#the only thing keeping me together rn is blasting queen music and being on tumblr or reading lmao

[lez-exclude-men]

I mean this in the most respectful way possible, but have you actually been close friends with any trans people?

Yes, one of my close friends identifies as non-binary, and two people I knew in hs (one was a best friend, the other was just a friend) transitioned, but then detransitioned to different degrees in college (the former best friend and I still keep in touch, but they went through an abusive relationship and were talked into cutting me off and then we reconnected but they're still healing and figuring themselves out etc-- long story).

I will say I for the most part feel like respecting pronouns is important. I dont for people who are clearly predators or when a crime is committed that is male violence and needs to be recognized as such for contextual reasons, etc.

I also support safe medical care for dysphoric folks; current close friend that identifies as non-binary for a few years had really bad chest dysphoria and I helped them research binding and got them the safest proper binder I could. I did, however, heavily encouraged them to find a good therapist, and that helped them a lot. Generally my stance on dysphoria is that therapy should be the first treatment option, and the therapist should figure out if the individual can work through it, or learn to manage it, or if it is a strong/stubborn type and requires medication (HRT) as well. I think dysphoric folks deserve informed consent-- to know all the potential short term and long term risks and effects of HRT (which neither of my hs friends got). HRT shouldnt be the first thing doctors/therapists jump to, it shouldnt be taken lightly, and it shouldn't be encouraged without making sure the person is both informed and able to consent (ik this isnt the majority of cases, but 13 year olds shouldn't be prescribed life altering drugs, no matter whether or not they agree in the moment). I also think we should recognize sex and gender are different. A dysphoric person can change their appearance and body to be closer to the opposite sex, but you can't actually change your sex.

I take issue with people claiming to be trans or nonbinary or something with no dysphoria. I dont think nonbinary is actually a thing, I think it's just various forms of being GNC smooshed together, and I take issue with the idea of it. But when one is gnc qnd has dysphoria and wishes to be called they/them to alleviate some of that, that's fine, it just doesn't make you some "other" category. And I do have an intense hatred of men (males), and hate when they use their dysphoria or made up gender as an excuse/explanation for violence against women.

--my thoughts are much more detailed and nuanced than that, but I'm going to continue to my actual point instead of going down that rabbit trail.

This blog is just a snapshot of part of me. And I've done a lot of growing and changing here, so some of my older, angrier posts may not apply as much anymore. And idk if I still have this in my bio or not (I did for a while), but not everything I reblog I agree with. Sometimes it's just food for thought, sometimes there's some underlying reason and I'm frustrated/angry and this is my way to vent.

My beliefs and politics, though not entirely, closely align with those of @radicallyaligned , if you want to go read some of her posts. She's much more eloquent on the topics of gender and politics and women's anger than I am and I am frequently in awe of how she manages to word things.

The bottom line is: dysphoria is real, gender roles should not be so strict that being gnc is really even a thing, female people need to be protected from males and should have their rights ensured, and there is a lot of complex history and medical stuff involved in all of this.

And really, my feminism is one of the most important things to me, which means I am an activist for female people, for which I use the term women as a category, even though this includes trans men and other ways of seeing oneself. It does not include, not now or ever, people born male.

I hope that answers your question, and all the other ones that were wrapped up in it. And thank you for clarifying you were trying to be respectful about this and not come off as condescending. I hope you have a good evening, and feel free to drop by my ask box another time if you want 💙