#the way I’ve STRUGGLED to answer the stuff sent in my inbox oh my GOD

[bucketfan427]

Hello. My friend File_unknown24 stopped by here on their tour, so I have come on an expedition of my own.

My revenge au narrator, N, is what I believe to be the first narrator in the paraverse to be a girl in her teens. recently I've been wondering how other people's narrators would react to her, so I've been going around and asking different blogs.

So, if your narrator was at a gathering with a bunch of other narrators when they just suddenly came across this teen girl sipping whisky in the corner and giving anyone who comes near her dirty looks, how would they react?

Hello hello!! Thank you for the ask!

Honestly, I’m not sure- I think he would at first be quite surprised by this, but would quickly find interest in getting to know her!

However, I do think that if he attempted to interact with her and she made it known that she did NOT want him to, he would step back and respect her boundaries.

If he ended up getting to interact with her, though, he would most likely end up saying things that are mildly unhinged in an attempt to make her laugh and possibly talk about poetry and writing.

I hope this answered your question, and that you have a wonderful day! Wishing you the best of luck on your expedition as well!

[dreadnought-dear-captain]

The End of the Line – Update and You Asked, I Told (Part 1 of 2)

Hi, friends! I have completed my move and gotten settled in to my new apartment and state and job, so I’m back here to answer some Asks and give a writing update.

In the past couple of months, I’ve somehow managed to crank out about 45,000 words of BW. All the way to the end. Yep. BW is DONE. I literally cannot believe it. It needs some quality time with the beta, and I want to catch up on answering comments, so I’m (tentatively) planning to post the rest of the chapters on Veterans Day, 11/11/2020. I remember commenting to someone that I would have the whole fic done by Veterans day 2018 but hahahahahahaha [sob]. As of right now, I believe it’s going to be three more chapters, and you can decide if you want to binge them or draw it out. I’m also planning to do a select list of works consulted, but I will probably attach that to the BW timeline when I get it done rather than tack it onto the end of BW.

I’ve also started outlining a new fic that I’m excited about. It’s a BuckyCap canon divergence story that’s been percolating in my mind for a few years and has done about 400 evolutions. I was planning to move on to an AIDS fic, but that would require so, so much research, and honestly, I’m researched out after BW. I need a break. But there will be some similar themes, so if you’re here for more emoshy angst, there’s more coming your way. In first person!

I’ve cleaned out my Tumblr inbox and am posting my Ask answers in two batches. I’m feeling less quarantined out and consumed with my move, so I’m going to continue working toward being more responsive more quickly. Moving forward, I might just answer the asks as they come up rather than batching them. I dunno.

The following contain spoilers for everything up to the latest chapter of BW. 

Starting with some love (thank you!) and progressing to questions. 

Oh, thank you so much! I’m thrilled that you’re enjoying it alkfjalfjsakjf!

Thank you so much! It’s something I’m seriously considering, actually. Although I could never publish BW the way it is (it’s far, far, FAR too long for any publisher to pick up as-is), I am planning to go through the manuscript after this and re-write the essential story in hopes of de-Marveling it and shopping it around. I’ve been playing around with the idea of even trying first person, since the character voices are so strong, but I love close third a lot too, so I’ll have to play around with it.

I appreciate your patience, and I’m so happy that you’re into it enough to wait so long for the damn thing to come out!

I’ve written a lot of layers into the story in hopes that it will have decent re-read value – for those brave enough to read a 700k word fic more than once. But honestly, it’s so complicated sometimes that even I lose track of all the things I’ve woven in throughout. Part of it is that it’s a very different animal from where I started, both in terms of story and style, and I had some places I planned to go but then diverted, so there may be artifacts of old ideas floating around, I’m sure!

You’re so right that the avoidance response is unbelievably strong for them, and part of their relationship goals (in my mind, anyway) is for them to be more direct in expressing what’s going on with them and what they need. As for the photo album, I can totally imagine this playing out – a nice family get together, some familial razzing, a highly triggered person trying to keep his shit together, but it’s Bucky, and emotion regulation is still not a very strong suit for him. So, presto. Awful picture night shenanigans.

As for Steve and his judgement call here, I agree that it’s definitely not the best. But I kind of wanted to show him as also being a vulnerable person who is struggling with this and wants relief from it. I think it’s more typical in fic to have one person is traumatized and the other who is this unwavering, grounded rock that is relatively unaffected by their loved one’s trauma and can provide appropriate support. Which is great! People like this absolutely exist. But this stuff with Bucky has really fucked Steve up, too, in addition to having his own trauma. He’s also feeling very distant from Bucky now, and one of the ways that they have historically gotten close is to have sex. It’s their go-to coping strategy as a couple. Don’t talk, fuck. So I thought it made sense that, on this night of vulnerability, they might resort to that.

(See Baghdad Waltz Timeline ) Yeah, he was twelve, which is right before his family moved to New York. I’ve been sprinkling the episode around many chapters and don’t plan to go into a whole lot more detail about it TBH. It’s not essential to know all of the details, I don’t think. However, more will be revealed about Bucky and Jack’s relationship and how Bucky feels about him/felt about him, so hopefully that can provide a little context for it. Bucky has a lot of conflicting feelings about Jack and what happened to him, so we are forced to look at it through the eyes of a highly unreliable narrator. I hope future chapters (or chapters after this Ask was sent), will shed a little light on this.

You’re spot on that Bucky totally minimizes it. Especially with Steve, knowing that Steve both needs to roughly know and probably will lose his mind if he knows the whole story. It was a brutal beating with some significant injuries that needed extra medical attention. As a side note, Bucky undoubtedly lied about having any surgeries, etc. in order to get into the Army.

Thank you so much! I’m fully aware how emotionally exhausting this story can be, and I’m never quite sure whether or not to be apologetic about it. I’m not aiming to sensationalize anything or manipulate feelings out of readers or characters, truly. My guiding star is asking, okay, given everything, what would happen next? Not necessarily what *I* want to happen next, but what would these characters do now? Certainly I throw some circumstances in their way, but a lot of the emotional and relational responses to these are me trying to unflinchingly show what would happen with these two particular people with these two particular psychologies and histories. 

As we can see, for as much as they love each other, this relationship is highly problematic. And these people are really struggling individually. I do try to show the good parts too, to balance things out, because I don’t want to shy away from those either. I’m always hopeful that the balance doesn’t become so out of whack that people nope out of the story.

Oh my God, I know. I think about that sometimes as well. Bucky was a highly skilled military professional, though I do wonder if this is one of the only environments that would have allowed him to avoid his own trauma quite this well. The military is such an all-encompassing career, one where, especially at higher ranks, you work ALL. THE. TIME. When you’re working all the time, when everything is about the men, about these extremely intense deployment experiences, there’s very little room for the past to creep in. It’s the perfect avoidance strategy. 

