#the whole scene is acted out so beautifully because they are actually arguing. it's not just banter. raised voices and standing up and all

[cosmoseinfeld]

WILSON: you have to control everything. you like games because you can control them. life just happens and that scares the hell out of you. HOUSE: you think you can cure pain. WILSON: you think you can avoid pain!

[goingbuggy]

Good morrow my shuggy liege!

I was pondering if I should or shouldn’t ask but I hope it will not be too much bother to answer

It’s about one of your metas about the love and sacrifice Beautifully written I must say but reading through it again made me wondering how does buggy fall into the sacrifice themes of one piece?

It pains me to admit that once I’ve read 1082 I had many different feelings and one of them thought of buggy sacrifice as quite selfish in a way? Don’t get me wrong I’m sure came from him believing in shanks and the love he had for the boy! It just it felt in a way like he was burdening shanks with his own dreams

I’m happy he finally got the courage to follow his own path It’s beautiful and inspiring I just wonder if my interpretation is coming from anxiety or is actually true? Thank you and I’m sorry to sending this on anon

Hello, anon! Thank you for your kind words about my metas. Before I answer your question about where Buggy might fit into the wider themes of One Piece -- like sacrifice -- I think I should address your interpretation of 1082's events and compare them with mine.

I can understand why someone might conclude that Buggy's faith in Shanks is a burden of sorts, and ultimately selfish; after all, Shanks never asked for the weight of Buggy's expectations, and you could argue that Buggy's plan was to live out his dreams vicariously through Shanks. However, I think that there are some key points which entirely re-frame the situation.

Buggy didn't actually tell Shanks about what he did.

This isn't explicitly confirmed by the manga, but based on 1082's events and Shanks/Buggy's relationship timeline going forward, I can definitely make a strong case for their miscommunication in this regard.

Although we have Buggy's narration in 1082 to guide us through his flashback and enlighten us with his true feelings about Shanks, remember -- it's an internal monologue. The only thing Shanks knows is what Buggy tells him, and what Buggy tells him is not the full story. Look at this series of panels to see what I mean.

We have a very important contrast here -- Buggy's thoughts ("You're not the next generation's king?! I misjudged you, Shanks!" / "Don't you care about following in Captain Roger's footsteps?!"), versus what he actually says. ("You coward!" / "It's your fault I lost that treasure map!")

In classic Buggy fashion, we see him deflect from the truth; instead of explaining how much he believed in Shanks' potential, he brings up a petty grudge and insults Shanks out of disappointment, hurt, and anger/frustration. Nowhere do we see Buggy explicitly tell Shanks what/why he gave up. And this miscommunication is not only the heart of Buggy's sacrifice, but the exact reason why they split in the first place: Shanks did not tell Buggy what made him change his mind about going to Laughtale, and Buggy did not tell Shanks about his decision/dream.

I think this is key to understanding the way they navigate their interactions later down the line, in Marineford. Remember: Shanks believes that they split due to the whole map ordeal, which is not only a relatively lighthearted grudge to hold, but also very confusing from Shanks' perspective.

I love the curt answer he gives here, because it really reflects Shanks' limited understanding of what actually transpired between them that fateful day at Loguetown. Thus, it's also understandable why Shanks acts the way he does at Marineford. I highly doubt Shanks would be so casual if he knew Buggy's real reasons for parting ways. Hell, their split was so important to Shanks that he still remembers Buggy's gripe about the map 20+ years later -- and even uses the promise of one to draw Buggy back into rehashing things between them. (The anime expands on Shanks' confusion/limited understanding even more, but because we're dealing with the manga only, I'm not going to reference those added scenes.)

This interaction can seem quite confusing, but place it in the wider context I've just proposed, and it makes a lot more sense. Something fundamental has permanently shifted between them, but Shanks does not understand the gravity -- nor the real reason -- behind that change. And yet again, Buggy perpetuates this cycle of miscommunication by not telling him.

So, now that I've argued why I believe Buggy didn't tell Shanks about his true dream/decision to give up on said dream, why is it so important?

Well, this leads to my second point.

2. Buggy is a character primarily motivated by greed.

This statement does not need to be argued; it's as explicit as can be, because it has been well-established by Oda. In fact, it's very likely to be what people remember best about Buggy's character, in the midst of the massive narrative that One Piece has become. (I will touch upon this later, because this is exactly why I view Buggy's sacrifice as so impactful to the reader.)

Now, my last point:

3. Buggy is terrible at hiding his true intentions.

Buggy usually makes it quite obvious what he's hiding through blatant lies which hint to the truth, or even a direct slip of the tongue, like in Impel Down. This is partially for the sake of comedy/divulging necessary information to readers, but it's also a genuine aspect of his character which reinforces the comedy. Buggy's intentions are comically apparent to readers, so it's ridiculous to see his followers fall for his schemes.

These three points, in tandem, are exactly what makes 1082's reveal so impactful. Oda uproots everything we thought we knew about Buggy's character in order to give us the missing puzzle piece -- the reason why he is the way he is. This exact decision.

Buggy is a character motivated by greed, but he gave up on his dream, a pillar of freedom and existence in the One Piece world. He is self-absorbed, and yet he de-centered himself from the narrative. And for who, of all people? Shanks, the very man he claimed to despise in his first introduction. Are you starting to see the groundwork Oda's laying down here?

Buggy is notoriously bad at hiding the truth when he lies, and yet readers are blindsided by this reveal, over a thousand chapters after his first appearance. He kept it a secret, not just from Shanks, but from us. 1082 subverted our expectations and further developed Buggy's character in the process. It's a great display of what I love most about Oda's writing.

Before 1082, it would be difficult to claim where Buggy lies in One Piece's themes of sacrifice or dreams. But post-1082, it's a lot clearer. Oda has shown us that Shanks is just as important to Buggy as Buggy is to Shanks, and he's done it in the most effective way for a greedy character: by showing us that even Buggy is capable of sacrifice, when it's for someone he cares about. And what did he give up? His dream -- one of the most important things people have in One Piece.

Sure, it's possible to dismiss Buggy's decision as selfish, but remember: he didn't tell Shanks. He didn't expect anything in return. In a way, he has actually spared Shanks from feeling burdened; Shanks doesn't know the truth, and so he has no opportunity to feel guilt or responsibility for Buggy's decision. For a character like Shanks, who is defined by responsibility, this is also massively significant. Buggy's choice is not Shanks' fault, and by deflecting to trivial matters like the map, Buggy has -- intentionally or not -- lifted a possible weight from Shanks' shoulders. Shanks still feels the loss of their relationship, but instead of potential guilt, there is confusion and miscommunication.

So, no, I don't view Buggy's sacrifice as selfish. He did what he did because he truly believed in Shanks. He was willing to let Shanks become king and live out his dream, all without burdening Shanks with the truth. It's the antithesis of everything we've known about Buggy up until this point -- a decision without his greed, egomania, and overt schemes at the forefront. And if that's not a selfless act from Buggy, then I don't know what is.

[cosmicjoke]

Not to keep going on about this, but one thing I think is pretty obvious in AoT is that no side is framed as the good or bad side. The entire point of the story is to show the tragedy of war and persecution, and where it leads. It isn't a question of who's good or bad, right or wrong, it's an examination of the tragedy of anyone ever having to be put in a position of fighting back in the first place. I even made a post specifically about this not long ago, here:https://www.tumblr.com/cosmicjoke/743927719421673472/one-tactic-that-some-eren-fan-once-tried-to-argue?source=share .

So despite what some are trying to say about mine and others statements regarding Levi's goodness as being a justification of Levi's actions because he's on the side of Paradis, what we're actually doing is justifying his actions because, in the context of any, given scene in which he commits acts of violence, they ARE justifiable. His life or the lives of others are being threatened, therefore, it's justifiable for him to act in defense of himself and others. It's got nothing to do with who's ideologically good or bad, who's right or wrong, or who's on what side. It's a matter of practicality. If someone is threatening you or others, you're justified in using lethal force to stop them. That's why police officers and regular citizens are allowed to shoot people who pose a threat to them and others and they won't be prosecuted under the law for doing so. Whether Levi was from Paradis or Marley, if all things were the same in terms of circumstance when he's shown killing, we would continue to call his actions justifiable because it's got to do with his specific situation, not with who's side he's on.

It's about individual assessment of a person's actions and the situation that person finds themselves in. Levi's killing has nothing to do with ideology or philosophical belief. It has to do with the practical question of survival. If I don't kill this person, they're going to kill me or someone else. It's a tragedy, but it's also a reality. That's why I've said again and again that killing is always a tragedy, but it's not always wrong. Of course it's tragic that anyone has to die, but sometimes they DO have to die in order for others to live. That's an inescapable reality that has nothing to do with "sides" of a conflict or ideological belief.

Some people want to extrapolate that statement out to what eventually happens in the story with Eren and the Rumbling, but Eren's admission that he enacted the Rumbling to realize his own, selfish idea of freedom, and not to save anyone, completely undercuts that argument. Eren didn't try to genocide the whole world because he thought it was necessary to save the lives of anyone, or for any philosophical belief in the greater good, he did it because he wanted to.

The Rumbling, therefore, didn't happen because Eren was taught the philosophy of kill or be killed. It happened because Marley persecuted the Eldian's to such an extreme extent, that it created a faction of extremist nationalists, which eventually lead to a complete madman like Eren coming into a power he never should have had. The story doesn't condemn killing in and of itself, or the concept of self-defense. It doesn't try to persuade us of the rightness or wrongness of those things on the basis of moral grounds. I think AoT itself demonstrates beautifully overall, and particularly with Levi during the Uprising arc, with Jean and Mikasa's judgmental condemnation of his actions being thrown back in their faces when soon after they're placed in the same position of having to kill in order to survive and protect one another, that we shouldn't judge anyone without first understanding the context and circumstances behind their actions. To not judge or condemn anyone until you have a better understanding of the circumstances surrounding their behavior. AoT shows us over and over again how important context is, and again, it trusts the reader to use that context to make fair assessments about who's right and who's wrong in any, given scenario.

You can't just generalize everyone's actions as right or wrong based on the action itself. The circumstances surrounding it, and the person's attitude and intent in taking any, given action, are necessary to acknowledge and examine in making an accurate assessment in that regard.

So rather than AoT condemning the use of violence or violence in itself, what it actually condemns is, ironically enough, generalized and assumptive perceptions of who and what is good or bad, right or wrong, because it's those things which lead to persecution, oppression, atrocities and war, which in turn leads to untold destruction. It's an anti-war story, and an anti-prejudice story. It doesn't try to moralize to anyone about the evil's of killing or violence. It in fact acknowledges those things as a part of the natural order, as a part of the human condition. Even in showing the horrific outcome of persecution, it never frames any, individual characters actions or person as definitively right or wrong. It lets the reader come to their own conclusions on that front. It trusts the reader/viewer to be able to tell the difference between unjustified murder vs justifiable self-defense, all while acknowledging the tragedy inherent to the need for self-defense at all.

Eren didn't enact the Rumbling because he was taught it was justifiable to kill in self-defense or defense of others, which is what I think some people are trying to imply. That Eren being taught that is what lead to him wiping out 80% of the planet's population, and so that's supposed to be a condemnation of the act of killing in self-defense. But it's not. If the story wanted to send that message, it never would have made such a strong point of emphasizing the real reason Eren did what he did, which, like I said before, wasn't self-defense or defense of others, but because he wanted to see the world as it was in Armin's books. Eren knew what he was doing was wrong. He knew it wasn't justified. It had nothing to do with fighting back, something he admits both to himself and others. And so it wasn't Eren learning from Levi's example, or anyone else' example, that lead him down that road. It was just his own nature, and it was Marley's persecution and oppression and warmongering that created a scenario in which someone with Eren's nature obtained the power to do what he already always wanted to from the start .

Basically, the story is telling us that if you don't want to be killed, you shouldn't give anyone a reason to kill you. Don't persecute people, don't oppress people, don't threaten people, don't seek out revenge on people for something someone else did, don't punish people for something they didn't do, don't engage in generational guilt or blame, don't make assumptions about people, don't condemn anyone until you understand the context of their actions, etc, etc... If the story condemns anything, it's that, because it's those sorts of choices which lead to the circumstances that end in war and mass violence. The story shows us what happens when you put someone in a corner and leave them no choice but to fight back. Rather than being critical of violence alone, what it's actually critical of is creating the circumstances in which violence becomes a necessity at all.

