#the kinda visual shit people do its genuinely stunning

[nullapophenia]

i just fucking realized i could be gods most powerful soldier if i fucking cracked down and learned xml. i want to make isat themed notitg charts so bad

[soyouareandrewdobson]

Nintendo-vember Level 4: a last minute birthday special and opinion on Zelda

Okay so before I start this post, I should admit that I initially intented to post this one only in a couple of days, to let the previous entry settle down a bit. But as some anon made me realize, today on November 21th is actually the 25th anniversary of Ocarina of Time.

I am not going to let this chance go to waste. So enjoy this entry.

Following the Localization comic and me giving the claims of Dobson a bit of a verbal beatdown, I decided out of a certain (biased) nostalgia for the Ocarina of Time, to dive in a bit further into Dobson’s genuine disdain for the game.

For a start, I take some clues from “thehypocrisyofandrewdobson” and just point to those little posts Dobson made in regard of one videogame, that not only fans but (as I want to show later) some of the biggest game developers ever have cited as being one of the greatest ever made.

So what is it? Is it your favorite game on the N64 or an absolute pile of shit? I also find it very telling, that Dobson doesn’t give a damn about story and only visuals, at least according to the tweet.

And before you ask, no, I don’t think Shadow of the Collosus is a bad game because “it’s not Zelda” or something. I actually agree with Dobson that it is a visually stunning game. In addition it manages to tell a rather tragic and poignant tale with only minimalistic story techniques and has quite some unique platforming elements and ingenuity in order to defeat the titular creatures. But you know what is also funny? The director of the game, Fumito Ueda, cited Ocarina of Time as a major inspiration and influence of the style of the game

As did other game creators, at least according to Wikipedia. And who wouldn’t believe it? After all, OoT among other things was one of the first games back in the day to include a target lock system for fighting enemies in a 3D-environment, making it as such something of a breakthrough when many other game developers truly fumbled with the jump from a 2D environment into a proper 3D one. Not just that, it was also one of the most successful game sales of its time. The N64 version alone sold over 7.6 million copies world wide. All while also being one of the most re-released Nintendo games ever, having gotten releases on the Gamecube and a graphically updated one on the 3DS.

Anything else I want to say about OoT I want however to contextualize in the “analysis” of the following two comics made by Dobson. One SYAC related, one just Dobson whining about the things that in his opinion make OoT a terrible or great game, depending on whatever mood he has right now.

This one is just one of Dobson’s earliest SYAC comics, in which quite frankly, all he does is bemoan the fact that people hate him for his “silly” takes on things. Flying eyebrows included. Which if you are even slightly familiar with Dobson is kinda bullshit. After all, his “silly takes” and opinions included among other things bemoaning the whole of anime being garbage because he fell out of love for it and the fact people called his work derivative of anime comedy tropes of the 80s and 90s. Or outside of just his comics openly attacking fans of stuff he didn’t enjoy rather blatantly.

There is also another “funny” thing about the comic. The blond guy (one of the few blonds not demonized by Dobson through his artwork) is pointing at the Holiday comic as one example he is confused people got angry about when it comes to Dobson

The thing is, I myself can understand people calling the comic crap without genuinely being offended about the “Christmas” and Holiday thing. For starters, Danny is a genuine asshole here to the old lady, who hasn’t done anything wrong then to wish him a good time, by essentially making her believe that she did an accidental racism by saying “Merry Christmas” instead of being sensible and assume he is jewish. In addition, you could argue that Danny is doing something inappropriate too by claiming to be of another religion than he truly is, to exploit the privilege connected to it to shame someone.

Lastly, it is hilarious how Dobson wants to “stand up” for non Christians on the holidays, when people at this point likely knew of the Channukah incident, that happened a few years BEFORE the comic was published

But again, I digress. Anyway, Dobson’s choice of the topic of OoT is in my opinion more than deliberate, even if Dobson claims that the only reason he did so was, because the comic is partly based on real events.

I get the feeling that was not really all that happened, because who in their right mind would not try to elaborate on their point. And even if the person in question just yelled at Dobson and then moved away, the strawman argument the (of course) uglified strawman nerd makes in the comic is not entirely wrong.

Look, say about OoT whatever you will. Perhaps it is not the best (Zelda) game ever (cause what accounts for “the greatest game ever” in a series or in general is partly based a lot on personal bias as well as the point in time it came out) but I think the following two things ring true:

At least storywise, it was a massive step up from previous Zelda games (especially the very first two of the NES days) and to a degree held the title of the “most complex” storydriven  and “technically less flawed” Zelda compared to some other games that followed in the series for quite a few years. At least Wind Waker based on what I heard (haven’t played it yet, sorry) had a few flaws like the sailing and fishing for items mechanic that nudged the game down a bit, despite how many people consider it a great game in the franchise now. Twilight Princess was widely considered a spiritual successor to Ocarina, but some people complained about a too dark presentation or were even annoyed about Midna. And Skyward Sword’s original controls and the entire thing about Demise hasn’t sit too well with some people either. Mind you, this doesn’t mean I think the games are crap and Twilight Princess is in fact one I want to revisit soon again, now that I am in the mood thanks to the review.

The second thing, it did have a massive impact on the Zelda franchise. Many of the things that kinda make the world of Hyrule way more fleshed out and as such contribute to the fun of the games, found their roots in the game. Things Dobson btw may claim to enjoy in Breath of the Wild, but as evident by that comic I now present hates.

And in order to make my point, I combine what those elements are, while also dissecting the comic that is the true main point of this entire post, panel by panel

First, the “derpy Goron” thing. So, you don’t like the Gorons? Okay, fine, you do you. But why is your idea to show why you think they suck to give them derp-face and portray them as “dumb? Sure, they are simple minded in a manner in the game, but not like that?