Moreover, the highly rigorous structure was excellent for Bucky, who tends to spiral out if he’s not operating within very firm boundaries. A lot of people with emotion regulation problems like Bucky’s can do very well in the military because of this. But when he lost that, so violently, it was the perfect catalyst for everything to come careening back to him. Especially when he really toned down the drinking. This is life for a lot of veterans, though certainly not all, or even most. But Bucky’s relationship with the military was absolutely symbiotic, yes. It is sad.

This is one of Bucky’s attempts to earn favor with his new friends in New York, so good catch on the lie. Someone with an affectionate nickname obviously must have been liked, right? The last thing he wanted to do was have a repeat of his experience in Kentucky, so he put on a very good show and bullshat his way into a good social situation in New York. It’s not really bullshit though, because he’s a likable person. But I imagine he assessed the way he was, quiet, thoughtful, sweet, and probably decided nope, I’m not gonna be those things here. Not again. Some of the stuff, like his thoughtfulness and sweetness, couldn’t really be suppressed. But he did a lot of impression management in New York, including the creation of this nickname for himself.

Now, on to Part Two! See you there. 

[mirkwoodshewolf]

You’re still the smartest girl I know; John Deacon x daughter teen reader

*Author’s note*

Hey guys wow my final crunch time at college has kept me REALLY busy with all these final projects that I need to do, so my thanksgiving break is gonna be INSANE with doing all this work that I need to do BUT the good news is is that I had this request done in my downtime that I had, so to the anon who requested this awhile back, I’m SOOO SORRY for getting it to you so late but I hope you love it either way.

I also have updates on a few of my series so I may end up making a post about my writing updates and what all I plan to work on to try and get more organized with all that I have to do. So I’ve got two updates for you guys so I hope you all like this fic.

Warnings: school, mild angst, failing school, FLUFF, Dad!Deacy (cause let’s face it its a warning because he’s FREAKIN ADORABLE!!!) and my unknown knowledge of how Catholic schools work, so if I’m wrong about something, PLEASE send me a comment or an inbox to correct it. 

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things​

@psychosupernatural​

@ixchel-9275​

@waddles03​

@queendeakyy​

@platawnic​

@kairosfreddie​

___________________________________________________________

I just don’t get it.  My dad graduated with 8 GCE O level and 3 A level in electronics, he’s designed his own amp, and helps with not only the family finances but the band finances too. He’s the smartest guy I know and I share half of his genius, or at least I should.  

I needed to sustain at least a 3.50 average to stay in my current Catholic secondary school but with my failing classes I’m barely at a 2.50.  It’s not that I don’t try to do the work I do the homework and attend the lectures, it’s just that some of my classes like Geometry and Ancient religions, the teachers make the assignments so confusing.

Even when I would write the papers, they always found something to pick at and I end up with either C’s or even D’s on my papers, even when I would stay up all night skimming through book after book to get the required aspects they ask for. Also their quizzes and exams are so unfair, they would tell us this or that would be on the test, but by the time the test came around, absolutely NONE of the stuff they said would be on it, is on it. Hell they’ve put things down that we haven’t even learned yet.

It was currently Fall break and I spending some time with my family for the holiday trying to get my mind off of school.  I was watching over my brothers rough house in the backyard.  God they were so lucky they don’t have to deal with the harsh school life just yet.

“So (y/n) how’s school going love?” I heard my mum say.  I quickly looked up at her and said quickly.

“School’s fine.” She looked at me skeptically.

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“Yeah mum, everything’s fine.” Then fortunately saved by the bell, the doorbell rang and I immediately shot up and said. “I’ll get it!” I quickly raced to the front door and cracked it open.  And there at the door was the mail carrier.  He took out of his bag our mail for the day and he said.

“Here’s your mail ma’am.”

“Thanks Gardner, have a good day.” I said.  He nodded and walked off the curb and continued down the road with his route. I closed the door and skimmed through the mail.  Most of it was bills, some Queen stuff for dad to sign and look over, but then there was a letter from the school sent to me.  At this point my heart was racing.

“Who was that?” Oh shit dad.  I turned around to see him coming down the stairs holding my baby sister who had probably just woken up from her nap.

“Oh just the mail. Mostly bills this time, but then again what else is new. And there’s some Queen stuff for you to look over dad.” I handed him most of the mail but kept the letter from London University for me.

“Well what’s that?”

“What? Oh this oh it’s just junk mail. Something about 20% interest rate on life insurance from a different company. Damn things are just scams anyway. I’ll shred it dad.” I walked up and kissed his cheek then my baby sister before racing upstairs.

As soon as I reached my room, I closed the door and locked it and leaned against it in a panic.  Nervously I opened up the envelope and it read the worst thing I could imagine.

To Miss (Y/n) (M/n) Deacon,

It has come to our attention of your low grades. It is required that your parents come in for a meeting with the Headmaster in regards to your low grades.

At that point my mind went blank as I ignored all that the letter said.  Tears formed in my eyes.  Goddamnit why did they send this letter? Cause first comes the letter, then the phone calls will follow.  I’ve tried so hard to keep my struggles in school away from my parents because I didn’t want them to get involved, that all I needed to do was try better since that’s all teachers seem to push onto me, if not then I’ll make it up in summer school.  

I just wanted to prove that I was as smart as my dad is.

So I hide the letter in the folds of my diary knowing that my parents don’t go snooping around it and putting it in the secret place where I know my snoopy brothers can’t get to it (thank god I change places every week) and tried to forget about it.  It was then a knock was heard at my door.

“(Y/n)? Poppet is everything okay in there?”

“Uhh—yeah dad everything’s fine.”

“Then why is your door locked?”

“I’m changing clothes dad, I’m meeting Stacy and Courtney for a movie later tonight.” There was a brief moment of silence before he said.

“Alright but at least unlock it. We’ve talked about this before, plus your brothers think girls are gross so I doubt they’d pop in on their sister changing.”

“Okay dad sorry.” Thank god he bought it.  I then went over to my phone and tried to make my lie seem real as I called both Stacy and Courtney to meet me at the theater in 15min.

Thankfully since it was the weekend, my parents let me go out later than usual so long as I was back before ten.  My dad gave me some money for the tickets and food and we kissed each other goodbye and I drove off to the theater.

I soon met my two best friends and we decided to just walk around the mall instead going to see a movie.  It was there I told the girls everything.  As they were trying on new stuff from a new store called The Gap, I said to them.

“What am I gonna do girls?”

“Well you know me girl, if I were you I’d just come clean.” Said Courtney.

“Are you crazy?! No way can she tell them about this. Okay chick this is what you do. You answer any calls the school makes and come up with any and every excuse you’ve got.” Stacy said as she peeked over her changing room into Courtney’s.

“Stace, no offense but your parents may buy into that but I’ve met her mum and dad and they aren’t stupid like yours are.”

“Yeah you got a point. Hell I could go to prison for murder and my parents wouldn’t care.”

“Guys hello! Back to me.” I begged.

“Sorry. Well looks like your screwed chickadee.”

“Oh gee thanks Stace.”

