#the way I’m gonna be 25 very soon is so tragic and awful

[jennortegas]

I haven’t been as active on here because of work and just overall adulting but I appreciate the reblogs and stuff on the things I’ve made and the things I’ve been tagged in :’))))

[gifted-burnout-archive]

The Other Side of Hollywood

Part One

Requested?: fuck no, I wrote this one all for my ownsome.

Word Count: 4.0K+

Author’s Note: My GOD! Julie and the Phantoms is amazing, and while I have the theory I enjoy it so much because I didn’t really have a ‘teenage years’, I really don’t give a shit. I’m writing Luke Patterson fluff and you can all suck it!

Warning: um, none yet. This is a very PG show so PG fic.

Context: This is a reader insert mini series. It goes from 1x05 of JATP until the end, I’ll be releasing a part every day/two days. It is Luke x Reader, as much as I love my Juke ship, so Luke and Julie’s relationship is a lot more friendly than in the show. Also, some scenes may be different, dialogue from the show is used, yada yada.

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Some might not believe it, but life starts, properly starts, when you die. At least, it did for Y/N Y/L/N.

Her life on earth had been short, and dull, and ended tragically with plenty left undone: it didn’t surprise her that she came back as a ghost. If anything, she would have been a bit shocked if she hadn’t: she had, after all, died with so much potential wasted, so much she could have done.

She was lucky that Caleb had found her.

“5 minutes ladies!” A voice called from afar, receiving a chorus of ‘thank you five’ from around the dressing room as performers hurried to get the last of their makeup and hair done, readying for that’s night’s performance, and knocking Y/N from a stupor. She came back to reality, taking the lid off the lipstick she had been playing with for the last ten minutes and finally applying it, then proceeding to take the curlers out her hair and slip on her heels for the night. Caleb had mentioned for her to be on the look out for special guests in front, and she had dressed in her best costume for the occasion.

She heard a sigh of relief as she finally moved from the mirror, a few of the girls crowding the vanity to start applying their finishing touches, none of them brave enough to interrupt Y/N’s ponderings: she may have died at 17, but none of the dancers had been with the club as long as she had, none were as faithful to Caleb as she was.

She had been his right-hand woman for almost 25 years now, some of the staff had barely been there a quarter of that time.

Her heels clicked as she headed for the stage, blowing a pin curl from her face and tucking it back into place as she took a spot on the stage and looked out at the crowd forming: from the looks of it, that night would be their busiest all week. The lifers were starting to settle at tables, collecting the last drinks before the opening number of the evening, mingling with excitement in the air and secrecy on their lips: they were getting to experience something forbidden, something beyond reality, after all.

She scanned the room, looking for the familiar face she had grown to love over the past decades, finally finding him stood in his best tuxedo – which consisted of a tailcoat, patterned black and gold shirt, and a pair of tailored board shorts – at the foot of the staircase with three boys around the same age as them, all watching in awe as lifers passed through them and proceeding to question her best friend.

“Willie!” She called, running over with a wave and a smile to him and the trio, getting a good look at them all as Willie’s arm came around her waist and hugged her into his side. The first, a familiar looking tall, lanky blonde kid in a jean jacket that Y/N was sure was the guy Willie had been gushing over just an hour or so earlier; the second was the tallest, close to a foot taller than Y/N herself, with quiffed black hair slicked back with gel, dressed like a new age Rockstar in leather and red colours. And then the third, with a dopey grin and a mop of chocolate hair on his head, paired with a painted denim overcoat and obscure band tee underneath, who unashamedly looked her over as she stood at Willie’s side.

“Guys, this is Y/N, my best friend.” Willie introduced her to be met with raised eyebrows from the three. By appearance alone, Willie constantly in a state of casual skater attire, and Y/N stood in front of them with pin curls, high heels and a blue sequin number that accentuated every one of her features, it just didn’t seem like they could be friends. “She looks a lot different in the day time.”

“Very funny William.” Y/N quipped back, elbowing him playfully in the side. “Why don’t I show you all to your table?” She offered, holding out a hand to the one in the leather jacket, who took her hand with a slack jaw and dumbfounded nod of the head.

“Yes, yes please.” He managed, and Y/N led the four down to their table, front and centre. “I’m Reggie, by the way. And that’s Alex and Luke. We’re in a band… Actually, we’re here tonight because-” Reggie started to ramble, but Y/N held a manicured finger to his lips, an innocent smile on her face.

“We don’t talk business here. You sit down and enjoy the show, alright? I’m sure Willie can keep you company, sort you boys out.” She said with a flirty tone, a habit she had grown into working the HGC scene: easier to flirt with the guests, often means a bigger pay-out by the end of the night. Willie pulled out a chair for Alex, the blonde one, who smiled shyly at her friend and sat down, Luke the last to take his place at the table.

“Y/N, is it?” He asked, looking her over a second time. He sat back in his chair, a smirk on his face as she came closer, her hand resting on the back of his chair.

“Careful there handsome, I don’t fraternise with guests.” She laughed a little as she said it, blowing a kiss in his direction before disappearing back stage for the show, soon to start. It took Luke a second to look away, to focus back on what the three had come there for: their old bandmate had stolen their music, passed it off as his own, and they were quite intent on making him pay.

“Ok, so, who’s going to make us visible so we can confront our old band mate?” He asked Willie, looking around the room at the lifers, wondering if one of them had the same weird power Julie seemed to possess.

“Oh, no, no, none of these lifers have the power to do that.” Willie corrected, just as music started up from the stage. “Oh, but here comes the ghost who does.” Willie drummed his fingers on the table in excitement, leaving the three bandmates rather confused. Willie had brought them there with no real information about what or who they were meeting.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” a male voice announced from nowhere in particular, “Back from the dead by popular demand, please welcome Caleb Covington.” The words were met with applause and cheers from the crowd, Willie letting out a few whoops and prompting the boys to start clapping as in a puff of purple smoke, a man appeared in the middle of the air.

“Did you miss me?” he asked, reaching his arms out in a gesture of thanks to the loving crowds, dressed in black and purple satin. He was met with a collective ‘hell yeah’ from the audience, causing Reggie, Luke and Alex to share side glances, all a little on edge. “I did too!” He responded, met with laughter and more cheers. “Welcome to the party of your dreams!” He introduced, his voice commanding attention and respect, not to mention his floating in mid-air. “From the Egyptians to the Druids, to the person sitting next to you, we’ve all wondered ‘where do we go when that final light is snuffed out’?” The bandmates couldn’t deny, this Caleb guy was certainly intriguing. “Let me show you.

“Let me introduce myself, we’ve got some time to kill. Consider me the pearly gates to your new favourite thrills.” He moved forward in the air, floating closer and closer to the boys’ table at the front, and Luke couldn’t help but feel that Caleb was singing to them, to him. “We could go make history or you could rest in peace, but here there ain’t no misery cause on the other side we live like kings.

“Whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do? Let your body loose, let your body loose. Whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do? Show you a thing or two cause you ain’t seen nothing…” With a flick of his cape as he landed down, the stage suddenly filled with musicians and dancers, all ghosts that had been invisible to even the four dead boys in the front.

“Life, is good on the other side of Hollywood.” The song continued, and as his counterparts took in the full ensemble on stage, Luke found his eyes drifting to the girl they had met, Willie’s friend Y/N. She had managed in the few moments from leaving to arriving on stage to have sprayed a lock of her curls blue, and come into possession of a feather fan the same colours as her dress. Another girl stood across the stage in the same attire, except she also sported a blue wig and headpiece, which it seems Y/N had forgone.

Luke had reason to stare of course: not only was she beautiful, but a talented dancer, and as Caleb sang away she joined in on backing vocals, the pair linking arms as she danced around him, then spun into a dip, Caleb’s arm holding her steady as she fluttered her fan. Movement around them snatched his attention from her, waiters in pink suits coming from all sides to form a circle around Caleb.

What followed was a barrage of temptation: from the countless desserts circling past to the girl that appeared from under their table cloth to the trapeze artists and the dancing that got everyone on their feet and cheering along. It was only after Caleb ended the number by disappearing thanks to the help of Y/N and her fellow fan girl that the room finally settled down a little.

“This is so cool…” Reggie muttered, waving to some lifers across the room: they could see him, see them: actually see them.

“Dude, I knew I recognised him.” Alex gestured, pulling Reggie’s attention from his apparent visibility and Luke’s from scanning the room for a certain girl in blue. “He’s the guy that bumped into me outside the Orpheum.”

“Wait. Isn’t he that magician dude that died a horrible death doing a trick?” Reggie asked Willie, who laughed a little in response.

“Yeah, but I wouldn’t bring that up whenever we meet him.” Alex scolded Reggie, who rolled his eyes in response.

“Yeah, but you should come back when he shows one of his movies.” Willie interjected with a grin. “I mean, for Titanic, he literally floods the entire place. I mean, the guy has got skills.”

“Alright, but he can, like, wave his arms and make ghosts visible to lifers?” Luke asked, perhaps the most rooted in reality after the performance, still quite set on their goal for coming here, for cutting it short of their performance with Julie.

“Told you, the guy’s got skills.” Willie shrugged, and Reggie looked back at the stage.

“So, uh, where’d he go?” He asked, taking a glance into the stage wings before turning back round and jumping back about a foot in surprise, Caleb stood right behind Alex and Luke. “Oh wow! Found him! Ha!”

“Hello boys, Caleb Covington. Welcome to the Hollywood Ghost Club.” Caleb introduced himself, a smile on his face and the accent of a fifties radio presenter. “Enjoying the show?” He asked, and Luke took lead.

“That was… I mean… Did you… Like…” He tried to articulate it, but found his mind going back to the girl in the blue dress and went a little red, and gave up trying to find the words, letting his appraising arms fall to their sides.

“I know.” Caleb responded with a light chuckle.

“This is Alex, Luke, and Reggie.” Willie introduced them all to Caleb.

“it’s really nice to meet you.” Alex offered, Reggie following it with a peace sign and a ‘sup?’, which put a smile on Caleb’s face.

“The pleasure is all mine. Nothing warms my heart more than sharing this magic with new friends.” Caleb explained, gesturing for the boys to take a seat as he took one of his own. “Now, our friend Willie here tells me you guys have some magic of your own?” He questioned Alex, who’s eyes widened at the man’s quizzing.

“Willie and I? I wouldn’t call it magic exactl-” Alex started his response, his voice getting squeakier as he went on, but was quickly cut off by Willie’s hand on his shoulder.

“He means your ghost abilities. You know, like, to be seen by everybody when you play with Julie.” Willie corrected. Alex started an apology, but Caleb raised a hand, showing it wasn’t needed.

“Yeah, but we can’t really wave our arms and do all this magic stuff.” Luke added, but Caleb didn’t seem phased by his humbling of their ability.

“Well, I’ve had some practice. Our gifts are so rare, so special. It’s not often I come across other spirits who possess similar talents.” Caleb explained. “It’s no surprise we found each other.”

“Yeah, that… definitely…” Luke agreed, and Caleb smile briefly, standing from his chair.

“If you’ll forgive me fellas, I gotta go pay the bills, if you know what I’m saying. I’ll be back later to chat.” The host excused himself, all of their eyes following to find Willie’s friend Y/N stood in a black dress, waiting for Caleb. “My darling! Oh, look at that dress! Where have you been?” He asked her.

Unbeknownst to the bandmates, Willie and Y/N shared a glance as Caleb took her by the waist and led her towards the back stage area, and Willie checked the time.

