i think steampianist's thing really suits kabukimono. the speaker in the song struggles to convey emotions properly and wishes to have certain traits ("hair like yours," "hands like yours," "eyes to stare and to cry with," "fingers that curl in the cold"), which can be read as fervently coveting to look and feel "normal." or, in kabukimono's case, to look and feel human.
like the speaker in the song, kabukimono cannot understand or show certain emotions, and so he learns from those around him (like a sponge absorbing new information) about human life. he hides his true nature as a puppet and learns how to live as a human, but as human as he may act he can never truly be human if the parameters set for what it means to be human are that (1) you must have a heart and (2) your lifespan must be finite (which are parameters kabukimono thinks equals humanity). he has neither of these, which is why he never truly views himself as a human even though you could argue that being "human" simply means you are a complex individual who can feel, think, speak, and articulate (all things kabukimono is capable of).
as the song nears its conclusion, it's implied that the speaker hurt or killed their friends in some way, and you learn that all along this "thing" has wanted companionship and to feel and display emotions properly. but something goes wrong and the result is this eerie line: "struggling only makes the hugs much tighter." both kabukimono and the speaker in the song are driven by their obsessions, and both have bloodied their hands as the result of their circumstances (kabukimono's motivation for murder being revenge and the speaker's most likely being the threat of their friends leaving, so they become determined to make them stay even if it ends in death).
and by the end, the speaker still continues to wish for the traits mentioned above. likewise, kabukimono continues in his travels after sating his hunger for revenge and with "human" traits he has learned and experienced throughout his journey, only to soon step onto the path that leads him to becoming a harbinger once he comes to believe that his "humanity" is a sign of weakness. and so he does away with the things that made him human and starts a new era of his existence (albeit a more violent, cruel one), much like how the speaker in the song will probably continue to search for a way to express themselves in socially acceptable ways.
i think popopo could also fit kabukimono in that it's a song about an alien who travels from planet to planet in hopes of finding a home and a friend, but no one accepts or wants him so he is constantly shunned and lonesome. thus he is a "shooting star sinking in the spacey, black tar" with "hopes and dreams in teardrops," which are lines that fit kabukimono so much!
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original thief series basso & garrett :)
ngl, it's about quality over quantity for me. an npc can have a total of three minutes of screen time, but if they have a cool name, they can live rent free in my head and I'll spend several hours trying to decipher drawable features from a blurry screenshot of pixels
there is a vague hint of a story here, and that's because every time I try to play thi4f, I get incredibly frustrated with how Not Fun the game play is. like, is the story good? well. but it has a PLAGUE. that should've given it instant 'I'll replay this once a year' status in my heart, but the game play sucks so bad that I've never finished it. I can't believe Not Fun gameplay beat out my obsession with narrative plagues.
anyway, the idea is basically if the original era had a game with a plague centric narrative and some other stuff I liked out of thi4f thrown into a narrative blender, with a heavy dash of horror thrown in because some parts of the thief games were scarier to me than entire dedicated horror genre games.
⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app
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I went into Ruth expecting a dreary read. How could a Victorian "fallen woman" story be anything other than dark and depressing? So I was shocked right from the beginning to find a sweet, gentle, romantic story. The dressmaker's apprentice who sits in the coldest, darkest part of the workroom because that's where there's a panel painted with flowers that remind her of her country home? How could I not adopt her as a favorite character? Ruth's innocent, romantic outlook on life gave us some beautiful descriptions of the scenery of both city and countryside, and my imagination went on overdrive to create very vivid images of the story. Even the love story, which we know is going to go very wrong, starts out sweet, with a kind, charming love interest who only shows flashes of just how wrong his character is going to go.
Even after Ruth's fall, the story is so gentle, putting Ruth among kind people who are willing to risk and sacrifice a lot to help her. And then the story gets almost too gentle--after some initial struggles with depression, Ruth resolves to bear her troubles patiently and work toward virtue, and her sweet, too-innocent character gets flattened out into someone who's just Good. Life just goes on, with things generally going well, and every potential turn toward drama results in someone deciding to be reasonable, which can make the story drag.
But, in a story like this, the lack of drama becomes the plot twist! It is refreshing to see characters who don't always jump to the worst conclusion or take the worst action, who pause and consider the whole story and act like decent human beings.
And in the places when the drama does kick in, it's good drama. Painful drama. It's also (especially in the last section of the story) melodrama. There were sections of the book where I was rolling my eyes at the cookie-cutter Victorian path the story was taking--but then there'd be one line or one moment that would just stab me in the chest because of how beautifully specific it was to this story. Just enough to elevate it from something bland to something unique and fascinating.
I often had the thought that this book could be about a third of its length without losing anything--yet it should also be just as long as it was. If the story cut all its repetitive musings about Ruth's regret, and used that space to develop the side characters and and show the plot instead of telling us about it, it would be a much deeper story. I found myself wishing Gaskell had reworked this one later in her career--the way that North and South was a more skillful reworking of the issues explored in Mary Barton. In a way, she sort of did in Wives and Daughters, with the story of Molly the quiet innocent getting tangled up in the intrigues surrounding her headstrong, flirtatious stepsister Cynthia serving as a more layered, personality-flipped version of the story where headstrong, sheltered Jemima gets tangled in the story of quiet, sweet Ruth and her past romantic intrigues. (The doctor at the end of the story also feels like a proto-Mr. Gibson).
