#the relationship seems pretty codependent tho ngl

[wannaeatramyeon]

So you write for Seongjoon huh?😏

I have a request for him (I love him so much!!)

His s/o breaking up with him but not because he was a Yakuza member but because of something else, maybe something related to his ex gf and him trying to get back together with reader.

I love angst to fluff🥰

Thanks in advance !!

Black anon

Listen, I promise I read over pretty thoroughly every ask I get. Then I go away, start writing, thinking yes yes this is it. Then come back and read over the ask again and realise I've barely hit the mark.

Baek Seongjun x Reader: Broken

You were there to put back the pieces after Hwang Hye-yeon.

You could never blame her. You would have done the same thing in her place, assumed the same motives.

But it's unfortunate that you find yourself loving a man so irrevocably damaged. You're not even sure if he has a heart. Maybe he had one that was fragmented and splintered and never put back whole again, maybe it was never there in the first place.

You made do with the pieces that you had. Cutting yourself, willingly let yourself bleed on his sharp edges. Painstakingly pouring your love and adoration and devotion into this task. Giving him all of yourself.

Sometimes you would find him staring off into the distance, his mind and thoughts a world away from you. These moments he shuts himself off from everything and everyone.

Sometimes he treats you like you're the only human in the world, the only one he sees.

You take the good with the bad. The shards still finds itself under your skin. Finds your doubts and insecurities.

.

.

Seongjun comes homes to you with your bags packed. You had nothing else to give. What else was there to say? What else could you do?

Out of everyone, he had never expected you to give up. His rock, his anchor. He had taken for granted that you would always be there.

Your dedication to him had always been easy to see. Why had he never shown you the same courtesy? Why does he find it so difficult to wear his heart on his sleeve - to show you what you truly mean to him?

To show how hard it is, how frustrating that he couldn't bring himself to bare everything to you. That his past and his true self is a monster, that he couldn't handle the rejection if you knew.

His tears surprise you both. He approaches you and murmurs promises into your hair. That he thinks he could make you happy.

That you make him feel honourable again, like someone he used to be.

(Who did he used to be? You didn't know. He never let you in.)

He wraps his arms around your waist. Clinging on, willing you to stay in his life.

"I love you. I'm trying."

The words hits you like a gut punch.

"Will that be enough?"

You look into his eyes. Beneath the tears, you see a new-found clarity and steely determination.

"Everything I am belongs to you."

Your breath hitches at the admission.

The days and nights you have spent with him, the scars you have formed. What's another chance.

.

.

He lays every part of himself before you.

The puzzle of Baek Seongjun becomes easier now you can see the whole picture. His worst fears are never realised. You stay by his side.

Slowly. Piece by piece. Together, you mend his heart.

For the first time in a long time, Seongjun finally feels it: happiness.

[meowmeowmessi]

Was Dean really so abusive towards Sam through out the whole series?

I have been seeing some Dean hate a lot 😔 about him being oh so abusive to Sam. I know most of it probably because of season 9 gaslighting. That was so in character for him tho, like he will do anything to prevent Sam from dying. His whole character is protecting Sam, I’m not sayin what he did right in anyway, but I understand... he was desperate. And all the violence was when he was under the influence of the mark. I can’t seem to recalll anytime when he was downright abusive towards Sam. Was he?

Aw nonnie, don't feel down -- there's still plenty of Dean love to go around! *hugs*

Since you brought up s9, I'll start from there! Personally, I agree with you. I know it's a horribly unpopular opinion and Sam stans will crucify me for this one (which is something I find myself saying a lot lately.......), but I wasn't at all shocked or offended by what Dean did in s9. I mean, was it horrible? Yes. Fucked up? Oh yeah, definitely. Probably the most fucked up thing one brother has done to another in the whole show imo. But what were you expecting? It's Dean. Dean NOT stuffing an angel inside Sam to keep him alive and instead letting Death reap his soul would've been ooc as hell??? Jensen said so himself, Sam is the brother who has the strength to live on without Dean, not Dean (not that it means Sam loves him any less, ofc not. Just that they love in different ways). Once again, Dean gaslighting Sam was pretty horrifying, I won't deny it, but spn isn't a sunshine and rainbows kind of show. Sam and Dean's codependency is fucked up, but it's FICTION, so you can't apply your everyday logic to them. Now an argument can be made that the narrative during that arc was pretty skewed by being quite partial to Dean. Having Dean realize what he'd done wrong and apologize would've been nice and restored balance to said narrative, but we didn't get a chance to see that bc Dean went and took on the Mark, and the rest you know pretty well. Honestly? I kind of don't care anymore bc it's clear that after s10 (aka starting from s11) Dean has improved SO MUCH and I think his extra protectiveness of Sam in s11 was partially a result of the guilt Dean might have felt over the whole MoC deal and turning-into-a-demon-and-nearly-killing-Sam business. My humble opinion is that post s10 Dean has had significant growth and trying to hate on him by bringing up shit he did in the previous seasons is pretty juvenile.

