#the real yaoi truly was the friendships we made along the way

[sabaramonds]

the intimacy of possession: a glimpse into hyde-brand formative yaoi

hello, everyone! i mentioned once or twice here on tumblr and several times over on twitter, but my good friend @tshirt3000​ organized a zine among its friends with the topic being yaoi. specifically, formative or otherwise largely influential yaoi in our lives or what yaoi means to us. a few topics came to mind when this was presented before me. one of those topics was murder or violence as a love language and the overlap between joshneku (twewy) and akeshu (p5). however i would have had to replay both games because its been so long and i didnt have the time; luckily someone else discussed joshneku (which made me super happy to see) so thats another essay for another day. instead i ended up writing about - you guessed it - possession, and not of the material kind. in my entry i discuss how i view it and use several ships that impacted me greatly enough to definitely qualify as ‘formative yaoi’. the following will contain spoilers for: yu gi oh (the manga), kagerou project (the light novels), and season 1 of the kekkai sensen/blood blockade battlefront anime adaption. you can find the full zine, all 81 pages of it!, over here. the digital pdf is free to read, so please enjoy it at your leisure. so, lets talk about possession

there is an unavoidable intimacy in possession. no matter the circumstances, no matter how the characters feel about one another on a personal level, there is an intimacy that simply cannot be denied. no matter how hard you try to maintain a distance between you and the one you share a body with, there is an inevitable overlap, a bleedover of information, of self. who else could ever know you as well as the one who has cradled your soul, your mind, your heart, within their own vessel; who else could ever know you as well as the one who fit themself within your body, within your heart, as if it were their home? CASE ONE: TENDERSHIPPING. in YGO, ryou and his spirit, the thief king, are not often shown together despite acting as narrative foils for yugi and his spirit atem. in fact ryou is scarcely shown at all: he fades into the background like a ghost more often than not and we are very rarely afforded a glimpse into his life outside of his introductory arc, at least in the manga. we know he is socially isolated from both friends and family: he has himself and his dioramas and his ghost. so i think his possession would be a relief for him; instead of having no one, he always has someone, even if that someone is zorc-pilled, prone to violence, and repeatedly puts him in dangerous situations.

unlike yugi, ryou, is for the most part cut off from his spirit. they do not visit each other in their soul rooms; the thief king actively excludes ryou from his plans despite piloting his body to achieve his goals. and yet, towards the end, it is ryou who constructs a diorama at the thief king’s behest as the battleground for his revenge plot against atem. this must have required extensive communication, with the level of detail it had. i imagine ryou glad to grasp the opportunity to know the one who has haunted him all these years, both hurting and protecting him, especially knowing with confidence that yugi and his friends have defeated the king of thieves once before and that they could surely do so again. after all, if he was bothered by the thief king's anything, he wouldnt have stolen the ring back from yugi after it was taken from him in the wake of battle city. the thief king is HIS shitty roommate from hell to evict if he so chooses!! there is also, of course, the thief king: one who hurts more than he helps, one who cannot care for ryou the way he might have if it werent for his zorcpilled grief and thousands of years of a festering grudge to fuel him.

he manages to care anyway; there was no reason for him to trap the soul of a teacher who had harassed ryou in a figurine, or to keep ryou alive during the battle city arc, either, when it risked his working relationship with malik. its hard not to care for the boy whose body you have lived in for years, no matter how zorcpilled you are; a boy who you have been alone together with for a long, long time; a boy who does not forgive you for the way you hurt him but keeps letting you in anyway. we dont get to see any resolution between them, by the way. at the end of it all, when yugi is saying goodbye to the spirit of his puzzle and the millennium items are being taken away for good, there is nothing for ryou and the ghost who has been with him since childhood; the ghost who has been, for the most part, the only company hes kept for many years. i like to think that at the end of it all, de-zorc’d, the thief king might have let ryou in the way ryou has always let him in. just once, just for a moment. an honest goodbye. we dont know, though. i guess thats typical of ryou and his thief king. we never get to see them during such private, pivotal moments. CASE TWO: HARUKA, KONOHA, AND THE SNAKE OF CLEARING EYES. kokonose haruka has known he was going to die for at least six years by the time shintaro, the protagonist, meets him; by the time the story itself begins in volume one, he is already two years gone.

kagerou project, the series he’s from, contains the daze: a world which ‘devours’ pairs of people close to death. to help them survive, its creator began to give some of these people parts of herself and her power, via her snakes. a caveat: the power given has to suit the human. can you guess what harukas most earnest wish might have been? this is how konoha was born. konoha was not a person, not at first; he had been harukas oc for a video game he played with his classmate and friend, takane. he was harukas idealized self: not only healthy but inhumanly strong and capable of being of use to those he cared for. konoha is who and what haruka was meant to be, yet haruka, who rejected this body, was stuck within the daze, in an endless white room and his hospital bed, only able to see the outside world in glimpses of konoha’s eyes.

he resents konoha. konoha is living a life that was meant to be his—although that, too, is a life haruka was not meant to have. hes always been on borrowed time.

konoha, himself instead possessed by a fragment of the daze’s creator’s power in the absence of haruka, is barely aware of haruka beyond his understanding that he resembles someone his friends have lost. 

