#the only thing you're entitled to is that particular tag if there is something in the fic that should be warned for

[queerofthedagger]

everyone write 100 lines of "'creator chose not to use archive warnings' is proper tagging no matter what else is in that fic and if you OPEN a fic tagged as such it's entirely on you whatever you find in there" before going back to any discourse on dark fic and antis i am BEGGING

[chqnified]

The unnecessary digs from people on the daily lmao and it's almost always on what i wear. Like nobody asked, you look like you blindfolded chose your outfit from primark love.

[bughugz]

DNI minors, zoos, pedos, transphobes, homophobes, racists, detrans, eating disorder blogs, self harm blogs, cishet men, 'men dni' blogs, ableists, blank and ageless accounts there's probably more if any of these things are you or you give off a not good vibe or whatever i'll block you

hiiiii i'm rory you can also call me bug, bun, or worm! it doesn't much matter to me which of these you use for me i'm a 20 year old 2spirit gnc trans man i only use he/it pronouns (on t!) please perceive as like effeminate boyish and creaturelike with some sprinkling of cultural and spiritual context to confuse the masses i'm also neurodivergent and chronically ill please be patient with me and maybe use tone tags

i'm very non monogamous and don't really label my sexuality i'm simply attracted to gender fuckery usually very t4t and i love woman and nonbinary people in a very queer way i have a big masc lean on here it's very faggy i mostly post transmasc for transmasc content

feel free to flirt with me and be like gross and horny i love attention my dms and asks are open i love interacting with y'all but consent is valued i have a life and i will not tolerate disrespect you can also send pics if you ask nicely and i might send back i may however also choose not to respond to your advances please do not act entitled i don't make a habit of creating close personal relationships on the internet and i don't owe you anything if you really want my attention or just like my content ... tip me! my venmo and cashapp are both $bughugz

i'm basically a subby bottom bitch boy the vast majority of the time i would not feel comfortable domming most people i'm just occasionally feral and sadistic will dom bottom if i feel like it i find more power in being the one receiving sooo do with that what you will

kinks & limits + terminology and names you can use for me + some stuff to get to know me outside of kink below cut:

key to my heart as a sub is petplay (mostly bunny sometimes puppy) but here is a way too long list of other things i like and may also post about in no particular order:

intox (420!)

cnc (might include uncensored use of the word rape)

overstimulation / edging

bondage / restraints

praise / degradation (not of looks)

crying

sadomasochist

dumbification

manhandling

impact play

spanking

breeding (not pregnancy)

biting / scratching

marking / bruising

free use / public play / anonymous sex etc

group sex / gangbangs / spit roasting etc

objectification !!!!

limits ie things i won't be posting about or engaging in for my safety and comfort but to each their own

abdl / ddlg / other variants

scat

beastiality

piss

vomit

race play

oviposition/eggs

detrans / misgendering

body mods ie play piercing

any sorta of burning or just open flame

if you're curious to know more of my thoughts on something that is or is not here send me an ask or dm!!!

terminology and names you can use for me include:

chest, tits, t/dick, cunt, hole (bunny, puppy, or boy prefixes are fine ie puppycunt, boytits, bunny hole)

bunny, puppy, mutt, bitch, angel, baby, good boy, love, slut, whore, (fuck)toy, pretty boy, sweetheart etc

i also like masc compliments and being called pretty!you can definitely ask if you wanna call me a particular pet name i love them and most are fine but i do not like little one, the word girl, or princess !!!

get to know me outside of kink:

i'm an herbalist and i love plants and ethnobotany especially

i'm in college slowly working towards an environmental science degree

i love bugs and crystals and anything miniature

i like cozy games and fashion and books

i'm a fiber artist and like to experiment with lots of different mediums and styles

i like to roller skate badly

exploring in nature is one of my favorite pastimes whether it's tide pooling or admiring all the little things in a small stretch of forest

this is 100% a horny blog and i will be spamming my silly horny and sometimes non horny thoughts so often that you might hate me not great with words mostly rambling. but please don't hesitate to try and befriend and get to know me and ask me about any of this stuff i like dms just so long as you're respectful i do have social anxiety so i may not dm first!

pics of me are tagged #wormy pics

audios of me are tagged #wormy audios

original text nsfw and sfw is all mostly lumped into #bun ramblings

asks are #wormyasks

anons: 🌸, 🦊, 👾,🪼,💀

[tac-bat]

Why I hate how the elders are treated and misinterpreted in a big chunk of the fandom. Rant!

Before we start

I mention fat phobia, and talk about how certain hair types and cultural clothing is described as "food" as a response to what some of the elders are perceived by alot of the fandom. These comments are not only directed at some elders, but many folks who have gotten representation from them are also affected these comments that many thrown around freely.

I’m at my breaking point and will get heated on an array of things but I don’t care

You're entitled to your own opinion, even if i heavily disagree with it. If you don't wanna read then just scroll, because I will rip apart the interpretations I talk about under the read more tag.

If you "don't see this happening" or believe this "doesn't happen" that doesn't mean it didn't happen, Tumblr isin't the only social media I have. I've dabbled in the official Discord, on Instagram, and god forbid Pinterest too, i've seen it all.

Let’s go in order, most issues I have a bone to pick with are more prevalent in some elders more than others.

Daleth

They’re just forgotten, really. Even with knowing what Isle looked like before. Flourishing even, populated seen in the switch trailer and even making an appearance in the Auroras' concert for runaways, they’re pretty much never talked about. And if they are they're just kinda only the butt of pee-paw jokes

Ayin

Their characterization is just confusing to me. I've seen a lot of them portrayed as happy-go-lucky. I’m not saying they can’t be happy, but from what I’ve seen, that’s all they are to a lot of folks in the fandom that I’ve seen. Which really confuses me because in their cutscene they wake up in a daze, notice us, are sort of like "ah, hi," and get straight to work. And they’re gentle, tipping the pot to the butterfly they make to enter. But then there's their orbit cutscene, where they look tired and a tad grouchy after being woken up—not mean, just tired. Again, nothing wrong with it, but it’s pretty one-dimensional to me to just see them as all that.

