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lizbug13 · 3 years

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Clingy

Chris Evans x fem/gender neutral!reader

Warnings- angst, fluff, slight eating disorder, insecurities, Chris being a jerk in the beginning

DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY ANY OF THESE!!

Word count: ~2.8k

Author’s note: this is my first writing that anyone else is reading so I hope it’s good! I originally wrote this from a girl’s perspective but I don’t think I used any specifics or pronouns but let me know if there is anything you want to see, whether it be improvements or a story line that you’d like to read.

It was just another day for everyone on set but It was special to me. I was planning on surprising my boyfriend, Chris on set. Anthony has been helping me set this up all week and I was so excited to see him. It had been a while since I really got to see him because of filming and my work but I asked off to come visit him. I was really missing him and he said he missed me too so I took the chance to come see him. Anthony said he was at lunch in his trailer with Sebastian and Jeremy. No one but Anthony knew I was coming. Once I got the the filming location, Anthony let me in and showed me where his trailer was. I was walking up to the door when I hear them talking. As I was about to open the door, I heard my name. Being curious is in my nature, so I stated ease dropping, know I shouldn’t.

“I don’t know guys, I really like them but they just get so clingy and needy sometimes. They always needs to be around and the only breaks I get are filming, and even then they’re constantly calling and texting and trying to visit.” Hearing this broke my heart but I continued to listen. “Maybe they just have trouble with the sudden change, being with you every day to barely seeing you. Have you talked to them?” Sebastian said. Chris groaned and threw his head back. “That’s the problem. I can’t talk to them cause they won’t understand. They’re too stupid and attached to get that I want some space sometimes. They’d just get upset and even needier. I don’t think I could handle that. I really like them but I don’t know how long it’ll last if they keep being a clingy mess. They don’t really take care of themself unless I’m there. They’re always eating junk food and just laying around and it’s exhausting trying to get them to do stuff. Maybe that girl from the makeup trailer would be better…” I didn’t hear what he said after that cause all I could hear was ringing. My whole body felt tingly and I couldn’t breath right. I slowly backed away and put some distance between me and the trailer. I didn’t think any of that was true. I always did stuff with Chris and I was very active. I loved going out and I don’t eat a lot because I’ve always had a very small appetite that he knew about. I started to feel all my insecurities come to the front of my mind. As I was walking away I heard boisterous laughter come from the trailer. They were probably making a joke about me but I couldn’t care less at this point. I started walking back to my car, trying to keep the tears at bay. Anthony saw me and asked what was wrong. I told him that I’m not wanted there so I was leaving and thanked him for his help. I managed to make it home before bursting into tears. I had no idea he felt that way, I had tried to hold back on being clingy but I guess it wasn’t enough. I went to take a shower and ended up staying in there for a couple hours stuck in my head.

After I eventually got out, I texted Chris. We had plans to get dinner together tomorrow night but I didn’t feel like seeing him yet. I told him that I was busy and couldn’t get dinner tomorrow and that I was sorry. “I thought you cleared tomorrow to see me? It’s okay but I miss you. We can reschedule dinner but I hope to see you soon xoxo❤️” He must have been really putting up a front on caring about me. I decided to not respond and watched some television. I was really exhausted front the emotionally draining day and decided to head to bed early. I stayed up crying for while before I passed out from exhaustion. I woke up the next morning around 8 am. I went to make something to eat when I thought about what Chris said yesterday and decided on a glass of water instead. I went upstairs to put on some active clothing so I could head to the gym. If Chris thought I was lazy and ate too much then I was going to change that and it could help clear my head. After I got dressed I checked my phone. I had a text from him which surprised me. “Hey baby! You never texted back yesterday so I assume you got busy but I love you and I hope you have a good day. If you end up not being busy you should stop by and see me! Text me when you get this xoxo❤️” this brought tears to my eyes but I refused to let them fall. I ignored the text and finished getting ready for the gym. Once I got there, I started at the treadmill. I put headphones in and started a run. I lost track of time while being there and ended up staying until about 4 in the afternoon. I eventually heading back home and was glad that I didn’t share a house with Chris, know he had the afternoon off. Once I got back to my house, I started to feel dizzy. I shrugged it off and when to take a shower. After I got cleaned and dressed I went and grabbed an apple and ate it. I usually watch tv for awhile before dinner but the nagging voice in the back of my head wouldn’t let me sit down and relax so I decided to clean instead. After a couple of hours cleaning the whole house, there was a knock on my door. I was confused cause I wasn’t expecting any company. As I opened the door, my heart dropped. There stood Chris in all his frustrating glory. “Hey babe. I saw your car in the drive and didn’t know if you were busy. I missed you and wanted to see you real quick.” He said with his breathtaking smile. I stood there frozen, I didn’t know what to say. “Y/n?” I snapped out of my daze and said “Hey Chris. What are you doing here?”

“Well I missed my person and we originally had plans and I wanted to see you.” He smiled again. It was hard to stay neutral, all I wanted was to cry in that moment. “Um, yeah. Come on in if you want.” He stepped into the house and complimented the cleanliness. I gave him a tight lipped smile and headed to the kitchen. He followed and sat at the bar. It was silent for awhile as I got him a drink and kept cleaning the kitchen. He tried to make conversation but I wouldn’t give him much to work with. Eventually he got frustrated. “Is something wrong?” He asked out of no where. I was taken back for a minute. “No. I told you I was busy today plus this kitchen hasn’t been deep cleaned in a while. I wouldn’t want to let it go and be lazy.” He made an incredulous face and asked what that was supposed to mean. I said nothing and kept cleaning. He huffed and stood up. “Well since you’re so busy right now, I’ll leave you be and see you when you have some time.” He went to give me a kiss but I turned my head at the last second so he kissed my cheek instead. He looked confused but shrugged it off. He left telling me he loved me and hoped to see me soon. This went on for a few more weeks, me telling him that’s I’m busy and can’t meet up or when we do meet up, I make sure to keep distance and not be clingy. He seemed to get irritated with this which make no sense, I thought this was what he wanted. One day he came over right after I came back from the gym. “Hey baby. I need to talk to you.” I led him inside and we sat on the couch, him at one end and me at the other.

“Listen, you’ve seen pretty distant lately. You’ve been working out a lot and have lost a lot of weight. Is everything okay? Are you planning on breaking up with me?” He asked sadly. I scoffed, he has the audacity to ask me that. “No I haven’t been planning on breaking up with you and I’ve just been busy and wanting to be more active lately. Is that a problem?” He looked at me with wide eyes. “It isn’t a problem but you’ve become really skinny and it’s worrying me. You haven’t been wanting to be around me and I haven’t seen you eat a real meal in weeks. I miss you and I want you to be healthy.” I started to get angry and tear up. “I was just trying not to be clingy and lazy like you wanted. I was trying to be better for you and that’s still not good enough for you!” He was taken back. “What are you talking about?” I stood up and walked around the coffee table. “I heard you talking a few weeks ago, about how I was being too clingy and how I wasn’t active enough. I heard you saying this stuff about me and then talk about the makeup girl who you thought might like better than me. You know how much that hurt me? Do you know how heartbroken I was and how much I tried to change to be better for you!? Because I love you and I don’t want you to choose some other girl over me!?” I screamed at him. I started to get really dizzy and almost fall, only for Chris to catch me. “Wow, easy there. When was the last time you ate?” He questions as he laid me on the couch. I tried to think but I couldn’t recall when that was. He looked worried as he went to the kitchen to get me something to eat and drink. He came back with a sandwich and a can of soda. I took a bite and almost threw up. He got me a trash can but encouraged me to keep eating. I eventually got the whole sandwich down and most of my drink. “Why would you do this to yourself baby?” He look almost on the verge of crying. I accidentally let some tears fall as well and looked at him. “I thought it was what you wanted. I thought if I looked better and gave you the space you wanted, you wouldn’t leave me for the makeup girl.” He shook his head and pulled me in for a kiss.

“I never should have said that. I never should have talked behind your back at all but I didn’t mean it. I was frustrated and the crew kept making fun of me for checking my phone between ever take and I let it get to me. I convinced myself that you were being clingy and I said it to the guys. I don’t know why I let it get to that and I never should’ve even tho ught that but I promise I don’t want space and I don’t think you need to be more active. I love you exactly the way you are and I’m sorry I made you doubt that. I wanna make it up to you and show you that I’m sorry.” He was sobbing at this point. If he hadn’t been there, who know what would have happened to me. “If you didn’t mean it, why did you talk about leaving me for the makeup girl and that she was probably better?” I asked him. “No no baby, I never said she was better. I thought she might be better to ask about girl stuff too. After I said all the stuff to the boys about being clingy, Seb suggested that maybe something was going on and I thought that the makeup girl could help me better understand and comprehend what was going on with you cause after I got the frustration out, I was worried that something was wrong. I’m so sorry doll, I never wanted you to feel this way. I love you so much baby.” He put his forehead against mine and held me close. We sat like that for awhile before he spoke up again. “Please let me make it up to you? I never want you to feel this way again, especially because of me. It’s the least you deserve and I’ve missed you so much love.” He said and I could see the sincerity and live in his eyes. He was telling the truth. I nodded. “I’ll give you another chance but you need to show me that you won’t do this again, I don’t think I could take another.” He started nodding and chuckled while crying. He sniffed and pulled me into a kiss. His kiss was hard and intimate, his way of showing me that he really meant it. “Let’s go take a shower and then get ready for dinner. I made reservations at that Chinese restaurant you love.” He said with a huge smile. I chuckled and we got ready. During dinner, he gave me his undivided attention. He listened to everything I had to say and every story from the weeks where we barely saw each other. He refused to let go of my hand the entire dinner, not even to eat, smiling from ear to ear. I chuckled and said, “you know, that’s a little clingy of you.” His face dropped for a second until he saw my smile and smile back, chuckling. “Well it’s the least I can do to show my girl how much she means to me. I really, truly do love you for the bottom of my heart kitten.” I blushed heavily at the pet name and almost choked on my drink. “Christopher! You don’t wanna start that in a restaurant but I love you too.” I give him a quick kiss before going back to eating. He showed me that he really did regret saying that stuff and that he loves me. Once the dinner ended, we headed back to his car. Before we got in, he stopped me.

“Listen, you know I love you and this is a way I’m trying to show you. I’ve been planning this for awhile but now seems like a good time to ask. I don’t want you to think this is only because of what happened because this has been a long time coming and you can even ask Sebastian and Anthony but will you move in with me? I miss waking up next to you and seeing you everyday. I love having you around and so does dodge. It would me me very happy to know you’re always there and taken care of.” He looks at me it’s a hopeful gaze. I start to tear up and he gets worried. “Baby? You don’t have to if you don’t want to or if it’s too soon. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you upset. I…” I cut him off with a kiss. “Of course I’ll move in with you silly. I love you so much Chris and I could be more thankful for you. I forgive you for what you said and I couldn’t be happier with you. I love waking up next to you too.” He relaxes and smiles at me again. He kisses me and opens the passenger door for me. He drives up to his, our house and opens them door for me. We walk up together and right before we go in, he pic ks me up bridal style and walks me through the front door. “Welcome home baby.” I knew it was the right choice to give him another chance and he definitely made it up to me(😏) and when the end of the night, he held me close and whispered how much he loved me and how happy I made him. He talked about anything and everything, from our future to what he had planned in his career until we both fell asleep. I knew that as long as I had him in my life, he was gonna show his love for me and I was gonna be happy.

Author’s note pt. 2: If anyone wants to be in the tag list let me know! I’m more than happy to tag anyone and let me know if you like it! I’d really appreciate any and all positivity! I hope you guys like it!🖤

Taglist: @saltyflowermakertaco

#chris evans #chris evans angst #chris evans fluff #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x reader #Chris evans x reader angst #Chris evans x reader fluff

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stormblessed95 · 2 years

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BTS NOW 2 In Europe & America

My thoughts and commentary as I watch the NOW DVDs! I asked if people wanted me to post my thoughts as I watched and the majority did, so here we are. There is only 1 DVD in this package again, about an hour and a half long. The other part of this was just the photobook and extra photo goodies, such as posters. Reminder that these are just my thoughts, it's not very organized. You get me typing it out as I go like I'm reacting to a friend. Somewhat like a bullet point format in a way.

NOW 2 in Europe & America was filmed during mid 2014 (140725 - 1408012 to be specific) and released in February of 2015. They filmed in Germany, Stockholm, São Paulo, and in LA. You can find all their twitter posts from this time on their main twt page.

The DVD starts off with them heading to Germany! What's interesting is that they allow them to pick their subunits this time. Sort of. Lol they each individually pick first to third who they would most like to do a photoshoot with. If two members both pick each other, then they will be a unit together! Here is who everyone picked:

RM: picked first Tae, because they get along together very well, second Jimin and third Jin. He said not Hope this time since they were a unit last time.

Suga: his first pick is Jhope, he said because he is extremely unmotivated and Hobi would make him be more motivated. Second Jimin for the same reason. And third RM, because they haven't done a lot of shoots together so it might be fun.

Jin: first he picked Jhope, because he is such a fun and cheerful guy and he always has fun shooting with him. Second was JK, because he is fun and comfortable to be around. Third was Jimin, because he is a mellow guy who can fit in anywhere and doing anything.

J-hope: He picked Tae for first, because he is such a handsome guy and takes good pictures. Second he picked Jimin, because he feels very comfortable around and with Jimin and it would make shooting easier. And third he picked Suga, because they work well together and it would be easier to share space and ideas.

Jimin: His first pick is also Tae, because he is comfortable. His second pick is Hope, again, because he is comfortable with Hobi and there is never any awkwardness and it would be an easy shoot. And third he picked Jin, because he is super good at photoshoots so it would go well and because he is such a handsome guy.

JK: first pick again Tae! Lol because they get along great for photoshoots. Second he picked Jin because they are comfortable and he is photogenic, and third he picked RM, because they rarely do unit shoots together and have very little photos together and he would really like some.

Tae: Who basically had his pick since he was almost everyone's first choice. Lmao his first choice was RM! Because they both like having their photos taken and take pictures of each other a lot too so they would work well together. His second pick is Jimin because they are same age friends and get along great. And third he picked Hope, he says for nothing to do with the photoshoot, taking pictures is all business. He picked Hobi third because he is just a lot of fun to hang out with.

Units got set up as follows: TaeJoon, Sopemin, and JinKook! The chaos that followed this announcement was wonderful. Lol jikook also were squeezed so snugly together on that couch even though there was definitely more room to spread out. Lol

Solos shoots went first! Their eyeliner and makeup were dramatic as heck. Omg 😂 Suga keeps pretending to be shooting coffee commercials and Hobi making faces to the camera behind him is taking me out lmao Jimins shy and excited giggles when one of the staff told him that he looked like a New Yorker was so cute. Yoonkook introducing their next location. And then the iconic line from Suga "we are going to a bridge. My mom told me she adopted me from under a bridge. I'm going to my birthplace" 😂🤣 Please!

Their unit shoots start off with trying to pick team names and it's bickering right from the start. They settle on Generation Gap (Jinkook), UJJ, which stands for Noncommittal (Sopemin), and High-end (TaeJoon). Their concept is High-end Fashion. Each team up come up with their own theme for the shoot, and the one who does it best gets a prize, the others get punishments.

Sopemin picked their theme as hand in hand. And they were out here doing acrobatics. Like my goodness! Lmao I'm glad no one got hurt! But they did a good job! JinKook were goofy yet cool at the same time and somehow that Fits them perfectly. And the other teams spent their whole shoot heckling them! Taejoon were jumping and wearing their clothes in fascinating ways, with Jinkook heckling them in turn. Lol fascinating concept ideas, truly.

Solo shoots again! New location, New outfits, intense makeup still hanging around! Lmao JK taking a camera to film Jimin with. Filming him walking to his shoot and waiting for him and filming him after his shoot, asking how it went. 🥺 JK filming a sopemin unit shoot with the running commentary of "looking good" and zooming in on all 3 of them in turn. He then films Tae, Hope and RM briefly before returning to Jimin, who isn't eager to be filmed. JK asks how he is, Jimin replies "upset now that you are here." They banter back and forth for a while, JK basically saying he isn't going to leave Jimin alone until he is happy and apologizing (?) Before Jimin gives in and giggles along with him and smiles. (Gif set of this moment here) This ends JKs camera time, as they all go and get ice cream.

Off to Sweden now for our second shoot! Jin and Jhope arguing over who is the "pretty boy" and I promise, it's both of you! Jimin taking off his sunglasses and showing off the freckles the makeup noonas gave him before saying "don't I look like Anne of Green Gables?" 🥺 JK feeling shy because of his makeup and Jimin poking his cheek and telling him that he thinks he looks cute. 🥺 Jin saying that JK, Jimin, RM, Tae and Suga are all a couple because of their matching makeup freckles 😂 Jimin LOVED his look for real. And Joonie had ice cream charms in his eyebrow! Quite the look. JK was NOT a fan though. Lmao he said he slept through his makeup and when he woke up he saw lots of blush and freckles and thought he was sick! Lol

NOW 2 has been giving me so much yoonmin in these unit shoots and I'm loving it! They paired up for a bit for a shoot in sweden (and honestly I every location we get a unit with them!) and were so cute! JK took their photos together too while they were posing. The amount of JinKook chin tickling! Omg during their unit shoot Hobi goes to make a lame joke and Tae immediately turns and goes "Hyung, do you still want my respect??" And Joon just about falls over he starts laughing SO HARD. 🤣 omg Savage!

JK again gets a camera and gives us an explaination that rhey are looking for a new location because too many people (locals) were around making it hard to shoot. Then we hear Jimin "I want to be on camera!" And JK starts filming Jimin and telling him he looks cute and his outfit is cute. The giggle together a bit before JM leaves to go finish his shoot. He films Hobi introducing the Nobel Muesum, them cooing over a little dog and the weather, before going "oh! It's Jimin hyung" and zooming in on JMs face across the square. Lmao just for Jimin to then break out into a song and dance in front of all those random people to make them laugh. And of course Hobi runs over to start dancing with him too. They finish up in Sweden when it starts to rain with solo shoots in the rain with black umbrellas looking so sweet!

Kicking things off by heading over to Brazil now! Everyone loved the scenery there and HopeKook walked around with their cameras glued to them basically. Non stop photos. Lol and Yoongi never missing a chance to tell us that he is tired before he shoots. Jimin watching his Suga hyungs solo shoot and calling him a pretty boy and that he is good at this 🥺 teasing Hobi during his shoot but also taking his own photos of him. Squatting so that the makeup Noona can touch up his makeup before his shoot easier. I love Jimin I swear. Taekook giggling together over something on JKs phone. JK filming Tae and teasing over him not knowing their concept and them making their photographer shy by saying they are placing their trust in him and calling him Sunbae-nim. The amount of giggles from both members and staff during unit shoots and group shots at this location was just pure serotonin. It really seemed like they were having fun too!

And then we head on over to the USA for the final destination! Our first glimpse of the boys in LA is Sope shouting in excitement over In and Out. Lol their first shooting location is actually on a yacht. And for those who watched AHL, you will recognize the owner and the boat. Lmao it's the same one that Tae, Jin and Hope cleaned as one of their jobs. Everyone was so excited to go out on the boat though and take photos there. Jikook sharing headphones together for a bit too 🥺

TaeKook doing titanic poses at the bow. Suga speaking seriously about how he has never been on a boat before just to hear Tae shouting in the back "VERY NICE BOAT!" lmao. Shooting starts and I swear the smile hasn't left their faces since the boat left the dock! They do a group shoot and JK is standing up right against the railing and when everyone gets jostled Jimin reaches out to steady JK and make sure he doesn't fall. And then Tae getting to learn how to drive the boat!

When they move to their next location, we hear Jimin behind the camera for JKs solo shoot saying that he just oozes power towards the camera during this. Lol yes, he looks very cool. After solo shoots, they move back to their units from the mission, remember those units from Germany?? We are back!!

High fashion team went first (taejoon) and Tae came up with their theme which was honeymooners where he was the bride and Joonie was the groom. Lmao Generation Gap (Jinkook) went second and it was clearly their turn for acrobatics lmao Jin on JKs shoulders and them climbing things too. Hobi at the UJJ team (Sopemin) keep it simple for theirs, including fake running while lying down. Lol they also did solo shoots and few other unit shoots here as well.

And this ended their trip!! Back in Seoul we finally found out who wins the team photo missions! And Not them being asked who they think will LOSE. They totally took that as an opportunity to just roast each other. Lmao Sopemin said it would be Taejoon who lose because they "overdid it and act too much." Taejoon said it would be Jinkook because they "neither of them are photogenic and they are lame." JinKook also choose Taejoon, and they just giggled instead of giving a reason. Lmfao please they are so rude to each other sometimes! 😂🤣

Sopemin won by staff votes! Lol the other 4 members had a penalty of having their faces blurred out for the rest of the DVD (only like a minute lol). Jimin said they won all thanks to Suga who came up with so many different ideas for their concepts and poses. It was cute. The total roast session ended sweetly.

And that's the end! These photoshoot DVDs are cute and sweet and fun. I am definitely enjoying them and they aren't too long either! It's nice seeing them have so much fun taking these photos too even though I also know its hard work. Thanks for letting me share! 💜

#my thoughts over now in europe and america #my thoughts over bts now dvd #my thoughts over bts now 2 dvd #jikook #kookmin

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1ddiscourseoftheday · 3 years

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Tues 8 June ‘21

Harry recorded a message that was played at the Stoneman Douglas High School graduation; SD is the school in Parkland Florida that in 2018 became the site of the deadliest school shooting in US history. Harry has consistently been a vocal supporter of the student activism to curb gun violence that followed the shooting (it was when he added the Stop Gun Violence stickers to his guitar and he spoke about it before when playing near there on HSLOT, for example, as well as signing on to things and donating money and talking about the bravery of the young women leading the effort in particular). “You are an incredibly strong group of people and I have no doubt that you’ll all do incredible things whatever you chose to do in the future, so good luck, love each other and be nice to each other and I hope at some point I’ll get to see you guys,” he said in the video.

A blurry blob in a blue hoodie in London last night was said to be him, out for a stroll, Don’t Worry Darling was announced to be set for release next year, and some fans literally chased Harry and Olivia down the street while filming them against their wishes (recently, not today, seems like she might be back in the US with Jason now that his filming is wrapped) and then people tried to blame their behavior on... larries?? UM did larries possess them and force them to literally chase a person asking to be left alone I DON’T BELIEVE SO, I am BEGGING you guys to quit listening to anything anyone on twitter says. My Policeman is filming in Hitchin, at a location reported by local media to be “shrouded in mystery”, but I’m pretty sure the hordes gathered to peep at filming have killed any aura of mystery at this point. They are working on location at a pool in Butts Close (YEAH I KNOW) and are apparently besieged with fans, some of whom managed to get more pictures of a blurry blob said to be Harry- this time in tiny yellow short shorts (2021/1950 version)!

Niall and Anne Marie’s Tonight Show performance aired! Anne Marie’s black and white cheetah print lined three piece outfit is amazing, like Niall is pushing the envelope a little with shapes and fits but her look takes center stage I’m afraid; anyway also they sound great and are cute, yes yes.

Liam has been in his discord lots, commenting on things and polling people. Current polls, yes no or wtf about NFTs, which landslide result (wtf) got him to say yeah okay I’ll make an explainer, and should we rename my fandom which resulted in a chat for people to make suggestions. About front runner Paynedora’s Box (Liam’s own amazing suggestion) he said “it came to me as I thought it meant every type of fan is a possibility, never know what you’re going to encounter.” Yes plus Pandora’s Box was full of demons! Apt indeed though Liam’s fans are sweeter than some, it’s true. He gives a little love to Champaynes too, which is good though given our boy’s struggle with alcohol addiction I’ll stick with my vote for the first one. He posted from an “impromptu night photoshoot” (about which his hair guy said “bringing the grit back, prepping for a very exciting launch…”), followed NFT co-creator Gabe Damast who later posted some behind the scenes talk about the making of Lonely Bug (with glimpses!) and the page for animated film Ron’s Gone Wrong, which he commented about (“this looks amazing!”), liked a Lonely Bug fanart of the bug with his face on it, and signed on to a UNICEF letter, along with 28 other celebs, asking the G7 (rich countries) to donate vaccines for distribution where most needed. And he was seen today at a Top Golf! An employee posted a distanced pic with him. Also btw those necklaces he’s been wearing all the time lately are apparently diamonds and are £50k each, but he wasn’t wearing them for golf time at least.

