#as it is he provokes his death and then wants to bring him back as a toy

[parlerenfleurs]

I'm perplexed by people who think Xue Yang could have redeemed himself given the opportunity.... It's a sentiment I see echoed a lot but it has no basis in the text or in simple logic.

The dude had plenty of opportunities to do it on his own before even meeting Xiao XingChen, when he had both a better material situation and protection from powerful sects. But sure, he was protected with the aim of making him do more bad things, and Jin GuangYao is a terrible frequentation to have if you want a chance to turn out better at some point in time, and also yeah, everyone knows emotional connection and genuine love are what truly nourishes the soul, so let's say he's a big brat bastard who needs a little more than that to grow up, and let it slide.

But then he ends up with Xiao XingChen. He ends up with him, the embodiment of pure-heartedness, with a miraculous blank slate because the dude is blind and doesn't have a clue who he is! That's the perfect opportunity to bask in the wonderful feeling of true kindness, and then of true affection, right? And what does he do? Not right away, mind you, no, he had the time to heal from his injury and dilly-dally about what to do next, he had plenty of time to make a different decision, to wait a bit more before making it, to stop being an evil asshole and sit down for five minutes. But no, what he does is, he tricks Xiao XingChen into killing innocent people. And he gets a huge kick out of doing it. AND he does it again, repeatedly, even after years have passed and they have truly bonded.

Like? I don't know what more people think he can get, as second chances go. He's a very fun villain but he is an irredeemable one. Of course, he feels love and care, in his own way, sure, yeah. Cool feelings, still manipulation and murder.

[lxvvie]

There's something about the way...

Price praises you. He encourages you to take the initiative even when he holds the reins. The battle-hardened bastard has seen so many amazing things in his life but nothing compares to the sight he sees as you succumb to yet another orgasm underneath him. And he'll do it again and again just to see you glow and come under his praises.

Gaz surprises you. Actions speak louder than words, and the man would much rather show you than he can tell you. And show you he does. You lost track of how many positions he's had you in and if you weren't so tired, you'd chuck a pillow at the cheeky bastard. You're pretty good, Gaz. Pretty. Good.

Soap worships you. You're like the fucking sun to him, something worth returning home to after every assignment. All the shit he's seen, you're a sight for sore eyes. Every flaw you think you have, he kisses it away. He'll always kiss it away. Your body is a sight to behold and he'll worship it every time.

Ghost excites you. He doesn't see how he does it, doesn't think he'll ever see it, but the intensity in his eyes, the purpose of every movement he makes, it excites you. The way he looks at you like he wants to devour you, the way he touches you even when it isn't sexual, god, it turns you on like no other. And even in the urgency of your lovemaking is Ghost still tender and considerate, everything he's always wanted but never had until you.

Alejandro soothes you. He knows all too well the pressures of life and leadership and would rather you be calmed by his touch than anything else. Every action, from the way his hands rove over your body to the words he whispers against your skin, blankets you like a soothing balm. You return the favor and you two find respite in each other's arms.

Rudy makes you laugh and makes you feel safe. He shows you how there can be humor even in passion. His quips are corny, yeah, but it suits him. And you'd have it no other way. Only Rudy can bring forth the deepest belly laughs from you while being buried deep inside you as well.

Phillip provokes you. He's a talented man through and through but the way he fucks brings out a primal need in you that you didn't realize existed. He fucks you like it's the last thing he'll ever do on this Earth and you respond with that same fervor every time.

Valeria captivates you. She is a woman who stares adversity and death in the eyes and tells them to go fuck themselves. Her presence can be felt even when she's not around and what she wants, she damn sure gets. This is what draws you to her, what has you yearning for more each and every time. And even in the midst of it all, when it's you two in the throes of sex is there a vulnerability that she doesn't dare show to anyone else, a side to her that's just as alluring as the badass you see and experience on a daily basis.

König embraces you. Because he himself wasn't embraced. Because he himself sought that same embrace. His frame, no matter how big, is comforting just the same. He's an interesting fellow with layers upon layers, each more surprising than the last it seems. Driven and focused on the battlefield, a nervous albeit eager and faithful mess outside of it. He more than makes up for it when he's with you and it's both a pity and blessing that no one, save you, experiences it.

Horangi tests you. The bastard lives life on the edge and it's no different when he's with you. The games he plays would infuriate anyone and you're pushed to the brink of orgasm and brought back every time. His fingers have you cursing and pleading with him to end your misery and let you cum―please, Horangi―but he doesn't relent. Not yet. He hasn't even gotten around to using his ace in the hole. Patience, baby.

[tojirings]

to yield

pairing: toji x reader

wordcount: 5k

glimpse: toji's the world-class fighter who trains in your best friend's gym, and you're the all-rounder employee who has a crush on him.

alternatively, mma!toji wants you to stop pining for him, and you finally listen.

[ angst + fluff, So Much Yearning, unrequited love (but only initial!! 😑😑), toji's almost always a little mean whenever he turns u down, nosy as FAWKKK bff satoru, the L word, mentions of mma-related injuries, jealousy, eventual redemption ]

To yearn for Toji is light work. 

Pining after him is as easy as making up workout trivia just to get a reaction from him that isn’t a neutral quirk of his lips or a dismissive tilt of his head. You’re pretty sure you’re going overboard with said lies (the proof being you having to approach Toji without Satoru in earshot just so the latter wouldn’t burst out laughing), but Toji doesn’t seem to think so.

He’s either very clueless and actually believes you, or he’s just tolerant of your “fact” of the day despite being annoyed to death with you.

“Now where the hell did you hear that?” he narrows his eyes at you, the ghost of an amused smirk lingering in his lips the longer you look at him in anticipation for his reaction.

“Just… somewhere! I heard it’s verified information,” you smile, nodding your head to delay the incoming wave of embarrassment that you have for yourself.

“Oh, okay,” Toji parts his lips, nodding tersely. “A reputable news site really said that my grip strength is stronger than a shark’s?”

“Mhmm. You’re the strongest, I bet,” you squeak, the tremble of your hands behind your back coming to a halt when Toji has to excuse himself because Satoru hollered at him from the other side of the gym.

You’re not ready at all to confess to Toji.

Every week, from Monday to Saturday, Toji comes into your best friend’s gym with a scowl on his face as if Satoru personally provoked him one way or another (read: he did), within the window of 9 to 10 AM. Only his left hand would be occupied by his gym bag, which he leaves to you for safekeeping at the front desk instead of the locker room, because Toji would rather punch himself in the gut than to deal with overeager fanboys asking him about his fights.

Additionally, every week from Monday to Saturday, you come to the gym at 7 AM sharp, partially to clock in — but mostly to walk to the expensive coffee shop down the block to buy Toji his drink from your own pocket. Between 9 to 10 AM, Toji saunters into the gym and gives you his bag, to which you take with open arms.

Also, every week, from Monday to Saturday, you make sure that you're Toji’s first interaction of the day.

The routine you have with him (and not the other way around because he’s definitely not as involved with you than you are with him) starts with you giving him a wildcard drink that the barista recommended, then Toji either scrunching his nose in disgust or him humming in something a little bit more pleasant than disgust, then him later thanking you before giving you his standard response.

“You don’t have to do this, Y/N,” he’d say, his brows soft yet scrunched in the middle. (In other words: I don’t like you back so you don’t have to do this for me at all.)

“But I want to,” you’d reply, your smile small yet unperturbed. (In other words: I like you and I want to do this for you regardless, but a large part of me hopes that you’ll like me back.)

It’s no secret that you have a crush on Toji– not at all. Practically everyone in the gym knows how head-over-heels you are for him, and maybe even more than the fighter in question.

Satoru knows it, and he groans to no end whenever you pine for Toji like a little puppy. With each interaction you have with Toji that’s more desperate and maybe even a little more pathetic from your end than usual, Satoru wastes no time before offering to set you up with one of his friends, to which you always deny.

Shiu knows it too, and he tries to bring you up during sparring sessions with Toji that come after seeing your more helpless flirting attempts with the latter. Shiu’s actively trying to help you, Toji, and himself in the process because he can’t tell just how much secondhand embarrassment he can take before exploding.

The occasional opponents for practice matches know it. The night janitor knows it. God, even the delivery guy who’s only seen you ask Toji if he wanted water once knows it too.

Toji doesn’t like you, and while you know that fact wholeheartedly, you’ve come to realize that taking care of him in your own way is what completes your day even without getting anything in return. You know you’re bound to be sick of the one-sided yearning anyway, but while you’re not sick of fawning over Toji, you want to make the most of it.

You want to make the most of it until defeat sinks in.

Toji does not care for you — or atleast that’s what he tells everyone.

“I don’t have a crush on her. Never did,” Toji would say to Shiu every time they sparred, his words automatically flowing as soon as he sees the slightest hint of a smirk on his handler’s face. Shiu would always wave him away as usual (and that earns him an ungloved and unrestricted punch on the shoulder out of the ring), and it only makes Toji pout because even his friend doesn’t believe him.

“I don’t like girls who are so obvious,” he would mutter under his breath whenever Satoru nudges him to say thank you when you hold out a clean towel for him even if he didn’t ask. Toji appreciates the cold, fragrant, and personally-delivered-by-you towel anyway, but not enough to smack Satoru on the face with it.

“I don’t know why you’d think that,” Toji, without fail, would reply to anyone in the gym who mistakes him as your boyfriend. He’s gotten shameless with it to the point that he doesn’t mind if you hear it, but also without fail, he feels a little guilty every time.

Toji shouldn’t exactly feel guilty for not liking you back because he doesn’t owe it to you in the first place — or atleast that’s how he reasons with himself.

.

.

.

“I’m gonna stop liking him in a week, Toru. I swear. Cold turkey and everything.” 

“Yup. Sure you will, sport,” Satoru snorts at your drunken admission, kicking your knee lightly to stop you from your sulking.

He feels a little responsible for your feelings towards Toji because if only he didn’t introduce you to him, none of this would’ve happened in the first place. 

You would’ve still been his sole accountant for his gym who only dropped in every once in awhile to help manage the place whenever it was short-staffed and not this; not the multi-tasking beast that you are who’s not only his accountant, but this cheery and energized all-rounder gym employee you he didn’t ask you to be.

“No, no. I’m serious this time,” you mutter, your cheek squished to the table so you can limit yourself from saying anything else that could explain to Satoru why you were hellbent in accepting his offer to drink tonight. “I feel like a fool running after Toji.”

“I mean, I wouldn’t exactly use the word-…”

“I know you think it.”

“Fine. I do think it, but you know I mean well!” Satoru surrenders, ruffling your hair as he takes note of keeping the windows down and driving as slowly as he legally could when he takes you home tonight. “You just aren’t Toji’s type, but that’s not a bad thing, y’know? 

There’s so much more on your mind, but you’re not in the mood to think of Toji any longer because the moment you do, you’ll succumb to him again.

You want to surrender, completely and irrevocably this time, but not without the final push so you could say that you did everything and you’ll have no regrets if Toji turns you down again — or rather, when Toji turns you down again.

“If it doesn’t work out,” you hiccup, burying your face to the bulk of Satoru’s sweater so you could smell the scent of clean laundry on him instead of imagining that you’re smelling Toji’s perfume out of nowhere in the packed club. “Go set me up with your friend.”

( ♡ ) 

Toji’s a little perplexed to see you at the front desk this morning.

After all, it was only last night when he saw you at the club, looking completely spent with your head buried in Satoru’s shoulder. Toji had only nodded to him when their eyes locked, mouthing that he’s with his friends so he can’t hang back with him, and Satoru let him go without any annoying remarks because he just gestures to your sleeping figure wordlessly.

Weirdly enough, Toji didn’t get to enjoy himself last night because his eyes kept wandering to your booth.

What’s even weirder now is that not only did you come to work looking fully recovered, but Toji also hangs back for a fraction of a minute right after giving you his duffel bag.

“Hey,” he greets, smiling tightly as he tries to figure out internally on why his feet wouldn’t move at all.

“Hi, Toji,” you reply back, staying still on your seat as you try to make conversation with him, but oddly enough, no ridiculous trivia could come out of your lips.

All it takes is Satoru whistling from the breakroom for you to snap into your senses, and for Toji to realize what was missing.

You have no drink for him today.

He’s not that bothered because that means he’s not subjected to whatever overly sweet or bitter monstrosity you give him, and that could only mean that he’ll be able to skip giving you his signature rejection.

It’s a good thing for you to start giving up on him, he convinces himself.

Toji tolerates you in a way that’s unbeknownst even to you, because in the first place, you’ve convinced yourself that the crush you have on the MMA fighter isn’t that serious.

Swiping your employee card to get him a free energy drink isn’t that serious in your own perspective, but when you overheard the conversation awhile ago between Toji and Shiu (with the latter convincing him that free energy drinks equated to a marriage proposal), you started doing it for everyone. You swipe your card over and over even for the fighters you barely know, but oddly enough, Toji’s eyes twitch whenever he sees his favorite grape-flavored drink in everyone’s hands.

Offering the Bluetooth connection code to Toji for him to play whatever he wants to on the speakers may be a little serious, but you convince yourself that it really isn’t when you accidentally eavesdrop on Satoru telling him that you totally have it out for him. What you do for Toji, you start to do for everyone; it’s telling with the way your speakers announce whose phone it’s connected to every thirty minutes, but not so much telling as to why Toji’s going extra hard sparring with his handler.

Toji does not care for you — or atleast that’s what you’ve convinced yourself.

Denying his fondness for you has almost been as easy as you tamping down your adoration for him, so much so that when a new guy at the gym randomly comes up to Toji and mentions your name, he responds automatically.

“We’re not together. Go ask…” her out — that’s what Toji’s supposed to say. “I don’t know, actually. I heard she’s taken, I think,” he rectifies himself, exiting the conversation before he could be bombarded with yet another question that revolved around you.

Or another question that would only make him realize that you having eyes for only him doesn’t equate to other people backing off from that mere fact alone.

Toji doesn’t like you, but oddly enough, the fact doesn’t bother you as much lately.

( ♡ ) 

You’re on your last leg of pining for Toji.

The shame of it all is finally getting to you, seeping into your deepest crevices that had thought for the longest time that you had a fighting chance with him. You don’t exactly regret yearning for Toji because after all, it had been in your own accord, no matter the risks you’ve already taken.

Maybe, just maybe, you could only go up from here. 

Maybe, because you and Toji hadn’t been friends to begin with when you pursued him, but on the other hand, it could be your ultimate downfall because perhaps right after he turns you down this time, you won’t be able to come back to anything.

There’s no foundation built between the two of you for you to fall back on, and while that’s surely devastating for you, it would only be a walk in the park for Toji.

You’re risking it all, even if you’re just as sure that nothing will come out of this, because you know you won’t come out unscathed — when Toji finally lets you down this time, harshly like you don’t mean anything to him, you’ll know then that you did everything in your power before you gave up on him.

The omamori in your hands that you’ve planned giving to him is your only salvation, because you get to grip it and remind yourself in real time that Toji’s seething at you.

He’s been stressed since the early morning fighting with his manager who had considered fixing up a match, and despite having resolved it with Choso already even before you came into his eyesight, Toji can’t shake off the anger from his body.

You’re the first person who comes into his space and into his mind, and you’re probably the last for the day (and maybe for an unforeseen amount of time) with the way he snaps at you.

“Y/N, can you just-“ Toji sharply inhales, clenching his jaw so tightly just so he can’t make his voice any louder. “Can you just please fucking stop?”

The omamori that you’re gripping tightly in your hands, the same one that you’ve gotten for blessings and protection for his fight in a month’s time, reminds you that Toji doesn’t want anything to do with you.

“I bet you’re a nice girl and all but I just don’t want you, okay?” he nods breathlessly as if asking you for confirmation. “I don’t like you like that.”

After a year and then some of yearning for Toji, you finally yield.

( ♡ ) 

You don’t come in for work.

Your absence is easily noticed because by this hour, you should’ve been glued to your seat by the front desk, ready to stash Toji’s gym bag under your desk.

He freezes by the entrance, brows knitted in confusion to see that your spot’s empty. He and his bag have been spoiled by you to the point that Toji feels uncharacteristically displaced when he walks past your desk, with his bag and without his drink.

“Huh,” Toji mutters to himself, strolling as casually as he could to the breakroom. He’s already had breakfast and he’ll be willing to have another one if it means lingering around you today, but to his surprise (and his surprise only), you aren’t there. “That’s weird.”

Toji jolts in place when he senses an agitating presence behind him that does little to conceal his proximity behind him, fists immediately clenching when he sees Satoru lean on the wall next to him.

“Jeez. I wonder who could’ve possibly said what to Y/N that made her call in sick today,” he enunciates slowly, enough for the sarcasm to steep in and his words to absorb into Toji’s thick skull.

“What are you-…” Toji interrupts himself when he finally gets what Satoru’s pertaining to, the skip of his chest being telling about the guilt that’s been stewing at the back of his head since last night.

“You weren’t exactly discreet about it, idiot. We were in the breakroom,” Satoru rolls his eyes, standing to his full height when he sees Toji falter. “Even Shiu heard you and he has the most effective noise-cancelling headphones known to man.”

Right on cue, Shiu comes out leisurely out of the room he had been peeking at two seconds ago. It takes only a second for him to register that Toji’s outside for whatever reason (he knows exactly why) before whistling in response, the shit-eating grin on his face apparent for Toji to remember.

“Woof,” he chuckles. “Don’t go biting my head now. I bet you’re a nice guy and all.”