On a more bitter note, i've seen alot of "fat jokes" or straight up fatphobia in art and comments alike about their body, "Why are they so fat?" -a comment i've actually seen in the discord regarding Ayin. it's disgusting.

Teth

I have so much shit to say about them.

They're not mean simply because they took your light.

"But they snatched it away." Motherfucker, you're looking surface level. THINK!

Imagine you're dead, stuck in limbo for god knows how long, rotting away without anything to do. And you enjoy building and creating, and you were possibly the catalyst for the production of darkstone; your temple could be a goddamn factory for it! So much so that your anvil and hammer are in your constellation; they're a part of you. It’s what you love. And now that you're dead, with no light to fuel, no life to live, forced to sit there with broken shards, it'd bore you, drain you. And then a child appears with a flame; and for the first time in thousands of years, if not more, you can create, build, make something.

And you do.

You take the light without a second thought, regaining your strength and setting to work to help this child pass through your realm to the other elder. You just put all your focus on making the diamond, and when you finish and are proud of it, you send it up to the sky. You’ve created again. And in your orbit cutscene, you're much gentler, no longer bound to that soul-sucking abyss of nothing, so you honour the children who gave you light, your gift. Taking your time and presenting it to them with grace.

That’s what Teth does; that’s what they do. Yes, they seem like a more serious person, but they’re in no way mean. Did they take your light away? Yes. But putting yourself in their shoes for just a moment can make you understand why.

Samekh

I love the twins; I’m a fan of them, and I love Sah in particular with all my being. Which is why this one I will get very passionate about.

It baffles me how those two got the impression of being idiots who share a single brain cell. I don’t mind the jokes, but some people think that’s all they are. Which is just so wrong, like? How can you be so wrong? Would a ruler who built their fucking realm, Valley Triumph of all names, in a goddamn mountains? Would the most prosperous, decorated, and successful realm be led by idiots? Let me repeat that, They built the realm Valley of Triumph, in the fucking MOUNTIANS! Do you know how hard it is to make a city that size in those conditions? MOUNTAINS ARE FUCKING BRUTAL, WITH LESS OXYGEN, EVEN LESS WITH MASK'S, AND FOR HOW UNPREDICTABLE THE WEATHER IS ITS INSANE. Yet valley thrived! They thrived in those mountains, creating impossible architecture, floating buildings, and sports ranging from sliding to flying to manta racing.

Would idiots who share a brain cell accomplish that? No! It's incredible what the twins achieve—an amazing realm and, in my opinion, the capital of the sky. Eden, on the other hand, seems more like a sacred place where you ascend. Not to mention the Citadel? Hello??? It's fucking fantastic; it's incredible how they created such a beautiful realm in the mountains. They wanted races; they got them; they wanted enrichment; they have theatre, gondolas, even the coliseum, and races too.

The twins can be silly and serious, and they are shown to have the same rivalry as all siblings do. But they are not dumb idiots, not in the least.

Tsadi

Tsadi, like Ayins, is just confusing. I’m not too well versed, but I’ve seen iterations of them where they side with "Resh," who is really just a concept art character that has definitely changed from the base game in concept art. Even then, they've never officially appeared in-game; you just have those statues in Wasteland. And in those interpretations of seeing Resh as a full-fledged character, they’re seen as "evil," which I don’t agree with at all. I mention them because most of the time, Tsadi would side with Resh in the war to mant; them seeing Resh as pro-Darkstone in the war (the diamonds Teth makes, and that we light up, basically the main power source for sky), this would imply Tsadi destroyed their realm because they followed the "king." However, their sun shield is right there; based on the memories of wounded warriors, it shows that they were on the "sun side" of their friend. If they we're pro darkstone and was on the same side as the hypothetical "king" wouldn't they have a diamond shield?

"But the spear falling in warrior's and seeds memory could be them," would you expect Tsadi to attack their own realm, where civilians are in warrior memory? Attack their own PEOPLE for the reasons I stated above?

Lamed

Like most of the elders, they're pretty much forgotten. And frankly, I haven’t seen any character interpretations that stick out, so their section is more about how they’re mistreated. Mostly on their headscarf, which is confirmed to be based off a hijab by one of the devs, Ash. Who explains why we should be respectful about it.

And god, so many POC deal with shit already because their hair or cultural clothing are described as food or even worse which many hate. It's disheartening to see almost every joke or comparison refer to Lamed being an "Egg".

More stuff that piss me off

"Bad rulers"

I despise when folks call the elders "evil" or "bad rulers," not seeming to care for their people or even being seen as lazy, which baffles me. Have you watched the vault cutscene?

ALL OF THEM ARE ASSISTING ANCESTORS, AND EVERYONE IS LEADING, GUIDING, OR CREATING THINGS FOR THE ANCESTORS IN SOME WAY.

For fuck's sake, Flight Guide is Ayin's apprentice! Would someone who doesn't care about their people bother with an apprentice? Even a flight guide shares the same pattern on their pants as Ayin, and the same pattern on the flight post's. It's ridiculous how folks can spew the most disproven zero reading comprehension ever when this shit is right here.

And they're not saints; they made mistakes, of course, but I see them wanting the best for their people and the kingdom. But in the process, they made huge mistakes that piled up and spilled over, resulting in the kingdom's downfall. But it wasn’t done out of malice; they tried and messed up big time, but they weren't evil, not one bit.

