#the portrait is kinda huge so i put it under a cut to try and save some space...

[crowdsourcedloner]

~close up portrait under the cut~

[junkissed]

for the made up fic title thing: what about…. “such haunted halls we walk” 👀

or if you want something silly: “i put the ‘ass’ in ‘astrophysics’” ddssfhhgdhjfh

HELPMNKJDFSN 😭 i'll put this under a cut bc both of them got kinda long hehe

also fair warning the first one is soo sad pure angst there is not a hint of happiness skdgjfs skip to the second divider if you don't want to read it

send me a title and i'll tell you what i would write for it!

ooh i really like the first one!! i'm thinking a historical au. some kind of period piece a la jane austen featuring vernon as mr. darcy and it's super angsty, kinda like a cautionary tale about life and love and loss. it's told in a series of flashbacks as he walks down a hallway in a house; even though it's daytime outside, the curtains are drawn and it's just dark and dreary, reflecting his mood as he looks at each portrait hung on the wall and thinks about the memories that should be good and happy, but they're tainted as he looks back on them and remembers all the bad things that came afterwards instead. i'm thinking at the very end there's a reveal that's like, you ended up parting ways, not for some big, dramatic reason, but you just fell out of love with him and you didn't want him to feel like his love for you wasn't reciprocated and that he deserved someone who would give back to him all the love he has to give. it was such a clean break that he shouldn't have any reason to be so melancholy (it's not like you cheated on him or ran away with his brother), but it's such an unsatisfying end that he almost wishes you'd had a huge argument and blown up at him; he wishes he would have some reason to be mad at you, to hate you, but you did nothing wrong but give him a chance to experience what it feels like to be loved, because that's something you knew you wouldn't be able give him. so like a theme throughout this one is that in each painting and each memory he looks back on, he's remembering it and wondering when exactly you stopped loving him and why didn't he realize it sooner. ooh actually adding on, maybe he used to be a semi-successful painter and people would hire him to paint their portraits, but after you left he hasn't been able to pick up a brush since, and everything he tries to create comes out dark and tangled and choppy, nothing like the beautiful, bright, joyful paintings he used to make. so not only does he lose someone who brought love and joy into his life, he lost the ability to create art that captures that love and joy. so for the rest of his days all he can do is walk that hallway, staring at the portraits that remind him of better days and wishing he would've known some way to make you love him back.

(tagging @duhnova for this one i want u to suffer cheol thots) okay ass-trophysics is about economics major seungcheol who has to fulfill his lab credits and of course he waited until the last possible second and every other class was waitlisted so the only class available is an analytical physics class. by some miracle the prerequisites for that class are ones he's already taken for his degree and his schedule lines up perfectly for him to take this class. reader is a physics major or something so this class is required for them. you show up bright and early on the first day of the semester and you're getting out your notebook and laptop and stuff and in walks this insanely built frat-looking dude with the fattest juiciest ass you've ever seen in your entire goddamn life, and he plops down in the seat next to you and introduces himself like he isn't the most gorgeous man you've ever seen walk into a math classroom. and the semester goes on and you kinda become friends but not really friends more like classroom friends yk? and you know cheol is smart as hell but for some reason he just doesn't understand this one concept and it sucks because the entire course is pretty much built around understanding this concept. and so you try to help him pass the class and you start becoming closer, and maybe you have a crush on him but you really definitely don't btw. later maybe there's an angsty run-in with an ex girlfriend who makes all these crazy threats and tells you to stay away from him because she knows he'll come back to her, he always does, and you're like "girl i'm literally just helping him learn physics wtf do you want from me please" and she's like "i know what you're REALLY doing... back off" and so you're like. jesus okay fine whatever. so you start making excuses for not being able to help him on the weekends and evenings and days off anymore and he gets pouty and sulky like :( my bffp (best friend from physics) what did i do? and one day he's had enough and he finally manages to corner you at your favorite place to eat on campus and he's like. tell me why you're avoiding me. and you're like "well tell your dumbass girlfriend to stop sending me death threats and i'll help you with your hw again" and he's like "??? what girlfriend i haven't dated anyone since i met you at the beginning of the semester" and so you describe her and cheol lets out the biggest longest most aggravated sigh and he explains that she is his ex but she's literally insane and he has no intention of getting back with her ever and then more drama etc etc but then FINALLY they get things figured out, there's a big moment where he passes his final and you go to hug him but he goes in to kiss you and it's 🧍‍♀️ Awkward and he gets all shy and pouty again and your face is so damn hot and you're like "why did you just try to kiss me" and he has this whole speech about how he really appreciated your help over the semester but he was hoping you would go out with him because he thinks you're really smart and pretty and he just goes on and on about what he likes about you and you're just standing there shocked thinking. this man with the ass of a kardashian is professing his love to me in the middle of a starbucks and a barista is definitely giving me the side eye but oh my god yeah i kinda really do wanna kiss him and then 🫶 kissing happy ending etc etc

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

Found these ship memes from last year that were almost done so I thought I might as well finish em up real quick :>

Didn't have the energy to draw portraits tho so I just used some old picrews of my ocs and whipped up some of their partners hdfjkdg

template || picrew

incoherent ramblings under the cut cos i cannot and will not shut up <3

Liam & Fenris

both parties are so overprotective it's not even funny. guys your separation anxiety is showing

Fenris: *insert bugs bunny meme* our wardrobe

idk i just think they are saps and like saying each others each others' names over pet names

Liam isn't shy about PDA per se, he will absolutely hold hands or be otherwise sappy in public (Addie is suffering constantly), but he is very private about anything that goes farther (this is about them and for them and not for anybody else). Considering how Fenris throws himself at Hawke before the last battle tho I assume he is not quite as reserved lol

Lilan & Isbela

Bela doesn't fit in all of Lilian's stuff but generally they swap clothes whenever they feel like it

probably should've put Bela's awkwardness level lower but w/e. Lilian however absolutely is an awkward mess in the beginning lol. Girl has no idea how to deal with These Weird New Emotions

No the low jealousy does not mean they don't care, it means that I imagine they're just.. very secure about their devotion to one anther. They're both flirty and both liberal with their sexuality and they know that none of that threatens what they have.

Also smh i feel like they wouldn't be too huge on PDA? Like they're not averse to it but not super keen on it either. Which is funny cos I don't think they would mind with other people at all, only when it's the two of them

They are at their core just as sappy as fen and liam you can fight me on this

Kala & Alistair

Tbh most of their awkwardness comes from neither of them having any experience (plus their upbringings in general) and both of them having to figure everything out. It's nice figuring it out together tho :)

Yes Kala is a Dwarf yes she is a big spoon.

I can totally imagine Ali exaggerating screaming about bugs bc he thinks it's fun to be over dramatic (and to have kala come to the rescue)

I wasn't really sure where to put them on the protectiveness scale cos I imagine they are very chill most of the time, because they both know they can handle themselves just fine, but at the same time they have "don't you dare look at my partner wrong" kinda vibes

June & Cullen

not a romantic ship but I'd say that the.. *gestures vaguely* whatever they have still counts lol. They live together, in any case, so,,,,

FR why does June even buy clothes she just steals everyone else's anyway

Should've put June further towards the "affection through words" side cos she is very vocal about her feelings in general and on the other had struggles to show her love through actions properly

Can June drive a car? Questionable. Will she do it anyway? Take a lucky guess

I think it is very funny to think that they are both horny mfers, but June is very blunt about it while Cullen still has that chantry boy attitude about it lol

maybe should've raised cullen's jealousy meter p: the more i think about it the more he strikes me as the type to get jealous xd

Ari & Josie

They're so fun. I love them. I really don't talk about them enough

Took a while for Ari to start using pet names, and Josie does it a lot more, but it's turned into something like a game between them

They love cooking!! And they're mighty good at it too. Beware tho if you try their food, they like it hot and spicy

Josie may seem coy and proper but I think the would totally be up for PDA. Get people talking, cause a bit of a scandal, yknow? She doesn't cos Ari isn't fond of it, but she would.

Ari doesn't get super jealous, but he can't help being at lest a little surly when some snob gets overly flatter-y and honey-tongued with Josie.

i feel like they're both protective but in a passive way, if that makes sense? Like they know they are both well equipped to navigate the kinds of dangers they deal with, but they'll still take precautionary measures in the background to make extra sure nothing happens. And they're not in-your-face about it, but they know and appreciate it anyway

[enhyupn]

⧉ enhypen as your classmate that has a crush on you! ᝢ ∷

pairings: ot7 enhypen members x gn!reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of violence in jay’s one

genre: pure fluff + high school!au

a/n this also. Was in my drafts 💭 i was contemplating if i should post this or not but here i am 😫 i Post too much sorry everyone iJust have no life outside of school 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️

⌗ heeseung

heeseung is definitely the type of person that tries to talk to the person he sits beside all the time

he nudges you all the time and whispers your name whenever he wants your attention

and the fact he had a huge crush on you also added to it

enhypen always have to listen to him since he never ever stops talking about you. like ever.

“oh my god you will never know what y/n told me when i—” and suddenly he’s cut off by the rest of them yelling “we know!”

you never snap at him because you kinda... enjoy the attention

maybe thats how you knew you kinda liked him too, since you could never let sunoo get away with this if he ever called for your name in class

your relationship only stopped there for a while, since the two of you lowkey scared of each other

“no i feel like y/n’s gonna snap at you one day, like completely just punch you in the face” jay once told him and ever since, he’s never looked at you the same

you think heeseung’s just intimidating, the amount of times you’ve jumped in your seat whenever he’s called your name is numerous

although, one day you fell asleep in class due to the fact you left your english essay last minute the night before

heeseung, noticing you drooling on the table, wrote down the notes for you

he handed them to you after class and you were so touched that you couldn’t stop telling sunoo about it

“his hand writing’s so neat and—” “i get it, you can shut up now!”

you even told heeseung his hand writing was the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen for a week straight

he was happy of course, but honestly unsure how he was supposed to reply to the compliment

he figured out by himself that all he needed to do was ask you if you wanted him to write your name

“heeseung, i mean it! i can’t get over how you write ‘the’, it’s just so— so neat!” “oh really? let me write your name out”

being the smooth guy that he was, wrote down his number instead of your name

and you being the oblivious person you were, ended up being utterly confused

“heeseung i think—” “I WROTE MY NUMBER ON PURPOSE”

you never really got over the shock, nonetheless still took his number and texted him that night

you ended that night by kicking your feet in the air with your face feeling like it was on fire

oh, you also ended up planning a date with heeseung on saturday, not a big deal

it was actually the biggest deal ever

the rest of the head canons are under the cut!

⌗ jay

jay was 100% the type to tease someone when he had a crush to get their attention

he wanted all your attention and the way he got that was through telling you your portrait of a dog looked stupid

well yeah, it did but he didn’t need to point it out

everyone in your art class knew jay had a raging crush on you

he just didn’t know how to express it

his friend jake told him the way into your heart was talking about a mutual interest

jake was, sort of, right about his advice. well, until you and jay started bickering about a character you loved but he oh so hated

“mabel in gravity falls was annoying and weird” “jay if you say that one more time i will shove this paint brush down your throat”

jake, who was trying to play cupid, could not understand why he was so bad at this

i mean jay had no problem getting girls to like him but you? did you genuinely hate jay or something?

“no jake i don’t hate jay” well that answered his question

“he’s just weird” “weird? i’m weird?” “yeah do i need to repeat it again? park jay is weird” you two were a match made in heaven

jay didn’t know when but he had a revelation, maybe this wasn’t the approach he should take to get your attention

after that, he started to be extremely nice to you

it definitely scared you

“d-did i do anything?” “what no? i’m just saying your painting looks beautiful y/n” “oh no something’s definitely going to happen”

he was finally tired of trying so hard while ending up with nothing achieved

jake, being the one out of the two who had the most realistic ideas, decided to give him one more tip

“do you think it’ll work?” “it’s fool proof”

the tip was simply him asking you out to the movies, something that was a little too forward for jay

“no i don’t think it’ll work jake” “jay i swear to god you are going to end up single For the Rest of your Life”

it took... many attempts... and many insults towards you for him to even get the first line out

“Y/NPLEASEGOTOTHEMOVIESWITHME” “the movies? sure” “wait, really? i meant it in a romantic way by the way” “oh? sure i’m free on friday”

turns out you were into him too i mean it was kinda obvious from the way you dealt with those insults

even when you started dating after that date, the insults never stopped

it just now targeted jake, who really is just asking for it at this point from the amount of times he’s asked for credit for ‘getting both of you together’

he was never getting that credit

⌗ jake

jake would leave secret love letters in your locker every time he walked past it

i mean the action wasn’t as secret as he thought it was due to the fact you knew he was the one leaving those letters

for god’s sake the boy was literally in almost all your classes, you were walking the same way as him when he slipped those letters in???

you still were very grateful for them

without them, i think you would of not coped with school

they were all incredibly detailed and even had little doodles drawn around them

you once had remembered he mentioned that he wrote these in the morning before school started during first period

he also told you he was really really shy you found it incredibly cute

the only way he could speak to you without melting was through these letters

somehow you decided that the best thing to do was put replies in his lockers too

his first reaction was complete embarrassment, the fact you knew who he was had his face heating up like nothing else

but he soon realised you didn’t think it was weird or creepy, you actually looked forward to his letters every school day

he mustered up so much courage after that to talk to you in person, to personally thank you

“THANK YOU Y/N!” “NO IT’S FINE JAKE YOU DON’T HAVE TO BOW”

he sheepishly rubs the back of his neck before pulling something out from his back pocket

the final letter in his series of love letters showing up in his hands

“open it” his shy smile making your brain Melt in endearment

the letter contained the usual, the hello y/n! and the usual chatter about his day

what you didn’t expect was the fact he had asked you out at the bottom of the letter

“y/n i’ve liked you for a while now, will you go out with me?” you read out loud before realising what you had just read. “OH MY GOD YOU ASKED ME OUT?”

you pull him into a tight hug, something that jake heated up at

“is this a yes?” “are you seriously asking that right now? of course we are”

you two became the most sickly sweet couple ever

plus the fact you still placed letters in each other’s lockers made enhypen gag (in an affectionate way)

they were just jealous nobody was putting letters in their lockers

⌗ sunghoon

sunghoon always seemed to be there whenever you needed help

especially since you two helped out at the library together every wednesday

he looked forward to it every week, you could tell from the fact ever tuesday he’d remind his friends that the next day he was seeing you again

“tomorrow’s wednesday you know what that means” “yes sunghoon we know, you’re seeing y/n tomorrow”

whenever he’s finished his work (which he does at an incredibly fast pace) he always seems to end up trailing you

constantly asking if you need help, desperate to do something

you find it endearing, always ending up chuckling at his whiney words

“y/n! do you need any help i’m finished” “not at the moment but if you wanna chat i can!”

out of all the enhypen members i feel like sunghoon would have the softest feelings for his crush

like even outside of your assigned library work, he’d constantly check up on you during lunch

“here y/n! it’s a packet of those gummies you like” “how sweet that you remembered! thanks for them”

you, even with sunghoon’s constant affection, couldn’t realise he had a crush on you

you thought that he was like that with everyone, you didn’t think that you were particularly special to get any type of unique treatment from park sunghoon

it wasn’t until your classmate asked you if you and sunghoon were dating

“hey are you and sunghoon dating?” “ummmm no why” “oh my friend wanted to know, they like him that’s why”

that didn’t sit well with you.

you thought long and hard about it but there was literally no reason for you to be bothered about it

i mean? you didn’t like him like that right

wrong

you decided to ask his dearest friend heeseung for help

“heeseung what do i do why do i feel like this” “i don’t know ask sunghoon” “...you aren’t helping”

heeseung being the big blabber mouth he is, told sunghoon all of this

“y/n won’t shut up about you” “really? you’re telling me the truth right? please don’t lie to me”

from many many uplifting comments from his friends, sunghoon was able to talk to you without mentioning the library