“Look (y/n). All I can tell you is that you won’t be able to hide this forever. Just—show them the note and tell them the truth. I’m sure they’ll understand if you explain it to them. And I can back you up about Mr. Crowley. Guy’s a right up arsehole if you ask me. Gave me -20 points because I used the wrong citation for the Bibliography page. And it was only one source that was labeled wrong” Said Courtney.

“Yeah and our Geometry teacher Miss. Ringo, I can barely understand what she’s saying with that thick Dutch accent of hers. Gave me a 30% on our last exam.”

“That’s because all you did was doodle and call her an old bat.” I said bluntly.

“Oh yeah. But oh man you should’ve seen the look on her face on the last homework assignment we had.”

“I don’t even wanna know.” Said Courtney.

“Trust me you don’t.” I vouched.

“Hey come on, let’s forget about school, get you to try on some clothes. We’ll go to the food court and get your mind off of things. Sound good?” Stacy said as she came out wearing a new jean jacket with suspenders underneath.  I nodded and said with a smile.

“Thanks guys, you’re the best friends I could ask for.”

“Hey divas in diapers remember? The three musketeers. The triple threat angelz.”

“With a Z because…..”

“We’re bad bitches!” we all exclaimed as we held our right hands out in a fist touching each other’s in a triangle shape.  And so that’s how it was, the girls helped me get my mind off of the letter and the stress of school with a good Girl’s day out.

A couple days later I was back in school in my Ancient Religions class. Mr. Crowley of course barely allowed any time for me to fully write down what he had on the board because he immediately went to the next thing.  He never once asked if anyone had any questions and if someone stopped him, he’d slam the ruler down on the student’s desk and either ask them to meet him after class, or just give them detention.

“Alright students; I’m going to give you your final assignment for the semester for you to do just before winter break.” Everyone groaned.  He had just give us a 10 page paper on how Christianity as a whole effected the Global conquest, and now he’s giving us another essay to do. “Hey, hey, hey, hey! No complaints you miscreants!”

But just before he could continue, the intercom beeped above us.

“Mr. Crowley?”

“Yes?” he said annoyedly.

“Will you please send Miss. Deacon into the office.”

“She’s on her way.”

“Thank you.”

“(Y/n) Deacon.” At that point everyone but Courtney all made the ‘oooo busted’ vocals. I flipped them off as Mr. Crowley made me my hall pass so that I wouldn’t get caught by a teacher patrolling the halls.  I grabbed my bag and left the classroom.

I walked down the second floor staircase, down to the main level and turned towards the entrance where the main office was.  I walked in and I said.

“I’m (Y/n) Deacon. I was told to come here from Mr. Crowley’s class.” The receptionist said.

“Ahh yes Miss. Deacon. The Headmaster would like to speak with you.” Oh shit. This is probably about that letter.  I swallowed nervously and hung my bag further up my shoulder and walked down the corridor towards the Headmaster’s office.  It felt like the walkway was getting longer as I walked towards that dreaded office room, that was until finally I arrived at it.

Slowly I reached up and knocked on it.  There was a brief period of silence before a low voice said.

“Come in.” I opened the door and there standing at the grand desk was Headmaster Byron.  He was a fairly older man (if I had to make a guess I’d say currently around Miami’s age). He was a bit—you now stout shape wise. He was going bald and he wore glasses over his hazel eyes. “Ahh Miss. Deacon please sit down.” I walked in and nervously sat down at the chair in front of me.

“You—wanted to see me sir?”

“Yes. I’ve called you down here regarding a letter I had sent over the fall break. I expected to hear a call from your parents but I hadn’t heard anything back from them. Is there a problem?” Oh god what do I say to him?

“Well I—I guess the mail service was just a little slow. Because we haven’t received the letter just yet.”

“Hmm well that’s unusual. Usually the mail service is properly on time. I mean at least we’re more organized than the American system at least to my knowledge.”

“Yeah guess they must’ve lost it.” I said nervously fiddling with my fingers, anxiously picking at my nails.

“In that case; I can send you with another copy of the letter. But if I don’t hear anything within 24hours expect the first phone call.” I nodded as he handed me the same letter that I had gotten in the mail over the break.  I thanked him and quickly headed out of the office. On my way back to class I ripped the letter up into as many pieces as I could before discarding it into the nearest bin and returned to class like nothing happened.

After school I was in my room trying to make sense of the math homework I had to deal with and that’s when a knock was heard at my open door.  I looked up and there stood my mum.

“Hey love. So you’re dad’s working late tonight with the band so I’m ordering a pizza for dinner. What would you like on yours?”

“Get me a full cheese and my toppings are sausage and pepperoni.”

“You got it. Doing homework?” I nodded solemnly. “Which class is it for?”

“Geometry.”

“Oh yeah, I remember taking that class. Hardest thing I ever knew. In fact all math was difficult for me. Thank god for your dad though, he was always better at finances than I was. That’s how we met as a matter of fact, I was struggling with my Algebra homework and he offered to help me since we were in the same class together.” Lucky her that she at least had dad to help her, meanwhile I on the other hand had absolutely no one to help me.

Everyone was in it for themselves, not even the teacher was willing to give us tutoring sessions if we didn’t get any of the stuff taught in class. He just expected us to memorize and do everything correctly.

“Say, speaking of geometry did you get the midterm results back yet?” Oh god that’s right. Dad actually skipped out on Queen rehearsals to help tutor me for the upcoming fall midterm exam.

Unfortunately for all that hard work, nothing we had practiced was on the midterm, half the stuff was gibberish to me so I just wrote random answers that I could and I ended up with an F.

“He uhh—he got super busy grading our other stuff that he didn’t have time to look over the midterms. But he said hopefully in the next week or two he’ll get to it.”

“Are you sure?” I nodded and she looked at me skeptically.

“Okay, if you say so. I’ll call you when dinner arrives okay?”

“Sounds good mum. Love you.”

“Love you too.” She kissed the top of my head and left my room.  I turned away and tossed my books and homework off my bed and buried my face into my bedsheets and softly began to cry.

Why? Why does this have to happen to me?! Why can’t I just get the damn work? Why do I have to be such a fucking idiot!?!?

Days passed and I still didn’t have the heart to tell my parents that I was failing school.  And when the phone started ringing I tried to make an effort to try and answer it before they did, fearing that it was the school.

Some calls it was to which I would make excuses for the school and then tell my mum and dad that it was just boring telemarketers trying to sell us stuff. Other times it’d be Uncle Freddie or uncle Roger calling for Deacy about some Queen business stuff (and of course I chatted with them, I’ve known them ever since I was a baby, plus Freddie was my godfather—or I should say fairy godmother).

But it wasn’t until one day when I came home from an afterschool football game Stacy and Courtney invited me to, that I would pay dearly for the lie that I had been trying to keep.

“Yeah I know and when Bobby finally scored the winning goal I swear it was a one and a million shot he got that!” Stacy exclaimed as we got out of her car and walked up my driveway before stopping at the gate.

