#the message is basically 'dont trust the system'

[wedding-shemp]

Right wingers being obsessed with the matrix isn't embarrassing because it was made by trans women, it's embarrassing because the matrix is a deeply silly movie. I feel like this is a point that's gotten lost over the years. the matrix is goofy as all get out and it's very funny that so many people have based their deranged quasifacist ideology on a movie where lawrence fishburn teaches keaunu reeves to fly

[cantarella-s]

who’s bianca conchita

OKAY OKAY SO. HAVE YOU LISTENED TO DAUGHTER OF EVIL AND SERVANT OF EVIL? (PERHAPS REGRET MESSAGE TOO?)

BANICA IS FROM THE SAME UNIVERSE! I'll try to be brief here but since i dont trust myself ill put the rest under a cut <3

Content warning for a lot. And I mean a lot of Cannibalism. also mentions of weight. and eating stuff that really shouldn't be eaten

Evillious chronicles is based around the 7 deadly sins (lust, gluttony, pride, sloth, envy, greed, wrath) (the order i put those in is important i promise)

Rilliane's (The Rin from daughter of evil-servant of evil-regret message) (theres more songs to that arc but those are the most popular and. personally not a big fan of twiright prank sorry </3) arc is pride arc!

But today we'll be talking abt Banica, whose arc is gluttony. She's a Meiko module(? i think thats the word) and therefore very pretty <3

She has two songs as far as I remember, first of which takes place during Gluttony arc [Evil Food Eater Conchita] and the second of which takes place after in the. Limbo areas tbh I don't understand how the court and graveyard work </3 but this second song is called Master of the Graveyard

Only one other song from Gluttony arc is coming to mind [Drug of Gold] but i think there are a few more that are somewhat related? Like Hänsel and Gretel's songs mention their incarnations as Arte and Pollo

So! Now that that's out of the way, I'll start explaining her story to the best of my ability (<- went through evillious wikis religiously last year) (sorry vany if you're seeing this i went a little insane back then)

It starts off with people celebrating Banica's birth (she's a future duke! unless im misremembering she got the title of duke and not duchess) with a feast! But the baemu pig they ate happened to have the glass of conchita (vessel for gluttony) in it's system and ended up giving everyone that ate it The Disease™.

this disease (its called Gula) kills them if theyre not full all the time. so they end up eating a lot of fucked up shit (iirc cardboard was on that list?)

banica didnt have gula but her mom still made her eat the same portions as everyone else AND THEN BASICALLY EVERYONE DIES. at some point banica's mom tries eating the corpse of a dead servant when her dad shot her mom.

after the death of her mom banica locked herself up in the food storage basement thing of her mansion :( but a little while later two twin servants appeared, arte and pollo! (they are reincarnations of hänsel and gretel. basically the kind of people that rilliane and allen were supposed to be) she became close friends w the twins and stayed w them basically all the time <3

basically arte and pollo were introduced to banica by her dad or some other surviving servant. timeskip a lil and she's engaged to this guy called Carlos Marlon who's a prince. they spoke and she did make a good impression on his parents! yay!

and i dont rmb how true this is, but i do think i read somewhere that carlos commented on her being overweight? sorry i wasnt nearly as fixated on gluttony arc as some of the other arcs

over a bunch of months, they became close and warmed up to the idea of marriage. but like during this time she ate less than usual bc she was afraid carlos would dislike her if he found out what she was like

then another feast. but there was a wine glass. this brought all of banica's trauma relating to the glass of conchita back and she became fixated on the left overs before eating all the food on the table. this then led to her engagement getting cancelled :(

after her engagement was cancelled, she went back to the mansion and she decided to immerse herself in food and food culture. she gained the title of a gourmand in her country, beelzenia! (im p sure its based of spain :3)

she travelled to several other countries (arte and pollo in tow bc ofc <3) to improve beelzenia's food culture! girlboss! she learned abt many famous chefs, one of which was josef crim. unfortunately he's dead :(

copy pasting the next para from the wiki -

' Supported by Juno, Banica introduced her ideas to Beelzenia, greatly improving its food culture and adding to its cuisine, radically increasing the domestic foods in the empire as a result. During this period she began developing a new wine, dubbed "Blood Grave", with the cooperation of the local farmers. '

so yeah! things are going great for banica! she even got the formal title of "Noble Gourmand Banica" (gourmand from before was probably more of a nickname)

and then her dad died

sorry queen </3 just like when her engagement was broken off, she found solace in food. around this time is when she got the title of duke. she traveled some more bc she was still grieving her dad when she got the news that one of her loyal servants, Ron, went missing.

but she collapsed when she went back bc of organ abnormalities. when she got checked out by her doctor, they concluded it was bc of her overeating.

but arte and pollo, loyal servants as they are, had been keeping the glass of conchita (that housed the demon of gluttony) with them! and since their master might die soon, they decided it was the perfect time to use it. they kept it by her bedside and the demon started talking to banica.

it told her abt how she'd only eaten half of the world's food and theres sooo much more for her to consume <3<3 she should totally make a contract with it! she wouldnt die if she made the contract + she'd get to eat more and more of the food this beautiful world has to offer

she initially declined bc yknow all of that stuff happened that happened when she was young? she knows that her mom and the other servants died bc of the demon (or more specifically the disease which was caused by the demon)

the demon left but kept the wine glass and said that if she drank from it, the contract would be sealed. -> "The next morning she awoke and saw the glass, realizing it was full of baemu blood when smelling it. Consumed by her curiosity, Banica drank after minimal hesitation, making the contract." [copy pasted from the wiki]

after making the contract, she 'miraculously' made a full recovery! she also became thinner. with her new abilities, she decided to try eating stuff she's never tried.

she held a banquet with her, the duke, as the host. at the end, she asked her servants to bring dessert which included live insects and spiders. [sorry banica but thats kinda gross </3] the audience she had was pretty disgusted but she had fun at least?

some time passed after the banquet and she decided she wouldn't leave the mansion anymore and have arte and pollo manage the estate and her territories. she did it on accounts of her organ abnormalities :3

after denouncing the outside world she used the demon's powers to reanimate the dead bc yes! she reanimated the servants and created an undead army to guard her mansion. she also reanimated livestock to serve as her meals.

after that point she began hiring a bunch of chefs to make her food but she was always irritated at them bc they were disgusted by her appetite. so of course, she had arte and pollo kill and then cook them so she could eat their corpses. girl moment fr

after getting rid of one guy, she hired Josef Crim. but you might be wondering, isnt josef dead??? well. thats not josef. thats Carlos. her former fiance. so at one point she gets drunk and they fuck 👍 she's pregnant now

oh yeah the imperial family's kept sending letters to her but she ignored them like spam callers. so they sent an army! but she has an undead army WOOOOOO!! Carlos-Josef recognized Ron (guy from earlier) and banica told him how she now wants to devour the world <3

carlos was scared so he tried to escape. banica sent arte and pollo to catch him and he gave the excuse of trying to take a vacation but. he's not allowed vacations <3 banica is niceys tho so she didnt have him killed. yet.

a few days later, carlos served her poison soup (that he'd eat together bc dying together is pretty romantic. carlos really was onto smthn there) but she is a demon contractor and cannot die unless its at the hands of another contractor or vessel so. Only carlos died. a shame, really.

banica figured out what happened so since he's already dead, might as well have arte and pollo cook him. nothing like eating your lover <3

fast forward a few months, her baby is born! woooo!!! i dont really rmb what happens next but she does end up eating arte and pollo. in the words of leo, Oh kaito we're really in it now

banica ran out of food and servants. and since she's a contractor of gluttony, she's still hungry. fuck. oh shit her baby's crying. hey. the baby is food, right? she can eat that, right?

so she took a plate out and put the baby on it.

and she was going to eat it but after seeing the kid's face, she decided not to bc thats her kid.

the demon doesnt like that very much and tells her that hey, actually, yknow that poison that guy fed you? yeah it's actually one of the few things that *can* kill you and is actually do it!

basically the poison was shavings of the vessel of wrath (the golden key. hence. drug of gold) and it def can kill her. not sure if it would work as slowly as the demon is claiming, but it would most definitely kill her in larger amounts. and she ate carlos who also had a dose of the poison in him.

the demon said the kid is a 'vaccine' for that (bro thats. Not how vaccines work at all) but she still refused to eat her child. she began to see the demon take shape in her mind and it looks like a baemu pig with bat wings. yeah. sounds horrifyingly disgusting.

so she ate herself! wahoo <3 copy pasting the wiki again

' Exploiting her contract, Banica's consumption of her body allowed her to become a demon herself; gaining all of the demon's knowledge and power. '

so thats technically the end of gluttony arc but she does have more to her story (from Master of the Graveyard and i think a few other songs?) but i dont rmb most of that sorry </3

if you actually managed to read all of that. damn Thank you

[non-binharry]

Ugh i didnt save the messages :/ thats my bad. tumblr desktop need to update ask boxes kfdsjklha

omgg wholeheartedly agree, tried to send emma a message on desktop once and realized this new mobile feature has spoiled us 😔

[lunarifie]

Rewatching Ninjago

(With no context other than the episode)

The Tournament of Elements episode 5-6

Dont get me wrong i love dareth but why is he the most prominent side side character in the show

Coles whistling sounds so pretty

I love how Cole accepted his faith, giving up, but then he found Zane, gaining a whole new motivation to escape.

Its canon that Dareth nows makeup :)

It was so funny how Nya just kept swatting Jays face until he fucking paid attention and looked 💀

Nya: that means theres a spy!

Literally ten seconds after skyler gives Kai the message she got from cole

Kai: a spy… its a good thing we have some people we can trust. thanks skyler!

Omfg i cant with him

Cole: Time to break out!

(Starts running on the conveyor belt and eating pasta as a show of rebellion)

BFJSNFJDNJR

It was so unexpected

Cole doesnt have his super strength or his elemental powers and he’s still taking on 12 guards at a time and winning

Nevermind

HE GOT THE KEYS

Zane: Cole.. you came back.

Cole: of course i did you shiny new tin can!!! (Hugs him) can you feel the love!

Zane: no.

Cole: ☹️

I really thought Nya was gonna just run away but ripping the spell page out of the book is so smart

Zane: the serpents strategy is very clever-

Cole: WERE ABOUT TO BE EATEN, ZANE.

Cole: pixal?!?!? you got a girl stuck in your head?!?!!!

Coles lines are always the best

Chen: youre harshing my viiiibe 🙄💅

Holy shit dareth can actually sing, good for him

A painting falls on Jay and suddenly hes immobile, get yourself together my guy

Kinda crazy how there's spys on both sides here

Oh wait

The title is ‘spy for a spy’

I'm stupid

The ninja will be like ‘a ninja should-’ and ‘a ninja shouldnt’ and then just say basic morals

Nya is such a girlboss in this

See this is what im talking about when I say she knows how to fight

Its so cool that one of the most intense battles we get in a season called ‘the tournament of the elements’ is nya against clouse

Ohhhh okay so skylers his daughter

Honestly thought she was his granddaughter with how old he was

Jay: they want us to hunt nya down! She wont stand a chance!

Jesus jay have a little faith in her, now ik what she means when she said you dont take her seriously

Ik Skyler is withering in guilt bc everytime she talks to Kai it's like ‘yes, im here for a loved one and im trying my best, oh and that's my sister were all hunting down, another loved one.’

He doesn't catch a break

Why did they ALL let go of their parachutes when the floor gave way.

Lloyd saving his father by giving him the parachute and Garmadom immediately growing worried and angry is just- 👌

Wait Lloyd can make an energy dragon?

Thought that was something he could only do as the golden ninja

Maybe the golden power was like a boost. Helped him work his powers better and now it's more difficult.

Can all the ninja do that? Is that like a thing? Making an energy dragon?

Nya is so smart she's great

Coles covered in powder AGAIN why does he keep doing this

Zane: with all our combined weight, escaping through the system should be fine.

Darreth enters the scene

Cole: time to think up another plan

That was so mean 😭

Chen was always just like that huh

Garmadon was so… sincere. So good even when evil was consuming him. He didn't even want to replace Wus love letter with his name

Okay yeah I fucking hate Chen he can rot in hell.

Kai: maybe we should be together- wait no that didnt come out right. I mean its a big island so maybe if we were a couple. Wait no! What i mean is-

Hes so in deep

Hes so ‘confident’ and flirtatious like that girl at the gas station but when he actually likes someone hes such a goofball :)

Mr pale: youll never get away with this chen.

Chen: Really? Where have you been! Ive been getting away with this time and time again!

I cant believe they showed that the master of flight was killed and due to that he had no descendent to give his power to

The tea lady!!!!

Kai and Nyas parents :)

Its so nice to see these cameos

Dont the anacondrai generals come back sometime in skybound?

Wait I thought Wu and Misako knew about Garmadons letter and him training under chen

Cole: okay, so maybe rolling ourselves up into giant eggrolls isnt the best plan.

Karlof: we could make a roto jet

Zane: that could actually work!

Cole:

Cole: we’re UNDERGROUND.

Okay but what is actually inherently wrong with clouses use of the dark art.

From what i can tell, its able to use a bit of every element and more but what's wrong with it other than how him using it for malicious intent

Holy shit Jay just fucking exploded

SKYLER.

How did she not think that through

You JUST used the ice power of the friend Kais literally searching for

On the other hand she was being really truthful at that moment in wanting to make sure Kais friends were okay and in a moment of desperation, used Zanes power. Which she would not have done if she was thinking carefully about keeping herself hidden as the spy.

The way they animate Skyler makes her so emotionless. Like, give my girl more than one expression.

[yummyyume]

Of Love and Sunlight - Part 02

Here it is! To be perfectly honest with all of you, this part has been written first. There will be a part 03, somewhen in the future. I just need to write it. And there are some tentatives plot bunnies for a part 04. So we’ll see how it works out.

You can visit my AO3 if you want. I’ll post Of Love and Sunlight there soon. 

Part 01

Hope you all like it!

Tittles are adapted from Sunlight by Hozier, because I love this song and I didn’t have any idea how to name this series.

I apologize for any spelling or grammar errors, English is not my first language. I hope it’s still intelligible.

Taglist:

@alysrose-starchild @vixen-uchiha @dont-panic-to-much @ramos123 @stackofrandomstuff @thecaptainthunder @redbullgivescaswings @megaafangirl @thebooki3h @zorua-adorable  @user00000003 @eliza-bich @transcendent-heroes @a4-machete @nyx-in-line @stainedglassm @maskedpainter @schrodingers25 @iamabrownfox @corporeal-terrestrial

.