It’s a build-up of things since this morning, and perhaps even from last night if he counts the immediate tinge of regret that stings him when he’s seethed his rejection at you, that truly throws Toji off his game.

Maybe it’s Satoru’s repeated teasing throughout the day and his targeted material of asking whether Toji was hungry or not, right within the timeframe wherein you usually ask him if he wants to join you for a meal.

Maybe it’s Shiu’s incessant mentioning of your name throughout his workout and the convenient reminder that Toji’s working out harder than he usually does, yet there’s no cold towel waiting for him.

But really, whatever it is that just adds up to the already excessive noise in Toji’s head concerning you, he knows now more than ever that absence your absence is noticeable.

His opponent for today’s practice match knows it. The day janitor knows it. Even the delivery guy who’s only been here twice knows it.

Toji simmers in guilt except he doesn’t want to admit it just yet, full well knowing that he would have texted you an apology — if only he had your number.

( ♡ ) 

You come back after three days.

After a year and some months’ worth of excessive reminders from Satoru, you finally take into realization that you don’t have to go to work in-person as often as you do. 

You didn’t know that all it would take for you to slow down and take your much-needed break is Toji by some way (read: rejecting you so harshly that you had been mute on your way home), and you haven’t predicted at all that there’ll be a day wherein you come to work not to pursue him.

Toji immediately notices your presence because even if you were no longer perched by the front desk, it was apparent that you’re already back judging by the way everyone– and literally everyone— in the gym seemed to look at ease somehow.

You’re at the other side of the gym with the light equipment that Toji barely frequents, and it’s the way you stand and smile that makes him pause.

It’s also the way that you smile at Choso that makes Toji announce his presence loudly.

“Let me help you there, buddy,” he claps behind the guy he recognizes as one of his fans (in all fairness, Yuuji isn’t as annoying as all the others who only come here just to get a glimpse of him), startling his already trembling figure.

Toji, without any hesitation yet a lot of frustration, easily grabs the heavy barbell mid-air that Yuuji’s struggling with before dropping it to the ground as roughly as he could.

It’s too light for him. Too easy, even. 

What’s heavier for Toji at the moment is the realization that you’ve given up on him and he has no one to blame but his emotional constipation, and maybe Choso who had pissed him off prior to his tantrum at you.

You did look at Toji and the mini scene he had created, but you immediately avert your eyes as soon as he fixates on yours.

He feels untethered this way, and if the lump on his throat is omniscient of the guilt that he’s feeling yet he’s unable to put into words, Toji wants you to notice him again, tirelessly and shamelessly like you did before.

He’s not in his usual zone, so much so that he barely makes any banter with Shiu who had been talking his ear off in letting Satoru have a go at him.

Toji’s too far out of his concentration, so much so that he agrees to spar with Satoru. 

He’s been pestering him for the longest time to get in the ring with him and Toji had always declined, even if he knows that your friend could take him on to some degree. He’s turned him down again and again for even just a light sparring session, especially when you were around, because he knows that he’s your friend.

He wouldn’t want to hurt Satoru if it hurts you, except now, the difference is that the latter really wants to hurt him and the former is out of his game to the point that he’ll resort to anything just to get your attention.

Toji lands a punch so hard that Satoru audibly croaks, holding his stomach even with the padding on. You’ve always been (read: used to be) the biggest fan of Toji even in practice matches, but now, instead of cheering for him, your eyebrows knit in worry instead–

Except your concern isn’t for him.

“Satoru? You okay?” you immediately come to his side by the ring, eyes inspecting him from head to toe.

Before he could even say that he is and that he’ll get back at Toji with twice the power, Toji pipes in from behind your friend, raising a gloved hand sheepishly.

“I’m not.” 

Toji shamelessly declares his apparent hurt, making everyone nearby audibly gawk at him for his audacity. You only blink at him in the surprise, trying your earnest to see on what part and capacity could Satoru, a non-professional, has possibly injured him.

“H-he punched me by the ear,” he stutters, the lie catching onto his teeth on the way out. The embarrassment of him making up an unbelievable lie is yet to hit, but Toji wouldn’t mind either way.

“What?! I barely even hit you in the face!” Satoru reacts, his face indescribable with the way he swats Toji on the arm in disbelief.

You snort at the scene in amusement, yet your eyes stay fixated on your friend.

“Yeah, yeah. I believe you, Toru.”

( ♡ ) 

True to his word, Satoru sets you up with his friend.

It was amusing, if not mildly infuriating with regards to the universe’s fate for your heart, to learn that Suguru’s the owner of the upscale café you’ve been buying Toji’s drinks from for six out of seven days a week.

It’s actually amusing to the point that you immediately smile whenever Satoru brings up Suguru, even for no particular reason, because if only time and luck had been at your side, you would’ve met him earlier and spared yourself the heartbreak from Toji.

You know to yourself, even in the deepest pits of your stomach that would like to argue otherwise, that you would’ve like Toji regardless even if you met Suguru earlier — what irks you about the whole thing is that fate is twisted.

You’re at standstill with the guy who checks all your boxes and actually likes you back unlike Toji, except this time, you’re content at staying in whatever playful relationship that you and Suguru are in now. 

It’s not a mess per se, but it’s a playful blunder between the two of you wherein you flirt and like each other’s presence, except you’re not in a relationship at all because neither of you are in a rush.

Oddly enough, having each other while not exactly owning the other at same time is enjoyable for the both of you.

For not atleast, you and Suguru are simply fated to be a pair of flirty friends that enjoy each other’s company without having to come home at the end of the night. He has his reservations while you have yours too, but they didn’t mean anything when the other just needs another shoulder present.

Your reservations don’t matter at the moment when there’s an inner turmoil that roots from the base of your chest, simply because Satoru had made the offhand comment that Toji kept asking him about you while you weren’t around.

Your reservations don’t matter at the moment when Suguru comes at the perfect time because he’s not as familiar as the best friend you grew up with, nor is he as fond as the man you’ve spent the better part of a year crushing on and are now wanting to move on from.

“Who’s that?” Toji snaps to no one in particular, the scowl on his face off-putting and intriguing enough for Satoru to notice. He follows Toji’s line of sight, a sly smirk already building up on his face at the prospect of teasing him, even if he knows your real score with Suguru.

“Oh, that’s Suguru. He’s my friend.”

“Didn’t he use to be that defending champion or something?” Toji murmurs, crossing his arms. He vaguely recalls how he once read an article detailing the young player retiring early so he could live a normal life, hearing the name Geto every once in awhile. “Why’s he here?”

“Didn’t you say you never keep tabs on other players?” Satoru snickers, the teasing smirk apparent on his face because of Toji’s sheer bitterness. “Also, it’s my gym. He’s not allowed around here or something?”

“Whatever. Don’t care,” Toji grumbles. “I could take him in a fight. I’d probably destroy him.”

Toji feels unwell, not because he spent a solid ten minutes arguing with a defensive Satoru that keeps insisting his best friend could totally defeat him in a fight, but because throughout that time, not once did you stop smiling at whatever Suguru has to say to you.

Your eyes are practically gleaming and although he loves the sight, there’s this ache that blooms in his chest and spreads all the way to the base of his spine knowing that it’s what you had looked like in front of him for the longest time.

“I bought lunch.”

Toji approaches you as soon as Suguru goes to the bathroom, his smile gentle and hesitant. 

It’s a first for you because you usually treat him. At the start, it was you treating everyone in order not to be transparent with your crush, but there’d been a couple obvious times in which you only exerted efforts for Toji and only him.

Toji doesn’t bother with an excuse of treating everyone or that he had bought too many; he just wants to have lunch with you. “Want some?”

“No, but thank you,” you answer lowly, the shake of your head barely noticeable because you don’t want to look him in the eye.

Toji’s more confused than he is deterred, the bag in his hands suddenly weighing a ton. “But you haven’t left your desk so that means you haven’t eaten yet,” he points out. “Do you not like this type of food? If not, I could just run to the-…”

“There you are!” 

Suguru comes back, and just like that, the crumbs of attention you were giving him had been cleaned up entirely. 

“Let’s go, let’s go, let’s gooo, doll. I wanna beat everyone else to the limited specials,” Suguru ignores his obvious beating presence and practically drags you out from your chair (even though you needed little convincing), the hold he has on your wrist making Toji see red briefly.

Toji’s jaw clenches, unconsciously stepping out of the gym not long since you and Suguru rushed out, his sharp eyes following you until you both turn the corner.

It’s the same shop he got your food from.

( ♡ ) 

Toji can’t put a finger to what he’s feeling.

He feels different; the bad and dull kind of different that makes him listless and anxious no matter how much he tries to tire himself out.

He’ll subject himself to an agonizing workout with no breaks in between, but after that, he could only think about the way your bottom lip trembled at his words.

He’ll put himself through one practice match after another without any proper training, and even if Toji wins as he always does, he could only think about how he’s lost all of your affection that he had unconsciously looked forward to the entire time.

Toji finds himself lingering around you and he doesn't know if he could just continue hovering and hovering in this way; in a way that's unlike yours because you were unafraid to stand so close to him, talk to him whenever you please, and trail around him like a lost puppy in the past.

He’s upset and he doesn’t even know why he allows himself to feel that way, when for the longest time, he had convinced himself that he didn’t give you any hope so he had no reason to feel guilty about turning you down; so that he had no problem ignoring you while dealing with his constipation of not apologizing.

Toji’s upset, except he’s too self-aware to the point that it’s only his spite that keeps him awake with regret; he did give you hope. 

He didlinger around you and accept whatever you had to give him despite his lips making out the sentiment that he can never return them.

He did feel guilty at the prospect of turning you down right from the start because if that wasn’t the case, then you would have long given up on him. 

He did feel guilty about rejecting you, especially considering the fact that he wasn’t wholeheartedly sure whenever he refused your love — he still does.

“Toji?” you call out, the sound of your voice immediately startling him with the lights already dim in the breakroom. Toji only frequented the breakroom whenever you were there, and the odd, if not ironic, turn of events makes him smile humorlessly. “Are you drunk? Do you need me to call Satoru?” you ask with genuine concern, tilting your head as you try to assess his figure. “Do you want to go home?”

“Nah,” he shakes his head softly. “It’s jus’ to take the edge off. Probably easier to get a horse drunk than to get metipsy.”

You give a small smile at that, the tremble of your hands barely noticeable with the way Toji’s even more nervous than you at the realization that the two of you are alone with each other.

You’re only here because you forgot your laptop, and Toji’s only here because he doesn’t know what to make of himself because you’ve detached yourself from his routine— from his life, it seems like.

Toji looks down on his full glass, swirling it by his knee. There’s an unspeakable sorrow to his face with something about it resembling you, or atleast the resignation you felt every time Toji turned you down less than gently.

“Why don’t you like me anymore?”

Your eyes widen at the question, the words left in the tip of your tongue drying out the longer that Toji looked at you this way — like he’s stooped down to the level you used to be in, his eyes tired and glassy.

“Why don’t you like me anymore?” he repeats, mistaking the shock on your face for confusion. “If I… i-if I pretend to be drunk and ask you out, will you say yes?” Toji murmurs, using the back of his hand to clumsily get rid of the wetness that had unknowingly formed at the corners of his eyes. “Would that make you go back to liking me again?”

[shxxxbi]

EVERYTHING THAT WASN'T INCLUDED IN LOVE SEA THE SERIES 🌊

Episode 2 (Chapters: 4 - 8)

<-prev next->

Why get your hands dirty?

One of the biggest differences between the novel and the show is Tongrak's attitude during intimate times with Mut. Rak is very horny for Mut ever since he first lays eyes on him, often wondering what he tastes like or what sex with him would be like but, despite his bold thoughts, Tongrak tends to be very submissive during spicy times. Here for example, Rak doesn't eat the urchin himself, nor does he suck Mut's finger on his own. It's Mahasamut who starts caressing his lips and then slowly forces them apart with his finger. Rak lets it happen, thrilled by this new situation he had never encountered before, where "the hunter in him felt like it was being hunted".

🍑

Though depicted as a blowjob in the show, what you should know about our little island treasure is that Mut is a man who eats ass. He worships ass. He'd eat ass all day, if he could. And he is terribly good at it. At least that's what Rak tells us, as he finds his thighs pushed up against his stomach and gets devoured by a wicked tongue that doesn't stop, even after Tongrak cums.

Happy horny puppy

Despite initially doubting his abilities, Mahasamut isn't mad at Tongrak for rushing him back to the island to work. He isn't angry, upset nor irritated that he couldn't get to release or that the writer is ignoring him. Mahasamut is happy. He's happy that Tongrak finally looks like he's enjoying his work. He is happy that Tongrak is smiling looking at the screen. He is happy that Rak's eyes now "sparkled with life". However, as he admired the writer working, Mut couldn't stop his eyes from lingering on the fair neck smeared with sand and reddening from sunburn. He wanted to bite into that neck and taste again "how sweet that fair skin was".

Money is not a problem

At this words, both of them closed the distance "as if they had been waiting for this moment all along". Tongrak's submissive nature shows again quickly, as Mut scoops his leg to bring their lower parts together: he complies easily when the younger boy brings his hand to hold them and rub against eachother, while a hot mouth licks and nips at the skin of his neck. Tongrak is delirious with excitement, he loves it when Mahasamut bites him and Mut knows it. He seems to know exactly where to suck, lick and bite to drive the older man crazy, to the point where the only words he could get out are "Mahasamut, suck, suck more. Ah, it's so good", as he kept grinding into Mut like an animal in heat.

Since he had already given in, why hide his desires any longer?

🌶️

Another thing you should know about Mut is that doesn't only eat ass, he spanks ass. After picking a condom that fit him, he turns around to find Tongrak on all fours on the bed, his legs spread wide. The sight provoking the young boy to the point he couldn't help but slap those cheeks. His desire for the writer was unbearable, making him thrust deep into the man. His size so big, it fills Rak in all the right places, bringing tears to his eyes.

"Can you take it?"

"I don't know, Mahasamut, I don't know."

As they fucked, Mahasamut wondered where to kiss and touch to make the person in his embrace melt, only to find out shortly after that Tongrak loved him plunging deep, even after the writer had already climaxed.

"Damn it, Rak, how could you let him do something like that?!"

Our little princess may have kicked Mut out of the room, and out of him, after the younger boy had tried to kiss him at the end of their sexy times. But his thoughts were quite different. Rak considered the sex exceptional, in the top three experiences of his life. It was so good he'd "almost choked to death trying to suppress the desire for another round".

Also, despite being kicked out, Mahasamut made sure a set of fragrant Thai food was delivered to Rak's room, so that the he could eat something before falling asleep.

The boy is mine

Tongrak tried to ignore it at first. He really did. But then a question popped into his head.

"How could he let his dog go and rub up against someone else's legs after he'd already bought it?"

As for Mut, he loved it. He loved that Tongrak showed possessiveness over him, just as much as he liked being a dog on a leash.

"Damn, he is too cute. I just want to fuck him right here, right now".

"It hurts!"

Hearing Tongrak's words, or rather Mr. Cutie as Mut liked to think of him, he quickly bent down to check if the other man's legs had been too close to the exhaust pipe or if he'd been hit by a stone along the way. After knowing the reason, Mahasamut helps Rak get off the bike by wrapping his arm around the writer's waist. He proceeds to tell Tongrak he'll be more gentle.

"No need. I can handle it. I like it rough".

Restaurant scene

After hearing what the Auntie had to say about Mut personality, Rak couldn't help but stare at the young man in front of him. He sensed nothing but goodwill, sincerity and respect, no matter how annoying he could be. The two then talk about Palm and what he had said about Mut being the island's treasure. Recalling the conversation they had had at the bar, Rak starts biting his lip. Mut reaches out to gently caress his mouth with his thumb, asking Tongrak to stop biting.

"Not your business"

"Yes, it's none of my business. But when you bite your lips... I want to kiss you".

Rak's dive

As we know, Rak is actually a certified diver. He got into deep diving thanks to Connor and they often dived together. He enjoyed it but didn't necessarily love it, as his hair and skin got easily damaged, so he eventually stopped. This dive, however, he craved. Rak had been around people for so long, he'd forgotten what tranquillity felt like. In the past, he liked being around people to mask his loneliness. He hated how miserable his large house made him feel, so he used to hang out with his friends as much as possible. Through writing tho, he found out there could be beauty to loneliness too and that he liked being alone, at least while he's working. This dive reminded him of this feeling, made him feel at peace, so he allowed his body to float in the sea. The feeling doesn't last long though, as the vastness and quietness of it all start to overwhelm him. Mahasamut arrives to lead him back to the surface. Contrary to the series however, Tongrak does not have a panic attack, nor does he recall painful memories of his family.

[jksprincess10]

Storm || Eric x reader

A/N: I fear I'm back in my Joe Quinn phase after watching a quiet place day one, don't look at me.

Summary: There's a thunderstorm and you can finally make noise.

CW: fluff, smut, eric is kinda shy and soft, reader has a bush, pre-established relationship implied, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, eric loves eating pussy, protected p in v, reader is a tad more dominant, minimal editing.

(1.3k words)

divider by @saradika-graphics

There is only one way to make love when any sound could lead to death: silently.

But when the outside is louder, when thunder tears the sky apart, when rain pitter-patters loudly against the asphalt, you can be as loud as you want.

In the darkness of your apartment, the first flash of thunder and the trickle of the rain provokes immediate joy. He knows too, his usually big, innocent eyes veiled by lust. Like Pavlov’s dog, Eric knows how to react when the outside sounds get louder and louder.

“Yes.” You immediately confirm what you want, and he gives in to you.