“I tell you you’ve got one lucky man right there Stace. Your boy’s gonna go far in football.” Said Courtney.

“All I know is that for the first time in decades our school is finally in the playoffs and that we might have a shot of winning the district championship since 1971.” I said.

“Well we definitely have the best team to get us there. Not to mention the cutest.” Courtney said before snickering towards the end.

“I’ll drink to that.” I said taking a shot of my water.

“(Y/n). Can you come in here please?” I looked up to see my dad standing there by the door.  His arms crossed over his chest and I could tell something was wrong.

“Yeah dad I’ll be right there. See you girls Monday then?”

“We’ll save you a seat at the cafeteria before homeroom.” The girls then walked back to the car and they drove off.  I opened the gate and trotted up the stairs before standing in front of him.

“Is something wrong dad?”

“Come in the house and let’s talk.” He placed a hand on my shoulder and guided me inside.  As we walked through the house towards the kitchen, I could feel the tension in the air. It was so thick, you could cut it with a knife.  My mum sat there at the kitchen table looking distraught almost. “Have a seat.” Okay now I was getting a little freaked out.

I sat down and that’s when dad stood behind mum placing his hands on her shoulders.

“(Y/n), has something been going on at school that you’re not telling us?” asked my mum concerned.

“No—why do you ask?”

“Well we caught Robert and Michael reading your diary and—”

“They what!? MICHAEL! ROBERT GET YOUR ARSES DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW YOU LITTLE BUGGERS!!!”

“Hey! Hey! Hey! Language and lower that tone in your voice!” dad snapped at me. “We handled the boys, but it was then we found this.” He took something out of his pocket before unfolding it and placing it down right in front of me on the table.  My heart sunk and my throat grew dry.

It was the first letter sent in by my school.

“So we called the school and they said they’ve been trying to get in touch with us. And that you said we didn’t receive any letter the first time around so the Headmaster gave you a second letter.” Mum stated more in an interrogating tone than the concerned tone she had earlier.

“Have you really been failing your classes? And this time don’t. Lie. To us.”

“No!” I exclaimed.

“They said you’re barely holding a 2.50 GPA.”

“Well I—I just….I don’t mean to I-I-I-I….the teachers they’re…..” I kept rambling as I felt tears in my eyes and my throat clenched. “I don’t get why I’m being target.”

“The better question is why did you lie to us!? You’ve known about your grades for what weeks? And you lied to us every time a grade was mentioned! Do you have any idea the level of betrayal you’ve given to me and your mother!?” my dad’s voice slowly raised up in anger.

I tucked away in fear at his intimidating voice.  He rarely and I say this with a big emphasis that my dad rarely gets mad, but when he does—oh god help us all.  I didn’t answer.  Couldn’t answer him.

“(Y/n) (m/n) Deacon answer me when I’m talking to you!” he snapped.  I looked up fearfully and ashamed and I did the only thing that was running through my mind.

Run.

I got up and as quick as I could I raced out of the house and down the street.  I fucked up. I know, but at this point it was too late. Just seeing my dad get angry with me, I knew he hated me now.

I ran all the way down the street and turned left and ran towards old widow Johannsson’s back garden.  I opened the gate that stood around her AC vent and locked the door so that no one could open it.  I leaned against the corner of the gate and just sobbed as hard as I could.

All of my fears and sorrow came out as I wept hysterically and choked on my sobs, that’s when I heard my dad’s voice calling out my name.  I held my hand over my mouth to try and keep quiet as his voice got louder and louder.  I soon saw him through the cracks in the fence as he looked around.  Unfortunately a sniffle just had to come out and soon dad turned towards the fence.

“(Y/n)?”

“Please just go away and let me cry in peace.” I choked out.

“That’s not going to happen, now c’mon open the gate.”

“No you—you already hate me.” He scoffed out a sigh.

“Wha—what makes you think I hate you?” he asked in disbelief.

“You only yell when you hate someone. And now you hate me. You hate me that I lied to you. You hate me for keeping secrets. And you hate me because I’m stupid.”

“Hello? What—what is going on out here?” widow Johansson came out on top of her deck and looked down towards us.

“I’m sorry Valarie but—could you give us a few minutes?” she must’ve looked down and saw me because that’s when she slowly backed off and allowed my dad to talk to me again. “(Y/n), love I—I don’t hate you. Yeah I’m upset because you lied to your mum and I but I could never, ever hate you.”

“But you do dad don’t deny it. I kept this from you and you’ll never forgive me. You’ll never love me again because I’m a stupid bitch who can’t understand anything!”

“First of all you are not a stupid bitch. You are a brilliant, smart, beautiful young girl. And I will always love you no matter what.”

“Stop saying that. Please just go away please…..” I trailed off before pleading out one last time. “Please.” With that I didn’t hear another response from him as I continued to softly weep.  I could hear footsteps walking up widow Johansson’s back deck and then the back door closed.  I looked up and saw my dad as well as widow Johansson gone.  I wiped my tears and just curled myself into a ball.

I don’t know how much time passed but I knew it wasn’t long, maybe 5-7 minutes because the next thing I hear are footsteps walking back down the deck and my dad sitting himself down against the gate.  It was then I heard a guitar being strummed before a familiar tune was being played.

It was strange to hear it on guitar instead of an electric piano like it was on the record but the tune was easily recognizable, especially when my dad softly began singing the lyrics.  And sure he didn’t have as good a voice as my uncles did but—he still made the song count.

Oh, you're the best friend that I ever had I've been with you such a long time You're my sunshine and I want you to know That my feelings are true I really love you Oh, you're my best friend

While it is true that my dad wrote this song for my mum back when a Night at the Opera came out, he also written it for me as well.  Because when he first played it for us, he said he wanted a song dedicated to his favorite girls.  

So taking the electric piano he practiced and practiced till he knew how to play the tune and since then the song’s been like a comforting lullaby to me.  And he’s played and sung it to me ever since.

Ooh, you make me live Whenever this world is cruel to me I got you to help me forgive Ooh, you make me live now honey Ooh, you make me live

You're the first one When things turn out bad You know I'll never be lonely You're my only one And I love the things I really love the things that you do Oh, you're my best friend

Ooh, you make me live

I'm happy at home You're my best friend

He stopped playing and slightly turned towards me.  I wiped away my tears and just like it always did, it made me stop crying.

“Guess I still got it huh?”

“Shut up.” I muttered which made him softly chuckle.

“Can you please open the gate love? Let me see my best friend.” He asked.  I slowly scooted towards the gate and slowly reached for the handle.  I held onto it for a while and I pulled one side down which caused the other side to lift up.  The gate slowly opened and there sitting a few feet away from me was my dad.  “There she is.”

I sniffled and wiped away the tearstains but I was still afraid to look him in the eye for more than a second.  I felt his hand cup the side of my face wiping away the tears.

“Do you think you can talk to me now?” I nodded. “Okay. Now (y/n) please explain to me why you lied to us about your grades?”

“Because I—I wanted to prove myself.”

“Prove yourself about what?”