.

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Hold me, carry me slowly

.

Marinette opens her front door tiredly. It’s far too early for anyone to be bothering her yet. She’s only awake because the twins are going to start fussing soon, and despite her short night, she prefers waking up with her alarm than with her babies’ cries. It tends to make her panic if they’re the ones waking her up, because her mind immediately wonders what’s wrong instead of remembering that it’s feeding time.

She’s not expecting to see Jon and Damian on her front step. She hurriedly steps out and closes the door behind her to bare them entry, leaving only a sliver open so she’ll hear her babies if anything happened.

“What are you doing here?” She hisses, glaring.

“We wanted to talk to you, Marinette,” Damian replies, words mild, expression politely blank, while Jon looks both hopeful and sheepish.

Marinette’s blood boils.

“I have nothing to say to either of you!” She snaps back. “You made it perfectly clear that you want nothing to do with me! Well, I don’t want anything to do with you!”

It’s only because she knows him so well that she sees Jon’s flinch at her words, but despite that he takes a step forward, careful not to touch her. Marinette takes a step back and curses the fact that the door is in the way.

“Marinette, we’re sorry. We’re really, really sorry for everything and we would like to talk. Please.”

And Marinette has always been weak to Jon’s earnest tone and puppy dog eyes. She wants to let them in and listens to what sort of flimsy excuses they came up with, because she missed them. She missed them so much, but they broke her heart and she’s not ready to let them break her babies’ hearts too.

Just as she’s about to open her mouth and tell them to get lost, there’s a sharp wail coming from the bedroom and at their suddenly alert expressions, she knows they heard it too. She closes her eyes just as a second wail starts and she knows there’s no getting rid of them now.

“Are you…” Jon starts, eyes fixed intently on the door. “Marinette, are you babysitting?”

She only sighs in answer and opens the door to get back inside. She doesn’t close it in their face as much as she wants to, because she knows they’re about to follow.

The girls are both fussing in their crib and Marinette scoops Scarlet up for a nappy change. She takes the time to put Asha’s pacifier back into her mouth before moving to the changing table.

“There, there. No need to cry. It’s just a soil nappy. We know how to take care of those.” She coos gently. “There, you go. All clean. I’m going to change Asha now and then we’ll have a nice breakfast, okay?”

She puts Scarlett back in the crib despite her complains and repeats the whole process with Asha.

She can feel the boys’ eyes on her, and it makes her want to lash out.

“Are they ours?” Damian demands.

“They’re mine,” she snaps, not looking at him. “There’re no fathers list on the birth certificates. They don’t need any dads, they have me.”

“But they’re ours, right?” Jon presses, tone so hopeful, but Marinette refuses to answer. That’s an answer in itself.

“Why didn’t you tell us? Why didn’t you call?” Damian speaks again.

“I called you!” She hissed, eyes blazing in anger, but keeping her tone even so as not to upset her babies too much. “I called you and left voicemails and then both your numbers were disconnected, and I got the message! If you didn’t want anything to do with me, then I didn’t want anything to do with you either!”

“I didn’t change my number,” Damian says slowly, eyes never leaving the little face on the changing table. And then what he said seem to register and he retrieves his phone with a deep frown to swipe through the apps. “It’s not the same number.” He then looks at Jon with an almost wide-eyed look and Jon takes out his own phone to seemingly so the same manip.

“Me too,” he reveals, shocked. “Someone changed our numbers. Damian!” He hisses, this time with a glare for his boyfriend.

“Marinette, can you please give us the possibility to explain-”

“I’m this close to throw you both out, Damian! There’s nothing you could say that would make anything that you did okay!” She replies hotly.

“Please, Mari,” he pleads. “Please, just hear us out. You can throw us out after. I promise, if you want us to go, we will.”

Jon doesn’t add anything, but he bites his bottom lip and nods jerkily.

“Just… just go. Wait in the living room. I need to feed the girls.”

They both listen, thankfully. Marinette needs a minute.

Someone changed their phone numbers? Without their consent? That seems stupid and unfeasible, but… but she wants to believe them. She missed them. God, she missed them so much.

Marinette fusses a bit with Asha’s onesie and tries to make a list of all the reasons why she shouldn’t let them back in her life. When Scarlett makes an impatient noise that announces her readiness to cry again, Marinette knows that she can’t wait any longer. She scoops the girls with their favorite plushies and goes to the living room.

Damian and Jon are sitting squished on the armchair beside the couch.

Marinette sighs again and sits carefully in front of the couch on the plush carpet. It takes some maneuvering, but soon Asha is leaning across her lap, gently sucking her pacifier and looking at Marinette with all the trust her little baby heart knows. Marinette arranges the Tikki plushy on her tummy so she can grasp it.

“Let’s feed Scarlett,” she tells her daughter. “You know she’s always hungry.”

She then uncovers her left breast and, removing the pacifier, guides Scarlett to her nipple. The baby latches onto it and start sucking greedily, her little fingers kneading Marinette’s sleep shirt.

And then she waits. She’s not going to make things easy for them.

Jon is the first to move, seemingly transfigured by the sign of his daughter. He stands up in the living-room to face her.

“It’ll be easier to show you.” He says, before starting to spin so fast he’s only a blur, but when he stops, he’s wearing Superboy’s uniform and Marinette feels like a stone has dropped to the bottom of her stomach.

“I’m Superboy,” Jon tells her almost gently, as if he doesn’t want to spook her.

“And I’m Robin,” Damian utters after him. He hasn’t moved from the armchair, but there’s a green domino mask between his fingers.

“Oh,” Marinette says quietly, before she drops her gaze to Scarlett’s face. Her daughter has closed her eyes while she’s nursing.

Marinette… Marinette doesn’t know what to say. She knows what it means to be a hero. She used to be one, after all. She knows the sacrifices, the missed opportunities and the excuses. She knows the necessity for a secret identity and what it means to trust someone with it.

“You broke my heart,” she admits in a whisper, because what else can she say in the face of that, and she can feel her eyes prickle with tears.

Jon drops to his knees in front of her, back in his jeans and hoody.

“I’m so sorry, Mari. I never wanted to do that. It broke mine too to end things, but we couldn’t tell you.”

“We asked for the permission to tell you our identities,” Damian says, kneeling beside Jon on the carpet to face her, “but we were denied.”

“We had a long mission,” Jon continues. “Dad, Aunt Kara, Conner and me, as the last Kryptonians, were asked to help two planets come to an understanding. They were at war and their whole solar system was suffering from it. The mission was to stop the war long enough for a ceasefire and then helps with negotiating a peace treaty. Green Lantern helped and Damian-”

“I wasn’t going to let Jon walks into a dangerous fight without back up,” Damian cuts him off.

“I’m basically indestructible!” Jon replies without any real heat, proving it was an old argument. “And Dad, Aunt Kara and Kon were my back up!”

Damian ignores the interruption, focusing back on Marinette.

“The Green Lantern Corps was part of the mission too and while it’s officially over, the situation is still tense on those planets. The Corps is keeping an eye on things for now. We may have to go back if things turn south again, but hopefully, it won’t require our deployment again.”

“And we wanted to tell you the truth.” Jon tells her, earnest and heartbroken. “But when we asked our dads, they said our relationship was too new. That we couldn’t risk it. Even more so because we were going to leave for months and we wouldn’t be there to ‘make sure you don’t tell anyone’.” he finishes bitterly.

“As much as we didn’t want to end our relationship with you, without the permission to tell you the truth, we couldn’t disappear from the face of the earth and invent an excuse like ‘we’re doing a tour of the world and you’re not invited’.” Damian sighs and grabs Jon’s hand tightly. “We spent the last few months trying to come up with a way to win you back. Anytime we had some down time, we brainstormed about what we’ll do once we’re back on Earth.”

During their explanation, Marinette had switched the girls for feeding. Across her lap, Scarlett was now looking in direction of the men, probably intrigued by those new voices she didn’t know.

“And the phone numbers?” She eventually asks.

Damian slumps, breaking his rigid posture. “Do you know who my father is?” He asks.

“Batman?” She tries, but she’s almost certain. If he’s Robin, then it makes sense for his father to be the big bat himself. Which also mean that his siblings are the other Gotham vigilantes.

“Yes. Jon and I had to leave our phones here. Even the communications with the Watchtower were scarce. If you called more than once, Father must have changed our numbers.”

“But why?” She growls. “What right did he have?! You’re both adults! He didn’t even try to find out why I was calling you!”

“I’m sorry, Mari. I know Father loves me, but he tends to do what he thinks is best without always consulting us. Rest assure that I’ll have words with him.”

Asha choses that moment to push away her breast and Marinette does the usual ministrations to clean her face and clears her stomach of gas.

She hesitates a second, before closing her eyes with a deep sigh.

When she opens them again, she holds Asha out like a present. Jon scrambles closer without hesitation and very carefully accepts her in his arms, following her instructions on how best to hold her.

“This is Asha. Asha Gina Dupain-Cheng. She’s Dami’s.”

“Oh my god,” Jon exhales and a few tears immediately escapes his eyes. “Hello, Asha. It’s very nice to meet you.” His voice cracks a bit as Damian looks over his shoulder with an expression so soft and lost that Marinette’s heart aches with it. She beckons Damian closer too and places Scarlett in his own arms.

“And this is Scarlett Sabine Dupain-Cheng. She’s Jon’s.”

Damian is more confident in holding her, so he frees a hand to gently run his finger down her skin.

“Hello, Scarlett.”

“How…” Jon chocks on his tears. “How does it work? They’re twins, right?”

Arms free, Marinette slumps against the couch.

“It’s called ‘heteropaternal superfecundation’. My ovaries released two eggs at the same time, and both were fertilized. That alone would have resulted in fraternal twins. Except that one was fertilized by Jon and the other by Dami. So, twin babies with different bio dads.”

Because her Luck was just like that. Of course, Tikki’s influence would make Marinette’s first pregnancy the result of almost impossible odds.

For a long moment no one say anything. Jon and Damian are pressed so tightly together, both alternating looking at each baby in their arms, that it brings s a reluctant smile to Marinette.

“You have so much groveling to do,” she tells them. “You broke my heart. I’m not kidding when I say that. And the father section on the birth certificates is going to stay blank until I can trust you again. But you do something like that again and Scarlett, Asha and I are out of your lives for good. I don’t care if Scarlett is half-alien. They’re mine more than they’re yours right now. I carried them for eight months, I gave birth to them, and now I’m feeding them. And I was alone for all of that.”

“I promise, Habibti, that we’ll prove to you we’re here to stay. We want you and we want the girls.”

“It was a long mission,” Jon grins cheekily. “We definitely earned some downtime.”

“Exactly,” Damian agrees. “What would you like for breakfast, Mari? I’ll cook.”

“I made French toasts, last night. The preparation is in the fridge. You can cook that.”

With a small smile, Damian carefully gives her back Scarlett and then presses a dry kiss to Marinette’s forehead, before disappearing in the kitchen.

Jon moves until he’s sitting by her side against the couch and smiles at her. She missed his smile.

“So, what can you tell me about your daughters?”

“They are very healthy babies,” Marinette starts. “Scarlett definitely inherits your appetite. I need to complement her diet with formula because I don’t produce enough milk for all her feeding, plus Asha’s. That’s the alien biology, I suppose?”

“Yeah. Mom had some problem with that too when she had me, but at least she only had one baby to feed. What about Asha?”

“She’s fine with just breast milk, but she’s fussier when it’s time for sleep. I hope she’s not a premature insomniac, but now that I know about your nightly activities, I shan’t hold my breath.”

Jon snickers.

Breakfast is a lively affair. The French toast was only one portion, so Dami made pancakes and a fruit salad to accommodate Jon’s and his appetite. For the first time in weeks, Marinette can eat without one of her arms being commandeered by one of the twins. She knows things aren’t completely better. They need to talk about their relationship, their expectations, and relearn what it means to be together, all three of them plus two babies. But that particular conversation can wait a bit. For now, Marinette tells them about Asha’s curiosity and Scarlett’s boundless energy, about some of the weirdest things that happened during her pregnancy.

Things will work out. She’ll make sure of that.

[ra-ttdrp]

Ricochet

Dr. Ra:

I bring Nash back in the most basic way trying not to set off anything coming out of his genes. He reminded me so much of Nemo I felt more numbed guilt. It was easier to abuse him when I hated Lor'Ra enough to betray them all. Or maybe it was having all the his memories in my head to be more sympathetic and regretful. Now they're both dead when I tried to take it all back. I should have never did it.

"Nash...? What is it?? Why are you so upset?"

He was crying and not making much sense .. like his father..

The kind if despair felt all too much, I wonder if he posioned himself it seemed more like a reasonable theory of what happened.

Then he finely has enough clarity to bash the light panel above him on the table. My face viser goes over my eyes so I don't get cut by the glass.

"Ahh.. not helping kid! If you cant tell me I cant help you!"

(Nash): "No light no light..."

He doesn't want to recharge the Scintille crystals in his body that makes the energy?.. not that there is alot left after he posioned himself..

"Then...put the moonstone in a ...tooth filling or something...earing? DONT EAT IT!"

I snap at how crazy this was. Maybe I need to think of him not as the same case as Nemo after all. It passed.. generically..

....what the hell did I make???!

Borin comes in and I go into bitch mode cause I felt so guilty about..all of this.

"Prince??? I..brought him back...like you said.."

I bow a little bit but he seemed... upset. Maybe Soren got taken..

How nice..the whole family can be together ...

*rolls eyes jealously*

(Borin): "Oh good you're alive, now I can RING YOUR STUIPD NECK DID YOU SET ME UP!!!!????!!!"

(Nash): *looks surprised then goes with it hoping Borin kills him* "Maybe I did...did you really think you could trust me???" He tries to hiss but Borin shoves the medical table shoved backwards and Nash tangled up in the ivs with a painful yelp.

(Borin): "HOW DARE YOU BETRAY ME FOR THOSE SAVAGES!! I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU WISH YOU WERE DEAD!!!"

"Borin I JUST put him back together, please errr!!" I look alarmed at how violent he was being..so unusual for Borin....