[toddhewitt]

do we think “where else would you wake up in the morning and matter” actually struck a nerve with silver?

from what i’ve seen, the majority interprets his reaction as genuine, and i do like this interpretation because it adds a double meaning to the scene, but i don’t think it’s unquestionable.

slightly paraphrasing and expanding on the tags i once put under a gifset of that scene: “silver knows he’s gonna get his share of the gold, but to do that he has to act as though he thinks he won’t be getting it. to be believable, he gets angry with flint (not completely falsely; and still for the reason that flint won’t put the gold first), and then flint needs to convince him that silver needs to stay on the crew. but here’s the thing - silver also needs flint to need to convince him, so that silver can have a reason to stay on the crew that would be convincing to flint (it’s necessary that he stays on the crew so it won’t be suspicious that both he and the gold are gone at the same time). and then flint says ’you walk out on this and where the fuck are you going’ and silver looks stricken - and it’s EXACTLY the result that silver needed. he needed flint to provide a reason for him to stay so he could continue playing his role, and his reaction to it just might be a false one and it just might be a true one.”

if silver isn’t truly affected by those words then the look on his face is just another mask, and it doesn’t have its double meaning, and i love the possibility of the double meaning. on the other hand, as he proves in the rest of this episode and in general, he’s definitely capable of looking like it affected him while it didn’t really, and i can’t find much evidence that “mattering” is something silver pays any mind to. personally i find it fitting if he doesn’t, or at least didn’t up until that point, care for it.

i expect i might see a point being made about silver sacrificing his leg for the crew but that’s another reading that isn’t unquestionable - personally i’d argue that he didn’t do it for the crew (certainly not solely and imo not even primarily, possibly not at all). that’s a whole other discussion i could expand on but it’s not exactly the topic here so i’ll say that the gist of it is that silver obviously noticed vane’s guy’s keys are missing and knew the crew would come to save him, meaning he only had to stall until they did; plus, he couldn’t betray them because if he did and then they got free and realized his betrayal he’d be as good as dead.

looking for other occurrences of silver interacting with the topic of “mattering”, the final episodes give us something interesting: there’s silver claiming (and to me, his belief seems genuine) that he has no story and that his past doesn’t matter; on the other hand there’s flint predicting his “casting about in the dark for some proof that you mattered”, and while we don’t have a lot of evidence of the effect this would have on silver, it is very heavily implied by both the show and possibly treasure island that it would be effective.

besides those, i can’t really recall any other instances where mattering was something silver pays any mind to, but i might be missing something. and if this is truly all the evidence, it’s not really enough to judge either way.

another way i like looking at it is that in their argument in 2.07, flint created the notion that “mattering” should... well… matter, in silver’s mind. this is mostly supported by the fact that by all appearances (though appearances are not the whole story of course) it wasn’t something silver cared for before this conversation. more than that, i adore the thought that flint didn’t create that idea in him in their argument in 2.07 but rather in their final conversation in 4.10. i base both of these readings on the fact that the most notable instances where silver does seem to care about it are when flint is the one who claims so. it also beautifully matches silver’s belief that flint conjures realities, and the whole deal of silver not having a story before flint, silver seemingly not having existed before the start of the show.

it just seems odd to me to treat the assumption that he cares about it as a given, as silver’s cold practicality is one of the most important aspects of his characterization, especially considering the way it contrasts flint. i acknowledge that another important aspect of it is that he contains multitudes and inner contradictions, so it might be that he cares about “mattering” despite the lack of evidence of it, but even so, i believe that’s not the whole truth of it.

it’s possible there isn’t one clear answer here - maybe it’s one of those cases where the story allows for more freedom of interpretation as it doesn’t point strongly to a single reading. i’m just curious to understand why the common reading is that it must be important to him, even if the reasons are as simple as that it’s narratively satisfying or that silver’s manipulation of flint worked too well on the audience.

[rick-ety]

I know you like the tsp but what game(s) do you think is the best ever made? Curious (it’s fine if it’s tsp)

Actually, I hyperfixate on tsp but the games that had a severe impact on my life and my mind are Doki Doki Literature Club and Your Turn to Die. GET READY FOR THE CRAZIEST RANT EVER GAH (major spoilers for both below btw)

You should know why I like ddlc, lmao it’s the most beautifully crafted game I think I’ve ever seen in my life. The stories behind the characters, how all four aren’t just leveled down to stereotypes like you’d expect and have their own complex motives and beliefs. I find Monika and Natsuki especially fascinating. Monika obviously because of her dealing with being trapped in a purgatory where she’ll always be alone, her friends aren’t real and there is no escape. The one person she feels can understand her, she’ll never be able to reach. Natsuki has been my favorite character ever since I first watched the play through of the game when I was 9 or something, but my reasons have changed over the course of all these years. Her character is my favorite, and her story especially with the ddlc+ release is amazing. She’s constantly in defense mode in order to protect herself, having to deal with her situation at home and her toxic friends. Her only save haven is the literature club, and in act 2 when Monika tries to recruit more members we find out that Natsuki values her friendships and finds safety with just these four people. During the just Monika scene in act 2 when you read what Natsuki wrote I got goosebumps reading her poem. Her cry for help and her concerns for yuri’s mental health seemed so real through how they wrote her poem. In fact, I think she’s the strongest of the group, albeit the most immature and reckless at first glance she’s the only one who doesn’t really succumb to Monika’s antics. Both Yuri and sayori died to their own minds, and there were tons of ways to kill Natsuki off as well. Yet she survived. Technically, at least (lmao). Yuri had a suspicion toward Monika, but they chose to lead that into the climax of her obsession for MC. Natsuki seems to be the only one who decided to step in because she *knew* something was wrong. Idek why I’m talking about Natsuki right now this is about the game but it has BEAUTIFUL character writing and story and mechanics and I love it with my heart and soul. I could play that game over and over again for the rest of time and never get sick of it. I’m not joking.

Yttd is just as good, maybe even better for completely different reasons. I think what made me love this the most is the character death. In lots of series and games when a character dies, it shoves someone into an arc and writes a chapter and then everyone moves on. Yttd is so realistic and impactful with their deaths, when Joe dies you literally get a mechanic in game where you can’t think about him too much or else you’ll go crazy from grief. The death scenes are so unique too, especially in the first chapter. Sara having to carry the guilt of “prolonging and causing” her friends deaths is persistent through the story, and everyone understands when she needs support people to trust. Keiji’s story and his relationship with sara makes the entire game even more important to me. The whole game really emphasizes the bonds between everyone and learning to cope with the death of loved ones. To help each other feel safe, to help each other calm down and trust each other, to help each other live. The pain in everyone’s eyes every time they have to vote someone to die. The fact that they argue for hours and try to bend the rules of the entire game’s reality to get just one more hour for Sou to be alive. The mechanic of being able to choose who lives and who dies is something I’ve never seen before, ESPECIALLY in that style of game. Your choices matter. Every single one. And they WILL have consequences. Game over scenes or selfish incorrect choices don’t just flash a title on your screen and say retry. You have to watch as you crumble to the floor in disbelief, knowing you failed everyone as you watch them die one by one. This game isn’t even completed yet and I’m CRAZY over it oh my god I never expected ANY of these plot twists and it’s beautiful and I love it. The day the next chapter comes out is the day I rejoice so hard I pass out from exhaustion. ANYWAYS I AM SUCH A YAPPER BUT OMG ddlc and yttd great games check them out

[gloriousmonsters]

next morning pickman’s model (cabinet of curiosities ep) review

good

- ben barnes really seemed to be doing his best i think. of course it’s hard to tell for sure but the weird moments he has seemed more to do with the script and however the fuck he was being directed than personal acting flaws. still don’t think he was the right man for the role but yknow. gold You Tried sticker

- crispin glover was kind of in the same bucket. not the right man for Pickman, not the best performance ever and they barely gave him three scenes altogether, but he seemed to be doing the best he could with what he had, and he was somewhat entertaining to watch

- that one moment where thurber sees one of pickman’s sketches for the first time and does a weird spasmodic hand flex while his hand is still dripping from the sink actually made me hope that the episode was going to be way hornier and weirder than it wound up being

(and bad is under the cut because it’s. Far, far longer :))))

b a d

- the way it was trying to be every recognizable lovecraft story so hard???? the incredibly awkward comment that pickman is a ‘wet fish’ who comes from ‘old new england’ blood and the random sea creatures popping up, the yog-sothoth references and shub-niggurath imagery, the sudden references to what I can only assume is cthulhu at the end (because we aren’t given any other explanation!!!), the switch of the setting to Miskatonic in Arkham for the first bit instead of the whole thing being set in an art club in Boston--Pickman’s Model was one of Lovecraft’s most effective semi-standalone stories! make a couple references if you like but don’t wreck it because you want it to be a Lovecraft™ mishmash instead of a good horror story!

- fuck i feel like we could argue it shouts out Medusa’s Coil, the way it adds an Evil Depraved Witch-Woman when it really didn’t fucking need to 🙃 and speaking of, love that the already ‘we should treat this reeeeeally carefully and think about it hard’ element in the original story of ‘the creature race steals human children sometimes to add to their numbers’ is replaced by ‘the evil beings and evil crazy women associated with them EAT BABIES, let’s show an art of long-nosed ugly witches giving a baby to a monster’ 🙃🙃

- ‘well the original story’s horror derived from how clear and realistic the pictures of horror were (which beautifully led to the reveal that pickman is drawing from life when he draws malevolent inhuman beasties)... let’s throw out that ‘pickman draws from life’ setup by having him draw a normal model with two arms and rotting flesh in scene one, make a lot of the sketches and smaller pieces more spooky and fantastical looking, and whenever we have a big painted piece--well, art can’t scare people on its own! we can’t trust the actors to carry this! quick, shake the art really hard in front of the camera, animate bits, and play really loud child crying and monster growling sound effects over it. perfect.’

- ‘what do you mean it’s about doghuman fairy-ghouls living under boston and eating corpses? that doesn’t sound scary!! it’s about a depraved witch-woman--wait no, it’s about big ol’ monsters that eat babies! both? idk, we don’t have time to really connect the two properly, throw in some witch imagery, we have to get to the bit where pickman’s art survives a fire with no explanation and suddenly starts converting people who look at it to self-mutiliation, fantastical Insanity, and Cthulhu worship. we’re so good at creating coherent horror narratives’

- ‘i see the original story is somewhat homoerotic. well, that won’t do. give thurber a girlfriend, have him be repulsed by pickman 5 minutes into their acquaintanceship, then give him a wife and son and make the horror all about the perfect little hetero family setup being threatened. perfect! none of that nasty ‘horror and tragedy derived from a devastating revelation about someone you were not only a close friend too, but deeply admired the art of and were utterly dazzled by’

- ‘of course this doesn’t mean we’ll have developed female characters! just an Evil Witch-Woman, a Generic Girlfriend, and later a Perfect Little Wife.’

- I ranted about this in my first tags but this episode was just a badly made story. The brief ‘happy normalcy’ scenes (which are always the painfully heterosexual ones :)))))) are awkward as hell and jar against the other scenes, not in a ‘oh no good things but now bad things’ way but in a ‘is the director aware of how a tonal shift properly works?’ way. Things will happen where the payoff kind of matters and then we just don’t see it. The writing is mediocre at best; when it cribs a few lines from the original story, they now don’t really make sense in context, and the writer’s seen fit to only use the first half of some lines and chop of the second, more interesting half. Ben Barnes goes to Lovecraft Madness stage 4 after one encounter with a scawy picture and then I guess. Gets over it??? there’s a timeskip of 17 years with no note on whether anything’s happened during that time. He then nearly stabs himself in the forehead when looking at another scawy picture and is dissuaded by someone saying ‘sup?’ to him. everyone else looking at the pics either doesn’t react except with ‘ew’ or they go completely Fake Fantasy Mad. why is the protagonist different????? who the fuck knows!

- all in all the writer and director clearly didn’t understand the actual horror of Pickman’s Model or like, care about adapting the story, and didn’t have the chops to make something different but good, and elided an ounce of racism to include a bucket of antisemitism and make it more homophobic and sexist, so my overall conclusion is kind of like that Persuasion review. everyone should be in jail for just a little bit to think about what they’ve done

[f3296]

Hi I just feel like I need to ramble and maybe some one else out there feels the same way. So in the AOT I’m not all that big on ships just because shipping really isn’t my thing but I do enjoy it to an extent. I consider myself to be a multi shipper because again the relationships in AOT are so complex and I love all the characters and their dynamics. My biggest “ship” would be Eurihan just because that trio to me is all sorts of fun and I love their dynamic.

But with that being said, I find myself to be drifting farther and farther away from the Eruri aspect just because as I continue to reread the manga and pay attention to the themes of the story canonically speaking I don’t actually see any “romance” between them. The Fannon concepts of Eruri are fun and beautifully tragic with the fan arts and stories especially in modern AU. They are a very attractive couple and I fully understand the hype but canonically speaking I just don’t see it anymore. I love their dynamic as a whole and brings such a complex look to both Levi and Erwins character that their friendship is something to admire.

And with that being said I feel their complexity of characters and their story gets lost within the fandom. I think the term that is used is “shipping goggles” when canon stuff of the original story gets lost or replaced for the sake of the ship. Which in this case I feel happens a lot in Eruri specifically.

Now I really don’t want people to feel I am bashing Eruri. I’m obviously a fan with my own fan art and my interactions with mutuals so please no one take offense. This is just a quirk I have in every fandom when canon material gets lost for the sake of a ship.

Specifically with Levi.

Now I understand my biases consider Levi is my favorite character and I truly Kin him. But when I watch edits or read DJs or even just scrolling through things like tumblr or Twitter I find myself avoiding the Eruri tags because I get so frustrated when all I see if Levi’s entire character being based around Erwin. The concept that Levi is only alive to fulfill Erwins promise or he only fights for Erwin and completely derailing his character to be centered around Erwin is frustrating.

Levi fights for all the scouts since the very beginning. When else first meet him and he promises the dying scout he would eradicate the Titans, this is a shared dream the scouts had and has said he will do what he can for All of them. Not just Erwin.

Now this isn’t to disregard Erwins importance to Levi. Erwin gave him a purpose to live, he was his friend and trusted comrade and felt he was the best for humanity. Erwin is important to Levi no one is saying other wise. He just isn’t the center of Levi’s world.

Levi trusted Erwin because he saw something bigger than himself and Levi wanted to help Erwin get there because Levi himself if a very loving and selfless character. This I find to be so beautiful of Levi’s (and mikasas) character.

When Levi learns the truth behind Erwins actions and his selfish reasons to fight for humanity was for the sake of seeing in the basement really sent Levi into turmoil. (I feel this is WITs fault for not expressing this properly in the anime) this is why he continued to pester and push Erwin to know his motives past the basement, because Levi wanted to believe he was this selfless leader he had been finessed into believing he was (because we can’t forget canonically speaking Erwin is a con man and enjoys gambling which makes him and great leader)

Levi tells Erwin to die so he would continue to go down with the facade he was a selfless leader and to continue to live up to the expectation. Levi accepted this fault of Erwin just as he had accepted the faults of all his comrades and their selfish actions.