“That I could be as smart as you. You’re the smartest man I know and you never seem to get stumped about anything. You graduates college with the highest in your major, you’ve built your own amps from old junk, and you handle both our finances as well as the bands. But—the schoolwork I’m given is so beyond hard. I tried my best dad it’s not that I don’t do the homework because I do. I really do, it’s just that…..”

“Hey, hey poppet. Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay.” I sniffled and harshly wiped my tears away but my dad stopped me and replaced my thick sleeve with his gentle but calloused fingers.  “I know you do the homework. I’ve seen you do it and so has your mum.”

“But the teachers make it so unfair to learn. They say this or that will be on the test but then something we haven’t even learned yet is what ends up as majority of the questions. Or they’re not consistent with what they want on the papers before giving us a bigger paper the next day after the previous one. Dad I—I’m a failure. And I didn’t want you to be ashamed of having a stupid daughter like me.”

“Oh (y/n),” he scooted closer to me and cupped both sides of my face forcing me to look up at him with teary eyes. “I am in no way, nor will I ever be ashamed to have you as my daughter. You’re my first baby girl and I love you soo much. You don’t have to be a genius like me to be my daughter, because you are smart in your own clever way.”

“But I—I’m failing my classes, how can I be smart when I’m failing?”

“You’re still trying, are you not?” I shrugged.

“I guess.”

“Then that proves your smart. Oh my sweet girl I wish you had come to me about this sooner instead of feeling like you had to hide this from me.”

“I’m sorry daddy.” I softly choked out.

“It’s okay love. Now come here, you deserve cuddles and kisses right now.” I immediately fell into his arms and buried myself into his shoulder.  He rubbed my back in soothing circles and stroked through my hair. “We’ll get this sorted out okay? But promise me that you’ll never lie to us about school again, okay?”

“I promise…..never again.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

And they did just that.  I showed my parents everything regarding exams, homework and showed just how unfair the work was for me.  I showed them my notes and told them what my teachers were really like.

The next day they scheduled a meeting with the headmaster and they talked about how the teachers are treating me and my fellow classmates unfairly with too much work and not unfair teachings of not asking for help.

Now one would think after telling you this I got off scot-free right? Wrong. I was grounded for the same amount of time that I had lied to my parents about school, so that meant over a week and a half of no TV, no after school activities and no phone privileges.

But after getting the teachers fired and currently dealing with substitutes for the rest of the year, whenever dad wasn’t busy with Queen; he made a promise to sit down with me and if there was anything I was stuck on, he’d help me with it. No matter how long it took.

[cananybodysea]

omg pls some headcanons for dating the awkward tree boy

me? writing about evan?? again??? ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

[If you sent in headcanon requests they may take a bit of time to complete cause i’m going back to the start of my inbox and answering headcanon requests from a while back up until the most recent! Hang in there i promise i will post your headcanons!!]

Ok, here we go kiddos.

Evan is so sweet. and soft. and he believes that being with you makes him a better person in every way. You make him feel so happy and you make him feel beautiful and valued and you listen to him and he feels like he can trust you with everything. He does everything in his power to make you happy.

His favourite place to have date nights with you is on the beach?? or at the orchard or the park or something. He prefers to go to the beach at night time when it’s very quiet and the sun is setting and you can sit on the sand and not care about anybody seeing you because the place is so empty! He likes sitting in the sand with you and smooching you and maybe y'all go get ice cream (even tho it’s almost nighttime) and you take your shoes and socks off and go dip your feet into the water. it usually ends in splashing each other and laughing and giggling and evan is so so happy when he gets to spend time with u like this. Also, when u go to the beach - he loves to find nice shells and take them home because he wants to collect them!! idk why,,, he just thinks they’re very pretty.

Whenever u go to the orchard or the park or something like that,, you n him will walk for a while, holding hands and he’ll point out all the ‘coolest trees’ and tell you stuff about them !! and it’s the cutest thing ever !! he really will just rant about how good trees are and how their leaves are all different and stuff like that. You and him sit on the grass for a while and just lie next to eachother and maybe play that game where you say what the clouds are shaped like ?? idk what it’s called - but evan loves it.

He has an Instagram - but before you started dating him he only had two photos on it. One of him and his mom and another of him getting his cast put on. After you start dating, he uploads a lot more. Not just pictures of you etc but he uploads photos of trees, of his mom, of himself! He’ll also upload videos or boomerangs of him walking through forests or whatever,,, and of course there are lots of photos of him holding your hand, or of you kissing his cheek, or just pictures of you that he captions ‘😇❤️’ He starts uploading a lot more because he learns how to use it properly from you and he feels a lot happier and does a lot more things after u start dating so he is able to upload more pictures if that makes sense.

Heidi adores you. I mean adores you. She has your phone number !! And she’ll text to sometimes saying ’Just made spaghetti! Feel free to come over for dinner if you’d like!! :-) ’ oh my god she’s so cute. Also, there’s times where Evan will come back from Jared’s or something and you’ll be standing in his kitchen baking cookies with heidi before she goes to work and he’s like ??? ok ??

ok so,, i feel like evan has a little scrapbook or something. Heidi bought him a polaroid camera for his last birthday and he found an empty scrapbook under his bed from years ago and his goal is to fill it up by the end of the year with things that make him happy. (His therapist said that this can help ease his mind and distract him if he’s feeling down)! so !! He has photos of you, photos of you and heidi, photos of him and you, photos of jared and zoe and alana and connor, photos of trees, a random cat he saw all alone in the street, he has photos of heidi making dinner, he has pictures his hand holding yours and stuff like that stuck down in this scrapbook. He looks at it whenever he’s sad or scared or having a bad night. He will always smile when he looks at his little book!!

Once when you’re doing your homework- you got a facetime call from evan and when you answered it he looked so happy and his nose was crinkling and !! he was so happy!! and he asked you if he could come over and you were like !! ok!! and when he arrived he practically tackled you onto your bed and started cuddling you immediately and you were like ?? what’s going on !!!! Turns out he was just happy that you love him as much as he loves you and he just wanted you to hold him. lmao

!!!!! u and evan always go to zoe’s jazz band concerts!!! and ur sweet boy loves it !!! he loves the music and he bounces in his seat while watching it and his little leg starts to jiggle and he sways a lil without even realising it !!! and it’s so cute because he genuinely loves this music !! he sometimes records their performances on his phone and uploads them to instagram or just watches them whenever he feels like it !! oh my god !!!!! it makes me giddy just thinking about this

i can imagine evan dancing to the music like that video of ben platt dancing with his wine glass… u know the one…. he looks so so happy… kinda like that but a bit less because he’s evan and he’s shy™

Ok you’ve probably heard me talk about this before but i will not live this headcanon down. Evan sits on your lap. He loves to just straddle you (not in a sexy way at all) he just thinks that it’s really comfortable and it makes him feel really nice and happy and he just loves to sit there.

