#the mascots are also charming and some of them even had a fun little narrative too

[raziiyah]

i always loved cereal mascot ads and some i remember vividly were the rice krispies singing with the bars ads! as a kid i always had a preference for pop's songs first, then snap's, and tbh i never really liked crackle's, however i've discovered the full songs and now many of crackle's songs are actually my favorite of the trio's 🌈

[nobodyfamousposts]

Any Tikki/Plagg salt?

So I'm taking this to mean you are asking if I have salt about Tikki and Plagg.

Here's the main central issue: Why are the kwamis even necessary? I mean this narratively. What purpose do they serve to the story that couldn't be accomplished without them?

When I was originally introduced to the show and the concept behind it, I thought Plagg and Tikki were going to be the Wise Mentors/Wise Animal Mentors for the heroes. The ones who offer the "moral of the story", give advice to their respective chosen, and...y'know...train them. Prepare them. Give them some lore and history of how things worked for them in the past as well as info on what they are, what their powers are, and what they're up against.

We got a little of that with Tikki offering lessons and advice, but the advice is minimal and comes few and far between for what should be warranted by the situations they face. Tikki had no problem with judging and admonishing Marinette for things, but Tikki has done very little to actually help guide Marinette on the "right" decisions she seems to want Marinette to take. She did reprimand Marinette for selfish use of her Lucky Charm in Bubbler and trying to help Juleka in a dishonest way in Reflekta, but she didn't really come up with other options for her or offer any real advice or input other than telling Marinette that she disapproves.

With Plagg, we didn't get that at all. Sure, he's made catty comments on Adrien's behavior such as in Copycat and Desperada, but since Adrien "is perfect" and thus never needs to learn a lesson, Plagg never needs to be the mouthpiece for the episode's moral. This also cements Plagg as the lazy and "fun" kwami in contrast to Tikki—which would work if we had more consistent interaction between the two to highlight that comparison.

The only purpose the kwamis seem to have is to 1) be the cute mascot characters for the series and 2) have someone for Marinette and Adrien to talk to and play off of—the second of which is specifically notable in the case of Plagg, who is ultimately the only thing about any of Adrien's scenes when he's not Chat Noir that makes them entertaining or interesting to watch.

This is especially noteworthy as the writers clearly struggle with the "show, don't tell" philosophy of writing, and the kwamis are prime tools to try to get around that little issue without putting in any actual effort because Miraculous has all the subtlety of a brick to the face. Why SHOW the Main Duo falling in love over time through their interactions and slowly growing closeness and relationship building among all four sides of the love square that is touted as the main draw of the series in the first place...when they can just have the two be cringingly awkward around one another and chuck in a magical plot device I mean mouthpiece I mean kwami for the heroes to expound on their "unrequited love" to?

Also, much like many things in this series, everything about the kwamis from their powers to their natures to their personalities are contradictory and confusing. For all powerful beings who serve as the focus of the plot as well as the plot device around which the series is supposed to revolve, they are demoted both narratively and in the story itself.

If they HAVE any personality, it's that of children. Children who don't understand the world, don't understand people, don't actually actually embody the concepts of which they are supposed to be centered around, and quite frankly don't seem to have any business having the level of power they seem to have given the complete lack of control they display they actually have over it. These ancient beings—OLDER than the universe, who should at least have SOME idea of how their own powers work or at least what the leaking from people's eyes means but honestly come off as the biggest threat to everyone around them through sheer callousness and ignorance.

It's the same issue with Adrien that if this individual is supposed to be the moral mouthpiece for the writers, one would think they would have more maturity, especially as ancient all powerful beings that they are who predate humanity. It could be argued that it's a result of them being trapped in the Miracle Box for so long, but that still doesn't account for all the time they existed BEFORE being put in the Box or the times they were taken out and used after it was made. Nor does it account for why they all seem to have a childish mob mentality.

It'd make sense if their childishness served a purpose in a narrative sense—like haivng them actually learn about the world and get some growth of their own, but that doesn't happen. And if two or more kamis appear on screen together, they seem to revert to the same personality.

As it stands, all of this really countermines the idea that the kwamis are supposed to be the guides or go-to figures for morals and lessons for our main heroes or even the temporary heroes. It'd be one thing if their morals were just "different" due to being active at different ages and time frames. That would explain some discrepancy. But the writers don't use that and all the kwamis pretty much act the same.

Then comes the OTHER narrative issue that as soon as Fu and the Order of the Guardians officially enter the picture, the idea of kwamis being guides or mentors for the heroes is made completely moot. And it says something when a guy who never completed the test to become a true Guardian and whom was ultimately responsible for the entire Order being destroyed made for a better mentor figure than the kwamis whose power is supposed to be running the show.

It would be one thing if it ultimately became a sort of reversal where Marinette's time with the kwamis makes her reevaluate their roles and look at Tikki in a new way as someone who ISN'T perfect and who CAN be wrong. But the show still has Marinette looking to Tikki for answers in a way that gives me the same impression as if she was looking for life guidance from Manon.

Other than giving credence to the "5 minute time limit" and some "missing kwami/can't transform" shenanigans, removing the kwamis really wouldn't lose anything narratively from the show.