“so... what did you do in art class today?” “oh? i don’t do art” i mean at least he tried

after a few attempts he finally hit the nail on the head, securing his place as one of your friend... not the position he was aiming for but at least it was something

that’s when he prepared himself for the final boss (that’s what heeseung called the plan)

interrupting the conversation you both had on what disney show was the best, he popped the big question

“no but mulan was pretty good too also do you wanna go on a date with me” “oh sure! that was really random though”

i mean his timing was incredibly terrible but you were over the moon

even with the calm messages the both of you had sent, the two of you were screaming at your screen, unable to contain any composure

i mean it’s sunghoon... even if he handed you a piece of trash to as his way of asking you out you’d still say yes

⌗ sunoo

no but sunoo definitely asks your friend what your favourite song is and puts it on his story so you can slide up and be like “omg!! i love this song”

OH he also texts you randomly at 11:11 and 22:22 so you think it’s a sign

he so so so desperately wants your attention all the time

he goes up to you at lunch even when you’re with all your friends and makes conversation with you making you forget all about your friends

he sits in front of you in maths! so he knows how bad you are at the subject, he can hear your muttering about how you got a question wrong every morning but don’t Worry! he finds it adorable for some reason

at first he started to pretend he wouldn’t understand a question so he could find a way to talk to you

“hey y/n! what’s six times five again” “are you serious?”

he’s actually kinda good at maths so you’re always confused on how he doesn’t understand basic multiplication but can get 90% on the algebra test

he loves, and i mean loves, talking to you during class

even if the teacher scolds him he doesn’t care, it’s simply the highlight of his day

he gets so pouty and jealous when you excuse him in the middle of a conversation to talk to someone else

he gets jealous especially whenever you talk to his friends instead of him

“hey ni-ki! what did you get for number five?” “oh i got—” “I GOT TWELVE FOR THAT ONE Y/N!”

you kinda adore it not gonna lie

at one point your teacher got incredibly fed up with you two talking class

so! sunoo resorted to passing notes to you

‘y/n did you hear? oh my god, jihan from the maths class beside us told me that yeojin from the year above us got suspended because she started fighting the teacher over her phone. can you believe that? i mean i would of done the same thing’

it was quite clear sunoo talked a lot even through notes too

i mean as if you didn’t reply with the same energy

‘I HEARD THAT TOO!! gowon from her class told me, plus! intak said he saw the whole thing too... omg honestly i think yeojin’s so cool for doing that. maybe i should fight our maths teacher if they try and yell at us for talking again?’

they were one of the many things sunoo loves you for <3

one day ni-ki, being the number one shipper of you two, decides to play Cupid on the two of you

he drew out a note that looked too similarly to a middle school confession text and placed it on sunoo’s desk

“do you like me y/n... tick one. yes. no.” “do you like it?” “what the fuck is this”

i mean sunoo Took it anyways, he knew you’d find it funny too

as usual, you prepared yourself for a long class of sliding notes to each other

you looked forward to it, you found it as a source of entertainment and you liked talking to sunoo anyways

“pssst, y/n!” “thanks— wait did you give me the right one?”

after many whisper shouts and glares from your teacher, he finally convinced you that they were the real deal

obviously. You chose yes

that’s how you landed a date with sunoo to a picnic at han river

sunoo and you were. Kinda.... thankful for ni-ki

you two just never wanted to admit his stupid cupid-ry worked

⌗ jungwon

definitely the type to ask you “what homework did we get?” so he can start a conversation with you

replies to your private story with like “omg that’s so funny” or like “PLSSSSS me too”

you do exactly the same with his ps honestly

he always talks to you before class and you have heated discussions about the homework the night before

YOU ALWAYS ALWAYS end up sitting beside him in every class you have together

like it’s not even on purpose anymore (it’s actually fate)

always lends you pens and pencils when you forget them

he also never Asks for them back so you Have like a stash of them at home beside your bed because you always forget to give them back to him

you and jungwon are the kids in pe class that walk around the track gossiping

“jake told me that half of the soccer team aren’t getting along these days because they all like the same person” “no way really? what about their team work, isn’t there some sort of huge match next week?”

the gossip only stays between you two but only ever during pe

you two talk about more, interesting things outside of pe

since you two are in basically every class together, you walk with him everywhere

once when you were about to trip over, jungwon caught you and when you realised you were in his arms, you just blankly stared at him for a good five seconds

once you got off of him your face started to heat up so fast jungwon’s too

every time you have homework due and you didn’t do it he lends you his word

“y/n take this! it’s the french homework from last class” “thanks so much jungwon!”

the real story starts with when you and him were practicing speaking french in the library

you, being terrible at french, needed some sort of help with this

jungwon decided that, even though he completely sucks at french, he should tutor you!

and there you were, ten reasons why i hate you style, in the library struggling on how to pronounce beaucoup

“bow-cewp” “good job y/n!” “jungwon i know for a fact that you don’t know if i’m saying this right”

you stuck up with it because, well because he’s jungwon

“je t'aime you”

i mean you were Terrible. at french but even the stupidest person in the world could figure that out

“i like you too jungwon, now help me with question six” “YOU COULD UNDERSTAND THAT?” “i had a paris phase when i was younger of course i did”

turns out the Parisian style bakery across the street is the perfect date on an afternoon after school

what was even more perfect was that you got 85% on your test with the help of your boyfriend

⌗ ni-ki

he was your partner in cookery class, the both of you had no cooking skills in your bones but you still made it work

you were in the class since your family constantly nagged at you for being terrible in the kitchen

while ni-ki enrolled because he needed the something to show his friends after school

ni-ki thinks he fell for you at first sight

you were baking cookies as your first task and you basically saved him by reminding him to put on oven gloves before getting the cookies out

“that’s the bare minimum” jay tells him. “i don’t care... you wouldn’t know what love feels like”

he looks forward to cooking class because if you every week

he even has it scheduled on his calendar

honestly it’s kind of a miracle the food you two make is some sort of eatable

he always asks you for help even if it’s the simplest thing ever

“y/n? which one is a cup?” “the one that literally says one cup?”

you don’t care though since you think it’s cute

you always end up doing most of the cooking and chopping whil ni-ki just washes the dishes and watches the pot boil which eagerly waits for the food to finish

you’ve met all of enhypen before since ni-ki likes them to gather around your creations and take pictures of them together

when enhypen first collected him from cookery class, they asked him which one of your classmates were you

he literally shyly pointed at you as he hid his face with his hair

“them” “huh? ni-ki who are you pointing at” “them, beside the fridge”

your final exam was to decorate and bake a cake

it’s safe to say from the many burnt cakes you and ni-ki have done, you two were in trouble

you both wanted that passing grade so you practiced almost everyday after classes the week before

he was in charge of the icing, apparently according to him it was his specialty

“look y/n!” “how cute! a little unreadable but very cute”

finally. the Day of the exam came

you both had to prepare and bake the cake together under two hours

you were lucky that you both weighed the ingredients before you arrived

it was definitely. The most stressful two hours you two had ever felt

it also didn’t help that ni-ki shooed you away when he was icing the cake

by the end of it, your face was Dusted with flour while ni-ki’s apron had butter and frosting stains all over it

you were instructed by ni-ki and even your teacher, to stand where the fridge was, out of your sight to see what he was doing to the cake

you were hazily scrolling through your phone when jungwon snapped you back into reality

turns out jungwon was outside the room the whole exam because ni-ki told him he needed support and having him there comforted him

almost instantly after your jungwon interaction, ni-ki called you from your table, excitedly waving his arms in the air

“y/n! y/n! i’m finished!” “perfect! let me—”

your eyes widened realising his cake didn’t say anything like ‘happy birthday’ like you two had planned

instead the icing spelt out a prettily written out ‘y/n, will you go on a date with me?’

your eyes seemed to water at the gesture, unsure why you got so emotional at icing

“n-ni-ki... that’s so c-cute” “why are you crying? oh my god you hate me don’t you?”

it took you ten minutes to stop sobbing (happy tears) and you gladly accepted his proposal

so now you got a Good grade and an amazing boyfriend that can... sort of! Cook

while eating the cake you were reminded with something, remembering some words from earlier

wait did mr lee know about this?

[butwhatifidothis]

For a change of pace I’m going to actually say something nice about a character, and that’s Claude (under the cut cuz it got a bit long and I remember!! that’s a fucking thing you can do lmaooo).

Like, there’s honestly a lot to this character that I find very striking and sadly gets overlooked in favor of either making him a complete joke or a complete/near complete sociopath. I like that Claude initially believes himself to be this beacon of hope to this silly land of Fodlan because of his view as an outsider... and then realizing and acknowledging he’s not, that while an outsider’s perspective takes away the bias of growing up steeped in certain ways it also leaves holes that he just can’t catch without someone showing him due to his ignorance of said culture. He thinks he has Cyril and Rhea pinned down to rights because of course he would, why wouldn’t he... and then he actually talks to them and is shown wrong, and he listens! With Cyril he likes being shown the truth even if it means it puts him and his previous beliefs in a nonperfect light! With Rhea he doesn’t just reject her words even though they blow a giant hole in what he thought of her for the vast majority of the game!

And the way his trust issues are handled, while I do think could have been dealt with better had the route focused on his character more, I still absolutely love it. It’s so subtle but consistent throughout pre ts/post ts VW, how often he “makes sure” the Golden Deer are by his side, how he always has to find the “right time” to reveal his plans to them because he genuinely thinks they won’t trust or believe in him, how he genuinely thought that Hilda and Judith would abandon him if things got too dangerous for them personally (in AM for Judith, Hilda for both CF and AM), how you never really get Claude’s full story anywhere even in the end or the S support (almost like that’s a big source of trauma for him and he’s a secretive guy because of that trauma that doesn’t magically stop being a thing because you wanna kiss him! Congrats IntSys for once you managed to get something kinda right!), how even something like you calling him a stalwart ally is responded with a wink and a deflection saying that you’re just flattering him (because you can’t actually believe he’s a good ally too, right?), but then you see him actually trust someone and oh. Oh man. The difference is night and day. How he pleads with Dimitri to stop fighting and join forces in both AM and VW despite Dimitri being off the fucking walls at the time, how he honestly believed that Dimitri would not only recover from his madness but still come to his aid in AM, hell even in CF he honestly believes that there’s no way Byleth would kill him despite them deliberately forcing the Alliance into the war by invading them, shown by his shock and hurt if you actually do - Claude puts his trust in few people but when he does he does and that’s honestly so indicative of how drastic his trust issues affect him.

You see that growth more blatantly in his supports as well - compare how worriedly Claude deflects Hilda’s observation about his knowledge of how Almyrans see the Gonerils pre ts to him inviting her to meet his parents post ts. Similar with Leonie, how he offers to take her to his homeland, something pre ts Claude would never dream of. 

And then there’s his empathy and compassion! Like often he’s very careless when it comes to trying to discover the truth yes, but when he sees there’s a line he’s going to cross if he does? He steps back, always. His supports with Marianne show this amazingly, with him thoughtlessly stepping on her insecurities, trying to apologize and make her feel better but failing, and then ending with him opening up to her about his own life - something he very, very rarely does - to make her feel less alone with her struggles. His ones with Flayn even say straight up that he dislike forcing secrets out of people, and when he says he’ll give up trying to get Flayn to talk herself... he does. Legitimately. Afterwards he just spitballs theories to her. Even when he sees he’s hitting close to home when he correctly guesses Flayn and Seteth’s relationship he doesn’t push farther than that despite the huge implications of what that means. And this “I don’t like to force secrets out of people” line is backed up by you losing support points with him if you try to dig at Flayn after Remire.

And we know that Claude doesn’t immediately think of the commonfolk in his dream via his supports with Cyril, but damn, when they’re in front of him, when they’re directly in his care? Claude arguably goes the farthest of the three lords to portect them. Mr. “Tactical Retreat” suddenly puts himself in direct danger by painting himself as a prime target for the Empire to attack in AM and CF. He involves none of the other houses and tell his men to retreat should things get dangerous for them (as shown in explore dialogue with CF!Lysithea and what he says if Judith and Hilda die in AM/CF in their respective maps). He calls in the Almyran army in CF and on the Kingdom army in AM - forces with trained soldiers ready to fight, not civilians desperate to live. And speaking of civilians, he evacuates all of Derdriu’s civilians and closes down entry into Derdriu. Even with him planning on retreating himself should things go badly that takes some nards to go through with given how easily things can go badly for him should just about anything go awry; he goes the distance for those under his care.

And also how readily he offers his support and understanding to the more emotionally abused characters. Look at his talk with Dimitri during Golden Deer’s Plea, back at his supports with Marianne, how he sympathizes with Rhea - someone he actively disliked/distrusted for most of the game - once he hears her story.

And yo, man, his backstory? Imma be real, very rarely do I get invested in “racism bad” storylines because so often they fall into “white man bad POC good” black-and-white (lol) mentality, but this? I actually felt this. So rarely is a mixed race person’s perspective shown in regards to racism since it’s more complicated than “whitey bad POC good”. No, both have people in them that are raised with beliefs that breed racism. They’re not evil people, they’re a result of the culture that raised them, and that raised those that raised them, and so on and so forth. He gets that his dream is unrealistic and that it’d take a very, very long time to implement even if it did happen and even then would face extreme backlash from people from both sides, but he believes in this dream. It’s what lets him face on Edelgard in CF despite the insignificant chance he has of winning if he does so, what pushed him to go beyond his familiar home of Almyra into the completely unknown Fodlan, what drives him to aim for Almyra’s throne despite his position as the youngest prince (aka his weak connection compared to his half-brothers).

And like, Claude shares with Rhea in that IntSys dropped the ball on their characters anyway, despite how much thought was put into them. Rhea is stripped of damn near any agency in post ts, non-CF routes and Claude has noticeably less direct attention given to his upbringing compared to Edelgard and Dimitri (and small things like no appearance from either of his parents’, no child portrait, stuff like that). This is most likely due to their routes basically being copy-pastes of each other so it had to be compatible with both characters so both characters had to suffer for it. But like, for what we got? I still love it.