How many treat Lamed and Teth when it comes to shipping

I can’t stop who you ship; as long as it’s not weird and illegal, it’s whatever for me. Some pairs are not for me because of personal preferences/ familial head cannons, but I do dabble in ships. Yet it’s more mellowed out to me just saying "cute" when I see fanart and moving on. But it irritates me that when Teth or Lamed are shipped with most people, they appear to be more submissive in some ways. I’m not saying they can’t be happy, but to me, in so much ship art, it seems like just because they look more feminine, they’re suddenly almost always a blushing or shy mess, or (and I hate to use this term) a tsundere for Teth in some other cases. But that’s completely my biased opinion.

Fucks sake in my earlier time in the fandom, I was a Lamed/Tsadi fan, but again, it’s mellowed out to me just seeing fanart and thinking it's cute and moving on if it comes naturally. But I didn’t make one meek and the other an alpha male or some dumb shit when I used to draw them as I've seen many do. I mention this because I can see some folks calling me hypocritical for pointing this out. But the reason it irritates me is when Teth or Lamed are paired with someone (who often appears to be masc) almost always seem out of character simply because they're with said person. Which rubs me the wrong way since they are usually almost always seen as fem presenting in many folks eyes. Again, I don't have an issue with the pairs themselves; it just irks me when only their personalities seem to be changed for the sake of it, where it's just out of character.

How some elders greatly overshadow others and leave them in the dust

I'm guilty of this, fucks sake most of my content is twin stuff. And while I can feed on alot of twin content here, many folks who are fans of any other elder's barely get crumbs, even less so with Daleth, Ayin, And Lamed who are pretty much left do the dust. Which I hate because i know why.

The reason, Twins and Teth and even Tsadi are so popular when they others aren't is because they're "conventionally attractive", all are fit, all are gorgeous and can be attractive to many. Yet so can the others be appreciated, yet they aren't. Again, i know a hypocrite because of my blog being mostly twin stuff, yet even blogs like mine that don't focus on a single elder barely draw Daleth, Ayin, and Lamed. It sucks ass.

I think that’s all. I’m just sick of how the elders are treated by everyone.

[duckprintspress]

I think you're missing the central point about the les-for-les recs thing. Imagine for a moment that someone said they were creating a romance recommendation list for straight-straight romances which specifically excludes straight-bi romances. Not limiting their criteria to stories only centering m/f relationships or which have a straight main character (understandable personal preferences), but which specifically exclude the presence of bisexuality in the story even if those criteria are met.

You'd immediately clock that as biphobic, right? Because if it's not about what pov identity someone feels represented by, and not what flavor of relationships they want to read, but about feeling threatened or grossed out by an author saying a character's sexuality could, at one point, include or have included other genders...

If someone wants recs for wlw stories with specifically lesbian main characters? Awesome. With only sapphic relationships present? Have fun. Specifically excluding the presence of bi women? Wait, uhhh, why, specifically would that matter if the other criteria are met? You know, other than biphobia.

I think, no matter what, that people are allowed to have preferences, and excluding bisexuality still is a preference.

Taking the scenario you propose. Are they saying, "straight relationships with bi characters are WRONG and EVIL and HAVE NO RIGHT TO EXIST and people who make that are BAD PEOPLE" etc. etc., or are they just saying, "I'm personally not comfortable reading stories that include bi characters, and I want to make a resource for people who feel as I do." The first is completely off the wall and I would never defend them. But the second? I'd at least defend their right to do that.

Would I platform them doing so? No.

Should I have platformed the les-4-les in this case? Also no. As I said in my reply to another ask just now, I clearly made a mistake, and I own that, acknowledge it, and apologize for it. Make enough judgement calls in a lifetime, sooner or later everyone makes the wrong one, and in this case, I did, plain and simple. I didn't clock the biphobic aspect as solidly as I should have on my initial glance through. I should be reading more carefully and thinking more thoroughly before I reblog posts like that. I screwed up.

But I will stand by that in the same way that some people prefer a certain top/bottom dynamic and that this isn't inherently homophobic, in the same way that an individual can be uncomfortable dating a person - no matter the person's gender - if that person's genitalia doesn't match their preference, in the same way that individuals are always allowed to have things with which they are comfortable and things they're not, it's not inherently wrong for someone to want to make a blog that highlights lesbian relationships that have never involved a bi person.

And again, I'm not saying I didn't screw up by platforming it. I obviously screwed up.

But an individual having that preference isn't something I'm prepared to police at the level you describe. People are allowed to be uncomfortable reading a book with content that squicks them, and are allowed to create resources, request tags, etc., that help them avoid the content they don't want to read. We can't tell people "don't like, don't read" then get all pissy when they try to say, "here's what I don't like to read and I want to make a resource to help people like me find things they'll want to read." Even when the thing they're "don't like, don't read"-ing is something exclusionary.

And we are entitled to avoid the people who make choices we think are weird, dumb, uncomfortable, whatever. "Hey, those preferences scream 'biphobe' about OP. Blocked!"

I should have avoided the les-4-les blog. That was clearly my mistake.

But I won't say I think it has no right to exist. Only that it serves people with a particular mindset, one I don't share and shouldn't have platformed, and if it helps the people with that mindset, then I'm glad. Everyone has a right to read things they're comfortable with. Even biphobes.

And honestly? I'm debating platforming this ask and it's response. I'm aroace and before I knew those identities existed, I thought I was bi (because the way I feel about all genders is the same! that's what bi is, right? lmao, the confused-bi-to-oh-wait-ace pipeline...). I'm married to a bisexual/homoromantic woman. Anyone who thinks I'm a biphobe and want to platform biphobes, endorse or defend biphobes, etc., really doesn't know me, and I don't want to open a can of worms inadvertently. But like. As I started this post by saying...people are allowed to have preferences and I will continue to defend the right for them to have those preferences, even if they are preferences I don't share or even preferences I think are kinda reprehensible. And I would say exactly the same if it was hetero-for-hetero. Because yeah, it's biphobic, and I fucked up by platforming it, but people are still allowed to have that preference.

Sorry, I know I'm going around in circles in this answer. It's because engaging with this kind of thing makes me very anxious. So I'm going to leave it at that and shut up now.

