#the requirements to be 'gainfully self employed'

[reallyhardydraws]

caught a cold 😷 oof. was gonna work today and be like ayyy grindset no days off! but uhhh i might just upload the leftovers from yesterday's market onto my online shop and then call it for the day: anyone waiting on commissions (i think its just 2 people right now) i'll start up working on those tomorrow

commissions are absolutely open though and i think if you want something specifically in time for the 25th december i can still get them done if you email me on or before the 21st.

[studymustelid]

April 25th at 10:27 p.m. Hello all!

It is I, everyone's favorite health data studying mustelid (or something of that sort)

My classes are coming to a close soon which is really great for my brain! All As this semester!

I feel kind of full in there sometimes, like I'm at capacity and deviating from routine or exploring will kind of blow up the remaining shred of brain-power I have left. It's like that meme with the ball

I'll have a little more capacity for thought in about a year which is nice though. Last semester and the beginning of this one, my father chastised me a bit for not taking 4 classes (which requires dean approval) but

1) I had to drop a class last semester (my first semester)

2) 4 classes would have honestly rendered me nonfunctional

I think *part of it* is that I'm honestly a much better student (in the studious sense of the word, I study better and more actively absorb information) when I'm controlling more facets of my life -- when the pandemic happened I insisted on moving back to my apartment and despite the general lack of social interaction being kind of insane for my head I was significantly better for it.

But the other part of it is very obviously that I am in grad school, in a technical field, learning a lot of new things! My dad has a masters but it is not in a super technical field (a masters is a masters) and he mentioned that it should be easy to take 4 classes because I took 5 - 6 at times in undergrad and grad school is "mostly writing and talking"

which...eh, I guess. Reasonable amount of programming too though, at the very least sub-par technical skills. Anyways, basically AHHHHHH!!

I still have to finish off grading which is tiring, but apparently! Apparently! Both my professor and the administration are chill will me leaving the country for a couple weeks lol. So that's nice. I'll be a TA until I graduate it seems!

I do sometimes feel rather self-conscious about not having a real job or not doing anything (despite the fact that I am in fact, in graduate school and doing things as we speak!).

Especially since all but two of my friends are working (some in a professional capacity, some while waiting for grad school). I think if I were at a more traditional program and not living at home this feeling would be lessened a smidge, but as of now it kind of remains and likely will until I'm gainfully employed.

On the bright side, I'll have my practicum in the fall semester and it'll likely be a paid internship!

I do feel like being a little overachiever would probably leave me falling apart but I am really tired of having no brain power while feeling bored with nothing to do, so ideally I'll have no brain power AND feel busy lol

[blueikeproductions]

Heathers AU future careers weren’t really something I gave much thought to, but everyone is gainfully employed in a well paying job or just in a position where they’re well off and don’t need to worry about it (Mostly the remaining Heathers on the later, and the Sawyers chipping in to help their daughter’s family during financial downs early on).

JD is sort of the mystery because every other universe, he dies, so a future career isn’t really on his radar. Alleged commentary from Christian Slater suggests OG JD faked his death and is still running around to eventually reunite with Veronica years later and possibly conspire with her to murder a Heather like soccer mom clique…

I’ve been poking around Spy X Family and Buddy Daddies lately so I think we all know where this is going.

AU Jason Dean, post Heathers is now Jason “JD” Heron (Heron being his mom Jocelyn’s maiden name, which JD took in rejection of his father’s side), ultimately decides not to go to college, and works odd jobs around town to pay back the Bravermans’ kindness and later support Veronica when they marry. Veronica Heron is more of the breadwinner, working as a novelist, having written a particularly successful YA series very loosely “inspired” by her and her friends’ high school days.

After Vincent and Victoria are born, JD stumbles into a lucrative trade he excelled in… becoming a hit man. Turns out Sherwood and the surrounding areas have a very involved seedy underbelly, plenty of evil assholes for JD to exact vengeance upon.

JD True Lies his way around the gig to Veronica and Dan for awhile until he falls into a case that requires Veronica’s skills in forgery. Veronica and Dan had long since figured out what he was doing, and we’re waiting for him to confess to them, and reluctantly Veronica assists in JD’s current case. The case goes successfully, and soon Veronica starts assisting more often until the two become a hit man team cleansing Sherwood’s underbelly. Dan occasionally assists the two in cases (usually in a costumed “alter ego” out of mild self consciousness), but primarily focuses on babysitting Vincent and Victoria if JD and Veronica have a “weekend trip”. Martha is oblivious to what her best friend and husband get into, like in high school, and is just happy to have her nephew and niece come visit often.

Liam Braverman, Levi Duke and Felicia Kelly-Sweeny are the only kids to figure out what JD and Veronica actually DO for a living because they were visiting one day and found JD’s hit list and some suspicious forgeries he and Veronica absent mindedly left on the counter next to some bills. They try to… subtly ask Vincent and Victoria about it, but Vincent finds it silly his bibliophilic mom would kill people as she’s hard at work on her next book (which is true), while Victoria refuses to believe her old man would actually do anything that cool. The trio opt not to say anything to anyone else for the time being.

[informationsorter]

Breakdown of scientific sources

Incest-related syndromes of adult psychopathology.

Associated-names: Richard P. Kluft 1990 Based on a symposium held at the 140th Annual Meeting of the American Psychiatric Association, in Chicago, Ill., in May of 1987

This paper digs into whether or not incestual child abuse "predisposes toward dissociative disorders in a manner different from other forms of abuse".

"Experience indicates that the more severe and/or ritualistic the abuse suffered as a child, the more fragmented is the adult patient’s personality and thinking. Victims of satanic abuse are likely to exhibit polyfragmented atypical dissociative disorder (ADD) (dissociative disorder NOS) or po- lyfragmented MPD. Some victims of incest may not exhibit any exag- gerated or special dissociative psychopathology. The discovery of incest in the history of a patient with a dissociative disorder, however, should be taken as an indicator that “something worse” may have happened to account for the psychopathology."

In 7 case studies, 3 were polyfragmented.

"Miss CL’s lack of identity as a child, her chaotic early life, the abuse within her foster family, and the family’s psychopathology seem to be factors that would perpetuate dissociation precipitated by the abuse. Miss CL is, in fact, polyfragmented with five principal systems of personalities and many fragments. She has been doing well in therapy, but requires large doses of medication to maintain control. Although she has exhibited no self-mutilatory behaviors and has not made any suicide attempts, on two occasions she required hospitalizations for severe suicidal ideation and once was hospitalized for obsessive homicidal ideation."

"As a young woman, Miss MM already had a number of personalities and an even greater number of fragments." "In therapy, nine full personalities and hundreds of fragments and spe- cial-purpose fragments were discovered. They were organized into seven systems of personalities and complementary fragments. Miss MM suffers polyfragmented MPD, as one would expect to find in a victim of such severe child abuse. Nevertheless, as one sees more often than not in MPD sufferers, Miss MM is intelligent, highly hypnotizable, and creative. She holds an advanced degree in the sciences, won at great effort on her part."

"Mrs. WM is a 40-year-old, married, white female who also manifests the rule of thumb that 'the more ritualistic and severe the abuse, the more fragmented the victim's personality.' Mrs. WM is one of the most fragmented and disturbed patients ever seen by the author. She appears to be close to a polyfragmented MPD; however, an earlier working diagnosis was polyfragmented ADD."

"At the time of referral, Mrs. WM was unable to function socially. A few years earlier, she had held a job as a teacher. Now she could not hold three consecutive thoughts; her writing consisted of page after page of words without punctuation or capitalization. She was unable to make any statements about sex or to use words that named or described sexual organs. At this point, her working diagnosis was polyfragmented ADD, based in part on the rapid “switching” observed by her therapists." "Because large doses of propranolol have been useful in decreasing switching and fragmentation in other patients, propranolol was added to her regimen of benzodiazepines... Throughout most of the course of therapy she recieved 240mg of propranolol. As of this writing she is functioning well as an outpatient, is gainfully employed, and is no longer taking any psychotropic medications."

The paper concludes:

"The more severe and prolonged the trauma, the more severe the fragmentation."

"Severity and the ritual nature of abuse has a significant causative re- lationship with polyfragmentation in ADD and/or in MPD. Ritual, satanic abuse is usually administered by parents and other family cult members, and incest is of necessity involved. Incestuous abuse is not necessarily related to the most severe, polyfragmented forms of MPD; however, ritual abuse, with or without incest, is the most common underlying cause of polyfragmentation for MPD or dissociative disorders NOS."

Below are some excerpts which I found interesting, but are not strictly related to polyfragmentation. Please be aware that the following contain sensitive subjects and may be triggering. Case study Miss MM: "A special-purpose fragment (Braun 1986a) appeared to only perform fellatio. When this fragment was present in therapy, Miss MM's somatic memory reproduced on her body the red stripes and welts associated with the beatings inflicted by her mother during the filming on child pornography. Somatic memory is the reproduction of physical symptoms similar or identical to those experienced at a previous (often traumatic) time."

An interesting note about “object” alters: " 'Ego fragmentation' replaces ego constriction in severely affected victims who may fragment completely into multiple personalities or more complexly into the “part-object/part-self” representations seen in bor- derline personality disorder. "

Defining alters VS fragments: "The ability to dissociate is necessary for “splitting,” the creation of a separate personality or fragment. A split-off personality has a full range of consistent and ongoing response patterns, whereas a fragment may exist only for limited, special purposes (Braun 1986a). Special-purpose fragments make up the bulk of the large numbers of “personalities” ex- hibited in some dramatic, highly publicized MPD patients; no more than 2 to 10 full personalities may exist in such patients."

[crimechannels]

By • Olalekan Fagbade Jubilatuons as group is set to address joblessness among Nigerian youth Mr Richard Romanus, the National Programme Manager, Youth Empowerment and Social Support Operations (YESSO) expressed determination to address the prevailing unemployment among the youth in Nigeria. The News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) reports that, YESSO 2.0 is a federal government’s social investment programme under the National Social Investment Programme (NSIP). Romanus stated this on Monday when he paid a working visit to the Director-General, National Directorate of Employment (NDE) in Abuja. He expressed his readiness to partner with the directorate towards providing an enduring intrapreneurship skills that would help the youngsters to realise their potentialities. According to him, the initiative have became imperative as it would deliver the youths from the shackles of poverty, deprivation and exploitation by engaging them in productive ventures. “We are here to seek for collaboration and support from stakeholders like the NDE to support us achieve the set goals for the commencement of YESSO 2.0 Programme” he said “We are ready to partner with your organisation with a view to enhancing employment opportunities for thousands of Nigerian Youths in line with President Bola Tinubu’s Renewed Hope Agenda. “We have identified NDE as a major player in the success of our programme 1.0, that’s why we are here to seek the same support towards making the YESSO 2.0 even bigger and more successful” he said Romanus said, YESSO 2.0 has lined up programmes for implementation that will enable the teeming youth population in Nigeria to become gainfully employed to maximize their entrepreneurial potential. “Many young people are unemployed not because there was no job for them, but because they do not have the required and marketable skills that would provide them with employment skills and opportunities” “YESSO programme was about training on skills for jobs, so we will partner with NDE to train these thousand of youths on marketable skills that will make them self-employed. ” We would ensure that they have startup funds where possible” the programme manager said. Earlier, the Director General of the NDE, Mr Abubakar Fikpo, represented by the Director, Vocational Skills Development, Mr. Issah Abdu, expressed the readiness of the Directorate to support the YESSO’s initiative. He assured that the Directorate would continue to partner with relevant institutions towards supporting federal government’s efforts in addressing youth unemployment that will lead to poverty reduction in the country. The D-G used the opportunity to congratulate the newly appointed manager of YESSO 2.0 and his team. Fikpo maintained that, the administration of youth related programmes must be run bu the youth themselves. He said, NDE had successfully executed the implementation of YESSO 1.0 Programme through collaboration with the World Bank. He therefore assured the visitors that NDE will partner different segment of YESSO 2.0 programme to ensure its success. The D-G also told the gathering that NDE has no fewer than 96 vocational skills acquisition centres across the country. He said, the centres includes Agricultural and Mobile Training Centres as well as Workshop booths in rural areas spread across the country(NAN)

[financelatestnews]

How to Finance Home Gym Equipment with a Personal Loan?