Levi was canonically devoted to Erwin, but not in the romantic way.

Erwin also never expressed a “interest” in Levi in that matter outside of their friendship and Levi’s abilities. It also should keep in mind that Erwin was ultimately in love with Marie, and chose not to have a family and a wife (which he actually wanted) to avoid having a widow. We can head cannon all day long about how “he realized in his last moments” or “behind the scenes” or interpreting smart press stories a certain way to fit the narrative but it’s just important to remember the difference between cannon material and your own HCs.

Now I know a lot of people will read this and think “wow a levihan shipper wrote this” and you would be right I also ship levihan as well. And they are also not cannon in a relationship as well but the romantic implications for them specifically cannot be ignored because you don’t like them. Levi and Hange are canonically best friends. They are known as the “abnormals” of the scouts. They know each other the best. Their relationship is so complex it cannot be defined as a friendship. (Even Moblit admits he doesn’t have a bond with Hange like Levi does) and it’s okay if you just see them as friends, and I honestly don’t blame a lot of people who do considering WIT really bit the bullet with missing key Levi and Hange moments to better fit their dynamic (I’ve seen people say they aren’t even good friends and that breaks my heart they are besties )

And honestly why wouldn’t you want to ship levihan? This ship in my opinion is the least problematic with the least controversy to it. It’s comforting and sweet and gives a sense of love and family. It’s literally a best friends-> lovers trope. Their friendship is what makes this ship in my opinion so pure and honestly why I fall in love with it more everyday.

And I know some will say “what about Moblit?” And honestly, it bothers me how much he is used to argue levihan because I ultimately feel his character also gets dumbed down as a default for Hange just for shipping and it bothers me too.

*and honestly guys Hange and Moblit isn’t even that great in a ship since considering Moblit became an anxious alcoholic trying to take care of Hange and Hange would get so caught up with their work they wouldn’t even notice. NOTE: they obviously cared for each other as comrades and Moblit felt Hange was needed for humanities survival and cared for them obviously but just my opinion I don’t see that ship working in my opinion.

But in reality guys, I never saw any of these characters “getting together” because they’re soldiers. Their hearts were dedicated to the cause of saving humanity first so that’s the beauty of AOT and the ambiguity of the characters relationships with one another because ultimately they all have attributes to love and benefit each other. Even with the forest scene and the plane for Levi and Hange, I never expected A “happy ending” for them in the sense of platonic or romantic because that doesn’t fit their canon narratives. Levi was destined to be the last soldier standing and brings the complexity of being the perfect soldier with a human heart.

*though the implication of romantic feelings never being acted on were there because they indeed paralleled with eren and mikasa

Levi’s literally means “attached” he attaches himself to the people he cares about and dedicated his strength and ability to help others gain their hopes and dreams.

Erwin tragically lost his humanity to become the devil for the sake of humanity which ultimately left him fruitless to his venture.

Hange taking on the burden of making the tough decisions and shouldering the weight of the deaths of the soldiers and Erwins legacy left them feeling loss and useless until their sacrifice.

All these characters have such complexity to them, they are all deeper than their fannon ship and should be appreciated and the narrative shouldn’t be shifted for the sake of a ship.

Levi didn’t fight to the end for just Erwin he did it for all of them.

So again, sorry for my rambles and I hope there will be those who read this and understand where I am coming from with this and understand though I will continue to ship all three, it still makes me sad I feel I can’t interact with some without them destroying entire characters for the sake of the ship.

So again love ships not ship wars. That’s the fun part when ships aren’t cannon you can just mix and match whenever you feel like it ❤️❤️

[shania-twain]

What’s your top 5 favorite Rollisi moments?

I apologize, as this ask was sent days ago and I'm just now getting around to it because ya know, life, and because I took my sweet time thinking over these scenes.

It's a long one, under the cut!

1. The Scene (the kiss). This kiss has everything. It’s unexpected yet long overdue. It’s tender, it’s loving. There’s swaying. There’s standing on tip toes to reach Tol and there’s bending down to reach Smol. There’s water, city lights, a romantic atmosphere. There's tears (barely) but it's an excuse to touch faces! There's cheek caressing, there's longing, lingering stares, there's hesitance in transitioning from best friends to lovers. Light banter, nervous laughter. THE UNFINISHED SPEECH. I know I'm all over the place with this but SO ARE MY FEELINGS. So much has led up to this moment and I must say, the payoff was excellent. Perfect first kiss.

2. The Fight. Dare I name the one fight they got in that caused them to be labeled “toxic” by haters? I do dare. Why, one may ask? *shakes out piece of paper* Though they are fueled by their lack of sleep and unsaid feelings for each other at the time, there’s still some bite to Amanda’s bark on her part. She’s clearly upset over him leaving her, feels abandoned. Perhaps this is a feeling she’s used to from her own family trauma, but Carisi leaving the precinct particularly hurt not only because she has strong feelings for him at this point, but because he was the only one that ever was there for her in a way no one else was. I think she came to rely on him more than she may have even realized and that all spilled out in that small fight in the squad room. And he was so taken aback, obviously thought she was happy for him but of course she’s going to tell him she is because she doesn’t want to hurt him. The fight is so natural, happens unexpectedly but develops organically. The main reason it’s my number two? Giddish and Scanavino’s best acting, imo. And I’ve only seen the actual scene about three times because it makes me semi uncomfortable. It’s uncomfortable watching people argue. It was so intimate and clearly turned personal, it almost feels wrong to be watching them go at it (in a bad way. Heh). But I think that’s a testament to the acting! A+++ scene! I dream of writing a fight scene as well as this one!

3. The Hospital. Truly, this episode was packed with Rollisi moments from start to finish. I love every moment we get with them individually (hand grab, anyone? Or when he makes her LAUGH at such an emotional moment in the hospital. I could go on about this scene in detail but I’ll stop). My favorite moment of the episode is actually the last scene of them. After Rollins gets rid of her father's (ex) wife, she’s so proud of herself for doing what she feels is right and that reflects in her face when she smiles at Carisi. It’s so simple and subtle, but there’s so much love in that look. Kelli is a master at giving these loving looks and perfect expressions. It’s also a wonderful contrast to how she used to look at Carisi in the beginning - from season 16, when she thought he was a bit of a goof. Now she looks at him like he hung the got damn moon. We don't get to see Carisi's face here, but I imagine he's looking quite amused at her, maybe even charmed by her a little bit. I'm also obsessed with the way Amanda's eyelashes flutter down when he moves closer to her. Flirting over Amanda's bedridden father? The ✨romance!✨ Swoon!

4. The Elevator. This used to be number one for me, until we got the goodness in season 22. There’s something very special about this hug. It’s not even a hug, really. It’s clinging, desperate, need that one particular person and only this person kind of thing. It’s, of course, devastating that Rollins had to go through the whole thing with Bucci and possibly leaving her children without a mother, but like I said, something special about the way this led to letting the audience see who she really trusts as she let’s herself fall apart and into Carisi’s arms. Sure, she trusts her squad, but she also wants them to know she’s ok at all times. Even tells her own therapist this once or twice. She even *begins* to tell Carisi she’s fine, her usual response when asked if she’s alright, but then the second he says her name, it’s like a switch is flicked and she’s sobbing into him. DON’T THINK I FORGOT ABOUT SCANAVINO. He’s always there when she needs it. He’s patient with her, kind, takes her into him with absolutely no hesitation. This scene happens episodes after their fight in the squad room. It’s clear there is no more lingering tension between them in the elevator scene. It’s the way he says “I got you” not once but TWICE, as if he needs her to hear it. Needs to make sure she understands that he’s there not just in the moment, but he’s got her always. No matter what happens between them or with their jobs — and this comes back around in his wedding speech, as well. 🤧 But also, fave part of that scene? When he holds her tighter, leans his head against hers many times, and then closes his eyes. Cannot stand to hear her sobs, or see her in any kind of pain. Oh, my heart. My heaaaaaaart.

5. Rain check. Lots of great acting here. Is anyone surprised? No, but there’s a bit of a range of emotions in this particular scene and it’s acted so beautifully, I could write a whole paper. I’ll try and keep it brief (ha, yeah right). I don’t think Amanda would ever have a problem getting a man anytime anywhere, but I do think it was a big deal for her to ask this man out. I think maybe her intentions at the time may have been less than trying for a relationship, but she was open to trying something with him. I also think it was a big deal because it felt very planned. The outfit felt planned, the way she made him laugh, the hair toss an attempt to flirt. Though she also had this vulnerability about her that only exists with him. She’s putting herself out there, she’s saying that she’s willing to try and I think that is a big step for her, even if she was only open to a FWB situation (that totally 100% wouldn’t have worked bc *feelings*). Carisi, however, rejects her. You can see in his face that he’s so reluctant to do this but he does. Obviously, he’s had feelings for the woman for so long but is protecting himself. Almost like he knows she may think she’s ready to try something with him, but he also knew it wasn’t their time yet. Also, after he tells her he can’t, the immediate disappointment Amanda has? Heart-wrenching, tbh. She looks so upset and gets off from sitting on the edge of his desk so fast. Like. BABYYYYY.

Honorable Mentions: Threats! I’m kind of cheating here, but there’s nothing like an OTP that will kill for the other. I’m -of course- talking about Carisi’s “if Rollins gets shot over this, I’m gonna take ALL of them out.” And also Amanda’s message to Mesner: “if you go after Counselor Carisi or anyone in my family again, it will be your last day on earth. I’ll kill you myself.” Ooh, there’s something so secks see about being violently protective over your significant other. I don’t condone it irl, but let me have the ✨drama✨on tv.

Thank you for this question! I had fun going over some great scenes!

[iron--spider]

I woke up at 3am yesterday to watch The Devil All the Time and I’ve been thinking about it since. I’m gonna put my thoughts and feelings and a review of sorts behind the cut, because I am gonna talk about it freely, so there will be spoilers! So don’t click if you don’t wanna see. I’ll also be discussing the content of the film and I know that might bother people, so that stuff is in here, too! And it’ll be really long because you know I can’t shut up.

So, I loved it. I loved it loved it loved it. I read the book a long time ago when I first found out Tom was gonna be in it, and the only problem I had with the book was that the POVs would change in the middle of a paragraph lmao, but other than that I thought it was pretty perfect. I knew the movie was gonna be pretty brutal, because the book is brutal, so I was prepared.

-BUT I think the critics HIGHLY HIGHLY exaggerated how bad the content was. Like, seriously, they acted as if this was gonna be a Saw movie. I was preparing for blatant, horrific gore, but it didn’t live up to their dramatics at all. There’s blood and nasty situations, but every single episode of Game of Thrones is worse than this movie, as are most episodes of any crime drama on a paid network. I actually thought they were super, super tactful of all their horrific shit. The dog death was off screen and the shot of the body (described by the critics as literally traumatic) was so quick (enough to shut your eyes) and in the dark. I also argue that particular moment is extremely important for Arvin’s journey, because it’s the moment he truly turns on his father and turns on religion entirely, and he carries it with him his whole life (it’s what he flashes back to when he says “I know what my daddy did” because it’s the marker of all Willard’s mistakes) and it winds up being one of the last things he does before he leaves everything behind. Burying Jack’s bones. So, like, I despise dog death or any animal death in my entertainment, but it’s important here and handled well. And all the worst death scenes are either extremely fast (Helen’s and Gary Matthew’s) or shown in negative (all the photos). I think Bodecker’s headshot with Bobo is probably the worst and is also pretty quick. I don’t know if this means I’m a jaded bitch, but God the way they were all whining and crying, I thought it’d be a million times worse. It could have been, with the book’s descriptions, so it was actually pretty tame. Lenora’s death affected me the most and they cut away from that, too. I guess it’ll still bother some people, but there are many, many mainstream things that are far more violent and gory than this was.

-I thought it was a beautiful movie. I never mind films that are slightly slower but I love ones that use their time to lay things out and really show us what’s going on, build the ambiance and the relationships. I loved the narration (which I was worried about), and it really made me feel like we were visiting a moment in time that was important. Like something that was written and should be learned about. Rumors in a town you’re passing through. The ghosts of past trauma and transgressions looming over everyone that’s left.

-I liked the changes they made with Roy and Theodore because I thought that storyline kinda meandered in the book and I’m glad that Roy was actually gone the whole time and not just neglecting to come back to Lenora.

-The only real complaints I can make, I’ll get out of the way here: I wanted a little bit more time with Carl and Sandy. Carl was really creepy, but he could have been much creepier. In the book he was the one looking at the pictures constantly, Not Sandy, and that really showed that he was the one with the sickness, the one pushing them forward and orchestrating it all. I thought they did well with showing how Sandy deteriorated in her efforts with him through the years, but I would have liked to see a bit more of their personal lives together and her fear of him and her genuine feelings about what they’re doing, because the book goes into that a lot more. I also wasn’t a fan of Lee finding the picture early and knowing some about what they were doing, because I liked how it was a surprise to him in the book and yet he still did all he could to cover it up. And lastly, in the book there’s a scene with Arvin after he kills Sandy and Carl where he’s in a motel and he takes like 18 showers because he can’t get the grime of what he’s done off of him, and he looks at the picture and has a nightmare about killing Sandy, and I really would have loved if they’d kept it in. It would have been another ‘acting’ moment for Tom, and it would have been nice for us to see his direct trauma and reaction to everything that’s piling on top of him.

-BUT that’s it. I loved pretty much every single other thing and decision that they made. The cinematography was TOP NOTCH. You could tell they filmed on 35mm film, you could see the grain, and it really, really added to it. Antonio Campos is a very skilled director and I trusted him at the helm of this story. Everything looked so authentic, all the sets and the costumes. The soundtrack and score were AMAZING and enhanced the film. Technically it was just perfect in every regard to me.