[andsmile]

you probably have realized this but the way teen dramas treat latinas is so aggravating like theresa in the oc and anna in one tree hill (bi storyline included) were always treated (even veronica if we go by b*rchies reasoning) as an obstacle for the main guy to reunite with the main white girl or they just didn't exist. The treatment of veronica is worse cause she's one of the mains and idk i just cant see my favorite character be embarrassed by the guy who's supposed to be in love w/ her 😭😭

as a latina myself, i have realized it. i have spoken up about it several times whenever i get asked questions about why can’t i give b*rchie a chance or why i dislike b*rchie so much and i’ve had several people calling me out for saying what i said, that people should be able to ship whatever they ship without me saying they’re sexist or racist/xenophobe, but i still think that shipping ba in the context of riverdale and supporting the ~narrative~ their fandom supports is the ultimate fuck you for the portrait of a prominent latina character in the media. a character who was originally white and was turned into a latina only for her family to be criminalized, no other.

a lot more under the cut!

the other day me, @monica-posh (who’s black) and @archiercnnies (who’s another latina like me) had a very interesting conversation over representation and how we are always bound to be represented in the media by characters who are poorly written in an already poorly written show, “bitches”, “strong women that need no man”, or doormats who are always apologizing for stuff they sometimes never even did, or forgiving white characters for horrible stuff they have done without even getting a proper apology from the ones who wronged them. the short end of the stick gets shorter and shorter the darker the character’s skin is.

the oc and one tree hill were shows written in the early 00′s. i know this shouldn’t be an excuse, but it kinda is, considering how much the world evolved with the representation discourse since then. however, riverdale is from a very decade in a very different world and it was beautiful to see what a diverse cast they really were, until you actually watch it and realize how they write it. all pocs on riverdale at some point are turned into villains or antagonists to the three white straight mains. even veronica and her family have antagonized bh before. they are all written off without an explanation, killed, or given minor storylines that are carelessly written and forgotten.

granted, the ‘big bads’ have all been white so far... except hiram. whose main purpose is to be a mexican man who terrorizes the little perfect american town. and the mexican man’s daughter is the one who archie falls for interrupting the white boy-and-girl-next-door dream of being together. a daughter of immigrants is the problem of the little american town. i couldn’t make that shit up.

there’s the problem of the writing room, too. i googled and searched and i think even though ras is a latinx man, most of the other writers are white. and men. and it’s only getting whiter and more manly as the seasons progress. how can these writers ever stop and think wait, i am doing this and that and putting this latinx character in an embarrassing position? no, they don’t think that, they don’t think omg i am making two white kids embarrass a latinx girl, they think omg DRAMA. they can’t see it because it doesn’t affect them. we don’t have to go so far: if you ask a man reviewer what they want to happen to x couple in s5, they’ll say they want the girl to pine for the guy. if you ask a woman reviewer, they’ll say the contrary.

there’s a huge distance between the writers - white men - and me, a white latina woman. there’s an even bigger distance between the writers and the black girl. or the black trans person. etc. etc. and they don’t know how to write for us, because they don’t care. vanessa morgan had to speak out in public and jeopardize her job so she could see some alleged change happening. things are still changing. people are still trying to understand, from the top to bottom.

one thing that attracted me in riverdale and in varchie, specifically, is how archie was always choosing veronica and putting her first, despite her not being the girl-next-door. i have never seen on screen the narrative that the bas tried to conjure that she was only an obstacle, and i still don’t. i am always very upset with how veronica (and the lodges in general) is written and how they can’t even give her an original storyline that doesn’t revolve around her father, but i never thought this applied to archie and veronica and i still think it doesn’t. yes, it’s a very stupid writing choice that these writers took by making her sing a song that he’s written for her best friend in front of them? it is. but at the same time, i do not think this is what makes her an obstacle on their road or on his road to betty. i don’t think this is what the writers are trying to tell us, i really don’t, and i might be very disappointed about it in the end of it all, but the reason why they have veronica going through all this shit is because they don’t even realize how much it makes them look like they hate her. it’s just how they see them, as a latinx character: passionate! dramatic! artistic! dangerous! femme fatale! it fits her!

it’s a sad thing, really, this storyline. but i don’t think archie has ever pretended to be in love with her or was written to do so. and this belief makes me hold on to varchie in canon for sure. they will give them all the dramatic! passionate! fire! storylines and they will have them overcome their obstacles, and i much more would love watching them painting a wall then her needing the help of a white man to save her from yet another white man, but all the racist/xenophobe subtext here is something the writers (and even cami!) might not even realize, tbh.

(other things to think about: why did they have to make jughead not-poor so he could be in an established relationship with betty? why do fans want both jughead and archie to fight for/save betty but no one wants anyone fighting for/saving veronica? why couldn’t they write veggie as a compelling love story instead of whatever that was? etc etc etc.)

[fanficparker]

Under My Umbrella | Tom x Haz one-shot

Pairing: Harrison Osterfield x Tom Holland

Word count: 5.5k words

Warnings: Swearing, angst, lots of tears, alcohol

Summary: The one where Harrison did the audacity to kiss his life-long best friend or his twin sister’s boyfriend.

A/N: Life is short and this is just a piece of fiction, why stop myself from posting it on my own blog?

PART 1 ♡

(Tom's POV)

"I am so sorry. OH GOD, I AM SO SORRY!"

I hear Harrison screaming on the top of his voice. My vision is blurry, the rain isn't allowing me to see much, although I am sure there is much more than just the rain pouring down his face; his tears were also streaming down along with it.

He had taken five steps away from me after kissing me in the rain and my world has already fallen apart. He is pulling at his curls so aggressively. He will hurt himself. I take a step towards him with my hands reaching out but he takes another step back.

He is drifting away from me. And I am drifting apart from myself.

I freeze on my feet. My heartbeat feels non-existent. I am confused. Am I dead or alive? If I am dead then where am I? Is it heaven or hell? It kind of feels like both.

Harrison has just kissed me. His taste is still lingering on my tongue. My head is spinning without even a single drop of alcohol. His touch did this to me. And now I am starving. Starving for more.

"I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have. Shit! I SHOULDN'T HAVE!"

"No... No... " I try to stop him but he's already running. My ankle is aching. I can't run fast, I can't catch his pace. Then, he slowly vanishes away from my sight.

"HARRISON! HARRISON... PLEASE STOP! Please stop... Please..." I scream, sinking down to the footpath. I was too late to scream. I was too late to stop him.

He's gone. He broke the promise.

***

I can hear those distinct lyrics as the soft music resonates in the air. It's the Ember Island's version— our favourite version. I am sitting here waiting for the interviewers to arrive but my mind keeps drifting off to the song.

"This is our song!" Harrison says as we are lying down on the bed.

"Umbrella? Really?" I ask, surprised.

He turns on his side and faces me, I do the same. His head rests on his elbow while my head is still on the pillow. We were looking at each other.

"Yeah..." His voice is soft. He hums and looks back at the ceiling while the music plays from his phone. He starts lip-syncing along with the lyrics, "Cause in the dark, you can't see shiny cars. And that's when you need me there with you, I'll always share. Because..."

"When the sun shine, we shine together. Told you I'll be here forever---"

"You are singing." RDJ chuckles sitting beside me. And I realise that I was actually singing. My stomach twists into a knot and my face gets warm.

"We can sing it together, kiddo!" He says, enthusiastically.

"I... er..." I try to stop him but he is already singing.

Why am I always late?

"Under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh..." RDJ is singing, he is nodding his head sideways and is peaking at me occasionally.

The song is the same but the voice is different. The lyrics mean different when Harrison sang them. In Harrison's voice, they meant something but right now they are just raw. Hollow.

***

We are on the same magazine cover.

Oh my god.

We are on the same freaking magazine cover!

'The Spider-man 3 star tells us about his secret power food', The Hollywood Reporter headline reads with my gym photo-shoot as the background.

There are three more sub-headlines to the cover, placed near the right margin. The second one says, 'Harrison Osterfield: The young British actor tells us about his inspirational journey as the young face for Agent 007. (Pg. 3-4)'

The rumours were true. He has done it.

Oh my god. And I am not even there to congratulate him.

"I am so proud of you. I knew you would grab it!" Harrison bounces on his feet while I stand near him, blushing furiously.

"My mate is Spider-man! My mate is THE Spider-man!!" He proudly yells and keeps his palms on my shoulders. When I look up into his blue eyes, they are glossy and act like mirrors. I can see myself reflecting through them. Then I notice a little pinch of sadness shining through them.

"Don't forget me though..." He says slowly. His energetic voice started sounding cracked. It made me think for a moment.

I gulp, "You can be my assistant. I-It will help you... gain experience in the industry." I was planning to ask him this since my role was confirmed because how was I even supposed to step into my new, more chaotic life without my biggest support system?

He pulls back his arms from my shoulders and looks at me with wide eyes.

"What?"

"Yes!... Also, you know... I-I am kinda afraid going on the journey alone." I bite at my lower lip.

Just say yes, I pray silently.

"Oh, div! You'll not be alone there. You'll have big stars. All those fancy people, fancy life-style and those fancy---"

"These fancy things will never come in between us, Harrison," I cut his rambling off. He pauses and glances at me.

"I am alone without you..."

I am always alone without him.

I regret not saying always, even though it doesn't matter anymore.

My fingers flip through the pages, my eyes land on his half-page portrait. He was wearing a black and white formal suit; his index finger is pressed against his forehead as he is bent forward while his were eyes boring into the front. They are staring into my soul.

My breath hitches in my throat. It's just his portrait but those eyes. Those eyes. I avert my gaze from the picture to the text. He talks about his journey from school to landing this role. He talks about his family, he talks about his journey as my assistant and then he talks about me. I can hear his voice even when it's just plain text.

'I cannot thank Tom enough. He pushed me harder whenever I slowed down. He pulled me up when I fell down. I really look up to him.'

No Harrison, you are wrong. You pushed me harder when I slowed down. You pulled me up when I fell down. It's me who looks up to you.

"Oh em jee!" The teen girl squeals seeing me at the airport. Harrison and I were walking, dragging our trolleys. I was wearing a cap, sunglasses and even had my hoodie on yet she somehow spotted me. She ran towards me.

"You are Tom Holland! I am such a huge fan of you!!!" She is still squealing as she takes out her phone, asking me for a picture. I was really sleepy and sleep-deprived at the same time, but it still made me smile. I lowered my hoodie and took off my goggles.

Harrison was standing beside me, grinning too. I was ready for her to take a selfie with us but then she walks up to Harrison and points her phone to him.

"Huh?"

I see a little confusion appear on his face.

"Take our picture," She says almost disrespectfully. I feel a pang in my heart, I can't even imagine what he must be feeling. But then he looks at me, takes the phone and smiles.

The girl stands beside me, and Harrison is standing in front of us.

"Smile..." He whispers, looking at me in the eye, his face breaking into a bigger grin and I can't stop the smile that spreads across my own lips seeing him smile.

But I know he was sad from inside and even when I was physically present there, I wasn't still there to make him really smile, the one that makes his eyes crinkle.

I am really sorry for making you feel left out when all you did was try to make me feel included. Sorry for every time I left you alone. Yet, you always kept smiling. How do you do that?

I seriously need to learn a lot from you...

***

I had stopped stalking him on social media weeks ago. It was taking a toll on my mental health. But much to my dismay, I had a notification of him mentioning me in his Instagram story. My finger hovers over the unseen story. I click to see it.

The story was completely black, he has even tagged me in black. This story is exclusively for me. The song plays in the background.

No. No.

He can't do this to me.

He can't fucking do this to me.

"Now that it's raining more than ever, Know that we still have each other, You can stand under my---"

I threw my phone at the wall and the song stops playing abruptly. I am sure that I broke the device. But at least the song has ended.

I hate him for this!

How can he do this do me? How can he go so low?

I sunk down to the floor of my room. I am not just crying, I am screaming. Just like that night when I sunk down to the footpath...

Harrison and I were walking on the wet footpath. The rain was only getting heavier but none of us cared. The occasional honking of vehicles or the whooshing sound of tires against the wet concrete didn't bother us either.

Our shoulders were bumping against each other while we talked and laughed at stupid things. We sometimes did it, went out to have an ice-cream and talked about everything. It cleared off our minds and provided us with a break from our busy lifestyles. Harrison was holding the umbrella over our head as he was the taller one. A small portion of my other shoulder was slightly wet even when we were super close to each other. The umbrella was small, so I shifted closer to him. But I accidentally twisted my ankle due to the slippery path.

"Ouch!" I stop, putting my arm across his shoulder to balance myself, lifting the injured foot in the air.

"What happened?" He asks in a voice full of concern, stopping his motions.

"My foot. I think... I got a sprain."

"Oh, Tom. I tell you to be careful." He says and hands me the umbrella while I shift towards the wall, supporting myself. He crouches down on the empty footpath and unties my sandals, holding my foot in his hand.

"At least I didn't break my nose this time." I chuckle but it ends up as a whimper when he twists my ankle.

"It looks mild," He declares, re-tieing my sandals and stands up. I smile at him in gratitude but he wasn't smiling back. My expression changes to reciprocate his'. Then I realise that he wasn't properly standing up. His knees were slightly bent and his face was at the same level as mine. We were staring at each other. He took a step closer to me and suddenly all my senses were shutting down. The only thing I could feel was how close he was to me, how the scent of his aftershave was the sweetest smell I have ever inhaled, how his eyes were staring at mine, how they flickered down to my lips, how they closed, how the sound of his shaky breath made my heart shiver, how his lips were feeling against mine, how his breath tasted of vanilla and chocolate...

My limbs lost all their strength and the umbrella fell down, drowning us both in pouring water. His hands came to hold mine as he interlaces his fingers through mine, giving them a little squeeze.

He was kissing away the water droplets off my lips. I didn't do anything. I just let him. Or maybe I was kissing him back but it was all... so natural. I have never felt so calm and protected in my life. The way his lips rolled over mine... I was completely intoxicated.

There was something intimate about rain. Something soothing. Your ears are drumming with the pitter-patter sound that you can't hear the regular hustle-bustle. For once I felt like Harrison and I were absolutely alone in this world. I liked that feeling.

But we weren't.

That's when the reality hit him and he panicked.

I was dating his twin sister.

PART 2 ♡

(Harrison's POV)

It's 5 am and I am still not sleeping. My headphones are plugged into my ears while I feel like an absolute piece of shit. Not just I have done the forbidden audacious task of falling for my best friend but also the heinous crime of kissing my sister's boyfriend.

Lily doesn't even know why Tom broke up with her after a relationship of over a year and that too, over the phone. She has no idea that the person she trusted so much for consoling her, the one she chose to cry in front of, the one she chose to hug, the one she chose to share her pain with was actually the sole creator of the pain. Her twin brother was nothing but a snake.

The day after I kissed Tom, there was a knock at my bedroom door in the middle of the night. As soon as the door opened, I stumbled back with what force Lily hugged me. She was crying into my t-shirt. Her behaviour confused me and an instant fear of something bad happening to her settled at the bottom of my heart; my brother instincts made my fists clench. I wouldn't hesitate to kill anyone who had hurt her this way.

"Tom broke up with me," She utters in between her sobs. Her words acted like salt being rubbed over my open wounds.

Turns out I was also a hypocrite. I didn't kill myself.

I was helpless. I felt both like the criminal and the victim at the same time.

I hugged her back tighter, hiding my face in her hair.

"I am so sorry, Lily. I am so sorry," I whimpered and kissed the top of her head as she snuggled closer to me.

She thinks my sorries were of sympathy. No. They were my apology. But they feel hollow just like my heart and existence...

***

Out of so many editions, The Hollywood Reporter apparently, chose to put me and Tom on the same one. Seems like nature has decided to pull me inside the deepest guilt trap possible. I lock the magazine in my cupboard. I no more have any desire to look inside of it.

I haven't slept for the past twenty-four hours. I am so nervous. I feel so insecure. I want to talk about me landing a significant role to him. I know it's just me playing James Bond's younger version in a long flashback and not the real James Bond, but still...

He is the only one capable of calming my nerves after my mum. But sometimes mum couldn't, sometimes it's not her field of expertise. Sometimes only a friend could help you.

Tom was roasting marshmallows in this garden when I entered and sat beside him.

"What's up champ?" He says, not even looking at me.

I was quiet and looking down at my lap when he finally notices and turns to look at me.

"How's it going?" He asks. I look up to meet his soft brown eyes, instantly melting at the sight.

"Not well... I dunno... I feel weird. I don't know if you will want to hear my rant but--"

"Just vent to me. My ears are always open..." He says, patting my knee.

I nod my head. He knows exactly what I want. He listened to all my rambles with zero interruptions even when my mouth was stuffed with marshmallows, without judging me or passing any opinion...

Turns out the asking for help from Tom option doesn't exist anymore, considering he had blocked me after me mentioning him in that blank music story and now my and his names are bouncing all over- #1. The old fashioned, not being used for what it was first designed for: Instagram; #2. The infamous, super political, the lifeline of democratic announcements: Twitter; and #3. The safe from boomers, modern version of fanfiction dot net: Tumblr.

The fans think they know better about our situation then what I and (probably) Tom knows.

'Tom Holland and Harrison Osterfield have unfollowed each other on Instagram!!!' reads one of the fan posts.

I didn't unfollow him, it's him who blocked me and that's how Instagram works. Our mutual following, likes, comment and tags on each other's posts are automatically removed.

'No, they haven't unfollowed each other. One of them has blocked the other!!!' reads the reblogged version.

Holy Shit! This user is far more observant (or a stalker) and knows how Instagram works. I know Tom isn't very good with the working of social media, but it also turns out that he doesn't know how this tabloid fan culture works too.

P. S. All these triple exclamation marks on the fan posts are making me freak out.

Also, I am so grateful that they all are unaware about Lily and Tom dating and their break-up, else they would have dragged her into the controversy too.