the snake of clearing eyes is a parasitic entity constantly recreating a series of events that will lead to him being able to possess a physical vessel, however briefly, before one of the other protagonists—mary—forces time itself to loop back several years in a fit of grief over those she has lost. he’s the one who actually created konoha, having secretly been the one to meet haruka instead of the daze’s creator. he finds konoha convenient and ultimately takes him over, having told haruka when he created the body, “i am very glad this was your wish for me [...] if you do not wish for anything, i cannot ‘fulfill’ anything.” it’s only in the act of fulfilling the most ardent wishes of others that he is capable of action, and only then: only when he is doing what others beg of him. so he spends timeloop after timeloop brutally murdering a bunch of teenagers to get the perfect body for himself, even knowing mary will, in her grief, rewind time itself. and then he does it all again.  so much work. years and years of effort expended over and over again in loop after loop—just for a taste. is it worth it? we know after the series ends, haruka is alive. but it begs the question of how he lives. i like to think he took the snake of clearing eyes into his actual flesh and blood body to act as that substitute life. but why do i find that so compelling? because he sees himself in the snake of clearing eyes. kokonose haruka is a boy who has always known he was going to die no matter how desperately he wished otherwise. if he resents konoha for living, it stands to reason that he would empathize with the snake of clearing eyes, so desperate for a life of his own, even if the rest of those around them would not think the same. he can give the snake of clearing eyes a lifetime to live. his own lifetime, shared, and maybe that could be enough to satisfy him. i think the snake of clearing eyes would hate him for this kindness. a shared lifetime that isnt on a timer that leads inevitably to repeating the same several years, again and again: a gift he does not deserve and did not ask for. its a punishment as much as it is a gift, anyway, given that it isnt truly a life that is the snake of clearing eyes alone. i think thats funny as hell. CASE THREE: THE KING OF DESPAIR AND WILLIAM “BLACK” MACBETH. kekkai sensen takes place in the city of hellsalems lot (fka new york city) in a world after an apocalyptic event called “the collapse.” 

now let me talk about william ‘black’ macbeth. black spends his whole life repressing his immense power both because his twin sister mary ‘white’ macbeth was born without it and because hes afraid of it. during the collapse, his parents give up their lives to turn his sister into a piece of the barrier that keeps the effects of the collapse from spreading, and he embraces despair both literally and metaphorically. the king of despair is…well, nobody really knows who or what he is, but where the thief kings motives were rooted in grief and vengeance and the snake of clearing eyes motives laid in a desire to live, the king of despair wants one thing: to die. towards the end of episode 11, he monologues: “...how fragile a thing eternal life is, a fate of endless wandering; without death in mind one cannot be said to be truly alive. and so, forgotten by death, the despair that i am shall at least take my foolishness to bed with me.” he says this very dramatically on a live broadcast to the entirety of hellsalems lot by the way. right as he kickstarts the collapse 2: electric boogaloo! it is uncertain who or what the king of despair is, but we know hes been ‘a silent observer’ since ‘rome’. prior to meeting black, he was a shapeless fracture of blue light, having presumably lost his physical body in one of his many previous suicide attempts. guy really just wants to die. im especially fond of him because despite his behavior, he is actually the sort of guy who cares a whole lot about other people, specifically at the very least, black. during their fight in the season finale, another character says: “as long as you crave the light, you cannot kill him. It is precisely because you desire hope that you sought him out, is it not?” the him, of course, is black.

this enrages despair. despite that, despair does eventually admit—in a breathless, wavering voice—that actually, he had not taken blacks body by force. “you came to rescue him from me, but i didnt take him by force. he welcomed me.” top 10 most haunting lines in all of anime. to me. the tenderness in his expression, in his voice, the raw ache of it: and then, when the protagonist leo arrives with white, the fear and hope. black wants to live, despair wants to die, and even if despair didnt want to kill black alongside himself he was willing to do it. he doesnt, of course. its not the right choice. but despair wants to die and black wants to live, so until despair stops trying to kill them both, hes got to leave.

ive talked a whole lot about these ships now. whats their common denominator? I’d have to say the friction in each relationship. theres something so incredibly gripping to me about two (or, um, three if we count the haruka situation?) fundamentally different people (or entities) sharing a body. the thief king and his millennia of grief and rage, worsened by zorcs proximity. ryou and his passive detachment from himself,  his relief at knowing someone will always, always be with him: he is not as alone as he thought. the snake of clearing eyes and who knows how many centuries or millennia spent desperate for a life of his own, grasping for it no matter what the cost, no matter how repetitive. haruka and a lifetime spent knowing he was living on borrowed time, that he would die young just like his mother—younger even than she had. konoha, caught between them, a vessel of both hope and rejection. the king of despair and his yearning for death. for that final, eternal sleep. caring despite himself, hesitating in the face of the young man who had welcomed despair into himself. black and a lifetime of repressing himself and fearing everything, but mainly his own power—but not despair. not really. so i want to ask everyone who read this a question. do you think its gay to possess someone and be possessed in turn?

[lawlightautismtruther]

SUPER LONG LAWLIGHT DYNAMIC ANALYSIS RANT (THIS MOSTLY ONLY APPLIES TO THE ANIME)

It’s really not that serious, but there’s more to my thesis of L being a sub/bottom than just blorbo yaoi fuel. I‘ll call back to my post about L’s true emotional vulnerability that most viewers seem to miss, because on a surface level (especially when coming from the manga and when trusting the words of Obha at face value) you may see L as detached and cold. You’re supposed to think that L is unfeeling at FIRST but post-confinement/pre-yotsuba, the truth starts to seep out. L could have had Light convicted after seeing that no more criminals were dying since locking him up, but he didn’t. Even Aizawa admitted that it was enough evidence. You know it’s real when Aizawa agrees with Matsuda, lmfao.