Sometimes you’ll be in his bedroom studying, and he stands up to go get something but then he just turns around and walks over to u and kinda gives you the eyes™ and u smile at him and then he knows it’s okay to sit on ur lap. He just kinda…..slides…into your lap and shoves his head into your neck and his arms wrap around your shoulders and you pull him real close and oh my god your boy loves it. He goes bright bright red when he does it and sometimes if he’s feeling a lil tiny bit confident… he kiss ur cheek or ur neck (like one tiny smooch) !!!!!! and hnNnNnNnNg this is my favourite headcanon for him tbh.

He’s a lot more calm around u. Like of course he’s still very nervous and quiet at times because anxiety isn’t something that just goes away - but he’s able to be more relaxed around you because you make him feel so safe ?? and you’re so kind to him and you don’t rush him when he’s struggling to get the words out you just listen and you snuggle with him when he needs it and he loves you so much.

the boy can sing. he has a pOWERhoUse VoIce i mean it’s ben platt were talking about here!! Once you caught him singing,,, and he was really going for it,,,, he was singing his little heart out and he was so In The Zone he didn’t know you were there and when he saw you he was like !! oh no !! and started rambling and turned beet red and he….he was actually nearly crying he was so embarrassed but you just grabbed him by the shoulders and told him it was ok,,,, no evan i didn’t record u singing,,,, no evan i won’t tell jared,,,, no evan i didn’t think u were awful,,, evan nO

he tells u that he really enjoys singing,,, but he obviously wouldn’t do it in front of anyone,,, so he learns how to play piano and if you’re lucky….. sometimes when u go to his house he’ll play piano and sing for you. (only if u promise to not look at him)

There’s not really many nicknames tbh… it’s not a bad thing y'all have just never discussed pet names or anything… u kinda just call eachother by your names or sometimes u call evan ‘ev’! but,,, on rare occasions evan will call u babe. (only sometimes) and once you called him ‘gorgeous’ and he was. silent. he froze. and was bright red and almost crying because he loved it so much. so sometimes u say stuff like “i’ll see you later, gorgeous” and he’s. a goner. he almost whimpers and he’s like omg i love when u call me that.

he texts u every night just making sure you’re okay. and if he can’t get to sleep because his moms not home and he’s a little uncomfortable in the house by himself - you’ll come over or else he’ll facetime you and he just talks to you for a few hours and he’s constantly apologising for keeping u awake on a school night but you don’t care. he needs u and you’ll b there

i think he enjoys baking,,, him and heidi used to do it a lot but then she started working a lot more and she just doesn’t have the time for it now so he just kinda forgot about it

bUT,,,,one day he came to ur house after school and u were baking cookies cause u were rlly craving them and evan walked into ur kitchen and he smelt the cookie dough and he was like hnnnNnNnNnBbBGg,,,, yUm and he saw u standing there with flour all over ur hands and ur face and there were smudges of chocolate from the chocolate chips on ur fingers and evan was like,,,,, binch i want to bake

so he helped u with the rest of the baking and at first u were going to tell him what to do but then u realised,,,,. shit,,,,,,, he’s really good at this !! he doesn’t need ur help !! BOY !! and he was so in the zone and excited and he basically finished baking them for u tbh,,, !!

evan ends up with a little smear of chocolate on the corner of his mouth n ur like,, i wonder if i should do that cheesy thing and kiss it off for him,,

yES. he would love that

anyway, u both sit in ur bedroom munching on the cookies and smooching and watching tv and evan realised how much he missed baking so then it becomes a regular thing that u both do!!

i’ve done some kissing hcs for evan before,,, but,,, i feel like every single time after u kiss him - it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together - he will keep his eyes shut. like after u pull away he doesn’t open his eyes for a moment because wow he needs to take it all in cause ur lips are so soft and u love him and he loves kissing u and he just needs a minute. kinda like this ??? like u see how his eyes stay closed for a sec ?? and he’s got this look on his face that’s like :-) wow i just kissed someone i love !!! that’s what he does !!!!!!!!!!! i’m scremememememe kiss him !! pls kiss him

me, sobbing, clutching my hands to my chest, holding a million tissues: *INHALES* plEA SE !! give him some eskimo kisses ??!!!!2!2!/!3&/ !! hello !! they are his favourite !!!! oh my god !! he gets this warm fuzzy feeling in his belly !! when u rub ur nose with his and he does the nose crinkle and he’s smiling and giggling and !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m sorry i love this boy !! can u tell

he. has. warm. fluffy. fuzzy. pjs. ! ! ! like??? he has lots of those winter pajamas that are fluffy and big and cozy and they have lil animals on them and some of them are sparkly and !!! he loves em !! also,,, in the summer when he can’t wear them he’ll wear like big tshirts and shorts,,, or else just boxers ya know ?? but he likes to wear slipper socks. cause his lil feet get cold very easily,, also he doesn’t like his feet being out in the open so he just wears them !! and u take lots of pictures of him in his cute night clothes because he’s just…. so sweet and cute and beautiful and he lets u upload them to instagram !! (u try to yell at jared every time he teases evan about it but he will never stop)

listen to me. listen good. listen close. listen hard. evan hansen. is a little spoon. always. (unless ur upset or u just want to be the little soon cause he’ll do anything for u.) it feels so nice for him when he gets to b the little soon. snuggle him and keep him safe pls.

idk if i mentioned this but uhhh… this is an au where the whole connor thing never happened and evan doesn’t lie or anything. yeet.

very much enjoys going shopping with you ?? idk dude,, he likes helping u pick out clothes and he likes to see u trying them on and everything! he thinks it’s fun to help u create outfits ,,, and he likes to shop at stationary stores because he always picks up little funky pens and weird photo frames and stuff ! and once the two of u went into a dollar store or something and it was completely empty (cause it was like 2am lol) barr like one member of staff that was busy!! so u played ‘the floor is lava’ and videoed it and out it on ur snapchat story and it to this day is the funniest thing,,. the look of fear on evans face when u say it,,, it’s so f u n n y!!

