#the orange spaghetti saga

[duckapus]

A Slice of Orange Regret

Some of the crew is hanging out in the castle foyer as usual, when Meggy trudges in, a haunted look in her eyes and some sort of poster in her hands. Tari's the first to notice her.

"Hey, Meggy! Are you...okay?"

Meggy doesn't answer at first, which draws the attention of the rest of the room, "...I messed up. I messed up real bad."

"What do you mean?"

"You know how Mario's been trying to recreate that orange spaghetti Domain and I made?"

There's a scattering of gestures and noises of general acknowledgement, a few of them a bit annoyed. It had been a bit hard to miss, given how obsessed and desperate he'd been getting, and more than a few of them had gotten caught in the crossfire of his more chaotic attempts, especially recently. And with Mario being who he is, it isn't likely that he'll be stopping his crusade for the perfect spaghetti any time soon, no matter how much some may have wanted him to.

"Well, the other day I was grabbing lunch with Desti and we ended up talking about it, and-and I wasn't thinking about where we were or who would overhear even though I really should have, and now..." she trails off and stares down at the floor, holding out the poster for someone to take.

Bob's the one to grab it, and when he sees what's on it his eyes bulge out in shock, "Sweet holy tits, you're completely fucked."

She lets out a pained whimper, and the rest of the crew crowds in to see what it says for themselves. There's several shocked gasps, a nervous 'mama-mia' from Luigi, and Saiko even clasps at her chest and says some things under her breath that go untranslated.

Finally, the poster is revealed in full...as an advertisement for a new Orange Pizza at Peppino's Pizza.

Anyone who knows both men is aware that, despite their friendship when off-the-clock, when it comes to food Mario "Jumpman" Mario and Peppino Spaghetti are bitter rivals, always seeking to one-up one another and claim the Mushroom Kingdom as their pizza restaurant's turf and theirs alone. Of course this would be how the eternally anxious pizza chef reacted to hearing about Mario's struggles with his signature food. And this was Peppino, so there was no way he'd ever be willing to tell anyone, especially Mario, how exactly he pulled it off.

Finding out that his culinary arch-enemy had accomplished what he could not no matter how hard he tried would be bad enough, but finding out that his closest friend was partially to blame for it?

SMG4 is the first to recover, shuddering at the possibilities before grinning nervously, "N-now let's not be too hasty guys. Maybe it's not exactly the right orange. I mean, restaurants make their food look better on ads and menus all the time!"

Meggy shakes her head, eyes still vacant, "Already tried it. It was just as good and orange as the spaghetti." She sighs the sigh of the damned before finally looking up again, "I have to tell him."

"Are you nuts!?" 3 grabs her by the shoulders, "Do you have any idea just how pissed he's gonna be!?"

"Well, it'll be worse if I try to hide it and he finds out himself! And that will happen, you know as well as I do there's no way to keep this from him forever." She brushes him off and starts pacing, "Look, I already texted him to come over so we could talk, he'll be here any minute, I just needed to tell you guys first to psyche myself up."

They all look around at each other nervously, then Saiko gets up, "I'll start planning the funeral."

Meggy deadpans at her, "thanks for the vote of confidence."

It's at this point that Mario bursts in, his usual stupid grin on his face, "WADDUP, PARTY PEOPLE!"

There's some scattered greetings which sound a bit nervous rather than annoyed like usual, but he doesn't notice the difference. He also doesn't notice Meggy snatching the ad back from Bob.

He hops over to Meggy, "So, you needed to talk to Mario?"

She very decidedly does not gulp in terror, thank you, "Y-yeah, uh, 4? Could we use the game room for this."

"Sure thing." As they head that way, he frantically mouths 'soundproof' to Emulator. She gets what he means and does so, reinforcing the room with Invisible Walls as well for good measure.

They enter the room, the door left slightly open for now to gauge what might be happening, and after a minute or so Lily speaks up, "maybe he's taking it well?"

This, of course, is when Mario shouts "YOU DID WHAT!?", voice rapidly taking on an eldritch echoey quality as an eerie red glow appears through the doorway-

Tari, being the closest, quickly shuts the door the rest of the way so Emmy's protections can actually...well, protect them, "That's a no, I think."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Everyone else had gone back to what they'd been doing before, albeit now with a tense atmosphere and the occasional nervous glance at the game room.

A few hours in, Lil Coding's the first to address it, "Do you think they're done yet?"