And additional bits from Liam’s interview from yesterday because it’s REALLY LONG, one recap wasn’t enough-- Liam said he definitely has not yet figured out what makes him happy (which makes me sad although also, normalize not having it all figured out in your 20s I don’t think that’s unusual) and talked about the difficulty of figuring out what to do when you’ve already accomplished your life goal so young, he mentioned the people speaking out against the X Factor and that he thinks there needs to be a care system for people in those shows, and said “find you a man who looks at you like Russell Brand looks at you when he’s listening to your stories, he looks into your soul,” and when host Steve talks about meditating naked says “now that’s what I want to think about!” (they’d been talking about what to focus your thoughts on for meditation). He said he wants to experiment with the way he does promo, specifically to wait to see if a song is doing well before doing press tours that might not have any point and that he thinks the industry is in a place where they need to throw out the old molds, and he talked about the industry wasting money on things they don’t need to do for promo. “You have your fanbase, grow it organically, properly,” he said, which is so much more true for any one of the 1D boys than anyone else, for sure, and it makes sense he’d say this stuff not just for the obvious reasons- we’ve all seen how badly labels have fallen short with post 1D solo stuff- but also because the 1D fandom always has been in a position out at the forefront of new ways that fan engagement work (as Liam points out, he talked about the perfect storm of the rise of twitter trends and of 1D) and modeling what will be next for other artists, so trying to fit it into old boxes doesn’t make sense, and it’s still true. Other solo artists simply DON’T HAVE the same kind of fandom these five do, and trying to market them the same way you would any random artist is just throwing away money and engagement! So it is exciting to see these guys take the lead on their own stuff and experiment with new ways of doing things, and Liam is smashing it at that.

#harry styles #niall horan #liam payne #tw gun violence #tw shooting #drag we down #my policeman filming #butts close #there's a very short shorts/butt's close joke to be made but eh #his butt is... close to the bottom of those shorts?? HEH? idk you'll just have to imagine it #something pretty much like that only actually funny #can anyone come up wiht good Liam fandom names I WANNA HEAR THEM #8 jun 21 #tw alcoholism

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kaetiesmindpalace · 3 years

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Can’t Fight This Feeling -- A Destination Fear One Shot (Alex Schroeder/Reader)

Requested by @gpiggy98 | Also found on AO3

It was the start of the second road trip of the new season. Excitement and a bit of anxiousness filled the RV. Dakota decided to investigate the Bowman Estate in Cuttingsville, Vermont. It is said that the ghost of Jennie Bowman moved a painting off the wall to hit a misbehaving person on the head. The fact that objects are known to move and specifically hit people made the crew being a bit anxious as to what may happen to them since no official paranormal investigation has been done.

You were the most anxious out of the crew. Although you were signed to be a part of the season, a scheduling conflict made it so you could only do the second road trip and not the first. This made the Bowman Estate the first location you have ever investigated with Destination Fear, though you had had a chance to urban investigate a couple times before. You had been close friends with the crew for many years, especially with Alex. Through the years, you started to fall in love with your best friend, yet you never said anything. Why possibly ruin your friendship when feelings can be fleeting and/or unreciprocated?

You and Chelsea went to the front of the RV to see the location while Alex was sitting across from Tanner and Dakota who were at the table.

“Wait, is this it?” Chelsea asks.

“This is it,” Dakota responds with a smirk on his face.

“Dude, this is so cool!” you exclaim, excitement taking the wheel from anxiety for just a moment.

“Wait, let me see!” Tanner proclaims as he bumps in between Chelsea and you causing the three of you to laugh.

“Get out of here, it was our turn in the front to see the location,” Chelsea giggles out while pushing Tanner back to where he was originally seated.

“Fine,” Tanner says in a disappointed tone, causing everyone to chuckle.

The RV quickly comes to a stop. Everyone gets out with equipment in hand and scopes out the location while figuring out a gear room. Once everything is set up, it is time for the investigation.

“For tonight’s investigation, I would like to start us off in small groups. Tanner, Chelsea, and I will be one group while you two will be paired together,” Dakota states with a smirk on his face and a subtle wink at you.

Tanner and Chelsea both had the same type of smirk on their face as Dakota. Your guess is your crush on Alex had not been subtle to them. If that were the case, did that mean that Alex already knew? If he knew, why has he not said anything about it? Maybe he is just as oblivious as a typical guy is. Your nerves were already getting to the better of you knowing that you would be alone with Alex. Normally, everyone would hang out together, so you have not been alone with him since you developed more than platonic feelings.

“Alright, see you guys,” you say, wanting to get this done and over with.

They nod in response before heading the opposite direction.

You were already nervous about the location. Add being alone with your crush and you are an anxious ball of nerves. You kept looking everywhere on the way to and even in the mausoleum but at him, partially because you wanted to see the location and the other part just trying to avoid possible embarrassment.

“Hey, are you alright?” Alex asks you after a while of walking in what must have been silence.

“Uh...yeah. I’m fine,” you respond probably a bit too quickly.

He gives you a knowing look. It does not help that he is your best friend and can tell something is off.

“Really, I’m fine. Just nervous about what we might find,” you reply.

“I think there’s more to it. You’ve seemed kind of distant from me for a bit,” he mentions, a slight hurt expression on his face.

“You’ve done nothing wrong. I’m just stuck in my own head about things right now,” you assure him as best as you can without letting slip that your feelings for him have been consuming your mind since you split off from the others.

“You can tell me what’s wrong. I can and want to help you,” Alex says.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it,” you dismiss.

“It’s obviously something if it’s making you overthink and almost nervous,” he states this time with concern in his tone.

“Just forget about it. Let’s focus on exploring this place,” you try dismissing again. You really did not want to talk about this, especially with the one causing your nerves.

“It’ll be easier if we talk about this. Please, tell me what’s wrong and why you’re this nervous. I want to help,” Alex pleads.

“We’re separated from the group and it’s because I have feelings for you, you dingus” you admit.

You quickly cover your mouth after that; your brain-to-mouth filter failing you in a crucial moment. You could feel your cheeks flushing as you stood their embarrassed while Alex just blinked at you wordlessly. Your instincts told you to leave and leave now to avoid any further humiliation.

While patting your pockets you say, “I think I left something behind. Let me just…” before running back the way you came to get out of the situation. You started running through the mausoleum to its exit before running outside in search for the RV. You could hear footsteps running behind you as you went.

Before you got far, you felt a hand grab your wrist and, with the gentlest of tugs, turned you. You were now face to face with Alex.

“Why did you take off running? Also, don’t give me the excuse that you forgot something, I can already tell that that is a lie,” he asks.

“Because I just made a complete fool of myself. We’ve been best friends for years and I had to go and ruin it all because I have feelings for you that obviously are not reciprocated since you just stared at me in silence,” you respond.

He lets out a chuckle before saying, “I like you too, you dingus. Your statement just took me by surprise is all.”

Now you were speechless, only being able to let out an “Oh.”

There were a couple beats of silence before Alex asks, “Is it okay if I kiss you right now?” while turning a slight shade of pink.

Instead of a verbal response, you simply nod your head with a huge smile spreading across your face.

He cups your cheek in his left hand and leans in. You meet him in the middle, both of your eyes closing as you kiss each other. It feels surreal that this is happening. You did not feel the fireworks that all those stories say when you meet “the one,” but it just felt right and what was meant to happen. The kiss was not a simple peck, but it was not a make out session either. It was just the right amount needed, especially since you guys were supposed to be filming a TV show instead of kissing.

Slowly pulling away and opening your eyes, you saw a huge grin on Alex’s face which you were already mimicking.

“Come on, we have a job to do,” you say while bumping into his side.

Alex lets out a chuckle before agreeing with you as you make your way back into the building. While investigating, the two of you did hear some disembodied voices coming from a woman and a man. Happy baby sounds were also heard at one point. Nothing was decipherable, but it was shocking, nonetheless. After some time, the two of you stopped by the gear room, which just so happened to coincide with the others being there.

“So…how’d it go?” Tanner asks while wiggling his eyebrows.

“Oh, you know, the usual paranormal stuff. We heard some disembodied voices. Hopefully the cameras caught them,” you answer, blatantly ignoring the implications Tanner was insinuating.

“And? Anything else?” Dakota asks in a tone suggesting there is more he is not saying.

“And what? Investigating is our priority here,” Alex answers, taking your hint as to not revealing more just to toy with your friends.

Chelsea seemed to cave from the suspense and blurts out, “Well, have the two of you finally realized your feelings for each other or not?”

You and Alex look at each other with mock expressions of surprise. Dakota, Chelsea, and Tanner go wide-eyed, thinking they ruined the possibility before Alex breaks the surprise to start laughing. Shortly after he starts laughing, you join.

“You should see the looks on your faces, holy hell,” you guffaw out, hands on your knees from laughing so hard.

“You guys were not subtle in the slightest in what you were trying to do, you know,” Alex chuckles out.

Your three friends all remained silent while you two took the time to catch your breaths. When you finally stood back up, you give Alex a kiss on the cheek.

While looking at Chelsea, Dakota, and Tanner, you say, “It did end up working though. You could say my brain-to-mouth filter decided to stop fighting this feeling and speak its mind.”

You hear Tanner let out a whoop, which caused everyone to chuckle.

“For once, one of your ideas was actually good,” Alex says to Dakota, which caused the group to laugh again.

“Now this is an interesting start to a new road trip,” Chelsea says with a smile on her face.

“Alright, let’s get back to work,” you say, wanting to explore more of this location.

With a quick nod, the five of you took off into the Bowman House, also known as Laurel Hall. With your 3 best friends and an amazing partner by your side, you knew you could take on anything.

#kaetie writes #destination fear #alex schroeder #alex schroeder/reader #chelsea laden #dakota laden #tanner wiseman #paranormal investigation #friends to lovers #feelings realization #ghost show

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the-seas-song · 3 years

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Richard Armitage and Astrology

Hi! I find astrology fascinating, and am an armchair expert on it myself, so I found Richard's comments in his recent Total Film Magazine interview very interesting. This is what he said:

I’ve been incredibly lucky. I’ve dabbled with having my celestial chart looked at every couple of years, just for a little tune-up. Every time, the guy sighs, and goes, “What can I say? You’ve just got a sprinkle of luck.” And I say, “That’s good, because I don’t have the talent, so I really need the luck!”

[cut]

There is a naughty, dark side to me. I am quite strongly affected by the moon. So if there’s a full moon I’ll go a bit crazy. (source)

This isn't the first time Richard's mentioned astrology – he's mentioned being a Leo, reading his daily horoscope, and finding out he was born in the Chinese Year of the Pig; but these were all informal twitter comments. He has also mentioned the effect the moon has on him before, in February 2020:

“Everyone has cycles of positive mental and emotional feelings and negative mental and emotional feelings and I know that I am profoundly affected on a monthly cycle. I always look at the calendar when I'm feeling particularly low and check the lunar cycle to see if it's a full or new moon.” (source)

However, what prompted me to write this is that Richard's personal put-downs were even more direct here than usual; and the connection that has to his natal, or birth, chart.

A little disclaimer: Personally, I think general horoscopes (like the ones you find in magazines) do far more harm than good. They are based solely on the twelve sun signs, and your sun sign is just one puzzle piece out of 25+ pieces that make up your natal chart. This is why many people don't relate to their horoscope or it's personality description.

Your natal chart, however, is a whole different animal. It's an intricate puzzle created by the exact date, time, and location you were born; which is why most people find their natal charts to be scarily accurate.

Back during the Hobbit days, a fan blog reported that Richard told a NZ fan that his birth time was just after 4 a.m. I used 4:05 for this post, and being off by a few minutes doesn't really make a difference.

Richard and self-esteem

I really feel for and relate to Richard's self-esteem struggles, because our charts mirror each other. We are both Leo suns; but I have my moon in Aries with my MC and Chiron conjunct each other in Virgo and sextile my North Node; while Richard has his moon in Virgo with his MC and Chiron conjunct each other in Aries and sextile his North Node.

What on earth does that mean?

Each planet represents a different part of you. The sun represents your ego/conscious self; the moon your emotions, mercury your mind/intellect, venus love and beauty/aesthetics, mars passion and drive, etc.

On top of the twelve planets, there are specific points and asteroids that are also important. Your MC, or Midheaven, represents your career and public persona. Your North Node describes your inner journey and life purpose. The asteroid Chiron describes your major soul wound, that you will be forced to deal with throughout your life.

A conjunction and a sextile are two of several different kinds of aspects. The different kinds of aspects are the different ways your respective puzzle pieces can interact with each other. Some are 'easy/positive' and some 'difficult/negative'. A sextile is considered easy/positive. A conjunction means two things are next to each other and overlap with one another, and is usually considered positive.

Leo and Aries are both fire signs. Fire signs are generally playful, warm, passionate, confident, and optimistic. Virgo is an earth sign. Earth signs are generally practical, grounded, sensual, and logical.

Richard's personality is dominated by an almost equal amount of Leo and Virgo influence, with both his sun (core self) and venus (love and beauty) in Leo and his moon (emotions) and mercury (mind) in Virgo.

Aries and Virgo are said to be the most difficult Chiron signs, because they are the wounds tied directly to your self-worth (Aries is the wound of Self and Virgo is the wound of Perfection). With Aries Chiron you feel a core sense of worthlessness, like you're missing a fundamental piece of your core self. This deeply felt lack of self-worth leads people to be people pleasers and have issues with confrontation and conflict.

Aries rules the planet mars. It is the warrior planet of passion, drive, and combat. A conventional Aries is confident, outgoing, impulsive, and strong willed. Aries and mars are definitely the rowdiest sign and planet in the zodiac. However, with Chiron here the traits are inverted, and so someone like Richard is much more likely to be scared of his inner passion, confidence, and willpower – depending, of course, on what the rest of his chart is like.

That leads us to Virgo. Chiron Virgo feels impure, like there is something fundamentally wrong with them. This kind of low self-esteem makes you feel like you have to constantly try to 'fix' yourself so people will love and accept you. It's an OCD type of perfectionism that only ends in failure and heartbreak.

A good example of how this works is when I talked to my therapist recently. I hadn't quite succeeded in meeting my goals, and so my automatic response was to condemn myself for failing. My therapists immediate response was to congratulate me on how much progress I had made.

Ironically, unlike with Aries, this isn't an inversion of the conventional Virgo. Conventional Virgo is meticulous, detail-oriented, focused, patient, efficient, practical, perfectionistic, systematic, and pessimistic with high expectations. If Aries is the official warrior of the zodiac, Virgo is the official nit-picker.

This means that Richard's subconscious intellectually (mercury) and emotionally (moon) expects and demands perfection, whilst simultaneously feeling fundamentally worthless. In short: ouch.

Interestingly, a significant number of celebrities have their Chiron conjunct their MC. Personally, I think Richard hit the nail on the head as to why in his essay on the Human Condition for Cybersmile:

The answer in my humble opinion, (and believe me it is humble, to a point of taking 43 years to be shared) is actually something which applies to my work as an actor. It’s why sometimes actors are called in to work with therapists, in large corporations, in schools. It’s why drama therapy is fantastic to understand what we do, how we do it and what the outcome might be, and in an improvisation where we aren’t playing ourselves sometimes we explore avenues that are too frightening or unacceptable in our own lives.

[cut]

So going back to my very first point, the “social media society” in which we’d all like to feel safe, supported, excited, creative, spontaneous, innovative, courageous, is really in our own hands. And back to acting, it’s taken me a long time to shake off the effects of bullying in school. That people were always laughing behind my back. I was always looking out of the corner of my eye. I now have incredible peripheral vision which is so useful, (as is Kinesthetic sense…Google it) but try being a brave, experimental, uninhibited actor with all of those hang ups. Wasn’t happening.

So here is the thing, and it’s key to my work and I think ours as a community. When we speak or write, we ultimately desire to ‘affect’. If we aren’t watching the destination of that affect, then how do we know our words have landed and the ‘effect’ they have caused?

[cut]

If I have a strong opinion about something which I want to express I really task myself with backing it up with the ‘why do I feel that?’

Again it’s part of my work building a believable character, and actually part of building a believable ‘me’ outside of my work. Just.. “because that’s what I feel” is a bit of a cop out.

[cut]

As for Bullying, it’s like the moment the pot boils over, or it’s the poisoned stream that can’t be cleansed, so why bother. Well I think that’s what art is for. It’s can support the best and the worst of ourselves. We can ‘attack’ a canvas with black angry paint, we can ‘savage’ a piano keyboard, we can dance until we drop, we can read about a Puritan society who executed elders, we can explore the psychology of a serial killer, and when we can’t do this ourselves we can experience it, and witness it through others.

It’s more than being nice. Edward Munch’s “The Scream” is far from nice. Francisco Goya’s “Saturn” is horrific, Metallica, Die Antwoort etc etc. But then there is Monet, Faure, Renée Fleming, Peter Jackson, Ariana Grande (ok it’s getting a bit eclectic I admit) but when we look, listen and empathize, we tune in to the Human Condition.

We are all part of The Human Condition, whether we like it or not. Social Media. Expression. The Human Condition.

Us human beings are wired for emotion and connection. For actors, their career gives them a way to safely process and explore their personal wounds through the characters they play. For Richard in particular, his mars is conjunct his North Node. So, his mars and North Node are sextile his Chiron and MC.

Remember, Aries (the sign of Richard's Chiron and MC) is ruled by mars. Mars is the warrior planet, like Aries is the warrior sign. This means that Richard's spiritual journey/life's purpose (North Node) deals directly with healing his soul wound so he can accept and embrace his inner confidence and willpower. This explains why he ends up playing a lot of ultra-masculine characters – mars/Aries are the most macho of them all.

This isn't to say I think Richard should change who he is! I wouldn't be interested in him if he was ultra-masculine or macho. However, for his own sake, I would be overjoyed to see him gain more self-esteem and inner confidence.

Extrapolating from my own personal experiences, the constant criticism and judgement I received during my adolescence from my peers and various authority figures (like family members and teachers) for being unconventional and 'over the top' caused me to turn on myself and repress my passion and will-power for several years. I think it's highly likely that Richard experienced this too.

Here are some quotes from Richard that illustrate everything I've been talking about (emphasis is mine):

Armitage is still notably handsome, but, within minutes of meeting him, it’s apparent how incongruous it is that this bookish, sensitive, self-described ‘melancholic, philosophically-minded softie’ and ardent fan of The Great British Bake Off was cast as beefcake killer totty for a considerable part of his career. ‘It’s ridiculous. It’s the complete opposite to who I am. I’m such a pacifist,’ he laughs. ‘But then, part of me always felt: “Well, isn’t that why we’re actors?”

[cut]

'I think the turning point was losing my mum,” he says. “Up until that point, I felt like I mustn’t put a foot wrong, that if I said the wrong thing or revealed too much about my personal life, it could all come crashing down, and it would come down on my parents, and they wouldn’t be proud of me anymore.” He shrugs. “Now that I’m past that I’m actually much more carefree about the choices I make.” (source)

Richard Armitage puts his head in his hands and emits a noise that's somewhere between a sigh, a laugh and a groan. “Oh no! Why would you want to pin this up?” he says with a horrified whisper.

[cut]

Never has a man seemed more ill at ease with the heartthrob label. He squirms with embarrassment in his chair every time the subject comes up. He is grateful for the loyalty of his fans, he says, but worries that “there is this thing of, 'Is he just totty?' Because the industry will sometimes write you off as a serious actor if they think that. I have always been conscious of that and fought against it, because I don't really see myself like that at all.”

[cut]

This brings us back to Astrov, who looks so relentless towards the future that he can't see the truth in front of his eyes. “It's interesting that he's an outsider in the play. I've often felt like that myself in life. I'm quite a solitary person. I enjoy my time with me, and sometimes it's not necessarily healthy, because I can talk myself into quite a dark place.

I'm an optimist, but at the same time, there's a discipline in me that will attack me for not working hard enough, not achieving enough, not being good enough. You always think, 'I'll grow out of that. With success, those voices will disappear.' But they don't, they get louder. I suppose I'm learning a bit about myself through Astrov.” (source)

The answer in my humble opinion, (and believe me it is humble, to a point of taking 43 years to be shared) is actually something which applies to my work as an actor. … And back to acting, it’s taken me a long time to shake off the effects of bullying in school. That people were always laughing behind my back. I was always looking out of the corner of my eye. I now have incredible peripheral vision which is so useful, (as is Kinesthetic sense…Google it) but try being a brave, experimental, uninhibited actor with all of those hang ups. Wasn’t happening. (Human Condition essay)

So I kind of travelled on that line for a while, and I was bullied for it as well. The problem with me is that as soon as you try to push me down or say “you can’t do this” and “I don’t think you should do that”, I immediately push back. So I did – I’d decided really young that I was going to try to make a career out of it.

[cut]

Actually, there was something I wanted to add to what Shaun said, about inclusivity, is that um, no matter how – how much confidence you have or how, in my case, lack. Y’know, I always felt like a misfit, or an oddball, or that I didn’t belong. But I always – I always told myself that ‘you exist in the world, so therefore there’s a place for you in this industry’. I think anybody who feels like, “I can’t become an actor because…” – you exist. And, y’know, the job of filmmakers is to write about our life and society, and if you are a part of that, then there’s a place for you in the industry. (source)

I'm a bit of a brooder. I don't like confrontation, so I think I suppress things. When my temper does come out, it goes all the way – the kind of temper you can't apologize for. Yep, the chair getting thrown out of the window. Those emotions are scary, but hey, they come in useful when you're acting. (source)

Armitage is a noticeably calm presence but he talks with passion.

[cut]

In the past, he has described himself as a shy person. “Not any more,” he says forcefully. “I mean… if I’m very, very honest, I’m a big guy, I think I’m at times quite a frightening person.”

In what way?

“I think I’m quite uncompromising. I can’t bear bulls---. And in a way the shyness is me protecting other people from that. I can feel that there’s an intimidation that can happen if I own my full height, and speak at my full volume. So I’ve learned over the years to just tone it all down a bit.” (source)

I've become one of those actors who find it difficult to say no when things are offered. I think if I had come out of drama school and been an instant Hollywood superstar I would be taking long, leisurely holidays. But I always feel somehow it's going to be taken away from me so I work when I can. When you struggled with work as I did when I left drama school you make hay when the sun shines. There was a time when I thought, and my agent thought, it wasn't going to happen for me. We both sat down and I actually said I don't know if I can stay in this state. The interesting roles have only come since I got into my 30s. But I didn't know that was going to happen. I'm a bit of an all or nothing kind of guy. To be honest, I had no blind faith in myself. I don't think I could have stayed around as a jobbing actor. I would probably have quit. Who knows? I think I would have found that too frustrating. But at the moment when I thought I was going to quit, something happened and it all changed again. (source)

[talking about being cast in the Hobbit]

There was a little bit of guidance as to what they were looking for. I felt that I was too young for the character, too tall for that character, so I thought, you know, ‘I’ll just look at the scene they’ve written’. And then I realised the essence of the character that they were aiming for. So I went to meet Peter and Phillipa and we read some of the scenes. I think we spent an hour-and-a-half talking about the character and what their vision was, and I sort of explained who I thought he was, and that was it.

[cut]

Yeah, my first instinct, whenever that kind of thing happens, is to say, 'Well what's wrong with the part? Why did nobody else want it'? Which is kind of the story of my life really. When I get offered something, I'm like, 'Well there must be something wrong with it if they're offering it to me!'

[cut]

But you know, the thing is, you talk about all of this: ‘How did you get the role? And how did it feel when you got the role?’ And once all that’s died down you start to think, ‘I’ve actually got to go and play this now’. They’ve trusted me. Everyone’s happy, everyone’s celebrated, the phones have gone down and the deal’s been done. Now it’s over to me to make the role work. And that’s the scariest moment, because you do have that elation and then the work begins and you think, ‘How the hell am I going to do this?’ (source)

How was it for you taking on this beloved role, this character that has such a huge responsibilty on his back? Could you relate in some ways?

Richard Armitage: Yeah. There is always building within him this paranoia that he’s not a good enough leader, and that weighs him down. I have experienced that same feeling as an actor in this role. And I was aware of taking on the responsibility of that character, so there was something I could latch onto there, as one of the people who loved ‘The Hobbit’ book and had envisioned that character. It took me a while to be convinced that I could do it, it wasn’t until I saw some sketches, this one particular pencil sketch….there was something about this characters eyes and the way that his hands are crossed, I thought, “I think I can do this, I can pull this off.” (source)

Q: I wanted to ask you about what your Arkenstone is. For you personally.

A: Me personally?

Q: And I meant for this to be materialistic. What's the thing that you covet so much that it makes you mad that you don't have it?

A: Well, it's actually not material. It's not material, and it's – (laughs) You want a comedy answer, don't you? But it's respect. It's the thing that always eludes you, you know. You have to fight for it and when you get it, your arkenstone, the thing that crowns you, is respect.

Q: And also a sweater.

A: And a sweater. I do have this little natty number.

Q: It's a good one man.

A: Tom Ford made this personally. But hey, he can have it back. I don't covet wealth and material. (source)

Q6: You’ve done a variety of different roles, I wonder what influences you to pursue those roles?

R: More often than not, you go where you’re wanted. So getting hired is still kind of a revelation to me, a shock and a surprise. Sometimes you have very flat periods, where I don’t really care what comes next, I just want to work on something. I feel like I’ve got a little cloud of luck over my head so the right thing always seems to come along. But again, I’m easily excited about literature and stories, so I’ve always said I don’t really pursue glory, I’d happily do acting for two people in my living room if it was a role that I really enjoyed with a story I’d really like to tell. So it’s chance, I would say.

[cut]

Q8: Once in an interview about Thorin, you were asked what your arkenstone was and your answer was respect. I like this answer a lot. So I was wondering what’s your red dragon? As you said yesterday he’s a character who sheds his skin, improves, and becomes something. I was wondering if there was something you’d like to improve, become?

R: I guess the antithesis of that is disrespect. Do you mean in myself?

Q8: Yes.

