#the star signs most likely to end up heartbroken and why it’s bad news if you’re dating a scorpio

[princehowl]

broom pose challenge with the bbg

and super nut ft soldier

[originated by @dilfosaur on tumblr and dilfosaur on twitter]

[feb 2024]

[hypnosomniac]

Sometimes (all the time) I pretend I’m a mouse and it makes me feel instantly happy

Is this normal?

[alpha-mag-media]

From Leo to Libra, the star signs most likely to end up heartbroken and why it’s bad news if you’re dating a Scorpio | KYQL95B | 2023-12-30 09:08:01 | December 30, 2023 at 10:08AM

From Leo to Libra, the star signs most likely to end up heartbroken and why it’s bad news if you’re dating a Scorpio | KYQL95B | 2023-12-30 09:08:01 Read More … Check full articles at Source: ALPHA MAG

[erius-vidi]

From Leo to Libra, the star signs most likely to end up heartbroken and why it’s bad news if you’re dating a Scorpio

From Leo to Libra, the star signs most likely to end up heartbroken and why it’s bad news if you’re dating a Scorpio Read Full Text

[brandnewhuman]

The lack of fics where the reader leaves Michael is so annoying. ☹️ I also want him to suffer! And the fics that we do have is : Reader leaving Michael but Michael finds them and kills/kidnaps them. I don’t want that, I want him to go crazy and regret treating his s/o like shit. Like, why can’t we have a happy ending for once?? Don’t get me wrong, fics with Michael killing/ kidnapping his s/o are so good, but I just need one fic where the reader successfully leaves Michael and lives a new and better life while Michael is heartbroken. Some of the fics make me feel so unsatisfied. I just feel like Michael should suffer more, that’s all. I love him but I feel like he’d be such a bastard.

The shape effect

☆STARRING☆

☆Michael Myers☆

CONTENT:

Tw: canon violence, Michael myers being michael, mentions of murder, toxic relationship, angst, description of panic attack

A/N: you have honestly brought this upon yourself IM NOT SORRY. YOU ASKED IT I SHALL DELIVER. Not as good as I wanted it to be but at least it's something. I know it wasn't really a request but Im a people pleaser, what can i say. Enjoy it babe

If you think hard about how everything started to feel so wrong and painful you couldn't pinpoint an exact moment you were sure started this brutal downfall. What draws you to the conclusion that what's happening it's just the consequence of your blind stupidity.

I mean, one has to be pretty stupid to let evil himself live in your house. And if you told anyone they would all tell you that you're a fool for believing this thing could actually work. And they will be right in saying this because almost everyone who ends up in Michael's path dies, why should they think he could be capable of anything other than harm. 

But you couldn't find it in yourself to see him as evil as everyone thought of him, even if it meant living in your delusional bubble. Because everytime you look at him you can only see good memories, maybe not real but good nonetheless. You honestly are starting to have a blur in your mind between what it is really like you see it and what's not. 

You see what feels like a lifetime worth of memories and things that had made Michael look ten times more human in your eyes. You see his pain and the things he has been through too and that's the part that is making this so hard, cause you know that once it's done you'll be part of the people who have given up on him. 

But you have to do it, cause otherwise you'll end up hating him like everyone else does. 

You had to go, you had to get away as far as possible for him. You feel just…so tired of fighting and crying, of feeling the most alone you have ever been when you're with the person who's supposed to be the love of your life. The more you'll stay the more you realise that most of the things that make you happy about Michael come from your mind and your need to feel he somehow cares, you have to leave before the realisation eats at everything nice your mind has created. Even if you're aware he's the one who makes you feel miserable, you prefer to be the bad guy in your head instead of him, instead of having to see that you have wasted all this time chasing a fantasy. Those excuses of happy memories were all you had, all the "nice" moments were the only thing you didn't want to give up. 

You could live with him not caring anymore or not caring enough but you couldn't just accept he didn't care at all. There was nothing more you wanted from Michael than a sign of him loving you if not as much at least a little bit, you have given him all the chances to show it and he just couldn't. 

That's the worst part, you couldn't even be mad at him and keep fighting and screaming while crying about how much he was hurting you cause he couldn't do anything about it. You were the one who fell in love, you were the one who let themselves be overwhelmed by an unrequited love. 

Maybe there was a time where he could've changed, where there was still some of the Michael you wished to have but you had to accept that you were simply too late. You have come into his life too late, what you see it's just all that remains of the person he was before. He's a conglomerate of too many mistakes, too many "too late" and countless days of being told what he is. 

Your love was simply not enough anymore or maybe it has never been and you couldn't keep living like you being the one in love for the both of you, could make anything better. 

Maybe your mind was telling you to do it for the wrong reasons, but it was screaming at you to just leave before your love for him ends up withering your whole being. 

You planned everything so thoughtfully not even Michael himself would be able to find you. If it was someone else you wouldn't make all this effort to leave but Michael was different from anyone else. He could always seem to tell when someone was trying to trick him or do something, he always knew everything about everyone. If you want to leave and he doesn't then you're most certainly never going to leave. That's why you had to make sure everything was right. You just hoped that by the time he finds out you're far enough,reassuring yourself that even if it's not the case he surely won't be upset for too long. You just wanted to stop feeling like you're not enough and free him from having to pretend he cares while simultaneously staying alive. Is it so bad to want for yourself someone less rough? More kind? Someone who didn't need to be "fixed" or teaches basic human emotions while keeping yourself from becoming like him too? 

For Michael It will. When he'll come home the first thing he looks out for is you, not to ask you to do something for him or anything but just because you're the first person he has to wait for him and the first he can come back to when he feels alone. When he'll see you're not around he might not think much about it at first, maybe you just went to buy something or you're having a longer shift at work. There's a little whisper inside him, though, telling that something doesn't feel quite right as he heads to the kitchen and sits at the table to wait for you. 

In case you were wondering, he waited much longer than anyone could ever wait, after all he's a very resilient person. He would always wait for you even if he had to wait two eternities. 

Now he's not stupid, deep down he knows that you're not going back since he hasn't tried to go out looking foe you. He just feels that maybe if he waits enough you'll somehow know and you'll be back. 

That's the half of him that still thinks like the 6 years old Michael, the one that waited entire years for his family to come back and for the people around him to really help him. And there's the other half that isn't surprised anymore, that was actually wondering how much longer you would stay.

He is so scared of even moving or breathing to deeply cause to him if he stays still enough he can't pretend that this is not happening 

How tragic it is to know perfectly well how bad  you are in someone but not being capable of letting go. He once thought the only thing able to torment him was the bottomless pit of darkness inside him demanding more and more violence and consuming literally everything inside him but he was wrong. It wasn't until he met you and he learned how it feels to care for someone, that he knew what was real torture. Being trapped in a body and a mind that are broken, that would never function the way you like and will never give the one you love what they need. No matter the effort, his touch will never be gentle or kind, his emotions will never work the way they should, his voice will never come out to say anything, much less something nice. You were all he had, you were the only one who took care of him and loved him as if he was a real human being worthy of such attention. Loomis had mentioned it from time to time, how his energy and overall him as a  whole consumed and ate away other people's vital energy.He used to compare it to a some sort of cancer, when you find out what it is and what is doing is always too late.

The thing is, he is trapped with himself as much as everyone else is. He doesn't get a way out, he doesn't get to justify himself and certainly doesn't get to be understood. You did that though, you made him feel understood and loved and heard, you made him feel like he wasn't entirely wrong at being angry at the world. 

You have been very smart at leaving before he could stop you cause knowing himself he wouldn't have allowed that. He finds himself aware of the fact that he wouldn't have cared about your happiness if that meant he got to keep you by his side. But deep down he didn't want to be a cancer for you too, he knows you're right about leaving. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, doesn't mean that a hot stream of tears can't be running down his cheeks inside the mask and falling onto his hands making him realise his crying. He has cried very few times and never this much. This feeling inside him..he just can't stand it. It's getting more and more overwhelming as the hours pass by and in his chest there's an oppressive feeling of not getting enough air. His head is spinning so fast he falls from the chair gripping his chest as if that was going to stop the brutal pounding of his heart inside trying to get out of his mouth. His always steady hands are now shaking as he takes off the mask for the first time in years, he wasn't even sure there was a face under that mask anymore, he doesn't even know how or when he had become more the boogeyman and less michael. He actively feels like he is dying, and he has suffered countless near death experiences so he should know how dying feels. It's like everything that has happened has come down on him only now and it's trying to tear him apart from inside. He waits and waits for the moment in which his lungs stop gasping for air and his heart stops fighting to keep the heartbeats going, but it never comes. He's stuck in that almost dying over and over again. 

The thought of how happy you would be to finally see his face crosses his mind and for you he would be faceless for life, he would let anyone see right through what scares him the most just to have an opportunity to make you come back, to keep you near. 

But he can't, like some stupid romantic story cliché he wants to change when it's too late. 

He holds his head between his hands and tries so hard to stop the loudness inside his mind, he feels so dizzy he could throw up. He can't take it anymore, the shape himself feels defeated and it's now even praying for god to make it stop. He tries so hard to just push everything away but it's like he can feel himself getting sicker and sicker, like the pain is spreading inside him just to rip apart his body to get out. 

He just doesn't know how to make it right and how to tell you, he just doesn't know and now you're gone because of it. It's like every mile you get away from him he feels it in pain. 

As days pass by it doesn't get any better, if anything it gets worse. He has thought about stopping going back to your house and just getting away from anything that reminds him of you but everytime he takes a step towards the opposite direction his mind flashes him with images of you coming back and not finding him. He knows it won't happen but knowing it doesn't mean accepting it. 

He keeps lying on your side of the bed, trying to imagine hard enough that you're there. Keep caressing your clothes but not too much so he can save your scent for a little bit longer. He holds onto everything and anything that can make him feel close to you, even if it's painful he needs it. He needs to at least know you were there once, that you really existed before disappearing. 

The void you have left behind it's eating him alive and the ones paying for it are his victims. He has searched for you, has tried everything but in the end you seemed to have outsmarted him because he had to give up. 

For any other person, this type of pain would certainly end up fading and just become a distant memory of a nasty break up but for Michael? He can't forget. 

His body and his mind, his essence if you will, latches onto every little thing that makes him feel alive. He will live with the pain of not having you near for the rest of his life. 

[paimon-rambles]

Alphabet Fluff

Characters: Aether

A gift to my sister cause she never stops thirsting 😒 @katsukiibug

Doing all of them ;-;

Icon credit: Leheia

-

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Aether is opened to any activities his partner throws at him. He's not very picky.

But he does enjoy some dinner dates and strolls around the city, wheater it is Liyue or Mondstadt. He pays for all meals and snacks with the Mora he got from his travels.

Be warned, however, cause Paimon ain't gonna shut up about the food. Regardless it's comforting, followed by a nice walk through the city basked in moonlight.

Aether also in general likes to travel with you, other than Paimon you're his companion. He likes to take you to the forest to pick berries or other essential resources, beneficial for future endeavors.

Stories from his travels? Aether could ramble about for hours. Describing the little mishaps and mischief he and his sister found themselves in. Though he gets really sad whenever his sister is brought up.....oofles

He's traveled from world to world was introduced to many hobbies and games of variety, he's happy to introduce you to some of them if your willing to try something new out.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Your patience

Aether has a bit of a packed schedule; assisting with commissions and dealing with hilichrul attacks. Not to mention his mind is set on finding the 7 archons in the hope to find his sister. He's incredibly busy most of the times

He doesn't ignore you on purpose, but he's dragged everywhere. Poor guy:(

But he admires that you don't fuss about it and always hold patience. Of course, Aether will find a way to make it up to you eventually. He tends to send small souvenirs from his travels as a form of apology.

Your comfort

He recently lost his sister and is overhwaled by all these tasks placed on his heavy and tired shoulders. He leans on you when he needs that moment of peace or comfort.

He loves that you try to soothe him whenever he's in his worst moments. With your words or simple touches of comfort, he adores it all.

Your eyes

Aether loves to stare into your eyes. He finds them really beautiful and finds himself smiling whenever looking in your eyes.

He's memorized by how they lightly sparkle or glimmer depending on your emotions. Or how they light up whenever you laugh or smile.

He finds it soothing to just lean your foreheads against each other and stare endlessly at your eyes, his worries and concerns being carried away.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

He's a brother and understands when his partner is under stress or feeling down. Similar to how he notices the small gestures Lumine has that show her emotions are swirling in her head.

He picks up on the small hints and notices right away the shift in your behavior. You can say you're fine but he ain't falling for it, he's seen the signs.

But Aether does give the space you want. He recognizes its benefits and understands it himself; He's lost his kin, there are times Aether wants to push everyone away.

So patient, he's not pushing you into anything instead he's letting you describe what's bothering you at your pace. You can break down sobbing and he would wait while comfortably drawing stars on your back. He even has his shoulder to cry on if you want, softly running his hand through her hair in comforting motions.

He tries his best to give advice from his own experience. He makes a promise to cheer you later. He's just trying to make you happy again cause he hurting inside if you're not :(

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Aether pictures the future from time to time. Mainly thinking about finding his sibling. He pictures two outcomes the good now and the one he dreads dearly.

Of course, since you are his s/o, you do play role in some of the scenarios he plays on his head.

He wonders what will be of the relationship after he finds his sibling, would they continue to travel worlds as they had done previously?

It was his sister and himself life's work of jumping planet to planet and learning of the different kingdoms and such.

Teyvat is your home, you have all your plans for the future in this world, he couldn't force you to leave.

So he rather hears of your views on the future instead, listening closely as you explain everything you have planned while his heart slowly aches as he debates for his future.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

He sees you as his equal. Nothing less or more- though he looks to up you a lot

He doesn't let any status you may hold hinder the relationship, and he wishes the same. He may be a traveler from another world, praised for his achievements, and his reputation in the nation's placed his name high. But Aether doesn't want that to affect his relationship with his lover.

So yee equals =

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

He hates fighting :(

Soft boy can't handle arguing with his s/o. It breaks his heart every time. Instantly feels guilty, even if he wasn't in the wrong.

Because of this arguments are incredibly rare. He's not an angry person in general and tends to stay positive most of the time. It will only occur if he's incredibly pent up about a situation. He'd bottle up those emotions before the string being pulled and he snaps.

Easy to forgive, the moment he notices he's angry he's apologizing for lashing out. Poor boy can't handle you being scared, upset, and disappointed with him.

After a fight, he gives you the space needed before checking on you and asking if you're alright. Aether would pull you into a hug, and probably sob depending on how bad the fight was. Cuddles until your both happy again or unless you really don't want to be in his presence at the moment.

If the fight was really bad he gives you some space to think for a bit and try to get it off his head. Afterward, he goes to apologize to you, to where you either sob together or things go back to normal right after

Apologizes repeatedly to you, you could say you've forgiven him but he's gonna continue apologizing for another hour or so.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Incredibly grateful for every little act his s/o does for him. Ever since losing his sister, he's been in a void and his s/o has been the light helping him back to his feet. Cheesy I know-

But he truly appreciates everything you do for him, it always brings a smile to his face whenever his s/o does the most simple little acts that go a long way for him. He acknowledges even the smallest of things

Simple acts such as setting up his stuff before he goes to complete commissions or cooking him some food. It always makes his day better.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Aether tells his partner pretty much everything, he dislikes keeping you in the dark. He would be really upset and heartbroken if he found out his s/o was hiding anything from him

He relies on you a lot, he tells you everything because you always put him at ease.

However, there are a few things that he would hide for a short time. He would tell his partner eventually but needs some time to plan out how to tell them. But those moments are rare and in between.

If he did find out that his s/o was hiding something from him, he'd be so torn :< feels betrayed a in way that you hid something from him.

Of course, he would listen to your reasoning as to why you kept secrets, but he starts to distance himself for a bit.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Aether works harder for you. In other words, he's constantly trying to impress you. He tries to act heroically around you to make you smile and all.

He learned to not always feel so down because of his sister and take time to be happy as well

He for sure helps you overcome any problems or barriers that have been holding you back, taking one step at a time. You work it out together and he's patient with the process

He's always inspired by you, he works harder for you and tries to complete his commissions at a faster rate so he can spend the rest of the day work you.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Can go both ways. On one hand, Aether isn't really one to get jealous, as he has complete trust in his partner but on the other hand, there are times when he gets insecure or jealous over somethings

But for the most part he isn't jealous, there are moments where he's scared to lose you like he lost his sister, to be left alone again :<<

In the moments where he is jealous, he would tell his s/o that he's feeling envious. Getting it off his chest and hoping his S/o would help calm down his worries

If he's feeling really envious, which are incredibly rare, he would avoid you for a bit trying to let his jealousy die away before confronting you

He'd feel really bad if he accidentally made you feel jealous instead. He would remind you that all his love is reserved for you and only you.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Something like that done here

An average kisser, a bit inexperienced when it comes to kissing, you're his first boyfriend/girlfriend but he caught on really fast.

But because of this, your first kiss ended up being really awkward and Aether got incredibly flustered cause he believed he did something wrong

He's still really shy whenever he kisses you, he grows flustered whenever you intimate the kiss.

His kisses are really gentle, pressing his lips against yours softly. Each kiss is filled with emotions, all his love into each one. Very gentle boi

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

A mess

Poor boi is stuttering and fumbling over his words. He a nervous wreck but he's trying his best.

He planned everything out but when the moment came he tripped over his words.

He invites you over for a nice dinner, nothing too fancy and nothing too cheap, just right. He pays for food, slowly bringing the conversation to an idea of a relationship. Of course, he's hella flustered and trying not to show(which he does) it.

Then he kinda blurts out that he has a crush on you and wants to try out a relationship

If you say yes he's gonna have a huge smile on his face for the rest day, it's really adorable TwT

If you say no, however, he freezes in place for a while, the whole thing repeating in his head up to the point where you rejected him. He apologizes and excuses himself. You don't see him for a couple of days, since aether is avoiding you, he's really embarrassed to talk to you. Oh and congratulations you get a nasty nickname from Paimon :D

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

He thought about it at least once when your relationship was growing. Similar to dreams, he had different scenarios in this head for the future and how they could play out.

He would like to get married one day, yes, but it isn't something he sees doing anytime soon as his primary goal is to find his sister, afterward however he will look into it more and suggest the idea to his s/o.

In terms of how he proposes, he takes you on a little adventure that highlights some your adventures you had together near the beginning of your friendship, before getting on one knee and popping the question.

Kind of that nostalgic feeling you get as you reminisce on some of the old memories you created together

The both of you plan the ceremony and incorporate your ideas into one. It's gonna be a big wedding though since pretty much all of Mondstadt, Liyue, and other nations that are yet to be explored will be attending.

Of course, if you wish for a smaller wedding, he doesn't mind at all and will plan out something smaller. He personally likes a small wedding too :)

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Aether isn't too keen on nicknames for his s/o but he does have a few. But for the most part, he calls you y/n, especially in public

He calls you sometimes a shorter version of your name. Or a flower that reminds him of you.