"Let me check," Tari gets up and opens the door a bit to-

"-THEN REDIRECT PIPE 43-B TO THE WELL OF DAMNED SOULS AND FLUSH THE SYSTEM-"

-she slams it shut again just as the air starts to ripple around her, "Nope."

"Were those some kind of demonic plumbing instructions?"

Luigi shrugged, "Yeah, we've actually been studying to finally renew our plumbing licenses now that our lives and his sanity are somewhat stable again."

"And that involves damned souls?"

"Have you seen what the sewers are like in the Mushroom Kingdom? Plumbing around here isn't just clogged toilets and leaky faucets."

"Fair enough."

Boopkins lets out a nervous whine, "This is kind of overboard even for Mario, isn't it? I mean, Meggy just made a mistake."

3 juts his thumb towards the door, "hey, you wanna go in there and try telling him that, be my guest."

"-IF THE BLOOD OF THE INNOCENT OR DRAIN-O AREN'T AVAILABLE, MARINARA SAUCE WILL SUFFICE-"

Everyone looks over at Tari.

"Sorry! I figured it would be a good idea to check in every few minutes in case anything changes."

They all settle into the nerve-wracking, now slightly painful for their mortal minds routine for another 30 minutes or so, until finally...

"-AND STRANGLE THEM WITH A PAPAIA!"

The eldritch shouting and reality warping and red glow die down, and after a long few seconds Mario stomps out of the room in his Baked color scheme, each footstep leaving a glowing red boot-print that quickly dims to a scorch mark.

"I need to cool off. Do not follow me." His voice, while no longer as loud, is still just as intense, and everyone gives him a wide berth as he leaves.

Meggy's the next to come out, clearly exhausted and emotionally wrung-out but unharmed and un-"The-Abyss-Stared-Into-Me-And-Found-Me-Wanting." Tari pulls her into a side hug in case she loses her footing.

Her voice is small and shaky when she finally says something, "Well, he took that better than I expected."

[fiftytwotwentythree]

Wellness Wednesday:

Making Core Memories

This entire week has been a countdown to some quality family time.

I've had effing blast and honestly didn't have single disappointment or setback.

Things went as plan - things were loose and chill. I may have lost a little sleep but it was well worth it.

Oh, and... I broke the plateau and finally surpassed 80 pound mark - just the cherry on top for the this entire week.

.

.

31st CHECK-IN:

Current Goals:

Lose 52 lbs

Completed as of 4/12/2023

New Goal: Maintain or Continue on The Weight Loss Path

Avoid "Junk Food"

Minimize Take-Out / Fast Food Consumption

Short Term:

Vegetarian-ish Diet: Completed

End Date: 4/09/2023 - 46 Days Total

.

.

Stats from July:

Food:

Oranges: 34

Salads: 28

"Bags" of Popcorn: 26

Leftover Meals: 16

Cans of Soup: 3

Take Out: 0

Candy/Sweets: 0

Workout:

Jumping Jacks: 6,200

Push-Ups: 3,100

Glute Bridges: 3,100

Assisted Push-Ups: 3,100

Reverse Leg Lifts: 1,550

Leg Kickbacks: 1,450

Sit-Ups: 1,500

Plank (mins): 80

Squats: 0

Weight Loss:

Weightloss This Month: -3.6 lbs

Average Weightloss per Week: -0.9 lbs

Total Weightloss: -80.8 lbs

Entertainment:

Movies Watched: 19

Favorite from the Month:

Barbie

Hours of Television Watched: ~ 17 hours

( Crime Scene Kitchen, The Bear, The Righteous Gemstones, I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson, Adam Eats the 80's)

Reading

Books:

Books Completed This Month: 0

Book Title(s) Completed This Month: -n/a-

Book Total for the Year: 2

Comics:

Comics Completed: 2

Trades Completed: 15

Comic/Trade Titles Completed:

Flashpoint

The Last Ronin

Doom Patrol (2016-2018) Vol 1: Brick by Brick

Chew Vol 1: Taster's Choice

The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl Vol 2: Squirrel You Know It's True (2015)

Rick and Morty Vol 1

Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe

Fantastic Four (1961) Issue #1

Incredible Hulk (1962) Issue #2

Paper Girls Vol 1

Bitch Planet Vol1: Extraordinary Machine

Umbrella Academy Vol 2: Dallas

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The IDW Collection Vol 1

All-Star Superman

Batman '89 (2021)

All New X-Men Vol 1: Yesterday's X-Men

X-Men: Dark Phoenix Saga The Complete Collection (Uncanny X-Men (1963-2011))

Favorite Comic/Trade Read:

The Last Ronin

Magazine(s):

Magazine(s) Completed: 0

.