R: Yeah I try not to be too disrespectful. I guess I value the truth. I think we’re living at a time at the moment where the truth is warped and there’s a word that’s been in my head for a long time, and particularly recently it’s come to the surface. When I was studying Macbeth, at the RSC, I read a long thesis about the gunpowder plot, which was one of the things they thought that Shakespeare (or whoever Shakespeare was) was stimulated by to write Macbeth. And the word equivocation was used in this thesis, it was actually about equivocation and what equivocation is. And if you look it up in the dictionary, at the moment most politicians are equivocating. When you don’t answer a question, or you bend the truth to make it seem like you are answering the question, and in fact you’re telling a lie. So I would say my red dragon would be equivocation.

[cut]

Then there was the physical form that I was studying and observing, but also, I do sometimes enjoy locking myself away in a room and reading a book or just doing something alone, and you sometimes can go a couple of days without speaking to anybody. I don’t know whether anyone else experiences this or whether I’m just a weirdo. But I find that when that happens my voice changes, and I always forget how to make a noise, I have to do a warm-up before I go into the world and start speaking again.

[cut]

Q15: I was wondering if you ever had to pull out of a project because it felt wrong or something, and what is the point where you say “nope I can’t do this”?

R: Um, no. But that’s partly to do with the fact that I have a lot of loyalty, probably too much loyalty for my own good, really, and there’ve been moment when I’ve been on board a project, and actually it happened this year with The Lodge, I was already on board that project and something else came along which was bigger and better and brighter and more money, and your agent says “look we can pull you out of The Lodge, they can probably recast it,” and here I think “I’ve already started this process, I don’t want to let people down,” and I don’t have a problem with that at all, I never have any regrets over the things that you miss or the things that you decide not to do, I think there’s a strong enough reason why you’ve decided not to do it, but in general no I haven’t ever pulled out of something. There was one television show I remember, I’m not going to say what it is, but after the first readthrough, I did call my agent and asked, “can I get out of this?” And then he quickly got back to me and said, “don’t do it. Don’t build a reputation built on disloyalty.” So I try not to.

[cut]

Q18: I think you are very handsome, but your character Francis hated the way he looked, how did that make you feel?

R: Francis hated the way he looked? Yeah. I guess there is something we relate to in that. Without getting too personal, I don’t always enjoy looking at myself in the mirror. I don’t do it very often, to be honest. I do it just to be sure I don’t have food on my face. I do it in character, actually. I do spend a bit of time studying my own face when I’m playing a character, which is interesting because your face does change. (source)

He cannot see the handsomeness: “I think I am odd-looking. I have big lines on my forehead.” I squint, looking for them, but he is talking over me, sounding slightly panicked. “I shouldn’t draw attention to it, because then everyone else will see the oddness.”

[cut]

Laziness is what makes him angry: “Laziness in myself. Laziness in other people. And dishonesty. All things I feel capable of myself. I have a propensity to be lazy and lie about it. Fear makes me rageful. There are words in The Crucible I actually find it quite hard to say.” I beg for an example — The Crucible is in the public domain. “No,” he says, “you’ll see it in the play.” I tell him it will make no sense in print if he will not tell me. But he won’t. So I change the subject. It works. “OK, I will give you a line.” He inflates a little and says: “Is there no good penitence but it be public?” And then: “Were I stone I would have cracked for shame this seven month.” (source)

Q: How would you describe your evolution as an actor since you started?

A: I think everything has to do with the fact that today I’m not afraid anymore. At first, I was embarrassed to do something wrong or do things badly or make myself ridiculous. Today, I am almost looking for opportunities to be ridiculous or vulnerable or to make as much of a mistake as possible. In a sense, it’s now the opposite of being undercover.

Q: Are you the actor you dreamed of being when you started?

A: Not yet. I am not yet fearless enough. It’s in waves, actually. But I have already approached this dream. There were moments, especially during Arthur Miller’s The Crucible, which I performed on stage, where I felt I had no control over things. That’s what I’m looking for: to lose control.

Q: You often play bad guys. What do you like in these characters?

A: I like disobedience. I like the fact that you can be disobedient thanks to your creativity. As a person, I must always be polite in life, be careful and correct so as not to hurt anyone. In a fantasy world, I can be as offensive as I want. It’s an outlet. (Laughter)

[cut]

Q: Many actors are moving to directing. Is this also your goal?

A: I would like to, but I do not think I’m smart enough. I am good when it comes to working with another’s vision. I do not think I have that creative spontaneity that creates a vision from scratch. But the future will tell. (source)

I applaud Richard for being so open and direct about his fears and insecurities. It takes a lot of bravery to do so. And while I've seen some fans get annoyed with his continual self-deprecation, I think his honesty and openness is much more significant, and shows his inner strength. He doesn't try to pretend to be someone he's not.

He recently described himself as “patient, obsessive, and silly” (source). The patient part is classic Virgo, and the obsessive part comes from an element of his natal chart that I have not mentioned.

The silly part, however, is classic Leo. Like I said above, he has an almost equal amount of Leo and Virgo in his personality. Personally, I'm proud to be a Leo, but I also know we get misunderstood a lot of the time. I wrote the following for an essay of mine on Leos in Disney:

Your sun sign represents your core identity. Just like the physical sun is the center of the solar system and its energy creates life, the astrological sun is our consciousness and life force. Each of the twelve sun signs are ruled by a different planet and element.

Since Leo is the fixed fire sign, we don't inherit the reckless and impulsive nature of fire, but instead are a steady flame. No sign is more reckless and impulsive than Aries, because they have the double combination of being a cardinal sign and a fire sign. Meanwhile, all four of the fixed signs struggle with stubbornness and admitting when their wrong.

Leo's are well known to be natural leaders and the rulers of the zodiac. We are ruled by the sun and our animal is the lion. We dream big and are born with big personalities, and we can't help but be theatrical and dramatic. This means we are always self-centered in the sense of being strong-willed and having a strong sense of self. It does not mean all Leos are egotistical.

Unhealthy Leo traits all revolve around the ego: attention-seeking, egotistical, selfish, bossy, controlling, pushy, jealous, possessive, lazy, vain, arrogant, aggressive, and obstinate.

Healthy Leos, however, are known for our fire-based traits – being animated, theatrical, happy, outgoing, independent, competitive, charismatic, creative, open-minded, open-hearted, confident, assertive, playful, warm, social, courageous, idealistic, affectionate, romantic, optimistic, and adventurous.

What isn't often talked about is our steadiness, our fixed-based traits. Leos are authentic, steadfast, fiercely loyal and protective, consistent, persistent, full-hearted, dedicated, need to do their best, generous and selfless, honorable and moral, genuine and direct, extremely supportive, hard-working and responsible, dignified, strong-willed, and ambitious and determined.

Something that is often mentioned but highly misunderstood is our trait of courage. Having courage doesn't mean you're fearless or reckless. The definition of courage is “the power or quality of dealing with or facing danger, fear, pain, etc.” It means that instead of running away from our problems or denying our emotions; healthy Leos face them and be genuine and direct with ourselves, embracing our vulnerability.

Having a big personality doesn't necessarily mean someone has a big ego. C.S. Lewis once said, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less.” Leos have huge hearts and are incredibly generous. The sun never goes retrograde, always shines, and gives life and energy to all living beings – it isn't selective or discriminatory. Healthy Leos are like mini suns; which is why we are also irrepressibly upbeat, optimistic, and fun-loving.

We're not pushovers. We are like roses – we have both flower petals and thorns. If you mess with someone we love you're going down. We're too loyal and protective to let major things slide; and even if we forgive, we never forget. Little things? We'll try to work them out with you.

Being naturally strong-willed and assertive is healthy – it just means we usually make horrible subordinates and yes people. There's nothing wrong with having high standards and being open about them. In fact, in relationships it's far better in the long run to open and frank about what you need and what you consider a dealbreaker from the beginning.

And oh yes are we ambitious and competitive – but most often with ourselves. We're natural leaders who always dream and think big. For a healthy Leo it's not about being the best, but doing your best. We have to be grand and intense, we're ruled by the sun. It's all or nothing for us. Settling is not something a Leo does. We need to be the best leader, the best friend, the best partner, etc. that we possibly can.

Also, in astrology each sign rules a different body part, and Leo rules the heart and upper back.

Adding to this, Leos are known as the Kings/Queens of the zodiac not because we're egotistical, but because our sun sign is the sun. It's like a double amount sun. I could go into significantly more detail about this, but it involves a lot of technical astrological details; so if anyone wants to know more just message me!

Going back to Richard, having his core self (sun) and love/beauty (venus) in Leo explains why he is an actor and artist; and why he is often warm, silly, and dramatic when he feels comfortable – his long interview with The Anglophile Channel (and it's deleted scenes) does a great job of showing the synergy between his Leo and Virgo sides.

We see Richard express the heartfelt, generous, sincere, and honorable side of Leo all the time. This is why I'm sure he has the inner-confidence and strength hidden within him to overcome the deep pain his Chiron causes him (like it does to us all). I hope he continues to find projects and people that help him on his journey to heal.

Thank you for reading this, I'm wishing him and you all the best. Take care!

#Richard #Richard Armitage #Astrology #Mine

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karlajoyner · 4 years

Note

first of all: i absolute LOVE your write

also....can you write an enemies to lovers smut with reggie or jeremy (what you feel more comfortable with), and if you have a taglist for jatp could you add me?

(english isn't my first language, sorry if there's something wrong!)

Why Wait? (Jeremy Shada x Reader)

A/N: So I got two requests a Jeremy one and a Reggie or Jeremy enemy to lover one so I put them in one. I have a enemy to lover one coming out about Charlie. It’s a smut and gets well aggressive so make sure not to read it if it makes you uncomfortable! It was as well per someone's request so I hope you guys enjoy!

Requested by: @epikskool (Tumblr)

@agotzmann (Wattpad)

Warnings: None

(P.S I do not do smut for Jeremy, Madison, Jadah, Booboo, and or Sacha! Only for their characters!)

————

I sighed getting out my car unprepared for tonight's events. My best friend Savannah invited me to a game night with some of her co-stars from her new show on Netflix. They were nice people I visited on set a couple times when they were shooting in LA and got along pretty well with most of them. Well all except one. Jeremy. Jeremy Shada.

Flashback

I frustratedly walked towards Savannah's set beyond pissed. I was visiting my best friend on set today when I anonymously received photos from an unknown number. After 2 hours of sitting in her trailer I had just confirmed that my now ex boyfriend had been cheating on me and to make it worse it was with someone who I though was my friend. I finally reached the location she was filming at watching as she spoke to the director who was probably giving her instruction. She threw a glance at me realization hitting her what we had suspected since I got the pictures was true. I stood back as she said something to the director before making her way towards me.

"Did you talk to him?" She asked.

"Yeah. He admitted it to me. He straight up told me he cheated on me" I said on the verge of tears.

"He's such an asshole" She whispered pulling me into a hug.

“I know. I just don't know what I'm gonna do Savannah. I live with the man for fucks sake" I sobbed pulling away.

"Well for starters your moving in with me"

"I can't do that Sav, our lease isn't up for another 2 months"

"Your not staying with that jerk for 2 months y/n. Over my dead body am I gonna let my best friend stay in the same apartment with such a pig" She said getting ticked off. I sighed knowing there was no point in trying to argue right now when I was filled with too many emotions to count. I simply nodded fidgeting with my fingers.

"Go wait for me in my trailer. I almost done with this scene then I'm done for the day. After that we can go pick up some clothes then head over to mine for a breakup ritual"

"You really think that'll fix this?" I asked letting another tear slip out.

"No but it'll sure help. We'll order takeout, paint our nails, and have a high school musical marathon"

"Your just saying that because you can't wait to drool over Zac”

"Well yeah but your gonna be doing the same"

"Fair enough" I said smiling at the girl.

"See you in a bit k?"

"Okay" I smiled walking away.

I was walking back the route I came from when I received a message.

"You know we don't have to stop it here if don't want to😏" I read aloud making anger boil in me. He's such a fucking Asshole.

I groaned in frustration suddenly feeling myself collide with something hard.

“What the fuck!?" I cried holding my forehead. I looked up realizing I had just collided with an opening door.

"Oh my god are you okay?"

"Do I look okay? Are you fucking serious?"

"Look I'm sorry but you don't have to be such a dick about it" The person spoke. I finally looked up seeing a guy around my age who looked awfully familiar but I couldn't place my finger on it.

"I'm the dick? You hit me with a fucking door"

"Look I said I'm sorry" He said sticking out a hand to help me up. I was so fed up with men today. I scoffed standing up on my own.

"I don't need your help. Just watch where your going next time"

"It's not my fault. I didn't know anyone was gonna be passing by"

"So it's my fault I just got knocked to the ground by an opening door?" I shouted holding the part of my head that was now throbbing.

"W-well n-"

"You know what save it! I'm tired of men today I'm tired of everyone" I said passing by the dark haired guy bumping his shoulder in anger. That guy ended up being Jeremy Shada. Savannah's cast mate. And now my worst enemy.

“I brought lasagna” I announced to the group of people who were in the living room. Specifically Charlie, Savannah, Sacha, Owen, Jadah, Tori of course, and unfortunately enough Jeremy.

“Yes!” Sacha shouted with excitement. I giggled putting down the dish in the kitchen going over to greet everyone.

“Hey Charles!”

“How you doin?” He smirked making me laugh.

“I’m doin good baby. How you doin?” I played along. Recreated one of my favorite scenes from friends.

“This is why I love you! You get me!” He shouted pulling me in for a hug.

“Hey Owen. Sacha” I greeted the two boys with a hug.

“Y/n! We missed you the last couple weeks on set”

“Owen you were shooting in Vancouver”

“I know we just really missed you. Savannah was no fun”

“I was fun!” The girl shouted form the kitchen.

“What he means is we missed our biggest cheerleader” Tori corrected.

“I am great aren’t I?” I jokingly flipped my hair on my shoulder earning laughs from around the room.

“I beg to differ” Jeremy’s voice spoke making me roll my eyes.

“Seriously? I just got here and your gonna start?” I asked looking at him.

“Hey! Guys! It’s game night let’s chill out tonight” Charlie tried to reason shuffling the uno cards in his hand.

It wasn’t the first time he or any of the other cast tried to talk me and Jeremy down but sometimes his side comments got to me so much that I’d burst. God I hated his luscious dark hair. And his snarky little smirk. And his beautiful brown eyes. And his adorable dimples.

“Charlie’s right” I spoke calming down.

“It’s game night. I’m with my friends and nothings gonna ruin that. Even you Shada”

“It was ruined the moment you stepped in”

“Man chill out” Owen said placing a hand on Jeremys shoulder. I watched as the two small talked on the side before turning my attention back to the rest of group.

Internally groaning I took a seat in between Jadah and Savannah who had finally made it back to the living room.

“Glad to see your lasagna didn’t come out burnt” Savannah said making me let out a giggle. Referring to the first time I tried baking lasagna.

“Sav that was one time and it was an accident”

“I can think of other things that were an accident” Jeremy said my eyes going wide. Gasps filling the room.

“Dude yo chill out”

“That’s low even for you Jeremy” I said standing up and making my way down the familiar hallway. I reach a room I recognized as Toris. Locking myself in. I began to cry sitting down on her bed in the center of the room.

That was it. Those were the words that finally triggered me.

Flashback

“Your a drunk! Can’t even take care of your own daughter!” “She was a fucking accident!” “You don’t mean that daddy” I cried holding my chest to my knees. Drowning out the voices of my parents fighting. Wanting anything. Anything to happen that would get me out of this house. But nothing did.

My thoughts were cut off by a sudden knock on the door.

“Who is it?” I questioned wiping the stray tears that had escaped.

“It’s me”

“Who’s me?” I asked sniffling.

“Jeremy”

“Go away you fucking prick”

“Can we talk? Please” He pleaded confusion hitting me. Why would he want to talk to me? Why now?

I made my way toward the door slowly unlocking it.

“What do you want?” I asked moving back onto the bed.

“I wanna apologize. Savannah told me about your parents. She also said if I didn’t cool it she’d have my head” He said moving slowly to sit beside me on the bed.

“Yeah. She’s a sweet girl but she’ll have your head in seconds” I tried to joke only to have more tears fall down my face.

“Look I’m really sorry for acting like such a jerk”

“A dick” I corrected him earning a chuckle from the guy.

“A dick. I’m really sorry”

“For the sake of our friends outside. I guess I’m sorry too. Sav always talks about how much of a great guy you are but I never actually got to know you. I honestly I don’t know why I always went out my way to attack you”

“I do” He spoke. My head cocking to the side in confusion.

“I mean I know why I always acted like that”

“And why is that?”

“Maybe it was to conceal the big fat crush I had on you since the moment I laid eyes on you”

“What?” I questioned looking him in the eyes.

“Don’t make me say it again. Look I’ve acted like such an ass especially lately. But every time I see you I just remember the first time we met. How beautiful you were. But then we interacted. And now I realize how terrible I really was. Then the way you reacted didn’t help the situation. I mean it looked like you weren’t having the best day and I made it worse. And guilt has been eating away at me ever since but I could never bring myself to apologize because of my stupid pride”

“Your pride is pretty stupid. But your face makes up for it” I spoke with a nervous smile.

“Was that a compliment?” He teased.

“So what if it was? What are you gonna do about it Shada?”

“Well for starters.....I’m gonna take you on a date. A proper date. Maybe to the beach. We could have a picnic. Make a day out of it. The I’ll drive you back to yours and Savannah’s. We’ll walk hand and had up to your door. We’ll make casual small talk about how great it was. Then I’ll say we should do this again sometime and you’ll agree of course. Then I’ll lean in at the last second and....kiss you”

He said our bodies seemingly to have gotten closer within the period he had begun talking to now.

“Why wait?” I whispered finally looking straight at him to see him already looking at me.

We gazed into each other’s eyes until our lips met in the middle. The kiss was short but sweet. We finally pulled away looking down I watched as he intertwined our fingers. Smiles plastered on both of our faces

This was it. No more backhanded comments. No more glaring at each other from across the room. No more uncomfortable tension in the air.

It was me and Jeremy.

————

Up Next: Charlie Gillespie x Reader (Smut)

Owen Patrick Joyner x Reader

Sacha Carlson x Reader

#alex jatp #charlie gillespie #flynn jatp #jeremy shada #julie and the phantoms #julie molina #luke jatp #madison reyes #owen patrick joyner #reggie jatp #jadah marie #luke patterson x reader #reggie x reader #alex x reader #sunset curve #owen joyner

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365days365movies · 3 years

Text

March, 6, 2021: Wolfwalkers (2020) (Part One)

I love Cartoon Saloon so goddamn much.

Before I’d seen a single Ghibli film, I was a big fan of the Irish film studio because of their first film, The Secret of Kells. They’d also done a few TV series in the years prior (I’ve heard of Skunk Fu!, and have no interest in seeing it), and still make a few to this day, but the first time I’d heard of them was with Kells, a delightful movie that borrowed from both Irish history and folklore in their telling of the making of a famous illustrated version of the Bible, and a young boy’s friendship with a mysterious forest spirit.

And yeah, that movie is great, but I didn’t have much to go off of then. And then, 5 years later, they released their second film. And that one fucking BROKE me.

Song of the Sea is the second in what would become director Tomm Moore’s trilogy of movies based on Irish folklore, and was a bit more contemporary as compared to Kells. That one’s about a boy and his mute sister, whom he blames for the death of his mother. However, his mother is not dead, but is a selkie, a mythical Irish mermaid that becomes a seal when donning a magical coat. And it turns out that his sister is one as well!

And you think, “aww, look at the seals, they’re drawn so cute” FUCK ME IT’S BEAUTIFUL AND HEARTBREAKING. It takes a lot from Irish mythology, from giants to owl-women, and it’s a fantastic fuckin’ movie. And then, three years later...Tomm Moore’s directing partner stepped up.

See, while Moore was developing Song of the Sea, his partner from Kells, Nora Twomey, stepped in with her own solo project: The Breadwinner. We leave Ireland this time for a book adaptation based in Afghanistan in the 1990s, where a young girl is forced to pretend to be a boy in order to provide for her family (which was apparently a common practice). A LOT happens in this one, and it’s goddamn fantastic as well! It lost to Coco for Best Animated Feature at the Oscars, and...yeah, that’s fair. It’s hard to beat Coco.

But wow, a 2-D animated feature-based company! WHICH IS FANTASTIC! Seriously, in a landscape with fewer and fewer 2-D films in theaters, I’m overjoyed to see these guys hanging in there with some fantastic films! And just when I’d neared desperation for a new Cartoon Saloon feature...here comes Moore.

Ohhhhhh, let’s fucking GO! The last entry of the Irish Folklore Trilogy, today’s entry is Wolfwalkers, a film that was exclusively released to Apple TV, which I got SPECIFICALLY for this movie. It’s $5, I can afford it.

But I am absolutely pumped for this one. It’s based off of the legend of the Werewolves of Ossory, a kingdom in medieval Ireland in which there was a legendary tribe of people with the ability to turn into wolves to hunt in the forest. It’s also based upon the Irish wolf, a population of grey wolves (Canis lupus) on the island that were sadly extirpated in 1976. People, man. People.

But OK, let’s get this baby STARTED! Been wanting to watch this one since I heard about it, and I’m excited! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

Kilkenny, Ireland, in the Year of Our Lord 1650! A group of loggers are working in the gorgeous and atmospheric Irish forest, when they’re accosted by a pack of...honestly very cool looking and well-designed wolves. One of them is caught by the pack and scratched up, then they all retreat.

A large mysterious woman with big red hair and her young daughter stop the wolves from hurting the man further, and also heal up his scratches. He thanks them, and they flee with the wolf pack as the angry townsfolk chase after them.

Wolves are the enemy of the townsfolk, and those townsfolk include the newly-arrived Bill Goodfellowe (Sean Bean) and his daughter, Robyn (Honor Kneafsey), who’ve just moved from England. Bill is a hunter, and his daughter is eager to help him in his endeavors, armed with a crossbow and her falcon, Merlyn.

Bill is on the way to hunt wolves, as assigned by the Lord Protector of England. Robyn badly wants to join him, but it’s dangerous out there, and the Lord Protector forbids children beyond the walls of Kilkenny. Robyn wants out, though, as she’s an English outsider in the Irish village, and this is at a point where their relationship was at an all-time low.

Robyn, clever girl that she is, finds a way to use a group of bullies to distract the men guarding the gates, and sneaks out to the forest with Merlin. As she follows her father (currently unbeknownst to him), she hears a cry warning of a wolf. Robyn runs off to investigate.

A group of shepherds are being accosted by a pack of wolves. Robyn tries to shoot one of them, but the panicking sheep knock into her, and she fires her arrow at...Merlyn. Fuck! I already liked him! The commotion grows...until a distinctly human howl is heard from the forest, stopping the wolves in their tracks. Robyn looks over at the downed Merlyn.

The little girl takes Merlyn away, and retreats back into the woods. The wolves block Robyn’s path, and as they’re about to attack her, Bill arrives, and shoots one of them with his crossbow. The human howl is heard again, and the wolves retreat, one of them injured. Bill chides Robyn for going into the woods, and she tries to go back to get Merlyn. But Bill promised her mother that she’d keep her safe...which means that she’s almost certainly dead. Well, damn.

They leave the woods, only to be berated by the logger from the beginning, Seán Óg (Tommy Tiernan). He tells Bill off, as the increased logging under the Lord Protectorate has angered the wolves and the people who live with them, whom he refers to as “Wolfwalkers”. But Bill insists that the Lord Protectorate wants the woods cleared, and the wolves exterminated. Seán badmouths the Lord, and of course, who would show up but...

The Lord Protectorate is...oh dear FUCK, it’s Oliver Cromwell (Simon McBurney). Cromwell was a NOTORIOUS asshole for a lot of reasons, and he plays a big role in Ireland’s subjugation by England in the 1650s. I’m in no way educated enough to comment in detail on that, but like I said earlier: it’s a rough time in Irish history, and Oliver Cromwell, cruel, paranoid, but technically historically important douchebag that he was, was right at the center of it all.

Fun fact, Cromwell actually overthrew the Monarchy shortly after this, during the English Civil War, and became the ruler of the Commonwealth of England. After his 1658 death, his son took over, until he was overthrown by the return of the Monarchy, via King Charles II about 3 years later. And he was SO FUCKING PISSED at the whole affair, that they had Cromwell’s corpse dug up from Westminster Abbey (where kings and queens and Charles Darwin are buried), beheaded, and stuck on a pike on Westminster Hall! Damn.

Anyway, this Oliver Cromwell is just about to overthrow the Monarchy, and he wants Ireland under his heel. He’s commanded the woods to be cut down in order for farms to be established, and Goodfellowe is assigned to exterminate the wolves completely so that that will happen. Upon seeing Robyn, he commands the guards to take her to the scullery, where she’ll probably be trained as a scullery maid. Yay, child labor!

Seán, having just seen the girl with the wolves, tells Robyn who she is. He tells her that the Wolfwalkers can talk to wolves, and will also heal the injured with wild magic. To go back into the woods, she unlocks the cage that Seán Óg was thrown in for insulting Cromwell. His sheep are also in there, and the release of Seán and the sheep causes enough of a distraction for Robyn to flee into the woods.