Really depends on your personality as well and which flower it associates with, or he might have a silly nickname for you that he called you once and it stuck with him. However, those types of nicknames are used rarely depending on the circumstance.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Blush blush blush blush

He might be a little oblivious to it since your his first, he doesn't realize it until someone cough venti cough points out to him.

He's in denial at first, swirling over his words while his face reveals the truth. He's crushing hard

Aether tries to mask his little crush from you and he does pretty well minus a few moments where he's got off guard, que flustering soft boi

But when he's in love, he has a smile on his whenever speaking to the person that makes his heart skip a beat. It's pretty prominent to others once you notice the behavior shift from someone random to you.

He expresses his love in a little of everything; kisses and little hugs along with serenading you in words or perhaps gifting you something. A little mix of all of them

His favorite way to express his love is to have his hand intertwine with yours. It's simple but it comforts him knowing you're close. He loves it whenever you give him a slight squeeze of reassurance; it never fails to put a smile on his face

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Shy boy gets flustered in private, he gets really flustered showing PDA in public.

Don't get me wrong he loves showering you in affection but he gets easily flushed at the idea of people watching him kiss his s/o or giving them a comforting hug.

His PDA is average, he's open to hand-holding in public because it comforts him without having to do anything too affectionate in the public eye

He doesn't brag either, most people already know the existence of your relationship.

Although for the most part, he's trying to keep it a secret because of the Fatui and the threat it could place on you. You don't want La Signora chasing after you.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship.

Paimon is usual around Aether meaning that whenever your feeling hungry, Paimon can point out the best places to sit down and have a delicious meal

An expert treasure hunter is in your area, and you're dating him! He knows where to find hints and little clues for treasures and can open any lock or seal. Many fortunes

He has so many stories to tell from his previous travels. It helps you connect more as you listen to him tell you every memory he can remember from the worlds he visited. You never get bored by his stories either.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He's can be really creative in his antic when it comes to making his s/o happy, but he also sticks to some more cliche methods as well

As mentioned previously he's visited many worlds and has seen the various ways people would do to cheer up their partners.

He uses that to his advantage when trying something to get that smile he loves dearly on your face

But the also likes to take some classic routes, little gifts, or acts of affection to make you happy

Perhaps a rose banquet one day and something new and really imaginative the next. He can be a wild card when deciding

One time he jokingly asked Paimon for advice, of course, she suggested having sticky honey roast as a nice evening lunch date. Which he ended up taking you to that afternoon

He's willing to do anything-within reasonable terms- to make his s/o happy. If just point something out or specify on what would make you really happy; chances are he's going to do it for you

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

100% support in you

He wants to see your goals accomplished as well. Just like your helping him find his sister, he helps you achieve your goal

If you allow him, he's willing to put aside some of his commissions to help you plan and get a better roadmap to obtain your goal

Aether helps keep you motivated whenever you're feeling down, reminding you of what you have accomplished so far. Cooking you food or bringing you some water to get your brain flowing again. As well as some encouragement from Paimon, although she tends to over exaggerate most of the time

He is also sure to help you take breaks whenever you're pushing yourself too much. He takes you outside to pick plants or berries, but it's really soothing and distracting

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

It's an adventure every day with Aether

At the beginning of the relationship, he tried to follow a more classical relationship routine. Since he was so new to affection, e mimicked what he saw other couples do thinking it was the correct way to go. But after spending more time with you he strayed away from that, adding his own ideas along with yours

He's constantly traveling the world, meeting archons and other powerful beings. There always a battle to be fought or a harbinger to run from. A lot can happen in one day

And you're his trusty and equal companion, he likes to bring you along through the chaos that is Teyvat

In other words, there is always a thrill in your relationship, plus Aether is always open to trying something new occasionally. Never a dull moment except for that one lazy Sunday where you cuddle all day, but it's really wholesome

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Aether picks up on the little things that signal a behavior shift within you. With these notices he acts quickly to be sure your alright and accesses if he needs to shower you in more affection in order to make you happy >:0

He tries to sympathize with his partner, trying to understand the emotions they're going through. He understands grief and anger, as he had experienced it with the loss of his kin, and knows how to help alleviate his s/o

But he does try his best to help cheer you up regardless of the emotions you are feeling. Paimon is even there to cheer you with her own words

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Aether's relationship with you is something he holds close to his heart. It's incredibly important to him, and he is sure to voice how important you are to him.

His s/o is that last speck of hope and happiness in his life after being filled with pain for so long. He'd be devastated without you

Unfortunately, his sister is his first priority, his family comes close. Lumine is the only kin he has. But your also really important to him, and so he tries to shower you with affection daily

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Your Paimon's close friend, you get to hear her ramble about food- a lot. But she's also really supportive of your relationship, she's noticed how much happier Aether had become since then.

Aether likes it whenever you braid his hair. Finding it soothing as your fingers gently comb through his golden locks

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

A shy boy wanting to shower his s/o in affection. He's not the most affectionate person out there but he does try to be romantic and such

He adores hugs more than kisses, he finds it further comforting to hold his partner close and reassured that there beside him. He wishes he could cuddle with you for hours however commissions among other tasks that always pull him back

He also likes kisses, there always gentle and soft and he mainly kisses you on the cheek, forehead, or lips.

So overall he is pretty affectionate and he tries his best to make you feel loved

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

He can handle it for a few days, he has trust in you and your abilities. But he does think about you whenever you have to leave, wishing he could go with you. He's already missing your presence the moment you kissed him goodbye before venturing off to whatever.

Then he starts to become worried, his head is racing even though you're fine. He's trying to stay calm in the situation, which he does pretty well but it's clear something is troubling the traveler from another world. Nonetheless, he doesn't act out that worry

He starts to take up more commissions in hopes it will put his mind off It, overworking himself just a tad too much until he finds himself exhausted and turns in to rest for the night.

He refrains from any thoughts involving you being in a dangerous circumstance, he's trying to stay positive and counting down the days until your arrival back to Mondstadt or Liyue. But he has had that one thought or two, dreading over his shoulders

When you do return, the moment he spots your familiar figure; his mind is washed with relief as he makes his way towards you. He approaches with a soft, kind smile as he engulfs you into a hug. He asks you how the journey or task went and if you hit any roadblocks or difficulties.

He takes you to dinner that afternoon to talk some more, he misses you dearly :(

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

As mentioned before Aether tries his best to make you happy, he'll try somethings out but he won't cross any unnecessary lines or ones that shouldn't be crossed

Listen- he's stolen a Gods Lyre, angered the cryo God, fought a Harbinger, and almost destroyed a nation- oh and he's a garden thief. He's willing to go to some extra lengths to make you happy-he just doesn't want to add on to the list of chaos that had occurred already

But as mentioned previously, his main goal is finding his sister and he tries not to stray from it too much. But yes, he does care about your relationship and he is sure to remind you that you always hold a special place in his heart :)

-

I'm done omg, yay

[tetrakys]

So... about Elriel and Elucien...

I have finally read everything ACOTAR, including the two excerpts at the end of ACOSF, so I can give my final opinion about this ambiguous situation.

Let me first point out that I really don’t care about Elain and who she ends up with, I’m primarily a Faysand shipper, so my opinion in this matter is objective because I’m not invested, I only care about the characters’ wellbeing which fortunately is something SJM gives us anyway.

My opinion is that this ambiguous situation, is not ambiguous at all. Elucien and Gwynriel are endgame, and here is why.

(And fyi I’m nobody. Just a reader who likes to dissect and analyse plotlines and characters of the media she consumes. 9 times out of 10 I get it right.)

Every writer has a certain style, a bunch of tropes and preferences that are recurrent in their writing and create their own personal trademark. That’s why as readers we are fans of specific authors and tend to read most of what they write, their telltale signs can be found in other stories, other flavours but they are still there. Now, SJM has her own way to write romance and her couples always follow this format:

1) The couple that is ultimately going to end up together starts from a position of opposition and contrast. They initially can’t stand each other, they lie to themselves thinking they want nothing to do with the other person.

2) They ALWAYS start from a position of cowardice and false comfort, and their journey is to open their eyes, understand that the way they are living is wrong, and accept that part of themselves that pushes them toward the other person.

Let’s look at the two canon couples this series:

Feysand: Feyre and Rhys start seemingly as enemies. We then learn that it’s all bullshit, but what is Feyre’s psychological state at the beginning of ACOMAF? She is in a BAD relationship, but she can’t find the strength and the guts to get herself out of that situation. It takes a while for her to open her eyes and see that what she needs is elsewhere. Similarly, when Rhys just got free of 50 years of mental and physical subjugation, the first thing that happens to him is to find out that he is tied to someone else. Someone who isn’t even available. His first instinct is to run. Once they finally admit what they feel for each other, they also embrace a part of themselves they were ignoring or rejecting. We have read 1000 times how Feyre used to draw stars and night skies her whole life before finding herself at peace in the Night Court. And Rhys was so traumatised by all he had been through that loving Feyre forces him to come to terms with it and understand that he is worthy of being loved despite Amarantha.

Nessian: At the beginning of her journey Nesta is a whole train wreak. She hates herself and her only way to get by, the coward comfortable way, is drunkenness and meaningless sex with strangers. Cassian is actually the most grounded character of this whole saga imo, he had already been through his personal journey but he was also scared shitless of Nesta and her reactions. And only when she finally forgives herself, she can accept him.

Now... what does this mean for Elain?

Elain has had her life turned upside down by her transformation. She is heartbroken because the man she was in love with can’t even stand the sight of her. The moment she emerged from the Cauldron she was claimed. Very, very wrong move from Lucien’s part, should’ve bidden his time like Cassian did. Elaine rejects this new life for moths, and of course she rejects Lucien. Lucien is shaken by this, BUT he is also running away. We have seen him being completely lost. He has a sense of responsibility and yes, sure, attraction towards Elain, but he is messed up and in ACOFAS it is mentioned that he also wants to spend as little time with her as possible. 

It’s exactly the same situation as Feysand and Nessian, but in a different context of course. They both have to go through their own journey, accept themselves and then the other.

And we have had the same kind of hints we had with Feyre. Elain is not suited for the Night Court, she looks washed up in black, lifeless, darkness doesn’t suit her. She is light, flowers and sun. She is the Day Court, of which Lucien is in fact the heir.

And what about Azriel?

Azriel and Elain are in a very similar situation at the moment. They are both surviving a terrible heartbreak, they are both quiet and contemplative, they both see more than they let on. They are each other’s easy, comfortable choice. Also they both know that they can’t really be with each other, so if on one side this increases desire, on the other deep down they are happy basking in the knowledge that they won’t have to commit.

Since I started reading ACOSF I realised that the character of Gwyn had been created to be Az’s perfect match. She is also pure and traumatised, but she is already a fighter. Elaine and Azriel don’t work well together because they are too similar where it doesn’t matter, they need a counterpart to balance them when it comes to temperament, but similar enough deep down. Gwyn sees herself as scarred, marked after what happened to her. Just like Az constantly looks at his scarred hands. Elaine is all pureness and this is what attracts him about her, but it’s not what he needs. 

Gwyn and Az are on the same journey: accept the fact that their past does not define them and that they are better people than what they think.

Lucien and Elain are on the same journey: find out who they really are and what kind of life they want.

I’m expecting something to happen between Elain and Azriel in the next book, if SJM had not shown any attraction between them I would’ve thought that maybe she was preparing something meaningful for them later on, but it’s so out there that it’s clear they are each other’s initial position of comfort and complacency, they may even bang (and I’m sure it’s going to be hot if it really happens), but it won’t get further than that. 

Az’s shadows are attracted to Gwyn, they recognise a mating bond that neither of them understands yet. 

And Elain is so focused on rejecting Lucien even when he’s not around that it’s typical SJM couple dynamic 101.

[ginnyq]

The Book of Boba Fett Episode 3

Welp. That didn’t take long, did it?

Episode 2 really got my hopes up for Star Wars to do right by the Tuskens, the clones, fans of color, indigenous fans, and Temuera Morrison himself, by showcasing the Tuskens as a people and a culture and individuals to be respected.

And then turned around and in the next episode threw that all in the trash.

I say all this as a white person, but one who follows many fans of color who were over the moon about episode 2. Posts for days, almost a whole week, about how much last week’s episode meant to them as indigenous or AAPI fans. And today, the second day after the new episode? It’s crickets about TBOBF, following a small burst of short, heartbroken posts.

And that breaks my heart. And makes me angry. Enraged, in that impotent, helpless way that that makes it hurt even more. So I’d like to make a longer post, because I think it’s important for there to be an in-depth explanation (such as I can give, from my admittedly limited perspective) explaining why episode 3 was so upsetting.

I’d love to talk about the things that were interesting/cool about this episode (the rancor, the half-naked fight with Krrsantan, the clearly skeezy moisture farmer guy), but honestly? I felt sick the moment I saw the black smoke and didn’t stop through the end of the episode. In fact, it’s pretty much killed my excitement for the next episode, and I’ve been looking forward to this show for a literal year.

Because this isn’t just about not liking the direction the story went, i.e. much-loved characters dying. It’s not even completely about the tired, disgusting trope killing off of an indigenous group, although that is most definitely a large part of it, especially after the deep (but still not deep enough) dive into the tribe we got in episode 2.

It’s about the direction that the real-life, human writers took, and the choice to not just use a tired, offensive, hurtful trope, but to not even use it well. Because the slaughter of the Tusken tribe happened almost completely out of the blue (Boba left for what, a day??), and off-screen, and quickly. We see a bunch of dead bodies, but none belonging to the attackers -- you’re telling me that zero bad guys were killed by the Tusken warriors? We don’t even see all the Tusken characters we care about (the badass warrior? the Tusken kid??). Boba is sad for all of what, two minutes, tops? And then bam, moving on!

What kind of offensive, bullshit, lazy-ass writing is this? Because the shift, not only in the narrative but in the tone, was so drastic I felt like I’d missed an episode, or at least a chunk of one. (But hey, thank goodness we spent so much time with that lame, slow-ass chase scene with the brightly colored SW Vespas.)

And I still feel sick, and discouraged, and disappointed, and uninterested, and ANGRY. On behalf of all the people I know and follow who felt episode 2 was a gamechanger in terms of representation, not to mention a sign of improvement, of good and even better things to come.

It’s possible, I suppose, that we haven’t seen the whole story yet. That the flashbacks are incomplete, or Boba’s knowledge is, and that many Tuskens did survive and there will be a victorious return, etc. But I’m not holding out hope, tbh.

And it’s such a slap in the face to all the fans and actors of color, and especially Temuera Morrison and the people who contributed to such good representation in episode 2. Because it could have been better -- we saw it last week. And a choice was made to actively NOT continue such good representation. That’s what hurts most of all, I think.

I’ll watch the rest of the series, but mostly to see if the aftermath/follow-up makes things at all better. My previous excitement is pretty much gone (and I was pumped, people, you have no idea). Honestly, I’m having a hard time getting attached to any new characters, no matter how much screentime they get, since the Tuskens got most of an episode and they got wiped out. I don’t have the emotional or mental energy to invest in anyone else.

And, as a white person, what I’m feeling is a minuscule fraction of the anger, disappointment, and betrayal that indigenous fans and other fans of color are feeling after this episode. I’m angry and heartbroken for them most of all.

[megmachine]

Mistakes

A/N: this is the first section of my WIP star trek fic. See the tags before reading if your interested, and please let me know what you think! 

The last time Jim ever saw his aunt alive, she was crying. He was thirteen and being led onto a bus alongside his cousins and had glanced out the darkened window on a whim. She had been standing in the doorway to their farmhouse, clutching little Sarah’s favorite blanket, arguing with one of the large men dressed in black that had come to take them back. The man had laid his hand on his belt, saying something, and Aunt Josie had broken down crying. Through a cloud of red dust as they drove away, Jimmy saw her fall to her knees and sob. Tear tracks cut through the dirt on her face, leftovers from when they’d been playing in the garden earlier. They turned a corner and trees finally blocked his view, and he turned back to talk to his cousins.

He was only supposed to be on Tarsus IV for six months. Driving the car into the canyon had been the last straw, and even though they’d ‘worked things out’ with the cops, Jimmy knew he’d pushed too hard. Frank was fed up with him and he’d been suspended from school again and his mother was still out there, exploring space without him. Winona said she would be earthside ‘in just six months, Jimmy, it’s only six months,’ and that this was just a stopgap to get him away from his step-father.  What a load of bull that was, not that he’d say it to her face. Two months in, when he moved into boarding school full-time and wasn’t counting down the days till his shuttle home, Winona messaged him. She told him her ship, the U.S.S. Faragaut, would be delayed eight additional months and for the first time, he wasn’t heartbroken. Fourteen months in the colony, he could make it fourteen months. His aunt actually liked him, she never even hit him, and his cousins didn’t treat him like a burden the way Sam used to. Classes challenged him, for the most part, and he got to go back home every weekend to see his aunt and the farmhouse. Sure, meals weren’t that big, but Jimmy had never really gone hungry here, either. Tarsus was good. Life was good. 

This time, though, as the farmhouse faded from view, he could tell his Aunt knew something was different. Clouds of red dust obscured his view and it felt like he was losing something, somewhere he’d finally started to call home. It was silly to get so melancholy about a semester at boarding school, he’d thought. He’d thought a lot of things that ended up being wrong.

It was two Saturdays later when Jimmy and Will wondered if something was wrong. A full two weeks since they had seen the rest of their family. They were sitting on his cousin’s bed, each with a PADD in hand, working on their homework. Their teacher, Hoshi, had been grilling them on languages, and despite Jimmy’s efforts Will couldn’t grasp Vulcansu conjugations. 

“No, see, it’s a past tense irregular verb, and you forgot the hyphen-”

“Jimmy.” Will interrupted him, something he never did. His face, normally an open book, was drawn and stiff. Jimmy held his tongue and swallowed back his knee-jerk snarky response. His cousin took a deep breath, held it for five seconds, and let it out in a huff.  

“I’m worried about my mom. She hasn’t been responding to my comms all week, and Mr. Davies told me we aren’t doing home visits next weekend, either. I just… I know you think it’s stupid to get all worked up over family, but this isn’t like her.”

Neither of them said anything for a minute, both brains running through the options. Finally, Jimmy sighed. He knew his cousin well enough to know where his mind had immediately gone, and had an idea of how to deal with it. 

“Look, Will, I do understand where you’re coming from. If you’re really that worried about Aunt Josie, how about we go see her? Will that make you feel better?” Jimmy tossed his PADD aside and stood up, stretching his arms over his head and groaning exaggeratedly. Honestly, he’d been wanting to stretch his legs too, but hadn’t had the right opportunity to sneak out until this moment. 

His cousin wasn’t convinced yet, though. “What do you mean? How are we supposed to get home if buses aren’t running to the farm?”