.

Meal Tracker:

THURSDAY

Lunch:

Bowl of Progresso Tomato Basil Soup

- 10 Crackers

(1) Grilled Cheese Sandwich

Snack:

Serving of Blue Diamond Almonds

Bag of Orville Redenbacher Ultimate Butter Popcorn

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

Supper:

Large Plate of Dirty Rice mixed with Dice Hashbrowns & Peppers

- Wild Rice

- Italian Sausage

- Onions

- Celery

- Carrots

- Kidney Beans

- Steak Seasoning

- Cumin

- Chicken Broth

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

FRIDAY

Lunch:

Large Leftover Plate of Dirty Rice

(2) Servings of Blue Diamond Almonds

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

Supper:

Large Leftover Plate of Dirty Rice

- Fried Egg

- Diced Hasbrowns with Peppers

Burrito

- Dirty Rice

- Diced Hasbrowns with Peppers

- (Runny) Fried Egg

- Roasted Red Salsa

- Sour Cream

- Cholula Hot Sauce

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

SATURDAY

Lunch:

StarKist Ranch Flavored Tuna on a Croissant with (2) Slices of Pepperjack Cheese

Great Value Teriyaki Tuna & Rice Bowl

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

Snack:

Bag of Smartfood's White Cheddar Popcorn

Bag of Orville Redenbacher Ultimate Butter Popcorn

Supper:

Large Plate of Spaghetti

- Parmesan Cheese

(3) Scoops of Cottage Cheese

(6) Scoops of Green Beans

(2) Garlic Parmesan Rolls

(2) Glasses of Chocolate Milk

SUNDAY

Lunch:

Bowl of Cesaer Salad with Croutons

(2) Scoops of Cottage Cheese

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

Snack:

Serving of Blue Diamond Almonds

Bag of BBQ Corn Nuts

Individual Bag of Wonderful's Shelled Sweet Chili Pistachios

Bag of Orville Redenbacher Ultimate Butter Popcorn

Supper:

Bowl of Leftover Cesaer Salad with Croutons

(2) Scoops of Cottage Cheese

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

(2) Small Oranges

MONDAY

Lunch:

Cobb Salad

Snack:

Serving of Blue Diamond Almonds

Supper:

Santa Fe Style Salad

(2) Small Oranges

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

TUESDAY

Lunch:

Chef Salad

Serving of Blue Diamond Almonds

Supper:

Spinach Dijon Salad

(2) Oranges

WEDNESDAY

Lunch:

(4oz) Bag of Sahale Snacks Pomegranate Vanilla Flavored Cashews Glazed Mix

(4oz) Bag of Sahale Snacks Pomegranate Flavored Pistachios Glazed Mix

Supper:

(4) Oven Baked Ham, Pastrami, Corn Beef, and Pepperjack Cheese Sliders

(2) Small Oranges

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

.

.

Workouts:

THURSDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(5 min) Planks [5 Sets of 1 min]

FRIDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(100) Sit-Ups [5 Sets of 20]

SATURDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(5 min) Planks [5 Sets of 1 min]

SUNDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(100) Sit-Ups [5 Sets of 20]

MONDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(5 min) Planks [5 Sets of 1 min]

TUESDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [5 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 set of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(100) Sit-Ups [5 Sets of 20]

WEDNESDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges[4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 Sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(5 min) Planks [5 Sets of 1 min]

.

.

WEIGHT TRACKER:

Starting Weight (Noon, 1/01/2023): XXX.X lbs

Weight at Last Check-In, 7/26/2023: -0.4 lbs

Weight As of Noon, 8/02/2023: -2.4 lbs

Total Weight Loss: -80.8 lbs

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.

Closing Thoughts:

The Good:

Had a blast hanging with family.

Saw a great movie.

Got play some old and new, but all fun video games.

Broke 80 pounds.

The Bad:

If I had to make a complaint... I couldn't. This week was very chill.

The Ugly:

Nada.