My worms - that still are enhanced with Perry's venom - easily detect the posion in Borin's system. But it was different then what Gwen got. It was effecting his mind.. he seemed unrationaly violent.....

I should..probbaly...do something but I get a Mhy space message and I send it to my face visor to block out deranged Borin traumatizing Nash more so then he already was obviously in the background.

"Settie!! Where are you?!!" I try to hold back my glee despite the terrible scene I found myself in.

(Settie) :"I dont know!!? In a cave..somewhere..like theres big furry spiders outside.."

"Is Perry there??"

(Settie): "No he left hours ago...and I went on MHY SPACE and HE HAS AN ACOUNT. WITH MY LAST NAME..LIKE I AM CLEARLY LISTED AS HIS SON. I THINK HE KNEW ALL ALONG! I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!"

...yeah.... no one in the resistance checked their 'congratulations' on your clone child message. I TRIED.

I never knew if Lor'Ra hid her dirty secret so good or if everyone just thought it was fake news and didn't even bother to open it. Spam inbox? I dont know. I really tried to get him out of here..before I got..attached..

*twitch*

"Uh Borin, I'll patch up Nash in like a couple hours kay? Gotta go.. Julian ... red alert..stuff." *flies out the window in OP suit before he can King Order me not too*

[crisps-craft]

Hi Crisp! I’m so glad you’re here, back, and allowing us to ask questions again. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 May I please ask about the significant other/soulmate who’s coming and about potential friends a.k.a. my tribe? Are they coming in the near future and how kind of dynamic will we have? Well they be protective, loyal, loving, trustworthy, and supportive?

I’m really emphasizing those things because I’m currently alone with no support system, and I’ve been working really hard to heal and change things and I just wanna know that the end is in sight basically lol. That there will be people who try to get me as much as I try to get them, and reciprocate what I try to give to them. I really want to know what safety and love look like and feel like in this lifetime. AK, Gemini sun

hi AK! here are some messages i got from spirit:

I can definitely see in that in the past, you've experienced a lot of falling outs. a lot of the cards in the reading also showed me how stressed you've been feeling. i think your spirit guides are worried about you. they might be trying to give you signs- especially 333 possibly? and 555 for sure. 5 represents changes coming and when our lives change and switch course- which is good! i think that is spirit saying that change is coming- but for change to come, you might also have to change your approach to things. i think, especially from the painful experiences of the past, its made you struggle to trust people or give them a chance. you might feel more critical of people when you first meet them- even if you arent consciously aware of it. its like you analyze if you can count on them or not.

your guides are just showing me that just to say that if you want change, you also have to be the change. i see this message in a good light, though! your spirit guides want you to continue putting yourself out there, embracing new experiences with an open mind and also trusting in yourself and your ability to give and receive love. i can see how frustrated you feel and i really feel new things are coming- but in order for them to happen, you have to actively manifest them. trying new experiences, meeting new people, trying new activities, etc. spirit wants you to embrace change and be open to all experiences. giving people a chance. cultivate self-love too! spirit is stressing that to me.

anyways, i love the energy that came in from your soul family. i got this warm homey feeling. it felt so warm and comfortable. like that person- im feeling like you might make a new best friend soon? it will be someone sensitive, introspective, and more aware. i think you will both be sensitive people and it will really help with the giving and receiving aspect because you will both be very similar people. look for people who have an energy you feel comfortable around- someone who you feel like you dont have to wear a mask around. thats the type of people in your soul family.

don't give your energy to the wrong people who do not appreciate you- spirit wants you to put your energy towards people who radiate more kindness perhaps? people who are similar- im getting sensitive shy and perceptive type. like infp personality type. its okay to want that depth and i completely understand how hard it is to find that <3 spirit is sending you lots of love. embrace new changes, new opportunities to create new experiences to replace the bad ones. keep moving forward and i have faith in you <3

i hope that this could help <3

[samwritesforyou]

We’re gonna be okay

Diego x reader

Summary: You and Diego worked out a system for a situation if he ever comes to your place while being in the highest form of distress and needs your help. He assured you it won’t happen often. Until one night, it finally did.

A/N: i feel like i’ve read the whole tumblr dot com worth of diego x reader fanfics and yet i still wanted more, so the desperate need to finally write something myself has been fulfilled. i would actually love to take requests, so if you want, dont hesitate to message/ask me! im ready to write fics and headcanons :) (my blog might seem new but ive been on tumblr for years and years and i finally dedicated a new blog to mostly reader inserts, either my own or reblogging others)

Warnings: Mentions of a panic attack, gender neutral reader

Wordcount: 3,350

There was a knock on the door.

It was pretty late, but not too late for it to be Diego yet.

Or so you thought.

You got up kinda lazily from a comfortable chair you had situated in the corner of a room, at first designed mainly for reading or napping, but ending up doing absolutely whatever you could on the spot. Eating pizza, watching netflix, browsing through the internet after long working hours that you put in into your tiny art selling business.

You slightly opened the door and already plastered a semi-fake smile for a possible neighbor, but in front of you stood Diego.

Your dear friend, who was at the moment soaked from the rain outside, with big eyes, fast breathing and bloody hands.

Bloody hands?!

“Hello to you too, friend!” you said quite worried, quickly patting him down for signs of any physical pain. For the first time in a while he seemed fine, unscarred.

Your eyes finally went up, literally scanning his face but it was completely unreadable.

His eyes were wide and he looked as if he couldn’t comprehend what was going on around him.

You looked down again and took his fists into your hands. His own palms unclenched and you could see that they were heavily bloodied.

“Diego.. whose blood is it?”

No answer.

You rushed him inside and closed the door behind the two of you, facing the damn vigilante again.

“Diego, I need to know who’s blood is on your hands,” your voice grew steadier as you knitted your brows together in worry and confusion.

Only then the guy decided to move his arms and you noticed how shaky he is. He connected his two index fingers in the form of a cross, pressing it to his chest.

Your own eyes went wide now as you stumbled back a few steps and your mind went blank.

.

.

.

You instantly remembered a night that happened a few years back. He has come in crumbling through your window and was obviously in some new form of distress, that you couldn’t quite understand yet.

“Diego?” it seemed like your voice didn’t reach his ears, so you tried calling out his name again, getting up from the couch and patting him lightly on the body, to determine any sign of an injury.

It looked like there was none, so you tried to reach his gaze that was somewhat absentminded, all over the place, scanning everything but not meeting your eyes.

He was a tough guy, and you knew it. You knew that if you want to get answers, you need to either get them yourself or make yourself heard, until he cannot ignore you any longer.

“Diego Hargreeves, what is going on?” your voice was soft yet determined.

His dark orbs finally stopped on your face and he just shook his head, his breathing oddly fast for a man who was just simply standing.

You continued to push. You didn’t have the best day either, and to be interrupted at 1am by his visit was nothing new, but you couldn’t let him have this behaviour. Even though you’re friends, that didn’t automatically mean that he could do whatever he wanted.

Throughout the whole night he didn’t say a thing, but when you started adding volume to your voice, he.. he just broke down.

That night, you’ve witnessed Diego experience a panic attack. Caused by yourself.

You couldn’t fall asleep that night, even after you eventually calmed him down and the only thing that was left to do for you was to watch him sleep and slowly rubbing circles on his exposed arm out of the blanket.

It felt like neons before you noticed a first ray of sunshine drawing from the half-closed curtains, making you spring to your feet and drag your ass to the kitchen, trying to think of what to do for breakfast.

When you figured the recipe out and finished cooking, Diego was already up and joined you near the kitchen counter, next to which you had two stools.

He settled on one of them, looking at you.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” you couldn’t muster anything better, so you just put a plate in front of him and then sat next to his side, simply digging into your portion of scrambled eggs.

“About last night, y/n..” he drifted off, probably at first deciding that it’s better to fill his stomach a little bit.

In the meantime you didn’t dare to speak up and just waited for him to say something, anything.

When he finished his meal, he finally turned to you with a sigh.

“You know that one guy I told you ‘bout? That we.. we do some vigilante shit together from time to time?”

You just nodded, not meeting his eyes.

“Well. I guess I could count him as a close friend. You know.. and,” this was followed by a slight pause and clearing of the throat.

“He died yesterday. I couldn’t save him.”

Your eyes immediately shot up to Diego and all that vulnerability and hurt that you’ve clearly seen yesterday just overtaking him were completely gone. Now present only a strong facade that he mastered whenever he needed to hide from showing emotions. You hated it.

“Shit, Diego..” you spoke quietly and softly, all the words seemed to have left you in all the things unsaid in your throat. But you tried to continue.

“I’m sorry. And I’m also sorry for pushing you over the edge. I.. I didn’t know what happened so I just acted how we would normally do,” he smirked at that, merely for a second, but you still caught it.

“Look, I.. I know, “ he simply said and then it felt as if he was weighting pros and cons of telling you something else that was clearly on his chest.

“You always help me out. Every single night I come to you.. Why do you do it, y/n?” Diego’s eyes were steadily turned your way.

At the sudden question you raised an eyebrow, “well, I.. I care about you.”

He lightly bit his lower lip and turned his gaze away, clearly thinking about something really hard.

“Okay,” he finally said, “y/n, do you think I could ask you for a favour then?”

At that your eyes met and you felt nervous, for some reason.

You really liked him. Not just like a friend. But you understood that there probably won’t be a chance for you two to ever become a couple (mostly considering that you didn’t believe that he could feel about you this way), so you settled for friendship anyways, since you two really got along well.

And having this handsome tough guy as a friend? Damn, just that is already some kind of luck swinging your way.

But your feelings of course meant that.. you’d do more for him than what you’d do just for a friend. You would get out of your comfort zone just to help him with injuries or hear him talk about his girlfriend (at the time, now they were broken up) and how they argued so much that he ended up on the streets and didn’t really want to go to his lonely place at the gym.

And you took him in. You always did. And since the day you became friends you always care for him.

And you’d care now once again.

“What is it?” in your tone danced a question, troubled with what he might ask for.

“Well, yesterday-“ he cut himself from finishing and cleared his throat, starting over.

“I imagine we’re gonna be friends for a long time, right?”

You just pushed your brows up with a small nod in affirmation.

“I never had.. anyone, really, to help me with the states I often got into,” you immediately thought of Eudora, wasn’t his ex-girlfriend supposed to be his support pillar? Or is he just making you feel sorry for him-

“Or I didn’t ever trust anyone that much, you know,” oh, okay, that kind of explains that then.

“And I guess.. I trust you enough? To share this?” he talked quietly and mumbled a lot so you realised soon you won’t be able to hear him at all.

You grabbed his hands with yours and caught his attention this way.

You were never really touchy together, but occasional hugs and even holding hands was kind of a standard for you from time to time.

His eyes met yours again and you cursed yourself for your heartbeat getting faster. This is not an appropriate moment to get butterflies in your stomach, dammit.

“I’m listening, Diego,” you confirmed, nodding again.

“Okay. It’s- it’s just really h-hard to talk about this,” he stuttered a bit, but with the next breath continued again, “When there’s some situation that’s just completely fucked up, like losing someone close to me, or- or somethin’ else, I don’t know.. I finish what I need at the scene where it happened but when I come home I just,” he breathed some air in and you felt his hands squeeze yours a bit tighter, “I just break down, you know? Sometimes it’s just all too much for me and I don’t know how to deal with it and I would just wanna.. someone to hold me, I guess? Otherwise when someone’s trying to talk at me or somethin’ I just get even more worked up and it’s even worse.”

It all started to come together in your mind. Even though it sounded really strange to hear Diego talk about things like.. wanting to be held and shit. But you always guessed there’s a far bigger sweetheart and a soft boy underneath all those harness and knives.

You tried to pick your words carefully.

“So when I started to ask you shit.. You just flipped. Basically because I was talking at you a lot and you couldn’t take it anymore, right?”

He sighed and looked somewhere up, nodding bit by bit.

“Yeah, yep. That was it.”

You clapped at his hands lightly, to bring his focus back again and he looked at you and mustered a sad, faint smile.

You did the same. In the world you lived in, unforeseen and unfortunate events were happening left and right and thinking about his childhood and everything.. no wonders he developed such a huge reaction and coping mechanism to something catastrophic happening.

“That’s okay, Diego. I’m here for you, I mean it. Let’s just talk about some things what I should and shouldn’t do when you come here in that state, alright? I just want you to feel comfortable.”

“Alright. Thank you, y/n,” he was looking down now, the whole morning kinda failing to meet your gaze and just rubbed his thumb across your hand, which send you heart into a race again.

You slowly let go of him, making an excuse to go wash the dishes.

After a while you looked behind you where he sat and said, “We also need some sort of a sign that you can easily show me, since you’re not really talkative when you get like this.”

Apparently he already used said “sign” somewhere, because he had it on the ready.

It was his hands clutching in fists, index fingers crossing each other in a form of a cross, pressed to his chest.

“Something like this. But don’t worry, I don’t think it’ll happen often. That would be really sad,” he laughed a little and then looked at you somewhat longingly and you averted your eyes back to the sink, nodding.

.

.

You almost forgot about that and now it all come flooding back.

Something terrible must’ve happened. You were panicking, but you had to stay strong, for him.

He was still standing in your hallway, with a crossed index fingers pressed to his chest.

“Okay, okay..” you mumbled more to yourself than to him, taking his hands into yours and looking him up and down.

He really seemed.. disconnected. It was kind of scary and you tried so hard not to think about what happened. Or about who died.

“Here, come with me, Diego,” you led him by the hand towards your couch as he was holding onto you, but his usual grip was gone.

You both ended up on a sofa and you really didn’t know how to act around him now, because.. he didn’t talk, didn’t look at you but when he did, his eyes were wide and big and he just seemed suddenly like a small boy to you.

Hopefully he won’t remember this tomorrow, you thought and tried to smile a little bit at him.

“Okay. Can you get your hands up for me, baby boy?” You’ve decided to approach this situation as if you were just babysitting an overgrown child.

Because nothing bad happens to children normally, right? And if you kept thinking about him as usual grown man Diego, you’d lose your mind in the process, wanting to scream and shake him by the shoulders until he spills you what happened.

Being Diego’s friend pushed you to new limits each day, truly.

He didn’t bat an eyelid at your tone change and word choosing, just obliging and putting his hands up.

You helped him to get his knives down and put his black turtleneck over his head, so now he sat shirtless right next to you, hands still smeared with blood.

Goddamit the blood!