Jimmy smirked, tilting his head and glancing back. “Why, we’ll be breaking out, of course!”

That line sealed the deal. After all, Will was a bad boy at heart, too.

It was dark out by the time they could put their plan into motion. The double moons were rising in the west, casting everything outside the range of the street lamps in a faint, pale light. They took a walk in the botany gardens after dinner, a fairly inconspicuous thing to do. Subconsciously, Jimmy noted that a few of the plants seemed wilted, white flecks spotting a few lower leaves, but he wasn’t a botanist and so made no comment. Will kept an eye on the teachers that patrolled the area while Jimmy made his way to a shadowy corner, the one place he knew of that the cameras wouldn’t see him. From there, he accessed the security system from his PADD - he’d been teaching himself programming since he was five, sitting in the back of his kindergarten classroom, it was a breeze to hack these types of systems - and ran a loop of camera feed. From there the two made their way to the chain link fence that surrounded the school. 

The principal told them it was to keep wildlife out, since Tarsus had some rather nasty native predators. Of course, there was a hole in the fence that Jimmy had known about for a few weeks, and nothing had managed to get in, so he didn’t know the validity of that statement. The gap was barely big enough for him to squeeze through, scrawny as he was, but he’d kept it in the back of his mind in case he ever wanted to sneak out. There hadn’t been anything suspicious going on, at least as far as he was aware, so he’d had no reason to utilize it before this night. He was enjoying his classes, and had no reason to mess around. At, least, not until then.

Jimmy went through first. After making sure the coast was clear, Will forced his way out, too. The fencing groaned, and they both held their breath for a minute before determining no one else had heard. After that, it was smooth sailing for the rest of their ‘escape.’ The fence opened up into a thick forest, full of a mix of native and terran flora that formed a dense canopy and heavy shadows. They could still use the moonlight and their knowledge of direction to make their way towards the nearby town of New Franklin. The school they attended was fairly secluded, so their hike took nearly an hour. The principal and teachers, when asked, had said that the governor thought it important that students learn astronomy and botany and all types of things you couldn’t study well in the city, so their school was the only thing this far out. They were surrounded by forests on one side, and a massive plain on the other, and as far as one could see there was no other sign of civilization. When he first got there, Jimmy had thought all the greenery was wonderful. Now he was starting to hate it, as he was slapped in the face by yet another palm frond-looking thing.

Eventually, pushing through the thick greenery native to Tarsus, Jimmy thought he could hear the murmur of human life. It was about time - they still had to consider the hour-long drive to and from the farmhouse, and he wanted to get a little bit of sleep that night. Their plan was to either hitch a ride from a kind stranger, an idea Jimmy wasn’t a big fan of, or steal a vehicle, something Will didn’t like - even though Jimmy had argued that they wouldn’t really be stealing, they'd be borrowing with the intent to bring it back unscratched. That argument was part of why they’d gotten started so late, and now Tarsus’ first moon was more than halfway through the sky. Its blue face watched them as they foraged on through the woods, unwavering and unyielding in its faint light. 

They popped out on a paved road, the outlines of squat, wide-spread buildings against the tapestry of stars the only sign of civilization. There were next to no lights on, Jimmy noticed. No street lamps, or illuminated windows, or headlights. He’d have thought the town was dead, if not for the hum of generators he could still make out. A curfew, then? Why? Neither of them had any answers, but this did throw a wrench in both their transportation options. More so Will’s favored plan than his own, though his would be difficult to pull off too. 

Well, there was no way around it. The two boys exchanged glances - neither had said a word their whole adventure other than to warn the other of a hole or tree branch, too scared of being heard and caught - and advanced towards the dead town. Jimmy knew more than enough about hotwiring to be able to steal most civilian vehicles, and Will had been driving aunt Josie’s truck for the past year, so they were rather confident in their abilities. But that all depended on whether or not they would find something to steal. 

The first couple of buildings they approached were barren. Jimmy could make out the muffled sound of human voices and movement behind the walls, but there were no vehicles other than a couple of rusting bikes parked out front. The first hovercar they saw was all black and parked in the middle of town square. The engine was still running, but no one was sitting inside the car. Jimmy made a mental note of it and kept creeping along, hoping for a less suspicious get-away vehicle. The next one they saw was sitting in front of a small house. The car itself had four wheels and more than a little bit of rust, but it obviously hadn’t been used in the past few hours. The house it was parked near, similarly, didn’t show any signs of life. Neither Jimmy nor Will wanted to think very hard about that fact. Still, this was a better option, less likely to be noticed missing if they could get away quietly. Jimmy cracked his knuckles, gave his cousin a grin, and eased the driver’s door open.

Since he’d been old enough to start developing his fine motor skills, Jimmy had been playing with wires. Maybe not a sign of the safest childhood, but it certainly had its perks. For one, he could open a panel inside any car, four-wheeled or hovering, and get it running in under five minutes if it was a model from the past half-century. Thankfully, this one was. Another thing Jimmy was thankful for, he considered once the engine hummed to life, was that 23rd century cars were so much quieter than previous renditions. Not even the house a block over could hear it starting up. Will nudged his cousin over, crawling into the driver side and adjusting the seat to his liking. 

“I’m still sticking by my argument that I could drive this puppy just as well as you,” Jimmy grumbled from where he was buckling himself into the passenger seat. 

Will ignored him, throwing the car into gear and ever-so-slowly crawling out of the driveway and onto the road. “How the hell am I supposed to navigate all the way home if I can’t turn on the headlights?” he hissed, peering over the steering wheel in a way that didn’t really give Jimmy much confidence in his abilities. 

He sighed, hunching over the center console and pulling out more wires from Will didn’t even know where. In between stripping colorful rubber with his teeth, Jimmy explained himself. “Most modern cars actually have the ability to display an active infrared view through the windshield - night vision. It’s better than using the headlights, actually, but we humans are too attached to the way things have always been to use it. Manufacturers even got rid of the easy-access switch, but they never bothered to get rid of the tech itself. Lucky us.” He spared a second to glance up at his cousin, grinning wildly, before twisting two bare wires together and clipping them to a circuit board. Jimmy had no idea how like his mother he looked in that second, and the excited expression faded almost as suddenly as it had appeared. 

The windshield display flickered once, twice, before the pitch black landscape became visible in various shades of green and grey. The compass, temperature read out, and clock reappeared in their usual location (lining the top of the windshield, out of immediate eyeline), now a bright white against hunter green shadows. 

Jimmy almost whoop-ed, catching himself at the last second and instead silently punched the air. “What’re you waiting for, Willy?” He snickered, flopping back into his seat. Will grumbled something about ‘cocky little nerds’ and eased his way down the pavement, gradually making his way out the town as a pace that had both of them out of their minds with boredom before they’d even made it a mile. 

It took a little over ninety minutes to get to aunt Josie’s farmhouse. More often than either of them wanted to acknowledge, they’d pulled off the road and held their breaths, paranoid that they were being followed, only to laugh at themselves when no one showed up. Jimmy didn’t voice the alternative - that they were being stalked, toyed with. Will was on edge enough as it were. 

The lights were off when they pulled up. Neither were that worried - Aunt Josie had always been more of a morning person, after all. Her red pickup was still parked under the carport. As they walked up to the front door, Jimmy watched his cousin unwind, tension easing out of his muscles. Will pushed the door open - again, not worrying, they lived far enough in the country to not bother with locks - and stepped into the kitchen. The house was silent. Jimmy followed, hands in his pockets but eyes darting around the heavily shadowed room. 

Making their way deeper into the house, Will seemed to relax further and further while Jimmy felt the hairs on his neck stand up. Something felt off, but he couldn’t put his finger on what exactly was wrong. It was a somewhat similar feeling to what he would get when Frank was about to come home, full of cheap liquor and anger he’d take out on Jimmy and Sam. The air felt stale in his lungs. At the end of the hallway, the door to Aunt Josie’s bedroom was closed. 

Will was smiling as he nudged the door open. He took a deep breath, ready to call out to his mom, ready to be reassured of her health and safety. The next second he was hunched over, hands clasped over his mouth and stomach rolling. The smell of decay overwhelmed them, and Jimmy finally identified what, exactly, was wrong. 

Aunt Josie was laying on the ground near her bed, an archaic bullet hole through her chest. The light grey rug under her body was stained dark brown with old blood. While Will clung to the doorframe, trying desperately to keep his dinner down, Jimmy stumbled forward to her side. He’d always heard that people were peaceful in death, but Aunt Josie looked as distraught as she’d been when he last saw her, through a school bus window, two weeks ago. Her body was breaking down, past rigor mortis and well along in the bloating process. Deep tan skin was now motley green. The stink of rotting meat and excrement and who knew what else was thick in the air, having been trapped in the room with her. Dark liquid covered the wood floor, leaking out from her body, more fluid than one would expect from a corpse. If he looked closely, which he tried not to, he could see the small movement of maggots and cadaverous bugs within her small wound and under the skin. 

Saliva pooled in Jimmy’s mouth and he turned away, stumbling out of the room before collapsing to his knees and retching. Will staggered after him, pale and sweating. Neither of them said a word for the longest time. Will was barely breathing, not making a sound as tears pooled in his eyes and ran, silently, down his cheeks. 

“How long has she been dead?” he finally whispered, choking on the word.

Jimmy hated how his mind automatically went through the stages of decomposition, hated how for a split second he could objectively analyze how far along the body (his aunt, not the body, it was his aunt lying there) was. He was barely aware of his lips moving and the words coming out of his mouth. “It takes around eight days for discoloration to start. She’s probably been… for over a week.” 

“Fuck.”

It took another ten minutes for either of them to move. Jimmy pulled himself to his feet, dragged his cousin behind him, and made his way towards the front door. Will didn’t make a sound as he was led along, eyes unfocused and staring into the distance. It was past midnight at this point, and Jimmy knew they had to get going if they wanted to avoid being caught out. As he passed the kitchen table, a stack of mail caught his attention and he grabbed them, curious, glancing over the words. 

‘In response to your request… Cannot supply more rations… Distress signal…’

Jimmy swallowed and stuffed the papers in his coat pocket without a second thought. 

Will was still unresponsive when they reached the stolen car, and without a second thought Jimmy shoved him into the passenger seat before climbing behind the wheel. Driving this old thing couldn’t be more difficult than the corvette, and this time he wasn’t trying to run from Frank and the cops and Riverside. Jimmy didn’t spare a second to glance in the rearview mirror as he pulled away from the farmhouse. If he did, he wouldn’t have been able to leave. 

It was only when they got close to town that Jimmy noticed they were being tailed. At first he thought it was a figment of his paranoid imagination. It was barely there, in the corner of his eye, and his cousin was of no help in differentiating real from fabricated. Will hadn’t spoken a word since the farmhouse. Jimmy stepped on the gas a hair and fixed his eyes on the road in front of him, ignoring the tingling in the back of his mind. 

Jimmy pulled off on the side of the road and stared out the back window. He’d seen it again, bigger and more obvious. He was 85% sure there really was something out there, in the black of Tarsus night. Either way, he wasn’t too keen on getting caught, so they would be legging it through the woods the rest of the way back. He hopped out of the car and led Will behind him into the dense forest. He'd finally started responding when Jimmy asked him questions, and could see his surroundings well enough to avoid low hanging branches.

“Come on, we’ve got to go, they’re behind us Will, we’ve got to hide,” Jimmy panted in his cousin’s ear. They were making far too much noise, stepping on twigs and getting slapped by branches. He just hoped they could get far enough ahead of the people stalking them, out of hearing range and back to school before sunrise.

 Just as the thought crossed his mind, he heard boots stomping through the undergrowth after them. “Hey! Where’d you go? You know the punishment for breaking curfew, it’ll hurt less if you just stop running!” The overt threat of pain and punishment sent a chill down Jimmy’s spine and he couldn't let himself get lost in memories of Frank, he had to get his cousin back to safety. He grit his teeth and made a conscious effort to be quieter, shushed Will when he spat a curse at a vine that tangled around his leg but it was too late. Bright flashlight beams cut through the greenery and into Will’s face and shouts filled the air. 

Then they are running through the woods, abandoning all hope at subtlety and there are crashing footsteps behind them, the high pitched whine of phaser blasts and deep voices calling out promises of pain, and - 

Will trips over a branch, twists his ankle, and Jimmy hauls his cousin up and behind him. He’s limping and leaning heavily on the younger boy but Jimmy clings tight to him. He won’t lose more of his family, he won’t, not after Sam, he can help Will, it’s not too much further to the fence and if they can just lose these guards they’ll be fine.

Gunshots and phaser fire follow them, sinking into tree trunks in their wake, cutting through leaves and then they hit something definitively not wood and Will is screaming, crying, begging Jimmy to stop but he’s bleeding out all over Jimmy and it’s too much, too much, he can’t make it stop please make it stop! There’s a hole in his stomach, gaping in what little moonlight is filtering through the tree branches. Hot blood is burning his hands, his face, and he can’t put enough pressure on the wound while trying to run and he can’t stop running or they’re both dead. They’re both so, so dead.

Will is clawing at Jimmy’s hand and at first he grips it tight, trying to take some of the pain from his cousin, but he’s being slapped and Will is glaring at him with as much strength as he can muster, though it’s fading fast. Jimmy has never seen so much fire in those brown eyes until now. He’s wheezing, but he can force out a mouthful of words. “Leave me, Jimmy. You gotta get out of here.” The men are gaining on them and they don’t have much time left. Will lets himself go limp, still staring at Jimmy, shrugging out of his hold and collapsing onto the ground. He shoves him once, for good measure, when Jimmy stops moving. “Go!” Will shouts, the force of his words making blood spew from his paling lips.

 Jimmy runs. He runs, and doesn’t look back. 

[courageouslyfearless]

Dream World (Part 2) ☾ Baekhyun

Dream World (Part 2) ☾ Baekhyun

Genre: Fantasy AU

Pairing: Baekhyun X Reader

Word Count: 4.4k

Requested Tags: @itsbaekhyunsbutt​ @strawbaeri-s​ @bbyunz​

| Part 1 |

The Kingdom of Akron had changed drastically in a few months time. When news from the royal court spread through the lands asking the elves to come back home, most of them hesitated. It must be a trick, they thought, the queen must be up to something. Baekhyun knew better. The queen's sudden change of heart was Y/N's doing. She had written the happy ending she had promised. "Happy" was relative. He was content that he could ask his people to come back to Akron, begging them to trust this to be real and not some sort of plot. But deep down, Baekhyun was devastated, as this was only possible because of a woman he was never going to see again. He did his best to push these thoughts to the back of his mind so he could get through his days. But he couldn't chase away the memories that plagued his brain at night. He questioned his own sanity often; he missed her so. More often than not, he dreamed of her as well. It was his own personal prison, inside his head.

It was getting burdensome for him to pretend he wasn't completely and utterly heartbroken. His people looked up to him for guidance, he couldn't afford to show his weaknesses. But truthfully, he was finding it difficult to care as well. So eventually he made one of the toughest choices he's ever had to make; he resigned from his position as ruler of the elves, to someone far more capable, his best friend and mightiest warrior in their army, Chanyeol.

After the crowning ceremony, as his people  celebrated, he had tried to make a quiet exit from the festivities. Elves enjoyed drinking ale and playing dangerous games once inebriated. He wasn't in the mood to play them. Unfortunately, as he worked his way through the people, he kept being stopped by folks who wanted to thank him for bringing them home and ruling them after his father's death. He waved their words away, simply responding with "I didn't do much." Which was the truth, he hadn't actually done much, but he couldn't tell them that. So he kept pushing his way through to leave but once he was almost out, Chanyeol appeared in front of him. Baekhun sighed.

"I just need to get out," he said, looking up at his tall friend, hoping he'd understand.

Chanyeol's eyes studied the prince with careful thought.

"You're leaving, aren't you? It wasn't just about ruling, you don't want to be in Akron."

Baekhyun was surprised that his friend had read him so well. He gave him a small smile.

"That was a pretty good guess," he started, then his smile faded, "Everything about this place reminds me of her. I can't do it anymore. I'm going back to the mountains. I heard there's still a group of elves staying there because they don't trust the Queen. I will try to convince them that it is safe to come back." An excuse he knew, but it felt better to think of his journey as a mission and not as him giving up and running away from the memory of her.

Chanyeol read the truth in his face as clear as if he were telling him. "If that's what you need to do to feel better then do it. But you've never been a man that loses hope. Not once have I seen you surrender. Why start now?"

"What are you trying to tell me, Chanyeol? I told you there's nothing I can do. She's gone... forever." That last part hurt to say, he almost felt like he couldn't breathe every time the truth hit him.

"You were set on keeping her here once, remember? You searched high and low for a spell to do it. Then finding the ingredients," Chanyeol shuddered at the memory, "getting the troll's heart was some nasty business," he shook his head, "anyways, what I'm trying to say is, you found a way once. If you really can't live without her, then do it again. Just find another way."

Baekhyun stared at his friend. Could he do it? Could he defy the laws of nature.

"I used up all the magic," he said, defeated.

Chanyeol groaned, exasperated, "Magic doesn't just vanish from existence. It's all around us, in the trees, in the river, in every fiber and molecule of life, there is magic. It is sown into the very essence of the world. You just have to learn how to harness it. I'd start with the nymphs, if I were you."

Baekhyun thought about it. He had nothing to lose by trying. He was set on leaving Akron anyways, why not leave with some hope as company?

Finally, he smiled. At this, Chanyeol was relieved, because it was the most genuine smile he'd seen from him since he lost her. He took this as a good sign.

"Now go get your princess."

~

Meanwhile, you were wrestling with the tape that had sealed and kept safe your possessions inside the cardboard boxes. Unpacking had become quite the chore as you couldn't find the box cutter or literally anything with an edge to cut through the tape. Your new apartment looked like a war zone and you expected to come out as the victor. If only you could find something to...

"Keys, of course!"

You grabbed your set of keys dangling from the hook by the door and searched through the label on the boxes to find the ones that you wanted to open first. The one with "bedroom" written on it with a black sharpie caught your eye first. After cutting through the tape, you opened it to go through your belongings. It was mostly books and novels. You smiled, that is, until you spotted a familiar blue cover with stars on it. Your dream journal. You hadn't opened it since... well, since that time. Writing after losing him was unthinkable. There was no way you could ever write another character to life, let alone love them as you had loved him.

You reached for it now with trembling hands and a racing heart. The journal was in pretty bad shape. You had tried getting rid of it once, throwing it in a lake during your spring break vacation, hoping the tightness in your chest would subside. Watching it sink under did the opposite. You had rushed into the water to save it. To save him. Or the memory of him. That afternoon you hurried back home, to find a way to dry and save it from being completely ruined. As painful as it was, you didn't want to forget him. He wasn't part of the real world, but he was real to you.