Anyway, after this point, L and Light actually really start to bond. (I pretty much see lawlight as subtextual canon) L, not really needing to do this because of his access to surveillance, handcuffs himself to Light Yagami. He doesn’t want to be apart from him. I actually find it to be a comedically obvious act of desperation.

My point is, Light is winning the game, and L is letting him do it out of what I believe is love. L has found the one person in his life (besides maybe Naomi) that he really feels any sort of connection to, and therefore he would hate to watch that person die. L is inarguably a vulnerable character imo. If you rewatch the the series, outside of his internal monologues, he’s actually extremely soft-spoken and coy.

“Oh, uh, well it was nice meeting you”

“Light, please make Misa stop talking now.”

You get the point. He’s nervous. He’s super frail and holds himself very compactly, he walks with his eyes on the ground usually. He shakes when Aizawa lays a hand on him. He is terrified of shinigami. I think his coldness is an act to protect himself. I really do, because he knows how much things actually do affect him. In order to continue with cases, he has to pretend like none of it really matters to him. And he almost believes it at this point, too— hence his monster speech.

But then there’s Light Yagami. A worthy individual to truly understand L. He comes along, actually treats L like a human being (be it an act, I believe it still feels good to L, who has been treated like a robot his entire life), of course L is bound to at the very least see him as a friend.

I don’t believe L’s external behavior towards Light is an act. He didn’t have to be kind, he didn’t have to pretend it was a friendship. He had zero professional reason to do so. In fact, it very much made the case a harder one to solve. If we take L’s character at face value, he would have scrapped all of the fluffy shit (like asking Light to go get cake with him, telling Light he was his only friend knowing damn well Light wouldn’t budge regardless, etc.) Adding a friendship into the mix only complicates the process of trying to read Light.

As much as L the detective hates to lose, L the person is desperate. If he really hated to lose, why did he let himself? He’s submitting to Light’s will and THAT is what kills him. On the day he dies, he knows it will happen, but still, he treats Light with kindness. Sure, he asks him if he’s ever told the truth once in his life, but after that, he pretty much gives up prying. That’s it. He’s put his gun down. Since he’s going to die anyway, he might as well just enjoy being around Light. I know for a fact that he is smart enough to have come up with some sort of plan to convict Light post-Higuchi. There’s a book about that. But canonically, he didn’t do it. Notice also how L goes to Watari before he dies for comfort. L is really such a sad character.

The crux of his character is his submissiveness, hence why I’m such a proponent of that ship dynamic. Its not just a wet-dream, it’s something I sensed in their dynamic to begin with. It’s why I became an L simp, not the other way around.

Anyway, the anime is a genius adaptation and expansion on the original story imo. (At least up until L’s death— unfortunately it didn’t do the other Wammy’s boys any justice)

TLDR;

manga L- cold and domineering, hates to lose and mostly loses at first because Light outsmarts him

anime L- the very opposite and I LOVE IT

Look at me putting my 5 on the AP English literature exam to use! Also, I know I’m a huge L fan, but I am a Light kinnie and I love him as a protagonist in every possible anti-hero type way and would love to analyze him so let me know if yall want that.

Okay, class, any questions?

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

April 2021 Part 1

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Second Chance Ep 1 - living up to its name since it looks to be a series of redemption arcs. Launched with a college confession and a broken friendship, then a flash back to them as seniors in high school. Pairings include friends to lovers, nerd/jock, and maybe cafe boss/employee. There’s a lot going on, but it’s still... quiet and sweet. The script is pretty pat but it’s still WAY more watchable than Cupid Coach or Brothers and most of the acting is solid. Ep 1 tropes included: he’s in engineering, wound tending, fast & bicurious. This could turn into what I wanted My Gear & Your Gown to be. Fingers crossed. 

Love Poison 2 Ep 1 & 2 turns out I did watch and report on season 1 (8 eps), season 2 seems equally unmemorable. Thai countryside setting, strong dialect, incomprehensible plot, camp side characters, and ghastly singing. 

Y-Destiny Ep 1 (eng subs?) - opened with the sports romance enemies to lovers (they aren’t going in the teaser order). When the couple got over fighting, the flirting was v cute, but the flipping SPONGE BATH trope had to rear its ugly head. Still, this series is shaping up to be less coy and more frank than most BL, better than expected. It feels, I don’t know, gay-er or something?  *** Sources were correct that each couple is getting (at least) 2 eps, and MDL has been updated to say this is a 15 episode series (not 7). 

Cupid Coach 12 fin - The new Nite was great and should have been a main all along. It felt like we got a tiny nugget of what could have been in about 10 minutes worth of this last ep. It was way too slow with terrible editing and a criminally bad script, but at least it ended happy. Mostly, like Friend Forever, I’m just disappointed that these two actors were done dirty by the series. Bad Cupid Coach, no screen caps for you. 

Lovely Writer Ep 6 - breaking news, there’s a het couple I like: toppy bi femme + soft boi = such a good pairing! I know, but this NEVER happens. Meanwhile, Sib’s secret is out, Gene is a bit of a drama queen, and the plot thickens. We half way through.  

Brothers Ep 9 - Kaow had a serious moment of advice giving that was truly lovely. Lots of family dama made this a superior episode to... well... any of the others in this series. Which isn’t saying much. 

