#the same note parade starts on. it's funny

[merakiui]

ebb and flow.

yandere!floyd leech x (female) reader cw: yandere, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, dub-con, nsfw, stepcest, obsession, getting high/use of edibles, reader is implied to have small breasts, octavinelle trio is human in this story, au with no magic, brief mention of alcohol use, brief mention of implied somnophilia, reader and trio are 18 in the last scene of the story (in case it isn't clear) note - like the tide, floyd's interests ebb and flow. you happen to be more than a passing fancy.

When he’s old enough to put his thoughts into words, Floyd declares, rather obnoxiously, that girls are gross and he wants nothing to do with them.

“All they ever wanna do is talk about dolls and dresses,” he laments, scuffing his shoe against the cobbles.

“You know I’m a girl, right?” You scoff and turn your nose up, mildly offended. “And not all girls are like that. I’m not like that.”

And it’s true. You give as good as you get. You lunge after Floyd when he yanks your favorite toys out of your hands or when he tugs on your hair, every infraction intentional. He knows just how to rile you up enough for you to give chase. You’re keen to wrestle him in the mud on rainy days in the same way he’s willing to race you up and down the streets to prove outlandish points.

Growing up with two brothers—though they aren’t your family by blood, referring to them as your step-brothers is a knotty mouthful you prefer to avoid—taught you things you never would have learned if you had a sister.

Perhaps their presence served to stoke the fires of playful violence—meaningless quarrels that were resolved in a matter of minutes, often punctuated with halfhearted apologies. Once, in the middle of a particularly nasty brawl, you kicked Floyd in the jaw and knocked his front tooth free. Morbidly amused, Jade applauded you for the show. Floyd held his bruised face in one hand, glaring viciously as blood dribbled from his lips. He reeled his arm back, but it never landed. Your father chewed the lot of you out before he could throw the punch.

“What are we going to do with you?” your mother would say while she patched the both of you up. “Always fighting like this… That’s not very nice now, is it?”

The twins’ mother died shortly after giving birth and so they never knew the concept of a mother until five years later when their father remarried. It was then when you joined their family of three, and the twins had taken to their new mother like fish in water. Adoringly, they would tug on her skirt and demand attention. She was all too happy to indulge them, lifting them into her arms one at a time.

“You know that means Mama and me, don’t you?” you add, skipping ahead of him.

“That’s different. Mama doesn’t count. She’s special.”

“What about me?”

Floyd takes one look at you and smiles that mean, mocking smile. “You’re even worse. You’ve got girl germs.”

You don’t bother granting him a head start. He’s already running.

On the cusp of a growth spurt, his face peppered in pimples, Floyd is only fifteen when you chase him out of your bedroom.

“Get out! Get out! Get out!” Your piercing shrieks and Floyd’s raucous laughter echo through the halls, drawing the perpetually curious Jade out of his room like a worm from an apple core.

He’s greeted with the sight of Floyd, who has clasped your bra around his head and is now parading about proudly. A plush octopus flies after him and smacks into the wall. Seconds later, you burst from your room with embarrassment painted on your face.

“Oh my.” Jade observes the scene unfold from behind his fist. His mismatched eyes glitter with mischief.

“You’re so tiny! Your boyfriend’s gonna fall in love with a shrimp!” Floyd sticks his tongue out at you. “Shrimpy (Name)! Shrimpy (Name)! I’ve got a shrimp for a sis!”

“That’s not funny, and Azul’s not my boyfriend!” You reach for him, but he avoids you with an agile sidestep. “Knock it off! Give it back!”

“But it fits me better.”

“It does not!” You turn to Jade and gesture wildly at Floyd, who is now batting his lashes like a princess. “Don’t just stand there! Help me out.”

“Oh, I’m afraid I’m much more suited to the sidelines. I wouldn’t want to interrupt your fun.”

You grit your teeth. “You ass—”

“So much noise! What in the world is going on here?”

Your mother makes her way up the stairs just as Floyd tugs the bra off his head. You round on her before the twins can. 

“Mooom, Floyd’s being gross. He stole my bra and won’t give it back.”

“Huuuh. No way. She’s totally framin’ me. I don’t have her bra.” Floyd folds his arms over his chest, feigning innocence. “That’s just icky. Why would I have it anyway?”

“Indeed,” Jade agrees coyly, pretending to search for it. “No bra in sight.”

“You’re liars—you and Jade!” You sneer at them. They merely smile angelically. “I’ll kick both of you in your dicks if you don’t—”

“(Name), mind your language!” Sighing, your mother issues both boys a stern frown. “Floyd, sweetheart, it’s not nice to tease your sister. You as well, Jade. Return what you stole and apologize.” She bends down to retrieve the fallen plush and passes it to you. “You too, (Name). You’re family. Family shouldn’t fight.”

“I don’t owe him an apology.”

“And I don’t have her bra.”

“He’s lying! Floyd was in my room, digging through my clothes.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Yeah-huh!”

Jade smiles wide enough to reveal the braces on his teeth. “Now that (Name) mentions it, I did see Floyd sneaking about. Oh, but maybe that’s not right. I only caught a glimpse, after all.” 

Floyd has no reason to look so betrayed. Jade oscillates between sides whenever it sates his hunger for amusement. Today, as luck would have it, he’s on your side. For now.

“If you’re as innocent as you claim, surely there’s no reason to keep your arms clasped behind your back.”

“You really don’t have anyone’s back, do you?”

“Floyd…” Your mother looks at him expectantly, her eyes soft despite her tone.

He thrusts his arm out and drops your bra. “Fine. Take it back. Wasn’t havin’ any fun with it anyways.”

“Honestly, you’re such a pervert,” you snap, swiping it from the floor. “Next time you wanna come in my room, you’d better knock first. How would you like it if I went into your and Jade’s room and stole one of your shirts?”

He sticks his tongue out at you, defiant like the brat he is. If your mother wasn’t standing behind you, you’d have exacted your revenge right then.

“(Name), be nice to your brother. Floyd, apologize to your sister.”

Floyd doesn’t look you in the eyes when he spits a mean-sounding, “Sorry.”

Jade can only snicker, feasting on this live entertainment like it’s the richest meal.

“And I’m sooo sorry you’re annoying and everyone’s gotta put up with you.” With an exasperated huff, you strut back into your room and slam the door shut. It locks with a loud click.

“Give her some time. She just needs to cool down,” you hear your mother explain. “But, really, you should know better, Floyd. It’s not right to go into anyone’s room and take their things.”

“I would never do something so egregious, Mother,” Jade admits, which you find hard to believe because he’s just as sly, if not more so, than his twin.

“She’s just mad I’m funnier than her,” Floyd says. A blatant falsehood if you’ve ever heard one.

You could never understand Floyd’s obsession with your laundry. Maybe he was just your typical hormone-addled teenager with nothing better to do but fantasize about women and their undergarments, and seeing as you were the only girl he was close to—both in age and as siblings—who else could bear the brunt of his delinquency?

Or it had nothing to do with that at all, and he was just determined to be as much of a pest as possible.

Back then, that made sense.

Back then, you were foolish.

Back then, you didn’t know. No one did. Not really.

Lying between your brothers, lost in thought, you stare at the plastic stars and planets pasted to your ceiling. A dulcet adagio trickles out of the tiny speaker on your bedside table. The honeyed vocals soften the static in your brain, snuffing every burden with beautiful bossa nova. You soak in every lyric, imagining yourself in the singer’s position: falling for someone in midnight blue, blooming beneath their touch, your dress falling to your ankles, exploring each other’s shorelines…

The fantasy floats away as soon as Floyd opens his mouth, and you’re brought back to reality. No lover in your arms. No midnight blue. No flowering feelings. No dress.

“When’s this stuff supposed to kick in? I don’t feel a thing.”

“Patience,” Jade murmurs, practically melting into the mattress. “You’ll know once it happens.”

“Well, I don’t. Your shit sucks.”

“As does your attitude.”

“Whatever.” Floyd snuggles closer to you, pulling your arm into his chest. “What about you, Shrimpy? You feel it yet?”

“Mmh, sorta… I dunno. Don’t call me that.”

“Once a shrimp, always a shrimp.”

“I did offer the other half.”

“I’ll take it if I feel like it.” You shake Floyd off and pout at Jade. “Mom and Dad’ll lose it if they find out, you know.”

Jade flashes his teeth at you in a cheeky grin. “I’m counting on you to be a sweet, dependable sister and keep my little secret safe.”

“Lips are sealed.”

“What a good pet you are. So obedient.”

You exhale a soft, gasping laugh. “You’re so weird.”

“But you’re smiling.”

“Only because you’re weird!”

He giggles and leans in close, his nose brushing yours. When he speaks again, it’s in a softer tone, near-hypnotic. “So you do feel it.”

“Maybe.”

With a petulant whine, Floyd presses himself against you from behind. “No fair. I wanna be all silly like you and Jade. Gimme the other half. I’ll take it right now.”

“You can grab it.”

“You’re closer.”

“Alas… My limbs are lead.”

“Asshole,” Floyd gripes, leaning over you and Jade to swipe the box from the bedside table. He often keeps his stash there. Sometimes it’s stocked with gummy edibles or mushrooms, all wrapped in plastic. Jade’s resourceful like a squirrel, crafty in ways you can’t fathom.

Today, you’re holed up in your room because you have a bigger bed. There are fairy lights strung up on the walls, providing the space with just enough dimness for you to see your surroundings. It’s the perfect ambience for this slow, lazy Saturday in November. Your parents are out for the afternoon and won’t be back until later, and you couldn’t be any happier to have the house to yourself.

As soon as the door shut, you exchanged knowing looks with your brothers and hurried back to your room. Jade told you he’d take you and Floyd to his favorite spot in the forest after midterms and then the lot of you could truly kick back and relax with some pre-rolls. He’d invite Azul and make it a picnic in the woods. A whole day filled with fun. In your heart, it would be a date. Your brothers would just be the unwanted third and fourth wheels.

Really, you could care less about getting high. Azul is more than a drug—he’s oxygen—and you crave him like an addict feens for a fix. Floyd thinks your crush on him is stupid and misplaced. You beg to differ. You’ve admired him since childhood. How could you possibly fall out of love now?

Floyd flops back into the empty space beside you, chewing the rest of the gummy worm. His arm drapes across your waist. “What’re we doin’ tomorrow?”

“I’m going to the library to study with Azul.”

“Lame.”

“You’re not invited.” You roll over on your side to address him, speaking slowly. “Don’t show up.”

“Now I kinda want to. I wanna see what you and Azul get up to.”

“Studying.”

“Mmh, I doubt that.” Jade sticks to you like moss, his eyes fluttering shut. “Azul’s studying, at least. You’re daydreaming.”

“Not my fault he’s cute.”

“I’m cuter.” Floyd’s lips turn down in a disappointed moue. “Ain’t I cute?”

“No way. You’re ugly.”

“I’m inclined to agree.”

“No one asked you, Jade. ‘Sides, ain’t that basically the same as sayin’ you’re ugly, too?”

“I dunno,” he mumbles dumbly, the words muffled in your shoulder. “What do you think, (Name)?”

“Get yourself a girlfriend and then you can ask her.”

“Won’t you be my stand-in girlfriend?”

“Yeah, that’s good.” Floyd curls his fingers around the strap of your tank top. He tugs it up and down your arm in a languid rhythm. You’re floating amongst the clouds, your mind filled with a pleasant fuzz, so scolding him isn’t a priority. “Forget about bein’ our sis for a sec.”

“Get lost.”

“How cold…” Jade sniffles.

“Shrimpy’s ruthless.”

“Stop calling me that.”

Floyd’s hand crawls across your chest to grope you through your shirt. “Mmh, nope. Still small.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“Am not.”

“I think you’re sized just right.” Jade’s spidery digits creep along your hip and splay across your stomach. “Azul won’t even notice. He doesn’t pay attention to your assets like we do.”

“I wish he would.” You meet Jade’s half-lidded stare. “Does he talk about me?”

“In what context? You’ll need to be specific,” he purrs, and if you weren’t swimming in bliss you’d elbow him in the mouth.

It’s like pulling teeth with Jade. He makes things so irritatingly difficult for no reason.

“You know the context.”

“Sometimes he says stuff,” Floyd replies instead. He rests his head in the crook of your neck and inhales the sugary notes of your perfume.

“Good stuff?”

Vibrating with a woozy warmth, you squirm between your brothers. It’s stifling being in the middle of their sandwich, but the proximity is pleasing. Comfortable. Reassuring. You feel like an anchored ship between the both of them, safely pinned down amidst the tumultuous waves of your bedsheets. You sigh dreamily when Floyd’s legs twine around yours.

“He thought your sweater was real cute.”

“Which one?”

“All of ’em.”

“Hmm. Okay.” But that doesn’t satisfy you. “What type of girl is he into?”

“Why don’t you make him your boyfriend? Then you can find out,” Jade says.

He aims for a sharp smile and falls short. It mellows out into something stupid and lopsided. He thinks he’s the funniest creature on the planet, and in this moment he is because the retort has you snowballing into a fit of giggles.

“Maybe I will.”

Floyd tracks your throat as it bobs with every swallow. He glances at your jaw next, at the glitters speckled on your cheeks. They sparkle like miniature stars, an entire galaxy imprinted on your skin. “You’re wearin’ makeup.”

“Hm?”

“Perfume, too. Smells good.”

“I bought some when I went to the mall.”

“When?”

“Last week? Two weeks ago? I can’t remember.”

“You doin’ it for Azul?”

“Who else? Certainly not you.”

Floyd scowls at Jade. “Don’t answer for her. I wanna hear it from her.”

“You’re my brother. Why would it be for you?” you mumble, more confused than unsettled.

Obviously it’s for Azul.

“Why not? It’s not fair other guys get to see ya lookin’ this good. Why should I be excluded just cuz I’m your brother?”

His lips drag against your neck. There’s nothing special about his affection. It’s dubiously platonic, but you’re used to it. He’s always been prone to expressing himself through physical means. Too-tight hugs, pecks on the cheek, a gentle squeeze in clasped hands. It was cute when you were children, but now you’re seventeen and it’s getting harder to explain his clingy nature.

“I don’t care what other guys think.”

“Just Azul?” Jade prompts, toying with the hem of your top. His fingers slide beneath it to prod at your navel, and suddenly Azul is no longer the most important part of this conversation. “Have you ever considered piercing it?”

“What? My belly button?”

“Ooh, good idea. You could match jewelry with us. How about it? I’ll getcha some sturgeon scales.”

“Mom’ll kill me.”

“In that case, we’re both dead.”

You blink at Jade, searching for the meaning in his mismatched hues. He opens his mouth, unfurling his tongue to reveal the venom piercing. The shock washes over you like a wave, and just as it’s receding it hits you—what you’re looking at.

“Your tongue! You actually—since when?”

“Two weeks.”

“What the hell! Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve come with. Moral support and stuff.”

He laughs when you nudge him. “It wasn’t so bad. I’d like to get more.”

“Does Dad know?”

“Not at all.”

“Dangerous.”

“Thrilling,” he corrects, a minacious glint in his gaze.

“Jade’s changin’ up his whole look. Super cool, ain’t it?”

“And what about you?” You turn over towards Floyd. His hands settle on your lower back. He all but tugs you away from Jade, who frowns and shuffles closer until his hips press against your ass. You feel his mouth at your bare shoulder, lavishing it with little pecks. “Do you want more piercings?”

“You into guys with piercings?”

“I don’t really care. Piercings are great. Tattoos, too.”

“Then I’ll get a tattoo.”

“So it’s settled. (Name) will pierce her navel, and Floyd will get a tattoo.”

“Sure,” you agree, but you don’t expect anything to come out of it. Just a random idea thrown around in the haze of your high.

You’re closer than family should be, but that’s the last thing on your mind when you’re twisted between them. This is normal. At least, it’s the normal you’ve grown up with.

What isn’t normal, though, is Floyd’s insistence that he ought to shape himself into the man of your dreams when, clearly, the man of your dreams goes by the name of Azul Ashengrotto. But you’re not worried. It’s always said in jest, or you assume it’s in jest.

In the back of your mind, you wonder if Azul would like you more if you had a pretty piercing to show off.

You’re weeks away from prom when Azul says yes.

“Wait… Really? Seriously?”

“I was under the impression we were all going,” he says with that charismatic chuckle you love dearly. “As a group, yes?”

Your hopes plummet alongside pieces of your heart. “Oh. Y-Yeah, right. A group. Of course.”

“I do appreciate the poster, though.” He holds it up as if it’ll reveal a secret message when caught in the sun. The cartoon octopus you spent hours sketching, lining, and coloring smiles back at him. “‘It would be so tenta-cool if you could be the sea to my shore at prom.’ How ingeniously cheesy.”

Your laughter is hollow. That’s the last time I’m asking Jade for advice on ocean puns.

“I’m glad you think so… Hey, you’re coming over before the dance, right? We’re thinking of doing something.”

“A party before the party?” Azul rolls the poster up and carefully fits it into his messenger bag. It sticks out from under the flap. “I’m not opposed. What did you have in mind?”

“We could get dinner.” Just the two of us. “Whatever you want, really. My dad’s planning to send us there in a limo. Real classy, y’know.”

Azul falls into step with you. “If that’s the case, we might as well go all out.”

Sensing an in, you stare at him. “The girls in my class are going on and on about how prom’s gotta be this magical thing. It can’t get more magical than a fancy car.”

“Goodness. It’s really not that special. You can’t exactly put ‘Prom Queen’ on your resume now, can you?”

“No, but you can make lots of memories. So I was thinking—hypothetically, of course—if you’d wanna go as, like, my fake date. Like, we’re going as a group and everything, but if you want we could get flowers for each other and match outfits and… B-Basically, I’m just trying to see if there’s any merit to what they’re saying about prom. About it being magical with a date.”

“Hm… That’s true. It will be our final social event before we graduate and go out into the world. Our last chance to say and do whatever we’ve neglected in previous years.”

“Right.”