9.10… The boys were late to their gig, and if the Hollywood Ghost Club had anything to do with it, they would never arrive.

--

As the night continued on, and after Reggie learned the shocking revelations that not only was Han Solo killed in the Star Wars franchise, but that they added a character named Jar Jar Binks, Willie found himself fleeing for a moment. He had spent the entire night with Alex, and the more time he spent with him, the more he liked the guy.

Willie needed some air, a break, and in searching for it he ran into Y/N.

“Aren’t you meant to be out there? Flirting with the lanky one?” She asked with a teasing tone, running her fingers through her curls, slowly separating them into waves. “He’s cute, I’ll give you that. And your type. And dead, which is a huge bonus. I’m tired of watching crush over men you can’t actually touch.”

“Yeah well… He was asking too many questions, didn’t want to spook him.” Willie shrugged, rubbing his arm. He didn’t like the feeling in his stomach, and Y/N could tell he felt off.

“Do you need to sit this out? I can keep them entertained; I have a feeling the one in denim has arms like Adonis.” She offered with a giggle, and Willie frowned a little. “Oh come on, Willie… It’s not like they’re being branded or anything. We’re just…” She paused, glancing over as she spotted Caleb talking to the trio, then offering them stacked plates of food. “We’re perks to the package.” She winked at her friend, who rolled his eyes at her words and pulled her to his side for a hug.

“You make it sound like the dream job.” Willie chuckled, hanging his head a little.

“Isn’t it?” Y/N raised a brow, and squished his face between her fingers before planting a kiss on his cheek. “Let them eat for a while, join them later if you feel up to it. I’ll be getting denim on the dance floor though.” She shrugged, heading to go fix her makeup when Willie got her arm.

“His name is Luke… And from what I can tell, he’s actually a pretty nice guy.” He told her, met with a smirk and batting eyelashes.

“Just how I like them.” She replied, pulling her arm away and heading back to the dressing room, leaving Willie in a state of quandary.

By the time the final performance of the night was ready to begin, Reggie, Alex and Luke had eaten three platefuls of food each, having forgotten what pizza and burgers and meatball subs actually tasted like. And as Reggie found himself defending kissing his meatball sub to Alex, Luke felt a tap on his shoulder, and he turned to see Y/N stood behind him with a smirk painted on red lips.

“Well, how can I be of service?” He asked her, wiping the last traces of pizza grease from his fingertips onto his jeans, earning a genuine smile from the glamour model of a woman.

“It’s what I can do for you…” She replied, holding out a hand to him. “You’ll be in need of a dance partner shortly.” She explained as Caleb took the stage, starting his monologue about how “we do dessert”.

“I thought you said you didn’t fraternise.” Luke reminded as the music started up and the dance floor filled, the room once again alive with cheers and clapping. Y/N walked backwards into the middle of the floor, Willie quickly joining her centre stage as the beat picked up on entry into the chorus and the room got to their feet.

“You’re the exception to the rule, Denim.” Y/N called back, Luke grinning at the nickname she had given him, earning a nudge from Alex. He swatted his friend playfully as the three of them watched Y/N and Willie join in a huge dance routine.

Life is good on the other side of Hollywood.

Caleb’s voice resonated in the air as waiters, showgirls, and the like all started pulling patrons onto the floor with them. Caleb approached the trio, beckoning the girl who had popped up from their table earlier that night to dance her way through each bandmate: ending with a shimmy to the floor in front of Reggie that had the poor boy near unconscious.

As one of the girls in blue took the recovering Reggie onto the dance floor, and as Alex wondered where Willie had disappeared to, Y/N made her way over to Luke and offered her hand. This time, instead of asking questions, Luke took it eagerly. He didn’t hesitate in walking her on to the dance floor though, instead pulling her close by the waist as her hands rested on his chest.

“You know how to jive?” She asked him, the pair stood still for a moment amongst the chaos around them. There was so much of it, Y/N almost didn’t notice Caleb sending Willie backstage with a flick of his finger, but she was quickly pulled from her thoughts. Luke had responded to her question by taking her hand and spinning her out before coiling her back in. Her arms went over his head, Luke spinning this time as they began kicking feet in perfect synchronicity and in time with the music. Luke pulled Y/N close, lifting her up and spinning with her, causing the girl to shriek and throw her head back in laughter.

As the song came to an end, Y/N glanced back to the stage and received a firm nod from the belting host, her cue to leave. She spun Luke out of her grasp once she hit the floor, handing him over to one of the show girls who promptly dipped him at the same time as Reggie fell for the same move, leaving both boys laughing as Y/N disappeared behind the stage.

She and Willie had both done their jobs after all, she could go back to her room for the night, get some rest. She walked over to her vanity backstage, wiping away the stage makeup, brushing out her curls, and changing into more comfortable clothes. She only stopped when she heard the gong of the club’s clock.

Midnight.

She sighed, glancing in the mirror one last time before heading out to the front of house, noticing the boys she had been acquainted with that night were no longer on the floor, instead making a bee-line for the exit. Her feet were quick to follow, slowing only when Caleb poofed into place in front of the fleeing teens.

“Gentlemen, what’s the rush?” He asked, his eyes catching on Y/N for a moment as she disappeared back into the crowds. “The party’s just getting started, and you have eternity, after all.” He reminded them with a cheerful smile.

“You know that girl who can see us? We sort of bailed on her.” Reggie began through ragged breath, thanks to Alex and Luke pulling him from the dancefloor. “See, there’s this dance at her school and her friend Flynn is a super cool DJ, like-”

“Ok, I don’t think he has an eternity to hear the story.” Alex interrupted.

“Basically, we’re late for a gig.” Luke finished, and Caleb frowned at the words, prompting an eavesdropping Y/N to step a touch closer.

“But what about my offer?” Caleb asked, raising a disapproving eyebrow.

“It’s very cool of you, Mr Covington, but, like I said, we already have a-” Luke began again, but Caleb raised his hands in defeat.

“A band of your own.” He finished for the boys, Y/N pondering it over. Had Caleb wanted the three for the house band? “I understand… But boys, if you ever want to come back and fix that little problem with your friend, the Hollywood Ghost Club is always open.”

And there it was, the final temptation.

“Yeah man, we’d love to come back.” Luke smiled.

“Music to my ears!” Caleb returned the affectionate expression, offering a hand to each of the boys in turn. With each shake, the boys pulled back, a mark becoming branded on their wrist. When they frowned at the symbol, Caleb interrupted. “Oh, it’s just a little club stamp.” He assured, and their faces lit back up again. “Until next time.” Luke was first to exit, and Y/N followed after him quickly, stopping him just before he reached the stairs to leave.

“You’ve got good feet on you…” She said with a smile, catching him by surprising and evoking a smile.

“You’re not half bad yourself…” He countered, taking a few steps closer. She held a finger up for a moment, walking over to a table on the far side of the room and picking up a pen before returning.

“Arm.” She demanded, and Luke held it out willingly. Y/N frowned for a second, noticing the marking on his wrist, but didn’t let it stop her from pushing up his sleeve and writing a phone number on his arm. “You might think it’s bizarre, but I have access to a landline. There’s one at the club. Call me if you decide on coming back… Or…” She blushed a little, and Luke grinned.

“Or if I want to call up the pretty showgirl and see her outside of the club? I will.” He assured her, puling his sleeve back down as Reggie walked out the club, his eyes widening at the pair, having to take a second glance at Y/N out of her costume: while neither he nor Luke could read minds, they were both thinking the same thing.

Y/N somehow looked even better out of her showgirl get up.

Perhaps it was the mismatched converse high tops, or the fishnet tights under her ripped shorts, maybe it was the ripped band tee displaying the iron maiden cover art, Luke wasn’t sure. But she was gorgeous, and knowing she seemed to like what he did just added to the fact.

“See you around, Denim.” Y/N smiled, lifting the collar of his jacket for a moment before letting it go and heading inside, walking past Alex as she went.

“Was that Willie’s friend?” He asked in surprise, Reggie nodding.

“I think Luke’s in love.” He teased, earning a punch on the arm from the band’s led guitarist.

“Shut it, Reggie. Now, let’s get to that dance.” Luke quickly reminded them, the three quickly disappearing with the destination of Julie’s school in mind, all of them preparing for a major scolding for being three hours late.

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Part Two is here...

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Tags: @im-a-writer-right​

[multimetaverse]

Riverdale 5x03 Recap

Jellybean was born and raised in Riverdale though?? She only moved to Ohio after her mom left FP

Good on FP for doing what’s best for his daughter but probably should have told Alice beforehand that you’re skipping town

We’re ending this era of Riverdale as it began with Tom Keller as Sheriff. Hope he has a scene with his son tonight!

Jughead saying those kids almost looked innocent asleep was pretty messed up of him. 1) those are clearly homeless kids having to sleep in a fucking gym and 2) as bad as the voyeur vids were they still pale in comparison to the crimes that high school kids have been involved in over the years

Oooh man that Luke Perry is just brutal

It’s crazy to think of how far the show has come since that first scene of Cheryl and Jason Blossom in all white heading down to the river

Alice might be the most tragic living character on Riverdale, her life has just been wrecked over and over and over

It’s awful how realistic the army recruitment booth inside the school is. The Saved by the Bell reboot had a great joke about military recruitment of teens (it’s a much better show than Riverdale and I highly recommend it and it’s already been renewed for S2)

It’s nice that they brought Weatherbee back for the final high school eps

LOL at the Red Circle shade

The yearbook as a device to look back at some of the show’s history is clever. Also reveals how clearly chapter 79 which was supposed to be the S4 finale was also being written as a possible series finale

It’s very odd that Archie’s poor grades of all things are what the writers just to be realistic about. Nice of Weatherbee to let Archie walk with his friends though

Ladies and Gentlemen that could possibly be the last Varchie sex scene we ever see

Considering the US only abolished conscription after the Vietnam war, I don’t think those 4 students back in 1945 had much of a choice in joining the army. Although they lucked out with the timing since the war with Japan would end within months while they were still in basic training

Not Archie lying to both Jughead and Veronica about his post high school plans

FP telling Jughead he’s old enough to be on his own is rich considering Jughead was basically homeless and on his own in S1

Good on Cheryl for getting her red robe

Finally Tom Keller gets a scene with his son!

Omfg I can’t handle this Archie cover of Green Day

Yaas Penelope lurking in the bushes. I’m gonna miss that Queen, hope she gets out of jail soon enough

RIP Falice. It will never cease to amaze me that right when the obstacles that should have stopped Bughead such as their parents being in a relationship and their shared half-brother are swept away that Bughead is being broken up

Well good bye for now and maybe forever FP Jones. You were the best of the surviving fathers which is admittedly a hell of a low bar

Pop’s is rightfully restored to Pop Tate

Kevin mentioning Josie and the Pussycats threw me

I guess from now on we’ll always see Jughead without that stupid hat, that’s weird

These grad scenes have been surprisingly poignant but they fall flat when they include the wider group. How many lines have Kevin, Fangs, Reggie, and Sweetpea even had lately? Has Kevin done anything of note since Hedwig? We’re a long way from when he was Betty’s best friend. And what has Reggie been up to? I noticed his dad wasn’t at grad, is that because he’s dead? Is there ever gonna be a follow up on Reggie smashing his dad’s car?