We all wish to lead a physically fit and healthy life, but in this high-paced environment, living under the constant stress of outperforming in our professional lives and running after our goals, it takes a backseat.

The situation is true not only for urban/top metro cities in India but also common in most of the small cities of India, where youth neglect the importance of staying physically and mentally fit.

But given the changing dynamics, people nowadays are realizing the importance of staying physically fit. It helps in improving overall appearance, boosts energy level, and can better handle a challenging situation which helps to build a strong professional image.

Realising the importance, many office campuses and residential societies have come up with a dedicated fitness centre/gym, where employees or members can walk freely and sweat out. Or, you can take a membership at your nearest fitness centre facility.

However, considering the current situation to avoid crowded places and also the paucity of time due to various work engagements, it gets difficult to visit the gym every time, thus affecting our physical training routine.

In such a scenario, setting up your gym at your home is the best option, as you will always have access and can train as per your convenience. You don’t have to depend on commercial fitness centres and find a perfect time slot to work on your fitness routine. Also, it’s quite economical to set up a personal gym.

Having said that, let’s learn more about home gym equipment financing and some of its advantages.

Gym Equipment Financing

Depending on your training requirements, the cost of gym equipment can range from a few thousand rupees to lakh. For instance, one of the most basic requirements is a treadmill, which costs above Rs 50,000 for a good model and set dumbbells and home kit gym equipment will cost a few thousand.

Thus, the cost of installing a complete range of gym equipment can run in a few lakh which is a huge financing challenge.

In such a scenario, choosing an online personal loan for home gym equipment financing is the best way to make it happen. With access to credit of up to Rs 25 lakh and reasonable EMIs, you can give shape and customise your home gym as per your requirement.

Must Read: What is the Minimum Salary Required for a Personal Loan?

Advantages of Gym Equipment Financing

Flexible Tenure: With a maximum tenure of up to 60 months, using a personal loan EMI calculator, you can select the tenure of online personal loan as per your repayment capability

Affordable Interest Rate: The interest rate on online personal loan starts from 11.99%, which makes it an attractive and cost-effective option for home gym equipment financing

No End-use Restriction: With no end-use restriction, you can purchase gym equipment or customise your home gym as per your requirement

No Collateral Required: Unlike mortgage loans, online personal loan for gym equipment financing doesn’t require you to put your assets on the block to secure the loan

Instant Approvals: Contrary to other categories of loans, personal loans are approved instantly (within 24 hours) and the amount is directly credited to your account. Therefore, you don’t have to wait for long to arrange for funds. 

Minimum Documentation: You just need to submit KYC documents, address proof and income proof to buy gym equipment on easy EMI .

Eligibility Criteria for Personal Loan

Must be a resident citizen of India

Should be between 21 to 60 years of age

Must have a regular source of income or gainfully employed

Should have a good credit score

Minimum Income Level

For salaried professional residing in Delhi and Mumbai: Rs 25,000

For salaried professional residing in rest of India: Rs 20,000

For self-employed, the minimum income level differs based on profession and industry

Documents Required

Duly filled application form

KYC documents (PAN, AADHAR)

Proof of address

Last three months salary slips

Last six months bank statement

IT returns or form 16

Proof of Income and business financial statements (for self-employed)

How to Successfully Apply for a Personal Loan?

If you are unsure about your loan application approval or the amount you will be able to raise for purchasing home gym equipment, using the online personal loan eligibility calculator will give you an instant estimate and approval chance.

Must Read: How to Apply for a Personal Loan

The Fullerton India personal loan eligibility depends on multiple factors like employment status, income level, credit score, age and more. Also, using the personal loan EMI calculator, you can set your monthly EMI and tenure as per your preference.

When it comes to your health and fitness, you should not compromise on it and inculcate the habit of training regularly and consistently. Having a home gym helps you to get into shape at your convenience and also helps you to save a lot on membership fees, time travelling to the gym, and most important, reduced medical expenses and a healthy mind.

Source: https://www.smfgindiacredit.com/knowledge-center/how-to-finance-home-gym.aspx

[jebazzled]

They can’t ALL be serial killers: keeping your villains funky fresh

Ah, villains. Spicy assholes. Tricky buggers.

Villains can be very intimidating to write: writing requires you to put yourself in the shoes of another person, which is one thing to do with a decent person. But when you are putting yourselves in the shoes of a bad one - whether it be someone who is simply not very likeable or someone who functions in an antagonistic capacity to a story or rp universe’s hero - well, it can be uncomfortable. 

I didn’t start writing villains until well into my rp career, and I can’t think of a single character I wrote in my undergraduate creative writing degree who was an asshole. I now write a small handful of them - and like most things, I don’t think writing a villain is quite as scary as we sometimes build it up to be in our minds!

That said, writing a villain is an exercise in nuance, and this is something that is often missing from antagonistic characters. In this tutorial, we’ll talk about what makes a villain, and what makes a villain a well-rounded character. 

Triggers, mentioned largely in passing as examples: criminal activity, murder, assault, child abuse, car accident, drunk driving, animal abuse

What makes a villain?

Generally, when we talk about villains, it’s in the context of a narrative, some sort of overall plot theme where there is Good and there is Evil. Think: Death Eaters, the Dark Side, the Horde, the Daleks, the Orcs, etc, etc etc. For the purposes of this tutorial, I’m talking about characters who serve in that antagonistic role, but everything can also be applied to characters who are just shitty people without a part to play in any larger scheme. 

In a plot context, per Oxford Languages, a villain is “a character whose evil actions or motives are important to the plot.” To be important to the plot, you do have to post, and if that’s something you’re struggling with, you might want to check out my Writer’s Block TED Talk ;)

A villain can have any number of reasons for being Like That: perhaps they were raised with a particular worldview, or were targeted by a negative influence at an impressionable and vulnerable stage, or genuinely believe they are doing the right and good thing. Maybe they’re just an asshole. In-character, your character likely doesn’t identify as a villain (because everyone is the hero of their own story) and in-character, your character might have friends, allies, and others with varying knowledge of your character’s misdeeds. 

However, out-of-character, you and other writers should recognize that your character is a shitty person. Writing one-dimensional, universally terrible assholes isn’t much fun, though. Which is where nuance comes in. 

Give your character other traits than “evil.” 

Unless your character is THE Big Bad - the Voldemort, the Sauron, the Hordak Prime - there is no reason for them to be Ultimate Evil, and writing them as an endless wash of evil will be boring for you to write and boring for other people to read. Your character should be something other than naughty. 

Using my own handful of villains/bad guys as examples, since obviously I take my own advice, and with apologies that 99% of my rp writing is in the HP verse:

Claude is a Death Eater as well as second-in-command of the magical mafia. He’s an expert blackmailer, has no qualms with murder, and can get pretty gruesome about it if he’s pressed to make a point. He also doesn’t drink, is a devoted father (has framed finger paintings in his study! drinks the pink lemonade his daughters love in crystal rocks glasses!), uses weird slang (”beat it, bozo!”) and takes the family spaniel on daily walks through Kensington Gardens. 

Cleo is a Death Eater and a lifelong bully, prone to theft, physical abuse, and with a knack for the Cruciatus Curse. She’s also deeply insecure, with an unshakeable need to be seen as useful; she’s competitive, and she’s horny enough to drop her purist pretense if a Muggle girl is what’s easiest to get her rocks off. 

Sadie is a squib spying on Order-organized safehouses for the Death Eaters. She’s also intensely curious and ambitious, determined and self-directed, and if she doesn’t understand emotions, it certainly doesn’t stop her from understanding how to manipulate them to maintain the illusion that she is not a threat. 

All three of these character concepts are more compelling than:

Veronica is rude, hates people, is outwardly mean to everyone she meets, uses cultural slurs on the regular.

We get it! Veronica is a shitty person! What else is she? In real life, shitty people typically do find camaraderie somewhere, somehow. Maybe Richie is a total asshole but has made a lot of money from his hedge fund, and he is generous enough with his yacht, ski condo, and jet that he has an entourage he thinks are genuinely his friends. Maybe Kaiytlynn is selfish and entitled, but her access to the entire royal family of Spain keeps her gainfully employed, and she’s genuinely good with her bedazzled bra business. Maybe Claudia is a giant racist, and she’s also YouTube’s most popular craft video creator. 

In real life, maybe there are some shitty people who exhibit fully antisocial behaviors and are rewarded for it. But this is fiction writing, and moreover, it is collaborative fiction writing, and Veronica is not a character who is fun or enjoyable to plot with. Antagonistic plots can have more trouble finding their footing than strictly romantic ones - but they can be fun and rewarding, provided that the antagonist is a compelling one. 

Let your character be something other than “evil.”

Give your character a cover.

More specifically than a trait other than “evil,” give your character a cover. By this I mean: give your character an angle that obscures their true colors, something that lures people - good people and bad people - into a sense of safety. 

Give your character something that keeps other characters from taking one quick look at yours and immediately clocking them as a bad guy. 

In real life, it often takes time to realize toxic people are toxic. In real life, people enjoy circumstances that make people less likely to view them as toxic - just look at the number of people who think Jeff Bezos’s obscene wealth is a marker of his merit as a human being. 

If your character commits a murder a week, is actively abusive to everyone they meet, and has no relationships with any other characters who might vouch for them - idk, man, I think your character is going to get caught! If your character is a quiet and unobtrusive owner of a vintage boutique, however? Well, they certainly don’t scream “IT’S ME! I’M BAD TO THE MOTHERFUCKING BONE!”

In the case of my bad guys:

Claude is a doting husband and father, notably not ascribing to purist tendencies that discourage women from work outside the home. He does legitimate work in real estate and investments, in addition to his shady dealings, to have a legally-sound paper trail should he ever be investigated. His family money funds an entire wing at St. Mungo’s Hospital, and he contributes to political campaigns for centrist politicians. He presents as a harmless goofball. He killed a man well before he turned seventeen. He almost went to Azkaban before graduating from Hogwarts. (”Oh, but he’s on the straight and narrow now!”)

Claude’s cover is that he masquerades as a genuinely good person, and a nice person. When people think about his old-money Sacred 28 family and what that might mean for Claude’s political activity, they also think about how he is a Gryffindor - not known for churning out Death Eaters - and they think about how he doesn’t seem intense enough to be a Death Eater. They don’t suspect enough to have much to go on. 

Cleo works as an Auror, and she’s genuinely good at her job - if only because she manipulates cases away from incriminating Death Eaters and their allies and occasionally Imperiuses a contact or two from her days as a Knockturn Alley bouncer to frame them for a crime. She doesn’t use slurs like “mudblood” at the office and doesn’t talk about blood status there, either. She doesn’t pretend to be nice, and her honesty there makes it easier to believe she’s not pretending when she does her job. It helps, too, that she is not Marked. 

Cleo’s cover is that while she seems like an asshole and is an asshole, she works in the agency tasked with eliminating Dark wizards and she’s good at her job, as far as anyone can tell. She is an asshole, but there isn’t reason to suspect she is an asshole who is part of the Death Eaters, and it is not illegal to be a dick.

Sadie goes out of her way to be friendly to every new safehouse occupant, acting as a guide to newbies about how to live in the shadows. She performs the role of caretaker, therapist, and confidant, carefully doling out the reveal that she is a squib for sympathetic effect. 

Sadie’s cover is that she manipulates other people into viewing her as too weak to be any kind of threat, and she intentionally manipulates people into relying on her for support and guidance. 

If your character is not experiencing social repercussions for being an asshole, they need to have a cover. If they are being an outright asshole, this should negatively impact them somehow. 

An outright asshole might be stuck in a dead-end job because no one wants to promote someone who’s not a team player. An outright asshole might be super lonely without the self-awareness to realize that their garbage personality is the reason for their romantic troubles. An outright asshole might not be able to talk their way out of a problem. 

If your character is an outright asshole and experience no repercussions whatsoever, they’re probably a bit OP. 

Give your character a motive. 

Now the big question: why is your character Like That? Like, for real. It’s so easy not to be a dick. Why are they a dick? What’s in it for them?