“I wouldn’t mind.” His stare is fixed firmly on the path ahead. “Hypothetically speaking, of course.”

“So…” You swallow your anxieties; your heart is in your throat. “So you’ll be my hypothetical date?”

“I would be honored.”

“Okay. A-All right… Yeah! Great!”

Azul’s pretty blues briefly flick over to you. His cheeks are tinged pink. “Wonderful. I… I’m pleased we’ve worked this out. All hypotheticals, naturally.”

“Yeah, definitely. Just hypothetical.”

“Did…you have a color in mind? Have you picked a dress yet?”

“Something pink or purple. Maybe red. I’m not really sure.”

“Blue would be very flattering on you.” As an afterthought, he scrambles to add, “But that’s just another hypothetical.”

You watch the way he wrings the strap of his bag. “I agree. Blue’s a good color.”

“Isn’t it?”

“I could wear you.” You regret it the moment it leaves your mouth, even more so when Azul raises a bewildered brow. “B-Because your name—no, sorry. That’s dumb. I don’t mean it in the crazy-murderer-who-skins-you-alive way. I meant in the way that’s like—”

“Cheek to cheek?”

“Yeah. No, yeah, that’s right.”

What am I saying? None of this makes any sense. 

Azul laughs and nudges you playfully. “You can wear me. Hypothetically, I’m your date to the dance. It’s only right that I act as your accessory for the evening.”

“Then… T-Then let’s be each other’s garments!”

He hums his approval and the conversation dies there.

You make the rest of the walk out of school in awkward silence. At the gates, Azul turns to you.

“None of this is hypothetical, is it?”

You heave a relieved breath. “Not at all.”

“Then allow me to do away with pretending. I’ll be your prom date. Factually.”

“My factual prom date…”

“It…doesn’t sound as smooth as a hypothetical.”

“But it’s real.”

He smiles shyly. “That it is.”

On the night of prom, alone in an empty corridor, Floyd yanks you into a rough kiss. The music from the ballroom is so loud you can faintly hear it from down the hall. It pulses through you with energetic vibrations, joining your panic in an unsteady duet. You push at Floyd’s chest, struggling against the wall he has you pinned to. He breaks off halfway just to savor your gasp before moving in to reclaim your mouth. It’s a ravenous action. He kisses you like he intends to devour you, licking and nipping at every possible crevice. His teeth click against yours as he endeavors to taste the wine at the back of your throat—courtesy of sneaky, rebellious Jade and his discreet water bottle.

Finally, after gathering enough strength, you shove him off of you. He stumbles, hurt flashing across his face. Ferociously hot up to your ears, your heart stumbling in your rib cage, you can’t believe it. You don’t want to believe it.

That wasn’t real… No way…

Still processing it, you smudge your lipstick when you wipe the drool from your mouth.

You and Floyd watch each other in silence. You’re waiting for him to break it. He’s waiting for you to run away.

“What…was that?”

“You were cozyin’ up to Azul—”

“Because he’s my date!”

“Yeah, but you—Shrimpy, c’mon, you know we agreed to go as a group…”

“And so what? That doesn’t give you the right to kiss me. I was going to—I had an entire plan for this. Azul was gonna be my first kiss!”

“Well, now he’s gonna hafta be second.”

You sputter in shock. “You—you’re so… I just… Wow.”

Floyd’s face hardens and softens and then hardens again. He looked like a kicked puppy a few minutes ago, cowardly and small, but now there’s determination smoldering in his stare.

“I like ya. I like ya a whole lot.” You open your mouth to protest, but he beats you to it. “More than a sister.”

And there it is—the truth you couldn’t confront.

Your frustration withers and blooms anew in a complicated tangle of weeds. “You…like me. Like… Like me, like me?”

Floyd cards a hand through his slicked hair and exhales a heavy breath. “I mean… It’s obvious, ain’t it?”

“Floyd, I… I’m sorry, but I like Azul. You know this.” Now it’s your turn to cut him off before he can speak. “You’re family, Floyd. My brother.”

“So what?”

“It’s wrong, that’s what! We’re family. That’s all we’ve ever been… Look—I don’t have time for this. Azul and Jade are gonna wonder where we went. We can talk about this tomorrow.”

You brush past him, hoping to leave this conversation here and pick it up after the dance. But Floyd won’t have that. He seizes your wrist and tugs you around.

“Just…” He avoids your stare. “Just hear me out, okay? I just wanna love ya.”

“So love me like a normal brother.” You try to pull yourself free, but he holds firm. “I really don’t have time to argue. Actually, this isn’t something I should have to argue in the first place.”

“We’re not related in that way. It’s fine, isn’t it?” He grabs your waist and drags you close.

“Mom and Dad won’t think so. Azul won’t. Honestly, Floyd, let it go. We’ll talk later. Please just—”

“You really don’t get it, do you?”

You inhale slowly, forcing yourself to remain calm. “No, I don’t. I really don’t.”

“I’ve wanted ya longer than Azul—than Jade. Longer than anyone. And I never got to have ya.” Floyd plasters you to the wall again, but this time he slots a knee between your thighs. “Drove me crazy every time I saw ya walkin’ around the house in those stupid shorts or when you’d bring your friends over and you’d wear that stupid nightgown. The soft one with the lace and bows. The one that’s so thin it shows your shrimpy tits.”

Your glower is so blistering it could melt him down to his bones. “You’re disgusting.”

“Maybe.” He laughs, but it isn’t funny. “Didja know? I wanted to kiss you in your sleep. Touch you all over. Stick my fingers in you and watch you squirm… Feel how tight you are when you cling to my cock. You’re still a virgin, ain’tcha? Azul hasn’t done it with you yet, right?”

You yelp when his hand slips under the ruffles of your dress and climbs up your thigh. “W-Wait—stop! Don’t—”

“Gonna take that as a no.”

“Floyd—”

“See? Can’t you say my name instead of his? You don’t gotta daydream with me around. I’ll make you feel good. You don’t need that stupid dildo when you’ve got me.”

His fingers press against the outline of your pussy, teasing you through the fabric. Your body goes rigid. “Y-You can’t… Not here. Someone might see.”

“Let ’em. Then they’ll know you’re all mine.” Floyd noses your throat and deflates against you, hedonistic and selfish. “You always smell so fuckin’ good. Like candy. Sweet and yummy. Makes me wanna bite you and never let go. Taste your shrimpy heartbeat in my mouth…”

“S-Seriously…” You squeeze your eyes shut and bite back a whimper when he squeezes your clit. “Get off of me. You can’t—you’re my brother.”

“Nah. Brothers don’t go around stealin’ their sister’s stuff and usin’ it to get off, do they?”

It occurs to you that you should be furious with him. He deserves more than just your ire. Instead, you can only feel intoxicated as you listen to him ramble filth.

“Remember that pair of panties you thought was clean? The ones with the stain.”

“Yeah, the ones I use when I’m on my period—”

“Not those. The other one.”

“W-What—” You slap your hand over your mouth to muffle your gasp. He rubs you in slow, deliberate circles. With dimming focus, you try to think of anything else—of boring, bland things—to fight off mounting arousal. “What about it?”

“I had that pair wrapped around my dick before you put ’em on.”

“So that was—the stain was—”

“Mhm.”

“Ew! You’re the worst! That was my favorite pair, Floyd!”

He snickers. ��At least it wasn’t you. My old man’ll beat my ass if I knock ya up. Had to use the next best thing.”

“Use your hand, dumbass! Don’t use my stuff!”

“Then stop fuckin’ yourself on your dildo. I hear you through the bathroom door, y’know. Moanin’ like you’re in heat. All of it for Azul. I wanted to come in and help ya out every time, but I couldn’t. And that really ate at me.”

“I don’t want your help,” you spit, glaring.

“No? But you’re so wet. I think my fingers will slip riiight in.” He pulls your panties to the side and prods at your folds. “You wanna test it?”

You shake your head a second too late. Floyd’s already pushing two fingers inside. The breath sticks in your throat. He’s actually doing this, right here in the open. Someone could turn down the hall and spot you. That someone could be—

“A-Azul might catch us. Stop. You really can’t…”

“Aww. What? Don’t want Azul seein’ you like this? Don’t want him to see the mess you’re making? Don’t want him knowing you like being wrapped around your brother’s fingers?”

He’s mean when he curls them suddenly, a brute and a bully all at once. They press against wet, velvety walls, and the noisy squelch leaves you shuddering. You breathe heavily, little huffs that tremble sweetly as he stretches you out.

“S-Shut up. You’re a pervert.”

“That makes two of us.”

You yank him closer by his tie, intending to be threatening and failing. “I’m gonna kill you.”

“Sure you are.”

Without warning, he reaches for your chest and yanks your strapless dress down to reveal your breasts. Your perky nipples poke out against the lingerie tape. He whistles lowly while he marvels at them.

“Still the same pair of shrimpy tits.”

“Nuh-uh. I went up a size.”

“Yeah-huh. I would know. I steal your bras all the time. Same cup size, Shrimpy.”

“So you’re depraved and shameless.”

“No reason to hide it anymore.”

He drags his fingers out and thrusts them back in. You choke on a stifled moan. Deep down in a logical corner of your brain, you know you shouldn’t submit so easily. It’s wrong, but you can’t stop the pleasure that washes over you with every stroke of his fingers. It sends pleasant bolts of bliss up your spine. Your knees wobble, and your thighs are sticky with your slick. When he grinds his thumb against your clit, forcefully insistent, something in your stomach snaps. You come undone in an instant, crashing against a sinful shore. Orgasm wracks through you in a powerful tremor, shaking the thoughts in your skull like a disturbed ecosystem in a terrarium.

Unrelenting, he fucks you through it. You’re boneless in the aftermath, chest heaving and mind reeling.

Floyd’s fingers glide out with ease, shimmering with your juices. He puts them in his mouth to savor the taste of you, his tongue slithering between the space of both digits. Horrifyingly, you admire him as he licks himself clean. Even though you shouldn’t, you wish desperately to feel that muscle inside you, working you towards another grand peak.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

You’re still in a daze when Floyd fixes your panties and dress. You look presentable, if not slightly debauched. Your makeup is a mess, and Floyd’s all too eager to fix it for you. You stand still when he wipes at the corner of your mouth with his thumb and then carefully applies lipstick. Within no time, you’re back to how you were.

“Lookin’ good,” he praises, stuffing the tube in his pocket. “The prettiest Shrimpy at the party. They should make you Prom Queen.”

You swat at him. “Don’t…” And then you sigh. What does it matter? He’s going to call you that regardless of what you think.

Thankfully, the slow dance is only just beginning when you return. You find Azul lingering near the wall, tapping anxiously at his phone. Jade’s also there. Physically. You can’t say the same for his head. He’s taking a trip in his own mental paradise. Floyd stalks after you, his hands stuffed in his pockets. If you didn’t just squirt around his fingers minutes ago, you would’ve assumed the atmosphere of the party was to blame for his euphoria. But you know the real reason.

Azul doesn’t, though.

So it’s with a guilty heart when you lead him onto the dance floor for a waltz.

Your childhood crush—the guy you’ve loved more than life itself—is right in front of you, looking at you like you’ve hung the stars, but the only one you can think of is your step-brother.

That can’t be a good sign.

Floyd joins Jade in his corner. He gazes through him and offers his water bottle. It’s nerdy enough for its contents to be unassuming, what with its mushroom print, but Floyd knows better than to take it at face value. Even so, he grabs hold of it and downs what’s left of the wine. It’s so sweet it sticks to the roof of his mouth.

“Azul’s not staying the night, is he?”

“I’m not sure.” Jade finds you and Azul in the crowd of dancers and hums. “How cruel of you to want to separate them.”

“He’s not gettin’ laid tonight if that’s what he thinks. Not if I can help it.”

“I don’t think he even knows how.”

Floyd laughs. “Nah. He knows.”

“Does he now?”

“C’mon, Jade. He undresses her every time he looks at her.”

“I suppose so.” He smiles moonily, distracted. “She’ll never let you.”

“She won’t let you either.”

“I don’t mind a little pain. To be bloodied and bruised by her gentle hands… I know of no greater exhilaration.”

Floyd rolls his eyes. “Azul’s got it lucky. He gets to hug and kiss her whenever he wants. Meanwhile, I’ve gotta pretend like I don’t wanna fuck her shrimpy brains out every time I get a whiff of her perfume.”

“The odds aren’t very favorable, but I suspect you’ve already had your fun.”

Floyd grins wickedly. “She’s cute. I couldn’t help it.”

“I must agree. She sounds sweetest when she’s caught in the throes of pleasure.”

Floyd starts to nod and then pauses. “How do you know—”

“Oh my. It appears I’ve said too much.”

“No, no. Keep talkin’. You haven’t said nearly enough.”

“You’re not her only brother, you know.”

Floyd thinks there’s more to that sentence, but Jade isn’t willing to get into the details. Not here, at least. He doesn’t have to pry too deeply to understand the hidden implications.

“Asshole. You went and did it before I could.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jade giggles. “A little midnight snacking never hurts. She’s soft and snug inside. Very warm.”

Floyd shoves him away. “Fuck off.”

As long as it’s not Azul, he thinks, watching him as he spins you like a gentleman. Anyone but him.

[chelseypprimrose]

The Pre-College Bucket List / negan smith x reader (stepdad/stepdaughter)

Warnings ⚠️ : voyerism (someone asleep in the room), unprotected sex, cum swapping, blowjob, daddy kink, choking

Author’s note: think this might be the longest and dirtiest thing I’ve ever wrote and I had so much fun with this one, hope you enjoy! 🤍🫡 not proof read yet!

“Y/N! Can you chop those vegetables that are on the kitchen counter please?!” You sighed, rolling your eyes. Even in your last days at the family home, she was still expecting you to do mundane tasks. You didn’t even want this going away party she had planned for you, it wasn’t like you were going that far away anyways, only about a hours drive. More so, you knew the only reason your mom was hosting this party, so she could brag to her friends about how you had got into such a prestigious college. That’s all she ever did, never told you how proud she was of you, only ever posting on social media about it for validation from people over the internet. While you had gotten used to it now, it still stung more than you’d ever admit.

Opening the draw and taking the knife out, you started to chop the various vegetables that were in the bowl, daydreaming out the large window that showed the back garden outside. That’s when he came into view, your stepdad Negan. He’d been in your life for around the past two years, off and on again like a cringey sitcom drama. Him and your mother had broken up more times than you could count, always over some petty arguments, more so what teenagers would fall out about, never mind two fully grown adults.

He kept coming back though, each time, for what aspect of your mothers personality you didn’t know, it was no secret he was always in a mood with her, you recalled even once them managing to get into a argument during sex, over what you weren’t sure. It ended with raised voices, the threat of ending the relationship and the slamming of the front door quite dramatically by Negan.

Here he still was though, probably remaining because of your mothers crippling fear of spending her later years alone. You watched as he opened the large black grill, placing the charcoal into the bottom compartment, ready for cooking the various types of meat he’d purchased. His white t-shirt clinging to his toned muscles underneath, those damn red gym shorts he always paraded around in, even when he wasn’t working as the gym coach at your old high school. His hair slicked back with a small amount of gel, salt and pepper beard trimmed and neat as it always was. As bad as your heated thoughts were, you couldn’t help yourself. Boys your age just weren’t as attractive as the older men you’d come across in your life, boring.

Always the same pick up lines, always trying to hard to get into girl’s panties while offering nothing themselves, not even being able to give you the release you needed. Frustrated wasn’t even the word to begin to describe how most of your recent situationships had been.

His dirty mouth as well, always charming and funny, he’d make you laugh at the worst of times, so inappropriate but that’s what you liked about him. You continued on with your chopping, taking small and quick glances at his impressive frame when you could, now firing up the grill, the smoke rising. Looking down at the now finished cucumber, you reached out to grab the next bowl when you saw Negan’s arms reach to the bottom of his t-shirt, pulling it off in one motion, his slightly tanned and toned stomach coming into view, your eyes glued to his chest.

“Fuck!” You yelped out, the knife making a small cut on the side of your finger, blood flowing out the wound as you dropped the knife onto the counter. Negan’s head whipped around in your direction, taking large strides through the double doors into the kitchen. “You alright, Y/N?” He asked, placing his calloused hands over yours, slightly pulling you towards the kitchen sink, turning the cold water tap on. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine, I was distracted… wasn’t paying attention to what I was doing.” You slightly laughed, hoping he wouldn’t know the reasoning for your moment of ignorance. “Yeah, I gathered that.” Negan stated, a slight smirk coming across his face as he stared into your eyes. You couldn’t bring yourself to look away, holding his gaze as if it was only you two who knew why. “So many distractions around us in this world, wouldn’t you say?” That knowing smirk still plastered over his features. You nodded, not wanting to further embarrass yourself.

Later on, the party was in the second hour, all your friends and family in attendance, the music playing from the outdoor speakers. Most attendees were standing around, some laying on the sun loungers placed next to the big pool and bar that was next to your house. You had a red cup in hand, with wine spritzer, sipping every couple minutes, you’d had enough food that you were feeling tipsy but not out of control. You’d rather not end up embarrassing yourself at your own leaving party, giving the small town something to gossip about after you’d gone. Having small talk here and there with different people, you could hear your mother still boasting loudly about how easy you’d been accepted into the college to various colleagues you recognised from her work place.

“How are you enjoying your party doll?” Deep voice coming from the side of you, Negan coming into view from the peripheral vision of your eye. You smiled, taking another drink of your wine. “Good thanks, not the sort of party I’m used to. Kind of…” you trailed off. “Boring? Think the word your looking for, is boring.” You laughed, looking up at Negan as he raised his eyebrows comically. “You can’t say that! It’s rude.” Your words coated in sarcasm, even though you a hundred percent agreed with his observation. “I appreciate the effort from you and mom but I didn’t really want the big celebration, I’m not moving country, I’m moving a couple hours away. Not so much of a big deal.” You took a seat on the end of the linen sun-lounger, the grey matching umbrella blocking the sunset from your eyes. Negan followed suit, your knees brushing against each other.