Once there, she quickly finds Merlyn, who has indeed been healed by wild magic . Once there, a red wolf approaches her. Robyn readies her crossbow, but Merlyn prevents her from firing, and she gets caught in a snare as a result. During a struggle, the two clash, and the wolf bites Robyn.

She falls out of the snare, but also sees a new kind of vision, seeing the wolf as the girl from earlier in a beautifully animated type of vision. Her arm swirls with golden magic as well, emanating from the bite. Merlyn follows the wolf as they run away, and Robyn’s pursuit of the two leads her into a beautiful hidden grove, with a massive waterfall. Behind it is a cave, covered in drawings of humans and wolves. And that’s not all that’s in the cave.

At the center of the cave is the girl and her mother, sleeping and now surrounded by the wolves. The red wolf becomes yellow energy, and the energy goes into the little girl, who wakes up. Robyn is immediately found out, and the young girl approaches with the wolves at her back.

This is Mebh (pronounced “Maeve”) Óg MacTíre (Eva Whittaker), and I’ve IMMEDIATELY taken a liking to her, from her voice to her character design to her personality. Robyn doesn’t feel the same way, as the two clash. Mebh bit Robyn, but she was actually trying to get her out of the snare. The man are getting to close to the woods, which Mebh isn’t happy about, but Robyn says it’s “their” woods. Here we go.

Mebh uses her wild magic to fix the wound, before it’s too late. I get the feeling that it’s too late. Robyn tries to find out more, including who her mother is, but Mebh chases her off with her wolf pack in tow. And before I get to mention it, I just want to say that this is my favorite design for cartoon wolves. Real talk, I love this good bois. In the process of the chase, though, she’s again caught in a snare, which Mebh frees her from.

But as the two banter again, Mebh senses a “townie” like Robyn in the woods. It’s Bill, and Robyn goes to prevent the wolves from hurting her father. After a close call, Mebh points Robin back in the direction of the town, and blindfolds her to prevent truly discovering the location of the cave...this time. She guides Robyn back, but runs off when she smells food.

Robyn and Merlyn make their way back, and we overhear two shepherds from earlier talking about how one could turn into a wolf if bitten by a Wolfwalker. So, yeah, werewolf rules. Makes sense, given this story’s basis. The two shepherds also have Robyn’s crossbow and fresh bread. Mebh and Robyn work together to steal the food and crossbow, and run away together. Fast friends!

The two young girls bond, and share their struggles. Robyn wishes to go back to their simpler life in England, and wants to spend more time with her father, potentially in the woods. She warns Mebh that the forest is about to be cut down, endangering her and her pack. Mebh notes that her mother went to look for a new place for the pack to live, but hasn’t come back since. Robyn promises to tell her father about the Wolfwalkers and the struggles of the wolves. The two new friends part ways, promising to meet each other in the woods.

When she comes back home, Robyn prepares to tell her father her plan to get the wolves to leave without killing any of them. The preparation is entertaining, as she does a pretend back-and-forth with herself and her dad. Once he gets home, the reality is less great. When he finds out that Robyn never even went to the scullery, he doesn’t listen to her plan at all. He sends her to bed, and the plan is dead before it’s even proposed. Still, Robin promises Merlyn that they’ll find a way to help the wolves.

But that may be...harder than you’d think. As she sleeps, the golden magic comes back, and Robyn sees a wolf in her dreams. Pretty sure of where this is going. She wakes up with a start, and Bill hears this. He gets her up and takes her to the scullery, where she’s put to work.

Y’know, I’ve heard the term “scullery maid”, I’ve never once thought of what the term means. Apparently, it’s a kitchen or backroom in a house for housework, but where the hell is this? Is it, like, the town hall scullery? Not really clear, and it’s made more confusing when Robyn finds her way into a red-carpeted room with animal heads on the walls.

While there, her bite-mark glows, and a whisper of “giiiiiiiiirl” comes from a covered cage towards the front of the room. She approaches the cage, but is interrupted from checking it out by the head scullery maid. The Lord Protectorate has forbidden anyone from entering that room, and Imma call it now: that’s Mebh’s mom. I mean, yeah, no duh, but still. Calling it now.

That night, while asleep, the Wolfwalker’s magic officially takes hold, and Robyn wakes up as a wolf in her bedroom, while her human body sleeps. Her father hears the commotion in Robyn’s loft, and is about to literally kill her wolf-self, but she jumps out of a window and flees the city for the woods.

She quickly finds Mebh, who’s also panicking, as she thought she cured the bite. However, that panic subsides pretty quickly, as Mebh has never met another Wolfwalker before, and is excited to show Robyn how to be a wolf. And through Robyn’s eyes, we get a lovely view of the world through a wolf’s senses, backed by Aurora’s “Running with the Wolves”. And it’s...it’s lovely.

youtube

Its also QUITE a good half-way point, so let’s put that right here! See you in Part 2!

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twdmusicboxmystery · 3 years

Text

More Spoilers!

All right. I have lots to talk about and probably won’t be able to get it all into this post. But everything I’m going to say here is about spoilers for episodes 10x17 and 10x18. As always, let’s remember that we always have to take spoilers with a grain of salt because, while they’re probably mostly true, some of the details might not be.

***So if you don’t want to read spoilers, stop reading now! You’ve been warned!***

Yup! This is true. Check it out below:

Okay, let’s unpack this. First of all, we’ve been told Beth would be mentioned, but not by name. I’m seeing two different places from the above spoilers where she’s mentioned, but not by name. First, Daryl’s “some people are just gone” line. Yes, he’s talking about looking for Connie. But she’s been a Beth proxy since she showed up. And of course the “just gone” line is a direct callback to what Daryl said to Rick back in 4x16, which WAS directly about Beth.

It also occurred to me more recently how interesting it is that that conversation (in 4x16) happened between Daryl and Rick, rather than Daryl and Maggie or Michonne or anyone else. I mean, many seasons later, Rick was “just gone” too and we believe he and Beth are in (mostly) the same place now. So it was a foreshadowing. Annnnnddd once again we KNOW Rick is alive.

Searching for people has been a theme for Daryl since Sophia in S2, so from a symbolic standpoint, this “just gone” line is freaking huge!

Second, there’s Maggie and Kelly’s convo where Kelly asks if Maggie is a big sister. I’m kind of thinking this is the reference that first reviewer referred to. It doesn’t sound like they mention Beth by name, but it’s definitely a reference to Maggie’s younger sister.

But then we get this bit about Daryl and Maggie’s convo. We have two different references to Beth there. First, Maggie telling Hershel, Jr stories about her (and Hershel and the rest of the family).

And then Maggie saying that after Beth’s death, she and Glenn talked about going to the ocean.

Now, let me put a disclaimer here that it’s possible neither of these references will actually use Beth’s name in the episode. It’s possible the reviewers/spoilers just wrote it up this way for ease of explanation.

But even if they don’t actually say her name, these references sound really specific. It mentions stories about Shawn, Beth and Hershel. Why not just say “my family.” There must have been something particular (a name or something else) that made the reviewer mention these names. And as for the “after Beth’s death” thing (I’d be surprised if she actually uses the word “death” but that remains to be seen), what else is Maggie going to say? After we left Atlanta? After Grady? No matter what it is, it’s still a reference to Coda and what happened to Beth.

So guys, we have not one but FOUR different references to Beth in one episode.

Third, it strikes me how MANY sister references we have. Obviously the ones about Beth I covered above. Then there’s Connie and Kelly, and even Elijah who apparently lost a sister. So....what? Now EVERY character has lost a sister and everyone decides to mention it in the same episode? Come on! No way this is accidental.

And, I’ve said this before but it bears repeating. Because these are bonus episodes and somewhat outside the usual structure, we need to view them as their own season or at least their own half season. (Even though there are six instead of eight, we should view this as it’s own half-season arc. Many people are referring to them as 10C, which I think is fitting.)

And the end ALWAYS mirrors the beginning. 4x01 they mention Macon. 4x16, the group goes to Macon (where Terminus was located). 6x09, Daryl blows up the Saviors on the road. 6x16, Negan/Saviors symbolically blow up TF (by killing Glenn and Abraham). You get the idea. We have so many mentions of sisters and people Daryl has searched for here, I really think there’s a good chance we’ll see Beth in 10x22. (Which airs on Easter, btw.)

Finally, there are all ocean references. We know Beth = Water, and we’ve always seen her symbolism around Oceanside and water/ocean locales and other references. So again, this is pretty huge!

Not to mention, this Maggie/Daryl Convo definitely seems like a callback to their 5x10 convo about Beth in the barn.

Here are more spoilers from this episode:

I’m not gonna say much about the Reapers right now. I’m excited to meet these new baddies (I’m always intrigued to learn who the next villains will be). But what catches my attention here are the stars and talk about how “she’s out there, under the same sky.” References to stars, and missing family members who are out there somewhere, alive.

So yeah. These are great. I could go into much more detail than this about the symbolism, but for now, I’m just posting spoilers. Best to watch the episode before going down more detailed rabbit holes, lol.

But didn’t we tell you there would be TONS of great symbolism for us to dissect?

The only other thing I’m going to address today are the pictures of Daryl and Leah laying on top of a refrigerator. Yeah, really not kidding.

Exactly, Nonny. It’s definitely a choice. I mean, obviously there’s some kind of board across the top so they don’t fall in. But who opens a refrigerator of the woods and decides it’s a comfortable place to lie down in the middle of the day? So weird.

@wdway also pointed out that this is out of character for Daryl (just as with all things Leah) because he doesn’t seem to have his crossbow or any weapon within easy reach, and it’s not like him to let his guard down that far.

So, it’s a weird picture and a weird scene, for sure.

But do you all remember @frangipanilove‘s Cooler Symbolism posts? The refrigerator (anything with water running through it, actually, so coolers, air conditioners, etc) are Beth symbols.

So I know no one likes to see this picture, because it’s Daryl and Leah, but it’s just more proof to me that she’s a Beth proxy and/or will lead to Beth in some way.

And I know people will ask what they’re looking at. We don’t know. In the bts shot, it’s blank. Probably a map or something they’ll put in with the computer.

This isn’t actually uncommon, and I’m actually glad this is the case. See, we’ve noticed that in bts shots, there are other things that are also blank during filming. One of them is license plates. But that makes me happy because it’s shows we’re right to look at the license plates as clues. They aren’t just generic plates for whatever car is being used. They’re purposely and thoughtfully put in by the writers after the filming. Which means they’re symbolic clues.

And I think this map will be the same way. It probably won’t be that important in terms of the plot of the episode. Just something Daryl and Leah are scrutinizing. But I’m very curious to see what’s actually on it in the episode, as I bet it’ll be chalk full of Beth symbolism.

Of course, my fellow FB groupie fixed these pictures for us. This is the way they really SHOULD look.

Thanks Bella! 😊

Thoughts?

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl #bethyl forever #bethyl for life #bethyl reunion #beth x daryl #daryl x beth

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readyplayerhobi · 4 years

Text

Flower | 15

; Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Fluff, mentions of smut

; Word Count: 6.4k

; Warnings: Mentions of smut, mentions of body issues, mentions of anxiety

; Synopsis: You finally decide to take a dip into the world of online dating and find the Flower dating app. One of the top matches for you proves to be a guy who looks to be your complete opposite; tattooed, pierced, a metalhead and oh…incredibly handsome. What happens when you throw caution to the wind and reach out to him?

; A/N: Thank you for all your love on this so far :3 I appreciate it so much! Please reblog this if you like it and leave me a comment so I can see what you think! Or send me an ask, your love helps to keep me going <333

; Flower Masterpost

Shuffling the player booklets in your hands beneath the coffee table, you laugh as your two best friends squabble with each other over the film that you’d all watched earlier. Chungha had thought it was great whereas Soyeon had been bored within ten minutes. Not even the combination of the ridiculously talented Christian Bale and...well...Matt Damon could gain her interest.

You kept quiet though, not wanting to gain Soyeon’s ire by pointing out that you very much enjoyed the film about the 1966 Le Mans car race. But you actually liked those kind of films. Biopic style films that is, not car films. They were actually one of your favourite genres to be honest.

Soyeon just dismissed them soundly as Oscar bait and she truly hated to sit there and watch them, much preferring to watch a comedy or romance. You would admit that most biopic films often ended up just looking like they were engineered specifically for the Oscars... but you still liked them. Spotlight was still your favourite best picture winner of the last ten years and you’d die on your hill to make sure people knew that.

Quickly dealing out the player cards, you wait for everyone to turn them over and see who they’re playing as. Chungha is the one to immediately whine, any arguments about the film forgotten as she begins pouting dramatically as she reveals her Dr Facilier character card while Soyeon punches the air in excitement as she reveals that she’d got Hades.

A quick glance at yours has you smiling, noting that Maleficent was always a fun character to play. Not exactly your favourite but she wasn’t as complicated as some characters. You glance over at Chungha with a smirk as you think that, knowing that she probably won’t win with him. Despite playing this game so many times, none of you still quite knew how to play him.

It felt nice to be with them both again though, the atmosphere playful and you felt yourself relaxing into happiness as you watch the two of them start to bicker quietly again to each other. With Hoseok spending so much time at yours nowadays, you often didn’t get to have your normal weekly board game night on Wednesday.

Any time you spend with your best friends had usually been spent going out shopping heading to the cinema. Somewhere that wasn’t home and involved you actually having to go out at the weekend because as much as you love being home, you didn’t want to spend your entire life indoors.

But tonight, Hoseok wasn’t here and you were desperate to play some board games, almost itching to do so. You knew that he’d seen your extensive board game collection but he hadn’t queried it too much so far. It was, strangely, one of the few things that hadn’t come up in conversation and you’d been enjoying your time with him too much to break out the games just yet.

You were going to ask him to play with you though, maybe a game of Villainous like today or something, a nice two-player game that would ease him in to your beloved hobby. He’d mostly been mildly curious so far, looking over the collection you’d amassed over the years before he’d casually commented that the only board game he’d ever played was Monopoly, which had you cringing.

Yes, you’d teach him. And hopefully he’d like it and would keep playing with you.

Tonight though, was for your best friends. You’d invited them over earlier in the day, texting them while at work and hoping they would both be free. They hadn’t been, with Chungha actually being set to go on a date with her new girlfriend, Dahyun, and Soyeon was supposed to have been going out with her work colleagues.

Friday nights were busy obviously, but they’d both dropped their plans immediately to get to spend some time with you. None of you had properly hung out for over two weeks now and you were just as desperate to see them, socialise with someone other than Hoseok.

Because as much as you liked him, you needed people outside of him.

Hoseok hadn’t actually been planning to go out with his own friends tonight, but you’d awkwardly told him that you’d invited Chungha and Soyeon to go to the cinema and that you’d all be coming back here for a game or two. He’d taken it well, probably happy that you were investing time with your friends as well as him, and had made the arrangements with his own friends for the night.

You’d also shyly, very incredibly shyly to the point you’d felt like you were dying, asked him if it was okay to tell them that you’d slept together. That first time, so awkward and shy yet oddly perfect in your mind, had been two weeks ago. Hoseok had joked a few days ago that he’d awoken a sex monster because you’d probably had more sex with him in these last two weeks than you’d had in a year in college.

Okay, you were exaggerating a little but you couldn’t keep your hands off him. You fantasize about him at work and dream about him at night. It’s just...the sex felt so damn good, the pleasure he gave you so overwhelming that once or twice you’d even ended up crying which had bewildered you both. Particularly as you’d yet to orgasm during the actual sex.

You were still a little shy about your body, not particularly liking being naked still despite it all but every time, you felt yourself open up to him a little more. The knowledge that he desired you was intoxicating and you just didn’t understand why it felt so...good with him?

Hoseok didn’t really know either. He was more than okay with all the sex he was suddenly getting, you imagined it probably felt a little like a week long rainstorm after a six year drought to him, but you could tell he wasn’t entirely okay with you not orgasming still.

It didn’t bother you at the moment, you refused to let it because if you let your mind grasp onto that then you knew that you’d never let it go and you’d probably never orgasm during sex. Hoseok was accepting it so far, acknowledging that you knew yourself best and content that it wasn’t upsetting you but you didn’t want him to become stressed over it.

He was being a very good boyfriend in that on more than one occasion, he’d gone down on you first and at least you an orgasm that way. But even the idea of actually getting there during actual sex was daunting at the moment.

Which is why you wanted to talk to the girls tonight, tell them what happened and whether it really was as normal to not orgasm as Hoseok said. You maintained that you were okay with the sex as it was so far, but you’d want to at least try soon.

But you hadn’t wanted to do something he wasn’t happy with, so you’d asked for permission first. Which he’d given with a big grin, eyes sparkling with mischief and happiness. You’d been surprised how easily he’d said yes, as you were unsure whether you wanted him to discuss your sex life with his own friends.

You felt a little selfish thinking like that, but he’d accepted it without question. Just like he always did. It was almost like he understood that you wouldn’t entirely feel comfortable having your problems with sex discussed so openly, particularly given how experienced all his friends were. And they knew all about the girls he’d slept with previously.

You just...couldn’t handle being judged by them like that.

“Hellooooo?” Chungha asks, waving her hand in front of your face. Jerking back, you realise that you’d been a little away with the fairies for the last few minutes and you mutter out an apology, quickly grabbing the character board they gave you along with the green Maleficent character token.

It only takes seconds for you to set up your play area, placing the special white fate deck to one side and your normal green deck to the other side. Taking four cards from your normal deck, you check out the cards you’ve drawn with pursed lips, mind already racing ahead as you try to contemplate what your moves will be along with what your friends moves will be.

Soyeon starts out, moving Hades and collecting some power tokens from the little plastic token cauldron that was placed in the centre of the table. And then her eyes narrow, lips pursing out as she taps her index finger against them. She’s plotting, glancing between your board and Chungha’s before she grins at you, pointing one beautifully painted red nail at you.

“I’ll have your fate cards miss…” Huffing and rolling your eyes in an over-exaggerated manner, you take two of the cards and pass them over to her, leaning back on your hands and waiting for her to decide between the two. She reads them over intently, chewing on her inner cheek before nodding and handing you one back.

And then you watch as she puts Aurora down on your board, covering the top two actions on the location you’re at. Immediately you whine, pouting at her childishly and she just giggles as Chungha takes her own turn.

Soyeon’s smiles turn into frowns though when Chungha repays the favour quickly, taking her fate cards and dealing her a blow to her efforts to win. Villainous always ends up with all three of you getting progressively more aggressive with your gaming until it’s almost like you’re going to come to blows. But none of you take it to heart...after all, it is a game in which the best villain tries to win.

The first game passes by surprisingly fast, all three of you desperately trying to stop each other from winning but you were on the other side of the table to them. Which meant they couldn’t see your board properly, and you proudly placed the final curse on the board that you needed to win, grinning broadly.

“I win!” You chuckle, the sound bright and happy as they both stare at you in a strange mix of exasperation, annoyance and petulance. They take it in their stride though, smiling and congratulating you as you all begin to tidy up the characters.

As they place those cards and pieces back into the boxes, you deal out new characters and set up the boards for the new game. This time, with it being the second game, you all start to chat more.

And inevitably, the conversation turns around to your relationship with one tattooed, pierced metalhead. You could tell that they were interested in hearing more about what was going on in your relationship because you didn’t tell them a huge amount. Thankfully, they were used to that, but you knew that they were insanely curious about the unbelievably sweet man who seemed to be far too nice to be real.

Although...they hadn’t seen how the man seemed incapable of turning off the damn lights after himself. More than once you’d got frustrated at that, though he was getting better at it.

“So...you and Hoseok good?” Soyeon asks lightly, her voice doing that whole fake innocent thing that people do when they’re asking a question that they really want to know the answer to but don’t want to sound like they’re too desperate. Or nosy.

But Soyeon is definitely nosy, and you simply smile at her from above your card hand, currently pressed to your mouth.

You don’t act too coy though because honestly, you’ve been wondering how to get the conversation moving in that direction for a while. One thing you’ve never managed to do is be subtle in your conversations, as Hoseok had discovered, and it’d be obvious that you wanted them to ask about your relationship.

Which would just seem to be big headed in your opinion.

And yet despite wanting to talk about exactly this, you suddenly find yourself extremely shy about it. Slightly odd, you note to yourself, because originally you’d been shy around Hoseok and discussing it with your best friends without too much concern but now you feel shy talking about him with them and had plenty of conversations with ease with him.

Still though, you play with the cards in your hand, grateful to have something to distract your restless limbs with for a few moments. Chungha lets out a quiet sigh, taking a drink from the elegant wine glass you kept in the cupboards just for them before letting her chin rest on her hand.

“He’s treating you good right? I will kick his ass if he’s not. He knows that, right?” Her serious tone makes you snort with laughter, nodding slightly.

“Yes, he’s aware. It’s just...it’s still weird to me that we’re talking about me and not...either of you. When was the last time I dated someone for this long? Or even just dated!” At that point, you’re more rambling to yourself as your eyes widen and you gesture wildly.

The two women looked at each other for a moment before Soyeon makes her move in the game, shifting her character into a different location and quickly doing all the actions available to her.

“It’s slightly odd yes...I mean, I think this is the first time in years that you’re not immediately available do things with on a weekend. Or that you’ve missed board games night for consecutive weeks now. But I’m pretty sure we’re okay with that because oh...my god. You look so happy.” She smiles, pressing her hands to her chest and Chungha grins, nodding excitedly.

It makes you feel bashful, lowering your head to avoid their glances and you hear them both let out breathy laughs.

“Oh come on, you are! I mean...sure you don’t talk about him all the time but I’m not surprised by that. You’ve never been the kind of person to become obsessed about someone else. But it’s just...in the way you just look relaxed and content. The little hints that he spends a lot of time here like the toothbrush in the bathroom.”

“Or the extra shoes and coat in the hallway.”

“And the men’s razor and deodorant. Plus the beer in your fridge. You actually have beer!” Soyeon says, eyes widening as she lifts up the long neck bottle in her hands. Sure enough, it’s one of Hoseok’s that you buy at the supermarket whenever you go to fill up your shelves. He never asked you to buy it, but you’d noticed that it seemed to be his favourite as he drank it the most.

So it found its way into your shopping trolley every week, along with his favourite cereal and a few other snacks he seemed to enjoy the most. You weren’t sure that he’d noticed that they suddenly seemed to populate your kitchen when before they hadn’t but you didn’t want to make a big deal of it.

Apparently though, that hadn’t gone unnoticed by these two.

“He’s just being comfortable. There’s nothing wrong with that. I want him to feel...well comfortable here.” You protest weakly, taking your own turn quietly before waiting once more. Neither of them say anything for a moment and another two turns pass by before one of them speaks again.

“There’s nothing with it, you’re right. We’re happy for you. We were just a little worried that maybe you weren’t entirely okay with him being over all the time. We both know how much you like your personal space after a while and how tired you get from being social.” Chungha says, her fingers running along the worn edge of the table while you detect a note of apprehension in her voice.

You feel warmth and happiness at their concern for you though, knowing that they just want to make sure you’re happy and that you haven’t been forced into something you didn’t like. Exactly like best friends should be like, even if they were ecstatic that you’d found someone like Hoseok.

Shaking your head, you smile at them both brightly as your eyes focus on the cards in front of you. “No, it’s...it’s nothing like that. I kept going to his at first but then he came to mine and...well...you know I prefer being here than anywhere else. So...I kept inviting him over and he seems to like it better here so...yeah. It just kind of...happened?”

Pausing, you bite your lip as nervous butterflies flutter in your stomach while your shoulders shrug.

“I...well...he doesn’t spend all his time here. And like...he’s out with his friends tonight so he’ll probably go back to his place but...I actually like him being here? I don’t feel...drained with him? Like, if I get a bit moody or feel like I need some time to myself then I just go to the bedroom and like, read or something. It works for me and he’s fine with it. I just...I don’t know, it’s weird. I actually don’t really like it when he’s not here,” Pausing for a moment, you frown slightly as you consider that. “I miss him when he’s not here.”

Your words have your best friends practically squealing with delight, both of them vibrating in their places on the floor with ridiculously big grins on their faces.

“Oh my goddd! You’re both so cute together! I’m so happy,” Chungha squeaks, wiggling with her hands fisted tightly and an absurdly happy smile that makes her eyes crinkle prettily. “Seriously, you don’t know how happy I am for you. To see you smiling and laughing while talking about a guy, telling us you’re so comfortable with him that you actually want him here!”

Suddenly, she looks a little teary and you frown, wondering what’s wrong. Soyeon sees it too and smiles, rubbing at Chungha’s shoulders before looking over at you.

“We just...worried about you for a while. Especially when you’d tell us how much you wanted something with someone and to see you finally get it...with someone like Hoseok too. You really hit the boyfriend lottery there, holy shit. He’s so good for you, from what you’ve said and what we’ve seen of him so far. We’re just...so happy that you’re happy!” And now you’re crying, your eyes filling with hot tears that make your eyes sting as your lip trembles.

Looking away from them both, you steadfastly try to stop them from falling. You hate crying, even in front of your best friends. But hearing how genuinely ecstatic they are to know that you’re not only happy but flourishing with Hoseok hits all the insecure parts within you. All the parts that had been convinced for a long time that you’d never find anyone, that no one would ever find you attractive or ever enjoy your personality.