Thank God.

I have blocked the supposed tags they tag me with and limited my comment section, so I don't have to deal with any kind of questions, speculations or hate in general.

I feel bad for Tom, he hasn't done that yet. I don't even know if he knows there's an option for it. It can seriously degrade his mental health.

I wish I could tell him.

***

It's kind of awkward when people are watching you eat and in my case, my mum and my two sisters are gawking on me instead of eating their own food. Woman's stare is always intimidating and I am blessed with three female pairs of eyes on me.

"You know... You don't have to block Tom just because he broke up with me." Lily says, sitting across the dining table.

That almost made me choke on my food and drop the fork on the plate. I could already feel the glimmer of interest sparking in mum's and Charlotte's eyes. It is as if they all were planning to have this conversation with me for a long time.

But wait... Does she think that me deleting Tom from my life is because of her break-up?

Oh my god!

Was there too much miscommunication between us?

Wait...

There was no communication from my side.

"Harrison?"

It was my mum this time. She keeps her hand over my shoulder, her voice sounds super worried.

"What is it, Hazza?" She asks, lovingly. She speaks as if she knows it is more than Tom and Lily's break-up. But I don't know how to tell her...

The next moment, mum has shifted her chair near me and had engulfed me in a side hug. Soon Charlotte and Lily walked up to me and were covering me from all sides. That's when I realised that I was crying. No. I wasn't just crying, I was sobbing. It was even difficult for me to breathe.

I need air.

I excuse myself and got up. They don't ask anything, maybe in an attempt to go slow with me. I really appreciate the gesture.

***

That's how I end up in this pub, pouring my heart out to a stranger. He's carefully listening to me, while occasionally sipping his drink and nodding his head. It really feels good to be listened to. I am telling everything to him from the exact beginning and how I fell for my best friend and then he started dating my sister and then how everything came crashing down...

"That's really fucked up, friend!" He comments in his Indian accent.

He was a trans-man who found me sitting in the corner with a cigarette in my hand. I wasn't even smoking but lost in thoughts. The stick was almost going to burn my fingers when he came and slapped it away and now he was listening to everything I was saying.

And then he's narrating his own sad love story to me and oh my god it's so much worse than me, yet he's pretending that I am the worse affected.

"And that's how she killed herself and I couldn't do anything..." He finishes as I blink. Like a fish, my mouth opens and closes, I instantly gulp my beer in one go in order to not look like a fool who has nothing good and uplifting to reply.

"That's really sad..." I somehow manage to say.

"Yeah. It is..."

I seriously need to go, else I will breakdown crying. I excuse myself and leave, I am not even drunk enough which sucks.

***

There is a guy walking in front of me on the pavement and he's really really drunk, unlike me. I really want to reach home fast and lay under my soft blankets but this guy is walking, occupying the whole pavement, stumbling on his feet with every step. He stumbles harder this time, about to fall face-first on the concrete. I rush forward and catch him.

My hands feel as if they were made of hard ice when I see his face.

He chuckles, "I know you are not Harrison... but I am seeing him everywhere. So funny... haha..."

"Tom..." I whisper and he starts to cry. He seriously looks like shit. His shirt is all wet and hairs are super messy. It's hard to even see him like this. I throw my arm around his shoulder and place his hand around my neck and get him straight on his feet. I try my best to walk him to my house.

Mum was terrified of seeing Tom like this, so were Charlotte and Lily. Although, Lily helped me carry him to my room, while he was babbling some unintelligible stuff.

We lay him over my bad.

"You should change his shirt, it's really dirty," Lily suggests and walks out of the room, giving us privacy. I intake a sharp breath as I drag the half-asleep, completely drunk Tom to sit up on the bed. And before I could pull his shirt up, he's puking over my chest. I back up.

"Sorry..." He mutters and falls over the mattress.

I gotta' change my shirt too.

My hands reach to the edge of my shirt as I try to pull it up but then I see Tom, and suddenly it feels wrong. Hasn't he seen me shirtless like thousand times before? And he's not even completely conscious... Yet, I turn my back to him and change into a new jumper. Then I struggle to get Tom changed too, making him wear one of my hoodies and then throw both our dirty clothes to my laundry basket.

"You should wash your face and brush your teeth. It will feel nice..." I suggest, not sure if he was even listening to me. I again get him down on his feet and carry him to the bathroom where I splash cold water over his face. He drinks some water too. And then he's brushing his teeth, a little messily though.

As we complete, he refuses to go back to my room and instead, tries to sit on the bathroom floor, too tired to walk back. The next moment I find myself lifting him up with my arms tucked below his knees and the back of his neck. He's heavier than I anticipated but when he holds my shoulder and snuggles close to my chest with his warm breath hitting directly over my neck; my knees feel like noodles. I try my best to not look down at his face or fall down and successfully carry him back to my room and get him back on the bed.

"Haz, I need to talk about something..."

I flinch hearing Lily's voice. I turn on my feet and see her standing by my door. Warmth rushes to my face, realising- she must have seen me carrying Tom in my arms...

I swallow and walk towards her as she walks outside the room and shuts the door behind us.

She takes in a jitterybreath, "I really think..." She hesitates for a second, "Tom likes you... more than a friend and more than how he likes me..."

"I-I-I---" I try to speak but only a ragged stammer comes out, not expecting this conversation at all.

"He always talks about you and when he finds me wearing your clothes..." She fidgets with her fingers, "He gives me extra attention and... asks me not to remove them while we have... sex..." She pauses, looking embarrassed. I try not to react and stay still, listening carefully.

"I think the only reason he was dating me was that I look like you..." She finishes, knocking out all the air from my lungs.

"Why-why are you telling this to me?" Out of a million things I could say, I chose this.

"Because..." She looks straight at my face, "No one looks at a person as you look at Tom unless they are madly in love with them."

"But then why did he date you?" I ask with a heavy heart.

"... Cause it's easy to be... straight?" She speaks, her lips pressing into a thin line. I think for a moment.

"B-but what about you---"

"It's all about you and him right now. And anyway, he loves you and not me. You don't want your sister to end up with a man who doesn't really love her, right?" She asks, hopefully.

I inhale and nod.

"And I won't want my brother to not end up with the man he really loves..."

***

For the first time, I don't feel guilty, rather I feel some burden lifting off my chest. I walk inside the room, remembering my conversation with Lily. Tom was fast asleep on the bed and that makes me smile. I take out a blanket and cover him with it, switching off the lights. As I was trying to move away, his hand grasps my wrist making goosebumps rise over my skin.

"Can't we even... not share the bed anymore?" He speaks, sounding tired.

Suddenly, I am again feeling guilty. I turn on my feet, his hand was still gripping my wrist when I get into the sheets beside him. I prevent looking at his face. I am too weak for that stuff, especially when he sounds already half-sober.

His hand slowly slips off me and I clench my eyes shut.

***

I am sure that I was lying on the bed unable to sleep for several hours now. It's raining outside, pouring heavier with each passing minute. But it's better than the silence because seriously when the raindrops weren't tapping against my windowpane, all I could hear was my jittering heartbeat, heavy breathing and the sound of Tom's own breathing.

I shift underneath me, turning on my side to finally look at Tom.

Now that he's sleeping, he won't catch me staring, right?

He was sleeping on his side with his arm tucked below his head, facing me. My fingers slowly slide across the skin of his face as I breathe in deeper and rest my palm over his cheek. My thumb softly strokes his smooth skin while my pinky was playing with his ear.

His eyes flutter open, lashes resembling butterfly wings. Those freaking pools of chocolate. Once again, I was frozen on the spot.

How fair it is that people can be naturally born with eyes as soft and as brown as those?

"Haz..." He whispers my name and I feel the knots in my stomach tying.

"Why did you run...?" His voice is quiet but sounds serious. He seriously demands an explanation. But I am just staring into his eyes, not speaking anything.

Because I did some outrageous friendship destroying shit and running away was my way of escape, albeit, it just made everything much worse...

"I am sorry," That's what I say, finally. He huffs at my words.

Then he shifts closer to me, my heart clenching tighter than ever, my armpits sweating disgustingly.

"That's not the question I asked..." He says, wriggling a hand out from under the covers and putting it over my face, stroking my skin and playing with my ear, just like I was doing a few moments ago.

I lick my dry lips, swallowing softly.

"Okay, wrong question..." He smiles lightly, "Why did you kiss me?"

His grin appears to tease me. I am already overwhelmed by the closeness when he's asking me such questions. I try to divert the question as I avert my gaze, suddenly unclear of how long an eye-contact should be maintained.

"I thought you would be mad at me... You blocked me and---"

And then Tom shoves his head forward, pressing his lips against mine. My mouth splits open at the contact, an embarrassing puff of air escaping.

Tom's other hand is quick to find my arm from below the sheets as he slips his fingers through mine, while his other hand is busy tracing a thumb across my jaw. It's weirdly soothing. The sound of the rain tapping against my window makes it even better.

My eyes are shut as he tilts his head, pressing his lips tighter, his tongue licking at my bottom lip. He squeezes my hand, making me gasp. He sees the perfect opportunity, sliding it inside my mouth while I am a whimpering mess. His breath smells and tastes of mint from the toothpaste, eliciting tingles in my abdomen.

I lurch forward, trying to kiss him back but he's swift to pull away, lips separating with a soft popping sound. My eyes flutter open at the loss of contact.

"Ask me why I kissed you?" He mumbles against my lips with a big, confident smirk.

Son of a...

How can I ever forget about the surge of confidence levels in him after there is some alcohol in his system?

"Ask..." He repeats, more forcefully this time making me look directly into his eyes.

I breathe in, "Why..."

He raises his eyebrows and I fight the urge to roll my eyes back.

"Why did you kiss me?"

He chuckles and softly pats my cheek, pulling away his hand from my face but the other one continues to hold my hand in his.

"... 'coz I wanted to. I wanted to kiss you."

"Did... Did you think of Lily?"

His face turns serious at the question, almost sad. He shakes his head.

"No..." He pauses, looking at me sternly. His Adam's apple bobbles in his throat, "When you are with me I forget about everything else."

A tear escapes his eye, sliding though the side of his eye and falling directly over the pillow. He clenches his eyes shut, squeezing my hand tighter.

Drunk Tom is also emotionally unstable...

"I am sorry Haz. I can't love her when I am already in love with you." His voice sounds so wrecked, so broken... I just pull him to my chest, pulling my hand out of his grip and wrapping it across his torso.

"I understand why you ran... And yet I kissed you again," He speaks in between his sobs.

I don't know why but his words made me smile. Maybe because he understands, yet he did it. It's so courageous. He's so brave. Like it's us against the world.

"Lily understands," I tell him. He stops sobbing abruptly, his body freezes as if he's unable to comprehend my words.

"Huh?" He asks in disbelief, pulling away from my chest and looking into my eyes.

"Yes. She does. She just told it to me." I smile wider, swiping the tears off his face while he blinks.

"Really?" He utters, voice creaky.

"Yes!"

He keeps staring at me like a frightened animal. He is still not believing me. It made me chuckle.

"Yes, div! Come 'on just believe me!" I insist.

His mouth parts, tongue poking out. He's silent for a minute as I notice the changing expressions on his face.

"She did not!" He exclaims.

"She did!"

"Oh god. Am I this obvious?" He laughs, probably assuming my conversation with Lily to be something funny. Not his fault though. I cut him some slack, considering all life he's been surrounded by three brothers in an easy relationship not the complicated and competitive one I share with Lily. Although with Charlotte it's all super smooth.

Still, the sound of his laughter feels good. I can't complain.

This time I pull him into a kiss interrupting his giggles. I am going to keep kissing him till his lips swell. But all we both are doing is smiling into the kiss, unable to hold the contact even for a few seconds.

But then again, now I have plenty of time to kiss him like that later. Right now, it's this moment that matters. It's Tom who matters.

No more holding back...

_______

Taz taglist: @hazmyheart​ // @justasmisunderstoodasloki​ // @tommysparker​ // @just-a-littlebit-of-everything​ // @thenoddingbunny-blog​ // @calltothewild​​ // @viagracex​ // @httplayer​ // @slytherin-chaser​ // @perspectiveparker​ // @catkeeperthetall​ // @god-knows-what-am-i-doing​ // @its-a-leap-of-faith-kid​ // @emmaloo21​ //

[mcrmadness]

Rambling about my (dä fan)art...

I was writing another post and this kinda got out of hand and turned into me talking about my art overall. I’m gonna put this under the cut because I don’t know if people are interested in my art nor especially in my thought about it and my “art history” basically, but if you are, then I hope you enjoy.

And yes, this is gonna be about my die ärzte fanart mainly!

So let’s start with the HELL coverart drawing because that’s what I was talking about originally:

I’m extremely happy with how the drawing turned out in the end and I like that feeling of success when I’m happy with something I have created. That is not always self-evident with myself. More than often I have plain hated my drawings or have felt like there should be something done differently, or something that I could always improve at and do better. So this feeling where I’m actually content and happy with what I have created is something new and different. I have a dopamine rush every time I look at that drawing. I like the drawing. I think it looks nice. And I’m extremely happy about this fact and I am not afraid of admitting it. Perfectionism is a curse and a gift. It can sometimes make your life a living hell when something that is perfectly good still feels like it’s not enough. When everyone else sees that what you have done is actually good or even great but your brain just keeps repeating how it’s shit and everyone else is just delusional and that they don’t see what you see. And this is like the polar opposite of that feeling. It wasn’t other people who were delusional, it was you and youself all along. You were the one seeing the image in your head and the drawing not matching that image. Other people saw only what you had created and couldn’t compare it to anything. And that doesn’t mean it was never good.

So whenever I do these comics and comic style drawings nowadays, I just feel so happy. I feel that I am no longer failing them, I feel like I can draw the image I see in my head. I finally feel like I can draw, I have some skills, I’m not a professional and maybe not as good as everyone else but I’m good at what I’m doing. This is my thing and I’m good at it and it’s enough. And I love it when I feel like I’m improving. For years I felt like I was stuck, like my skills would have been glitching somehow, I didn’t get better no matter how much I drew. But I guess I tried too much and was too harsh on myself because I believed that a drawing is good only when no reference photos have been used. And I sucked at drawing without them. I still do! I was staring at the Hell coverart the whole time I was drawing! I wouldn’t have been able to do this if I didn’t! And this feels particularly good also because this is the first time I have tried something different with these comics. I have never tried to draw a photo or existing picture with this style. I have only drawn my comics and those I have created all by myself. The clothes come from what I have seen in videos and photos but the plots are created by me alone, with a idea coming from somewhere actual usually, as inspirations do.

For comics I do look at reference photos of people sitting or standing, or I look at the mirror, or even take photos of my own hand to be able to draw something. And that’s lots of fun and also challenging because I’m mixing there my old habit of portrait drawing with my less serious comic book style but I really really do like the combination. It also makes me feel that I am memorizing what I draw and the next time when I need to draw that same posture, I no longer need the reference photos because they’re no in my brain. And in my muscle memory. My hand remembers how to do the lines now.

Here you can see one of the sketches I did in 2018 - I had this image in my head and I wanted to draw it and I just... drew it in my sketchbook. Didn’t use pencil. But now I’ve noticed I like doing these on proper paper instead of the sketchbook AND it’s so much more fun to first draw the sketch with the pencil and then draw on it with the fineliners. That I have always done with the comics (apart from one) because they take more time than these quick sketches. But here you can see Farin’s legs on the first image - I think I might have looked at reference photos for that but then it was so much easier to do the to the comic I made in 2019.

I have now also figured out that a big part of my style is not to draw just simple straight lines. I like making those sketch-like lines even with the marker. They look more rough but that’s something I like seeing with my art. That’s what I was missing when I was staring at the lines I had drawn before and hated every detail of them. They were too clean and neat.