You wrap your hands around his neck as he brings you into a soaring kiss that makes you moan against his plush lips. You feel like you’re outside in the rain, drowning. Your fingers trail down his neck until you come across his first buttons, that you undo expertly, along with tossing aside his ridiculous tie. Despite everything, Eric still insisted on dressing like the lawyer student he once was.

Under the soft candlelight, you discover his pale skin, his soft body like it’s the first time. He takes care of your sweater, pulling it over your head.

“You’re beautiful.” You whisper, out of habit.

“Stop.” Eric reacts, his voice under the flow of his British accent. “You are.”

His arms are around your waist, pulling you close as he nuzzles your breasts that you hadn’t bothered covering up with a bra (who cares it’s the fucking end of the world, right?). The tip of his tongue shyly teases the tip of a hard nipple. Too used of being gentle, quiet.

“More, please.” You beg softly.

He sucks the flesh into his warm mouth, and your body arches against his chest, pushing your ass into his careful hands. Eric’s right hand come up to your other breast, caressing and squeezing the fat until you’re letting out pretty moans for him. 

Your hands come down to his leather belt, that you’re soon discarding on the floor with a loud metal clank. But you don’t care, as the thunder is already responding even louder. You’re both taking each other’s pants off embarrassingly fast, and he’s pushing you on your couch until you’re splayed out for him, a beautiful painting under a warm glow, occasional cold light revealing more. His nose traces your covered mound, inhaling the soft laundry scent of your floral panties.

The rain is still pouring, taping violently against your apartment windows as he pulls down your panties, freeing the dark curls and the wetness of your slit.

“You never told me if it bothered you –”

“What? This?” He’s asking as a finger curls around some of the untamed hair. His tone is almost mocking, and you feel your cheeks heating up.

“Yes.”

“I quite like it, actually. You look like a woman. And this is what I want. ” He punctuates his words with an index trailing over your slit, making you shudder. Your fingers tangle in his unruly, soft brown curls, pushing him closer to where you want him. You know he can never resist eating pussy, it’s probably his favorite meal. He spreads your lips with his fingers, keeping you open for him as his pink tongue lays flat against your slit, caressing and experimenting.

As the thunder growls, you remember you can show him your appreciation freely. Your mouth hangs open, and as his plush lips latch around your clit, you moan his name. And it’s the most beautiful song he has ever heard.

“You’re always so good to me, Eric.” You praise him softly, the tips of his ears reddening when you compliment him.

Eric sucks even harder before letting go to caress all of you with the flat of his tongue. Your ass lifts off the couch without really wanting too, pushing more of you into his mouth. He licks and sucks messily, wet sounds filling the air. You like him like this, free and disheveled. One of his fingers breach your hole, stretching you slowly. You want to tell him you won’t break, but you don’t know how, your mind blurry with pleasure.

A strangled “more” is all you can let out, and he listens, pushing another finger in. He thrusts them almost all the way out, then in, curling them at the right angle as his numb tongue keeps sucking. You fall apart just in time for the next thunder crack, a cry coming out of your throat as you gush around Eric’s fingers. His lips are wet with your juices as he comes up for air, climbing on the couch to kiss you. Your fingers tangle in his hair, pulling him on top of you as you lay down.

“Make love to me.” You whisper against his lips, your hands trailing down his body to take off his boxer briefs. Your hand circles the base, teasing his cock with a slow movement of up-and-down, momentarily distracting you from your wish.

“Don’t you want me to make love to you?” He whispers in your hair in an amused tone.

“Yes. But I like this. I like touching you.”

Eric chuckles and pushes your hand away. “Stop. I want you.”

 He gets up momentarily to get a condom and covers his cock with it, pumping himself as he gazes down at the perfection that you are, laid peacefully on the couch. You rarely look as relaxed, and he cherishes those moments when you’re not fearing for your life.

You beckon him closer with a movement of your fingers, and he lays on top of you. He’s always so careful with you.

“Hold me.” You wrap your legs around his middle and push him closer. His arms wrap around your neck as he fills you up, slowly, inch by inch. Your eyes flutter closed; you can barely see the violent lightning anymore; you can only hear it. But you try to concentrate on Eric’s heavy breathing in your ear. He stops when his hips are flush with yours, just holding you peacefully.

“I love you.”

You don’t know if you’ll live to see another day, but you love him and it’s the only certainty.

“I love you, too.” He kisses your brow, your nose, and your lips. You keep him there, your tongue tangling with his as he starts moving gently.  Your moans die in his mouth, and you realize how much you crave him, harder, faster. You push him off you and he looks at you with concern until climb on top of him.

“You won’t break me. Fuck me like you mean it. Fuck me like it’s our last day alive.”

You align him with your pussy, and you sink down. His reprieve is short, as you’re already bouncing on top of him. He moans obscenities, covered by the sound of the rain. His hands wrap tightly around your hips and his thrusts meet yours in a chaotic, unsynchronized dance that you both make work. The two of you are letting out cries freely, and it’s somehow liberating.

“Come for me, Eric.” You let out between strangled moans.

He slows down, thrusting harder and deeper.

“Not before you, love. Touch yourself.”

You anchor yourself to the couch with a hand on the leather underneath your bodies, your free hand coming down to play with your clit. You try not to fall as he keeps fucking up into you, in a slow but rough pace.

“That’s it baby. God, you’re so hot.” He says it like it’s physically hurting him.

With another one of his deep thrusts, your walls tighten around him and you come with a final moan. You then let him use you, until he’s also done. Your body falls on top of his, and you caress his sweaty curls as he whispers sweet nothings to you.

You love storms.

[yongility]

NEO TV # I LIKE ME BETTER WHEN I'M WITH YOU. (jaehyun x reader) 4/?

genre: angst, suggestive, gang au, rich kid au, enemies to lovers (kinda), a lil of fluffy stuff. slowburn, series.

warnings: drug use mentions, gangs, fights, use of weapons, adult language, illegal activities, cheating (not on the main couple), toxic family environment, addictions, manipulation, insecurities, illegal street racing, death mentions. jeno is jaehyun's younger brother, angst, smut and if I slip something my bad haha.

warning for his chapter: cursing, verbal fight, fight. Small smut part teehee lol (back of the car make out, dry humping, fingering, just that by now) psd: not so good at smut I think, but if you want more for the next chapter, lemme know, you ask… I’ll deliver)

word count: +10k? Not proofread!!!

After Chris peeled out the tires of his car, it didn't take Jaehyun long to approach his brother and (Y/N) to drag Jeno inside the house, with (Y/N) walking worriedly behind them.

Anger coursed through Jaehyun's body, and he wasn't even sure who he was angry at anymore, was it towards Jeno or that for that idiot of Chris? He knew he couldn't make his brother understand, but what the hell was he doing to make all this happen? He wanted to yell at him, to confront him, but he didn't want to make a scene in front of (Y/N), so he closed his eyes and paced around the room, breathing deeply to try to calm himself.

The girl went to the kitchen and after finding the first rag she could, she dampened it before returning to Jeno and helping him sit on the couches, then passing the cloth over his face, trying to tend to the wounds there and causing Jeno to let out a groan of pain.

(Y/N) chose not to say anything for the moment.

"What the hell did you do this time, Jeno?" Jaehyun asked releasing a furious sigh.

"I didn't do shit," Jeno replied through gritted teeth, letting out a grunt of pain.

"Bullshit," Jaehyun said. "What the hell did you do? I told you not to get into more trouble, especially not with the Yellow Wood gang again. You should know better than that, you're an idiot."

"What is she doing here?" Jeno asked back, grabbing the girl's wrist to stop her from continuing to apply the cloth to his face.

"It's none of your business," Jaehyun replied sharply, approaching him and forcefully removing his hand from her wrist. "What the hell did you do? Why did Chris say you got into his area?"

"It's none of your business," Jeno repeated, provoking Jaehyun.

"Stop this shit, Jeno!" The boy shouted, causing (Y/N) to jump in her place and feel small in her spot.

Jeno stood up forcefully from his seat and after letting out a groan, he said, "You told me you wouldn't get involved in my businessanymore, what happened then? Huh?"

"Don't be stupid, Jeno," Jaehyun spat. "Of course I'll keep worrying about you!" He raised his hands. "I've been in this business since I was eleven..." He murmured. "Do you think I don't know about this shit? Just tell me what the hell you did?"

Jeno remained silent for a moment, debating internally. He glanced sideways at (Y/N), who was a few steps away from them, watching the scene like an intruder. She didn't know what to do or say, she just stood there like a statue while holding the cloth to her chest.

"Sooman sent me... me and Jaemin. We were supposed to deliver some packages at the entrance of Yellow Wood but Chris and his friends were there... we didn't expect them, and then things got messy," Jeno replied in a low voice.

Jaehyun took a deep breath and let it out heavily before bringing his fingers to the bridge of his nose. "You got yourself into this shit, Jeno. I told you not to do it. I told you many times, and you know there's no turning back now, I don't know if you think this is some kind of game… but this," he pointed. "This is why I was after you and didn't want you to get into this fucking shit, your life will now become this. It won't be the first or the last fight or threat you'll have. Pull yourself together and realize what's coming," he said as he approached him.

Jeno just remained silent and clenched his fist on his lap.

"Do you think I chose this life for us? No, but you could choose to do something about yours. I was giving you everything, I was taking care of the business so you wouldn't have to! This is not a fucking game, Jeno!" Jaehyun exclaimed, feeling on the edge of anger.

"Jaehyun..." (Y/N) called him.

"No..." he said. "You don't know anything about this," and that was enough for the girl to fall silent.

"Yes, Jaehyun. (Y/N) knows nothing about this," Jeno said with annoyance. "Does she know your nightly routine? The number of packages you deliver in a week?"

"Jeno, shut up."

"Oh, I'm curious to know what she's doing here... you're not here for homework, are you? Oh, you're one of Jaehyun's little friends," Jeno blurted out. "Tell her, Jaehyun, tell her all about your life, all the truth, tell her how you manage to ruin people's lives. Or will you turn her into an addict too? Just like her cousin?"

"Jeno, shut up!" Jaehyun interrupted him loudly. "(Y/N), go to the car, I'll take you home."

"Jaehyun..."

"Get in the car," he repeated, this time in a low voice. After seeing that the girl did as he asked, he approached Jeno. "I'll tell you one thing, Jeno, you screwed up, and I won't be here to hold you up like I've been trying to do since I was eleven. It's time for you to realize your reality and what you chose... next time, you'll end up worse, and you know it, so try not to screw up so much, because you'll only dig yourself deeper," Jaehyun sentenced, turning away, not wanting to see him anymore for the moment.

He walked a few steps toward the exit, knowing that the girl would be waiting for him on the other side.

"Fucking someone from Kwangya won't make you escape your reality," Jeno muttered.

And although he had tried to avoid it all this time, that last sentence was something he couldn't help but let boil his blood because it was then that he turned around, walked up to Jeno and gave him a clean blow to his jaw.

"You're an ungrateful bastard. All my life I've tried to save you from this shit and this is how you repay me? I expected more from you, Jeno. Much more."

He turned away without letting Jeno say anything, continued his path, and found (Y/N) already sitting in the passenger seat with a bewildered look, waiting for Jaehyun to get into the car.

When he did, (Y/N) gave him a few moments to compose himself. Jaehyun slumped into the seat and closed his eyes, letting out a sigh and then a slight huff.

"You wanted to know more about me, didn't you?" He smirked slightly without opening his eyes. "There you have it. You shouldn't have seen all this shit but you did. This is my life, this is me."

The girl didn't say anything at first. She just let the words walk through her head.

"I'm sorry for what Jeno said," Jaehyun continued.

"You don't have to apologize," (Y/N) assured him. "I'm the one who wanted to come," she joked, and Jaehyun chuckled softly. "I know it's hard, but I think Jeno will someday see what you're trying to do for him... you're not a bad person, Jaehyun, you're an older brother worried about your little brother."

Jaehyun sighed. "Jeno doesn't understand how big of a deal this life is. I don't want to see him end up in a body bag or have to go identify his body. He's taking it lightly, as if it were a game."

"He won't," she told him. "As long as you keep trying, he might not."

"I see the way out further each time," Jaehyun confessed. "Every time I think I might get them out of here, something happens; first my dad's death, then Winwin's accident, and now Jeno starting to deal... it's like something wants to keep me tied here.

(Y/N) nodded slowly and seeing Jaehyun's hand on his own lap, she took a deep breath and stretched her hand to take his, which didn't seem to surprise him in the least, which caused something inside her.

"All those are reasons enough, Jaehyun," she said as she squeezed his hand. "I know that as long as you continue with that purpose... they might get out of here... I trust you."

The boy tensed under (Y/N)'s words and swallowed hard.

How could she trust him? How could she do it after seeing and hearing what happened moments ago? Why did (Y/N) want to make him feel this way?

He hated being selfish, he did it too much. But... now he felt there was something else to cling to. And he didn't understand it! As much as he wanted to, now all he could think about was how good it felt a few moments ago when (Y/N)'s body was pressed against his. How could a relationship with her end well? He didn't know, but curiosity to find out would end up killing him.

He didn't know if being attracted to (Y/N) would end up being just as dangerous as his life in Neo Zone.

But he wanted to take the risk.

"I wouldn't want to clash with your perfect life," Jaehyun murmured. (Y/N) scoffed and shook her head slowly.

"No life is perfect. Not even mine," the girl assured him. "Money isn't everything, Jaehyun... money has taken away my freedom to be whoever I want," she added with a sigh.

"What do you mean?" he asked curiously.

(Y/N) smiled slightly.

"My whole life has been based on appearances. Eighty percent of the decisions I've made have been made based on what my parents want or ask me to do. They want to have this facade of the perfect family. Especially my mom; for her, showing off our status, our money, is all that matters; everything I do needs to be backed by my mom. I have no voice in that house," she murmured the latter. "And I know that you and I are in different contexts and situations, but I also want to break out of my routine, I want to be able to have my own voice."

And that was something they shared... wishing to have their voice, wishing to be someone for themselves and not for others.

That's what brought them together.

"My life has been about being the girl who doesn't cause trouble, who sits and agrees with everything others say, who shouldn't cause a scandal," she continued and chuckled softly. "My dad has been cheating on my mom for a long time, and she knows it, but she'd rather put up with that than endure a divorce scandal... it's all pretending."

"It seems like we both seek to know who we are," Jaehyun said, turning to look at her without letting go of her hand. "And where we belong."

The girl smiled slightly and nodded.

"I don't think I'd mind finding out with you."

Jaehyun returned the smile and nodded his head.

"I'll take you home."

Crossing the entire city was a long journey, however, this time it hadn't been an uncomfortable or silent trip, so when Jaehyun stopped the car outside the Hwang residence, he got out of the car to say goodbye to the girl.

"Thanks for showing me a piece of your life," the girl repeated when they faced each other.

"Well, it seems like you're very stubborn," Jaehyun replied, laughing.

"I've been told a couple of times," she joked as they approached each other. "But I mean it, it meant a lot to me."

"Even with what happened?”

"Even with what happened” she affirmed.

Suddenly the distance wasn't so long anymore, and Jaehyun's hands weren't in his pockets anymore, but now they were on the girl's waist as he leaned against the car door.

"It's good to know," the boy said softly.

The silence stretched, and as they looked at each other, (Y/N) let out a giggle and spoke: "Are you going to give me a goodbye kiss?"

"I wouldn't want to have your dad's bodyguards on my back," Jaehyun joked as he tightened his grip on her waist.

"Can't you handle them?" She played along.

"Oh, baby, we both know I can handle them. I just don't want to cause trouble," Jaehyun confessed.

"But I want you to cause trouble."

And once again, the boy's lips met hers, first moving slowly and advancing as the kiss lingered. The only thing on Jaehyun's mind was her, nothing else. At that moment, he couldn't think of anything else, their lips collided and he swallowed the slight moan that (Y/N) let out when he pulled her closer to his body.

Playing with fire would end up burning him more than he wished.

But he would enjoy it until he couldn't anymore.

(Y/N)'s fingers played with the hairs on his neck, causing his skin to tingle and his body to start feeling hot; what would happen next? Taking her to the back of the car? Fuck, how good she would look while she was on top of his lap.

He could imagine it in a thousand ways.

But his thoughts were interrupted when something caught his attention.

"What do you think you're doing (Y/N)?" The girl's mother was a few meters away from them, and as (Y/N) pulled away from Jaehyun, he could see her face turn pale.

"Mom..."

"Get away from that boy, now," her mother demanded as she approached her and pulled her arm. "What are you doing with this criminal?"

Jaehyun's hand didn't leave the girl's waist for a second.

"Sorry, Mrs. Hwang, but I don't think I've disrespected you for you to do that to me," the boy warned as he stared at her.

"Mom, don't make a scene."

"Don't make a scene? You'll see when your dad finds out about this, go into the house now!" she demanded as she pulled her arm and moved her in the opposite direction.

"Mom!"

"Get your ass into the damn house now, (Y/N). I won't repeat it twice," the mother exclaimed and pointed at Jaehyun. "And you, I want this to be the last time you come near my daughter. I don't know what you're after, I don't know if you want money, but you won't get it. You better make sure this is the last time I see you near my house."

Jaehyun scoffed and shook his head.

"Call me, baby," Jaehyun shouted to the girl who was standing at the entrance of the residence. "And I don't want your money."

_______________________________________________

"I can't believe it," her mother said as they entered the house. "How is it that I find my daughter in front of my own house with a criminal like that?"

"Mom..."

"No, oh God, what if the neighbors saw you, what will they think if they did?" Her mother ran her hands through her hair in exasperation. "You're grounded, and you're forbidden from seeing that boy."