You still didn’t understand why Hoseok wanted you when he could have someone so much better. Why he wanted someone who’s stomach wasn’t firm but a little soft, whose hips were perhaps a little more rounder and ass a bit bigger than you would like. Someone who wasn’t an anxious wreck all the time, who was more outgoing, who wasn’t as blunt and so much more.

But he’d chosen you. He spent time texting you, coming to your house and spending so much time with you and so much more. It was confusing to you, but at the same time you wanted to grip onto him so hard that he couldn’t get away.

“I’m happy.” You get out, voice a little strained and you cough hard to try and push away the emotions. And you want to steer the conversation away from anything too emotional, which is why you turn the topic to sex.

Bizarrely, you feel more comfortable with the idea of talking about sex with them than your innermost emotions. Maybe because you probably won’t burst into tears at your insane feelings of negativity that often swirl inside you.

“Erm...we…I mean...Hoseok and I...he...you know? Went down...on me. A few times actually. And err...two weeks ago we...you know.” Brows rising, you widen your eyes to emphasise what you’re saying and you watch in slight amusement as both of their faces change from being emotional to being shocked and excited.

“Oh...my god. You had that man go down on you? Holy fuck, was it good? Does his tongue piercing actually make a difference?” Soyeon bursts out, the words staccato as she practically spits them out, leaning against the table. Idly, you notice that your game has been near enough abandoned.

Still, her words send the visual image of Hoseok’s head between your legs slamming into your mind. You can almost feel his tongue against you, so hot and warm and wet. Squeezing your thighs, you try to hide the fact that you’d gotten turned on. And that said nothing for the next image that slid through your mind...Hoseok on top of you, his body solid and his breathing hard, deep groans as he slid in and out of you rhythmically.

Eyes widening, you swallow thickly and reach out to take a drink of your water. Chungha eyes you for a moment before snorting, evidently knowing what you’re thinking of even if she can’t be sure of the exact thoughts. But still, you go ahead to answer Soyeon.

“Yeah he...err...I wasn’t too sure because you know...I’ve never had anyone do that. But he sweet about it, pretty patient. I mean he’s always patient, he has the patience of a saint or something. And...err,” You feel yourself heat up in slight embarrassment. “Yeah...it was...really good. He, erm, he made me...you know.”

“Orgasm?” Soyeon grins and you sigh deeply, looking down and shaking your head in sudden amusement.

“You know...that’s the third time that’s happened.” That gets a confused look from the both of them and you inhale deeply, calming yourself as you decide to just say it. They’ve already freaked out once over just oral, finding out you had actual sex was going to blow their minds.

“Hoseok said...literally the same thing the other week when I got shy. We err...were talking about sex. And then we...did it.” You can tell that they both don’t quite realise at first, their faces blank. And then the realisation clicks and their jaws drop.

“Oh my god...oh my god! You...you’ve had sex with him? GIRL, WHY HAVE...you’ve just been sitting on this? I...oh my god, CHUNGHA, SHE’S FUCKED JUNG HOSEOK!” Soyeon practically screams, grabbing a hold of the other woman’s shoulders and shaking her violently before grabbing the BB-8 cushion off the couch behind her and punching it. You protest at that but it goes unnoticed because Chungha is squealing with excitement too.

“Holy shit, oh god...please tell us it was good!” She knocked over her character token by accident but none of you noticed, too busy being overly excited at your sudden sex life. Your sex life, what a strange thought.

Nodding shyly, you try to bite your lip to stop your smile but it doesn’t work, not when they both screech even louder. Anyone would think that they’d had sex with him, not you. But you knew they were so excited. Because even when you’d been in college, they’d known that you weren’t exactly underestanding why everyone raved about sex.

And now here you were, being all bashful about it and evidently having enjoyed it.

“It was...good. Really good. I mean...I didn’t...orgasm-” Before you can even get anything else out, Soyeon is interrupting with an outraged look.

“I’m sorry...a man that looks like that with his kind of track record in bed didn’t make you cum?” It’s Chungha who holds out a calming hand this time, giving her a placating look which basically told her to ‘chill the fuck out’.

“Don’t blame him! It’s not his fault,” You say sternly, surprising all of you with how strong and steady your voice is in your defence of your boyfriend. “I told him not to bother trying. Because...I’ve never even got close during actual sex and...I was a bit anxious anyway obviously. And I was worried that I’d get too stressed or upset if nothing was happening and he was trying to make something happen which just wasn’t going to happen so...I told him not to even try. I just...wanted to...you know...enjoy it with him. It was our first time you know?”

“How did he take that?” Chungha asks before Soyeon can interrupt and you give her a grateful smile, appreciating her calm nature. It seems to affect Soyeon, who quietens down and straightens up her game.

“I mean...he wasn’t like, too happy that I wasn’t going to...orgasm or even try. But...I mean...he agreed. I could tell he wasn’t entirely pleased with that during it but he listened to me. And he was so nice and attentive to me, gave me this whole system to use so that if I felt unhappy or uncomfortable then we would stop. Honestly, don’t get mad he didn’t try, that was on me. I don’t regret it either...I...I mean...we’ve done it again since and I asked for the same and...I really liked it. Maybe it’s because he’s actually paying attention to me or like...caring about me or maybe it’s just because he knows what he’s doing. But...it felt really good...even without an orgasm.” You glance down at your hands, smile bashful on your face as you think back on all the moments.

They had all been hot, obviously, but he’d been very careful with you every time. Even though you hadn’t orgasmed, you’d never felt so comfortable during sex with someone and you’d feel forever grateful to Hoseok for taking the time to make you okay with it all.

“I think I finally understand why people like doing it so much...even though I didn’t get any like...ultimate pleasure or anything...I still want to do it with him again. And again.” Your words go so soft and quiet as you finish off, getting very shy out of nowhere.

Suddenly, despite wanting to talk to them and get advice, you don’t want them to know about those intimate moments with him. Because they were for him, not anyone else. The part of you that you’d kept locked inside for so long was slowly being brought out and it was for him.

“I er...I know I brought this up but erm...I don’t...I don’t think I want to talk about it anymore. I just...this is...it’s erm...our thing. And I think I’m going to work it out with him. I don’t...I don’t know, I’m being silly right? Or stupid? I just...I mean...he’s trying really hard and he’s going so slow. I just...if you tell me like...advice and stuff then I might get too stressed trying to do it and if I can’t do it then I’ll think there’s something wrong with me. So...we’ll work it out. Just...it’s good...it’s better than I thought it was gonna be and he’s really amazing with it. Please don’t think he’s being bad or mean or anything. Seriously he’s...yeah.”

The two of them don’t look offended at your sudden interruption into the conversation and you feel intense relief when they just nod with gentle smiles. You should’ve known that they wouldn’t be bothered about it but you got too into your own head sometimes. It was hard to believe other people didn’t think too hard about stuff when you would spend minutes analysing a single word.

“Hey, that’s fine. You do what you’re comfortable with, okay? That’s what we’ve always said in our friendship right? Don’t stress yourself out for us.” Soyeon said, reaching over the table to grasp at your hand with a supportive smile. Her long brown hair falls forward over her shoulder, curtaining her board from your vision and you simply smile in response.

Chungha grins, wrapping an arm around Soyeon’s shoulder and laughing loudly. “You big mush. This is because you’re due on next week isn’t it?”

Surprisingly, Soyeon just nods and shrugs which causes you both to laugh. You both relate to her, the week before your period was often a russian roulette of symptoms which ranged from back ache to bloating to bad moods to stiff joints. Thankfully, you’d been on the pill for years now and so the more extreme symptoms had abated over time but Soyeon unfortunately always suffered from mood swings leading up to it.

“Thank you...both. Seriously. For...everything, you know.” They both stare at you before smirking, looking back down at the game that you’d all abandoned. Taking another drink of water, you feel your nerves calm down as the conversation moves away from something that had your blood racing.

And not just because it reminded you of pleasurable times.

“Well...we’ve still got a game to finish. And I’m gonna win this time.” With that, you all delve back deep into the game and start trying to do your best to fuck each other over enough to enable you to win. It’s with a deep whine that you lose again, causing you to pout childishly while Chungha wiggles in her little victory dance.

The sudden knock on the door causes you all to jerk in surprise though, pulling you out of setting up the new game. Kasumi who had been curled up asleep on her cat tree sat up with blue jewelled eyes wide and alert. Cooing to her, you reach over and run a hand over her soft head before looking in confusion at the tiny hallway.

“Is that Hoseok?” Soyeon asks, her own brow furrowed as she looks over the door too, her new character’s deck in her hand. Slowly, your head shakes in the negative as you stand and begin to move over.

“No...I mean...I don’t think so. It’s only 11pm, he normally stays out way later than this. And I thought he’d just go back to his place after.” But maybe he hadn’t, maybe he’d come over to yours instead. You’d never experienced drunk Hoseok before, only slightly tipsy.

Opening the door as far as the chain would allow, your eyes widen as you take in the sight of your boyfriend. He’s stood looking down at his phone, hair its usual messy after a whole day of running his hands through it while he’s just got on a plain black shirt tonight, covered by his favourite leather jacket.

Unlocking it properly, you open the door wide and look at him confused, arms crossing over your chest as he finally notices and gives you a big smile. His eyes are ever so slightly glazed but he’s not swaying on his feet, so you don’t think he’s drunk.

“Hey baby.” He says, voice completely steady and not even slightly slurred. Suddenly though, he frowns, hands coming up to cup your face. “Are you okay? You’ve been crying.”

Trust him to recognise that immediately. Though, you’d be lying if you said it didn’t make your heart warm that he’d noticed even while tipsy. You shake your head at him though, giving him a gentle smile and telling it’s nothing.

He eyes you carefully for a moment before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to your lips. His breath and lips smell of alcohol but he seems fine as he moves past you, kicking off his shoes and shrugging off his jacket.

Heading back into the living room, you sit back down at the table on the floor and look back at him as he walks in. You’re suddenly incredibly aware of how small your apartment is with four people in it, particularly when Hoseok takes up so much space on his own given how big he is compared to everyone else.

Plus, he’s always your spot of darkness in an overly cute apartment.

Soyeon and Chungha greet him kindly, fully eyeing him without a care in the world. You’d warned him long ago that they were much bolder and open than you were and he’d just laughed, taking it in his stride. He was used to big personalities with his own friends after all.

“I thought you’d still be out?” You ask, picking up your deck once more and looking at the girls. They gesture to your board, indicating that it’s your turn and you hum lightly, moving your piece before beginning to go through the actions available to you.

“Yeah but...I got tired. I got called in early this morning and then they sent me to our other site which is like...a two hour drive away. Which would’ve been fine, but I was only there for half an hour and then had to drive all the way back. So I’m just tired and I want to go to sleep.” Hoseok has the slightest hint of a whine in his voice and you smother the smile that wants to spread at it.

Despite his big and scary looks, he was a huge softie who particularly liked being coddled apparently. Something you’d never guess looking at all those tattoos and piercings.

“Okay, but I thought you’d go back to yours tonight?” You’re aware suddenly that you sound more cold than you intend to, so you look at him and give him a smile to let him know that you’re not annoyed or anything. He smiles back, suddenly looking a lot less unsure of himself.

“No...I just...I forgot you’d both come over, I’m sorry,” Hoseok apologies to your best friends, giving an apologetic look which they wave off graciously. “I wanted to sleep here tonight.”

That sentence is said a little quieter than before and your stomach squeezes tightly before erupting into a flurry of tiny butterflies which batter themselves at your sides incessantly. He’d wanted to come to yours and sleep next to you tonight, that’s what he was saying but didn’t want to actually say in front of your friends.

Whether it was because he was embarrassed to say it or he didn’t want you to get embarrassed, you knew what he was really saying. Because you felt the same way when he wasn’t there in the bed with you nowadays.

You missed him, and he obviously missed sleeping next to you. He’d stayed at his place last night and you’d reconciled yourself to another night on your own. But he’d gotten a little tipsy and apparently just wanted to come to you.

“That’s fine, but we just started another game so I’m not going to be going to bed for a while yet.” A rarity really, because you always slept earlier than him.

“We can go if you want?” Chungha says politely, gesturing to the door and Soyeon nods as well, neither of them looking like they want to interrupt the two lovebirds. But immediately Hoseok is shaking his head, holding his hands out in a placating gesture.

“No, no! Please don’t. Finish your game, it’s fine. I’m just gonna go shower then go straight to bed, I’m too tired to stay up. It’s okay.” He smiles, moving over to you and crouching down to give you another quick kiss before standing back up, his knees cracking loudly.

“I’ll probably see you tomorrow.” Letting out a chuffed laugh, you nod with amusement and grin even bigger when he leans down and kisses your forehead sweetly. “Night then.”

Hoseok says goodnight to the girls politely, not noticing the awed faces they both have on and once he’s turned around, you gesture at them to stop it. The poor guy’s going to get a complex if they keep it up.

As per usual, Hoseok showers at the speed of light and in less than ten minutes he’s already back out, freshly clean in his sleep wear. A final goodbye to you is given along with an overly exaggerated flying kiss which makes you squirm in embarrassment and just causes him to laugh happily.

The bedroom door doesn’t close all the way behind him, you never close it because of Kasumi and sure enough, there’s a tiny little chirp to your right. Looking over, you grin as Kasumi stretches, her back arching and tail fluffing itself up before she hops down from where she’d been resting all evening.

Brushing herself against you, she gives a soft purr of happiness before letting out a little mewl. There’s a brief moment to acknowledge Chungha and Soyeon, each giving her the requisite pats that cats deserve before she walks elegantly to the bedroom door and disappears inside.

Looking back at you, the girls give you a bemused smile and you shrug exasperatedly, a half smile playing on your lips.

“In case you hadn’t noticed, Kasumi loves Hoseok. She spends more time sleeping on him than she does me.”

“Okay but like...that’s adorable.” Soyeon points out and you just nod your head in response, watching as Chungha finally takes her turn after the interruption that had distracted you all.

“Yep, it is. But what’s even cuter is seeing how a teeny little fluffball managed to completely win over the big, tattooed metalhead. She’s got him exactly where she wants him and I think she might be at least a quarter of the reasons he comes over so much.”

“The other three quarters is obviously the fine beer.” Lifting up her beer bottle, Soyeon smirks before swallowing the final frothy liquid inside as you give her a nod, the smile on your face taking away any sarcasm you might be going for.

“That’s exactly it.”

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zashamalkin · 3 years

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Sport24 spent the whole day with Kasterova and found out how the wife of the three-time Stanley Cup winner lives.

Translation below the cut.

Sunday afternoon. The film crew and I drive up to the Malkins' house at 11:00. Anna's morning begins with a workout. The gym is located on the first floor of the house, where we meet the heroine and her coach Igor Kim, the CrossFit champion. “I always try to start the day with a workout, sometimes more intense, sometimes less. Today I will show you the standard workout that I do on the day of the broadcast. It gives a boost of energy, good mood, " Anna begins.

First, warm up on a treadmill for ten minutes. Then there are jumps and squats, several types of "planks". “I train almost every day. I make myself indulgences: one or two days. To be honest, in Moscow I train less often and less intensively . "

An obligatory part of the program is work with dumbbells. With them, Anna lunges. This is followed by exercises with TRX loops and on the machine. “We work a lot on posture, gait, ” explains Kasterov between approaches. While the trainer puts “pancakes” on the barbell, Anna talks about working with “weights” and her diet.

- You can't pump your ass without weights. This is unrealistic. And it's not a fact with weights. All have their weak points. I was once asked on Instagram the question: "Is it possible to pump up the ass in two months?" No you can not.

- Nutrition is also very important. - Of course! You kill so much in the gym, work for the result ... Well, what kind of rolls and gingerbread can we talk about? Already somewhere you have to choose steamed fish, vegetables. For example, now I don't eat sweets at all. In general, I have a sweet tooth: I don't eat fruits, but I like milk chocolate, kinders. But over the past two months I have not eaten sweets at all.

After squats with a barbell of 30 kg, jumping with an elastic band. The workout has been running for forty minutes, so it's time to cool down and stretch. At this time, Evgeny and Nikita Malkin appear at the door, who have come to say goodbye to their mother. Dad is taking his son to hockey practice. “When it comes to hockey, Evgeny is mainly involved. He himself sees and understands what load the child needs, how many times a week he needs to do it, ”says Anna.

After training, Anna leaves to get ready. And in a few hours we go to the Suistudio store to meet with Match TV stylist Ruslan Shakurov and try on clothes for the television broadcast next week. On the way, we discussed with Kasterova her return to the big screen.

- The news of your return to Russian television excited the public. When did you receive an offer from Match TV and how long did you think about it? - Everything always happens spontaneously with me. As practice shows, if you prepare for some projects for a long time, then something will definitely happen. We knew a lot of guys from Match TV, including managers, chief editors, and sound engineers, and worked together at Russia-2. We basically kept in touch all this time. Before the anniversary of Match TV (November 1, 2020, the channel celebrated its fifth anniversary. - Ed.) I got a call from one of the channel's top managers and invited me to a festive broadcast with Dima Guberniev. I was just about to fly to Sochi on vacation. I was very inspired by this proposal, immediately changed tickets, returned earlier and came as a guest presenter. The broadcast went easily, even there were such reviews: “We understand that you had a five-year break, but you worked so well, it was obvious that you were comfortable. Professionalism is not lost. How do you think about working while Zhenya is in Russia? " We discussed everything with the management, including Tina (Kandelaki, general producer of Match TV. - Ed. ). By the way, she just charmed me. An incredibly smart, wise, amazing woman.

- When the season begins in the NHL, will you fly with Zhenya to America? “I don’t want to reveal all our secrets, all our agreements with Tina. We have a specific goal with her for the next year, to which we are moving. Perhaps I will periodically appear on the air. I will stay with Eugene in the USA, then I will return to Moscow for a month. All this does not exclude my possible journalistic activity in America.

- Before the first broadcasts after your return, were you very nervous? - No. Many thanks must be said to Dima Guberniev, who was able to relax me, create a comfortable atmosphere, and it was all “for fun”. The first broadcast was easy, there was no excitement. Another thing is when I was offered to return. Here I am already responsible, I am the one who broadcasts with the guests. Before the first broadcast, I was worried. But everything went well. I know how to cope with nerves, years of work and experience have not gone anywhere.

- Has it become difficult now to combine personal life and work? - In general, I spend a lot of time with my child. Of course, now it turns out less. But you have to think about yourself somehow. All these years I really missed work, broadcasts, these feelings. Fortunately, I have a very understanding family. First of all, my husband, who supported me incredibly strongly. Before each broadcast, he tunes me in, gives me parting words. He's happy for me. Understands that I will not stay in Moscow forever.

- From the outside one gets the impression that your life in recent years has been ideal. Husband with son, Miami, high income and the ability to buy whatever you want. Why did you decide to return to television and what did you miss? - In general, I was not born in some kind of golden cradle. In order to achieve some results in my career, I had to work hard. Actually, it hasn't gone anywhere. Yes, we are definitely lucky. We have a wonderful life filled with comfort. But understand that there are pros and cons everywhere. This does not mean that I wake up when I want and do what I want. Living with a professional athlete is also a certain job. A lot of time and attention is spent on Eugene. He is the head of the family, he is the main earner. We are all adjusting to it.

The desire to work never left me. By the way, many acquaintances said to me: “Nafig do you need this? You already have everything. Live, get high. " But, probably, I am so arranged that I cannot. There was a feeling that I had not completely done something, that I still want ethereal emotions, sensations. It's like a drug.

- You are constantly included in the ratings of the sexiest and most beautiful women in Russia. When you open these articles and news, what emotions do you feel? - It is very nice. Recently, a rating of Maxim magazine was compiled, at first the publication announced a list of girls who were included in it. By the way, they have a very cool editor-in-chief Alexander Malenkov, we have known each other for a long time. He has a cool editor who deals with Instagram. And they wrote that I am one of the few who does not appear in the media, but at the same time do not lose the love of the electorate. For me, this is also a pleasant moment. We come to Moscow for just a couple of months, but nevertheless, people do not forget. The guys from my fan group leave comments under the posts all the time. Naturally, this attention spurs.

As for all these ratings, I will not say that it gives me confidence. I am a very self-critical person, I will find a bunch of flaws and flaws in myself. But, apparently, it means that people cannot be fooled. I like it, it's cool. I really appreciate all this.

***

- When you first moved to America to your Zhenya, how difficult was it to get used to your new life? Here you had a job, loved ones, and there is only him. - It was difficult, especially in the first year. A new country, people, a language that at that time was not at the same level as it is now. Naturally, there was a certain barrier. Zhenya was constantly on the road, plus pregnancy, no one canceled hormones. It was very hard, there was not enough work. I reflected very hard on this at the time.

- In the hockey world, it is often discussed that you spend more time in Miami, and Eugene in Pittsburgh. Doesn't he take offense? - It's all not true. I don't understand where it came from at all. I heard that from someone too. Miami just has more opportunities to take cool photos. And even then, if you look at my instagram, then there are photos from Miami and Pittsburgh approximately equally. But people are strange. If Zhenya leaves for three weeks, then, naturally, my child and I will fly to Miami. We, in fact, bought apartments there for this. Plus Nikita goes to an American school there, learns the language.

- Anastasia Ovechkina told me that if she and Sasha go to the shopping mall to buy groceries, they will recognize him everywhere and ask to be photographed. Do you and Zhenya have the same situation in the USA and Russia? - As far as Pittsburgh and Moscow are concerned, Zhenya is one hundred percent recognizable. Going out somewhere and not taking a picture with someone is unrealistic. He's so reliable. Now, maybe because of the coronavirus, he is somewhere afraid, after all, he is responsible for his family.

At first, his recognition was a problem for me. When we started dating, I understood who he was, but did not imagine the extent of his popularity. Going out somewhere to eat so that no one stares at you is really difficult. I don’t remember that. But now we already know certain places, we can sit in a separate room in the restaurant in order to calmly spend time alone or with a family.

- Is it unrealistic for you to go to Gorky Park with your family in good weather? - Get out this way we'll get out. But it will definitely not work out there quietly.

- Is the situation in America the same? - Yes.

- When you first started dating, was it difficult for you to get used to the fact that the schedule of the second person should be put first and your life should be adjusted to his schedule? - Now it's harder for me to talk about it, because I've already forgotten my feelings, whims. I'm used to being adjusted to me. But everything was smooth. Yes, and I fell in love, I wanted to please him, create a comfortable atmosphere so that everything in our family would be good. Everything was calm, harmonious, without any hysterics. There were, of course, small ones (laughs) .

- And you are still in a foreign country, alone. - Yes. Zhenya supported me. Sometimes, however, it seemed to me that he was not doing it enough. But then it passed, there was a complete mutual understanding.

***

For a pleasant conversation, we quietly reach our destination. In the boutique, stylist Ruslan Shakurov is already waiting for us. He takes a tour of the store, shows him the bows he likes, and we go to the fitting room. For the broadcasts Ruslan picked up three pantsuits: bright yellow, beige and blue with stripes. By a collective decision, we choose the brightest - yellow. In it very soon Anna will appear on the air. At the exit from the store, she even admits: “I never thought I'd say this, but I'm really a little tired of shopping” (laughs) . We go to a nearby coffee shop to discuss some more interesting topics.

- The first question suggests itself. Are you a shopaholic at all? - Well, in general, like any normal girl, yes. I love it. Cheers up. It's always nice to pamper yourself.

- In quarantine, your husband posted a video of how he plays computer games. Do you mind? And does he not involve his son? - Absolutely all children play with gadgets: be it a phone, an iPad. Of course, there are limitations. But I cannot completely forbid. He still pays attention to his peers, to older guys who play. I try to offer alternatives, some interesting games. As for Zhenya, I am also calm. Each person has their own ways to relieve stress: someone needs to go for a drink, someone has a smoke, someone needs to play computer games. I don't see it going off scale. Plus, he communicates with many guys there, who, like him, play. Zhenya is not the only hockey player. If it relieves stress, for God's sake. This is not the worst thing that can be.

- You have repeatedly said that you have a difficult character, both of you and Zhenya are hot-tempered. How is it in your family after unsuccessful games? - I relatively recently caught up to the end what my husband experiences after unsuccessful matches. When around, perhaps, no one noticed his mistakes, but he knows to himself that he played badly. I had such a broadcast when I was left very unhappy with myself, but everyone around liked everything and no one said anything bad. I went out and was not at all, because I realized that I did not spend it as I could, and reflected on this for several more hours. Probably at that moment I compared myself to Zhenya and realized that it was difficult to find some words at that moment.

In general, my husband doesn't have many bad games. Zhenya always shows himself, in almost every game. But if the match was not very successful, I step aside, do not torment me with questions and conversations. We had dinner, he went to play a computer game or read a book. At such moments I try to just not go to him. A person needs to be alone, to come to his senses.

- You somehow teased each other in the comments of Instagram. Is it the same in life? - Constantly! This is our communication style. Of course, in some moments there is tenderness, warmth. But we often joke about each other, everything comes from his side. Moreover, Nikita is becoming more mature, and her husband begins to involve the child in his events. It's funny! In general, in our family you will not get bored.

