#the great cornholio

[peteneems]

[cornholiobungholio]

In my arty phase

[foxlecter]

The Great Cornholio

[vellatra]

So Vellatra Jr. tends to sleep with both arms pointing up, elbows bent squarely.... Lumber Jack and I started joking that she looked like the Great Cornholio, and it just escalated from there.

I'm having way too much fun doodling on this onesie 😆

[noisy-silence]

Beavis, My beloved <3

[comparativetarot]

Knight of Swords. Art by ctrlaltdanielle, from the Nostalgic TV Tarot Deck.

[babyblueetbaemonster]

Big Hood

Medium hood

small hood

[chamomileteainabuttercup]

Eddie Munson would (regrettably) have loved Beavis and Butt-Head

[steviewashere]

The Great Cornholio

Rating: General CW: Implied/Referenced Animal Abandonment, Implied/Referenced Animal Neglect, Implied/Referenced Child Abandonment, Implied/Referenced Child Neglect Tags: Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Mild Angst, Fluff, Steve Harrington is Impulsive, Steve Harrington is a Little Shit, Steve Harrington is a Sweetheart, Eddie Munson is a Sweetheart, Soft Steve Harrington, Soft Eddie Munson, Adopting a Dog, Beavis and Butthead Reference, Cornholio the Dog, Steve Harrington Has Bad Parents, Domestic Steddie, Domestic Fluff

🐕—————🐕 There’s a disrupting clatter of noise coming from the front door of their apartment. Eddie stops immediately what he’s been doing in the kitchen—wiping down counters and putting away the dry dishes from the rack—and listens in. Shushing. Scraping? And then…a whine.

“Steve?” He calls out.

All of the sounds immediately stop. Unnervingly so.

“Uh…Steve, you alright?” He calls out again. “You didn’t get into another fight again, did you? I think we’re out of rubbing alcohol, so it’ll be a bitch to disinfect any wounds you got.”

Subtle shuffling comes closer to the open doorway of the kitchen. Eddie turns to look. Steve’s standing in his work clothes, vest over his polo, jeans straight down his legs, shoes still laced. He’s flushed bright red. Nervously fiddling with his fingers. He shifts from foot to foot and peers up at Eddie through his eyelashes. Mirth glints at him.

“What’d you do,” Eddie sighs.

Steve smiles at him. All his teeth. Squinting his eyes so hard, they nearly look closed. “I got us something,” he giddily states, “you’re going to love it.”

Eddie gestures for him to get whatever this thing is. And waits, dish gloves up to his elbows, barefoot and in his pajamas, half-tired, not showered. He had a day off from work, the automotive shop around the corner, so what if he does chores and nothing else? But he’s especially exhausted. Just wants to relax. And knows, whatever Steve’s done, will tarnish all of that.

A couple minutes later, Steve comes back towards the kitchen. Vest gone, shoes off. Hands behind his back. Squirming left and right as his grip subtly—or not so subtly—changes. Slowly, carefully, he reveals the contents of his hands. And staring back at Eddie is a dog.

It’s a smaller breed—whatever breed it is. Soft looking, white fur. Ears that fold over like airplane wings. Big, brown, bug-like eyes. Pink nose, straight tail, short legs, and six toes on the front left foot. The dog’s cute, Eddie can objectively notice. It doesn’t mind being held, considering how Steve’s holding it close to his belly like it’s a toddler. And it’s not barking at him, like most dogs do the first time they’re introduced to him. This one’s rather mellow. Very relaxed. Though, that may just be from nerves.

“I got a dog,” Steve says. His voice goes a little high with his happiness. Smile bright and big and unmistakeable. Eyes excited and warm.

Eddie already knows he won’t turn this away.