1000 Stars Ep 10 fin - at the start this series didn’t grab me the way GMMTV’s last BL, Tonhon Chonlatee, did. But boy did it end 1000x better. Might have given us 2021′s best forehead kiss. I enjoyed the ultra romantic cliff-top reunion kiss, and I LOVED the stinger flirting scene. That was an absolute gift we had no right to expect. This drama is a poster child for finishing on a high note (always focus on that dessert course). Final thoughts? This was FAR more a classic romance than it was BL. There were some BL tropes used but not many and most of them originated in the romance genre not yaoi. A picture perfect ending bumped 1000 Stars much higher up my best-of list than expected. Not sure how often I’ll rewatch it as a whole, but this last episode? I’m probably rewatching it right now. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Dear Uranus (Taiwan GL) Ep 3 fin - I guess that’s it? Okaaaaay  

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 3 (AKA Ep 5-6) - we got actual legit gay culture not just BL (always appreciated) from XingSi. I’m starting to find LiCheng’s “show them we fucking” hijinks hilarious rather than annoying (not sure why, maybe I just love a rubber chicken, or maybe it was the STUFFED CORN WITH THE TASSEL that did it). 

-- H4 Moment of RANT --

Tropes included beach trip, there’s only one bed, cook for him, baby is a floppy drunk, carry baby to bed, and.... drunk non-con. Whoopdedoo. Here we go again. Did TharnType teach us NOTHING? (Apparently it taught us if the chemistry is good enough, I have no morals at all.) At least H4 seems to be taking us out of cheese into serious when it comes to assault. Or is it? 

I take back what I said last week about XingSi & YongJie being codependency + salvation trope, that only works if YongJie is the uke. He’s NOT. So we got us an obsessive predatory villain with a possible redemption arc. That’s more common in crime dramas, mafia romance, and epic fantasy than BL. It’s real hard to redeem a sexual predator in a reality-grounded universe like contemporary romance (See Kla in LBC1&2). 

Next week is gonna be a test of the whole damn franchise. Imma remind both me a you that this was ep 3 of 10 so we got a ways to go yet... but ooof, what have we wrought, BL? (I ended up doing a whole post about the stepbrother trope because of this sub plot.) Taiwan is killing me.

-- RANT ended --

Word of Honor (China) Ep 19-21 - over half way point so we got ALL the back story (in a classic 4 act story structure midway reveal). Now we know who WKX really is and his lineage. We also got some cute hugs and hand holds. Moving along at a nice clip despite being 36 eps total. Still gayest thing to come out of we-not-gay China since Advance Bravely. 

Most Peaceful Place (Vietnam) Ep 2 - takes them a while to get eng subs together and ep 2 didn’t drop until late. So I’m putting this in a Thurs time slot going forward. Miscommunication already cleared up and a 2nd couple has been introduced. The pacing on these Vietnamese BLs is always a bit... off. But it’s still better than most of its ilk, enjoyable. I’m thinking it’s a 6 ep arc. 

We Best Love 2 (Taiwan) Ep 5 - after the initial drama DRAMA of ep 2, the current external crisis at work is much quieter, giving this whole season a top heavy feel. Taken along side the first season, I think it’s fitting nicely into a 4 act structure, but that might be my bias. I hope I’m not wrong, we’ll find out next week. Shi De puttering about being domestic with Shu Yi on his back was the best execution of the piggyback trope EVER. Meanwhile, our little D/s side couple of codependency, salvation trope + mental illness is becoming weirdly appealing. I don’t know. H4 done mess with my head. 

Stand Alones 

Absolute BL AKA Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai vs Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko  (Japan) Ep 1-4 mini series. Found subs under A Man Who Defies The World of BL. IT’S HILARIOUS. It’s Japan making fun of us, but also itself for having started this whole BL nonsense - from yaoi roots to present day. It’s parody goddamn gold. Utterly cheeky unto the very last line. We are not worthy. 

Apparently the most powerful tropes of all time are: baby is a floppy drunk and the piggyback fo nobility. Oh and chocolate. {Full review here.} 

Honestly, this show may have been made with only @heretherebedork and I in mind. I don’t know if you’d even understand half of it if you don’t have a history with the manga source genre and an obsessive interest in underlying narrative devices. I haven’t seen much chatter in the blog’o’sphere on this one because, in the end, it’s not a romance at all, it’s social commentary. 

The ending line was a masterclass in lampooning a genre. I’m going to rewatch the whole thing just to catch all the digs I missed first time around. It is a thing of beauty and a joy forever. 

Thank you Japan. I forgive you all your hair-styling sins of the last decade. 

Breaking News 

Spring Line Up:

Scholar Ryu’s Wedding Ceremony AKA Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korean historical BL) April 15th 

Close Friend the series (Thai trailer) April 22. 

2gether the movie (Thai trailer) April 22 to Thai theaters.

Nitiman (Thai) May 7 on One31.

I Told Sunset About You 2 (Thai) May 27 on LineTV

Ossan’s Love (Hong Kong) June to Viu 

Gossip 

Bad Buddies released its first promo op via Arm Share, which means GMMTV is at least *thinking* about filming it. 

Fun behind the scenes gossip sesh with eng subs for Tell the World I Love You (that Perth Bas movie we are maybe getting someday but will likely be sad). 

New Thai BL Bite Me (adapted from novel Grab a Bite) dropped a teaser. It stars Mark Siwat (Kla in LBC) as uke character Ake, a delivery boy with special foodie powers, and chef Eua (seme played by Zung Kidakorn) who discovers him. It’s from the same author as Manner of Death so we might even get some actual plot. Since it’s an established BL actor who I happen LOVE, a known author, and a plot about FOOD, I could not me more excited for this one. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed a day later than actual air date for accessibility reasons. Some are dropping multiples at a time but just started so I’m not sure on numbering. 