...well, other than what entertainment there can be had from Adrien's scenes secondary to Plagg's involvement in them.

So, tl;dr, my biggest salt about the kwamis boils down to:

They have little purpose narratively.

Anything they could do is devalued by the presence of others that perform their roles and explain or use their abilities better than they can.

For ancient beings with immense lore and involvement in history, they don't do much to expand on that.

For moral mouthpieces, they don't do much to actually HELP their holders.

In and of themselves, they are used by the writers in such a way that they end up limiting the ability of the narrative to tell a good story instead of adding it.

[grittyreadsfic]

hello my friends, one singular person asked for this weeks ago so i’m here with my most unhinged rec list yet: tk and nolan.

now, this one was hard to reign in, so i really didn’t. this pairing had maybe 230 fics in the tag when i first started reading hockey fic, and it’s now over 900, and i’ve read far too many of them, and that makes it so hard to parse it down. so i just...didn't!

so with that said, please enjoy so you want to get into tknp: a beginners guide to a classic case of idiots to lovers

i told myself that i couldn’t rec an author’s entire body of work but then i remembered this is my blog and i do what i want, so i did some consolidating. here’s a list of the quintessential authors for this pairing, you can start at any of their profiles and pick any of their fics at random, and it’ll be one of the best ones for the pairing, hands down.

therainbowsedge: i’d start with the summer camp fic, or the sex toys one, as both beautifully capture the true idiots to lovers nature of this pairing, but just top tier writing all around

manybumblebees: the wedding fic is so tender and port stanley is a classic, but literally pick any single fic and you’ll have a perfect tknp fic. i’m not kidding

jamesvanriemsdick: their tknp fics in their series are some of the hidden gems of this pairing (the tk heartbeat fic makes me LOSE it) but the delaware fic or the seattle fic…..there’s really something for every mood

catchascatchcan: start with era of gods because i could write literal essays on how it’s some of the best fantasy worldbuilding i’ve ever read, but then just read everything else on their account, including non tknp fics. you won’t regret it

hackysack: ao3 user hackysack has written one of two timeloop fics that i absolutely adore, and i thought about just calling that one out in particular, but all of their work deserves the attention

canary: nothing to prove was the first tknp fic i ever read and i was immediately hooked. all of their fics are a good starting place for the pairing, and just really give you a feeling for the pairing

and now, for the fic recs!

to be, despite it all by smudgedfreckles

summary: or, nolan patrick’s gender thesis, by travis konecny.

why i love it: there’s not a lot ofo nonbinary characters in media, even in fic, but this fic’s treatment of nolan and their path to figuring out their gender just feels so real and made me feel so seen. tk’s characterization is also just top notch, and it’s just a super sweet story about two people who love each other

last ones standing by makeit_takeit

summary: If you’re committed to finding your future spouse, reads the last line of the ad, and are ready to look at yourself and your love life in a whole new way, apply now.

At the bottom of the ad there’s a link, and Travis finds his finger hovering over the screen, lip still caught between his teeth.

“I mean,” he says very reasonably, speaking out loud to his empty apartment like some sort of possibly-crazy person, “just applying doesn’t mean anything. Maybe I just fill it out, and see what happens. It’s not like I’m really gonna get picked to be on TV, come on.”

He snorts out loud, just to show his apartment he hasn’t lost his grip on reality or anything; he fully understands how ludicrous that would be.

Then he clicks the link anyway, because yolo or whatever.

why i love it: what part of a married at first sight fic doesn’t make you want to immediately dive right in? the concept is fun, the execution is absolutely flawless, and it captures their dynamic so well while letting it develop naturally

motivation by connectknee

summary: Kevin knows when to back off, the article said. He knows just when to shut up and leave Patty alone, something Travis has never known how to do.

why i love it: the thing i love about this pairing is that tk is loud and in your face, and nolan’s more reserved, a little quieter, a little harder to read. this fic does a really great job of exploring how tk could feel like maybe he’s just a bit too much and is one of my favorites in terms of miscommunication

a tenderness grows by rusesdeguerre

summary: Nolan wouldn’t say that landing a job as the Philadelphia Flyers’ psychotic and probably clinically insane mascot was a childhood dream of his. Maybe tangentially: playing pond hockey in –30°C weather and pretending to be Sidney Crosby is practically a rite of passage when you grow up in Manitoba. That, and experiencing the distinct displeasure that is thousands of mosquitoes sucking your blood out when your father drags you on a father-son camping trip into the backwoods of the northern Canadian Prairies.

why i love it: this was the first fic i recced on this blog, and i stand by that decision. a fic where nolan is not only not a hockey player, but is in fact the person in the gritty suit? absolutely perfect, and so charming from start to finish

meet me at my window by springsteen

summary: Travis has lived in Philadelphia for a few years now, long enough to know there isn’t a major city in America where superheroes don’t destroy an entire city block trying to save humanity or whatever. He can deal with all the super-shit, but Travis did not sign up for getting woken up from a deep sleep because some fucker’s trying to break in through his window.