Don’t have a great feeling about this vow

Archie sure knows how to kill the mood. The worst thing about Archie’s speech is its accuracy. The US military really does offer a path to a middle class existence especially for kids with no other options. The life outcomes for people without high school degrees are grim and Archie really is grasping the last, best way to try and turn around his life

This Choni breakup is so sad 

The CW is wildin out letting Betty take off her bra for sex. What a bizarre transition from tearful confession to sex. Perhaps the last Bughead sex scene we’ll ever see

Just realized that Vegas will very likely be dead by the time we pick back up in 7 years

These scenes would have more impact if the show had focused on the Archie/Jughead and Veronica/Betty friendship

Wow bringing the old car out for one last drive

These flashbacks are sad, especially the Luke Perry one

God I hope Nana Rose survives the 7 year gap

Jesus Christ, so Jughead had a home he could have stayed in but decided to squat at Archie’s instead??

Poor Jughead being the only one to keep the vow

Well this really is the end of an era. Riverdale will never be the same after this episode. From the promos we know that Veronica is married to a controlling wall street douche, Archie is wounded overseas, Betty is an FBI agent, and Jughead a writer. The crisis that brings them all back is Hiram dissolving the town of Riverdale for his nefarious ends

Veronica marrying a man who shares some traits with Hiram is not surprising though the fact that she’s married is interesting, both in that there’s no way that marriage will last and in how her husband is jealous of her past with Archie, it’s an easy way to start heading towards Varchie again if the writers choose. There’s no way that Betty would be get in to the FBI with a serial killer father and half brother but we’ll see what new killer the writers can come up with. It looks like Jughead is a tortured artist. I appreciate the costume designers for making Archie’s military uniform so retro that it looks like he’s being shipped off to Korea to stop it going the way of Red China 

Looking back it’s extremely bizarre that they did what they did with Barchie. It really served no purpose since they all would have gone their separate ways anyways

Well looks like Cheryl hasn’t been successful in thwarting Hiram. I would imagine that much of Veronica’s story after the time gap is her wrestling with whether to take on her father and to claim the Lodge legacy for herself once and for all. Archie had always been her guiding light in that regard and we’ll see if can play that role in the future

This 7 year gap brings the characters ages up to 25 which is much closer to the actor’s actual ages which will help in that regard. But time jumps are tricky and 7 years is quite a gap, double the length of time that these first 79 eps have lasted. Sadly, Riverdale was renewed for a 6th season but realistically the bulk of the series has now passed and whatever adventures the gang gets up to as adults will get far less time dedicated to them. Some sort of time jump was probably always necessary if the show lasted as long as it had but I’m skeptical that Riverdale can pull it off. Until next week Riverdalers

[lizacstuff]

Anon asks: SCK Fragman 38 speculation

(Asks under the cut)

Anonymous said: Do you think they're getting married this next episode? idk if the tattoos were confirmation

I think it’s possible? But I also think it’s entirely possible that they get the tattoos as a symbol of their love and a promise of sorts that they are through messing around, but they’re not actually married yet.  Frankly, they already gave us all the wedding hoopla with these two, I’m absolutely fine with an elopement or quick courthouse style wedding, or just a couple of witnesses in a garden. Whatever they want! Let’s just get her done.

Also... I know I said it before, but I’m just in love with the idea of these tattoos. Such a great solution to their ring issue. 

Anonymous said: Thoughts on all these twitter theories from the “sick” line in the fragman?

- it’s about piril and engins kid bc basak and anil filmed in the hospital, and piril was hit by a car in 36 and in 37 she had that moment where she clutched her abdomen and had to sit down

- it’s a flashback serkan has to when his brother alp was sick

- serkan is sick and it’s a way to reveal Kemal as his bio dad (blood or organ donation)

- serkan is sick and it’s a way to reveal eda is pregnant when they draw blood from her to donate

That fragman could be hinting at so many things, and it very well could have been misleading. So lets take each theory in turn. 

“it’s about piril and engins kid bc basak and anil filmed in the hospital, and piril was hit by a car in 36 and in 37 she had that moment where she clutched her abdomen and had to sit down”

Very possible. Engin thinking something had happened to Piril two eps ago did feel like foreshadowing, almost preparing the audience for something. It would be so heartbreaking if she loses the baby, and seems too dark for this show, but it is something that happens to millions of women, so we’ll see.

Also can you imagine after the way Piril stuck by Selin, if Piril lost her baby, and she then witnesses Selin using her baby as a pawn to get revenge on Serkan and Eda?  I’d like to see Piril and Engin’s reaction to that. Though again I think that’s pretty dark, especially for the side couple. 

- it’s a flashback serkan has to when his brother alp was sick

I think this is a very good guess. Serkan probably will see a doctor after he passed out, and if it is another panic attack brought on by the stress of losing Eda, I could see a doctor telling him if he wants to move past the panic attacks, he needs to get at the root of his abandonment issues, which all lead back to his brother’s death. That could be why he’s getting out a box of his things and reading that letter.  So I could very well see a flashback happening to Alp’s diagnosis.

- serkan is sick and it’s a way to reveal Kemal as his bio dad (blood or organ donation)

I’m honestly fully onboard with Kemal as Serkan’s bio dad.  I hear a lot of people poopooing the idea because of opportunity, but I think they told us when it could have happened. In their first meeting, (unless my subs were bad) Aydan mentioned that Kemal had returned once to apologize for standing her up when they were young and going to run away together. I assume that was the window. Kemal showed up years later (after Alp was born) to apologize.. they had a fling and there’s the opportunity for Serkan to be his son. 

Though, to me, if they’re doing something with Serkan’s health it’s got to be related to the plane crash. The chest clutching since he’s been back is concerning, plus wasn’t his hand shaking at one point? So I don’t see him having some serious underlying issue that’s unrelated. This guy does not shy away from going to the doctor and was just in the hospital for probably over a month recovering, so you’d think if there was anything wrong before, we’d know it.  Unless the plane crash acerbated something that’s genetic? And/or requires a match like bone marrow or kidney. I suppose they could give Serkan some rare blood type and that would be something applicable to most any ailment. We shall see. 

- serkan is sick and it’s a way to reveal eda is pregnant when they draw blood from her to donate

This one I think is the least likely. It’s been very fuzzy how much time has passed, but at the minimum 3 months since they were supposed to get married and were having sex, so if Eda were pregnant I think she would have noticed the signs by now.  

Anonymous said: Liza, I know they won’t kill Serkan, but could you reassure me that they won’t? I’ve followed you since Once and you were always good at reassuring.

Ha! I remember making lists of all the reasons they would never kill Hook. 

THEY WON’T KILL SERKAN.

And I’m even more certain of this than I ever was of them not killing Hook, and I was damn certain then. 

There is literally not ONE reason for this show to exist without Eda and Serkan. Not one. This is their love story, and really, storyline wise, the show should have ended awhile ago, and the only reason they keep it going is to keep Hande and Kerem on screen together, making their magic. Seriously, that’s the only reason.

You see how Serkan dying would be counter to that, right?  And if the show were about to end, trust me, there is nothing in it for anyone to have a tragic ending. This started as a romantic comedy, and will end as one, with a happily ever after. And if you’re still nervous, trust this, the production company is still hopeful to sell it into even more foreign markets, especially English language ones, a surprise tragic, twist ending that gets vilified on social media (and trust me this fandom is huge, vocal and capable) would really hurt those chances. 

So even if we’re headed into a bad diagnosis for Serkan, he will be fine in the end, it will just be something for him and Eda to fight through. I promise. 

Anonymous said: thoughts on that wonderfully beautiful fragman? i was watching with hearts in my eyes and then read the translations.. poor serkan!! if it really isn't misleading i definitely think it's some consequence of the plane crash. but, we are secure in what kind of show this is and the full knowledge that it's not a drama and no one is gonna actually die, i'm excited for the potential this storyline is gonna give us!! (esp with the return of the old writers)

I can’t wait to see that rain scene, and the after-the-rain scene and their motorcycle ride. The fragman was very beautiful, but it also felt very poignant and a little melancholy.

It’s interesting with the announcement that the second writing team was back, there were tidbits from several legit entertainment-type reporters yesterday that the show was going back to it’s roots being funny and entertaining.  So a terrible diagnosis for one of the current characters, especially the romantic leading man, doesn’t really fit with that. 

It the writers hadn’t changed I’d be more concerned, not about a character dying, just about the show leaning into some big sort of health-related melodrama.  But I think whatever might be happening will be in service to the plot.  As far as Serkan having a health-scare related to the crash, as I said above it’s very plausible. I mean what are the chances that a man survives a plane crash, is fished out of the sea, spends weeks in a hospital, gets amnesia and is perfectly fine 3-4 months later with no other repercussion? Doesn’t seem possible! 

Anonymous said: Liza, the second set of writers is really coming back! We might actually get comeuppance for Selin!

YESS!!!!! Please. I had completely lost hope with the last set of writers who seemed hellbent on normalizing her behavior.  Look I’d be fine with a 3 minute conversation where Serkan tells her that he knows she’s a manipulative liar and the baby is not his, that he wants her out of their lives for good, and that if she ever comes near Eda ever again he will personally destroy her. 

Is that so much to ask?

Though I’d like her to be humiliated in front of the rest of the team. Just so everyone knows what kind of psycho she is and no one in Edser’s orbit is tempted to give her another chance ever again. 

It will be interesting to see how this plays out.  With the news that Sarp Can (Deniz) is COVID positive, he obviously won’t be back on set anytime soon. They could probably get some VO from him if necessary, for a phone convo, but I’m gonna guess he’s done on screen. 

It’s time to write both characters out! 

As for the 22-23, 25-30 writers coming back, that is the best news I’ve had in ages.  They weren’t perfect, but the things they did well, they did really, really well. Their comedy, romantic scenes, heartfelt dialogue, accurate characterizations and penchant for sizzling scenes that “break the Turkish family structure” will all be most welcome. I’m really excited for the first time in ages. 

Anonymous said: Very interesting that the fragman did not address the Selin baby drama at all. It focused solely on Edser which was a welcome change while at the same time has me a bit nervous for the angst & drama no doubt headed our way. But if Eda & Serkan are together for good now to face the challenges coming then I cannot wait to watch. The last episode was so well done but Eda & Serkan were both near their breaking points for different reasons & you just felt awful for both of them. Really glad that the engagement did not happen and the show focused on the fallout from Serkan’s amnesia. And even had the side characters addressing how difficult things have been for Eda and that she might need some time before picking things back up with Serkan! Looking forward to the resolution of the baby story/exit of Selin and seeing Eda & Serkan heal together.

I hope that the fact that nothing Selin-related was addressed in the fragman means that we finally have people in charge who understand that we are so damned fatigued of Selin that featuring her an active deterrent for viewers.  Also I haven’t seen any evidence that Bige has been on set for 38. That doesn’t mean she hasn’t, it’s still possible, but it is encouraging that the ep will be  light on Selin. 

As far as the drama and angst, I think there’s more headed our way, however I’m hopeful it will be the good kind and not the kind that made us really uncomfortable and want to tear our hair out during the Selin/Deniz era. We know that Eda and Serkan must decide to stay together (spending time together, ring finger tattoos) so the point of the pregnancy storyline is done. When Eda found out Selin was pregnant, it gave Selin the chance for one last Hail Mary pass, and she took it, trying to break them up, but it failed. So it’s usefulness is over. She can’t keep the charade going because of Deniz, and because once Serkan has time to calm down and think, he’ll realize that any time in Slovania where he was so injured that it’s possible he doesn’t remember, he also would have been too physically incapacitated to do anything of the sort. 