Yes, some characters might be an asshole because they think it’s fun and they like to watch other people suffer. But if all your characters are like that - isn’t that kind of boring?

If all your characters are like that - are you actually writing distinct, well-developed characters, or are you just spitting out the same edgelord with different faces?

Some of your character’s reason for being a dick can be because they think it’s fun. It can’t be the entire reason. It especially can’t be the entire reason all the time. 

Of course you can come up with a big tragic reason why a character is an asshole - but it truly doesn’t have to be that deep. (Tips on tragic backstories here.)

Of my baddies:

Claude is a purist because someone has to be a lesser class, and it’s sure as shit not going to be him! Claude is a Death Eater because his father saw a business opportunity - both direct work (e.g. the DE contracting Claude and his goons out for a hit, trafficking dark goods, doing deals with purist groups in other magical organized crime outfits across Europe) and indirect work (e.g. having stronger appeal to some of the most influential wizarding families.) He doesn’t love being branded with the Dark Mark (HE is the master of his fate, goddammit!) but hey, it’s a living.

This is a motive centered around financial gain and expediency. Claude is shitty to value money over human life, and he has no qualms about violence - but the motive is not “fun.”

Cleo is a Death Eater because, as a girl from a pureblood family of no importance, she recognizes that many of the people in the Death Eaters are important and influential, and she wants that kind of power. Additionally, she does get a kick out of violence, but she’s a weapon more than she is a fighter: she’s a tool who needs someone to wield her, to give instructions, to give her purpose. The Death Eaters offer both.

This is a motive centered around status and around order - Cleo being a person who needs order externally forced upon her. 

Sadie is working for the Death Eaters because she believes they will win the First Wizarding War, and she wants to secure a place in their new order - ideally something more than she had previously as a squib. She figures if the good guys are really good they’ll forgive her for keeping herself alive - but that the bad guys won’t forgive disloyalty. Also, her boss in the Death Eaters indulges her research in the Dark Arts, which is fun. 

This is a motive centered around security and self-satisfaction. It’s very selfish and cold, but it’s not, like, Sid from Toy Story. 

Why is your character Like That? What do they get out of Being Bad? What do they like about it? What purpose does it serve for them? 

If you can’t think of a reason your character would be a Bad Guy beyond that you want to write a Bad Guy, you should probably rework the character. It’s tricky to write someone who really should just be a Good Guy as a Bad Guy because, depending on your site’s setting, you might end up being a Bad Guy Apologist, leaning into the positive qualities of your character without writing them as an actual villain/antagonist/baddie - and remember, Death Eaters are shitty people! Antagonists antagonize! They should be complex, but you should never lose sight of an abusive class being abusive! 

And finally,

They can’t all be serial killers.

It’s tempting, since we’re writing fiction here and we all love drama, to reach straight for a Big Evil when we’re writing a baddie. They murdered ___! Egads!

If all of your baddies murdered their spouse/parent/sibling, again I ask you: are you actually writing distinct, well-developed characters, or are you just spitting out the same edgelord with different faces?

(If all your baddies specifically murdered a woman, might I ask you to examine this choice? Misogynistic violence is not a shortcut to character development.)

Cast of characters aside - what is it your character does that makes them evil? It is worth noting that bad behavior exists on a spectrum, and to jump to the far end of that spectrum without building the character up to it is often jarring and confusing. There are many, many things your character can do that might contribute to their Bad IdentityTM without killing anyone!

Baby Bads: No one gets hurt in a serious way, but the character is unpleasant. Think: a schoolteacher might not let you go to recess. You might get detention. Examples:

petty theft

general assholery

bullying

lying, small & large scale

general unkindness

minor manipulation for personal gain

Middling Misdeeds: These might cause some harm - physically, emotionally, or otherwise - but there’s some room for smart-talking or otherwise evading major consequences. Think: suspension. Examples:

larger theft and other money-related naughties: money laundering, ponzi schemes, etc

physical assault/battery

blackmail

bribery

large-scale manipulation for personal gain or for fun

hate speech (to be clear, I, JB, think this is way more than middling, but in art as in life, a lot of characters are going to do it and get away with it.)

Terrible Transgressions: The far end of the spectrum of antagonistic behavior. If your character is doing this shit, it shouldn’t be coming out of the blue. If your character is doing this shit, there’s got to be a character-driven reason beyond “flavor.” These are things that would get you expelled and moved into criminal court. A lot of things that are viewed as standard topics requiring a trigger warning fit into this category. 

murder

sexual assault

torture

child abuse

It’s easy in rp, where there are often way more criminal types in a character population than we hope exist IRL, to forget that murder is.... like.... it’s a BIG DEAL. It’s not something everyone has done. And thank dog, right?

If you’re attached to your character being someone’s cause of death, for specific character-driven reasons, you might think about alternatives. For example, if you hope to convey that Brandon Baddie is a callous asshole, instead of having him kill his roommate over a household chores dispute, you might have him drive drunk, hit a pedestrian, get out of the car, see the body, and drive away. If you hope to convey that Sandy Sadist is cruel, you might have her threaten her sister’s dog, but not actually hurt it, enjoying the fear of the sister and of the dog more than she would enjoy actually hurting either. If you hope to communicate that Ruthie Reckless is thoughtless, you might have her driving 100 mph speeding to the edge of a cliff while her father sobs in the passenger seat, stopping just inches from the edge. 

There are so many ways to make a point. If you’re going to kill someone to make a point, do it sparingly, and with very deliberate purpose.

Whether you’re starting your first villain or hoping to hone your villainous sword, I hope you found this tut helpful! Best of luck, and happy writing!

[lady-divine-writes]

Good Omens one-shot - “Crowley’s Cheeky Christmas Holiday” (Rated NC17)

Summary: Aziraphale is not too thrilled with the plans Crowley has made for their first real holiday. But after a little interactive explanation, Aziraphale is more than onboard. (1346 words)

Warning for fluffy, naked canoodling and then wam! Sexual content xD

Read on AO3.

"Ho-ho-ho!" Crowley chuckles, practically skipping his way through the master bedroom.

"Hmm. Someone seems awfully proud of themselves," Aziraphale notes dryly.

“I am, angel. I am."

"Please. Elaborate. Don't keep me in suspense."

"All right. I just confirmed our flight for tomorrow,” Crowley announces, slipping off his robe to join his husband reading in bed. “Flight 344, leaving promptly at noon.” He claps his hands, beyond thrilled that they’re finally going on their first official holiday as husbands (aside from their honeymoon, which, to Crowley, belongs in a separate category). “So, tell me, angel - are you excited to see Verwöhnhotel Kristall?”

“I suppose,” Aziraphale says, followed by a long, drawn-out sigh as he turns to the next page, less than enthused.

“You suppose?” Crowley cocks a thin brow at him. “Oh, don’t tell me you’ve changed your mind? You just want to stay at home with your books and read? We decided that we would travel now that we’re both gainfully unemployed! We made that decision together!” 

“It’s not that, my dear,” Aziraphale assures him with eyes still firmly planted on his book. “It’s just that I’ve been to Austria.”

“We’ve been to everywhere, angel. There’s no avoiding going somewhere again.”

“Austria is a hop, skip, and a jump from here. Spending our Christmas holiday there …" Another sigh "... we might as well find a hotel down the road and book a room.”

Crowley stares at Aziraphale, lost for a response. But then he snickers madly. Aziraphale finally lifts his eyes from his page.

“What? What did I say that’s so funny?”

“Nothing.” Crowley waves his laughter away. “You're being such a snob about this. I adore it.”

Aziraphale gasps. “I am not! I simply thought that if we are going on a holiday over Christmas, a traditionally cold and bleary time, that we could perhaps visit somewhere warm and sunny.”

“I’m sure the sun is going to make an appearance while we’re in Austria. The damned thing isn’t going anywhere ... yet.”

Aziraphale rolls his eyes at how thoroughly his husband missed the point. “It’s still going to be cold. Tremendously cold.”

“You have a coat and scarf. It’s going to be brilliant, Aziraphale!" Crowley declares in response to his husband's huff. "I have it all planned out. Could you please trust me?”

"Trust you? Since you haven’t divulged any of your plans, I maintain my right to judge.”

“I wanted it to be a surprise, but alrighty then. Have it your way.” Instead of sliding under the comforter with Aziraphale, Crowley pulls it off Aziraphale’s legs with a dramatic flourish. 

Aziraphale gapes at him. “What on Earth are you doing!?” 

“Since you’re so eager to judge, I’m going to go over our travel plans with you.”

“And you took off the covers why? To simulate the frigid temperatures?”

“Haha, no. I need you to lay flat on your stomach.”

The incredulity on Aziraphale's face grows to epic proportions. “Whatever for?”

“It’s sort of a presentation. You’ll understand once we get started.”

Aziraphale sets his book aside with a third, heavier sigh and complies. “Will you be requiring a wahoo afterward?”

“I might,” Crowley snaps, impatiently returning his husband’s snark with more snark. Because of that, Aziraphale takes his sweet time settling onto his stomach on the bed, dragging a pillow with him to rest his crossed arms upon, and then his chin.

“All right. I am in the proper position, I trust.”

“Yes, but you’re a wee bit overdressed.” Crowley raises a hand to Aziraphale’s view. “Do you mind?”

“Do you mean to undress me?”

“Yes.”

“Is this absolutely necessary?”

“Yes.”

“Fine. Go ahead.”

“Wonderful.” Crowley snaps his fingers, and immediately Aziraphale is naked. He shudders self-consciously at the removal of his clothes but focuses on his husband instead, admittedly curious. “Okay.” Crowley rubs his hands together, warming them up before he begins. “First, I am taking you ice skating …”

“What a visionary,” Aziraphale teases. “We live in London. There are skating rinks a mere bus ride away. Why do we have to travel to Austria to go ice skating when we---?” Aziraphale’s voice cuts out when he feels his husband’s fingertips play over his shoulders, sliding in unison, mimicking the movements of two people skating. “O-oh ...” Aziraphale shivers beneath Crowley’s gentle touch. “This is an interactive presentation.”

“A-ha.”

“I see. What else is on your itinerary?”

“Skiing.”

Aziraphale wiggles as Crowley’s fingers slide down the slope of his spine, slaloming from flank to flank before launching off the end of his tailbone.

“Mmm, yes, yes,” Aziraphale says. “I can see the appeal. Anything else?”

“Snowboarding.”

Aziraphale snorts. “Right---eee!” He squeals when one of Crowley’s phalange snowboarders glides over a particularly ticklish spot on his back. “Since when have you wanted to go snowboarding?”

“Not until recently. I figure, after everything we’ve been through over the past few centuries, now is the perfect time to try something new. What d'you think?”

“Have you not known me for 6000 years? I am not an angel made for snowboarding.”

“Why not?” Crowley pouts, sending his snowboarders up Aziraphale’s back for the return trip. “Don’t angels Segway around Heaven?”

“Not me. Not once.”

“Aren’t you in the mood for an adventure?”

“If by adventure you mean eat at a new experimental fusion restaurant, then yes. I am definitely in the mood. But trusting life and limb to a thin plank of wood whilst careening down an icy hill at a hundred miles per hour, then no. I am in no mood for adventure.”

“But you’ll go skiing?”

“Yes.”

“How is that different?”

“First off, I have been skiing before. Cross-country mainly.”

“Skis are technically thin planks of wood.”

“Yes, but they give you two - one for each foot. So, it’s much more like skating. Even more like walking if you’re traveling straight along.”

“I see your point.” Crowley stops one snowboarder on Aziraphale’s right shoulder while the other tumbles to the mattress like he’s falling from a cliff.

“Crowley! How could you?” Aziraphale cries in mock horror, staring at the pair of fingers he assumes represent him lying unconscious in the snow. “You didn’t even try to stop me!”

“I did, angel. I could only save one of us, so I made the ultimate sacrifice.”

“That’s very noble of you,” Aziraphale says with a solemn sniff. “What's next? I mean, after I fetch a strapping young gentleman to fish you out of the snow and I miracle your broken legs back together.”

“Funny. You’re very funny.” Crowley crawls down the bed, straddles Aziraphale’s legs. “After all that physical exertion, we’ll want to get some lunch.”