If anything, Dobson’s choice of facial expression and the “DUH” implies that he wants to use the word retarted to describe them. Which you know, kinda offensive. And also hypocritical, as Dobson would show down the line in life that just even the word “derpy” to use to describe a character, would in his mind be problematic.

As evident by the following MLP related posts provided by Hypocrisy, that show his dA journal expressed opinion on the Derpy Hooves controversy of 2012

In addition, hating the Gorons? Why? I admit, I did not think too much of Goron City as a location. It is a cave system in form of a hole in the ground, inside a mountain. Not very much to see there, but that was in regard to the technical limitations of the time. As a species however, I like them. Some of them are just simple minded, but kind creatures, but then you also have a badass like Darunia, who even becomes your brother in blood after you save the species from starvation. They are to me kinda like the Zelda version of the trolls in Discworld, elemental creatures that can also be funny but badass. In addition, traveling through territory leads to encountering some of the best dungeons in the game. Including the dungeon in Death Mountain, where you have to fight a dragon with a sledgehammer.

Nintendo's original GigaChad

Lastly, the Gorons would help to flesh out the world of Hyrule significantly, by introducing one of the first non human/elfish and yet intelligent species in the entire franchise. Till then, most of the time when you interacted in a Zelda game with an NPC able to talk, it was some other Hyrulian phenotypical to Link. Creatures such as Goblins or Lynel were only minions to Ganondorf. The Gorons, Zoras and Gerudos are the first major species with their own additional culture and kingdoms in the land of Hyrule and they got introduced in this game and further developed in other games.

Heck, Darunia is actually even something of a callback, as he is named after a town in the second Legend of Zelda game for the NES. You know, the sort of games Dobson worshipped.

Ganon(dorf) not being a pig Yeah. And that is a good thing.

Frankly, when OoT came out, most people assumed it to be a “prequel” to A Link to the Past from the SNES, because in this game Ganon isn’t yet in a boar demon form and goes by the name of Ganondorf. And they thought it was awesome. After all, A Link to the Past was a great game for many, and this implied that through OoT we get the “backstory” of this game, by diving into the very conflict that sealed away the Golden Land and resulted in a thief becoming the King of Evil. And we did… kinda.

Ignoring the Zelda timeline branching out more than Dobson ever did in his artistic growth, for quite some time it really came off like this game was a prequel to the SNES game. But not just that, it expanded on the Zelda myth and in doing so also on Ganon, which was more than a good thing.

Let us be real here: Ganon until that point was a boring boar. He simply was a fat blueish boar demon sitting with his thumbs up his ass in the final dungeon till you came along and finished him off with the sword or the silver arrows. Of all the four main Zelda games that existed by Nintendo up until that point, he only showed up in two.

The thing on the left is supposed to be the true embodiment of evil? Oracle games Ganon on the right was better than that!

Sure, he was the main antagonist and supposed mastermind behind everything in the first Zelda and A Link to the Past, but he had no real presence in the game. He wasn’t like let’s say Kefka in Final Fantasy 6, who showed up early on and became a constant thorn in the side for the heroes over the course of the game or the narrative till we were meant to fight him.

Ganondorf rectified that. In OoT, he was an active threat from the get go. Having assured that the Deku Tree would be infected by a deadly parasite, almost starving the Gorons to death, infecting the patron of the Zoras with another creature before the adventure of Link even began. And once he got IN story the triforce of power after essentially taking advantage that those dumb kids tried to stop him in order to enter the sacred realm… HOLY SHIT did things turn dark. Now Hyrule was ruled by a genuine king of evil.

The great kingdom we travelled before in search of three gemstones being turned into a wasteland and everyone we started to care for suffering in one way or another. We had more urgency, because the way the story had handled Ganondorf up until that point, made defeating him way more personal than in prior games. We didn’t just get a final baddie to fight to wrap things up, we saw the rise and fall of evil. Not to forget, his boss battle, with the castle falling apart and then the final battle in which Ganondorf finally snaps and takes on a demonic beastform… I have to say, playing that as a kid felt way more epic than the way it was presented in prior games.

The game essentially abandoned Ganon’s beastial cartoonish look and shallow final boss presence from previous games, to reinvent him as one of the greatest videogame villains of all time. This game establishes him as a determined, malicious and highly cunning villain in search of ultimate power, with his own backstory and origin to booth and laid the groundwork for his presentation in every game afterwards. Be it the old, more regal but still utterly mad man who wants to make Hyrule resurface from the sea in Wind Waker, the semi immortal manipulator in the shadows in Twilight Princess or the usurper and semi demon god in the Breath of the Wild continuity, who even in death is an utter menace thanks to his miasma overflowing the kingdom like some eldritch horror.

You know how they say that a villain is at times only as good as his best villains? Ganondorf is that example for the entire Zelda franchise, if not the entire Nintendo canon. As evident by the fact, that fans and even the main company alike think, that in any form of villainous team up he would be the true leader among the group.

The timeline branching Okay, I kinda agree with Dobson, the timeline branching really is an issue with that franchise. But none I would blame OoT for.

Timeline according to the Hyrule Historia post Skyward Sword but BEFORE the Breath of the Wild

To me it is like that: The timeline branching is a problem that first genuinely surfaced in the wake of Wind Waker and Twilight Princess, as prior to those games you could, even as a casual Zelda player, kinda put the games into a certain chronological order, even if the games themselves were NOT released as such.

Like to me OoT was the first game, followed by Majora’s Mask, then a new Link fought Ganon along in A Link to the Past, the Oracle games and Link’s Awakening, before the NES games had the final incarnation of Link get rid of Ganon for good. Either that or you ignored the NES games and considered everything from Wind Waker on a reboot.

But I digress. To me, OoT can’t be blamed for the timeline branching (nonsense), because the game itself did not attempt to “branch” the timeline. That is something other people, the game developers of future installments started to do, all while just saying OoT should be the point of divergence because it is chronologically the first game with time travel shenanigans.