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

014 of 2024

There's no such thing as fate. Stars are not what we think they are. Milk chocolate is better than dark. There is no such thing as good or bad. True love exists. Summer is better than winter. Any weather is good hiking weather. Weather extremes build character. Sparkling water tastes terrible. people with depression can fully recover without medication. Onesie pajamas can be worn to the store. Mountain Dew tastes like shit. The ocean is terrifying. Some universes like Star Wars or Harry Potter shouldn't be getting new content or sagas. Height really does not matter. Spaghetti is the best shape of noodle. Canoeing is best done on water. Glaciers are terrifying. Scar is the best part of The Lion King. Heathcliff was the hero in Wuthering Heights. Music is very important. Most art is a joke anymore. Sleep is overrated. Swimming is not enjoyable. Orange is the ugliest color. Pluto is a planet. Brow make up is stupid. Teeth whitening is stupid. Twilight Princess is the best LoZ game. Birds are gross. Water tastes good. Money is no good. American cheese doesn't count as cheese. Texting is better than calling.

[city-witch-magix]

Yule, the Winter Solstice

Begins on Winter Solstice and lasts 12 days (Winter Solstice is the shortest day of the year, December 21st) 

Focuses on rebirth and renewal as the sun makes it way back to the earth. New beginnings with magical workings and welcome light and warmth into your home 

History: There are many variations of yule throughout the world. The Norse people celebrated Jul and viewed it as a time for feasting and merrymaking. Icelandic sagas believed it was a time of sacrifice. The Yule log, decorated Christmas tree, and wassailing can be traced back to the Norse people. Little is known of what the Celts did as celebration but it is said they sacrificed a white bull and gathered mistletoe in celebration. The Romans had a week long party full of merrymaking and debauchery that involved gift-giving, sacrifice, special privileges for slaves, and feasting. Ancient Egyptians celebrated the sun daily until they realized the cooler weather and cycle of life coincided. 

Decorate your altar with blues, silvers, reds, greens, and whites for the season. The reds help with chakra work because it is associated with chakra root. White helps focus on purifying. Gold can also be incorporated because it is associated with the sun and coincides with Yule. 

Symbols of Yule include gold discs, yellow candles, anything bright and shiny, a large pillar candle with solar symbols, evergreen boughs, sprigs of holly, pinecones, Yule log, Santa Claus, Antlers/reindeer, fruits (fresh apples/oranges), nuts (walnuts, pecans, hazelnuts), snowflakes, icicles, bowl of snow, candy canes, bells, and sunwheels 

Prayer to the Earth- Cold and dark, this time of year, the earth lies dormant, awaiting the return of the sun, and with it, life. Far beneath the frozen surface, a heartbeat waits, until the moment is right, to spring.

Yule Sunrise Prayer- The sun returns! The light returns! The earth begins to warm once more! The time of darkness has passed, and a path of light begins the new day. Welcome, welcome, the heat of the sun, blessing us all with its rays.

Yule Sunset Prayer- The longest night has come once more, the sun has set, and darkness fallen. The trees are bare, the earth asleep, and the skies are cold and black. Yet tonight we rejoice, in this longest night, embracing the darkness that enfolds us. We welcome the night and all that it holds, as the light of the stars shines down.

Prayer to the Winter Goddess- O! Mighty goddess, in silvery ice, watching over us as we sleep, a layer of shining white, covering the earth each night, frost on the world and in the soul, we thank you for visiting us. Because of you, we seek warmth in the comfort of our homes and hearths.

Prayer for Counting Blessing- I am grateful for that which I have. I am not sorrowful for that which I do not. I have more than others, less than some, but regardless, I am blessed with what is mine. [If you have a set of pagan prayer beads or a witch's ladder, count off each bead or knot, and consider the things you are thankful for, like so:] First, I am thankful for my health. Second, I am thankful for my family. Third, I am thankful for my warm home. Fourth, I am thankful for the abundance in my life. [Continue counting off your blessings until you have thought of all of the things that enrich your life and the lives of those around you.]

Prayer for the Beginning of Winter- See the gray skies overhead, preparing the way for the bright sun soon to come. See the gray skies overhead, preparing the way, for the world to awake once more. See the gray skies overhead, preparing the way for the longest night of the year. See the gray skies overhead, preparing the way for the sun to finally return, bringing with it light and warmth.

Nordic Yule Prayer- Beneath the tree of light and life, a blessing at this season of Yule! To all that sit at my hearth, today we are brothers, we are family, and I drink to your health! Today we do not fight, We bear no one ill will. Today is a day to offer hospitality to all that cross my threshold in the name of the season.

Snow Prayer- From the reaches of the north, a place of cold blue beauty, comes to us the first winter storm. Wind whipping, flakes flying, the snow has fallen upon the earth, keeping us close, keeping us together, wrapped up as everything sleeps beneath a blanket of white.