As for Eda needing some time, yes, things in 36 were just too easy for Serkan in terms of the fallout from his amnesic behavior. Episode 37 made him work for it and I think come to terms with the fact that, Selin manipulations or no, there’s work to do and things he needs to atone for.  Putting her first throughout the episode, and showering her with love, was a good start. 

Anonymous said: The conversations Selin had with Eda, Serkan and Aydan in this episode had my blood boiling. Someone stop this psycho! The unnecessary hole digging was real, my god. I don't care if she's pregnant, don't hold Eda back this time and let her fight this snake. Let everyone fight her! If she's lying to Deniz now, he can fight her too.

I know, she reached new levels of abusive manipulation.  They better be planning a comeuppance, if she’s just allowed to leave with people waving goodbye, I will scream.  The Aydan conversation with her posing the question about abortion was something else. It came across to me more as a threat. Like... I’m thinking about doing this, if you don’t want my decision to be your fault, you better stay on the right side of me. 

The Eda and Serkan stuff goes without saying. It still floors me that she’s willing to pretend like she raped him (if he can’t remember because he was that injured and foggy, then it’s impossible for him to have given consent.) rather than just giving up and living the truth.  

Anonymous said: Like I get it (kind of) but I am so sick of watching Serkan be nice to Selin. Very much looking forward to Serkan chewing her out for how much she hurt Eda with this fake Serkan baby daddy story when she is exposed. I get that Serkan feels he is to blame for calling her to Slovenia in the first place & essentially in his mind giving her hope of them being together but he needs to stop excusing her horrible behavior from there. No decent person would take advantage of that situation the way she did. It seems like the only way that Selin will have an epic fall is if Deniz decides to fight for the kid he knows must be his and tell Eda everything. Going to be tough for her to believe initially but it will have to start making sense once she thinks back on things and then if the photos surface then she will know it must be true.

Agreed. I get Serkan’s guilt, and it actually shows what a good person he is, but he needs to get over it.  Because seriously, all Selin was obligated to do when she got his call was to hang up, and then dial one of the following: his mother, his father, his fiancé or best friend/business partner Engin. That’s it. Call them and say, hey, Serkan’s alive, this is where you’ll find him. But NOPE! Instead she decided to fly there, manipulate him, keep him hidden and try to use it to get back with him. She made him beholden to her, just another in the long line of brainwashing and manipulation. Her flying to his bedside was the wrong thing to do, and it would be great if someone beside Eda recognized that. 

Anonymous said: Even though Selin is the worst and I just cannot wait for her to finally be unmasked as the manipulator she is, I am really looking forward to Edser in the next episode. Eda taking care of Serkan after he passes out, the two of them reaffirming their commitment to each other with the tattoos & possible elopement, Eda reassuring Serkan that she will be at his side even if the kid turns out to be his and also the two of them working together to get to the truth. So darn excited! And if the spoilers are right that Deniz tells Eda the truth and Serkan sees the photos from Ferit then I will be so happy. It is time for Selin to go for good!

SELIN MUST GO. Yes, I think as soon as the news that Selin is pregnant and trying to pass it off as Serkan’s brain-fog baby, Ferit will unleash the photos. (if it’s him that has them).  

I just want Selin and Deniz gone so we can focus on other things. Their presence on this show is a energy drain, and I want to focus on rain frolicking, motorcycles and bed sharing!!!!!  

Anonymous said: I'm so glad that we had a scene of Serkan telling Eda that even without his memories he fell in love with her again, he just couldn't admit it. Serkan has an interesting perspective on the memory loss part of their lives where I think he almost feels too guilty about it all and just wants to move past it. I've noticed that in his dialogues in 36 & 37 where he wants to leave it in the past and basically do his all to make it all up to her in the present and future.

I think this is very well observed. He definitely was trying to leave the past in the past, but honestly I think that’s just laziness on the part of the old writers, not wanting to have to have a reckoning for all the things they had him say or do. Since the writers decided to go that way, I could buy it’s because Serkan feels too guilty about it all. We know how much he loathes making mistakes or being wrong or owing apologies. If that’s what they wanted to do, it would have gone a long way if they’d shown a bit more of him blaming himself, especially in 36. 

I was also very happy that Serkan came out and said that he’s fallen in love with her again. My only thing is I wish if they were going to do that, they would have thrown a little more detail in the dialogue. Like Serkan admitting to her that he started thinking about her all the time as soon as he returned and met her, maybe admit that he slept on his office couch clutching her wedding invitation.  A couple of things like that would have been very nice for Eda to hear. 

Anonymous said: SCK sure loves creating difficult situations for Eda & Serkan. I really felt for Serkan in the last episode especially since he was back to being the romantic robot we all love. He so baldly wants to make up for lost time with Eda that he rushes ahead with the proposal and then gets crushed when she rejects him. And then spends most of the episode frantically trying to figure out what is going on with her and trying to show her how much he loves her. I was really happy though that the show addressed a few different times how awful the last few months have been for Eda and it also made Serkan address it. His plan to just forget about everything and move forward did not happen. Loved that the side characters stepped up to remind him of everything he & Selin put Eda through. Not so crazy that the show decided to use Selin’s pregnancy as the plot device to get Serkan to finally realize “oh yeah, what happened since my accident is a very big deal & now I have to face it & come to terms with it” but still glad it happened. Selin is obviously so much more in the wrong than Serkan but let’s hope her downfall takes place in the next episode.

All of this.  I think you’re exactly right, Serkan tried to brush past everything and I’m glad that finally the other characters stepped up a little to help make him see that he had more work to do. Special shout out to Seyfi for his sassy comment about Serkan almost marrying another woman. And finally Piril was useful and acted like a friend, the first time she had since he returned.  

[everlarkficexchange]

Operation: BREAD (Bring Revenge on Everdeen to Avenge Dad)

Written by: @alliswell21

Prompt 23: Rumor: MrEverdeen crossed fence dividing Town and Seam, kidnapped Mrs Everdeen making her his common law wife. Years later, Mellark sons plan to avenge their father by raiding Seam and kidnapping one of Everdeen’s daughters for one of them to take as a wife! Does Katniss “volunteer,” does she escape, how do the 3 brothers decide what to do with her since they didn’t plan it all out well? [submitted by @567inpanem]

Rated: T for now, for language.

Author’s Note: So, I resigned myself that this prompt won’t be completed by the new dateline of May 10th, because believe it not, quarantining with the husband and children at home makes for a very busy day… everyday. I haven’t been able to write anything for days at a time, and everytime I come back, I reread what I’ve written so far, and find faults that need fixing and what I hoped to be a short story is turning into a long one shot because I’m incapable of keep things simple… and now I’m ranting about everything instead of thanking everyone— from the EFE administrators, to @567inpanem for the prompt, and y’all dear readers— and wishing all moms a happy Mother’s Day, even if you celebrate it on a different date in your country… and I a belated happy birthday to Katniss Everdeen and Also a happy Mother’s Day to her, because she deserves it… anywho…

Here’s is the very first part of this story, that can’t make up its mind on what it wants to be (it’s leaning into romcom territory right now), I’ll post all my submissions soonish (hopefully finished), and I apologize for any formatting defects since I’m posting from my cell phone, otherwise I’ll forget to post it at all.

Sorry this is messy! I love y’all! Stay healthy.

————

“Quiet, you morons!” Bannock… whispers?

Is that the right descriptor for the harsh, low sounds that comes from his mouth? I’m not quite sure, but I look at him sheepishly, since I was the one to trip on air this time around and nearly knock down a clothesline, poles and all.

“S-sorry…” I stutter drunkenly.

Rye shrugs, uncaring. Asshole!

Bannock glares at us with his bloodshot, angry blue eyes before turning around and creeping forward.

It’s a chilly night out, with no stars and just a sliver of moon casting minimal light over us, ideal to maraud and raid… if we lived any place else, that is.

If we were to find ourselves face to face with the flashlight of a Peacekeeper patrolling the streets, things could go anywhere from awkward to deadly, and I really hope we don’t have to find out how it’ll truly go. We’re wasted, outside our house after curfew, and facing our mother’s wrath would probably be as terrible as any punishment the peacekeepers would inflict on us.

The later option has me swallowing thickly.

I’m no coward by any stretch of the word… but I do enjoy being alive, so… yeah.

“Don’t mess around, no more!” Bannock chides.

As soon as Bann turns around, Rye mouths his words back, mockingly, and I wonder— not for the first time— how can my brothers be so immature? Bannock just turned 25, while Rye has the mind of a 13 year old trapped in the muscular body of a 24 year old man; leaving sweet, little me, the 21 year old baby sibling, to bring the rear.

Rye burps, mostly quietly, earning another warning glare from Bann. All things considered, I’m a little impressed at how stealthily we’ve been moving so far, being as enebriated as we are and all. But who knows? Maybe we really aren’t as slick as my alcohol soaked brain thinks we are, and I’m just too skunked to know any better.

“D’you think we’ll be back before father wakes to take care of the ovens?” Rye slurs a little, squinting his eyes at a cat trotting across the alley in front of him. A second later he’s frowning down at the cat, shushing it obnoxiously, as if it’s soft paws are the ones making the stopping sounds coming from his own boots.

Bannock shrugs, “Who cares!”

I’m about to raise my hand and respond that I do, I care, but Rye starts laughing like an idiot, already distracted by something else. We turn to catch him picking up a stick and throwing it at the poor, unsuspecting cat. As soon as the stick hits it’s side, the animal loses its balance, making it fall into a trash can, with a terrified cry.

It’s awful. And loud.

“Knock it off!” Bannock growls as quietly as he can. “You’re gonna wake up the whole town, asshole!”

The cat meows indignantly, climbing out of the trash. He jumps to the other side and it’s gone in the next moment.

I sigh, rubbing one hand over my face. “Guys, I think we should go back. I don’t think Father will approve of this.”

“Shut up, Peeta!”

“Yeah! Shut it, runt!”

I grunt in aggravation under my breath. “I’m serious. We shouldn’t be out here… at all!” I insist.

“Why did you come then?” Bann hisses.

“You dragged me out with you, jackass!” I counter, pointedly. Plus, I’m the least drunk out of the three of us, and I figured I should keep an eye on them two, make sure they don’t get hurt in this idiotic quest… but I don’t say that out aloud. “I still don’t understand why, are we stumbling across town in the middle of the night, risking getting caught outside after curfew.”

“You know why, Peeta! We’ve gone over it to death,” snaps Bann, twisting his whole body to face me and almost walking into a potted plant sitting by somebody’s back door. “Father doesn’t know how to take care of himself, let alone how to defend his honor!”

“Our hands have been forced, runt. We need to pick up the slack, that’s why!”

I roll my eyes at my brothers.

It’s true though. For the last 26 years, our father has been both the butt of every joke said in the streets of district 12, and the victim of a tragic cautionary tale, people somehow feel the sadistic inclination to bring up to us, Mellark boys, as if we needed the reminder.

“Geez… save it for Everdeen, Bann. Let the runt keep his head instead of chewing it off him!”

Bannock frowns. It’s not everyday Rye comes to my defense, which means he really must be hammered.

Cool! I love brotherly affection… even if given under the influence.

“Whatever.” Bannock mutters under his breath. “We’re here anyway.” He signals to the fence dividing our district into two unequal sections: the merchant quarter, where we live, and the Seam (our destination), the largest— yet poorest— side of 12.