-Acting! Acting! God this was like...a massive testament to the casting department and the talent of these people. Everyone was on their A game. Bill Skarsgård has been on my radar since Castle Rock (which I recommend to everybody, both seasons) and he was so natural and great in this role. Haley Bennet was absolutely adorable as Charlotte, I loved her cute face and her sweet relationship with little Arvin. Riley Keough was so great as Sandy with the limited amount of time she had, and Jason Clarke is one of my favorites but he was unrecognizable in this as creepy ass Carl. Harry Melling was a far cry from Dudley Dursley and he did a great job with his screen time, too. Same with Mia Wasikowska, who didn’t have much to do (same as poor Helen in the book) but she was able to garner our sympathy anyway. Seb Stan was slimy and gross but he pulled it off so well. Eliza Scanlen has been one of my favorites since Sharp Objects (another one that’s brutal as hell but I recommend it, she’s so scary) and she was so, so great here. Robert Pattinson was ALRIGHT, everybody talks him up over this but he felt a little hammy to me and a little too over the top, but there’s no denying his talent.

-Now, the reason we’re all here. Tom. My God. As soon as it was over I just didn’t know what the hell to do, I didn’t even know how to....go on, lmfao. We all know he’s talented, that’s why we’re here, that’s why we love him, but his performance in this is just BEYOND all that. Beyond comprehension. The man is only 24 years old and he’s out here outacting people who have been in the industry for longer than he’s been alive. He is SHOCKINGLY good. I knew he’d be perfect for Arvin as soon as I read the book, but he just completely embodied this role in a way that I couldn’t have imagined. He doesn’t show up in the movie until about 45 minutes in (which doesn’t hurt it because of the strength of the leadup, Bill’s performance and the performance of little Arvin’s actor) but God, as soon as he’s there the whole thing comes to life in a way that it hadn’t before. Tom is literally just a shining light, and he draws your eye in every single scene he’s in, and when he’s not there you’re wondering when he’s gonna come back. Arvin, to me, is a very complex character—he has been inherently changed by how his father twisted religion in his childhood, how deeply he betrayed him by his behavior, but he still has a kind heart and a protective streak and the need to be strong despite the pain nearly breaking him apart from moment to moment. Tom is just outrageously good at portraying all Arvin’s little nuances, how he clenches his jaw, how his voice breaks when he’s afraid or trying to convince someone of something or get his point across, how his hands tremble after he’s done something he wishes he didn’t have to do, how his whole body wilts when he realizes he’s emulating his father. And his eyes. Tom can do so, so much with his eyes that it’s unbelievable. He tells you so much with just a simple look, a glance, a wince, a long blink. I’m not exaggerating when I say he’s just an absolute revelation in this, he cements his place in Hollywood with a firm hand and a tender look, and I will not be forgetting what he did here anytime soon. There’s a reason that everyone called him out for being so stunning in this. He is magnificent. He has a gift.

-I wanna say, in particular, how much I love Arvin’s relationship with Lenora. Their lives were both marked by such tragedy and pain and Arvin just took up the torch of protecting her from the moment he said hello as a child. He wants so badly to be tough, and he IS, but there’s just miles and miles of love in this boy’s heart, and it manifests itself for his family—for his uncle, for his grandma, but for Lenora in particular. I loved how he just showed up when she was being harassed and just ran in there without thinking, and it’s purely devastating that he was out taking care of her bullies while a worse predator was cornering her. The scene where she was sick wasn’t in the book but it was a beautiful addition. Tom sometimes wears this very open, unguarded, honest expression, and this is the only scene in which he shows it, and it really expresses the love between them and how much she means to him. Arvin didn’t find Lenora’s body in the book, but it was the right change for them to make. Tom was devastating here, and that pain and that moment truly fuel every second of his journey through the rest of the film. “My Lenora”. The saddest siblings. Both Eliza and Tom did so beautifully with this relationship and I hope they work together again.

-Favorite acting moments for Tom: when he’s in the car in the rain after beating up the bullies, when he’s in the church crowd and realizes Preston is insulting his Grandma (the way his face changes oh my GOD), when he finds Lenora, when the cop comes to tell him Lenora was pregnant (this is just....so damn good), when he was telling his uncle to look after his Grandma, THE ENTIRE CHURCH CONFRONTATION (the way he trembles when he’s trying to get his attention, how he speaks the whole time, how he slowly gathers his strength), when he thinks Sandy has shot him, the moment where he’s over Lee’s body and just....pleading with his eyes for him to listen and realize what he’s done. And the last scene, in the car, all the emphasis on his face....once again, he can do so, so much with a look, with his eyes. Someone called out the beautiful last shot in the film, and of course, it’s Arvin’s sleeping face. And it was so beautiful (and devastating, to think of him enlisting. Tom draws so much sympathy that you just want Arvin to have a normal life so badly. He deserves it, he does, but will he get it?)

-Last thing I’ll say, I really loved how, despite turning his back on religion, that God seems to be protecting Arvin the whole time. He’s terribly afraid confronting the preacher and that could have easily gone badly, especially when he tosses the book, but Arvin was somehow able to get a shot off and get the upper hand. And with Carl and Sandy, he senses something is off immediately once they pull off the road, and he would have absolutely been killed had Carl not switched out Sandy’s bullets for blanks. And in the confrontation with Lee, he once again shoots at the same time as him, shoots without looking, and manages to come out unscathed and on top. A few spoiler reviews pointed out that the last person that picks Arvin up is supposed to be a Jesus-like figure, almost like he’s finally been saved. It hurts that everyone around him that he loved is almost forsaken by God, but he himself is protected. It’s such a complicated commentary on religion throughout the entire piece, but it’s so interesting and engrossing.

So I’d recommend this movie to anyone that loves movies, loves Tom, can deal with a gritty story that takes its time laying out all the chess pieces. It is definitely heavy subject matter but it doesn’t go overboard with the horror as it easily could have. Yes, there are triggers to look for, but the critics hugely over exaggerated how awful it was. I can probably go get time stamps for certain things if people wanna ask me after reading this, but if you can get through a Tarantino film or any HBO drama, you can do this. And Tom’s performance is one for the ages and not one that deserves to be passed over or downplayed. It is beautiful and heart-wrenching—a magnificent turn that displays his monumental ability to reach out and guide you into any world he decides to make his own.

I loved The Devil All the Time.

[creatingnikki]

Start Up

This was the first k-drama where I legit thought that the 2nd male lead was actually the first male lead until half-way through the show. While I do really like Nam Do-San’s character, I think  Han Ji-Pyeong made me feel WAY more. Especially in terms of the romantic chemistry. 

In the beginning, I was so satisfied with the show. But then I think somewhere around the 12th or 13th episode I started to get bored and disappointed. I think that’s mainly because halmeoni suddenly became a side side character and even Ji-Pyeong didn’t have as much screen time. I also feel like there were some sub-plots that were highly unnecessary because they weren’t fleshed out well and felt disconnected like the friend’s brother who died and he wanted revenge, the whole Alex California 3 year time-jump thing. Like that really slowed down the show and made me go ???  The finale however redeemed the show for me!

There were solid side characters in this k-drama, something I generally appreciate about k-dramas as a whole. The character development was also solid and sweet. I think the one that most touched me was Seo/Won In-Jae’s character development. 

I found more depth in her character than even Seo Dal Mi’s. I loved how she changed her name and then visited her grandmother because she just couldn’t do that before it. I get it. I really do. I think we all take our time to do the things we should/want to and that’s completely okay.

Which brings me to the point that Seo Dal Mi, especially towards the second half, felt like a very basic character. I think she was perhaps the only one who didn’t have much development. I honestly didn’t even find her and Nam Do San’s romance to be great or swoon-worthy. 

The most touching connection for me in this kdrama was  Han Ji-Pyeong and halmeoni’s. Like OH MY GOD. Whether it was when he was a child or even as an adult, their scenes made me cry.

 It was the most wholesome, sincere relationship in the entire show! Whether it was her taking him in and thinking he would rob her money in the shop or him thinking that she gave away his investment profits to her son - and both of them being wrong. The scene at the bus station where she gives him a new pair of shoes and tells him only to contact him when he is upset/alone/ill. 

The fact that she calls him good boy. Ahhhhhh. EVERY bit of it. Like even in the finale when she goes to his house and breaks down when she recognises he is sad + lonely I couldn’t stop my tears!!!!! It’s like he can be his true self with halmeoni.

And can I just ramble on about Ji-Pyeong? Firstly his dimples. I can’t deal. 

Secondly his acting. Thirdly his dialogue and his character arc. The way he was so smart in investing and work. The way he could give real feedback and the way he could be honest with Nam Do-San at the end. Aso the fact that he asked him to stop feeling inferior - ahhhhh. Someone really needed to tell Do-San to feel confident and enough and the fact that Ji-Pyeong did that meanth EVERYTHING. Everything about Ji-Pyeong had my heart! His conversations with Yeong-Shila and his drunk moments. And everything in between. I am really heartbroken that he ended up alone. To be honest, by the end of it I really wanted him to end up with In-Jae. I think they as a couple would surprise all of us. 

I know this may be a controversial opinion but both In-Jae and Ji-Pyeong were such strong characters and I feel like they would have easily overpowered the actual first leads (individually and together) if some more attention was paid to them. Which is probably why it wasn’t? But I feel like had the writers of the show leaned more into these two characters. They were smart, mature, emotionally more complex and that’s probably one of my major disappointments with Start-Up. 

But anyhooo, I really appreciated that the last scene was Nam Do-San and Seo Dal-Mi walking to their investor meeting and not their wedding scene. Because yaaaas power couple! I also love how her being the CEO didn’t make Do-San feel inferior or have some sexist ego complex. 

Talking about other side characters I really appreciated Seo Dal Mi’s mom’s redemption. It warmed my heart. I loved how Nam DO San’s father at the end put up the Samsan Tech sign board in the living room and said that the next time he thinks his son is doing something he doesn’t approve of he will look at it 3 times and wait it out/support him? Jung Sa-Ha and Lee Chul-San’s romance appealed to me a lot more than the leads’ romance - no kidding. 

Some of my FAVOURITE scenes were between Nam Do-San and Ji-Pyeong. Like in one of the first few episodes when they are at that conference/party where Nam Do-San shows up as a hot-shot entrepreneur for Dal-Mi and then the two guys move aside to show that they are talking and know each other and Do-San is like what do we talk about? ANd Ji-Pyeong is like let’s just recite the national anthem! I DIED. And then at the end when he invests in Cheonymyeong and they shake hands, how initially Ji-Pyeong only shakes with his two fingers. They both individually and together were beautiful. 

Also can I just say how cool I found the founder and CEO of sandbox just struck me as the COOLEST woman? She’s the kind of person I’d want as my mentor and friend if I was starting a business. And Dal Mi-s father’s backstory is just so very s ad with him finally getting an investment but also like dying the very same day. Sandbox really feels in some way his legacy? 

And I also low-key found the relation between Ji-Pyeong and park Dong-Chun endearing. Like ho Dong-Chun aways recommends all these lovely start ups that aren’t really profitable but he just cannot resist it! And how Ji-Pyeong finally personally invests in the start up for kids who leave orphanages at 18 in the end :’) I was waiting for him to finally personally invest in something like this because he’s rich and he can and I loved it. More than the investing, his meeting with the CEO of that start up was funny and how he wasn’t harsh towards him and how also said he wants a few kids that he can mentor! My heart!

Nam Do-San. I love how he had SO many insecurities because I have always associated that with the female leads whether in kdramas or just generally in the world of fiction. And the fact that he didn’t have any toxic or abusive outlets for his issues is what made me adore him. The friendship between him and his two developer friends was also very heartwarming.

I did really like the business and entrepreneurship aspect of the show like how thye tried to include concepts like the J curve and why you should be a majority shareholder in your own business and what investors look for and stuff. Ofc I would have LOVED it to be more heavy on that aspect but I get that for the general viewership that probably wouldn’t have worked. 

One of the most striking things about Start Up was the relationship between the two sisters. I can’t tell you how much I was digging the fact that neither of them, especially Won In-Jae (at the time) tried to backstab or fuck things up for the other. Even though they had been away for a decade and clearly had made opposite choices in picking their parents and hence a lot of their life, they didn’t once sabotage the other. In fact, they were always concerned about the other when it really came down to it. And them reuniting and working together was a highlight for me. 

This is one of the few kdramas that got the finale done so beautifully. But since Ji-Pyeong’s 2020 life wasn’t really shown to us this is how I’m narrating it in my head. He and In-Jae get together and are this smart power-couple who can open up with each other and be soft and adorable. He also has formed meaningful connections with two kids who left the orphanage and their connection is as wholesome as his and halmeoni's. He and In-Jae live  together in his apartment facing Han River and keep cutely arguing over start up ideas and companies to invest in. Now any time he looks at Seo Dal Mi and Do San he feels friendly affection and this sort of protective vibe. He found some super eye specialist and got halmeoni's eye sight fixed. Her corn dog shop became a huge franchise cos plot twist In Jae and Dal Mi's mother is actually v strategic in business growth.

[notyourordinaryrandomgirl]

Silva's Revenant

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |

Chapter 3

The next day, you made sure to visit your friend, Vanessa Enoteca, to their headquarters which is so weird because according to the Magic Emperor it changes randomly. Now, you are roaming endlessly to the forest trying to decipher where the hell is Black Bull’s headquarters.

“Excuse me?”

A voice interrupted your lost thoughts when a small muscular guy talked to you. He is somehow upper body naked with a band on his hair.

“Hey, Black Bull?” You asked taking notice of the logo on the band on his hair.

“Who are you?” His eyes changed into a scrutinizing one that almost made you laugh.