Blaming it, is like blaming the great grandparents of Jeffrey Dahmer for his murders, because by reproducing and bringing one of his grandparents into the world, the existence of that monster was guaranteed.

On another note, Dobson also genuinely thought the Zelda games should only follow ONE Link for all eternity, instead of reincarnations or alternate versions. Which I guess may be linked to some autistic desire for conformity.

Sidekicks Oh, you are one of those people!

Frankly, I never got the hate Navi gets. I admit that her “hey listen” can get annoying over time, but as far as I know, this has been more of an issue in the American release of the game, than in the PAL version. Or at least I never got the impression she was that annoying. But frankly, she had way more positive functions as a “device” in the game to me, than anything. Plus, I can think of worse sidekicks in the series interrupting the flow of the game.

Navi has been criticized by some people in the fandom so hard, at this point it isn’t fair criticism in my opinion as much as it is blatant character bashing.

Also, complaining about annoying sidekick characters and how they are dumb?

Dobson is the last person online to do just that.

Fans Yeah, how dare people have fun with a videogame, that may have also impacted in a positive manner how they think of the medium overall.

I will say this: Yeah, overzealous fans in any fandom are annoying and I actually agree with Dobson on the notion that even if you love something, you should also look at it once in a while with a critical or neutral eye. Admit for example if something has flawed, but also try to explain why these flaws make it good in your opinion e.g.

However, two things work against Dobson’s point.

First, I think that overzealous hatred for something is even worse than overzealous joy.

Second, like with his hatred for sidekicks, Dobson is one of the last people on the planet to get mad at people being fans of anything to an extreme degree, when he himself has shown rather unhealthy fan behavior. Be it by hating George Lucas for the Star Wars prequels…

Obsessing over KorraSami to the point of it overshadowing the actual show…

Or spending more than 500 hours on Zelda Breath of the Wild in only 7 sessions

Now in his defense, spending hundreds of hours in an open world videogame is not the problem. But 568 hours in seven sessions? That amounts to an average of 78,2 hours per session. So either Dobson let the console run while he was busy doing other stuff (though I doubt they included actually drawing comics) and in doing so wasted precious electricity or he is a severe game addict.

The Zora redesign Again, I don’t get the problem. Zora’s in “A Link to the Past” were pretty much just mindless random monsters. This game established them as a sophisticated species and independent kingdom. And while Princess Ruto could be annoying and the Water Temple was so frustrating, I spend months not playing the game because I was stuck in it, I think the Rutos were a great addition to the game and the series as a whole.

Again, the world of Hyrule wouldn’t be as colorful and interesting, if it hadn’t been further fleshed out by the addition of non-elfish species and kingdoms/tribes. This game learnt to walk, so that Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom could essentially run.

I think the only reason Dobson hated them was, because he thought them being turned humanoid turns others into furries. Granted, I can kinda understand why someone would go Troy McLure based on that design…

But I think the designs of later games are even more detailed.

Heck, if I ever find out that he claimed for Breath of the Wild or some other game, that the Rutos are amazing and he always loved them, I will laugh my ass off at the hypocrisy. Before punching him in the face while smiling like Sidon

Oh and I will admit freely, that I love Sidon and his sister, even if my current main expossure to them is via Hyrule Warriors- Age of Calamity. Cause god dang it, those two siblings deserve a happy end, even if it is just in an alternate timeline.

Moving on...

Empty Fields

I will say this: Yeah, the Hyrule Field is my least favorite location of the entire game. It is just a huge grassy plane connecting the different more intriguing locations of the kingdom and before you get Epona or the songs to teleport to the different temples and dungeons, traveling across it can be rather annoying. But if walking around terrain without doing much is such a problem to Dobson, why exactly does he enjoy Breath of the Wild again, as it does involve a lot of travelling around vast space too? Granted, it is at least space with interesting scenery and great battles against minor yet dangerous monsters, but it’s the principal that counts for me here. Not to forget, walking around an overworld map that is kinda empty or devoid of much has been a stable for many games. Including great ones, wherein the lack of action, but the presence of a great atmosphere, helps to sell the game’s atmosphere. Including Shadow of the Collosus, which Dobson claims to love. Btw, if Dobson hates dungeons in Zelda, why isn’t he lapping up the actual overworld?

And this btw is only the second most annoying nitpick in the comic if you ask me. Cause the most annoying comes of course now

LINK IS BLOND! Again, like I asked in the last post, what is it with Link having a lighter hair color now than before, that makes Dobson channel his inner Chris Chan here? Link being blond is essentially what Sonic’s arms are to the internet’s most famous motherfucker. I just get the impression that Dobson genuinely believes the stereotype of blond people being dumb or at the very least “nasty” as the face Link makes in the panel also is kinda one reserved for genuine douchebags. Smug, slightly arrogant, as if he is going to give someone a swirly.

Heck, Dobson’s asshole level smugness about Link’s hair color has not only been more or less the reason for an entire comic complaining about it to exist…

If he could, he drew the character as often with brown hair as he could.