It’s unclear why the government erected the fence running right through the district in the first place, but the effect of having a literal barrier separating everyone in our small district, couldn’t be any clearer: we have a huge social divide amongst our people, very distinct and hard to overcome. Both sides distrusting the other, despite there never being a tangible reason why.

Personally, I think the most logical explanation for the creation of the internal fence, was just sheer desire to create hostility and antagonism between the citizens of 12… maybe it’s easier for the Capitol’s long arm to control a podunk place like here, when there’s an unbridgeable social chasm between our own denizens; how can we band together to demand better treatment and fair representation from the mighty Capitol, when we’re fighting with each other?

Of course, I keep my opinion to myself, because speaking of such things is just a sure way to find oneself in prison, facing charges of public agitation and whatnot.

Bann cuts through my musings, “Alright… let’s find a spot to cross over.” He says determined and still very intoxicated.

The worst kept secret in District 12, is how some sections of the fence are too close to the houses in the merchant side. If one really wants to cross into the other side over the fence, one only needs to look for a low wall adjacent to the top links of the fence to climb on, and after that, it’s all a matter of gravity pulling you down. Its been done before too…

Everyone speculates that’s what happened the day our father fell into disgrace: A man from the Seam found a weak spot to exploit… and the rest is history. Never mind the fact that jumping the fence is a common enough hooligan deed; how else can teenage couples reach the Slag Heap at the edge of the old coal mines to engage in their secret affairs?

It only takes us a few minutes to find a brick wall circling the backyard of a random house, just two feet shy of the fence.

We climb it with all the grace of a pig crawling up a greased pole, but after much huffing and puffing, we manage— with great effort— to drag ourselves over the barrier. We’re sweating and swearing, but who could blame us for that? We Mellark boys are just too broad and heavy with muscle, add to the mix the fact that we’ve drank our body weight in white liquor right before Bann had the brilliant idea of dragging us out here, and you have an uncoordinated— mostly clumsy— sad excuse, trio of vandals.

Rye goes first, then I go; finally, Bannock splatters down like a bullfrog, falling on his ass. He’s disgruntled and I suspect in dire need of a nap.

“Come on!” He commands, dusting his behind sloppily.

We’ve been walking aimlessly through unfamiliar dirt roads and dark unpaved alleys. The place is littered with produce crates set upside down in neat circles every other road… I vaguely wonder if that’s what passes as a socializing hot spot here in the Seam, like the square with its concrete benches is for us in town?

Sometimes I forget how things can be so shitty on this side of the District. It makes my stomach twist unpleasantly with guilt, realizing I take certain privileges for granted.

About five minutes into our stupid intrusion into Seam territory, Rye speaks up.

“Dude… do you know where they live?”

Bannock’s head snaps up, clearly annoyed. “How hard can it be to find the Seam’s apothecary?”

Very, actually.

First of all, The Seam consists of row after row of seemingly identical shacks, in varying states of shabbiness, arranged in a huge matrix of sorts. Each row is made of three to five houses with a slim road in between the next set of homes.

For what I gather in my limited liquor-addled brain, each horizontal row has a designated letter, and the vertical street goes by number. Other than that, there are no other distinguishing signs, telling us where we are or how to find the ‘Seam apothecary’ as Bann inarticulately dubbed it.

Rye groans in annoyance, seeming ready to overrule Bannock and call the whole thing off, himself; but my drunk ass is too stupid to keep my big mouth shut.

“They live close to the electric fence. Right before the meadow. They probably have a fence-in yard, too.”

I wince, regretting my words right away. I shouldn’t have said anything, but like an idiot, I couldn’t help spilling out the small bursts of information I’ve gathered over the years on the Everdeens.

I’m ashamed to admit it, but the Everdeens are a bit of an obsession to me… for all of us Mellarks, really. Given our entangled past with them, it shouldn’t be so much of a revelation, but this thing between our families has been a nuisance ever since I can remember and while my brothers and mother use it as a focal point of hatred and animosity. For me, is a curiosity driven thirst for knowledge on everything Everdeen. Anything that could shed light on our sordid past, I would gobble up, trying to answer why something that has virtually nothing to do with me and my brothers, still haunt us everywhere we go.

Rye frowns. “Fence-in yard?” He looks around the houses we are passing, realizing none of those have fences.

“Goat.” Bannock grunts, nodding thoughtfully. “Good catch, runt.”

“Huh?” Rye is scratching his head, confused.

“The blonde girl,” Bann says with mild irritation.

People from the Seam have a very specific look to them: dark— usually straight— hair, gray eyes, olive skin… ‘blonde’, blue eyed and pale, is more of a descriptor for people from the merchant class, like us… like Mrs. Everdeen.

The poor woman must stick out like a sore thumb in here; probably the same goes to her merchant-looking daughter, Primrose.

“What about the blonde?”

“She makes goat cheese.” Bann huffs as explanation, but since Rye still looks like the concept is too hard to fathom, Bannock grunts, expanding. “She trades the cheese in town. Mainly with Father. Which means, Everdeen has to keep at least one goat for the girl to have access to milk.”

“M’kay… goat, fences, meadow.” Rye lists clumsily on his fingers, following after Bann. “Got it!”

We quickened our steps in the direction of the electric fence. I’m still kicking myself for saying anything when we reach the last row of houses before the meadow.

I really hope I’m wrong about them having a goat, although I find it hard to believe Primrose steals milk from other people for her cheeses. She looks so sweet and innocent.

Alas, I’m too clever for my own good sometimes.

The very first house in the row at the edge of the meadow, has a pen connected to the house on the strip of backyard allotted to them. A tiny but sturdy shed stands against the back wall of the house, and if my eyes don’t deceive me, I can barely make out the snout of a goat, peeking out of the narrow opening of the shed.

“This is it!” Rye crows excitedly, rubbing his hands together and licking his chops like a hungry, humanoid wolf.

“Yeah. Finally!” Grunts Bann, “keep your voice down, doofus.” his reaction, both frenzied and anxious.

“Let’s do this!” Rye’s smile is deranged.

“Great!” I hiccup with fake enthusiasm. “What are we doing?” I deadpan, staring at my siblings with all the aggravation I can muster.

My brothers speak excitedly at the same time:

“Taking one of the girls back home with us!”/“Beating the shit out of Everdeen!”

My brothers look at each other, perplexed, and go, “”What?!” At the same time.

“Fuck!” I groan to the skies, noting its near dawn. “You better be joking! We came all the way out here, and you idiots didn’t plan what you were going to do once we arrived?”

“No… I mean, yes! No. it’s simple,” Slurs Rye trying to stare me in the eye and failing miserably, “We’re dragging Everdeen out here. Then, we’ll beat the snot out of the bastard, and have you doodle the whole thing out for Father… you’ll finally use that art talent of yours for something we’ll all enjoy… not just you,”

“No, no, no, no!” Snaps Bannock. “We’re taking one of Everdeen’s daughters, bring her back home with us, and avenge father.”

“What? Why?” Rye whines much too loud and even I shush him. “I thought we were just gonna jump the bastard and rearrange his face a little,” Rye sounds disappointed.

Bannock answers right away, sounding like our mother when she’s chiding us for some thing or another. “Dude… the guy stole Dad’s girl! You know what they say about repaying a slight with the same coin and all that shit. It stands to reason, the course of action here is to take one of the girls home with us, sleep with her, and get her pregnant or something, then she can’t come back to her daddy.”

I throw my hands up in the air, “That’s it! I’m out!” My brain practically short circuits with the outrageous shit my brothers are spewing out of their mouths.

Sure, beating the lights out of an unsuspecting man in front of his house in the middle of the night is already crazy, but Bann’s idea to take a girl away from her home, it’s beyond preposterous!

Instead of lashing out, I turn around and stalk away as fast as my legs can carry me. I’m still tipsy, so I stumble a little, but I’m determined to leave.

“Hey! Where are ya going?!”

I get grabbed by the bíceps and pulled back to ‘hide’ behind a scraggly bush overlooking the house we assume is Everdeen’s. My brothers push me down by the shoulders roughly, until I’m sitting on my ass.

“The hell is wrong with you two?” I snarl, trying to punch and kick either one of them.

“Shut up, runt! They’re gonna hear you!”

“Good! Then someone will call the Peacekeepers over.”

“Wha— No! Why would you want that?” Rye whines.

“I didn’t sign up for any of this crazy shit!” I spit enraged.

“Dude, you can’t bail on operation BREAD,” Rye scrunches up his face.

“Operation Bread? What in the hell, is operation Bread?” I wrench my arms free from them at last, glowering up at both.

“Bring Revenge on Everdeen to Avenge Dad!” Rye says proudly, a lopsided smile brightens his face, and all I want to do is punch his nose.

“You’re insane!” I sputter.

“No… I’m cle-ver!” Rye grins, tapping a finger to his temple.

“Come on, Peeta. You know this needs to be done!” Bann cuts in.

“No! It doesn’t!” I argue. I still feel woozy from alcohol though, so it’s costing me too much effort trying to get up. “This is just insane, Bannock! What you’re proposing is just… heinous!” I hiss.

Bannock’s face hardens, “Nobody will see it like that.” He assures, “An eye for an eye, baby brother.”

“So what? We’re gonna kidnap and rape an innocent girl in revenge, and you think that’ll fix anything? Will it bring peace? It’ll help you get Madelynn’s parents to back off and let her marry you?” I’m so pissed off, I’m pretty sure spittle is flying out of my mouth. “It won’t do anyone any good! Not us, nor father, and especially not Katniss or Primrose!”

“Shut the fuck up!” Bannock flies at me, and all I have to do is lift my arms to shield my head.

Rye is an equal opportunity asshole most of the time, but in this moment, he’s the one stopping Bannock from breaking my face in two, and I’m very grateful for my middle brother manhandling our eldest for me.

“Rape is a strong word, runt.” Rye gasps with the effort of keeping Bannock from kicking my ass. But if the wrinkling of his nose is any indication, I think maybe my words are chipping away some of his complicitness in this mess. “Maybe, what Bann meant, was, one of us will… you know… spend time with the girl, and then… make her his common law wife or something?” Rye looks at Bann expectantly.

Bannock nods. Rye lets go of him.

We all stay silent, breathing heavily for a moment.

“Same coin. Simple as that.”

If the stories are to be believed, Sorrel Everdeen crossed the fence dividing the merchant quarter and the seam, kidnapped my father’s betrothed— Lily— and made her his common law wife, despite being common knowledge, that the woman in question was engaged to our father since they were very young.

It’s an old rumor, really, with no real way to fact-check the events that led to this moment in time, but there’s always been some nasty whispering churning around town; tales varying in height and perjury, sometimes scandalous, others depraved, always with add-ons and full of conjectures flavored by the speaker in turn, but never the whole truth.

The worst thing is that the stories die down for a while when something juicer comes up, but then resurface, like a persistent oily stain on cement… It’s been 26 years since the real events leading to the Everdeens controversial marriage took place, yet the old gossip mill in District 12 has waxed over and rewritten the sordid story through the lense of judgemental people over and over again, until even our mother has started to repeat the outlandish tales, as if she wasn’t an active participant of the story herself.

Still… “I just can’t!” I say both exasperated and grossed out. “We should just go home—“

I get cut off when the door of the Everdeen house opens spilling faint candlelight into the almost blackened-out street.

My brothers rush to huddle around me, crowding on top of me like a pair of boulders… or worse: a pair of sweaty, heavy, alcohol doused men. Disgusting!