“Yeah, well, I tried to tell her you’d be against the big show but I couldn’t convince her. You know she’ll take any opportunity to shit on what other people are doing.” You nodded along, showing your agreement in his statement. You couldn’t deny he was right, your mother would always have to be one above everyone else, a big pissing contest. You thought it was pathetic, just a fake mask to cover over her crumbling love life and how she hadn’t moved up the career ladder in the past ten years. You vowed to yourself you’d never let your life get that way, hard work and dedication would get you to where you wanted to be. “Anything you want to do before you head off to college doll?” You furrowed your brows at Negan’s question as he took another drink of his beer, you weren’t expecting it as it had nothing to do with your previous topic of discussion.

He noted the confused look on your face as he reached into the pocket of his shorts, pulling out a piece of paper with pink lines and heart boarders. Your eyes widened with shock, it was paper from your notebook. He opened it, the words coming into view. “Quite a extensive list, some really good stuff on here dollface.” He smirked, his eyes raking over your pretty, cursive handwriting. He started to laugh, “I could help you out with some of these you know?” You thought he was joking, looking at his face you knew he was serious. You couldn’t remember what you had written, how could you? You had wrote this list a couple months back when you had first got accepted into college. He winked at you before rising to his feet, walking inside to get another beer. You looked on at the surrounding people, he could help you? What did that even mean?

Later on, people had started saying their goodbyes, voicing their congratulations to you as they headed home. “Thank you for coming! I’ll see you on Monday in the office.” Your mother waved at the last couple to leave before shutting the front door, wine glass still in hand. “Hey, I’m not that tired yet, shall we stick a movie on?” Negan suggested, weird you thought. He was normally the first one to retreat to bed after one of your mums social parties but not feeling fatigued yourself you agreed. “Yeah sure but I’ll probably fall asleep, I’m quite tired.” Your mom stated, accompanied with a yawn. You rolled your eyes, more like she’d had too much wine and couldn’t handle it. You moved to the living room, grabbing the large blanket from the first couch, covering your body.

Your mom took a place on the couch placed on the other side of the room, lying down. Negan walked into the room with a small bowl of popcorn, placing it on the glass coffee table in front of the tv. Sitting next to you, he grabbed the remote, putting on some random chic-flick. You settled down, letting your body sink into the couch. Negan’s arm raised to the back of the couch, his fingertips just slightly touching your shoulder. You kept your eyes trained on the tv, feeling your heart beating at a faster pace than before. He started mindlessly drawing small circles on the top of your skin, you felt your core getting tighter with every small touch. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, trying to calm the wave of lust that was flowing over your body. Negan used his other hand to dig into his pocket, pulling out that list again, re opening it, placing it on his knee. “What about this one doll?” He asked, pointing to one of the lines you’d written.

‘Have sex next to someone asleep, fear of getting caught might make it sexier!’

Oh my god, you thought. You couldn’t even remember writing that one, thinking back to the day you wrote it, might have a couple too many drinks. You locked eyes with him, his signature shit-eating grin on his face. “I…um. I-I don’t remember writing that one.” You trailed off, trying to find any excuse to why you’d write something so taboo. Before you could think, Negan threw the paper onto the coffee table, his strong hands grabbing the bottoms of your thighs, lifting you up onto him, the feeling of his semi-erect cock digging into you. You placed your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself, still in disbelief that this was happening.

“Remember when I said I could help you with this list doll?” He whispered into your ear, your face red with embarrassment. You slowly nodded, giving a small sound of agreement. “Do you want my help?” Negan inquired, his hands grabbing the round globes of your ass, emitting a slight whimper out of you at the rough touch of Negan. “Oh god yes, Negan please.” You softly spoke. “Gonna have to be quiet for me doll, wouldn’t want to get caught now would we?” Breathing heavily, your lips were caught by Negan in a deep kiss, your hands trailing from his shoulders to run through his hair. His hands gave another grab of your ass, more powerful, enough to leave red handprints.

“Shit doll, you don’t understand how long I’ve been waiting for this, you’re pretty ass parading around in this house, I can’t believe I haven’t gone fucking crazy.” He stated against your lips, his teeth coming down softly on your lower lip. You faintly moaned out at his confession, there was always some unspoken tension between you both, you just never thought it would come to this conclusion. You broke away from his kiss, fumbling to pull his shorts down to his ankles, lifting your lower half up to get them down successfully. His now fully erect cock gently slapped against his stomach, your hand coming down to smoothly wrap around the base of his cock, rubbing up and down. Negan let out a soft groan, his head falling back as he leaned into your hand, you made the move to the floor, up on your knees in front of him. “Oh shit honey, fuck, you are a dirty fucking girl.” He whispered out.

Your lips wrapped around his tip, peppering small kisses and kitten licks before you took it fully into your mouth, slowly working the top half of his cock. He opened his legs a little wider, allowing you to work further down as he thrusted his hips a little, causing you to gag ever so slightly. His shaft heavy on your tongue, the salty pre cum dancing on your tastebuds. A small trail of saliva leaking from your mouth, you felt your pussy getting slick with your juices, the ever growing danger of what you were doing turning you on more than you imagined.

A small creak caused your body to stop, a slight spark of adrenaline flowing through. Your mom had slightly moved from her sleeping position, turning to face the back end of the sofa. You waited for what felt like minutes, before you heard small snoring, affirmation to continue your illicit activity. Negan’s hip bucking ever so slightly, making his cock go further down your throat, you released him with a small pop, the gathered salvia making a bridge from his throbbing tip to your lips. Negan pulled you up, placing a sloppy kiss on your neck, regaining your position back on his thighs. “Shit doll, seeing you down there with a mouthful of my cock, fuck.” Negan mumbled against your neck, pulling your dress up and over your head, your arms reaching up to help.

Negan’s lips moved from your neck to the tops of your breasts, placing kisses while roughly grabbing them. The sensation alone causing you to feel tingles running through your body, he expertly unhooked the back of your bra, your breasts now free. He bit at your left nipple, sucking it slowly afterwards, his hands wandering from your breasts to your panties, pulling them to the side, exposing your pussy to the slight cold of the room. Goosebumps trailed down your arms and legs at the new feeling, the tip of his cock brushing against your clit. “You ready doll?” You enthusiastically moaned, grabbing the base of his cock to position it at your opening before slowly moving down, filling you inch by inch. You let out a moan at the fullness you felt, Negan’s hand coming up to grab your throat with slight pressure. “Fuck doll, those pretty noises are going to get us caught. You fit me like a fucking glove, so fucking tight.” Letting out a heavy sigh, Negan started to to move his hips, sliding in and out of you with slow strokes, filling you up even more.

Your hands met his shoulders again to steady yourself, your nails digging into them, a caught breath in your throat as the pressure on your neck got stronger. You met Negan’s thrusts, building in speed, strokes now hard and fast. “Shit baby, how’d you think your mother would feel if she woke up and saw you bouncing on daddy’s dick, huh?” You whimpered, the taboo nature of the whole situation caused you to grip your walls harder around his cock. “She’d be so upset daddy but you feel so fucking good inside me.”

“Damn right I do, doll.” You let out small breathless sighs, “Aw, is it too much for you to handle baby girl? Can’t take daddy’s dick as well as you’d like?” He taunted you as he thrust deeper into you. “No, I can handle it daddy. Fuck, you make me feel so fucking good!” You were getting so close, his cock coming into contact with your cervix it felt like. No one had ever made you feel this way, you thought you had died and gone to heaven. Negan could feel you clenching around his cock, knowing your release was close, he took his hand off your throat and began rubbing small, hard circles on your sensitive clit. You shallowly moaned and whimpered out, chanting daddy softly, your breath getting faster and shorter. “Go on baby, cum all over daddy’s dick.” You let your body go, your orgasm washing over your body, seeing stars behind your eyes. Body going limp, shaking as you rode out your high, the couch underneath you getting soaked with your juices, some coating Negan’s hand that was still playing with your clit.

The feeling of your orgasm caused a domino effect, Negan groaning as he came to climax as well, you felt the hot cum coating your walls, pulling out to finish, the last strips coating your lower abdomen. His fingers entered your mouth, tasting your release on your tongue, reigniting the fire you felt in your stomach.

You copied his motion, swiping the cum that settled on your naval, sucking off your fingers, the salty taste mixing with the aftertaste of yourself. Negan smirked, watching you intensely as your fingers came out of your mouth with a slight pop. A satisfied smile on your face, as you let your body flop down next to him, your mother still in deep sleep on the couch across the room. “Doll, I’m going to fucking miss you being gone, shit! We need to do that again sometime.” You giggled, bringing Negan into a kiss that showed him you felt the exact same.

[gnabnahc-143]

Stuck with you | B.C

Pairing: Bang Chan x reader

Summary: 4 times people were convinced you and chan were in love + 1 time you finally realized why

Genre: 4+1, best friends to lovers, indenial motherfucker, high school AU, just fluff really

wc: 5.8k (the way this is the longest fic I’ve ever written, not my fault I love Chan)

Song suggestions: Sick of you - Suriel Hess

Note: pretend Minho and Chan are the same age😅. Also this is me trying to delay posting chapter 2 of the way I loved you.

BONUS | skz reaction to you two finally getting together

1.

God you fucking hated math. It’s funny you chose to take the hardest math class offered, funny how you transferred from a class way easier, getting way better grades, claiming to love the subject and wanting to be challenged, all because of a boy.

Bang Chan had been your best friend for a little over 3 years in your junior year and you felt yourselves drift a part as you chose classes far different from each other, to better suit the paths each of you were going to take. Spending most of your time with him online or the passing times in the hallway when you encounter the other as he spent most breaks with his own set of friends, the boys you grew fond of, whilst you spent it with your girls. Transferring became an option when you realized your math grades were outstanding, having a natural gift for it albeit your hatred, and your friends started questioning why you hadn’t chosen a harder class. When you brought it up, he had eagerly begged you, being in that very class, he wanted to spend more time with you.

Being utterly weak (and whipped) for him, you relented, figuring it couldn’t be that much harder as the class you were in was only a level easier, oh how wrong you were. Now in your senior year you sat in the corner table of the math class, away from the chaos of your gifted peers carelessly chatting, clutching your hair in confusion.

“I can’t believe they have time to talk, I’m actually going to fail this class” your friend Lisa, a girl you got closer to after transferring, had said as she sat in the table in front of you. The class was built so that each table could only fit one person, and you two had always chosen to sit on the tables in the corner end of the classroom, finding it better to focus that way.

“I know, I’m pretty sure the shit we’re learning is university level” you groaned, releasing the grasp on your hair as you leaned back into your chair. She laughed and agreed, you two fell into a light conversation whilst continuing to focus on studying, eyes trained precisely on the piece of paper that you were sure would haunt your dreams from now on. You noticed she had gone quiet and you turned ahead to see why.

“Need any help?” Speak of the devil that had put you in the very situation that had you miserable. He was smiling at you, amused at the way you had your eyebrows furrowed almost permanently. You turned to glare at your best friend, rolling your eyes, “I don’t know how you convinced me to transfer” you pouted. He giggled as he pulled up a chair next to you, squeezing his way into the table, frowning you turned to him, confused to why he had opted to join your struggles instead of joining his chattering friends. Chris was, to put it lightly, a genius, so he had no reason to join your misery parade yet he did like many times before. You were friends with the people in your class, but you preferred to stay away from the chaos, indulging in your introverted nature. Chan, although an extrovert, always seemed to join you instead of the crowd which confused you but you never questioned it, instead welcoming his company.

“I wouldn’t have supported it if I didn’t know how smart you were, maybe you’re just making it harder than it needs to be” he said in sympathy, continuing on to explain the shortcuts you could take to solve the exact equation that were filled with scribbles of your past attempts. In the end you noticed he was right (or maybe he had a gift of making you memorize and analyze any of his words) as now you had easily finished all the equations given…and in record time.

“See, wasn’t that hard was it?” He teased, patting your head proudly. You rolled your eyes but smiled nonetheless at the caring boy, glad you had him next to you. From then on you two had continued into a conversation, laughing at his attempts to joke, and opting to stay with each other instead of joining the group. By the time the bell had rung, you both were in the midst of a very competitive online chess game (which both of you were a completely novice at).

“Guess we have to end the game” he said with a shining smile, you laughed at his glee, claiming he was only happy as he was clearly losing whilst he laughed in response. He went back to his table to pack his bags, while you chuckled, shaking your head fondly at your dimpled best friend.

Your next class was English which you had also shared with Lisa, turning to her, you were about to ask if she was ready to go when you saw her smirking at you, lifting her eyebrows. “Finally back to earth?” She asked, laughing at your confusion. “I swear you guys are in love” she said, you blushed at the statement, jumping to deny her. Her laughs increased at your refusal shaking her head as she packed her things.

“What do you mean by that, I swear you guys always say it but I really don’t understand why” chuckling in disbelief you’d stated. Her laughter came to a halt, now looking at you in disbelief, finally realizing you were genuinely confused. “You’re joking right?” She said, halting her actions “think about it y/n, you guys are closer than normal friends, he looks at you differently to everyone else, he even acts differently around you. The minute any of you are in each others presence it’s like everyone else doesn’t exist, you guys get into your own worlds, in your own conversations” she pointed out, listing to what you thought were nonsense.

“He’s friends with a bunch of girls, mr popular remember? He’s like that with everyone, that’s why people love him, he makes them feel special” you rebutted, spluttering against your words. “Do you feel special?” She countered, asking. You stayed silent but truly the answer was predictable, he truly made everyone feel like they meant something. “Just think about it, he’s friends with me too, I know how he is with girls, he isn’t like how he is with you. Plus in the hour of our class, he never once looked or spoken to me, it’s always like that whenever you’re in the room, he won’t talk to anyone else or pay attention to them.” At that she ended the topic, you tried to brush it off as you both left the class and fell into mindless small talk but the lingering thought of her words stayed still in the corner of your mind.

2.

“Have you decided where you’re gonna go for uni?” Chan asked as you both sat on the school field, under a tree watching his friends play football like their life depended on it. On any other day you two would part ways during lunch, spending time with each others respective friend groups, but today he’d ask you to join him. In his seasonal clingy nature, claiming he’d barely spent time with you lately.

“You know I’ve always wanted to go overseas, see a different part of the world” you replied, being truthful as you never thought of staying in Korea. University always seemed like your chance of a getaway car, leaving your life left behind, leaving parts of your self you hated behind, memories of past regrets. Recently though you’ve come to realize maybe your past would never leave you and that the only thing you could do was accept that you’ve grown, accept that you’ve changed, these epiphanies coming to light with the aid of your dimpled best friend.

Speaking of which you’ve notice have become silent as you uttered your thoughts, simply lost in thought, keeping his eyes trained on his friends. “If I do, don’t miss me too much yeah” you teased, trying to break the tense atmosphere. He snapped his eyes towards yours, a small smile broke on his face as he rolled his eyes, ruffling your head in the process. He adjusted your positions to lie his head on your lap, as you started stroking his black locks.

Truthfully he was the only thing holding you down, the idea of leaving not being phased by even your friends as they too had ideas of leaving to different countries to study, so really there was no reason for you to, no reason except him. You knew Chris would stay in Korea, having dreams of producing music with his friends, studying it’s art and working freelance until he eventually gets signed (which you knew would happen considering his talent).

“I will miss you” He said, his sad expression coming back, your eyes softening at the look. Although your friendship was always playful, filled with laughter and teasing, he also never held back his affections. It was clear to everyone he loved you, whether that was as a friend or lover was the debate, he spoiled you as his best friend and you reciprocated. There were even days where you cherished each others company so much that all you did was lay on his bed on your phone in silence as he worked on songs on his desk, simply cause he wanted you to be there.

You frowned, continuing your ministrations on his hair after a soft pat to his cheek. “Come on, I haven’t left yet let’s not be all sentimental” you chuckled “hell I haven’t even decided if I am gonna leave, all is still on the fence”. He chuckled nodding, an ounce of hope bringing a blinding smile to his face, his eyes forming to crescents. For the rest of the lunch you continued to talk to each other, some topics even leading to animated arguments and ending in laughter, when it came back to the topic of the future. Somehow in the midst of the conversation, you started talking about marriage, the idea of a perfect future with whoever you chose to love forever.

“Well I want one kid, maybe a son if I got to choose but of course I’d love them all the same if it was a daughter. I’d spoil the death out of them, give them everything and raising them well enough to be grateful for it, well enough to make them want to give as well. I’d have to work for it though so I’d want a husband whose job wouldn’t be as demanding as mine, maybe an artistic type? That way they could be at home whilst still focusing on their dreams, not letting it get in the way of achieving what they want” you ranted, rambling in a daze of recounting your daydreams. Unknowing of the loving fond gaze that was held in Chans gaze as he grinned at your running rambles, holding his laugh in at your enthusiasm in the topic.

As you turned to him, you mistook the fondness for amusement, blushing at the influx of words that had spilled out of you. “Sorry…” you apologized sheepishly, fiddling with your ear. “It’s just something I’ve always thought of to be honest, a perfect ending you know” you continued, trying to save yourself from looking like a crazed planner. He laughed and nodded, assuring you that he too has thought about it like every other person. As you asked him what he thought of, he drifted off in thought, trying to gather all his daydreams. Before he could continue, the boys had joined you, sitting down next to you both…well more like collapsing onto you both.

“Who the hell suggested to play on the hottest day of the year” you heard Jisung complain as he was lying starfish next to Chan. You both looked at each other and laughed at the dramatic mess of boys amongst you, forgetting your past conversation and involving them in a new one. You were again oblivious to the occasional stares and smiles to you gifted by the boy who unknowingly to even yourself caught your heart.

When lunch came to a close, you left with Minho, who unexpectedly became one of the closest friends you’ve gained from Chan, only second to the boy himself, as both of you were heading to home EC.

“Sooo what were you and Chris talking about” the cat-like boy teased whilst wiggling his eyebrows, as you wondered the implication of his question.