Prayer to Old Gods- The Holly King is gone, and the  Oak King reigns— Yule is the time of the  old winter gods! Hail to Baldur! To Saturn! To  Odin! Hail to Amaterasu! To Demeter! Hail to Ra! To Horus! Hail to Frigga, Minerva Sulis and Cailleach Bheur! It is their season, and high in the heavens, may they grant us their blessings this winter day.

Celtic Yule Blessing- The food is put away for the winter, the crops are set aside to feed us, the cattle are come down from their fields, and the sheep are in from the pasture. The land is cold, the sea is stormy, the sky is gray. The nights are dark, but we have our family, kin and clan around the hearth, staying warm in the midst of darkness, our spirit and love a flame, a beacon burning brightly in the night.

Elemental Prayer- As the earth grows colder, the winds blow faster, the fire dwindles smaller, and the rains fall harder, let the light of the sun find its way home.

Prayer to the Sun Gods- Great sun, wheel of fire, sun god in your glory, hear me as I honor you on this, the shortest day of the year. Summer has gone, passed us by, the fields are dead and cold, all of earth sleeps in your absence. Even in the darkest times, you light the way for those who need a beacon, of hope, of brightness, shining in the night. Winter is here, and colder days coming, the fields are bare and the livestock thin. We light these candles in your honor, that you might gather your strength and bring life back to the world. O mighty sun above us, we ask you to return, to bring back to us the light and the warmth of your fire. Bring life back to earth. Bring light back to earth. Hail the sun!

Some recipes: https://www.learnreligions.com/yule-cooking-and-recipes-2562933 (Yule Plum Pudding, Savory Sun King Soup, Baked Spaghetti Squash, Sunshine Skillet Casserole, Divine Yule Peppermint Fudge, Chocolate Yule Log, Wassail, and Hot Buttered Rum)

Source: https://www.learnreligions.com/all-about-yule-2562972

[thewoodbine]

Hey I hope you're having a good day! How are kittens are doing?

Hi! Theyre doing great! One of them (a little grey tabby girl we are calling Rotini) has a little bit of blood on her gums and she is holding her mouth weird and won't let us touch it so I'm going to take her to the shelter's vet today to look at it. We suspect she just cut it on a piece of food or chewing on something hard- but we want to make sure. Other than this mornings hiccup things have been great! They've been a handful for sure but worth it.

We really love being foster pet parents! I cant wait to write up little note cards for each of them for the shelter to put on their cage so they can go to the right homes! For example, Spaghetti (orange tabby) is very outgoing, affectionate, and social but he causes the most trouble by far- would be great in a home with kids or dogs. Rotini (tiny grey) is a shy baby but a massive snuggle bug, would be best for someone who lives in a quiet home and needs a lap companion. Gnocchi (bigger grey, a real looker) is a loner and loves to eat, best for someone who wants the company of a cat but doesnt want to constantly deal with them.

Obviously I'll flower up the cards but thats the gist so far.

Thank you for checking in! Have some photos! 💕

The Seamonkey Saga Continues.

[courtneyalexandramulvay-blog]

13.10.17

Sitting at a café overheard a meeting where someone said “I feel like all current art is fake”

Received text message from my ex boyfriend today of a photo of a bunch of flowers he had arranged himself in a vase

Last time we spoke was him sending me a message that said “I guess I lost everything in the divorce huh”, with no reply back from me

What is this trend I have set where my ex-lovers send me photos of self-arranged bouquets?

I received another one about two weeks ago of some very tall kangaroo paws in a glass

I guess I taught them about formal flower arrangements without realising

I’ve always thought I’d make a wonderful florist anyway so that makes sense I guess

Uh oh. My cappuccino just hit me and now I feel insane

Eating a chermoula chicken salad with hummus AND feta the only thing that could take this to the next level for me is a lil bit of pesto, right

I want to go to the beach! I want to go to the beach! I want to go to the beach!

My favourite story about my friend Jemma is that once she was so hungover and playing Mario Kart and she started crying when they were in the water world because she wanted to go to the beach that badly

I feel like some people believe that hummus and feta can’t be friends and this salad proves all those people wrong

Just like people that think you can’t wear orange and pink together

You can

Level of cool I want to reach today: Rose McGowan

Text message I just received from my grandma: “Mum sent me your writings. It is brilliant and shocking didn’t know you had to put up with such things. It is beyond words. Love you see you soon Grandma”

Definitely the coolest/best/most inspiring message I’ve received yet in response to writing about Harvey Weinstein saga/bullshit

My grandma is the last person I would think to be addicted to the Bachelorette but I talked to her on the phone last night and she is 100% addicted to the Bachelorette but she knows its fucked up so that’s okay

Feel like I won’t know the true meaning of home until I go to Scotland with my grandma

Trying to think of interesting things to write about and thought “what are some fucked up things that happened in my childhood?”