For example: I stumbled upon a meta once about what a dick Dean is bc in s15 he tricked Sam into eating bacon by telling him it was actually veggie burger and equating it with the whole Gadreel mess and I was like ?????????? Are y'all high???????? I agree that a person's dietary preferences should be respected without question, but maybe take off your Literature Student Glasses for one goddamn second and try to see the scene for what it is? A big brother joking around and messing with his little brother to cheer him up? It's not that deep dude. Idk what to tell y'all, but siblings do be like that.

The Gadreel thing and the MoC issue aside, another thing bitter Sam stans bring up to paint Dean as "abusive" is the panic room incident of s4. Which is... pretty iffy, ngl. Bc when I was watching s4 I myself hated Dean (and Bobby) for putting Sam in the panic room without even telling him. It was pretty cruel. And while I STILL have gripes about it, I think it's just another example of how the show is fucked up, Sam and Dean's dynamic is fucked up (said with affection), and how Dean treats Sam like his possession. Sam is his. He gets to decide Sam's fate. He will revive Sam, he will (almost) kill Sam, and the authority to make those decisions is his, not Sam's. Bc once again, in Dean's eyes he pretty much owns Sam. After all, he's his little brother. Fucked up, yes, but you're kind of an idiot if you expected anything healthy out of these two.

And there's Dean hitting soulless Sam in s6 when he tells him there's something wrong with him. The thing is, Dean didn't give a shit about soulless Sam. None. Once he realized that Sam's soul was missing he was hell bent on getting it back, and he didn't give a flying fuck about the soulless version of his brother. And soulless Sam knew that. Imo Sam at that point was just an empty shell to Dean and he didn't care about hitting him and hurting him. Bc the one he really cared about was the Sam WITH his soul intact. Dean was positively BEAMING when Sam got his soul back and was acting like his usual empathetic self again and not the cold soulless one. And he was so so careful with him after Death erected the wall in his head. Hell, Dean temporarily died to make that deal with Death. How could you possibly say that Dean doesn't love Sam?

Other minor things that bitter Sam girls/Dean haters use to prove that Dean is "abusive" include: Dean punching Sam in s2 (in the episode where they meet Gordon for the first time. Can't recall the name of the episode rip). Dean was hurt and angry and grieving John, and yeah, maybe that's not any reason to hit Sam, but he's human. He's more prone to violence than Sam is. Doesn't make him abusive. Siblings hit each other all the time, dude. It ain't that big of a deal. And Dean even apologized afterwards. And Sam FORGAVE HIM. Same goes for Dean punching Sam in s7 imo. Anger born of worry and all that.

And lastly, one meta madness I've seen is how Sam flinches whenever Dean has an outburst of anger. Some people use this as proof that Dean (and throw John in the mix too why don't you -_-) abused Sam as a kid and that's why he reacts that way. Which is such utter bullshit lol. Sam has PTSD. He flinches at the sound of closing doors, when he hears sudden footsteps, and just any abrupt noise in general. It has nothing to do with Dean aBuSiNg him as a kid and everything to do with the trauma he suffered throughout his life as a hunter (and then there's the Cage. And the multiple times he's been sexually assaulted. And on and on and on...) (and the reason why Dean doesn't have the same reaction as Sam is bc the symptoms of PTSD are different for everyone, bc rest assured, he too has trauma).

This is just my personal opinion tho! You can think whatever you want, but for me, Sam and Dean's relationship really can't be judged based on our standards of "normal". The things they do to (and for) each other are all part of their codependency. So no, I don't think Dean is abusive to Sam. He's done shit that can be called abusive, sure, but Sam and Dean operate on a moral compass that's completely different from our own, and we have to consider their actions with that in mind.

[fenweak]

2019 pat/jon fics!