“Just our hopes for the future, why?” You asked.

“I don’t know he looked pretty…whipped if you know what I mean” again smirking knowingly at you, whilst you were still stumped to the looks given. You explained the conversation in detail, knowing the nosy boy wouldn’t accept any less. As you went into a ramble on how you had detailed your ideal type to Chris, you saw realization crawl into his face as he muttered an “ahh…”, nodding in confirmation. You looked at him in question, wondering what he discovered to confirm his suspicions of Chan being so called “whipped”.

“God you guys are meant to be or something” he said, chuckling in disbelief still holding the same knowing smirk (one you used to be consistently annoyed by before getting used to it). He shook his head as the confusion has yet to leave your face, ever the menace, he pinched your ear in response. Rolling your eyes you realized this is another one of your friends agenda to insist the romantic love between you and Chris, your conversation with Lisa still plaguing your mind. “Don’t look at me like that, in a few months we’ll be able to say we told you so. With the rate you two are going it might actually be a few years” he said, whispering the last sentence to himself.

Chuckling you decide against arguing as you both had arrived to the class, before it could start however he turned to you “just do me a favor and ask him his ideal future when you see him yeah” he said, ending the conversation as you added the interaction to a collection of thoughts you’d stored in the back of your mind, where many moments revolving Chris was safely repeated. You wondered how you were ever going to concentrate on school as this section of your brain had gotten increasingly big, sometimes even taking the forefront of your mind.

3.

You were concerned, very fucking concerned. On any other day, you wouldn’t bat an eye at the fact that you hadn’t spent time with Chan in a long time (which to you two was only a couple days). That being said, you couldn’t help but grow suspicious when the boys had come to you in confusion as they realized that they too had not seen the eldest of the group in days. At first you brushed it off, as it had been the seniors break before the exams, you blamed his silence on spending time with the family or studying for the finals. Though as you saw him continue his swimming practices in a concentrated face, in silence and away from his usual peers, your concern grew. The only reason you had come to campus was to spend the day studying at the library, hoping to catch some of your teachers for help, but that plan was completely abandoned as you saw your best friend sit quietly by the pool.

“Never took you as a loner” you said as you approached him, smiling in comfort as you noticed his frustrations. He smiled back but you knew it was forced, you had known the guy for almost 5 years at this point and when you say that there was little you could hide from each other, it was not an exaggeration. Being almost tied to the hip for the first 2 years of knowing each other, over the years you grew to read him extremely well, and vice versa.

Silence overtook the two of you as you waited for him to open up, him knowing you caught on to his facade. “What if I don’t make it?” He started “I’ve done everything to make my parents proud, medals from the swim team, good grades, hard classes. I did all of it to make them proud because I know that when I graduate, it will be long until I’ll be able to do that. I’m not gonna be a successful producer from the get-go, I know that, so what if I’m wasting all of this? Making them proud and leaving them with disappointment just to see it was for nothing” continuing into a rant. You looked at him in sympathy, rubbing his back as you saw tears well up in his eyes.

“Chris look at me” you said, wiping his tearful cheeks as he turned to you. “You are the most selfless person I know, you gave up your childhood to be the best student I know, took in a group of juniors and sophomores for no reason just to help and now they’re also some of the smartest people I know. Look you are so fucking talented, you’ve been making music since you could talk, I think your parents have known for a long time what you wanted to do and considering I’ve had long talks with them about our futures, they have no doubts in you, trust me they’ll be happy no matter the path you take. Be selfish Chris for once in your life, you won’t regret it, because at the end of the day, no matter how smart I know you are, you could never do an office job” you rambled, ending the rant with a slight tease to bring a smile to his face and successfully doing so.

“And when you inevitably become a big shot producer, because I know how talented you are and so I know you will, I’ll be cheering you on the sidelines in MY boring old office job as your biggest fan. No pressure though CB97.” You continued, teasing him lightly again with an alias you knew he’d started going by as he finally started publishing his music. After a moment of silence and exchanging grins, he thanked you, putting his arm around your shoulder.

“Ew you’re still wet” you said, scrunching your face but not leaving his embrace, the sour look on your face quickly disappearing as you heard his laugh. After a moment of small talk, both of you parted as he had to go to the showers whilst you had to continue your initial plans of studying, all whilst the grins on both of your faces had yet to leave your face and would continue to be etched on for the rest of the day.

Days after, Minho told you that Chris had gone back to replying to texts, seeming to slowly go back to normal, but he had also still avoided plans to hangout with them. This confused you as Minhos text had also been accompanied with a text from Chris to hang out, either way you were happy to spend time with the boy and eagerly accepted.

Now you sat in the movie theater with him, excitedly waiting for the new Deadpool sequel to start. As the ads and trailers played you fell into a comfortable conversation, not once mentioning his absence and break down, knowing it would be a sore subject for quite some time.

“I would think the boys would want to see this with you” you said. He looked as if he was caught, starting to scratch his neck nervously. “I don’t know, I didn’t think this was their thing” he replied stuttering, you knew he was hiding something but decided to brush it off. Remembering your conversation with Minho, you decided to subtly drift into a conversation about the future, you were successful in doing so as he often got lost into a trance of passion when talking about music.

“I love children but I don’t think I could handle many to be honest. I love my parents but with how busy they are and how busy I was trying to make them proud, I never got to spend much time with them, so I’d want a house with a studio so I could still work late without going home late. That way I could spend a lot of time with my family without compromising my work you know, I don’t think I could ever give up music. In terms of my wife, I don’t really care what they work as, as long as they’re happy, but I do have a thing for ambition so I’d say as long as they’re dedicated to whatever path they choose I’d love them all the same, whether it’s working a big corporate job or a loving mother and housewife.” He rambled, going into the same daze you had been just a month before on the field.

You were overwhelmed with fondness at the caring nature of the boy, gazing at him with a feeling you’d never noticed had always wrapped your heart when looking at him until now. You were still oblivious to the feelings (nor the realization of the similarities in your futures, bless your heart), but you had an inkling that the emotions clouding your head and heart for your best friend wouldn’t leave any time soon.

“Aww Channie, who knew you could be such a sweetheart” you teased, hoping to calm the erratic beating in your chest as you pinched his cheek. The conversation flowed comfortably after that as you both fell into the dynamic you both knew and loved, occasionally laughing until your stomach’s hurt, throwing popcorns into each others mouth to try and pass time before the movie starts, oblivious to the knowing looks and smiles from strangers amongst you.

Before the movie had started you felt your phone vibrate, seeing you had received a text from the boy who had left you in that conversation in the first place.

Minho 🐰😈: have you heard from Chan? Is he okay?

You: why don’t you ask him yourself…

Minho 🐰😈: I have a reputation to uphold

You: okay tsundere

You: [insert image of you two in the movie theater]

Minho 🐰😈: are you guys watching the new Deadpool movie together?!?

Minho 🐰😈: He promised to watch that with us. Bros before hoes my ass😒

Minho 🐰😈: And you say he isn’t in love with you, yeah right

Rolling your eyes, you decided to leave the boy on read. Too many thoughts plaguing you mind to answer, even as the movie began to play.

You tried to ignore the erratic beating in your chest that had never resided. Tried to ignore the way his gaze would pierce into your face occasionally throughout the movie when he thought you wouldn’t notice. Tried to ignore the way his hands felt on your face as he jokingly fed you a piece of popcorn. Tried to ignore the similarities in the way you saw your futures. Most importantly, tried to ignore how he had basically gone M.I.A for days but decided to hang out with you first amongst all his friends, even though they had promised to watch the movie together after seeing the first. But you couldn’t.

You didn’t want to seem delusional, as he, again, always had a way of making people feel special. God did you feel special.

4.

You didn’t know why you were crying.

For a couple months, you and Yeonjun had been talking. You liked him, he was funny, smart, handsome, and you two had been friends beforehand so it all never seemed forced. You knew a part of why you had sought out a romantic interest was to distract yourself from an ongoing dilema plaguing your mind for months, but you weren’t ready to confront that. Everything with Yeonjun was nice, fun, casual. So it shouldn’t be surprising when he decided to end your situationship abruptly for a more serious relationship with another girl, shouldn’t be surprised that he so quickly moved on with a lovesick smile to the girl next to him. More shocking than anything was the way you found yourself crying in your best friends arms, infiltrating his home suddenly, jumping on his bed to cuddle him for comfort.

You felt guilty for intruding, especially as you felt a slight drift between you two as of recently (not realizing it had started the minute you had begun to talk to Yeonjun). Though your guilt disappeared as you felt him hold you tighter, running his hands through your hair, and whispering comforting words and shushes to help calm your cries. As he heard hiccups replace your sobs, he slightly pulled away gently, just enough to wipe your tears whilst still keeping you close. Fixing the hair on your face in the process, holding your face as if you’d break, looking at you in concern. “If you’re not ready to tell me what’s making you cry like this, it’s okay, but just know you can trust me yeah” he said, his patient and caring nature pulling at your heart strings, making you pull away from his hold just to tuck your face back into his neck.

“I don’t even know why I’m crying, I didn’t even like him that much” you muttered, more to yourself than him, shifting your body to talk more comfortably but still lying your head on his shoulder as you laid next to him instead of on top of him. He used his arm around you to continue running his hand through your hair, you knew friends shouldn’t be this close but you also weren’t ready to face that. “Yeonjun?” He’d asked, your head still tucked in his neck, you couldn’t see the heavy furrow of his eyebrows.

“Yeah…he uhh he’s with another girl now, they’re serious, even though he told me he never wanted anything serious. To be fair to him, I told him the same, but it hurts cause in a way I was waiting for him you know, I would’ve never said I didn’t want anything serious if he didn’t. Now knowing that he only didn’t want something serious with me…” you drifted off, you now knew your cries weren’t for the boy you simply held an attraction to, but for the insecurity you had felt as he chose someone else. “I just…am I not good enough? I’m always the girl before you know, before you find the one, there’s always that one girl. I’m always saying I’m not ready for a relationship but it’s because no one seeks me for a serious one, it’s always flings, friends, nothing more. I’m never gonna be first choice, always the one people settle for cause they don’t want something permanent or until they find something permanent.”

Feeling tears crawl back into your eyes, you chuckled bitterly. “God I’m pathetic” you said, playing with your fingers to will the tears back in.

“Of course you’re not, you deserve to feel sad about this, deserve to feel these emotions y/n. Look this may not be much coming from me but you’re enough, you’re more than enough, anyone would be lucky to have you” Chan said softly in reply. You shook your head chuckling, “you have to say that, you’re my best friend” you pointed out, arching an eyebrow as you faced him.

You saw his face grow serious at your attempt to brush his compliment off. “I’m serious y/n, remember when you told me I’m the most selfless person you know, I think that’s wrong, cause for me that’s you. You don’t see how amazing you are but I do, the boys do, your friends do, and anyone in their right mind would know how lucky they are to just have the chance to know you. That girl is great, sure, maybe Yeonjun will end up happily with her, but the greatness of a person is not the absence of your own.” he said, not once breaking the stare on your eyes. “And if I’m being honest, I’d choose you over her any day, because after knowing you for 5 years, I know how lucky I am to even have you as a friend” he continued.

His words had rendered you speechless, not knowing the boy in front of you had felt so strongly about your friendship (god you were so far deep indenial). “Thanks Chris” you smiled tearfully at the words, he pulled you impossibly closer, tucking your head back into his shoulder. He spent the day trying to cheer you up, watching movies on his bed, and even showing you some of his tracks he knew you’d been looking forward to hearing.

It’s been a few days since that night, you had made peace with the fact that you were just not the one for Yeonjun, no longer wasting tears on the boy. You saw him approaching you cautiously as you closed your locker, smiling at him in reassurance as you held no grudges, after all you were friends before everything.

“Hey…” he started off, still looking nervous. You replied with a “hi” and a smile of encouragement, trying to emit comfort as you truly held no bad blood against him. “I just…I wanted to say sorry” he continued looking guiltily at the floor, you shook your head in reply earnestly trying to convince him that he had nothing to be sorry for. “No no, I do owe you an apology, I was an ass for leading you on. I know we agreed for nothing serious but I mean I wouldn’t like it if a girl I was talking to suddenly dropped me for another, no matter how casual it was, especially if she were to leave for something serious even after saying she didn’t want it.” He said.

“It’s okay, really.” You chuckled, smiling at him in understanding, “Yeah at first it didn’t feel so good but again nothing serious, you and her seem happy”. He smiled in relief, chuckling at a thought, “can I be honest with you?”. You looked at him quizzically “shoot. We were friends before anything, you can trust me” you said. He took a moment to form his words, taking a deep breath before chuckling again.

“A part of why I never wanted something serious with you wasn’t because you weren’t great, hell your reaction to this whole thing reminded me how amazing you are” he continued to chuckle, shaking his head. “Your understanding, caring, patient, got a heart of gold. Though I knew you were never mine, and never going to be mine.”

Your confusion wasn’t resolved, if anything the furrow on your eyebrows seemed to deepen. “What?” You uttered softly, silently asking for an explanation. “After how many years, you two have still not figured it out huh? Maybe it’s not my place to spell it out for you but if we’re being honest, I’ve always known you were in love with Chan. Even as I started to talk to you, you know romantically, I tried to ignore the fact that I knew, thought maybe over the weeks of getting to know you that maybe I was wrong, maybe everyone was wrong. Hell I really wanted everyone to be wrong at one point” he explained scoffing.

“I was going to tell you that you’d find a guy who makes you feel the way I feel for her but I think deep in your heart, you know you already have. Friends don’t look at each other the way you two do y/n” he ended. You had gone silent, thinking over his words, thinking over the moments you’ve had with Chan, thinking over the feelings you had long buried. He smiled knowingly, silently celebrating the fact that someone’s words have finally gotten to you, and the fact that it was his made him feel victorious. “Think about it, ‘you’ll never know what you have until it’s gone’” he quoted, leaving you to think.

5.

Days of these thoughts turned into weeks, now you lied on Chans bed as he worked on his desk. In his eyes you looked as if you were on your phone scrolling mindlessly, you were on your phone but you weren’t mindless, far from it. The same conversation with Yeonjun were repeating in your head, mixed with conversations with Minho, conversations with Lisa. As the scrolling of your phone was through pictures you had curated over the years of you and Chan, on the several hangouts you’ve had, just the two of you, and you smiled at the endless memories.

You knew you loved him, you knew for weeks now, even knowing your love for him didn’t just span those few weeks but rather a few years.

“Chan…” you called out to him, knowing he heard you as he, as a force of habit, always left one ear open from his headphones. He hummed, quickly pausing his work to turn to you quizzically. You stared at him full of emotions, searched his face as best as you can with the distance between you. He tilted his head as you stayed silent, muttering a nervous “what” accompanied by a giggle which left you looking at him in endearment.

“I love you” you confessed, it wasn’t rare for you to say it, being best friends, but the intention behind your words were now different. You knew he knew it was different. That he knew what you meant. That he knew you finally realized. For a moment he was frozen, all his pent up emotions coming to surface, once it reached, a blinding grin you’ve yet to see until this moment was planted on his face. The dimpled and crescent eyed grin, implanting one of your own on your face. “Finally.” was all he said before making his way quickly to jump on you, collapsing his body on top of you, pulling away to leave kisses all over your face muttering I love you’s after every peck as you giggled at his affection.

“Took you long enough” he teased as he momentarily stopped his eager pecking. You laughed in response, “shut up” you muttered before pulling him into a kiss. You both knew you didn’t need to talk anymore, knew you both were it for each other, knew that starting this moment, there wouldn’t be anyone else. Though it didn’t stop you from uttering one last sentence, “you know this does mean you’re stuck with me right”, wanting a confirmation that this was serious, your past insecurities getting to you. “Please baby, if you weren’t so god damn oblivious you’d have been mine a long time ago. Whether you like it or not, I’ve been stuck with you for a long time” he teased, leaning in to kiss you again.

You no longer felt bad for never being the first choice, because really, for you, every man has always been second to Chris.

Me projecting my failed friends to lovers arc to all of my stories LOL

[moonshynecybin]

The current motogp grid is put into the hunger games who is winning?

so easily marc it is NOT even funny.... as babynflames has said if he got trapped in a situation where he needed to lop off a limb and it wouldnt effect his riding he'd get that done instantly np. he is insane he loves winning he EASILY compartmentalizes his other competitors as obstacles that he will shove aside in REAL LIFE let alone fictional hunger games world. hes taking it i fear. but he WILL come out the other side deeply scared both mentally and physically... maybe he DOES have to lop off his arm and they give him a prosthetic but sometimes it aches at night and he shivers...

anyways yaoi alert below the cut for those interested:

its the all-victor QUARTER QUELL where shit gets saucy in my opinion! vale as a fellow mentor... a well-liked victor that marc idolized as a kid who's been paraded around like a pony ever since... known for how fun (read: not fun comma scarring) his games were (vale was like 17 fuck ass bob big neon yellow tribute uniform internally screaming desperately playing to the cameras to survive. maybe won by doing equal parts looney tunes style pranks and his absolute ruthless efficiency with a blade.)

so him and marc see each other once a year for a few weeks around the games (similar to motogp they DO have to continually revisit the places they were most traumatized every year huh) and start a lil smth... gravitate towards each other when theyre both trapped in the capitol... wake up in each others beds most mornings and share looks across tables when the capitol socialites start soliloquizing... but they know cant do any more than that bc theyre in different districts (also: trauma.) so they keep it as casual as they can, even if marc's breath catches in his chest sometimes when vale looks at him, and when vale wakes up at home its with an arm reaching over the place in his bed he knows marc should be... and the capitol maybe doesnt know theyre fucking but IS certainly selling the friendship between two of its most popular victors to the cameras HARD... it is known that they tend to chat. it has been noted that they giggle. the panopticon has noticed the marc-being-a-weirdo-in-press-conferences stare.

anyways so the quell hits and marc gets reaped along with vale (who has been quietly supporting rebellious activity for years... gathering strength and numbers.... talking to the other aliens... using his icon status to sway the districts... ) and vale KNOWS the capitol will use marc against him. knows that they know he cares about him. knows that theyre doing this to get rid of them both—keep him in line. (actually in this scenario maybe marc pulled a katniss berry move to keep both him and alex alive. accidental revolutionary icon lol) and keeping marc close will only make the capitol try even harder to kill him which he cant STAND. and all marc knows is that suddenly vale pulls away hard, cold and abrupt. starts talking madddd shit about him in all of his interviews and press... and marc thinks vale is doing it to hype himself up to kill him in the arena and it KILLS him... he thought he was in tragic star crossed love... but he also keeps trying to convince himself he can bring himself to do the same when the time comes, even if it feels like a hole in his chest.... he has to get back to alex. so its awfullllllll until they get in the arena and (INSERT CATCHING FIRE PLOT WHERE THEY BUST TF OUTTA THERE...) and when marc wakes up, blinking and pale and groggy and without his prosthetic, vale is holding his hand by his bedside. and in a low, hoarse voice he starts to explain....