-unforth

(side note: I do not promise to continue answering/engaging with asks I receive on this topic. I don't think I have anything more to add to my explanation or to my apology.)

[altschmerzes]

any more details on jamie settling in living with ted + adjusting to that everything you’ve posted is so good

YES ABSOLUTELY here is, in no particular order, an assortment of details about the process of jamie settling into living with ted and adjusting to that new reality:

(cw for non-detailed references to abuse and ptsd symptoms stemming from abuse trauma)

- when ted first takes jamie home from the hospital, roy goes with them. he sleeps on the couch in ted's flat for over a week before he's finally willing to spend the night in his own house (away from jamie) and that is far from the last time he stays at ted's just because neither of them can stand to be away from the kid overnight. eventually, bc it is murder on his back, roy starts sleeping in ted's room with him when he stays over on those nights, bc their dynamic is evolving too as all this is happening and they get a lot closer as they're like, really in the thick of basically co-parenting this kid together. (i am EARNING my platonic co-parenting tag on this fic okay sdlsk) this part isn't so much about jamie but it's a detail about those early days that i think about a lot.

- in the early days jamie really tries to like- he wants it to be Clear that look i'm not asking for anything i'm not entitled to, this is a Business Arrangement or whatever, you're too good a guy to let me go back to my dad after what happened or keep bouncing around my friends' couches like i've been doing while in london, but i know what this is and what it isn't. and ted's just like. respectfully. i do not think you do.

- (bc obviously ted is like. i did not take in an abused sixteen year old to be my roommate. when he talked to michelle on the phone about what he wanted to do, how he wanted to take action not only to get jamie away from james but to bring him home as well, and he wanted to make sure it wasn't going to be a bad decision for henry's sake, michelle told him to go get his kid. that's what this is. as far as ted's concerned, this was his official step into the role of being this boy's father, and he's going to live up to that.)

- even though ted's never raised a hand to him, it's hard for jamie to believe, really internalize and believe that he's safe there. sometimes, something will trigger him and he'll be pretty sure for at least a brief period of time that ted's going to snap and things are going to get bad. one time when this happens and jamie has a particularly bad panic attack as a result, once he gets calmed down and settled a bit, ted decides to try something new to see if it'll help. he first explains that jamie is never, ever going to be hit here, because this is not a hitting family, and ted is not going to scream and holler at him either. he'll make mistakes, and might raise his voice every so often, but he'll do his best not to and he'll always apologize if it happens, because that's not okay here.

and then after that, after making that extremely clear, ted goes on with his new plan for something that might help:

"Until you can believe me, or any time you’re just not sure, that’s the real nice thing about this community we got here, is you’ve got plenty of real good people around you that you can go to. So if I ever do anything that hurts you or scares you, you can call one of them, and they’ll help you and keep you safe. I’m not ever gonna give you a reason to need to make that call, but it’s important you know that it’s a call you can make. So we’re gonna make a list, okay?"

"A list?"

"A list of people you can call, if I ever hurt you or make you think I’m gonna hurt you. So that you can look at it and know you have choices."

so they make a list. (roy is the first name that goes on it. but they add a lot of others too - beard. higgins. julie. sarah kent. rebecca. mae the pub owner, which gets a laugh out of ted.) (it's a big list, and it's a little overwhelming for jamie to look at. he spent a long time suffering and scared on his own, and now he's only got the memory of that, the way living like that has made him afraid even when he's safe, and he has this whole list of people who'd drop anything to get him out of a bad situation if he just made a phone call.) (ted DOESN'T ever give him reason to use it, but while he's working on believing that ted isn't going to hurt him, even now that jamie lives with him even now that ted is becoming, has become his dad it makes him feel just that much safer to know that even if it did happen, he wouldn't be alone again)

- the first time that jamie's friends come over to hang out is a really, really big deal. not just to jamie (who did not bring friends over to his dad's place) and to ted (who knows it's a big step for him to do this, to take up space like that) but to the kidgang too (they've never seen him like this, without the looming threat of what he went home to hanging over him).

[olderthannetfic]

"B sounds cold and creepy to a lot of people instead of… you know… being a sign of having boundaries and not taking on other people’s emotions to a disabling degree."

( Re this post https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/715060100649369600 )

Stop me if I'm reaching, but I've seen two unrelated contexts recently that ring of "taking on other people's emotions to a disabling degree"

"If an artist posts art and requests you do not tag it with [specific things they hate, be it kin or OC or a NOTP], you're being disrespectful and bad even if you're just tagging it because you like the thing and are using the tag feature for its benefits

"If a fic writer deletes fic, maybe they deleted it for personal reasons and you're being entitled and disrespectful if you go looking for it, such as on deleted fic archives, or even share deleted fic-finding services with no specific fic or author in mind"

I've been involved in both kinds of arguments and in both cases "It's not my job to care or think about a stranger's feelings to the extent that a close friend would, and neither tagging posts for your own convenience nor accessing deleted resources is seen as generally discourteous" was a significant part of my reasoning.

But anyway, I feel like there's a strong overlap here. Especially since artists from 1. tend to also be laundry list of DNIs anti types.

--

Those can seem entitled or not depending on how much they're being shoved in the requester's face, I think.

The cases I was thinking of with that particular post were something slightly different:

Often, people will make the argument that many children don't have a responsible authority figure in their lives, so saying "X is the parents' job!" is cruel. Or they'll say that lots of people have mental illness that makes it hard not to look at content that upsets them, so saying it's their own job to monitor their own internet use and mental health is, again, cruel. It all boils down to:

My Mental Health is Your Job

I do think that expecting internet randos to tag how you want them to tag is an exercise in futility, but it's only sometimes about thinking others owe you the therapy or love the rest of your life hasn't provided. Sometimes, it boils down to "I will be mad if..." and not "My well-being is literally your responsibility".