“I can see that,” he states. “Is it our dog or—“

“His name is Cornholio. Like in Beavis and Butthead. And I’ve got all the supplies in the trunk,” Steve begins explaining, barreling over Eddie’s question. Okay, so it’s definitely ours, Eddie notes. “Cornholio here is housebroken. He knows how to sit and lay down. He’ll be sleeping with us in bed, I’m not making him lay in a dog bed by himself. And I’m going to buy him his own turkey to eat for dinner. And—“

“Wait, wait, wait,” Eddie interrupts. Immediately, Steve stops talking. And his smile fades. Looking more like…Well, it’s in bad taste, but he looks like a kicked puppy. The longer Eddie takes to collect himself, though, Steve appears as if his entire family has been slaughtered in front of his eyes. Eddie rubs a, now gloveless, hand between his eyebrows. “We didn’t talk about getting a dog? What led you to do this? How much did he cost? Have you factored in the possibility that either of us could be allergic?” Calm down, he scolds himself. He takes a quick, steadying breath. “I’m not…We can keep the dog, Stevie. But I—I’m not prepared for a dog.”

Steve cradles the dog closer to himself. Looks down at the top of his head and kisses the fur between his ears. Cornholio looks up with his big brown eyes, his tail wags as much as it can where Steve’s holding him, and he licks the underside of Steve’s jaw. “I just thought it would be nice to have a little buddy around,” he murmurs lowly, a little sad. “There was an ad for the humane society in the newspaper this morning and I thought, y’know, what if I looked after work? Just for the shits and giggles of it, but then I saw him. 

“And he’d been there for three years. He used to be left alone at his old house for weeks on end. Just left with scraps and the bag of dog food. Whatever he could find. He was lonely and sad and…Somebody finally called for him to be taken in.” Steve shrugs as much as he can with the weight of the dog between his arms. Looks up to Eddie, his eyes just as big as Cornholio’s, wet and tired. Meekly, he adds, “He made me think of myself. When…When my parents would just leave me all alone.”

Oh, Eddie thinks. His chest feels heavier. Head foggier. Eyes stinging.

“And you wanted to give him a better chance than what you had,” Eddie says, though he meant it like a question. It comes out a little breathy, too much of a realization to be anything more than that. Steve nods slowly, gently.

“He was only $50. I’ll return him if it’s a prob—“

“No, no,” Eddie rushes. He forces himself to move forward. Stand close and in Steve’s space. He peers down at the top of Cornholio’s little head, his tantalizingly soft fur. So, he scratches his nails over the baby’s scalp. He peers up at Steve again. At his impossibly sadder eyes, just a second away from bursting into tears. His free hand comes up and cups Steve’s left cheek. Thumb gently swiping over his cheekbone. “I think that you picked a good one, sweetheart. This baby’s adorable,” he coos. “Look, he’s even got my eyes.”

Steve scoffs. “Your eyes? He’s my son!”

Eddie hums. “Actually, he’s our son,” he murmurs. Smiles small to himself at the way Steve preens at those words. “And his name is Cornholio, like in Beavis and Butthead. And he’s going to eat turkey with us every night. And he can sleep between us in bed to ward off our nightmares, yeah?”

“Really? You’re not mad?”

He shrugs. “No, maybe just a little scrambled. But…I’m also an impulsive person, so this matters none.” Cornholio’s fur is incredibly soft under his hand. And he looks up at the two of them with all the gentleness in the world. And, maybe, Eddie thinks he could die happy here and now.

Steve leans in a little closer. Rests his cheek on Eddie’s shoulder as they both peer down at the little white dog. “Huh,” he mutters, “I guess he does have your eyes.”

“See?” Eddie asks softly, grinning. “Match made in heaven. How about we take him on a walk? Show him our picnic spot?”

Abruptly, Steve gasps. “Oh my gosh!” He crows, “We can take him on our picnics with us! And he can meet all the dogs at the park! And he can lay in our laps! And—“

Chuckling, Eddie swipes a soothing hand down Steve’s back. He’s bouncing in place, probably five seconds away from lift-off into the ceiling. He kisses Steve’s temple. Murmurs, “I’ll make some sandwiches, alright? Go get his collar and leash.”