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

[razberryyum]

Gintama manga chap 700

~

Dear Gintama gods and Sorachi-sama,

THANK YOU! THANK YOU FOR FINALLY LETTING THE YOROZUYA SEE AND ACKNOWLEDGE EACH OTHER!! So CLOSE! SO UNBELIEVABLY CLOSE! I CRIED! I wish they were actually in front of him so that they could finally have a proper hug together, but the fact that they actually got to lay eyes on him and support him was enough to make my eyes well up with happy tears. Their heart-breakingly desperate expressions as they called out to Gin-chan and his touching response in return made my heart clench up even more. I loved that he fought off the enemy with their weapons. I wish they could fight all the enemies off together, side-by-side or back-to-back again. Sorachi-sama, you’re really so cruel. How much longer must we wait for a real Yorozuya family reunion?  

Still, I’m glad that everyone is getting closer and closer to Gintoki but again, I wish there wasn’t so much rushing.  I mean, finally, you granted one of my wishes from a long time ago and actually let Otae join in on the fighting this time around, but we didn’t even have time to enjoy it because everyone is rushing along. I know that sounds ridiculous considering the dire circumstances they’re under and the fact that they’re rushing for a good purpose, but for example, that moving exchange between Shinpachi, Kagura and the Shinsengumi boys happened almost so quickly and matter-of-factly that it didn’t feel like anyone even had the chance to digest it. And it was such a touching exchange too!  I had to stop a moment to cope with the emotions their words brought on. Tears flowed from my eyes because I was suddenly overcome with sadness. Even though their sentiments were composed of hope and joy and promise, their words also sounded so final that my heart started hurting. Why must this be the last time of anything?  I want the Yorozuya and Shinsengumi to be friends...forever...helping each other and thanking each other always. Sure, they can also hurl insults at each other, but I don’t want their relationship to only be based on snide remarks and snappy comebacks. I want to see them sit down together, share meals, share drinks, watch the rain, and have friendly tussles in the river bank or wherever else that may suit them. And it’s not just because I ship half of them to each other, but rather, I think after all they have been through, they have more than earned friendships to last a lifetime. Therefore, seeing any of them say “last time in this life” about anything simply fills me with gloom and a little fear since it also sounds foreboding. Not that I think anything would happen to the Shinsengumi...or, I should say, I hope not...but I would also be lying if I said I wasn’t a little worried.

Strangely enough, what I never worried about through the entire chapter was whether or not Takasugi was going to live. I know he came close to becoming dust particles a la Cyclops pirate Batou, but I still wasn’t convinced that would really be his end since he still hadn’t met up with Matako and Henpeita yet. I don’t think you would be cruel enough to deny them their last moment with the man whom they have followed most of their lives, especially Matako who lives him so much, so until that reunion happens, I have faith that you will continue to let Takasugi live. It was heartening once again to see the Joui boys fighting together as one unit united under the teachings of their beloved teacher; even though Zura was physically separated from Gintoki and Takasugi, it was obvious that spiritually he was still fighting there beside them. I especially loved that since Oboro’s blood was flowing through Takasugi, he was essentially fighting alongside them as well. I hope wherever he is, he will be just as proud and satisfied of the outcome his fellow classmates—nay, brothers will be able to accomplish to finally give the being that was once their teacher its final rest.  

I know the general hubub has been that the next chapter will be the end, but honestly, Sorachi-sama, I don’t believe it. Not because I’m in denial, but I honestly cannot for the life of me see how you can possibly end everything in just one short chapter, whether it be 50 pages or 100 pages long. Just thinking about what you would have to cover in the next chapter to even end the battle on the ship—Sadaharu finally reviving and quelling the Altana stream (WHOO-HOO!!!!! PUPPY SAVES THE WORLD!!!!), the defeat of the (pardon me) stupidass Tendoshuu old farts (or Tendenists or whatever the hell they decide to call themselves next, I’m sorry, I really hate them) Takasugi’s ultimate fate, Baby Utsuro’s ultimate fate, Yorozuya’s full reunion, everyone’s full reunion—is enough to overwhelm me and give me a headache. I know you are always amazing, but realistically speaking, how could you tie all of those loose ends in neat, satisfying bundles in just one chapter’s length? If you were given the entire volume of the next Jump Giga, it still might not be enough but at least that will be better than just a mere chapter.  

Unless, perhaps in the end, your intention was never to conclude Gintama in just three issues of Giga anyway? Perhaps you will indeed be ending the battle portion of this leg of the arc in the next chapter (“Climax of the climactic battle”), but then save all the more emotional moments—the reunions and final fates our two “villains” (yes, I do count Takasugi, since I will not forget that  at one time, he was THE villain of the series before Utsuro reared his crow head again) and, hopefully, everyone’s future outlook, for the next set of Giga volumes? I will be completely fine with that, Sorachi-sama. Of course ideally, I wish there will never be the end, but I will take any more Gintama I can get even if it means waiting longer and for only a finite number of chapters.  

But as we head into the next chapter, I would like to make one humble request: if Takasugi were to finally reach his immortal limit and therefore meet his mortal end, please let Bansai be the one to lead him to the other side. I think I’ve mentioned before that I’m already resigned to the possibility we may very well lose Takasugi when this battle is over, and in many ways, I think that is probably the best ending for him. At least he will die a hero again and not a villain as he used to be, but I still want his journey to the afterlife to be a good one, so I hope Bansai will be by his side so his final trip will not be so lonely.  Your consideration is greatly appreciated.

