#the jokes have made even ME concerned

[cynicalmusings]

my deepest darkest secret is that i have a timeline in my head of the development of heizou and my relationship which i haven’t told anyone before and play through my head (almost) every night before i go to sleep

(last night i went on a full, like, half-hour long ramble to myself about the intricacies of our relationship. it’s basically a queer-platonic relationship with sprinkles of romantic interaction lmao. honestly i kind of wish i’d recorded it, but it was like 1am and i couldn’t be bothered to get my phone up, plus i was whispering under my breath anyway, so any recordings would have sounded weird as hell (weirder than it already is), but… yeah. that happened.)

[crispycreambacon]

Maybe I am autistic.......

[thestarsarecool]

This just in: Yoko genuinely believes that John had a vision about a man on a flaming pie who told him the name of the Beatles.

“[John] wrote a piece called ‘On The Dubious Origins Of Beatles’, and the basic line that we all laughed at was something like “I had a vision and a man came unto me on a flaming pie and said ‘You shall be Beatles with an ‘a’, and so it was.” We took this to be Goon humour and a sort of Biblical joking – “and God said unto thee ‘come forth’, and he came fifth”. That’s very much the humour that was going around Liverpool at the time.

Now, it turned out that we couldn’t have this in the Anthology because Yoko believes that John did have a vision. I’m very friendly with Yoko now so I don’t want this to look like a snide thing, but it genuinely intrigues me that she thinks this. And the way I tried to put it to her was, you can say, “I had a vision” and people will go “OK”. You could say, “A man came unto me”. “OK, it’s starting to sound a little biblical, but it’s all right, still.” “On a flaming…”. “Yes, this is OK, it’s even more biblical”. Now, if you’d have gone to the word “chariot”, we would be all right. Or if you’d gone to the word “phoenix” we would be all right. But the word “pie” is a dead giveaway. “A man came to me on a flaming pie?” I know, in my mind, that John didn’t have a vision about this, but the way Yoko puts it is, “If it’s OK for Paul to dream ‘Yesterday’ then it’s OK for John to have a vision.” So these are the kind of things that cropped up. It’s only a difference of opinion so it doesn’t matter vastly. We’ve tried to make our point, she’s made her point and we’ve arrived somewhere in the middle.”

— Paul McCartney, Club Sandwich Interview, November 1st, 1995

[imminent-danger-came]

I don’t even ship shadowpeach but what’s with the attitude let people have fun.

The post you're talking about had a rather joking tone, so I'm just going to assume you're having a bad day! Hope it's gotten better!

[lesbiansanemi]

Okay. My roommate’s bf that is moving in in a couple weeks brought his fucking dog over today and 😭 like ig it was well behaved but the cats hated it (and both my cats are already anxious messes I dread to think of how they’ll act/what they’ll do with a brand new big stressor added) and it fucking. It fucking REEKS like dog. Like yeah it’s a dog but I haven’t been around dogs in so long I forgot how much like dogs dogs smell and 😭😭 if it’s gonna be here that means my apartment and my things and my blankets and clothes are gonna start to smell like fucking dog and I’m fjfjdjsksk I don’t like this but I’ve also said a couple times I’m not happy about the dog thing and they’re both like “haha well! He’s a good dog” and I think they think I’m kinda being jokey about it but like. No. I don’t like the fucking dog and I don’t wanna live with a dog 😭 because even if it’s super well behaved and doesn’t bother me in a literal sense I will still have to deal with the inescapable consequence of Living With a Dog in the sense of it making my cats anxious/moody/angry and my apartment smelling like it and hfjdjdjdks I don’t know what to doooooo

[angeltism]

sorry but oh my god i am CACKLING tumblr r uu serious rn

[todayisafridaynight]

three months later and i still think it wouldve been the funniest thing in the universe if daigo and masato were A Thing at any point in time

[loud-whistling-yes]

I get a lot of "omg you're so nice and non-judgemental you're such a good friend" and "omg dude you're way too nice to this asshole they should not be your friend" from irl friends and family and I don't know how to say this but uh, if you had friends like I had when I was a preteen you learn to count your blessings real fucking quickly and stop being choosy on who you befriend. The bar is six feet under by now if they don't encourage the entire class to boycott me it's a win.