Steve positively squeals.

And Eddie was right. This does ruin the plans he had on his day off, but he figures this is better. Way better than anything he could’ve done for himself. There was no way he was going to turn down the opportunity to see his boy happy.

🐕—————🐕

[ao3feed-steve-eddie]

by steviewashere

"“What’d you do,” Eddie sighs.

Steve smiles at him. All his teeth. Squinting his eyes so hard, they nearly look closed. “I got us something,” he giddily states, “you’re going to love it.” — “His name is Cornholio. Like in Beavis and Butthead.""

OR Steve impulsively adopts a dog and Eddie's gone for Steve.

Words: 1287, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Stranger Things (TV 2016)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson, Original Non-Human Character(s)

Relationships: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson

Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Light Angst, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Implied/Referenced Animal Abandonment, Implied/Referenced Animal Neglect, implied/referenced child abandonment, Implied/Referenced Child Neglect, Steve Harrington Has Bad Parents, Steve Harrington is Impulsive, Steve Harrington is a Little Shit, Steve Harrington is a Sweetheart, Eddie Munson is a Sweetheart, Soft Steve Harrington, Soft Eddie Munson, Adopting a dog, Beavis and Butthead Reference, The Dog's Name is Cornholio, Domestic Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson

[mikejudge]

called this 70 year old man at work and his voicemail said "hello this is the great cornholio" but he didn't even attempt do the voice or say tp for bunghole or anything. just a tired old man voice. im getting old beavis jumpscared irl now???

[peteneems]

[bedlemboy]

More Incorrect Star Wars quotes, again!

Anakin to the Council: Where is all this hate coming from? You guys tell me I’m the best all the time!

<cut> Rex: You’re the best, General!

<cut> Rex: You’re the best, General!

<cut> Rex: General Skywalker, you’re the best!

Anakin: . . . Y’know, that might just be Rex.

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Anakin: The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That’s where blood is SUPPOSED to be!

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Anakin: Master, we just caught a serial killer! I’ve wanted to do that since I was four years old!

Kenobi: That’s troubling.

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Rex: Welcome to the 501st, General. I'm Captain Rex.

Pong Krell: And I'm not interested. I have no use for clones. I find clones weird and confusing. I live my life by numbers. You see this watch? It tells me how many calories I burn at any time. Question- how many calories do you think I burned walking from there to there? You, clone closest to me.

Dogma: Oh! Uh, three?

Pong Krell: Three?! Haaaa ha-ha-ha! Try 0.8, numbnuts! I made promises to my superiors that I most certainly cannot keep. That's why I need you idiots to work twice as hard- no, no! Strike that! Four times as hard! No, no no! Strike that! I NEED YOU MORONS TO WORK EIGHT TIMES HARDER THAN YOU'VE EVER WORKED, IN YOUR ENTIRE LIVES! I'm having a heart attack. Yep, I'm having a heart attack. . . Get back to work.

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Ahsoka: Name one thing Rex can do that I can’t!

Anakin: Roller skate like an angel?

Ahsoka: Whore! I’m great at skating! Or have you forgotten Barris Offee’s fourth grade birthday party?

Anakin: I have definitely forgotten that. Can you look exactly like this Rex decoy I hired?

Cut-up: Sup?

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Ahsoka to Cut-up: If you’re going to pose as me, you need a little more Beyonce swagger. . . Alright, working with what you got, I guess.

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Ahsoka: On the bright side, you got Masters Kenobi and Skywalker off their hunger strike. 

Mace Windu: I just threw a bunch of popcorn on the floor. It wasn’t that hard.

Ahsoka: Yeah, they’re animals.

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Kenobi: Normally, it’d be our word against theirs, but luckily the Clones were all wearing body cams! 

Anakin: You see, Master, the thing about cameras is that they don’t really tell the whole objective truth. Images can be distorted. People can appear naked.