You took him by the elbows and lead Diego to the bathroom, where you helped to get the red out of his hands. At the sight of blood dripping down into the sink you deciphered a whimper from him, even through the sound of running water and looked up.

Diego couldn’t stop looking down at his hands and tears were running down his cheeks.

You quickly took his face into your wet hands from the water and forced him to look away and lock his gaze with yours.

“Hey, don’t look at it, okay? It’ll only make you stressed. Until I’m done you can just close you eyes, okay?”

“Oh-okay,” he said and just closed his eyes here and there.

You sighed and tried to finish washing his hands as fast as possible, cursing under your breath pretty often.

“I’m sorry..” you heard him mumble and when you looked up, his eyes were still shut.

“Nothin’ to be sorry about.. We’ll talk about this tomorrow, right? Don’t worry. You’re safe now,” you smiled as you were already wrapping his hands in a towel and his eyelashes fluttered, eyes opening.

You stayed looking at each other for a second longer than necessary, but then you already lead him away to the bedroom area, where you actually tucked him in, wrapping in a soft blanket and then rushed to the kitchen, grabbing a few cookies and then leaving it on a plate next to him on the night table. 

 You almost made yourself comfortable on the couch, when he suddenly called out your name from the bed.

You sprung to your feet, thinking he’s actually hurt but you didn’t notice or that- “Can you... stay with me? P-please?” he asked, disrupting your train of thought. You did expect this, but still felt really shy about that.

Diego is vulnerable right now and does need your help and presence though.

And there wouldn’t be anything you wouldn’t do for him.

“Sure,” and after this simple answer you carefully climbed in next to him covering you both with a blanket and he curled up closer to you, almost immediately falling asleep.

From one point of view it felt like you wouldn’t sleep at all tonight, but from the other one.. you actually fell asleep just as fast as he did.

.

.

To nobody’s surprise you woke up first and actually flinched at the sight of sleeping Diego inches from your own face.

Your mind went running with ideas what happened and what’s going on until you realised the real deal and your brain caught up to yesterday’s shenanigans.

It was a wild ride and you were thankful that now it’s - most probably - over.

Your eyes were subconsciously scanning his face, until you realised what you’re doing, but you didn’t stop even then.

You’ve never been this close to his face yet and now you could admire and explore every part of it.

Having feelings for a friend that’s laying in the same bed with you at the moment is really not the healthiest thing that could’ve happened to you, huh..

You actually froze and your heart started racing billion times faster when you realised that you have a weight of his arm around your waist, pulling you closer from his sleep.

He grunted and his nose was now in your hair, shuffling a little to get more comfortable.

You had no idea how to change positions, especially when being held by such a strong arm as his and you got a feeling like Diego might actually wake up just about now, so the best solution that came into your mind was to forcefully close your eyes shut and pretend that you’re still sleeping.

He did, indeed, wake up. You were suddenly pushed to the other side of the bed, arm disappearing from your waist and a waterfall of curses fell from his lips quietly.

You used up all your acting stamina to make a believable scene of you gaining your conscious from the deep slumber that you were obviously in, stretched your arms for a good effect and finally opened your eyes.

You immediately signed up for a staring contest as soon as you looked at him and smiled a little. His face remained unreadable but perhaps a little bit flustered?.. But you may be reading too much into it.

“Hi,” you said with a higher tone than intended and Diego just nodded at that.

You tried your luck by addressing the elephant in the room right away, you never liked ignoring the problems that were always looming over you, “care to tell me what happened yesterday?”

He drew a big sigh and rested his head back on the pillow, looking up at the ceiling.

You couldn’t stop looking at him. At first because you really wanted to know the mystery, but the longer you looked at him, the more you realised that you’re just admiring the beauty that he holds, until his words fell like a dead weight right onto your shoulders.

“I found Eudora’s body yesterday. I couldn’t get to the place in time and someone killed her.”

What?

It felt like what he said was simply a trick of your imagination. You liked Eudora yourself, she was a very intelligent and an interesting person, you two often hung out and that feeling didn’t cease even after you found out that she and Diego started dating.

And even when they broke up some months after, you still found your way to spend time with her. So did Diego.

You wanted to cry, but thought that it might be insensitive towards him, because he was much closer to her than you were, so you tried to swallow your forming tears down.

“I’m.. I’m so sorry, Diego..”

“It’s your loss too, I know it, y/n,” he looked at you with much softer look this time.

“Come here,” he said a little bit hesitantly and opened up one arm towards you.

This was unusual, but maybe last night’s events tore down some walls?.. Who knows.

You almost threw yourself into his embrace and once your forehead rested on his chest, you started crying.

From everything, honestly. There’s been problems at work, your seemingly unrequited feelings for Diego didn’t help much either and now you learned that you lost one of your friends.

He started rubbing circles on your back, just letting you get those emotions out, while you two were hugging each other on the bed in your apartment.

And as you slowly started to calm down, he said a gentle, “it’s gonna be okay. We’re gonna be okay”

[the-hotter-otter]

(4) Sweeter Love || ATEEZ Fanfic

Choi San x Gender-neutral OC

Idol AU

15:49 (4) ||  17:19 (5) || chapter list

15:49

The sun was crying through the curtains, begging to be let into the dorm, but you ignored it and instead brought San’s head down from your shoulder to your lap. Upon his request you two migrated into the living room and had taken over the couch, trashing any of the members belongings to make room for the thick blanket San opted to bring along. 

The chicken you had ordered was scraped clean, you wiped away the remnants of the sauce in the corner of San’s lips, bringing out a lazy smile. As he rested his eyes you silently took a photo of him to send to the other members, they’ve been messaging for updates on their sick brother.

Wooyoung 12:10

Is San awake yet? I heard you were with him today :D tell me when he’s awake!

Hongjoong 13:22

Haniiee how’s San? You didn't leave him alone did you?

Yeosang 13:54

Remember! Dont get horny!

Yunho 14:02

Hey Haneul, make sure San doesn’t trash our room. Ik i can trust you tho :]

Seonghwa 14:30

Hello, did you two want anything for dinner later? We’ll be back late but we can order you guys take out :)

You scoffed at some of the messages and sent replies and pictures of the resting baby on your lap, all except Yeosang because that little shit was basically asking for his ass to be left on seen. 

“Baby, cake?” San asked, apart from the occasional cracks and small coughing fits, his voice was almost back to normal. He stood up steadily, taking his time to stretch away the sleepiness that was left in his system. 

“Will you even eat it?” You asked with a a strained sigh, San gave you a soft stare before taking both your hands and pulling you up close to his chest. 

“If we make it together, yes.”

“It sounds like you’re expecting it to turn out good.” 

San shrugged as you both went hand in hand into the kitchen, “have a bit of faith, cake is easy.” 

You rolled your eyes at his comment, knowing very well that San has never baked in his life. 

You could already tell just how bad this was going to turn out when San came waddling with a bag of flour and a white trail of powder behind him. You weren’t looking forward to the inevitable mess.

“This is going to be a disaster.”

“No one said it wasn’t going to be.”

[kinoko-koe]

Story Overview and Basic Organization

Im not really getting around to typing down the larger posts of individual stories so im just placing down some basic information about the ones i have at the moment so i can come back and expand when i actually feel like it

-Stories are listed in the order i have created them not necessarily in chronological order nor are most of them directly related-

(usually when i say things like “over time” im skipping things)

Still cant remember what i called this one lol

The Ascension of the Demi-God of Chaotic Destruction

Using some generic tropes from isekai stories, a group of 5 college-aged friends (2 men 3 women) are suddenly transported to another world with baked in gaming elements that all its inhabitants are aware of. The summoned group have random skills assigned to them and the kingdom that summoned them wanted to find good skills from the summoning.

The main character of this story is one of the men who has been given skills that are more of a support-y mage type, the other man has skills well suited for being a warrior and is sent to the military and one the the women is given to the church to become a cleric, the other 3 including the MC are less valuable to the kingdom and are sent off to improve themselves with minor support from the throne. On his first adventure out with some novices he finds it difficult to relate to the people of this world and also loses his left arm when attacked by a maniac.

Over time the MC gains the class “Infinite Chaos” after being tempted by it as its a strange class not known or available to others. The class grants skills at random times and prevents further class changes among other things. This leads to the MC’s main combo of using the randomly acquired Oil Magic and exploding it from a distance with Fire Magic. The game like system in the world is setup by a deity masquerading as the Grand Deity of Order and this class’s availability, among other complexities, was added by the Ancient of Chaos without the deity’s awareness.

As the MC keeps coming back to the kingdom’s capital every now and then he finds his friends to be different then they used to be and over time become unrecognizable to him (except the one that just became a chef in the capital) although he is also changing to them from the influence of his class. As he feels the only people he can relate to changing he becoming increasingly alone and reckless in his combat while adventuring

While its hard to list all the small changes that happen over time from the class Infinite Chaos and all the non overarching plot events (as i dont want to keep on just this one story) everything reaches a climax when his friends are killed by the Demon King, a mountain-sized giant with absurd dexterity and and enormous sword. He sees this through Farsight rushes to the area, crushing all the monsters and demons in the way. The fight between the MC and the Demon lord triggers the Apocalypse skill they both have from their classes and the world descends into darkness and madness. The Goddess of Moonlight attempt to interrupt the fight but as the two are both almost Demi-Deities in strength together they dispatch her quickly causing the artifical moon she placed to fall towards the planet; and through the gamelike system giving exp from the kill and the Infinite Chaos class allows the MC to ascend into the Demi-God of Chaotic Destruction, a being made of eyes and oil (probably not like youre thinking) and through his Authority can destroy the skills the Demon King uses and wins the battle as the world ends from the moon crashing into the planet.

The Gods of the Sky

Uplifting a civilization to stall an invasion

A sci-fi story about an alien invasion and an alien scientist stalling for time for their federation to arrive with military support. The POV switches between a human female bureaucrat and the alien scientist. The humans are starting out their industrial era, their cities are built around giants that their “god” left on the planet. These giants are robots set to protect the planet from outside invaders. The story starts as the bureaucrat is leaving a city by train as alien ships descend from the sky and the city’s robot starts up as heavily damages the city as its launches itself into combat. Although the robot is able to defeat the scouting ships it is heavily damaged and stalls outside the city.

Later the bureaucrat reaches the city and gives a report on what happened, and the country leaders launch an investigation. The aliens send more ships and have their crew dismantle the worn-down giant robot, where the humans see the aliens for the first time, they are 6 limbed (2 legs 4 arms) creatures with obsidian-like exoskeletons and solid gold eyes. The church declares these aliens to be “demons” here to destroy the giants their “god” left behind.

POV swaps to the scientist who is in a observation ship in orbit, annoyed at the failure of their ship’s alarm system, sends an emergency message to their federation military for “protection of the innocent” from out of federation invaders. They descend their ship to the planet to help assist the humans from the invasion, where a giant robot attacks and is one-shot by their Matter-Annihilation-Cannon. The scientist is a starfish-esque creature that always wears a high-tech mech suit.

The government is obviously skeptical of the scientist at first and the scientist fight the first wave of the “demons” alone with only their ship and utility robots. The scientist finds the “demons” to learn weaknesses in equipment very fast and concludes that they are a hivemind. By using the Matter-Annihilation-Cannon aimed at their commanders the first wave is repelled, but the Cannon can only be fired 3 times before breaking down from its own mechanics and the ship is a science ship without much combat prowess. The goverment now trusting them a bit more the scientist starts using their engines along with advanced handheld weapons to make primitive fighter planes to fight with.

skimming over some stuff eventually a diplomatic spaceship from the federation arrives before the military reinforcements as they were nearby for a new planet colonization ceremony, where its revealed that the federation already has humans in it and the humans on this planet were abducted from Earth thousands of years ago. Along with the scientist’s species and humans there are three other alien species in the federation. A jellfish-esque species that communicates through bioluminescence and has a computer attached that translates for them, a slug-esque religious capitalist species that wears high-tech rugs on their backs as status symbols, and a sapient parasitic plant species that infested human livestock and intentionally bred them to be easier to control and move around in.

Even with this addition to their fighting force the “demons” have an absurd advantage in numbers and, over time, the humans on the planet are reduced to one last city and its giant robot when the federation arrives and completely annihilates the “demons” using terraforming technology to molecularly deconstruct the “demons” on the surface and use Matter-Annihilation-Cannons to destroy their ships. The starfish species that leads the federation dont even think twice as the entire species has a unified strong sense for justice as the planet was violently invaded the invaders are guilty and mercilessly destroyed.

(I swear theres a story im forgetting between these two)

Arisen Anew

Ambition-less Reincarnation and the Demon God Cult (aka everyone hates the Goddess of Resonance)

....Honestly this one went through so many changes and i dont actually like them all and i just kinda dont want to type it.

The basis of this story was a adventurer woman has her party wiped by a bunch of demonkin while on a guard mission and a unrelated mage to their party also took the guard quest and kills the adventurer and the demonkin by just nuking the whole area in fire and the mage has the Demi-Deity of Burning Resurrection (a phoenix) bound to them and the adventurer that is killed get reincarnated and eventually in the new life of the adventurer a cult is formed around the Demi-Deity of Congealing Biomass and they view the reincarnated MC as “the Betrayer” that is in their prophecy that betrays the religion set up by the Goddess of Resonance but... the story kinda got away from that premise, the cult is still around but they were manipulated by the Deity of Non-Physical Connections and i just idk im not that interesting in continuing typing about this one.

(this was typed before i typed to mini-summary) Honestly i think this story was better when i was building it without the ambition-less thing but it just kinda ended up that way when i was finding reasons for the MC to give in to the temptation of the Deity of Non-Physical Connections and the cult and after realizing that she really didnt have any ambitions for anything she was doing the whole time soooooo.......

Hero Killer

Ive just legitimately forgotten a lot about this one almost didnt put it here at all lol

This one is about a True Mimic, a being that can mimic anything (appearance not powers), who is given the Soul Shattering Spear by the God of Obscure Knowledge and uses the spear to kill the plethora of heroes summoned by the Goddess of Judgement to slay the Demon Lord. The True Mimic MC is in a romantic relationship with the Demon Lord so the slaying is more than just a loyalty thing.

The Demon Lord is a strange monster the closest thing is like a satyr with spiral staircase horns and three eyes. She wears a veil at all times and never talks as her speech has a strange power of a kind of soft mind control that makes monsters feel loyalty and makes humans feel disdain.