As per tradition, here are some of my favorite 1988 fics that came out or were updated during the year. Give these authors some love, and here’s to more fics and more wins for the Hawks this coming year <3

Canon Divergent

take the plan, spin it sideways by clayisforgirls - E | 45,979 | future fic, GM Patrick

I'm gonna love you til my lungs give out by arenadomatthews - E | 2919 | future kidfic

too shy to say but i hope you stay by brokenlikeastitch - T | 4576 | patrick has epilepsy but jonny takes care of him

Classical Mechanics by fourfreedoms - M | 1595 | Orbital Resonance outtake

Dense by leonardodafic - 2890 | 5+1 obliviousness

We ain’t kids no more by tazernkaner - 4377 | getting together, (lack of) jealousy (or so it seems)

One of Us is Lying, One of Us is Crying by Iamsherlocked67 - 3195 | getting together after forced breakup??

put on a show for me by toewsin (haroldslouis) - E | 4853 | pwp, locker room striptease

Great News by fourfreedoms - T | 3992 | alex & dylan POV, your obligatory rookie get-them-together shenanigans

Make It Pretty by windsthatwhisper - E | 2985 | feminization, crossdressing, embarassed Jonny!!!

Side to Side all Summer Long by whatislife - E | 2572 | sub and slutty Jonny omg, pwp

take this too far (so we can see if it is far enough) by robokittens - E | 6615 | patrick/dylan/jonny pwp

No, I Never Told Lies To You by fourfreedoms - E | 6112 | post-game, this made me tear up ngl

easy does it by robokittens - E | 2137 | PWP

Vitamin K by fourfreedoms - E | 9373 | first time blow jobs

Emerald Green by eams81 - G | 855 | st. patrick's day fluff

Date Night by Bittersweet - G | 250 | date night

Didn't Know That Was a Thing by AnythingThrice - T | 1,303 | ust, prostate toys ;A;

Casablanca (I want to be shameless like the sun) by Caivallon - E | 7668 | roleplaying

Hands On Me by windsthatwhisper - E | 3230 | nhl awards pwp

8-8-19 by CoffeeKristin - G | 895 | established relationship fluff

you won't ask and i won't say by littlelocaldreamer - E | 4329 | offseason fic, family stuff angst

So Much More Than Just Best Friends by AlinaLovesHockey - T | 1129 | confessions

his voice is a familiar sound by littlelocaldreamer - E | 2178 | morning sex, angst

Play It Straight by SimoneClouseau - E | 6223 | fuck buddies

drown for your love (and then repeat) by captaintoews lavenderharry) - E | 1310 | pwp

red eye by robokittens - G | 579 | fluff, established relationship

It Was a Very Good Year by booray (sterne) - G | 814 | autumnal feelings

to follow all the paths you choose by littlelocaldreamer - E | 20,788 | getting together

Let Her Cry by NoSaneMan - 1633 | alcoholism angst

safety first by toewsin (haroldslouis) - T | 1645 | 5+ 1, protectiveness

to desire is to be unquiet by captaintoews (lavenderharry) - G | 2792 | h/c, established relationship

we were reachin', reachin' for the rafters by capnseriouslycanadian - G | 1504 | nostalgia, angst and fluff

Wrong Cop, Right Man by AnythingThrice - T | 1749 | halloween party fic

the only one my body loves by littlelocaldreamer - E | 3416 | size difference

Shitshow by AnythingThrice (WIP)- E | 19,989 | relationship negotiation, pron with feelings

Just Getting Started by allthebros - T | 1814 | insomnia, h/c

Coffee Talk by Kkane88 - 1960 | post-break up getting back together

us two by ishybishy (WIP)- E | 13,310 | relationship vignettes, angst fluff and smut

sun come ease me in by oakshields - E | 15,601 | established relationship, dylan strome is a distraction

in this bed next to you by gasmsinc - E | 2192 | established relationship, post-game

something like h/c by toewsyourheart - M | 1516 | post-practice h/c

A Long Time Coming by the_darklordofall1 - T | 2938 | obliviously dating

reds by yummyda - T | 3392 | daddy kink

Shawty With You by allthebros - E | 6764 | mistletoe kisses

i'll be home (for christmas) by oakshields - E | 7780 | established relationship, christmas in winnipeg

you may ask yourself by littlelocaldreamer - E | 3301 | morning sex 

AUs

Today's Another Day To Find You by jezziejay - M | 24,854 | ex-husbands post-divorce au