^These two I have also drawn on my sketchbook in 2018 and I don’t really know why. I guess I was still a bit stupid and didn’t really realize I’m drawing again. But anyway, they both were inspired by my own fanfiction I have written a long time ago. It’s one of my favorite self-written fanfics and it had these two scenes I just saw in my head and felt like I could try drawing them. Maybe that’s why they are in my sketchbook, I wasn’t sure if they were going to turn out even good... The marker around the second one obviously was shit and the paper wasn’t good for it, and I never finished with it so it looks a bit weird. Do I need to say that I really enjoy drawing very small, repetative details, like those tiles? It’s so soothing, almost like a therapy.

I think that quitting antidepressants in 2013 has done so much good for my creativity. If you compare my work from 2011 to 2019, the difference is huge - all are just parts from my comics:

Can you guess see the difference? But have to admit I am jealous for myself for how I have drawn Farin’s hair to the 2011 one and maybe have forgotten to color Farin’s arm but... I actually had so long pause from drwing (~8 years) that I forgot how I did that and had to use THAT as a reference when I was trying to draw late 80s Farin’s at some point last or this year :D

Anyway, my style with the shadows is a little different when I use colored pencils than when I use markers. This is from my latest comic from this year, where I experimented with Promarkers the way I had never done before and I really like how it came to be:

I have owned this set of Promarkers (black + 5 greys) for years and have never really used them, apart from the black which I usually used for the thick lines anyway. And wanted to see if I could find some use for the greys too! (Yes that’s Bela back there - this comic was an alternative ending for Für Immer music video :D)

And I wanna end this post with a face progress comparison for all three. During this I also noticed that before I used to draw their side profiles and it was really difficult to find images where I’d have drawn from from the front. And nowadays I have mainly drawn them from the front and it’s hard to find side profiles! Interesting! Here’s one of Farin and Bela from a drawing I made this year:

Also the hand that was so much fun to draw but I also took photos of my own hand in that posture in order to even draw that - that was fun! :D

But here are the last three images - using the HELL one as the last for each, of course:

Bela has always been the easiest to draw. And the first one of these three is actually from my first ever Bela&Farin comic! I didn’t color their skin back then. With the next ones I already did color their skins too but I used darker colors to do the shadows. Nowadays I do the shadows with fineliners. Or it depends - that 2019 one doesn’t have that lol.

Damn it was so difficult to find something where I’d have draw Farin from the front :D And I see the HELL one literally is my second (or third) time drawing Farin with his grin. Or if you count all those numerous extra mouths I drew because I failed the first one, then I have drawn his grin at least 15 times by now. I probably can draw his teeth with no reference photos from now on.

I haven’t drawn Rod too many times. I can actually count about... 5 times? And then there’s only 2 times when I’ve drawn his side profile but he’s at the background. I don’t know if I’ve ever really succeeded at that, I usually try to draw his head a more round and his eyes smaller than for Bela and Farin and I was actually bit worried for the HELL one and was wondering if I’m going to ruin the whole thing. But in fact, that was actually easiest of them to draw. And STILL I’m surprised by how alike he looks in that last one. In fact, I think his dacial features are perfect for a carricature drawing so you don’t need to do more than a few lines for the mouth and it looks like his mouth. The middle one was for a drawing I made for a friend and with this I actually looked at photos so that I could draw some of his hairstyles from the 90s and I liked this one the best and it was also quite easy to draw too.

Do I even have to say that I’m not extremely motivated what comes to drawing? I feel like my creative has become what it has never been before. I still don’t really know what to draw but I just feel that whatever it is I’ll start next, it will be good. And if it doesn’t... who cares? I had so much fun with those extra mouths  of Farin which was maybe visible from the video I filmed, and that is what makes drawing worth it. Before I took the drawing process so seriously and a mistake felt like the end of the world but now I laugh at them and make fun of them and don’t take them too seriously. And I always have ways to fix these, or I can redraw. Just like I did with Farin’s mouth (or a half of his face actually) for this newest drawing. The most important thing is that I’m having fun and enjoying what I do, that way usually the outcome will also be a success.

I have now at least 2 dä comics on my to-do list (I don’t remember if there’s a third one too) + one pencil drawing that is halfway there. It will take one more night/day for it to get it finished. I also have probably 5 ideas for self-comics etc. in my sketchbook and I try to find some time to work on those. Or actually I have a plenty of time. Adhd, time blindness and executive dysfunction just make it feel as if I didn’t :D Can’t wait to get working on my next drawing projects, tho!

(I wish I knew how to make art for a living even but that’s a topic that will need its own post which I’m probably do in a near future if I don’t forget :D)

[prxst-n]

           TASK NUMBER EIGHT: high school experiences !!

preston didn’t particularly like these. going back to the past and reliving what he went through. it made his chest knot up and the back of his neck start to ache. some memories even brought the sweat to collect at his palms. but he wasn’t a coward. he... would sit through this and you know what? he was going to be honest, maybe it would be good for him to go back to new york. with a sigh he looked down at the paper, the heart in his chest slowly building as he started off reading. boy this was going to be a wild trip and he wasn’t going to like it. 

trigger warnings below: car accident, suicide mention 

let’s start with the simple stuff first. what classes did you take in high school? which ones were you most and least excited for? did you have a favorite teacher that made the days more enjoyable? 

“basic classes. you know the core classes. english was alright, i really didn’t mind some of the books we had to read, i liked a few of them actually but why the fuck did they have to assign us dome reports all the time? like it really made the books just seem shitty. who cares about picking out every damn part of a character? or the colors used? can’t we just be happy reading a damn book about a guy creating life? that is fucking cool! but noooo, we needed to pick and prod about what the lightning hitting the tree really meant on frankenstein's life.” preston rolled his eyes, he remembered how much he’d complain and just have the teachers tell him to just do as he was told. other then that? no other class really stuck for me, psychology was kinda cool but other then that class was fucking boring. i slept in some classes, skipped others, for the most part i just avoided my teachers. they didn’t want anything to do with me anyway.”

and now, outside of the classroom. did you participate in any extracurricular activities like sports, band, or other clubs? were you apart of the prom planning committee or did your parent always sign up to chaperone field trips? or did you bolt home or to work at the end of the day?

“no... i couldn’t participate in school sports. he hated that, the idea of people actually looking up to me. don’t get me wrong, i wanted to do football, i was big, i was fucking good at football. but he made sure i never joined the team. whatever. i found something better. fighting. it’s not a school activity of course but it was also something he couldn’t stop me from doing. i wasn’t into clubs eiter, they were lame as fuck. but i would work, part time. when i wasn’t working to help my mom or hanging out with my friends. i really tried to stay outta the house as much as i could and with the extra cash i was making serving at some chinese place. i’d go to work and not go home, instead i would fight, stay out late and train until my arms hurt so bad i couldn’t move. it made me feel good when all i wanted to do was lash out.” 

a night to remember. did you go to prom? if so, did you have a date or fly solo, and was it a good time where you danced all night, and what were you wearing? if not, did you have an ‘anti-prom’ party, or why else did you decide not to go? what about other school dances or pep rallies?

“more like a night forgotten if you know what i mean. yeah, i went to prom. it wasn’t anything i really wanted to do to be honest. my girlfriend at the time was flipping her shit though. she made me ask her in front of all our friends... wear a stupid fucking gold tie that i ended up burning in the middle of the dance room just to watch our dean flip his shit and stomp it out. she was pissed as fuck but somehow she thought it was hot and we ended up sneaking to the bathroom and well... need i say more?” he chuckled. preston was just as easy to get his pants off as he was now. 

“you want to know a night to remember? senior pranks. we took it hard as fuck. we broke into the rival schools main offices and stole the statue of their mascot, pretty sure it was a bear. but this statue was fucking huge. then we glued a huge dildo in its mouth, put that thing in the back of a friend’s truck and set it up in our principle’s office. he wasn’t happy. we did smaller shit around school but that was out big prank. opening the award case and filling the thing full of old porno dvds and playboy magazines.” 

some more of the hard hitting q’s. who did you sit with at lunch? did you keep the lock off your locker or decorate it? were your headphones always snaked through your sneeve? was cutting class a normal occurrence or would you never dare? did you ever get detention?

“is this that mean girls movie or some shit? i sat with those friends my mother told me not to sit with, the trouble makers who would start shit with the jocks just because we could. i didn’t care much about school obviously so yeah, finding that spot behind the back stairwell, under the ceramics room where we would smoke cigarettes and pass around cheap vodka in a sprite bottle. it was just a routine. i actually didn’t get caught doing anything too bad, luckily but i had been in detention a few times, for sure. my school didn’t even have lockers, they had tried to push back giving everyone books and stuck to using class sets and removed them my sophomore year.” 

“im not going to sit here and say i was some stereotypical bad ass. but i just really wasn’t good at school but it was better than being at home, i had friends at least and it was a place i could go to have fun when we made it that way. i fucked up my time in school, guess that was my problem.”  

upward and onward. what did you want to be when you were sixteen? was there a career path in mind, a certain college, another route worth taking? were you excited to see your high school in the rearview mirror or was moving on bittersweet?  if you graduated, was it scary or exciting or a mix of both? did you end up where your younger self expected you to? 

“no. i didn’t have a path. i was beaten off of it every night of my fucking life.” preston’s hands clenched. “i wasn’t allowed to have a path. i was told i was not going to do anything but carry out what my mother did. the day my diploma was handed to me i sat on the curb on the front steps of my school and cried. i did. preston chao fucking cried. not of happiness, not because he knew he was getting ready to start something bigger. he cried because he realized that from that point on he had nothing going for him. he... i was nothing from that point on. i would continue to be a stain of a family name, a boy that was afraid to look his father in the eye. i cried because i had no idea where i was going or if i even wanted to make it though the night.” 

“then, i stood up. wiped the tears off my face and went to whatever fucking party i could get the most booze. that was the night i got so wasted and ended up crashing some random fuck’s car that i stole from a party. i never told a soul what i was trying to do that night. my friends just laughed it off as crazy preston shit, my mother cried next to me in bed happy that i was still alive, my father secretly paid for the damages. but that night... i didn’t want to make it.” 

and last but not least. if you could tell your younger self one thing - what would it be?

“fuck. and there it is. that one thing i have been avoiding for...a long time. you know what i would say? i would look myself in the damn eyes and tell myself to stop being a fucking coward. no one wants to hear it but it’s what you are and always have been. you held yourself back for years and all because of one asshole who you think holds you back and is the reason you can’t do shit with your life. well, fuck him. fuck bruce langston and his words that are holding you back. you’re fucking good at football. join the team, you wanted to join art and submit that portrait and you didn’t. listen here you little shit. let yourself be in the spotlight. do it and change everything you think you can’t do because im now learning how wrong i was for being afraid of him. you are bigger than he ever will be.” 

[curtjoey]

。· . ˙ ☀ ⌈ courtney eaton + female + she/her ⌋ yo , have you meet that POGUE , josephine joey curtis , yet ? — no ? well , to give you a little heads up before you do , they’re a TWENTY year old, GROCER, and have been living in coston for SIXTEEN YEARS. since i’ve known them , they’ve reminded me of HALF PAINTED CANVASES, AFTERNOON THUNDERSTORMS , FRESH CUT FRUIT & CITRUS , LATE NIGHT DRIVES , SUNRISE SURF BREAKS , WORN & FADED DENIM , SECRETIVE SMILES . usually they’re quite ENDEARING & ALTRUISTIC but just make sure you keep an eye out for them around town because i heard can be quite CYNICAL & TEMPERAMENTAL as well so here’s hoping they aren’t the ones to undo this whole peace pact they have going on this summer . but just between you & me , i kinda hope it all falls apart . the rivalry keeps this whole boring town interesting . ✏ lou, 26, she/her, aest

yo i’m lou and i have no idea what i’m doing. no seriously, no bloody clue. this is my first time trying my hand at a tumblr roleplay so please hold my hand and tell me i’m doing a good job even if i’m not. i reside in sydney, work in consulting and am currently stuck in my home trying to stop my brain from melting. my hobbies include drinking red wine, ordering food and online shopping. i am here with my wholesome trash baby josephine joey who will ruin your life with a smile. you can hit me up on discord @ fleabag#6681

JOEY CURTIS

“sometimes i worry, i wouldn’t be such a feminist if i had bigger tits.” – fleabag (but also joey curtis at some point. probably)

&& THE BASICS

full name: josephine “joey” meredith curtis birth date: 10 june, 1999 sexuality: bisexual zodiac: gemini mbti: isfp alignment: chaotic neutral temperament: sanguine

&& A PORTRAIT

joey moved to coston when she was four years old, but coston and specifically the cut has been part of who she was since she was born. she’s the unlucky daughter of harriet curtis, a woman who found value in how much attention a man would give to her. a woman who decided to follow a man across the country when she was seventeen only to end up pregnant and with nowhere to go.

she’s thankful she can’t remember those earlier years, the strings of men, the moving from town to town. eventually her mother packed up and moved back to coston after a break up with another boyfriend. it was there that the pair moved in with joey’s beloved grandpa, a staple of the coston community and the owner of a humble greengrocer in town. a man with a huge heart who, despite not having himself, constantly gave back to the community—a trait joey has adopted from her pa.

joey has a big heart, it’s just buried under a lot of dry humour and sarcasm. she doesn’t give away much, you need to put in work if you want to get to know her and it’s always been this way. she wants love, but she watches how freely her mother gives that away and gets taken advantage of. joey wants more for herself, she’s just not sure what.

her mother’s reputation has followed joey as well. it’s that old saying “like mother, like daughter” but with joey it’s not the case at all and a few mistakes with guys when she was younger has earned her the same reputation as her mum. but joey takes it in her stride, and if anybody gets on the wrong side of her she’s not above teaching them a lesson. a lot of coston guys have been met with a knee to their junk courtesy of joey curtis. 

she’s never been one for the spotlight, much preferring to keep the attention off her. throughout school she kept her head down, trying her damnedest to get a scholarship for college. her social life? it existed and she’d go to the occasional party but shit always ended poorly - a fight, some guy trying something that ended with joey kneeing him in the dick. she much preferred spending her time surfing, painting or with people she actually liked (and there weren’t many of them). she knew she needed to work her ass off so the rejections were a huge fucking blow to her pride. joey feels stuck now and  she’s spent the past few years licking her wounds but has started picking up the brush again.

&& HEADCANONS

you can find her at her grandpa’s store most days. she’s basically taken over running the joint as he’s gotten on in age

they donate a lot of their food to families and people in need around the area and what extra money they have her grandpa usually donates

she lives in a small granny flat out the back of her pa’s two bedroom home

has a garage filled with canvases and paintings. her grandpa won’t let her throw out any

lost her virginity at 15 to a fucking kook who told the world about it. it sucked. she hates him. will never date a kook again. 

“yes i did fuck your boyfriend” but not really

early morning surfs are like crack to her

will rip your dick off if you try anything - she has some unresolved anger issues ok, and guess what? you probably deserved it anyway

will tell you she doesn’t give a shit about you but also drop off a care package to your house and tell you it’s from her pa and not her

hopeless romantic who reads austen and swoons about hand touches but would rather choke than admit it

420 and chill

her mum still comes and go’s from coston a lot, following whatever man she’s after at the moment. she always comes back though, to take advantage of joey’s grandpa’s generosity, sleep with the men in town, piss off people and then leave again—but joey won’t ever say a bad word about her, it’s her mum after all 

has no idea who her dad is and has no desire to track him down

desperately wants to get out of coston, has the brains to do so, but has kind of accepted that she’ll likely end up here no matter what

good kid at heart, just got dealt a shitty hand

no she will not paint you nude

&& WANTED CONNECTIONS

support your local girl gang - her ride or dies thank u very much. in this house we stan strong women 

the kook she slept with when she was 15? there could be some animosity between the pair, a bit of angst, unresolved shit 

anything and everything? 

[3wisellamas]

Finale / Misc Boxbot and Voxman family Headcanons

First, some assorted ones based off Thank You for Watching the Show:

-Robbie and Sara are totally Boxman's grandkids, and he and PV spoil the shit out of them whenever they visit, but no single one of the gen 1 Boxbots is their parent -- all six contributed to their design, so the gen 2 bots consider them all combination moms/dads and aunts/uncles.  Though, Robbie tends to stick closest to Jethro and Raymond (especially Ray, he really looks up to him!), and Sara favors Ernesto and Shannon.