Frankly, I am more concerned about how Dobson’s interpretation of Link looks more like Link’s mother fucked a troll doll (something about the nose in most Link drawings by Dobbear give the impression to me) than anything from the genuine games. Like for someone who considers himself an artist, his own art doesn't really manage to capture what Link is supposed to be (End part 1/2. Second part uploaded in a minute because of a problem regarding the uploading of pics)

[narwhalandchill]

the narwhal and/or childe >:)

where do i even start. my beloved. dearest. just an innocent lovely piece of the vast cosmos. a beautiful creature thats done nothing wrong ever in its life. is it such a crime to be hungry??? to be starving???? looking for a snack perhaps?? are french people really that important in the grand scheme of things?????? 🤔

anyway. like just the fact that this is genuinely the most stunning design this game has ever made for a non-human creature in terms of both visuals and audio (HAVE YOU HEARD IT TALK!??!?!?!?!?!??!! the whale calls the sonar clicks that one borderline growl-like sound at the very beginning of the boss fight its just??? oh my goddddddd). the narwhal is just genuinely breathtaking on that front alone. the boss fight design kinda sucks bc its just swimming away from u all the time i admit that its kinda just wenut but cunty but. i do adore just. watching it move its so ethereal 😭😭

and then theres the small tidbits of lore we have for it and its connection to childe when like. i have an Incredibly specific achilles heel for this kind of eldritch being (utterly alien but nonetheless not malicious in its true intent; simply comprehending the world at a completely different scale than the small creatures that fall on its path) and ESPECIALLY any sort of destined link and bond between such creatures and a mortal and like. this trope has been a thing for YEARS for me. and then its fucking happening for the character thats been the most rent free for me in all the time ive played genshin????? oh yeah its so fucking over im in love with the narwhal. like its creating a world!??!?!?! its creating an entire world inside its stomach!???? to create a world it could protect from the cold unfeeling universe for good???? after its entire existence has been defined by a lonely voyage through the cosmos witnessing the rise and inevitable fall of world after world??? and all it could do is weep ceaselessly for each and every one????? HELLO???????? im going to start a cult

also ngl just the sheer fact that its. well. a whale. is also just an emotional 1hko bc like that is Very much an animal where it inherently adds this weight of their sheer size and age and intelligence that makes this little human Feel things. so like. yea the narwhal has a fuckload of things going for it and thats why it just instakilled me and now its just. my beloved. if ajax is my parasocial comp het boyfriend the narhwal is my non gender specified all devouring eldritch wife yes that makes perfect sense dont question this. thank youuuuu. yes watching them beat the shit out of each other in the cutscene (and knowing it went on for 45+ days before that) was very conflicting because of that. why are you fighting we should kiss 😭 im super normal as you can see.

it does rly depress me that in the AQ the narwhals general significance was ultimately just sidelined and turned into an afterthought both in terms of what it is as an independent thinking and feeling individual as well as just. the way hoyo rly didnt expand on ajax' connection to it much at all other than introducing the barebones concept. but its STILL the good fucking food to me. its Never been just a pet to me even if to 99% of the fandom skirks words will just be forever at face value but. whatever. i will love it even more to make up for thsi injustice🥰

[dykedteach]

okay so, a liveblog.

i know i haven’t done one of these in a while but it’s the last opportunity i had so, a pure as-i-watch-it liveblog for my own future enjoyment? horror? who knows

(also - last night i dreamt that jaime was still alive after all, and that he and brienne made up but then he poisoned sansa? anyway)

“I’ll find you later.” bitch........no

greyworm don’t you fucking dare babe

please don’t turn greyworm into a villain right at the end just to spite him i will be so mad

i’m so so nervous about tyrion walking through the rubble of the keep because if the twins are dead i absolutely do not want to see visual representation of the fact

the book of the kingsguards deeds im....asdjaskda

they’re going to make me see the fucking bodies aren’t they

okay that scene was so powerful and genuinely one of the saddest i’ve seen on the show and peter dinklage is incredible but i honestly struggled to watch it and i am crying A Lot

they, separately, have been two of my favourites since i started watching and this fucking hurts, i have honestly spent the last week kinda forgetting that they’re dead? and now it’s like. there they are.

also, jaime lannister clown club, my apologies, i so wanted to believe you

if tyrion does something like gives brienne his gold hand i s2g

i miss when jon used to look like he had life in him

 he’s going to have to kill greyworm isn’t he

maybe davos will, actually, he’s never had a big kill

ooooooooooooooh the cinematography of the dragon rising behind her

imagine a regent that actually had wings how cool would that be

repeating her promises to/from the dothraki from like s1 is...a Move

“the queens master of war” ohhhhhh fuck me

god he really does need to die doesn’t he

literally what is she going to do?? march on every fucking city and kill them all? HOW are they “suffering under the wheel” the monarchy is the wheel and you? killed it??

arya use a face

aRyA uSe A fAcE

despite the fact i’ve seen leaks saying otherwise i’m so worried tyrion is gonna die

“I freed my brother” god the regret in his voice im dying

why is jon just chilling

JON BEING A TENDER BIG BROTHER why wasn’t 80% of his screentime this season doing exactly this

i love this version of arya that’s serious but not cold

“did you bring any wine?” oh babe

oof the whole afterlife discussion

oh for fucks sake what is it with the lannister men and laying out their bad deeds at the worst time

jon and tyrion arguing is just the two different halves of twitter arguing all this week

“why does it matter what i do” because you’re a good boy, jon snow!!!

god the acting in this episode so far is phenomenal

am i going to cry every time my dumbass golden idiot is mentioned from now on? bitch i might!

is he REALLY a member of the nights watch anymore? do the nights watch exist anymore? there’s no fucking WALL

is he really gonna just be like.....byeeeeee!!

YES bitch EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATE HIS LOVE OF HIS SIBLINGS its what he NEEDS 

also, just his sisters?? there’s a bran also

i know we kinda forget about him (which will be hilarious by the end of this episode, if the spoilers i’ve seen are right) but

ooooh snowy dragon

shit, i forget, ashy dragon

ITS THE PROPECY

god the score is gorgeous

she’s literally queen of the ashes, fuck

“i imagined a mountain of swords too high to climb” so, like, the book throne then

oh god my upset puppy

this is it oh fuck

oh god

oh i feel so sorry for emilia clarke

oh jon 

oh no drogon!! oh no

god that was quick

oh god when he’s nudging her body i’m so sad

why.....why the throne and not jon....

how does he know the throne is bad i’m?

god the VISUALS

but also....”mom died i’m DESTROYING the CHAIR” feels like a weird jump

god i fucking hate that her story ended like her father’s

we’re halfway through and no brienne, i’m disappointed

how many times now has tyrion had to contemplate his imminent death? bless him

ok so now she’s dead we can please let greyworm go safely to naath or something yeah? he doesn’t have to die or be evil this is fine just user him away

WAIT ITS MY BABY SHES HERE

how the fuck did they get down to KL so quick

WAIT EDMURE

hold um im pausing and rewinding

sam, ?, edmure, starks, WIFE, davos, LORD GENDRY LOOKING FINE, ?, a nights watch i guess? MY LESBIAN, a dornish prince i guess? 

oh okay so obviously this is a little while later, and jon and tyrion have been imprisoned while they wait right?

