#the heavy handed plot

[caput-medusae]

redditors have the slightest amount of media comprehension challenge (impossible)

the amount of people who still cannot grasp that the Stranger is Gandalf truly baffles me. they have given us every visual and narrative clue possible and nerd ass fanboys are crying in the comments that he’s definitely a Blue Wizard because the actor has not yet turned directly to the camera and said: “I, Daniel Weyman, am playing the character of Gandalf in Amazon’s The Rings of Power.”

“but it doesn’t happen that way in the books!” they sob. No one cares!! it literally does not matter!!! this is the middle earth cinematic universe for god’s sake! it’s middle earth-616! it’s different from the books just like the PJ trilogy were different from the books!! go outside!!!

And then worse than that, they whine and cry about it being a “mystery box” or a “guessing game” - brother it can’t be a mystery box because it’s not a mystery!!!!! they already told you who the character was in the first season!!! they expected you to have the two brain cells needed to figure it out from the obvious narrative clues!!!!

i know it’s my fault for being on reddit in the first place, but i am genuinely going to lose my mind!!!

[4lph4kidz]

i was thinking about your dirk and hal poll and i want to mention that i think your concept for ink and iron where dirk creates hal from his reflection by enchanting a mirror is so cool 😌

thank you! hal's predicament and purpose within the canon narrative is so fascinating and i felt it was really important to find a way to explore what i find most interesting with him. i can't take full credit for the concept though i took inspiration from a few placees (one of my friends pitched the idea of the mirror accidentally dumping him onto jake's doorstop for example) but overall i think the idea is very fun and i'm really excited to write more hal stuff!!! also i'm going to take the opportunity to share this oldish doodle i found:

the mispelling of angel as angle was NOT intentional (<- dyslexia haver) but it probably explains a lot. he's pointy

[still-breathing-au-p3r]

[continued from here] [first post for October 18th]

Akihiko pulls a long, slow breath in and out through his nose. He feels both relaxed and energized, loose-limbed and pleasantly charged the way he does after a good warm up. His eyes have even drifted closed at some point.

So that’s what a second awakening is like, huh? He wouldn’t have guessed it would be so…comfortable. The brand new presence in the back of his head is unmistakably different from Polydeuces, but just as effortlessly familiar. Had it been the same way for Amada?

He opens his eyes to find Shinji staring at nothing in particular, his mouth slack with surprise. As Akihiko watches, his gaze refocuses but loses none of its astonishment as it snaps to meet Akihiko’s own.

“...Aki, what the hell was that?” 

For a moment, Akihiko isn’t certain what he’s talking about. The only thing he can think of is… “Wait,” he replies. “You saw it too?” Were second awakenings actually visible to everyone? Or maybe just to Persona users? And outside of the Dark Hour, too–

“I–” Shinji clutches loosely at the front of his hospital gown with his free hand. He drops his gaze again, his brow furrowed in concentration, eyes darting back and forth like he’s trying to examine the inside of his own heart. “Castor, he…”

Oh. Everything suddenly clicks into place. It hadn’t been Akihiko’s awakening Shinji had seen.

“Yeah.” Akihiko is taken by surprise when the word comes out as a breathless laugh. “Me too. Polydeuces isn’t there anymore. It’s Cincinnatus now.”

Shinji’s mouth twitches upwards and he snorts softly. Akihiko suffers a moment of intense confusion before he realizes: mister-history-buff probably recognizes the name. He wonders what it says about him that Shinji finds funny; he’ll have to remember to look it up when he gets the chance.

The amusement slides from Shinji’s expression, replaced with befuddled concentration. His fingers curl and uncurl in the fabric over his chest. His other hand– the one still clasped solidly with Akihiko’s– flexes too. It doesn’t seem like he even realizes he’s doing it.

“Hey,” Akihiko murmurs, concerned. He’d been so caught up in how easy his own re-awakening had been that he’d just assumed it had gone the same for Shinji, and he probably shouldn’t have. After all, Shinji’s first awakening to Castor hadn’t exactly been…a peaceful event. He leans in a little closer and gives Shinji’s hand a brief squeeze. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothin’s wrong, that just felt–” Shinji’s jaw works silently for a moment. “So damn weird. It’s not– It isn’t bad, but it’s–”

“It’s a lot.”