-The two of them really only fight as product tests, or for fun/combat training alongside the plaza crew -- Ernesto couldn't care less about the plaza's existence now that Boxman's gone.  They're even friends with the new KO's Bodega employees during their off-hours!  Though, whenever their grandpas visit, the two will go right into Serious Mode and try to wreck the place for real, to try and impress them.

-Darrell was the only robot that actually moved out after the finale, the rest all still live at Boxmore, even if they no longer work there.  With his business skills, he's already the most successful evil farmer (also, like, the only evil farmer, but whatever) in the Neutral Zone, and his family visits him every other weekend.

-He did get upgraded to a robo-young adult, so he could live on his own, but it's not too noticeable.  The only real differences are that he’s just a few inches taller, and now draws with colored pencils as well as crayons.

-He also took in Raymond's pet chickens.

-The bots still frequent the plaza as customers rather than just attackers now, and sometimes hang out with Enid, Rad, the backup Bodega crew, Dendy, and on occasion KO.  Raymond designs fashions for Drupe in between his band's practice sessions, and if Mr Logic gets really busy Shannon sends some of her audience members to help him out.  And, of course, Mikayla's even got a drink named after her at the cat cafe, which she stops in to order whenever she misses her feline friends (especially Teacup)!

-All those portraits, the Jethro mug, and the kitten model Mikayla that Boxman has in his house were Shucksgiving presents, as was Peej's book.  PV knocked on the door right after the kids left from celebrating with him, figuring it would be as good a time as any to finally give him that cake.

-Jethro's actually taken up gardening, and grows flowers around the factory, though they tend to die pretty fast in the windowless hallways.  He once tried to use some of Venomous' leftover gear in the labs in order to engineer them to need less sunlight, and the results were...tentacle-y.

-Boxman and Mr Logic are best friends again.  ;v;  Even if they don't often agree on things, and definitely don't work together anymore, Boxy regularly shows up at Logic's barbershop to get his hair cut and chat, and keeps him in the loop on everything that goes on with the rest of his family.

-When PV and Fink attacked the plaza in their bio-mech suits after returning to Earth, it wasn't actually the bodega employees who defeated them, but Carol, who pretty much just took one look out the window at the fight, said "Oh HECK no," and MESSED HIM UP.  Fink stayed at Boxmore while he recovered in the hospital!

And now, some older, slightly weirder heacanons that I never really bothered to post:

-Doctor Weakpoint and Lord Boxman are mother and son.  As in, yes, this person right here:

is the kinda-joke villain who kept sending robots to destroy POINT, even after some of its original members left.  I also really like @the-golden-ghost's theory about Boxy being an ex-minion, so I think a lot of the other villains' disdain for him comes not just from him being a joke villain, but also a former HENCHMAN to a joke villain.  Plus, she was probably very busy coming up with plans to destroy POINT every single day (and rebuilding Steamborg after he got trashed), hence Boxy taking himself go-karting for each of his birthdays, and eventually leaving to become a more serious villain on his own.  

-He still calls her sometimes, and leaves lots of voicemail about how things are going at Boxmore, but she never answers or calls him back.  ;-;  She does send the kids birthday cards and candy, though, and they love their grandma a lot even if they've never been able to meet her.

-Fink did go to KO's school, like in the episode we were supposed to get.  But she was in class 6-11B, rather than 6-11A like KO and Dendy, and they just never ran into her.

-Kinda dark one, if he gets hungry enough, Darrell has no problem with trying to hunt down and eat other robots, particularly his own clones (since it's not like there's ever a shortage of him around, plus their brains are extra tasty).  Don't let him skip a meal, ever, and if you do...keep an eye on the vents.

-The entrance to Shadowy Figure's lair in Professor Venomous' house was literally just kept hidden under a rug.  He also sometimes accidentally left glorbs or his scarf around the house, since sometimes he would lose control and start to shift back to PV unexpectedly.  The only reason PV never noticed is because he's just THAT MUCH of a dumbass sometimes.

-I see that the fandom's caught on to the idea of Laserblast having a crush on Boxman long before even becoming a villain, and I LOVE it, but I raise you this:  Boxman had a huge crush on Laserblast as well when he was first starting out with villainy.  Attacking POINT with that junkfish cake may or may not have been one of his many excuses to see Laser again, and he even got some inspiration to work on laser weapons for his own creations from him.  

-Boxman already knew who PV was LONG before the man finally decided to tell him about his backstory, because of this.  

-Alternatively, the reason Boxy became a supervillain and tried to attack POINT in the first place?  Because Laserblast snubbed him for a date, solely due to the whole "heroes shouldn't date villains" thing.

-Mikayla’s head literally was prototyped using one of Boxman’s old guitars.  He doesn’t know how to play, like his sons, he just owned it to look cool.

-There was a short period of time, like three-four months, between Boxmore's completion and Lakewood Plaza Turbo's construction, in which Lad Boxman and Mr Logic actually did attack POINT and do petty villainy, in addition to their new manufacturing jobs.  Logic was the brains, coming up with lots of schemes and handling all the logistics, and Boxman was the brawn, putting together new robots to fit their needs and carrying out the actual operations.  Needless to say, NONE of their efforts were successful, or even memorable, as they were pretty easily outclassed by other, more established villains. 

-Jethro's arms and legs have been there from the beginning, and were supposed to be for an upgrade that Boxman never actually implemented.  He just didn't give enough of a shit to ever remove them from production. 

-Leggy Jethro is his real mind, and is what runs underneath the more basic programming in the rest of his hivemind.  He just never had the ability to actually come out and express himself, without the extra glorbs' energy.  The other Jethros know they're him deep down but aren't able to fully understand why they feel...different.  Not themselves.  Hence, why they keep trying to assure themselves and others that they ARE Jethro...  

[shanghai-ohmy]

MaoMaoctober Day 24: Trickster

Welcome back, G-rated fics! In today’s fic, a string of thefts breaks out across Pure Heart Valley. Badgerclops is on the case. Mao Mao connects the dots. Snugglemagne is also there. Read it on AO3, or under the cut.

It was the third theft in a week, and it was even more brazen than the last two. Mao Mao stalked around the scene as Badgerclops and Adorabat placed down evidence markers. Sunlight streamed through the shattered glass of the skylight. Where there should have been a rich tapestry on the wall, there was now only empty space.

"Oh, it's absolutely horrible!" King Snugglemagne lamented, throwing his hand against his head dramatically. "My beautiful palace, vandalized! And my precious self-portrait, stolen!"

Badgerclops patted him on the back. "There there, it's not so- wait, SELF portrait? You weave?!"

The king turned his nose up indignantly. "I have many talents, thank you very much!"

Mao Mao slammed his fist on a nearby table, startling both of them. "It doesn't make any sense!" He glared at the bare wall. "What's the message? The motive? Why steal a prized tapestry from the king?"

"Political unrest?" Adorabat suggested.

"Raw, visceral attraction to the king's hot body?" Badgerclops posited.

Mao Mao shot him a withering look. He addressed Adorabat's theory instead. "That's a good instinct Adorabat, but it doesn't have enough backing. There haven't been any recent upsets, and King Snugglemagne is very popular with the sweetypies right now."

"Perhaps it wasn't a sweetypie at all," the king said nervously.

Mao Mao's eyes widened. "That's it! These aren't local crimes at all! Someone is trying to send me a message!"

"Hey man," Badgerclops interrupted, "I know it's like, your hunch and all, but why does the message have to be for you and not me? I used to hang out with literal thieves, remember?"

Mao Mao shushed him. "Badgerclops please, don't be ridiculous. This case could only be meant to challenge me, the legendary Mao Mao! It'll be my greatest investigation yet!"

Badgerclops huffed, crossing his arms.

"Um, Mao Mao?" Adorabat asked. "How do you solve a mystery?"

Mao Mao grinned. "Just watch me, Adorabat. You're about to find out." He swept out of the room, cape billowing behind him. Adorabat flew in his wake, dazzled.

A bright flash painted the room in stark white contrast. Badgerclops remained behind, photographing the crime scene. He carefully examined each piece of evidence. As he glanced over the shards of skylight glass, he noticed something out of place.

---

“The first thing you need to do is establish a motive,” Mao Mao explained. “Who would hate me enough to track down Pure Heart Valley and threaten the king?”

“The sky pirates?”

“It’s possible.” Mao Mao pinned a blurry photo of Orangusnake to the corkboard behind their office desk. Already up on the wall were newspaper clippings about the three thefts that had occurred, along with a map of the city. “But I suspect this crime is too high-minded for the sky pirates. This thief is playing games with us. Toying with us. And I can think of one tanuki who just loves to play games.” He pinned a photo of himself with Tanya Keys to the board and pointed at her face.

“But I thought she liked you again after we saved Badgerclops!”

Mao Mao sighed. “Tanya is a complicated woman, Adorabat. She could be sending me a message. Or she might have turned on us again. But she has all the right motives for revenge!”

“Umm… does she?”

“Of course! I mean, we… um, she and the king… hm.” Mao Mao put his hand on his chin, thinking.

“What about a bad guy you and Badgerclops fought from before you came here?”

“That’s it! Adorabat, you’re a genius!” Mao Mao flung open a desk drawer and began to sort through a pile of mugshots clipped from newspapers. “Let’s see, the Honeybee Bandits were released a few weeks ago, Red-Eyes Rex got out last month, The Scorcher really had it out for us when we put her away…” He mumbled to himself as he pulled out potential suspects. A few moments later, they were all pinned to the board. 

“Okay, Adorabat. Let’s narrow the field.” Mao Mao went criminal by criminal, explaining their methods and how he and Badgerclops had caught them. He and Adorabat argued over motive, modus operandi, and possible alibis for every one. After an exhaustive process, they’d narrowed it down to a field of four suspects.

“And now for the real work.” Mao Mao pulled a ball of red string from the desk.

“I thought you said it was time for work… why are you getting out your favorite ball of yarn?”

“Huh? Sorry Adorabat, what did you say? I was… distracted.” Mao Mao’s claws were out. There was string tangled between his fingers. His pupils quickly contracted again as he snapped out of it.

“ANYWAY, the board!” He turned his attention back to the suspects. “Hmm…” He rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

“Hmm,” Adorabat mimicked, copying the motion too.

---

Badgerclops trailed the suspect carefully. It wasn’t easy work; he was huge compared to the sweetypies, and his fur pattern was very distinctive. Even Mail Mole could see him coming. So he’d requisitioned a car with tinted windows instead of following on foot. It was cramped, but effective. 

The target made a sharp turn into a park. Badgerclops swore. Had he been noticed? The car wouldn’t be able to follow in there. He had to make a choice: ditch the car and hoof it, or try to anticipate the suspect’s point of exit. Reluctantly, he parked. This was too close to over. He couldn’t risk losing the trail now. He’d make it work on foot, somehow. 

He slipped into the park. His suspect was nearly out of view, nothing more than a distant figure. But he couldn’t run; that would make his pursuit far too obvious. He followed at a distance, taking different paths and keeping trees between them. Sometimes he’d lose sight of the target, but never for long.

They exited the park. Badgerclops could feel it now. The thief’s stash was close. All he needed now was a chance.

---

“My god, Adorabat.” Mao Mao looked shell-shocked. “It goes all the way to the top.”

A tangle of red string criss-crossed the corkboard, a baffling series of connections twisting and angling around one another. Many of them converged to a newly-added picture of King Snugglemagne, a glamorous headshot adorned with his signature.

“It all makes sense now…” Mao Mao stepped back, awed at his own conclusion.

“Umm, can you please explain it one more time?”

Mao Mao sighed. “Adorabat, please. It’s very simple. King Snugglemagne faked the theft of his own self-portrait, along with the two earlier burglaries, because he’s under immense blackmail pressure from Red-Eye.” He traced his claw along the connecting string. “The details in these articles line up exactly with Falkestrasse’s Ten Behaviors of the Blackmailed-” he pointed to a sheet of paper that looked like it had been ripped from a textbook. “But the king doesn’t know that Red-Eye is actually Tanya Keys disguised as Red-Eye Rex. She’s scamming him for his fortune with a fake blackmail scheme. Of course, the king himself set up the blackmail as part of a-”

Before he could continue, Badgerclops kicked the front door open. “Yo, Mao Mao! Get the jail cell open!”

“Badgerclops?! What are you-”

“LET ME GO! I’LL KILL YOU ALL! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M CAPABLE OF!” Pinky wriggled fruitlessly in Badgerclops’s mechanical grasp, screaming at all three members of the sheriff’s department.

Mao Mao laughed. “Hah, I guess the mystery was too hard for you, huh Badgerclops? Back to arresting Pinky for petty crimes again?” He swung the jail cell open. “What was it this time?” He asked Pinky. “Steal another ice cream?”

Pinky spat at him. “I want my lawyer! It’s my tapestry! I already had it!”

“Tapestry?”

Badgerclops slammed the cell door shut and locked it. “Yeah Mao Mao, tapestry! The big thing that got stolen? Remember?”

“No, that’s… that’s not possible, Badgerclops!” Mao Mao laughed nervously. “It can’t be Pinky! I mean, look at the evidence!” He gestured to the unintelligible mass of string and paper pinned to the wall. “I figured it all out!”

“It’s actually very simple,” Adorabat explained. “You see-”

Badgerclops cut her off. “Adorabat, do you want to learn how to solve a mystery?”

She nodded.

“Step one, you review the evidence. You know, the ACTUAL evidence?” He dropped a manila folder on the table, fanning out an array of photographs from it. The crime scene was meticulously documented. “Before you go making any assumptions about how the crime is really all about you-” he glared pointedly at Mao Mao- “you need to examine everything thoroughly.” Badgerclops pulled out a photo and showed Adorabat. “This sliver of glass had a tiny bit of blood on it. AND: pink fur.”

Adorabat gasped.

“BEING PINK ISN’T A CRIME!” Pinky hollered from the jail cell.

“Dude shut up, I’m trying to have a parlor scene here!” Badgerclops walked over to the cage and pulled a tarp down over it, muffling the sound. “Ahem. Step two is to find a suspect. Obviously the pink fur was a major clue. Now it could be a red herring, laid by a clever criminal to misdirect us. But in this case, we already have the perfect perp.” He gestured towards the covered jail cell. “Pinky’s fur matches, he has the motive of being a generally horrible person, and he’s always been kinda weirdly into the king. It makes sense that he’d steal the tapestry.”

“Next you need to track your suspect down and see what you can find out about them. This part’s really important, even if you have the perfect suspect, because it might be a frame job. Now, Pinky is easy to find thanks to the general unpleasantness he inspires, so I was able to get on his trail within a few minutes. I tailed him for about an hour before he went for his stash. He slipped into a closed-up storefront, and when I followed him I found THIS!”

Badgerclops slapped a photo down on the table. What it depicted could only be described as a shrine. The tapestry hung proudly from a wall, flanked by candles and various Snugglemagne memorabilia. “Half of this stuff was filed as stolen goods, and you can see the two thefts from earlier this week in there too.” Badgerclops pointed out a couple of the objects. “Anyway, I secured the whole scene and took Pinky into custody. And now we’re here.” He folded his hands pleasantly.

Adorabat was starstruck.

Mao Mao cleared his throat. “Badgerclops, I… I’m impressed. That’s some top notch detective work.”

“But you had fun with your string, right?”

Mao Mao crossed his arms and fumed. “I was trying to be nice.”

Badgerclops patted him on the head. “I know. But you were kind of a jerk earlier, so…” Badgerclops stuck his tongue out. “I caught the bad guy and you didn’t! Ha ha!”

Mao Mao wanted to punch him, but he knew Badgerclops was right to gloat. He’d messed this one up pretty bad. “Yeah yeah, keep going. You were right and smart, I’m a dumb asshole, blah blah blah.”