(5 times the super-villain known as "The Cat" breaks into Travis's apartment, plus 1 time Travis invites him in.)

why i love it: there’s a lot of things to love here, but the concept is just absolutely one of my all time favorite aus ever. it’s fun and charming and the perfect glimpse into a world where heroes and villains exist, and what it’s like just to be a run of the mill kind of guy existing in it. tk and nolan’s back and forth in this make it so engaging, and it’s such a top tier fic

body’s in trouble by cloudsandpassingevents

summary: “Oh, sorry,” someone says. “Didn’t know anyone else was here.”

Nolan freezes, then turns around very slowly. When he looks up, Nicklas fucking Backstrom is standing behind him in a hoodie and baggy sweats, holding the biggest bag of Swedish Fish Nolan’s ever seen in his life in one hand.

“Uh,” Nolan says around the pop tart between his teeth. “Yeah.”

What the fuck, his brain helpfully supplies.

why i love it: from nolan’s inner voice, to the way the author explores all the dynamics within the team, to the way they write the unexpected but actually, it kind of makes sense friendship between nolan and backstrom, is just absolutely fantastic. there’s a lot of moments that circle back and build on each other in a way that really just makes it super compelling

rhizomatic foundations by lighthousetowers

summary: Twenty days after he moves in with Kevin Hayes, twenty days – three months, five months, depending on how you look at it – after not talking to TK, TK shows up at the front door with a plant the size of a basketball in his hands.

TK grins. "Patty, meet Reginald." He lifts up the plant. "Reggie, meet Patty. He's going to be your new - caretaker."

"What the fuck," says Nolan, not moving a single muscle.

Or: That Nolan can hear the plant talk might as well just happen.

why i love it: this is probably my favorite magical realism fic just about ever. it’s fun and charming and a little weird, but in the best possible way. there’s such a wonderful narrative in it, and lighthousetowers always has such beautiful writing, and it really shines in this one. the dialogue and nolan’s characterization are also part of what set it apart for me as one of the best tknp fics

in the dark of any town by mengetpegged

summary: If the voice has an accent at all, it’s a flat prairie Canadian, with none of G’s French-Canadian softness at the edges. But mostly, the accent is just ‘pissed off,’ which TK believes is a default setting for ghosts.

“Who are you?” TK asks, and he doesn’t like how strained his voice sounds, doesn’t like the tinge of anxiety tinting the rise of his question. He tries to regulate his breaths—in through his nose, hold, out through his mouth—but it feels like he’s not getting enough oxygen, which makes him panic even more.

“Someone with a fucking migraine, dickhead,” the voice says. “So keep the lights off and shut the hell up.”

(or: Nolan Patrick, Hotel X Ghost)

why i love it: i’m usually not super into ghost fics, both the spooky kind and the nonspooky kind, but this one is a rare exception. it’s charming and fun and tender and it’s got some of, in my opinion, the best characterization of tk and nolan in any fic. the way the author writes their dynamic and their dialogue is just unmatched

lets_make_this_moment_a_crime.mp3 by honeydripping

summary: Travis meets Nolan at a Midtown show in 2002 when he punches Nolan in the face. He can’t help it, “Like A Movie” just goes off.

But he does feel guilty about it.

or

TK and Patty work at a bakery together. They go to punk shows to pass the time.

why i love it: idk if anyone asked for an early 2000s emo/punk/alt au but wow! i sure am glad it exists! really the vibes of this fic, as silly as that sounds, are absolutely unmatched. i love the structure with the music, the development of their relationship, and just everything about how the author wrote the setting (there’s this whole thing with tattoos in it that makes me feel absolutely insane)

you’re ripped at every edge by you’re a masterpiece by conformityissuicide

summary: “Ugh, look, this yoga teacher has it out for me, man. And I can’t go back there without at least having some of the basics down. I’ve got to win this battle.”

“Yoga isn’t really something you win at,” Hartsy starts.

Travis cuts him off, “You can win at anything if you try hard enough.”

+++

OR that time Nolan's a grumpy yoga teacher and Travis realizes he wants to bone him and prove him wrong about Travis' non-existent yoga abilities.

why i love it: listen, if you want tknp, at least one of them has to be an idiot, and this tk absolutely captures the obliviousness i love to see in him in fic. it’s such a great characterization of them both and such a great concept (and even better execution)

you form a terror pack (and i’m aware of that) by dalmatienne

summary: “Can I help you?” TK snarks, both eyebrows hiked up in a way that has earned her many elbow checks to the ribs.

The chick looks down her nose, long thick eyelashes fluttering. Red-bitten lips part to blow a florid pink bubble and TK can smell the chemical sweetness when it pops.

“Yeah,” she says in this monotonous voice that seems almost at odds with her bubble gum and neon skates. She jams her stopper into TK’s thigh again, literally inches away from where it’d really hurt. “Tie ‘em.”

why i love it: to be honest, i generally don’t read rule 63 within hrpf, but this one is just absolutely knocks it out of the park. the concept (i fuckin’ love roller derby), the characterization of nolan, the pacing, the rituals, the tone of the entire fic, it’s just all around a perfect read from start to finish

thrills and grills by bitter_leaf

summary: Travis can’t even begin to wonder what he did in a previous life to incur the wrath of this fucking cook. Travis thinks he’s a nice person, doesn’t conduct himself in any way that could be considered particularly dickish, and unless this guy has some sort of issue with hockey bros or people from the boonies, he’s not sure how he started shit without even knowing.