“Yeah, no shit.” Shinji runs a hand through his hair, a nervous habit he’s never been able to break even after he started wearing a hat nearly twenty-four-seven (his other hand still hasn’t let go of Akihiko’s, and the realization hits like a bolt of giddy adrenaline). “I ain’t a fan of not knowin’ why it happened either.” 

“It happened to Amada too,” Akihiko says. “When he told us about it, Mitsuru said that it was something there had been theories about for a while, but that they’d never actually seen happen before. The idea is that if a person changes enough, their Persona can change too. She called it a ‘second awakening’.”

“Huh…” Shinji laughs. Just once, and the sound is thin and utterly exhausted. “I guess they recognized the promise we made too,” he says, slanting a tired, crooked smile at Akihiko.

It’s hard to breathe suddenly, like the tide of warm gratitude and affection that floods his chest is taking up all the space usually reserved for his lungs. He swallows past the knot in his throat.

“Yeah, I– I-I think they did.” Akihiko’s voice rushes out in a thick, emotional whisper.

His grip on Shinji’s hand tightens and the movement tugs Akihiko another centimeter forward. It strikes him now, for the first time, that he’s been leaning in like this for a while now. 

It strikes him, as well, just how little distance there is between him and Shinji’s smiling mouth– near enough to feel the warmth radiating from his skin. 

It would take so little effort to close that gap entirely, wouldn’t it?

The thought makes his jaw ache and his breath skip in his chest.

…What thought would that be, exactly? 

What the hell is he thinking? 

What the hell is he doing–?!

He can’t just–

He can’t.

He’s still leaning in closer to Shinji as though drawn by gravity, but he wrenches his attention away from the stupid, catastrophic impulse that had almost overcome him.

Instead Akihiko presses his forehead to Shinji’s and closes his eyes.

It’s an old, familiar gesture between them, and the wave of comfort it brings is so intense that it even overpowers (most of) his mortification, leaving him feeling very close to serene. 

Shinji sighs, long and relaxed, just as soothed by the gesture as Akihiko is. Mercifully, he says nothing about what Akihiko had nearly done.

He’ll think about that narrowly averted disaster later.

[firestorm09890]

FUCK what I said about the majority of significant changes to dialogue in Re:CoM being to adjust Axel's characterization, the most egregious change is actually this

(GBA CoM)

(Re:CoM)

if I had to guess, the reason for this change was because in GBA CoM, The Superior was a spooky, unknown being at the head of this Organization we had very little knowledge on, and for Vexen, the guy who runs his mouth constantly about how much better he is than the others, to be terrified of him, he must be some pretty scary dude. But then after kh2 we know him, it's Xemnas, he's very dramatic, he likes to talk to the moon, and the effect of your mind filling in the gaps about what "The Superior" must be like is gone. So it wasn't really necessary anymore, right?

(rest under cut because it's long)

Except... the way they changed it is so weird. In the GBA version, what's happening is pretty clear:

Marluxia tells Vexen that his project is a failure

Vexen demonstrates that he does not give a shit about Marluxia's opinion

he does care very much about The Superior's opinion, though, and Marluxia uses this to blackmail him into eliminating Sora- an action which is nonsensical, as the entire point of what they're doing needs Sora alive, making it clear to everyone in the room that he is deliberately sending Vexen to die

and then after that, when Vexen shows up to fight Sora, he goes "if you want to fight me for real you've gotta do it in the memories from the other side of your heart lol bye" and Sora goes "huh? other side?" and then it cuts to a scene on the top floor:

and then this gets more into subtext but here, Vexen has realized he's totally fucked and his only hope is to mess directly with Marluxia's plans (well, they were the Organization's plans, but it's pretty obvious by now Marluxia's abusing his power for his own purposes) by giving Sora more information than he should know. This does get the traitor gang worried enough to send Axel to go kill him (as opposed to just letting Sora take care of him, which was presumably the original plan)- he very specifically cuts Vexen off to keep him from saying too much (this is retained between the original and the remake)

Anyway, what happens in Re:CoM sort of follows the same order of events, but everything is changed slightly in a way that just makes things more confusing.