Sometimes, it's just a request made in the body of an art post where you know rebloggers saw it. It can be a little entitled since people use tags to organize their own blogs, sure, but not necessarily super entitled in the same way as assuming that people will click through to your tumblr and read your whole header/DNI/Carrd before interacting with something on their dash.

"It's disrespectful to me that any deleted fic sharing exists" is pretty entitled. "Can you stop posting requests for a public DL link to this thing I deleted?" is a lot more reasonable. Neither is the same as "It causes me psychological harm that people still like my deleted fic that I now hate, and my mental health is your problem, internet rando."

[figmentof]

this lovely gifset got me thinking but didn't want to keep this in the tags

complain all you want about this season you're allowed to have your opinions, but you can't deny this is one of the several things the show did right which was bring something up and actually follow through with it: chekhov's orgasm ✅ chekhov's letter ✅ chekhov's innkeepers ✅

so many people have conveniently forgotten how many shows would bring something up only to never touch upon it again, or worse, go down a completely different route than initially stated. a lot of people applied their entitlement about the plot direction and the fate of a particular character onto this season when the narrative has done nothing but make it CLEAR where they're going and his ultimate demise since s1, it's not the writer's fault you didn't catch it

if this show has a habit of saying one thing and doing another, then sure, in that instance arguments that the death was unreasonable or unexpected or even unjust would actually hold up. but the show gave us multiple hints across several episodes and this specific one even goes as far back as last season, so ultimately you can't throw a temper tantrum at the writers when you lack media literacy and you're refusing to pick up what the show is putting down

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

Was passing by and smelled a steaming heap of drama lol. Cause I'm like that, I went back and read every single ask about the big discussion to make sure I saw everything.

Not that anyone asked me, but with my psych hat on and having participated in the discussion myself and on the opposing side to you but having thoroughly enjoyed it, here are my takeaways:

1. I communicate a little but similarly to you. I separate emotions from facts and opinion and I feel that most times I should be able to have a brutally logical, articulated debate with someone without worrying about their feelings. However, the topic itself made that a big gamble. It's one of those topics that is deeply emotional and weaved through with layers upon layers of other emotional things like self-worth, values, purpose in life, culture, family, traditions, etc etc etc. A large number of people would simply be unable to have a conversation on this topic without their emotions getting mixed in.

2. But here's the kicker- just because a topic is emotionallt laden doesn't mean that you're responsible for someone taking it personally and running with it. One thing I do agree with, perhaps only tag moots/followers in such things that you know aren't bothered and are not easily triggered. And don't tag anything with "smut" that doesn't actually have explicit sex in it. I know it's tempting, it helps it get more traction but it's not good tagging etiquette. "Clogging the tags" they call it. However, even if you tagged someone in something, it's their choice whether to take it as a personal attack, a simple question, or ignore it altogether. Personally I've not responded to every single thing you've tagged me in or felt obligated to because sometimes I just have no opinion or nothing to say, or maybe I disagree but I'm not in the mood to discuss. No one HAS to respond to anything, it's a choice. They can also choose whether they get into a fight with you or not.

3. Other than that, there are loads of other things that affect how people perceive a topic or your take on a topic in general, and some of those were evident in people's answers. Like their own history, their beliefs about themselves, about the world, about what they think they deserve or what is realistic, what they feel they're entitled to (entitled isn't an outright bad word folks, by the way). Those things can be like an Instagram or Snapchat filter, they can make us see things differently to what they actually are. For anyone that wants to actually learn about this and work on themselves, search "cognitive distortions". There are at least 15 of them, over 15 different ways that our thinking can get wonky and starts being unhelpful to us.

4. We had a lot of discussion and not once did I feel disrespected for holding a different view to you. It's not even about "disagreeing" because it's so personal and subjective. I didn't see you pushing other people to come around to your point of view, I saw you just laying out your personal reasons for choosing not to have children. And plenty of other people who wanted children were perfectly happy to participate in the discussion, give their own reasoning and experiences and weren't disrespected or manipulated by you in any way.

5. This was a broad topic. Tagged or not, if there was no prior history of you discussing it with a particular person or having had heated exchanges with them in the past, then them taking it personally or seeing disrespect in your words is them choosing to take it that way.

Hello my love! @muselin

You're my fave psych moot and I'm so glad you've taken the time to come on here to respond to me! I feel stronger when you're around.

The 'clogging the tags' etiquette is a valid point and i didn't get that its bad etiquette so I'll take the steps as to not do that again.

And thank you for the time to read through every single ask, that would have been a long time and a lot of tea being spilled.

I'm honestly a bit too mentally fatigued to really elaborate more on the important of the post but just know that you have made some very beautiful points that everyone should see because they do add value to the topic that was discussed.

Truly, from the bottom of my heart. I am so grateful to have found you on this app.

[queerofthedagger]

You followed be back after I followed you and then unfollowed me a few days later?

I'm assuming that this is a question about why I unfollowed you again.

Short answer: come off anon, and I will tell you exactly which post it was that you put on my dash that made me decide I didn't want to see more of you.

But because this is something I have strong feelings about, because I've had a bunch of asks about this that I've ignored, and because you were only slightly rude, the longer answer is: fanfiction, and fandom as a whole, is a hobby of mine. I do this to unwind, to have fun, to enjoy myself. As such, I'm very, very particular about curating my experience on here. If someone follows me and I feel up to it, I'll check their blog to see if I might want to follow back (side note: a lot of times I won't have the time or energy and won't do this at all). I won't follow back if the initial scroll of someone's profile shows me they have a bunch of stuff I don't care about, or has takes about my favourite shows and/or characters I disagree with.

I will block someone if they have nothing on their blog, if they display antisemitism, racism, transphobia, queerphobia, etc., or if they so much as vaguely allude to buying into the belief that 'some' ships or themes in fiction are immoral. Yes, that includes the "icky stuff". Yes, this includes the stuff I personally don't want to read. If you think that there are any topics in fiction and/or fanfiction that people shouldn't write about or enjoy, I will block you on sight.