__

Patty has a vendetta. Travis just wants to eat his eggs in peace.

why i love it: honestly this is the enemies to lovers fic i’ve been waiting for. i remember seeing the reddit post when it first went viral and thinking it would make such a great fic premise, so stumbling across this one was just so wonderful. super engaging and fun and so hilarious to read!

nothing but room for you by fightingfuries

summary: When his agent tells him he’s going to be traded to the Devils, Nolan isn't sure how he feels about it. Might be easier if he was going somewhere farther away, like California or fucking Florida. Somewhere sun-soaked and foreign. Someplace so different from Philadelphia that he can forget he ever played for the Flyers, forget everything that happened there.

Or Nolan fucks up, gets traded, gets his shit together and falls in love. Not necessarily in that order.

why i love it: i cannot stress to you how much i love trade fics, and this one is one of my absolute favorites. the trade to the devils-so close to philly, still, but there’s more to distance than physical miles-was such an excellent choice and the split timeline adds so much to the narrative, and the emotions are real and messy and complicated in the best way

a couple of runaways (i’m glad you stayed) by overturnedgoal

summary: The person in the video he’s watching is super annoying. Some obnoxious holier than thou granola type who keeps talking about their environmental impact as if they aren’t driving a gas guzzler around, but the basic idea of living in a van, driving around wherever, camping all the time, just going hiking and swimming and seeing the whole country? It sounds pretty dope, honestly.

why i love it: i like to watch tours and conversions of vans/buses into tiny homes as a self soothing method, and this fic has the same impact that watching those do. it’s such a fun concept, and it’s so fuckin’ soft, and the dialouge between tk and nolan is just *chef’s kiss*

all candor and style in the crook of your smile by p3trichor

summary: It’s a photo of Nolan on his knees with someones’ fingers in his mouth, lips slick with spit. Travis flicks by it almost too fast and he’s only got seconds to decide if he wants to screenshot it, if he wants to just give up the ghost right then and there. Except Travis’s phone freezes momentarily and then the group refreshes, sidcros87, Bert59 and 14 others took a screenshot!

It’s gone before Travis even has time to process it and he already wasted his replay of the day on a stupid video of a stupid fish that Hayes caught.

Can you send me that screenshot Travis texts Bertuzzi before he can overthink it, his dick already stirring in his sweats. Tuzzi sends back the cry-laughing emoji and then the screenshot before Travis can be too annoyed at him.

Or, Nolan is being weird about Travis's break-up and TK is maybe not straight.

why i love it: i genuinely don’t think i have words for the amount i love this fic. it took me forever to actually read, but it’s absolutely one of my favorite fics, and it’s an absolutely riot to read. carter’s meddling and the presence of tyler bertuzzi both make it extra fun, in my humble opinion

[thetygre]

30 Day Monster Challenge 2 - Day #10: Favorite Goblin/Orc

1.      Uruks

I wanna’ tell you a story, folks. It might sound a little familiar, but stick with me. Once upon a time, there was a farm-boy. A simple lad, who had high hopes for a life of adventure beyond the town. He wasn’t the brightest, but what he lacked in brains he made up for in bravery. One day, as you do, farm-boy was working out in the field with his family when a monster attacked. The local guard piled on to the monster, but they just couldn’t bring it down. It tore through soldier after soldier after soldier, just for the fun of it. Our farm-boy knew he would probably die, but he didn’t care. He had his chance and took it; he picked up a stick, ran at the monster, and brought it down. Our farm-boy became a hero.

That farm-boy’s name was Kravitz the Marked One. He was an orc slave working in the fields the first time he killed me. The warchief promoted him on the spot and gave him a set of armor. The second time he killed me they gave him a caragor to ride. The third time he was given command over a company of hunters. I got him on the fourth time, though, and recruited him to the Bright Lord’s army. I was going to make him Overlord of Nurn, and raise him up to sit at my right hand, a real rags-to-riches story. He helped me take the Overlord’s fortress, riding with me at the siege. But poor little Kravitz took a mortal wound there, one I couldn’t save him from. And as he lay there, dying in my arms, he looked and me and he said, “Remember this moment, Tark. Remember it for as long as you live.” And I always did.

There’s a lot of other stories I could tell you. About Ugakuga the Maddest One, who saved my life, or Kellec the Tree Killer who communicated only in screams, or Flug the Ghul Lover who would track a matron across Mordor just to protect her. Uruks are rambunctious, and violent. They fight with each other even if you get them on the same team. They’ll betray you at the drop of a hat for the smallest slight. They pick fights with warriors and monsters that can kill them in one hit just to make a point.

But when they’re your own, you love them.