Kenobi: What are you talking about?

Rex: General Skywalker is completely nude in the footage, sir.

Kenobi: WHY?!

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Anakin: Baba-booie! Cornholio! . . . And that’s it for my prepared remarks. Any questions?

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Kenobi: I want to show you a picture from last night that really upset me.

Anakin: In my defense, Ahsoka bet me 5 credits that I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.

Kenobi: That’s not what. . . You drank shampoo? 

Anakin: . . . No. You’re the one farting bubbles.

[ijustreallylikepirates]

one of these days when someone calls me weird I'm just going to pull my shirt over my head, put my arms up in the air, and say in a really annoying voice, "I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO I NEED TP FOR MY BUNGHOLE" and "ARE YOU THREATENING ME???" and "IS THIS NICARAGUA?"

[milfzatannaz]

don’t do edibles yall this shits got me feelin like the great cornholio

[jungle-angel]

Even more headcannons about Rhett and his feral sons (Rhett Abbott x Reader)

You absolutely love and adore your sons, but oh are there days where it leaves you and Rhett wondering how they got to be so feral

Rhett was out working one morning and the twins came running back screaming about something cool they found, all you heard was Rhett shouting "NO TATUM THAT'S A COPPERHEAD!!!! PUT IT DOWN OR YOU'RE GONNA GET BIT!!!!"

And when he was fixing the fence one day, all Rhett saw was T-Bone, the herd patriarch, running behind his two boys who were running towards the other end of the pasture.......turns out the bull was herding THEM

Joy and Martha have a piece of land that's close to the lake on the reservation over the hill from the Abbotts which used to belong to Joy's great-grandparents. Amy and Hannah will usually play with Rose while the boys traipse off with Joy and Martha's son, Charlie. Rhett got a text later that day which was a video of the three boys knocking each other off the dock with whiffle-ball bats

Oh and when Papa has to watch them?? That's a whole different story

One day, Royal was watching them and the two little demons came running downstairs with their shirts over their heads screaming that they were "the Great Cornholio" and that they "needed t.p for their bungholes". Turns out Royal had kicked Perry out a while back but forgot that Perry had left his tv in his room and it was stuck on the channel showing Beavis and Butthead

Rhett came home one afternoon that Royal had been watching the grand-ghouls and found them both sitting on the edge of the bathtub, covered in all the washable paint you had gotten them to use on big sheets of paper. You and Rhett were laughing your asses off

There was also one time where the boys dressed in their Indiana Jones costumes that Cecelia had made them for when Halloween came around. They had snuck into the yard of the local church hag because somebody in their little gang of ranch and rez brats had lost their baseball in her yard. The boys snuck in and the nasty woman had chased them all the way back to the property but Royal, Rhett, you and Cecelia were laughing when they came leaping over the fence with the baseball and several other lost-in-the-yard toys under their arms

You guys were getting ready for church one Sunday and it was one where Rhett had to be a reader during services. You had all the kids dressed in their Sunday best but when Tatum and Tanner were nowhere to be found, you and Rhett saw them running around the corner all covered in dirt. Rhett literally had ten minutes to spray them with the garden hose and get them in a fresh set of clothes

Speaking of the garden hose, the two buttheads love to spray each other. You, Rhett and Royal don't mind seeing as the outside of the house and the windows get cleaned but one day they got their Nana with the hose and it was the biggest "oh shit" moment ever

"Roy, I knew those two little buttheads were trouble the minute Rhett showed us (y/n)'s ultrasound photos"

The boys found a giant bullfrog in the pond one day when you took the kids up to visit the Duttons and the boys named this monster frog, "Michigan J. Frog" after their favorite Bugs Bunny character. They'd even sing the song which would have John and Royal laughing their asses off and Rhett biting his lip, trying not to laugh

You and Rhett live for moments like this though

Because even on your hardest days, your boys will always give you a reason to laugh