[hexagon-club]

I’ve been thinking about your reblog where you stated that “there's something about the way gendies argue where I can't help but get the feeling that they don't even comprehend opposing views” and especially the line “they understand so little of how other people think that they don't even understand that they don't understand how others think.” 

I remember arguing with a TRA and explaining to her that I wholly supported womens (ie., females) right to be as masculine and gender-non-conforming as they wanted. Somehow we started arguing about this TIM who has a full-on beard and basically makes no effort to convey that he wishes to be perceived as a woman. I said that I wouldn’t want someone like that in women’s spaces, and the TRA I was arguing with said, “It’s funny how you talk about her beard, and then parade around like you don’t care if women are masculine.” Like, she really thought my issue was that the TIM we were arguing about was masculine, not that he was male. She couldn’t even conceptualize the idea that I did not view him as a woman. 

I think TRAs are such a unique category of people with delusional beliefs, because every other group of people with delusional beliefs at least has the language and vocabulary to articulate what they think (religious people, conspiracy theorists, etc). They can at least demonstrate a degree of reasoning behind their thoughts, no matter how flawed that reasoning may be. TRAs don’t even have that—they don’t even pretend to. It’s just circular definitions and the assertion that their internal feelings change material reality. I’m so dismayed that this ideology which is not grounded in linguistics, science, reason, material reality, or anything else has gained the popularity that it has.

I wanted to ask you what you think will become of the trans movement in the next five to ten years? Do you think we will continue to descend more and more into unreason? Do you think radfems will become more appealing in the process? I would love to know your thoughts. 

I think you're on to something. Other belief systems, even ones that are considered to be absurd by the general public, have a consistent internal vocabulary based on words that have a very clear meaning among the group members. Often they will use words in a way that is different to the way people outside the group would use them, cults love jargon after all, but they can generally communicate quite clearly with each other. If not with outsiders.

One of the many things that makes arguing with TRAs difficult is that they are not even on the same page as each other, there's the trutrans/transtrender divide, but even among the "transtrenders" which have become the mainstream of the trans movement their beliefs seem weirdly inconsistent. One of them will try to make a point, I'll debunk it, and then another will accuse me of attacking a strawman and insist that no trans person believes the thing I just debunked. They can't even clearly communicate their beliefs to each other, so they're not on the same page. But in a weird sort of way this is a strength not a weakness, because it means we're constantly trying to hit a moving target, can't really debunk an ideology if the ideology is so inconsistent no one can agree on what it even is.

On that note I just realised something, so I don't know how aware you are of this, I only learned about this after the fact, but there was something of a war on tumblr in the early 2010s between the two wings of the trans movement. The trutrans/transmedicalists represent what was essentially the mainstream of the transgender movement in the 2000s, their philosophy is essentially that being trans is something akin to a chronic illness. One that can be treated through transition, but not cured. This is in contrast to the more modern wave of TRAs who think of "gender" something more like a form of self expression. The trutrans were actually some of the earliest critics of tumblr identities and mogai stuff, because they saw that as making light of (what they believed to be) their legitimate medical disorder.

Anyway, my point is that I don't think the current mainstream of the trans community even have a word for themselves. The trutrans people call them tucutes and transtrenders. But they don't seem to have a word that refers exclusively to themselves, but not to the trutrans. That's weird, they don't even have the language to acknowledge that they are a subfaction of a larger ideology.

As to your last paragraph, I really don't know where we go from here, it's amazing that the trans movement has gotten as far as it has given how ideologically incoherent it is. But it is incredibly profitable, gender affirming care is big business, and plastic surgeons and drug companies aren't going to want to leave money on the table by letting it become less accessible. Incidentally I think this is one of the reasons why other trans identities (transrace, transage, transabled, otherkin) are never going to catch on, they are much harder to monetise, so there's no point marketing them.

The left seems to have decided this is the hill they want to die on. They seem to view gender as a sort of individual freedom. And think that people not acknowledging it is the same thing as trying to force people into rigidly defined gender roles. Like, in their minds, if they hear me say something like "non-binary is nonsense" they equate that to me saying "all women need to become stay at home housewives who wear high heels and dresses." Because they equate the word "woman" to the feminine gender role, and don't even really understand the concept of it as a purely biological classification. Even though that's what they basically all believed 15 years ago.

If the current trans position becomes untenable I think there will probably be a retreat to the "trutrans" identity. People like Blair White, Marcus Dibbs, and Buck Angel are hated by a lot of the mainstream trans community, but they are actually helping them out by preparing a fallback position for when mainstream society gets sick of their shit. I think people will mostly tolerate that, not that I think "trutrans" makes any more sense than the current position, but it's less evangelical and overall less annoying than what they currently preach. Also, quite frankly I think there are a lot of men (left wing and right wing) who are sick of TRA nonsense, but are also deeply antifeminist, and who will want to keep transgender ideology alive because they can use it against feminists.

I'm thinking of this meme I got from Sargon of Akkad's twitter account:

So there's a group of men who know that transgender ideology is nonsense, but still get a certain sadistic pleasure at seeing it get used against women.

I'm not really sure if things are going to get more irrational from here. Both the left and the right seem to be getting more and more unhinged, the left has chosen transgender/queer ideology as its cult of choice, whereas the right has QAnon and it's weird offshoots. It does seem like we are entering an era of unreality where people are giving up on the concept of a shared objective truth and are retreating into fantasy.

That's a depressing note to end on, sorry if I rambled a bit.

[bloofinntoona]

Polyjuice Shenanigans: Part I

Word Count: 1.5 k

Themes: fluff, kinda funny me thinks, sebastian sallowxf!reader, garreth weasleyxominis gaunt

Summary: sebastian and garreth drank a potion that made them swap bodies - chaos ensues.

A/N: A little cheat sheet so it's not confusing: if I put single quotation mark on a character, it means they are acting in their swapped body. For example: 'Sebastian' means Garreth in Seb's body, vice versa - hope it makes sense!

If Sebastian Sallow had to confess his true feelings, he would easily agree that Garreth Weasley was one of his closest friends in Hogwarts. He didn't go around the school parading his friendship with the redhead though, both of them are known to be absolute troublemakers, so it would be wise to hide their friendship from the professors' prying eyes. It started from a mutually beneficial trade, Sebastian stole a book from the restricted section for an extra mandrake root from Garreth. From then on, they began to exchange knowledge about potions and spells, with casual banters here and there. 

"Psst... Over here, Sallow!" Sebastian looked over his shoulder, spotting a friendly face hiding behind a huge pillar in the Transfiguration Courtyard. Garreth pointed to an empty storage room, motioning Sebastian to follow him. Sebastian rolled his eyes at the mischievous grin Garreth had plastered across his face. He knew that meant trouble.

"This better be worth my time." Sebastian joined the Gryffindor student in the small space, coughing as the dust clogged his nose. 

"Oh, I bet it will!" Garreth beamed, producing two vials filled with glowing blue liquid, "I will cut to the chase, I made a potion that lets people hear others' thoughts. Telepathy, if you will!"

Sebastian furrowed his brows, taking a close look at the suspicious potions, "Okay, and where do I fit in this?"

"Ah, my dear friend Sebastian, you know that telepathy involves two people?" Garreth wiggled his eyebrows, pushing a vial into Sebastian's chest.

"And you want me to drink this with you to test it out?" The chestnut-haired boy took the vial, "Why would I do this?"

Garreth tapped his chin, pretending to think, "Well, remember how I got you that kneazel fur a few weeks ago? Poppy found out that I stole from the bestiary and made me clean mooncalves poop for days - thank you very much!"

Oh, Sebastian just remembered how Garreth smelled absolutely foul, and that he didn't want to ever see mooncalves for the rest of his life. He opened the vial, clinking the glass against Garreth's, who was now smiling widely, "bottoms up."

They both drank the potion at the same time. Sebastian physically gagged at how foul the taste was, perhaps a medley of wet socks and soil, "Merlin's hairy balls, what did you-" Before he could finish his sentence, Sebastian started to feel funny, his visions blurred, but he could feel his hair growing, while the muscle under his skin moved and jolted. He was familiar with this feeling, in fact, he figured that he was transforming into someone else, and the effect of a Polyjuice potion. As his vision started to clear, he almost jumped seeing an exact copy of himself in front of him, the only main difference was that 'Sebastian' was wearing a red Gryffindor robe and uniform.

An apologetic smile formed on 'Sebastian's' face, "I'm sorry?"

"Don't tell me. The base recipe was Polyjuice, wasn't it?"

'Sebastian' nodded, reaching his hand to touch 'Garreth's' cheeks. 'Garreth' slapped the hand away, "Hey, at least you look better now, Sallow." he joked.

"Ha-ha. Funny. Okay, when will this last?" 

'Sebastian' took out his notes, and then his face fell, reading a clear note that the Polyjuice potion will either last for a couple of hours or even a full day. He read the excerpt out loud, eliciting a loud groan from 'Garreth'.

"It will be fine, Sebastian! We finished classes for today. All we need to do is just sleep it off, and I bet we will be alright tomorrow. Just don't get caught." There you have the typical Gryffindor's positivity on display.

'Garreth' nodded, it might not be so terrible after all. And then it dawned on him, he promised Y/N, his girlfriend, to study together for their N.E.W.Ts tonight. He had been pining for the new fifth year for a year and finally mustered the courage to confess his feelings in the middle of the sixth year. Y/N was probably one of the best things that happened to Sebastian after the series of unfortunate events in his life, and in turn, he was very possessive of the girl. It ranged from public displays of affection, and the daggers he shot from his eyes whenever another male student had the decency to flirt with his girlfriend. And with the current situation, Weasley, in his body, would be the one snogging Y/N tonight.

"I promised Y/N to study together tonight..." 'Garreth' muttered under his breath, 'Sebastian' caught that, face now pale with thoughts about being buried six feet deep if he dared to lay a single finger on the girl.

"Sebastian, I promised I will not inappropriately touch Y/N. You have my word, as a Gryffindor, and as a friend." 'Sebastian' tapped 'Garreth's' shoulder. 

The two boys emerged from the dingy storage room in their proper attire, after swapping their uniforms hastily. 'Garreth' swept his hair back in annoyance, writing a mental note that he would not grow his hair this long, every part of his face itching. "Act normal." he heard the other boy whisper, trailing him from behind.

"Sure. Let me just harass younger students for potion ingredients." 

'Sebastian' rolled his eyes, "Okay, then I'll just go ahead and brood with my book. What do you read anyways? Erotica?"

As 'Garreth' was about to inflict some sort of pain on the fake Slytherin student, he spotted Y/N in the corner of his eyes, striding towards them.

"Darling-" He immediately covered his mouth, his eyes motioned 'Sebastian' to greet her.

"Ah, my beautiful girlfriend, the butter to my beer, what can I do for you?" 'Sebastian' held his hand to hug Y/N, but he quickly retracted his limbs when 'Garreth's' burning gaze pierced through him. 

Y/N stared at her boyfriend, furrowing her brows at the boy's unusual behavior, "Alright, then." She snaked her arms around his, clinging onto what she thought was Sebastian. 'Garreth' gritted his teeth in annoyance, but he, fortunately, had enough self-control to continue the charade. 

"If you boys are done, I'll steal Sebastian." Y/N chuckled, "he promised to teach me Transfiguration. Merlin, help me I think I'm failing the class."

"I think you're amazing, and you'll definitely ace the class." 'Garreth' muttered with a smile, before panic set in his eyes, realizing that he currently was in a different body.

Y/N was visibly taken aback, 'Sebastian' felt her body tensing, he also knew that if they were in a normal situation, real Sebastian would have chewed him off for flirting with his lover. "Ah, uh," he eyed the fake Garreth in front of him, "Let's get out of here, Y/N!" 'Sebastian' dragged Y/N away from 'Garreth', "Also, remember, Garreth, Leander is waiting for you in the common room!"

'Garreth' whipped his head back, letting out an exasperated groan, Great, he was stuck with Leander while Garreth got to have fun with Y/N. He dragged his feet to Gryffindor's common room, muttering every single cuss known to mankind. 

"Where are we going again?" 'Sebastian' stopped in his tracks, realizing that he dragged off Y/N aimlessly, totally forgetting to ask the real Sebastian where the lovebirds were planning to study. 

"Sebastian, you're acting weird today. Are you sick?" Y/N put her palm against her supposed boyfriend's forehead.

"I'm fine, truly," the cogs started to turn in his brain, thinking of a viable excuse of his understandably odd behavior, "I think the classes today were a bit overwhelming, to be quite honest."

"Makes sense. Professor Bin's class is the worst, I think even Amit fell asleep earlier," she laughed, "Let's just go back to the dorm. I'll ask Ominis to brew one of his posh tea bags."

Hearing Ominis' name, 'Sebastian's' face turned into a light shade of pink. There was a lot to account for being in Sebastian's body, but Garreth completely forgot that he was able to be closer to a certain Slytherin boy he had been harboring a crush for.

At the first glance, one would assume Ominis Gaunt to be an arrogant boy who enjoyed slandering people. Yet the more you knew Ominis, you'd realize that he was a kind soul, genuinely cared for his friends, and his jokes (especially about people that he disliked) were beyond hilarious. It was during one of Sharp's classes, that particular day, they were having a test to brew a vial of Invisibility potion. Garreth was a bright boy, but due to his constant "additions" to his potions, he totally blanked. Although he didn't utter a single word, he felt a nudge on his elbow. The redhead looked at Ominis, who was stationed next to him, the Slytherin leaned in, whispering "By the ghastly smell of your potion, I bet you forgot to add some dittany leaves." Garreth nodded, proceeding with his assignment, actually completing it without any explosions - even Professor Sharp was surprised that Garreth actually didn't mess up.

"Thanks for the help, Ominis, I never thought I would get one from you." Garreth caught the Slytherin after class.

"Weasley, I could sense your panic from miles away. And I'm not looking forward to having my brows burned away from your explosions," he smirked. With that, Garreth felt a lump on his chest that he never felt before. 

Oh dear, this situation has proven to be more difficult than he thought.

A/N: had so much fun writing this! Def will continue this when I have the time soon. :D

[naradivision]

Hypmic OC Halloween Party 2023 🎃 ~Part II

Disclaimer: Please note that these are not the actual titles to the songs, I just made them up of course. All these songs obviously belong to their respective artists.

And the OCs mentioned belong to their respective creators as well!

*see more notes from the part 1*

Meet the Halloween Shuffle Teams!

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Team R-rated B-Boy

Ren “Vox” Nakashima

Rintaro “Ignis” Himuro

Raiden “Tesla” Otoha

Ryuko “Mista Z.B.” Umemoto

#7 Parade of Horror ☠️

Real title: Bad Monster Original by UraShimaSakataSen Fun fact: This Shima is that same SHIMA who voiced Zen Gaho from paralive...

Team Heroic Youngsta

Joey “Joker” Kurusu

Saji “Street Dog” Buranka

Ryūnosuke “Fist N Fury” Sekiguchi

Haruto “Pheonix” Hirabayashi

#8 Justice In Action! 🚨

Real title: PANDA HERO Covered by mafumafu x nqrse x luz x soraru | Original by HACHI ft. GUMI Fun fact: HACHI the Vocaloid-P is later known as Kenshi Yonezu

Team SolaLune Fairies

Lola “Aphrodite” Takahashi

Evelyn “SPIRIT” Rose

Moriko “Carnopus” Himawari

Miku “Hex 13” Shirazuki

#9 Who’s the Fairest? 👑

Real title: ECLIPSE Original by Raon x DAZBEE Yeah, sorry again for not making the number of voice casts matched... They just look gorgeous together XD

Team Pop★Teen Sensation

Kanade “Spooky” Alarie

Criss “Paradox” Hiromi

Kirara “Cupid” Suzuki

Ririko “2cute!” Akihara

Makina “Screen Shot” Setsukura

#10 Supa☆Supa☆Halloween

Real title: Happy Halloween Covered by MORE MORE JUMP! ft. Kagamine Rin | Original by Junky ft. Kagamine Rin

[At the moment after the girls have already returned to the backstage, suddenly, the thick and hazy mist from nowhere then emerged into the stage from all directions, fogging over the entire scene as if it was curtain in the theater]

Greetings, ladies and gentlemen,

Welcome to the wonderful night of October the 31st,

...At long last, we’re going to reach the finale.

[Starting off with the sound of bells resonating in distants, the prelude music began playing before the hazy mist became dissolved —revealing the obscure figures of people standing there in the midst of stage]

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Team Curtain Call

Queen card

Kunio “Arsene” Kurome

Iwao “TRIXT4R” Masuda

Sanyu “MC Rogue” Inouye

Naoki “Stage Queen” Hamasaki

Mitsuru “Odette” Tenjo

Saigo “Tsukumogami” Fuyugami

Nishio “24/7” Tokishou

#11 To the Final Act 🪄

Real title: Finale Original by XYZ 2019 (luz, senra, mafumafu, soraru, nqrse, meychan, araki, un:c)

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Wait— Wait,

Even if this night is going to end soon, how should we forget something really really important…?