YARA SHUT UP

god sansa looks stunning

edmure tully gets to do something! yay!

oh my god robin is huge now

“a veteran of two wars” where have you BEEN THOUGH BUDDY

“Uncle, please sit” GOD IMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

robin and royce trying not to laugh, sam trying not to laugh, sansa trying not to laugh, this is too much

“Why just us?” BABEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

SAM CHAMPIONING A DEMOCRACY LIKE A BABE

oh fuck off the lot of you

“who then?” well, brienne obviously

make her queen

i want it

give her a crown of sapphires

“bran the broken” that seems....reductive?

“who has a better story than-” well, you see, lots of people.

“and he can’t father children” i mean, he absolutely probably can?

where’s pod, i miss him

i love my diplomatic daughter

ARYA LOOKS LIKE SHE’S ABOUT TO CRY IM

bran being firm with greyworm i LOVE IT

he will be a good king, i agree with that. some emotion would be nice also.

oh god my poor baby 

“there’s still a nights watch?” MOOD

“no one is very happy.” also a mood

he truly is ned’s boy, isn’t he.

show him saying goodbye to his family you FUCKING COWARDS

he’s sailing for naath after all i’m!! emotional!

where the fuck does arya think she’s going

i hope she has like, a few years travelling and then comes back

oh god arya crying is just

i’m so emotional

oh fuck

oh no i hoped and predicted for this scene weeks ago and wanted it to be in better circumstances but

why isn’t she wearing her blue armour

i can’t count the number of times i’ve paused this scene already to just solidly cry

“Escaped imprisonment and rode south in an attempt to save the capital from destruction. Died protecting his Queen.”

brienne baby i’m so sorry

okay i’m going to distract myself by questioning how the fuck they rebuilt so quickly

HOLY FUCK PEOPLE WERE KINDA RIGHT ABOUT SAM WRITING THE BOOK 

fuckin bronn

oh god she’s HEAD OF THE KINGSGUARD

oh wow i’m so down for bran occasionally warging during meetings and everyone else just being like.......um....excuse us...

SER

PODRICK

FUCKING

PAYNE

“you’re master of grammar now too?” somewhere, in purgatory, a baratheon smiles.

i swear to god, if brienne’s last line is a comment about brothels

(at least she’s not pregnant)

my crack ship came out of this better than my hardcore otp

where’s GHOST

a king, a queen, an explorer, and a pariah.

god but i do love the starks

GHOST

OH god arya’s ship is gorgeous

sansa’s crown is nice but a little too cersei reminiscent for me

i’m just happy tormund is here

okay so actually. overall. and maybe it’s because i saw the leaks for most stuff weeks ago and had time to process it.

i kind of.....enjoyed that for the most part?

certainly the second half.

anyway. that’s it.

fuck me.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael After Midnight: Avatar

Hyperbole is a real bitch. No matter what direction it goes in, it can seriously hamper a movie’s reputation. It’s the reason why I always just give a broad recommendation at the end of my reviews rather than a score; I find saying “Hey if you like this genre/subject matter/actor/etc, you might like this film” is a lot better than saying “This is a 10/10 five star masterpiece that all humans who ever shall exist need to see.” All too often the latter is what you get from mainstream publications when they praise a film.

Look what happened to Frozen; it was called one of the better Disney movies in recent memories and was praised to the heavens and back, which led to a bunch of people on the internet vocally disagreeing with said opinion, which then led to an entire anti-fandom of obnoxious basement dwellers who felt the need to constantly remind everyone Frozen sucked on any animation post they could find. All of this for a movie that, in hindsight, is just a solid, standard Disney princess flick.

Tonight we’re talking about a similar case, a film that when it came out was hyped up as a groundbreaking masterpiece of visual effects and a box office smash that grossed insane amounts of money… and was then derided as forgettable and a ripoff of Pocahontas or FernGully or what have you in the years to come. Yes, tonight we are talking about James Cameron’s smash hit, Avatar, and honestly? It’s probably the second best thing named Avatar out there, after Nickelodeon’s series about the last Airbender. After spending years being an obnoxious hipster douchebag and not watching it because it was popular followed by several more years of being an obnoxious douchebag who bashed whatever it was that was popular to bash, I finally sat down and watched James Cameron’s silly blue alien environmental movie… and frankly, it’s a pretty damn good movie. And I don’t just mean “oh it’s better than I expected but not great,” I mean “I can genuinely see to an extent where people were coming from when they were praising this.”

The story goes like this: In the far future, Earth is a polluted pile of fuck, so humans have taken to looking for resources elsewhere. One elsewhere? The moon of the planet Polyphemus, known as Pandora, which is home to a rare mineral that humans ironically dubbed “Unobtanium,” as it is rather hard to obtain due to the richest source being located amongst the native population: the ten-foot-tall blue alien beings known as the Na’vi. Jake Sully, a paraplegic former marine, is selected to utilize a remote-controlled artificial Na’vi body called an “avatar” so he can gain the native’s trust and maybe convince them to move, though there are tons of problems he has to overcome, not the least being that he starts crushing hard on Neytiri, the daughter of the chief (and seeing how she’s a hot blue alien played by Zoe Saldana, can you really blame him?). Can Sully help the humans and Na’vi reach a peaceful conclusion, or is the warmongering Colonel Miles Quaritch gonna get his way and start routing the natives out by force?