You opened it now, for the first time, flicking through the wrinkled pages. It was still readable but only to you, the one who had written every word and sentence on it. The tightness in your chest had become a permanent resident and you no longer let it have that much control over you. You ignored it this time as well.

With tears burning in your eyes you started reading. Akron. The Queen. Baekhyun. You smiled at the part where you guys met.

The dress was too revealing, you worried, staring at your reflection in the mirror. You kept pulling up at the fabric over your bust , hoping it would show less cleavage. Your maidens hovered about with jewelry and powders and anything that could make you look more regal. The shortest one, with the dazzling smile and gentle fingers, placed a gold crown on your head. You weren't used to the weight of it. It felt awkward. You thought it made you feel off balance.

Three knocks at the door announced a new visitor.

"Come in," with the words, you also breathe in deeply, maybe a little too quickly as you become dizzy from the action. Your're still in a daze when he walks in.

Plain brown pants. Plain brown tunic. And that's all that is plain about him.

As you finally fix your eyes on his face, your heartbeat picks up its pace. His smile was the first thing that drew you in. It was playful and kind at the same time. You were confused as to how he managed that. His eyes were an ordinary brown at first glance, but the way they held your gaze was anything short of extraordinary. It felt like he could see right through you all the way down to your soul, where you kept the most private things about yourself hidden. You found yourself at a loss for words and at the widening of his smile you knew he could tell he had an effect on you.

"Your majesty," he finally spoke, "my name is Baekhyun, I was told I will have the pleasure of working as your servant from this day onward."

You will never forget the way he spoke then. As if he knew you, your heart and he was ready to take it for himself. You should've known then that he'd succeed. How could he not? He was confident, funny, kind and sometimes a little naughty as well. There was nothing predictable about him. He challenged you almost every occasion he could.

There was only one time you could recall when he was none of these things. Just one time, when his confidence left his shoulders, and his  eyes couldn't seem to find yours. You remember how quiet his voice was as he reached with trembling fingers to hold your hand for the first time. You'd been crying, reminiscing the scene at home. Your parents had been arguing. But the situation had escalated quickly. Words turned into shoving, shoving turned into objects being thrown. The next thing you saw was your mom slide across the dining room floor and into the kitchen, her body hitting the refrigerator. She'd dislocated her arm from the force. You were compelled to go to the hospital with her and lie about how she got hurt. They always made you lie for them. Once back home you'd had to clean up the broken glass and the blood stains on the floor from someone's bare feet who had walked over it.

He'd cried with you as you told him, holding you in his arms like you were his to hold. And you let him, because when everything in your world felt wrong, the warmth of his embrace was the only thing that felt right. His strength was the only thing keeping you together. Just that once did he hesitate. Only that time did he hold back. The next time you dreamed of him, he stole his first kiss from your lips. He never hesitated after that.

So how could you have stopped the beautiful force of nature that was Baekhyun from taking your heart? Just as the sun comes out every day and the moon reflects its light at night, just as everything that happens without fail, it was inevitable to fall in love with him.

But now all that was left of him was this dreadful looking journal and the memories in your head, which will wither away with time until you question if it even happened at all. His eyes will fade like the ink of your favorite purple pen on these wrinkled pages. His smile will become jaded by reality, distorted by the smudged words on a piece of paper. But the worst part was that if he felt for you as he had confessed the last time that you were together, then he was feeling as hopeless and heartbroken as you were. That thought made you sadder than anything else.

You closed the journal gently, as to not cause more damage to it. Then you walked to your room and stored it in the top drawer of the night stand by your bed. You needed to stay focused on the task at hand, which was to unpack everything still stored away in boxes. Pushing thoughts of him out of mind, you went back to work.

Once you are more or less done putting away the stuff in the kitchen, you lay down on the carpeted floor of the small living room. You had no furniture for this space yet, so it was empty. You closed your eyes slowly as they had become heavy with exhaustion. You knew if you kept it up for too long, you'd fall asleep right there. That's how tired you were. So instead, you force yourself to stand up. You decided to take a warm bath and then head out to bed.

You rarely did nice things for yourself, but candles had always been a frivolous need of yours. You lit one in the bathroom as you watched the tub fill up. Once the water was high enough, you undressed and got in the tub. You laid down, resting your head back on the wall as the candle spread the sweet aroma of coconut sunrise in the air.

At this level of relaxation, it doesn't take long for you to drift off into a soft dream.

You were surrounded by tall trees that towered over you like some kind of mythical giants. You glanced up at them, wondering if they would suddenly come to life. They didn't, but the thought that in a dream it was possible, kept you alert to your surroundings. Looking away from them, your gaze comes down to what's in front of you, a vast lake. There were tiny lights shimmering over the water, flying into the air and swirling in perfect unison like small tornadoes. It took you a few seconds to realize they weren't lights.

"Fairies," you whispered. But as if they had heard you speak, they stopped moving, and this made it easier to see their tiny little wings flapping to keep them in the air. You kept quiet and eventually they continued their flight ritual.

"Pixies, actually."

Your heart stopped. Literally, skipped a beat, painfully reminding you that it was still in your chest.

You recognized the voice. You'd know it anywhere. But you were afraid of looking back. You were afraid of hoping it was him and not see his face. You hadn't dreamed of him since the pen incident. So you stayed like that, frozen in place, fear rooting you to that spot.

After a few seconds passed by, you felt it. A hand, resting on your arm, the touch light as a feather, bringing goosebumps across your skin.

"You said writing was the only thing getting you through tough times, how have you survived this long without it?"

You took a deep breath, still unable to move but ready to respond anyways.

"I can't write another you."

That was all you could say. You knew he'd understand the implication of your words. You couldn't risk loving anyone else. You couldn't risk forgetting him. Or replacing him. You wanted your heart to be his and no one else's.

"Then write me again. Write about all the moments we should've lived together. Write me into life."

What was he saying? Why did he want you to torture yourself by writing about him?

"But it hurts," you find yourself saying, tears welling up under your eyes.

"I know, princess, I know. But I need you to write me as if I was never gone."

You turned around then, half expecting to find him standing there, but you were met by a rush of wind that carried his last words as a whisper.

"Write me."

You woke up from the dream in a start, looking around your bathroom like he might appear there from thin air. But as reality set in, your heart sank. Of course he would never be there. Even in the dream you couldn't see him. You brushed away a stray tear from your cheek. He wanted you to write him. About him. You didn't know if it was really him or just your brain playing games with you again, but it was the only sign you'd received from him in months. You wanted to believe it was really him. Your broken heart needed to hope it was him.

So that night you wrote him. Every detail. Every habit. Every look. The way that his lips taste. The hint of gold in his eyes when sunlight washed over his face. The feel of his hand on your cheek. Anything that you could remember about him.

You also wrote about moments that never happened. You wrote him as someone who walked in the real world, facing your kind of problems. Working a 9 to 5 to pay the bills. Running to the corner store to get you that chocolate ice cream you'd been craving since the week started. Eating ramen several times a week when money was tight. Sitting on the couch, the T.V. on in the background as he watched your face  instead of the screen. You wrote about anything you could think of. Anything that you wished you could do with him. You painted his image with vivid and ordinary description, because you wished to live the simplest and most common every day moments with him.

You lost track of time again, as you often did when you were writing. Your hand ached by the time you stopped. You could feel the beginnings of a blister on your middle finger from where you'd been holding the pen with fierce purpose. The shot of adrenaline that hearing his voice gave you had fueled you for hours. But now exhaustion was pulling at your eyelids, making it hard to keep them open. With a sigh, you laid down in bed and hid your body under the covers. You fell asleep then, staring at the ceiling, hugging your journal close to your chest and with a wish in your mind to meet him in your dreams again.

But no such thing happen. You had a dreamless and uneventful night. When you woke up, it was from the sunlight hitting your face because in your tiredness you had forgotten to close the blinds to your windows.

"Stupid sun," you mumbled at your pillow. Covering you face with a blanket to give your eyes time to adjust to the brightness.

"What did the sun ever do to you, princess?"

You froze. Literally, stopped moving in your bed at the sound of his voice.

I've finally lost it, you thought, I've finally lost my mind.

That must be the only explanation. His voice, had been so clear it almost sounded like he was next to you. Writing about him last night must have driven you over the edge. You laughed at yourself and where your imagination had taken you. It wasn't funny, but still you laughed, because there was nothing left for you but to do so, or you'd end up in tears.

"I missed your laugh," you heard the voice again.

This time you didn't laugh. You couldn't. The voice was closer and with the tone you were able to visualize what his face would look like as he spoke. He'd be cupping your face in his hands, his eyes holding yours as if to project his honesty through that one look. It was such a beautiful image the one in your brain, that you could couldn't move to confront it. If you indeed had lost your mind, at least you'd have his words to keep you company.

"Y/N." This was the second time you had ever hear him call you by your name and upon hearing it, your heart did somersaults. You pulled the blanket down, ever so slowly, afraid of meeting an empty space besides you.

But it wasn't empty. Baekhyun laid there, on the side of the bed that was always unoccupied. Until now.

You felt your eyes widening, but you couldn't open your mouth to speak. You didn't know what to say. You were speechless.

Baekhyun smiled as you stared at him. Reaching a hand to touch your face. His touch was warm against your skin. You almost closed your eyes to enjoy the sensation, but you were afraid that he'd be gone when you opened your eyes again. So you kept staring at him, but finally found the will to speak.

"Is this a dream?"

He smiled wider, his eyes twinkling with mischief as he moved closer to you. He only stopped when his face was an inch away from yours. Your breath caught in your throat with the proximity. He was so close you caught a whiff of a woodsy scent that you remembered as exclusively his from your time in Akron.

"Baek-"

Before you could finish saying his name, he trapped your lips with his in a kiss. You didn't want to close your eyes. You didn't want to end the fantasy. But he kissed you fervently and you found yourself losing the will quickly as you kissed him back as desperately. His hand moved under the blanket that covered you and found your waist, pulling your body closer from there until it was completely against his.

As quickly as he started the fire, as swift he was about putting it out when he stopped kissing you. You almost whined in protest and he chuckled in response.

"Does that feel real enough to you?" he asked.

You opened your eyes to meet his beautiful brown ones. The sun was hitting them just the right amount and you could see your reflection in them. You pressed a hand to his face, touching him for the first time.

"How is this possible?" You wanted to ask other questions too, but this was the most important one. "You told me... you told me you used all the magic in Akron. That I would never return once I left."

He smiled, that smile of his that you loved. The one that made him look years younger than he is. His playful smile. "There is always more magic to be found and to be created. A friend reminded me of that. You couldn't come back to me, so I came to you instead."

Your heart was beating so fast that you wondered how it didn't just stop working. There was no way it was healthy for it do that every time you were with Baekhyun. You were still confused and he was being very vague.

"But how did you do it?" you pressed.

He reached for your hand, the one still touching his face and intertwined your fingers with a look of awe in his eyes.

"I didn't. You did," he paused, his gaze meeting yours, "you actually wrote me to life".

You thought he must be kidding, so you waited for the punchline. But his one never came. He was serious.

"I did what?!"

He smiled at you with so much fondness, seeing you as confused as you were.

"You wrote me to life, Y/N. First in your dreams and now here."

"You're real? Like real real?" you knew you sounded idiotic, but it was something hard to wrap your head around.

Baekhyun was a character to a story that you poured a lot of love and time into. Some writers like to say that their characters have a life of their own. But it's just an expression, it's supposed to mean they basically write themselves. They come without effort. But what he is saying is very different. What he is saying sounds so incredibly crazy yet wonderful and though you don't want to let yourself feel hopeful, a seed had taken root in your heart. A seed that you hoped would bloom into reality, a reality where you could live a life of happiness with the one you love.

You knew he could see it on your face, what you were thinking and what you were feeling. So he finally stopped being cryptic.

"I am real. While you wrote me and created a connection between me and the real world, I had one created from Akron to here. The field with the lake where I spoke to you last night, well, the water pixies conjured a portal from our side and you fabricated one from this side, through your journal. Now I can come and go as long as you don't destroy the journal."

He was being truthful, not a note of humor in his expression. You couldn't believe it. It was something out of a fantasy novel. Before you knew it, tears were clouding your vision. Baekhyun reacted as quickly as usual, out of pure instinct, arm draped protectively around your body. You hid your face in the crook of his neck to hide your crying face from him.

"I can't believe I get to live with you." You words are strained with emotion, but you say them anyways.

"I can't believe I get to love you," he says in return. "I thought... I thought I'd lost you forever." His voice cracked at the end. This made you pull back to look at his face. You were surprised to see him crying as well. You knew his pain and that sense of loss because you had felt it yourself.

"Baekhyun." You didn't know what else to say.

"I love you, princess. In Akron and here, in a world I know nothing about."

You smiled at this. The most genuine smile you had ever smiled before. You finally let yourself think about a future with him, because for the first time, it was possible.

"I love you too. I can't wait to teach you all about it. There's a lot you'll love and... well, like you told me once, it's not all rainbows and butterflies."

He smiled at that and you did as well.

Overcome with emotion you kiss him again. Because you can. Because you thought you would never get to do it again. You kiss him and he kisses you back. You both try to project how much love and devotion you have for each other. Your love is literally one from stories. Made up. But more real than anything you had ever experienced in your life. And now you will get to live it and test it and maybe even get that happy ending people like to dream about.

____________________________________

* Masterlist *

____________________________________

A/N: So that came out very meh. But also I always think that about the stuff I write so it’s probably me being a perfectionist. Anyways, hope you still enjoyed it! Thank you so much for the support and love you showed for this random idea I had that turned into this story. Love you guys!

[freddiesaysalright]

The Most Dramatic Season Ever - Week 8 - The Finale

Summary: It’s your time now! You are ABC’s new Bachelorette and this is your journey! All these men (including our fav BoRhap boys and then some) are competing for your heart! Will you find love? Will you get engaged at the end? Or will you end up heartbroken? Find out, on the most dramatic season ever!

Word Count: 6.7K

Tag List:  @psychosupernatural, @someone-get-a-medic​, @bensrhapsody​, @deakyclicks​, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession​, @minigranger​, @crazyweirdocalledfriday​, @the-moving-finger-writes​, @assembledherethevolunteers​, @rose-writes-prose​, @queenlover05​, @moon-stars-soul​, @danadeacon​, @deacyblues​, @thesundrop​, @cupidben​, @lostlittlenerd​, @delilahmay39​, @timmvrphy​, @queenmylovely​, @loveandbeloved29​, @free-pool-trash​, @fairestkillerqueenofall​, @local-troubled-writer​, @babyalienfairy​, @littlecarowrites​, @allthethingsicant​, @im-an-adult-ish​, @mirkwoodshewolf​, @squishy-gay-astronaut​, @sherlollydramoine​, @butlegendsneverdie​, @dogmom2014​, @rocketrhap917​, @26-7-49​, @lelifesaver​, @frozenhuntress67​, @drowsebaby​, @mrhoemazzello​, @lookuptotheskiesandsee​, @seasidecrowbar​ If you’d like to be added, let me know!

A/N: Alright, Y/N finally chooses! The fic isn’t quite over because there’s still the After the Final Rose! Find out if Y/N is still happy since filming ended AND find out who the next Bachelor is!

Warning(s): This chapter features an anxiety attack. As well a bunch of mushy love stuff.

Night 1  Week 1  Week 2  Week 3  Week 4  Week 5  Week 6  Week 7  The Men Tell All

Week 8/Finale here we go!!!

The next part of the journey took you to the South Island, in Queenstown. It was a smaller city, but breathtakingly beautiful. Imagining yourself getting engaged here was easy. The hard part was who you imagined getting down on one knee. You felt like your heart was being torn clear in half between Ben and Joe. 

“I am in love with two men,” you said to the camera. “I had a feeling this is how the journey would go, but I didn’t think it was going to be this hard. I have really clear pictures of what my future would be like with each of these men, and I’m struggling...I don’t know what’s going to happen right now, and it’s really scary.”

Your accommodations in your hotel were stunning. You had a great view of the skyline. But it was difficult to appreciate knowing that the end was near and you were going to break someone’s heart. Maybe even your own. As you looked out over Queenstown, your stomach dropped at the thought.

After a day to recover from travel, you had your first date. It was with Ben. You were meeting him at a marina for a cruise around Lake Wakatipu. He beamed at you when he caught sight of you, and your heart soared. For a little while, you could just focus on him and not worry about this process.

“Hi!” you called as he reached you.

He picked you up into his arms and spun you around as you laughed.

“Hello, love,” he returned after setting you down.

Then he planted a kiss on your lips that told you just how much he had missed you.

“So today, we’re taking a relaxing cruise around Lake Wakatipu,” you told him. “It’s a beautiful day to be on the water.”

“It is,” he agreed.

The sun shone brightly, making the lake look like glass in motion. Ben took your hand and helped you onto the boat that was at the dock. The captain took you all slowly out of the marina before hitting the open water. Still, his pace was even and steady, since you and Ben were toward the bow, sitting on pillows, drinks in hand. 

“Cheers to a lovely day,” he said. “With the loveliest woman in the world.”

“Cheers,” you replied with a grin.

You kissed before taking your sips.

The lake was stunning. The water was a perfect, crystal shade of blue. The surrounding mountains were lush with foliage, still blooming from the summer warmth. The sun beat down, but there was a soft breeze to keep you cool. 

“So, tell me how you’re feeling going into this week,” you said after swallowing the crisp champagne.

“I’m feeling great,” he told you. “I think we’ve come such a long way, and...well, I love you, Y/N. That’s all I really can say. I’m not great with words.”

You giggled. “Ben, you’re fine. I love you too. I’m really happy with where we are.”

“You sure there’s nothing else you need from me?” he asked.

“Not a thing,” you said. “Just keep being honest and loving me, and I’ll do the same for you, okay?”

“You’ve got a deal,” he said.

You kissed on it. 

The rest of the cruise was beautiful. The New Zealand scenery never ceased to amaze you. And the fact that you were experiencing it with Ben made the vision all the sweeter. You had a little Titanic moment on the ship. His arms around you made you feel like you could remain in them always. Your future with him seemed as bright and limitless as the horizon. 

The afternoon came to a close and it was time to prepare for the evening portion of the date. As you put your makeup on, you found yourself thinking about Joe. Would your time with him be as pleasant and productive as Ben’s? If so, what would you do? If not, could you really let him go? You needed more clarity. 

Ben: I’m in love with Y/N. I’m ready to propose to her. I know she’s the person I’m meant to love forever. I can’t put my finger on how I know it, I just...know it. 

You met Ben at his hotel room. His adoring smile greeted you before his arms did. You inhaled his scent for a moment as you whispered intimate hellos. Then he stepped back and allowed you inside. 

The room was decorated nicely. Candles lit across the surfaces. Champagne chilled and ready. It was all so perfect. You toasted to each other before sipping the champagne. 

“It looks nice in here, Ben,” you praised. “Is it always this clean?”