Badgerclops’s eye softened. “You’re not dumb, Mao Mao. You just got carried away.” He kissed him on the forehead. Mao Mao blushed all the way up to his ears.

“You are an asshole though.”

[destinywillowleaf]

SWN-002 Wing Man

“That's the power of love!”

Wingman was created by Dr. Wily in an attempt to beat Mega Man in a field outside of battle by harnessing the power of love. Wing Man has flight capability and wields a piercing arrow called his "Cupid Crossbow". Being designed to defeat Mega Man through love, Wing Man has a large board dedicated to unravelling his love life. Similar boards exist for Proto Man and Bass, forming the "Tiny Trio". He'd call them the Big Three, but they're short.

Wing Man likes cheesy romcoms and dislikes Proto Man (for being hard to read). His strong point is his dedication to his task, though he can become blinded by the task at hand and not remember the other couples he's trying to get together.

This took longer than I expected to actually write and get out to share.

With this year’s Valentine’s contest over(courtesy of rockmiyabideusexmachina), I can finally talk about this boy! He was so much fun to make and I’m definitely gonna be using him more in the future. I’ve got a lot of thoughts on him, the stages of his design, and a lot of pictures, so it’s gonna be under the cut.

Now that that’s outta the way, let’s get into the process of Wing!

...I thought we were talking about Wing Man, who’s this?

Meet “Playboy Bunny”, this duality of a Maverick and the first draft of a character for this contest. Usually she’s the sweet Playboy Bunny, a majorly human-like Reploid acting as a performer. However, once you’ve provoked her, she throws off the sweet guise and becomes Magnet Hare, the quick and fast-attacking Maverick with attractive properties. 

To be honest, I’m half wondering if I would’ve done better if I had done more with her design and actually gone with her instead. The main reason I didn’t go with her in the end was cause I thought someone else was gonna go with it and then there would’ve been repeats.

I might come back and do more doodles of her someday, refining her design to be less human with bunny accessories and more rabbit/bunny with human-like proportions. 

The very first drawings of Wing Man. The only thing I really had down at this point were the general heart-shapes, his name, and his weapon’s name. The one on the left was the first draft, and the right one was a case of “should he actually have wings or nah?”. The name actually came to me when I was sitting in class and I think that’s part of the reason I got attached. The pun name is probably the biggest holdover from Bunny, though another element did come by later…

This is where the magic happened. The front-facing sketch was the first real attempt and trying to figure out what I wanted from him. I knew that he should have a general heart-shape for his chest armor, and maybe his helmet could follow the same idea with one in the center. It took a bit to look through the other Robot Master helmet designs, but I feel like Wing’s looks like it could fit with everyone else’s. At one point I was considering giving him a heart braid kinda like Tundra’s, but I wound up scrapping it. I think it was because I was sick of braids after doing so many for Nahyuta…

Then some arrows! I couldn’t decide whether to have actual arrows or energy arrows, but I feel like the energy arrows make it look more unique. And the first appearance of the bowtie! I didn’t even know if I was gonna give him one at first but once I made the doodle I knew it was gonna stay. Bunny has a bow, too, but hers was just a regular ribbon one. 

The collapsible crossbow was something I knew I wanted from the start, because Wing’s not a huge fighter. He will fight to achieve his goals, and sometimes it’s more necessary than at other times, but it’s easier to have it folded outta the way. The “string” of the crossbow forms when it is expanded out, and then he can start firing his weapon.

Also, his boot. Simple enough design. Not much to be said. Same goes for the side profile, I was just trying to get a better feel for his design.

I was debating for a while about whether or not to actually give Wing Man wings. On the one hand, it’d help for the joke of him being a wingman and a wing(ed) man, but on the other hand I don’t like drawing wings because I still don’t really understand them all too well.

The bottom center image was a pretty defining part of making Wing, to be honest. It’s probably one of my favorite drawings/doodles of him just because of the causal nature of suggesting a relationship with someone(and it’s up to you to decide who it is) and Rock’s immediate reaction of fear/concern. I don’t screw around with expressions enough anymore…

I don’t have any versions of this page without color on it, but that’s because this was a color testing page. I wanted to test out my physical colors first before spending too much time digitally experimenting, and I had two main ideas: either red-pen red in varying pressures or coral Sharpie highlighter. By the final design, you can tell which one I went with. I wanted to compare them side-by-side, and the half-and-half wasn’t really cutting it for me. I did a second comparison on the other page(which is gonna be further down this post).

I was trying to get a better grasp on the wings, too, since I eventually decided just to go for it and make it more of a pun.I couldn’t decide if I wanted the wings like on top of the jetpacks or off to the sides, but I went with on top of the jets in the end. The off to the side wings were taken from how Tengu Man’s “wings” are positioned. As for the wings themselves… I was honestly mostly taking reference from Pit’s emotion portraits from Kid Icarus Uprising. I had the image with all of his different emotions and it wasn’t like Wily would be going for complete accuracy how big wings would need to be since, y’know, jetpack.

The color scheme of the wings also changed over time, and I think probably for the better. Layering the colors instead of just making a weird gradient overtop looks nicer(even if those colors could probably use some refinement all things considered). I was also deciding on the weapon “type” for the crossbow, since Megaman’s weapon get picture is on this page. Piercer seemed like it would fit the best, going through multiple enemies in a straight shot.

Designing the ability get was actually pretty simple, which I’m glad about. I wanted to go more off of the Megaman 11 style of weapon get, altering the helmet, arm, and color only, and I wanted to stick to that. I also wanted to keep two of Wing’s more defining elements - his bow and wings - on the ability get, so I moved them from Wing’s torso to Rock’s helmet.

Alongside the ability get, an unfinished battle scene. Nothing too special here.

I tried the color testing thing again, and it was here, I believe, that I first settled on the idea of “hey what if he looked like he was wearing a suit or something” and colored it accordingly. The color on the feet honestly sold me on the left one, because the cherry-red was beautiful and it was just red pen under the highlighter. I was happy with the pieces I had and started to put it all together into the final product…

Every Robot Master needs a pose for their artwork, and Wing was gonna be no different. I could’ve gone for something more dramatic, I know, but I was really really happy how the posing turned out for the one on the left. The smaller one on the right was more for fun and was messing around with some line thickness. There’s also less feathers because I was kinda lazy.

The main reason I have him sitting is because I think his boss entrance, were he to be fought in a typical arena, would have him pulling a Meta Knight and coming down from a high ledge to attack. Saying his pre-battle line, sliding/jumping down from on-high, and with a flourish, the battle begins.

Also I just wanted to draw my boy looking cute. Sue me.

The physical version of Wing sitting(on the left) is what I had initially been going for in color scheme, with a lot less coral-ish colors in the mix. Trying to recreate those colors, however, was a problem, so for all intents and purposes this is what I hold as why he's really supposed to look like. But with a complete physical form, what's next?

...hoo boy.

Trying to make the leap from physical to digital was a pain. I realized after I had essentially finalized the physical sketch of Wing posing that the helmet and face kind of made no sense. I spent a while trying to make it right and nothing worked how I wanted it to so I eventually just moved on from that. 

One thing to know is that I basically only work in MS Paint. I don’t have any other digital drawing software on my computer and the tablet available to me doesn’t respond to styluses as far as I can gather. So taking the widely-varying-in-color picture and making it not like that was something I had to remember how to do because otherwise I was gonna suffer the consequences. I knew it had to do with outlines but apparently Paint didn’t want to accept my drawn outlines and would only take ones made in the software. And jpgs were pixel-y, which I forgot since the last time I was extensively using the software.

Once I had my system back, I made the silhouette and digitalized “I’m just sayin” as a practice round of sorts. But with the simple pieces out of the way… the time came for making the whole reference sheet. The pose, the front and side views, the shipping board to serve as a back view, the wings, the Weapon Get, the weapon, and the little character-defining details.

Save states fill most of this folder for a reason. Working with what I had and going over and through everything to make sure I had all the pieces ready, making saves before the background deletion so I would just have outlines, and just hoping that this was all gonna be worth the work.

One of the more… challenging, I guess, parts of the design process for Wing: trying to give him a unique silhouette. Including the wings was, in part, because of this. Most, if not every Robot Master has a unique silhouette that you can look at and say “Oh that’s [name here]” or at least be able to tell them apart. Whether it’s fire, a boomerang, a snake tail, a lightbulb, a weird body shape, or their arms, there’s something to set each one apart. And I wanted Wing to have that same feeling, so if you were to see a blacked-out version of him you could still tell that it was Wing and not someone else.

Without the wings, he’d probably resemble a downgraded Quick Man - which makes sense, considering I was using Quick’s body shape as a base for Wing’s for a more subtle top of a heart. But I didn’t want Wing just to look like Worse Quick Man, so the wings had to stay. The crossbow helps in that regard too, but the wings really set him apart.

This is what I’m talking about. He looks like a generic character without the wings.

Trying to keep Wing in the same vein of design as other Robot Masters was also, I guess, the reason I used the colors I did. Robot Masters typically don’t have too many colors, and didn’t want Wing to be a colorful mess. Maybe I could’ve had another more striking color in his design, but I’m happy with the colors I have. Reds and pinks and white with a skin tone taken from the physical doodles that I tried to have be a brownish-cherry if that makes any sense. Like it was supposed to still be in the red(kinda orange) family of colors but still be distinct enough as a skin tone. I didn’t want to have too many variations on colors, but I do think I could’ve done better on some of the distributions(and holding onto the idea of “stop using so many colors”).

Like I said, I consider the physical drawing to be the true colors of Wing, and the digital can’t quite capture the physical.

...Okay, I think that’s everything I wanted to say. If you actually read through this entire monstrosity of a post, thank you. I do have a full colored version of the "I'm just sayin'" that'll go up eventually because it was fun.

[asksigynwifeofadumbass]

Locked Up In A Lie

Words: 2,028

Warnings: They almost have sex, Abuse, Attempted sexual abuse, Blood.

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Sigyn and Loki began to have an affair in secret. Everyday Loki would come to Sigyn’s garden and spend time there with her doing anything they liked; Like gardening, reading, make flower crowns, hugging, eating and make out. One day, Sigyn skipped a meeting with Theoric and his parents because of Loki’s arrival. She ran to the garden’s gate finding her lover with some books in hand.

-Good morning, darling -Loki put his hand on Sigyn’s waist so he could kiss her.

-My King -Sigyn whispered against Loki’s lips.

Loki surprised Sigyn by carrying her in his arms making her chuckle. Loki brought her under a tree. They sat on the grass and Loki began to read book to Sigyn. Minutes later, Sigyn was faded into sleep thanks to calm voice of her lover, Loki looked at Sigyn who was sleeping and noticed how her face was marked by some eye bags.

-My Love, do you stay up the rest of the night thinking about me? because under your shining eyes are bags.

Sigyn was woken up by Loki’s voice and rubbed her eyes -Sorry, Sweetie, it’s just because I’m waking up early.

-Why?

-My mother has been giving me this lessons for about manners or something -That was a lie she stayed up late helping her mother with the preparations of her wedding -And also I’m getting up early so I can be perfect for you and not make you wait

Loki cupped Sigyn’s face -But you’re already perfect for me not matter what, Love, besides you should sleep more because you deserve it for trying to put up with your parents and not hidding about us.

-Yes but I want to enjoy every moment before - She suddenly stopped talking. Sigyn lied about Theoric and the arranged to Loki saying that her parents want her to be an eternal virgin and that Theoric was some family friend. Lies something "surprising" from the lover of the God of Lies and Trickery.

-Before what, Sigyn? -He said with a serious tone on his voice that scared her. Her mind was blank without an answer. Loki made a frown and rolled his eyes -Sigyn, tell me.

-I think my parents will take me somewhere far away in some days, I basically don’t know -She answered -And I’m scared that I won’t come back.

Loki kissed Sigyn’s cheek and hugged her tightly -I won’t let them take you away from me.

-Really? -She said with a little hope.

Loki’s face was gleeming with determination -Sigyn, I promise you that I’ll never let you slip through my fingers and I’ll protect you no matter what -He locks his lips with Sigyn making them unite in warm kiss. Sigyn sat on Loki’s lap and her ass was slightly touching his bulge -Ahhh... Sigyn -He moaned her name softly while she started to kiss parts of his neck making him moan more. Loki led his hands under Sigyn’s dress making contact with her legs making her have a goosebump by how cold his hands were but still the raven haired gentleman let himself to continue. His hands finally landed on the blonde’s ass and squish it a little bit while Sigyn was marking Loki like hers, spreading hickeys all over his neck to behind his ear -Sigyn... Are you sure of this?... Do you want this?

She with a flushed face and her lip being bitten by her teeth said -Of course, Loki, I want to be yours and you mine... -She whispered and united their lips in a hot kiss but something in Sigyn’s heart, maybe guilt, wanted to get out.

It was the hole arranged marriage situation. Sigyn wanted to tell him but she was afraid that he was gonna feel betrayed and leave her there. She didn’t want to risk losing Loki, she wanted him in her life no matter what -Sigyn! -But Yvette’s call to her interrupted the kiss. The blonde ran to her mother leaving Loki alone -There you are! Sigyn, we need to leave.

-But mum! -Yelled the blonde but Yvette slapped her across.

Yvette was in anger -NO BUTS AND YELLING TO ME! WE NEED TO GO NOW! -A red mark was left in Sigyn’s cheek while her eyes started to shine by tears. Yvette rolled her eyes and put a hand around Sigyn -Come on, let’s fix you up.

Sigyn looked where Loki was and saw his icy blue eyes glitter through the limbs and leaves of the trees and bushes of the garden while her mother took her inside the mansion. Loki’s heart ached to have seen his Sigyn being scolded without a reason and let it happen. His nails were piercing the palm of his hand by the anger he had at Sigyn’s mother and himself. She’ll go away, Loki thought to himself, I promised her that I would protect her.

Sigyn and her mother were welcomed by Theoric and his mother into their huge home. A forced smile in the blonde’s lips was formed when they got close to them -Astrid, Theoric, thank you for the invite -Said Sigyn trying to not be annoyed at presence of Theoric.

-Oh well... you two are welcome but now, Sigyn, don’t call me by my name, if you like call me mother -The blonde cringed when she heard the words her future mother in law said.

-Ok, so what’s the need to have this meeting? -Asked Yvette.

-We need portraits of me and Sigyn so we won’t be excused out of our wedding -Answered Theoric.

-And also that means that we finally chose your wedding gown, Sigyn -Added Astrid. Sigyn was surprised.

Already? The planning is going so quickly I thought at least it would take 9 months of planning, Sigyn thought disturbed it’s only been 3 weeks since they begin planning [The week they started planning is the same when she met Loki in the ball], If they keep going like this I’ll wake up in the ceremony in a dress saying “I do”.

-So Theoric, Excuse us three so your bride can wear her dress -Said Astrid while her, Sigyn and Yvette followed her to a room where a mannequin was wearing a sleek and elegant white dress, mermaid style with beautiful, shiny silver patterns. It was beautiful but when Sigyn imagined herself in a dress getting married she didn’t smile neither if she was imagining marrying Loki or Theoric she didn’t smile -Isn’t it a beauty? You’ll look like a Queen in it. Now let’s get you in!

Sigyn was fitted perfectly to her body but still didn’t felt nothing neither when she saw herself in the mirror. Theoric was led into the room by Yvette and Astrid, he was in an elegant marriage suit but Sigyn didn’t care at all what he did, and later the two got locked up in the room by their own mothers. Sigyn rushed to the door and, banged and kick it but nothing worked.

-Mum! Astrid! -Yelled the blonde while Theoric stand there like nothing was happening -Please open the door! -Sigyn looked at Theoric that was doing nothing -Why aren't you helping me?

Theoric sitted in a chair with a serious expression on his face -I already know they would do this... because I told them to.

-Why? -She asked nervously shaking.