“Sounds logical.” Aziraphale closes his eyes when Crowley’s lips brush the knobs of his spine, laying a trail of kisses along the curve of his back. “Mmm … my vote is for crepes smothered in loganberries and fresh cream.”

“I thought you might,” Crowley murmurs.

“Did you have something specific in mind?”

“Dunno. Thought maybe we could grab some ice cream,” Crowley mumbles, massaging Aziraphale’s arse, kneading with firm hands, and admiring the view.

“Ice cream?” Aziraphale scoffs. “In winter? Why would you want to eat freezing cold ice cream surrounded by all that snow---oh! My … goodness!” He yelps when Crowley’s hands part his cheeks, and a silky hot tongue begins lapping at his hole. “Yes! Yes, I see! Ice cream! Ice cream does sound fabulous, come to think of it! We can eat as much ice cream as you want!”

“So …” Crowley pauses to talk, toying with Aziraphale’s entrance with swipes of his tongue and barely-there kisses between words “… how are you … feeling about … Austria now?”

“I …” Aziraphale’s breath catches when Crowley’s tongue interrupts him, slowly circling, weeding its way inside. “I think … this may turn out to be … the best holiday … ever!”

“Can I get a wahoo?” Crowley says, then nothing else as he fucks his husband with his tongue.

“Uh … uh …” Aziraphale swallows hard, melting into the chilly sheets beneath him. “Wahoo …”

[nothingeverlost]

The Most Brilliant Idea, or how Sirius Black Accidentally became a Romance Novelist (HP, Wolfstar)

In which Sirius has a Brilliant Idea, Remus is gainfully employed, James is clueless and Lily is always right.

Unmitigated fluff with minor references to the first war, AU because James and Lily didn’t die.

II

It started with the classified, the first bit of proof that everything that happened was really Moony’s fault.  There was always a classified ad in the kitchen, even when Moony was working, part of his optimistic opinion that any job could and would end.  The classified ads were always marked in pen, and one could tell just how Remus thought his prospects fared based on how he’d marked a job.  Some were viciously scratched out (potions expert and anything with ‘night shift’ in the description) some were circled multiple times (he usually came away dejected from those interviews, things he actually wanted but rarely got) some had question marks and some had a single bold circle.  It was the single circle ones that were the best prospects.

On this particular Tuesday morning while Sirius drank his tea and dripped jelly on a story about Minister Fudge’s election, the only ad that was circled was one looking for a book editor.  It was commission work, the sort of things Moony did from home sometimes.  It suited him, both because he was such a stickler for commas and spelling and because the flexibility meant that moons didn’t present a problem. The only downside was that it was sporadic work, a book at a time, and didn’t bring in enough income to make Moony feel like he was Contributing to Household Things.  Sirius always rolled his eyes.  Moony was the most stubborn person he knew.

It was then that he had his Most Brilliant Idea.  What Remus needed was a constant stream of editing.  Someone who would keep him employed on a regular basis with things a lot more interesting than editing a technical manual on the care and keeping of flobberworms.

“Lily I need to borrow some books.”  When someone had a Brilliant Idea they had to start right away, so his first action was to floo to the Potter home.  He was distracted for half an hour by Harry who insisted on a hippogriff ride and a sword fight, and he wouldn’t be a proper godfather if he said no to either, but after that it was strictly business.

“The only books we have here that you don’t have are meant for a three year old.  You and Remus had quite the library between you,” Lily replied after telling both him and Harry they could only have two biscuits.  Sirius took a third, but split it in half so it didn’t count.  After all, two and a half was practically the same as two.

“Not true.  Moony and I don’t have any of those girly books,” he said with his half a biscuit in his mouth.

“You want to borrow my romance novels?” Lily asked, puzzled.  “I don’t know who you’re trying to date, Sirius Black, but romance novels aren’t actually meant to be used that way.”

“Like I need help,” Sirius said with an eye roll.  Sure, it had been a while since he dated but that was totally his choice.  He had a lot on his plate right now with a godson that needed his attention and Moony needing looking after and his three days a week working for Quality Quidditch Supplies.  “They’re for Moony.”

“Somehow I doubt he knows that.”  Lily rolled her eyes right back at him.  “Take as many as you like, and don’t worry about when you get them back.  It’s not like I have much time for reading when I have three boys to look after.”

“Something you want to tell me, Lils?”  He looked at her stomach pointedly and wondered if they were really ready for another Prongslet.

“Yeah.  You and James are more work than Harry and he has the excuse of being three.”  But she gave him a bag for the books and sent him home with a plate of biscuits, warning him that she would tell Remus that she’d sent them so not to eat them all in one go.  It was like she didn’t trust him or something.

Once he had the books stage one of The Plan could begin.  He’d read a few of the romance novels when he was bored and they seemed like the easiest book to write.  Certainly they weren’t anything Moony read so he could borrow a bit from others and no one important would be any the wiser.  Over the next few days he spent most of the time Moony wasn’t around reading, stashing the books in the closet so they wouldn’t be seen in case Remus came in his room for late night chats or early morning bed sharing.  It was a habit that they’d never quite left behind in school, especially when either of them had a nightmare.  With the war almost two years gone the nightmares weren’t as frequent but they were always a good excuse if he needed company.

Stage Two of The Plan had a few false starts, as writing a book proved to be a little trickier than he figured, considering how many books he’d read.  Finally though after twenty-six days he had a story written.  The pining of Sigmund G Toadsnatch for Anastasia Flower ended in a passionate snog and a happily ever after.  It was time for Stage Three.

“I need your help.”  The moment Moony was gone for the day he popped around to the Potter home again, this time with manuscript in hand.

“Harry managed to get jam in his hair at breakfast and I have to give him a bath.  Can it wait?”  Her arms were full of a squirming toddler, anxious to greet his ‘Padfoo.’

“I’ll give him a bath,” he offered.

“The last time that happened you flooded the bathroom and transfigured the soap into a boat.”  She carried Harry up the stairs.  Sirius followed.

“He came out clean, though.  Mostly.”  He might have missed a few spots, but no one was perfect and there had been an important battle with a giant squid that looked a lot like Harry’s toes to wage.  “I need to know if you have any friends that have girly writing and want to earn a few quid.”  He plopped himself on the edge of the tub after stowing his manuscript on higher ground.  

“You need what?”  it was really quite impressive how she managed to run the bath, undress Harry, and listen to him.

“Alright, so this is the part where I have to swear you to absolute secrecy.  Unbreakable vow kind of stuff.  You can’t tell anyone what I am about to tell you, not even James.”

“You know James and I don’t keep secrets.”

“It’s not a big secret, just a little baby one.  The more people who know the more likely it is that Remus will know that people are keeping something from him and then the whole thing will be ruined.”  Besides Prongs would never let him hear the end of it if he knew what Sirius was doing.

“I will consider not telling him, once I know.  That’s the best I can promise.”

“I guess that will have to do.”  He was certain she’d see reason, or more importantly his side of things.  “Now about your friends.”

“Do I even want to know what girly writing means?”

“You know what I mean.  When you pick up something and you know a girl wrote it because there’s little hearts above the I’s and the ink changes color.”  Not that Lily had ever done things like that.  Her writing was perfectly sensible, not that it mattered.  Moony would recognize her handwriting.

“Your handwriting is pretty fancy, with all those loops and the illustrations in the margins.”  Lily made a few loops of her own, sending bubbled cascading into the tub to entertain Harry.

“One of the many skills a pureblood snob is required to learn, according to my dear old mum.  Trust me I’ve tried mimicking James but it’s useless.”  James wrote in a barely legible scrawl that only those with practice could read.  Sirius envied him, though it had led to an accident or two over the years especially in potions and what time they were supposed to meet.  “But it doesn’t matter, Moony knows my handwriting and that’s the whole point.  I need someone to copy over my writing so he doesn’t know it’s me.”

“I think I need more focus and perhaps something to drink.  Hold on a minute, will you?”  Lily finished up Harry’s bath, keeping him long enough to dry his hair but giving up when he decided to squirm out of her hold and run away without his togs on.  She shrugged.  “Won’t hurt him to air dry.”

“James said the same thing once.  It works better in a warm house and when you’re three, rather than when you’re thirteen and it’s snowing out.”  He’d won the dare, though, and claimed it was worth it.

“Yeah, I remember that.  Thought he was mental then.  Now I know he is.”  Lily headed for the kitchen and started a pot of tea brewing.  “Now please tell me you’re not trying to get me to help you prank Remus.  You know my rules.”

“It’s not a prank.  It’s a Brilliant Idea to help Moony.  You’re going to love it.”  He couldn't hold it in anymore.  “I’vewrittenabook.”

“Excuse me?”

“A book.  I’ve written one and I’m going to send it to Moony to edit it, and then I’m going to pay him.  But he’s not going to know it’s me so he’s going to accept the money without being his stubborn prideful self.  When he’s done I’ll have another story ready and then he’ll be gainfully employed and happy and he won’t have to worry about what happens to his job when there’s a moon.  Brilliant, right?”

“I’m still on the bit where you wrote a book.”  Lily poured the tea and set a slice of quiche on a plate for Sirius.  The spinach was in small enough bits that it didn’t actually look like a vegetable and he might not notice that under all the cheese he’d actually eaten something green.

“It’s not hard.  I read the books you had and I wrote something like it.  Boy meets girl.  One of them annoys the other.  There’s secret longing and someone trying to keep them apart and then they snog and everyone’s happy except the evil bloke who ends up in a cellar or something.”  He shrugged and ate the food Lily had given him without much thought.  He’d been so excited about the next stage that he hadn’t bothered with breakfast.  “The book’s not really the important part, though, and there have to be bits to fix or else Moony won’t have anything to do.  What’s important is that Moony doesn’t know it’s me.  I have to rent an owl once it’s ready and send him a letter about a job.  I have a name picked out already.  Marmaduke Gaylord from Gaylord’s Romantic Press.”

“I don’t know why anything you come up with should surprise me anymore, Sirius Black.  It’s completely bonkers and there’s probably fifteen different ways it could go wrong.”  Lily reached across the table and covered one of his hands with her own.  “It’s also unfailingly kind and possibly crazy enough to work.”

“Of course it will work.”  Any doubts he’d had he’d buried down deep enough that he wouldn’t have to worry about them for a while at least.  Probably not until the whole thing exploded in a very Sirius-like fashion.  

As it turned out Lily did have a friend that could use a little spending money and had hand writing that, while not containing any hearts, was feminine enough to satisfy Sirius and more importantly wouldn’t be recognized by Remus.  She rewrote the manuscript in her own handwriting.  Sirius borrowed a typewriter from Arthur Weasley to make an official looking offer from the Gaylord Romance Publishers.

Stage Four was well timed, as Moony’s job in a muggle bookstore ended that week after the third time he’d had to miss work the morning after a full moon with no explanation.  Sirius had made sure he was tucked into bed with a water bottle and a cup of tea with a warming charm that would last at least an hour, then nipped over to Diagon Alley to rent an owl for a single trip.  The offer letter and manuscript were bound together. For an added bit of cleverness he’d asked the clerk to delay the delivery until afternoon so that Sirius could be home when the owl arrived.

“What could be so important about a romance novel that they’d be willing to pay this much?”  By afternoon Moony was feeling well enough to be on the sofa instead of in bed.  Sirius glanced at the letter Remus handed him and shrugged. 

“Dunno, mate.  Guess there’s enough people reading them to make it worth their while.  The girls at school all read them.  Tripped over them all the time in the common room.”

“They’d be better off reading Austen,” Remus groused but he was also quick enough to send off an acceptance letter with the owl.  Sirius had a plan for that as well, and a newly rented owl post box.

“I’ll give you some quiet to work.”  Sirius locked himself in his room, using the time to start his second novel, the story of five sisters all sorted into the same house  and the rich pureblood transfer student who seemed rude but was secretly shy.  The prat’s best friend was cheerful and had a crush on the main character’s sister.

“Comma,” was the comment he heard the most from the other room.  ‘Why’ and ‘bloody hell’ and ‘you can’t do that to the English language’ were also common exclamations.

“Sounds like it’s going well,” Sirius said when his stomach was too loud to ignore.  