“I’m actually quite a tidy person, so yeah,” he chuckled. “Come on, let’s sit down and relax.”

You followed him to the couch, where he poured you each a glass of wine. You took sips and then set the glass aside to take his hand in yours. You tried to smile.

“So, tell me what you’re feeling,” you said. “Other than loving me.”

“I mean, I am nervous about later this week,” he said. “The thought of proposing to you doesn’t really scare me, but the fact that there’s someone else here who also wants that….that’s terrifying to think about.”

You sighed. “I know it’s scary, Ben, but this is all part of the process.”

“I know,” he said. “I know what I signed up for. But that doesn’t make it any easier. My heart’s on the line, Y/N. You’re the first woman I’ve ever really loved. You’re the only woman I ever want to love. You must understand why it makes me so uneasy.”

“I know, and I do,” you told him, interlocking your fingers with his. “I love you too. I’m struggling with this too. I want you to understand that you’re not alone in being scared and nervous. This isn’t any easier for me.”

“We are both struggling, but in different ways,” he said. “I know you don’t want to hurt me or Joe. You’re an incredibly kind person - it’s one of the things I admire most about you - but you were right when you said it’s part of the process.”

You nodded. “I’m sorry you’re hurting.”

“I’m sorry you are,” he returned.

“At least we have each other,” you tried to joke.

He let out a small laugh, but then looked seriously at you.

“Look, Y/N, this process is not something either of us really thought would be this difficult,” he said. “But no matter what happens - good or bad - I will always be grateful to have met you.”

You held his eyes as your own began to shine with emotion.

“You’ve shown me what it is to really fall in love,” he said. “And I know you understand how special that is.”

“Ben…”

A tear slid down your cheek and then he gathered you up in his arms, pulling you onto his lap. He held you there for a long moment. Neither of you spoke, weighing the gravity of the situation. Because the next time you saw each other, you would either be getting engaged or breaking up. 

“I know you can’t promise me anything,” he said. “But I wanted to share what was on my heart. I love you very much.”

“I love you too, Ben,” you replied softly.

The rest of the evening was spent on lighter subjects. You were glad both your feelings were out in the open, and that you each understood how hard this was on both sides of it. Ben made sharing so easy, and you ached for a longer week. More time to explore what was there. But you also considered that would make things harder. You stood to leave, Ben’s hand still in yours as he walked you to the door.

“Good night, love,” he said.

“Good night,” you returned.

He placed a gentle kiss on your lips. His hand fell slowly away from yours. Your skin felt cold without the contact of his. Your eyes lingered on each other. 

Without another word, you turned and walked down the hallway. You heard his door click shut. As difficult as that conversation was, you were relieved you had it. Your heart was now looking forward to your date with Joe. There was a twinge of fear that Joe’s date would make your decision all the more difficult.

The next day,  you had your date with Joe. You were meeting him at Gibbston Valley Winery. It was a bright, sunny day, so the fields looked bright green and lovely. You grinned at Joe as he approached you, taking you into his arms and kissing you deeply. You hummed into it, feeling content and happy.

“Hi there,” you said brightly.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he returned.

“I’ve missed you too,” you assured him. “I’m glad we have this day together.”

“What are we getting up to?” he wondered.

“We are at Gibbston Valley Winery,” you told him. “We are going to take a tour and taste some wine.”

“Sounds like a classy day for me and my classy lady,” he joked.

You laughed. “Come on, you goof.”

Joe never failed to make you smile. Today, as he took your hand and led you inside, was no different. You found it easy to let go of your apprehensions and just enjoy your time with him.

Your guide first took you out to the field and showed you how they grew the grapes. They showed you how they collected them and juiced them before taking them to be fermented. They took you next to the wine cave, where there were barrels and bottles all over the place. It looked like something out of another world. Like the cellar of an old castle or something.

Your guide led you all through the “cave,” explaining how the wine was organized and how they chose which barrels were ready for bottling. When you got to the bottles, he had you stop, and he picked one up. It was a deep red wine and the label was blank.

“This bottle was finished today,” he said. “Remind me your names, and we’ll put it on the bottle to commemorate your special day.”

“Joe and Y/N,” you said.

The guide wrote it out in a surprisingly beautiful script across the label. 

“Before we cork it, would you like to try it?” he offered.

“Absolutely,” said Joe.

The guide grabbed two glasses, and poured about a gulp into each. You and Joe made a small “cheers” and then took the sip. It was smooth, fruity, and rich in flavor. It warmed you from the inside out, which made you think it was the perfect wine to be made for you and Joe.

“What d’you think?” the guide asked.

“It’s amazing,” you said upon swallowing. 

“I agree,” Joe added. “This is the best red I’ve had in a while.”

“Tell you what,” the guide said. “I’m gonna cork this bottle and save it for you. We’ll keep it until your next special occasion.”

“How sweet,” you said. “We’ll save it for our wedding.”

You looked at Joe and beamed. An expression he shared. 

“We’re looking forward to it,” the guide said. “I’ll go take care of this, you two head to the bar, get something to drink, have a chat, and good luck to you.”

“Thank you,” Joe replied.

The guide took your glasses with him to be washed, and you and Joe headed over to the bar. You ordered two glasses of wine and then went back outside to enjoy the sunshine and the view. Joe pulled out a chair for you at one of the tables and you sat across from each other. He offered his hand, which you took.

“I like learning stuff like this,” he said. “It gives me so many ideas for the restaurant.”

“I bet,” you said. “You guys sell beer and wine there, right?”

“Oh yeah,” he said. “Although, our wine is always Italian given the nature of the place.”

You giggled. “That’s right.”

“Never tell my mother this, but I think New Zealand wine is just as good,” he joked.

“Your secret is safe with me,” you returned. “I’ll never tell Virginia what a traitor her son is.”

He feigned offense before sipping his wine with a soft smile.

“Are you really into wine?” you wondered.

“I love wine,” he said. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I also love sharing a cold one with the boys or whatever, but there’s a sort of romance to wine that I really like. My dad once took the whole family to Rioja to see the wineries out there, and I gotta say, it was amazing.”

“Rioja?” you questioned. “That’s in Spain.”

“I know, we were making an exception,” he said with a shrug. “We’d already seen a few in Italy.”

“Your mom told me about some of the trips you all used to take,” you said. “I thought it was amazing that your parents shared experiencing the world with you and your siblings.”

“It’s definitely something I want to do with my kids,” Joe said.

“I gotta tell you, Joe, a future with you is so clear to me,” you blurted out. “I see it. The marriage, the kids, the house, life at the restaurant. God, it’s as clear to me as your face right now.”

“How does it make you feel?” he asked.

“Happier than I even knew I was capable of feeling,” you said.

“If you let me,” he said, holding your gaze. “I’d like to make you feel that way every day for the rest of your life.”

You sucked in a sharp breath, but didn’t look away. There, in his eyes, you saw the promise he was making to you. Joe was telling you that you could expect a proposal from him. You struggled to form a response. You could not yet promise him acceptance of a proposal. Happy as you were here, there was still Ben, who mattered a great deal to you.

Joe: What Y/N and I have is so amazing. I love her so much. I just want to get down on one knee and propose already! Right here at the winery, I don’t even care!

“Joe,” you said through a sigh. “I love you.”

It felt like a meek response considering the implications of his statement. Even so, he smiled.

“I love you too,” he said. “I didn’t mean to put you on the spot or anything. I just want you to know where I’m at.”

God, he read you so well.

“I’m glad to know that,” you said. “I wish I could tell you where I’m at. I feel really confused right now…”

“I know that you are facing an impossible decision,” he said. “Just do whatever it is you need to do to figure out what is going to make you happiest. I’ll support you one hundred percent.”

“Thank you,” you said.

“Now, let’s relax, enjoy the wine, the sun, and each other,” he said.

You smiled and agreed. As you looked at Joe in the low afternoon glow, you saw everything you had ever wanted. Passion, fun, kindness, family. Joe was all of these things and more. As if sensing your desire to be closer, he leaned over the table and kissed you. Everything about Joe, from his words to his deeds, promised you the life you had always dreamed of.

When the time came for the evening portion, you met Joe - like you had with Ben - at his hotel room. His suite was similar to Ben’s but with a different layout. There were fewer candles and more items a bit askew, but it was still neat.

As you snuggled up together on his couch, your mind felt uneasy. You needed to know more about how he was feeling about the following day. The big day.

“Joe,” you said. “Aren’t you a little nervous about tomorrow?”

“Of course I am,” he said. “It could either be the best or the worst day of my life. But I don’t want to complain to you, when it’s you who has the big decision to make.”

“You can complain, I wanna know what’s going on in your heart,” you said. 

“Okay,” he said simply. “I’m scared sh*tless that I’m going to find out tomorrow that as great a relationship as we have, things are better with him. That as much as you see our future, you prefer the one he can give you. That as much as you love me, you love him more.”

You opened your mouth to dispute each statement, but closed it again.

“I know that this is what it is,” he said. “Of course I’m afraid. But those fears are the same as any other relationship. You take a risk when you fall in love. I’m fully willing to put my heart on the line if it means even the chance of having you forever, Y/N.”

Tears stung your eyes. Your heart was beginning to break because suddenly the choice before you was so obvious. You wanted Joe with every part of your being. But that meant you were going to have to break Ben’s heart. And just the thought of it was about to crumble you.

“I love you,” you told him again.

You took his face between your hands, sat up on your knees, and rested your forehead against his. You both closed your eyes as you breathed in this moment.

“I love you,” you said again, this time in a low whisper.

“I love you,” he breathed back.

You could not tell him that you were choosing him, and this was a very serious rule, so you tried to convey to him some assurance through your touch. You just hoped he felt it.

You did not remain with Joe much longer. You needed to get some rest before the big day coming in the morning. He walked you to the door and hugged you for a long moment. He thought he felt you reassure him, but a small part of him still feared you would not choose him. So he held you a little longer. In case it was the last time.

“Good night,” you said.

“Good night,” he returned, pressing his lips to your forehead.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” you said.

“Tomorrow,” he said.

You kissed once more, Joe’s lips lingering just slightly. Then it really was goodnight. How you ached to tell him not to worry. But you couldn’t. 

You started down the hall, and your mind went to Ben. You couldn’t imagine the look on his face if he showed up tomorrow with a ring and tried to propose. It would be too hard for Joe to follow up and for you to enjoy that moment. To protect Ben and yourself, you looked at your producer, Laurie.

“I need to speak to Ben,” you said. “Tonight.”

She blinked. “You’ve made your decision?”

“I have,” you said. “I can’t put him through a proposal. Not when he’s already given everything.”

“Okay, let’s go to his room,” she said. 

Heart pounding, you led the way down the hall to the elevator. Ben’s room was two floors below Joe’s. But upon reaching the elevator, you found you couldn’t be still. So, you headed to the stairwell instead. You began to rush down the stairs, desperate to reach him and get the hard part over with. Light as your legs felt, your heart felt like lead. It was crying out already with the wound it knew was coming. 

Two flights down. You hardly noticed the crew around you as you swept down toward that dreaded doorway. You reached it and came to a dead stop. For some reason, you stood there frozen. All you had to do was knock, but you couldn’t even lift your fist to do it. 

“Y/N?” said Laurie gently. “Are you sure this is what you want to do?”

You nodded slowly. “It’s going to be hard.”

“Yes,” she said. 

“It’s going to be painful,” you said. 

“Yes,” she repeated. “If you want to wait until tomorr-”

“No,” you said firmly. “I’ve already taken his first time being in love. I will not also rob him of his first proposal.”

Resolute, you finally rapped your knuckles against the door. You heard his footsteps approaching and you swallowed hard. It was difficult since your mouth was rapidly going dry. 

“Y/N!” Ben gasped with a smile when the door disappeared and was replaced with his form. “What are you doing here?”

“Can we talk?” you asked.

You met his gaze, and he saw the trouble in your eyes. His brow furrowed. 

“What’s the matter?” he questioned. 

Tears were threatening to overwhelm you. 

“Can we talk?”

“Sure, come in.”

He stepped aside and allowed you through the door. He followed you into the living area, but neither of you sat down. Ben braced himself, but he still was completely unprepared for the words that came out of your mouth. 

“It’s not you,” you sobbed. 

His whole body stiffened with the shock. Tears streamed steadily from your eyes, smearing your makeup, but you couldn’t think about that now. He opened his mouth as if to speak, but closed it again. You watched him through watery eyes. 

“I’m so sorry,” you went on, unable to bear his silence. “But I couldn’t let you go through tomorrow and start to propose when I could spare you some hurt by telling you now. I just - oh God, Ben, please say something!”

“I…” he trailed off. It was as if you’d punched him and he was still dizzy from the impact. “I dunno...I don’t...I am completely blindsided right now, Y/N.”

“I understand,” you said. “But I know where my heart is, and I didn’t want you to have to go through all this stuff to get ready to propose when I...I wouldn’t be able to say yes to you.”

“You told me that you’re in love with me,” he said, voice shaking. “Is that still true?”

“Of course it is,” you said. “Feelings don’t just vanish. But I just -” You paused to take a breath. “You told me that I’m the first woman you’ve ever loved. I am taking away the hope you had of only loving one person forever, and I hate that I’m doing that. But I couldn’t live with myself if I took away a  proposal from you. Words that are meant for the person you are really supposed to spend the rest of your life with.”

“Up until now, I was sure that was you,” he said. 

“I’m so sorry,” you said again, voice faltering below a whisper. “But I just can’t let you propose to me. I can’t. Not when I’ve already hurt you enough.”

He sniffled and a single tear escaped to slide down his cheek. 

“You’re sure?” he croaked out. 

“Yeah,” you replied. 

He sat down, leaning on his knees and buried his face in his hands. His shoulders shook as he wept, but he quickly rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands to stop it. It broke your heart. You had never seen Ben this emotional. 

“F*ck,” he choked.

“I hope you know that what we shared was truly...extraordinary,” you said. “I have cherished getting to know you and falling in love with you. I-”

“Stop,” he said, swallowing. “Stop. Just...don’t.”

Your bottom lip began to quiver again. “Don’t you want to talk about this?”

“Not if it’s just going to be that,” he said. He blinked and more tears spilled down his face. 

You took a deep breath to steady yourself.

“Is there anything I can say?” you wondered.

“No,” he replied shortly. “There’s nothing that will make this hurt any less.”

You sat down beside him.

“I never wanted to hurt you,” you told him. “Saying goodbye to you will be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.”

“What changed?” he asked. “What made you suddenly so sure?”

“I just realized that...I could picture my life with both of you,” you said. “But he’s the one I can’t picture my life without.”

Fresh tears rolled over his cheeks.

“I see,” he said. “So, it really is….goodbye.”

You nodded. Your heart was sinking. It was beginning to pick up speed again as it resisted letting him go.

“I’m so sorry.”

There was nothing else you could say, but the words still felt pathetic. You remembered how it felt to be rejected like this, and nothing - nothing you said could make it okay. 

Suddenly, he pulled you into a tight hug. His large hands clutched your shirt as he held you impossibly close. He buried his face in your neck. You slowly coiled your arms around him too, your fingers finding his hair and combing through it. This was the last embrace.

As he began to pull away, he kissed your cheek. Your eyes fell closed to the feeling of his lips once more. Out of loyalty to Joe, neither of you went for a proper kiss. You looked into his eyes - those lovely green eyes, even red and puffy - one last time.

“Goodbye, Ben.”

“Bye.”

On unsteady feet, you rose. Slowly, your hands slipped out of his. Each step toward the door had your chest tightening with this hurt. You were going to miss him terribly. But you didn’t stop. You barely remembered opening the door and the trek down to the lobby. Awareness hit you all at once when you stepped onto the sidewalk and into the cool night air.

Your heart was beating wildly, as if trying to escape the tight confines of your chest. Your fingers began to feel numb. Your brain felt hazy and your lungs were constricting. Hot tears spilled some more down your face, and you felt them intensely. You let out a wail.

“That was so hard!” you cried. “Oh my…”

You tried to take a breath but couldn’t. Your body screamed in protest at the idea of stepping any further onto that pavement and away from Ben. You clutched at your chest, begging it to open up again.

“I can’t do this,” you wheezed. “I can’t breathe…” Your vision was beginning to blur.

“Y/N?” Laurie said, eyeing you with concern.

“I can’t breathe,” you struggled to say again. “I can’t…”

Laurie’s face disappeared behind your eyelids as you dropped to the ground.

“Y/N!” Laurie cried. “Oh, God, someone call an ambulance!”

There was a medical team that ABC had on hand, and they were the first to arrive. You were swimming in and out of consciousness, but they couldn’t manage to get you fully aware. They called for an ambulance from one of the local hospitals and just as they arrived, your eyes were fluttering open.

“Joe,” you muttered, because that was all you could think of that you wanted.

“Just relax, Y/N,” said one of the medics. “You’re still out of it, we’re going to take you to hospital.”

“Joe,” you said again, noticing how dry your throat felt.

“Who’s Joe?” he asked Laurie.

“One of the guys,” she said. 

“Is he allowed to come with her?” he wondered.

Laurie shook her head. “Afraid not.”

“Okay,” he sighed, and you thought you saw him roll his eyes. “Sorry, Y/N, but he can’t come. You’re gonna see him again soon, okay? Once we help you.”

You nodded, trying to relax as they loaded you into the back of the vehicle. 

Joe couldn’t sleep. He was too nervous about what was coming. His conversation had been good with you, and he’d felt your connection so strongly before you left. He hoped that meant you would choose him. But he couldn’t be sure and that was what scared him. Finding no rest, he got out of bed. He went into the little kitchenette of the suite and fetched some water. Outside, he saw the flashing lights of an emergency vehicle. He peeked out, but couldn’t see what was going on. He watched it speed away and he hoped whoever was inside would be okay.

Just as he set the glass in the sink and headed back toward the bedroom, there was a knock on the door. Brow furrowing with concern, he went to open it. He was shocked when he saw Chris Harrison standing there.

“Hey, Chris,” he said. “Everything okay?”

“I’ve gotta catch you up on some things, man,” Chris said. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah, sure,” Joe agreed, and he stepped aside.

As they went to the living area, Joe turned some lights on. Then he and Chris sat on the couch.

“So, what’s up?” Joe wondered.

“Y/N is at the hospital,” Chris said.

“Woah, what?!” Joe cried. “Is she okay?! What happened?!”

“She passed out,” Chris explained calmly. “From what the medics said when they looked at her, it was a severe anxiety attack paired with dehydration that caused her to faint. But she was just coming around when they took her.”

“An anxiety attack…” Joe said. “Because of tomorrow?”

“I imagine so,” Chris replied. “It looks like she’s gonna be fine. I’m sure the weight of this decision just overwhelmed her.”

“I get it,” Joe said. “It’s a big decision. Will she be staying in the hospital overnight?”