Yeah, we haven’t even got our treats yet!

If you want them, then why don’t we go get some?

C’mon, stand up & sing along~~

Team Bakemono:)

Asahi “SWEET-T” Tomoharu

Kohaku “KANDATA-KUN” Meguno

Taria “Misfit” Chinen

Honoka “Maniakin” Ajisai

Ayaka “Marionette” Kagawa

After Story: Are Ghosts Real?

Real title: 異世界混合大舞踏会 (I Wanna Be Your Ghost) Covered by StarLightPolaris (You Kisaragi, Relu, Coe, Kuni, Kottaro)  | Original by Gen Hoshino Unfortunately, you can only find subtitles in the original video

In this night where ghosts will emerge,

But they’re not all that bad

Ghost are real, you know? 

But they’re not as scary as the living!

They’re always watching from the sidelines, so don’t you forget,

Farewell mortals, and take care :P

🎃 Live Reports & Behind the scenes Pt.2

According to the interview from some audiences after the reveal of 6th’s and 7th’s cast, they thought it’s funny that team Bad Boy felt oddly cool to them, while on the other hand, team Hero were also cool but with even more chaotic vibes than the previous one —Everyone did wonder in unison that what went through the organizer’s head when they decided to put them together. Well, Raiden and Saji were the only exceptions since both of them were naturally pretty dedicated to their team titles.

Raiden got a bit carried away as he started laughing like some maniac by the end of his show. And in consequence of that, his temporary teammates were just… letting him be before all left the scene like nothing happened.

Since the beginning of the 9th show, the ladies of team “SolaLune Fairies” were seen solemnly walking out of the backstage with a dark long veil covering most part of their face and their outfits. Each of them were also noted to hold a bouquet with different flowers. Lola were red tulips, Evelyn were blue roses, Moriko were sunflowers, and Miku were moon orchids. But once the first beat of the song dropped out, they suddenly changed their moods and threw their veils away ...showing off their party dresses which were delicately designed just for each of them (ultimate kudos were given to those from the costume team). Thus, the true catwalk showdown began! 

After all the teasing to throw their bouquets to the audience like in the wedding, it was still unknown who those ladies decide to give their bouquets to at the end. Maybe it was their lover/ bestie or etc. Who knows anyway? But as the show title hinted, they might probably give it to their fairest…

Before the 10th show starts, the camera caught Kanade having a high-five with Lola in the same fashion as those two boys from the first half. 

Despite not being much active around these days, Hana Izanami (@snowmantita) was spotted coming here in secret to cheer for her friends.

The 11th show was obviously one of the best highlights of this event, given 6 of them were actually the famed performers to begin with! In addition, Queen card was the one who planned most details of the performance herself. Besides, some of them were really going all-out to the point where they attempted to compete with each other even. No wonder this show received very loud applause as a result, just like their team’s name implied.

There was one funny moment getting leaked out from the backstage. It was the photo of two gentlemen who literally had no idea why they were put in the same line with other talented showmen in the 11th show. Saigo seemed to be deep in thought about how much the staff have spent on props and special effects, while Nishio… He was caught flirting with other participants —Well, let’s hope that he wasn’t flirting with the wrong person there.

Despite the chill and anti-climax vibe that was very contrast to the intense impression from the previous show, the final show performed by team Bakemono was unexpectedly the children’s most favorite! Why was that? The secret of success not only lied in the lyrics of the song, but also its cute and catchy choreography. Moreover, they had also brought in the massive number of candies to throw into the crowd.

And due to some interviews with the parents, they told that this show truly deserved to be the closing show as it was in fact spoke the moral of this spooky event… 

Before the show started, it was a record of five of them chatting with each other. And although it was all according to the script, Asahi confessed that they had retaken it so many rounds he actually lost count of.

And just as the name of their team indicated, they were all wearing the yokāi costumes! For example, Asahi was the Oni, Kohaku was attempting to look like Kasa-obake (even if it came out rather funny), Taria was Karasu tengu, Honoka had animal ears so maybe she was bakeneko or kitsune, and Ayaka wore triangle headband with a kimono to represent the yurēi ghost.

From what live reports said, despite being the performers of the show, both Asahi & Kohaku were noted to really enjoy their time the most —These two spiritual(?) twins loved throwing candies like they’re playing with snow, while Honoka and Ayaka might seem a bit stiff due to their not so great experiences with people. However, Taria was the one making them warm up and enjoy the moment just like other children did —Who else would understand the kids best if not someone with a children’s heart?

Live reports by

Snowflake Sentinel News, Yoichi Shujo

Verne Publishing-house, Nellie Yukimura 

◀︎ SEE THE RECORD FROM PT. 1

Amazing OCs mentioned above are from:

@kobedivision @katsushika-division @chiyoda-division2 @suginami-division @kanazawa-division @megurodivision @naha-division @nagasakidivision @saitama-division @okinawa-division @gion-division @minato-division03 @kyoto-division @akihabaradivision @urayasu-division @nakanodivision @akihabara-division03 @kumamoto-division @sapporo-division @fukuokadivision1 @naha-division @nerima-division @naradivision @echizen-division @ota-division @gion-division @sagadivision @tokyo-division (@snowmantita) @hamamatsu-divison

P.S. Apologizing if I missed out some divisions or have made anyone sound OOC —I'm trying lmao.

...Happy Halloween & hoping y’all enjoy it :)

[daigina-3]

Passing Notes (In Secrecy)

Chapter 2: I think he likes you

In 7th grade, Steve Harrington likes a girl for the first time. Outwardly, he likes girls when it’s convenient. When it gets his friends off his back, when it makes him looks cool.

This new girl at Hawkins Middle, though? The one with the curly brown hair and dimples and flannels that are too big for her? Steve doesn’t like her to be cool or whatever; she’s just for Steve.

But then the new girl Steve likes isn’t actually a new girl at all.

*

When the bus is out of sight, Eddie walks fast. The gravel crunches under his high tops and his messenger bag thumps against his hip uncomfortably but he only walks faster; starts a slow jog past rows of trailers down to where his uncle (and he, now) lives, towards the end. The bag, heavy with textbooks, is banging against his hip hard enough that it might bruise but he doesn’t care.

He counts the rows as he goes, just like he did all summer and since school started. He knows where the turn is, now, knows he won’t get it wrong but the counting is a habit and Eddie feels calmer for it.

One, two, three with the broken flower pot on the corner, four- turn.

They’d let Eddie finish out seventh grade in his old town- placed him with a foster family for the last two months. He’d spent his nights in some rich family’s house in a plain bedroom made for what was probably a never-ending parade of kids just like him: kids whose parents were in jail or dead or somewhere on the streets with a bottle of beer in their hands instead of with their kid.

He spent a miserable two months, walking around the school halls where everyone stared and whispered and sometimes just asked him outright- why’s your dad in jail, did he kill someone?- only to come back to the fancy big house where he was being kept, with an old couple who probably thought he was poor and gross and weird, and locked himself in that beige room with the tan bed sheets and the white walls with generic posters that said shit like be thankful for every day and hang in there.

The day the social worker had dropped Eddie off at his uncle’s trailer was the first day he felt like he could breath in two months.

The trailer is the same today as it was at the start of the summer when he met his Uncle Wayne; a weathered old couch outside, lawn trimmed neatly every other week, and the screen door that creaks too much.

Steve’s note burns in his hand and when he’s finally outside the front door, breathing heavy, he has the sudden image of Uncle Wayne seeing the note and- even if he would never demand to read it- somehow just seeing it feels like Wayne’ll know exactly what it says.

He shoves it in his pocket and throws open the creaky metal screen door. It slams into the outside wall as he rushes inside and Wayne gives a half-hearted “hey, now, easy!” from the lay-z-boy recliner in the corner.

“Sorry, Wayne! Hi, Wayne- bye, Wayne!”

And then he’s alone, in his room, with a hole burning in his pocket.

Eddie tosses his bag down, the pins clinking against each other, and lets himself just fall on the bed, belly-up.

It shouldn’t feel so weird. It was just a mistake. Maybe even a funny one- a dude giving another dude a love note on accident?

It was hilarious. Right?

He takes the note, so carefully folded up, from his pocket. He smooths it out, holding it under his palms, and presses it flat against his stomach like it's going to try to escape.

Eddie stares at the ceiling, where there’s a hairline crack just above his bed. He traces the shape of it with his eyes and feels the crumpled paper under his fingertips- but doesn’t look. Looking feels damning, but he won’t think about why.

Because to be the new kid who’s poor and a little weird and bad at sports who talks too much and draws cool demons in his textbook that people don’t get- that’s one thing.

His stomach twisting at the thought of a boy giving him a love note on the bus.. that’s another thing. A thing you don’t come back from.

He traces the crack again, counts the number of times he follows the line down and back up again. One, two, three…

He thinks about Steve. He seemed nice. Not just nice like ‘oh, he’s nice.’ But nice like his smile was real. Nice like kids usually aren’t to him- he gets fake smiles and nervous smiles and mean, teasing smiles, but he’s only seen a handful of nice smiles at Hawkins.

He thinks they could be friends.

A picture pops into his head, of him and Steve hanging out at school. Just walking down the hallway, chatting. Smiling. Shouldering past crowds of other kids.

But then the other kids turn, looking at them. They stare at Steve and Eddie and make silent eye contact that turns into whispers, like they know something they shouldn’t just by looking. Like they have x-ray vision and can see right into Eddie’s core.

Something twists in his stomach and he just can’t get that picture out of his head: that as soon as someone sees him and Steve, they’ll see something, know something that Eddie doesn’t. Something scary.

*

He’s nervous on the bus in the morning. Walking past the kids chatting, listening to music, doing last minute homework. Eddie takes his usual seat in the very back, lets out a slow breath when no one even glances his way.

He sees Steve in the hall. Eddie’s on his way to the hall with most of the eighth grade classrooms and Steve the opposite way, towards the seventh grade ones.

Steve’s head is down, eyes trained on some assignment in his hand. And Eddie is just about to look away when Steve glances up, catching Eddie’s eye. He does a double take and smiles when he sees who it is, who Eddie is. It’s a nice smile.

Eddie gives a tiny wave, unclenches his fingers where they’re holding his messenger bag on his shoulder and wiggles them. A short butterfly wave. But it’s enough that Steve’s smile widens just a little, confirmation that he saw Eddie’s wave.

No one turns to point and laugh. No one yells out hey look at that girly freak, no one even notices; half a second and they’re past each other, going their separate ways.

But Steve’s smile stays with Eddie, fluttering around in his stomach.

Maybe everything would be okay.

*

Everything was not okay.

*

“Hey, Eddie,” Carol walks by him while he’s picking at his lunch. She stops like something just crossed her mind, leaning on the table with one hand. “I have something to tell you.”

Eddie looks up- Carol’s only spoken to him a handful of times in class and the hall and twice was to ask if he got his flannel shirt from Goodwill like it was funny. The other times weren’t any better. He wonders if it’s easier to run. “Uh, yeah?”

“See that guy over there?” She points to Tommy, a semi-familiar face. He’s definitely close enough to hear them, just at the next table over.

She’s waiting for him to reply, and he gives her a slow and suspicious “.. yes.”

“Well- he thinks you’re *really cute*,” her big eyes blink, her tone feigning innocence in that way- that way that says everything without saying *anything.* “He told me that he wants to ask you out.”

Immediately Tommy throws his head back in laughter, his mouth still half full of meatloaf- the guys on either side of him elbow him and give big roaring *ohhh-hos* and Eddie is frozen.

Carol leans closer, her smile twisted. Eddie doesn’t know what she wants him to say. He doesn’t know what he SHOULD say. He wants to run away, he wants to lash out and push her off the table, watch her fall.

He screws up his face and grumbles “shut up.” That’s all he can muster staring down these other kids with a mean look in their eyes. He wishes he could come up with anything else, something cool that will make Carol stunned and sorry and make her go away- but all he can say is “shut up.”

Carol’s eyebrows go up, the picture of innocence. “What? I’m just trying to help you out- he said he thought you were really hot-“

Tommy yells- half laughter half disgust- something about not being a homo but he’s drowned out by the jeers of the others at his table.

“- but maybe he’s not good enough for you,” Carol continues, like she’s wondering aloud to herself. “Do y’hear that Tommy? You’re not Munson’s type. Maybe he’s into guys like Steve-“

Eddie bristles, his face hot with embarrassment. More people a few tables away are looking, turning in their seats and smirking as Carol and the boys make a big show. They don’t even have to say it for everyone including Eddie to know exactly what they’re really laughing at.

Eddie. Eddie the queer, Eddie the gross kid, Eddie the joke. It’s a joke that anyone would want to ask him out. Of course he must be into guys because he’s wrong, something screams wrong about him to anyone with eyes and not only is it gross but it’s Eddie, so it’s fucking hilarious and gross and a joke.

He doesn’t see Steve but he knows this has to be his fault. He started it, he’s the one who gave Eddie that note. That probably was a joke. Try to catch the little girly kid to say he likes guys, because obviously he’s weird and poor and must be queer with that hair- and Steve told everyone and now-

He’s not going to cry in front of these fucking assholes.

“Go away,” Eddie slams his hands and pushes himself away from the table, standing up. The boys across the way ooooh even more.

“Someone’s mad,” one of them smirks.

“She was just trying to be nice, Munson-“

He leaves his tray, shouldering his backpack and booking it out of the lunchroom. He stomps his way down hall after hall, ends up in the bathroom in the old part of the building, the one he knows no one goes in and some of the eighth graders smoke in after school. He slams the last stall door behind him and drops his bag, kicking it into the corner, hopping onto the toilet.

He doesn’t want to cry. He knows crying means they win, they got to him, but his throat feels tight and his lips quiver just a little and before he knows it his head is in between his legs and his vision is blurry with warm tears.

They drop onto his shoes- the new converse high tops his uncle bought him, a present for starting at a new school in a new town and a new home and a new guardian. And now he’s curled up in the bathroom getting his stupid tears all over them.

He skips Math and English, waiting for the red blotches to clear off his cheeks and picking at peeling paint on the wall.

*

When Eddie gets home, his uncle’s on the phone with the office. He can hear his quiet ‘mm-hmm’s, and ‘no, I wasn’t aware- well, the kid’s been goin’ through- I’m sure-‘ as Eddie throws his bag on the floor and beelines for the bathroom. He slams the door behind him and twists the lock for good measure- the lock is only the kind that stops the handle from turning, and the door is old so it doesn’t even really do that. But still, Eddie needs to be alone; would barricade himself in the bathroom if he could.

He rummages under the sink, tossing spare toilet paper and cleaner to the ground until he pulls his uncle’s beard clipper out, clutched in his fist like a weapon.

“Your hair’s real pretty,” Steve had smiled at him on the bus just the day before. Eddie thought that smile had been real; that he was nice.

Eddie was fucking stupid.

He flicks the switch and feels the clippers buzz to life in his hand. His reflection stares back at him, brows low, mouth set- angry angry angry, the anger buzzes in him like the clippers in his hand- he tightens his lips into a thin line, keeping the tears at bay.

The first pass is right down the middle of his head. It feels too easy, like it should get tangled in his hair but it doesn’t. It cuts through it easily, almost too easily. He doesn’t know why, but he expected it to hurt. He almost wishes it did.

The hair starts falling all over his shoulders and the floor, and Eddie doesn’t break eye contact with himself the entire time. You should have known, he tells himself silently. This is your fault. And he passes the clippers again, and again, and now his hair is uneven and messy and several different lengths- but it’s not long anymore. It’s not girly hair. And if he’s lucky, maybe no one will recognize him tomorrow. Maybe they’ll all be stunned into silence. Maybe he can just blend into the background and never be seen again- never be the center of the cafeteria’s attention again.

He wants to disappear, wants to slip down the drain just like his hair.

*

He stays in the bathroom until Wayne bangs on the door like he’s going to break it down. Eddie unlocks it and expects his uncle to yell, to make Eddie clean it up or something.

Wayne sighs when he sees Eddie’s head, the mess of uneven choppy hair. He gestures for Eddie to step out and surveys the damage- hair in the sink, on the counter, the floor, the toilet.

“Get the broom and dust pan, willya?”

He gets it without saying anything and stands there, holding open an empty Walmart bag as Wayne sweeps up the clippings and throws them away.

They’re halfway through when Wayne asks.

“Any particular reason for this? I could have taken you to a barber, ya know.”

He shrugs, his jaw tight. “Dunno. Don’t like my hair. It’s girly.”

Wayne nods.

When they finish, he calls a barber and makes an appointment for tomorrow, Friday at 11AM.

“I have school then,” he mentions when Wayne hangs up.

Wayne only shrugs. “Can’t have you goin’ to school like that. Plus one day of hooky never hurt nobody.”

He could cry. He won’t have to go to school tomorrow, or the day after, or the day after. Three whole days.

He wraps his arms around Wayne’s middle and squeezes tight, a thank you and a sorry.

*

Eddie Munson walks into Hawkins Middle Monday morning with a fresh buzz cut and a permanent scowl. He slaps away any curious hands that reach out to feel his peach-fuzz scalp and takes no shit. He takes so little shit, in fact, that one passing period he gets himself and Tommy Hagan in trouble with the principal. Eddie gets the harsher punishment, of course, even though it was Tommy who kept trying to pinch the skin at the nape of Eddie’s neck and calling him names; when the principal asks what names Tommy called him, Eddie stays silent. Fuck Tommy and fuck the principal who was never on his side, anyway.

He gets detention- his first detention at Hawkins- and sits next to a girl with long black hair and behind a boy with a cropped afro.

They ask Eddie his name- they’ve seen him around, of course- and the girl shows Eddie her sketch book that she was doodling in during 8th grade geometry class, which is what landed her there. Once is a reprimand, but twenty-six times is grounds for detention, she says. Eddie thinks her doodles are cool and says the teachers just hate fun. He wishes he was in geometry instead of algebra.