“It’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read and the romance is dreadful but there are some bits that are hilarious, actually.  Don’t know their goal but as a satire it’s not bad.”  The stack of papers in front of him was all marked up in red ink worse than the first essay he’d ever written for McGonagall.

“I thought romances were supposed to be all sappy.”  His main character had declared his love seventeen times.  That was what girls wanted, wasn’t it?

“Fortunately I’m only supposed to edit the grammar and not the sap.  I’m over my head on that sort of thing.  Imelda Carson seventh year said I was the most unromantic boy she’d even snogged.”

“Imelda Carson is an idiot who is now breeding pink pygmy puffs and is completely single because no bloke was romantic enough for her.  Besides you don’t like girls, remember?”

“I like girls just fine.  I just don’t want to snog any of them or…”

“Smash your bits together?”  Sirius offered.

“Yeah, exactly what I was going to say,” Remus said dryly.  “I’m starved and close to going cross eyed from this editing.  Whose turn for dinner?”

“I’ll start some steaks.”  Sirius danced towards the kitchen.  The Plan was going perfectly.

II

It seemed silly, really, to have a wonderfully written and perfectly edited novel and not do anything with it.  The original plan didn’t take into account anything outside of making sure that Remus was employed, but when Sirius collected the edited manuscript from the owl post it seemed a waste to just throw it away or lock it up somewhere.

“I need a name.”  It was just before lunch when he flooed to Godric Hollow, finding Harry just up from his nap and more than excited to use uncle Padfoot as a climbing toy.  

“You know some people do give a little notice instead of barging in all the time.  There’s a lovely front door on this house I don’t think you’ve seen in two years.”  Lily winced when Harry’s foot found a foothold on Sirius’s crotch, but really the man deserved it.

“Other people aren’t nearly as entertaining as me.”  Sirius winced as well and moved Harry’s foot a little higher, regretting it when the lad’s next handhold was his ear.  “Now about that nom de plume.”

“I thought you were only writing so Remus could have an editing job?”

“Yes, but that’s no reason not to share my genius with the world.”  He waved his manuscript over his head.  

“How many times did Remus threaten to throw up while reading this drivel?”

“Only once but he edited that bit out.  Not even I can be perfect my first time out.”  Lily, of course, rolled her eyes for approximately the 42,596th time since she’d first met Sirius.

“If you’re serious about this we should do it properly.  No more ridiculous names.”

“I’m always Sirius.”  He couldn’t resist.  After all the joke never got old, no matter how many times Lily groaned.  “Too bad I can’t use my name.  Imagine how dear old mum would roll over in her grave if she knew the sacred Black name was attached to a romance novel.”

“Sirius.”

“You’re right, Lils.  If she got too excited she might reanimate and the world is not ready for zombie Walburga.”  He shuddered dramatically at the thought, making Harry, now perched on his shoulders, laugh and say ‘again.’  Of course he obliged.

“Leave it with me and I’ll sort it out.  I’ll have Molly redo a clean copy and send it off to Mary who’s a junior editor and a publisher.  We’ll see what happens, alright?”

“This is why I love you, Red.”  Sirius gave her a kiss on the cheek and handed her the manuscript so he could get down to what was really important; teaching his godson how to make bubbles in his milk.

II

Three months later Phaedra White was a published author.  Sure, there wasn’t an enormous amount of money in a single book, but it was more than what he’d spent to pay Molly and Remus so it seemed profitable enough, and he was more excited than he’d expected to see it on the shelves of the bookstore..

In the next year ‘Phaedra’ wrote nine more books.  More importantly with actual connections in the publishing world he was able to recommend Moony’s services to other authors, to the point that he began to worry that if Remus had too much work he might turn down the requests from Marmaduke Gaylord to edit Phaedra’s books.

“Get the bucket, Pads, I’m going to be ill.  This is the worst thing I've ever read.  Not only do I want to vomit but I think my eyes are bleeding.”

“It can’t be that bad.”  His own book had arrived that morning but Sirius hadn’t known that Remus had started on it already.

“I don’t know how Gilderoy Lockheart got my name but I’m never editing a book for him again.  Not only is it nonsense that clearly didn’t actually happen, but it’s badly written as well.”  It was hard to tell from Moony’s tone what offended him more, but it was probably the bad writing.

“Wasn’t there a Lockheart a few years behind us in school?  A gormless little thing that spent more time on his hair than anything else?”  They didn’t usually pay much attention to Ravenclaws, but if he remembered correctly the boy had annoyed them enough that they’d pranked his hair blue once.

“That’s the one.  What he knows about defense against the Dark Arts would fit in my little finger.”  Remus pushed the manuscript away.  “I can’t even look at this again until I have some chocolate.”

“I picked up a new stock from Honeydukes when I was at Diagon.”  Rule number one for the care and keeping of your Moony was to always have a supply of chocolate on hand.  “Why don’t you grab a bar and we’ll go out for a walk.  It’s beautiful outside.”

“What would I do without you, Pads?  Why don’t we pick up some curry while we’re out, my treat?”  It was a plan, and they left the house shoulder to shoulder.  Later that evening after he’d eaten Remus returned to his work.  Sirius found him laughing, his shoulders relaxed, and not a single bucket around.

“Back at the Lockheart?”  he asked.

“No, I’ve given myself a respite and picked up the latest White novel.  You know this bloke is improving.  It’s really kind of nice to see the balance of romance and friendship in here.  Less sap and more affectionate teasing.”

“I thought that romance writer you edit for was a woman?”  Sirius held his breath for a moment.  Did Moony Know?  He couldn’t possibly.  

“I’m sure that’s what they want people to think, probably because most romance novels are written by women and I’d imagine they sell better.  But I’m practically certain this is a bloke writing this.  If the book centered around a flying motorcycle didn’t tip me off, the fact that the details about female anatomy are more vague than the male anatomy seems quite a clue.”  Remus shrugged.  “I don’t suppose it really matters, though.”

“No, I don’t suppose it does,” Sirius agreed.

II

“I need help.”  The next morning Sirius showed up at the Potter house in the middle of breakfast, not knowing what time it was.  James was still home, which was not the most favorable thing that could have happened.

“Help with what?” Prongs asked as he broke a banana into pieces for Harry.

“Nothing at all,” Sirius lied.  “Just a question for Lils about a girl thing.”

“Dating someone you haven’t mentioned to us yet?”  James cocked his head to the side.  “It’s been a while since you’ve mentioned anyone.”

“Yeah, well it gets to be all the same after a while, doesn’t it?”  Truth was he hadn’t had a date in ages.  His free time was taken up with writing, and the rest of the time he was with Remus, or Prongs and his family or both.  Lily had them over to dinner once a week at least, somehow thinking they couldn't take care of themselves properly.  His social life worked out pretty well, except for the lack of shagging.  He did miss that sometimes, but not enough to bother with finding a date.

“Not when you marry the love of your life and the most perfect person in the world.”  James, of course, couldn’t help looking at his wife.  Sirius was torn between wanting to gag and feeling a tight ball in the pit of his stomach that he’d never felt before.

“It’s been six years since you married her, Prongs.  You are going to be a little less sappy at some point, aren’t you?”  Of course considering how close they’d come to losing each other it was understandable.  And Sirius was happy for them, but as a sibling it was his job to raz James as much as possible.

“If you don’t like it you do know where the fireplace is, Sirius.”  Lily was careful when she stood up, her belly now heavily swollen.  Potter number four was due in less than a month.  “Come on, you can wash up dishes for me while you tell me what you need.”

Dutifully he followed her, ignoring Prongs’ questioning look.  When the water was running he looked around to make sure they weren’t followed.  “I need to know more about girls.”

“Excuse me?”

“Moony’s figured out that Phaedra White is a bloke.  Says there’s not much detail about women’s bits and things in there and that it sounds more like a bloke or something.  I don’t know.  My first thought was that I could use some polyjuice and spend an hour as a woman but that’s a month of work just to make the potion plus it tastes disgusting.”

“I’m not going to ask why you know what polyjuice tastes like.  I don’t want to know who you were or when or if my husband was involved.”  Lily rubbed her stomach absently.  “Your books are selling surprisingly well, I wouldn’t change things now.  Besides you should know at least the basics about women.”

“I know that their breasts are nice and soft, most of them like to snog, and redheads have very good aim.”  Or maybe it was just one specific redhead, who proved his point by throwing a spoon at the back of his head.

“Obviously rumors at school had to be taken with quite a few grains of salt and I know some girls exaggerated because it was good for their reputations for it to be known that they snogged the ‘great’ Sirius Black”  Lily’s voice was dripping with sarcasm and she stuck out her tongue for good measure.  “But you did date a fair bit, and I myself witnessed at least some snogging.  Are you saying you never…”

“Did the no pants dance?  Nah, girls are nice for kissing and easier for dating but for the whole naked tango I prefer a blokes ‘bits.’”  

“Huh.  I was dead certain about you and that Hufflepuff in sixth year.”  Lily shook her head, bemused.  It wasn’t like Sirius had ever hidden the fact that he liked boys as well as girls.  “But if you’re here to ask me about my ‘bits’ that’s where I draw the line.  We’re close, Sirius, but not that close.”

“You are the best sister a bloke could ever hope for, Lil my love, and as such that is a completely disgusting idea that I would never suggest.  I was thinking you might have a friend.”

“I am not pimping out my friends to you, brother dear.”

“You try to set up Remus sometimes.”  And somehow each time Remus came down sick and couldn’t come to dinner.  

“I worry about Remus being alone.  Do you know when he last went on a date?”

“Sometimes in the seventies, probably, and he’s not alone, he has me.  What could be less lonely then having me as a roommate?”  Other than a bit of time during the war he and Remus had lived together since leaving Hogwarts.  It worked well for them both, and honestly the idea of Remus dating made his left shoulder blade go all tense.  They took turns making dinner and washing up, cleaned the flat together on Mondays and read out bits of their books to each other as they shared a sofa in the evening.  If Remus was spending his time with someone else there would be less of the enigmatic little half smile that made his day better.  And at some point Moony would have to share his furry little secret and what if they took it badly and hurt him?  Or worse, spread it about?  Sirius would have to kill them and then he’d go to Azkaban and then Remus really would be alone.  It would be a disaster.

“Sirius have you ever considered…”  Lily stopped, wincing a little and struggling to pull herself up.  “This little one has great aim and likes to kick mummy’s bladder.  You’ll have to excuse us, Sirius.  And find your own dates.”

II

He did find his own dates.  Three of them, in the next month, and twice with the girl from the local coffee shop.  And though the snogging was nice he just couldn’t get interested enough in taking it farther, not even in the name of research.  Sighing he decided he was just going to have to keep doing what he was doing.  Besides, having Moony suspect that a romance novelist was a man was a far sight from having him suspect that it was the man he lived with so he was still safe enough.  After all who in their right mind would think that Sirius Black was writing romance novels?

When he got home from his last date he found a note stuck to his door in Moony’s careful hand.  The word ‘St Mungo’s’ might have worried him if not for the ‘Baby Potter on the way’ underneath.  He took a minute to change into something more comfortable, remembering that Harry had taken hours to arrive, and apparated to the maternity ward.

“You brought work with you?”  Remus was already there, sitting in the waiting room with a quill in one hand and a stack of pages on his lap.

“You know how long Harry took to make an appearance.  Might as well pass the time in a useful manner.”  Remus looked up at him, head cocked to the side.  “How was the date?”

“Bit boring, to be honest.  I think I’m out of practice.”  Dating used to be more interesting, but halfway through he’d found himself wishing that he was on the sofa throwing popcorn at Remus and asking about his latest book.  The editing of the Lockhart book and its ridiculous lies was keeping him well entertained.  “Speaking of the sprog, where is my favorite godson?”

“Lily’s friend Molly has him.  The one will all the redhead kids, you remember?”

“Yeah.”  Molly happened to be the friend that rewrote everything he wrote.  No reason for that to make him nervous, though.  “She was Gid and Fab’s big sister.”

“Yeah, she was.”  It was never easy to think of the casualties of the war so Sirius tried not to think of them, not even the ones with hair and hearts like fire who he’d shagged once.  Gideon had been one of his first crushes in school, and a compatriot in war.