Interestingly, a lot of the movies that people claims this ripped off came out after this movie had been written; Cameron’s been working on this movie since 1994, when he wrote up an 80-page treatment for the film. He wanted to start working on this after Titanic, but the technology of the time just wasn’t right to fulfill his vision. Frankly, it’s a good thing he waited, because as I’m sure you know from all the praise it got, the visuals in this film are simply stunning. The Na’vi, the creatures of Pandora, the forests, all the glorious details of this alien planet and its inhabitants are just incredibly well done. If this had been done earlier, there is no way the Na’vi would have avoided the uncanny valley as well as they did; as it stands, they’re probably one of my favorite alien races in fiction, just from the visual standpoint alone. How good this movie looks compared to the story - which by comparison to the groundbreaking effects is rather basic - would almost make you think this film is just style over substance…

...But I’d argue that’s not exactly the case. While it’s glaringly obvious that the effects are the biggest draw, the story is still enjoyable and solid. It may seem rather derivative, but that’s mostly because in the span of time the film took to get made everyone and their mother cranked out environmental films or films about aboriginal people being joined by an outsider who learns from them and then fights back against people encroaching on their way of life, especially during the 90s. This movie quite frankly has an edge over all of those films; for one, this film looks way better than any of them, even Pocahontas (which is undeniably a beautiful film to look at). It also helps this film avoids the, uh… unfortunate implications that often come with these kinds of stories. I’m not here to get to into this aspect of those kinds of movies, but in the hands of less talented writers and directors there tends to be really nasty undertones. While Jake Sully does help lead this foreign culture to victory over their technologically advanced foes, it’s more due to him having knowledge of how humans work combined with the skills the Na’vi themselves have. Neither would have won without the other’s help. So yeah, the story is pretty simple, but pretty good. Not truly groundbreaking or original, but it really doesn’t have to be.

While I will say the story is the weak point, it IS carried by some truly great characters… just not Sully. While he’s a decent protagonist and all, he’s quite frankly overshadowed by just about everyone around him, with three enormous shadows being cast by Grace, Neytiri, and Quaritch. Grace is played by Sigourney Weaver. That is literally all you need to know to understand why she utterly steals every single scene she’s in, but for the sake of this review, let me explain in a bit more detail: her establishing character moment has her awakening from her avatar pod asking where her cigarette is, she openly is suspicious of Sully being added to the avatar program, she is the most honestly sympathetic and noble character in the entire movie, and her avatar is a stunning work of CGI. There’s really not a bad thing I can say about her; she’s basically Ellen Ripley with a more positive attitude towards aliens. She takes no shit and she does all she can to keep these people from being exploited by the greasy corporate shitweasels, no matter what she has to do. What a fucking hero. Can you see why Sully just seems kinda weak in comparison?

Then we have Neytiri, played by Zoe Saldana. She’s gorgeous, she’s badass, and she has quite the likable personality. She almost singlehandedly gives Sully a basic rundown on how not to die and spends most of her early screentime saving his ass. This was one of Saldana’s big roles in 2009 alongside playing Uhura in the Star Trek reboot series, and it brought her tons of praise, fame, and helped get her typecast as “Badass space babe with colorful skin.” Without this, Gamora might have gone to a less impressive actor who wouldn’t have been able to showcase the emotional range required, so at the very least I’m thankful to this movie for that.

And now finally, and perhaps most importantly, we come to Colonel Miles Quaritch, played by Stephen “You wished he was Cable until they cast Josh Brolin” Lang. Quaritch is what seems like such a simple villain: a military man with some serious bloodlust, a guy who just seems to be itching to go to war. But really, there’s a lot more to him than that. One really gets the sense Quaritch really does believe what he’s doing is for the betterment of humanity, and he doesn’t go right to gunning down the Na’vi even when he’s given the word to remove them by force. There are a lot of ways to interpret him, but frankly, no matter what way you cut it he’s at the very least genuinely concerned with the safety of his subordinates (outlined in his establishing scene); this leads him to becoming probably one of the single most badass anti-villains ever conceived. The man frequently steps out into the hostile atmosphere of the moon, holding his breath, to take shots at foes before putting on a breathing apparatus. He jumps out of an exploding plane in a mini-mech, which he uses to get into a knife fight with Sully. And every heinous and violent action he takes is one he takes to protect men from dying, something he has seen far too much of. And while this makes him sympathetic to a degree, his utter disdain of the Na’vi and his bloodthirsty attitude also makes sure you want to see him gets what’s coming to him.

There’s some side characters here and there that are good, but it’s mainly these three carrying the story when it starts seeming a bit too basic for this lofty world Cameron has built. And really, this is a fantastic world he’s created. This is truly a stunning film visually, with some flavorful characters to ensure that the vision doesn’t wear on you throughout the running time. For the most part, it really does work; guess that’s just the magic of James Cameron.

This is a very good film. Not the greatest film of all time, but definitely an enjoyable, ambitious, and groundbreaking one. If I ever make a list of the best sci-fi films (and you know I will eventually), this will most certainly be on there… somewhere. It’s at least top 25 material. While Aliens and the first two Terminator films are definitely the best stuff Cameron has done, this is still quite an impressive piece of pop sci-fi he created; if you like environmental movies, science fiction, creative worldbuilding, awesome visuals, or James Cameron movies, this film is worth a watch. Hell, it’s worth a watch if you’re a fan of Weaver, Lang, or Saldana too, because their performances really drive this film. It’s a good movie, plain and simple.

...Though I don’t think it’s good enough to warrant four sequels. Fuck off, Cameron.