The door of the shack closes softly and to our shock, a very angry looking Katniss Everdeen stomps in the direction of the sad excuse for a bush we’re hiding in.

“Hmm… guys… I think she sees us.” I mumble calmly, yet terrified. Katniss Everdeen, eldest daughter of Sorrel and Lily, is coming our way with fire in her eyes.

TBC on AO3…

[geralehane]

Day 4: Let It Snow

(where clexa are snowed in and neither is too pleased about that but then they bang)

December 21st, 7:28 p.m.

It’s been snowing for two days straight. Today’s the third, and so far there’s no sign of stopping. Clarke doesn’t really mind. Sure, she’s not a fan of snow and cold, but that’s exactly why she’s hiding inside, with a warm blanket and hot cocoa and countless tv shows to keep her company.

And, of course, Lexa, who’s trapped with her and who honestly could’ve left the first night but chose to stay. Clarke can’t say she’s unhappy about it. Quite the opposite.

Strong arms snake around her waist from behind, and Clarke smiles when she feels Lexa nuzzle her neck. “Morning.”

“I think you mean evening. We slept all day. It’s already dark outside.”

“As long as I’m with you,” Lexa murmurs into her hair, “I don’t care.”

Her reply is a slow, lazy kiss.

December 19th, 4:13 p.m.

“Well, it’s official,” Clarke announces, not looking up from her phone. “The city is closed down. Pretty sure power’s about to go out soon, too.”

“Great,” Lexa mumbles, running a hand through her hair. “Just what I needed today.”

This time, Clarke does look up from her phone to squint at her. “Is the idea of spending time with me that horrible to you, Lexa?” She’s not going to lie. It stings. It really fucking hurts, truth be told. And, okay, maybe it is kind of her own fault, but that doesn’t mean she has to like it.

Lexa sighs - and the way she does, tired and weary, only serves to agitate Clarke further. “You know that’s not what I meant, Clarke. I have things to do. I planned to be home by six. Obviously, that’s not happening now. And…” She takes a deep breath, and Clarke has a heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach. She’s pretty sure she’s not gonna like whatever it is Lexa’s about to say. “It’s not that terrible - spending time with you. But - I believe I would be speaking for both of us when I say it is uncomfortable given our history.”

Clarke flushes angrily before stomping on it, swallowing the truth down like a bitter pill that it is. Lexa’s right. It is uncomfortable. But it seems they have different reasons.

It’s difficult for Lexa because Clarke’s hurt her. It’s difficult for Clarke because she wants her. Story that’s been told countless times over and over; and Clarke can’t believe she’s one of those stories now.

A love loved and a love lost. How tragic and entirely cliche.

She swallows. “I thought we agreed to stay friends.”

Lexa’s emerald eyes are dark and unreadable. “We did,” she quietly says. “But back then I didn’t count on being - um. I wasn’t ready for spending so much time with you in such close quarters.”

“You mean you didn’t know you were going to be stuck with me,” Clarke says.

Lexa stays silent, and it makes everything worse.

December 21st, 8:13 p.m.

“You totally cheated!”

“What? No I didn’t!”

Lexa huffs, and Clarke really wants to kiss her. “We already dealt ace of hearts. There’s no way it was in the deck. You took it from the other pile.”

Clarke really wants to kiss her, and so she does. Lexa’s lips are warm and eager on her own, and when she breaks the kiss, leaning back, Lexa stays there, eyes still closed, a small smile on her face. “Okay,” she says quietly. “Now you’re really cheating.”

She chuckles. “So what if I am?”

This time, it’s Lexa who leans in and gives her a gentle kiss, making her melt.

December 19th, 6:39 p.m.

“Costia must be worried sick,” Clarke comments out of blue, taking another sip of her wine. She wonders if that second glass prompted her to speak up. She wonders if she wants to hear what Lexa has to say about her surprising choice of topic of conversation.

Lexa clears her throat and doesn’t look at Clarke when she answers. “I doubt it,” she says. “We haven’t spoken in months.”

Clarke is really proud of herself when she manages not to drop the glass when her heart leaps into her throat. Come on, she scolds herself. Really? Lexa went through a break-up and you’re happy? Some friend you are.

But that’s the thing, she replies stubbornly to herself. I don’t want to be her friend. It’s not enough.

It’s never going to be enough.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” she says out loud. “I mean - are you okay?”

She watches Lexa shrug and stare ahead. “I think so.” She looks down at her glass of wine, still untouched. “It was - we disagreed on some things, and she left. She did let me know she found a place to stay and her brother came by to get her stuff two weeks ago so I know she’s alive and well. It is weird without her there, but… I’m okay. I think.” Lexa’s words are as jumbled as Clarke’s feelings.

It’s still snowing outside, and Clarke swallows as she discreetly studies Lexa’s profile, illuminated by candlelight, the lines of her face sharp and gorgeous. “And what things did you disagree on?” She asks, surprised at how dry her throat has become.

Lexa smirks, bitter and humorless. “Some things,” she repeats herself. “Mostly my feelings.” She doesn’t clarify further, but Clarke doesn’t need her to.

Their gazes meet, and the unspoken ‘for you’ hangs heavily in the air between them, ready to fall and shatter.  

December 21st, 9:35 p.m.

“Fuck,” Clarke pants. Her heart is fluttering madly in her chest, and she revels in that feeling. Revels in feeling Lexa’s naked skin slide against her own, slick with sweat. Basks in Lexa’s confident smirk that borders on arrogant. It used to infuriate her. Now, she finds it endearing.

She finds it endlessly sexy.

“I take it you liked it,” Lexa teases, leaning down to press a quick kiss to Clarke’s lips and let her taste herself, heady and tangy with lust. She laps it all off Lexa’s mouth, eager and greedy for more.  

“You don’t have to be an ass about it,” she laughs when Lexa gently breaks the kiss. “Of course I liked it. I loved it.”

Lexa’s green eyes are soft and smiling. “I love you.”

“Sap.” Another kiss, barely there, tender and light. “I love you, too.”

December 19th, 8:00 p.m.

“I never once said I didn’t have feelings for you,” Clarke fires back, feeling the familiar burn of anger course through her veins. Lexa doesn’t look like she’s feeling any better. Her cheeks are flushed, whether from anger or alcohol, Clarke’s not sure; and her eyes are narrowed and focused.

“Yes,” she mockingly agrees with Clarke, her glare steady. “And you never once said you did have them, either.”

“That’s not true,” Clarke says, knowing perfectly well just how true it is. But - she was so many things back then. Fresh out of a year-long relationship, scared, unsure if she was ready. Insecure and terrified and - was it Lexa she liked, or was it the idea of Lexa?

It was Lexa. Of course it was Lexa, but she was too busy with all the shit that was happening in her life to really see that, and when she did, it was too late.

Except - Lexa never gave her a second chance, did she? “You never gave me a second chance,” Clarke voices her hurt out loud.

Okay, maybe saying that wasn’t a wise decision on her part. Seems like she’s all out of those lately.

She can almost feel how hot Lexa’s glare is on her skin. “I never gave you a second chance,” Lexa repeats lowly. Clarke cringes. She hates when Lexa gets like this. Her quiet, cold rage is so much more terrifying than any screaming. “You said you weren’t ready, and I respected your wishes for months. You weren’t ready alright. For me. You were very ready for Finn, were you not?”

Ah, and so they’ve arrived to the worst mistake of her life. She sincerely hopes that’s the last one she makes. At least with Lexa.

She can’t hurt her like this ever again. “It didn’t mean anything,” she whispers. “Lexa, I swear, it didn’t mean anything.”

Lexa’s eyes shine, and for the first time since that awful, horrible night, Clarke is allowed to see the hurt dulling the emerald green again. “Did I ever mean anything?”

“I’m so sorry,” Clarke chokes through her unshed tears, “I’m so sorry you even have to ask that.”

“Well,” Lexa swallows. “I do.”

December 21st, 11:25 p.m.

Lexa’s abs quiver under Clarke’s wet, slow kisses as she climbs back up to drop her final kiss on plump lips, happily sighing into them.

“That was amazing,” Lexa whispers to her when they part. “Thank you.”

“Lexa,” she laughs, plopping down next to her and sighing again when Lexa gathers her in her arms. “You don’t have to thank me every time I go down on you. Just putting it out there.”

“Ah, yes, you did put out quite a lot today.” Lexa laughs when Clarke slaps her shoulder. “I’m sorry! You walked right into that one, you have to admit.”

“Whatever,” Clarke huffs. “Kiss me.”

Lexa does. “Just so you know,” she whispers. “I don’t mind you putting out. Quite the opposite, actually.”

“You’re an ass.”

“Yes, but a great one.”

Clarke squeezes said ass when Lexa rolls them over, situating herself between Clarke’s legs, her gaze alight with purpose. “I hate that I can’t disagree with you on that one.”

“You love it.”

“I love you.”

December 19th, 8:32 p.m.

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” Lexa rasps, and Clarke immediately stops kissing her neck, only for Lexa to grab the back of her neck and press a demanding kiss against her mouth. “That doesn’t mean I want to stop,” she points out.

Clarke shakes her head, trying to clear it of Lexa-induced haze. “Maybe we should,” she says, as weak as her knees. “Maybe we should talk first.”

“We talked plenty,” Lexa disagrees before lapping at Clarke’s mouth, seeking entrance that Clarke immediately grants, moaning at the feel of Lexa’s tongue against hers, wet and hot. God, she’s been waiting for it for so long. Hell, she’s been dreaming about it practically every night, longing for Lexa’s touch. But not quite like this. Not when she’s still mad at her.

“Lexa,” she breathes. “We should talk. Please.”

Her heart squeezes in her chest, sharp and painful, when Lexa blinks at her. “Is there anything to talk about?”

She hates this emotional rollercoaster. Her tears taste of salt when she swallows them down. “Yes. Of course there is something to talk about. Us. My feelings for you.”

“Oh.” Lexa's expression grows unreadable once again. “I guess I misread this.” It's not like Clarke can blame her, really. One second they are yelling at each other, another they are tearing each other’s clothes off. Easy to become confused. Except Lexa wasn't confused. She was pretty happy shoving her tongue down Clarke's throat just a second ago without thinking of any complications.

Clarke's so intent on discussing her feelings for Lexa - but what about Lexa's feelings for her? Or, perhaps, lack thereof?

Because maybe that's all it is. One first and last taste of what's it like to be with Clarke before Lexa finally and truly moves on.

Her tears are hot and unwelcome on her cheeks, and she can't control them.

December 22nd, 01.30 a.m.

“Snow’s stopped,” Clarke mumbles sleepily into Lexa's shoulder, tightening her arm around her waist. Her reply is Lexa's soft snores, and she grins, nuzzling at the naked skin of Lexa's back. She wouldn't have pegged Lexa for little spoon, but she's made a lot of surprising discoveries during the last two days. For starters, Lexa is a cuddler. She's also a talker, and things she says in bed… Clarke feels herself clench when she recalls some of the filthy words Lexa's whispered to her while buried deep inside her cunt.

Lexa's a generous, sweet lover. She also can be rough when Clarke needs her to be. She can be anything Clarke needs; but she really only needs her to be hers. And she needs to be Lexa's, too.

Lexa mumbles something and rolls over, nearly squishing Clarke in the process. She scoots away just in time to see green eyes slowly flutter open, confused and disoriented at first, sleep not quite gone from them yet.