Yours truly,

A silly fangirl with yaoi dreams

(^3^)

[mcl-mia]

Wizardess Heart Boys and the Relationships Between Them

//it's 4 a.m. as i'm starting this, so you know what that means! more ramblings about wizardess heart because i can't seem to sleep.

so, as many people in the WH+ fanbase know, solmare likes to do a lot of group events. like, a LOT a lot. these days, only some of the most popular characters tend to get their own events and spin offs (still waiting for azusa and leon's birthday events, solmare). most often though, solmare likes to do group events in pairs and forces the players to choose between one ending/one character. in all honesty, this isn't necessarily a bad thing! it's really good for developing relationships between characters that exist in the universe. but... the problem is that solmare just doesn't go through with all that they could, or are even ridiculously repetative with what pairs they go for. so, let me just express my problems with a few notable ones that come to mind, and give solmare some ideas on what they COULD do (it's unlikely that anyone from their HQ will see this anyways, but a girl can dream).

to start off, let's start off with the ones i'm not too pleased with.

Elias and Joel: look, i really like the idea of these two interacting. the whole tsundere/brutal honesty pairing is not a bad idea at all, but their relationship is executed so awkwardly. EVERYTHING revolves around them being rivals or competing for liz's affections. not only is this extremely tiresome to see at this point (especially when it seems as though joel apparently has no friends whatsoever), but it's hilariously inconsistent. on joel's profile, elias is the one introducing joel, and elias states that he LIKES joel. when i saw they were being paired for the first time in the overnight field trip event, i was excited to see them get along! but nope. for some reason "unknown", they pretty much hated each other. can't y'all just let joel have one friend without him being a jealous pissbaby, solmare?

Serge and Cerim: solmare, you could have done so much good with these two. you have cerim, a sheltered boy who knows nothing of the outside world and desperately wants to explore it, and serge, who has literally travelled the world... and all you think of doing with them is pairing them for ronny/taffy antics. that's it, that's all their ever paired for (maybe for pastel aesthetics sometimes). they just never DO anything with cerim and serge themselves, it's always overshadowed by ronny and taffy and how much they love their masters. they have SO much potential to be great together, but nooooo.

Guy and Leslie: this one just kinda pisses me off because we're never really given any context OR content for it. in leslie's route, guy states that he and leslie are "more like brothers", but why? WHY are you two more like brothers, and how did you get to be so close? and why is this "closeness" never shown? i know that everybody sucked leslie's dick in his route, but they should at least back their friendship up in event stories (they are together in the 3rd anniversary story, which is a decent start, but give us MOOORRREEEE).

Elias and Luca: the most yaoi bait couple of all yaoi bait in wizardess heart. don't get me wrong, i'm still a fan of their dynamic and what they represent for each other, but ohh my god i wish that they had more time together. these two have an interesting rivalry, and it's honestly such a shame that solmare almost never does anything with them. just... just ONCE i want for them to just chill and say "you're not as bad as i say you are". in luca's route, elias is shown to still care for luca and his wellbeing, but elias never gets a chance to even say it. likewise, luca never really gets a chance to say that he doesn't really hate elias per se, but is rather just more annoyed due to his own insecurities. as others have pointed out, elias and luca has what each other needs (in the sinplest way possible, elias needs to relax more , and luca needs to be a little more serious), and it's such a shame that the relationship between these two is pushed aside. especially when they have one of the most interesting dynamics in the entire game (and has the potential to be a healthy rivalry).

Klaus and Elias: (man, a lot of these involve elias, huh?) as someone who has two older sisters herself, klaus and elias' relationship disturbs me at times. on several occasions, elias mentions how cruel his brothers could be to him at times, but klaus is most often named as the perpetrator (well, technically klaus is the only one who can be named, since we still don't have the name of the eldest goldstein brother). klaus has been mentioned AND shown to have crossed some lines (at one point elias has mentioned how klaus left him stranded on a mountain for two days in order to force him to learn how to ride a broom, and don't even get me started on the mess that was the performing festival), which often makes elias appear to be afraid of klaus. not only that, but klaus is also shown to be a mentor figure to elias; someone who elias looks up to (and even puts him on an unreachable pedestal in a way). klaus will often comment on what problems he has with elias' spells, but the way he comments on them makes them come off as more as insults rather than pieces of contstructive criticism. sure, you could write that off as klaus not "sugar coating" things, but there's still a definite line between giving someone a critique and insulting the way they do things, and klaus tends to lean more towards the latter. he'll say "you need to be more creative with your spells" to elias, but he leaves it at that (which is especially hard for elias when the boy has lived his whole life by textbooks). he doesn't offer tips to help someone improve, he just says what's wrong with what they're doing. THAT is what can be so damaging to elias. do i think that klaus doesn't care about elias? absolutely not. i just think that klaus doesn't realize how much he's really hurting elias with his words and actions (granted that elias doesn't really tell klaus this, but how can he?). i really, truly wish that we could get more genuine moments between the two where elias can be upfront with klaus about how he feels, and for klaus to completely recognize elias' strength and hard work. i really, REALLY want their relationship to be healthier than it is.

now that that's all said and done, let's give solmare some ideas for pairs, because goddamm solmare you need to give us new pairs already.

Sigurd and Serge: you CANNOT tell me that sigurd not only doesn't know serge, but also isn't bros with him. tell me sigurd's side of the story about the real randy's death. more specifically: how much he was involved, more about klaus' reaction/ways of coping with the situation, and how he views the situation as a whole (i.e. does he think serge is to blame, does this damage his relationship with him, did he want to console serge as well but never got the chance, etc.).