"Mom, the neighbors couldn't care less about what we do! And no, you can't forbid me from anything," she countered as she walked up the stairs of the house.

"Of course I can! I'm your mother!" the woman explained as she approached her.

"You don't even act like it!" the girl exclaimed. "You're hardly ever home, all you care about is how to spend Dad's money and what else to show off, you don't care about me, I see the service workers more than I see you!" she cried as tears threatened to fall. "This whole life? Huh? Full of appearances and lies? When will you understand that money isn't everything in life? And that people don't care about what we do?" she continued. "I'm tired of all of this!"

"Stop complaining when all I've done is make this family well-accepted!"

"And what good does that do? Dad cheats on you, and the worst part is you know it!" she reminded her. "You'd rather keep up this lie of a perfect marriage than admit it slipped through your fingers!"

(Y/N)'s mother looked at her for a moment and then moved closer to slap her cheek, causing the girl to look at her in surprise and pain in her eyes.

"This house doesn't even feel like a home," (Y/N) murmured before turning around and walking to the second floor.

"Let this be the last time you see that boy!"

______________________________________________

(Y/N)'s appearance that day, could say... it surprised others. She wasn't wearing the usual attire she wore to classes; today she simply had on joggers with no specific brand and a gray hoodie with the hood pulled over her head.

The night before had been... chaotic to say the least. Not only had she experienced something new with Jaehyun, for which she couldn't be more grateful, but it had also been the last straw in her relationship with her mother.

Years of listening to and doing whatever she asked, only for her to lay a hand on her in a single night.

She didn't know where she stood.

She didn't know what to feel, and she didn't know what to do.

She could still feel the sting of her mother's blow on her cheek.

For her, the pain was more mental than physical.

How could her own mother do that to her?

Feeling lost, she didn't even notice when she reached the entrance and saw Jaehyun waiting for her eagerly.

"Angel?" he called out, receiving no response. "(Y/N)."

"Huh?"

"You seem a bit lost, sweet cheeks," the boy said as he approached. "What happened?"

"I'm fine, Jaehyun," she murmured.

"Well, I think it's the first time I've seen you in joggers and a hoodie. Especially covering your head with a cap, did you get into trouble last night?" he smirked.

(Y/N) shook her head.

"My mom grounded me... again."

Jaehyun chuckled softly and shook his head.

"It seems that ever since you started hanging out with me, your mom has felt the need to assert authority," Jaehyun commented mockingly, then his expression turned serious when he noticed the slight reddish tone on the girl's cheeks.

But this color wasn't the same as when he made her blush.

It was different.

He raised his hand to gently lift her chin and tilted the girl's head slightly to the side.

"What's this?" Jaehyun asked seriously. "Did she hit you?"

(Y/N) grabbed his wrist and tried to pull him away a bit.

"It's nothing, Jaehyun," she affirmed.

The boy huffed.

"She can't just do this to you just because of last night, are you kidding me?" he asked, desperate.

"Well, she did, and I still can't believe it," she commented. "In my eighteen years of life, neither my mother nor my father had laid a hand on me," she said with a shaky voice.

"(Y/N)..."

"Hasn't it been enough? What I've done since I was little? My effort? Does she think something like last night was worth it?"

"It wasn't your fault," Jaehyun murmured.

"But look what she's done."

Seeing her like that and vulnerable was enough for him to wrap his arms around her shoulders.

The man you're becoming, Jung Jaehyun.

"I had texted you because Lucas and I are going to see Winwin, I was about to invite you, but if you think it's better for you to go home," Jaehyun whispered, still with his arms around her shoulders.

Without hesitation, the girl replied.

"I'll go with you guys," she assured. "I didn't do anything wrong yesterday to deserve a punishment, so I'll go with you."

"Are you sure?" he questioned.

"Very."

"Alright then, let's go."

______________________________________________

She no longer wore the hoodie's hood over her head and instead, tied her hair in a high ponytail.

Jaehyun might have thought that look accentuated her features more.

The boy smirked when he saw her laughing at something Lucas had said.

He could get used to that.

She quickened her pace when she noticed she had fallen a bit behind, and after greeting the familiar nurse, they made their way to room 119.

The laughter of Lucas and (Y/N) ceased when the door to the room opened, revealing Winwin just as in previous times.

Facing the window, staring into nothingness while seated in the wheelchair.

For Jaehyun and Lucas, that sight never ceased to be heartbreaking.

It was like seeing their friend dead while still alive.

"Hey Win," Jaehyun said gently as he approached him.

"Oh, what's this? Your hair has grown more since last time," Lucas commented as he took a strand of Winwin's hair. "Should I tell the nurse to cut it a bit, or do you like it this way?" he asked.

The dynamic of entering the room and conversing and asking questions to Winwin as if he could respond was something they were both accustomed to.

But for (Y/N), it was difficult to imagine the pain they endured knowing their friend wasn't mentally present.

"Oi Xuxi, Winwin's hair looks good like this, we should leave it for a while," Jaehyun joked. "His bowl cut was too much."

Lucas laughed and nodded as he sat on the floor beside Winwin's wheelchair and looked out the window, just as his friend did.

Then, Jaehyun mimicked him from the opposite side.

And (Y/N) decided to watch the scene from the room's entrance.

"Haha, Winwin hated that haircut," Lucas chuckled. "But my aunt kept doing it despite his complaints," he teased.

"Sicheng could never say no to my aunt," Jaehyun continued. "He didn't like making her sad, and she loved that cut on him," he reminisced with nostalgia and bit his lip.

Lucas nodded and sighed.

"Man, I really miss them," Lucas commented as he stopped looking out the window and looked at his hands.

(Y/N) felt like an intruder.

"My aunt made the best hot pot," Jaehyun continued. "Sometimes I miss being able to go to her house and sit down to eat with them."

"At least we have Sicheng."

Jaehyun smirked and looked at the mentioned. Winwin's face hadn't changed much, nor had his body; he looked a bit thinner since his nourishment was only through the tube he was connected to. His eyes were a bit dull, but they knew he was the same Winwin they had always known.

They just had to wait for him to come back.

(Y/N) decided to approach when both friends fell silent for a while, she stood right behind Jaehyun and placed her hand on his shoulder to offer support.

There were no words to say, but Jaehyun understood that she was there for him.

A few more moments of reminiscing a few anecdotes were enough to understand what Dong Sicheng meant to them.

To know the great friend Winwin had been before the accident.

And how much they longed to have him back.

They hated it when the half-hour visit ended. They didn't even feel like they had been there long enough; when they stood up to say goodbye to their friend, Lucas put his hand on Winwin's shoulder and gave it a slight squeeze.

"We're still waiting for you, Sicheng," he said gently.

"We'll be back soon," Jaehyun assured him, looking at him. "Don't cause any trouble."

Sometimes, the view played tricks, so when something caught Jaehyun's eye, he couldn't really believe it.

His breath stopped, and his heart raced; his gaze went to Lucas, who was to his right, and then to Winwin's body.

That really just happened.

(Y/N) opened her eyes in surprise when she understood the situation.

"Lucas," Jaehyun called to his friend.

"Did it really happen?" the mentioned asked.

"He moved his finger," (Y/N) blurted out.

"Jaehyun," Lucas called to him and then took him by the shoulders. "He moved his finger!"

Jaehyun remained frozen in place as Lucas shook him with excitement and (Y/N) hugged him from the side.

It was the first time Winwin had a reaction in the whole year he had been in rehabilitation.

And finally, they could see a light at the end of the tunnel.

After informing the nurse and thanking her for what they had done for Winwin and feeling excited about his friend's recent achievement, unfortunately, they had to leave the rehabilitation center.

Jaehyun's heart continued to beat rapidly, the thought that his friend could return sooner than expected filled him with happiness.

Perhaps not everything in his life had to be bad in the past few months.

"Should I take you home?" he asked (Y/N), who was beside him.

"I really don't want to go there," she replied.

Jaehyun nodded. "We have a race in Neo Zone tonight."

(Y/N) bit her lip and looked at him for a few seconds.

"Would you take me?" she asked hesitantly.

"I'm not sure if I should take you back to Neo Zone, Angel," he commented as he smiled sideways.

"Jaehyun," she murmured. "I survived the first visits to Neo Zone, I think I can survive one more night," she assured.

"It's not that," the boy replied as he stopped walking. "As long as they see you with me, no one would dare to harm you."

(Y/N) approached him a little, and it was then that Jaehyun took the opportunity to put one of his hands around her waist to pull her close to him.

"So?" the girl continued as she blushed. "At this moment, I prefer that, rather than going home to see my mom."

"Hmm," Jaehyun shrugged. "What do I get in return?"

(Y/N) thought she couldn't blush more, but Jaehyun just managed to make it happen now.

Seeing Jaehyun's sideways smile, the girl couldn't resist for long, which is why she slowly approached until their breaths mingled, and their noses touched.

The girl could feel herself melting right there.

"Hey, lovebirds," Lucas's shout caught their attention. "Sorry to be the third wheel, but the car is insured, and I really want to get in."

Jaehyun rested his forehead against the girl's and chuckled softly before shaking his head and, without the girl being able to expect it, he planted a brief kiss on her lips and then stepped away from her to walk towards his car.

Leaving her alone for a few seconds as she collected herself and walked behind them.

_____________________________________________

When the clock struck seven in the evening, (Y/N) thanked Jungwoo for being the best friend in the world.

"This will be the last time I sneak into your house to bring you a perfect outfit and escape from your mom so you can go to Neo Zone," Jungwoo said, crossing his arms.

"You're the best," she said as she applied lip gloss and smiled.

"And you haven't even told me what's been going on between you and Jaehyun, and now you're going to Neo Zone regularly?" the boy accused.

"We're just seeing how things go," (Y/N) murmured.

"Well, things must be going well if your mom flipped out when she found you kissing him," Jungwoo said sarcastically.

"Don't even remind me," she continued. "Are you coming with us or not?" she asked when she received a text from Jaehyun letting her know he was less than five minutes away from Jungwoo's house.

"And miss seeing my best friend getting laid? No thanks," Jungwoo joked as he got up from his bed and walked to the door. "Hurry up and let's go to Neo Zone."

When they reached the entrance of the Kim mansion, her heart could feel excitement, which Jaehyun had been provoking in her in recent days.

A few meters away, she saw Jaehyun's car, with him and Lucas in the front passenger seat. It didn't take long for them to park in front of them, and with a leap, Lucas moved to the back seats, and Jaehyun got out of the car to approach his friends.

"Hey, pretty," he greeted her, embracing her around the waist and leaving a small kiss on her lips.

Not only Jungwoo was surprised by the reception his friend had, but even (Y/N) herself was.

Jaehyun smiled when they separated and pushed her a little closer to the car. Minutes later, the four of them were leaving Kwangya, and as they approached the Neo Zone area, the streets became darker.

Perhaps fifteen minutes were enough to start hearing the roar of car engines and the music that resonated became more present. Her body was filled with an endless stream of adrenaline and emotions, and despite this being her fourth visit to the area, something inside her told her that something would happen tonight.

When the car stopped on one of the avenues of Neo Zone, Lucas was the first to get out of the car, saying he would sign Jaehyun up for one of the races. Then the other three followed, and they approached where the crowd was.

Jaehyun walked with his hand on (Y/N)'s lower back, carefully guiding her through the crowd with Jungwoo by his side.

"I can tell you're tense," Jaehyun said in (Y/N)'s ear, hoping she could hear him over the loud music.

"I'm fine," she replied in the same manner. "It's just... be careful in the race, okay?" she said as she turned around and ran her hands over his neck.

"Baby, I told you once," he said with a lopsided smile. "I always win."

"That doesn't mean you shouldn't be careful," she replied.

Jaehyun pulled her closer.

"Why don't you just kiss me so I'll consider it?"

He didn't need a second request because their lips met. Slow at first, like the first times, savoring the taste of the boy's lips... she could even swear she could taste a bit of weed that he had possibly smoked before meeting her. But she liked the taste; Jaehyun squeezed his hands on her hips and pressed her closer to him to enhance the experience.

The kiss felt electric, as if a spark ran through her body, from her lips to the tips of her toes. The boy's hands provided warmth and made her feel like she was melting right there.

She loved feeling like this.

Jaehyun couldn't get his mind off anything other than (Y/N). How the past few days had transformed them after they had both confided in each other.

He wanted to know her in all her forms. That's what he desired.

But the moment (Y/N) could slightly feel Jaehyun's hard length as he pressed her closer to his body.

She wanted to regain her composure.

"We're in public, Jae," she murmured when she pulled away from him.

"Fuck, I won't care about that if you call me like that again," Jaehyun confessed as he kissed her lips again and bit her lower lip. "Wanna go to my car?" he asked when he pulled away from her.

(Y/N) nodded without thinking twice.

Fortunately for both of them, Jaehyun's car was a bit away from the crowd. Just enough for no one to pay attention to them when they slipped between people; (Y/N)'s hands were sweating, and her legs were trembling.

Jaehyun opened the door to the back of the car, and before she could enter, he took her waist again and crashed his lips against hers, this time in a passionate and lustful kiss. (Y/N) pushed him by the shoulders to get into the car, and both of them did so without separating even a bit. A session of hot kisses intensified when, without even noticing, (Y/N) climbed onto Jaehyun's lap, feeling his hard length through her clothes.

And that was enough for her to move on him.

"Shit," Jaehyun groaned against (Y/N)'s lips.

The warmth of Jaehyun's hands left her waist to go down a bit and rest on (Y/N)'s butt, guiding her to press her small body against his clothed cock that was getting harder as time passed.

It felt so good.

Both of them did.

(Y/N)'s fingers were tangled in Jaehyun's hair, and the latter let out a moan when the make-out session became more heated.

It went on like that for a few more moments; Jaehyun's hands were doing everything everywhere, squeezing her butt, returning to her waist, and caressing any part of her skin possible. This caused (Y/N) to pant sweetly, giving Jaehyun more courage to continue.

Immersed in the state of ecstasy she was in, she didn't even notice when Jaehyun's hand left her waist and now was skimming her inner thighs.

But she didn't mind when she felt that.

“Shit baby” Jaehyun panted. “You gonna make me crazy” he rasped.

“Jae” she moaned.

“Yeah pretty girl, keep calling my name like that” he said as his fingers got in contact with her slick. “You’re so pretty looking like a hot mess”

(Y/N) didn’t say anything back, she just moved more to get the feeling of Jaehyun's fingers on her.

“Please touch me” she asked looking straight to his eyes.

He didn’t need to heart it twice to move her panties to the side and slide a finger through her folds and hearing her let a moan out. “Baby you’re dripping”

“That’s how you make me feel” she said between moans. “Fuck, Jae”

“You sound so pretty like this” he kissed her lips while introducing another finger on her, starting to move two fingers inside of her. She gasped in his mouth and Jaehyun only speed his pace. Curling and moving his fingers deep inside of her, looking for any sweet spots she might have.

“Look at you, getting off in the back of my car” jaehyun said too intoxicated, loving the way she looked as she left out moans that only turned him on. “Didn’t think you would like something like this” he said as he curl his fingers in a particular spot.

“Jaehyun” she mewl opening her mouth and making her grip on Jaehyun’s shoulder tighter. “Right there”

“Here baby?” He asked adding a third finger.

His fingers started to scissor her folds, making her feel so full of just his fingers, she moved her hips back and forth just to get a better feeling of the things Jaehyun was doing to her.

She felt in heaven.

But Jaehyun was hell.

When one of his fingers moved to her clit, that was when she lost it, getting higher moans out and squeezing her eyes shut feeling so overwhelmed. The sensation was just too good and she wanted so much more, she needed to feel him. Needed all of him.

With just a couple more of movements were enough to feel a knot in her low stomach.

“Look at me” Jaehyun asked, taking her jaw with his free hand and making her look straight at him.

With her fucked out eyes, she let Jaehyun take the best out of her. It didn’t take too long for her to let a loud moan and collapse on Jaehyun's chest, panting heavily while she tried to compose herself. Jaehyun took his fingers out of her and he licked them clean, and with his other clean and free hand rubbing her back giving her time to herself.

“You did good, baby” Jaehyun whispered in her ear while kissing her temple.

They stayed like that for a couple minutes, until Jaehyun's phone was ringing and noticing that was Lucas the one that was calling him.

“Shit. Angel?” he called her. “You okay to go back?” She hummed while nodding. “The race is 'bout to start”

“Yeah, I’m okay” she assured him.

He smiled and let a kiss in her lips while she got off of his lap. She opened the door and the both of them got out and Jaehyun help her to fix her skirt.

“Next time, your skirt will be off” he winked at her, making her blush even more.

He intertwined their hands and starting to walk again to the Main Street. Seeing Lucas and Jungwoo waiting for them a couple of meters away from them.

The loud music was still on and the roaring noise of the cars was getting louder and louder but before they both could approach their friends, someone got in their way.

“We need to talk” it was all the person said to Jaehyun but it was enough to tense him up.

(Y/N) knew Mark Lee from school, she knew he was Jaehyun’s friend back in the days, but she didn’t knew why they broke their friendship.

So, to say she was confused to see Mark in front of them, was an understatement.

“We don’t” Jaehyun stated pushing him to the side with his shoulder and trying to keep walking with (Y/N).

“Jaehyun” Mark called him from the back. “I know we haven’t talked in ages but this is important” the called one stopped his steps and took a long breath and it was then when Lucas and Jungwoo came to their side.

“I don’t have anything to talk with you, Mark” he said not looking at him.

He wanted to keep walking but the next few words that Mark let out were enough to catch their attention.