That’s another thing,,, when u or evan can’t sleep u call the other one and if they’re awake u both drive to the dollar store and pick up a few snacks and just sit somewhere quiet and eat them and talk about stuff ya feel ??

the secret to calming him down after a bad panic attack: read to him. Read him a book, or an article from a magazine, or just something that see on ur phone while runnin your hand through his hair and letting him sit on your lap and hide his face in your shoulders. (ps if the whole ‘having evan sit in ur lap’ thing makes u uncomfortable,,, then tell him and he will back off) He likes to listen to ur soft voice and the way ur talking is really nice and calming and he needs u right now to distract him from all of his thoughts etc.

also,,, he likes to doodle on ur hands with lil colourful gel pens that he found in his bedroom,,, he draws smiley faces and stars and flowers and trees all over ur hand (if u let him !!) and he giggles while he does it because he feels a lot better than he did 10 mins ago and he’s sitting there giggling with big red puffy eyes from crying :-(( and he looks so cute :-’(

at school, u two don’t like to show too much affection bc jared and connor will tease u endlessly, so he holds ur hand underneath the lunch table,, and smooches u if ur alone in the library or smth,, and its actually quite sweet?? ur relationship is v cute and private and special and :)))) u love him.

when prom finally comes around,, despite what people might think,, evan is actually excited,, because zoe’s band is going to perform !! and his friends will be there and it will be a good night. (he’s still a very very anxious bean tho). u go shopping for ur outfit with zoe and alana and connor (jared helps evan) ((so does connor)) !

so…. on the night….he’s wearing a dark navy suit, with a lil tiny yellow flower poking out of the pocket (heidi put that there) and his hair looks nice n curly,,, and he’s blushing because ?? he feels confident for once ?? he likes how he looks ?? and he can’t wait to see you ohmhykdosbaiab

u come to his house and when he sees u he like. has to stop and recollect himself because you look so unbelievably beautiful and ur here with him and ur dating him and he is so confused as to what he did to deserve it…. and he just takes a deep breath and walks towards u and gives u a big ol smooch and mumbles that he loves you against ur lips and !!! ughhhhh!!!

heidi took a picture of it happening and also took a whole load of pictures of u and evan in her driveway and posted them to facebook and wrote a nice paragraph about how happy she is that ur a part of her and evans lives and !!! eeekk !!!

the whole night was spent with ur friends and u did a little bit of dancing with your whole squad (after zoe’s band had finished performing) and after a few hours,,, u guys were like,,, hmmmm let’s go somewhere else. so you all went to a random field and sat there in your fancy prom outfits at like midnight just laughing and having a great time and it was the happiest you’d been in ages.

he loves you. so so so much. pls love him and treat him well.

send me an ask if you’d like me to do part 2 !!! i have so many more :))))

[moonraccoon-exe]

Hello, my dear moonchild. I know there‘s still my last ask waiting to be answered but I just wanted to talk, even if I have nothing much to say. It‘s ohne of these nights sadly, when I am tired but can‘t sleep. Ah, I‘m here wanting to talk about something but nothing comes to mind, sorry. Well, I made Mango muffins today, so please have one of them. :3 And have a good rest of the weekend. *hugs you* -Peridot

PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERIDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*GLOMPS*

*STAYS HUGGED TO YOUR HEAD FOR THE NEXT 10 DAYS*

*CRIES*

PERIDOT. PERIDOT. PERIDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!! ;A;

*keeps crying* Peridot…. ;A; 

I can’t tihnk of saying anything else, I just- Peridot. A-aah…. ;A;

*curls up in a ball and continues crying for the rest of the week*

P-Peridooooot… (ಥ﹏ಥ)

I have so many emotions right now because it’s been a long while since we last properly spoke, but there’s your previous ask, so in a way it doens’t feel like you’ve been away for too long, but because I haven’t answered to that precious ask, it’s still the first timei n a while I reply properly to you, but mostly, and most importantly

AND EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW SO THEY SEE THE SORT OF FAILURE I AM

This has been in  my inbox for a WEEK. This IMPORTANT, emergency ask has been in my inbox for a week. AND I DIDN’T REPLY.

*SOBS*

PERIDOT, SMACK ME. TAKE A NEWSPAPER AND SMACK ME WITH IT UNTIL I’M KNOCKED OUT BECAUSE I AM A BAD FRIEND AND I’M SO EVIL AND SO CARELESS AND HOW COULD I DO SUCH A THING, I AM DESPICABLE, PLEASE HATE ME, I-I-….I….BW-BWAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!  ｡･ﾟﾟ*(>д<)*ﾟﾟ･｡

Imma- Imma put the rest under a cut, okay, dear Peridot? ;____;

I do admit I wasn’t home for the whole weekend past weekend. Barely access to internet, enough to read your ask, but because it was family reunion and stuff so I couldn’t get away to write my reply. I am so sorry, Peridot. So very sorry.

You needed of me, and I couldn’t reply. It was one of those bad nights for you and I wasn’t there. :’( I also imagine it must have been a particularly bad night for you, maybe? Because you seem to have them frequently, but rarely have you written to me asking for company. So I don’t know, I fear that it may have been truly awful…the mere idea that I wasn’t there to reply even when I did see the ask, it makes me feel so horrible…

I’m so sorry. I won’t give you excuses and I won’t ask that you forgive me, just know that I’m sorry. As I said in my last response (I’m not sure you saw it?), even as you struggled so much and I wasn’t there, you still came back when I was in my days of physical pain on monday and tuesday, not minding that I abandoned you on saturday night…

I feel so bad, Peridot. SO, so bad. You’re always there for me, so supportive, so kind, so dearly sweet, and I wasn’t there last saturday. And I could have answered across the week but didn’t, either! And again, I offer no excuses…I’m just so sorry. You’re in all rights to not reply, Peridot, or to not want to write to me. I guess if I was you I’d feel ignored and forgotten. But just know that it’s not the case, Peridot. You’re one of my dearest friends, and I would never ignore you just because. You’re important to me. I care about you, I really do. :’(

Again, I’m very sorry that I wasn’t there last weekend to reply to you. And now, I’m not sure I’m in any position to reply to you as if I hadn’t abandoned you, or like nothing happened. It feels…like arriving after the bad time has passed. Like I can’t help anymore and it’s senseless that I arrive and hasnjgjdfnd

OTL

I’m just so very sorry, dear Peridot. I offer no excuse and I have no way to make it up to you. I’m sorry :(

I’m…trying to answer this, but as I re-read it, the dear way you called me “my dear moonchild” touches so deep, so deep and nicely in my heart, it makes me feel even guiltier…a-aah…..(ಥ﹏ಥ)

Oh my gods, Peridot. You’re ALWAYS, always calling me the sweetest and dearest names I’ve ever been called in life, you always surprise me with the dear, incredibly sweet, and super loving names, and I always feel SO MUCH JOY, like, my heart gets all big and warm and it’s like a flower blooming and I feel SO PAMPERED AND SO LOVED AND APPRECIATED with the names you call me, how do you do that, aah, how do you put so much affection in a nickname I CAN’T HANDLE THESE QUANTITIES OF DEAR SWEETNESS AND I FEEL SO ASHAMED THAT I DIDN’T REPLY LAST WEEK, I FEEL SO GUILTY ABOUT IT ;A;

Also, Peridot, I do remind you that you don’t need to have anything “interesting” or important to say to just drop by my ask. It doesn’t matter how many asks you leave or if you just left one ten minutes ago, each and every ask I receive are important to me, and yours are also so dear, you do the opposite of troubling me. Reading you always feels like a treasure and I can’t have enough of it. So don’t worry about having sent this while there’s still your other ask there. You know I may take a while to reply, but I always do. Always do <3

Again, I’m not sure if you saw I replied to your asks from monday and tuesday when I was in physical pain, but as I said there, you’re no bother to me. Say all you want to say, anytime you want, doesn’t matter ifthere’s already another ask waiting there, I’ll receive it joyfully and will try to reply as soon as possible. I love hearing from you, and afterso long with no news from you, even more!!