2.      Greenskins

The greenskins are the puncline to the grimdark joke that is Warhammer. While they’re in both the fantasy and 40k settings, they really stand out in 40k. Warhammer fantasy still has halflings, dwarves, and typical fantasy shenanigans to pick up the slack; 40k NEEDS some comic relief. The Orks aren’t concerned about empires or Chaos or the greater good. The Orks, pure and simple, are in it for the fun. They’re work is at its finest when its fast, loud, and in flames. Put together, they can generate a kind of psychic field that makes their beliefs a reality. This power is not used to reshape the fabric of the cosmos, but to enforce much more important principles like ‘things go faster when they have flames painted on. In the grim darkness, the orks are a pie to the face filled with C4.

3.      Order of the Stick

The goblins in Order of the Stick are kind of different from how they’re commonly depicted, but not too unrecognizable. They’re a monster race, living in the wilderness, trying to eke out a living, though they’re a bit taller and smarter than standard goblins, about on par with humans. But the thing that makes them stand out is Redcloak, and Redcloak is pretty great, both as an antagonist and a character in his own right. Redcloak has made decisions, bad decisions, decisions that he could have not made but he did because he felt he had to. And it’s interesting to watch him now, filled with regret, committed to this course, and wondering what will happen next.

4.      Nyambe

Nyambe-Tanda was an African campaign setting for 3rd. Edition D&D that not a lot of people remember. They should, because it was pretty great, both at representing an underexplored area of fantasy and also for its own setting features. Somehow, it blended West African mythology and post-modern tabletop fantasy masterfully. One of the best examples is its orcs.

You’ve got your standard narrative; at the beginning of time, there were the various races, and each of the gods favored one race over the others. Originally, the gods only divulged so much to the races because they wanted to keep things fair. But the orcs were having a hard time of it, living in badlands and scrounging for food. So their god, Ogun, the god of war, decided to give them a little boost. He made them stronger, faster, tougher than other races. But Ogun wasn’t just the god of battle; he was the god of blacksmithing. So the orcs of Nyambe learned how to mine and forge metal while the other races were still wearing leaves and furs. And by the time the other races figured out bronze, the orcs had iron.

From there, things went about as well as you would expect. The orcs swarmed out, conquering the continent one region at a time. The other races barely had metal, much less iron; any resistance was like bring a stick to a gun fight. Even after Ogun withdrew his patronage from the orcs, they turned to worshipping dark gods and demons, adding sorcery to their arsenal. The orcs set up a dark empire across Nyambe-Tanda, and it took nothing less than an alliance between all the races, the dragons, and God to stop them. The dumb orcs of Nyambe today are the cursed remnants of that empire, and their demon-haunted ruins still litter the continent.

Just think about all that. Look at how much the orcs did in this setting. And they did it for themselves; not for any god or Dark Lord, but because they wanted to. The Evil Empire that the plucky last-ditch rebellion had to stop didn’t use orcs; it was MADE by them. They fundamentally shaped the setting. In Nyambe, orcs are legendary and feared. Even the few remaining half-orcs are watched closely and with fear, looking out for any sign that the old powers might return. And that’s just such a massive departure from the norms of fantasy while still staying true to certain elements; I love it.

5.      Pathfinder

Pathfinder’s goblins are clearly descended from Warhammer’s; cheerful, incorrigible pyromaniacs who enjoy arson, butchery, and singing adorable little songs about how much they hate horses. Even their designs are cute; oversized head, constant grins, beady little eyes, big flappy ears, and a shark-like nose make them look more like gangrene bats than monsters. When Pathfinder was first released, it was decided by the Paizo team that they wanted their monsters to stand apart from the standard D&D variants of monsters, remaining true to certain aspects while inventing new ones. Goblins were the first example, and are still the most beloved. They became mascots of the system, and even a playable race. So much malevolent charm has been poured into Pathfinder’s goblins that you feel almost bad for killing them. You’ll have to though, because they really don’t feel bad about killing you and then burning your house down.

6.      Eberron

Eberron orcs are another attempt to experiment with the standard formula, seeing what can be retained and what can be changed. An orc on Eberron can still be a wild berserker, but they’re more likely to stick to one of the villages they live in as a farmer. Orcs in Eberron are the oldest species on the planet, predating humans and all the other races. It gives them this kind of grouchy veteran persona that pervades the whole race, and they tend to look down on the younger peoples. Eberron orcs are also a lot more spiritual, trying to live in tune with the land and spirits. It was the orcs’ druids that saved the world from extradimensional horrors long ago, and most of them stick to that tradition. They don’t want any praise or to be raised up as heroes, though. They mostly just want the young races to listen to them when they say important things like, “Don’t poke the fabric of reality” and “Don’t trust elves” and “No, ma’am, I would not care to do that with you.”

7.      Warcraft

It was inevitable that Warcraft orcs would be on here. There’s no escaping them; by now they’re probably more popular than Tolkien orcs. They actually have a fairly complex history and lore; addicted to demon juice, tricked by an evil shaman, warring with the goat-people. Thrall is still the coolest shaman in anything ever, even if it is kind of hard not to just call him ‘orc Moses’. Even their explanation for the green skin is cool; an eternal curse for drinking demon blood in wars past. Honestly, though, I loved the orcs best in Warlords of Draenor. The Iron Horde is what elevated the orcs from ‘kind of cool’ to full-on ‘Metal’. It was a shame to see them go, but that’s just how it is.