“Please Yoonoh” he asked. “Listen to me”

He shook his head.

“I know who caused Winwin's accident” he let out.

Lucas and Jaehyun quickly looked at him and Jaehyun got closer to him taking the neck of his shirt on his fist.

“Don’t say Winwin's name if you’re playing around” he said angrily.

“I’m not” Mark said with confidence. “Look dude, I know you won’t believe me, but I’m not lying. Winwin was my friend just as it was yours, so I wouldn’t joke about this. I was just as hurt as you were and you know it” he explained taking Jaehyun's wrists on his hands.

Jaehyun tensed his jaw and looks back at Lucas who just nodded and got closer to his best friend and to his formal friend.

“I swear I know who did it” Mark mumbled.

Jaehyun cursed and let his shirt to look at Jungwoo and (Y/N). “Jungwoo, take her home” he asked.

“Jae” she called him. “I don’t want to go” she said getting closer to him.

“I’m not asking you” he replied. “Jungwoo take her home” he repeated.

What will happen now that he might going to find out who caused his best friend’s accident?

He just wanted revenge. He just wanted to make them pay for what they did to Winwin.

He was just so lost.

What will he do?

a/n: im sorry if is a shitty chapter or a shitty smut part but I had to haha, if you want a smut part next ch lemme knowwww.

taglist is open! if you want to be added just lemme know;)

taglist: @spicyryujin @kriizztin @daegalismybiasinnct @peachfulnight @gojoscumslut @bluedbliss @dear-97 @girlwholovespreppyattire @hana-off-icial @cigarettesafterjae @beomgyusonlywife @bts-iris @doejaejung @methneo

If you want to ask me something, feel free to send them here!

[jaeyunverse]

cat boy

pairing: yang jungwon x fem!reader

wc: 1882

genres: some fluff, mostly crack, enemies to lovers, neighbours au

warnings: profanity

summary: yang jungwon is pissed his cat likes you more than him. or, in which jungwon’s cat plays cupid and sets you up.

note: this is extremely unserious!!!! i only wrote it for funsies but i enjoyed the process a lot :) i hope the fic manages to bring a smile on your face hehe

masterlist

There was an angry-looking Yang Jungwon standing at your door.

You didn’t know why he was so pissed. You just knew you didn’t care.

“Your incessant knocking woke me up,” you replied dryly and leaned against the door frame, arms crossing over your chest. “You better have a good reason for ruining my sleep.”

“It’s five in the evening.”

“What’s your point?”

Jungwon’s jaw clenched, and the corner of your lip curled up a smirk. Provoking him was always so satisfying. Always so easy and entertaining.

It was crazy how he was the sweetest person with everyone else but the moment you opened your mouth, he glared at you and looked like he was plotting your death. The discrimination and harsh treatment you’d received from the boy upon moving into your apartment had hurt at first, but you’d soon learnt to take it with a grain of salt.

You’d learnt that it was way more fun to push his buttons and see just how far you needed to take things for him to reach his breaking point.

“Just shut the fuck up and listen to me,” Jungwon snapped, pointing an accusing finger at you. “I need you to stop playing with my cat. Do not touch her. Do not call her name. Do not do the weird fucking meowing thing you do where she meows back at you and you have those god awful meowing conversations. Do not—”

“Oh, yeah,” you interrupted and pretended to deeply think about something. “I think it was just yesterday that Cleo told me you were popping a vein over her liking me more than you. I must say, Yang, you have reached a level of pathetic I didn’t even know existed. Yelling at your neighbour because you don’t get validation from your cat? Tsk.”

Embarrassment and anger coloured the entirety of Jungwon’s face a deep red. “You don’t get it!” he exclaimed. “Cleo keeps clawing at the front door! She doesn’t even want to stay with me anymore. She stares at me with so much resentment because I don’t let her play with you all the time!”

“I’m confused,” you said, your eyebrows furrowing. “Why don’t you let her play with me if that’s why she hates you? Your problem has a very simple solution—”

“But she’s my cat!” he said, running a hand through his hair in frustration. He stepped closer to you, desperation evident on his features. “I don’t care if she plays with you, but the more she does, the more she realises that she’d rather have you take care of her.”

“Well,” you sputtered, a little taken aback by how much his cat’s preferences had distraught him. “If it’s any consolation to you, I don’t have the time or resources to look after Cleo, so she has no choice but to stay with you.”

“I don’t know how to make her love me again,” Jungwon mumbled to himself, not having heard you at all. “I know cats aren’t very loyal, but I didn’t think Cleo would dump me after everything we’ve gone through. I pay the landlord more money so she can keep staying with me without having to hide from anyone. I fought—”

“Yang!” you yelled and grabbed his shoulders. He snapped out of his reverie and looked at you in despair. You’d never thought you would feel bad for him, but you found yourself offering, “Do you want me to show you how I play with her? I don’t know why she prefers me over you, but maybe I’m doing something you aren’t. Maybe you’ll know what it is if we play with her together.”

Jungwon nodded eagerly. “Yeah, let’s go.”

“Now?” you asked incredulously. “I have to meet a friend for dinner.”

“Please,” he begged, and you didn’t think you’d ever heard him sound so hopeless before. “Just for ten minutes.”

You hesitated a bit for a moment, but then reluctantly agreed. “Ten minutes.”

Jungwon watched in awe as you interacted with Cleo. He couldn’t remember the last time he saw his ginger Ragamuffin so excited.

“Hey, Cleo,” you cooed, cupping her face in your hands. “How are you doing? How’s the most precious girl in the world doing?”

Cleo purred and leaned into your touch. Smiling, you caressed her cheeks and kissed her nose.

Gathering her in your arms, you stood up. The cat rested her head on your shoulder and closed her eyes.

“I really don’t see Cleo hating anyone,” you said to Jungwon, a small frown settling on your features. “I mean, look at her.”

He sighed and padded towards you, stopping only when he was right beside. His arm brushed against yours. “I don’t get it either.”

And then, as if to prove to you that he wasn’t lying about his cat having something against him, Jungwon lightly petted her.

Cleo’s eyes snapped open and her nails popped out. She pawed at him and he withdrew his hand immediately.

“Oh.”

“I don’t understand why she’s acting this way,” he lamented. “She was good to me until you came along!”

You scoffed in disbelief. “Are you seriously saying this is my fault? Did you even consider the possibility of you being a horrible owner?”

“You did not just say that!” Jungwon looked extremely offended, but you didn’t give a shit. You couldn’t believe he was blaming you for his problems.

“I don’t even need to say anything,” you sneered. “Cleo running away from you to me speaks volumes.”

You saw your neighbour’s jaw clench. His hands curled into fists at his side, and you wondered if you’d gone too far. You know he loved his cat; insinuating that he wasn’t taking good care of her probably hurt.

Besides, you knew it wasn’t true. Jungwon was a huge animal enthusiast. He’d looked after a turtle when he was five and had decided then and there that a career surrounded by animals was what he wanted. He was studying to be a veterinary doctor now.

Before you could open your mouth to apologise, he muttered, “I should have known this was a bad idea.”

Your blood boiled once again. “You really do have a knack for being the most ungrateful asshole anyone could ever come across, Yang.”

In your arms, Cleo meowed and lifted her head from your shoulder, staring daggers at her owner.

“Ungrateful?” Jungwon snorted in disbelief, not noticing the glares the Ragamuffin was sending his way. “You haven’t done anything since you came here! I don’t have shit to be grateful for.”

Cleo growled, and the boy finally acknowledged her anger.

You pointed a finger at Jungwon and fumed, “I take back what I said before. I do see Cleo hating you. You’re a little bitch who—”

“Oh, spare me.” He cut you off with a roll of his eyes, but you paid him no heed and continued,

“Maybe she’d like you better if you liked me better!”

The cat meowed again. The message was very clear. She agreed.

“I do like you...” Jungwon said defensively, but it was a pathetic attempt that convinced no one. Especially not Cleo.

“Yeah, sure.” You let out a humourless laugh. “You’ve obviously been a jerk to me from the very start because you think you’re the unapproachable, dark-haired, broody lead and I’m the sunshine who is supposed to make you open up.”

He gave you a sour look. “You’re not the sunshine.”

“And you’re not the main character you think you are. I’m not going to put up with your attitude anymore. Just stop being a dick and tell me what you have against me.”

Jungwon hesitated for a moment. You watched as he contemplated whether or not to tell you the real reason behind his grudge, and with each passing second, you slowly started to get a good idea of why.

You knew it was going to be something stupid.

He proved you right.

“I was trying to rent the apartment you’re living in. It has a better view and is way bigger. I live with a cat and you live alone—I thought it was unfair that the landlord chose someone who doesn’t even need the space.”

You were speechless for a while. You took your sweet time to wrap your head around the fact that Yang Jungwon was one petty son of a bitch.

“That’s it?” you finally asked. “You hate me because I snagged the apartment you wanted fair and square?”

He didn’t confirm. He didn’t need to.

You exclaimed, “Grow the hell up, Yang! So what if I got it? It’s been six months; move on!”

“You don’t need it as much as I do!” he protested.

“You don’t know that!” you said angrily. “You don’t know me! You never tried to.”

Jungwon opened his mouth to retort, but he didn’t really know what to say. He knew he was the one at fault. Maybe he should have apologised.

Too bad his stubbornness wouldn’t let him go down without a fight.

“It’s not like you ever tried to get to know me either,” Jungwon muttered.

“I brought you home-baked cookies the day I moved in. You said you didn’t want them and shut the door in my face. I invited you to my house-warming party too, but neither did you reply to my email nor show up. You really think I didn’t try to get to know you? To be friends with you?”

Your voice was laced with bitterness, but there were traces of genuine sorrow in it as well. The fire in your eyes from your bickering had winked out and you looked tired.

The boy found his resolve crumbling. Shame and guilt began to build claw at him from the inside. Maybe he had been unnecessarily harsh.

“I—uh..” Jungwon tried, “I’m sorry.”

You raised your eyebrows. “For being so rude to you, I mean, ” he added hastily. “You didn’t deserve it.”

The apology could have been way better but you weren’t going to complain. “Okay.”

Setting Cleo on the floor again, you moved towards the front door of his apartment. “I’ll get going.”

However, before you could turn the knob, Jungwon blurted, “Are—are you free now? Maybe we can hang out and get to know each other?”

“Oh.” You were dumbfounded. Out of all the things you expected him to say, this was not it. “I have to meet a friend tonight. I told you.”

Embarrassment tinted his ears a deep red. “Right,” he squeaked after clearing his throat. “Forget I asked.”

“Well—” you started after a beat of awkward silence— “I won’t be out for that long. Do you wanna come over to watch a movie later?”

“I have to get up early tomorrow.”

You decided that this was clearly not working out—but it wasn’t that bad. So what if Jungwon and you couldn’t hang out? You were on good terms now. That was an immense improvement in your relationship already.

Your neighbour, however, didn’t seem to be in the mood to cut his losses and move on. He tried again, “The weekend?”

You paused. Racked your brain to make sure you didn’t have any other commitments. “The weekend.”

“It’s a date.”

Strangely, you didn’t correct Jungwon. He didn’t take his words back either.

Cleo’s tail swayed in silent approval.

[merwgue]

Tamlin is one of the most misunderstood and controversial characters in the ACOTAR series, and while some of his actions—like locking Feyre up—were inherently wrong and abusive, they stem from deep-rooted trauma and manipulation, making his story much more complex than people give him credit for.

1. Trauma from Amarantha – 50 Years of Hell Tamlin spent 50 years under Amarantha’s rule, being groomed and manipulated. He was powerless to save his court and the other courts from suffering, and that burden fell squarely on his shoulders. For half a century, Tamlin lived under the constant pressure of being the one to break the curse, with everyone’s freedom hanging on him. He was traumatized, broken, and desperate, having endured endless torment. This trauma shaped his every decision when it came to Feyre, and while his actions—like locking her up—were wrong, they were driven by deep-seated fear and an overwhelming need to protect her, which he saw as his only chance at redemption.

Tamlin’s fear wasn’t just about control; it was about trying to keep Feyre safe after having lost control over everything else for decades. But, of course, that doesn’t excuse his abusive behavior. It was wrong, but it’s important to understand where that behavior came from—trauma, manipulation, and the belief that if he failed to protect her, he would fail once again.

2. Reactive Abuse in ACOWAR – Feyre Deliberately Provoking Tamlin In A Court of Wings and Ruin, Feyre plays a dangerous game of provoking Tamlin to make him react in ways that paint him as the villain. This is reactive abuse. She comes back to the Spring Court with the intention of tearing it down from the inside, manipulating Tamlin’s emotions and pushing him to his breaking point. She does things deliberately to make him angry and hurt him, knowing he will react out of frustration and heartbreak.

While Tamlin’s actions in earlier books were abusive, Feyre’s calculated manipulations in ACOWAR cannot be ignored. She deliberately enrages him, knowing exactly what buttons to push, and when he reacts, he’s painted as the bad guy. But let’s not forget: Tamlin was already mentally broken and reeling from losing Feyre, and she intentionally took advantage of that vulnerability.

3. Feyre Destroying His Court – Overkill Feyre’s decision to destroy Tamlin’s entire court is a massive overreaction. Yes, they broke up, and yes, Tamlin made mistakes, but wiping out his entire kingdom because of a failed relationship? It’s spiteful and malicious. Feyre didn’t just want to hurt him emotionally—she wanted to ruin his entire life, his legacy, and everything he had worked to protect. And for what? A breakup? The level of destruction she brings to the Spring Court is wildly disproportionate to Tamlin’s mistakes. She knowingly and willfully destroyed the home and people he loved, leaving him with nothing but ruin.

4. Tamlin Saving Rhysand’s Life in ACOWAR – And Still Getting Trashed Tamlin’s good deeds get completely overlooked in favor of villainizing him. In ACOWAR, he literally saved Rhysand’s life during the battle. Rhys was on the brink of death, and despite everything, Tamlin stepped in to rescue him. Tamlin put aside his grievances and his heartbreak to do the right thing, proving that despite his flaws, he still cared enough to save someone who had wronged him.

But instead of gratitude or any kind of recognition, Rhysand continues to trash Tamlin in ACOFAS and ACOSF. He makes snide comments, mocks him, and even invades Tamlin’s court just to taunt him. It’s infuriating when you consider that Rhys wouldn’t even be alive without Tamlin’s help. How can someone who owes his life to Tamlin continue to treat him like dirt? It’s an example of how skewed the narrative is in Rhysand’s favor.

5. Rhysand’s Hypocrisy – His Own Crimes Ignored Let’s not forget that Rhysand literally murdered Tamlin’s family. Yes, Rhysand’s family suffered a great loss, but they initiated the blood feud by attacking first. Tamlin’s family was killed in retaliation for Rhysand’s father and brothers attacking them, and yet, all the sympathy is directed at Rhysand’s loss. Tamlin’s pain and trauma from losing his entire family is brushed aside, while Rhysand’s grief is front and center, as if only his loss matters.

Rhysand is glorified, and his family’s death is framed as this great tragedy, but Tamlin’s loss? Barely a footnote. It’s a double standard, especially when you consider that Rhysand’s family brought the conflict on themselves. Tamlin’s trauma from losing his family is completely ignored in favor of building up Rhysand as the hero.

6. Rhysand Telling Tamlin to Kill Himself – Beyond Cruel Rhysand’s treatment of Tamlin post-ACOWAR is downright despicable. Tamlin is left broken, suffering from depression, having lost his court, Feyre, and his family. Instead of showing any empathy, Rhysand invades his court and tells him to kill himself. This is someone who is already at his lowest, and instead of being left in peace, Rhysand shows up just to make his suffering worse. It’s not just toxic—it’s cruel beyond measure. For someone who has supposedly suffered so much himself, Rhysand shows an astonishing lack of empathy for someone else in pain.

7. Tamlin as a Victim of Trauma – Deserving of Understanding In the end, Tamlin is a victim of years of trauma, manipulation, and immense pressure. His actions were wrong, but they were driven by fear and desperation, not malice. Tamlin suffered from Amarantha’s grooming, lost his entire family because of Rhysand’s blood feud, and had his court destroyed by Feyre’s revenge. He is not a one-dimensional villain; he’s a deeply flawed character who was broken by his circumstances.

While Tamlin’s mistakes should be acknowledged, it’s unfair to completely vilify him while Rhysand gets away with far worse. Tamlin’s trauma, pain, and losses are real, and they deserve to be treated with the same understanding and empathy that Rhysand’s story receives. At the very least, Tamlin deserves recognition for the good he has done—saving Rhysand, fighting for his court, and suffering through immense trauma without any support. Tamlin deserved better from both the narrative and the characters around him.

(This took me an hour to write I better see NO ONE discrediting me🤣)

[missy4176]

A Last Goodbye

Cale Henituse x Reader

The room was eerily quiet, save for the faint sound of your labored breathing. The once vibrant light in your eyes had dimmed, and your skin was pale as the moonlight that seeped through the window. The end was near—you both knew it. Yet, the man by your side, the infamous slacker of the Henituse family, remained as stoic as ever.

Cale Henituse sat by your bedside, his usual indifference masking the storm raging within him. He’d always been good at hiding his emotions, mastering the art of detachment to protect himself and those he cared about. But now, as he looked at you, that carefully constructed facade was crumbling.

The man who had faced monstrous enemies, and the burden of a destiny he never wanted, now found himself powerless in the face of your impending death. He had always been the one to remain calm, calculating the best course of action with a cold, clear head. But now, his heart was heavy, weighed down by the words he had never been able to say.