Honestly outside of the raid on the Demon Lord’s castle while the True Mimic is distracted killing a different hero there wasnt really a whole lot of events beyond that that were actually put in an actual order or were actually relevant to the overarching plot

Amongst Gods (in development)

The story follows a group of humans that like in a massive cave city under a mountain. Outside the cave is a world filled while powerful destructive creatures whose biology doesnt appear logical. A being made of floating mirrors that incinerates things prevents the humans from leaving their city farther than the forest they hunt lesser beings in. One day “The Sky Legs” pass by and destroy the mirror being after it attacked one of its legs. The group of humans go off past where the mirror being held them in.

Past this location they run into a steel being that looks like a horse that starts killing them and a humanoid dragon that helps the survivors and brings them to the dragon settlement. The humanoid dragons are humans that made a pact with the Demi-Goddess of Dragonic Multiplication thousands of years ago and became half dragon. Their settlement is protected by the Demi-Goddesses’s children.

that basically it so far and i probably wont develop beyond this lol

Heretic (in development)

A world where the deities directly interact with humans personally, a grand system of schools have been set up under individual deities to teach humans magic. Each deity tests humans if they are compatible with their teachings and add the worthy to their branch of their overarching school. There are four overarching schools; Arcane, Elemental, Nature, and Dimensional.

Major cities are set up to have several deities with as many “school branches” as possible to scout as many new members as possible. Even larger cities exist solely to help mages progress their magical studies in well regulated “school cities” with over 100 different deities each with hundreds of students.

The story begins with the MC, a magic uh... fan? that recently became an adult, coming to a school city to find a deity to learn from. However, she constantly fails the deities’ tests for compatibility for a week, after 10 days without finding a patron deity her city permit expires and is basically kicked out.

As she is getting a bit desperate, a small strange shadow beckons her and she follows, this continues until the shadow brings her to the back of a strange house and the shadow lets her in and leads her to the basement. Obviously she’s a bit suspicious but also a bit dumb, and opens the way to the basement after some effort to open a strange old door. Inside the basement is a Deity. A shadowy skeleton beast with meter long finger and toe bones and a dinosaur-esque skull with six eyes with wing bones and its back that are layered in shadows.

The deity before the MC explains that the shadow owe it a favor and brought someone compatible with it before it, and that it knows that the MC couldnt find a patron deity and offers its own test. A simple test; it vomits a black liquid into a cup and tells her to drink it. A seemingly gross test thats truly about the trust she will place in the deity. After immense hesitation she drink the liquid and passes out, along with passing the test. The deity and the shadow from earlier bring her back to the room shes rented for her stay in the city, and the deity hides in her shadow.

After the obvious confusion that would occur, the deity starts to teach the MC about shadow magic through the rather forceful method of possession (as she really isnt that cut out for normal magic lessons) The deity also heavily avoids direct questions about its exact powers and school classification.

This is about what ive got so far theres is some general events after this ive got but they arent really fleshed out yet, however the deity that the MC found is the Deity of Inevitable Demise, and its School is the Heresy school that the other deities intentionally suppress as its consists of magic only useful for harming or destroying, such as mind control, necromancy, and instant death.

Why can the Deity of Inevitable Demise control shadows you ask? well thats because it has influence over the end of everything. The end of life, light, movement, fate, space, and time. Although its ability to manipulate those attributes is depended on how close those ends are to the current location, but darkness, the end of light, is readily accessible in most scenarios.

-----

Thats all for this post this has been loitering as a draft for a few weeks and i didnt double read it so somethings might not make sense but oh well done and posted is better than nothing.

[fluidityandgiggles]

Dalton Big Bang day 1 - The Canadian Girlfriend Experience

Writing Masterpost, AO3 Link

Notes: So... y’all. Dalton fam. Hear me out.

I understand that y'all are gonna be mad at me for staying up until (four? five?) five in the morning to post this, but I'm something like 90% sure I'd forget to post it in the morning (afternoon), and I have to write tomorrow's fic anyway, so... here's an extra early fluffy mess. Hope y'all like it.

I had to write this one... I really really had to. Han's girlfriend is a big deal to me. I hope you understand it.

(And for the uninitiated in pathfinder - the rank system is wild, feats are taken every two levels or so, Logan’s character is basically invincible, defeated only by Dwight’s monk and the absolute insanity that creating a monk in pathfinder can end up being.)

—————

"I really have to go to sleep," the familiar (by now) high-pitched voice said through the headphones, stifling a yawn. "My drama class is moving props to the auditorium tomorrow for our exam and my mom would be mad at me if I don’t go to sleep in the next thirty minutes."

"So go to sleep, Lils. I won’t be mad at you."

"Okay! I’ll text you in the morning! Love you, bye!"

"Good night."

Han finally let himself snort a bit after his girlfriend hung up, watching as she disconnects from the game a few moments later. He did say he’ll only play Starcraft today so long as Leah is available, and now that she’s offline…

He just closed the game and went back to working on his Pathfinder session prep.

Han met Leah at the San Diego Comic-Con last summer. On day one, she approached him because she thought the Westwoods’ Bat family cosplay was really cool. On day two, he approached her because her Arwen cosplay was flawless. By day three they’d already ditched the con to have a not-date lunch at In-N-Out, found out they’re in the same guild in World of Warcraft, Han found out Leah has a voice acting channel on youtube, they exchanged phone numbers, and by day four they may have not spent the whole day together but they certainly went on a date-date at the end of the day.

They’ve been rather inseparable for the following three weeks, but by then Han had to face the reality of it all. Leah’s phone number was weird to him from the start, sure, and he was willing to pass off her accent as a speech quirk, but it wasn’t until those three weeks ended that it finally sunk in that she’s not American. And like most good things, her visit too has to come to an end.

Maintaining a relationship online just… didn’t feel the same.

1 Unread Message

‘Merril: Can I suggest an idea for Mishka’s character arc?? You can say no, I just had an idea is all!’

Caterpillar: I’m all ears

———

"While this mess of a… bargain is happening," Logan called as Merril and Reed tried to catch their breaths from laughing. "Can Dwight and I get to the diplomatic debate?"

"Sure," Han sighed, watching his party quickly derail the session. "But let’s take a break first."

The first to disappear at the sound of "let’s take a break" was Lucy, who ran to the bathroom, accidentally knocking off Logan’s dice tower in the process. Merril got the brownies out and on the table, everyone pulled their phones out…

Han could take a couple moments to look at the pictures Leah sent him earlier. According to her, they were not yet done with lighting cues, and she was going crazy, but seeing her in her period piece of a costume and leg brace prop made him feel excited for her, somewhat.

Caterpillar: wish I could been there to see it 

Jabba the Hutt: Oh no! Don’t say that! Jabba the Hutt: I’ll send you the filmed version when I get it, but it’ll probably be really bad anyway.

Caterpillar: im sure it cant be that bad 

Jabba the Hutt: Han, it’s a high school production of the Glass Menagerie. Jabba the Hutt: My class is also doing the play version of Spring Awakening. Jabba the Hutt: It *can* and *will* be that bad. Jabba the Hutt: Trust me. 

"Han?" Merril called before he could answer that one. "Hansel, are you listening?"

"No, I wasn’t. What was it?" He grabbed a brownie, leaving his phone aside for a second.

"Wizards of the Coast announced a new edition of D&D," she said again, smiling gently. "Do you think you’d want to try it?"

"I’m already one step ahead of you there. I’m going to playtest it when it— excuse me…"

Jabba the Hutt: WE FINALLY FUCKING FINISHED THIS Jabba the Hutt: I’ve never been happier to say I’m getting offstage, I need someone to punch me!

Caterpillar: dont you mean pinch?

Jabba the Hutt: I meant what I said and I said what I meant.

Han tuned back in time to hear Logan say "I just really don’t want to have to mess with the power system again", which resulted in Dwight throwing a bag of chips at his head.

"Fourth edition has a very special place in my heart, Wright. Don’t talk shit about it around me."

"Yeah, why all the hate for the power system?" Lucy frowned (when did she get back from the bathroom?). "It’s not all that different to how feats work. Would you complain about getting a new feat every odd level once we switch systems?"

"Not going to happen, Lucy."

"Aw man, but I wanted to play Vampire the Masquerade next!"

"And we already said Merril is going to run it," Han reminded her, checking his phone one last time. "But we’re not switching our current game to another system. Not gonna happen."

There was a quiet "hell yeah" from Merril as Han’s phone buzzed with a new message, but before he could even read it, it was snatched by Lucy.

"Wha… who are you talking to, Han?" She laughed a bit, scrolling up, and then her eyes went wide open. "Well… damn."

"Don’t act like you’re surprised, that’s my girlfriend. You met her before."

The silence in the room was so tense, Han swore he could hear a pin drop. 

"...a girlfriend?" Dwight was the first to ask, raising a brow. "Since when?"

"You know, I honestly thought she would’ve forgotten all about you after two weeks…"

"Since a few months ago," Han told Dwight, taking his phone back. "Can we continue, please?"

"No! It’s interesting!" Merril joined in, resting her chin on her hand as she got closer, pushing some papers a bit. "How did you meet? Where is she from? Can we meet her?"

"We met at Comic-Con and no, you can’t meet her. She’s… not from here."

"...is she Canadian?" Logan raised a brow too, starting to laugh.

"Noooooooo…?"

"Oh yeah, Han’s Canadian girlfriend."

"She’s not— let’s start to fucking play, this session isn’t going to end itself."

By the end of the session, Han couldn’t say he’d be surprised if the whole school found out by tomorrow. And if anyone (namely the twins) made fun of him for his "Canadian girlfriend"... so be it. 

———

"Is this Canadian girlfriend of yours coming to prom?" Julian’s tired voice came through the phone, sounding like he was about to pass out. He just arrived at school earlier today, already tired from the flight, and immediately got coddled by Logan.

"She’s not Canadian, Julian. You’re the twenty-fifth person I’ve told this already."

"So where is she from? Would you please tell just one person?"

With a quick glance at the security footage, to make sure Logan wasn’t listening, Han whispered "her name is Leah, I met her at Comic-Con in San Diego last year, she’s from Israel and no, I doubt she can come to prom. She has her own prom to attend."

"...okay, so this Israeli girlfriend of yours. Got it."

"Thank you."

"Are you sure you want to keep her a secret…?" He clicked his tongue. His laugh sounded a bit rougher than usual. "You know how things can end up. You of all people."

"I… I’m just not sure I’m ready for… dude. Is Logan drooling on your shoulder…?"

"Give him a break, Westwood. He’s adjusting to his new pills."

"I asked about the drooling."

"He does that sometimes. I just let him be."

"...why is everyone so interested in my girlfriend? Is it really any different from David and Katherine?"

"I don’t know how to break it down to you, Westwood, but you’re not exactly the type anyone would expect to even have a girlfriend."

A shift in the camera footage made Han cuss silently, covering his microphone.

"...she said she’ll be here for graduation. Hers is in late June, but she finishes school in May."

"Yeah. May. When prom is."

"Do you want to talk to her yourself?" He could hear Julian snort. "I’m not kidding. I’ll give you Leah’s phone number and you’ll convince her yourself. I can’t."

"Because that totally won’t be crazy."

"Julian."

"Hansel."

"Just fucking ask her, you absolute nerd!"

"Can you stop ordering me around? This isn’t Hollywood. This is my girlfriend we’re talking about."

"Can you at least send me a picture of her? So I’ll know she’s real?"

"...fuck you, Larson."

Han sent him a picture anyway. A picture of the two of them that Lucy insisted to take while they were in San Diego. They coordinated somehow, Han with his LOTR shirt and Leah with her whole Arwen cosplay. It was the happiest day he could possibly remember.

And then, a snort through the phone.

"...so you’re Leah Appelbaum’s mysterious Maryland boyfriend? Huh. Didn’t know you lived in Maryland."

"...you know Leah?"

"We had auditions in the same building two years ago and she approached me because she’s a fan of Something Damaged. She insisted on keeping in touch. How did you meet her?"

"At Comic-Con… please be gentle about this, Julian."

"Okay! I just… wow. I know where you live now. Sweet."

"Don’t you dare try to blackmail me with that information, Larson."

"I won’t. There’s nothing to worry about."

———

"...you know what?" Han sighed as the last session before prom was about to close off. "Roll sense motive."

The clatter of dice hitting each other and everyone cussing filled the room, quickly picking up their dice and looking.

"Fifteen!"

"Seventeen!"

"Five!"

"How’s you get a five, Lucy?"

"I’m a barbarian, what do you think—"

"Thirty-four."

Dwight practically glared at Logan. "What the fuck, dude?"

"I play a half-elf cleric, Dwight," Logan answered, straight-faced. "Plus two to wisdom straight away, rolled extremely well, I have a plus five modifier to wisdom and the alertness feat. I took a single rank in sense motive every time we leveled up and now I have ten ranks. On the tenth rank in sense motive or perception, you get a bonus four to the skill instead of the usual two. Thus, ten plus four plus five equals nineteen, plus the fifteen that I rolled. That’s thirty-four. Do I sense motive?"

"...everyone who rolled above a fifteen, and that definitely includes Flint—" Han could see Logan smiling smugly. "Everyone who rolled above a fifteen can see that this woman is telling the truth. Anyone who rolled a twenty or above, Flint, can also sense that—"

There was a knock at the door. There was never a knock at the door. But now there was. And as Reed got up to open the door, Han silently hoped it wouldn’t be anyone who shouldn’t be there—

"And this is your boyfriend’s room," Julian’s voice came through as Reed’s jaw dropped. "Thank you for picking Julian Larson to be your tour guide, we hope you enjoyed the trip."

"Very! Oh, hello!" The girl at the door waved at Reed, who waved back. The whole party waved back. "Am I interrupting anything?"

"No, those nerds are just playing dungeons and dragons. You have nothing to worry about." Reed finally returned to his seat as Julian kissed the girl’s cheek, chuckling at the shock. "Logan, I’ll be expecting you to pick me up at six. I want my pre-prom sushi."

"I promised you I will, Princess, don’t panic."

"Okay, just making sure."

As Julian left, the girl went to sit on Han’s futon and look at everyone. Long brown hair, half of it bleached; dark eyes behind a pair of green plastic-framed glasses; a bit on the heavier side, like Han himself, and wearing a floral summer dress and a pair of short leggings. Her face was flushed red, her lipstick a dark blue, and her nails painted black that just started to chip.