Don’t know if am stable enough to unlock that vault today

Kinda scared of being stoned again after last night

Things I ate last night:

Two-three bowls of green chicken curry, delicious, cooked by me

~half an icecream cake from coles with marshmellows and freddos on top

~half a block of smartie chocolate

two (big) pieces of Turkish delight chocolate

A guy I had sex with when I was ~15 at a Halloween party in freo just walked past me, didn’t recognise me, probably because I wasn’t dressed as a zombie bride

Remember waking up after having sex with him at my dads house in my step sisters bed, don’t know how we got home or how he got there or why he wanted to be there, woke up with zombie makeup still on, still drunk, put on my step mums black maxi dress and walked him outside and watched him walk down the street, that would be the last time I would ever see him until right now, 7 years later, sitting at a weird café with my dog and my laptop

Would he have recognised me if I was dressed like a zombie bride?

Am going out to dinner tonight with a guy I used to sleep with that may or may not have undiagnosed schizophrenia

He has told me a lot of crazy things but maybe the craziest thing he’s ever told me if that once he felt like painting his whole bedroom (granny flat out the back of his parent’s house) red so he just did it he went and bought red paint and a paintbrush and he did it he didn’t buy a roller and do it properly he just had a big paintbrush so now his whole room is bright red and splotchy and there are large and random brushstrokes it looks like a 5-8 year old painted it, it’s not a very condusive environment to have sex in

The best thing about having sex with him was that we’re on the same anti-anxiety medication so when I would sleep over and forget my medication (I was usually/always drunk when I went there) I could just take his

One of my following boyfriends was also on the same medication but used to get narky when I asked to borrow (take) it

Its actually the same guy that sent me a photo of his sad bunch of flowers today

He used to take 10mg and I take 20mg so if I had to borrow his medication I had to take 2 tablets, which I think used to make him feel anxious

More anxious

But whatever I made him dinner every night for a year and a half and the only thing he (ever) cooked me was an okay lentil soup when I was sick once

It was actually pretty good lentil soup which just angered me more because he proved he obviously could cook he just chooses not to

Because he knows I will just do it

Even though he is unemployed and sits at home wanking or on instagram or wanking while on instagram (or whatever, I literally don’t know what he did during the day) while I worked ~13 hours at a very stressful job and then came home and then walked the dog and then went to the shops and bought ingredients for dinner then cooked dinner while he sat there, still on Instagram, still wanking

I won’t do that again

He also threw my entire CD collection away one day when I was at work because “I never listen to them anyway”

Food related tattoos I could get:

Hummus

Pesto

Quesadilla

Burrito

Tortilla

Spaghetti Bolognese

Dumplings

The boy I had sex with dressed as a zombie just walked into an op shop across the road, day dreaming about what would happen if I walked in and followed him around, not overtly but subtly

Pretending I was looking for a zombie costume

I should definitely get a tattoo of spaghetti Bolognese

Hate it when I think I’ve written a hilarious text message so I copy and paste it and send it to like 4 people and no one replies

Just ordered a second cappuccino so shit is about to get real

My phone is on 4% battery and I feel free

Feel so lucky I have so many cool girl friends all over the world in all different places all doing different dope stuff

When me and my sisters were little and we had to stay at my grandparent’s house (on my dad’s side) they would make us eat like 5 slices of butter on toast and drink milo in bed before we even got up and then for breakfast we would have to eat like a million hashbrowns and bacon and sausages and more butter on toast, what the fuck, who feeds children that

I guess they were brought up post-war when no one had anything, my grandpa (who wouldn’t let us call him grandpa, first names only) still ate lard on toast for a really long time

I wonder if he still does

He also didn’t let my grandma drive, ever, he told her she was too stupid to drive, he said it so many times that she convinced herself she was stupid, too stupid to do anything except cook and clean and definitely too stupid to stand up to him ever

Brainwashed

He also screamed at me any time I shut a car door that I was slamming it

My mum told me the other day that he had a serious problem with noise

That any type of noise really irritated him

And she always found that odd Also, whenever he would see an Asian person driving, he would get really aggressive and call them a “monkey”