“What are we working on tonight?”  Sirius tried to take a look at his papers.  “Anything good?”

“Something very frustrating, at the moment.  The latest Phaedra White.”

“I thought you said her books were getting better.  Seemed to me you quite enjoyed the last one.”  He took great pride in the fact that he’d made Moony laugh more than once, and that it came back with hardly any notes other than the usual missing commas and split infinitives.  The ending, Moony had declared, was only as sappy as was  necessary for that sort of story and not bad at all.

“It’s stupid.  I’m just the editor, there’s no reason for the direction of the plot to bother me so much.”  Sighing, Remus put the quill down.  

“I’m sure the author is grateful for your notes.  You said she’s listened to them before, hasn’t she?”  Of course he knew the answer.   He’d written three thank you notes for changes the Remus had suggested, and every time Remus had been right.  Merlin’s pants, Phaedra White was actually making best seller lists and had been mentioned in Witches Weekly twice, and Sirius wasn’t too full of himself to know how big a part Moony played in that.  His publisher was trying to make him do a book signing at Flourish and Blotts, and didn’t understand why he kept saying no to the publicity.  

“This isn’t the same situation.  It’s not a small change to a scene, it’s the whole romance that feels wrong.”

“You read me a bit the other night, between the bloke and his best mate that made you laugh.”  He’d found the byplay between his main character and his friend to be the most fun part of the book to write.

“That’s the whole problem.  Byron and George have this great relationship.  The scene where George is trying to convince Byron to go on the date feels almost like…”

“Like what?”  There were times that Sirius totally wished he could talk through scenes with Remus while he was writing.  He’d had to bite his tongue more than once when he remembered that he hadn’t sent a story to Moony to edit yet.

“Like he was trying to cover his own feelings for his friend.  The chemistry between the two blokes is more natural and interesting then the bits with Byron and Melody.”  Remus picked up his quill again.  “Now you see why I can’t write that suggestion. I’m not about to tell someone to trash half their story and turn it into a gay romance.”

“Moony, w-”

“She’s here.”  The door to the waiting room crashed open and Prongs came running out, tripping over his feet in his hurry.  “I’m a dad.”

“You’ve been a dad for almost five years, Prongs,” Sirius couldn’t help but tease him.  

“But never to a girl.”  It was funny how big Prongs’ eyes could get.  “Merlin’s elbow, I have a daughter.”

“Most of the bits are the same, mate.  You’ll be alright.”  Remus shoved his papers and quill into a bag and took out a flask.  “I think this calls for a drink.  Not too much, or Lily will kill us all, but just to celebrate.”

“You think of everything, Moons.”  Sirius shouldn’t have been surprised, it was very like Remus, but there was something about drinking out of the flask immediately after Moony’s lips had touched it that felt different.

“You’re brilliant, both of you.  In a minute we can all go in and you can meet my daughter.”

“Poor Lils, she’s got three kids on her hands now.”  Sirius pointed to the dopey looking expression on Prongs’ face.

“I think you mean four kid, Pads.  After all she has to deal with you as well.”

II

“Her name is Olivia Marlene.”  Lily had that exhausted but happy glow of a new mother when they were let in to see her.  The baby she held looked pretty much the same as Harry the first time they’d seen him, the dark hair on the top of her head and the splotchy looking face.  

“It’s a good name.  Strong.”  Moony nodded solemnly.  “Marlene would have been proud.”

“Marlene would have rolled her eyes and called me daff,” Lily said with only a hint of moisture in her own eyes.  “But if my daughter is half as fierce she’ll be able to do anything.”

“Moony, ready to say hello?”  James took his daughter from Lily and held her close to his chest.

“Let Sirius go first, I’ll hold her in a minute.”  Sirius had been the first five years ago, when Harry had been born.

“Sirius will have his turn but it should be her godfather first, Remus.”  When Lily spoke Sirius had the good fortune to be looking at Remus.  The look on his face and the way his knees buckled were priceless.

“Alright there mate?”  Sirius caught him around the waist and helped him to stand up again.  “Welcome to the club, by the way.”

“So will you, Moony?” James looked at him expectantly.

“I think you’re mental to ask me.”  But Remus carefully took the baby and held her, touching her cheek with a single finger.  Sirius felt for a moment like he’s turned into liquid marshmallow, watching the two of them.

“Welcome to the world, Olivia Potter,” Remus said softly.

It was in that moment that Sirius Black, author of almost seventeen romance novels, realized that he was in love with his best friend.

II

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to leave the country.”  Somehow Sirius made it through the next week.  He wasn’t sure how but it seemed only fair to give Lily a bit of recovery time before bothering her.  A week was as long as he could wait, though, and on the eighth day he flooed over.  

“That’s a bit of a dramatic reaction to not being chosen as godfather for our Olivia.”  

“What?  No, of course you should have gone with Moony.  Brilliant choice.  Probably should have picked him for Harry, bit of an unfair advantage Olivia has.”  Sirius flopped down on the armchair across from Lily.  “Where are the sprogs, by the way?”

“Baby’s sleeping.  Harry and James are at the park so Harry can run off some energy.”

“Prongs is probably the one that needs to run off the energy.  He’s walking on clouds, that one.  Reminds me of the week after you finally said yes to a date.”  Sirius was pretty sure James hadn’t slept for two days straight.  For a week he also hadn’t shut up, even when he did finally sleep.  He’d been well stuck on Lily long before they’d dated.  Sirius finally had an idea of what that was like.

“Probably.  Now tell me what you’re running from.”  Lily put on her best getting-ready-to-mock-you expression.

“Nothing really, only the most stupid thing I’ve probably ever done.”

“I’ve seen some of the stupidest things you’ve done, Sirius.  Many of them.  Unless you’re going to tell me you have to flee the country because aurors are after you I very much doubt it’s as bad as you think.”

“I’vefalleninlovewithMoony.”

“I’m going to need you to actually take a breath at some point, sweetie.  You’re going to turn purple if you don’t and then I’m going to have to explain to James and Harry why you’ve passed out on the floor.”  Lily patted the empty seat on the sofa next to her.  “Now come over here, take a breath, and tell me again what you said.”

Sirius, erring on the side of caution, took three breaths, decided that wasn’t enough, and took three more.  “I’ve fallen in love with Moony.”

“Now there, wasn’t that easier to say the second time?”

“You knew perfectly well what I said.”  Sirius narrowed his eyes.  “You tricked me.”

“Only for your own good.”  She leaned in and wrapped her arms around him.  “I know this bit is scary but you’re going to get through it and you’re going to do it without fleeing the country.”

“Didn’t you hear what I said?”  Maybe having a baby did something odd to your ears.  

“You’ve finally figured out that you’re in love with Remus.”

“Finally?”  Sirius stared at her.  

“Finally,” she confirmed.  “Other than this month because of your crazy idea about your books, when was the last time you dated?”

“Dunno.  That carpenter maybe?”  Sirius had wanted to find out just what else he could do with his hands.  The answer was quite a bit.  Unfortunately not so much in the brain department and even less in the sense of humor department.

“That was three years ago.  What is Remus’s favorite dinner?”

“Steak with mashed potatoes and lots of gravy, popovers, peas.”  It was a meal he liked to make a day or two before a full moon when Moony was feeling a bit low.

“And for dessert?”

“Chocolate, of course.  I found a chocolate fondant recipe the other day I thought I might try.”  Moony was happy to have a chocolate bar but Sirius liked to find new desserts to try.  Moony was always pleased when there was a new dessert.

“Who is the first person you see on Christmas morning and whose present do you spend the most time picking out?”

“Moony, of course.  We live together.”  Last year Moony had put a ridiculous ten galleon restriction on gifts, insisting he didn’t need anything extravagant.  His silly Moony hadn’t thought to specify that it was only a single gift, though.  Sirius had brought thirteen, but they were all under ten galleons each.

“And when you’ve had a really shitty day who is the first person you seek out?”

“Moony.”

“And when something wonderful happens who is the first person you want to tell?”

“Moony.”

“Are we seeing a pattern yet?  And before you tell me it’s just being friends let me remind you that you have created a whole career for yourself solely because you wanted to make sure that Remus had work that he could take pride in.  The entire existence of Phaedra White is basically one really long love letter, which is a bit over the top even for you.”

“I’ve been in love with Moony this whole time?”  It didn’t feel wrong when he said it.  Maybe later he’d be able to look back and figure out when exactly it all started, but for now it seemed to be enough that it was true.  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were always going to figure it out in your own time.  I couldn’t make you go any faster and risk it not happening at all.”  Lily kissed his cheek.  “If I’d said yes to James in third or fourth year maybe we would still be where we are.  Or maybe I would have written him off as a ponce and I wouldn’t have him or my babies.  Things happen when they’re right, and you can’t rush them.  Or run away from them.”

“What if he doesn’t feel the same?”  Remus rarely dated and never said anything about marriage.  “What if I ruin everything?”

“What if he does?  I don’t have the answer.  I think you have to trust Remus and yourself enough to give him a chance to hear how you feel.”

“And if I fuck it all up?”

“Your friendship has survived war and betrayals and pranks gone horribly wrong, as well as seven years of sharing a dorm and about as long sharing a flat.  I don’t think it’s going to fall under the weight of loving him.”

“You better be right, Lily Potter.  If you’re not I’m going to be crashing on this sofa after I flee the flat in embarrassment, and I shed.”

II

Talking to Moony, of course, was a far too direct and logical choice.  It took an hour for Sirius to decide that no, that just wouldn’t do.

“You alright, Pads?” Remus asked when he spent the second hour after he returned home pacing.

“Just thinking about Christmas,” he answered distractedly.

“It’s May, I think you have some time before you need to worry.”  Remus caught his hand as he walked past.  “You look like you have one of your headaches.  Why don’t you sit down and I’ll give you a massage?  Or I could read something to you?”

“No books.”  Books are what had gotten him into the whole mess in the first part.  How could he tell Moony how he felt without also confessing the whole story of Phaedra White?  Why had he never considered that at some point Moony would have to know about The Brilliant Idea?  “I think I might just go to bed.”

“I’ll bring you some tea, it will help you sleep better.”  True to his word Remus showed up ten minutes later with a cup of tea, cream in first and half a spoon of sugar, just the way he liked.  He’d valiantly tried to fall asleep in those ten minutes, but had failed completely and sat up to accept the tea.  

“Thank you.”

“You know you can tell me if something is bothering you, right?”

“There’s no one in the world I trust more than you,” Sirius said honestly.  The tea was too hot still but he sipped it anyway, knowing he’d either burn the tip of his tongue or the roof of his mouth but not caring.  

“It’s a bit odd, isn’t it, Prongs and Lily having two kids now?  They’re well and truly settled, like proper adults.  Might make someone think about it a bit, wonder if they’re wanting something different.”  Remus settled on the edge of the bed, looking up at the ceiling as if he could see the stars overhead.

“Do you think about something different?  Finding your someone and settling down with a couple of sprogs?”  

“Merlin no.  That sort of life’s never been for me, even if I could find someone who wasn’t put off by my special little problem.  Besides I like things the way they are.  You know how much I loved marking up papers with red ink in school and I get to add commas and edit dangling participles to my heart’s content now, with the added bonus of actually making a proper amount of money.  And I couldn’t possibly ever be lonely or bored with you around.  If I want to play with a kid I just have to pop over to see Prongs and Lily.  Seems to me being a godfather is like the best bits of being a parent without all the rest.”  Remus shrugged and looked sideways at Sirius.  “I always figured you’d follow James’ example at some point.”

“I would have had to start developing a crush more than a decade ago, wouldn’t I, to really emulate Prongs?”  It made him stop and wonder for a moment, tea slopping over his chin as he stopped halfway to his mouth.  Just when had he started falling in love with Moony?  Maybe he was more like Prongs then he thought, with less of the whinging.  He couldn’t remember a time when making Moony smile hadn't been a priority, or when Moony touching him hadn’t been a comfort.

“Not like that, of course.  I mean the whole home hearth and family sort of thing, and making me a godfather.”

“I like my family just the way it is.”  It was a little too close to the truth, and Sirius faked a yawn.  “Night Moony.”

