak to Haymitch alone?” I ask, “To learn from him what happened that day? The day you—“ my hand goes to my neck involuntarily, but the words I whisper are less threatening, less damning. “The day you were rescued from the Capitol,”

Peeta sighs a tremulous “Yes.” After a pause, he explains, quietly, “I had to know, and Haymitch wouldn’t sugar coat it or lie about it to spare my sanity.” We’re silent for a moment and then he brings my hand to his lips. “I’m sorry I let them turn me into that monster, Katniss.”

I’m not sure what exactly happens next, but one soft, apologetic kiss, turns into two, three, six, ten. His lips hover, feather like, over the skin of my wrist, traveling to my forearm and then keeps going up to my shoulder. Our eyes stay entranced unto one another, as much as we can sitting like we are. An unbreakable connection. The apology is etched in the depths of his intense blue eyes, and I don’t have the power to look away or deny him this.

Sitting side by side, requires some readjustment when Peeta’s kisses reach my neck. My eyes finally shut when his hot breath fans over the place my skin tingles with the memory of finger shaped bruises.

“I’m so sorry, Katniss.” He murmurs against my throat. “I’m sorry I became a piece in their games.” His kisses go from tight lipped, to open mouthed, and his hand cups my cheek to keep my head in place as he paints apologies over my neck and throat.

“I’m sorry I let them turn me against you, darling.” His free hand wraps around my waist lightly, “I allowed them to turn me into a weapon, to destroy you. I’m sorry my mind was so warped, they almost succeeded.”

“But you’re better now,” I exclaim wrapping my fingers around his, abruptly turning to face him completely.

My eyes fill with tears because his real self is here, with me, and none of the schemes the Capitol or Coin tried to use, to put us as odds with each other, worked.

They lost! And against the odds, we won. Another day this victory will seem empty and small, but not tonight. Tonight, knowing Peeta reclaimed his mind back and came home to help me do the same, is all that matters.

“You’re better now,” I repeat, and then is me kissing his mouth, holding him tight, “You’re you. My Peeta. My sweet, tender Boy with the bread.” Every word is marked with a peck to his lips, cheeks, eyes. “They couldn’t break you, not completely. You broke free at the end. You brought yourself back to me.”

He pulls me flushed against him then. “Oh, Sweetheart, I’ll always come back to you. You’re my entire life. My safe heaven. My home.”

“And you are mine.”

We lean into each other. Our kisses rapidly escalates from reassuring press of the lips, to hungry exploration of each other’s mouths.

Our bodies slowly lower to the mattress; our hands roam freely under sleep wear and my fingers tangle in his soft hair. We move fluidly, in familiar, comforting motions together.

Peeta kisses my jawline up and down; one warm hand slides from my side, up to my shoulder and around to caress over my collarbones with gentle, loving fingers.

“I don’t think I will ever be able to stop apologizing for hurting you,” He says placing small kisses behind my ear. “Hijacked or not.” He nudges me back, until my head falls on my pillow. “But I pledge to spend the rest of my life trying.” He promises before shifting himself to hover above me.

I cradle his hips between mine, but Peeta contents himself with just resting his weight there while his clever, caring fingers massage the skin on my neck tenderly.

“Please, Katniss. Could you ever forgive me for what I did? I keep trying to picture myself wrapping my hands around your neck with the intent to harm you, and I just—”

“I know. That wasn’t you.” I tell him caressing his face.

His eyes shine with unshed tears. “But maybe it was though.” He says miserably. “Everyone keeps saying they use venom to twist my feelings for you until I couldn’t even recognize myself, but what if the hatred and resentment had been there all along? There’s an all consuming rage deep within me, Katniss. It ran in my mother’s veins. I could feel it in mine too, dormant, simmering beneath the surface. I kept a short leash on it when I could help it, but the Capitol found it, dug it out, and magnified it to use against you. How could you ever forgive me for almost choking the life out of you?”

“Peeta,” I sigh to the ceiling, curling my fingers into the hair at his nape, bringing his face deeper into the crook of my neck where I can keep him safe from himself, “I forgave you the moment you remembered your promise of ‘Always’.” I tell him looping my other arm around his shoulder. “I forgave you because your true self is kind, and loving, and sweet. Maybe there is anger and rage inside you, but your selflessness is far greater. Your will power is what makes me love you. You came back from the mutt, and that’s why forgiving you was so easy. You didn’t let it eat you up like Snow and Coin expected. You’re stronger than that.”