-Because I have underappreciated you this past weeks -Theoric poured in two glasses wine and then get up to her -But thinking about it you’re so precious and beautiful. If your beauty is like this imagine how you would be in the bed? 

Sigyn slapped him -You’re such a pig - She got away from Theoric but they were locked, she was trapped.

-You know I don’t mind that sometime I like it kinda rough -He said while a perverted smile was on his lips.

Theoric begin trying to get close to Sigyn ending up cornering her -Theoric, you and I know that this marriage is nothing but because our parents are friends and money.

-And what? That doesn’t mean we can’t have fun -Theoric by force grabbed her face and forced a kiss between the two.

Theoric throwed her to a sofa and got up on her and tried to get her out of her clothes but Sigyn’s hand was throwed to Theoric’s face making him fell to the ground. Sigyn got up and tried to open the door, it was still locked -You can’t get away of here nor me, Sigyn.

Sigyn looked at the window and throwed herself through it breaking the glass getting her out of the mansion. Sigyn, with all her strengths, was trying to run even with all the cut and glass in her body but at least she was far away from them to a forest. A caw was heard from the skies, Sigyn didn’t give attention to it while she was trying to run. From her back she glimpsed a green gleam but still she was running away.

-Sigyn!  Don’t run! -She heard from behind a yell of a familiar voice. Is that?, She thought, No! He must be in his palace. Something got in front of her blocking her path. When she gave it a good look she saw it was her lover -It’s me, darling -Sigyn got close to Loki and hugged him tightly and began to cry. Loki noticed the broken glass, the cuts, the blood and the wedding dress in Sigyn -Sigyn, what happened to you?

Sigyn couldn’t with everything and she snapped -I LIED! ALL OF THIS TIME I LIED TO YOU SO YOU COULDN’T LEAVE ME WITH THEM! -She cried leaving Loki confused -MY PARENTS ARRANGED ME INTO MARRIAGE AND MY FIANCE ALMOST RAPES ME! I JUST DIDN'T WANT YOU AWAY!-Sigyn broked down to the floor.

Loki’s heart cracked a little to hear that the woman who he was trusting and falling in love with was lying to him all the time and mostly she was betrothed with another man. He had the wishes to yell and cry but Sigyn was bleeding herself out and could be near death’s door also he could hear how horses were getting close to them. Loki carried Sigyn and began to run away from the forest to go to the palace. While Loki was running, Sigyn began to agonize and fade out to death.

-Come on, Sigyn! -He said. Loki began to see the garden of his home -We’re almost there, darling, hold still -Got into the gardens and fell to the grass with Sigyn. He huffed and chuckled -Heh... That was such a terrifying moment, isn’t it, Sigyn? -She didn’t respond. She was lying still in the grass -I FORGOT!

Loki got Sigyn on his arms and directed himself to his mother’s room. He ran through the huge halls of the palace getting the attention of servants because he was carrying a dying person on his arms. He got to Frigga’s room where Frigga, Thor, Odin and some servants were eating. Making the peace that was in the room would be destroyed by the arrival of Loki with Sigyn in his arms bleeding -Loki, what happened?

-Mother, please help her! -He cried out laying Sigyn’s body in his parents’ bed.

-Ladies, can you please bring the healers here, IMMEDIATELY! -Ordered Frigga to the servants that with fast pace got out of the room -Loki, my dear, what happened?

-She jumped out of a wind- Loki stopped talking because he felt a hand over his. He noticed it was Sigyn’s hand.

Sigyn’s eyes were glaring at Loki with a weak smile -Loki... -The blonde said with all her strengths -I’m sorry -Sigyn closed her eyes.

-NO! -The prince yelled -SIGYN!

-Thor, take Loki away! -Frigga ordered and her son followed it.

The blonde man took his brother out of the room as the healers and servants were getting into the room while Loki tried to get off of Thor’s grip and get to Sigyn.

-SIGYN! -Loki breakaway of Thor’s grip and tried to get into room but the door was locked. And in that moment, Loki’s heart sank.

[murasaki-murasame]

Thoughts on Fruits Basket 2019 Episode 6: “Perhaps We Should Invite Ourselves Over”

If I had have been into this series when I was younger, I probably would have had a big gay crush on Kyo and Haru, but now that I’m in my early 20′s, let’s just say that Hatori can GET IT.

Anyway, this was another great episode, and I still really like the decisions they’ve been making with the pacing and the arrangement of events for the reboot. It all feels very natural and smooth, though it probably won’t please everyone.

Thoughts under the cut.

So in this episode we have chapters 7 and 9, or maybe I should say 9 and 7, since that’s the order they got arranged in, lol. It’s actually how I wanted them to handle it, since it works a lot better to have the sleepover happen at the end of the episode, so I’m happy with how it turned out.

It’s kinda interesting how the biggest changes in pacing the reboot has made have revolved around having stuff related to the culture festival happen earlier than they did in the manga. We had chapter 8 adapted back in episode 3, and now we have chapter 9 adapted right before the sleepover part. I think it’s a good choice all around. It helps make the reboot feel a bit less ‘episodic’ than the manga or the 2001 anime, if that makes sense. Like, instead of having the culture festival get brought up and then happen all in one episode, it’s set up a few episodes before it actually starts. It’s kinda hard to explain why I like it, but I do.

Even aside from how shuffling things about like this helped out the culture festival part, I’m happy that they didn’t spend TOO much time on the sleepover part to begin with. The episode in the 2001 anime where they spend an entire episode on it is one of my least favourite parts of the whole thing, since the comedy filler they had to add was super unfitting with the rest of the story’s tone, and it got really repetitive really fast. It worked a lot better here. For one thing, having it only take up half of this episode means that we still got introduced to Momiji and Hatori in this same episode, and it ended with the cliffhanger of Tohru getting invited to the Soma estate. In the 2001 anime, the sleepover episode felt very filler-y because the ONLY thing that happened in it was the sleepover, and they even cut out the hat scene, so there was absolutely no set-up for any future plot points in that episode. This episode feels a lot more substantial.

Also, I think I kinda prefer the sleepover getting done at this point in the story even more than how the manga did it. I always thought it was a bit awkward how abruptly we just get a sudden flashback in the manga to Tohru telling Uo and Hana about her living situation, but I think it was really neat that we got to see Uo and Hana get gradually more and more suspicious as the culture festival went on, until they eventually confronted Tohru about it. It also meant we got to see Tohru go ‘I’m not DATING him, I’m just LIVING with him, lol’, which was amazing. I just think it all flowed together surprisingly naturally, considering how substantially this episode was swapping and rearranging chapters. It kinda says a lot about how episodic the first few volumes of the manga were, that the reboot’s shuffled stuff about so much without it being noticeable.

This isn’t really any sort of a change from how it’s been handled before, but I still think it works really nicely to have the sleepover happen right after what happened in the last episode, since the theme of found families gets expanded upon as we see that Uo and Hana pretty much took Tohru in after her mother died, and they’ve been looking out for her ever since. I wish more anime could take notes from this series and have these kinds of strong female friendships.

I’ve seen a lot of people say that they don’t like Momiji’s voice in there reboot, and I can see that, but I don’t really mind it. I haven’t seen the dub version of this episode yet, though. I’m curious to see how both voice actresses handle things in the long run, since Momiji’s physical growth is a pretty commented-on thing in the manga.

In terms of things I didn’t really like in this episode, one super minor thing was that they didn’t seem to have any sparrow symbolism going on in the Akito scene, unlike the manga. Maybe I just missed it, but if they really didn’t include anything like that, then it feels like a bit of a missed opportunity.

And on the topic of Akito, I’ve also been seeing some people say that they dislike how ‘obvious’ the “““twist”““ is, and honestly all I can say is that maybe people should step back and consider that if it ends up being so unavoidably obvious that Akito’s a girl when she’s voiced by a woman and has a naturally feminine/androgynous design, maybe that just means that it ends up being a pretty transparent secret, lol. tbh, the entire concept of treating Akito’s gender as this huge mystery we all have to keep just feels really contrived. It doesn’t impact the story at all, at least not until waaaaay later. I think it’s very telling of how unimportant it actually is that the reaction of everyone who either gets spoiled about it or just ‘guesses right’ the first time they see her is “oh ok then”. Because that’s really the only response you can have to it. It’s just not that big of a deal, at least now until we find out the exact circumstances of it all way later on. I know that I’m kinda biased and bitter about this whole plot point, but I feel like it’s going to be one of the things that falls the most flat with modern audiences. Most people are just gonna be put off by the idea that Akito being a girl should be seen as shocking and scandalous, and I think that a lot of people are gonna be annoyed when it becomes clear that it’s less about patriarchal family structures, and more about Akito’s mother being so jealous of the fact that her husband was paying attention to a woman that wasn’t her that she forced Akito to live as a man.

ANYWAY, with that rant out of the way, I guess it’s time for me to launch into another rant, since there’s the whole elephant in the room of “that whole scene where the joke is that Yuki’s in a dress”. To be honest, this scene in a vacuum isn’t really a huge deal, but when you’ve read the whole manga it’s kinda obvious that it’s a piece of a larger topic of how this series just has some weird hang-ups about gender expression, and especially about the image of a man wearing a dress. At least in my opinion, I think that Takaya has good intentions with all of this, but she still ultimately plays into and in a lot of ways validates outdated gender norms. I’ll get into it when it actually comes up, but Momiji’s character in general is the best example of how I think that even when she’s clearly trying to be understanding and supportive, it’s the sort of uncomfortably narrow-minded allyship that says “it’s ok if he wears a dress if it looks nice on him. He’ll grow out of it later on anyway, so we should just let it slide for now”. 

I also want to point out that even though they try and say in this episode that Yuki ‘has a complex about his looks’, it honestly doesn’t really come across that way. He only seems to get annoyed about it when he’s either forced to wear a dress against his will, or when Kyo calls him a girl as an insult, or when Kakeru calls him a princess as a joke later in the manga. And even then he never really seems to care THAT much. At least not compared to the things that he actually has complexes about. So it just all makes this whole thing seem even more forced, especially since it feels like Yuki’s more masculine in the reboot than he was in any other version of the story.

Although that does remind me that part of why I’m annoyed with how they never actually do anything interesting with the idea of Yuki having a complex about his femininity is that, sorta like with the whole plot point later on of him being ashamed of how he doesn’t have romantic feelings for Tohru, it all feels like it at least would be more interesting if he was gay. At least then there’d be room to explore the idea of him irrationally rejecting his femininity instead of it not going anywhere.

But that’s all getting into stuff that hasn’t even come up yet, lol.

Either way, for the most part I think this was a really good episode that made some nice adaptation decisions, even if it does also make it seem more and more clear that the reboot might ultimately suffer a bit from being TOO faithful to the manga, instead of changing/removing the more outdated parts of it.

Anyway, it looks like the next episode is going to be Hatori’s backstory. I think they’re gonna handle it like the 2001 anime did by having the episode basically just be all of chapter 10, with the more extensive backstory flashback from chapter 12 worked into it to flesh it out. If they do it like that, I think they’ll then spend episode 8 on the new years part, and then in episode 9 we’ll finally see Haru.

And on the topic of Hatori, before I forget, one reason why I like how they changed the timing of him contacting Tohru was because it let them show him looking at Kana’s portrait in his office when he’s talking about the prospect of having to erase Tohru’s memories, which was a really great way to handle that scene, and to set up the next episode.

[atvie]

all of the artist ask meme because i can and i love you ;)

ilusm!!!!!!! i’m putting them beneath the cut cause.. Long.

🖍️ when did you start drawing? do you remember?  when i was born????? idk i have a huge memory lapse from a lot of my childhood so! i really don’t know, but i’ve been told i took to it pretty quickly

✏️ do you prefer traditional art or digital to relax?  traditional! but it’s hard cause it’s not as pretty / more stressful when i’m not using lined paper / when i’m using lined paper it makes it harder to upload / i can’t use cool colors (i’m terrified of using colors on real paper……) but!! idk it’s just kind of soothing

📏 what’s your go-to canvas size?  that’s been changing recently.. but either 900x900 or 2500x2580! and then just cropping near the end

☕ do you do warmup sketches before drawing? (bonus: do you have any to share?)  yeah! except they really are just. normal sketches i guess. they’re usually the ones that i end up not finishing even part of the face.. but i generally share All of my art (except the ones i’m really anxious about… see below) so i don’t really have. any to show except for.. uh. here)

🙃 which is easier: faces facing left, right, or front view?  front view?… out of those options. i’m just really bad with noses from the side, but generally i hate doing a perfect front view or side view… i like to kinda play round w it

📚 how many layers do you typically use?  80+? but when i use a bigger canvas it limits me at around 45, so then i start merging the ones im ok with. i just like having a lot so that it’s easier to clean up cause i’m paranoid (but i usually end up merging them a Lot towards the end)

🐻 your go-to things to draw when you need comfort?  people? i don’t really draw for comfort.. at least in the way that i think the question means. i basically only draw people anyway so. yeah. (that’s another thing i’m working on;;)

🎁 do you prefer drawing fandom stuff or your own characters?  my own characters……… but no one’s really interested in them? i mean i know my friends are and some of my mutuals but realistically y’all can’t be invested in them as much until i release the actual story? (or like with you, rubi, where you’ve met them through rp smgksd) so it’s kinda been .. boring? because i like showing them to people to make people happy and when it’s my character it really is just For Me. like…. a lot of the things i draw are for me, but often i think of ‘oh x mutual might like it if i drew their favorite character’ even if i don’t tag them in it……. but then, those are usually the ones i don’t post, because my standards raise hugely when it’s For someone. (like with you! i’ve drawn a lot of kaya, but it’s never Enough for me, so i only end up posting any of them for my own art progress.) also my friends’ ocs. but again it makes me p anxious

🌈 do you use more warm or cold colors?  warm!!!! cold colors scare me SMDGJS… even when i use cold colors i tend to use warm undertones (is that the word? idk)

🎼 your favorite music to draw to right now?  i have a playlist!! um but usually i like drawing best to bastille.. 21 pilots (yes i unironically like them), khalid!!!!!!, my chemical romance, AJR, marshmellow, alan walker, coldplay(?) and imagine dragons! just the kind of. mystical soothing tone? it’s hard for me to describe but it’s really good for background for me!! oh and lizzo, pentatonix & the greatest showman’s soundtrack are fun to draw to!!

🙌 draw a doodle with your non-dominant hand  i regret everything

📐 whats your favorite kinds of lines to draw?  i literally have. no idea what this means sry? fsdkfdf

💐 do your drawing suit your aesthetics?  no :/

🦋 do your drawings resemble you?  no..? not really i mean.., i’ve done self-portraits sometimes, but even then those are more.. my idealized self? cause atm i’m really….. self-conscious i guess,, so i don’t like looking at myself much To draw..

✨ how often do you draw?  whenever i can!!!!!!!!!! i doodle all of the time! though, recently i haven’t had paper to access, so i’ve brought my tablet around & drew on it!! it’s a lot easier to

🌗 is night or day better for drawing?  mmmm.,,, not really either? just whenever i feel like it, which is basically all of the time. nighttime is often worse though just cause i’m more tired / it’s harder to see

🍭 what’s your main art blog / what do you tag your art with?  this is it! and i usually tag it with ….. the most-used name of the character. other than that, i’m unreliable ;;; i try to do the fandom too um but i don’t have any specific tags? come to think of it .. i should probably make a tag for all of my art to go under…. but also i don’t want to look at my old art, even to add tags to the posts mkfsdjg 😔

🍀 you wish your art was more..(fill in the blank)  good???? sgsjdf i just really look up to a lot of artists (a lot of whom are my friends) and so it’s just. idk. i guess i wish my art was more well-rounded. like.. i’m getting good at faces and such through practice, but i don’t have .. basically any experience with backgrounds / animals / things like that. so it’d be nice to be able to draw what i imagine without problems.

🌊 what’s the hardest thing for you to draw?  animals, because i tend to make them hyperrealistic which doesn’t merge with the rest of the piece(s). ;;

🙊 share your latest silly doodle with no context