“Night Padfoot.  Sleep well.”  Despite being the first to say goodnight, Sirius was a little dismayed that Moony actually left his room.

II

The next day Sirius stopped by to pick up his post, finding a rather sizable cheque, yet another request for a book signing, and the edited return of his most recent book.  Remus must have mailed it when he’d been with Lily.  Flipping through the pages he found the usual red marks adding commas and rearranging the occasional unclear sentence structure, but nothing about the plot of the novel.  He hadn’t made any of the suggestions that he’d mentioned at the hospital.

Sirius took the book home and read through the story again.  Remus was right.  The supposed romance of the story felt flat and predictable when compared to the banter between the best friends, and George was clearly nurturing a crush on his friend.  He only wanted Byron to be with Melody because he thought it was what his friend wanted.  It was a mess.  Sirius was a mess too, but at the moment it was a lot easier to fix things for Byron and George.  All he had to do was cut half the book and rework the rest to make sure two best friends realized that they were actually in love.

When he was done he sent it off to Molly with a bonus payment and a warning that he might not be needing her help anymore.  She sent it back three days later with a cheerful little note letting him know that her twins kept her quite busy and while it had been fun to read his stories first she was fine with the change in things.  Also it was her favorite story yet.

“I need to borrow my godson.”  The day after he sent the manuscript back to Remus for editing he left the house early in the morning.  He couldn’t bear to be around when Moony saw it for the first time.  Better to let him read it and get it all over and done with at once, no matter what way it came out.

“You’re not back on the fleeing the country plan, are you?  Because you can’t take Harry to Spain.”  Lily raised one eyebrow.

“Why would Sirius flee the country?”  James held his daughter but stared at Sirius in confusion.  “You didn’t actually break into your cousin’s vault at Gringotts, did you?”

“I decided anything Narcissa owned would probably have cooties.  Not worth the risk.”  Sirius shrugged.  “I won’t even take him out of the county, Lils.  I promise.”

“Pads?  Lily?” James pushed, not having a clue what was happening but suspecting that his wife knew a fair bit more.

“Not now, Prongs.  I’ll tell you tomorrow if the world doesn’t crash around my ears today.”  

Lily, fortunately, said yes and Sirius was able to mostly distract himself with a trip to the zoo and far more ice cream than an almost five year old and a twenty-five year old should eat.  He returned Harry in time for tea but warned Lily that he probably wasn’t very hungry.

“I’m proud of you,” Lily said before he left, kissing his cheek.

“I’d probably be proud of you too if I knew what the bloody hell was going on,” Prongs added, kissing his other cheek.  Sirius said thank you to them both, decided against the floo, and apparated home.  He sat on the front stoop for half an hour before daring to open the door.  The flat was completely silent.  

“Moony?”  Maybe he wasn’t at home.  Maybe he hadn’t gotten the package or had been too busy to read it today.  Maybe he had read it and had run for the hills.  Maybe he hated it and hated Sirius and was in his room packing for a trip to Zanzibar.  For a minute he worried that Moony really was gone because the flat, even Moony’s room, were empty.  The last place to check was what they grandly called the balcony, which was really just a fire escape with a upside down rusty cauldron as a seat and a single pot with a dittany plant they barely kept alive.  Moony sat with his back to the wall, looking out at the view.  They were lucky enough to be on the side of the building that looked out over a park rather than another building.

“Hey.”  He settled on the sill of the open window, which was the only other place to sit but also meant that Remus couldn’t go anywhere without stepping over him, which could come in handy.  “How was your day?”

“I read a book.”  Moony didn’t look at him.  Sirius couldn’t tell what he was thinking at all, other than that he looked like he should be smoking.  They’d both given it up when Harry was born, though, and that went double now that Oliva had come along.

“Yeah?”  He took a deep breath and waited.

“Yeah.  I thought it was weird, at first.  It’s the same Phaedra White book I just edited, and I thought it was a mistake until I got through the first couple of chapters and it’s been completely rewritten.  I didn’t say anything about the story to anyone, other than you, but it was like they looked inside my head and saw how I wished the story had been written.  George was so certain that Byron was going to propose to his girl but instead there’s this scene, this magical scene where Byron says that he couldn’t fall for Melody because he was already in love.  That it had been George all along.  Sometimes your best mate is also the love of your life.”  Remus was still staring down at the park and Sirius wanted to shake him, or beg him to turn his head, or just kiss him and take his chances that Moony wouldn’t throw him over the side of the balcony.  

“Do you think that’s true?” he asked.  “Even when the best mate is a complete disaster who might be keeping a secret or two, but only because they want their best friend to be happy and not have to worry about anything?”

“Do I think that Byron and George are in love?”  When he finally turned, Moony had a perfectly inscrutable expression on his face, the one he used in school that let him tell McGonagall that he didn’t know anything about a prank that had in fact been his brainchild.  When he used it on anyone else it made Sirius smile.  Facing it himself was agonizing.

“Do you believe that sometimes your best mate can also be the love of your life?”  He’d channeled everything he felt and thought into Byron.  Remus set a great store in books and the written word, and Sirius hoped that maybe works written in black and white would make his argument for him.

“I think the hardest thing to believe is that I could possibly be that extraordinarily lucky.”  With the blink of his eye Sirius could see all the vulnerability Moony had been hiding.  The hope and the fear, the trust and the love.  The love he saw there knocked the breath out of him.

“Merlin, I think you just scared five years off my life, you were that hard to read.”  He pulled himself through the window and squatted in front of Remus.  “Do you really think you could love me?”

“You deserve to be scared, you bloody git.  You had me secretly editing books you wrote and somehow you became an author for the lark of it.”  Remus rubbed his forehead, like he did when something was puzzling him or the writing of something was particularly confusing.  “I’ve been in love with you for ages, Pads, and I find there’s generally very little thinking involved.  It’s a simple fact.”

“I don’t think there’s anything simple about it.”  Sirius Black was the author of seventeen and a half books, and it seemed to him there was only one possible option for what came next.  He kissed Moony, of course.  Kissed him like Byron had kissed George, like Psych had once kissed Cupid and Darcy had kissed Elizabeth.  The kiss had been brewing up inside him for some time and he did not stop until the air was gone from his lungs.  And then he said the words that he planned on repeating every day for the rest of his life.  “I love you Moony.”

“I love you too, Phaedra White.”

Sirius groaned, and laughed, and kissed his Moony all over again.  It was Absolutely Brilliant.

[androgyne-acolyte]

Prayers of the People: on humility

Delivered at my church on September 1, 2019; inspired by Luke 14:1-14 (the lead-up to the Parable of the Great Dinner).

Let us pray, uniting our voices whenever God is called upon, with the words “hear our prayer”.

God of hosts — not of armies but of dinner tables — let us acknowledge that our world continues to be like those ancient banquets, where some have conspicuously exalted themselves and others come with barely a crust of bread. Remind us that to transform our tables into places of equity requires ongoing work. May our gatherings not be replications of the hierarchies of this world, but tiny examples of conscious communion. God of openness and grace, hear our prayer.

Remind us, O God, that though we are made in your image, our words alone do not have the power to transform the reality of this world. May we accept that even our noblest motivations can perpetuate harm to those around us. Let us humble ourselves in body and spirit, sitting quietly at the lowest seat so that we may learn from giving our neighbours pride of place. God of the sidelines, hear our prayer. 

Let us name the ways we may hold power over others, whether personally or systemically. We may be white where our ancestors’ self-interest painted other human beings as lesser; we may be male in a world that sees us as default. We may be straight or cisgender in a society where other ways of loving, more complex ways of being, have long been judged as deviant. God of complications, hear our prayer.

We may be gainfully employed while others struggle to make rent; we may have secure housing while others search for a place to sleep at night. O God, help us renounce the advantages we have been given, and share our abundance with those who have been dealt an unfair hand. God of wealth within poverty, hear our prayer.

God who sees all things for what they are: let us not assume the texture of any playing field. We pray that every valley may be raised, and every hill and mount made low. May the lowly be magnified and the powerful dethroned, as all rugged ground becomes level. May all beings experience your unbounded presence, which speaks, ever so surprisingly, in a still small voice. God of overturning, hear our prayer.

May we commit to learning the wisdom and courage to overturn our own tables, to relinquish the seat of honour and be accomplices in the project of justice. May our hearts be broken open and rivers of compassion flow forth, washing away our self-conscious guilt, that we may truly listen and understand one another. God of vulnerability, hear our prayer.

May we empty ourselves of our egos; our self-interest, our need to stay on top, and our need to be right. Remind us that your Way can be difficult to walk, and is never quite what we expect. Give us the courage to let our false selves and defense mechanisms be crucified with Christ, so that our true and better natures may rise, plain and raw and shining with a new sincerity. God of transformation, hear our prayer.

May we become agents of a true peace that does not avoid uncomfortable questions. In seeking peace, let us not be doormats of the rich and powerful, but let us opt out of the games of power altogether. Teach us to hold a mirror up to the domination systems that surround us. Show us how to become servants to a greater purpose than this world can imagine. God of peace through justice, hear our prayer.

Let us echo the prayer that Jesus taught us, a prayer of openness to your Divine Way; a prayer in which we humbly ask that the basic needs of all may be met, knowing that many are still hungry; for forgiveness of debts when economic inequality is a stumbling block for more people than ever before; and for your vision of love and justice to be made manifest on earth — an in-breaking un-kingdom far greater than any human government — as we say together: Our Mother, Our Father…

[fontasticcrablettes]

The more I think about it, the less I like the “Yuri adopted all these kids and babysits them all game” jokes.  Yes, yes, they’re jokes, but also I just don’t see the party dynamics like that.  

Yuri isn’t that much of an adult.  He clearly still doesn’t know what he’s doing in his life and he has to find his calling throughout the game as much as anyone else.  And Judith, while technically younger than him, is a lot more worldly.  She’s independent, has her own mission, knows what she’s about, and takes care of herself.  At the very least, she and Yuri are on equal footing re: adopting the others. 

Raven is a whole ass adult too.  Unlike Yuri, he is unquestionably an adult. He’s got his issues and stresses, yeah, but depression doesn’t take away one’s agency as an adult and doesn’t mean he needs some 21 year old to be his minder.  

So right there it’s not “Yuri as the frazzled dad and his kids” but “Three adults helping each other out while watching out for three kids.”  And even on the kid side, Rita is already pretty self-sufficient.  She might be fifteen, but she is gainfully employed and has her own house, which hits more stereotypical requirements for “proper adult” than Yuri.  She might be young, but as a child prodigy with more world experience beyond Zaphias, she and Yuri are on roughly equal footing.  

It’s really only Karol and Estelle that he plays mentor to.  Oh and Repede is there, too, and he takes care of Repede but like... way less than a realistic dog would need taking care of.  Vesperia party is a total found family dynamic but the family isn’t “tired dad becomes guardian to a bunch of adopted kids” but “a bunch of broken, lonely people find each other and provide mutual support and guidance, until they’re more than just friends - they’re a family.”  

Yuri’s friends help his growth as much as he helps theirs and framing him as the guardian feels like it’s ignoring the important contributions Yuri’s friends made to him and not just vice versa.

But yeah, yeah, I know, It’s just a joke.  I just wanted to ramble about Vesperia Party Family because I love them.