How could I ever doubt a boy who’s always put my well-being before his own? How could I believe he would purposely hurt me, when his actions spoke so loudly to the contrary in the past?

To show him I trust him intrinsically and accept his apology without reservations, I tilt my head back, presenting him with my bare throat. I don’t care if this position leaves me vulnerable, I know he loves me, and despite all those walls I built around my heart to keep me from falling in love, I’ve finally admitted, I love him back.

“Thank you, Katniss. For having faith in me. For giving me another chance and not giving up on me in those sewers.”

“You didn’t give up on me either. I think we are finally on leveled ground.”

I feel his smile against my cheek before his lips find my own.

“I will still spend the rest of my life, making it up to you, Sweetheart.” He whispers into my jaw, his other hand joins the sweet ministrations of the first one, pouring his devotion into each one of his light touches over my clavicle and throat, as if trying to sooth the memory of the bruises away… he may just manage to erase them for good if he keeps kissing me like this.

He’s etching his adoration and love for me with so much reverence on every inch of flesh he can reach.

His caresses and kisses descend from my face to my clavicle, his hands move the thin material of my night shirt down my arms, revealing yet more skin, and his reverent kisses turn into hungry nips and pecks, that only serves to make our hunger greater. Our hands seek more skin, more warmth, more friction, not quite satisfying.

We’ve made love almost every night since the day I told him my love for him is real, but tonight, when we join our bodies and become one, is different. With every gasp, caress and whispered promise, we make right a wrong, and put a painful episode behind us. We heal, forgive, and forget.

As his strokes and soothes my neck with tender touches, I know in my heart, that we will be okay.

We still have a long road ahead of us. What we went through has left deep wounds physical and emotional, that won’t heal overnight; we will have to work very hard to overcome guilt, sadness, and anger, but tonight, we’ve grown in our love, and that’s one more reason to smile than we had yesterday.

Maybe one day laughter won’t be alien anymore.

[spectralreplica]

Hey love your PMM DRv3 au, I was wondering who do you think out of the magical people would witch out first? Additionally, assuming Kokichi wasn't the first and learned that he would one day become a witch, do you think he'd handle that well? Love your work~

Okay, so first, thank you so much! I love hearing when people like my work!

Second, sorry for this novel I wrote in response, but whatever, I had a lot to say!

Short answers: Ryoma or Kokichi would probably witch out first, then Kaito. Kokichi never handles things well.

Long answers under cut.

Wildcard option: Kiibo already witched out from the start and Miu “brought him back” a la Kazumi. Not sure if this is “canon”, but I kind of like the idea.

---

Putting that aside, probably Ryoma. I assume Kyubey would approach him after his family and girlfriend were already dead, right when he was looking for revenge, so his killing spree would probably be magically-assisted. If he still went to jail for it, then he’d witch out really fast with no access to Grief Seeds. If he wasn’t caught or went on the run, then he’d still be in bad shape considering the massive trauma, lack of a support system, and suicidal thoughts. 

I think his low self-worth and general lack of motivation would lead to him either not seeking out witches to fight or pulling a Sayaka and running himself ragged in a self-destructive rampage. Either way, his days would be numbered. If Miu’s group managed to pull him in (probably after Kaede joins/takes over) then he’d do better, but considering the way he tries to push others away…

---

The other top choice is Kokichi because he’s fighting alone and thus using lots of magic and at constant risk of injury, but also traveling with DICE, so he can’t move freely and has to worry about collateral damage and others targeting them to get back at him. So, the worst of both worlds. (And don’t even suggest that they should contract too or he’ll–) He’s nomadic, so he has no safe home base, and he’s constantly poaching off other people’s territories, so he definitely ends up fighting them and wasting more magic. 

He’s also way too paranoid to have made a wish in any circumstance but an utter emergency, so he knows he got a raw deal even if he tries to pretend otherwise, and there’s no way he wouldn’t notice stuff like the similarities between Soul Gems and Grief Seeds and the way certain magical people just seem to disappear right as a new kind of witch appears. I think he’d sort of treat Kyubey like Monokuma (pretending to get along and have complementary goals, not openly working against him) and avoid directly asking him for confirmation so that he can keep on living in denial. But eventually he’d run into someone desperate, someone who’d really needed that Seed he took or someone who had nothing left and just wanted to take out their emotional pain on an intruder, and then…

How would he handle this knowledge?

Badly.

Specifically, I think he’d keep repressing his feelings, but even harder. It’s not like he didn’t know before, but now that he knows…. Well, his Soul Gem probably isn’t looking too great. 