“Clarke.”

She smiles. “Go back to sleep, baby.”

“I don't wanna,” Lexa slurs, reaching for her and tugging her closer. Her embrace is warm and tender and it's so perfect Clarke wants to laugh and cry and yell from the rooftops just how much she loves this woman.

She settles for a smile and a deep kiss for now. “Let's go back to sleep together, then.”

Lexa's smile is shy and sweet. Clarke kisses it off her face, wanting to keep it to herself forever, drink it all in until it's all she knows. “Okay,” she whispers. “Good night, Clarke.”

Clarke whispers her love in Lexa's neck as she drifts off to sleep in her arms.

December 19th, 8:40 p.m.

“I never fell out of love with you, Clarke.” Lexa's words are strong and sure despite her voice being quiet and soft, but to Clarke, it blooms in her living room, reverberates through her chest and settles in her heart, vibrant and full of hope. “I tried. Trust me. Nothing worked.”

“I was so stupid,” Clarke whispers, cradling Lexa's warm hands in her own, cold and trembling. “I was an idiot. I wasn't ready for anything serious and I knew that you… You weren't going to be something casual. You could never be something casual to me.” When she looks at Lexa - this is exactly what falling in love feels like. Only with her, it’s infinite. She keeps falling deeper and deeper and she doubts it will ever end.

She doesn't want it to.

“Weren't?” Lexa, ever the shrewd one.

“Aren't. You aren't something casual to me.” Clarke swallows, her throat dry. “I -”

“You don't have to say it just because I did,” Lexa interrupts.

“That's not why,” she reassures her, squeezing her hand. “But this - this is part of the reason I love you. You constantly take care of me, even when that means you'll have to disregard your own feelings.”

Lexa's eyes are wide and shocked and confused and Clarke really wants to kiss her. “You love me?”

“That's what this entire conversation has been leading up to, and you're still surprised?”

December 22nd, 07.04 a.m.

“This is way too early to be conscious,” Clarke grumbles. She still accepts the steaming mug of hot cocoa. It's Lexa's secret recipe and it's as delicious as Lexa herself, so there's no way Clarke would ever turn it down. Even if it means sacrificing her precious sleep.

“Come on, grumpy cat,” Lexa chides gently, hugging her close and draping a blanket over her shoulders so that they are sharing it. “I want to watch the sunrise with you.”

“Romantic, but you don't have to woo me, Lexa. I'm already yours.”

“What are you talking about? I'll never stop wooing you.”

Clarke groans.” Oh no. Does that mean we’ll have to get up this early every time I have sex with you?”

Lexa tries to pretend to pout, but her giant smile doesn't let her. “I'll look into wooing methods that don’t require being up before noon,” she promises laughingly, pressing a tender kiss to Clarke's temple and making her let out a contented sigh.

“You do that.” She distances herself slightly so she can look her in the eye, growing serious. “I meant what I said, you know. I'm yours.”

Lexa's smile is soft, if a little stunned, still slightly disbelieving at having Clarke say it so freely and readily. “And I'm yours too.”

“Good.” She cuddles up close to Lexa again, careful not to spill her cocoa. “Also, you owe me at least three orgasms for waking me up before lunch.”

She hears Lexa's smile in her voice when she replies. “Noted.”

December 19th, 10:41 p.m.

“I get it,” Lexa speaks up suddenly, rousing Clarke from her light slumber. “I think. It doesn't hurt any less, but I get why you slept with him.”

Clarke cringes inwardly. God, if she could go back… “I don't think I get why I slept with him,” she says honestly. “I was drunk, he was there. Story, end of.” She sighs, turning in Lexa's arms to face her. Slowly runs her fingers down her cheeks, to the strong line of her jaw. Stops at the unbuttoned collar of her shirt.

“Did it make you feel better?”

“It was supposed to.” She lets out a heavy breath. “But it didn't. You know it didn't.”

“Because I walked in,” Lexa clarifies pointedly. Clarke shakes her head.

“Not only that, although that was the worst part.” She'll never forget the look on Lexa's face. She deserves to remember it.

“You didn't owe me anything,” Lexa says quietly. “You still don't. I guess what I'm trying to say is… I'm sorry for reacting the way I did. Shutting you out and making you feel guilty for something you shouldn't have felt guilty about. It's not like you cheated.”

“It felt like it.”

“Yeah.” Lexa's eyes are sad, and Clarke hates that she doesn't know how to fix it. “It did. But it's not fair to you. So I'm sorry.”

“I hurt you. I'm the one who's sorry.”

Lexa's hands are heated on Clarke's skin as she slides them over her bare arms, down to her sides, tentatively plays with the hem of her shirt. “How about we stop being sorry tonight? This one night.”

Clarke's heart is lodged in her throat. “Only this one night?”

Lexa reads right through her, and her gaze grows warm. “One night with you will never be enough for me,” she says earnestly.

“Are you sure about this?”

Full lips quirk in a small smile. “It's been more than half a year,” she says. “I've been sure for a long time. Unless - if you're not-”

Clarke cuts her off with a tentative kiss.

December 22, 10:34 a.m.

“Will you be my girlfriend?” The question is asked nonchalantly while Chandler and Joey hug on Clarke's screen, and it's so unexpected she almost chokes on her popcorn.

“Um,” she clears her throat. “I thought - wasn't that implied?”

Lexa looks at her like she's grown another head. “Well, yeah, but I wanted to make it official.”

Clarke squints suspiciously. “Official. You're not planning on proposing tomorrow, are you?”

“Would you say no?”

She blinks. “You know,” she starts slowly. “It might be those five orgasms talking, but I'm not sure I would.”

“Cute.” Lexa's kiss is quick and familiar. “It was six, though.”

Clarke frowns, trying to remember. “I meant this morning. Pretty sure it was five.”

“Oh,” Lexa drawls, and her smile is bad in the best way. “Well, technically, it's still morning. So, technically, I can still prove you wrong.”

Clarke's laugh is loud and full when Lexa playfully tackles her on the couch, peppering kisses all over her face and neck.

And yes, it might be way too early and it might be a terrible idea, but right now, with Lexa murmuring her love and gently claiming her all over again, she can't imagine herself ever saying no if she saw Lexa on one knee, be it tomorrow or in a year.  

[stevelovesbarnes-blog]

Layers of Fear ↔Crowley x Reader↔

Summary: Based on the Psychedelic horror game ‘Layers of Fear’. Rowena narrates the story of her son Fergus and his wife Y/N to the Winchester Brothers when he yet hadn’t sold his soul and eventually became the king of hell. She highlights the day of her death and what followed after Fergus had lost the love of his life and left behind their little son, Gavin, driving him to insanity, depression and a dellusional alcoholic addiction.

Warnings: Angst, Major Character death, Mentions of Alcohol Addiction and Depression, Blood

Taking a sip of her hot beverage, Rowena sat at one of the century old armchairs in the now Winchester household, the Men of Letters Bunker. Humming, the powerful redheaded witch admired the atmosphere in the library, reminiscing the old times, almost 500 hundred years earlier. It was only when the youngest of the brothers occupied the sit accross from her and cleared his throat, taking her back to reality.

“What are you thinking about?” Sam questioned Rowena as she smirked, not realizing Dean Winchester had also joined the duo in the room with an ice cold beer in hand, sitting right next to his little brother he loved dearly.

“Probably about how she can live a hundred or more years in addition. What now? Drink goat’s blood Martinis?” Dean joked, chuckling to himself. Rowena ignored his remark and rolled her eyes.

“Nothing. Just thinking about the old days.” She replied to Sam’s question with her beautiful accent that never failed to impress when she met new faces. He nodded, thinking a bit before moving to a second question.

“H-How was Crowley before he became a demon? And with whom did he have Gavin with?” Rowena almost spit the cinnamon biscuit she was chewing. She tensed up and with wide eyes she stared into Sam’s hazel orbs before relaxing.

“And why would you like to know, Sammy dearest?”

“Moments before the angels fell we held Crowley captive in a barn and he said some…Sensitive things. About how he deserved to be loved and that there was only one person in the world that completely understood and loved him and that she was taken away by our god. He also mentioned that he hated everything.” Sam hesitated but admitted, at least.

“Typical.” Dean groaned and downed the golden liquid in the glass bottle that rested at the wooden table.

“Then, why don’t you ask him?”

“He won’t open up”

“Hmmm…I’ll tell you” She smiled and wiggled in her seat, trying to find a comfortable position. “Get comfy gentlemen, it’s gonna be a long talk.” She cleared her throat and begun analyzing her son’s story. “So, a while back…”

“Mother there is no way this looks good” The young woman spoke as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. Apparently, her aunt’s birthday present was oversized for her body, making it impossible for it to stay in place and look classy or comfortable for the girl to wear.

“Aunt Gertrude must have thought you needed the bigger size”

“Aunt Gertrude can go and..”

“Easy there. What did I tell you? We do not swear for the sake of this family. Honey what will the people think if they hear you, a person of the high class talking like that?” Her mother asked.

Scoffing, Y/N ignored her mother’s lecture and brought up the problem she had with her dress. “Do you maybe know any tailor that can fix it?”

“Of course. There is a new shop downtown. Minka and Vallerie told me that he did a good work on their wedding dresses.” She listened carefully. “William will get you there with his carriage.“

“No, no. I would rather walk”

And so she did. With a smile she faced the world. She found many friends on her way to the tailor. If you could call them friends of course. Maybe they were just acquaintances. Or maybe she was the victim of their lies and their snarky remarks.

Finally she reached her destination. Her face fell when she came across the ‘close’ sign on the glass door. Though she could still make the figure of a man through the window. So she knocked.

“Hello” She spoke in a small voice. Even though her rich and aristocratic inheritance, the almost 25 year old woman could not help but feel shy most of the time. She was surely a kind girl. “I’m sorry if I’m bothering sir.”

“No, it is alright. Come in. My name is Fergus Macleod and you must be?”

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N. Pleasure to meet you sir.” He was awestruck by her beauty and kindness. In his eyes, he had never seen such a beautiful person before him.

“From the Y/L/N family? What can I do for you M'Lady?”

“My aunt is a b- Sorry, I mean, she wanted to buy me a dress and got the wrong size so, is there anything you can do to help me? “ He nodded and gently smiled at the young woman .

“Sounds like a bitch” He winked and she chuckled. “I will make it perfect for the perfect girl”

Something about Fergus lit a spark inside her. He was something different than the oh so classy fake men she met. He was kind and funny to her. He made up for every friend she never had and soon, she found herself visiting his little shop more and more often.

“My son fell in love and it ruined him. It was worth it. She was the only good thing that has happened in his doomed life.” Said Rowena.

“No way! Crowley actually fell in love! What happened then, mommy and daddy wouldn’t let their little girl get married to the poor tailor? Aw poor Ferg-”

“Dean! Shut up!” Sam scowled his older brother. “Rowena, go on”

“Not quite. They were pretty fond of my son and maybe a year after they had met, they got married. I’ve never seen someone love so much as Crowley did Y/N and vice versa.” Dean and Sam were shocked to learn that centuries ago, Crowley, the man that almost killed and tortured thousand souls without any mercy was head over heels for someone. Dean was intrigued but Sam already knew it would end in a tragedy. They couldn’t imagine how much pain Y/N’s death costed to Crowley.

Y/N and Fergus had a big wedding and her parents gave the couple as a present a huge mansion over the hills they could use as a home. Fergus at first insisted that they didn’t need to spend that much money and that he would be okay, even with a small cabin as soon as he was with the love of his life but Mr and Mrs Y/L/N wouldn’t have any of that.