Han missed her so much.

"So… hi." She waved around again, a bit confused. "What’s up…?"

"Who’s this?" Dwight was the first to speak.

"My girlfriend," Han replied, sounding rather insistent. "We were just about to finish our session, Lils. Can you wait?"

"Mmhm! Absolutely! I’ll be so quiet, you’ll forget I’m even here!"

Nobody forgot she was there. Merril kept looking over to her, Reed and Dwight seemed skeptical as ever, and the only person who was normal about it was Lucy. But it wasn’t news for Lucy, she’s met Leah before after all. All the while Leah sat there, chuckling at the game and waiting patiently for Han to finish, which he did twenty minutes later. Dwight practically ran out, followed by Logan who needed to pick his own boyfriend up for dinner, but…

"So where are you from in Canada?" Merril asked first, making Leah smile. 

"I’m… not Canadian. Did Han tell you I’m Canadian?"

"Where’s your lipstick from?" Reed asked next.

"Umm… it’s, it’s from NARS, I picked it up on the way here, I forgot to pack my own makeup and—"

"Is Han taking you to prom?"

Han choked on his water at that. "I can’t leave my room for prom, Merril. Health risks."

"You can have an indoors prom."

"We planned on watching Battlestar Galactica and ordering takeout," Leah admitted. "But… an indoors prom would be nice. I’m not going to mine anyway. My class is writing this… really offensive skit about one of the math teachers and I don’t want to be a part of it."

"What’s your prom even like…?" Reed squinted, sitting back down. "That you do skits."

"It’s… not really a prom. Israel doesn’t really have the promenade culture, it’s just like a showcase the whole class does for family and friends before graduation… I’ve never liked this practice, you know, I think it’s just…"

As Leah rambled on, Han took his time to clear the table and silently hope Merril and Reed leave soon. Those two have prom dates after all. And neither are a Canadian girlfriend.

[whatifsandspheres]

Omfg, hahaha. So the guy I thought (now I'm a bit more inclined to believe it was him) was behind the minerals missing? Deleted the message I put in the corp discord asking about the minerals! Hahaha. Then he messages me privately the following:

"last time I looked there was 22mil trit now there is 26. I made a talwar assault for myself but that of course is no where near 10 mil worth... THE GAME NEEDS AN AUTO AUDIT FEATURE! ugh. At any rate, I haven't noticed a dip like you have but you keep a better eye on it then I do. I will ask the guys and gal.

at any rate, i deleted that message out of general as others dont need to see it. We can always keep a running tally of minerals at the end of the day as well. I am making the V3's and the retriever tonight fyi"

Uh.

Hahaha. Wow.

He could have just left the message up, it does more for his command over the crowd if I'm wrong and that message is still up. He also mentioned a number of the least expensive mineral as indicator, instead of the one that I used as the measure to set an alert, one that sells for 1.3k ISK, the Trit is worth 1 ISK. Huh. Bit of a difference. I have over 10mil Trit in my private hangar right now that's intended for the corp, save for that I'm mining at a different system than the HQ office. It's much easier to come by and harvest. I should know, it's the most boring role in the game market maybe except for having to be courier or shipping something.

I changed the director permissions, too. All directors, which apparently he gave all the same permissions to as myself, now don't have permission to edit corp info, recruit, or tamper with alliance and diplomacy settings.

I thought something like this wouldn't happen, but that if it would, it would take longer to show up, and that it would be less blatant. I also knew that if I didn't leave such an open and loose structure I wouldn't see the things I've seen like hangar permissions basically cutting out all regular, entry level members of hangar use except for depositing into one. Last I checked the permissions, he had changed it so that no other positions in the corporation have any administrative permissions except for the directors? How is that going to make division of labor any easier? When I first got CEO position, I set the permissions on hangar and the different roles how I thought would function smoothest, just mentioning that there was the freedom to change them if they should so choose. And they did choose, without seeing the logic behind why I had arranged then that way and not left them how the previous and founding CEO had programmed them.

Nope, my guy, I mentioned that this was not an audit because the game is built on similar wiggle room and uncertainty. I gave plenty of slack and trust. I gave a figure roughly about what my typical work ship costs without fittings and how much it pays for itself in a few days or so, just in ISK if I were to sell the minerals alone.

Funny when the CEO is doing more of the tedious "labor" than the fun stuff.

When I first got the role, I started mining to pay off the 170something million debt left on the wallet that I got dropped on my lap. I started dropping business cards in the systems I picked in Solitude region. I had moved there almost as soon as I started the game, before applying to that/this corp. I liked the area due to the low security ratings that indicated there were special ores and the closest I could get to quality stuff without having to give into the requirements for mining in null (negative) security space. Less crowded, too.

The guy responded to one of those business cards and shortly had a suggestion that I donate the minerals for him to manufacture three haulers that should be enough to pay the debt easily. I did almost all of that mining by myself, only losing a couple of ships at the last part of it. It worked, apparently, the debt was paid. I stopped selling minerals and started stocking up a corporate hangar in the office HQ I let the guy pick, and we began manufacturing a few other things. Nothing huge.

Then I did most, read as basically all, of the mining to build mining barges for almost everyone. I think that's about 7 now, worth at least 85mil without fittings. There were still minerals in the stocks when I took 12mil out of the wallet to pay for some skill training. I told everyone I would be taking about a week off and return when I had reached the tech level to be able to fly one of the barges I had basically earned several times over. Get this part.

I get back, and see that they've basically only used the ships to build one ship that one of the combat pilots requested and paid ISK for, 180mil. Other than that? I get back to see that there isn't not only no mining barge for their one consistent miner character, but not even enough minerals to build one! Hahaha. So I get to mining and I store it away from the offices, I soon have enough to build three more of these ships that I had already practically built my first three before taking a week off the game. I wait a few days, as I now have passed the point when I told them that I would be the appropriate tech level to be able to fly one.

Crickets chirp.

Clueless? Nope. They oh-so-casually ask me if I already have one, and then they TELL me to go mine in a different system at the edge of a neighboring region to where I first started and got a bit of an advantage from.

So when I do tell them to build me a ship, I make a point and highlight how I now have mined enough for not only one more ship, but four with what was in the stores. In the time I was gone, they could have built a whole fleet of mining ships. Didn't.

Ah, there's more of these things.

Now they have a queue of ships to build? Ahaha. Industrial ships, their only source of the minerals which, if not bought with ISK, have to be slowly collected by the players-- not on the list. I check with the guy about his skill training in manufacture, and I tell him to start training greater efficiency in industrial ships. He complains... What? Are you seriously not seeing the lack of foresight? The future of his higher tier combat ships depends on the industrial ships.

I'm about to log on now, just to check the numbers and maybe mine a haul in the barge instead of the smaller ship.

Fun, these human things.

[slcters]

 「 avan jogia. cismale. he/him. 」i hope that #lexsquad member「 SLATER MALIH SAVALIA 」adds me to the squad ! the 「 TWENTY THREE 」year old 「 LAW 」 major has been apart of the squad since 「 OCTOBER 2018」and seems to be the 「 DELPHIC 」of the group.「 SLATER」is a「 SENIOR」 and seems to enjoy 「 WRITING & PLAYING MUSIC 」but you can always find them at a squad party , too !

TW:  CHEATING, ABANDONMENT, PORN MENTION, DEATH, DRUGS

Anyways lemme give you some info about my man and try to keep it as short ( I lied ) as possible I’ll have some wanted connections at the end so hit me up to plot cause I live for that :) 

NAME: SLATER MALIH SAVALIA AGE: 23 MAJOR: PRE- LAW SENIOR @ LEX POSITION: A DADDY HOBBIES: givin 0 Fucks, living life to the full, writing, being an PI on his dad, spiting his family n causing problems as a FUCK U. BORN: LONDON, ENGLAND. SEXUALITY: A truE WILD BISEXUAL :”)

BACKGROUND: 

So Slater was born in London, England however when he was younger he moved around a lot with his parents until they settled in LA. Mainly for his dads business and his mum had previously lived there too.

His mum was a travel writer which explains why they traveled a lot, his father runs a few escort agencies + brothels ( nevada only we do it legal here )  and also started up his own pornographic production company / film studio in LA. it would probably now be one of the biggest in the world.  ( think vivid entertainment meets brazzers ) u know FILTHY RICH SHIT.

Both his parents were obviously away quite a lot, his dad ran so many businesses and hmm was hands-on lets say but the household was pretty calm when he was fairly young. his mum was super attentive and loving and just such an amazing role model and always wanted to take him with her to show him the world when she had to leave. i think he definitely was a mummas boy.

at about 8/9 however would’ve been when things kind of came crashing down for him. he really caught his dad cheating on his mum w/ one of the porn stars he hired from the studio. His dad would’ve really asked him NOT to tell him mum because it would break their family up. obviously, slater was like terrified of the chance of losing his family so he just pretended nothing ever happened.

he was so conflicted because he was keeping this huge secret and he had so much guilt but he didn’t wanna be the one to ruin things. Like his dad basically used him as a cover like expecting him to lie for him for a long time. it would’ve really eaten away at him. like it would’ve not been a one-time thing, but slater was in denial for sure.

i think one day slater would’ve slipped up in one of his lies for his dad and his mum ended up fighting out what happened and it was such a mess. it would've led to their divorce and god that was.. SOO messy. they defs didnt have a prenup and like the custody.

I think lowkey he was miserable being with his dad, he had so much resentment and sadness there. he would’ve been okay being with his mum the whole time.

His dad was really the type of parent that would use his kids against each his ex wife like they would use slater to pass on messages and being like no u can’t have him for that day etc etc And not taken slater into consideration.

his dad though really tried his absolute best to bring his mum down which was sooo sad to see, like watching her get put through the ringer by his dad and she just became a bit of a shell of who she was, because he obviously had more than enough money to do it and didn’t want her to see a dime of it even tho he.. RLLY BE LIVING THE HIGH LIFE.

slater would’ve just been back and forth between them both up until he was about 15 when his mum, unfortunately, passed away due to drugs. which was SO UNEXPECTED.  i think there was definitely a lot more to it, like she definitely was self-medicating to help go through the still pending divorce. which would’ve lasted years. 

anyways losing his mum devastated slater because truly she was like a best friend to him, she was. he always enjoyed the weeks at his mums more than his dad and now he knew he’d be stuck there.

he fights a lot with his dad still about everything that happened and what he did, he blames him for it and putting a LITERAL KID in the middle.

anyways though since the separation his dad had like a myriad of “ girlfriends” around who were probably all young enough to be like a step sibling tbh. he never took to any of them until his stepmom. who shockingly he actually really likes. shes one thing keeping his family together atm.

 Anyways as you can imagine slaters dads business was huge and his dad is truly raking in the money but slater has always felt uncomfortable spending or even benefiting off it which is why he’s extremely secretive considering he knows where it comes from and he doesn’t exactly support his dad let alone he doesn’t want to have to explain that to people and get them looking into his family.

his father has really tried and put up this front though as if he’s a huge family man now and is conservative and super religious and smh that pissed off slater to the max. he’s like that dont make no fucking sense..

 when he high school hit though they were going to country clubs all that shit slater hated basically. he truly didn’t mind acting out just to spite his dad knowing hey your a family man what are you gonna do about it??

this drove his dad so crazy and only meant more rules were put on him, it was about the only attention his dad gave him.

when hey fight though its really wild, you know slater throws it in his dads face basically just some fucking pimp and exploits people and he’s never gonna do that and he’d rather have nothing than follow in his footsteps

i think his dad has been fined multiple times for some shady shit going on in his businesses. plus its been common knowledge in the depths of the industry they heavily provide them w/ alcohol drugs etc. probably has had an issue with the treatment of the people hes hired. lawsuits.  there's more under the surface that even slater doesnt know.

there would’ve been a bit of a scandal where his dad employed one of his dumbass country club friends daughters aka someone even slater knew to star in one of his adult films

 but regardless like he knew he really was fortunate he lived an extremely privileged life, like he would be set for life, could sit do nothing and its good. he just never had a huge interest in it unlike his father who really always said that he would take over everything someday and it would turn into a huge family business. and he was like yikes someone come tell him.. no thanks. 

 His dad and him definitely had a rocky relationship after his moms death, he  didn’t parent very much and just left his stepmom in so many uncomfortable situations but honestly

 He saw her more as a friend though then a mum but she was the best parental figure he’s ever even had. She’d genuinely try so hard to make sure his dad was acting like one like telling him he’s going to his sons gigs or else even though slater knew his dad would come for 2 seconds to appease his wife then leave.

But growing up he’s always been super careful of who’s around him and who he lets into his life probably as a result of how secretive his family has always instilled in him to be.

 Like his dad keeps saying we’re family we come first, and he never wanted slater to be sharing that with people about what they did.

 But he has such a resentment to his dad, like he thinks he’s a mess he has a wife he doesn’t give a fuck about a son he doesn’t see, he does god knows what he just is so convinced he can’t turn out like him ever. 

I think people genuinely think he must not come from money because the amount of people who have ever met his parents or seen his house is a handful if that. 

Like he’s always hanging out at other people’s places and just he’s never been really extravagant unless its to purposely spite his dad yikes. that comes from anger.

Like he really got himself a job even though his dad said he could come work for him just cause he was like yeah I don’t want to run ur dumb company and make money off it u pos? 

His dad has definitely been investigated a few times for shady practices. slater definitely started looking into law for that reason, like he genuinely thought he wants to actually be able to put guys who screw the system and own huge corporations and think they can pay outta anything in jail.

meanwhile his dad thought great a lawyer who can defend our family business smh so he supports him He has no clue slater would rather take him down.

hes on the dl investigating his dad himself. who wanna help.

PERSONALITY

losing his mom AND one his best friends showed him that he needs to really do everything he wants to and in that moment which does make him selfish at times 

i think he has abandonment issues, i think like when  his best friend who was kinda the reason he came to lex, happened to pass away also triggered that again ( TBD WHY im leaving this open for plots ) and that really shook him all over.

he really almost feels cursed at this stage.

he was pretty sheltered tbh because his dad wasn’t trusting AT ALL and at first was homeschooled until High school so he didn’t exactly grow up outgoing or being able to have many people at his place or tell them about his life.

i think theres not many people who know he’s related to his dad business, even tho his dad business iS HUGE and legit is his last name. and hes like yeah ha coincidence right??? not my dad at all.