You grinned, “Y/N. I am a Magic Knight. I believe that you are at Captain Yami’s squad, right?”

“Right!” He went back smiling, “My name is Asta. Nice to meet you.”

Oh.

“Asta, huh? So you’re the one with the five leaf clover, anti magic and has no magic?”

He frowned, “You make it sound like it’s a bad thing!”

“No, no,” You chuckled, “I didn’t mean to but I heard stories about you.”

He wore his robe and looked back at you.

“I was looking for your headquarters and I think I am lost.”

“Alright. I’ll bring you.” He politely said and walked.

You followed him. A moment of walking and you come across a silver-haired girl with her hand on her hips and the other flipping her hair. She arrogantly asked Asta where he went as she was looking for her.

“Bakasta!” She said.

You smile. The memories of a small child is playing in your mind as you watch the two argue over the trivial thing. She was so small when you left, just walking around the castle and has no responsibilities. Though looking at her now, she seems very matured and has experience of battles already.

“Who is she, Asta?”

“Oh, she’s Y/N. A Magic Knight. She’s looking for our headquarters.” Asta answered.

You saw Noelle gaped upon hearing your name. You didn’t think she would remember you as years have already gone by.

“Bakasta! She’s the one we went for last night. The one where all the squads gather for her return!”

You guess she didn’t remember you.

Asta looked at you gaping now as well upon learning the information. You didn’t think what should be gapable on having your return but probably the gathering of the captains is a great deal.

“I knew you won’t remember me, Noelle Silva.” You directed your eyes and attention to her.

“You know me? Well, I’m a royal.” Then she flipped her hair again.

You chuckled, “You’re definitely a Silva, but I am here for Vanessa. Is she at the headquarters?”

“Vanessa senpai? You know her?” Asta asked.

“We were at the Entrance Exam the same year.”

They let you follow them. You smiled seeing the two bickers on your way. Later on, you saw the black building where you recognized as Black Bulls’ headquarters. Nothing much has changed.

You followed their lead and they opened the door for you.

“Vanessa senpai, someone is looking for you!” Asta’s loud mouth echoed, you sure that it resonated in the room.

“To me?” You heard Vanessa, and you took it as a cue to show yourself, “Y/N! I know you will come for me!”

“So, that’s why you didn’t bother welcoming me?”

She grinned, “Of course, but we had a mission yesterday and it was late when we got back. Anyway, what’s important is that you’re now here!”

She didn’t change but you can see that she somehow matured.

It was late before you noticed that the whole squad was staring at you. You mustered up a shy smile to them and gaze to Vanessa.

“Oh right,” She jolted, “Everyone, this is Y/N. She’s a friend of mine. A Magic Knight too and we entered the same year.”

“Y/N? That sounds familiar…”

“Isn’t she… Well, I don’t remember.”

“Who cares? Is she strong, Vanessa? Can I fight her?”

“You can’t fight a beautiful woman, I think we can date later!”

“Marie is the only beautiful person!”

“I...I don’t t-think he m-meant t-that w-way, Gauche.”

“Hey brats, she’s an important Magic Knight. She’s definitely at captain level.”

You almost want to roll your eyes when Captain Yami appears from the hall. He smirked when he looked at you to the silver-haired girl.

“Noelle, have you met her?” He teased. Oh my god.

Noelle looked at him confused, “Yeah, we met outside.”

“You don’t remember her?”

“She told me that I might not remember her, but who is she exactly? Is she a royal?”

Yami smiled, “Nothing. You should ask your older brother about her.”

“Who? Nozelnii-sama or Solidnii-sama?”

“Maybe both.” Captain Yami grinned.

“I sort of met you when you were younger, I mean I always see you or sometimes babysit you.”

You decided to interject because it seems this is inevitable and it might as well come from you than anyone else. Some people might inject ideas to her.

“Just that?”

“Captain…” You stressed.

“Alright! Alright, I will stop!” Captain Yami laughed.

“Oh, I don’t remember.” Noelle only said.

“It’s fair enough. If not for your hair and your distinct feature I wouldn’t recognize you either, you’ve grown so much.”

There’s a blush that creeped into her cheeks upon your praise. The smile that crossed your lips was almost motherly-like. She grew up beautifully, almost identical to her mother. Acier Silva must be so proud watching her.

“You should’ve come to my squad. Definitely, you are an addition to this weird squad.”

You grinned, “I know that you already expected me not to change my squad, I don’t know what you are fussing about.”

A smirk graced his lips. You and Vanessa decided to leave and went to a restaurant to catch up. You’re talking while eating when the crowd made whisper noises that caught your attention, when you checked out what they were looking at you saw Nebra and Solid Silva there. They just arrived and as Solid sat down your eyes met.

You looked down, “Vanessa, I think we should go.”

“Hey, we came here first and they don’t own this restaurant. We’ll be fine. You will be fine.” Vanessa told you back.

As much as you want to believe her, but you caught Solid’s playful smirk before he stood up. Eyes were following him as he made his way to you. You can almost hear Nebra’s protests.

When he stops at your table, you don’t have any choice but to acknowledge his presence.

“Solid Silva. Nice to see you well.” You said.

His eyebrow raised, “I am indeed well, Y/N. I am not going to waste time, I just want to ask why did you still come back? Everything’s going pretty well here without you.”

“Hey!” Vanessa stood up, anger displayed on her face. People started to watch the scene, even the people outside were peeking.

“This is my homeland, of course I will always come back where I came from.” You bravely answered him, although his words stinged you.

Solid laughed at your words, “Homeland? Who even voluntarily leaves their homeland, huh?”

“I did that to-”

“To prove something? To hurt people who will be left behind? Isn’t that selfish?”

You stood up, “You have no idea what I’ve been through and I would never wish that to someone, even for you.”

“Don’t give that to me. You want to leave! You left my brother, right? You chose that! So, don’t give me crap about what you’ve been through because you also have no idea what he's been through!”

“Solid!” Nebra stood up and dashed her way to his brother, “Stop making a scene!”

Your breathing became violent, “I-I’m sorry.”

“No, do not apologize for something you don’t regret.” Nebra told you.

“Just don’t come near our brother again, or else you’ll deal with me.” Solid points at you. He brushed off Nebra’s hold on his arm, “I don’t want to eat here anymore. Let’s go.”

They both left the restaurant, and you felt your knees weaken making you sit back on your chair. Vanessa went on about you apologizing and how you shouldn’t have done that. The people’s look at you made you extremely uncomfortable. The two of you decided to leave and went to a forest near Black Bull’s headquarters.

“Y/N, are you alright?” Vanessa asked after a long silence.

You looked at her and smiled, “Yeah. I expected that, actually.”

She sighed and told stories, changing the topic which made you thankful of her. The nightfall came and Vanessa although hesitant parted ways with you. You decided to take a leisure walk in the Royal Capital for hours, a lot of thoughts coming to you. The years of your travel brought you to the results that you needed before you left and it made you happy.

“No, do not apologize for something you don’t regret.”

Maybe Nebra was right. You don’t regret that you left because it gains you something irreplaceable, something that you lacked before you left.

You decided to go back to the headquarters as you noticed the stalls beginning to close up and the crowd was dissipating. As you walk at an average phase, someone’s presence was made known to you. It was familiar, and felt almost like a comfort to you.

“Y/N.”

That brooding low voice and a man with purple eyes appeared from the alleyway on your way to the headquarters. You are frozen on the spot. The silhouette of that man changed into his own physical self.

“Nozel…” It hit you and you looked down, “Captain Nozel.”

He did not talk for a lot of seconds and you did not dare to look at him. You have no right to. Instead, you wait for his words. He called you, it means he needs something.

“I… I wanted to extend my apology to you.” His words were enough to make you look at him. Your mind went on a trip to the memories thinking of the cause of his apology in seconds. You found nothing, it should even be the other way around.

“F-For what?”

“I learned about the incident earlier with Solid. I assure you that I already talked to him and made him promise to not talk to you like that again. That is not how a royal acts.”

Oh.

“It’s nothing. I understand where he is coming from. You should not apologize for that.” You said.

“Understanding the reason doesn’t make the course of action appropriate.” He said, without the familiarity of softness and affection he usually uses to you. It was all gone. You are only colleagues now.

“Of course. I understand. Thank you… for apologizing. It’s alright.” You stammered.

He paused, “Very well. I won’t keep you for long. Thank you, Y/N.”

“You’re welcome,” Your eyes on his purple one. The one you felt so bare everytime it turned to you. The one who looked at you like you’re a goddess. The one you felt the most loved. The one you love the most, “Captain Nozel.”

It is not the same. It changed. Everything has changed.

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

[sneakydraws]

Well, here it is - a lengthy explanation of each card in my mdzs major arcana deck and what I meant to convey/what i would have changed in retrospect/what alternatives i considered! It’s a bit messy and my typing style is lazy but hopefully it will be an interesting read to some of you :)

And so you don’t say I didn’t warn you - jiang cheng’s section (11 justice) is absurdly long lmao