#evgeni malkin #anna kasterova #off season 2020 #moscow #match tv #sport24

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ahouseoflies · 3 years

Text

The Best Films of 2020

I can’t tell you anything novel or insightful about this year that has been stolen from our lives. I watched zero of these films in a theater, and I watched most of them half-asleep in moments that I stole from my children. Don’t worry, there are some jokes below.

GARBAGE

93. Capone (Josh Trank)- What is the point of this dinner theater trash? It takes place in the last year of Capone's life, when he was released from prison due to failing health and suffered a stroke in his Florida home. So it covers...none of the things that make Al Capone interesting? It's not historically accurate, which I have no problem with, but if you steer away from accuracy, then do something daring and exciting. Don't give me endless scenes of "Phonse"--as if the movie is running from the very person it's about--drawing bags of money that promise intrigue, then deliver nothing in return.

That being said, best "titular character shits himself" scene since The Judge.

92. Ammonite (Francis Lee)- I would say that this is the Antz to Portrait of a Lady on Fire's A Bug's Life, but it's actually more like the Cars 3 to Portrait of a Lady on Fire's Toy Story 1.

91. Ava (Tate Taylor)- Despite the mystery and inscrutability that usually surround assassins, what if we made a hitman movie but cared a lot about her personal life? Except neither the assassin stuff nor the family stuff is interesting?

90. Wonder Woman 1984 (Patty Jenkins)- What a miscalculation of what audiences loved about the first and wanted from the sequel. WW84 is silly and weightless in all of the ways that the first was elegant and confident. If the return of Pine is just a sort of phantom representation of Diana's desires, then why can he fly a real plane? If he is taking over another man's soul, then, uh, what ends up happening to that guy? For that matter, why is it not 1984 enough for Ronald Reagan to be president, but it is 1984 enough for the president to have so many Ronald Reagan signifiers that it's confusing? Why not just make a decision?

On paper, the me-first values of the '80s lend themselves to the monkey's paw wish logic of this plot. You could actually do something with the Star Wars program or the oil crisis. But not if the setting is played for only laughs and the screenplay explains only what it feels like.

89. Babyteeth (Shannon Murphy)- In this type of movie, there has to be a period of the Ben Mendelsohn character looking around befuddled about the new arrangement and going, "What's this now--he's going to be...living with us? The guy who tried to steal our medication? This is crazy!" But that's usually ten minutes, and in this movie it's an hour. I was so worn out by the end.

88. You Should Have Left (David Koepp)- David Koepp wrote Jurassic Park, so he's never going to hell, but how dare he start caring about his own mystery at the hour mark. There's a forty-five minute version of this movie that could get an extra star from me, and there's a three-hour version of Amanda Seyfried walking around in athleisure that would get four stars from me. What we actually get? No thanks.

87. Black Is King (Beyonce, et al.)- End your association with The Lion King, Bey. It has resulted in zero bops.

ADMIRABLE FAILURES

86. Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (Cathy Yan)- There's nothing too dysfunctional in the storytelling or performances, but Birds of Prey also doesn't do a single thing well. I would prefer something alive and wild, even if it were flawed, to whatever tame belt-level formula this is.

85. The Turning (Floria Sigismondi)- This update of The Turn of the Screw pumps the age of Miles up to high school, which creates some horny creepiness that I liked. But the age of the character also prevents the ending of the novel from happening in favor of a truly terrible shrug. I began to think that all of the patience that the film showed earlier was just hesitance for its own awful ending.

I watched The Turning as a Mackenzie Davis Movie Star heat check, and while I'm not sure she has the magnetism I was looking for, she does have a great teacher voice, chastening but maternal.

84. Bloodshot (David Wilson)- A whole lot of Vin Diesel saying he's going to get revenge and kill a bunch of dudes; not a whole lot of Vin Diesel actually getting revenge and killing a bunch of dudes.

83. Downhill (Nat Faxon and Jim Rash)- I was an English major in college, which means I ended up locking myself into literary theories that, halfway through the writing of an essay, I realized were flawed. But rather than throw out the work that I had already proposed, I would just keep going and see if I could will the idea to success.

So let's say you have a theory that you can take Force Majeure by Ruben Ostlund, one of the best films of its year, and remake it so that its statement about familial anxiety could apply to Americans of the same age and class too...if it hadn't already. And maybe in the first paragraph you mess up by casting Will Ferrell and Julia Louis-Dreyfus, people we are conditioned to laugh at, when maybe this isn't that kind of comedy at all. Well, don't throw it away. You can quote more--fill up the pages that way--take an exact shot or scene from the original. Does that help? Maybe you can make the writing more vigorous and distinctive by adding a character. Is that going to make this baby stand out? Maybe you could make it more personal by adding a conclusion that is slightly more clever than the rest of the paper?

Or perhaps this is one you're just not going to get an A on.

82. Hillbilly Elegy (Ron Howard)- I watched this melodrama at my mother's encouragement, and, though I have been trying to pin down her taste for decades, I think her idea of a successful film just boils down to "a lot of stuff happens." So in that way, Ron Howard's loss is my gain, I guess.

There is no such thing as a "neutral Terminator."

81. Relic (Natalie Erika James)- The star of the film is Vanessa Cerne's set decoration, but the inert music and slow pace cancel out a house that seems neglected slowly over decades.

80. Buffaloed (Tanya Wexler)- Despite a breathless pace, Buffaloed can't quite congeal. In trying to split the difference between local color hijinks and Moneyballed treatise on debt collection, it doesn't commit enough to either one.

Especially since Zoey Deutch produced this one in addition to starring, I'm getting kind of worried about boo's taste. Lot of Two If by Seas; not enough While You Were Sleepings.

79. Like a Boss (Miguel Arteta)- I chuckled a few times at a game supporting cast that is doing heavy lifting. But Like a Boss is contrived from the premise itself--Yeah, what if people in their thirties fell out of friendship? Do y'all need a creative consultant?--to the escalation of most scenes--Why did they have to hide on the roof? Why do they have to jump into the pool?

The movie is lean, but that brevity hurts just as much as it helps. The screenplay knows which scenes are crucial to the development of the friendship, but all of those feel perfunctory, in a different gear from the setpieces.

To pile on a bit: Studio comedies are so bare bones now that they look like Lifetime movies. Arteta brought Chuck & Buck to Sundance twenty years ago, and, shot on Mini-DV for $250,000, it was seen as a DIY call-to-bootstraps. I guarantee that has more setups and locations and shooting days than this.

78. Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga (David Dobkin)- Add Dan Stevens to the list of supporting players who have bodied Will Ferrell in his own movie--one that he cared enough to write himself.

Like Downhill, Ferrell's other 2020 release, this isn't exactly bad. It's just workmanlike and, aside from the joke about Demi Lovato's "uninformed" ghost, frustratingly conventional.

77. The Traitor (Marco Bellochio)- Played with weary commitment by Pierfrancesco Favino, Tomasso Buscetta is "credited" as the first informant of La Cosa Nostra. And that sounds like an interesting subject for a "based on a true story" crime epic, right? Especially when you find out that Buscetta became a rat out of principle: He believed that the mafia to which he had pledged his life had lost its code to the point that it was a different organization altogether.

At no point does Buscetta waver or even seem to struggle with his decision though, so what we get is less conflicted than that description might suggest. None of these Italian mob movies glorify the lifestyle, so I wasn't expecting that. But if the crime doesn't seem enticing, and snitching on the crime seems like forlorn duty, and everything is pitched with such underhanded matter-of-factness that you can't even be sure when Buscetta has flipped, then what are we left with? It was interesting seeing how Italian courts work, I guess?

76. Kajillionaire (Miranda July)- This is another movie so intent on building atmosphere and lore that it takes too long to declare what it is. When the protagonist hits a breaking point and has to act, she has only a third of a film to grow. So whispery too.

Gina Rodriguez is the one to inject life into it. As soon as her motormouth winds up, the film slips into a different gear. The atmosphere and lore that I mentioned reeks of artifice, but her character is believably specific. Beneath a basic exterior is someone who is authentically caring but still morally compromised, beholden to the world that the other characters are suspicious of.

75. Scoob! (Tony Cervone)- The first half is sometimes clever, but it hammers home the importance of friendship while separating the friends.

The second half has some positive messaging, but your kids' movie might have a problem with scale if it involves Alexander the Great unlocking the gates of the Underworld.

My daughter loved it.

74. The Lovebirds (Michael Showalter)- If I start talking too much about this perfectly fine movie, I end up in that unfair stance of reviewing the movie I wanted, not what is actually there.* As a fan of hang-out comedies, I kind of resent that any comedy being made now has to be rolled into something more "exciting," whether it's a wrongfully accused or mistaken identity thriller or some other genre. Such is the post-Game Night world. There's a purposefully anti-climactic note that I wish The Lovebirds had ended on, but of course we have another stretch of hiding behind boats and shooting guns. Nanjiani and Rae are really charming leads though.

*- As a New Orleanian, I was totally distracted by the fake aspects of the setting too. "Oh, they walked to Jefferson from downtown? Really?" You probably won't be bothered by the locations.

73. Sonic the Hedgehog (Jeff Fowler)- In some ways the storytelling is ambitious. (I'm speaking for only myself, but I'm fine with "He's a hedgehog, and he's really fast" instead of the owl mother, teleportation backstory. Not everything has to be Tolkien.) But that ambition doesn't match the lack of ambition in the comedy, which depends upon really hackneyed setups and structures. Guiding Jim Carrey to full alrighty-then mode was the best choice anyone made.

72. Malcolm & Marie (Sam Levinson)- The stars move through these long scenes with agility and charisma, but the degree of difficulty is just too high for this movie to reach what it's going for.

Levinson is trying to capture an epic fight between a couple, and he can harness the theatrical intensity of such a thing, but he sacrifices almost all of the nuance. In real life, these knock-down-drag-outs can be circular and indirect and sad in a way that this couple's manipulation rarely is. If that emotional truth is all this movie is trying to achieve, I feel okay about being harsh in my judgment of how well it does that.

71. Beanpole (Kantemir Balagov)- Elusive in how it refuses to declare itself, forthright in how punishing it is. The whole thing might be worth it for a late dinner scene, but I'm getting a bit old to put myself through this kind of misery.

70. The Burnt Orange Heresy (Giuseppe Capotondi)- Silly in good ways until it's silly in bad ways. Elizabeth Debicki remains 6'3".

69. Everybody’s Everything (Sebastian Jones and Ramez Silyan)- As a person who listened to Lil Peep's music, I can confidently say that this documentary is overstating his greatness. His death was a significant loss, as the interview subjects will all acknowledge, but the documentary is more useful as a portrait of a certain unfocused, rapacious segment of a generation that is high and online at all times.

68. The Witches (Robert Zemeckis)- Robert Zemeckis, Kenya Barris, and Guillermo Del Toro are the credited screenwriters, and in a fascinating way, you can see the imprint of each figure on the final product. Adapting a very European story to the old wives' tales of the American South is an interesting choice. Like the Nicolas Roeg try at this material, Zemeckis is not afraid to veer into the terrifying, and Octavia Spencer's pseudo witch doctor character only sells the supernatural. From a storytelling standpoint though, it seems as if the obstacles are overcome too easily, as if there's a whole leg of the film that has been excised. The framing device and the careful myth-making of the flashback make promises that the hotel half of the film, including the abrupt ending, can't live up to.

If nothing else, Anne Hathaway is a real contender for Most On-One Performance of the year.

67. Irresistible (Jon Stewart)- Despite a sort of imaginative ending, Jon Stewart's screenplay feels more like the declarative screenplay that would get you hired for a good movie, not a good screenplay itself. It's provocative enough, but it's clumsy in some basic ways and never evades the easy joke.

For example, the Topher Grace character is introduced as a sort of assistant, then is re-introduced an hour later as a polling expert, then is shown coaching the candidate on presentation a few scenes later. At some point, Stewart combined characters into one role, but nothing got smoothed out.

ENDEARING CURIOSITIES WITH BIG FLAWS

66. Yes, God, Yes (Karen Maine)- Most people who are Catholic, including me, are conflicted about it. Most people who make movies about being Catholic hate it and have an axe to grind. This film is capable of such knowing wit and nuance when it comes to the lived-in details of attending a high school retreat, but it's more concerned with taking aim at hypocrisy in the broad way that we've seen a million times. By the end, the film is surprisingly all-or-nothing when Christian teenagers actually contain multitudes.

Part of the problem is that Karen Maine's screenplay doesn't know how naive to make the Alice character. Sometimes she's reasonably naive for a high school senior in 2001; sometimes she's comically naive so that the plot can work; and sometimes she's stupid, which isn't the same as naive.

65. Bad Boys for Life (Adil El Arbi and Bilall Fallah)- This might be the first buddy cop movie in which the vets make peace with the tech-comm youngs who use new techniques. If that's the only novelty on display here--and it is--then maybe that's enough. I laughed maybe once. Not that the mistaken identity subplot of Bad Boys 1 is genius or anything, but this entry felt like it needed just one more layer to keep it from feeling as basic as it does. Speaking of layers though, it's almost impossible to watch any Will Smith movie now without viewing it through the meta-narrative of "What is Will Smith actually saying about his own status at this point in his career?" He's serving it up to us.

I derived an inordinate amount of pleasure from seeing the old school Simpson/Bruckheimer logo.

64. The Gentlemen (Guy Ritchie)- Look, I'm not going to be too negative on a movie whose crime slang is so byzantine that it has to be explained with subtitles. That's just me. I'm a simple man. But I can tell you that I tuned out pretty hard after seven or eight double-crosses.

The bloom is off the rose a bit for Ritchie, but he can still nail a music cue. I've been waiting for someone to hit "That's Entertainment" the way he does on the end credits.

63. Bad Hair (Justin Simien)- In Bad Hair, an African-American woman is told by her boss at a music video channel in 1989 that straightening her hair is the way to get ahead; however, her weave ends up having a murderous mind of its own. Compared to that charged, witty logline, the execution of the plot itself feels like a laborious, foregone conclusion. I'm glad that Simien, a genuinely talented writer, is making movies again though. Drop the skin-care routine, Van Der Beek!

62. Greyhound (Aaron Schneider)- "If this is the type of role that Tom Hanks writes for himself, then he understands his status as America's dad--'wise as the serpent, harmless as the dove'--even better than I thought." "America's Dad! Aye aye, sir!" "At least half of the dialogue is there for texture and authenticity, not there to be understood by the audience." "Fifty percent, Captain!" "The environment looks as fake as possible, but I eventually came around to the idea that the movie is completely devoid of subtext." "No subtext to be found, sir!"

61. Mank (David Fincher)- About ten years ago, the Creative Screenwriting podcast spent an hour or so with James Vanderbilt, the writer of Zodiac and nothing else that comes close, as he relayed the creative paces that David Fincher pushed him through. Hundreds of drafts and years of collaborative work eventuated in the blueprint for Fincher's most exacting, personal film, which he didn't get a writing credit on only because he didn't seek one.

Something tells me that Fincher didn't ask for rewrites from his dead father. No matter what visuals and performances the director can coax from the script--and, to be clear, these are the worst visuals and performances of his career--they are limited by the muddy lightweight pages. There are plenty of pleasures, like the slippery election night montage or the shakily platonic relationship between Mank and Marion. But Fincher hadn't made a film in six years, and he came back serving someone else's master.

60. Tesla (Michael Almereyda)- "You live inside your head." "Doesn't everybody?"

As usual, Almereyda's deconstructions are invigorating. (No other moment can match the first time Eve Hewson's Anne fact-checks something with her anachronistic laptop.) But they don't add up to anything satisfying because Tesla himself is such an opaque figure. Driven by the whims of his curiosity without a clear finish line, the character gives Hawke something enigmatic to play as he reaches deep into a baritone. But he's too inward to lend himself to drama. Tesla feels of a piece with Almereyda's The Experimenter, and that's the one I would recommend.

59. Vitalina Varela (Pedro Costa)- I can't oversell how delicately beautiful this film is visually. There's a scene in which Vitalina lugs a lantern into a church, but we get several seconds of total darkness before that one light source carves through it and takes over part of the frame. Each composition is as intricate as it is overpowering, achieving a balance between stark and mannered.

That being said, most of the film is people entering or exiting doors. I felt very little of the haunting loss that I think I was supposed to.

58. The Rhythm Section (Reed Morano)- Call it the Timothy Hutton in The General's Daughter Corollary: If a name-actor isn't in the movie much but gets third billing, then, despite whom he sends the protagonist to kill, he is the Actual Bad Guy.

Even if the movie serves up a lot of cliche, the action and sound design are visceral. I would like to see more from Morano.

57. Red, White and Blue (Steve McQueen)- Well-made and heartfelt even if it goes step-for-step where you think it will.

Here's what I want to know though: In the academy training sequence, the police cadets have to subdue a "berserker"; that is, a wildman who swings at their riot gear with a sledgehammer. Then they get him under control, and he shakes their hands, like, "Good angle you took on me there, mate." Who is that guy and where is his movie? Is this full-time work? Is he a police officer or an independent contractor? What would happen if this exercise didn't go exactly as planned?

56. Wolfwalkers (Tomm Moore and Ross Stewart)- The visuals have an unfinished quality that reminded me of The Tale of Princess Kaguya--the center of a flame is undrawn white, and fog is just negative space. There's an underlying symmetry to the film, and its color palette changes with mood.

Narratively, it's pro forma and drawn-out. Was Riley in Inside Out the last animated protagonist to get two parents? My daughter stuck with it, but she needed a lot of context for the religious atmosphere of 17th century Ireland.

55. What She Said: The Art of Pauline Kael (Rob Garver)- The film does little more than one might expect; it's limited in the way that any visual medium is when trying to sum up a woman of letters. But as far as education for Kael's partnership with Warren Beatty or the idea of The New Yorker paying her for only six months out of the year, it was useful for me.

Although Garver isn't afraid to point to the work that made Kael divisive, it would have been nice to have one or two interview subjects who questioned her greatness, rather than the crew of Paulettes who, even when they do say something like, "Sometimes I radically disagreed with her," do it without being able to point to any specifics.

54. Beastie Boys Story (Spike Jonze)- As far as this Spike Jonze completist is concerned, this is more of a Powerpoint presentation than a movie, Beastie Boys Story still warmed my heart, making me want to fire up Paul's Boutique again and take more pictures of my buddies.

53. Tenet (Christopher Nolan)- Cool and cold, tantalizing and frustrating, loud and indistinct, Tenet comes close to Nolan self-parody, right down to the brutalist architecture and multiple characters styled like him. The setpieces grabbed me, I'll admit.

Nolan's previous film, which is maybe his best, was "about" a lot and just happened to play with time; Tenet is only about playing with time.

PRETTY GOOD MOVIES

52. Shithouse (Cooper Raiff)- "Death is ass."

There's such a thing as too naturalistic. If I wanted to hear how college freshmen really talked, I would hang out with college freshmen. But you have to take the good verisimilitude with the bad, and good verisimilitude is the mother's Pod Save America t-shirt.

There are some poignant moments (and a gonzo performance from Logan Miller) in this auspicious debut from Cooper Raiff, the writer/director/editor/star. But the second party sequence kills some of the momentum, and at a crucial point, the characters spell out some motivation that should have stayed implied.

51. Totally Under Control (Alex Gibney, Ophelia Harutyunyan, Suzanne Hillinger)- As dense and informative as any other Gibney documentary with the added flex of making it during the pandemic it is investigating.

But yeah, why am I watching this right now? I don't need more reasons to be angry with Trump, whom this film calmly eviscerates. The directors analyze Trump's narcissism first through his contradictions of medical expertise in order to protect the economy that could win him re-election. Then it takes aim at his hiring based on loyalty instead of experience. But you already knew that, which is the problem with the film, at least for now.

50. Happiest Season (Clea Duvall)- I was in the perfect mood to watch something this frothy and bouncy. Every secondary character receives a moment in the sun, and Daniel Levy gets a speech that kind of saves the film at a tipping point.

I must say though: I wanted to punch Harper in her stupid face. She is a terrible romantic partner, abandoning or betraying Abby throughout the film and dissembling her entire identity to everyone else in a way that seems absurd for a grown woman in 2020. Run away, Kristen. Perhaps with Aubrey Plaza, whom you have more chemistry with. But there I go shipping and aligning myself with characters, which only proves that this is an effective romantic comedy.

49. The Way Back (Gavin O’Connor)- Patient but misshapen, The Way Back does just enough to overcome the cliches that are sort of unavoidable considering the genre. (I can't get enough of the parent character who, for no good reason, doesn't take his son's success seriously. "Scholarship? What he's gotta do is put his nose in them books! That's why I don't go to his games. [continues moving boxes while not looking at the other character] Now if you'll excuse me while I wait four scenes before showing up at a game to prove that I'm proud of him after all...")

What the movie gets really right or really wrong in the details about coaching and addiction is a total crap-shoot. But maybe I've said too much already.

48. The Whistlers (Corneliu Porumboiu)- Porumboiu is a real artist who seems to be interpreting how much surveillance we're willing to acknowledge and accept, but I won't pretend to have understood much of the plot, the chapters or which are told out of order. Sometimes the structure works--the beguiling, contextless "high-class hooker" sequence--but I often wondered if the film was impenetrable in the way that Porumboiu wanted it to be or impenetrable in the way he didn't.

To tell you the truth, the experience kind of depressed me because I know that, in my younger days, this film is the type of thing that I would re-watch, possibly with the chronology righted, knowing that it is worth understanding fully. But I have two small children, and I'm exhausted all the time, and I kind of thought I should get some credit for still trying to catch up with Romanian crime movies in the first place.

47. Borat Subsequent Moviefilm (Jason Woliner)- I laughed too much to get overly critical, but the film is so episodic and contrived that it's kind of exhausting by the end--even though it's achieving most of its goals. Maybe Borat hasn't changed, but the way our citizens own their ugliness has.

46. First Cow (Kelly Reichardt)- Despite how little happens in the first forty minutes, First Cow is a thoughtful capitalism parable. Even though it takes about forty minutes to get going, the friendship between Cookie and King-Lu is natural and incisive. Like Reichardt's other work, the film's modest premise unfolds quite gracefully, except for in the first forty minutes, which are uneventful.

45. Les Miserables (Ladj Ly)- I loved parts of the film--the disorienting, claustrophobic opening or the quick look at the police officers' home lives, for example. But I'm not sure that it does anything very well. The needle the film tries to thread between realism and theater didn't gel for me. The ending, which is ambiguous in all of the wrong ways, chooses the theatrical. (If I'm being honest, my expectations were built up by Les Miserables' Jury Prize at Cannes, and it's a bit superficial to be in that company.)

If nothing else, it's always helpful to see how another country's worst case scenario in law enforcement would look pretty good over here.

44. Bad Education (Cory Finley)- The film feels too locked-down and small at the beginning, so intent on developing the protagonist neutrally that even the audience isn't aware of his secrets. So when he faces consequences for those secrets, there's a disconnect. Part of tragedy is seeing the doom coming, right?

When it opens up, however, it's empathetic and subtle, full of a dry irony that Finley is already specializing in after only one other feature. Geraldine Viswanathan and Allison Janney get across a lot of interiority that is not on the page.

43. The Trip to Greece (Michael Winterbottom)- By the fourth installment, you know whether you're on board with the franchise. If you're asking "Is this all there is?" to Coogan and Brydon's bickering and impressions as they're served exotic food in picturesque settings, then this one won't sway you. If you're asking "Is this all there is?" about life, like they are, then I don't need to convince you.

I will say that The Trip to Spain seemed like an enervated inflection point, at which the squad could have packed it in. The Trip to Greece proves that they probably need to keep doing this until one of them dies, which has been the subtext all along.

42. Feels Good Man (Arthur Jones)- This documentary centers on innocent artist Matt Furie's helplessness as his Pepe the Frog character gets hijacked by the alt-right. It gets the hard things right. It's able to, quite comprehensively, trace a connection from 4Chan's use of Pepe the Frog to Donald Trump's near-assuming of Pepe's ironic deniability. Director Arthur Jones seems to understand the machinations of the alt-right, and he articulates them chillingly.

The easy thing, making us connect to Furie, is less successful. The film spends way too much time setting up his story, and it makes him look naive as it pits him against Alex Jones in the final third. Still, the film is a quick ninety-two minutes, and the highs are pretty high.

41. The Old Guard (Gina Prince-Bythewood)- Some of the world-building and backstory are handled quite elegantly. The relationships actually do feel centuries old through specific details, and the immortal conceit comes together for an innovative final action sequence.

Visually and musically though, the film feels flat in a way that Prince-Bythewood's other films do not. I blame Netflix specs. KiKi Layne, who tanked If Beale Street Could Talk for me, nearly ruins this too with the child-actory way that she stresses one word per line. Especially in relief with one of our more effortless actresses, Layne is distracting.

40. The Trial of the Chicago 7 (Aaron Sorkin)- Whenever Sacha Baron Cohen's Abbie Hoffman opens his mouth, the other defendants brace themselves for his dismissive vulgarity. Even when it's going to hurt him, he can't help but shoot off at the mouth. Of course, he reveals his passionate and intelligent depths as the trial goes on. The character is the one that Sorkin's screenplay seems the most endeared to: In the same way that Hoffman can't help but be Hoffman, Sorkin can't help but be Sorkin. Maybe we don't need a speech there; maybe we don't have to stretch past two hours; maybe a bon mot diffuses the tension. But we know exactly what to expect by now. The film is relevant, astute, witty, benevolent, and, of course, in love with itself. There are a handful of scenes here that are perfect, so I feel bad for qualifying so much.