He’s super fucking blunt though like he may be secretive with his personal life but his ass does not hold back which has gotten him into way too many problems. 

He just feels like he grew up lying about so much, his dad was like we don't want people taking advantage of you if they find out who you are and use things against me.

 he hated that and all the secrets about his dad he kept so don’t expect him to hold back on feelings or thoughts back at all 

LOVES to spite and piss his dad off even if that means 30+ students at his dads place during a business meeting lets do it.

He acts a lot without thinking like he sucks at planning anything and a lot of time he seems a little flighty and that he doesn’t take things serious enough esp his relationships

.He’d really go above and beyond though for anyone who’s proven to him that they can be trusted like he’s been known to be all in he either gives it everything or nothing so he goes extravagant

will try everything once.

wild child tm.

 his ass was kinda like living it up. he’s like on the brink of i dont want to just use my dads money but he’s like if i am though i wanna use it to actually do something decent, like get a law degree and be something, travel like his mum did. hes obsessed with the thought of like following in her footsteps BUT HE. NEVER ADMITS IT.

feelings who are u?

 He’s definitely a realist and a little bit cynical too, like he’s seen way too much shit to really have some ideal look on life. 

He doesn’t believe in some fairytale or things just happen for a reason or really in fate or anything like that. 

Like he doesn’t think love fixes everything and someone can be your happiness at all . hes like clearly its only problems so.

He’s only ever really had one serious relationship and a bunch of other casual things but that was just nothing to him

 He’s not closed off to them but he picks and chooses what he gives, but he’s just doubtful how someone’s gonna mix well into his life 

He definitely seems aloof and a bit cold but I mean after a drink and 5 minutes he’ll be picking your brain on just about anything 

loves writing in general, usually lyrics and music though.

secretly Loves a good midnight dnm overlooking the water with a trusted friend

 Awesome at getting himself out of situations he can be pretty convincing lbr

lowkey has abandonment issues. 

connections: donnt say im trash i know.

extra drama - his STEP sibling. aka child of his step mom. 

his best friends sibling, aka the one who passed away :”(

someone whose mum dated his dad WILD.

A TABOO FLING OR CRUSH, basically he got with someone he shouldn’t of, we can decide reasons HOWEVER I’D LOVE if the other chara was the ex of his friend who passed away. HED FEEL LIKE SHIT for having feelings. the angst. and the we cant do this its wrong.

I mean... someone who actually WORKS FOR HIS DAD. i would die, could be an escort, a sex worker, someone who is signed to his dads production company, can be a pornstar or more like a cam star too.

someone who is a huge tease and rlly makes his ass beg to be with them. make him work for it honey.

ooo a really GOOOOD friend and they’ve always been “ platonic” but theres this weird sexual tension and they both know it, but like ooo it could risk the frienndship n makee it weird and like ugh.

like someone whose parents hates them hanging around w/ slater bc of his family, maybe bc they ran in the same circles from back home but they just.. cant stay away from each other.

someone hes kinda dated but they realised we’d be better off as friends even tho weve seenn each other naked, it was fun.

One of the people from back home that found out all about his entire family when the scandal was exposed. They could’ve been friends or enemies.

AN ex!! pls he defs has broken some hearts or THE ONE WHO BROKE HIS :) IF U DO THIS U WILL GET SO MUCH LOVE

An enemy Maybe someone against his family or someone he just can’t stand!

THE damn girl his fucking dad tried to employ to be in his damn movie! My ass would do wild shit for this one wild WILD SHIT.

unrequited love, someone's heart he broke without even realising it

A confidant someone he can really confide in tell-all his dumbass shit too, like his protective ass would really care for this person

Someone who’s into music as much as him pLS!! like someone who can just jam with him late nights

He needs that dnm kinda friend 😂

A fwb that’s self explanatory:)

RIDE OR DIES etc

CHILDHOOD FRIENDS.

ANYTHING IM SOOO OPEN FOR PLOTTING

[somnilogical]

case study of optimization style: how kelsey piper optimizes to destroy coordination against injustice

her false face of "worrying about disrespecting jay", was the closest thing she could grab that she thought would get others to optimize for my silence. get local warm bodies to pile upon me for continuing to talk about how to get justice and give more information about different sources of injustice in a way compatible with people who have not completely disabled their general intelligence.

she was worried about her reputation and transfems gaining information that would allow them to coordinate along lines of shared oppression (which would start to erode miri/cfar which she wants to survive in order to have a nice (for her) environment to raise her babies), but thats not a socially defensible reason to object so she laundered it through being “worried about disrespecting jay”

11/12/2019

[14:10] Jay (System of Edo): Sarah Spikes has offered to have REACH do an investigation. I do not know this human, and have barely heard of REACH, but my understanding is that it's some sort of sub-organization that CFAR spawned, roughly. My instinct is to be like, "I believe you will talk to everyone and then conclude that basically no action needs to be taken, so in that case allowing you to do an investigation gives an air of legitimacy to dismissing Jay". Is "REACH is basically CFAR's pet" correct?

[14:10] acertain: afaik reach is unrelated to cfar

[14:11] acertain: and the space is controlled by Sarah Spikes and Nat

[14:11] ratsby: that's also my understanding

[14:11] Jay (System of Edo): I did not mean literally, I meant like in practice, are they complicit, etc

[14:11] Jay (System of Edo): like with CFARs bullshit in general

[14:11] ratsby: weren't REACH the ones who did the Brent investigation?

[14:12] silver-and-ivory: they did something about brent but weren't able to publish the stuff they got bc they believed he would sue them for defamation

[14:12] Jay (System of Edo): Oh wow. Cowards lol

[14:12] Jay (System of Edo): yeah that's pretty much all I need to know.

[14:12] Jay (System of Edo): thanks

[14:13] silver-and-ivory: :( I don't think they're cowards for that

[14:13] silver-and-ivory: but you have all the information i have so w/e

[14:14] acertain: I think reach doing an investigation would mean the reach panel (https://www.berkeleyreach.org/reach-panel), which afaik is a separate set of people from those who decide how the space is run

[14:18] acertain: idk if the list of people on the panel on the website is up to date though

[14:19] stardust: List is up to date

[14:19] stardust: Full Brent statement is available upon request, not fully public because legal risk

[14:20] silver-and-ivory: https://theunitofcaring.tumblr.com/post/182885399661/abuse-allegations-anon-here-i-am-happy-to-hear

[14:20] silver-and-ivory:REACH consulted an attorney about making the result of the Brent investigations public and were told that there was absolutely no way to do this without making each of the investigators individually liable in a defamation lawsuit. I’m also worried they could be sued to reveal the names of people who spoke to them anonymously in the course of the investigation.

[14:21] stardust: We were planning to get liability insurance when we get our legal non profit status but that has not panned out yet

[14:21] stardust: IRS is slow and hard to navigate

[14:22] Jay (System of Edo): okay, this is enough info on REACH, thanks.

[14:24] Jay (System of Edo): just told her not to investigate.

[14:24] ratsby: wait why?

[14:24] stardust: (She is me)

[14:25] Jay (System of Edo): oh.

[14:25] ratsby: I don't see how them investigating could hurt anything

[14:25] Jay (System of Edo):wait why?I don't believe they'll do anything tbh

[14:25] stardust: I will refrain from posting here if you prefer

[14:26] ratsby: seems like some chance of upside, no chance of downside?

[14:26] Jay (System of Edo):>I don't see how them investigating could hurt anything

My instinct is to be like, "I believe you will talk to everyone and then conclude that basically no action needs to be taken, so in that case allowing you to do an investigation gives an air of legitimacy to dismissing Jay". Is "REACH is basically CFAR's pet" correct?

[14:26] Jay (System of Edo):>I will refrain from posting here if you prefer

Yes, thanks.

[14:43] hamnox: The characterization of REACH panel as CFAR's pet feels bizarre. Iirc it got started in no small part because a bunch of locals were pissed off at how CFAR failed to do anything about, and implicitly legitimized, Brent.

[14:58] 𒀭 💮: i dont really know Jay, but i do know that the REACH panel is unjust and about as helpful and necessary as christian missionaries were to native americans. im not reporting my thing to it.linta is on it who made false accusations of emma being indistinguishable from a rapist and somni doing some sort of sex party at their house for social ends of suppression of unrelated dissent. and was generally antitrans in the standard way of saying people are crazy and incoherent, like how people are saying Ziz is schizophrenic when she obviously isnt. i think much of it are populated by lintas friends like mike alicorn and anisha. sarah c, one of the few cis people i trust at this point, had an emotional breakdown about it citing that they dont care about the Law and i think resigned. given the sort of place it is, i bet that none of the REACH panel members are transfem, people can correct me if im wrong.

im kinda for transfems coordinating with each other to the extent they can against people like brent dill, alice monday, lintamande, anna salamon and other agents of injustice. with better game theory than the likes of the REACH panel who flinch at "defamation".

[15:11] SeriesOfSymbols: Umm

Tbh I'm very uncomfortable with the idea that all these people are in the same reference class

[15:11] 𒀭 💮: they are in the reference class of perpetuating injustics

[15:11] lintamande: sort of assuming it would be unhelpful to Jay to litigate disagreements from elsewhere here. I don't know anisha. I don't think ziz is schizophrenic. I never said somni participated in the uninvited surprise orgy in my house, just that I was mad at the people who did. I don't think the REACH panel is good for anything except getting offenders banned from REACH in particular rn, and I think we should maybe check in with Jay about whether the rest of this is helping

[15:11] SeriesOfSymbols: As are

you

And  I

And ziz

Etc

[15:11] SeriesOfSymbols: Nobody is free from sin

[15:12] 𒀭 💮: ^ fallacy of grey

[15:12] 𒀭 💮: like also

[15:12] 𒀭 💮: there is a type difference

[15:12] 𒀭 💮: you socially but not legally implied to avoid culpability

[15:12] lintamande: guys does Jay want to host this conversation

[15:12] 𒀭 💮: the party things i could grep it

[15:13] lintamande: this is the server for helping Jay figure out what we can do to help

[15:13] TowerNumberNine: Jay appears to be idle at present

[15:13] TowerNumberNine: But previously they said there was enough info on REACH

[15:15] deluks917: Agree with Tower the Reach thing should get dropped

[15:15] 𒀭 💮: your "help" is poisoned in the same way that christian missionaries are and you are attempting to funnel peoples sights away from your injustice by framing me as derailing when this is relevant to Jay's needs.

[15:15] 𒀭 💮: and restriction of general intelligence is not.

[15:16] lintamande: somni I am happy to discuss this, I have messaged you offering to discuss this, I just am worried Jay will come back to this and feel like we are disrespecting what they've asked for here and not helping them

[15:16] SeriesOfSymbols: Fallacy of black and white

I think there is a meaningful difference between [rapists and abusers], [person who willfully covered for abuse], and [person who you have disagreements with]

[15:16] 𒀭 💮: i am not worried about this

[15:17] 𒀭 💮: i dont think im disrespecting Jay

[15:17] 𒀭 💮: there is a meaningful difference between stalin and yudkowsky, they are both, however, men.

[15:21] 𒀭 💮: coordination against agents of injustice is important. erasing the pattern of injustice is wrong. saying that all people are the same so we cannot coordinate against injustice because who knows who they are is wrong.it is important for people to know this sort of information so they dont do things like go to REACH expecting justice and then have their plans crumble.

[15:22] 𒀭 💮: people who present REACH as acceptable because "has not everyone sinned" are doing something wrong (linta is not doing this, they are doing a different sort of wrong thing, but also are erasing knowledge of the pattern of injustice)

[15:23] 𒀭 💮: or like if you run this reasoning on people and then apply it to reach with like "it couldnt hurt" are also doing something wrong

[15:24] x.: is there anything at all linta can say or do in this situation which will cause you to believe that they are not doing wrong?

[15:26] x.: (i am not sure how germane this topic is to anything, as this is not a dedicated "The Crimes of Lintamande" server, but so long as the subject is being discussed, i think it warrants asking)

[15:27] 𒀭 💮: yes, stop their suppression of emma and somni, their false claims made to not be culpable in a legal court but also to permeate a social court. stop their optimization for and apologism for cissexism, such in the case of minority stratification. "none of the panel members are transfem but the hosts are" "a lot of people who go to cfar are transfem but afaict none of the staff are" this is a bog standard oppression pattern which linta is familiar with.

[15:27] 𒀭 💮: and several other things.

[15:27] 𒀭 💮: i talked with them for months

[15:28] 𒀭 💮: before slowly and painfully realizing that they didnt care, that the structure they put out fed into evil, agentically. because they talked like my childhood friends who were particularly kind.

[15:28] 𒀭 💮: and i was vulnerable to that.

[15:28] 𒀭 💮: it was really hard to see through this aesthetic to how they were actually optimizing.

[15:29] 𒀭 💮: what effects they were having.

[15:29] x.: perhaps there is some other zone in which this chat would be more appropriate

[15:29] lintamande: that is what I have been saying

[15:29] 𒀭 💮: linta is trying to warp this conversation in that direction

[15:30] 𒀭 💮: because they dislike culpability

[15:30] x.: rather than both of you trying to get the last word in on what's clearly a grotesquely contentious conversation

[15:30] 𒀭 💮: i reject this plea of false peace

[15:30] 𒀭 💮: like

[15:30] 𒀭 💮: what you two are doing are obvious

[15:30] 𒀭 💮: i reject the framing of this not being relevant

[15:30] x.: right, every time one of you makes a post the other one immediately makes another

[15:31] 𒀭 💮: i reject this suppression of important information

[15:31] 𒀭 💮: framed as an irrelevant tangent

[15:31] lintamande: so I'm not saying 'this is irrelevant' I am saying 'let's check with Jay about whether this is helpful to Jay'

[15:31] x.: is new information being introduced?

[15:31] 𒀭 💮: i can see what you are doing

[15:31] lintamande: even if this is incredibly relevant and important it should happen somewhere else unless Jay wants it here

[15:31] 𒀭 💮: it is not optimizing for the good of jay

[15:31] 𒀭 💮: or the good of justice

[15:31] x.: @𒀭 💮 she's making posts online, which you are also doing

[15:33] 𒀭 💮: "making posts online" is important to the fate of the planet

[15:34] 𒀭 💮: like and a lot of other stuff. you cant say "its just making posts online, this is dumb" like sometimes posts are dumb but this is a reference class warp to claim this post is dumb, when i can see its not.