Marluxia tells Vexen his project is a failure and Vexen demonstrates that he doesn't give a shit about Marluxia's opinion, as before

Marluxia threatens Vexen with a weapon, rather than threatening to tell the Superior

this, notably, does not seem to faze Vexen very much. he continues to run his mouth while having the scythe pointed at him.

Xemnas is still leveraged- Marluxia points out it was the Superior who entrusted him with the castle

...even though reasonably Vexen would already be aware of this, and has still demonstrated that he has zero respect for Marluxia despite it

the lines about betraying the Organization being a capital crime are retained, probably because it's super relevant later, but then that line of thinking is abandoned in favor of Marluxia and Larxene just taunting Vexen instead

The part where Marluxia says "do it. you won't" could be seen as a sort of threat... if not for Axel's line: "You give a challenge like that to Vexen and he'll seriously want to eliminate Sora." It frames it all as though Vexen went to fight Sora out of some sort of pride.

And look, Vexen may have a temper and a superiority complex, but he's not stupid. They're obviously baiting him. Plus, what happened to him seeing himself as above the others and countering things he doesn't like with "well actually I'm higher ranked than you and also you're an idiot"? Is he that insecure in his fighting capabilities? I could deal with characterization changes doing him dirty if it didn't also make no sense in the context of the plot.

So now we have Vexen going to try to kill Sora, something that really makes no sense to do, out of pride. What was the purpose of sending Sora to Twilight Town? Also pride, over the fact that he managed to get that information? Giving the writing the benefit of the doubt, I could say that these nonsensical actions can be explained as evidence that Nobodies can have hearts and people with hearts do strange and rash things, but that just feels like a reach, which is bad because what they had in GBA CoM worked perfectly fine and made sense without any reaching for the "idk emotions make you do strange things" explanation.

It continues. After Vexen gives Sora the Twilight Town card in Re:CoM and Sora wonders about what the "other side" means, this is that version of the conversation the top floor members have:

...what? "If Sora disappears, that would mess up the Organization's plans"? what are you worried about? the only reason Sora would disappear is if Vexen killed him. there's no way they think Vexen being in Twilight Town would give him an advantage, right? they know he's a pathetic fighter. "Vexen has clearly committed a treasonous act against the Organization" HOW? HOW IS IT CLEAR? they don't express any worry about Sora learning too much, up until Axel says "I came to stop you from talking too much" when killing Vexen- and that being there makes it seem like they were worried about Sora learning to much, but if that's the case, why would they replace the perfectly serviceable lines in the above scene? it's just... baffling that they would want to lean into the narrative that Vexen going to kill Sora (which he'd been goaded into doing) is the problem here, because it just makes so little sense compared to what it was originally.

once again giving them the benefit of the doubt: Marluxia's real plan was to take over the Organization, and he saw an easy way to pick off one of the members, so he took it. the motive for stopping Vexen doesn't actually matter.

buuuuut it's the same as with Vexen earlier. Marluxia may be too self-absorbed and power-hungry to notice Axel is scheming against him, but he, too, is an intelligent man. he's plotted for a while, getting into Xemnas's good graces in order to be put in charge of the Castle. this is incredibly sloppy for him. I guess it could be said that getting so close to his goal would make him sloppy, but again, if they'd just left things the way they were in GBA CoM, I wouldn't even have to be saying this

in conclusion: GBA Chain of Memories' intra-Organization strife subplot is so tightly woven with calculated moves on all sides that Re:CoM changing certain things without taking into consideration the consequences makes certain parts of the plot fall flat and become far more confusing than in the original story

[valentronic]

“The real game will begin momentarily… Stay tuned :)”

Costas Mandylor as The Warden in Death Count(2022)

[starbuckaroo]

I think I would be happier w bucktommy all these episodes down the line if Tommy still interacted with or asked after Eddie. I know there’s a lot the show doesn’t put onscreen so there’s no reason why it couldn’t have plausibly happened or couldn’t still happen (and I hope it does), but Tommy was Eddie’s friend first! They hung out a lot!

And yet, since he got together with Buck, we haven’t gotten to see them interact.