[tranbergelliott1]

Why Should Your Self Managed Super Fund Have Reserves

Australia has over 400,000 Self Managed Superannuation Funds (SMSF or DIY Funds) worth over $370 billion. For Australians a self managed super fund lets you possess a unique strategy to achieve you and your family's retirement, lifestyle and estate planning goals. This article examines why you ought to have fund reserves within your self managed super fund. 1. Supplementing members' account balances Members' accumulation accounts could possibly be supplemented with reserves during times of poor investment performance, to ensure that members receive consistent development in their benefits. 2. Providing benefits to those that cannot make contributions Members who're at the very least 65 years old have to be gainfully employed on at the very least a part-time basis so as to make contributions (or have contributions made for the children) to their superannuation fund. 'Part-time' employment according of a financial year means employment for a minimum of 40 hours in the period of not more than 30 consecutive days in that year. Note that the allocation of earnings from a great investment reserve account isn't a 'contribution' and may therefore be produced with a member's account, no matter whether they satisfy this test or otherwise not. 3. Estate planning advantages Investment reserves may assist a superannuation fund trustee to make what's typically called an 'anti-detriment' payment, to make sure the dependants of an deceased member (typically spouse and children) can receive a greater one time after death which they are entitled. Broadly, a superannuation fund may claim a deduction if this pays out a superannuation one time payment, around the death of an member to the member's estate or their dependants, when it enhances the one time payment by a sum equal for the additional amount it could have paid for if contributions tax wasn't payable around the contributions which funded the lump sum payment. super health are prescribed for calculating this amount. However, this increased one time have to be paid for ahead of the deduction might be claimed. Superannuation funds with reserves may fund this additional amount in the reserve account. Those funds without reserves could possibly have difficulty making the excess payment beyond the deceased member's benefits, particularly when an SMSF only has one member. 4. Temporary incapacity benefits Members that are temporarily not able to perform normal employment duties because of ill-health (physical or mental) may get an income stream from other super fund. Broadly, 'temporarily' implies that the member just isn't suffering permanent incapacity. The income stream the member receives is non-commutable. It should be purchased the intention of continuing the remuneration the member was receiving before the temporary incapacity, and must end if the time period of temporary incapacity ceases. Generally, this income stream can only be paid from employer contributions which might be over the superannuation guarantee level, insurance proceeds or reserves. The income stream is taxable to the member at marginal tax rates and there is no 15% pension rebate. Thus, reserves can provide resources to fund a person's temporary incapacity, especially as numerous individuals don't carry insurance because of this risk inside their superannuation fund. 5. Other reasons There might be unexpected or unforeseen expenses that arise every now and then inside a fund, eg a loss of revenue suffered on a good investment which diminishes the member's account right before they're paid their benefit. Having moneys in reserves may assist in managing these types of unforeseen expenses. To discover whether an Australian self managed super fund meets your requirements contact Leennane Templeton The Self Managed SuperSpecialistsatsuccess@leenanetempleton.com.au Disclaimer The information in this document is founded on information thought to be accurate and reliable during the time of publication. Any illustrations of past performance usually do not imply similar performance later on. To the extent permissible legally, neither we nor any of our related entities, employees, or directors gives any representation or warranty as to the reliability, accuracy or completeness from the information, or accepts any responsibility for any person acting, or refraining from acting, about the basis of information in this communication. This information is of your general nature only. It is just not intended as personal advice or as investment recommendation, and will not evaluate the particular investment objectives, financial circumstances and needs of your particular investor. Before making a great investment decision you must read the product disclosure statement of any financial product known on this newsletter and speak to your financial planner to assess perhaps the advice is acceptable for your particular investment objectives. finances and needs.

[huff67ellington]

Girl Authorized Rights

As their names indicate, a prenup is an agreement that you just and your intended make previous to marriage that goes into effect upon the date of the wedding. The postnuptial agreement is an analogous agreement that's created after the wedding. In each case, either side conform to how finances, belongings, and money owed will be handled should both party die or should the marriage finish in divorce. Such agreements may help you avoid alimony when correct monetary preparations have been made through a legitimate, correctly executed contract between you and your partner. Consider transferring assets with built-in tax liabilities to your-soon-to-be ex in lieu of making some or all of the nondeductible alimony funds which may otherwise be required to close the deal. Examples embrace appreciated securities held in a taxable brokerage agency account, an appreciated vacation home, and so on. If your spouse is cohabiting with a non-marital companion, she or he is presumed to have a reduced want. If the partner who desires alimony has the ability, capability and opportunity to be gainfully employed however refuses to work or is willfully underemployed, one possibility is a vocational examination. Unless the self employed partner is in an uncommon business, self-employment earnings can range from month to month, quarter to quarter or year to year. For a complete look at alimony, try our excellent guide on California alimony legal guidelines. If you consider your spouse is actually incapable of making alimony funds, you may think about working out an agreement between the 2 of you which ones reduces or suspends alimony until your partner will get back to work. Make certain, however, your spouse is conscious of you're ready to go to courtroom if the funds do not begin again. You should also think about hiring an attorney to draft the settlement and ensure your rights are absolutely protected. The first step you want to take is to check your alimony settlement and courtroom order to see if they are saying anything about altering support. Most marital settlement agreements and/or courtroom divorce judgments comprise provisions that define the phrases of alimony funds, like how a lot might be paid every month and when the funds are due. Normally, a partner will request alimony – or spousal support – when he or she makes less cash than the opposite and can't live financially independently with out the other spouse’s support. In other words, the payment obligation must cease if the recipient celebration dies to guarantee that the cost to qualify as deductible alimony. Failing to satisfy this requirement for payments to cease if the recipient dies is the commonest purpose for lost alimony deductions. The Child Support Act covers youngster upkeep arrangements for families residing in New Zealand and households the place one of many parents lives in Australia. However, you may have the ability to get child support underneath the Family Proceedings Act 1980 even should you or the other father or mother lives outdoors of New Zealand and Australia. The quantity of child support to be paid is dependent upon how a lot each mother or father earns and how much time the child spends dwelling with every father or mother. how to avoid paying alimony in california If the marriage is shorter, say underneath 10 years, then the explanation for alimony is extra likely to be one of helping the supported partner become self-supporting. The longer you stay married, the longer the alimony time period will doubtless be. The court considers the wedding length when figuring out the term. If the recipient partner proves the opposite spouse had the power to pay at the time payments were due, however chose to not pay, then that is felony contempt. In legal contempt proceedings, the owing spouse has the same rights as a person accused of a crime. With felony contempt, the individual who did not pay support could be jailed as punishment for that failure to pay. With civil contempt, the particular person owing support may be jailed until payments are made.

[grevebutler0]

Why Should Your Self Managed Super Fund Have Reserves

Australia has over 400,000 Self Managed Superannuation Funds (SMSF or DIY Funds) worth over $370 billion. For super health check online managed super fund enables you to possess a unique tactic to achieve you and the family's retirement, lifestyle and estate planning goals. This article examines why you need to have fund reserves in your self managed super fund. 1. Supplementing members' account balances Members' accumulation accounts may be supplemented with reserves during periods of poor investment performance, to guarantee that members receive consistent growth in their benefits. 2. Providing benefits to people that cannot make contributions Members who are no less than 65 years old must be gainfully employed on at least a part-time basis so as to make contributions (or have contributions made for the children) with their superannuation fund. 'Part-time' employment according of a financial year is understood to be employment for at least 40 hours in the time period of not more than 30 consecutive days because year. Note that an allocation of earnings from a smart investment reserve account isn't a 'contribution' and will therefore be produced to some member's account, whether or not they satisfy this test you aren't. 3. Estate planning advantages Investment reserves may assist a superannuation fund trustee to generate what's commonly referred to as an 'anti-detriment' payment, to ensure the dependants of your deceased member (typically spouse and youngsters) can receive a greater lump sum after death this agreement they're entitled. Broadly, a superannuation fund may claim a deduction if it pays out a superannuation one time, on the death of the member to the member's estate or their dependants, whether it boosts the lump sum by a sum equal on the additional amount it might have settled if contributions tax had not been payable for the contributions which funded the one time payment. Specific formulas are prescribed for calculating this amount. However, this increased one time payment has to be settled before the deduction can be claimed. Superannuation funds with reserves may fund this additional amount from your reserve account. Those funds without reserves may have difficulty making the extra payment beyond the deceased member's benefits, in particular when an SMSF just has one member. 4. Temporary incapacity benefits Members who are temporarily unable to perform normal employment duties due to ill-health (physical or mental) may get an income stream off their super fund. Broadly, 'temporarily' means that the member is just not suffering permanent incapacity. The income stream the member receives is non-commutable. It must be paid for the purpose of continuing the remuneration the member was receiving prior to temporary incapacity, and must end once the duration of temporary incapacity ceases. Generally, this income stream could only be paid from employer contributions which are higher than the superannuation guarantee level, insurance proceeds or reserves. The income stream is taxable to the member at marginal tax rates and there is no 15% pension rebate. Thus, reserves can offer resources to invest in a person's temporary incapacity, especially as many people do not carry insurance just for this risk inside their superannuation fund. 5. Other reasons There could possibly be unexpected or unforeseen expenses that arise every so often inside a fund, eg a loss of revenue suffered on a great investment which diminishes the member's account right before these are paid their benefit. Having moneys in reserves may help in managing these kind of unforeseen expenses. To discover whether an Australian self managed super fund meets your requirements contact Leennane Templeton The Self Managed SuperSpecialistsatsuccess@leenanetempleton.com.au Disclaimer The information found in this document is based on information regarded as accurate and reliable during publication. Any illustrations of past performance do not imply similar performance in the future. To the extent permissible for legal reasons, neither we nor any of our related entities, employees, or directors gives any representation or warranty as to the reliability, accuracy or completeness from the information, or accepts any responsibility for any person acting, or refraining from acting, on the basis of information in this communication. This info is of your general nature only. It is not intended as personal advice or as investment recommendation, and evaluate the particular investment objectives, finances as well as of your particular investor. Before making a good investment decision you must browse the product disclosure statement of any financial product known as in this newsletter and speak to your financial planner to assess perhaps the advice is appropriate for your particular investment objectives. finances and requires.

[ssslawyers]

Property Division in the Wake of Relation Breakdown

The Family Law Act 1975 provides for the division of the property between the parties to the relationship. We will briefly consider as to what constitutes the property, the principles applicable for the division and the judicial restraint to be exercised by the courts while determining the division of property issues.

The first requirement would be identifying and valuing the financial resources, assets, and liabilities. The timing of acquisition of such asset or resource at the first stage is not relevant. To simplify the assets would include but not limited to immovable property owned jointly or independently including the foreign held property; Superannuation; Business interests; Trust interests; Investments; jewellery; Cars; Antiques/arts; inheritance, Money in Banks or otherwise, Pets. At the same time, liabilities such as debts, mortgages, loans, tax liabilities and stamp duty obligations whether held jointly or individually will be deducted. The valuation of assets especially of the business interests can be quite complex and on occasions require the involvement of forensic accountants.

Once the pool is established, the next step requires the assessment of the contributions made by the parties during their relationship. The contributions are direct and indirect financial contributions to the property of the parties AND direct and indirect non-financial contributions to the properties of the parties. Arguably, each party to the case would claim higher contribution than the other partner and it may be so found in the particular cases where the relationship was short and there were no children or in a case AND where one of the parties entered into the relationship with considerably more assets than the other party AND where one of the parties made a substantial contribution by way of inheritance, gift from the family or compensation award.

The next issue is to determine the future needs of each of the parties while looking into the age and state of health of each of the parties; income property and financial resources of each party and their capacity to have gainfully employed; care of the child of the relationship under the age of 18 years; commitments necessary to enable a party to support self or any other person the party is obligated to maintain; eligibility of the party for a pension superannuation; standard of living reasonable in the circumstances; the extent to which the earning capacity of a party has been affected by the relationship, and in case living with someone the financial circumstances of their household.

The most important aspect for the court is to be satisfied that it is just and equitable to alter the property rights of the parties. The competent court is governed by the principle of judicial restraint. The Australian family law jurisprudence does not recognise community of property. The present approach is that the court should not begin from an assumption that a couple’s property rights are or should be different from the state of legal and equitable title. The fact that there was a justification for altering the property rights does not imply appropriate recourse in every case. Many couples have joint legal title to the home, bank accounts and other assets other than superannuation that are owned equally. Prior to 2012, the Australian family property law rested upon an unspoken assumption that the state of title was almost entirely irrelevant to the division of property on separation and the court should simply look at the pool of assets and divide in accordance with percentages determined by an exercise of judicial discretion. However, Post 2012 (Stanford case) the court had to consider in every case whether it was just and equitable to make any alteration of the property rights before determining the extent of such an adjustment. In the context of property and maintenance proceedings, the court is required to determine the parties’ respective financial position as a consequence of the court’s contribution-based assessment of their respective shares and if any further adjustment is needed.

In another case, the court held proceeds of lottery win of more than half a million dollar during cohabitation being not an asset which should be altered in favour of the other party and allowed the win to be retained by the party who bought the ticket. This emanated from relying on the principle of no community property in Australia.