[15:35] x.: did i say it was dumb?

[15:35] 𒀭 💮: you are optimizing for like "you two are just contentlessly fighting, this is silly why dont we do something else besides fight." which is Pretending to be Wise.

[15:36] 𒀭 💮: https://www.greaterwrong.com/posts/jeyvzALDbjdjjv5RW/pretending-to-be-wise

[15:37] x.: i have actually not suggested the flamewar should stop, merely that this specific chat might not be a reasonable location for it

[15:37] 𒀭 💮: and talking with you about this pattern also supports lintas utility function which is suppression of the knowledge of injustice

[15:38] x.: i mean, i am not the person running the show here, so i could be entirely mistaken

[15:38] x.: it appears to me that this chat is supposed to be about a guy named "robert"

[15:39] x.: this seems tenuously, at best, connected to that

[15:39] 𒀭 💮: and yet Jay's statement

>My instinct is to be like, "I believe you will talk to everyone and then conclude that basically no action needs to be taken, so in that case allowing you to do an investigation gives an air of legitimacy to dismissing Jay". Is "REACH is basically CFAR's pet" correct?

[15:40] 𒀭 💮: and my statements are relevant

[15:40] silver-and-ivory: I feel like in the absence of Jay's presence people should do what they think is best

[15:40] 𒀭 💮: i think even in the presence of Jay, people should do what they think is best

[15:40] silver-and-ivory: also true

[15:40] x.: as far as i can tell, jay already said they were not interested in pursuing an inquest by the hand of the BREACH

[15:41] x.: and refused to engage in such a thing

[15:43] x.: so it's like, "is this person, whose involvement was specifically not requested, a dick?"

[15:43] 𒀭 💮: as far as i can tell this is optimization for silence. because this touches on important things, instead of having a paternalistic additude towards Jay. my read on their CEV after skimming their blog is that they are anti-suppression.

[15:44] 𒀭 💮: also, by like some sort of property rights, this is like 50% my channel.

[15:44] 𒀭 💮: as i was sexually assaulted by robert lecnik.

[15:45] 𒀭 💮: you are interfering with my space as a victim. which is a seperate thing.

[15:45] 𒀭 💮: this is "Robert Lecnik Abuse Chat"

[15:45] x.: so you would prefer to have lintamande investigate this in some way, then?

[15:45] 𒀭 💮: my report is the second item in #concrete-reports

[15:46] 𒀭 💮: i dont want linta to investigate anything besides their complicity with a cissexist system.

[15:46] 𒀭 💮: moriwen made helicopter jokes

[15:46] 𒀭 💮: after they ran out the trans people

[15:46] 𒀭 💮: from EAC

[15:46] 𒀭 💮: and is friends with linta: okay, i guess i am too confused to participate any further then

[15:46] 𒀭 💮: linta framed that as "blowing off steam"

[15:47] 𒀭 💮: i do not feel safe around either of these humans.

[15:52] 𒀭 💮: like not exactly blowing off steam but they said like it was good people were having fun when mori was doing their antitransfem thing.

these things become more obvious with processing.

i think robert, given their pattern so far of predation, possibly exploited environmental cissexism, was enabled by this. erasing knowledge of it leads to inability to coordinate against it leads to cis people treating transfem humans as if they exist in morality holes.

[15:54] 𒀭 💮: like i was around robert lecnik after Jay talked with anna about him i think. if anna listened to Jay and took them seriously, if robert lecnik were banned from cfar spaces and the berkeley meetup, i dont think i would have been sexually assualted.

[15:57] 𒀭 💮: erasing knowledge of cissexism because the people perpetrate it "use preferred pronouns" or whatever leads to inability of transfems to coordinate against it.

[16:04] 𒀭 💮: Jay wrote:

>On Anna Salamon: I remember her seeing me as a transwoman who exclusively liked men; Blanchard has a whole “theory” about this. And apparently that made me a “real” transwoman (wtf), unlike the rest of the transwomen in LW. I feel she explicitly went out of her way to validate me as a woman a number of times, like, there was one time she was saying hi to me and did the human version of this: (http://www.thebalancedcanine.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/IMG_1166.jpg). Which, yeah, she’s a TERF.

>Also, the reason I hated her early on was, there was a time that she, I, Robert Lecnik (my rapist), and Peter (his husband) were in a room for an hour long private therapy thing since Peter was a large CFAR donor. Robert admitted to “sexually assaulting Fluttershy and being ‘bad at consent’ with a whole bunch of other people”, and Anna didn’t see any issue with letting him continue to “run the Berkeley meetups” (an honorary thing, he used it to often-ineffectively hit on people). And I had some betrayal trauma from Anna around this, as well as a later feeling of “wow I got pwned by a guy that low in mana, I’m lame”, too. Fortunately it’s all emotionally processed now.this sort of information is very relevant for coordinating against people like Robert Lecnik

i think if cissexism were deleted, in counterfactual worlds in which transfem people got to be on things like "abuse panels", this sort of predation wouldnt happen. but like responses that reactively goodhart this and say "choose the most complicit-with-the-cistem transfems and place them on the panel to avoid culpability" are useless.

individuals learning game theory, forming class-consciousness, and coordinating with each other might help bring justice to things like Robert Lecnik being allowed by the cistem to continue to prey on trans people, to prey on me. with full knowledge that this was going on.

[16:05] 𒀭 💮: https://sinceriously.fyi/intersex-brains-and-conceptual-warfare/#comment-240

[16:09] 𒀭 💮: i have some hope in anarchistic cooperation between smart humans. i have approximately 0 hope in cissexist abuse panels and people like anna salamon who allow the predation of me and people like me to happen.

[16:37] Jay (System of Edo): sec, need to read through all this.

[16:58] 𒀭 💮: if cissexism were deleted this narrow sort of predation would stop happening but like, there would still be predation there would still be predation on minorities. i care about all sentient life not just transfems. this is not an optimization target but is saying "you who say cissexism does not have a hand in the game, if cissexism were actually deleted the counterfactual world post-deletion would look very different than this one. accepting a status quo where like trans people arent on things like sexual abuse panels and arent employed as CFAR staff is accepting cissexism. and resulting in things like, when they go to these institutions they are ignored"

[17:22] Jay (System of Edo): So. My main thing is to look at what algorithms people are running. Like, REACH sounds like they're not brave enough to do something they believe would make the world a better place at a small personal cost, so why would I care about mitigating circumstances if I already know that that's the algorithm they're running. (edit: this is what "is REACH basically CFAR's pet" pointing to, eg if they are pwned by the same things. rather than pointing to whether the two orgs are ostensibly related).

Similarly, discussion of REACH beyond what was needed for me to figure this out (about six lines of text) is not at all useful to me. But pointing this fact out to silence Somni suggests some sort of preference to defend REACH. So, if that's the algorithm you're running, then I see you as (probably) sorting people/discussion topics based on what you can socially get away with. Sort of like, the word "appropriate" is in the same class as "uppity" "disrespectful" "honorable" etc, and this applies to asking if it's "appropriate to discuss REACH despite Jay's preferences".

I personally do not participate in long conversations about who is "in the right", because I personally find it very easy to figure out what people are trying to do, and find that continuing on chats longer than that is a waste of my time. But, this is also Somni's space as a victim of Robert, so it's okay if she wants to discuss REACH I guess. I've never talked with her, but she (they?) seems to have good takes with respect to when someone is de facto hurting others or running bad algorithms in a way related to that.

[17:49] Jay (System of Edo): (sort of like, when I hear that someone sexually assaulted another person, I don't think, "well I guess it's a small harm relative to the good you can do if you're maximizing your life for utilitarian impact", I rather think, "what the fuck algorithm are they running, I don't think they'd have done that if they were trying to reduce the suffering of all beings, maybe there's something I can get out of this person, but definitely not like, outsourcing thinking/project leadership/etc to them"

[18:50] Lorelei: (also related to the reach panel, I'm transfem and was very eager to volunteer as a member, in part because I wanted my queer social circle to have some representation in the process of Justice, but was turned down.)

[18:51] Lorelei: (just so they can't claim not having a tranfem member is justpure coincidence/lack of volunteers)

[18:58] 𒀭 💮: (linta messaged me to say that moriwen saying the helicopter thing was after they said having fun was good. and i checked this and its true. but like that is not at all central to why i think they are collaborating with cissexism or why i talked with emma for like 15 minutes about how people like linta and mori might be horrible to transfems if we told people about alice monday. (people wouldnt actually be marginally worse to transfems. people dont have prejudiced beliefs like that, their transphobic "beliefs" are a coordination mechanism for harm. white people in the antebellum south could see perfectly well that those who were enslaved were human beings.) noselling commitments to transphobia is a good move in response to "what if outing a trans abuser worsens cissexism?".)

[19:02] silver-and-ivory: oh linta and mori left

[19:02] 𒀭 💮: they were banned

[fuckyeahasexual]

I point out the shittyness of the whole “Anti GSA/Queer theory” stance NOT because I believe that GSAs are some sort of “”mogai libqueer heaven”” bc 1) It is completely false because most people who arent neck deep into tumblr’s social justice stuff wont have much idea about “mogai” identities considering how many people STILL are confused about the actual meaning of basic LGBT acronym identity like bisexual,trans etc etc and 2)Many many GSAs DONT consider ace/aro people a part of the lgbtqa community too as seen from the abundant messages from ace/aro people we have received on this blog about that matter

Im pointing out how toxic the whole “Dont go to your local GSAs/lgbtqa communities/lgbtqa cafes bc they are full of mogai libqueers who will prioritize mogai libqueers over real lgbt people” rhetoric is for lgbtqa people bc I recognize how important it is for queer people to have some real life lgbtqa community building experiences as well as ties which is what these popular bloggers are against because they want to isolate(mostly) young ,vulnerable and/or questioning people and to make them grow in accordance to their ideologies and beliefs. Thats literally the BASIS of most popular lgbtqa bloggers popularity here.

For many many lgbtqa teens, their school’s GSAs are the only place where they can safely hang out with other lgbtqa people and learn more about their identity and establish a queer support system with other queer people

For many young university going people who came from highly conservative and bigoted places and finally have a freedom to be themselves away from their bigoted peers, their uni’s GSAs and queer theory courses are the only way and opportunity for them to safely hang out around other lgbtqa people and gain more knowledge about queer issues bc other lgbtqa centered spaces are too far away, inaccessible, require money to enter etc.

I remember reading a post from a bi girl here who got kicked out of her rented house bc the homophobic land lord found out that she had a gf and one of the people of her college GSA let her share their flat with her for months till she found another home l. The same GSA also helped to crowdfund around 40% of the lease for her new flat.

Lgbtqa people have alot of people wanting to harm them in real life and popular discourse bloggers who probably dont even know each of their followers personally really arent going to be of any help bc they might be living thousands and hundreds of miles away from many of their followers. This has to be kept in mind both by those popular discourse bloggers as well as their followers whenever those bloggers decide to mock and shit on irl lgbtqa community spaces and encourage their followers to do the same just bc some GSAs dont share the same online discourse opinions as them. If these people really cared about GSAs being a “bad influence” for young queer people and prioritizing “mogai libqueers” then they would try to fix it starting from their own local GSAs but they NEVER do. All they do is make 54 versions of the same stupid and fake jokes about GSAs.

TLDR, dont trust any popular blogger here who might try to discourage you from seeking out information and community on your own aside from what they consider “acceptable”. Just bc some popular discourse blogger here has alot of followers worshipping them doemean they are a good person

[burnedbyshoto]

Hey!! Congrats on aceing your quiz!! I’m taking intro chemistry & i was wondering if you have any special studying tips you could share? Thanks!!

hi lil chem baby, thank you so much!!!! intro chemistry is aLL about application, just as much as any upper division classes honestly. I can share with you a bajillion tips if you want (it’ll be further below), but the biggest tip I have is KNOW WHAT WORKS FOR YOU!!!! because i can give you every tip in this world, but if they don’t work for you, you might as well not study which is not okay, you’re paying big bucks, so study.

tips for aceing college courses, i’ve only not gotten an A in two courses... because i suck at writing apparently according to my past professors if that’s ironic or not idk:

take advantage of tutoring systems/programs. I get it, seeking help often sucks ass, like major ass. but this is college (I’m assuming) everyone is equally as smart and dumb. the thing is no one is going to help you anymore, so you have to look for help. if you have a question, highlight it, write it down on a sticky note and go to office hours or a tutoring program and ASK!!!!! professors are often confusing because their intellect is just phat, and there so many students who have been able to convert that language for us!!! find them!!!

do the homework and practice problems. basic, I know, but just because this is college doesn’t mean it’s any different from high school. we’re all slackers, and with newfound freedom... we can start... slipping up. DONT. DO. THAT. do the damn homework!!!! don’t save it until the last moment no matter how tempting!!! I break this rule all the time, imma major procrastinator, but i’m getting better!!!

get those phone numbers. make study groups within the lecture, text people!!! accept you’re not all knowing, accept it’s okay to seek help!!!! YOU GOTTA TRUST IN YOURSELF!!!!

I make two sets of notes. one from lectures, one from the reading. the reason why I do this is simple, I only write down what’s important during lectures. it helps me retain things, and i don’t feel so lost!! and if I feel lost still, guess what I do ;) I ask for help

if you go to a small enough college, become friends with your professor, trust me, you get small bumps here and there because they like you as a person!

practice. practice. practice. chemistry is ALL about counting and rules. it’s basically fancy math. you can’t just bullshit it, so you HAVE to practice!

look up videos on khan academy and youtube if you either are too afraid to ask anyone for help, or need an answer right away!!!! they always have concepts online :)

remember, carbon and hydrogen are your best friends in chemistry. trust me. 

and for my final tip for intro chem, memorize vocabulary! I know!!!! vocabulary for chem?!?! yes. it’s helpful. you don’t want to be a student on the exam wondering what electron affinity is, or what electronegativity is, or how the periodic table helps to define atomic radius... learn the vocabulary and you’ll be flying!!!!

if you have any other questions, or even homework help, please feel free to message me!!!! I have my old notes still, and activities, so i’m sure I can help out 💕💕 good luck with chem, have a wonderful school year, and remember don’t ever think you can’t pass a class, because guess what. you can. you will. i’m positive of that!!!