He would absolutely never tell DICE about this (just like he’s not telling them about the Familiar thing, or the literal Soul Gem thing, or how he can’t seem to keep his Gem as bright as before, or…), but he might end up mockingly telling another magical if they got him pissed enough and kept asking questions. He hates being cornered, especially about something he genuinely finds upsetting. 

If confronted by someone else who already knew or just found out, he’d fake having always known and totally not caring at all. Just keep faking it even harder, hiding everything better, and escalating to more outrageous and insensitive behavior until everyone wants to fight him on sight. So, basically a time bomb.

Despite all this, I’m not sure he’d actually witch out.

He really dislikes murder, being controlled or forced into bad situations, and other people messing with his head, not to mention that DICE would probably be the first people caught in his labyrinth, so turning into a witch would be like the ultimate nightmare scenario. The clear better option would be to destroy his Soul Gem before he transforms. 

But I also see him as afraid of dying and only willing to do that when all other options have been exhausted. He’s also totally willing to let or make others hurt him, but doesn’t tend to directly hurt himself. So, he’d be running at the Soul Gem equivalent of 5%-20% battery for weeks or even months, trending downwards but not willing to definitively say that this is the point where he has to give up and die. 

Of course, living with your Soul Gem clouded impairs your thinking and makes all your negative emotions worse, so he’d get more paranoid, more secretive, more confrontational, more out of control…. Eventually he’d be avoiding everyone, and then just realize in some back alley that he has no Grief Seeds left and he’s at the point of no return.

I think at that point it’d all depend on who, if anyone, found him and how quickly they reacted. He might get them to kill him, kill himself, get caught/distracted and witch out, or even get out of it alive if someone is really fast with a Grief Seed (or relatively clean Soul Gem, if you go for that headcanon…) and good with rapid-fire, improv therapy sessions.

---

Kaito is probably the next most likely to witch out because he also tends to repress his emotions, keep up an image for others, and try to handle things on his own. He’d probably be dealing with some jealousy over Shuichi’s growth and some stress over keeping up with school while hunting Familiars and Witches, but I think he’d manage right up until he starts to learn the kind of stuff Kyubey didn’t mention. 

He’d persevere through the ‘Soul Gem is your soul, body is essentially dead’ thing (especially if his body was previously not that healthy….), but not the witch thing. I feel like he would stubbornly insist that witches come from “curses” and refuse to even consider any other options right up until someone witched out in front of him. So, a huge, ideal-shattering revelation followed immediately by a surprise fight against an enemy he doesn’t want to kill, then guilt over not saving that person, guilt over killing all the other witches, terror at the thought of telling Maki and Shuichi, fear of transforming and hurting more people… 

He would absolutely pretend the person just died fighting the witch, and avoid mentioning the revelation to Maki and Shuichi at all costs. I think he would honestly delude himself into believing he could just hold out and magically make everything better right up until he broke down and witched out in front of them.

(New timeline Kaito would probably be fine with the Law of Cycles thing as long as he can frame it as a heroic sacrifice/reward kind of thing. Maybe even a little tempted by the Godoka cult stuff?)

---

Kaito witching out might just take out the whole group, but if the others manage to not sink into depression (or just straight out get killed by his witch…) and to follow what Kaito tried to teach them (Not what he did, mind you. What he told them to do.), then they’d probably end up forming a permanent group with the HimiTen duo. 

They’d do alright as long as Tenko realizes that she can’t always prioritize cleaning Himiko’s Soul Gem over her own and stops trying to hide when she needs it more. I think Shuichi and Maki would actually tell them about the origin of witches, and it would be really upsetting and stressful, but not totally devastating like finding out right as someone you love becomes a monster you have to kill.

---

Meanwhile, the Kaede, Miu, Gonta, and Kiibogroup (Kamigoki?) is shockingly stable. They have enough people to not send everyone to every fight, so they can manage the other parts of their lives, and they have a wide enough territory to support all of them Grief Seed-wise. Also, strategy-wise, they have close and long range plus whatever tools Miu invents, and Kiibo can fly to gather info or get a better angle to shoot. 

Kaede is pragmatic enough to accept that sometimes you have no options besides killing people and Miu prioritizes her and her own over strangers, so I think they’d be able to withstand the witch revelation even if they weren’t happy about it. 