[sugasugasuga]

mvs im kind of in love with (a wip)

#wyd by ikon - i love this one because i feel like with boy band mvs they often fall into the weird “6 boys (sometimes literally) chasing the same girl which proves most writers and directors and stuff are male because any woman would know that said girl would be scared for her life)” trope and this mv is the complete opposite, and portrays romance, or rather the cutesy precursor to romance (yes things aren't/shouldnt be inherently romantic but the vibe and interactions and overall feeling of the this song/mv hints at romance so well, i’m more than okay with it. it’s romantic, but this kind of romantic i support) so well. it’s rarely dramatic (or at least not the mv type of dramatic) and there’s not usually a GROUNDBREAKING moment where you confess your undying love for each other and live happily ever after. those kinds of stories can sometimes feel like more of a caricature of real life, whereas this feels like a snapshot of real life. it does an excellent job of showing those small little moments in the honey moon phase that lead up to romance. the characters are tiptoeing around each other and there’s nothing explicitly romantic but the combination of the music and visuals are enough; nothing needs to be explicitly romantic. one of my favourite things about mvs like this is that i don’t feel like i need to know the words theyre singing in order to understand. it just sort of speaks for itself in its own way and it portrays the emotions its trying to show so well since it doesnt solely rely on the lyrics.   airplane (which i also really like, but not enough for it to make it on to the list “officially) does a similar thing,  and i like that it has more of an arch than this one, but i do feel like looking up the lyrics for that made a lot more sense. at first i felt that the third wheeling/””friendzone”” (for the lack of a better word) thing felt a bit out of place and like they were trying to tell 2 different stories at once but now i feel like it’s just trying to portray a more fleshed out relationship 

i am you, you are me by zico - this is my favourite music video of all time (i love the entirety of inu/run/the prologue etc more but that counts as more of a ‘mv series’ in my mind and you cant compare the two since they’re trying to achieve such different things). i feel overwhelmed by how much i love this mv every time i watch it. i genuinely can’t handle it and i have so many thoughts, starting to talk about it is kind of intimidating and i’ve been putting it off for ages.  several months later: OK I REWATCHED IT LETS DO THIS. every time i watch this mv i am overwhelmed by how much i love it. every time im like “it cant be as good as i remember” but then it is. watching it just makes me feel so soft and warm and quiet. there’s nothing in the whole mv that feels out of place. i love the clothes, i love the hair, i love how natural everything feels. the set is phenomenal, it creates this strange, distant, otherworldly, completely independent little universe. the products that are perfectly lined up and the lights and the way colour and the flickering of the light/the tv is being used makes it feel a bit like a dream. the sparkle at the beginning also gives it a fairy tale kind of vibe. it just feels surreal, blending reality and fantasy in a really god way. the close ups of the people/the sets are being used in the perfect moments, it just creates this beautiful balance that just works so well together. there’s a lot going on, but it never feels like its too much. i love love l o v e the two characters interactions. the mv feels like a whole story that says soooo much without having to say anything at all. the exchanged looks and the gradual development and the interactions are just so perfect. its one of those things where things dont need to be explicitly romantic to be romantic, the combination of the visuals and the song just conveys this very specific feeling extremely well. i love the way they toe around each other and test each other a little bit, how it feels very careful and new at first but then gets more familiar. i love how they look at each other.  i love the parts where they sit back to back and the camera spins around them. i love the part where you have a red close up of zico and she's layered above in blue. that could have looked strange but it works extremely well. everything in this mv feels like it happens or is there for a reason. it feels very intentional, but in a casual way, if that makes sense. i love the pace. i think this is partly caused by the fact that it looks like everything is just slightly slowed down, so it feels more relaxed and gives off this “we have all the time in the world” vibe, and also similar to the otherworldly feeling i mentioned earlier. i love how the sign went from opened/closed to opened/opened.i just dont even know how to say it but from 0:16-0:22, the way the perspectives are shown is just wonderful. i love the way its blurry for a split second  at 0:12. i just love all the details. i love how this mv makes me feel. i want to live in this. 

sentimental by winner - ngl i just love the way this is shot and the colours and the styling and chilled and lazy and careless atmosphere that the visuals and the song create, but also how it somehow shows this underlying frustration? looking up the lyrics helped with this one - i kinda guessed the whole “i miss u” thing because of the title and it has this bittersweetness to it? i just think that this is a great example of a series of seemingly borderline nonsensical/weird/”random” things (eg. the lobster, the bathtub, the guy dancing around with the cat or the guy riding the bike whilst lying on the floor) but it made sense, somehow? it felt like all those little details just showed the frustration and boredom and that they’re not quite sure what to do with themselves and how missing someone can drive you a little bit crazy. not to mention that the cat is a metaphor for “im going to die alone with 18 cats” and the bike thing reminds me a little bit of carousel by melanie martinez, in other words just feeling like you/a relationship is going nowhere. i also love the repeated use/portrayal of musical instruments (even/especially the ones where they go a bit crazy) because it feels like that shows working through your feelings through creativity and expressing yourself. and i also love the couple making out in random places because that’s essentially what it feels like when you like someone who likes someone else, them being with that person is always just sort of... there... i like the almost intruder-like portrayal of it here. i also love the separate rooms because they’re such a cool way to show the characters’ isolation and give them a bit of individuality, whilst still tying it all together with the band/kitchen sequences. 