Again, this is my hobby. I do not use tumblr for politics or whatever. This doesn't mean I don't care, it simply means that I consider tumblr the worst possible medium to do anything about it. In a broader sense, beyond specific topics: you're entitled to your opinion. I'm entitled to thinking that you are mighty stupid, and to prevent myself from having to deal with your bad takes.

If I haven't blocked you but only unfollowed, you probably posted and/or reblogged takes about shows, books, or characters I care about that I don't agree with. I cannot say this often enough - I am here to have fun. I'm not here for discourse, I'm not here to see people drag things that bring me joy. I'm not saying you're wrong, even if the petty part of me thinks you are. You are here to have fun too. But I don't want to see it, plain and simple. I don't have to. If you get on my nerves through the tags or through other people's reblogs, I will block you for this too. Yes, I'm merciless about this; the number of blogs I've blocked goes far, far into the upper hundreds, and this isn't counting tags and blacklisted words.

This is called 'boundaries'. I'm an adult at the far end of my twenties. I have a work life, and an academic life, and a family life, and a social life, and a life dedicated to my hobbies and the things I care about, etc etc. There is only so much time I am able to spend on here, and I want to spend that time being happy about the stuff I enjoy. I don't care if you disagree - it is your godgiven right. Mine is not to engage with it.

Now, you might say, there is no way that none of my mutuals ever put something on my dash that I disagree with. And that's true. Sometimes, someone I've come to value as a friend puts something on my dash that makes me go 'bestie wtf is up with you.' Unfortunately for you, I guess, I'm human and there is this thing of 'stuff I will tolerate from my friends and/or people I like, but not from strangers.' I am lucky enough to have made some great friends on here. On top of that, there are some people I have rarely talked to but whom I am fond of anyway. They get some leeway, although that being said, that too has its boundaries.

If I have only followed you a few days ago, though, and you put something on my dash that makes me pull a face, I will unfollow you. Consider yourself important enough that it was so bad, I clicked on your profile to do so. Consider that it wasn't so bad that I actually blocked you.

Now, is this 'fair' in an ethical, equitable sense? No. I nowhere, ever, claimed to be that, while curating my goddamn tumblr feed. I'm not the government. I don't have to be. You don't have to be! You can unfollow, hell, even block people because they reblogged that one post that really raises your hackles. In fact, I do think you will be happier for it.

This is supposed to be fun. if anything about it isn't fun, get rid of it. It's not a debate in congress. It's a barely functioning hellsite about fictional brainrot that doesn't let any of us go, but that we love despite (or, actually, because of) that. Just block me. It's a little bit vindictive and feels great, I promise.

[gem-tavvy]

when are people going to realize that publicly liking/sharing ship content for a story someone likes doesn't mean that's the only thing they got out of it? do you think that if someone doesn't post about something in particular, they just don't know or care about it? do you think that if someone doesn't blog about something it disappears like you're a child with no object permanence?

i like homestuck. i found the themes interesting and the plot and story beats fascinating, and i could probably make a lot of posts analyzing some of it. but also. sometimes i like seeing posts and cute art about some of the homestuck guys in a romantic scenario, because the characters interest me and i just like that kind of content. i haven't forgotten about the story itself, mind you. i just like this one facet, enough so that if i see it on my dashboard, i tend to reblog it.

do you know what i do when i come across art of a ship i don't like, or media i don't like, or analyses i don't like? i either block a tag, or i don't look at it. you want to stop seeing an artist post about ships? block them. it's completely free. won't cost you a cent, and it has the added bonus of, in most cases, not being dickish to people. you curate your own social media experience. you have the ability and autonomy to look at things you want to see and ignore things you don't want to.

i'm making this post because i wanted to express my feelings on the matter. let's be real here. it doesn't matter what kind of excuse you make to make other people feel bad about enjoying ship content. it doesn't matter if you try to make it seem like it makes you a bad person. the act of shipping fictional characters, on its own, harms nobody. not a single soul. not a single living, breathing human being is harmed by it. it's a fun, silly little pastime that people do to get more enjoyment out of something they consume. so you should really just admit what the real purpose is of you trying to talk down to people just enjoying themselves in fandom. you feel entitled. you dislike shipping yourself, and prefer focusing on the themes of stories. but because you feel entitled, you think that what everyone else is doing is wrong, and they should stop doing it because of that.

if you like shipping, go for it! you like analyzing? fuck yeah! you like writing? making art? roleplaying? fucking go for it! media is for enjoyment. plain and simple. so, if you don't like any of those? i suggest you block tags and people as you see fit to make your social media experience as fun as you want it for yourself. stop acting like your way of consuming media is better than anyone else's way.

[desidarling123]

Alright, I'm a little bit new, but listen... I'm a wolfstar stan and I don't see a real reason for this particular drama flare up. First of all, I don't like remadora and I doubt I ever will, but that's personal preference and I don't think the wolfstar fandom thinks there's anything wrong with the remadora fandom. With the reblogs on both sides, it looks like wolfstar fans think remadora fans are accusing wolfstar of being problematic, toxic, and/or abusive, inherently (I don't know the history behind you and op and I'm going to stay out of that as well but I'm talking about the fandom to fandom accusations). And remadora fans think wolfstar fans are accusing them of being homophobic because they don't ship wolfstar? That's not true, like I said, that's personal preference and I agree with what you said about nuance. The homophobic thing is in the context of accusing wolfstar of being problematic. To clarify, it's not that if you don't ship wolfstar you're homophobic, it's that if you think it's problematic while NOT thinking remadora is problematic (because, again, nuance) then that seems pretty homophobic. Anyway, I don't know. Maybe the fandoms just want a reason to be mad at each other and this isn't helping but I just wanted to clarify anyway.