Kiibo tends to go along with the group unless he has major objections, and he kind of has this stubborn belief that things will turn out fine in the end if you can get through all the terrible things happening now, but he was already sensitive about being perceived as non-human…. He might go no-antenna mode and decide to destroy Kyubey to end the system or even pull a Mami and try to take out everyone’s Soul Gems before they witch out, but I honestly think the others could stop him and talk him down before any major damage came of it (Killing Kyubey is a group project!) 

Gonta would be really upset, but could probably be convinced that defeating the witches is the best they can do to honor the people the witches used to be. Also, fighting witches and familiars is still tangibly doing something that stops people from being killed, so he wouldn’t feel useless and get desperate like in the game.

 Ryoma wouldn’t be that affected because he already saw himself as a killer (plus blunted affect from depression). I mean, he wouldn’t be in a great place mentally, but it wouldn’t necessarily be a worse place than usual.

---

Angie’s cult (Angie, Tsumugi, Kirumi, Rantaro, and Korekiyo) already know about the witch thing, and the Familiar thing, and the soul outside of body thing…. And probably the entropy thing? They’re really co-dependent and groupthinky, but stable. I also see them as having really useful special powers (something like Oriko’s for Angie, illusions or transformation for Tsumugi, finding/tracking things or people for Rantaro… maybe healing for Korekiyo if he wished to cure his sister?) and getting paid in Grief Seeds to use those powers for other magicals. 

They generally believe that witching out is just part of the balance of life. Every wish has a curse, you hurt as many as you save, etc. (New timeline beliefs are probably more along the lines of proving yourself worthy to ascend from this world and join Godoka). Rantaro is a little unhappier when thinking about how that applies to his sisters, and Korekiyo is very, very interested in other people’s reactions when they find out, but none of them is in danger of experiencing it first-hand unless they get separated. 

I feel like the group could withstand one or two of the members witching out (as long as they weren’t Tsumugi and Angie) without losing faith, but any more than that would permanently destabilize them. None of them could actually last on their own at this point, although it might be possible to join another group.

[cosmiciaria]

In defense of Detroit Become Human (spoilers marked - long post!)

I know I arrived late at the party and everything that could've been said about this game has already been said – but I do want to add some things I haven't found in some reviews I’ve come across, while addressing all the flaws and giving credit where credit is due. And believe it or don't, this game is due a lot of credit. Yes, a game by David Cage is due credit, what has the world come to?

I must admit I'm not the greatest of fans of Cage's works. I can see all the flaws and plot holes in his games/interactive movies, but unlike others, I'm not that bothered by them. Hell, there are plot holes in many good stories and even the greatest games have some flaws, sometimes it feels people like picking one director and hating on them (cof cof, Tabata from Square cof). This doesn't mean Cage is free of sins, since that's far from reality: I still remember the Ellen Page's controversy with her naked model inside the game, and the creepy things they did to Madison in Heavy Rain for no reason whatsoever. Man, I think you should revalue some of your fetishes.

But aside from that, his games are heavily narrated focus, straying too far from the ordinary hero path and 'saving the world with the power of friendship'. He's stated there are so many things we can do in the videogame industry, and that most developers stick to the usual formula, just because they know it works and it profits. And I can understand his point of view, and even support it, that's why I always try to find something good in his games, even when the dialogues are bad and some acting leaves much to be desired – that happens in every game, in every movie, in every series.

Detroit Become Human is, by far, the best work by Cage. I can say so with full confidence: it's the first of his stories whose plot seem cohesive, coherent, whose characters undergo a visible and palpable development throughout the whole game, whose decisions and paths actually cross-impact later chapters and your choices do shape the way the story unfolds. I stress this because, for example in Beyond, your choices didn't matter much – even the QTE's were pretty useless. You just decided how the game would end in the last ten minutes of plot and that was it. Detroit, on the other hand, is so well planned that things you've done in the very first chapter have repercussions later down the line, and it's not like there's just two endings, but a lot of them, and lot of combinations that I'm still discovering. Your choices affect the during of the story, not just the ending. You can have good relationship with someone, or a bad one, and that will affect each scene those characters are in. You can have a good reputation with a group, or they can hate you, and so you will be ejected from the team. You can act irrational, or stay forever a machine, and the last big choice regarding that will depend of your actions across the whole game.

Just the decision making is a huge step up from previous works. And I can only compare this game to Until Dawn, but even in there, there are less decisions and less impact. Detroit is overwhelmingly huge when it comes to different paths and different versions of the same story. So much so that I told a friend who was also playing it about a scene, and she said 'wait, when does that happen? I didn't see it!'. It was as if we were talking about different games.