A smaller point: Daniel Pemberton has done great work in the past (Motherless Brooklyn, King Arthur, The Man from U.N.C.L.E.), but the first sequence is especially marred by his sterile soft-rock approach.

GOOD MOVIES

39. Time (Garrett Bradley)- The key to Time is that it provides very little context. Why the patriarch of this family is serving sixty years in prison is sort of besides the point philosophically. His wife and sons have to move on without him, and the tragedy baked into that fact eclipses any notion of what he "deserved." Feeling the weight of time as we switch back and forth between a kid talking about his first day of kindergarten and that same kid graduating from dentistry school is all the context we need. Time's presentation can be quite sumptuous: The drone shot of Angola makes its buildings look like crosses. Or is it X's?

At the same time, I need some context. When director Garrett Bradley withholds the reason Robert's in prison, and when she really withholds that Fox took a plea and served twelve years, you start to see the strings a bit. You could argue that knowing so little about why, all of a sudden, Robert can be on parole puts you into the same confused shoes as the family, but it feels manipulative to me. The film is preaching to the choir as far as criminal justice goes, which is fine, but I want it to have the confidence to tell its story above board.

38. Bloody Nose, Empty Pockets (Turner Ross and Bill Ross IV)- I have a barfly friend whom I see maybe once a year. When we first set up a time to meet, I kind of dread it and wonder what we'll have to talk about. Once we do get together, we trip on each other's words a bit, fumbling around with the rhythm of conversation that we mastered decades ago. He makes some kind of joke that could have been appropriate then but isn't now.

By the end of the day, hours later, we're hugging and maybe crying as we promise each other that we won't wait as long next time.

That's the exact same journey that I went on with this film.

37. Underwater (William Eubank)- Underwater is a story that you've seen before, but it's told with great confidence and economy. I looked up at twelve minutes and couldn't believe the whole table had been set. Kristen plays Ripley and projects a smart, benevolent poise.

36. The Lodge (Veronika Franz and Severin Fiala)- I prefer the grounded, manicured first half to the more fantastic second half. The craziness of the latter is only possible through the hard work of the former though. As with Fiala and Franz's previous feature, the visual rhymes and motifs get incorporated into the soup so carefully that you don't realize it until they overwhelm you in their bleak glory.

Small note: Alicia Silverstone, the male lead's first wife, and Riley Keough, his new partner, look sort of similar. I always think that's a nice note: "I could see how he would go for her."

35. Miss Americana (Lana Wilson)- I liked it when I saw it as a portrait of a person whose life is largely decided for her but is trying to carve out personal spaces within that hamster wheel. I loved it when I realized that describes most successful people in their twenties.

34. Sound of Metal (Darius Marder)- Riz Ahmed is showing up on all of the best performances of the year lists, but Sound of Metal isn't in anyone's top ten films of the year. That's about right. Ahmed's is a quiet, stubborn performance that I wish was in service of more than the straight line that we've seen before.

In two big scenes, there's this trick that Ahmed does, a piecing together of consequences with his eyes, as if he's moving through a flow chart in real time. In both cases, the character seems locked out and a little slower than he should be, which is, of course, why he's facing the consequences in the first place. To be charitable to a film that was a bit of a grind, it did make me notice a thing a guy did with his eyes.

33. Pieces of a Woman (Kornel Mundruczo)- Usually when I leave acting showcases like this, I imagine the film without the Oscar-baiting speeches, but this is a movie that specializes in speeches. Pieces of a Woman is being judged, deservedly so, by the harrowing twenty-minute take that opens the film, which is as indulgent as it is necessary. But if the unbroken take provides the "what," then the speeches provide the "why."

This is a film about reclaiming one's body when it rebels against you and when other people seek ownership of it. Without the Ellen Burstyn "lift your head" speech or the Vanessa Kirby show-stopper in the courtroom, I'm not sure any of that comes across.

I do think the film lets us off the hook a bit with the LaBoeuf character, in the sense that it gives us reasons to dislike him when it would be more compelling if he had done nothing wrong. Does his half-remembering of the White Stripes count as a speech?

32. Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom (George C. Wolfe)- This is such a play, not only in the locked-down location but also through nearly every storytelling convention: "Where are the two most interesting characters? Oh, running late? They'll enter separately in animated fashion?" But, to use the type of phrase that the characters might, "Don't hate the player; hate the game."

Perhaps the most theatrical note in this treatise on the commodification of expression is the way that, two or three times, the proceedings stop in their tracks for the piece to declare loudly what it's about. In one of those clear-outs, Boseman, who looks distractingly sick, delivers an unforgettable monologue that transports the audience into his character's fragile, haunted mind. He and Viola Davis are so good that the film sort of buckles under their weight, unsure of how to transition out of those spotlight moments and pretend that the story can start back up. Whatever they're doing is more interesting than what's being achieved overall.

31. Another Round (Thomas Vinterberg)- It's definitely the film that Vinterberg wanted to make, but despite what I think is a quietly shattering performance from Mikkelsen, Another Round moves in a bit too much of a straight line to grab me fully. The joyous final minutes hint at where it could have gone, as do pockets of Vinterberg's filmography, which seems newly tethered to realism in a way that I don't like. The best sequences are the wildest ones, like the uproarious trip to the grocery store for fresh cod, so I don't know why so much of it takes place in tiny hallways at magic hour. I give the inevitable American remake* permission to use these notes.

*- Just spitballing here. Martin: Will Ferrell, Nikolaj (Nick): Ben Stiller, Tommy: Owen Wilson, Peter: Craig Robinson

30. The Invisible Man (Leigh Whannell)- Exactly what I wanted. Exactly what I needed.

I think a less conclusive finale would have been better, but what a model of high-concept escalation. This is the movie people convinced me Whannell's Upgrade was.

29. On the Rocks (Sofia Coppola)- Slight until the Mexican sojourn, which expands the scope and makes the film even more psychosexual than before. At times it feels as if Coppola is actively simplifying, rather than diving into the race and privilege questions that the Murray character all but demands.

As for Murray, is the film 50% worse without him? 70%? I don't know if you can run in supporting categories if you're the whole reason the film exists.

28. Mangrove (Steve McQueen)- The first part of the film seemed repetitive and broad to me. But once it settled in as a courtroom drama, the characterization became more shaded, and the filmmaking itself seemed more fluid. I ended up being quite outraged and inspired.

27. Shirley (Josephine Decker)- Josephine Decker emerges as a real stylist here, changing her foggy, impressionistic approach not one bit with a little more budget. Period piece and established actors be damned--this is still as much of a reeling fever dream as Madeline's Madeline. Both pieces are a bit too repetitive and nasty for my taste, but I respect the technique.

Here's my mandatory "Elisabeth Moss is the best" paragraph. While watching her performance as Shirley Jackson, I thought about her most famous role as Peggy on Mad Men, whose inertia and need to prove herself tied her into confidence knots. Shirley is almost the opposite: paralyzed by her worldview, certain of her talent, rejecting any empathy. If Moss can inhabit both characters so convincingly, she can do anything.

26. An American Pickle (Brandon Trost)- An American Pickle is the rare comedy that could actually use five or ten extra minutes, but it's a surprisingly heartfelt and wholesome stretch for Rogen, who is earnest in the lead roles.

25. The King of Staten Island (Judd Apatow)- At two hours and fifteen minutes, The King of Staten Island is probably the first Judd Apatow film that feels like the exact right length. For example, the baggy date scene between a gracious Bill Burr and a faux-dowdy Marisa Tomei is essential, the sort of widening of perspective that something like Trainwreck was missing.

It's Pete Davidson's movie, however, and though he has never been my cup of tea, I think he's actually quite powerful in his quiet moments. The movie probes some rare territory--a mentally ill man's suspicion that he is unlovable, a family's strategic myth-making out of respect for the dead. And when Davidson shows up at the firehouse an hour and fifteen minutes in, it feels as if we've built to a last resort.

24. Swallow (Carlo Mirabella-Davis)- The tricky part of this film is communicating Hunter's despair, letting her isolation mount, but still keeping her opaque. It takes a lot of visual discipline to do that, and Claudio Mirabella-Davis is up to the task. This ends up being a much more sympathetic, expressive movie than the plot description might suggest.

(In the tie dispute, Hunter and Richie are both wrong. That type of silk--I couldn't tell how pebbled it was, but it's probably a barathea weave-- shouldn't be ironed directly, but it doesn't have to be steamed. On a low setting, you could iron the back of the tie and be fine.)

23. The Vast of Night (Andrew Patterson)- I wanted a bit more "there" there; The film goes exactly where I thought it would, and there isn't enough humor for my taste. (The predictability might be a feature, not a bug, since the film is positioned as an episode of a well-worn Twilight Zone-esque show.)

But from a directorial standpoint, this is quite a promising debut. Patterson knows when to lock down or use silence--he even cuts to black to force us to listen more closely to a monologue. But he also knows when to fill the silence. There's a minute or so when Everett is spooling tape, and he and Fay make small talk about their hopes for the future, developing the characters' personalities in what could have been just mechanics. It's also a refreshingly earnest film. No one is winking at the '50s setting.

I'm tempted to write, "If Andrew Patterson can make this with $1 million, just imagine what he can do with $30 million." But maybe people like Shane Carruth have taught us that Patterson is better off pinching pennies in Texas and following his own muse.

22. Martin Eden (Pietro Marcello)- At first this film, adapted from a picaresque novel by Jack London, seemed as if it was hitting the marks of the genre. "He's going from job to job and meeting dudes who are shaping his worldview now." But the film, shot in lustrous Super 16, won me over as it owned the trappings of this type of story, forming a character who is a product of his environment even as he transcends it. By the end, I really felt the weight of time.

You want to talk about something that works better in novels than films though? When a passionate, independent protagonist insists that a woman is the love of his life, despite the fact that she's whatever Italians call a wet blanket. She's rich, but Martin doesn't care about her money. He hates her family and friends, and she refuses to accept him or his life pursuits. She's pretty but not even as pretty as the waitress they discuss. Tell me what I'm missing here. There's archetype, and there's incoherence.

21. Bacurau (Kleber Mendonca Filho and Juliano Dornelles)- Certain images from this adventurous film will stick with me, but I got worn out after the hard reset halfway through. As entranced as I was by the mystery of the first half, I think this blood-soaked ensemble is better at asking questions than it is at answering them.

20. Let Them All Talk (Steven Soderbergh)- The initial appeal of this movie might be "Look at these wonderful actresses in their seventies getting a movie all to themselves." And the film is an interesting portrait of ladies taking stock of relationships that have spanned decades. But Soderbergh and Eisenberg handle the twentysomething Lucas Hedges character with the same openness and empathy. His early reasoning for going on the trip is that he wants to learn from older women, and Hedges nails the puppy-dog quality of a young man who would believe that. Especially in the scenes of aspirational romance, he's sweet and earnest as he brushes his hair out of his face.

Streep plays Alice Hughes, a serious author of literary fiction, and she crosses paths with Kelvin Kranz, a grinder of airport thrillers. In all of the right ways, Let Them All Talk toes the line between those two stances as an entertaining, jaunty experiment that also shoulders subtextual weight. If nothing else, it's easy to see why a cruise ship's counterfeit opulence, its straight lines at a lean, would be visually engaging to Soderbergh. You can't have a return to form if your form is constantly evolving.

19. Dick Johnson Is Dead (Kirsten Johnson)- Understandably, I don't find the subject as interesting as his own daughter does, and large swaths of this film are unsure of what they're trying to say. But that's sort of the point, and the active wrestling that the film engages in with death ultimately pays off in a transcendent moment. The jaw-dropping ending is something that only non-fiction film can achieve, and Johnson's whole career is about the search for that sort of serendipity.

18. Da 5 Bloods (Spike Lee)- Delroy Lindo is a live-wire, but his character is the only one of the principals who is examined with the psychological depth I was hoping for. The first half, with all of its present-tense flourishes, promises more than the gunfights of the second half can deliver. When the film is cooking though, it's chock full of surprises, provocations, and pride.

17. Never Rarely Sometimes Always (Eliza Hittmann)- Very quickly, Eliza Hittmann has established herself as an astute, empathetic director with an eye for discovering new talent. I hope that she gets to make fifty more movies in which she objectively follows laconic young people. But I wanted to like this one more than I did. The approach is so neutral that it's almost flat to me, lacking the arc and catharsis of her previous film, Beach Rats. I still appreciate her restraint though.

GREAT MOVIES

16. Young Ahmed (Jean-Pierre Dardenne and Luc Dardenne)- I don't think the Dardennes have made a bad movie yet, and I'm glad they turned away from the slight genre dipping of The Unknown Girl, the closest to bad that they got. Young Ahmed is a lean, daring return to form.

Instead of following an average person, as they normally do, the Dardenne Brothers follow an extremist, and the objectivity that usually generates pathos now serves to present ambiguity. Ahmed says that he is changing, that he regrets his actions, but we never know how much of his stance is a put-on. I found myself wanting him to reform, more involved than I usually am in these slices of life. Part of it is that Idir Ben Addi looks like such a normal, young kid, and the Ahmed character has most of the qualities that we say we want in young people: principles, commitment, self-worth, reflection. So it's that much more destructive when those qualities are used against him and against his fellow man.

15. World of Tomorrow Episode Three: The Absent Destinations of David Prime (Don Hertzfeldt)- My dad, a man whom I love but will never understand, has dismissed modern music before by claiming that there are only so many combinations of chords. To him, it's almost impossible to do something new. Of course, this is the type of thing that an uncreative person would say--a person not only incapable of hearing the chords that combine notes but also unwilling to hear the space between the notes. (And obviously, that's the take of a person who doesn't understand that, originality be damned, some people just have to create.)

Anyway, that attitude creeps into my own thinking more than I would like, but then I watch something as wholly original as World of Tomorrow Episode Three. The series has always been a way to pile sci-fi ideas on top of each other to prove the essential truths of being and loving. And this one, even though it achieves less of a sense of yearning than its predecessor, offers even more devices to chew on. Take, for example, the idea that Emily sends her message from the future, so David's primitive technology can barely handle it. In order to move forward with its sophistication, he has to delete any extraneous skills for the sake of computer memory. So out of trust for this person who loves him, he has to weigh whether his own breathing or walking can be uninstalled as a sacrifice for her. I thought that we might have been done describing love, but there it is, a new metaphor. Mixing futurism with stick figures to get at the most pure drive possible gave us something new. It's called art, Dad.

14. On the Record (Kirby Dick and Amy Ziering)- We don't call subjects of documentaries "stars" for obvious reasons, but Drew Dixon kind of is one. Her honesty and wisdom tell a complete story of the #MeToo movement. Kirby Dick and Amy Ziering take their time developing her background at first, not because we need to "gain sympathy" or "establish credibility" for a victim of sexual abuse, but because showing her talent and enthusiasm for hip-hop A&R makes it that much more tragic when her passion is extinguished. Hell, I just like the woman, so spending a half-hour on her rise was pleasurable in and of itself.

This is a gut-wrenching, fearless entry in what is becoming Dick and Ziering's raison d'etre, but its greatest quality is Dixon's composed reflection. She helped to establish a pattern of Russell Simmons's behavior, but she explains what happened to her in ways I had never heard before.

13. David Byrne’s American Utopia (Spike Lee)- I'm often impressed by the achievements that puzzle me: How did they pull that off? But I know exactly how David Byrne pulled off the impish but direct precision of American Utopia: a lot of hard work.

I can't blame Spike Lee for stealing a page from Demme's Stop Making Sense: He denies us a close-up of any audience members until two-thirds of the way through, when we get someone in absolute rapture.

12. One Night in Miami... (Regina King)- We've all cringed when a person of color is put into the position of speaking on behalf of his or her entire race. But the characters in One Night in Miami... live in that condition all the time and are constantly negotiating it. As Black public figures in 1964, they know that the consequences of their actions are different, bigger, than everyone else's. The charged conversations between Malcolm X and Sam Cooke are not about whether they can live normal lives. They're way past that. The stakes are closer to Sam Cooke arguing that his life's purpose aligns with the protection and elevation of African-Americans while Malcolm X argues that those pursuits should be the same thing. Late in the movie, Cassius Clay leaves the other men, a private conversation, to talk to reporters, a public conversation. But the film argues that everything these men do is always already public. They're the most powerful African-Americans in the country, but their lives are not their own. Or not only their own.

It's true that the first act has the clunkiness and artifice of a TV movie, but once the film settles into the motel room location and lets the characters feed off one another, it's gripping. It's kind of unfair for a movie to get this many scenes of Leslie Odom Jr. singing, but I'll take it.

11. Saint Frances (Alex Thompson)- Rilke wrote, "Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us." The characters' behavior in Saint Frances--all of these fully formed characters' behavior--made me think of that quotation. When they lash out at one another, even at their nastiest, the viewer has a window into how they're expressing pain they can't verbalize. The film is uneven in its subtlety, but it's a real showcase for screenwriter and star Kelly O'Sullivan, who is unflinching and dynamic in one of the best performances of the year. Somebody give her some of the attention we gave to Zach Braff for God's sake.

10. Boys State (Jesse Moss and Amanda McBaine)- This documentary is kind of a miracle from a logistical standpoint. From casting interviews beforehand, lots of editing afterwards, or sly note-taking once the conference began, McBaine and Moss happened to select the four principals who mattered the most at the convention, then found them in rooms full of dudes wearing the same tucked-in t-shirt. By the way, all of the action took place over the course of one week, and by definition, the important events are carved in half.

To call Boys State a microcosm of American politics is incorrect. These guys are forming platforms and voting in elections. What they're doing is American politics, so when they make the same compromises and mistakes that active politicians do, it produces dread and disappointment. So many of the boys are mimicking the political theater that they see on TV, and that sweaty sort of performance is going to make a Billy Mitchell out of this kid Ben Feinstein, and we'll be forced to reckon with how much we allow him to evolve as a person. This film is so precise, but what it proves is undeniably messy. Luckily, some of these seventeen-year-olds usher in hope for us all.

If nothing else, the film reveals the level to which we're all speaking in code.

9. The Nest (Sean Durkin)- In the first ten minutes or so of The Nest, the only real happy minutes, father and son are playing soccer in their quaint backyard, and the father cheats to score on a children's net before sliding on the grass to rub in his victory. An hour later, the son kicks the ball around by himself near a regulation goal on the family's massive property. The contrast is stark and obvious, as is the symbolism of the dead horse, but that doesn't mean it's not visually powerful or resonant.

Like Sean Durkin's earlier film, Martha Marcy May Marlene, the whole of The Nest is told with detail of novelistic scope and an elevation of the moment. A snippet of radio that mentions Ronald Reagan sets the time period, rather than a dateline. One kid saying "Thanks, Dad" and another kid saying, "Thanks, Rory" establishes a stepchild more elegantly than any other exposition might.

But this is also a movie that does not hide what it means. Characters usually say exactly what is on their minds, and motivations are always clear. For example, Allison smokes like a chimney, so her daughter's way of acting out is leaving butts on the window sill for her mother to find. (And mother and daughter both definitely "act out" their feelings.) On the other hand, Ben, Rory's biological son, is the character least like him, so these relationships aren't too directly parallel. Regardless, Durkin uses these trajectories to cast a pall of familial doom.

8. Sorry We Missed You (Sean Durkin)- Another precisely calibrated empathy machine from Ken Loach. The overwhelmed matriarch, Abby, is a caretaker, and she has to break up a Saturday dinner to rescue one of her clients, who wet herself because no one came to help her to the bathroom. The lady is embarrassed, and Abby calms her down by saying, "You mean more to me than you know." We know enough about Abby's circumstances to realize that it's sort of a lie, but it's a beautiful lie, told by a person who cares deeply but is not cared for.

Loach's central point is that the health of a family, something we think of as immutable and timeless, is directly dependent upon the modern industry that we use to destroy ourselves. He doesn't have to be "proven" relevant, and he didn't plan for Covid-19 to point to the fragility of the gig economy, but when you're right, you're right.

7. Lovers Rock (Steve McQueen)- swear to you I thought: "This is an impeccable depiction of a great house party. The only thing it's missing is the volatile dude who scares away all the girls." And then the volatile dude who scares away all the girls shows up.

In a year short on magic, there are two or three transcendent moments, but none of them can equal the whole crowd singing along to "Silly Games" way after the song has ended. Nothing else crystallizes the film's note of celebration: of music, of community, of safe spaces, of Black skin. I remember moments like that at house parties, and like all celebrations, they eventually make me sad.

6. Crip Camp: A Disability Revolution (Nicole Newnham and James Lebrecht)- I held off on this movie because I thought that I knew what it was. The setup was what I expected: A summer camp for the disabled in the late '60s takes on the spirit of the time and becomes a haven for people who have not felt agency, self-worth, or community anywhere else. But that's the right-place-right-time start of a story that takes these figures into the '80s as they fight for their rights.

If you're anything like my dumb ass, you know about 504 accommodations from the line on a college syllabus that promises equal treatment. If 2020 has taught us anything though, it's that rights are seized, not given, and this is the inspiring story of people who unified to demand what they deserved. Judy Heumann is a civil rights giant, but I'm ashamed to say I didn't know who she was before this film. If it were just a history lesson that wasn't taught in school, Crip Camp would still be valuable, but it's way more than that.

5. Palm Springs (Max Barbakow)- When explaining what is happening to them, Andy Samberg's Nyles twirls his hand at Cristin Milioti's Sara and says, "It's one of those infinite time-loop scenarios." Yeah, one of those. Armed with only a handful of fictional examples, she and the audience know exactly what he means, and the continually inventive screenplay by Andy Siara doesn't have to do any more explaining. In record time, the film accelerates into its premise, involves her, and sets up the conflict while avoiding the claustrophobia of even Groundhog Day. That economy is the strength that allows it to be as funny as it is. By being thrifty with the setup, the savings can go to, say, the couple crashing a plane into a fiery heap with no consequences.

In some accidental ways, this is, of course, a quarantine romance as well. Nyles and Sara frustratingly navigate the tedious wedding as if they are play-acting--which they sort of are--then they push through that sameness to grow for each other, realizing that dependency is not weakness. The best relationships are doing the same thing right now.

Although pointedly superficial--part of the point of why the couple is such a match--and secular--I think the notion of an afterlife would come up at least once--Palm Springs earns the sincerity that it gets around to. And for a movie ironic enough to have a character beg to be impaled so that he doesn't have to sit in traffic, that's no small feat.

4. The Assistant (Kitty Green)- A wonder of Bressonian objectivity and rich observation, The Assistant is the rare film that deals exclusively with emotional depth while not once explaining any emotions. One at a time, the scrape of the Kleenex box might not be so grating, the long hallway trek to the delivery guy might not be so tiring, but this movie gets at the details of how a job can destroy you in ways that add up until you can't even explain them.

3. Promising Young Woman (Emerald Fennell)- In her most incendiary and modern role, Carey Mulligan plays Cassie, which is short for Cassandra, that figure doomed to tell truths that no one else believes. The web-belted boogeyman who ruined her life is Al, short for Alexander, another Greek who is known for his conquests. The revenge story being told here--funny in its darkest moments, dark in its funniest moments--is tight on its surface levels, but it feels as if it's telling a story more archetypal and expansive than that too.

An exciting feature debut for its writer-director Emerald Fennell, the film goes wherever it dares. Its hero has a clear purpose, and it's not surprising that the script is willing to extinguish her anger halfway through. What is surprising is the way it renews and muddies her purpose as she comes into contact with half-a-dozen brilliant one- or two-scene performances. (Do you think Alfred Molina can pull off a lawyer who hates himself so much that he can't sleep? You would be right.)

Promising Young Woman delivers as an interrogation of double standards and rape culture, but in quiet ways it's also about our outsized trust in professionals and the notion that some trauma cannot be overcome.

INSTANT CLASSICS

2. Soul (Pete Docter)- When Pete Docter's Up came out, it represented a sort of coronation for Pixar: This was the one that adults could like unabashedly. The one with wordless sequences and dead children and Ed Asner in the lead. But watching it again this week with my daughter, I was surprised by how high-concept and cloying it could be. We choose not to remember the middle part with the goofy dog stuff.

Soul is what Up was supposed to be: honest, mature, stirring. And I don't mean to imply that a family film shouldn't make any concessions to children. But Soul, down to the title, never compromises its own ambition. Besides Coco, it's probably the most credible character study that Pixar has ever made, with all of Joe's growth earned the hard way. Besides Inside Out, it's probably the wittiest comedy that Pixar has ever made, bursting with unforced energy.

There's a twitter fascination going around about Dez, the pigeon-figured barber character whose scene has people gushing, "Crush my windpipe, king" or whatever. Maybe that's what twitter does now, but no one fantasized about any characters in Up. And I count that as progress.

1. I’m Thinking of Ending Things (Charlie Kaufman)- After hearing that our name-shifting protagonist moonlights as an artist, a no-nonsense David Thewlis offers, "I hope you're not an abstract artist." He prefers "paintings that look like photographs" over non-representational mumbo-jumbo. And as Jessie Buckley squirms to try to think of a polite way to talk back, you can tell that Charlie Kaufman has been in the crosshairs of this same conversation. This morose, scary, inscrutable, expressionist rumination is not what the Netflix description says it is at all, and it's going to bother nice people looking for a fun night in. Thank God.