0 the fool  I elaborated on this in the post itself but yeah basically jin ling is kind of representative of all the damage and trauma caused by the past, and there’s a kind of danger there of him falling victim to the same vices as the older characters and repeating the same mistakes and perpetuating the cycle of war and misery (the cycle that we already see with how the jin sect became the new wen sect, and later with how jgy became the new wwx) and he has a lot of room to grow! He grows so much over the course of the novel, comes to realise the complexities of the past and gets a harsh life lesson in how nothing is as black and white as it seems. But ill save talking about his progress for the end, for now whats important is that he has room to grow and also a dog. I don’t really have a justification for the sun, i mostly just thought it looked sick? It made its way to the next card as well, where it makes a bit more sense, but then i realised it was a dumb motif to include 1 the magician I still very much like wwx for the role, and that illustration would have probably had him raising a corpse on his left and pointing threateningly to the sun on his right. I considered including the table as well, with some mdzs relevant items replacing the card suits. Anyway, like i said wwx got a few cards to himself already so i went with the alternative wq design, since i think she fits the card as well. Both she and wwx are highly skilled people, extremely driven once they set their mind to something. The card to me symbolises the creative mind as well as a general drive for action, which fits them both - wwx was famously a prolific inventor, and wq came up with a previously unheard of surgery, after all. This card strays pretty far from the rider-waite deck design, largely because i was still figuring out how i wanted to approach this series, but you can still see the influence. 2 the high priestess I was actually going to skip this card at first because I couldn’t think of a fitting character, but once i considered a qings character post death, it all fit pretty well. She was already a highly intuitive person in life, and in sharing her memories with wwx she is, in a way, relaying a kind of secret knowledge. Anyway she’s one of my fav characters so im glad i got a chance to include her. The coffins could be interpreted to be xxc and sl or xxc and xy 3 the empress Theres other mother figures in mdzs who got to be mothers for a longer time, but jyl definitely embodies the positive aspects of this card the best. She’s nurturing, kind, emotionally supportive, she already mothered wwx and jc quite a bit when she was young. Plus i liked that the rw card had both water and flowers, making an easy lotus connection. In retrospect the stars look kind of out of place and i should have replaced them with something more relevant... Also, i should have had her hold a lotus seed pod instead of a flower, haha 4 the emperor Like i said I considered jc for the role but hoching bullied me into admitting that nmj was better… they’re both more of an inverted emperor than an upright one but then again theres hardly any character in mdzs who would fit upright emperor so. Jgs was also considered but he’s even uglier than nmj so i couldn’t bear to draw him 5 the hierophant It was pointed out to me that lqr would have fit this card better and the truth if that statement haunts me to this day. Unfortunately I have no space in my brain for lqr so lxc got the role instead. My main reason was his role during the wen destruction of gusu lan, when he ran away with the contents of the library - this is why there’s bookshelves behind him. The keys, take, from the rider-waite deck, are meant to represent the gusu pendants that allow you to enter 6 the lovers Im sure many people would have chosen wangxian here but I uhh don’t really care abt wangxian personally? And also their love story is so convoluted that jyl and jzx seem idyllic by comparison lol. Also i didnt really have an idea for who to put in the angel’s place for wangxian… mme jin certainly did not get these two together in the end but undeniably she and mme yu did initially give them a chance to fall for each other so. Thats something i guess. Anyway the trees became their sects’ flowers and the mountain became the burial grounds - an omen of their tragic fate, basically 7 the chariot There might have been other characters who fit this card better but i couldn’t really think of another card for lwj and i thought it would be weird to not include him… anyway i don’t really care for current timeline lwj BUT i do like that he was clearly influenced by wwx to walk his own path in life based on his moral convictions rather than follow his sect’s rules blindly. The chariot is to me a card of self control, self determination and focused action, so it seemed fitting. The composition felt kind of empty without the actual chariot so i padded it out with the guqin, the cloud recess in the bg (it doesn’t look great but i tried to replicate the drama design….) and the bunnies which conveniently fit the colour scheme of the sphinxes in the rider-waite design 8 strength Like i said before, my interpretation of this card is more… morally ambiguous than the quote unquote official meaning, so i thought about manipulative or duplicitous characters more than kind characters whose strength is expressed through gentleness (though i did consider jyl briefly for the latter interpretation). As such, i considered both jgy and nhs, but ended up going with jgy largely because i couldn’t pass up the opportunity to put the nie sect’s beast as the lion. 9 the hermit My thoughts immediately went to bssr lol. It may be an overly literal interpretation but whatever, i like it just fine. And i like that i managed to echo the rider-waite silhouette in the mountain and the tree (and even in bssr herself) 10 wheel of fortune God i love the parallels between these 2… this card to me is about how you cant trust your current situation, good or bad, to last forever, and these 2 embody that perfectly imo. Wwx went from son of a well off servant and a powerful cultivator, to street rat orphan, to adopted son of sect leader jiang, to double orphan, to MIA, to terrifying but admired warrior, to terrifying and despised traitor, to dead, to, at the very end, suddenly respected and trusted again. The dishonesty and cheapness of whatever the public’s current opinion of him is is portrayed beautifully as far as im concerned. And jgy of course claws his way up to power only to instantaneously become public enemy number one, to the point that he’s probably blamed for stuff there’s no reason to believe he had a hand in. Wei wuxian’s silent astonishment at how quickly the cultivation world turns against jgy and towards him again is a delicious moment of thematic resonance.  11 justice I settled on this card for jc after he got booted from the emperor seat but i do think it fits, in a somewhat convoluted way. I turned both the sword and the scales into visual representations of the golden core transfer (can you tell im obsessed with it). According to biddy tarot, the justice card is partly about searching for the truth, and the scene where jc finds out about the transfer is of course a big deal. I was also very influenced by the reversed meaning again - which is about being reluctant or unwilling to face or accept the consequences of your actions. I feel on an intuitive level that this fits jc but I’m not sure how well i can explain it - it’s something about how he’s a little too comfortable scapegoating wwx for things that were also, if much less so, influenced by his actions, and also something about the way he keeps wwx at an arm’s length emotionally but still leans on him and accepts his support when he really needs it, and somewhat hypocritically expects wwx to put the needs of him and the jiang sect before the needs of others. And also something about the core exchange is the consequence and proof of wwx’s deep - terrifyingly deep, even - love and care for him, which is something jc doesn’t seem to let himself acknowledge. Maybe even something about how you could argue that the way all of the jiangs acted around wwx - jfm’s favouritism that left him with the feeling of a debt he needs to repay, mme yus insistence that he be a servant more than a brother to jc, prepared to give his life for jc, and jc’s own unwillingness - or inability, he was a child after all - to clearly acknowledge wwx as an equal to himself, enabling wwx’s self sacrificial and protective tendencies - that all of this was what caused wwx’s complete and unquestioning willingness to do whatever it took to protect jc, and therefore paved the way to the golden core transfer. And i don’t mean this to be scapegoating jc - especially considering how young he was when this all went down, it wouldn’t be fair to expect this level of emotional perceptiveness, awareness and maturity of him - but i think adult jc has to grapple with the fact that the chain of cause and effect was not as simple as wwx fucking everyone’s lives up to be a martyr, and that both jc and his parents had a role in that story as well. I don’t even necessarily think this is something that jc only realised in the current timeline - i think it’s something he felt on some level this whole time, and it probably led to a lot of feelings of guilt - but the suibian reveal definitely puts it in sharp focus, and i think he’s now better equipped to handle this introspection than he was as a recently orphaned, traumatised teenager, lol. ANYWAY the window with the fabric is both a nod to the rider-waite design and a reference to the destruction of lanling - i actually did some basic ass research for this, and it seems that in ancient china fabric would indeed be hanged in a window if the normally used paper was damaged. The design of the window, as well as the very idea to use it to imply the reconstruction of lanling, was taken from this great piece of jc angst by my pal moroll1! Oh yeah also the covered window kind of works as a denial of forgiveness for jc because it’s like a halo but covered up... Also I completely forgot to put a blindfold over his eyes which would be perfectttt because blind justice and the core exchange......... ok moving on 12 the hanged man I always have issues with this card because i cant find a satisfactory summary of what it’s really about. Best i can tell it symbolises a need to hit pause, surrender or let go of something… ive also seen it tied to sacrifice? So mo xuanyu doesn’t fit perfectly, but sacrifice is definitely there in a surface level reading kind of way, and the idea that you have to surrender or let go in order to achieve your goal does fit the whole deal of getting revenge but giving up your life in exchange and not being there to see it 13 death This is probably one of my favourite cards, definitely not because I have huge issues with change or anything…. I see this card as signalling the necessity of change or putting an end to something / leaving something in the past in order to start anew? At first i considered putting past wwx, mxy and current wwx here as a kind of transformation and one cycle flowing into the next... But firstly, I’d already used mxy in the very previous card, so putting him in again would feel like overkill, and secondly, the longer I thought about it the less convinced I was that this would even fit with the card’s meaning? Because coming back from the dead doesn’t like... trigger an internal transformation within wwx or anything? Anyway, fun fact: the design I ended up going with was actually originally intended for judgement! I thought I was being very clever with the whole “figure plays an instrument and the dead rise” parallel, but apparently I’d just completely forgotten that the judgement card had a completely different composition... Truly I was boo boo the fool... But yeah anyway at the end of the day I figured the design would kind of work for death as well, with Wen Ning and the theme of transformation, (since in his case coming back as a fierce corpse does actually mark a certain transformation in behaviour) and Wei Wuxian’s protection of the Wen people essentially signifying an attempt to break the cycle of oppression if that makes any sense? Like, wwx is trying to revolutionise the way the world works a bit, if you catch my drift 14 temperance  The centrist card! Again this is probably going off track from the “official” interpretation, but to me this card has a certain “don’t commit fully; do everything in moderation; don’t take either side” flavour to it that i personally find infuriating irl and that i very much assign to lxc. It’s entirely possible that I’m misinterpreting his character because i didn’t really pay him (and the 3zun in general) much mind while reading, but hell, I’m allowed to pick favourites and choose who i want to interpret deeply vs shallowly. Again, i wish id chosen lqr for hierophant because its so annoying for a character i don’t care about to get two cards…. But oh well 15 the devil My alternative idea for this was jgy as the devil and lxc plus nmj as the figures, but since all three had been featured already (multiple times, even!) i figured I’d go with xy instead, especially since he’s among my faves lol. I think the devil signifies something along the lines of unhealthy attachment, obsession or addiction, which isn’t 100% accurate in the case of xxc and a-qing, but if i stretch it a bit to cover toxic relationships in general, and especially manipulation or negative influence, i don’t think it’s half bad. My main struggle here was to choose who amongst the xxc/sl/aq trio to choose for the human figures. 16 the tower Arguably jin zixuans death and the following massacre of nightless city were the final and most direct reason for the siege of burial mounds, and the tiger seal is good shorthand for wwx’s loss of control over his powers, which led to the deaths of jzx and jyl. When reimagining major arcana i like to feature some kind of building in this card (spoilers for a possible future project but in my rose of versailles major arcana set the tower is bastille) and even if it’s not a tower, the image of wwx looming over the gathered crowd from atop a rooftop is so good i couldn’t resist 17 the star Struggled with this one - considered both jin ling and lsz for it, as symbolising a hope for the future, but that was kind of covered by the world so it wouldn’t make sense to include here as well... As usual when I struggle with interpreting a card (as opposed to understanding it but struggling with matching a character to it, like with death or moon) I went to biddy tarot and read all the details about its meaning. What i got was that this card signifies an incoming period of introspection and inner peace following a time of turmoil, as well as a general moving on into a new, better phase of one’s life or finding new meaning and purpose. The figure also suggests someone vulnerable, but possessing a keen sense of intuition as well as a good degree of practicality and common sense. Given all those, I settled for mianmian because IM LOVE HER..... I also kind of see her as a prelude to the “just one person is enough” theme present in tgcf!! And i think her decision to abandon her sect because she saw the toxicity and corruption in it is a very inspiring action - even if it didn’t make a large visible impact, i think the appearance of her and her idyllic family at the very end of the novel - paralleling and mirroring wangxian - implies that at the end of the day, it was a meaningful one 18 the moon Another card i ALWAYS fuxking struggle with - this time less because i can’t grasp its meaning and more because I can never find a character that fits it well. I usually get fixated on the “dreams and subconscious” part, but if i lean more on the “disguise, deceit, anxiety and fear” part, i eventually figured the whole yi city arc wouldn’t be a bad fit. I say the entire arc because it really does encompass all those themes if you include both the past and the present - xue yang’s disguise, his tricks with the villagers, a-qing’s lies and even xxc’s reluctance to talk about his past as well as xue yang pretending to be xxc all fit the disguise and deceit angle, and the general mystery and creepiness of the current timeline yi city work well with the anxiety and fear - the mist, the slow uncovering of the past, even a-qing being revealed to be an ally after scaring the shit out of the protags. I definitely struggled with including all the elements and characters, and even moreso with making them vaguely fit the rider-waite composition, but i think it ended up okay ish. OH and i completely forgot to draw mist swirling around them :( 19 the sun I was considering mianmian’s family for this one, but since I used her for star, I ended up with wwx and his parents instead. Once again I’m reinterpreting the card a bit - normally I think it symbolises incoming times of pure happiness and abundance, as well as a connection with the inner child, but I gave it more of a nostalgic or sentimental twist - wwx looking back at the brief glimpse of his happy childhood. 20 judgement another card that i struggle to interpret a bit... Here i actually used the tgcf tarot zine as a reference! In it judgement is summarised as “rebirth, following duty, absolution” SO i figured that nhs, mxy and wwx all together would fit pretty neatly... wwx achieving (public) absolution through clearing his own name after being reborn, and nhs sort of calling on wwx to expose jgy’s crimes... It’s a bit messy but not bad I think! 21 the world This ties very closely to my read on mdzs as a story - which is that it’s, at the end of the day, largely about cycles, and about how hard it is to break them, but how we gotta keep trying and have hope anyway. Or maybe more precisely, that the people directly involved with and influenced by the trauma of the past might not be able to get over said trauma and that the hope for healing from it will be shouldered by the new generation. Or something like that… Basically what i mean is that jc and wwx and lwj and lxc and nhs and jgy and all these people who were in the thick of the sunshot campaign and the siege are so profoundly affected by it that it genuinely feels by the end of the story like there is little hope for them to ever truly overcome that trauma and build a better future without repeating the same old mistakes - but there is a glimmer of hope in the new generation, specifically in jl and lsz. And it’s a bit paradoxical, because they have also been directly impacted by the past tragedies - lsz having his entire clan wiped out after wwx failed to protect them, jl losing both his parents to wwx’s mistakes - but despite that loss, and despite coming from arguably the two opposing sides of the past conflicts, they are both, in the end, capable of moving past that tragedy, of recognising the complicated nature of those conflicts (jl’s moment of clarity at the end is both heartbreaking and hopeful) and forging friendships between clans in the process. I honestly think that the extra where jl is struggling to assert his authority as sect leader, to treat his subjects well and to cooperate with other sects in a truly amicable way is the single hopeful ending note for the larger themes of the novel - it allows us to imagine that maybe these kids can learn from the mistakes of their elders rather than getting sucked in by resentment at those mistakes, and actually build a brighter future for the cultivation world. And sidenote, this is also why i have a soft spot for jin ling and lan sizhui as a ship... speaking of which their poses were directly referenced from the lovers card ehehe

Looking back, I’d like to add some symbol of jin ling’s trauma so that it mirrors baby wen yuan in the tree stump... maybe his father’s sword? 

[outerbxnks]

runaway kook - jj maybank

word count: 2.3k

pairing: jj maybank x reader

warnings: bad writing? nothing serious.

a/n: my first imagine in so long, and first of this blog! please let me know what you think, and requests are open <3

requested: n/a

-

you stood off to the side of the party, scowling as you watched the mechanic-like movements of the people dancing around you. you were used to these sorts of events, but they never got easier to tolerate. usually, at least, you’d have a friend to hang around with. here, you had no one. you were forced to suffer alone.

you’d just recently moved from the mainland to the outer banks on account of your father’s business. he wanted to branch out to further customers, hence why you were forced to suddenly pack up and leave behind the life you knew. even more so to your disadvantage, your move took place during the summer, so you hadn’t had a chance to meet anyone yet. with your father’s connections, your family were invited to an event a short time after you’d arrived; the (supposedly) infamous midsummer’s party.

hence why you were currently standing alone, simply observing the various faces passing by as they swayed to the classical music being played. you didn’t need to talk to any of them to know the kind of people they were, you could see it in their faces. stuck up, rich, self-absorbed. you knew the type all too well. you also knew you were probably going to have to befriend them, and the thought alone made you want to gag.

you were lost in your thoughts when a small tap on your shoulder shook you from your daydream. you turned to see a girl around your age, her blonde hair cascading gently down her back and a beautiful flower crown situated delicately on her head. “excuse me, are you y/n?” she smiled kindly, and your distaste for everyone around you disappeared momentarily.

you took a second to assess her. she seemed genuine, and you had a feeling she wasn’t like the others. it was quite easy to force a smile and fake kindness, and it was actually very common for people of your social class to do so. however, over time you’d learned to notice when someone was lying - and she wasn’t, or may she was just really good at lying. regardless, you knew you would have to make friends eventually, so after a moment you offered a polite smile and replied, “that’s me.”

“it’s nice to meet you, y/n! i’m sarah cameron, your father and mine are associates.” she beamed, making a small face at the end of her sentence. you gave her a questioning glance, and she leaned close, her voice no louder than a whisper in your ear. “sorry, they’re watching. gotta be on our best behaviour.” she tilted her head backwards and you subtly glanced in that direction, seeing your father next to a man, presumably sarah’s father, and watched as they both looked away at your gaze.

you shook your head with an amused smile, just as the music shifted into a more upbeat tune. sarah seemed to brighten at this, turning to face you excitedly. “care to dance?” she offered you a hand, quirking a brow. you smirked, taking her hand and setting down your drink, allowing her to lead you out into the crowd.

the two of you began dancing carelessly, and you couldn’t help but enjoy yourself. something about her made you feel comfortable, maybe it was because she understood you. you were mid-spin when sarah sharply turned, letting go of your hand and causing you to stumble. you barely managed to catch yourself, looking up to see sarah talking to a server. you watched curiously as he passed her a note and talked to her in hushed whispers. her face suddenly lit up in realization, and you were so caught up in watching her that you didn’t see the boy backing up until he walked right into you, sending you tumbling to the ground.