“Cale…” Your voice was barely a whisper, weak and fragile. Even now, you were more concerned about him than yourself. It was just like you—selfless to the very end.

He didn’t respond immediately, just tightened his grip on your hand. He felt the frailty of your bones beneath his fingers, the warmth slipping away from your body. Cale had always hated being vulnerable, but now, he was terrified. He was about to lose the one person who saw through his indifferent mask, who loved him despite—or perhaps because of—his flaws.

“Why are you still here?” His voice was rough, almost accusing, as if trying to provoke a response that would bring back the spark in your eyes. “You should have let me go long ago. You should’ve left, but you stayed, damn it.”

You offered him a weak smile, your lips trembling. “Because I wanted to be with you… even if it was just for a little while longer.”

Cale closed his eyes, feeling the weight of guilt and regret bearing down on him. For once in his life, he couldn’t run away, couldn’t hide behind his usual apathy. He had always kept you at arm’s length, believing it was safer that way—for both of you. But now, as he watched the life slowly drain from your body, he realized just how wrong he had been.

“I was afraid,” he finally admitted, his voice cracking. He looked away, unable to meet your gaze. “I thought… if I kept my distance, you wouldn’t get hurt. I didn’t want you to suffer because of me.”

Your eyes softened with understanding. You had always known. You had seen through his cold exterior from the very beginning, recognizing the warmth he tried so hard to bury. Even now, in your final moments, you could see the love in his eyes, even if he couldn’t say the words.

“Cale,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “You don’t have to say it. I’ve always known.”

His chest tightened, and he cursed himself for his cowardice. He had faced death countless times, stared it in the face without flinching. But now, he was paralyzed with fear—not for himself, but for you. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing you, not like this, not when he hadn’t even had the courage to tell you how he felt.

“Please… don’t leave me,” he choked out, his voice breaking. He wasn’t supposed to be the one begging, but here he was, clutching your hand like it was the only thing keeping him tethered to this world. “I’m sorry… for everything. I should have told you… I—”

You squeezed his hand weakly, offering him one last smile. “I know, Cale. I’ve always known. It’s okay.”

Tears he hadn’t even realized were there began to fall, staining his cheeks. Cale Henituse, the man who had always kept his emotions locked away, who had never shown weakness, was now breaking apart in front of you. And it was too late. The words he had always kept buried deep within him, the feelings he had never dared to express, were now pouring out—but they came too late.

You took a shuddering breath, your eyes fluttering closed. The last thing you saw was Cale’s face, twisted with sorrow and regret. And despite the pain, despite everything, you were at peace. You had always known how he felt, even if he hadn’t been able to say it. You had loved him, and that was enough.

“Goodbye, Cale…” you whispered, your voice barely more than a breath.

And then, you were gone.

Cale sat there, still holding your hand, even as the warmth faded away. The silence was deafening, the weight of his unspoken words crushing him. He had always prided himself on his ability to outsmart his enemies, to come out on top no matter the odds. But now, for the first time, he realized he had lost the one battle that truly mattered.

He had lost you.

And with you, he had lost the chance to tell you that he loved you.

[venusphoriia]

— Maybe In Another Life

;; ₍ # ₎ ⁀➷ Clarisse La Rue x Reader

─ she honestly would’ve loved you.

cw ཿ⠀ not proof-read, major character death, description of coping with losing a loved one, angst no comfort, (written with a female reader in mind, but honest no pronouns are used (I think??))

ପ a/n ; literally a quick dump (it’s been sitting in my drafts for about a month) because I’ve been super busy. I’m still working on Lovesick Denial Part 2 and another request, so one of those may be released next. Thank you so much for the support and I hope you enjoy! (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃♡︎

Clarisse stares blankly at the gravestone. The flower gently twirls in her hands mindlessly. The sun felt warm against her skin, the wind—a perfect breeze. The weather was calm, mellow like the calm after a storm.

The sky was bright, much too bright for Clarisse’s liking. Especially now, but she knew this weather is something you enjoy. Everything looked so alive, free—perhaps even a bit happy. She felt so out of place. Nothing felt right, like something was missing. She knew, but she wanted to deny it a bit longer.

She sinks deeper into her thoughts—memories that she treasures. For a moment, she allows them to completely consume her senses, reliving them as if they were the present. She can hear your heartfelt laughter from afar, drawing closer as you approach her.

You quickly quiet your movements, sneaking up on Clarisse from behind. She closes her eyes, pretending not to hear you (like she always does). She feels you creep closer, you hand slowly reaching out towards hers. A soft chill runs up her spine as your fingertips brush against her skin.

She waits quietly for the sound of your voice, but it never comes. Clarisse brow furrows softly, she closes her eyes tighter in concentration. Your hands slip into hers, but they aren’t as soft as they used to be. Still, she imagines your smile as you slowly trail your hand up her arm, carefully tracing her scars as you alway did, until your hand rests along her neck.

Again, she listens carefully for your soft laughter, but again, she’s left waiting. She feels your hand cup her face and again the touch feels odd. It’s warm, but so foreign. Even the way you held her felt so…different. She tries to correct the mistakes in her mind, wanting to indulge deeper into her fantasy.

Again, she waits. Yearning to hear your voice, she waits as her eyes desperately remain closed.

“Clarisse?” Again, she is left disappointed. She breaks away from her daydream, her eyes slowly opening. Tears slip past her eyes as she meets a look full of pity and concern, “…You alright?”

The question is hesitant as if scared to provoke Clarisse’s anger. Clarisse looks away, down at his hand that carefully holds hers. The flower in her hand was tight in her grip as if she was afraid to let go.

“I’m fine,” her tone is rough as she wipes away her tears, pulling away from Chris’ touch.

Chris Rodriguez, son of Hermes. Someone she had grown close to since—no, she doesn’t want to think about it. She places the flower among the many others on the gravestone. A beautiful Daffodil among the many others. Clarisse smiles softly to herself as she sees the gifts others have left behind in your memory. She knew you would appreciate them all.

Your greatest fear was being forgotten—or worse being remembered as someone who never did much with their life. It brings Clarisse a little comforting knowing that your anxieties would’ve been put to rest if you had realized how much you are truly loved.

Clarisse wipes away her tears again, clearing her throat before standing back up. She walks past Chris, not being able to find the strength within herself to even spare him a glance. He doesn’t comment on it, following behind her, but also being mindful to keep his distance.

She looks down at her hand, the ring feels rather tight around her finger. A wave of anger, hurt, and disappointment hit her as she swallows the bitterness in her throat. She looks away. She pretends it’s your ring, your engagement—that she’s your fiance.

She truly would’ve married you. If only you’d been able to stick around, maybe you would have said yes.

© venusphoriia 2024 — do not copy or repost any of my works on any other platform, please and thank you !! ( ˘ ³˘)♡

[myfeetrcolddd]

Down bad...and a little unhinged

It only got worse after Theodore realized just how much he liked her violence. So much more worse that he thought that if he died by her hand it would all be worth it because not only was it by her hand but that she was touching him.

He was sure he was insane. His friends agreed on that fact, especially when he started to provoke the girl even more. His notes had also become more than promiscuous. Reddening the girls cheeks every morning. He was yet to receive a reply from the long haired girl, but her visual reactions were enough fuel.

The Slytherin boy was sitting at the breakfast table, right across from the pretty girl as usual, his chin resting in his hand as he stared at the girl.

Despite what she said, she was affected by him, all of him. It was infuriating, really. The words and promises on those papers he sent her every morning, every day, without fail, sparked something in her. Something she wished to bury deep down forever.

Sure, he was handsome, charming, rich, but he was arrogant and rude, and so immensely hot infuriating. He made her want to punch him. So far it was only slaps and harsh pushes, but she was close to punching him. So very very close.

It also took too much effort to avoid his gaze like this. It was insane, and a wonder as to how he continues to get good grades in all his classes when it seemed that his attention never left the girl when she was around.

The owls swooped into the great hall right on time, brings a grin to Theodores face as he watched his owl perch on her shoulder and neatly give her the note.

Despite her best efforts, the girl had become attached to the bird, so she reached up and scratched beneath the owls chin. It cooed contently and Theodores jaw twitches, he'd never wanted to be a damn bird in his life.

He'd ask what was wrong with him, but he knew there was no point because she was what was wrong with him. And he wouldn't be right until she was his. Not that she wasn't his already.

"Are you listening?" A blonde Slytherin girl snapped her fingers in front of Theodores face and his lips twisted into an annoyed frown. Blondie, as Theo had been calling her since he could not remember her name, would not leave him alone.

She claims that they had slept together once, and that it was the best thing she had ever experienced and that after months of denial she had finally realized that they were meant to be. Theodore thought the girl must be more delusional than him, and that's saying something.

Apparently the girl had been living under a rock since they're supposed "Best Night of Her Life" because everyone in Hogwarts knew Theo was more than obsessed with Y/N, and nearly everyone backed off, not bothering to shoot their shot with her or Theodore.

But there were still a few idiots, like Blondie beside him. "Teddy!" She whines and Theo cringes at the sound. He hated that nickname. It was ridiculous and childish.

Still, he ignored her, watching as his girl put off reading the note he'd written for her. The Blondie surprised him, by touching him. She had grabbed his chin, yanking his head towards her and forcing him to take his eyes off of his girl.

Did she have a death wish?

Theo didn't hold back his glare as he looked down his nose at her. He grabbed her wrist roughly and pulled her hand away from him. Her needy look paled and turned into something fearful, "Do not touch me." He utters the words low and threateningly.

"B-b-but-" She stutters, "But-"

"B-b-b- spit it out!" He snarls and she winces, perhaps he was being too harsh. But if he were anything less then she'd think she had a chance and Blondie needed to know that there was no one for him than the girl who had his owl perched on her shoulder.

"She!" She points across the room, "She touches you!" At this a smile touches Theos lips. Damn right she touched him, sure it was only her slapping, pinching his side, pulling at a strand of hair, and pushing him into fountains and other things, but she touched him nonetheless. And she'd touch him much more if Theo got his way.

"And only her." He says simply, then releases her wrist like she burned him, "Now leave me alone. And get rid of the ridiculous notion that we're soulmates, because my soulmate is sitting right over there." He points across the room, extending his arm fully, with the full intention of others seeing. He knew many people were listening in on the conversation.

Good, he thought. Let this be a message, let everyone know that she is his as he is hers.

That's it for this fic. Dunno how to continue. Might make another one, this is the second one and a follow up from this fic.

Also, sorry if it's a little confusing. I really hate using 'Y/N'

[chiliyue-archived]

Hiraeth

↬ he can't stop returning back to you

Includes; PM!Dazai

Entry; 💭 - thoughts not said outloud + ❛ i’m scared of ending up alone. ❜

[Event Navi | M.List] | [Bsd M.List] ♡

-

Dazai has been doing this far too often. And he knows it. Showing up to your living quarters rather than his storage container at the dead of night. Despite himself, it became a perpetual cycle that he had found to be powerless to break away from - acting as the puppeteer to his earthen desires that wilted with passing graces.

The crickets that usually filled his solitude came to increasingly accommodate you as a change. Unknowingly, you became a resurgence within his mind. And before he could even realize it, his legs had led him aimlessly back to you.

Pushing you away wasn't as easy as he thought - and the question if that was a good or bad thing hung in the silence.

Cotton Fingers peeled open the door, exposing his one eye to your slumbering figure. You were perched on the left side of the bed - it became a habit you acquired ever since Dazai has started to fancy your presence and found himself lying in that vacant spot beside you. However, he was never at the mercy of rest; his milky eye would gaze at the ceiling until rays of orange and gold leaked through the binds. That was always his sign of departure, leaving more weary and in search of an abstruse answer.

On the days he wasn't so hapless, his rest often came at the expense of nightmares; losing you to a power far greater than the demon prodigy. He couldn't really pinpoint when he became so attached to you.

Perhaps it was an accumulation of many things that gave sway to his blocked heart. The first time he let you dress his wounds, watching with catious eyes as you carefully nurtured him back to his second skin of gauze. Maybe it was in the way you didn't seem perturbed by the ugliness that was hidden beneath, punctuated by the soft feathery trailing of your fingertips against the molded scars.

Perhaps it was the kisses you pressed on his cheeks and creased forehead, bathing him in your attention devoid of the pain he was accustomed to. Not many escaped his touch unscathed, and yet yours was a drug he chased after incessantly.

Or maybe it was the first time the name 'Osamu' slipped from your lips in sincerity. Dazai almost hated the way he wanted to hear you say it again - to provoke that gentle tickle that became distinguished in his chest when he was with you.

But as much as he conjectured on the potiental answer, it had always remained to be an inquiry that probed the back of his head. Far too complex for even his great intellect, it was both vexing and equal parts a craving.

Dazai made work of shrugging off his coat, the article feeling unnecessary heavy on his taut shoulders. His shoes were already long abandoned, tossed in the genkan beside yours in a lax manner. He's done it so many times that it felt like second nature.

It was quickly followed by the pulling of his tie, the windsor knot becoming a peice of flimsy material and discarded on the small nearby table.

It was the same piece of furniture the two of you would cramp up together and eat cheap takeout or meals crafted by your hands. Regardless of the quality it was a change that filled up his stomach - unlike the cans of crab that littered his home acting as taunting reminders of his position.

He wordlessly slipped beside you, muscle memory coaxing him to curl around your body. His fingers instinctively took place in your hands. Limbs that were so accustomed to yielding instruments of death became fidgety against your own. His pinky mindlessly flexed around your joints, his thumb drawing out the contours.

For reasons he struggled to fathom, he couldn't quite bring himself to look at you. Not in a detested form of manner, but rather for the vulnerability that came if he risked a glance. To see you curled up beside him, dozing in your dreams and feeling secure even with the mafioso beside you. Selfishly, he pondered if you dreamed of him; perhaps immersed in an abstract reality far more promising than whatever this was.

" I'm back." His voice came out as a mumble despite knowing you couldn't hear him. Outloud, the words felt more like an indulgence to himself than anything.

His head leaned forward, his forehead making contact with your hair. The vacuous plaster of his lips remained; however, his eyes became glazed in a spur of intangible emotions. He chose to ignore the way his body hugged closer to you, legs sweeping over yours in a tangle of limbs. He didn't make an attempt to resist it either.

He allowed the silence to suspend the moment, nose nestling into the back of your head and absorbing your presence in silent fear of it being ephemeral. The weight of you being taken from him was always present, and he wasn't sure what he would do if that came into fruition. Just thinking of it rooted its probability deep within his mind and jutted a frown on his face.

Dazai felt his heart stutter when you habitually snuggled into him, light murmurs slipping from your lips. Even if your subconscious you gave him slices of your affection that made him gnaw in reproof yearning.

" Don't disappear on me, okay?" His voice was muffled against your skin, fingers weaving into your own properly.

Under normal circumstances he would have chastised himself for exhibiting such softness; cautioning himself to be more prudent even in your assuaging amity. But it felt terribly easy now to recite those words, even when doused in raw honest undertones.

" I'm scared of ending up alone." Again. He inwardly added, squeezing his eye shut. His voice was small, uncharacteristic of the teasing tone that laced his tongue. No snarky comment, flirty one-liners or fallacious words. He pressed a peck to the crown of your head as though sealing the daunting declaration with verdity.

He was unsure how much time passed but Dazai cradled close to you, whispering light phrases under breath, not yet prepared to voice them properly to you. Truthfully, he was addicted to you, and he briefly wondered what he did to find himself in this moment. Rummaging his mind did little to alleviate his pondering, but it did swarm his heart with an abnormal amass of warmth. A wistful expression would consume him the more he reflected upon your shared moments.

He wasn't some port mafia executive, he was Osamu Dazai in your embrace. And he selfishly desired for that not to change. For the sun to not rise just so he may soak in your attention with greed and rest his head against your shoulder. He wishes to hear your pulse in his ear, to remind him that you're very much real.

He almost can't stop the guilty grin that stretches on his cheeks when the familiar rhythm resonates in his ear. And contrary to the abode you provide him, it also makes his throat go dry and threaten to squeeze his breath away - unsure how long you will remain in his arms.

When you nuzzled your back into his chest, he couldn't help but squeeze your hands, his lips falling on that pulse point on your shoulder. Even if he wasn't able to sleep, his gaze inched closer to you, committing your small details to memory before flickering back to the ceiling. But more and more he came to immerse himself in your person both willingly and subconsciously.

He never meant to get attached, but maybe if it was you, it wouldn't be so bad.

-

Erm. I wrote this at 2am , idk if this even makes sense 💀

Event Taglist; @eynnwwyjth @himebwrries @seiiblue

If you wish to be added or removed, comment on this post !