So they moved in and had a fresh start. Their love for each other only grew with them and it gave them a son they both adored so much. Little Gavin Macleod.

Nothing lasts forever.

“Daddy where is Mommy?” A three year old Gavin asked Fergus as he sat in his lap in the couch of the one of the many luxurious living rooms in the mansion.

“Mommy is out getting you treats for being such a good boy” The little boy cheered and Fergus’ heart swelled. He had everything he needed. A family. “It is late, little man. Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“I wanna wait for mommy. She is gonna be home soon, right daddy?”

“Course she will. She’s been really stressed lately so why don’t you go ahead and sleep on your time? She’s gonna be so proud of her responsible little man” The little boy nodded and kissed his father’s cheek before hurrying to find his bedroom excitingly.

No more than an hour later, Y/N joined him in the living room carrying heavy bags. He rushed to her and helped her, kissing her cheek in the process.

“Gavin is a big boy, my love. He went to sleep early tonight with his own accord” He told her, chuckling to himself and winking to his wife. It was then when he started to notice that something had changed. The poor woman looked like she had seen a ghost. He ran to catch her as he realized she was about to fall. “Hey, hey, you’re okay, I’ve got you,okay? I’m gonna get you to our room.” He whispered to her ear before picking her up bridal style and carrying her up the never ending stairway.

“I don’t feel good, baby, not at all. It hurts so much.” She tried to say as her breathing unevened and cold sweat covered her sweet face.

“You’re gonna be okay, my darling, you are gonna be fine. Where does it hurt?” She closed her eyes and tried to focus on eliminating the pain, even though she had no success.

“E-everywhere, baby. It’s s-so cold and I’m in so much pain i-I just want it to stop please m-make it stop” A tear escaped his eye as he watched the woman he loved with all his heart hurt. He couldn’t do anything.

“I-I’m sorry Y/N, I can’t. I promise it’ll go away. I promise”

“I love you so much” she said. “You and Gavin. So so so much” She sobbed. He never got to say it back. The last thing he heard her say was his name. It was the most painful sound he ever heard. It came out as a choked sob. Nothing in the world compared to the pain he felt the very moment he felt her last breath against his lips.

“Fergus changed his name to Crowley. He despised that her last words came out so painful.“ Rowena sighed and the boys stared at her in shock. They could have never guessed the true, tragic story of the deadly King of Hell they met years ago.

“Wow…” There was a pause in the room. Sam and Dean were taken aback by the shocking story they were just learning about. They felt a sudden pity for Crowley. Of course, that wasn’t a reason to kill millions of people and corrupt thousand homes throughout the years that he held his title.“Did he sell his soul to bring her back?”

Rowena shook her head in order to show her negativity. “My son is crazy. He knew that it would just offer him 10 years of life and those weren’t enough to spend with her and maybe after his death, he dreaded the thought that Y/N would be able to find someone better than him and forget him. He needed her all by himself. He was hers and she was his.. He is hers and she is his.“

After his beautiful Y/N’s death Fergus fell victim to the world of alcoholism and depression. He never got out of their shared room for months. The only reason for him to exit his room or the house was in order to buy more liquor. He completely forgot about his son who was asking for his mama all the time. He did not take care of him after what happened. He had been a father to him, now he was nothing. So Gavin learned to take care of himself. He learned to make simple meals alone, wash his clothes by hand and clean his room. Y/N wouldn’t be proud though. That was not a way for a child to grow up. Sure thing, she would be happy that her son is a responsible little man. Nevertheless she would absolutely hate the distance between her beloved son and husband.

Sometimes the Macleod household would receive letters by many friends and relatives sending their sympathy. He didn’t need their sympathy. He needed her, and pieces of paper with meaningless words wouldn’t bring her back.

The house was even worse. It was a mess. Scattered empty bottles of whiskey and wine were everywhere littering the what it used to be a welcoming house, broken furniture were everywhere and some paintings had fallen from the wall to the floor.

Crowley had melancholic illusions cause by his alcohol addiction and they mostly involved Y/N. Sometimes he would see her being there next to him, humming an unknown anthem and other times he would see her dead body looking broken and fragile crying and spasming in the distance. It was a scary sight. It broke his heart.

“Does he still think about her? Why hasn’t he brought her back?” Rowena shrugged her shoulders. Only if she knew the answer… Deep in her cold heart she believed that he thought of Y/N every passing day.

“I do” A voice echoed through the walls of the bunker. “I do think about her every day of this damn life. I still have visions of her.” Crowley announced catching everyone off guard. “Mother, I see you haven’t revealed all of my personal life to Animal Kingdom. Wanna say more?” He said sarcastically.

“I’m sorry” Sam attempted to comfort the King but he only received a death glare.

“Sorry isn’t going to bring her back”

And then, he vanished.

A month later

“Moose. Not Moose. Meet my beautiful queen Y/N Y/L/N. I believe you’ve already heard of her” Crowley admitted proudly, wrapping an arm around the woman dressed in obviously expensive clothing as she smiled brightly. The Winchesters just shared a confused look.

Cause they saw noone but the King standing in front of them, all alone.

[formulatrash]

Bit late for International Women’s Day but nevermind: a non-comprehensive primer of women in motorsport you should stan for

Lella Lombardi (on the right) being a stone cold badass as per. She is the only woman to have ever scored points (well, half a point) in a Formula 1 race. So far. I believe in you, Tatiana.

Motorsport is, regrettably, a boys’ club all too frequently. And it’s not “getting better” - there are fewer female F1 drivers now than in the 70s so don’t give me that shit but there are also loads of amazing women driving very fast and you should be into that.

Like, seriously, we should be into this. It’s easy to be into the men cus there’s loads of them but if you do nothing else off the back of this, please pick a lady and REP HARD for her. Consciously become a fan, get interested - female racers struggle to attract sponsorship and attention, for all the reasons that make motorsport (and indeed, the world) awful - and well, we’re all social media fiends here, we can very literally help change that.

Also they awesome and you should just get into following them. This list is so incredibly non-comprehensive because it’s just the people I like and know about, so please please make your own or add to it or whatever - I just didn’t want to let today go without posting something like this.

In no order whatsoever:

Jamie Chadwick:

Jamie has just signed to race in British F3 this year, the kind of thing 18 year olds do. Unusually, however, she spent the previous year becoming the first female and youngest ever champion of British GT - she is seriously fast and very talented and I really hope Aston Martin get her in their LMGT programme soon. (She raced for them in British GT)

Emma Kimilainen

It’s slightly tempting to make this list all youngsters but there are loads of women with established driver careers, so here’s a Very Fast Mum - Emma has done a lot of various GT championships but the one she’s in now is the one I’m most excited by, which is the new Electric GT series. As we all know, I love squeaky brum brums and I am generally super excited for the series and very, very happy Emma will be part of it.

Christina Nielsen

12 Hours Of Sebring winner and general endurance GT badass Christina is one of my favourite ladies in racing and also really funny on social media. She drives in Ferrari Scuderia Corsa, which is difficult for me as it means I have to like a Ferrari team but I hear they are the good bit.

Alice Powell

I just love the pink bits on this car sorry not sorry.

Alice has done British F4 and F3 and is now in Electric GT. Can we talk about how electric series are way better at getting women in and what a sorry statement that makes about petrolhead testosterone? Oof. Anyway, Alice is awesome - part of her job is kicking the Renault F1 drivers into shape because she is a protein-shake-guzzling gym dweller and more power to her.

Also, Alice was the first woman to win a Formula Renault championship and score points in GP3. The next woman to score points in GP3 is obviously featured shortly.

Katarina Kyvalova

She speaks 6 languages and appears to be a genius and is probably at least my age but can make photos like this look cool 👌🏽

Katarina races with the Bentley Belles, who are an all-female team - although she’s raced all over the place and I’m particularly into her rallying - who race, like, properly old Bentleys. I am pretty sure I would not be able to drive to the shops in a classic Bentley (they’re big, heavy, unwieldy) and not just because I’m an idiot, so this seems particularly knockout.

HERE FOLLOWS A SELECTION OF LADIES IN GERMAN FORMULA 4:

Michelle Halder:

Sophia Floersch

You turn a car pink, I will get excited about it. (Relatedly, same sponsor as might turn Force India’s car pink)

Carrie Schreiner

Oh god I love Carrie so much??? I seem to be a bit of a stan for GT drivers in particular but hey this is not new information. As well as having hair that any given member of Little Mix would envy (and so would I) Carrie is properly really fast and the kind of aggressive racer I always go hard for. She’s been in Formula 4 (indeed, the aforementioned ADAC F4) for a bit and did Lambourghini Super GT Middle East & Asia this year and like... what if... what if I really want to go to Dubai to see her race in it? Perhaps? Am I... potentially... in love with Carrie Schreiner??? This seems likely.

Katherine Legge

One of my main girls here, not gonna lie. Katherine has done lots of things, including DTM and Indycar and the Indycar is probably actually the more significant BUT also she was in the first two races of my very own beloved squeaky brum brums and I still weep for the injustice of her being dropped. Now she does the sort of endurance bonkersness that goes down in GT cars in the US.

(BRING BACK KATHERINE LEGGE aaaaaargh, sob)

Which brings me to

Simona de Silvestro

I stan so hard for Simona de Silvestro that I am kind of surprised I haven’t booked a plane and started a new life stalking her round Australia in Supercars. Ilu, Simona. Former Sauber development driver, Simona competed in Formula E’s first two seasons with Amlin Aguri/Andretti and this made me so happy I would probably let her burn my house down and remain a fan. I hope she fucking bosses supercars.

Louise Cook

I love rally drivers, I love British drivers, I mega love Louise Cook. She’s a very good example of why it’s important, massively important, to support female drivers - despite podium successes she had to sell her trophies in order to fund her last season. :( BUT she persevered and she’s lovely and very good at rallying and I would lovely nothing more than to see her repeat Michele Mouton’s contesting the WRC in the 1970s. Relatedly, here’s a gratuitous picture of Michele Mouton looking hella cool:

Hella cool.

Catie Munnings

Catie is only 19 and she’s already a European champion, what a boss. I think (although it is slightly unclear) she’s now Red Bull backed, as well as Peugeot so looks to be in with a strong shout of getting in the World Rally Championship extremely soon.

Esmee Hawkey

Esmee is another GT racing Brit and part of the Porsche programme, which is awesome. I’m totally going to have to watch loads of GT racing this year, oh no, what a problem I will be so upset.

Sara Williams

I nearly didn’t include Sara as things have kind of stalled for her a bit, sadly but fuck it I’ve been fond of her for ages and she’s still going.

Tatiana Calderon

If you don’t know about Tati what are you doing here. GP3 points-scoring queen and Sauber F1 development driver, Tatiana is an absolute boss. The only woman actively racing in the top flights of single seaters (sob, come back Simona) she’s an excellent, incredibly skillful and seriously hardworking racer. If anyone can break the 25-year stint since a woman raced in F1 then I very honestly reckon she can. Go Tati (also her teammates clearly like and respect her enormously, which is a bit of a daft note but something it’s potentially and tragically difficult to get, in a boys’ paddock.

ANYHOO those are but a very few of my faves, I might do some more shortly but this post was way out of control already.

Here’s Maria Teresa de Filippis, F1 driver in the 1950s, being an absolute badass:

Go fast, ladies.