Granted, there hasn’t been a lot of screen time for Tommy and that’s fine, it’s a short season w very little room to breathe. This isn’t some sort of angry anti bucktommy tirade. But it does make me just a tad uncomfortable the way things are at this moment. Bc it’s not a stretch to theorize that maybe Tommy was hoping things Eddie might go somewhere and when they didn’t, he tried with Buck. I don’t think that’s supported by the text, but it’s also not negated, either. Idk. It’s not a huge deal at the moment, just a little snag?

Listen I am a buck fan but I am an eddie fan!!!!!!! And I am so so sad for eddie this season it’s been rly fucking rough on him! Not like buck needs to change anything (except not be a jealous freak and lash out physically if he can’t use his words), like I said I’m here for bucktommy I think they’re great. But like. Where’s the awkward “hey how do we hang out now that you two make out sometimes” or whatever?? We deserve to see that tbh! It’s a more common issue in queer circles, that ppl have to slip in and out of romantic/platonic interactions when people partner up or break up. It’s also the first time either of them have dated anyone within the LAFD and so it’s the first time this could ever have even come up!

Idk man. Just I keep thinking about how happy eddie seemed when he was hanging out w Tommy and maybe it’s just bc that ep was meant to be from Buck’s pov but i don’t know what’s worse, thinking it WAS real and now he doesn’t get to have that friendship anymore or that it WASNT real and he was never actually having that good of a time.

MY REAL POINT is that anyone who WAS or IS a buddie shipper or anyone who likes Eddie at all has to acknowledge how important buck and eddie are to each other, right? Which means that in any relationship that either of them ever have, if they want it to be serious and have long term potential, they actually need to integrate their partner with their best friend.

Maybe this is too weird for some ppl? It’s always seemed like a given, like if there’s someone new and important in my life, I def want my best friend to meet them and like them bc I want us all to be able to spend time together! I don’t want to feel split between them all the time! And esp with Tommy already having connections with most of the 118/main cast, and particularly Eddie, it would make sense for us to see them interacting!

Idk. I’m probably wanting too much from my network tv show lol I just. I will literally never take bucktommy seriously as a pairing if they don’t manage to address the Eddie of it all. And not in a “address the fact that buck loves him” contrived jealousy nonsense. I mean address the fact that their lives are bound together! And it predates anyone that either of them will ever date! Plus imagine the character growth it would take for Buck to send Tommy to Thursday basketball with like a plate of cookies and orange slices or something but not show up himself. Be like “have fun with the boys, slap Eddie’s ass for me” or whatever 😂 I would believe Buck was finally on his way to being ready for a long term adult relationship if they managed that, is all I’m saying

[parlerenfleurs]

I'm perplexed by people who think Xue Yang could have redeemed himself given the opportunity.... It's a sentiment I see echoed a lot but it has no basis in the text or in simple logic.

The dude had plenty of opportunities to do it on his own before even meeting Xiao XingChen, when he had both a better material situation and protection from powerful sects. But sure, he was protected with the aim of making him do more bad things, and Jin GuangYao is a terrible frequentation to have if you want a chance to turn out better at some point in time, and also yeah, everyone knows emotional connection and genuine love are what truly nourishes the soul, so let's say he's a big brat bastard who needs a little more than that to grow up, and let it slide.

But then he ends up with Xiao XingChen. He ends up with him, the embodiment of pure-heartedness, with a miraculous blank slate because the dude is blind and doesn't have a clue who he is! That's the perfect opportunity to bask in the wonderful feeling of true kindness, and then of true affection, right? And what does he do? Not right away, mind you, no, he had the time to heal from his injury and dilly-dally about what to do next, he had plenty of time to make a different decision, to wait a bit more before making it, to stop being an evil asshole and sit down for five minutes. But no, what he does is, he tricks Xiao XingChen into killing innocent people. And he gets a huge kick out of doing it. AND he does it again, repeatedly, even after years have passed and they have truly bonded.

Like? I don't know what more people think he can get, as second chances go. He's a very fun villain but he is an irredeemable one. Of course, he feels love and care, in his own way, sure, yeah. Cool feelings, still manipulation and murder.