8.      Rankin Bass

My first orcs. I watched the Rankin Bass Hobbit films when I was a kid, so these were the first time I met goblins who didn’t come out of a fairy tale. They were scary more than cool, but they also had a kind of dorky charm to them. The original Hobbit goblins with their gaping mouths and giant fangs are still a classic. They seem like perfect fairy tale monsters to me, and fit right in to the Hobbit’s original tone. Also got to love those classic goblin hits like ‘Funny Little Things’. The orcs in Return of the King had way more variety in shape, and there was even some blurring between them and the trolls, but no particular design stuck with me. You know what did stick with me? The best damn song in the entire world, that’s what.

9.      The Wolverines

Stan Nicholls’ Orcs series is more in the vein of the Black Company or the Golden Age of Berserk than it is any other kind of orc story. It follows the exploits of a mercenary band of orcs while they traipse around first one fantasy world, then more. By the second trilogy, they’re freedom fighters for orc supremacy on whatever world they can find them. All the while, they never stop being just unapologetically bastards. You get a feel for the commanders and the soldiers, while taking in that whole mercenary life pastiche. Not anything groundbreaking yet, but still a good band.

10.   Goblin Slayer

Credit where credit is due, Goblin Slayer tries its damnedest to take goblins and make them horrific, intimidating monsters. Does it succeed? Ehhhhh... I don’t want to keep saying ‘Berserk did it better’, but it really is hard not to compare the goblins to the trolls from Berserk. Still, there’s stuff to applaud here. These are some nasty goblins, even in terms of design, with jagged shark teeth and dead frog eyes. If nothing else, it’s interesting to see the kind of hierarchy usually reserved for higher-powered monsters like dragons and demons given to the ‘cannon-fodder’.

[skriaki]

A Hat In Time REVIEW - "Unbelievably charming"

PLEASE NOTE: This game has very little story to spoil but I will be talking about the entire adventure, so consider yourself warned

RELEASED: 2017

FORMATS: PC, Mac, PS4, Xbone, Switch (review based on PC and Switch)

I debated long and hard how best to open this review, and in the end I decided that nothing introduces A Hat In Time better than its astonishing soundtrack. Though I’d been aware of the game since before it released, I never actively sought it out until I happened to watch the launch trailer. Not only is the kaleidoscope of levels and characters eye-catching, what stood out as truly special was Pascal Michael Stiefel’s music. The trailer features the game’s main theme, which is striking, energetic and playful, easily one of my favourite videogame themes of this generation, and a perfect encapsulation of everything A Hat In Time is about.

At the risk of spoiling the end of this review, I usually find that the hardest games to critique are the ones I love most. A review of a bad game almost writes itself, because all I have to do is point out the wonky mechanics, or boring story, or the fact that one or more of the developers are bigoted pieces of shit (ION FURY), or whatever. But when I try to sum up my opinion on an excellent game, it’s hard for me to maintain some level of objectivity. So I guess we should all go into this on the understanding that I freaking adore A Hat In Time.

As mentioned, what strikes you first is the sheer, weaponised cuteness that A Hat In Time wields like a sharpened umbrella. I think Nitro Rad put it best when he said the game was just unbelievably charming. How many soundtracks outside of Star Trek prominently feature theremins? Other than a tiny smidgen of slowdown in the larger areas (even on my reasonably beastly PC), ON SCREEN NOTE: THE SWITCH VERSION IS LOCKED TO 30FPS BUT I LOVE THE PORTABILITY it’s an explosion of visual and audio polish that would be impressive from a bigger studio, let alone a developer which originally relied on volunteers. From the moment Hat Kid wakes up in her time-travelling spaceship only to soon find herself stranded on a weird planet populated by surreal characters, the expectations have been set sky-high.

But this tiny quibble didn’t distract me for long, because the opening Mafia Town chapter gives you a bright and colourful seaside town to get lost in, with highlights including a sequence where you pretend to be a ghost and chase a terrified henchman, and an operatic 2D showdown against the mafia boss. I actually think Mafia Town might be the game’s weakest chapter overall, but that’s like being the worst port of Metal Gear Solid 3: still pretty fucking good. Afterwards comes Dead Bird Studio, where you have to help two rival directors film stunts to earn a prestigious award, with particular praise going to the hilarious murder mystery on a train. It’s very neat that the winning director is decided by how many collectables you gather in their respective levels. Then comes the game’s darkest sequence in Subcon Forest, which starts with Hat Kid literally selling her soul to a melodramatic demon who’s probably the standout performance in an entertaining voice cast. One of his levels is a startlingly spooky manor which honestly might be too scary for younger players. Although no game will ever be as scary as that one bit in Banjo-Kazooie (shark clip). Next, however, you get a relaxing change of pace with Alpine Skyline, which subverts the established level structure with a more open-ended village hub which made me think of the original Jak and Daxter. At this point you’ll have most of the hats, which makes it easier to scoop up enough time pieces to unlock the final chapter, which is a single level consisting of some fiendish platforming and a suitably spectacular boss. While the narrative’s sudden attempt to tie unrelated characters together during this last sequence feels a bit forced, I eventually warmed to it as a "look at all the friends we've made along the way" affair. Plus the chapter itself is undeniably climactic, and I couldn’t help get a little emotional when that phenomenal trailer music which I refuse to shut up about kicked in during the credits.