He hated anyone that wasn’t white

He hated women

He hated gay people

No wonder my dad is so fucked up

Once when I was a kid I dreamt there was a terrorist attack at their house and there were bombs going off everywhere

I used to be terrified of natural disasters and would have recurring dreams about tsunamis and bushfires

The worst dream I ever had though was when I died from eating a poisonous ham sandwich from a man selling them out of a trolley in IGA

He wasn’t a part of IGA

He was his own separate business entirely

I don’t know if you would call it a business

It was pretty low key

[duckapus]

*sometime after this happened, most of the crew is hanging out at the Showgrounds*

Mario: MEGGYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!! *comes barreling in and collapses at her feet in his SM64 crawling pose with the sad pleading eyes* Please please pleeeeeease make Mario your orange spaghetti!

Meggy: Wh- how did you find out about that!?

Mario: *hops back onto his feet* IRRELEVENT! *starts aggressively breakdancing* Where's my spaghetti? Where's my spaghetti? Where-

SMG4: *smacks him* Calm down already! Now, what's going on?

Mario: Domain and Meggy made the best spaghetti in the WORLD and Mario didn't get to have any! *grabs him by the shoulders and pulls him in to the point their noses are touching (so not really that close given the size of Mario's* I NEEEEEEEEEED IIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!

Meggy: Red...I can't make it again. The fact that we managed it at all was some kind of cosmic fluke.

Mario: *immediately calms down and drops the now thoroughly deflated 4* Yeah, that's what Domain said too. Welp, time for Plan B.

Meggy: What's Plan B?

Mario: Mario's gonna make his own Orange Spaghetti! *starts pacing* Let's see, I'm-a gonna need E-Gadd's lab...probably Bowser, he's a good cook...Whimpu, definitely Whimpu.

Meggy: Why Whimpu?

Mario: He has a degree in chemical engineering.

SMG3: Since when?

Mario: *looks at him like he's grown a second head* Since...always? The first thing he ever did on screen was chemistry. When he was auditioning for your play. Remember?

SMG3: *has the decency to look sheepish* Ah...I didn't really...pay much attention to the auditions? He was a pink-haired anime character who seemed like Saiko would be insulted to be compared to and that was good enough for me at the time considering the whole...mocking all of you aspect.

Mario: ...Yeah that fits. Anyway! I'm off to make lots-a spaghetti! *t-poses and starts spinning like a helicopter blade, flying away while making his usual airplane noise*

SMG3: ...Well that happened.

[duckapus]

Mario and the Spaghetti Revival

Mario returns to the ruins of the old Tubby Spaghetti Factory alongside Meggy and the Guards in yet another desperate attempt to discover the secret to creating Orange Spaghetti, only to find that a dark splinter group of Toadsworth's Flying Spaghetti Monster cult has set up shop there and is creating horrific Black Spaghetti monsters in an attempt to recreate and control their God so they can take over the world. So now they're dealing with that.

Two of these monsters happen to be resurrected, mutated forms of familiar faces, namely the factory's owner and the Guards' former boss Tubby Wonka (who's none-too-pleased to see those morons again and is siding with the cult), and the old mascot Bendy the Ink Demon (who is happy to see that Mario is still doing well after Bendy sacrificed himself to save him from the spaghetti flood of 2017, and sides with the good guys).

[duckapus]

Orange you mad it's not?

As you might expect, Mario, Bowser and Whimpu don't manage to make Orange Spaghetti on their first attempt...or their hundredth. Still, while most of the results are just general failures, there are a few Interesting ones in there. Here's a few of the highlights!

Attempt 1: "Green?"

The three men look down at the plates in front of them with open disgust, and with good reason; they happen to be covered in horrible heaps of greenish-grey garbage that could just barely pass as spaghetti. Whimpu's is even pulsing somehow.

Mario manages a ghost of a pained grin, "Maybe it tastes better than it looks...or smells?"

The other two are unconvinced, but Whimpu sighs and picks up his "spaghetti" anyway, "Sometimes sacrifices must be made in the pursuit of science, my friends."

With great reluctance, the three wolf down their creations...and freeze up with a glass shattering sound-effect, eyes bulging in horror, before ragdolling out of their chairs with the stock flatlining sound.

------------------

Attempt 14: Yellow

After several duds, they've actually managed to create a spaghetti from the concept of a color...though not the right one. Mario and Whimpu are recovering from their previous batch, which Bowser handled fine thanks to his Koopa physiology, so now he's taking one for the team.

He gulps it down, and for a few moments actually seems to be enjoying it...before his eyes fill with tears and he practically inhales his own muzzle "It'th...Ttttthhhhooooowwwweeeerrrrrrr."