Detroit is about androids. It's the year 2038 and androids have flooded the market. They're like your usual vacuum but, hey, they can cook, take care of your children and even satisfy you sexually. They are such a common thing to see in the city that people ignore them. Most families have at least one android in their household, becoming completely reliant on their features. This is a future not so far away from our present.

But, lo and behold, because this game will explore the idea of 'freedom'. And, as you could've expected, some androids suddenly realize they don't want to work for humans anymore. Some androids are mistreated by their owners and suddenly they know they're in an unfair situation. Some androids have ambitions, dreams, ideas – some androids have the desire to be free.

And so, they become deviants. An artificial intelligence, capable of billions of simultaneous operations, young forever, and with conscience. Afraid, yet?

We will follow three main characters who happen to be androids: Connor, Markus and Kara. Connor is a prototype designed to assist investigators and police officers with cases, and he comes with many features that will facilitate all the analysis of clues. Markus is an android designed to care for an old man who has lost his mobility, and lives with him and cares for him as if he were his son. Kara is a housemaid android, who specializes in cleaning and taking care of children, but her owner is a drug-addict who forgot what it means to be a father.

Markus and Kara realize their unfair situation pretty early in the game, so they become deviants well at the beginning. Connor, on the other hand… well, it's in your hands to decide his fate.

Their stories will be intertwined: Connor will investigate cases involving deviants, alongside his sidekick – I mean, his partner, Lieutenant Hank Anderson, an old, anti-android human whose past is yet to be revealed; Markus will be falsely accused of aggression towards his owner or his son (depending what you choose), and he will come back from the dead, ready to lead a revolution against humans, demanding androids' rights; Kara will realize she wants to be a mother, and she will save the daughter of her owner from that hellhole they live in, only to travel from one corner of the city to another in search for an escape route. While Connor's and Markus's stories are well entangled, Kara's always felt a bit separated from them, which can be a huge let down. Personally, Kara's story was the one I enjoyed the least, but it has to do with something that happens at the end – that stupid plot twist – besides, it's more than clear in Kara's plotline that all the BS Cage loved from his previous games makes a return in here. Sometimes it felt like he left blender open and all the disastrous ideas he had for her story were spilled all over his kitchen. I can't think of anything else for that, because her plotline is a Frankestein of a story – uneven, irregular, although it has some touching moments, and Valerie Curry, the actress who plays Kara, delivers some guuud acting and lines.

I know the main message this game is trying to send is that androids are equals to humans. This is the most controversial aspect of the game: Cage, whether he says he did purposely or not, has compared the androids' struggle for freedom to that of African-American people, mixing together slavery and segregation. It's funny because Cage stated it wasn't his plan to allude to actual historical events that did happen not so long ago, and still we can see the segregation of androids in public transport, in public places, and the fact that Markus, with a bunch of other androids as well, demand freedom and the end of slavery from the humans. I like it more when he asks for fair compensation for their work.

And I say it's controversial because it's sending a wrong message. Slavery and segregation weren't contemporary, one came after the other; and the fact that they make a clear comparison to that social movement is criticizable. I'm not the most expert on US history – hell I'm from Argentina, guys – but even I know that the bloody history behind the fight for equal rights is far from over and has put the country on the brink of breaking down many times. That someone deliberately compares the android's fight that took only a few months to develop to that monstrous side of US history is, uhm, questionable in the least.

BUT let's just say that it's an awful coincidence (I'm looking at you, Cage) and leave it aside for a moment. That's the main message the game tries to send. But I believe the game actually sends another message, that is better executed, better fleshed out.

Androids and humans can love each other.        

[SPOILER scroll down until you see the end of the spoiler section]

This is obvious at the beginning with Markus, if you decide to endure Leo's bullying. Carl, Markus' owner, dies from a heart attack, and Markus, crying, desperate, falls to his knees and embraces the man who's been acting like his father for years. He yells Dad, no! in front of the real son, provoking a reaction in him and in the player. Just in this tiny moment, which I think most people slip by without paying too much attention, is enough message. It explains everything.

If you decide to push Leo, the scene plays out differently, and we learn this message towards the end, still in Markus' branch. Later in the story you go back and visit Carl, who doesn't die, but is instead stuck in his bed, connected to cables and such. He regards Markus with love and tenderness, and holds his hand, saying You're my son, Markus. Your blood is a different color, but I know that a part of me lives in you. Thank you, you made me cry.