The boy explains he skipped 7th grade gym too many times because he didn’t like being in the changing room and the PE teacher gave him detention. Eddie knows the feeling.

They smile. Their smiles are nice.

It takes two detentions before Eddie asks if they know what Dungeons and Dragons is- Amy, the girl, does but she’s never played. Jeff doesn’t know it at all, but he likes the sound of dragons and gnomes. They both agree to come over to Eddie’s trailer and read through a dungeon master book he checked out from the library that week.

Steve stays at the table with Carol and Tommy- but Eddie takes to having lunch on the opposite end with Amy, Jeff, and a few other kids. Sometimes he catches Steve looking- during passing period or at lunch. Eddie never has a smile for him.

They don’t talk again. And that’s just fine.

[penname-artist]

Reymund Valentinas Brainrot

My brain currently fixated on this child again this morning and I want to fact-dump some more while he STILL doesn't have a debut fic, unlike his brother. >:(

-If you've ever wanted to get a clearer picture of the kind of life and relationships Apollo and Rey had, not just as siblings but in relation to their parents, just look at all of the flashbacks that Tahani has of her sister and herself in The Good Place. Envision that as Apollo. You'll see why he's always at ends with Rey.

-Reymund went through interesting phases through his childhood. Yes, he did have his major emo phase that Apollo checked out of, and that did have a hand in his music taste, but remember that he was also a stupidly affluent kid growing up, and everything he was into had to have a sense of tastefulness to it the likes a good aesthetic should have. What I'm saying is that his emo phase was less about grunge and more about marrying victorian goth to a Renessaince Depression.

-Since his breaking away from home and going full musical career, Rey's done some pretty impressive stuff for what was essentially a kid. Among those things was break out of a lot of previously daunting 'norms' of a successful musical artist, including the themes that reached his songs, which were almost exclusively never directly about romantic love.

-Ironically - and discovered completely by accident - Reymund and Jackson Storm are the same age, both born in the year 1991. Though, Rey is still quite a bit younger, given he was born on December 4th.

-When the name "Reyzor C" became big in the music industry, a lot of people were of course wondering what the C was there to stand for. They could make the connection of Reymund to Reyzor, but his last name was Valentinas; where's the C? Well it comes out of his middle name, Christian. Yup, his name is Reymund Christian Valentinas.

-He has aquired more music-note tattoos over the years in various locations along his body (or paint, depending on the style you use). However, most all of them are tiny, aside from his one main tattoo featured on his left outer thigh (or in the WoC, his left flank)

-You can tell the age of the albums he's created based on the length of his hair; when he started out, he had a very short asymmetrical cut going on. Over the years though, the left side of his hair has continuously been left to grow longer.

-Tell NOBODY that his nosering was inspired by Apollo getting a tongue piercing. He wanted one too and just didn't want to be called out for copying, so he just chose a piercing on a different part of the body and called it a day.

-Although Rey identifies securely as a cis male, his fashion sense is nigh short of Harry Styles levels of gender-fuckery. Heels? 100%. Flowing floral tops? You know it. Jewelry? Absolutely, the more the merrier. So long as it fits that aesthetic they're trying to capture, Reymund has enjoyed wearing a whole myriad of different styles.

-A lot of his more recent anxiety problems have been spiked further not just from the constant pressure to write specific genres of songs, but also because of the recent retirement of his absolute favorite makeup artist who's walked him through the mass majority of his weariness. Saga - who you might remember from here - has been a pillar in his career and personal life, and though she's no longer working now, they've remained in touch. (Funny how that circle comes around, ain't it?)

-Few times have Rey and Apollo actually seen eye-to-eye on matters, but when they do, it's a very heartwarming sibling moment. One of the most notable was Rey's first Pride Parade experience. He was really anxious the majority of the time, so Apollo (who'd gone with him for the sake of nerves) tried to comfort him in what ways he could, and ice cream seemed like a good bet. Vegan, of course, though. He knows his preferences. (side note I added the "I forgot about posting this for Pride until it was long after the month of Pride" comic strip OF this occurance)

-Ironically, you can almost always tell when they're standing next to each other that Apollo and Rey are siblings. They're the same height, the same hair color and usually same style, they're both thin and lanky, pale-skinned, their eye color is pretty close to one another (Rey's a little more green and Apollo's a little more hazel) and even a lot of their speaking tone and mannerisms are strikingly similar. It's a shame they've clashed so much over their lives, they could make an awesome duo business together.

M'kay that's my brainrot for now, danke for listening in because my God I wanna get this poor child off the ground and into a fic, and it's IN the process of being written, I'm just working on like 40+ WiPs again as per usual. But enjoy nonetheless!

[heartshapedbubble]

Hello! if u can, can i request some hcs for William and Luchino (Surv) with a s/o that looks scary and intimidating but in reality they're a big softie? ty <3

ofc!! so happy that my first x reader post/req is with luchi and will, i love them both sm - here you go<3

william ellis and luchino diruse with a S/O that looks intimidating but they're actually a softie🏈🦎

william ellis🏈

tbh william was pretty intimidated by you when you first joined

yeah he might be buff and strong and all but he's still a bit of a scaredy cat, okay?

he'll try his best to not make you mad or annoyed - he'll just avoid getting in your way

it's kinda funny seeing him run directly into eldritch gods with no second thought but you being someone that he's too scared to even approach lmao

during matches he has this urge to show off more than usual so you could think he's worthy and not just a pest in your way

however, one time he gets appointed to decode the last cipher with you - he's kinda hesitant...

...but once he starts chatting you, it was like his worries vanished into thin air! he didn't expect that you're actually a softie at all

he's extremely honest so he immediately confesses to you about how he used to avoid you out of fear and it makes you laugh

now that he realized he has a fluffball beside him he can give you bear hugs and carry you around all he wants >:))))

if you guys have extra time during matches since someone else is decoding he'll carry you to the gate and parade around with you, he just LOOOVES pda okay

will constantly offer you to wear his clothes! he really wants you to wear his old black bunny onesie so you two can match

he's an avid user of puppy eyes™ when you're too busy to cuddle and honestly you really can't say no to him lol - nor can he when you do them!

will let you nap on him during games or in general if you're burned out. he makes for a great human pillow tbh,, and if you're still sleeping after the match ends he's going to carry you bridal style to your bed and tuck you in (and give you one of his plushies hehe)

if you're busy in your room he'll *slightly* open the door to give you snacks and a cute post-it note taped to the packaging

give him a little kiss while running after he does a good balloon rescue!! he's going to melt

overall you've found yourself the perfect partner<3

luchino diruse🦎

he immediately notices your resting bitchface (IMSORRYIHADTO) and your stance so he decides to stay out of your way

he is intimidated, yes, but it takes him way more time to admit it and it's less obvious

you guys actually start talking when you visit his laboratory in the manor's cellar

you're the last person that he expected to see! he doesn't accept visits often but if it's you, then it's an exception

he thought you were about to appoint him to do something shady honestly😭but after he realizes you're just here to have a friendly chat he puts his guard down

he certainly did NOT expect your personality to be that upbeat and sweet, but hey, who's he to complain?

as a partner, luchino is less upbeat and energetic as william but he is incredibly caring

you two can ramble for hours with no end! he's a great person to have a conversation with

he loves when you lay your head on his chest and run your fingers through his hair it makes his brain short circuit </3

^ you swear you can hear him purring (he does.) when you do that but he'll deny it every time

not a big fan of pda but once you're in either his or your room you won't be able to get him off of you

prefers to be the big spoon and put his head onto your shoulder while caressing your arm, but he's not opposed to being the little spoon either! as long as you're with him

calls you various pet names in italian (tesoro, cuore mio, gioia mia...) >:)) wholesome bastard #2 also this man has a gorgeous voice wow you could listen to him laugh for DAYS

likes seeing (and making) you flustered! it's secretly his favourite thing to do lmao

adores when you visit him in his laboratory with a cup of coffee or tea to chat or just compliment him on his work - does the same to you! always visits you before you go to sleep to help tuck you in and give you a goodnight kiss

he might not be the most energetic partner out there but he's one beautiful soul <3

[krakenbait]

bragging rights bracket update #3

good eeeevening, bracketeers (just imagine that in like a classic movie vaguely-eastern-european vampire voice)

i've been slacking on the round one updates, so let me get this in before we finish up the first round tonight with the winner of dallas vs. vegas. side note, does anyone else think it's weird that round 2 (rangers vs. canes) is already starting when round 1 has yet to finish?

anyway, brief recap before we get to the commentary (yes, i'm stalling. being funny is hard work!) in the west, the canucks and oilers won, setting up an all-canadian second round match that i'm sure the bros up north are just salivating over. or perhaps not, since their beloved leafs got knocked out in a nail-biting game 7 overtime by the bruins (sorry not sorry leafs fans, i was actively rooting against you).

comments & roasts under the cut as always!

76 points

abeja's bracket - 76 trombones led the big parade...

72 points

win for quinn ( @morganfrost) - ...with 110 cornets right behind

cause chaos ( @andreisvechnikov) - don't look at the score on the canes game, focus on the lando norris win instead

66 points

t-birds for the win ( @shea-theodore) - you are on perilous ground my friend.

63 points

Le $$ Beans ( @stromesquad) - they say less (beans) is more!

59 points

homer like the iliad (me) - i picked the preds over the canucks for shits and giggles and got burned.

56 points

Been Bragging ( @natashastarkk) - point and laugh, kids. point and laugh.

eldest daughter w ( @puck--off) - whose pain and sadness will win the series, connor mcdoodle or eldest daughter quinn hughes?

53 points

amelidek's bracket 1 (ki) - who packed your bags? carrot top packed my bags!

brack that et ( @nastybastian) - you picked the stars over the knights, let's see if your western conference stays perfect

kindanerdy's bracket - you have the lowest possible points for a non-busted bracket, wonder what's going on... right, you picked the bolts to the cup final.

46 points

Pizza Rats (aokayinspace) - we are just going to casually ignore that the rangers are winning as i write this because i don't like it

please happen. ( @builthebobder) - congratulations, you're not busted yet!

43 points

hellybracket ( @arsonandhockey) - i cannot say the same for you

Rats! (aaaahwhoah) ( @circle--of--confusion) - i have to copy and paste your bracket name every time to get the scream letters right.

30 points

jt's kombucha tap ( @assistantcaptainmitchmarner)

the exploding mustard feels appropriate because the mustard yellow team you picked to win also exploded!

20 points

Do It For JEdwards ( @patron-saint-of-boston-hockey) - good news, i don't have to bring out the bruins fan stabbing-sword-photo yet!

[estradasphere]

listened to the new vacon album!!!!! (i had to make a japanese spotify account cuz it doesnt release in the US until midnight orz) my thoughts on it below, mostly copypasted from when i was liveblogging it on discord lol

HATED JOHN - regret version

i'm not sure if i like this version of hated john better than the original hmmm.... his voice is certainly more dynamic but it doesnt feel like he's used to singing like that haha. a lot of voice effects being used too. i guess it's not better or worse it's just different p: instrumental sounded identical to the original to me but i'll have to relisten, i wasnt paying much attention to it

actually, he sounded like he was influenced by symaG's cover of hated john

2. Woodpecker

2nd song is woodpecker which was the one single he dropped so ive heard it plenty before. still a banger

3. ElecTravel - choo-choo version

electravel starts with a train chugging noise lol he's going all in with the toybox album theme

otherwise sounds pretty damn close to the original so far. vocal delivery is sliiiiightly different. actually i think i like this version better

man he still has that problem where his vocals kinda get drowned out by the instrumental sometimes though

OH he added an extra verse! kinda

4. TOY CHEESE

ok first original song we havent heard before. toy cheese-- WHAT THE FUCK

ok nvm i was just thrown off by the sample at the beginning. this is fun

…this literally just sounds like a jingle for a toy commercial. i think that's what it's sampling

what is he dooiiiiinnngggggg i cant deny that his flow is really good though

5. モーニング・ベーコン - tee-hee version

morning bacon time!!!

yeah he's getting drowned out by the instrumental during the kinda whispery parts. i dont remember if that even happens in the original. ill definitely have to relisten to them and compare afterwards

but yeah his voice is absolutely more dynamic on the album

oh seems like he's changing up the lyrics a bit too

i think i just heard his mic peak 😭

instrumental seemed the same

6. D-D-Donuts

second new original song time

this sounds like a childrens commercial again. vacon i know how you can make boatloads of money just license this to hasbro

very catchy though…

his flow is so GOOD

7. 微熱パレイド

BINETSU PARADE YAAAYY i wonder if saegusa redid her vocals too?

sounds like she did

still whispery but sounds a little clearer to me

absolutely whimsical album this is. the silliest hiphop ive ever heard. dude just wants to rap about food and toys and have a good time i can respect that

8. Afro Man - hold tight version

AFRO MAN-- dude you're too close to the mic

how did he get Less professional. wait thats the problem. these sound like first drafts not remixes. i mean theyre still good songs but

hes getting drowned out by the instrumental again too ahhhhh like yeah his beats are really good but be more confident man

9. Xanadisco

xanadisco… is he gonna rap about drugs please rap about drugs thatd be so fucking funny

PIANO!

ohhhhhhh i really love this instrumental

WAIT THIS RULES

yep this is my favorite song on the album so far no notes

why is it called xanadisco though. its not really disco…

👏👏👏

10. Be-li-va Voyager

another new original now

THIS IS ALSO REALLY GOOD!! why did he save his best songs for the latter half of the album

just say what you waaaant cmoonn~~~

i love the occasional turntable scratch he throws in there lol

11. Love my JANE - repaired version

love my jane… sounds identical to the original so far except the guitar is a little louder?

yeah it sounds like he didnt even rerecord the vocals he just remastered the instrumental slightly?

oh nvm there's like 1 bar of new vocal delivery in here thats it

still a great song. he didn't really Need to do anything to it besides adjust the mixing a little. so he did not

12. RUSTY DRUM BLUES

last song. this sounds like a track from sonic spinball

oh my god it really does HAHAHAHA

not a bad thing. sonic spinball ost slaps

not sure if i like the vocal effects he's using but the delivery itself is good

ooh when most of the instruments drop out for a sec its pretty groovy actually

yeah he's almost belting now haha thats definitely not something he wouldve done like 5 years ago. good for him for working on his voice

ough... definitely sounds a little overwrought at times though

also there was a brief moment of silence and i could just baaaaarely hear him breathe that was awesome actually

fade out aaannnddd album over

[nateriverswife]

24 and 29 for fic writers asks.

24. Share a moodboard for (one of) your current WIP(s).

Going with:

24 Hours – basically, there’s this person that in 2000 decides to challenge L and gives him 24 hours to find them. Each hour they broadcast a new crime. Funny thing, which is immediately known so it’s not a spoiler, is that they are in the same building as L, pretending to be a plumber and they plan to blow up the building with both of them inside. They are so unhinged, and I love them so much. They literally plant a bomb under the kitchen sink in L’s apt, when he’s present, cuz they have a plan B: shoot him right there. Straight to the point. They don't care about the challenge itself, but to ruin L the detective and him not doing anything gives him a bad rep.

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

Okay, this death note fic idea is a weird one. I started writing it in my italian literature class, because I was bored. I wrote just the beginning bcause the class bell rang and I forgot about it. I don't intend to continue it lmao

Basically it's a case in which are involved poems by Giovanni Pascoli, that I was studying at that time. Nothing too elaborate and I didn't get all the details down, so yeah. Under the cut, the first part of the first chapter. L was supposed to appear after this scene, pretending to just take a walk in the graveyard, as someone does (he noticed the FBI cars from his apt and wanted to know more about what was going on, and Watari wasn't around).

The relentless clicking of the heels of the young Federal Bureau of Investigation agent Jessica Parker caught the attention of most of the forensic workers. They followed her parade down the central driveway with judging eyes. They knew why she was there, since they had witnessed the heated conversation that had taken place shortly before between her and team leader Flavius Bennett on the phone, but her short white strapless dress, decorated with pinkish lace and little flowers, and her pink handbag were, apart from being unusual, not appropriate for a place like that. And they did not refer to the cemetery they had found themselves in, but to the work she had to do.

"Finally!" Bennett exclaimed as soon as he laid eyes on her.

He passed the officer he was talking to and walked over to her.

"You could have worn something else..." He commented, eyeing her from head to toe. 

"You could have not called me on my day off."

He handed her his clipboard and took off the jacket he was wearing, arranging it, then, over the girl's shoulders. He took the item back and signaled for her to follow him.

"I wouldn't have called you if it hadn't been directly addressed to you." He replied. "I'll briefly explain what happened, then, there will be Marlinson to tell you about details."

Jessica rolled her eyes and bit her lower lip, lest her disappointment at having to work with him be felt, but Flavius could sense it, nonetheless. 

[...]

They reached the crime scene but remained quite far away so as not to get in the way of the forensic team's work. Jessica was able to observe the three corpses, anyway, lying side by side and carefully arranged. There was no visible blood or signs of any injuries at first glance, but she decided not to be immediately swayed by the sight, not knowing any further information about the deaths. 

"We think it was a murder. The victim is Johanne Nelson, female, 24 years old, white, American, has no children and no boyfriend. Lives downtown on Northwest 10th Street. She attends Georgetown University, a thirteen-minute drive from her home. The car in her name is a two thousand nine BMW fifth series." He glanced quickly down the page and looked at the next one. "That's it. Any questions?"

He turned towards the woman, who was busy observing the crowd of people and her surroundings. 

"And the two bodies at her side?" She asked, pointing at the corpses. "They look like they've been dead for quite some time."

"Because they are. They are the victim's mother and father. They were pulled out of their graves and laid out like that." He took a pause as he searched through his papers for a photo. "On the gravestone, it says this." He handed it to her.