you’re the best by mamamoo - i like this one because it’s a great example of “we all like the same person but not in a way that suggests we want to kill them and wear their skin”. also, i love the song and the styling (mamamoo are the only people in this world that can pull off bootcut jeans) and the colours and the choreo and the set and the retro/vintagey vibe it all gives off and how the music video perfectly compliments the song and every things so bright and wonderful and i love the dorky moments and i love the scenes under the white sheet (one of the weirdest things ive said in a while) but theyre just so radiant and soft and i love the little animations, they’re so subtle it took me aaaages to see them and theyre so small and cute and fit really well (its not like lalaland floating galaxy dance that feels out of place) and its overall just such a wonderful experience to watch the mv and also i am in love with every single one of these girls 

why so lonely by wonder girls - this one borders on including random things just for the sake of including random things, but it does it so well, i honestly dont care. you do need subs, i think? but its overall just so good that it doesnt matter too much. it just has this “i dont give a shit” in such a classy, controlled, badass lana del rey way. i watched this for the first time when it first came out, i think, about 9 months ago? and i still haven't stopped thinking/forgotten about it, simply because it was so unlike anything ive ever seen before and i honestly wasn’t even sure whether i like it or not. but i do. i love the blocky colors and the styling and the set and the actual format/size of the video and how you have the black borders on the side and how they all fit together perfectly to create this vintage/retro/strange different reality or its own world. the fact that they all perform/sing with this deadpan face and intense eye contact is also that perfect kind of strange that just goes really well with the entire mv. i love the ending and i love that it has this little arch to it, even if its kind of a crazy one, but i love that it’s not wannabe badass (like me lol) or cutesy, it’s just so fucking cool and well made in its own way.  

fine by taeyeon this is the one. the mv that will be the death of me. i love how simple this was and that the way it was shot and the variety and the colours and how pretty it was in a soft, subtle way made it really really interesting or ’’’moving’’’’ i guess. (i always say the same thing, i know, but these are just the things i love about mvs??) the underlying theme/repeated use of photographs and that type of imagery to indicate the passing of time and memories was just stunning and perfect and added this feeling of nostalgia and missing someone/something and perfectly complimented the song. i love that this is another one that just feels really sincere and real and not dramatic at all, all the interactions between the couple are just really really cute and i love that one moment where she's just in the kitchen drinking a glass of water because (at least i think that) it’s this strange relatable feeling of being a bit lost and just thinking and wandering around the house and drinking a glass of water and thinking about stuff. it’s just overall wonderful. 

never ever by got7 - this is just beautiful. that’s the only way to describe it. all the scenes are gorgeous and well balanced, if that makes sense? i love the colours and the contrast between the white and the bluish black with just enough vibrant colours to make it interesting and the smoke thing and the outfits its all just well rounded, somehow. id be OBSESSED with this band if they were on spotify  

fxxk it by bigbang - this ones slightly different bc i saw the mv a while back and i thought it was alright but then i went to hoho’s k pop shop in london and picked up 2 like, credit card sized poster type bigbang things so i was like “guess i should give them another try” and i listened to more of their stuff and i really really really like this song (and a lot of their other songs, actually?? i had no idea that they’ve recently been making so much chilled music?? i guess i just kept thinking of fantastic baby when i heard bigbang) and i think its just another instance of the mv matching the song really well. and i love the styling and colors. i say that every time bUT JUST LOOK AT IT ITS SO COOL 

crooked by g-dragon - i just kind of assumed ive already talked about this because its one of my favourites and it has been for like a year or something?side note before i rewatch it and give my detailed opinions: coup d’etat reminds me of a very specific couple of weeks of my life. it basically just feels like walking to the my best friend’s place in may or june in the evenings last year and its still light and really nice and warm and im wearing ripped jeans and doc martens and my leather jacket and me and my best friend hang out and watch a movie or walk around while we’re ”””””studying”””” and its just a. lot.  but ANYWAY i just love this so much. i love the song and the music video s o m u c h. not just because i have this weird sentimental connection to it. i just feel like it conveys this feeling of helpless, reckless, careless, self destructive badassness so strongly that there is no doubt about it, regardless of the lyrics. i looked them up once and i forgot and im sure theyre good but i just really feel like the sound and the visuals combine so well that theyre a bonus rather than something you need to understand. it just makes me feel this strange sense of pity and it has that kind of underlying sense of sadness and despair and loneliness and not being sure what to do with yourself and not quite belonging but covering it all with this appearance of not caring even though you care so much at the same time and i just love it so much. all i know is that walking places whilst listening to g-dragon is a very unique, specific feeling that i love 

she's a baby by zico - since i am you, you are me is basically my favourite mv ever i put off watching this for like 2 weeks. i was kinda nervous, ngl?? idek know why tbh? i guess i didnt want to be disappointed? but maaan. i was not disappointed. of course i dont like it as much as i am you, but i love love love that it has the same gentle pastel vibe and it just made me feel all soft inside and it made me smile and i just love it. im not gonna go on about how much i love the colors and the way its shot and stuff bc i say the same thing every time but jusT LOOK AT IT. its GORGEOUS. 

rumor by kard - this looks cool as fuck on your phone, i really really like the song and just generally love that kard always does completely new, different stuff and does it super well. (i just love their music in general bc their lyrics mean soooo much to me whenever i feel A Lot) 

neverland by holland - boy where to even start with this one. to begin with, i want to take the first 30 seconds and hang them up on my wall. tattoo them on my body. they’re just so quiet and pretty and perfect. i love the yellow neverland font. and just the contrast between the dark scenes where he’s alone and the brightness of the beach and the sky when they’re together???? SO damn good. the combination of the two makes the mv feel like it’s like a memory - when you think of someone you used to like, you think about all of it. it’s not just the good and it’s not just the bad, in a way, you’re brain smashes it all together. it just does such an excellent job of making you feel something. and the interactions between the two boys. they’re so cute and soft together but the mv also manages to give their relationship a bit of depth and it’s just great to watch. and their kiss might be my favourite “tv” kiss ever? i usually just find kisses in movies and tv shows (especially dramas) very “whatever” but this one was just so cute. they’re so cute. it’s just great. and i love the sound of the actual music so much? i’m usually not into soft music but this is actually so damn good????? im honestly just dying for holland to make more music