Sigurd and Elias: listen. i crave a desire to see sigurd act like a big brother to elias and baby him to all hell. give me this, solmare. DON'T LIMIT ALL OF SIGURD'S INTERACTIONS WITH THE GOLDSTEINS TO JUST KLAUS. DON'T DO THAT TO ME.

Azusa/Serge and Leon: this are pairs that i have been wanting for so long. i put them in the same category because their context is still the same: azusa and serge are deeply connected to unicorns and leon himself is a unicorn. i wanna see leon getting an attachment to serge because leon can feel something special about him. give me leon roasting azusa for being "weird and suspicious". SOMETHING along those lines, solmare.

Joel and Vincent: YAOI BAIT NUMBER 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO. but for real though, i want to see more interactions between joel and vincent that don't really include liz. they had really great chemistry in the gedonelune costume party event, and i would really love to see more of that, but they're almlst never paired together. >:(

Guy and Glenn: i've expressed this before, these two are connected by one really big asshole in their lives, and i just... really want them to talk about it. they were both abused by the same person, and i think it would be great if they got a chance to do some serious talking about it.

Luca and Joel: a more fluff-based pairing, these two can have some of the best witty banter, i can feel it. joel is a complete savage and luca is a little shit, it's a match made in hell.

Yukiya and Leon: also a more fluff pairing, but LET THE TWO FURRIES PUREST BOYS IN THE SERIES BE FRIENDS GODDAMMIT. they're so chill too, and i just want them to like go on a picnic or something and be surrounded by all the wildlife like the true disney princesses they are.

Klaus and Azusa: not going to lie, i really want to see how the most popular boy and the least popular boy interact with each other. grump vs. grump. only one will survive.

Azusa and Glenn: okay, to be honest, i really want these two to interact in the form of a magic battle. not one to the death, but i really want to see how glenn's staff and azusa's symbols match up. but if we really want more story stuff, having glenn and azusa talk about their younger siblings (and how they both lost them, although glenn eventually got his back) would be really great.

Yukiya and Sigurd: these two boys both come from big families (and are the eldest child), so i would love for them to trade stories about their younger siblings. maybe they could do some holiday shopping and recommend gifts to each other.

Mel and Yukiya: these two boys give no fucks whatsoever, and i would really love to see them out do each other in that department.

Cerim and Vincent: kind of in the same vein as cerim and serge, but without the familiars doing all the talking. vincent could tell cerim all about his adventures (or at least the ones that aren't top secret), and could maybe even get cerim to loosen up a bit.

so... yeah. there's my super long post about relationships between the boys. here's hoping that solmare will do some of these in the future.

but you know what would also be cool? an event that's just about the boys and their relationships with each other. no liz, no thinking about liz, no being jealous of each other, just wholesome boys content. give me that, solmare. i'd sell my soul for that (and i'm sure many others would as well).

[geek-ology-blog]

Well it’s been quite the year and well all lot of bad things happened (for me most were very personal) there were good things. And when I say good things I mean good people. Scratch that amazing people! These people helped me get through the year so that I would see this new one (even if the year is already starting bad for me). And even though I may not know a lot of them personally I still want to personally thank each and everyone of them. (Also I can draw better than this sorry)

@srpelo - Thank you for making me laugh till my stomach began to hurt. Every “shitpost” be the best post. And I will never stop slamming my desk and saying “OH BOI” thanks to you.

UltimaAlmighty - The only reaction channel done right. You are a such a positive person in a negative world. When you smile I can’t help, but smile back. Your sincerity won’t go unnoticed. (I know you will probably never see this, but I couldn’t not include you.)

@vadeva - Thanks for being the British man of Starbot Dubs. Your voice is so much fun to listen to and makes me wish I had a low awesome voice too. I can’t wait to see what you and Stephanie do next! (I also really wanna see your audition video).

@rahafwabas - Thanks for filling my dash with angst! You are an amazing artist. You taught me how bad and angst life can be, but to every bad side there’s a good that’ll be worth the pain. (Also short people for life!)

@jakei95 - Thank you for your creativity! You are such a nice and beautiful person. (Sucks that I couldn’t draw you like that… I can draw better I swear!) Cross and Underverse is just too awesome not to love. You taught me that making something new out of other’s ideas and turning it into your own can lead to finding your own new thing! You have encouraged me to do a lot more with myself as well as my art.

@jokublog - Thank you for sharing your hopes and dreams! Every time I see a picture of Dream I always smile (same is for Nightmare, but it’s an evil smile). Your art is so beautiful with its colors and flow. And even when others put you down you scare them away by getting back up again doing what you love. (Also you and Jakei be adorable together)

@loverofpiggies - Thank you for your amazing comics and snazzy pink hair! I love Aftertale and Geno since I connected to him in a sad way that Geno actually felt to be a real “person”. You also taught me that even if you’re known for one thing it’s good to make your own thing. And that being Gloomverse. One of the greatest things I’ve ever read in the entirety of one night (I was that hooked). In fact it encouraged to to start my own comic and punch anxiety in the face!

@hawker-rawr - Thank you for making me laugh at a drunk man (and questioning what kind of drunk I’d be)! You are such a cool artist and I love your take on Chara and Asriel. I fell in love with them all over again. So excited to see whatever you do next. (StarHawk ftw)

@camilaart - Thank you for playing with my emotions! I love GlitchTale so far and am pumped to see what happens next. You are an amazing storyteller and an awesome nerd at heart. I so happy that everyone got together when things got tough. Me from being from a poor household myself I know what it’s like. May all good things come to you and your family. (I also just wanna point out that I totally called Betty, like I screamed at the school computer when Sans died like my gosh I hate-love her!)