[cescalr]

The amount of ideas I have for characters from media I've not even watched is bordering on the absurd at this point

[bi-panic-at-the-disco]

shotgunning a tube of strawberry mentos right now

[sureuncertainty]

i officially do not like my job at the museum anymore. the bad has outweighed the good. as soon as i can go full time for the mouse i’m gonna manifest this image

[desertdragon]

I hate raiders, mostly the hardcore's bc they're just cunts, but whenever they are in tune with looking at the game from a gameplay perspective (not just looking at logs), everything they have to report is shit I can feel even as a casual though I can't explain it as in depth as they can; and I have to agree it feels like the devs have forgotten how to make and balance a game in the last 3 years, as much as most players themselves suck at understanding and playing the fucking game (and how poor the game's learning tools and mentors are as well) since it's seen as a vehicle for story cutscenes or mashing buttons

If the gameplay keeps going dumber across the board that would take away the last legitimate reason I have to play it and surprisingly I don't like the thought of that conversation with myself

[nomairuins]

i do need 2 work on rewiring my brain so that my immediate very first thought whenever i dont do a small task (like brushing ny teeth taking a shower picking up my room etc) isnt 'We Should Kill Connor ." this would be pretty good for me to do. putting this on the list

[sxlphie]

Still haven't processed the experience of FFVII Rebirth and I literally beat it months ago. So much happened

[kavehater]

BACK TO THE BASICS !!!

[inkskinned]

it's been said before and i'm sure said better than i can phrase it. but really, really - if you like making "i'm going to kill myself" jokes, please try switching to being ironically conceited instead.

anytime something goes wrong, say things like "ah well at least i'm beautiful and charming and everyone loves me." when you forget something, try "my big huge brain is so smart and thinking about too many other very big wizardly thoughts you wouldn't even understand." when you're frustrated by one of your symptoms, start talking like you're in My Immortal. "Life has come for me but my eyes are beautiful pools of gorgeous fire and my hair is amazing. I stuck my middle finger up at life and told it to fuck off and it did."

just... try it for a month or two. try saying the most absurdly self-congratulatory shit you can think of.

i know it's tempting to make suicide or self-harm jokes. and for me at least, a decade ago (!) when someone suggested i stop making those kinds of jokes, i was kind of at a loss for what to replace them with. i wanted to make light of these moments, but genuinely (at the time) my first thought really was suicidal ideation. there was a part of me that even felt like ... i was kind of "making light" of that voice. that if i could say i want to die lol, it would help take the sting out of that genuine (albeit passive) desire. like i could turn my illness into a joke.

when i started complimenting myself instead, it felt awkward and stupid. it felt really, really ironic. what i was actually saying was nobody would ever think this stuff about me, that's what makes it so fucking funny.

but. the effect was immediate. first thing i noticed was the people around me. when i dropped a glass and said ah my skin is too beautiful and sleek the glass has swooned and broken for me, other people were suddenly overjoyed to jump in with the joke. rather than making an awkward moment, we'd both start cracking up. ah princess sleek hands, i've heard of you.

i was 19. i hadn't noticed i'd been making others tense when i said i want it all to end. i know now that it's incredibly hard to know how to walk that moment - do you talk to them about your concern? do you potentially make them uncomfortable by asking if they're okay? do you ignore the situation? do you help them pick up the glass, or do they need to do it by themselves? are they genuinely made suicidal over this small moment? and most importantly, how do you - without professional training or supplies - actually help?

most people want to help you pick up the glass in your life, they just have no fucking idea how to do it. they don't want to make anything worse. they don't want to make assumptions about you. they love you, they're scared for you - and being scared makes people kind of freeze up. it's not because they don't love you. it's because they do.

now when something bad happens, my first thought is how can i make a stupid joke about this. it isn't my brain saying you're a dumb fucking bitch. i spend more time laughing. i spend more time being gentle with myself. i spend more time feeling good.

and the thing is - what's kind of funny - is that you'd be surprised by how many people agree with you. the first time i said i'm too pretty to understand that, someone else said to be fair you're the prettiest person in this room. i promise - you really don't know how kindly your friends see you. but they love you for a reason. they sort of reverse-velveteen-rabbit you. your weird and ugly spots fade away and you just become... the love they want to give you.

go love yourself ironically. the worst thing that happens is that you end up tricking your reflection into actually loving you.