“shit, are you okay?” he cursed, reaching out a hand for you to help you up. you groaned, placing your hand in his and allowing him to pull you to your feet. he began to look you over, shamelessly checking you out. “well, hello there.” he flirted, and your cheeks warmed up significantly. he was attractive, you couldn’t deny that. the suit he was wearing complimented his figure (very) nicely, but you wouldn’t let him have the satisfaction of knowing that.

“perv.” you muttered instead, forcing yourself to look away. he gasped in mock offence, holding a hand over his heart dramatically. he opened his mouth to retort, when a few boys marched over, grabbing him by the shoulder and aggressively swinging him around, getting in his face. you backed away, and before you knew it he took off running, and the other boys were chasing him through the building. you stood there, in shock for a moment. you quickly snapped out of it and spun around hopelessly looking for sarah, or for anyone that could help him, but no one seemed at all phased by the situation.

you looked around in a panic, when you spotted a security guard. not knowing what more you could do, you begged him to check the room you’d seen the group run into. he had rolled his eyes at you, but agreed and told you to wait outside, you doing so hesitantly. those guys who were following him - the boy whose name you realized, you still didn’t know - looked absolutely terrifying. sure, you could handle yourself against some rich assholes but you were severely outnumbered and decided it was best to stay put.

you paced anxiously and jumped when the security guard came storming out of the room, but much to your surprise the server was the one being dragged out by the collar. “hey, what are you doing with him?” you called out, and though the guard ignored you, the boy looked back, an expression of surprise on his face when he saw you waiting outside. he smirked, shooting you a quick wink before he was dragged outside. you followed the two, wanting to make sure he was alright, at the very least.

you saw him struggling against the guard as you walked out, and he began making a scene. “i see you got your drink! good, that’s really nice of you. i’m actually gonna down that.” he snached the drink right out of the older man’s hand and chugged it, and you were shocked, and slightly in awe. you’d wanted many times to act out at one of these formal events, but you couldn't ever bring yourself to do such a thing. you were enjoying the scene in front of you however, probably a bit more than you should.

he began yelling, catching the attention of everyone in the club. “it’s okay everybody! do not panic. let’s leave it to the men and women in uniform!” you glanced around, finally catching sarah’s gaze. you subtly motioned towards the boy, as if questioning her about his actions; she only shrugged in response, and you turned your attention back to him. he was still being forced out, though you didn’t have the courage to follow him, not with your father who was standing only a short distance away.

“let go of him!” a sudden voice called out, and a beautiful girl with her hair tied up beautifully into a bun stepped out of the crowd. “you can’t just boot him! i invited him here, i’m a member of this club!” she argued, and despite the protests of the people around her, she continued defending the blonde boy.

suddenly he shoved away the guard, and gasps were heard all around. “sorry about that!” he smiled, turning to the girl. “hey, mandatory power hour at rixon’s, kie!” he was walking out now, “pope, you as well, alright? rixon’s cove - let’s roll.” you had to admit, him acting out was really hot. the urge to step out was too great and you gave in, walking directly into his line of sight. he saw you and smirked, eyeing you up and down, then pointed directly at you. “new girl, you should come too. alright, guys! c’mon!”

you watched as the girl who defended him, kie, quickly escaped her protesting parents and watched as the other boy, pope, had as well. it looked liberating. you didn’t even know them, but one quick glance at your father’s warning expression was enough for you to give in and run after them, laughing as you heard the desperate calls of your parents behind you. surely you’d regret this later, but hell, you’d been dreaming of this your whole life, you weren’t letting the opportunity slip away so easily.

you met up with them, and the mysterious boy dramatically bowed, offering you his hand and you took it with a mocking curtsey. you both laughed and you allowed him to pull you to wherever it was you were going. it was then that you realized you actually had no idea where that was, but you figured anything was better than a party full of rich snobs, and besides, you couldn’t exactly back out now.

there was a worn-down looking van parked outside, and the group piled in, you hesitating momentarily. “hey new girl, you coming or what?” he teased, and all eyes fell on you. you never backed down from a challenge, so against your better judgment, you climbed inside, situating yourself with your back to the passenger seat in which pope had occupied. kie slid the door closed behind you, and you pulled out onto the road, a series of cheers arose from the group.

kie turned to you, a curious expression on her face. “so, what’s your name, newbie?” she asked, smirking deviously. it was a bit intimidating, and you straightened your body at her intense gaze.

“y/n.” you answered simply, and you became hyper-aware of everyone’s attention being on you. an awkward silence followed, and you weren’t really sure what else to say, so you cleared your throat. “what about you guys?”

she glanced at you up and down, sizing you up. a moment later she smiled, offering a hand. “i’m kiara, but call me kie.” you took it graciously, returning the smile. “that’s pope, and john b in the front.”

“nice to meet you guys.” you responded, feeling much more at ease. you turned curiously towards the boy who had consumed your thoughts for the entirety of the night. “and what about you? what’s your name, lover boy?” you flirted casually, having gained confidence.

“jj, you mean to tell me you invited someone to run away with us without even having told her your name?” pope asked, confusion written all over his face. he looked at you through the mirror, “and you followed someone and got in a car with him and his friends without even knowing his name? what if we were kidnapping you!” he exclaimed, and you laughed at his words, because they were very much true.

“hey, kidnapping sounds better than sticking around those jerks at the club.” you joked, and everyone agreed, and soon kiara, pope and john b took off in their own conversation, causing you to smirk at jj. “jj huh? cute name. what does it stand for?”

“you and i don’t know each other that well, sweetheart.” he winked, and you felt like you died a little inside at the pet name, but forced yourself not to show him the effect he had on you.

“fine. maybe you’re not a perv.. but you’re a shit server, by the way.” you commented airily, smiling innocently as he scoffed.

“i’m going to take the fact you don’t think i’m a perv as a compliment and choose to ignore you insulting my top notch serving skills.” he shot you a wink, and you rolled your eyes in response, falling into a comfortable silence before kie turned to you, breaking it.

“so y/n, tell us your story.” she pried, leaning forward in anticipation. you shrugged, taking a moment to think.

“not sure what to say, honestly. my dad’s a businessman, he wanted to “expand his horizons” with his customers and next thing you know, we’re packing up everything and moving here.” you explained, and she nodded thoughtfully.

“why come with us then?” her questions were merely fueled by genuine curiosity, and you were happy to answer.

“why not? look at the club, it’s filled with preppy, narcissistic assholes who flaunt their money and constantly fight over who has the biggest house. i can’t stand those people, and i never understood the whole superiority thing. it’s annoying and honestly, so unattractive.” you rolled your eyes, and the group laughed at your comment.

“look at us boys, sounds like we’ve got ourselves a kook princess gone rogue.” she spoke proudly, a smirk on her face.

“what’s a kook?” you asked, tilting your head slightly in confusion. the group laughed, and kie spoke up again.

“those who live on figure 8, with their extremely overpriced properties and huge egos. basically everyone you saw at the club, that’s a kook.” kie explained, and you groaned, affirming you indeed fit into that category. “don’t worry though. you seem cool, you can hang with us.”

“wait, really?” you lit up at her words, looking around at the boys, all who nodded in agreement. your gaze lingered on jj, who seemed a bit relieved. you imagined things would not have gone so well had you actually been happy with the “kook” lifestyle.

“yeah, you can hang with us..” john b spoke for the first time, and you arched a brow, silently asking him to continue. “if you can keep up.” he winked, and kie scoffed at him, shoving him lightly. you smiled at the group around, perfectly content.

“can i ask a question?” you spoke up hesitantly, and kie nodded, encouraging you to continue. “if i’m considered a kook, what does that make you guys?”

the group shared a quick laugh, before jj decided to speak up this time. “oh please, princess. you’re no kook, you’re one of us now. you better like it, cause you can’t shake us that easily.” you rolled your eyes, but couldn’t keep the smile off of your face at his words. “and to answer your question…”

“welcome to the pogue life, y/n.”

[deabbawallace]

The Umbrella Academy Season 2 overall thoughts (scroll if you don’t want spoilers !)

I’ve watched season 2 twice and here’s what I’ve noticed. feel free to agree/ disagree, let’s have a discussion! :)

- Luther’s character development was amazing this season. although he was mainly depressed and stress eating, he did grow as a character SO much by immediately apologizing to Vanya. he could have easily got away with not telling her the full extent of what happened/ what he did due to her memory loss (and Five also not directly telling her she was the cause, or “bomb”). he’s still struggling with who he is and how he lost his motivation and leadership-ness towards the end of season one. not seeing any of his siblings, especially Allison made Luther feel alone again, like when he was sent to the moon. Luther has SO much more of a idea between when he can lead and when it’s okay for him to follow (example: him telling Klaus to look for Allison while he watches over Five who was obviously upset due to the situation). he was very smart with the whole old/young Five situation, even if he got his ass beat in the process. overall Luther is a great character and deserves so much more of a love interest than his sister.

- Diego. as far as we know Diego and Vanya actually got parts of Klaus’ powers this season. originally in the comics Klaus can levitate and has telekinesis. Diego’s was able to manipulate the bullets in the finale with telekinesis that wasn’t brought up earlier. it made sense and for the character since he already know how to manipulate knives and other things to his favor. another Diego power that wasn’t described that i was quite disappointed about is the fact that he can hold his breath underwater for long periods of time. although Diego’s love interest this season is Lila, i have a feeling he is more infatuated with her than in love. it’s known that Diego loved Patch, and was torn and wished to remember and honor her memory, so there a chance he fell for Lila or his idea of her, mixed with some of the personality traits of Patch. Diego went from basically resenting Vanya and always going toe to toe with Luther to forgiving her and actually working as a pair with Luther, while Luther let Diego have his leader or “Number One” moments this season.

- Allison. wow. we had a minor complaint of her not dating her brother and boy did they take that and run with it. she went from an adored black actress with a white husband and mixed daughter to a time where black and whites couldn’t even enjoy a cup of coffee in the same diner. now i’m not sure if this was intentional but i noticed upon allison’s arrival, 3 white boys are taunting her saying “hey girl”. although i’m not sure, i was wondering if this line/scene is a reference to the Emmett Till case (he died in 1955 so less than a decade then where this harassment takes place). it could be possible since Emmett did get murdered for saying “hey baby” to a white women and i think it’s a good yet subtle part on the show runners half if this was their intention. Allison’s want of showing she loves Vanya showed tremendously throughout this season, she’s basically glowing around Vanya, especially in the scene where she was hanging out with Klaus and Vanya.

- Klaus. Klaus went through so much this season (as it seems like he always does) Klaus’ adventure of seeing Dave and telling him not to enlist is a case of “right intention, wrong time”. he came off too strongly and scared off Dave. eventually Dave wanted to know why Klaus knew so much about him so he visted Klaus at his weird cult house. i will say he obviously did have some influence over Dave since he got dave to enlist in the marines instead of the army. Klaus having a cult makes sense for his character. the lack of “daddy’s love” and attention he got in season one was filled by his cult, even if he was a fraud and only superficial worshipping. he started to push Ben away this season, and ultimately you could argue it helped tainting/ damaging his relationship with Ben a tad bit, but at the same time Klaus secretly wanted Ben to get a break from him and go to heaven, even if that meant loosing his brother from being with him 24/7. i wish he had more of reaction when Vanya tells him about Ben. it could just be usual Klaus, hiding his feelings to not feel like a burden to anyone. with Robert’s acting abilities, as much as i don’t want to see klaus in pain, a meltdown scene of Klaus missing Ben would be startling at how well it can be done.

- Five. Five was an old man before he came back to the Academy in season one and it’s discussed that he messed up the calculations that put them in his kid body. it could be a possibility that when he was going back in time with his siblings he saw his siblings were turning into kids, panicked, and thought of a different equation in his head to make them adults. we have to remember as viewers that since he’s gotten back to the season one timeline he knows what it feels like to be not taken seriously due to his physical age and how he looks. so he wanted his siblings to be adults again? maybe it could also be because he couldn’t emotionally handle seeing the versions of his siblings from over 60+ years ago (in his mind) in front of him again. it could just be a simple miscalculation since math clearly isn’t Five’s strong suit since he’s 0/3, or could have a deeper meaning. you can argue both ways. i will say he developed more into trusting his siblings, even asking for their help on multiple occasions. you can tell he got more comfortable with the family he’s been missing and wishing to go back to for decades.

- Ben. Benerio. i just wanted to start off that it makes sense he wasn’t alive this season. although disappointed, when they were going back in time, none of the kids (Ben included) were born in the 60’s, so it can be argued that even if he was revived, he has no place in this timeline. you can argue none of the kids have a place there, but Five was focused on getting those around him (the alive academy) out of this timeline. Ben not being alive makes the most sense since he has passed before Five travelled. you can tell dallas made a huge tear between Ben and Klaus. i think that dallas was good for Be , even if he wasn’t alive, he got to grow as a person, even if that meant Klaus sort of forgot him and went on his own journey. i cried hysterically in the last two episodes about Ben because he’s such a genuinely caring character. i would compare his qualities to younger Vanya because when Luther locks Vanya up, Diego and Klaus say “Vanya? the one who cried when we stepped on ants as a kid?” also applies to Ben. it made me so happy when he stayed back and goes “i missed you guys” while they exposing each other for what they have done in this timeline to possibly mess it up

- Vanya went through a lot this season. i’m glad they changed the season one ending of Fove shooting her in the end and starting of the dallas storyline her being paralyzed and having amnesia. this season shows that vanya isn’t scared of her siblings anymore. for example, she got startled when Allison tried to rumor her again and accidentally hurt her, followed by apologizing profusely. this season she is unapologetically herself, saying she isn’t a disease and even leans her head on Diego in the last episode even though in last season they definitely were on rocky terms. Vanya frantically wanting to leave with Sissu and Harlan to give them a better and more accepting life in 2019 just proves how much she cares for others. the ending scene where Ben, the literal monster with tentacles basically falling out of him, telling Vanya isn’t a monster is so beautifully done. it’s also interesting how she is in way more control of her powers, even after Reginald made it seem basically impossible for her to control her emotions/ powers.

