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#the ones who subconsciously think 'well i' depressed. my gran's depressed. my boss is depressed. we all work FINE'
uncanny-tranny · 1 year
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About that thing re "trans men dont know what its like to be seen as predatory", I feel like everyone in the lgbt community generally agrees lesbians are treated as predatory by str8 women, gay men are treated as predatory by str8 men, I (as a trans man) used to think I was a lesbian and went throught life as one. Accordingly I was treated like I am predatory. I am now a gay men, and accordingly I am treated as predatory. On top of that, cis gay men treat me as predatory (scawy transes trying to get them to have sex w a vageenay boohoo) and women treat me as predatory every time I open my mouth about sharing some of their experiences (because me needing iuds at the obgyn inherently means I, as a man, inavde their man-free space). Literally all queer people are constantly treated as predatory by cishet society at large, everyone knows it and keeps saying it and is talking about it because its no secret and everyone is aware of it.
But the second the convo turns to how terfs hurt trans men? Suddenly, we have no idea what its like to be treated as predatory and suddenly the world sees trans men specifcially as helpless little girly victims.
And honestly? Even if it were the case that trans men and transmasculine* people were solely infantilized... it's still harmful. I was initially bringing up that because it's like... I guess the only narrative people want to hear about our suffering, I guess, because it's easier to digest. It's easier to look at it and write it off as, "well you're just infantilized, show me a real problem," and that's the issue - it's twofold. It is simultaneously the need to relegate the experiences of a diverse community into one box and then say, "well, it's just infantilization, who cares when [x] issue is more dangerous" afterward.
It is frustrating, at best, to not be heard. And I've found that so many people aren't just infantilized... I think a lot of queer people are, I don't think it's unique to us. However, people are almost surprised when trans men and transmasculine* people open up more, in my experience.
It's definitely more complex to include more trans experiences with transphobia and the intersections of things like rascism, homophobia, antisemitism, islamophobia, misogyny, ableism... but it is still important. In fact, it often informs in addition to how trans people are treated. Transphobia doesn't exist in a vacuum, and it often doesn't exist alone. That is why we need to have these complex discussions.
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