[theninth09]

theo and liam both constantly trying to prove themselves and expecting punishment.

theos inferiority complex. "because im not a real werewolf?" obviously asked with disdain and insecurity. his voice trembling when he says "i-im not a failure" when the dread doctors classify him as such. his goal of becoming an alpha not because he actually wants power, but because he wants to be stop feeling helpless. he wants to be in control, he wants to stop having to fear that he'll get killed in case he IS a failure. and in s6 he keeps trying to prove himself, to the pack liam this time. liam keeps lashing out (bc hes in denial and telling himself he shouldnt trust or like theo) and theo barely ever reacts, just keeps softly looking at him and never rises to the bait. he wants to be useful, he wants to belong. he wants to be close to liam.

ive already briefly talked about theos relationship with pain in a different post, but just to reiterate: his non-stop provoking words so that people (malia, stiles, liam) punch him, laughing when his bones break, saying "maybe it only responds to pain" about the captured ghostrider and when he said "physical pain becomes manageable." yeah. he definitely got tortured by the dread doctors as punishment. and he probably thinks he deserved it.

liams fear of getting punished/thinking he deserves to be punished. the way he asks "are you mad at me?" with the smallest voice and the saddest look on his face. as if hes used to getting harsh reactions (liams bio dad that we dont know anything about?? yeah.) and in this instance, it wasnt even his fault. his IED wasnt the reason he got into a fight with someone, he didnt even hurt anyone accidentally. liam is the one who got hurt and still, he asks his dad if hes mad, expecting punishment. when hes down in the well and hurts himself punching the wall, he thinks back to his dad telling him that when kids get angry, they either hurt others or themselves. how many times has liam hurt himself during or after an outburst? punishing himself for being the way that he is, for hurting others when he doesnt want to.

liam taking the beating from gabe & nolan is another example of this. thinking hes at fault, that he deserved to get beaten as punishment for bretts and loris death.

in s5b when scott tells him that he hasnt actually apologized yet and liam explains that he feels like he has to do more. that he has to save his life in order to repay him for the damage. and thats probably how most of liams life has been. constantly doing favors, offering help and working himself to the bone trying to atone for what he thinks hes done wrong. the idea of verbally apologizing bringing him shame and guilt, so he just tries to make it better with his actions. even though its not his fault, even though he doesnt have control over it. he just wants to be good. he wants to belong.

[judesmoonbeauty]

Ghost House Report: A Requiem For You - Jude Jazza Premium End

Fan translation only. Not 100% accurate. Please expect grammatical errors. Cybird owns everything. Feel free to re-blog, but please do not post my translations elsewhere. If you'd like to be added to my translations tag list, please comment below.Thank you, for you support! ☾.

CW: Corpse, Death.

Anne: I couldn't keep my promise to my papa to be a good girl and wait for him...

Anne looked down at her corpse and muttered to herself.

Jude: Anne, ya turned into a ghost ‘n waited for him…….It was your father that didn’t keep his promise.

Anne: You’re wrong! My papa never breaks his promises!

Anne: I’m not lying to you, Cross my heart and hope to die,

Anne: stick a needle in my eye. ……that’s what he promised!

Anne: Someday, he’ll definitely come to pick me up……!

Kate: Anne……

Anne probably loves her father and wants to tell him that.

However, the mansion's investigation records did not contain any reports of girls going missing in the past.

Objectively speaking, her father did not come to pick her up, nor did he look for Anne, who died here.

Anne: But……I’m tired of waiting.

Kate: What……?

Anne: I’m talking about my papa, but I’m already dead and I can’t leave the mansion……

Anne: ……Since I’m tired, I think I should give up.

Kate: That……

Jude: …………

Anne: Miss Kate and Mister Jude’s coming here may be a good chance.

Anne: Now at the end, thank you for the fun memories……

Smiling sadly, Anne gradually disappears.

(Anne will disappear just like this……?)

(She waited and waited and waited for her father, but he never showed up……)

(….I can't overlook such a sad ending!)

Kate: Wait!

I stretched out my hand towards Anne as she disappeared.

Anne was surprised by my voice that held her back, and her transparent body gradually returned to normal.

Kate: I'll find your father and bring him to you, so please wait until then.

Judging from the condition of her body, Anne must have been dead for decades.

If it was that long ago, we wouldn't know if Anne’s father was still alive.

But, I couldn't leave Anne alone, who had kept waiting for her father.

Kate: Jude, quit being silent and say something!

Jude: …..? What?

Kate: I’ll let you meet your father. Jude, that’s what you promised.

For a while now, Jude hasn’t been acting like Jude.

Even though he usually places so much emphasis on keeping his promises,

When Anne grew tired of waiting and tried to disappear, he didn't try to stop her.

Kate: Are you willing to break your promise? Are you giving up before you take action? That Jude!**

Jude: ……What’s that, ya tryna provoke me by givin’ me a bad name?

Kate: Yes, I’m provoking you!

Kate: Usually, you’ve would’ve dragged the father over here.

(I don't know what killed Jude's spirit.)

(……But in order to find the father, I need Jude’s help.)

I thought I had to do something to get Jude motivated, so I went for it.

Jude: ……Ha. Seems like you’ve started sayin’ some pretty big things.

Kate: Sorry……but, I won’t take it back. Because right now these are the words you need, Jude.

When I finished speaking, Jude finally gave me his usual cruel smile.

Jude: —Anne. As she said, I never break my promises.

Jude: As promised, I’ll letcha meet your father.

Anne: ……Really? I’ll be able to meet my papa?

Anne: Ah! I’m a ghost, but I won't curse you two just because you broke your promise to bring my papa.

Kate: ……That’s not it. We’re not keeping our promise because we’re afraid of you being a ghost, Anne.

I didn't want Anne to cry, I wanted her to have hope, so I promised her that I would let her meet her father.

I simply wanted her to meet her father.

Kate: I’m keep my promise not because I'm afraid of being cursed, but because I want to do something for you.

Anne: …….,Thank you. Miss Kate and Mister Jude.

Jude: Now to set a date for the meet up.

Anne: ……date? .......

Jude: The point of when the promise is fulfilled.

Jude: Anne, remember. When ya make an agreement like this, ya hafta to be very clear ‘bout the terms.

Jude: Didn't ya hafta wait for years?

Anne: ……Yeah.

Anne: Papa said he would come, but it was really hard to wait for a promise that I didn’t know when it would come true.…..

Jude: ……I understand.

(Jude……?)

Jude: If ya can wait that long, be patient a lil longer.

Jude: I’ll definitely return, so be a good kid ‘n wait.

Anne: Yeah……!

Leaving Anne at the mansion, we finished the investigation and returned to Crown Castle.

Kate: Jude, let’s look for Anne’s father right away!

Kate: I'm going to ask Victor now for permission to view past records—

Jude: No, I’ve already found her father.

Kate: Huh…….already?!

Jude: The necklace hangin’ on Anne’s neck.

Kate: Ah, it’s Anne’s mother’s necklace.

Kate: She said she secretly took it from her Father……

Kate: …….Yeah? Come to think of it, you were also looking for a necklace.

Kate: Maybe it's the necklace that Anne was wearing.…..

Jude: T’was the same necklace I was asked to look for.

Jude: The wealthy ol’ man who asked me to find the belongin’s would be Anne's father.

Jude: Gonna leave ‘n see ‘im soon. Get depressed ‘n I’ll leave ya behind.

We traveled by carriage and arrived at the mansion of the wealthy man.

Wealthy Old Man: Don’t you think it’s rude of you to ask for me this late at night?

Jude: I finished looking for the belongings that were part of the conditions set for the land sale. I’d like you to check it out as soon as possible.**

Wealthy Old Man: You’ve found my wife’s belongings?! I guess it can’t be helped……

Jude: Here it is……Take it, and look it over.

Wealthy Old Man: Let’s see.

The old man takes the necklace from Jude, and carefully inspects it.

(This person is Anne’s father. ……He looks to be around 80 years old.)

(……Anne had been waiting for a long time.)

When I think about Anne waiting for her father in that gloomy mansion, my heart breaks.

Wealthy Old man: ……This is my wife’s necklace. You found it for me.

Jude: About that, there’s something I’d like to tell you.

Jude: I'd like to speak to you at the location where the necklace was found... Would you mind coming?

Wealthy Old Man: That haunted house... my wife's precious belongings have finally returned. I don’t mind if it’s just for a little while.

While occasionally lending a shoulder to the crippled old man, we brought him to the hidden room in the haunted mansion.

Wealthy Old Man: We’ve come this far. Can you tell me the story now?

Jude: Yes. By all means……talk to her.

Wealthy Old Man: Her……?

The old man looked up, and there stood Anne.

Anne: Papa……!

Even though he's gotten older and his appearance has changed, Anne seems to still recognize her father.

She happily jumped onto the old man.

Wealthy Old Man: C-could this be……Anne……?!

Anne: Yeah! You finally came to pick me up as promised……!

Wealthy Old Man: Promise……

Anne: I believed you! That you’d come for me, Papa!

The old man who had a look of shock on his face didn't hug Anne back.

Anne: ……Papa, I have to apologize for something.

Anne: The day I said goodbye to you, Papa, I had taken mama’s necklace. Can you forgive me?

Wealthy Old Man: Oh, oh, of course........I also have to apologize to you, Anne.

Anne: About being late to pick me up? That’s okay! After all, you came to pick me up properly!

Anne: Thank you, Papa. I love you very very much……

Anne: And then….Miss Kate, Mister Jude. Thank you for bringing my papa.

Anne smiled happily and disappeared with a light.

Jude: ……So? What on earth were ya doin’ waitin’ until ya were this ol’ to come ‘n get her?

Wealthy Old Man: Well, that's... I was looking for Anne, who disappeared after I sold her to the owner of this mansion.

Jude kicked a chair in the room as if to interrupt the old man's words.

Wealthy Old Man: Eek!

Jude: All ya asked me to do was search for your wife’s belongins’…...

Jude: Ever since ya sold Anne to the owner of this mansion, ya ain’t ever looked for her.

Wealthy Old Man: I-I couldn’t love that child.

Wealthy Old Man: My wife died after she gave birth to that child, and I thought that child had killed my wife. So……

Jude: Then ya sold Anne to the owner of this mansion, ‘n used the money to start a successful business.

Jude: Ya happy thatcha got rich by sacrificin’ your kid?

Wealthy Old Man: I-I let her go because I was thinking of that child’s happiness!

Wealthy Old Man: I didn’t think was good for that child to be raised without love.

Jude: ……So ya tryin’ to say it ain’t your fault.

Jude's earthy voice oozed with unconcealed murderous intent.

Jude: Ain’t no way a child can be happy if someone buys ‘em for a pittance.

Wealthy Old Man: That’s……

Perhaps out of guilt, the old man’s eyes wandered around.

He probably knew what would become of Anne, when he sold her to the owner of the mansion.

Kate: That’s too cruel…….Anne’s been waiting for you for a long time……!

Wealthy Old Man: I feel sorry..…. Let's bury the body next to my wife's grave.

The old man looked at the body resting in the corner of the room and quickly looked away, as if he couldn't bear to look at it.

(There’s no sign of mourning for the departed Anne……)

(……Anne’s been waiting for this type of person?)

I was filled with helpless thoughts, but there was nothing I could do..

The only consolation is that Anne smiled when she disappeared.

Jude: ……That’s ‘nough. My business is finished, I’m goin’ home.

Jude suddenly seems to have lost interest and turns on his heel. I followed after him.

Wealthy Old Man: Well, wait. I have a bad foot. I need you to lend me a hand when I go home.

Jude: It’d be nice is somebody came back to pick ya up.

Wealthy Old Man: …….You over there, lend me a hand.

When Jude refused, the old man tried to rely on me.

But, I didn’t want to help him because of what he did to Anne.

As I was wondering how to refuse, Jude grabbed my arm and forcibly led me out.

On the way back home in the carriage, Jude still had a grim expression on his face.

(There was something I wanted to ask Jude, but it didn't seem like I could ask him.)

Jude: ……What. Got somethin’ to say, then say it.

Kate: S-sorry……Um……

Kate: Jude you weren’t like your usual self, you were being lenient, so I wondered why……

Jude likes to make rich people who sit safely in high places to despair.

He’s said before that he’ll never forgive a contract defaulter.

Anne's father fits those two conditions perfectly.

However, Jude didn't push him into a corner or torture him any more than necessary.

Jude: Personally, I was so angry I wanted to kill ‘im.

Jude: But, Anne doesn’t want that.

Kate: Ah……

(……It’s true that Anne loved her father until the end.)

(No matter how angry we are, Anne doesn't want her father to suffer.)

(Instead of being consumed by anger, Jude was thinking about Anne's feelings……)

When I think about Anne, I’m not in the mood to chat.

A quiet moment passed without either of us saying anything.

I wondered how much time passed. Eventually, Jude began speaking to himself.

Jude: No matter how unreasonable it was, you wouldn’t hate it,

Jude: Waiting as a ghost for the day when the promise would be fulfilled.…..

Jude: ……Love is a curse.

After everything that happened in the haunted house was cleared up, I decided to write a report about it.

However, I quickly got stuck, so I went to the lounge for a change of pace.

Jude: ……Ya look gloomy. Still thinkin’ ‘bout the kid?

Kate: ……Yes.

Anne met her father and ascended to heaven with a happy smile on her face.

(Anne must have been happy with that, but…… I still can't get over the feeling in my chest.)

(“Love is a curse……”)

I recall the words Jude muttered in the carriage on the way home.

No matter how unreasonable and cruel her father was, Anne loved her father and kept waiting.

On the other hand, Anne's father was worried that he would be cursed because of breaking his promise due to having no love for her.

(I think what binds people together more firmly than the fear of punishment surely is...love.)

(Jude isn’t the kind of person who is afraid of punishment.)

(If that's the case, then the promise that Jude is trying to keep was also made out of love……?)

Curious about this I looked at Jude, and our eyes met.

Jude: ……Ain’t it better to just forget?

Kate: What……?

Jude: About Anne. Worryin’ ‘bout it is a waste of time.

Kate: ……No, I won't forget.

I will never forget the smile Anne gave me and the time we spent together.

Kate: I will make sure to record this incident in the report, and then……

Kate: I will do my best as a fairytale writer to ensure that such a tragic event is never recorded again.

Kate: I believe that if we use the Crown to defeat evil, we can nip these tragedies in the bud.

Jude: ……Ha. It’d be easier to forget, but I as I thought, you’re a masochist for choosin’ the thorny path.

Jude said in exasperation and left the common room.

Kate: This is fine……

After struggling for several days.…..I finished writing the report on the haunted mansion.

(When I finish writing the report, I always feel like the incident has come to a close.…..)

(.…..I don't think I'll be able to forget this incident any time soon.)

Her father will soon be tried on charges of human-trafficking for selling Anne to the mansion’s owner.

But he doesn't have long to live. Even if he does atone for his sins, it won't be for very long.

(Anne was made to suffer, so is it cruel to want someone to suffer just as much…..)

(……It’s no use. I can’t sleep while thinking about this.)

It felt like my thoughts were getting darker and more stagnant, perhaps because of the silence of the night.

When I headed to the kitchen to get something to drink to refresh my mood,

Victor was there humming while making sweets.

Victor: Oh, good evening Kate. Are you staying up late tonight?

Kate: Yes. I can’t sleep……

Victor: Jude had the same look on his face as you. It must be because of that haunted house mission you two recently did.

For the past few days, I've been going back and forth between the library and my room to finish writing my report.

I never met Jude, so I didn't know what was going on with him.

(I wonder if Jude feels the same way as me.)

Kate: ……Victor, I'm going to check on Jude.

Sorry for the delay. There were several lines that were quite a challenge to translate. Can't wait to see the EN version to be released and see how off I am. Anyway....

**Jude appears to be using proper English when addressing Anne's sperm donor at the start of their conversation, and then he appears to drop it after she ascends to heaven. ***For this line, 御託はええわ (Gotaku wa ewa), was placed before Jude said he was only told to look for the necklace, but I chose to drop this from the t/l. It seems to indicate pretentious/tedious/saucy speech to name a few. It would appear Jude is calling the donor's response tedious, however, this can potentially be translated another way, and I won't bore you with that. But, if anyone knows how, this is rendered properly, kindly let me know in the comments.

[Master Lists] [Bitter End] [Epilogue] Tag List: @theimaginativelyreticent @sapphire-323 Dividers: @/brokenbard

[lightwise]

Hidden Monsters

For some reason this has been a bear (dragon, Vrathean, pick your Star Wars creature) to write, but I realized after this last episode of TBB that there was more to the “monster of the week” trope that we all love to get tired of in Star Wars, and specifically for our beloved Batch members. I believe that some of the main “monsters” each member of the Batch has faced and could face represent inner turmoil and the storms/dark things within that each of them has had to wrestle with. The choices each of them have made to tame or calm or live with the creatures they have encountered, instead of automatically killing them or choosing violence against them, is a powerful metaphor. Something that looks like a monster on the outside may not necessarily be a monster on the inside, when cared for and acknowledged properly. 

Echo and the Rishi Eel

Echo’s very first mission on Rishi station involved a giant monster, a droid army invasion, watching his superior officer die in front of him, and losing most of his squad along with the entire outpost he had been assigned to help defend. After the Rishi station is overrun by battle droids, Echo, Fives, Hevy, and Cutup escape through an air vent only to land in the middle of what turns out to be the Rishi eel’s nest. Echo is second to last in line and has to watch as Cutup is snatched up by the eel right behind him and swallowed whole. Echo is the only one to look back and commemorate Cutup with his name and a sigh before they have to keep moving. He does the same at the end of the episode when they lose Hevy, thanking him for his self sacrifice. Echo’s mind—strategic, careful, hesitant, wanting to do the right thing—is always on his brothers and their safety, and his own fears and questioning give way to courage and determination as he watches his brothers do what needs to be done.  

This formative experience is literally emblazoned on Echo’s chest and becomes part of his identity when Rex shoots the eel in the eye, wipes some of its blood on his hand, and presses it against Echo’s armor as he encourages him to keep going. This combination of bravery, looking death in the eye, and holding compassion for each of his brothers as they fall continues to be a running theme throughout Echo’s character arc—from holding 99 in his arms as he dies, to hanging in the Techno Union chamber where his mind and body were used to hunt down the brothers he loved, to overcoming the changes and loss he’s experienced and finding a new family with the Batch and Omega, to coming full circle and joining Rex to help free his brothers from the Empire’s grip. He has had to watch as brother after brother is taken away from him, but he has learned how to keep going in the face of loss. These experiences bring out who he is—caring, loyal, brave, resolute, and a symbol of endurance—and trace back to the very first monster he had to face. 