@starbotdubs - Thank you for sharing your beautiful voice (and face). You are an amazing voice actress and introduced me into so many comics I’d come to love so much. I’m so excited to see what 2017 brings for your channel (especially you guys dining Gloomverse, like I screamed that my dog jumped 2 feet into the air I was so excited). May you, Vade, and your channel become greater than it already is. (DEUS VULT)

@popelickva and The Real-Time Fan Dub Cast - Thank you for making me giggle like a baby during class. Your gravity falls series and dubs never fail to make me smile. And even though I miss nearly every stream because of timezones, I can’t help but feel determined to try and watch it. (You guys also got me into Voltron and made me obsessed)

@manontheinternet - Thank you for the music! Music has always been apart of my life, especially musicals. I play a couple instruments and like to sing, but not a lot of people even know since I have a literal panic attack whenever I try Iin front of people. So turning a game I’m still obsessed with into a musical which I’m already obsessed with is amazing! Every singer/actor is superb and you feel what the character is feeling. I can’t help, but to always sing along. I’m stoked to have found you so that I may be able to listen to greatness. (Listening to you guys sing seem to always calm me down)

@nekophy - Thank you for being so adorable it’s adorable (which is weird to say since you’re older than me)! You may, if not are, the biggest Poth (and/or Geno x Reaper) shipper I have ever seen. Your art is so cute as well as your reactions to every piece of art you receive. You are a fantastic stick cat Miss Nekophy. And an awesome mother to a certain Goth. (Also tried to draw a kinda “human” you but looks bad so I’m sorry!)

@knittinggiantbeanies - Thank you for being a source of positivity! You as well as your following feel like a safe warm hug. You are so beautiful (much more than me by an immense amount because you’re so gorgeous). I’ve been here ever since Bill’s birthday video and am glad I stayed. You even introduced me to some of my now best friends in your Undertale stream. And I’ve never felt so close to those who are so far. I cannot thank you enough for that.

@chongoblog - Thank you for filling my dash in memes and references I still don’t understand! Never stop because you’re an All Star.

@superyoumna - You are a literal wizard with a mouse! You’ve showed me that even with limited resources you can still make something great (heck all I had to draw on was napkins and printer paper till this Christmas). Your art is almost as beautiful as you are. But your talent is so great I don’t think anything can compare. (I just now realized how many Undertale blogs I have on here)

@thatsthat24 - Thank you for being the king of 6 seconds. You spread positivity like a wildfire and smiles like a tsunami. You have an amazing voice and proved to all parents out there that watching cartoons is not only for kids, it’s for child-like adults as well. I love how you can turn my most depressing day just a little happier. (All the guys, gals, and non-binary pals love you bro)

The rest of these people are not in the drawing because I don’t know what they look like, forgot to add them, was lazy, or are personal friends:

@linnttop - You are an amazing artist and goofball. Im so happy I met you and that we made our friendship work despite the 11 hour time difference (Living on the other side of the world sucks man). But the fact you even tried to stay with me is truly inspiring. I shouldn’t even be worth your time, but you still do even if it’s short and sweet.

@straberrysoup aka Hotdogs - The oldest of the group yet you never act like it! She’s the yin to my orangutan. Your art is adorable as well as your face. I hope your glasses come in soon!

@mclov3ly101 - Such an amazing artist all around always getting better and better. No one in our group (or probably ever) will ship more people than you do. You have the look that turns girls lesbian and gay guys straighter than a stripping pole. I can’t wait to see what your Reaper comic has to offer. (Sportarobbie)

@chariskreplies aka Sans - Always in the shadows watching and sending things to the wrong chat. You’ll pop in and everyone’s happy when you do. Never stop punning EVER. 

@shitpilot and every other Voltron blog I follow - Thank you for helping keep Voltron on my dash so that its not entirely Undertale and TF2.

@comyet - Thank you for creating my favorite Sans of all time! Ink is my spirit skeleton and I love it. Also your art is incredible! I would totally buy your stuff if I had the money. NEVER stop doing what you do because you’re just too awesome to stop now. ( I can’t wait till you come back from your hiatus.)

@kenzykills - The one always asking me to draw yaoi for her shrine. You are the pervert yaoi shipper we all know and love. Thanks for making Japanese and science more “interesting”. (Stop asking for smut)

@quelloz - Thank you for making sure I don’t get too out of control. You are beautiful and an awesome friend. And I won’t rest until I get you with your lady love! I’LL HIT HER SO HARD WITH YOUR LOVE SHE’LL NEVER SEE IT COMING! (Raquello Raphaelo Ze Bastard Ze III :) Elizabeth Gurrrrero)

There’s no way I can thank all of you enough.2016 wasn’t the best year for me. Due to anxiety, depression, numbness, and a family member rushing in and out of the hospital. I doubt myself a lot saying I’m not pretty or my art is trash when i should have more of a positive outlook on myself, but it’s hard to when your parents tell you stuff like that every day. If it weren’t for every single one of these amazing people I don’t think I’d be alive today. I may not know all of them personally, but without them even knowing they helped me a lot. Even some of my friends that I mentioned are so close to my heart, but so far away for a hug. I love each and everyone of you and am looking forward to everything you do from here. Not just because you’re all amazing and talented, but because you give me something to live for. Thank you.