This message is also well developed in the friendship you can form with Connor and Hank. And notice the 'you can' because you can also make them hate each other. But why on earth would you make Hank mad, if not only for the trophy? Because I can't bear the idea of disappointing that good old man. I need him to be proud of me – I mean, of Connor! Their relationship is wholesome, with some instances in which Hank calls him his son, which melted my heart obviously. Knowing that Hank had lost his real son prior to the events of the game makes all this even more touching and moving.

This message is not well conveyed with Kara and Alice, and you might guess why – yes, the fact that towards the end we learn that Alice isn't a human but an android too, utterly destroys the whole concept the game has been trying to build up for this moment. I don't know why Cage thought this was a good idea – maybe trying to explain that androids can love each other as family just like humans do, but that kinda breaks the rules here, because the idea was an android discovering they can love thanks to a human, who has all the real feelings whereas the androids have this emulations and… alright you get me. How can we truly know if they love each other for real if they are two androids? How can we make sure it isn't just some emulation and chemicals inside their metal bodies? Alright I'm going too deep here? Maybe?

[END OF SPOILER SECTION]

All in all, this is the message that stays with me after playing the game. I don't know if Cage did it purposely (suddenly all his messages are casual), but this is what I can save and treasure from this story. Oh, and also, save your fucking planet, polar bears are going extinct.

Characters are really well created. Their interactions are believable and natural, the acting (specially Bryan Dechart as Connor and Clancy Brown as Hank) is flawless, and you can appreciate when they become deviant and when they start thinking for themselves. Some lines delivered by Markus felt a bit forced, but I've heard the actor talk and he talks like that so maybe is the way he speaks. There are some secondary characters that became my favorite really quick, like Luther, Kara's companion in this journey; Simon, one of the first members of the revolution Markus meet; Hank, of course, although I deem him as a main character at this point. Others, well… Gavin is your well-known bully, whose lines are so stupid I can't believe his character made it into the game. Like really, he's taken straight out of a 90's high school movie. I could hear Henry Bowers from It laughing at his attempt of being a bad boy.

On the technical department, this game is stunning. Visuals are a delight: sometimes you couldn't differentiate if it was filmed or if it was CGI. Hint: it was all CGI! Faces, expressions, animations, I can't complain of any of those. The character's eyes, which are the only thing the motion capture can't record, were all added digitally, and I'm bound to say that they're perfect: they make each character feel real, alive. You know when you're staring at something, that your eyes regard everything and your pupils have these tiny, micro, slight movements? That was in the game, and I loved it. Clothes get wet when it's raining, they get frozen when it's snowy, and lights reflect every surface so realistically that you can tell the texture of each object and piece of cloth.

Music is also a great asset in this game. Each character had a different composer, which brought a distinct and unique aspect to each of their stories. I know I've been hating on Kara until now, but I must admit her theme song is the best out of everything in this game. Even when I watched the cutscenes back when the game was released, I had her theme buried under my skin, for it's melancholic, it reminds me of rain, and it makes me wanna cry.

Another aspect I want to address is the gameplay. You know Cage loves his daily doses of QTE's. But this time, though, they're well executed. I recommend playing the game in Experienced difficulty (which is the normal difficulty), because it truly offers a more immersive experience. The use of the controller in all this was clever, and they used everything they had at their disposal to make you feel you're there in the story. For instance, the use of the vibration system of your joystick: when you pet the dog at Hank's house, you can feel a very slight vibration in your hands, as if the dog was breathing, what you would feel when you pet a dog, of course; but when you're driving a truck that leaves the sidewalk and falls into the street, you feel the sudden rough movement and the way the engine is speeding up; or you can feel heartbeats when Markus is trying to repair himself. All these instances of breaking the fourth wall to make you feel part of the story are implemented in such an intelligent way that it works wonders.

And speaking about breaking the fourth wall… In your main menu you'll have an android that will be your hostess. She will comment on the discoveries you'll be finding in your storyline, but she will also play some tricks to you or talk to you all of a sudden. And if you reach the good ending… well, there's a surprise with her. Let's just say that she's a great addition to the game and a fan favorite.

In conclusion, this is by far Cage's most polished and well thought game to date. And I've been hiding my obsession with Connor up until now so you wouldn't think I'm crazy but, I can't believe Cage created a character like this. I love him. Protect this sweet summer child. Don't make him a machine, please :'( Connor Army here I go.

If you have doubts about this game, buy it on sale. You will at least have a good time playing it and discovering the different paths. But if you like heavily narrated games, and you have at least enjoyed some of his previous works, don't miss on this one. It's really better. And it's really more worth it.