Yet I'm still fascinated by the themes specific to this story. Contrary to expectation, this "fallen woman" story isn't about sex, or gender, or how unfairly women are treated (though it does touch on that in the end). It's about sin. It's not questioning why Ruth's behavior is considered a sin or looking to dismantle the society saying that it's a sin. It comes from the Christian perspective of saying that sin is real and harms people--so how are we going to deal with that?
The story shows lots of people struggling with temptation, failing, and dealing with the consequences (or harming others with the consequences). Sin is always a case of either not caring enough to do the more difficult, good thing, or a case of "the ends justify the means", where people rationalize their bad behavior as something necessary in this specific case. It always leads to harm, but some people--and some sins--suffer greater consequences in the eyes of the world, whether or not they deserve it. I wish the story had developed and resolved this theme better in places, but the raw material there is fascinating food for thought.
This book is Gaskell at her preachiest, but also Gaskell at her kindest. It explores deep, difficult issues in a very loving way. As a story, there are ways it could be better, but I'm very glad I read it. Perhaps I'm making a point to be kinder to it because I know it's the type of story that today's readers tend to judge harshly. But amid my issues with the story, there are some lovely images, some great messages, and some wonderful characters that going to be living in my heart for a long time.
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I wish there was more steddie time travel fics. Where steddie travels back all the way to season one. Maybe both or one of them. Actually both because the comedic potential. Like Steve and Eddie trying to change things and save the day. And anyone who sees them sneaking around thinks they are in a secret gay relationship. Nancy has this whole theory that her boyfriend is gay and sneaking off with Eddie Munson. Reason why he's being distant and hiding things. And on one hand she's not wrong, because steddie has so much unresolved sexual tension that one is oblivious to and the other is to afriad to admit to. But on the other hand is she way way off.
okay tbh, as great as that would be, i don't think everyone would immediately jump to the gay thing. if this is during steve's kingly days, he's got enough sway and popularity that people would bend over backwards to prove he's a Normal Straight American Boy.
what i think would be more likely, considering he throws those parties and is a good athlete, people would assume he's either developing an addiction on something OR taking steroids. nancy would be SO worried about it because omg steve, do you know what drugs do to your brain? how are you going to get into college if you keep doing that stuff??
meanwhile, steve is touched by her concern and also like...just going along with it? What is he supposed to do? That explanation makes WAY more sense than the whole Upside Down nonsense that they're trying to prevent. So now you've got Steve--who can do a mean kegstand but has literally never even considered doing anything harder than that because DUH the hard stuff would fuck up his body and he's an ATHLETE--trying to pretend he's got to get his Drugs so he has to cancel his plans with Nancy and go see Eddie RIGHT NOW. Because of Drugs. No other reason.
But we all know Nancy is a stubborn bastard (affectionate), so she'd definitely use her investigative skills to find out more. She'd track down this Eddie Munson guy and give him a piece of her mind. Now, this Nancy is still pretty mild and is lacking guns because the UD stuff hasn't hit her yet, but Eddie remembers with crystal clarity his Nancy and her weapons proficiency and reacts to past Nancy accordingly. As in, he immediately apologizes for anything and everything and promises not to do it again, please don't hurt him.
Now Nancy is confused as to why this big bad leather and chain wearing drug dealer is practically cowering before her. She starts to suspect other stuff is going on because the pieces aren't adding up. Eventually she figures out what's happening and joins Steve and Eddie because while they're both creative and skilled in their own ways, they're not really that great at the actual investigating bit of the plan-making process.
It's only then, when she's spending more time with the two of them together, does she start to catch on to the way Eddie looks at Steve. She remembers the rumors that go around about Eddie, so she's not too surprised because Steve is stupid hot and really good in bed, like, so good, the things that boy could do with his tongue will stay with her always. What does catch her off guard is the way Steve reacts whenever Eddie does something that edges around flirty (but still has plausible deniability). He doesn't get disgusted, he gets confused and ruminates over it. It's curious (though if nancy were honest to herself, she'd admit that she's never really understood all the romance stuff and it's never particularly appealed to her). If there were more time, she'd probably study them more.
But there are more important things happening, so she's going to leave them to deal with that mess on their own.
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for a bunch of people who supposedly love supernatural, huge chunks of the fandom sure seem afraid to love it in earnest without adding asterisks to their own interest, considering how often people apparently feel the need to disclaim that it’s Bad or everything good about it was supposedly an Accident
society if everyone could just perhaps stop making posts about and/or giving hundreds of notes to posts about how much Potential the show had but how Poorly Executed it supposedly universally was. alas, technology does not allow me to mute a specific flavor of post so instead I must complain
but whatever, RIP to those people but I am different. as always I’m wearing a shirt that says “ask me about how supernatural is an incredibly unique piece of media that will never have an equal and that made television history; infamously stretched and played with the boundaries of various genres just because its creative team thought it’d be cool; was introduced as character-driven and maintained that to great success; and boasts a remarkably cohesive vision as a body of work that is testament to the skill and dedication of those who crafted it even though its creative teams transitioned through several shifts, adapted around industry uncertainties, changed the narrative in response to organic and noticed potential, and were limited by network interference”
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