“We’re not sure yet,” Chris said. “We’ll let you know as much as we can, as soon as we can, okay?”

“Okay,” Joe said. “Thanks for telling me.”

“Of course,” Chris returned. “Try to get some sleep. And I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon for the big day.”

“Night, Chris,” Joe said.

“G’night, Joe.”

Chris showed himself out. Joe was rooted to the spot where he sat. The crew got set up around him to do an interview.

“How are you feeling, Joe?” asked his producer, Lucy.

“After hearing all that,” Joe said, voice cracking with emotion. He looked up into the camera to reveal tears in his eyes. “I’m beginning to wonder if Y/N is really ready for this.”

He took a long, shuddering breath, and he blinked back the tears.

“Excuse me, I can’t do this right now,” he said shakily.

He got to his feet and walked straight to the bedroom, closing the door on the cameras. No one was certain what the morning would bring.

You woke to the sun shining brightly in your room. Only, it wasn’t  your hotel room. You were in the hospital.

The previous night’s events began to return to you. Your marvelous date with Joe, the heartbreaking goodbye with Ben, and then the feeling of suffocating before everything went black. You vaguely remembered asking someone for Joe, but you couldn’t remember their face or who it was. You looked to your right and saw Chris Harrison asleep in the chair next to you. As much as you adored Chris, you had kind of hoped to see Joe. Then you remembered you couldn’t see Joe because you were getting engaged to him later today. You smiled.

“Chris,” you said, voice a little hoarse.

He stirred and opened his eyes. He smiled gently at you.

“Hey, Y/N,” he said. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine,” you said. “What happened?”

“After they ran some tests, the doctors confirmed it was an anxiety attack and dehydration,” he said. “They kept you overnight to hydrate you, but you should be okay to leave this morning.”

You nodded. 

“I told Joe about what happened to you,” Chris said. “But I didn’t tell him you had ended things with Ben, that didn’t feel like it was my place.”

“I appreciate it,” you said. “How’d Joe take it?”

“He was worried, of course, but I assured him you’d be fine,” Chris said. “He’ll be meeting with Neil Lane pretty soon.”

You beamed. Neil Lane was the ring designer. Your heart went out to Joe and you hoped that soon you would be getting ready to get that ring and the man of your dreams.

Joe: I only slept about an hour and a half last night. But, waking up this morning, I feel better about things. I realized that Y/N is ready for this. The reason she was affected like that was because it matters so much to her. She wants this to work so badly. If I were in her shoes, I’d probably pass out too from the pressure. All I can say is that I’m ready too. I’m ready to propose and spend my life with her if she’ll have me.

Feeling lighter, Joe went down to the patio of the hotel. Waiting for him was an older gentleman with a briefcase. Joe grinned. He knew what was in there.

“Joe?” said the man.

“Yep,” said Joe.

“Hi, I’m Neil Lane,” the man said, and they shook hands. “I’m here to help you pick a ring.”

“Thank you so much,” Joe said.

They sat down at a table where the sunlight was good so Joe could really see the rings in all their glory. Inside the briefcase were three ring boxes. Neil opened each one and let Joe look at them. They sparkled and glittered.

“Which one catches your eye?” Neil asked.

“Honestly, they’re all kind of blinding me,” Joe joked. 

Neil chuckled.

“The one on the right is a classic oval shape,” he explained. “It’s three carats. The middle is a cushion cut with a twisted band for a unique shape. It’s three and a half carats. The one on the left is a pear shape, three carats. All rings are set in platinum, and have a halo for extra sparkle.”

Joe reached for the middle one. It had his attention throughout Neil’s explanation. The cut was classic, but he really liked the shape of the band. It was special, and unlike any ring he had ever seen before. The same as you. He pulled it out of the box and examined it closer. It was clear and beautiful. Also like you. He could imagine it on your hand from this day forward.

“I like this one,” he said.

“Good eye,” Neil praised. “That was my favorite too. I know she’ll love it.”

“It’s perfect,” Joe said. “Like her.”

He returned the ring to the box, plucked it out of the briefcase, and shook Neil’s hand again. Then he returned to his room to get ready.

You left the hospital and returned to your hotel about an hour after you woke up. Your team was rushing to get you ready. You had a stunning ivory colored gown they zipped you into while the stylists put the last touches on your hair and makeup. Then, you were going to Milford Sound for the proposal.

You arrived first. Production had put together a stunning walkway out into the water where a platform sat just above the shallow water. There was a small stool there and on it was the final rose. You took a deep breath, appreciating the warm breeze and the smell of the beautiful nature around you. This was the place you would promise yourself to Joe, the love of your life, for all of your life. With that in mind, you took the first step forward.

Walking to the platform felt like it took years. You were so eager to see Joe and tell him the good news. It was just you and him from here on out. Eventually, you reached the end. You picked up the final rose and looked out over the water. The wind tossed your hair as you waited.

Joe arrived second. He stepped out of the car to make his way to where you were, but first, he met Chris Harrison.

“Chris,” he said with a smile.

“How are you, Joe?” Chris asked as they shook hands.

“Doing well, I’m excited,” Joe said. “How is Y/N?”

“She’s doing great,” Chris assured him. “In perfect health today.”

“Perfect,” Joe said.

“Have you thought about what you’re gonna say?” Chris asked.

“I have,” Joe replied. “I know what’s on my heart, and I’ll convey it to her the best I can. If I can remember it all when I see her,” he finished with a chuckle.

“Well, good luck to you, friend,” Chris said. “Go on ahead. Y/N is waiting for you.”

Joe’s feet felt like bricks as he started down the walkway. He came around the first curve and got a glimpse of you. You looked like something out of a movie. The way the breeze tossed your hair perfectly about your face. Your dress fluttered like a flower. The way you smiled when you spotted him almost made him crumple.

“Hi,” you said sweetly as he approached.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he replied, voice catching in his throat. “You’re so beautiful, Y/N.”

Your smile widened as you fell in love with him all over again. He took your hands in both of his. You gazed adoringly into his eyes.

“Y/N, I knew going into this journey that I was taking a risk,” he began. “A big one. But I never imagined how great the reward would be. I wanted to find love, but what I’ve found in you is beyond that. You have become not only my love, but my best friend. You are the first person I want to see when I wake up in the morning, and the last person I want to talk to before bed each night. A day without you is impossible to imagine. I love you more than I ever thought I could love a person. And I promise you, Y/N, if you let me, I will show you that love every day for the rest of my life.”

You blinked back tears as you smiled at him.

“Joe,” you said. “All my life, I’ve wanted one thing, and that’s a family. A partner who is as devoted to me as I am to him. A man who I respect, admire, and adore. And who makes me laugh.” You both giggled a bit at that. “You have shown me all of that and more. You make me feel so safe and secure, but also excited. You make me feel loved and desired. But you also make me feel like I’m a part of you. And we can be our own little family. I love you, Joe. And I only want to love you from now on.”

He laughed with relief and squeezed your hand.

“I guess there’s only one more thing left to do,” he said.

With that, he released your hand and sank down to one knee. You let out a delighted squeal as he reached into his coat pocket and retrieved a ring box. Then he opened it and presented you with the most gorgeous ring you had ever seen in your life. It was like something right out of your dreams. You gasped and clapped your hand over your mouth.

“Y/N Y/L/N, will you marry me?” 

“Yes, Joe Mazzello, I will marry you!”

Both you and Joe were a mix of laughing and crying. Happy tears were leaking out, but neither of you cared. Joe took the ring out and slipped it onto your awaiting finger. 

“Oh my God!” you cried as you watched.

It fit perfectly. You grabbed Joe and tugged him to his feet so you could kiss him. His lips felt different because they were your fiance’s lips. His arms held you different because they were your fiance’s arms. All of him was different because he was your fiance. Just as you were his.

“I love you!” you cried when you parted.

“I love you!” he returned with equal enthusiasm.

“Oh, wait, there’s one more thing!” you gasped.

His brow furrowed with confusion as he watched you walk back over to the little table. He bit back a laugh when you picked up the rose. You returned to him.

“Joe,” you said, cheeks aching from how hard you were smiling. “Will you accept this rose?”

“Forever,” he assured you.

You giggled and pinned it to his jacket. Your ring caught the light as you did, and you could have squirmed with the thrill.

“Forever,” you repeated.

He took your face in his hands and started toward you for another kiss.

“Forever.”

As you kissed him, you thanked the universe for this journey. As dramatic and tumultuous as it was, as often as you felt heartbroken and helpless, it led you here. To forever with Joe. The life of your dreams awaited you.

[mst3kproject]

She Freak

Oh, boy, this is going to be a fucking delight.  If the 1932 movie Freaks were Invasion of the Saucer Men, She Freak would be Attack of the The Eye Creatures.  Freaks is a very troubling movie, but it does go to great effort to present the denizens of the sideshow as human beings who can be loving, greedy, heartbroken, or naïve as much as anyone else, and who find family in each other when the rest of the world rejects them – and must be very careful who they let into that club.  The horror of the story is derived as much from their predicament as from the fate of Cleopatra.  She Freak is… not like that.

A woman named Jade Cochrane works at a little diner somewhere in the south, quietly (and sometimes not-so-quietly) enduring sexual harassment from both the customers and her married boss.  Wanting more out of life, she quits her job and goes looking for work at a passing carnival, which she figures will at least allow her to travel.  From there she sets her sights on marrying Steve St. John, the owner of the freak show and the richest man connected with this community. Unfortunately for everybody around her, even this very moderate form of power corrupts Jade to the core, and after too much of her mistreatment, the sideshow stars take a horrible revenge!

The opening sequence is a bunch of carnival footage in which everybody looks bored, worryingly reminiscent of both Carnival Magic and MUZ.  Even worse, quite a bit of it is shot by somebody sitting on a moving ferris wheel or other midway ride.  I’ve never been able to enjoy midway rides because I get motion sickness (I can’t see J. J. Abrams movies in theatres for the same reason), so this was not a fun experience for me, even on my tiny laptop screen.  It goes on way too long, and most of it doesn’t even have any credits over it.  Crow would have fled to go throw up in a corner.

The moment I knew She Freak belonged on MST3K, however, is this shot:

What the hell does that sign say?  YHJCY A+ FTJB?  What does it mean?  Is it an acronym?  A secret code?  An in-joke? A message to or from aliens?  That would have fascinated Mike and the ‘bots.  They’d have built a whole host sketch around that sign.

She Freak is tooth-rattlingly bad in many different ways.  I don’t know what any of the people in it think they’re doing but it sure isn’t acting.  It’s relentlessly padded, full of pointless footage of putting the midway up, taking the midway down, putting the midway back up again, and carnival-goers wandering around looking dazed.  At one point we have to watch a stripper do her act, to a chorus of background hooting and applause that sure isn’t coming from the bored-to-shit audience we see.  Most of the film feels like nothing is happening, and then what ought to have been the entire plot is crammed into the last fifteen minutes.

The one place where there is a glimmer of competence is in a couple of quite nice directing choices.  There’s a scene where Jade leaves her new husband with his buddies and sneaks off to bang the guy who runs the ferris wheel, Blackie (don’t worry, he’s white. She Freak has a little person called ‘Shorty’, but to my relief it wasn’t tasteless enough to cast a character named ‘Blackie’ as an African American) that makes a very good use of shadows to tell us what’s going on in two places at once.  Pity the film stock is so crappy it almost ruins it.  I also liked how Jade’s scenes with Blackie have proper dialogue, while Steve woos her in a series of montages.  Jade wants to spend time with Blackie, while her marriage to Steve is something she goes through the motions of and gets out of the way.

She Freak really has no right to tout itself as a remake of Freaks, for the simple reason that it isn’t even about the sideshow.  The older movie had characters like Hans the dwarf and Daisy and Violet the conjoined twins, who were people with relationships and roles in the plot.  In She Freak we never even see the sideshow that so upsets Jade in an early scene.  There’s Shorty, the little guy in a cowboy hat who works for the carnival, but when we see him he’s acting like he’s Steve’s friend and assistant rather than one of the exhibits.  An armless woman and a few people in funny makeup appear at the climax, but we’ve never seen them before and we have no idea who they are.  Where the hell is the ‘Alligator Girl’ the banners promised?

It’s probably all for the best.  If there had been any ‘unusual people’ with major roles in the movie it would doubtless have treated them in a disgusting and exploitative manner.  But what’s on screen shouldn’t even pretend to be a remake of Freaks.

As the owner of the sideshow, Steve insists that he cares about his employees and considers them ‘human beings, just like you and me’. He tells Jade that many of them came from abusive homes, and that in his show they’re able to earn a living and be around others who won’t judge them.  This is a reasonably noble sentiment, but what we are subsequently shown is somewhat at odds with it.  Steve says his employees are also his friends, but he hangs out and plays cards with the other carnies, not with them.  When Shorty tells him that Jade is cheating on him, Steve slaps him like he would a misbehaving child.  This is not how people treat friends and equals.

You may have guessed where this is heading: in one of my favourite running complaints, yep, we have nobody to root for in this movie.  We’re probably supposed to like Steve, but he’s bland and his actions don’t agree with his words insisting he’s a nice, compassionate guy. The character from whose point of view we see the events is of course Jade, but Jade is the villain of the movie and we’re watching it to see her hubris destroy her.  That means the protagonists ought to be the sideshow people themselves, but since we never actually meet them, their revenge is meaningless. In this context they are not human beings, they are not characters, they are merely what Jade has been calling them all along: monsters.

(Shorty, by the way, is played by Felix Silla, who is the closest thing this movie has to a star. He was Cousin Itt on the Addams Family TV show.)

She Freak presents us with several reasons why we ought to dislike Jade.  She’s introduced working at the greasy little diner, where she turns down a date first with a customer and then with her boss.  The customer accepts this gracefully but the boss does not.  The scene tries to show us Jade as an uppity bitch who thinks she’s too good for other people, but her boss is such a slimy toad that we have to take her side.  She tells us how her mother married too young and lost any chance at her own dreams, and while Claire Brennan is a terrible actress, the story is one that inspires sympathy.  When Jade seizes on the carnival as her chance for escape she becomes downright pathetic.  I mean, how awful is your life if a travelling midway and sideshow seems like a step up in the world?

Of course, as the movie continues we find that Jade really is just a snotty bitch whose idea of ‘getting more out of life’ is having a rich husband to carry her bags when she goes shopping. She sees others only as what they can provide to her – Steve for money, Blackie for sex.  This attitude blinds her to others’ true intentions.  She is entirely oblivious to the fact that Blackie is an abusive bastard or that Steve honestly loves her.  The lesson of the movie seems to be ‘beware of women who want more out of life.’  She should have known her place!

This is a pretty nasty attitude towards women but there are other female characters who are treated a bit better.  Pat the stripper tried marriage and domesticity and didn’t like it.  She seems to enjoy working at the carnival and is gregarious and kind-hearted.  We’re invited to leer at her performance but she’s presented as much less trashy than Jade, who considers herself above such things. Pat continues to try to be a friend to Jade for as long as she can, and keeps giving her second chances long after it should be obvious that Jade isn’t interested in reciprocating her kindness. There’s also Olga the fortune-teller, who needed to support herself after her husband died.  The three of them even manage to have conversations that pass the Bechdel test.  In a movie called She-Freak that’s almost impressive.

The ending of She Freak is the only place where it really even seems inspired by Freaks.  The sideshow employees take their revenge on Jade, and we see her on display in the sideshow, licking a snake and wearing some unconvincing Harvey Dent makeup.  This is supposed to feel like justice, in that she has become what she most hated, but it’s been so watered down by the movie’s refusal to humanize the sideshow, or even to show us Jade interacting with them at all, that it has no power to horrify.  It’s a big letdown after the opening scene that promised us a horrible freak that was once a human being.  Why does her burned side have an elf ear?

Invasion of the Saucer Men was not a good movie, at all, but it still deserved better than Attack of the The Eye Creatures.  It’s up for debate whether Freaks was technically ‘good’ but it was an ambitious film with much to say about how human beings treat one another and about the eugenics movement of the 1930s.  In fact, the US National Film Registry considers Freaks one of the most significant films ever made, and it currently boasts a 94% on Rotten Tomatoes.  The fact that writer David Friedman claimed She Freak was a remake of Freaks just proves that, like the audiences who booed that film in 1932, he never bothered to understand it.

[sxciallygray]

I’ll be here when you come back (Colby Brock)

A/N: Hello my dudes!!! How long it’s been? Like 4? Maybe even 5 since I posted the second part of Let Her Go.

I’ve had most of the last part written since last November, but I got busy and lost inspiration to write – which seemed to be back for now.

I hope you like this last part, I enjoyed writing the last bit because if I have to be honest I’m not sure if I like the rest of it – like I said I wrote almost 5 months ago and usually when I read things I wrote a long time ago I normally don’t like them.

But you are the important ones! If you like it then I’m happy.

I hope you are all safe and doing well in the crazy times we are living and I also hope this helps you to think about something else.

Love you!

Warnings: English is not my first language so I’m sorry in advance if I made some mistakes.

Part1: Let her go

Part2: All you had to do was stay

It had been a month since (Y/N) had come back to LA, which lead her to think one thing only, the call with the information about her new destination was closer than she liked.

She hadn’t realized how much she missed her life until she came back and could enjoy all her friends again, specially how much she had missed Colby. At that point it was hard for both of them to hide how much they wanted to spend time together, Colby would find the most random excuses to make plans with (Y/N) and she wouldn’t hesitate on saying yes to everything Colby came up with. Like that night for example, (Y/N) had suggested going to Rae’s to have dinner with the whole group, after dinner Sam suggested a chill game night at his and Kat’s place, but Colby excused himself saying he had to film a video for his channel and that he needed help. Of course (Y/N) was the first one to offer herself volunteer.

None of their friends at that diner booth were blind, they could see Colby and (Y/N)’s undeniable desire for some alone time with each other, so most of the time they would play along instead of teasing them in public and potentially make things awkward – something they both were thankful for since from the first second the fans saw (Y/N) was back ninety percent of comments were about if they were back together or not.

What they didn’t know, not even (Y/N), was that there was no video that needed to be finished. Colby’s intentions were to take (Y/N) to a place he had recently found, a quiet spot on the hills of LA where they watched the city from afar.

The later it got the better they could see the stars above them, which reminded (Y/N) of a recurrent thought she had at the beginning of their time apart. She liked to look at the sky and think that no matter what, no matter the time of the day, the weather or how far away they were from each other, both of them were looking at the same sky. For some reason thinking about that brought her peace and made her feel a little connected to Colby.

“What are you thinking about?” they’ve been quiet for a few minutes and Colby was only wondering why (Y/N) was so smiley.

“Nothing” her smile only grew wider, making Colby grin bigger.

“C’mon, tell me” he turned around so he laying on his stomach over the blanket they were sharing.

“I was thinking about that time you fell down the hill and made it to the bottom on your butt” she lied, while she laughed remembering that moment.