The Gears For Breakfast team have cited 6th-generation 3D platformers like Mario Sunshine and Psychonauts as their main inspiration, which is when 3D games arguably hit their stride, and their game flaunts those influences with pride without being afraid to forge its own identity. Hat Kid is not only adorably cheeky, with an expressive face that reminds me of Wind Waker, she can also jump, dive and walk on tightropes so that the platforming feels precise and forgiving, and she quickly picks up an arsenal of hats which grant various powers. This is one of those collectathons where I suggest speeding through most levels before coming back later with all the abilities unlocked, because some macguffins can seem tantalisingly just out of reach, but won’t actually be accessible without certain hats. All the powers are great, though, and see frequent use, from straightforward ones like the hat that makes you run faster to the one that lets you jump on ghost-blocks. They complement Hat Kid’s default moveset really well and getting a new hat always feels like a big moment. There are also badges, which grant similarly useful upgrades, but you can only equip a few at a time. This is one minor gripe I have: swapping between hats makes sense, because using them all at once would break the game, but some of the badges (such as one that lets you climb walls after a dive) just feel like basic features which make the game worse if you don’t equip them. Limiting how many badges I can use at once just adds a bit of unnecessary faffing about in the pause screen. Pro tip: buy the “no bonk” badge from the creepy merchant straight away and never look back.

From start to finish, I genuinely struggled to find meaningful problems with A Hat In Time. I could have forgiven a lot of problems for the fun and inventive situations the game threw at me, but I never had to. Instead I have to say I found myself wondering when a game had last struck me as being filled with so many little surprises and unnecessary extra touches, including an entire co-op mode that’s apparently a bit buggy but awesome nonetheless. Hat Kid mainly communicates through one-word sentences but stands out in a sea of platformer protagonists because of the obvious love that went into her animation and soundwork, and the game as a whole has an amazingly strong aesthetic. I was genuinely upset to find that the Hat Kid plush toys are currently out of stock. There’s not much of an overarching plot but each chapter tells its own story and feels distinct, and there isn’t any filler content even though you only need 25 out of 40 time pieces to reach the ending. This is definitely more forgiving than Yooka-Laylee, which has yet to let me fight the final boss. A Hat In Time has at least a few challenging sequences for completionists to endure, including a badge that makes you die in one hit if you hate yourself that much, but crucially that stuff is optional if you just want to have an adorable adventure without too much swearing.

I’ve tried very hard in this review not to come across as overly gushing, because no game is perfect and I definitely have a soft spot for ambitious indie projects. As someone who only really heard about the game once it was out, though, A Hat In Time snuck up on me with how impressive it is as a crowdfunded game. Despite the many obstacles described in interviews, Gears For Breakfast delivered a platformer which I honestly hope Nintendo takes a few notes from, given that Mario has had a bit of a monopoly on 3D platformers ever since the genre went out of vogue. Super Mario Odyssey represents the peak of what a big-budget 3D platformer can do, but A Hat In Time is undeniably impressive as a smaller project and I honestly prefer it in a lot of ways, not least of all because it packs so much charm into a small package and introduces the world to an lovable new platformer mascot. Even if Yooka-Laylee disappointed a lot of people, it’s still really cool to see games like A Hat In Time and Snake Pass giving Nintendo some competition again. After years of 8 and 16-bit indie games, there now seems to be a growing nostalgia for games from the early days of 3D, and as someone who grew up around that time, the prospect of new games that revive and improve ideas from that era is obviously thrilling.

Hyperbole aside, probably the greatest compliment I can give A Hat In Time is that it lives up to the standard of quality set by that theme music: beautiful, original and unrelentingly exciting.

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Mario & Sonic at the Olympics: Tokyo 2020 Offers a Few New Twists

It’s about that time again where athletes from around the world are preparing to compete for glory at the 2020 Olympics in Tokyo. Meanwhile, the games are already underway for Sonic, Mario and their friends in the latest installment of their long-running series based on the historical sporting event. This Olympic clash of gaming mascots is being taken right to their country of origin in Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games Tokyo 2020 for the Nintendo Switch. And if the name “Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games” is any indication, you know exactly what kind of game you’re getting into.

As with previous titles, up to 4 players can choose from a vast array of characters from both the Mario and Sonic franchises to compete in a collection of more than 30 minigames inspired by actual sporting events in the upcoming Olympic games. These include anything from 100m dashes, badminton, and Olympic diving. You can even participate in some of the newest Olympic events such as skateboarding, karate, surfing, and climbing. The game also includes a story mode in which Mario and Sonic are sucked into a retro gaming system and must compete in the 1964 Tokyo Olympics to escape while their friends on the outside compete in the 2020 Tokyo Olympics. 