[adultswim2021]

Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law #1: "Bannon Custody Battle" December 30, 2000 - 4:30AM | S01E01 Welcome to the first episode of Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law, the first show on Adult Swim’s roster that I rejected as a substandard product. It should’ve been the Brak Show. In the opening episode, Birdman takes a case from Dr. Benton Quest, better known as Jonny Quest’s father. Race Bannon is fighting for custody of the boy, arguing that he’s a much better, much more present father figure to Jonny. Harvey Birdman was first conceptualized with an episode of Space Ghost Coast to Coast. In the episode “Pilot” we’re shown a supposed disastrous pilot episode of “Coast to Coast” where Birdman was originally attached as the star. Birdman, a depressive, out-of-work super hero, utterly botches the job as his inability to host a late-night show due to his deriving all his powers from the sun becomes more apparent. The character recurs a few more times, most notably in the episode “Sequel”, where Birdman guest-hosts the show. Still, to call this a proper Space Ghost spin-off requires carrying a big asterisk along with it. The character name “Harvey Birdman” was invented for Space Ghost, but besides both being based on the old 60s Birdman Hanna-Barbera show, they have little to do with one another. One would get almost nothing out of watching the original Space Ghost episodes before watching this (except for, you know, getting to see episodes of a much funnier show).

So in Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law you have one 60s Hanna-Barbera character as a lawyer taking court cases from various other Hanna-Barbera characters, usually of a similar vintage. In this particular episode we’re treated to a lot of jokes about the homoerotic subtext of Jonny Quest, specifically the relationship between Race Bannon and Benton Quest. The writers decide to tastefully side-step the seemingly pederast relationship between Race and Jonny. Watching the original Jonny Quest with the same attempt to subvert and recontextualize the relationships between the characters through a modern lens, a certain type of observer would probably note the amount of shirtless roughhousing Race does with Jonny. Speaking of watching Jonny Quest: I have to admit something: I never really watched Jonny Quest at all before writing this blog. I’ve had an interest in older shows and cartoons my entire life, but the entire genre of action cartoon didn’t appeal to me whatsoever when I was a kid. So last night I watched my first episode of Jonny Quest, in glorious 1080p on my new 4K television; a format it was never EVER intended to be viewed in. Jonny Quest is objectively junk. It’s fun, boyish, escapist entertainment, and there’s a lot of good irony in it, especially with it’s antiquated portrayal of other cultures from a bygone era when we were far less connected to the rest of the world. It has limited animation and simplistic design. The backgrounds look like they were painted on a post-it-note and most of the men are drawn to look like reskinned versions of Race Bannon. But there’s at least something a LITTLE charming about it. In fact, there was one moment of beautifully scripted action that absolutely won me over: Race and Jonny’s speed boat goes airborne briefly and crushes the bad guy’s boat from above as they speed towards one another. I nearly cheered when it happened. I knew The Venture Bros took liberally from Jonny Quest, but the coolest action sequences on that show seemed to be striving for the same exact visceral reaction I got from seeing Race crunch up some lizard men on a boat. Birdman is a similar deal: He was a cookie-cutter imitation of comic book heroes from the silver-age of comics (the obvious comparison here is DC’s Hawkman). I actually did watch a Birdman adventure late last night as I was falling asleep to follow up on Jonny Quest, but it felt less important. I can remember checking out the original Birdman on DVD not too long ago. Also, your typical Harvey Birdman usually focuses on jokes about shows other than Birdman. Still, it’s neat to see those characters in their original context, as well as that Hanna-Barbera stock-explosion animation we all know and love from Space Ghost blowing up Zorak on Coast-to-Coast. Also the episode I watched will be heavily referenced later, but not for this. I only watched the first episode of Jonny Quest taking a cue from my friend Kon who noted that most of the references in “Bannon Custody Battle” are directly from the first episode. The most specific (and funniest) scene in the whole show involves the Lizard Men, the main villains of that first installment. Other characters show up very briefly, and are all ones that appear in the opening sequence. Unless I find out differently (I’ll probably try to make my way through the rest of Quest in preparation for Venture Bros.), it really does seem like the writers just watched the first episode of Jonny Quest to write this show. Watching this episode of Harvey Birdman was like batting away an existential crisis. I remember vaguely at the time not being SUPER hot on this show, but I cut it a lot of slack and trusted that it would simply get funnier. I wanted to love all the shows on Adult Swim. Anyway, I went from being lukewarm on Birdman, to hating it. Reading my own earlier review of Birdman I blasted this episode for being homophobic. I used to have a very low tolerance for gay jokes, back when they were highly in fashion. But now that we live an era where there’s an arms race to find new ways to scold one another for perceived slights gay jokes can sometimes, NOT ALWAYS, be a little refreshing to hear. The fact that my stance on gay jokes can change as long as it’s in direct-opposition with the rest of the world is at least a little troubling. Does this mean I’m an inauthentic reactionary? Yes. Yes it does. There, I admitted it. Now, let me off the hook, please. I say that sorta jokingly. The gay jokes in this are mostly pretty lame, and come off like Mike Scully-era Simpsons gay jokes. The early scene at the beginning where Birdman eyes widen when he’s misunderstanding the nature of Dr. Quest’s and Race Bannon’s relationship really does come off as early 90′s homophobia. I remember it seemed out of place at the time. I’m sure it played just fine in the midwest, but the show didn’t really put it’s best foot forward with that. Speaking of lame jokes, this episode has a few that have nothing to do with insulting gay people. One of my least favorite bits involve the specific gag of undercutting a dramatic moment with characters fumbling around awkwardly in true-to-life fashion. Why, if a person tried to recreate a dramatic sting you’d see before a commercial break in real life, you’re right, it’d probably go awkwardly! But this 11 minute show has at least 3 explicit examples of this, and it’s only mildly amusing once:

Bannon dramatically walks out on Dr. Quest, after announcing his intention to take Jonny with him. He awkwardly comes back because he forgot his keys

Birdman dramatically argues with a rival prosecutor and summons his personal digital assistant, and then awkwardly fumbles with it

Birdman proves that the Race Bannon on the witness stand is actually a robot by unplugging him, but he accidentally pulls the wrong cord and has to spend a few seconds untangling and retracing the correct cord.

Another thing about Birdman is that there is usually a lack of strong jokes. The show usually includes a layer of comedy where there are simply characters who simply have odd, scattered speech patterns or odd ticks. The rival lawyer in this slurs his speech in a particular way: cut to the jury looking confused. That’s the joke. The Judge grumbles in an ornery fashion and generally acts like he doesn’t wanna be there. He says stuff that sounds like bad improv. That’s the joke. The show will only ocassionally come up with jokes to justify these character traits. It’s just silliness that doesn’t usually go anywhere. But, I do kinda like some things about this episode. It was animated by J.J. Sedelmaier, known for early digital animation seen in the crude era of Beavis and Butt-head and SNL’s TV Funhouse. They really do have their own style of comic timing, and there are some gags in this where the animation works in their favor. There are some jokes where the drawings really sell the comedy. I’m not sure if I liked this animation better or worse, but it does match the oddly-stilted Jonny Quest animation better than the episodes that came after this would have. Oh, one of the funniest bits not on the show was when I popped in the DVD I forgot that the menu music is Wesley Willis’ “Birdman Kicked My Ass”. If I were in high school when the DVD came out I would have loved it just for that reason. Same could be said “Jonny Quest Thinks We’re Sell-Outs” by Less Than Jake. I was an easily impressed kid.

[krosaceae]

1, 3, 5, 15 :)

Fanfic Writer Questions! Feel free to send me an ask :)

Thanks a ton for the ask! I'll be answering all these in regards to Barriers, quite possibly the world's most self-indulgent Graire fic (Read on AO3 or FFN)

1. If you had to create a soundtrack for your story, what songs would you choose? Why?

Damn, this is so hard considering how much music I listen to while writing/planning Barriers. I do name my chapters after songs that inspired me while writing said chapter, so I figure my soundtrack would end up being those songs. 

There are over 20 songs on that bad boy, and I already feel like this post is going to be long, so you can view/listen to the playlist HERE! I’ll continue updating it as I post new chapters :-)

As for why I picked these songs… or really why I pick any of the songs on any of my playlists. It’s all about the feels, how the music and the lyrics come together to take me to a place I need to go to be creative. You know the feel you get when you listen to a song, and it just reminds you of an emotion, a place, a memory, etc.? I’m not sure if that makes sense lol, but the mood that a song creates in my little Brain World helps me find words to put on the page. Music a lot of the time helps interface Brain Scenes into Written Word, and these songs above did just that… and happened to have names that I enjoyed as chapter titles lmao. 

Either way, I do have some Barriers playlists that I will shamelessly plug here.

Gray’s playlist

Claire’s playlist

The ~Graire~ playlist

Rest is under the cut because ya girl went in hehe

3. If you had to direct a scene from your fic, what would you choose? Why? What would it look like? What techniques would you use to convey certain emotions? What would the set look like?

Oooh. Hands down Chapter 8, the Fireworks Festival, particularly when Gray finds out that Claire’s pregnant. AH. Such an emotional scene and I would love to take advantage of the fireworks in the background. I’ll be honest that I don’t watch very many movies, and I’m not a director in the slightest, so I have no idea what the fuck I’m talking about.

So obviously our set is Claire’s farm at night. I imagine everything dark and quiet outside, the only light being Claire’s house. Almost shooting that bitch like a scary movie at first because like, Gray is terrified and I’d want viewers to feel that same way.

When Gray finally finds Claire and she’s on the verge of losing her shit, you zoom in on the tears, the soaked blanket, just Claire’s general state of disarray (which at this point, is out of character for the way she's presented herself) the way she grips Gray’s shirt, etc. And once she finally starts talking I picture the camera just focused on the two of them, because Gray is on the edge of his seat waiting to find out what the fuck is going on and doesn’t see ANYTHING else. Plus the booming fireworks going off in the back just as the situation is getting more intense. Claire would say that she’s pregnant and then the screen would go black lmao.

5. What makes your main ship so compatible? Or, what makes them so incompatible? What do they see in each other?

Oooh. This is complicated, because right now where I’m currently at in the fic it could go either way. As much as I would LOVE to spoil everything, I’m going to speak only for where I’m at in the story.

Gray and Claire are quite compatible at their best, v incompatible at their worst. When the two of them both get out of their head and are real with the other, they work well together. Both are sarcastic, sassy, witty, and have similar senses of humor. They both appreciate the value of hard work and dedication to their craft, and overall, want to be successful in life by their own means. In addition to liking the way the other makes them feel and just like… generally finding the other attractive, I think Claire and Gray admire the other’s drive and passion to some degree. They feel like having someone like that around them (whether it be a friend or… y’know, something else >.>) helps them stay on track. Additionally, some of the things they experienced before moving to town, in addition to experiencing the whole pregnancy thing together, helps them connect and understand each other in ways that maybe others around them can’t. Neither of them likes to be judged, so at times this is conducive to them feeling safe enough to confide things in the other that they may not do with anyone else.

However, Claire and Gray are both also really fucking good at building walls (Hence the name of the fic lol.) and spend a lot of time either hiding, running, or pushing people away. At their worst, their relationship is a grease fire. Both have a tendency to mask how they’re actually feeling for various reasons, despite both of them ALSO valuing honesty from others. It's the hypocrisy for me. Claire’s gut reaction is usually to tell people what she thinks they want to hear, lying for the sake of self-preservation because GOD FORBID she be rejected or be perceived negatively. Gray’s gut reaction is to do or say nothing. He fears vulnerability and doesn’t want to be seen as weak, so if he’s not consciously thinking about it, he’s going to say and do whatever will keep the illusion that he’s got it together. Which is just usually acting unbothered and pushing everything down until he’s beyond bothered. The main issue is that they both also say and do things they don’t mean when upset, and it doesn’t help that for some reason Claire seems to really get under Gray’s skin, and vice versa. Their arguing styles are pretty combative, so without any framework for de-escalating the situation, shit can get pretty nasty between them. Especially when jealousy and other complicated feelings get involved. *Wink wink*

15. Pick a previous relationship (or multiple) of your character’s. Explain how that/those impact the way they navigate their way through relationships now.

Hehe. I’d love to talk about Claire’s previous relationship(s), but I’m going to focus on Gray because he’s the main character and like, major spoilers.

Gray and Mary though. Ah. What a beautifully confusing clusterfuck. There was a lot of push/pull in Mary and Gray’s relationship, and it's intentionally confusing in the fic. Idk if any of you have ever had a friend that you’re really close with, one that you’re crazy about, and you know they like you too, but for whatever reason, they don’t actually want to be exclusive or make it official? Whatever the kids are calling it nowadays. But like yeah. Both loved having the other around and hated the idea of losing them to someone else, even if they couldn’t have them. So on top of their actual friendship was a ‘relationship’ based on impulsive, desperate acts of affection, wobbly boundaries, and evading any actual conversations about it all.

For that reason, Gray is determined to be more open about how he’s feeling rather than sucking it up for the sake of not being lonely. He’s trying to be more honest and expressive instead of holding it all in moving forward, as scary as it is for him. Gray’s relatively been a man of inaction in his relationships (even before Mary), and when he did act, it was usually backed by anger, alcohol, or both. Basically the dude is just trying to take control of his relationships rather than being a passenger.

WHEW. That was a blast! I definitely wrote too much but I super appreciate the ask! <3