Hunter, Omega, and the Ordo Moon Dragon

In season 1 the Batch is newly on the run from Kamino after Order 66, finding Omega, and losing Crosshair. They crash onto an uninhabited planet and while trying to repair their ship, an Ordo Moon Dragon makes off with their capacitor, leaving them stranded. Like the Zillo beast seen in season 2, it feeds on energy but is actually peaceful when not provoked. Hunter wants to track it down, by himself, but Omega insists on accompanying him. While tracking the creature, Omega brings up Crosshair’s absence, and Hunter is unwilling to even say Crosshair’s name, and he is very uncomfortable with the conversation. He is unwilling and unable to face his demons right now, and instead is wallowing in self-blame. Hunter won’t be able to fully face his inner turmoil until Crosshair returns and they encounter the Wyrm on Barton IV, another dragon-like creature which also burrows underground (although it is much, much larger, and more harmful than the Ordo Moon Dragon, signifying how much Hunter’s avoidance and resentment grows over time as it is not dealt with). It’s also interesting that this episode cuts back and forth to Crosshair fully under the influence of the chip and wiping out Saw Gurerra’s insurgents in a very violent manner. 

Hunter ends up being knocked out by the creature and Omega takes her flashlight and his blaster to complete the mission, going alone into the tunnels where the dragon lives. What Omega learns is that she doesn’t need the blaster to deal with the situation. As scary as it is, she doesn’t have to kill the dragon or use violence against it, as it’s simply hungry and looking for food. The terrifying creature becomes a thing of beauty, green electric shocks running over its rainbow colored body, illuminating the tunnel and Omega’s face as it feeds on the flashlight she throws to it in exchange for their capacitor. The visuals mimic the teal and green rippling over the Vrathean that Omega and Ventress encounter and have to calm down in season 3 (more on that further on). 

However, this wasn’t Omega’s mission. It was Hunter’s, but she ends up completing it for him. Omega learns a valuable lesson here, which fits in with her natural tendencies of drawing both people and animals to her caring, compassionate nature instead of judging them based on appearance, but I’m not sure that this was her ultimate trial in facing her own inner demons. (See my thoughts on why this is important at the end of this essay in the Ventress section.) This also was a failed attempt for Hunter, and he would end up facing his trial again in The Return in season 3. 

Wrecker and the Rancor (Muchi)

Wrecker was introduced as a character whose expertise is in explosives and making things blow up. He lives for making a ruckus and having a good time, but his strengths are engineered to be used for destruction. 

Much of Wrecker’s character arc in season 1 is learning how to become more of an adult/parental figure for Omega, and how to put his own desires and needs aside in order to help take care of hers (letting her eat first, making a room for her in the gunners nest, watching out for her). In Rampage, the Batch is charged with rescuing a “child,” who they eventually find out is a young, ornery, and decidedly huge Rancor. Wrecker is the only one of them strong enough to sedate the creature after a lengthy bout of essentially hand to hand “combat.” They needed to bring Muchi back alive and Wrecker ends up gaining mutual affection and respect with her. Muchi is now calm and tamed enough that Omega can ride on her back with no fear or worry of danger.

Rancors adhere to a strict social and familial hierarchy, and have to challenge the alpha for authority. Wrecker starts out brash and boastful, and even though he is always caring, he becomes much more aware of his surroundings and his standing in their family unit as he grows in his responsibilities toward Omega. Rampage is shortly before his chip goes off, where he almost kills his entire squad. While his brute strength is an asset when used in the right ways, it is lethal if used for the wrong ones, and through his family bonds (especially with Omega) Wrecker is ultimately able to overcome the worst, chipped version of who he had been made to be, and instead be a source of safety and strength for Omega and his family. 

Tech and the Zillo Beast

The Zillo beast is a marvel amongst Star Wars creatures. Its armor is impenetrable and highly valuable, and it feeds almost exclusively on energy, which allows it to become larger and morph into an even more powerful creature. When the Batch encounters it in season 2 in Metamorphasis, it tries to attack all of them, but Tech is the only one who is “fascinated” by the creature rather than scared of it. Similar to the Zillo beast feeding on energy, Tech’s mind was what he was known for, and he “fed” it by constantly consuming and integrating data about the world around him (which is transmitted by energy currents). During this episode Tech is confident in his own capabilities and extremely interested in learning more about the cloning technologies they were uncovering on this crashed ship. Tech’s research on the Zillo beast, while helpful, unfortunately comes too late and the Batch are unable to either put down or recapture the creature before it grows too strong for them to deal with. In the process, the Zillo beast escapes and is eventually recaptured by the Empire.

I’ve always been fascinated by the point in this episode where Tech is downloading the rest of the information from the terminal onto his data pad, and Hunter warns Omega that Imperials are inbound. She immediately tells Tech they need to go, and he refuses for a moment, saying he needs to finish capturing the data. If Omega did not pressure him to leave (and the electricity go out), he very well could have been standing there when ships bomb their location a few moments later, and gotten both himself and Omega killed for no good reason. At this moment his love of knowledge is overpowering his common sense and his love for his family, and it almost costs him everything. 

Contrast this to a few moments later when he pulls Omega out of danger as they leave the ship, and Plan 99 when he chooses to sacrifice himself not for his own gain, but solely so his family has a chance to live. He had to face his greatest asset where it could also be his greatest failure, and learn how to prioritize and wield his strengths. 

Crosshair and the Vulture 

In The Outpost in season 2, Crosshair has spent almost two seasons engulfed in poor choices made both against his will (the chip), and of his own volition (staying with the Empire no matter what in pursuit of a sense of purpose and loyalty). His decisions are starting to grate on him and have led him down a dark path, but he hasn’t been fully ready to find a way to change them. When he lands on the icy planet of Barton IV, he encounters fearsome ice vultures shrieking overhead. He is told by the outpost’s commanding clone officer, Mayday, that the creatures are vicious, but admirable, because they find a way to survive. 

Vultures signify both death and cleansing and are often feared and viewed with disgust, yet are an integral part of nature. Crosshair’s isolation and status as a clone soldier have put him in a precarious and often misjudged position, in ways he doesn’t even fully realize until this episode. His very life is in danger due to the Empire’s stance toward the clones, but so far Crosshair has believed that he is valuable to the Empire in ways that the regular clones are not. This attitude and perspective are severely challenged by Lieutenant Nolan, who speaks contemptuously both about and to every clone he encounters. Nolan’s lack of respect for them as soldiers, as officers, and even as people, is an extreme look at what Crosshair’s callousness and misplaced loyalty could lead him to if he is not careful. His fate is hanging in the balance.

After being sent on an inhumane mission to retrieve two crates of armor in a blinding snowstorm, Crosshair and Mayday are caught in an avalanche. After coming up out of the snow gasping for air, Crosshair could choose to get himself back to base and leave Mayday behind. Find a way to survive in the cold on his own, but kill the last of his compassion and personal values in the process. Instead, he chooses to put his life even more at risk to bring Mayday along with him. 

Unfortunately for both of them, when they get back to base, Nolan has zero sympathy for their self-sacrifice, and allows Mayday to die unceremoniously on the platform from his wounds. Once again, a vulture is circling overhead, waiting to partake of its next meal. It signifies the threat of death but also Crosshair’s struggle and desire to survive. Crosshair is now staring his own lack of value and expendability in the face, and where he finds himself is now fully intolerable. He cannot continue on the way he has been without the very essence of who he is breaking irreparably in the process. Does he reclaim who he is, a compassionate and forceful individual who protects those he cares about? Or does he fall in line with what the Empire wants from him, knowing he will be discarded regardless?

Crosshair integrates his lesson in a visceral manner, his own personal traits mimicking the very essence of the ice vulture as he finally reorients his moral compass, takes a stand for himself and for his clone brothers, and takes vengeance on Lieutenant Nolan. His caution and inner turmoil are channeled into one desperate act as he becomes an agent/angel of death, the framing of the scene creating vulture-like wings spread on either side of him. He doesn’t expect to survive this encounter, choosing a path that looks like death on the outside but is cleansing and redeeming for him on the inside. He can now face the future as his whole, integrated self.

Hunter, Crosshair, the Vulture, and the Wyrm 

The vulture and its meaning for Crosshair, as well as Hunter’s cut-short encounter with the Ordo Moon Dragon, both have their bookends in season 3’s episode The Return. Crosshair has seen immense character growth after his choices in The Outpost, and has not only redeemed himself but has been given the chance to start reconciling with everyone he has hurt. This episode has two creatures that serve two important purposes: the vulture returns as a metaphor for Crosshair’s need to reconcile with and forgive himself, and a new creature, a giant wyrm (nice Dune reference there, Star Wars) highlights the fractured rift between him and Hunter, and the anger, distrust, and resentment that Hunter has been running from since Aftermath. 

The Batch has returned to Barton IV, and Crosshair is greeted by the ice vulture as they land. The weather is calm and clear this time, and the creature is observing him but not in a threatening way. At the same time, tensions rise to a breaking point between Hunter and Crosshair and a long-awaited argument starts between them. Before it can be resolved, the wyrm erupts out of the ground and puts all of their lives in danger. It had been kept at bay previously by high-pitched noises, (oddly similar to Hunter’s enhanced senses, which he has been so distracted from that he wasn’t aware of the danger ahead of time) and lived underneath the same snow that had buried Crosshair and Mayday. 

In their efforts to draw the creature away from the outpost so they can turn the sensors back on, Hunter falls through the snow into the wyrm’s tunnels. Crosshair has already had his inner journey underneath the snow on Barton IV. This time, Hunter has to finally face his own struggles. Every step of the way he has been running and hiding, trying to keep his family and Omega safe by keeping them away from the Empire, away from Crosshair, away from danger, but failing miserably. This time, Hunter could simply let Crosshair haul him back up to the surface when he reaches the spot where Crosshair and Batcher have dug a hole in the ice to pull him out. But he hasn’t confirmed that the wyrm is actually past the boundary and that it is safe to turn the perimeter sensors back on. This time, Hunter stays below the surface, and keeps himself in harms way until he is absolutely sure that his family is safe and that his own emotions have been worked through. He is starting to take responsibility for his journey. His senses start to kick in again and he refuses to leave the tunnel until the wyrm is barreling down his neck, and then he finally accepts Crosshair’s help. Both of them run to safety, the perimeter beacons turn on, and the wyrm is now on the other side of an invisible barrier of sound, harmless and chastened until it finally slinks away. 

The boys exchange glances and nods. Their rift has been bridged and they are both willing to move forward, together. This is proven by the end of the episode, where Crosshair, who has remained closed off and unwilling to discuss what he’s been through, opens up slightly to Hunter before they leave, and Hunter responds with forgiveness, acknowledgement, and hope for the future. And for now, it’s enough. Crosshair looks into the sky and watches the ice vulture flying overhead once again. Except this time, it flies off into the sunset, signifying that his lessons from this planet have been fully learned, that the spirit of survival in the face of death that he has been carrying with him can now be put towards living and thriving again. Both Hunter and Crosshair are leaving slightly more whole than when they first arrived, both as individuals and in their restored relationship with each other. 

Ventress, Omega, and the Vrathean

Omega gets a second chance at taming a terrifying creature in The Harbinger in season 3. After Asajj Ventress shows up on Pabu to help the Batch figure out the m-count conundrum that makes Omega’s blood so valuable to the Empire, (and after Omega has begged her to stay and test her capabilities), she and Omega go out onto the ocean to test Omega’s potential Force sensitivity. (Also after Ventress had to whoop the boys’ backsides to get them to slightly trust her, but we won’t go into that here). 

Throughout this season, (and really for most of her life), Omega has…not been doing well. Her time on Tantiss, leaving the rest of the clones imprisoned there behind when she and Crosshair escaped, and the relentless pursuit of her by the Empire has truly traumatized her and made her single-mindedly want to know why she is always in danger and putting everyone else around her in danger as well. Her mental health has been spiraling a bit and her inner turmoil is starting to rival Crosshair’s in season 2. She knows that m-count is important and is also thrilled at Ventress mentioning the Jedi, while the rest of the Batch and Ventress herself are very somber about the prospect that Omega might have Force capabilities. However, in her desire to have answers, she ends up being very impatient and frustrated and doesn’t even show her typical level of optimism and concentration in working through Ventress’ tests for her. It’s almost like her goal (finding answers) is at odds with what her idea of finding those answers looks like.

After having tried and failed to “reach out” to the Force to summon anything, Omega pouts and sits back down in the boat, seemingly defeated. Ventress has asked her to try to connect to nature, probably because she has seen Omega’s connection to Batcher and assumes that might be more in line with whatever her gifting might be. Two of Omega’s main traits and strengths are her optimism in the face of defeat, and her compassion toward literally every living thing she encounters. She is always curious, generous, caring, and wanting to connect with others. Which makes it even more curious that she is so easily stumped and disconnected by this exercise. She challenges Ventress to prove why *she* is the best person to be teaching Omega this lesson, and Ventress sighs but gently and carefully shows her powers by calling up a school of glowing green fish from the water. “I’m not the one holding back,” she tells Omega.

After a peaceful moment, however, another creature, this time a giant and tentacled Vrathean, emerges from the water as well and starts hunting Ventress and Omega down. It’s unclear if Ventress actually called the creature up herself or not, but if she did it was not intentional. She helps rescue Omega from the creature’s clutches and then chooses to put herself in more danger by letting it grab her, and communing with it through the Force as it tries to eat her. The deadly creature becomes a thing of astonishing beauty as the color of the sea ripples over its body and its eyes soften and recognize Ventress as a sentient being. 

This is where it gets interesting, because this peacefulness, calm, and compassion is not something we would have associated with prior versions of Ventress. Her experiences and growth throughout the Clone Wars, her associations with Ahsoka and Quinlan, and her choices have turned her into a much softer and stronger version of herself. This has now become her trial by allowing her to showcase just how much she has changed, and how much her own worldview has flipped. 

This is an incredible example for Omega, but similar to how she took Hunter’s trial for him in Replacement, Ventress has now filled what was supposed to be hers. This begs the question, what is Omega actually holding back on? Is she really Force sensitive? Or is just her compassion and tenderness toward everyone around her overtaking her in unhealthy ways? She has always had a tendency to put herself in harms way in an attempt to make up for the complications her presence brings her brothers. 

Omega will have to face these implied monsters at some point. I’m not actually certain that she will end up facing a creature like everyone else has—there’s the possibility that because she naturally has more affinity with creatures and beings that look monstrous but really aren’t, she may end up facing her inner demons in another manner. Will it be a person instead? Or a choice? Even, might I say, an identity crisis? It remains to be seen, but the fact that she must face it in order to overcome and integrate it is unquestionable. 

[musclemanveryregular]

[ID: on the left is Skips the Yeti man, on the right is rigby the talking raccoon. /end ID]

Original poll with info for skips

Original poll with info for rigby

Master post link

A few things I forgot to mention plus scenarios below:

Skips:

-very wise, very powerful

-very level headed, takes a great deal to provoke him as a friend

--notable exception to this is cheating at arm wrestling. He straight up killed Rigby once over this

--had to beat Death in an arm wrestling contest to get him back

-often shipped with benson, which is really cute and I get it, but I also think he and Gary would make great exes back to lovers type deal

Here's what I think would have happened last week if you want to read that:

You and Skips got high together last week; it took a bit of convincing him to at least stop working for a little bit and take a break from working all the time. It took no convincing him to try a bit of weed because he read in Wizards Monthly, a magazine he recently subscribed to since the likelihood of being attacked by something magical in the park is actually pretty likely, that it could help him get in better touch with nature.

And it really did.

Because you both went exploring an ancient lost civilization while stoned out of your minds.

Rigby:

-used to shirk work, doesn't eo much anymore. To the point he once covered for mordecai for like a long ass time.

-very very good at Bank Shot, a trickshot basketball arcade game that scores your point based on throw performance.

--threw the ball so well it left to find a romantic partner, succeeded, and came back a changed basketball.

-very prone to munchies

-very disorganized, sleeps on a pile of clothes on top a trampoline for 90% of the show until the last season where suddenly the forgot how important that trampoline is to him. Seriously why? I guess you could call it part of his character growth in some way but like this is such like an autism special spot thing that it feels weird. Yes I hc him as autistic.

-anyways, also in an alternate timeline he helped fight in the resistance against an evil mordecai who was working with their old gym teacher to destroy the fabric of time itself. And eventually dies in front of current rigby. Rigby is so used to weird shit happening this has no serious long term affect on him.

Here's what I think would have happened last week if you want to read that:

Mordecai went out of town for the weekend with his new girlfriend, the mysterious bat lady, Stef, he just started seeing last week. Eileen is on a brief trip across country for her new job. Rigby is bored as shit at The House, and literally calls you up and invites you over for a smoke sesh.

You arrive, bringing your own snacks, and a bit of hash knowing the last time you hung out he had neither at the time and thats why he invited you but it was a fun enough time that going back wouldn't be such a bad thing.

Following Rigby up the stairs, he gets to his room first (go figure, he was running on all fours) and are suddenly greeted by an intense cloud of thc. Assuming you aren't allergic to weed, and you don't die immediately, you go inside the cloud into what you think is Rigby's room where you find unopened tiny bags of chips all over the room and so much hash.

One of the perks of having a super successful wife, probably.

Apparently Rigbys been smoking a lot more weed lately. You both smoke and play video games together the rest of the night.