More Than I Could Ever Promise by Linsky - E | 47,018 | Royalty bodyguard au

our decades in the sun by toewsin (haroldslouis) - E | 21,097 | slow build where patrick is a hotel heir

good form by Anonymous - E | 3419 | girl!patrick, college AU

"of gifts and fireflies" by huntersandangels - M | 46,582 | trust fund baby patrick on a journey of self discovery

old pine by gasmsinc - E | 2034 | werewolves a/b/o, camping

Field of Shadows by allthebros - E | 6515 | one-hand jonny returns with ptsd, established relationship, codependency

where have all the flower by gasmsinc - E | 4869 | a/b/o, animal transformation

get drunk on the good life by gasmsinc - E | 6005 | mob AU, crossdressing

Stand (You’re Gonna Run Again) by windsthatwhisper - E | 13,840 | military, angst with a happy ending

gasolina by toewsin (haroldslouis) - E | 14,521 | mechanic!patrick

Night Moves by heartstrings - T | 10,171 | college au, drunken shenanigans

Chips and Cribs by whatislife - 2034 | mpreg

baby, i can get you in my ride by thundersquall - E | 10,695 | pwp

Pretend it's just you and me by Sail_On, TheNorthRemembers - (WIP)  - E | 87,848 | mob AU

send my love (to your new lover) by gasmsinc - E | 9584 | nanny patrick

and then i was like (ficlets from tumblr) by sorrylatenew (WIP) - E | 6115 | assorted stuff but so good

Holla Die Waldfee by ThalassicThedes (50niftiesus) - T | 3215 | magical au

now a soft kiss by cuddlefighter (bibbasaur) - E | 70,948 | georgette heyer's the convenient marriage au

we are only what we always were by windsthatwhisper - T | 2,113 | salem witch trials

Wick: a The Secret Garden fusion by allthebros - T | 1240 | secret garden fusion

Murder, He Wrote by jezziejay - M | 33,241 | murder on the nile AU, patrick and jonny solving crimes and being in love circa 1930 hhhhhh

soft, softer, softly by heartstrings - E | 12,920 | a/b/o, mainly dylan/alex but this was beautiful

spread my dreams under your feet by thundersquall - E | 16,234 | magical realism, friends to lovers, jonny has prophetic dreams (he does tho)

Kitten Sittin' by Celly1995 for hippietoews - G | 2445 | kitten kaner fluff!

Race Like Falcons to Crash and Burn by Linsky - E | 74,689 | bg 1988 only, but wolfverse installment!

Isn’t She Lovely by windsthatwhisper - G | 2497 | wishbaby au | with podfic by captaintoews (lavenderharry)

Contact High by cupstealer - E | 84,918 | sentinel au!!!!!!

Going Five-Hole by sorrylatenew - E | 6331 | pwp, surprise vagina sfshkfs

Its in the past by candy_belle - 1347 | blackhawks convention but make it a/b/o

tame the strength of the ocean by thisissirius (thirteentorafters) - T | 3727 | fast and furious AU

The Florida Job by AnythingThrice - T | 21,398 | genderbending, some like it hot (1959) inspired!

Figuratively Speaking by Celly1995 - 1118 | smoothie shop owner jonny!

the promises you keep by gasmsinc - E | 31,349 | sugar daddy, age differences

do you know who you are? by liveinfury - T | 6495 | college AU

A Sure Thing by thundersquall - E | 45,563 | escort!patrick

Through My Eyes by allthebros - T | 2429 | urban fantasy, psychic!patrick!

Media Vita In Morte Sumus by jezziejay - T | 1089 | just better read this one for max surprise

Wishery by slexenskee (Sambomaster) - T | 24,542 | Quidditch star Patrick!

work from home by toewsin (haroldslouis) - M | 17,071 | personal assistant jonny

hiraeth by ishybishy (WIP) - 1136 | magical au, soulmates, there are dragons?

Marriage Jitters by MrsBarnes (WIP) - E | 4396 | marriage, fluff and humor

Quantum Entanglement by TheNorthRemembers - E | 214,572 | the continuing saga of time traveler patrick

The Reality of Things by windsthatwhisper - E | 27,803 | french teacher!jonny

The Best Gifts Are The Ones You Don't See Coming by Mullsandmutts - G | 3414 | holiday timestamp to can you lyft me up

Fist Bumps are Deadly by palladium - T | 26,130 | bodyswap, soulmates

Ricochet by heartstrings (WIP) - E | 74,152 | young partners in crime au