“My pants were so destroyed at the end” he chuckled shaking his head.

(Y/N) was about to make a comment on how his fat ass helped him to not get too hurt but their attentions were caught by the sound of movement on the bushes behind them.

“Did you hear that?” (Y/N) whispered, sitting up as fast as she could to look in the direction of the sound.

A low growl followed the noises and that was enough for Colby to get up and help (Y/N) get up too “get it the car, fast” he whispered grabbing the blanket and giving it to her while he opened the door for her.

The first thought that came into mind for Colby was that they could be attacked by an animal, so he had to put (Y/N) in a safe place, but before he could close the door they heard some high pitched whimpers coming from the same place.

That got (Y/N) out of the car and running to the bushes, followed by Colby telling her to stop.

“Oh my god”

“What? (Y/N) what is it? Be careful” when Colby approached her he could finally calm down, it was a dog and he was trapped on the bush.

“Hey buddy, I’m going to help you, okay?” (Y/N) was crazy about animals, if it was for her she would have so many, but sadly she was never in the same place for too long and having a pet wasn’t a good idea under those conditions.

When the dog kept whining and liked her hand, (Y/N) took it as a sign to proceed and help the young looking dog to get out of the mess he had got himself into.

“He has no collar and he’s so dirty it looks like he’s been around here for a while” she announced looking up at Colby as she kept caressing the dog to keep him calm.

Colby, who also happened to be an animal lover, saw his opportunity in the palm of his hand “why don’t we go back to my place and we get him clean and fed?” if there was a way to (Y/N)’s heart, it was definitely that one.

“I think that’s a great idea” she looked down at the scared dog again “we’re taking care of you my friend, don’t worry I won’t let Colby pick the food, he has no taste” she joked, picking up the dog and winking at a fake hurt looking Colby.

The car ride was smoother than expected, luckily it was the middle of the night, which meant no traffic at all. It was good thing too because Colby was paying more attention to the interactions (Y/N) was having with the dog than where he was going.

Something none of them had realized was how, as much as they have been hanging out, (Y/N) hadn’t put a foot on Colby’s apartment. Being in the outside world together gave them many private moments, but being alone in Colby’s home was different, that feeling of anything could happened was settled as soon as they both walked through the room.

“The bathroom is over there” Colby pointed to the only closed door in the open space.

(Y/N) made her way over while she looked around his apartment, taking in how empty it looked, there was no decorations at all and she was thankful for that, if she had seen any of their old decorations she would have died inside.

“I made you a sandwich” Colby announced, walking into the bathroom twenty minutes after (Y/N), who had already washed the dog and was drying him off with a towel.

“Did you make it or did you go to the store to buy it? Because it took you a while” she joked, wrapping her new little friend with the towel and snuggling him.

Truth was that Colby just needed some time by himself, gather his thoughts before walking into that bathroom. It was getting very difficult to be around (Y/N) while they were playing by the ‘only friends’ rules.

“Making sandwiches is an art, it takes time” he sat on the tiled floor, right in front of (Y/N), who was also sitting on the floor. They stayed in silent for a few minutes until Colby broke it “I always thought we would get a dog.”

Was he too tired to stop himself from saying things like those? He definitely was.

“But then I left” (Y/N) whispered, avoiding eye contact.

Was she too tired to follow that conversation? Oh you better believe she was.

“But then we broke up” he corrected her.

“Because I left” they hadn’t talked about their relationship, not even just once ever since they had started this new found friendship. So Colby couldn’t help but give (Y/N) a confused look, not understanding where she was coming from with that.

“Okay, if that is what you believe then you could say I didn’t do anything to try and stop you from leaving” he said once he understood she was, in some level, blaming herself for it “you followed your passion and there’s nothing wrong with that”

Colby’s soft tone and sweet words made (Y/N) finally look at him in the eyes, feeling less guilty. She wasn’t sorry for leaving and following her dreams, but was she coastally wondering what could’ve been if she had stayed with Colby? Of course.

“It doesn’t mean I didn’t wanna stay too” at the end of the day there was two things she was passionate about, trying to transform the world in a better place and her future with Colby Brock.

“I know, (Y/N)” he couldn’t lie, it felt good to hear that. He knew she was heartbroken for leaving and that gave away a hint of how bad she wanted to stay, but hearing it out loud felt so fucking good “but do you really think I would’ve let you give up on an opportunity like that?” she shook her head, earning a smile from Colby, who moved closer, until the only thing keeping them apart were their legs “That’s correct, I wouldn’t’ve had let you” he placed a hand on her knee “don’t ever think I blamed this on you leaving, not for a second. I’m so fucking proud of you for chasing after your dreams”

“Thank you, Colbster” she smiled, the use of the nickname she had given him shortly after meeting Colby made her slightly flush. The dog found that the perfect moment to lick her sad face away “okay, okay I’ll let you go” she chuckled letting the dog free to run around the bathroom before storming out of it to explore the rest of the apartment.

“I put some of the food we bought on a bowl in the kitchen, someone’s going to be surprised” although he was apparently focusing in something new (Y/N) couldn’t stop repeating his words in her head and how badly she wanted to kiss him right now, but she couldn’t.

Just like that she made her decision, the dog would be the sing she needed to see what the universe had to tell her.

The following morning, bright and early, Colby and (Y/N) went to the closest vet to find out if the dog had a microchip, which would lead to an owner and then to discover if the dog had run away or if it had been abandoned – a heartbreaking theory on (Y/N)’s eyes.

While the vet did her job It was visible how nervous (Y/N) was, Colby couldn’t figure out why and he was planning on asking, but the vet talked sooner, announcing the dog had a microchip and that she was going to call the number that appeared on the computer.

“You’re going to make a hole on the ground if you keep bouncing your leg like that” Colby joke, earning a smile from (Y/N).

She didn’t answer though; she was too deep in her thoughts. If that dog didn’t have an owner that wanted him that was it, she was staying in LA, she would find a place to live, a job, she would take care of her new little friend and she would work as hard as it needed to be worked to gain Colby back.

“Good news, the owner is on her way, she says she’s been looking for Oreo like crazy” Oreo, so that was the dog’s name, who the fuck names their dog after an Oreo? Okay probably (Y/N) would do it, it was a cute name and she was just too upset to recognize it.

“Great, that’s awesome to hear, right?” Colby had to take the lead and talk when there was no reaction from (Y/N), who only nodded when Colby tried to get her to respond in any way possible.

The thing is, Colby still knows (Y/N) like the palm of his hand, he can feel how upset she is when she gets slightly flushed as a reaction of how hard she is trying to hold back the tears, but what he can’t understand is the reason why she is so upset all of the sudden, was he missing something?

So the poor and confused boy does the only thing he can think of at the moment. He places his hand on her back, rubbing small circles at first and when (Y/N) doesn’t try to stop him from doing so he pulls her closer “What’s wrong?” the vet is too occupied with Oreo to hear what Colby has whispered to (Y/N), which (Y/N) is thankful for because the last thing she wants is for the vet to think she’s crazy.

“’m just tired” the lack of eye contact wasn’t helping her in the fail attempt of lying “and hungry”

“We can go to Rae’s for breakfast” although Colby knew that wasn’t the problem, he followed along “and then take a nap” and maybe too carried away, but the last thing he wanted to do was to finish their time together, even if he was just as tired as she was because they stayed up all night talking and playing with the dog they had just found in the middle of nowhere.

For some reason he felt like if he let go of her in that moment she would be gone again, just like if she had never been here in the first place. That’s why when (Y/N) nodded and leaned her head on his shoulder he felt the biggest relieved he’s felt in so long.

They were given the option of staying until Oreo’s owner came to pick him up and as much as (Y/N) would have loved to witness the encounter in other given circumstances now it wasn’t the best time for it, so they left to get Colby’s promised breakfast at Rae’s.

From the first second they put a foot outside the vet clinic Colby was dying to ask what was really the reason of (Y/N) mood swing, sadly he didn’t feel in the right position to push her that much in order to get an answer.

“Can you take me straight to Tara’s? I’m really tired, I just want to sleep” Colby felt like he had lost a battle, one that (Y/N) had no idea about, but somehow she had defeated Colby.

“Yeah, sure, I can take you there” (Y/N) hated to be the reason why things had got so awkward between them so fast. With Colby too afraid of making the wrong move and pushing her away forever and with (Y/N) too upset to even pretend she was fine.

_

Colby’s suspicions were correct, for the next three days he couldn’t get a hold of (Y/N), she wouldn’t answer his calls and the texts she did answer were very vague. The whole situation was equally confusing and frustrating for Colby. On one hand he was fine with giving (Y/N) her space, leaving him some time for himself too; on the other hand, he couldn’t point where did he go wrong, what did he do to make her so upset and disappear for three days, that was all he had in his mind most of the time, but it also didn’t stop him from keeping up with his busy schedule and daily life.

It wasn’t much different for (Y/N), she felt like the longer she tried to stay away from Colby the harder it would be to fall back into good terms, after all she would have to explain why she was acting so weird.

The lack of sleep and the realization of still being very much in love with Colby were the two main factors that got (Y/N) so upset. She wasn’t one to believe in signs from the universe, but in that moment at the vet she would have follow her plan of staying in LA if the universe had made that dog one without an owner, that would have been her sign. On the contrary, she took that sign as one of take your things and run before you make a mistake.

Hence why she is upset, she doesn’t believe in signs, but she made herself believe in that one, which was followed by the call she’s been afraid to receive the very next day.

“You look awfully quiet, my dear” of course the second (Y/N) got the news she went to the only place she could feel better again, Rae’s, where Carly made her the best strawberry milkshake, yet (Y/N) didn’t feel any better and Carly could see it.

“isn’t Colby joining you today?” Rog didn’t mean any harm, he was very happy when Carly told him about having the young couple reunited again after such a long time, but the reminder of Colby hurt.

“No… it’s just me today” (Y/N) couldn’t even look up to answer his question, she was too occupied moving the straw around the half full glass, as if the answer would pop out of it any second.

As Carly and Rog kept taking care of preparing meals and drinks (Y/N) watched them, this time paying more attention than ever before. How Rog would look at Carly from time to time and a smile would appear on his face, how Carly had an endless list of cute nicknames for Rog or simply the way they would crack jokes with the other every other minute.

“How did you and Carly meet?” (Y/N) asked Rog when he got closer whipping the other side of the counter.

“Way back in the day, we were neighbors” just talking about it put a smile on Rog’s face “I didn’t stop until she agreed to go on a date with me”

“Where did you take her?” (Y/N) was already hooked on the story, she loved old people and their life stories.

“To the movies, of course” Carly was a big fan of everything movie related and the decoration on the diner showed her passion, they had the walls covered with movie posters “I was scared to death of her father, but I managed to build the courage and ask for permission. Best decision I ever made”

“How did you know she was the one for you?” you could say she was trying to get advice without asking for it.

Rog stopped cleaning the glasses that had piled on the counter and looked at the lost girl sitting at the stool on the other side of the counter, he could read the look in her eyes.

“It took me some time, some mistakes were made, but without those mistakes we wouldn’t be here today” now (Y/N) was intrigued, but she felt that asking about those mistakes was way too invasive “I asked myself many times if Carly was the woman I would end up marrying, if there was someone else out there for me, because when we started dating it didn’t feel like I could have a connection with anyone else the way I had it with her” (Y/N) stayed quiet, wanting him to continue “but when she and her family moved here , the place she had always dreamt of, I had to let her go, still one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do to this day. I told myself it all happened because it was meant to be like that, I had to stay in New York and work in my father’s business and she was meant to move here” (Y/N) couldn’t help but compare their story with hers and Colby’s “It didn’t take me long to realize what really mattered to me and let me tell you it wasn’t working for my father” he laughed, probably at the memory of those golden years they lived together.

“Did Carly wait for you?” although (Y/N) loved seeing him so happy as he told his story, she couldn’t hold back the questions.

“Oh no, I would have never asked her that, we truly believed we wouldn’t see each other again, but the second I found her… things fell back into place” well, now that was true love “almost fifty years later here we are”

“It’s a beautiful story, Rog” (Y/N) smiled, already deep in thought, putting into perspective everything she knew or at least everything she thought she knew.

“You seem conflicted” Rog had caught on early when she asked the first question why did she wanted to now. After all he had witness the mess Colby had been for the first few weeks after (Y/N) left.

“I am conflicted” with a heavy sigh (Y/N) let her head fall on her crossed arms over the counter.

The action made Rog laugh, that kind of sympathetic laugh you can’t be mad at. He wasn’t stupid, in fact his age and his life experience made him a very wise human being.

“If you want my humble opinion” he started, stopping just to build some expectation, which made (Y/N) look up again “I think you already have the answer you need, you just haven’t accepted yet, so whatever it is you are conflicted about accept it already and put yourself to work”

It wasn’t admitting that Rog was right, (Y/N) already knew what she really wanted to do, but the thought of actually putting herself to work to get to her goal scared her too much.

Fuck that, it was about time she got up and made up for the time she was losing. Rog could see in her eyes how fast her demeanor was changing, leaving the old man with a proud smile on his lips.

“I’m going to do it” (Y/N) stood up from the bar stool, almost knocking it down with how fast she did it “thank you Rog” before running out of the diner, with an unfinished milkshake, she left a five-dollar bill for Rog not waiting for her change, the man deserved the big tip.

_

“Jake, what does it take so long to pack? Seriously dude”

Colby had been waiting for over an hour for Jake to give him a heads up whenever he had finished packing for their trip and he couldn’t stop texting Jake to hurry up. He wanted to leave as soon as possible, although it was going to be a ‘bussiness trip’ because they were visiting haunted places for the Sam and Colby channel, Colby really wanted to be a few days away from LA.

“Brother relax, don’t pay it with me if (Y/N) doesn’t answer your calls”

It wasn’t a secret for anyone how (Y/N) affected Colby even if he didn’t want it to be that way, none of them couldn’t help it. Jake didn’t mean harm with his comments, they were all in a joking tone, he felt like it was better to joke about it than to make it this taboo topic that made things weird.

“If you’re not ready in ten minutes I’m ditching your ass”

After sending that last text Colby let himself fall on the couch with a deep sigh, why couldn’t he stop thinking about her just for five minutes? A little break for his tired brain and aching heart.

Meanwhile, not so far from Colby’s complex apartment the running hadn’t stopped for (Y/N) when she left the diner, she kept running down the street, through the sea of people that couldn’t care less for the crazy looking girl trying not to trip and fall.

Two blocks into running she was feeling exhausted and the thought running through her mind was how the next thing she was doing was getting in shape.

---

The banging on his apartment door straddled Colby, he wished it was different, but it caught him off guard. Normally none of his friends even knock, they either walk in without knocking or they let him know they’re going up the stairs through a text, so it couldn’t be Jake, the only one Colby was waiting.

“(Y/N)?” it felt like he was in such an emotional rollercoaster in that moment that he couldn’t trust his eyes, but she was there, standing in front of him, breathless from all the running.

“I-“ so breathless she felt like it would take her a while to form a sentence “’m sorry” the frown in Colby’s face deepened.

“Sorry? For what?” (Y/N) quickly put a hand up to let him know she needed to talk and not be interrupted.

It was nice to know she cared enough to acknowledge the fact that she had been avoiding him and she needed to apologize for that, but it wasn’t necessary to run all the way there, she could’ve just called.

(Y/N) took a deep breath, enough to form a full sentence without being cut by her lungs’ terrible performance “I’m sorry for pushing you away when that’s not what I really want”

The possibilities were endless for Colby’s reaction, that was the most terrifying part for (Y/N), who felt her heart start beating again when a small grin appeared on Colby’s face.

He had to admit something, in all the years he had known the breathless girl in front of him, there wasn’t many times he could recall seeing her admit so clearly she was doing something wrong – which was the most beautiful form of art in his eyes.

“Okay… I forgive you” she could recognize the smug smile on his face, he was enjoying this moment in many ways and although in the past she would had told him to stop, now she just wanted to look at him smile in any way possible “Can I ask why you started acting so weird though? I think apologies usually come with explanations.”

It wasn’t a surprise for her, who in their right mind wouldn’t ask? So she invited herself into the living room, where Colby followed after closing the door.

“I… really wanted to keep the dog we found” she admitted turning around to meet his intrigued eyes, the same ones that asked her to keep going “I thought if he didn’t have an owner who wanted him it would be a signal that I should stay in LA, no more voluntary work around the world” Colby was feeling conflicted, he loved the idea of her staying in LA, having her back completely.

The constant movement in her hands was making both of them nervous, they didn’t even take a seat – Colby didn’t mainly because she seemed too anxious to keep herself in place.

“But the dog had an owner” Colby took a step closer, taking her hands in his so she would stop playing with them. It seemed like the physical contact made her focus better, nodding while she looked down at their hands before looking up at him again.

“And that meant I didn’t have a reason to stay here” the tone of her voice went down, now that he was so close to her it felt like the right choice “or so I wanted to make myself believe”

“Do you want to stay?” Colby was doing the best he could to keep himself together, it wasn’t too difficult most of the time, but (Y/N) had always been an exception to any existing rule.

She timidly nodded “I do wanna stay” if someone decided to check her heart rate in that moment she would have broken the machine, because her heart was beating so fast she could pass out at any second “but I realized that way before we found out about the dog’s owner” the confusion on Colby’s face made it clear to her that he had no idea what she meant “I knew I wanted to stay when I realized I’m still in love with you”

Exactly the words he had been dreaming to hear again, a moment he had been waiting and had made himself believe it wouldn’t happen ever again – oh how wrong he was.

If this was a dream he wasn’t risking waking up, so instead trying to learn how to breathe again he let go of her hands and moved them up to cup her face delicately before crashing his lips with hers.

That wasn’t exactly the reaction (Y/N) was expecting, but definitely the best outcome. Of course she kissed him back, this time with no doubts or regrets. It felt so new yet still like coming back home after a horrible day, so warm and welcoming.

Her hands quickly made their way to his waist, tugging on his shirt to keep him close, a small detail that made a spark run through Colby’s body, who was starting to feel breathless from the kiss and the adrenaline of his intense emotions taking over him.

Even when they pulled apart the electricity trying to keep them together was vibrant.

“That was… unexpected” she smiled, intuitively licking her lips that still tasted like him.

“I know; it was unexpected for me too” her sudden love confession was beyond anything he could’ve imagined.

They stayed in silent, looking at each other with silly smiles on their faces – those smiles you get in the so called honeymoon phase of your relationship. In this case Colby and (Y/N) had a long history behind them, but it had always been like the honeymoon phase for them no matter how long they had been together.

Her hands had made their way up to his jaw, letting her fingers dance along his soft skin “Can we get a dog?” she asked out of nowhere.

The look of adoration on Colby’s eyes only intensified after that question, how had he functioned all that time without her? Without feeling the way he was feeling in that very second?