[chronicowboy]

seven sentence sunday

starting this today because i'm finally making progress with the neighbours au (which will be referred to as "the dilf next door" indefinitely) so accept my humblest of offerings:

"I'm Buck by the way," he offers his hand, and the boy shakes it quickly before grabbing back onto the fencepost for balance.

"That's a weird name," he says simply. Buck snorts.

"Its a nickname."

"Like the deer?" The boy quirks a curious eyebrow, and Buck grins.

"Technically, its because of my last name, but my friends tell me its because I walk like Bambi on ice," he stage-whispers.

"You do have long legs," the boy nods solemnly, and Buck can't help snorting again. He chews on his lip for a moment. "Dad says I'm not supposed to talk to strangers, and I'm definitely not supposed to tell them my name."

"Well, your dad sounds like a very smart man, but we aren't exactly strangers, are we? We're co-creators of Bee-Topia after all. And we're neighbours." The boy squints at him. "Plus, I'm a firefighter!"

"A firefighter?" He lights up. "My dad's training to be a firefighter!"

"No way!" Buck grins. "Small world."

"Christopher!" A distant voice shouts. "Dinner!"

"I'm Christopher," he sighs. "I have to go now."

"Nice to meet you, Christopher," Buck smiles at him. "And feel free to pop your head over the fence whenever you want. Can't guarantee I'll be here, but..."

"Nice to meet you, Buck." Christopher calls out as he climbs down.

When Buck finally makes it inside after finishing planting, its the first time the loneliness doesn't pounce on him.

if you want to be added to the taglist for more snippets and the fic when its finally done please let me know in the replies/tags

gonna tag a few people (but feel free to ignore) @diazass @poughkeepsies @henswilsons @danielsousa @diazly [also if you want to do sss go ahead and say i tagged you !!]

[jankwritten]

i think one of my biggest gripes with TSATS is the sentence structure and the way that things are phrased.

Sentence structure: the book is CONSTANTLY using ", and", or "then", or "but" instead of splitting up a phrase into two separate sentences. Once I noticed it, I couldn't stop noticing it. In some places it works fine, but right out the gate, as the first line of chapter one, it 1) caught my attention in a negative way and 2) felt immediately clunky and awkward.

The way that the book demonstrates action also feels unnatural and doesn't flow as well as it could. Things are described as happening "now", such as when Kayla takes her lolipop out of her mouth and holds it at her side, the book narrates it as "now holding the lolipop at her side". We didn't SEE that action occur, we're just being described the RESULT of the action, does that make sense? As a reader, you want to SEE the action, you want to SEE her tug the lolipop out of her mouth, see her hand hang by her side as her expression pinches with anxiety over the discussion. We don't want to just be told that "now" her lolipop is out of her mouth, y'know?

There are also sentences that just feel flat out unedited, phrases that have too many words for what they want to accomplish, or with a structure that doesn't make sense - like on page 56, the sentence "They raced up the steps to the platform, Nico easily outrunning his boyfriend, though that was mostly due to Will having to get his land legs again."

First of all - why are they running up the platform? In the previous line, where we're told their cab driver got them to the station with 6 minutes to spare, the specific choice of saying "to spare" makes it sound like there is plenty of time to make it to their train. In the sentences after, we even learn that Nico and Will wound up waiting for their train anyway, so, the fact that they're running when Will feels sick reads...weird, to me. If I was car sick, and then somebody forced me to run for no reason, I would not be a happy camper.

Second of all - The addition of the final third of the sentence, after the second comma, should be it's own phrase. It should be given it's own space, like "(though that was mostly because Will didn't have his land legs back yet)." because it's not important information, just an offhanded comment Nico is making.

Third of all - "though that was mostly due to" and "having to get his" are clunky and wordy. It could've just been "Nico easily outrunning his boyfriend, who didn't have his land legs back yet." It's a smoother sentence that doesn't get bogged down by the extra words.

And that's just one instance. This book is LOADED with moments like this, where action will get lost in a sentence's wordiness. The book tries to be quick and snappy, in Riordan's style, but it fails because it can't quite nail down the phrasing.