----------------

Attempt 36: Red

Mario and Whimpu are seen screaming and on fire, while Bowser calmly eats his sample with no issue, "Wimps."

---------------

Attempt 69: Purple

Drug Trip. That's all I'm sayin'.

----------------

Attempt 88: Blue

They're all pretty nervous by this point, but when they try it they're pleasantly surprised, "Hey...that's pretty good."

...And then the other shoe drops and each one is suddenly engulfed in a cloud of blue smoke, and when it clears Bowser has become Bowsette, Mario has become Lyra (the Heartgold/Soulsilver female Trainer design), and Whimpu has become an...actually reasonable and well-thought-out genderbent version of himself. "Lyra" and Bowsette start screaming and flailing around in horror, while Whimpu looks fairly unbothered, and actually discreetly pockets the recipe.

--------------

Attempt 105: ...orange

Well, technically it is orange. But it's very clearly not orange orange. And it honestly tastes kind of mediocre. Mario understandably ends up ragequitting for the day after that.

[duckapus]

The Orange Spaghetti Incident

It all starts, as many terrible things do, with Meggy and Domain in the castle kitchen. Apparently Meggy has an idea for how they might potentially actually cook something edible for once.

"Couldn't we just take a cooking class or something?"

"They all banned me already." She shrugs, "Look, just hear me out. I've noticed something interesting about our...issues. It seems like the harder we try to make something good, the worse the results are, sometimes to reality warping levels."

"That is why I'm worried, yes."

"So I thought; what if we purposely try to cook as badly as possible?"

"That...huh. So we'd basically be using reverse psychology on our own meme energy?" It should be noted that, while Domain is technically the most sensible of the hologram trio, he's also a former odd-number SMG, and has retained some of his more chaotic tendencies, "It sounds just crazy enough to work. Alright, I'm in."

"Great! Let's get started!" She starts digging through the fridge, "Now, what in here's expired..."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

*2 hours and several bad decisions later...*

The kitchen now resembles a cross between a garbage dump and a warzone. Meggy and Domain sit in the middle of the carnage, staring down at their creation.

"They're..."

"Orange. Like, orange orange."

Sitting on the counter in front of them are two plates of spaghetti, and indeed they are orange. But not merely colored orange, no, they seem to be the very concept of Orange made physical and molded into the shape of two of those standard spaghetti plate props. They look at each other nervously.

"Well...we've come this far."

The two simultaneously pick up one of the plates and, with some hesitation, eat them.

*THOOM!*

Sitting dazed and covered in soot in the resulting crater, they look at each other once again.

"..."

"..."

"That was..."

"Amazing."

"God yes! It was literally the best spaghetti I've ever had!"

Of course, it's at this point that they realize something very important. They made an impossibly good batch of spaghetti, possibly the best spaghetti...and will likely never be able to make it again since they were relying on Rule of Funny for it to work at all, and were deliberately not paying attention to what they were doing (since they were actively cooking as badly as possible) so they don't know the recipe.

And they just so happen to know someone who is absolutely obsessed with spaghetti and would be livid if he found out he didn't get to eat the Best Spaghetti Ever.

"...We can never let Mario find out what we've done."

"Agreed."

[duckapus]

Mario Goes to Costco to Purchase an Obscene Amount of Spaghetti Noodles

Figuring out how to make Orange Spaghetti has been even more difficult than Mario thought it would be, so he needs a lot of ingredients for his continuing experiments, especially the noodles. To that end, he's headed to Costco to buy them in bulk. Of course, this is SMG4, so nothing is ever that simple.

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

410 of 2023

Some universes like Star Wars or Harry Potter shouldn't be getting new content or sagas. Height really does not matter. Spaghetti is the best shape of noodle. Canoeing is best done on water. Glaciers are terrifying. Scar is the best part of The Lion King. Heathcliff was the hero in Wuthering Heights. Music is very important. Most art is a joke anymore. Sleep is overrated. Swimming is not enjoyable. Orange is the ugliest color. Pluto is a planet. Brow makeup is stupid. Teeth whitening is stupid. Twilight Princess is the best LoZ game. Pizza is overrated. Birds are gross. Water tastes good. Hotdogs should never be grated. Money is no good. Pineapple does not go on pizza. Meat is better rare. American cheese doesn't count as cheese. Texting is better than calling. Oranges are tasty. Tomatoes are gross. Gollum is adorable. Everyone is selfish.