You’re fine, and thank you for hopping into my inbox! Let me smooth the waters as bit -- us folks on the Remadora side are well aware that there are loads of issues with our ship, too (thx 4 nothing, JKR). We talk about it a lot within our community, and I think a healthy amount of critique is something everyone should be open to. 

What’s not been OK (and what I sort of jumped down OP’s throat for, which I understand, to unassuming onlookers would have been very !!!!) has been a recent flouting of what I would call traditional rules of engagement in fandom -- if you dislike something, tag it anti-X, and don’t cross-tag where someone who DOES like the ship might see it. 

Instead, as of late, the Remadora tag here and elsewhere has been FLOODED with accusations of homophobia (fully baseless, as you said) along with loads of general negativity from folks who do not know anything about us or why we enjoy the ship. People who are NOT a part of our community have felt entitled to entering our spaces and harassing us over what we like. 

The point of irritation (that led to the post OP talked about) is that the relentless attacks on our ship have come ALONGSIDE claims that Wolfstar is 100% unproblematic, or a “better alternative”. This feels unfair -- whatever your personal preference, painting one ship as strictly Bad and one as strictly Good is preposterous on face. It also puts us on the defensive -- yet again -- and so of course the counter has been to say, well, if we’re so Bad, what about This Thing About Wolfstar? Or This? (The kicker here being that we STILL manage to tag our critiques appropriately, even if that respect has largely not been returned to us)

It’s not enough for people to not like or be indifferent towards our ship -- instead, some folks have become hell-bent on proving that Remadora is the Beacon of All Things Wrong with fandom. Which is, frankly, exhausting.

OP has been part of that deluge of negativity -- their contribution was a meme  that deliberately misstated the facts of a real case, and spurred further attacks and accusations of homophobia towards our fandom. There’s been other accusations, too, but the homophobia one has struck a personal chord because so many of us ARE, in fact, queer.

They’ve also engaged on a personal and extremely rude level with many of my mutuals (the ‘cyberbullies remadora stans’ in their bio is a nice touch), so when I saw the post on my dash I did get angry. I got angry, because I looked into the very serious accusations his post made, accusations that had made so many of us feel guilty over something (a supposed lawsuit from Hers Truly) that we couldn’t have possibly had any control over -- only to find out they were all bunk, and clearly written to spur more hatred between the two sides.

Also, before I end, I’d just like to clarify: 

I was being snarky in comments to snipe at OP directly, but I have nothing personal against Wolfstar. (I actually have grown to like it quite a bit, despite other drama.) Nor do I think a ship needs to be canon for you to enjoy it -- that’s the whole fun of fandom, of filling in the gaps. Who cares what a renowned TERF has to say about it? Every iteration of these characters and pairings has a right to exist without backlash. You can enjoy Wolfstar and I can enjoy Remadora and we can all stick our🖕 at JKR, because I think both communities have been critical enough of her work and motivations to have reclaimed the ships -- problems and all -- on our own terms.

Anyways! Sorry for such a long post, and thanks for being so polite about it. I hope this clarifies some things from our POV. 

[araekniarchive]

Hey I'm the anon that told you to chill. Look I don't know you and I have nothing against you, in fact I really appreciate what you're doing, but what I saw was an anon ask a question about whether you'd open your requests again, nothing more. I agree with you 100% that it's your say because of course it is, and you gotta prioritize yourself first and foremost. But that anon wasn't being self entitled or anything like that. That's all I have to say, from one stranger to another. Thanks for hearing me out. Peace!

Hi anon, I do appreciate you coming back to explain; I did say in the tags of the initial anon that it might've just been worded badly, but as somebody else replied, when get a short ask like that, especially from an anon, I don't know and can't know what the tone is, I have to interpret it for myself. In that particular case, I read it as somebody not caring that I'm doing this by myself and just wanting to get their request in, without regard for my effort or personal life; while this ask of yours is longer and therefore clearer (to me), your initial follow up just felt like you - a second faceless person who I can't really reply to or explain my reactions to without speaking to every other follower I have, which is ironically what happened the first time and what prompted you to jump in in an attempt to defend another stranger (that again, neither of us know or are 100% certain of the way they were asking) - were dogpiling on top of me. If going out of my way to explain exactly why the first ask upset me had just brought more short, anonymous and vaguely accusatory asks about something I've done or not done - be it not being chill enough with an anon, or keeping my requests closed - then I just decided it was better not to put any effort into responding at all. It's a silly thing, I know it is, but I am a person and I get emotional and upset when I'm treated (or believe I'm being treated) like a slot machine where my only purpose is to churn out content.

[bestworstcase]

hello, i am the anon from before who asked about penny's return. thank you so much for taking a lot of time and effort to give such a comprehensive answer. you're a fantastic writer! i read every word of this, i really did! but... i am part of the penny 3.0 return crowd so... as you might guess, this post gave me some very complicated feelings. i have no idea if i've ever actually believed any of the 3.0 theories, or if it's just that i miss her so much (she was personally important to me) that I can't come to terms with her being gone. shrug. it might just be that i personally don't want my favorite character's arc to end in tragedy and i'd rather make myself feel better by hanging onto some sort of hope, regardless of plausibility, for as long as I can. i want to make it clear I don't think the writers owe me anything, though, because it's their show, not mine. i think maybe your post was a good reality check? i think reading that will make it easier for me if/when the time comes that I have to accept she's just gone for good. sorry for the rambling.