There are also moments where the only thing the characters are interacting with is each other, only grinning, grimacing, sighing, glancing at one another, etc etc, instead of doing actions while they speak. Fidgeting with their hands, shifting from side to side, looking away at their surroundings, that kind of stuff is how you convey a MOOD. Body language is important when writing character conversations!! Is somebody relaxed, or are their shoulders tensed up, arms folded across their chest with their muscles flexed, leaning back on one leg with their body halfway tilted away, as if they were ready to flee at a moment's notice? These are the kind of details that I'm missing in TSATS, the kind of things that feel like they're missing.

I also have a lot of gripes with the dialogue itself.

People don't talk like they do in TSATS. The content of what they're saying is realistic enough, sure, yeah, but the specific way that a lot of the dialogue is phrased? It doesn't feel natural. Try reading some of the sentences out loud without editing any of the words. It doesn't sound the way a human being SPEAKS.

THAT'S what I mean when I say these characters are OOC. The way that they're speaking is uncomfortable and feels as if they're being used as a puppet, or a mouthpiece for what somebody ELSE wants them to say.

[storm-driver]

gonna become a square enix executive so i can get exclusive access to kh4 stuff, and when the marketing team starts splicing together the worst trailer in the world to show you guys, ill whisper "psst don't watch that it'll be full of so many spoilers" and ill make my own trailer of all the shit i got to see instead without revealing the most important and plot-heavy stuff

[salty-software-engineer]

I love letting other people watch things first and then give feedback about it so I can gauge whether or not I want to spend time on it. Truly could not give fewer fucks about spoilers. If the story is good I will still have a fantastic time.

[orcelito]

I'm on ep5 of LOK and remembering why I have never gotten past the first season of this show. The love triangle shit is driving me INSANE in the worst of ways. It feels like fucking high school drama.

I will stick it out... because I have heard the show gets better... and also the promise of endgame Korra and Asami.... I will stick it out this time....!!!!

But God. It's so annoying 😭😭😭😭

[thegingergal]

me: i have made my peace with hbo rome’s historical inaccuracies and come to appreciate (some of) them

also me: VORENUS GETS ANTONY’S ICONIC IDES MOMENT?

[lostandbackagain]

many things bug me about this book but the way it just casually mentions nyame's family died by fucking hate crime and doesn't. explore that? how it affected him as a child or an adult? doesn't make us feel like we know haniah (one of her personal favorite characters? i thought?) or their mother? it's weird. I'm always thinking about it

[ritz-writes]

5, 6, 7 for the fic writers ask please :)

5: have you ever made a playlist about something you were writing as an elaborate means to procrastinate when you could have been actually writing and if yes drop a link, son

Technically yes. I wrote a multichapter fic throughout middle school and high school, and my friend made a playlist for it and I added songs to it as well. But I'm not associated with that account anymore, so, alas, I will not be sharing the link 😔

6: do you have any kind of consistent writing schedule or just hoping for the best?

My honest reaction to reading that was "Oh my god, I fucking wish." 😭 I'm constantly struggling with writers block, and am currently unmedicated for hella adhd, so I only write when my brain lets me. Or a fixation grabs me by the throat hard enough lmao

7: tell us about the plot of the first fanfic you ever wrote

Omgg, that'd be my first Warrior Cats fic. I won't list any names cuz, like I said before, I don't want to be associated with my old online accounts (not for anything bad, I just find my younger self cringy and don't want my current persona attached to it. If you recognize any of this, no you dont <3), but I'll give the basic plot. I had just started reading the series and very much misunderstood a lot of it as a kid, so I just made Shadowclan flat out evil and killing other cats 😭(they also lied to their clan and said Riverclan killed two of their own?? But like... how would they lie about that cuz I think people would notice if two of their warrior were killed, but I digress) The main character was a loner who joined Thunderclan, then got amnesia and was taken in by Shadowclan. She eventually is given an apprentice, a bunch of stuff happens that I honestly can't remember, then she and her apprentice flee to Thunderclan. She gets her memories back as soon as she crosses the border cuz of some prophecy stuff that I never really worked out. I was 100% winging that fic chapter by chapter and had no idea where I was going with it. I also thought 200 words was Very Long, so I think lil me would be proud to see shes written a 33k long fic 😌

[megaclaudiolis]

柄本 佑 || 「光る君へ」 (2024) · 第十五回 「おごれる者たち」 ​​​