Thank you so much for taking all the time and effort you take into writing to me. It really means a lot and I value and treasure it so much, you have n idea. I know you’ve been struggling the past months, so it only adds to how much it means that you write to me. Always so dear, always so sweet and kind. Always caring about me, aaah :’’(

Really, it’s real when I say that it doesn’t matter to me if you send me many asks. To me, that’s a treasure, hearing from you!! That you do something as dear as taking the time to write to me, aah, that’s already fantastic enough and I love it ;A;

And agian, you don’t need to have anything “important” to say. You could just say “hello” and I’d be SUPER HYPED AND REPLY AND TALK WITH YOU AND SOMETHING, AAAAH!!! Really, it doesn’t matter what you say, or how much. That you take the time and put the intention of saying hello makes me SUPER HYPED and happy and I’ll reply anyway. It’s your presence alone what makes it so nice, I don’t care if you don’t have anything to say, I’ll still be talking with you, and hence somehow with you, and that is enough! ;A;

GASPS

ALSO

MANGO MUFFINS? ASLKJFILADG JAILKFAKLDJG AND YOU GAVE ONE OF THEM TO ME, AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

*GLOMPS THE MUFFIN*

MUFFINS ARE THE BEST. AND IT’S A MUFFIN MADE BY MY DEAR FRIEND PERIDOT SO THAT’S EVEN BETTER KLASJFLADK JGALDKFJADLKG

NYOM

THANK YOOOOOOU!!! <3

Honestly, Peridot, I’m SO CURIOUS as to what your baking tastes like! You told me it’s something you enjoy doing and often do, so I bet that the real life version is even yummier and tastier than the virtual version. ONE DAY I MUST TRY THOSE REAL LIFE MUFFINS, OKAY, I NEED ME ONE OF THOSE, WHETHER IT’S MANGO OR CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA OR ANYTHING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

MUFFIN MUFFIN MUFFIN!!!

I LOVE MUFFINS! (☆▽☆)

Aoajsfgldajgald fjgkldgjdaijtelkj jfgkaldgjalkdjfadf

*is still hugged to its muffin*

PERIDOT YOU AMAZING CREATURE. THANK YOU FOR SHARING THE AMAZINGNESS WITH ME.

Did you family have some too? Or did you make muffins for you and me only? Did you enjoy yours? BAKING SOUNDS SO NICE AND IT’S SO AWESOME THAT YOU CAN DO THAT AND I’M SO EXCITED KLAJDKLAJG

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, PERIDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT

*SQUEEZES YOU*

PERIDOT, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I’VE MISSED YOU!!!!

I’m not going to pour out all my energy here because there’s still your other ask, and because that one’s longer, I think I’ll take my time answering it as you deserve, and I don’t want to keep you waiting and keep making you feel ignored hnhgnhfg, so Imma try to answer this quicker than I would have normally done!! Don’t worry, I’ll pour out the rest of HOW MUCH I WANT TO SQUEEZE YOU AND YELL AT YOU in the other ask!!! <3

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, PERIDOT.

Again, I’m so sorry I didn’t reply last weekend. You’re always so nice and so good to me, I’m sorry I can’t be as much of a good friend to you as you are to me. I feel so bad about it. OTL And what’s worse is that I know you’ll understand and tell me it’s okay, but really that’s just you being the phenomenal friend you are. I promise, promise, that I won’t leave you hanging anymore. I’ll try to answer even if I’m not home, even if it’s not the answer you deserve. 

N’AW, MY SWEET, SWEET SUNCHILD ;____________;

Thank you so much again for taking the time of writing to me, my dear friend. Thank you for being so nice and impossibly sweet and caring as you are ;___; Thank you for sharing all your yummy snacks with me, and thank you for the trust. Because I think that coming t me in one of those nights is sort of a demonstration of trust and I’m…feeling so bad still about it hansjfgdnkdaa jfadhfjdagadgkn

I’m so sorry :(

But anyways, my dear friend. I’ll be talking to you again in that other ask, and remember, it’s okay to drop by anytime you want!!

I hope you’ve been doing well, my dear Peridot. That you’ve been doing better about what you told me in the last ask and everything. I hope it’s been a good week for you, and I hope I never made you feel bad or anything…

And mostly, I hope that you’ve been able to sleep well. I’ve been thinking a lot about you when it’s bedtime in your timezone, hoping and wondering if you’re having a good night, and when I wake up I wonder if your sleep was restful and nice. 

And needless to say, I’ve also been trying to RADIATE SOME GOOD MAGICAL VIBES FOR YOU to try and make your sleep MUCH BETTER <3

Anyways, buddy, I’ll be hugging you more and yelling more at you in the other ask, and meanwhile answer to this with all my heart and affection, hoping that you feel how much I missed you, and how happy I am of seeing you around!!!

I’ll be RADIATING the MOST MAGICAL, STRONGEST, MOST POWERFUL, SQUISHIEST, FLUFFIEST, WARMIEST, MOST SPONGEY, MOST ADORABLE, LUCKIEST, HAPPIEST, MOST MOONLIGHT-POWERED, MOST INCREDIBLE, AND MOST HUGEST RACCOONIE VIBES FOR YOU, OKAY!?!?

HERE IS TO WISHING YOU HAVE BETTER NIGHTS AHEAD.

RESTFUL NIGHTS.

GOOD DREAMS.

MAY YOU FALL ASLEEP AT AN EARLY HOUR, AND MAY YOU REST NICELY AN DWELL.

MAY YOU DREAM OF RACCOONIES AND MUFFINS.

MAY YOU HAVE INCREDIBLE, RESTFUL, AND GREAT NIGHTS AHEAD OF YOU, MY DEAR SWEETIE PIE.

I’M CHARGING UP.

I’M-

ABOUT TO-

HNHNGHG-

ALL THE MOST POWERFUL MAGIC…

ALL

FOR

YOU

GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆.｡.:*☆

ALL THE MOST MAGICAL AND STRONGEST MOST POWERFUL MAGIC FOR YOU, WONDERFUL, DEAREST PERIDOT!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

*EXPLODES INTO A THOUSAND SNOWFLAKES*

*GLOMPS AND STAYS HUGGED TO YOUR HEAD, SNUGGLING IT*

HMMMMMMM, MY DEAR PERIDOT!!! ( ˙꒳​˙ )♡

I’ve missed you so much, and I hope I can get to answer most my personal asks soon so I can get to talking to you as frequently as always, my dear friend! I’ve missed you so much, it feels I haven’t talked to you in an eternity!! <3

I hope you feel my magic. It’s night for you already and soon bedtime, so I hope that my magic makes it in time. Mommy moon should be carrying most of it, so I hope it can veil your nice home for a restful, great night.

Talk to you soon, my dear Peridot! I hope you’re having a MOST BEAUTIFUL night and that you’ll rest nicely and good! Lots of the squishiest raccoon hugs for you!! I wuv ya! ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