👋 hi anon!

for whatever it’s worth i think it’s very normal and okay and fair to have that kind of reaction when a character we really resonated with dies or even just suffers through hardship—i don’t think there’s anything remotely entitled about just feeling sad and hoping that something that looks like the end isn’t actually. that’s just. part of grieving? wishing it could not have happened? and with fiction there’s this inherent nonreality that means that wish at least has the theoretical potential to be realized, and that makes it in some ways more potent, i think.

and i do get the feeling wrt penny in particular i mean, i am not writing fifteen thousand words about her character arc because she didn’t have a big emotional impact on me dkdsjsh 😭

(my intro to the penny resurrection theory was finishing 8, learning my gf’s sister is all in on the theory, going ??? and scrolling through her whole tag and blogwalking a bit to glut on the theory posts, and finding a. decent chunk of them actually flat out saying the crew has a responsibility to “fix” penny’s death and “make right” the harm done to penny fans by bringing her back, & those sort of posts are specifically what that section of mine is responding to 🥴)

i do think there’s also, yeah, value in being able to step back from it and look at like, the general shape of a story to ask “ok, is there really support for this to happen or am i just hoping really hard?” bc it can be genuinely crushing to get your hopes up about something so much that you end up convinced it’s going to happen only for it to… not, and managing expectations is the best way to avoid doing that to ourselves. (*stares at my other hyperfixation* i have…been there haha 🙃)

(and as facetious as i was being with the ‘try fanfiction’ thing in the behemoth, rly this is exactly what fanfiction is for, exploring alt scenarios where a character gets a different ending or takes a different path, and i think that’s a good avenue to channel these sorts of feelings into, whether by reading or writing.)

[scharoux]

About My Blog...

For the new followers I have received, WELCOME! Please have a read through...

About Me:

I go by SchaRoux • She/Her • Bi • 🇨🇦 • '14 Days of Dragon Age Lovers' event creator • I'm a self taught artist, but I dabble in all kinds of artistic pursuits, such as photography, cake decorating, etc.

You can view my art portfolio HERE.

**DO NOT REPOST MY ART**

Check out my Carrd for Commission Info and Links to my other social media sites.

What you'll find here:

I'm into various fandoms so you'll probably see a variety of different post genres. Mainly my blog is about Dragon Age, as that is what brought me to Tumblr in the first place. I post a lot of art (from myself and other artists) as well as fanfiction. I also occasionally do art giveaway contests and Commissions when time allows. I will very rarely make personal posts, so don't expect too much about my personal or day to day life.

This blog will contain NSFW content, so it is NOT meant for underage followers. 18+ ONLY!

I also post occasionally about but not limited to,

Star Wars

Harry Potter

Mass Effect

Tolkien content

D&D

Austen

Skyrim

I have very varied taste in television, music, movies and games so in general just be prepared to see things other than my personal art and Dragon Age content.

If you're not interested in a particular subject, I try to remember to tag everything so hopefully your filtered tags will help to screen anything. If I've missed a tag, please just point it out and I will happily tag it correctly.

**My NSFW content is tagged as #lemons or #nsf-tumblr**

What you will NOT find here;

I am here to enjoy and share in the fandoms I like. That's it! I will not partake in petty drama of any kind. My family is racially diverse, with various sexual orientations and religious beliefs and I love them all equally.

I firmly believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but that said, you do not HAVE to voice it. If you do not like something I have posted here because it offends your personal lifestyle, please feel free to unfollow and block me.

I will NOT condone or allow any hate or negativity on my blog, which means that I will not hesitate to block anyone who's personal agendas or blogs contain the following;

Homophobia

Transphobia

Racism

Ageism

Fascism

Bullying/Harassment (especially those who partake in campaigns against other bloggers)

Misogynism

Kink-shaming

I try to be as respectful to different cultures and sexual orientations as possible, so if you see something that is insensitive or not respectful PLEASE TELL ME and I will remove or remedy it immediately. That said, if I post about a particular subject that you're just not interested in, please just keep scrolling. This is MY blog and you can post whatever you'd like on your own blog.

Ship-shaming

Fandom policing

Head-canon fascists

That about sums up my blog! Stay for the art + fandoms and please leave any negativity at the door!

[swiftbejeweled]

because of that buzzfeed article I've seen a several posts today targeting tumblr shippers and I'm honestly confused - if you're (not you in particular, just anyone i mean) going to ship, isn't tumblr one of the better places to do that since its more private? Why so much negativity against shippers on here then? It's not like they're the ones tweeting and commenting on vm's posts

I didn’t want to answer this last night because it was late when I finished the gifset and I didn’t have the mental capacity to tackle this lol.

Tumblr probably is the best place, but just because we’re on Tumblr doesn’t mean we’re invisible. Our words are all out there in the world to see, they’re just harder to find if they’re not tagged. And it also doesn’t mean that there’s no overlap. Maybe some of the people here are the ones tweeting and commenting on VM’s posts (well Tessa’s lol). I frequent Twitter every day, but I only tweet or retweet very occasionally. This is obviously my main site. 

The problem is the degrees of shippers. I often say ‘non-shippers’, but I think a few of those people would actually consider themselves shippers to a lesser extent. It’s about the people who spout speculation as fact. Because god knows we’ve all been getting a shit ton of ‘THIS IS A FACT’ in our inboxes recently when…nope. It’s speculation. 100% speculation. And a step up from that level becomes delusion and conspiracy theories. There is certainly a difference between harmless shipping and toxic shipping. There’s a difference between appreciation and entitlement. There’s also a middle ground in all of these things.

Shipping is supposed to be fun. It’s supposed to bring joy. That’s what it’s born from. A love of something that takes over that you have to talk about it and participate in a fandom and find like-minded people. If it gets to the point where people are actually having fits over whether they spend time together or spent time with other people - they truly need to take a step back and find a way to make it healthy and fun again. Or just move on.

There’s an intermingling hostility in this fandom because of its small size and people’s different approaches to things. Some people are never going to agree with one another. There are definitely people I follow who I don’t agree with their tactics or methods. I think there are some issues with people staying in their own lane. But I also understand how people can get riled up when people seem to worship bloggers who they might personally think handle things in a bad way.

It’s all about the way you choose to ship and how that affects your behaviour really. Some people look down on shippers a little too much, I’ve sometimes felt shamed for being in my optimistic bubble (not directly, just from comments on my dash), but some people also need to consider the line between fact and fiction and how they present their opinions.