“I thought you’d never ask” this time it was (Y/N) the one who pulled him down for another breathtaking kiss.

There was still a long road in front of them before getting a dog, of course, but the main point was that they were in the same page, the both wanted the same thing and it was as simple as having each other by their side.

Colby’s phone went off, interrupting the heated kiss. When he looked at his phone he saw the incoming called from Jake, just like that he was brought back to reality, he had to leave to the airport, he wasn’t going to be able to enjoy (Y/N) for at least a few more days.

“Fuck” he cursed under his breath, hanging up on Jake “I have a trip with the boys and I should be going to the airport by now”

“It’s okay” giving him a reassuring smile she pecked his lips one more time “have fun, find some ghosts and tell me all about it” her words made him feel automatically better about leaving “I’ll be here when you come back”

His arms wrapped around her tightly, bringing her into a warm hug, one that he needed more than any of them knew. He took in her sweet scent, while she kissed his shoulder and locked her arms behind his back to hug him tighter.

__

Just as she had promised when Colby came back she was there, not only in LA, but in his apartment. She had found a way to go inside, decorating the place with a bunch of lit candles and flowers she had got for him, because even if he couldn’t keep them alive Colby had always enjoyed getting flowers. She had also made a welcome back sign and since he was coming back late at night she had also made dinner for the two of them.

Colby didn’t know he needed that in his life as much as he did when he saw the whole thing, now remembering all the times he had come back to an empty apartment felt so sad.

“Oh my god” the mixture between his nervous laugh and big smile let her see how much he liked the surprise.

“Welcome home!” (Y/N) exclaimed, jumping from behind the couch – Colby’s smile only went bigger “I promise I wasn’t trying to make a séance with all these candles” she joked, making him laugh.

The shock and surprise was still very clear in his actions, his face, how he couldn’t stop looking around the place “how did you- when- ugh I have so many questions” his focus finally falling back on her.

“I told you I would be here when you came back and Sam has keys to get in here so I just had to nicely ask for them, get them from Kat and get everything inside” she explained “you like it?”

“Oh believe me, I’ve never been so happy to be back home” letting his backpack fall on the floor he shortened the distance between them and kissed her, not holding back for even a second, he was giving it all in that passionate kiss that took her breath away.

“don’t you want to have dinner?” she chuckled between kisses, for Colby there wasn’t time to waste, it was visible in how his hands traveled down her body, stopping one of his hands on her butt and giving it a squeeze while with the other he moved the hair away from her face to kiss her lips again.

“Dinner can wait, I have other priorities at the moment” he whispered, bringing his other hand to her butt too and picking her up, gaining a grin from her.

“mhmmm, I’ve always liked your way of thinking” she added leaning in to kiss down his jaw.

Just like that everything fell back in place, the same way their bodies feel in Colby’s bed. They had found their way back to each other, like (Y/N)’s lips found their way down Colby’s neck. Bodies fitting perfectly together after a long time trying to fill that space with the best new thing, not knowing there was nothing or no one who could compare to the way they worked together.

tagged:  @dolanshemm

[alpha-mag-media]

From Leo to Libra, the star signs most likely to end up heartbroken and why it’s bad news if you’re dating a Scorpio | TVF55E9 | 2023-12-29 09:08:01 | December 29, 2023 at 10:08AM

From Leo to Libra, the star signs most likely to end up heartbroken and why it’s bad news if you’re dating a Scorpio | TVF55E9 | 2023-12-29 09:08:01 Read More … Check full articles at Source: ALPHA MAG

[erius-vidi]

From Leo to Libra, the star signs most likely to end up heartbroken and why it’s bad news if you’re dating a Scorpio

From Leo to Libra, the star signs most likely to end up heartbroken and why it’s bad news if you’re dating a Scorpio Read Full Text

[ladyreapermc]

Fic: Catching Feelings 8/10 (Keanu x OFC)

Summary: AU in which Keanu is down on his luck after he comes to Hollywood trying to be an actor. To earn some money, he joins this app for escorts and meets Steph, a rising star who hires him to try to forget her ex. Neither of them is expecting to fall in love and all the problems it brings. Previous chapters:  1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Author’s notes: we’re getting closer to the end of this journey. Please grab your tissues for this one.

Wordcount: 3275

Warnings: angst (two fools that can’t communicate).

Keanu paced around the room, his stomach twisted into knots, his lungs feeling like they had been wrapped with rope and squeezed tight. Not enough air seemed to reach them. Bile rose to his throat and it felt like he was about to throw up, but whenever he rushed to the bathroom, he could only manage to dry heave, nothing coming out.

He wanted to punch a wall, break something, maybe that would soothe the seething anger raging inside him, but Keanu knew it was the worst way possible to deal with it. Destruction wouldn’t help fix this. Wouldn’t stop the way his heart ached with every beat.

Rubbing away the treacherous tears that escaped his eyes, Keanu moved to the balcony, lighting up a cigarette to try calm and center himself. Maybe if he could do that he might be able to figure out why Steph would do something like that. Why she would hurt him so viciously.

He understood that she was jealous of the way Cassandra acted around him, but she didn’t even give him a second to explain.

Much like he had done when he saw her with Kevin in the club. He had left without a word. Ignored her for weeks. Keanu guessed he did hurt her too back then. Did she felt like this? Raw and bleeding?

Did she saw the entire scene unfolding on repeat in her mind as if some masochistic part of her needed to prod that wound, like a kid discovering their own injuries? They knew it would hurt, but the couldn’t help but pick at it anyway.

Did it hurt her like it hurt him now? Maybe exposing and humiliating him in front of her friends was payback for that?

He couldn’t see Steph being that petty, but then again, he only really knew her for close to three months. As far as he knew all that sweet and kind persona she always showed him could be all an act. She was an actress after all.

The thought of it once again made a lump rise to his throat and Keanu rushed to the bathroom, dry heaving on the toilet for a few seconds before he wiped the corner of his mouth from drool and dropped to the floor, leaning against the cool tiles of the bathroom.

Why couldn’t he catch a break? His life had been one disaster after another. His father leaving; his mother’s string of failed marriages; his struggles through school; the way he crashed and burned with his acting career, now this?

If he believed in reincarnation, Keanu would say he was a shitty person in his previous life. It was the only thing he could think of that would explain all of this. He brought his knees to his chest, resting his chin on top of it as he stared at the shower stall. Only hours ago, they were completely happy in there. If he could only turn back time…

Keanu stood up when he heard the electric chime of the door lock, stepping out of the bathroom just as Steph stepped into the room, her makeup smudged for crying. She stared at him, big brown eyes welling up with fresh new tears; bottom lip caught between her teeth as if to stop it from trembling.

He had to force himself to stay still. Keep himself from going to her; catching her in his arms; assure everything would be alright.

“I am so, so, sorry,” she breathed out, voice small and quivering. “What I did was…” Steph trailed off, shaking her head. “I didn’t even know I could be that much of a bitch. I understand if you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you, Steph,” Keanu sighed, leaning against the wall. “It would be easier if I did. I could just leave, but…” it was his time to shake his head, avoid her gaze. “Why? You said you didn’t care. Twice!”

“I know!” her tone went a little high-pitched as she rubbed her forehead. “I really thought I didn’t care… before I realized…” Steph paused, and Keanu could feel her gaze on him, so he looked at her; at the way she chewed the inside of her cheek and fidgeted with the hem of her dress. He saw the uncertainty in her eyes, but he saw something else too.

“I love you too,” he admitted with a defeated sigh. Those were the words Keanu wanted to say all weekend, but not like this.

“Then please tell me we can work this out?” Steph begged, coming to stand in front of him, taking his hands in hers. “You can quit Mars and Venus and…”

“And what, Steph?” he asked, pulling his hands away and sidestepping her. “You’ll support me? Pay my bills? I’m gonna be your personal fuck toy?” His words were harsh, design to hurt.

“No!” she rushed to say, stepping closer again but he took a step back, crossing his arms over his chest. “Keanu, that’s not what I meant, I just…”

“Just can’t be seen with a hooker, right?” he said, once again cutting her off and shaking his head. “For your information, you might be ashamed of my job, but I’m not, alright? I’m not doing anything wrong or against the law. I get to support myself, paying for my dreams, help my family…”

“By selling your body!” she exclaimed and Keanu sighed. If he was honest, he had his own reservations about it the whole thing at first, but he learned to see in a different way as time passed.

“You sell your body,” he pointed out earning a startled look from Steph. “You let someone decide who you’re gonna be, what you’re gonna dress, what you’re gonna say… How is that different from what I do? Except for it being legal and morally accepted?”

With a sigh, Keanu rubbed his temples, feeling a headache starting. He was tired of this. Tired of feeling bad and ashamed about what he did. It was a job and nothing more. He could handle if Steph was just jealous. It would suck but they could find a way to fix it. If she couldn’t accept him or his job? There was no way to go from there.

“I’m tired, Steph,” said in a low voice, turning away from her. “Please go.”

He could hear her hesitating, lingering in the room and he could picture the expression in her face: pained. Distraught. Guilty. Heartbroken. But he wasn’t ready to face her again. Not if he wanted to maintain his resolve.

“If that’s what you want.”

“It is.” He barely managed to get the words out through the lump of pain in his throat. The urge to dry heave returning once again, but he forced down.

“Alright.” Keanu heard her taking a deep breath and her steps moving away from him. “If this is the last time we’re gonna speak, there are three things I need you to know.”

Keanu hesitated for a second, before finally looking up at Steph, finding her by the door, hugging herself, eyes downcast.

“What is it?”

“People in the restaurant heard me and started tweeting. By now, most of the gossip sites and magazines must know already. About me and you.”

“So, you want me to deny it?” he asked his tone a little more biting than he planned.

“I’m just letting you know because the press will be all over you and I’m very sorry about that. Do whatever you feel it’s right.” Keanu nodded in reply and waited as Steph hesitated in speaking again.

“The second thing is that I do hope Dogstar takes off. You guys are really good. Mike wouldn’t have signed you if he didn’t agree and he is one of the best music producers out there. And yes, I know him. I didn’t ask him to sign you. He made that decision on his own.”

There were so many things Keanu wanted to say to that, his feelings bubbling on the surface, too entangled for him to make sense right there, but the truth was that he always had a feeling Steph had something to do with it. All of a sudden a famous music producer comes to check them out? They might live in Hollywood, but this wasn’t a movie. Keanu wasn’t sure what to say to that, so he just decided to let go for now.

“What’s the third thing?” he said instead, and this time Steph looked up at him, eyes filling with tears again.

“I’ve never felt for someone what I feel about you,” she declared, firm and strong. “I love you, Ke and I’m truly sorry I fucked it up.”

She was walking forward before Keanu could even process her movements, pausing in front of him for only seconds to silently ask his permission, before pressing her lips to his.

The kiss was soft, full of want, much like the kisses they shared while making love the night before and when Steph finally pulled back, all he wanted was to keep her in his arms and pretend none of that had happened. Instead, he let his arms drop to his sides and watched as Steph walked out of the room and his life.

---

Keanu’s eyes ran over the words of the document in front of him. He knew his brother-in-law, who was a lawyer and much more apt for these sort of things, had already gone through it, making sure everything was as it should, but considering it would be Keanu’s name on the dotted line, it didn’t hurt to look it over one more time.

It wasn’t as if he was hesitant about doing this. He knew he wanted to do it. If he didn’t use this money to help his family what would be the point of everything he had gone through the last year?

In the end, all he ever wanted was to have some comfort for himself, for his family, for those he cared about. After all the years of struggle, Keanu could finally do that. It had cost him a high price, but it was too late.

He set the document back on the bank manager’s desk, signing his name in all the marked places before handing it back to the man in front of him. With that, Keanu had just paid off the mortgage on her mother’s house and a weight seemed to lift from his shoulders as the manager excused himself to make a copy of the document, leaving Keanu to his own thoughts.

“It’s really nice what you’re doing, you know?” a woman commented, drawing his attention to her. From her uniform, he knew she was another bank employee. “Helping your mom like that.”

“Just doing what everyone would do,” Keanu dismissed her words with a shrug, eyeing his phone. He needed to get ready for the interview this afternoon.

“Not true, you know?” the woman said, flashing him a smile. She was pretty. Brown hair, big brown eyes, small frame. Reminded him of… Keanu shook that thought of his head, focusing on the girl in front of him not the one in his past. “This is going to sound like a pickup line, but I feel like I’ve seen you before.”

Keanu let out a sigh along with a humorless chuckle. There were two ways he could answer this, but considering he was in his home town back in Canada, he knew what was the most likely one. He thought he had moved past this, but apparently, it would haunt him for the rest of his days.

“Stephanie Walker’s hooker boyfriend,” he declared easily, the words no longer making him feel ashamed or bitter as it once had.

The woman’s eyes widened in recognition and she scurried off without another word, making him snort and think back on what had happened.

The second Keanu stepped out of the hotel room in Paris all those months ago, his failed relationship with Steph had followed him. Paparazzi and journalist hounded and mobbed him asking him for details if the claims of him being a hooker were true.

Keanu didn’t answer of course, but by the time he got back to the States, someone had found his profile on Mars and Venus and leaked to the press. It was all the confirmation people needed and suddenly he couldn’t go anywhere without being cornered by someone asking for an exclusive interview.

People in his life was shocked by the news and Keanu had to have several uncomfortable conversations with his bandmates and Gard and finally his family. They were less than thrilled with discovery but even more worried about the fact that Keanu wasn’t willing to get out of Mars and Venus.

He used the same speech he gave Steph, about being just another job. About only being thought of it as wrong or bad because of morals and that he wasn’t going to give it up. Not when he was managing to help himself and everyone around him.

Robert and Brett accepted it a little begrudgingly. They knew it would follow Dogstar, but maybe Mike could spin it in some kind of positive way. Gard claimed he didn’t care as long as Keanu showed up on time for his day job. It was his mom and sisters that protested the most, but it was hard to ignore the fact that thanks to Keanu’s job, they managed to pay from Karina’s education in full.

With that in mind, Keanu upped his price to ten thousand dollars a night and started taking requests again. He made sure to let people know that he would not discuss Steph in any way. Most of them respected it. A couple still tried to sneak a question or two, but he made sure to shut then off.

He was getting better at the entire thing, shrugging on the persona of Charles as much as he put the designer clothes he used for those dates. It was just a part he played. Not the real Keanu, because this was a job. Just a job. Nothing more.

Keanu really thought he could do it. Keep going like nothing happened. In the first month of the scandal, he pretended not to seem Steph’s face in every magazine, gossip site, and entertainment channels. Even serious newscasts seemed to use her case as a kick-starter to discuss the politics behind legalized solicitation and everything in between.

However, after that first month, everything seemed to calm down and after the first failed attempts at getting exclusive interviews or conning him into talking about the entire thing, Keanu was left alone by the press and he really thought it was the end of it. That they both would get to move on with their lives.

That was until he accepted a date with a woman, and it turned out as one of the biggest mistakes he ever made.  At first, everything seemed fine. They met at a restaurant, talked and laughed over some wine and nice food. She tried to prod a little into his personal life, but Keanu had long learned to dodge those questions.

He took her home and accepted her offer for another drink and that was when she tried to have sex with him. Keanu reminded her of the agreement they made through the chat and she relented, saying her goodnight.

A week later, his profile picture from Mars and Venus was splashed on the web followed by the article that gave him the moniker of Stephanie Walker’s Hooker Boyfriend. The date had been just a way for the journalist to get information on him and make a stupid exposé.

The entire thing was obviously biased against Steph and as a result, it didn’t paint Keanu in a very flattering light. It almost made him reach out to Steph. Apologize for being responsible to bring up the entire mess once more.

Instead, he quitted Mars and Venus for good. He made enough now to be comfortable and Dogstar was getting more and more gigs. The only good thing that came out of the entire thing. Keanu could afford to rely on the band’s profits. Especially once they signed a record deal.

Flash-forward six months and here Keanu was, back in his home country, for a couple of concerts and interviews to promote their first record. Dogstar was going on their first tour as the actual main attraction. People were paying to see them, buying their record and merchandising. Entertainment channels invited them to play and for interviews. They weren’t huge, but they were making their way and it felt good. Almost good enough to hide the gaping hole that still existed in his heart.

Keanu still thought about Steph every day; wondering what she was doing and how she was faring after everything. He dreamt about her and still caught himself looking at the few pictures she had sent him over the month, they spent chatting through facetime.

“You should call her,” Kim declared, making Keanu start and look over at his sister. She was the one that picked him up at the bank and was driving him to the TV studio. They had an interview before the concert Dogstar would play that night. “Steph.”

“Kim…” he sighed and shook his head. Of everyone in his life, she was the only one who knew everything. She was the only one who knew Steph had been more than just a client. That Keanu actually loved her. “I can’t. What she did…”

“Yeah, I know. It was awful, but put yourself in her shoes. Would you feel well and confident if the person you loved went out regularly in dates with other people?”

“I wouldn’t,” he admitted in a low voice. “But I would talk to them instead of hurting them, though.”

“She fucked up, but let’s be honest: she got the shittier side of this mess,” Kim pointed out, looking sideways at him. “Did you know several ad companies cut off contracts with her after the entire thing? And production actually killed off her character in that big movie she was shooting in France so as not to have her name associated with them. She had lost tons of parts and were even blacklisted by a couple of studios…”

“How do you know all this?” Keanu asked with a frown. His sister seemed more well informed than he could ever hope to be.

“This journalist I like wrote a think piece on the entire thing,” she replied. “Don’t worry, they didn’t mention you. Not directly anyway. It was more focused on how Hollywood is such a misogynistic place and used Steph as evidence. They compared her case with this other actor’s who was caught with a hooker when solicitation was still illegal and absolutely nothing happened to his career. He’s still going strong. It’s not fair.”

He really hadn’t thought about it that way. Considered the impacts of the entire thing for Steph. Keanu knew her world was unforgiving, but he didn’t know she had lost this much… He could only imagine how she was doing. Steph loved her job. That much he knew. And she risked everything by being with him and she was suffering the consequences of it while the worst he got was a stupid nickname.

“Can you send it to me? The article.” Keanu asked once she pulled out in front of the studio. Kim nodded, giving her brother a hug.

“Knock them dead. In there and tonight,” she said, kissing his cheek. “And think about what I told you.”

“I will.”

xxx (tbc) xxx

go to chapter 09

Permanent Tag List (give me a shout if you want to be added or removed)

@toomanystoriessolittletime @meetmeinthematinee @theolsdalova @krazycags01 @beyond-antares @cumberbatchbaps @sgt-morgan @futuristic-imbecile @howtoruin-someones-perfect-day @a-really-bi-girl @fanficsrusz @nonsensicalobsessions @poisonedjoinery @soarocks @penwieldingdreamer​ @alwaydreamingofu

Tag List for Catching Feelings (give me a shout if you want to be added or removed)

@baphometwolf666​ @thesadvampire​