New to the series are the pixelated sporting events that have you play as the earliest game iterations of Mario, Sonic and others. These minigames are vastly different from the traditional 3D challenges, as they have you playing charming arcade versions of certain events. The Dream Minigames also make a comeback, in which you and your fellow players take each other on in wacky competitions that are less attuned to the grounded nature of Olympic events. 

If you’ve been keeping up with Mario and Sonic throughout their Olympic escapades, then you’ll probably know what to expect from their latest outing. You have your eclectic collection of simple yet challenging minigames all wrapped up in a homey crossover package. Surprisingly fluid motion controls and accommodation for all controller types make the game pretty accessible to anyone, but nothing ever truly pushes the envelope in terms of execution.  

While having a distinct Japanese flavor becoming of SEGA’s home country, Tokyo 2020 offers up a lot more of the same. It’s easy to pick up and share with your friends, and there are plenty of games to choose from. It’s no Mario Party level of intense, friendship-ending competition, but it’s entertaining enough to break out on game night and a serviceable time-killer when flying solo.

One thing I wasn’t exactly used to was having to select individual games. Tokyo 2020 features a Quick Play option that lets you dive into many of the minigames this title has to offer. Yet I found myself stumbling at the end of each one having to go out and select a new character, then select a game, then back out to select a new game and a new character all over again. Maybe I’m just too used to the party game formula that more or less offers me a grab bag of challenges with each run, but a little more structure and a little less menu hopping would’ve really helped toward a more seamless experience.

This latest installment isn’t without some noticeable spots of higher-than-average enjoyment, thankfully. While some minigames are pretty straightforward, there is a surprising sense of variety when it comes to some of the newer additions featured in Tokyo 2020. Skateboarding and Karate were some of my favorite events to play, as they both require a little more skill and creativity in their execution. The retro games feature a very appealing aesthetic whose gameplay and style are sure to please fans of the old classics. The Dream Minigames, as with previous installments, also provide brief snippets of gameplay that could honestly stand to be part of their own title. And a markedly better one at that.

Take “Dream Racing,” for instance, a returning staple. As the name suggests, you race on a crazy futuristic track using a hoverboard. You can perform tricks to boost your speed and even pick up items to trip up your opponents, like the dreaded Red Shell that Mario Kart fans will surely recognize. The newest addition is Dream Karate (my personal favorite, pictured above), which has you kicking and punching opponents with flashy special moves in order to gain territory on a game board. Then you have another comeback in Dream Shooting, where you run around an obstacle course shooting targets to rack up points. 

As per the Mario & Sonic standard, the Dream Minigames are just fun little pit stops that provide a lovingly-wacky spin to shake up what is typically a by-the-numbers love letter to the upcoming Olympics. This deviation from the otherwise semi-realistic minigames are always, if nothing else, refreshing twists to an otherwise formulaic series.

  And believe it or not, I was able to squeeze some enjoyment out of the story mode as well. While the narrative itself is pretty tedious and unremarkable (the excuses everyone makes to play Olympic events instead of rescuing Sonic and Mario get lamer and lamer), you’re able to visit fantastical versions of famous Japanese landmarks and tourist attractions. As you progress, you can unlock new games and characters to add to your roster.

But my favorite part was actually finding out neat little historical tidbits. Scattered throughout certain levels are NPCs and shiny pick-ups that provide brief facts about either a Japanese historical landmark or fun facts about Olympics history in and around Japan. I honestly had a lot of fun scouring different areas just to learn a new fact about the Olympics. 

There have been several installments of the Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games series that we've seen before, and while it was a neat idea way back in 2007, it’s since become a standard copy/paste affair that consistently hits a middle ground of “just fun enough.” In that sense, Tokyo 2020 isn’t terribly different from its predecessors. The traditional Olympics challenges are still charming enough while never being too innovative or labor-intensive. The Dream Minigames and retro arcade bits are nice little pops of color, and Story Mode was a lot more educational than I thought it was going to be. 

It basically boils down to whether or not you enjoy Mario and Sonic’s Olympic outings to begin with. If you enjoyed the previous ones, you’ll enjoy this one. If you’ve never touched one, it’s as good a place to start as any. Anyone looking for a more legitimate and exciting party game experience may want to look elsewhere, but you could certainly do worse. 

Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games: Tokyo 2020 is a lot like watching the actual Olympics every four years. It’s there for you to check out for a little while. You’re not missing out on much if you don’t watch them, but there’s some fun to be had if you do.

REVIEW ROUND-UP:

+ Dream Minigames are, as always, super fun

+ Retro games and aesthetic are charming, welcome additions

+/- Not terribly different from any other Mario and Sonic title

- Story mode is tedious

- Jumping from game to game can be clunky

  What are some of your favorite new minigames? Looking forward to the real Olympics in Tokyo this summer? Comment below and let us know!

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Carlos is a freelance features writer for Crunchyroll. Their favorite genres range from magical girls to over-the-top robot action, yet their favorite characters are always the obscure ones. Check out some of their satirical work on The Hard Times.

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