The story goes that Steven Spielberg and George Lucas, when constructing Raiders of the Lost Ark, sought to craft a movie that was "only the good parts" with little of the clunky setup that distracted from action. What we have here is a Charlie Kaufman movie with only the Charlie Kaufman moments, less interested than ever before at holding one's hand. The biting humor is here, sometimes aimed at philistines like the David Thewlis character above, sometimes at the niceties that we insist upon. The lonely horror of everyday life is here, in the form of missed calls from oneself or the interruption of an inner monologue. Of course, communicating the overwhelming crush of time, both unknowable and familiar, is the raison d'etre.

A new pet motif seems to be the way that we don't even own our own knowledge. The Young Woman recites "Bonedog" by Eva H.D., which she claims/thinks she wrote, only to find Jake's book open to that page, next to a Pauline Kael book that contains a Woman Under the Influence review that she seems to have internalized later. When Jake muses about Wordsworth's "Lucy Poems," it starts as a way to pass the time, then it becomes a way to lord his education over her, then it becomes a compliment because the subject resembles her, then it becomes a way to let her know that, in the grand scheme of things, she isn't that special at all. This film jerks the viewer through a similar wintry cycle and leaves him with his own thoughts. It's not a pretty picture, but it doesn't look like anything else.

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ink-and-flame · 4 years

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Kinktober Day 5: Nukklebust Productions Presents

Kinktober Day 5 Prompts: Kneeling ~ Triple penetration ~ Video (being recorded) Fandom: Original (Auchendale Archives) Tags: exophilia, m/f, slight f/f, orgy, triple penetration, kneeling, video recording, pornography, group sex, anal plug, sex toys, Pairing:GoblinM/HumanF, GoblinM/ElfF, HumanF/ElfF

[Authors Note: This is purely self indulgent smut that I have written for my own personal enjoyment and it is loosely based on a dream I had a few weeks ago. I was torn between putting this in Warcraft or not and I decided to put it in the Auchendale universe so I can use Ember since I kind of fell in love with her, which was unintentional since I made her on a whim. Vyzzie was borrowed from a friend with permission.]

The owners of The Scarlet Eclipse had some very firm rules on photography and video being taken in the club. The top rule was that in general it wasnt allowed. This was to help enforce privacy rules and ensure that the people who came to the club felt safe. The exception to the rule was, of course, pornography. The owners had a relationship with a few directors in the industry and allowed some of their rooms to be used for photo shoots and film shoots as long as nothing got out of hand and it was kept quiet. The location was never allowed to be revealed.

There were limitations of course, no large productions, and only so many rooms could be rented out for this purpose. The club still needed to cater to its own clientele of course, and it opened up the opportunity for people to explore their own exhibitionist and voyeuristic fetishes. Once it became known, it was an open secret around the club. Privacy was still respected, but the owners invested in a remodel that turned a couple of the rooms into permanent filming areas. They could be accessed through a special door and from the outside and the area could be locked down if needed.

When not in use by professionals, the owners allowed club members to book the rooms for a fee and they would get a copy of the finished product for their own personal enjoyment. Some allowed their amateur films to be released online, most kept them private. VIP members of the club were allowed to use these areas for free with enough prior notice. As it was, there was a waiting list, and sometimes it could take a few months to gain access to one of the rooms, especially if you needed a specific one.

The club owners had made it easy to check the availability of the rooms online, and there was a link to the waiting list. Anyone already on it could also check their place in the queue. Vyzzie had been checking every day for the last few weeks to see if his request had been bumped up in the queue. He had paid extra and used his friends VIP access to cut in line as much as he could. He was eager to do the scene and had been making preparations for almost two months now. The preparations had to be changed multiple times already as people had backed out and Vyz knew the longer it took the harder it would be to do.

Thankfully his friend had promised not to back out and had even suggested bringing someone along so she wasn’t the only female in the scene. It meant they could do much more with what they had left and the plans for the scene had begun to change. It was shaping up to be one of his better ideas, he just had to make sure the people still on board stayed on board.

The idea had come about after a wild night with two chicks he didn’t really know well. He ended up getting kind of close to one of them and she had expressed a desire to have another threesome but with two guys instead. He knew someone that would be interested and it had been fun, but then they got to thinking, why not invite more people, and the idea developed into something that Vyz was quite eager for, as was his new friend Ember.

Vyzzie had promised that he would only invite people she trusted, and Ember offered to bring her elf friend from the first time. It was shaping up to be quite a scene and once it was settled the negotiations began and everything was put in place with an understanding of what was expected of everyone. Simple color codes would be used instead of safe words so that everyone could be on the same page and no one got lost or confused.

When the day finally came Vyz could barely contain his excitement. He had gone over the details with Ember so many times that they both decided to share control of the situation. It also lead to copious amounts of sex between the two of them as every time they discussed it the conversation would inevitably arouse one or both of them. They had pretty much fucked on every surface in Vyzzie’s apartment, including his roommate's bed. That one he wasn’t particularly proud of when it was discovered and he had to do a lot of apologizing to make up for it.

With Ember in tow and some luggage Vyz arrived at the club a few hours before the filming was going to start. This was pretty standard to give them time to set up, and get everyone ready. He was practically vibrating with excitement the goblin looking up at his human companion with mischievous violet eyes.

“Ok, so it’s gonna be an hour before the others show up. I thought we could get everything set up and go over the negotiations one last time. Make sure nothin essential god missed.” Vyz opened the door to the main room and dropped off his bags before peeking into the equipment room off to the side. It housed all the recording equipment, back up servers, everything they needed but it was empty. “Ok looks like the crew ain’t here yet. S’fine, gives us a bit more time.”

Ember moved around the room checking things out and setting her luggage near the back wall and out of the way. She could change later. For now the room needed some work. The bed would be plenty large enough for all of them, not much else in the room would make it into the shot, but it was still worth it to spruce up the room and make it look nice. Despite what they were going to be doing, Ember wanted it to have a soft feeling and she began digging through the chests full of props and accessories to see how they could alter the look and feel of the room.

“Whatcha got there dollface?” Vyz had slipped up behind Ember, placing a hand on her ass and peering into the chest she was digging through.

“I was hoping to find something to help the room look less plain and sterile. The bed is nice, its a good size. The furniture all matches and it looks ok. Has a bit of a hotel feel which might be on purpose, but I was kind of hoping for something a little different?” She looked at him and rolled her eyes when she felt him rubbing her ass. “You are getting awfully friendly there Vyzzie.”

“Yer my friend.” He quipped and pinched her. “Don’t worry. I remember. No attachments. Doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the benefits package.” Smirking he dug through the chest with a free hand, black claws catching on some fabric. “I trust your taste. I know we were only at your place once, but I liked it. Lots of lights, colors. Had that weird gothic rainbow vibe going. You got a unique style Em, that is for sure.”

“How about we change the lamps, throw up some lights on the wall, drape some fabric around and soften the whole room up a bit. Considering what we are going to be doing, it will be a really interesting contrast I think.” Ember pulled some sheer fabric from the chest and began draping it on the headboard.

“I like how you think. Let the room be soft, the actions hard.” Vyz helped change out the room decor to match her vision. It was getting close to when the others should start arriving. “Hey, uh.. Emmy? You know if you aren’t sure about this or need to change some stuff I will understand. You know that right?”

Ember laughed. “Emmy?” She stepped over to Vyz, running a hand through his dark blue hair. “Yeah Vyz. I know. I wouldn’t have agreed to this if I didn’t trust you.”

“I will make sure your boundaries ain’t crossed. I know ya got some hang ups and all that. Don’t want there to be any pressure in the moment to do anything you ain’t sure of. I know how it gets once a scene starts and ya get caught up in it. Don’t want that ta happen here.”

Ember nodded. “That is why I brought a precaution. I really don’t like anal, and I won’t be able to relax if I worry that it might happen, even accidentally. So I brought a plug with me to help. If something is already there that I am comfortable with, then nothing else can go in and I can relax. I know it sounds counter intuitive and it took me a long time to get to a point where I can even use it, but it actually helps and functions in a way that lets me maintain control over it.”

“Not weird, makes a lot of sense actually. You control its size, when you use it, and it prevents anyone you are with from just having an ‘oops’ moment or doin the whole ‘it's better to ask forgiveness than permission’ nonsense. I hear ya, I support it. Need any help or just some privacy?”

“I can go put it in myself, wont take me too long I prepared myself for it but didn’t want to have it in all day. Give me a few minutes to get ready if you want to finish the room?”

“Sure, no problem, I can get it done.” Vyz went back to putting the finishing touches on the room when the crew arrived.

They began setting up the cameras at the goblins' instruction and made sure all the equipment was well hidden so as to not ruin the scene. There would only be so many angles shot and the final product would time some time to edit and put together into something polished and finished, ready for release, but Vyz was fine with waiting.

He had initially thought to hire a scene director, someone to keep everyone on track, but instead chose to work through the scenario with everyone, set a basic structure, and then just let things happen naturally. He wanted it to be real, visceral, and that wouldn't happen if there was a script or strict direction to follow.

Ember came back into the room with nothing but a mask and some thigh high socks on. The masquerade mask was small, simple, and not too bulky. It would stay on easily, and leave her mouth and nose free. The thigh highs were a request from Vyz. The only other things she had on was special body make up that would hide her tattoos and dried down so it wouldn’t smear. She had practiced with it before, going through an intense sex scene to see how well it held up to sweat and other body fluids along with friction. It held up well enough that she was confident in being filmed. She knew her tattoos were recognizable enough that she just wasn’t willing to risk it since Vyz made it clear this wasn’t going to stay private.

The muscular goblin let out a low whistle when he saw Ember. The thigh high socks were perfect. A soft looking material, black, and they hugged her thighs in a way that made it clear they wouldn’t move. The mask was black with silver accents and it made her look elegant. “Damn, you sure do make a pretty picture there Em. So uh, when is Vela gonna arrive?”

“She should have already been here. I told her she needed to get here early to get ready. I hope everything is ok. Let me text her real fast.” Heading back to her bags to grab her phone Ember didn’t notice the door opening again.

The rest of the goblins arrived as a group. Vyz greeting his friends and acquaintances with a smile. “Glad ta see ya made it boys. Ember is in the back finishin up and we are just waitin on Velasara. I think you only met Ember though” Vyz commented to his friend.

Coming back out Ember paused to see a room full of goblins standing around. All eyes were suddenly on her and never before had she felt more like prey. The moment passed quickly but it was hard to shake as a few sets of eyes lingered.

“Here lemme introduce you. Ember you already know Krazz from the party. Those two are Riznik and Viznik, twins if it wasn’t obvious, and that is Zorblix.” Vyz finished the introductions.

“Just Blix.”

Ember nodded and waved. “I would appreciate it if my name wasn’t used during filming, if it is all the same.”

“Sure thing, not a problem. Anyone else?” Vyz knew that both women would be in masks, but he wasn’t sure about anyone else.”

“I’m good with not using names. We all wearing masks or just the girls?” Krazz rolled his shoulders and looked for a place to set down his bag. “I brought one with me just in case. No offence but I am not sure I want to be recognized.”

“We can just avoid names entirely if it helps. I can’t imagine there is gonna to be much talkin” Vyz chimed in, his accent sounding much thicker in comparison to his friend.

“I don’t really give a shit either way. Not my first rodeo, so it is all fine with me.” Blix moved off to the back of the room and began stripping.

There was a knock interrupting the conversation and the door slowly opened. “Hello? I am sorry I am late.” Vela stepped in looking a bit frazzled. “Sorry got caught up and it took me some time to get everything together. I hope I didn’t put us too far behind?”

“Nah, yer good, we ain’t even started.” Vyz waved the lithe elf over and gestured to the back. “Go get ready and we can do a final run through and just make sure everyone is on the same page before we begin.” Vyz moved back to the recording room and spoke to the staff there, making sure that they would be ready to go as soon as the group finished their preparations.

While Vyzzie was busy, the rest of the goblins stripped and got ready for the scene. The twins were engaged in a bout of rock paper scissors to decide who got which girl to start as they wanted some separation to start. Krazz slipped on his own mask, looking a bit like a corvid with the beak design. It was a little flashy for porn, but it went well with Ember's mask. He hoped that he would get a shot with the human at some point as he had been attracted to her since they met at a party Vyz had invited him to.

Blix was busy strapping on his harness and cock ring. Fully prepared for taking over should the others struggle with any part of the scene. Of all of them he had the most experience performing for the camera, he knew the best angles, how to position himself, and all the tricks needed to not blow his load too quickly. Considering how hot the girls were in this scene, those were some tricks he was going to have to utilize.

Velasara came back looking an almost striking opposite of Ember. Her thigh highs were white with ruffles, her mask had white feathers and delicate gold filigree. She was taller than Ember with a lithe and delicate frame and soft features. Comparatively her body was a bit more slender when compared to Ember's more generous curves. The contrast made the pair enticing to look upon and the goblins in the room struggled to remain professional.

Ember leaned up and tugged Vela down to whisper in a long ear. The tittering laugh from the elf filld the room as both women seemed quite amused about something. It made Vyz a little suspicious and he hoped that this wasn’t going to be something he needed to worry about later.

“Ok, so here is the scene. I figure it will be easier if we don’t all start at first. I was thinking the girls could have a solo scene together or with one other person involved, then we can introduce some others, or if we are worried about time, then maybe we all just start? Opinions?” Vyz was looking around at the people gathered and realized how this looked. He hadn’t meant to only invite goblins, that was how it worked out. With all the cancellations and rescheduling, this was the group he ended up with and looking at it objectively, this would probably end up in a fetish category when released, even if there wasn’t a ton of kink involved.

“Well are you looking to build a plot or not? Like do we want to have dialog, a wisp of a story, or just get to the fucking already?” Ember asked as she leaned into Vela

“Good question, uh, any thoughts, I know we ain’t got a ton of time. I booked us for the rest of the day, but gettin shots set up can eat into that, and we don’t really have a script. I kinda wanted this ta feel natural, a bit more amateur and spontaneous.” Vyz admitted.

“Eh, speaking as the one with experience here. Neither are going to work. It is too late to try and fudge a script and just jumpin in is going to get someone injured. I say let the girls warm each other up, that should also warm the rest of us up and get the mood set. I can tell first timers when I see em and there are some nervous faces in this group.” Blix walked up to Vyz and gestured to the setting. “Plus, with a setting like this, it just screams lesbian porno. So why not start that way? Then we transition into the spit roasting, the group sex, multiple penetration shots, all of that.” He shrugged and his eyes widened. “Oh, condoms? We doing condoms or creampies?”

“Creampies” Vyz interjected. “That is why this took so long. Everyone had to test clean and have alternative forms of birth control. We can switch to condoms if anyone is still uncomfortable with sloppy seconds or had some questionable interactions since getting tested.”

“Ok so it seems like we are ready. Vela, after you.” Ember gestured to the bed and smiled as her elvish friend climbed up on the bed. Ember followed staying on her hands and knees while Vela got situated.

“What the fuck is that?” Blix blurted out and both girls fell into hysterical laughter.

It took several moments for them to calm down enough for Ember to speak. “I have some hangups where anal sex is involved. I felt the only way I would be able to relax is to ensure that it couldn’t happen, even accidentally. Thus, an anal plug.”

“Ok, yeah, I get it, makes perfect sense. What I meant, was why is it flashing like a rave?”

Ember fell over laughing again and just shook her head, it took her a bit to compose herself. “Look, it is a thing with me. I never do anything even halfway normal. You see my hair. My house look like a goth and a unicorn got into a fight. I like bright shiny things and honestly with the lights on it shouldn’t even be that noticeable or a distraction. I set it to slow strobe and match the lights hanging on the wall above the bed.”

“Ok, alright. One more question. Where did you get it and how much?” Blix was laughing and shrugging at the stares he was getting. “What? I wanna add one to my collection ok?”

“Let's talk after. I can give you all the details.” Ember slid up next to Vela and gave her friend a gentle kiss.

Both women were clearly nervous to start and Vyz knew that the first several minutes of footage probably wouldn’t be used. Watching them slowly explore each other was a different kind of arousing entirely, and it was difficult not to get caught up in the moment and just be content with watching. The slide of their bodies together, the soft moans, the way the colors of their limited clothing contrasted, it was a truly beautiful sight. One that Vyz was loathe to interrupt, but knew he would have to if they were going to get to the point of the scene.

The others held back waiting for Vyz to give the signal, It was hard not to be entranced, watching the women together. Especially once it was clear that they forgot where they were and were simply focused on the pleasure. Vyz held off a bit longer, watching with a slow smile as the women rocked slowly together at first, then sped up. The sound of their shared orgasm rang through the room snapping the goblins out of the spell they had been under.

Ember lay next to Vela, her breathing slowing to normal as they nuzzled and kissed each other. Hands still exploring as they enjoyed the afterglow of their shared pleasure. Ember would have to remember this, maybe invite Vela over sometime to just see how things might work out between them. Up until this moment Ember was certain her elvish friend was straight, maybe that was not the case now and it was something worth exploring, only later.

The bed shifted slightly as Vyz hopped up on the bed, crawling over to Ember and nipping her shoulder and neck. Pulling her gently and slowly to another part of the bed. The only way this would work was with a bit more space between the woman. Krazz was next on the bed, slipping up next to Vela and stroking over her sides and hip, his hands slipping up to her breast, fingertips teasing over her nipple.

Riz and Blix joined Krazz by the elf, all of their touches light. Wanting to start slow, ease into it. Viz, was the last to join, slipping up next to Ember and Vyz, nuzzling at the human’s ample chest. Everything was slow to start, no one wanting to be the first to break the soft moment that had somehow been created. Vyz was the first to lose his battle with desire and pushed Ember onto her stomach, slipping a pillow under her hips and angling her face away from him.

It was simply impossible to resist her, the scent of her, the sight of her, Vyzzie buried his face against her nether lips and pushed his tongue in, tasting her depths. Lips crooked up in a half smile at the sound of her moans suddenly being muffled. He didn’t have to look to know what had just happened and he was excited at how much Ember seemed to be enjoying it. Cutting his oral exploration short, Vyzzie lifted up and angled himself behind her, pushing his hard cock against her slick opening. She was so wet, so much wetter than he had expected and found it was far easier to slide in that usual.

While the flashing light was a bit of a distraction, Vyz found it easier and easier to ignore the deeper he slid into Ember until he was balls deep and groaning. His claws dug into her skin as his control slipped for just a moment and he had to pause before thrusting. His ears twitched at the sounds coming from the other end of the bed and he risked a glance over at the elf. The sight was almost enough for him to lose it right there and he had to snap his gaze back down to Ember.

Vela was up on her knees, Riding Riz, with Blix behind her, and Krazz standing with a firm grip on her head as he thrust into her mouth. Blix was still gently preparing her with some lube and a finger while he encouraged Riz with a quiet voice to keep a slow pace and to gently stimulate her clit. Blix knew that increasing the elfs pleasure was going to keep her relaxed and make penetration much easier. The extra lube helped as well and he wanted to make sure that she was fully ready before even attempting penetration. His experience was why he was the one handling preparing her and subsequently the one to be granted the pleasure of having her that way.

Viz was careful, his hands resting on Ember’s head more than holding it as he thrust into her mouth. He was originally going to let her set the pace, and at first he did, but found that it just felt too good and he could not resist the urge to move his hips. He was focused, entirely on her and how it felt to be so far in her mouth and pushing into her throat. The feeling was unlike any other he had experienced, as this was his first time really trying anything with a human. He had a preference for orcish women, but now he wasn’t so sure that would be the case going forward. There was something softer, sweeter, more delicate about a human and he was eager to have his turn with the elf as well.

Ember’s eyes rolled back in her head as Vyz snapped his hips forward hitting that spot so deep that only he ever seemed to hit just right. The feel of someone both in her throat and fucking her was becoming overwhelming. It was everything she had wanted from this experience and a little more. She could tell Viz was going easy on her, and she tried to encourage him when he began thrusting into her mouth. Closing her eyes she swallowed around him, letting her throat constrict around the head of his cock making him moan. It clearly worked to erode at his control as his hips snapped forward suddenly. She opened her eyes and looked up at him, his expression was one of slight concern. She just nodded, hoping he understood.

It was pure heaven when Viz finally took the hint that she could handle it and threaded his fingers tighter in her hair, getting a good grip and tugging as he pushed his cock deeper into her throat. She was no longer giving him a blowjob, he was fucking her face, and her moans got louder and louder as she drew closer to release. The feel of her friend fucking her so hard and deep, his balls slapping against her clit as his sharp claws left little pinpricks of pain in her hips increased the sense of euphoria washing over her. Ember slipped into a more relaxed state, letting her body go slightly limp so that she could more easily be penetrated by both goblins. Soon her nose was pressed into the dark curls above Viz’s shaft as she felt his cock swell in her throat. A loud sharp moan from above her and the sudden heat in her throat let her know the goblin had reached climax.

Rope after rope of cum was pumped into her throat as Viz pulled out, some of his seed coating her mouth and lips, some hitting the mask as he fell back panting, clearly worried that he was choking her. With her airway free Ember could be better heard as she also reached climax almost the same time as Vyz did inside of her. The combined pleasure of dual penetration and stimulation was more than enough to send Ember over the edge hard. Vyz hunched over her back as he found his own release.

Vela was on edge as well with Krazz thrusting more firmly into her mouth while Blix had slowly pushed inside of her. The feeling over all her holes being filled was one she had never thought she would enjoy and was now worried she would become addicted to. Somehow Riz and Blix found a Rhythm that kept almost constant stimulation within her, an almost overwhelming sensation as she was filled beyond anything she had ever experienced before. Surprisingly Vela was the first to reach release, easily, as Riz had continued stimulating her clit while she rode him. Since they were not closed to finished, the goblins did not stop and continued to fuck the elf right through her first orgasm.

Blix helped Riz by taking over the clitoral stimulation so the other goblin could get a better grip on the elf to thrust deeper and faster up into her. Krazz kept his movements slow, despite wanting to just let go. He wanted to keep an eye on her to ensure that she remained ok, and he wanted to draw this out as much as possible. Vela was well on her way towards a second orgasm when Riz thrust up hard into her with a loud cry, his body shaking slightly as he emptied his seed inside of her. He could tell that Blix would probably be next and helped by reaching up and teasing Vela’s nipples to see if he could send the elf over the edge again.

Vela came almost at the same time as Blix who had snarled as he finally came, almost biting her and stopping himself at the last minute as he just pressed his forehead against her back and rode out his own pleasure while pumping his cum deep inside of her. The contractions of her body milking him for every drop he had as his grip on her remained tight. Krazz was the last to release, finally letting himself go and speeding up, pushing almost his full length into her throat with a loud cry. He almost fell over from the intense pleasure as he had unintentionally edged himself for the last bit of it.

Carefully the goblins pulled out of their partners and all that could be heard was the sound of light panting and breathing normalizing. Vyz was the first one to speak. “Ok swap? Who wants to swap.”

Krazz raised his hand. “I call your position.” The others laughed at how quickly he responded.

Blix shook his head. “I am good where I am if there are no complaints?”

“Nah, I’m good, I’ll swap.” Riz offered. “Unless you want to stay with Ember Vyz?”

“That would put you and your brother on the same girl, that ok?”

“I don’t care, as long as our balls don’t touch it ain’t gay right?” Viz offered as a joke, he new that gay wasn’t the problem in that scenario, but it wouldn’t be the first time they had shared.

Ember lost it a little bit at that and then so did Vela. The boys had to wait for the giggling to die down before new positions could be achieved. Krazz rolled Ember onto her side, moving the pillow.

“This ok?” He asked before positioning her leg up on his shoulder.

Ember nodded and tilted her head up at Vyzzie. She had expected him to take a turn with Vela, and maybe he would, the night was young and there was no reason that they wouldn’t swap positions a few more times, especially with some of the ideas Vyz had shared with her during planning. He was smiling at her, stroking her hair away from her mask and carefully wiping the cum from it. Ember realized, from the look in his eyes that they might need to have a conversation later. It was clear an attachment might be forming and she just wasn’t ready for another relationship. Something she hoped wouldn’t ruin the friendship they already had. Glancing down she could see the eager look in Krazz’s eyes as he gazed down at her, positioning himself against her cum soaked folds. Ok, strike that, maybe a conversation with Vyz could happen after she got him and Krazz alone sometime and had them fuck her absolutely senseless. She had a feeling this was going to be a bit of a wild ride and while she still could she glanced over to see Vela being re positioned, clear glee on her friends face, even with the mask there was no missing that expression.

The night was filled with the sounds of moans as the group quickly forgot the cameras and worked on trying as many different positions and combinations as they could before eventually collapsing in and exhausted heap and snuggling up together before the staff gently reminded them that closing time was less than an hour away.

Overall, the experience had been one that wouldn’t be easily forgotten and new friends had been made from the most unlikely of scenarios. They all agreed that this was something they would like to try again, maybe with a script and more elaborate costumes, but that was a conversation for a later date when everyone was clean and well rested.

#exophilia #goblin boyfriend #goblin x human #goblin x elf #human x elf #Auchendale Archives #Kinktober 2020

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