The red writing, probably done with a felt-tip pen, because there were no smudges or lighter strokes, as would have happened if blood had been used, read:

“Io vedo, vedo, vedo un camposanto,

oscura cosa nella notte oscura:

odo quel pianto della tomba, pianto

d’occhi lasciati dalla morte attenti,

pianto di cuori cui la sepoltura

lasciò, ma solo di dolor, viventi.”

"Is that a verse from a poem...?" Jessica asked, shaking her head, confused. 

"Not just any poem. It is by the Italian poet Giovanni Pascoli, who lived from the late nineteenth to the early twentieth century. It is the first poem in the collection Myricae." Flavius explained, handing her an impromptu translation of the text. 

"Day of the Dead...? I think I read it years ago."

"Exactly. It talks about Pascoli's family unity that seems to have created a new family in the cemetery, much more united than the one that existed when they were alive, and to be condemning, in some way, the survivors." 

"Are you telling me that, perhaps, it is a relative who has done this?"

"Probably. However, we asked the head of the cemetery if there are any other relatives in the area, but he said no."

"And, even if they were to be outside Washington..."

"They would have no way of having gone far, because we believe the crime took place between four and six this morning. And now, it's..." He looked at his watch. "Half past one, which doesn't explain this evening attire of yours."

"It's not evening, it's formal." She corrected him. "And that's not important, I'm here about a murder, not the death of my private life because of you." 

Flavius chuckled, but Jessica did not find it extremely hilarious. [...]

"You can always..." Flavius pointed her gaze at Marlinson's curly blonde head, intent on checking the various pieces of evidence in the bags being brought to him.

"Forget it."

"I meant to make yourself useful and not waste time. Go talk to him." He put a hand on her back. "We have a murder to solve, go." He pushed her, risking knocking her to the ground.

[vlovers19]

I dont know how up to date you are with bts and vmin these days. But it seems like vmin harfly ever spend time with each other anymore. Ever since solo era started tae has been showing more interest towards wooga. Hobi and jk are the only bts members he keeps in touch with it seems. It makes me sad to know vmin have drifted apart. I guess people chqnge with time. I mean tae didnt even post or cheer for FACE achievements. But ge was able to visit hobi's set for jitb and have multiple hangouts with jk. I dont know anymore. May be vmin soulmates was really company manufactured.

Hello. Thanks for the ask. I've definitely been keeping up with what has been happening especially with this Vmin divorce that has been trending for a while now. It is like an excuse certain people give themselves to fuel their belief that Taehyung and Jimin are not close. 

It's funny because what vmin are displaying now shouldn't come as a surprise. That's how they have always been with each other, even when they were in the group. They never had vlive done together on their own. They hardly ever talked about each other. However, take note of the times they decided to mention each other. It has to be for an important reason. Let's start with Jimin. 

Jimin really talked about Taehyung when they released their song friends and when he was telling everyone about the moon tattoo on his back. That was interesting because no one even asked him about it. Before then, everyone had their own opinion of why Jimin drew those tattoos. There was even one jikook analyser I saw who was so sure of themselves, talking about how the snake tattoo on Jk's body coincided with the tattoos on Jimin's back. But the truth was rather simple. Taehyung showed a fan art of that tattoo to Jimin. 

And when did Jimin suddenly decide to break this news to us? During the heat of Taehyung and Jennie's romance rumors. Jimin who hardly talks about Taehyung blurted out the truth about how he came to have the tattoo and he chose to do that at such a sensitive time. His strategy worked because people turned a blind eye to it and now he parades everywhere proud of that tattoo, exposing it a lot during his album promotions. Now, when one sees that tattoo on his back, what do you think of? Jk? No! We all know the answer.

Now, let's talk about Taehyung. He is just like Jimin, hardly talks about him. Always Jungkook this, Jungkook that. But note the time when he really decided to talk about Jimin. No one asked him, he simply came on vlive to complain that the PD didn't allow him to sing a (cough) gay Christmas song with Jimin because the lyrics where too romantic for two men to sing. He came on live purely to complain about that. Why? Because It was important to him. He felt the need to talk about it.

It's funny how people just wouldn't learn their lesson especially after what happened during Jhope's party. Not a single camera or video captured Jimin and Taehyung together but they captured the other members, even Jin that wasn't present for long. Based on what people saw, Haters started trolling them, just like now, spreading rumors and enjoying that the two didn't interact at all. They kept saying they are no longer friends but ate their words when the official videos and pictures came out. What happened? The two were actually together.

I started to think that perhaps people might even see them out and about but choose to ignore them like they did during Jhope's party. Leaving that aside, let's not also forget when Taehyung suffered from covid strangely enough after Jimin. During their live, RM and Suga kept asking Jimin about Taehyung's welfare. Jimin replied they video chatted each other for two hours and even did pull ups together. They are all members of the same group but why would they personally ask Jimin about Taehyung if they weren't certain that they communicate with each other. 

You talked about Taehyung not cheering for Jimin during his promotions. However, people seem to forget that he was very eager prior to his release. However, there could be a reason why he didn't really say anything about Jimin's album itself. Here's my theory. Mind you, it's my opinion. Now, I think he didn't like the songs. He seemed to be looking forward to it, even posted about how eager he was but in the end, it might have fallen short of his expectations. (Personally, I wasn't that impressed to be honest)

The album was much too raw with Jimin using rather strong language in some of the songs and somewhat exposing his orientation. Someone as blunt as Taehyung might have chosen not to say anything instead of being fake. However, we would never really know. But despite that, he was still quite supportive, liking Jimin's post of when he was on the fallon show. One can see he has no bad blood with Jimin especially when you notice his interaction with him during Jhope's send off.

As for visiting Jimin on set, I feel it all depends on a member's schedule or how they feel at that particular moment. Taehyung decided to visit Jhope during the set of his music video. What about the others? Why didn't they come at that particular time? Did they hate Jhope? Of course not. Or during Jungkook's birthday when Jimin, Jhope and Jin personally visited him at his apartment to celebrate. What about Suga and Rm? Where were they? (Taehyung couldn't come because I guess he had traveled and hadn't returned to Korea yet.)

However does this mean Suga and Rm hate Jungkook and didn't wish him well. But when it comes to Vmin, People exaggerate. It's almost like they are mocking them because it's like they claimed to be soulmates and yet are not living up to what they said but the thing is, they don't have to prove anything to anybody. They don't owe you any explanation. They have always been private and that's how it's always going to be.

As for Taehyung's interest in Wooga, he has been very vocal about his love for them even before now. Being friends with them has also boosted his career. He has done shows with them, in the soop and currently, this seojin kitchen programme. He has even collaborated with one of them, peak boy on a song. They are not just ordinary friends, they are somewhat his business partners. Anyway, Taehyung doesn't only hang out with them, he has other friends as well like park bo gum. He even posts pictures with his high school friends. However, we are only seeing all these from him because he now has his own personal social media account. Jimin has been there through all these and as we know has his own group of friends. But does it mean he doesn't hang out with his own friends even though he doesn't post pictures with them. He does only that he doesn't want to show you. However, despite all of his numerous friends, to Taehyung, Jimin is unique. He's his best friend. Okay one can argue it's fanservice but what about when Bts were filming ON music video and the little girl in the video spoke about how Taehyung introduced Jimin to her as his best friend. Or what about the time when Taehyung confessed on live TV that he likes Jimin the most. He did that on a broadcasting station where events would be organized by the stations staff and not hybe staff. If they wanted to go ahead with fan service, they wouldn't have blurred out the message Taehyung had written to Jimin but they did because it wasn't appropriate to show.

Now, Taehyung can hang out with Jungkook as much as he likes and it's still not proof of anything other than he enjoys spending time with him. But the fact that Vmin have lessened their public communication especially now more than ever is even more suspicious. Soon, they will both enlist in the military. Any unfavorable news might not spell well for them so It wouldn't be a surprise why they would want to keep things private.

After what I've mentioned above, it should be enough to convince anyone that they do communicate but I don't think they feel the need to show off. Anyway, I've said so much. I still have more to say but I will stop here. The only thing I can tell people is to be watchful and to not jump into conclusion simply based on what they see. We know nothing about their personal lives. Just as Jimin said back in 2020 about his relationship with Taehyung. As much as they would fight and argue with each other in the future, it would only make their bond stronger. With these said, have a great day and keep loving Vmin.

[notadxmbbunny]

𝗷 𝘂 𝗱 𝘆 𝗵 𝗼 𝗽 𝗽 𝘀

judy hopps is based on judy from zootopia. they are a 26 year old shapeshifter, meter attendant, and use she/they pronouns. she has the power of shifting.

penned by HARPER

reflection

face claim: jessie mei li sexuality: bisexual height: 5'3'' eye color: brown hair color: brunette piercings: septum, earlobes tattoos: n/a shifting species: a grey, holland lop rabbit

attitude

positive traits: ambitious, analytical, diplomatic, focused, flirtatious ( she IS a rabbit, after all... ;-) ), idealistic, just, observant, responsible, supportive negative traits: compulsive, confrontational, fussy, impatient, often inflexible, know-it-all, obsessive, superstitious, workaholic likes: vegetables, justice being served, having their hair played with, boxing, being right, adrenaline rushes, spring time, pop music, daily affirmations, herbal teas, true crime, warm blankets dislikes: bad guys, recklessness, getting home late, the taste of beer, eating meat, the cold, when nick is right, her meter-maid vest, loud noises, being called 'dumb', judgemental people phobias:  n/a hobbies:  gardening, hunt-a-killer crime puzzles, excessive journaling, leaving positive affirmation sticky notes in public places, boxing classes, trying to solve some of the town's mysteries, spending most of their time with nick wilde, going for jogs, making playlists for every mood she has ever felt literally ever, flirting for shameless entertainment aesthetic: the feeling of sun against your skin, wild flowers blooming in an open field, the twitch of a rabbit's nose, the smell of intensely floral perfume mixed with notes of musk, the excessive clicking of a pen, a target candle and/or decor aisle, the softest bedding you've ever felt, the crunch of an incredibly crisp carrot, a bunny thumping their foot against the ground when their angry, laughing so hard your sides ache and your gasping for breath.

relations

mother: bonnie hopps father:  stu hopps sibling(s):  uh... a lot of them. there are 280 members of the hopps family. don't ask.

headcanons

🥕 judy takes her detective work incredibly seriously, even if right now she was nothing more than a meter maid … in a town where parking was primarily free…. with only as many meters as they could count on their fingers and toes; their human ones. 🥕 judy doesn’t quite see the town the same way nick does; he sees a second opportunity, they see a bump in the road hindering them from finding the missing shifters. as much as they’re relieved that nick is finding his footing and listened to her advice about NOT going back into being a conman… judy is starting to fear that if they do ever find a way out, she’ll be returning to the city without him. 🥕 judy has a lot of rabbit-like twitches that show themselves in her human for. her nose twitches, her hearing is obnoxiously good (no, seriously, obnoxiously good…), her foot rapidly taps when she’s thinking really hard, and her sex drive— well, the quote ‘fuck like bunnies’ didn’t come out of thin air.. 🥕 shifting is a big part of who they are, but Nick’s fears are one of the only pessimistic thoughts she entertains… They don’t know the people in this town, who’s to say they can be trusted with information like that? Judy likes to be positive that the town would be receptive, but the seeds of doubt planted in her by fear have kept her from showing anyone outside of Nick thus far. 🥕 judy has a golf cart, and it’s their pride and joy. Judy always volunteers to deck it out for parades and for holidays in the town.  🥕 this ex-cop, meter-maid, underground detective has no time for funny business. the second they hear of anything sketchy going on around town, they are the first on the case. no, judy hopps isn’t a snitch, but she is not going to let the bad guys get away with being… bad guys, if they can help it. 🥕 nick wilde, through and through, is their person. whilst at first, their partnership started over an audio recording pen and the veil threat to turn him in for tax evasion, judy doesn’t know what she’d do without him. he is the only one in this town, in this life, that has ever seen them for who they are… not judging them, not doubting their abilities, but seeing their strengths. if anything were to happen to him, judy would ensure whoever was responsible was royally punished; with or without the law backing them up. 🥕 judy is a vegetarian, and whilst they try to keep their judgements regarding what other people like to eat at a minimum, especially given her best friend is a carnivore, the poor thing can’t help but wince whenever someone refers to her salads as ‘rabbit food’ or decides to order a steak at dinner. thank god alcohol is cruelty-free.

[red-elric]

can we see the iwaoi timeline :0

>:)

they met through their moms; like they just definitely have the vibe of 'our moms were friends' to me lol. lots of kids whose moms were friends are kinda whatever about each other, but i think in their case oikawa was clingy bc he strikes me as a kid who had trouble making friends, and iwaizumi has had a strong sense of duty for a LONG time so he felt the need to take care of him. they did genuinely get along as kids tho, and it grew into a really close friendship

i feel like oikawa started getting attention as a pretty boy in middle school, and it kinda inflated his ego a bit; meanwhile, iwaizumi was becoming Very Aware that most boys who are best friends dont hold hands and hug all the time..... i think they kinda drifted apart for a bit in that awkward middle school way. neither of them really wanted to, but they felt like they had to and noticed the distance the other one was creating. it culminates a bit when oikawa's mental health is going crazy over kageyama; i feel like the canon confrontation they have is the pivotal moment that brings them back together as besties again :,) especially since oikawa seems so much more grounded after that

they go into high school SOLIDLY best friends again, but not quite as touchy-feely as when they were kids still. no more calling each other first names, it's all iwachan and trashkawa lmao. they both start dating girls (oikawa much more often than iwaizumi, but the one or two relationships iwa has have a lot more depth to them than anyone oikawa dated) and they both get REALLY UPSET about the other one dating for reasons they Cannot explain. both of them had a girlfriend at the same time one (1) time in high school, leading to the most awkward double date in history and both girls dumping them within the next week aksjsjjsj. still tho, they stay tight despite the awkwardness and are fully unaware of their feelings this whole time theyre insane

i feel like iwa's realization moment is literally the night after their graduation party. theyre probably doing smth sappy like stargazing late at night bc oikawa's going to argentina soon and iwa's starting college soon after that and like. iwa has this full on crisis of 'oh shit i like him. oh shit im gay. oh shit i cant do anything about this bc he's literally moving to a different country tomorrow oh god oh fuck' meanwhile oikawas looking for aliens (and also sad bc he misses his bestie LOL)

im a freshman iwa and daichi roommate truther!!! not gonna get too deep into daichis story thats a different post but both of them are handling their 'oh wow im GAY gay' crises at the same time for a year or so. i dont see them going for each other at all but they do go to gay bars together and wake each other up in the middle of the night to rant about 'oh FUCK (random childhood story) i was gay the WHOLE TIME that was a CRUSH' aksjdjdjjdb. meanwhile oikawa thinks some of his new teammates are kinda cute!! he's starting to think hey maybe im not straight :) the full truth hasnt hit him yet

we saw oikawa get the ushijima/iwa selfie and get mad about it. we DIDNT see him scrolling through iwa's snap story showing him and ushijima attending a cali pride parade together. this is when oikawa learns that iwa might not be straight, and that iwa definitely didnt tell him, and he realizes that maybe they havent been talking much recently (of course not, theyre on opposite sides of the planet more often than not) and maybe theyre drifting apart and oh god does oikawa have ANY friends anymore did iwa and ushijima hook up oh god oh god (side note: i think itd be really funny if iwa and ushijima hooked up in cali. i dont think itd go anywhere but i think it leaves iwa with a lot of concerns aksjsjsjsbsh)

anyway this is the emotional state oikawa's in when he's visiting brazil and runs into hinata!! he latches onto him a bit bc hey, someone from home :) and flirts a bit just for fun and hinata flirts back and they DEFO hook up brazil fling ftw :) and then immediately after oikawa has a breakdown bc oh my GOD, he's in love w iwaizumi. hinata draws the line of 'were not hooking up again you cant handle this' and then makes a point to call oikawa every week bc he CLEARLY needs a friend ajsjsjjd. so now hinata is..... kinda oikawa's best friend? oikawa and iwa havent been talking less and less but theyre both sort of in love w each other? but its Weird

olympics are Very strange for both of them, bc theyre in the same space but iwaizumi spends a lot of time with the japan team and when oikawa's not w his teammates he gravitates towards hinata. i feel like the brazil fling story gets out around then too which gives iwa a Lot of feelings aksjjdjdhd

i kinda..... dont see them making much progress for a bit here, until oikawa has to retire bc his old hs knee injury starts acting up. i think he retires earlier than most of the pros in their age group, which kinda KILLS him but he's older now and a LITTLE more chill. anyway he decides to move back to japan, and the first person he decides to tell is iwa. even though they havent really talked much lately. and iwa asks him if he has a place to stay yet and he says no, not yet. and theyre both a little insane bc iwa offers to let him crash on his couch until he gets things figured out and oikawa says yes. even though they havent been best friends in years. HMMM

and they were roommates era!! oikawa spends some time wallowing but has too much energy to do so for long so he applies for some colleges! gets a degree, finally!! im partial to him getting an entomology degree bc 'the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle' KILLS me but no matter what late game academia oikawa feels good feels right. anyway they slip into being besties again RIDICULOUSLY easily, once they get past the awkward hump, and oikawa does that thing where he says he's looking for a place of his own but doesnt and iwa does that thing where he lets him

eventually they get into a fight, probably over smth stupid, but it blows up quick bc HEY THERES A BUNCH OF FEELINGS THEY HAVENT BEEN TALKING ABOUT!! i think what comes out here is the 'we werent friends for a long time and that hurt me' from both sides :/ and it ends w them promising to communicate better from here on out

things are better, and then they get drunk and kiss, and then freak out bc 'i dont think the other one wanted that' and then angst for a bit without talking about it bc theyre STUPID

THEYRE STILL ROOMMATES

anyway i think hinata talks to iwaizumi about it and is basically like 'hey dumbass oikawa actually likes you' which prompts iwa to Actually Talk About it

and then they kiss NOT DRUNK and live happily ever after :) :) :) and theyre like, 35 all their friends are married already theyre STUPID but i love them :,) they adopt twin daughters etc etc