#their work in general so i'll officially stop trying for the sake of my well-being

[luckystrike-x]

.

[mcgrillzdumpinc]

I'll likely make a more in depth post once I've read through all the translated light novels but

Hello Apothecary Diaries fans I am in volume 8 and would like to reassure you about the choking scene from volume 5

Spoilers under the cut!

Okay so there's a scene at the end of volume 5 (the manga is not there yet) that many have interpreted as sexual assault. For the sake of those sensitive to such topics, I'm going to give a light on spoilers version of the scene and then an in depth analysis. Personally, I do not view the scene as sexual assault, but it is very forceful and carries A LOT of very sad subtext. You'll understand what I'm getting at in the more depth part.

So, the general gist of the choking scene.

MaoMao and Jinshi are in the garden to escape a banquet. They talk for a bit about a very scary incident that occurred that day (thankfully nobody was killed) and share casual conversation. Then Jinshi brings up that they're at this banquet to find him a wife. I won't spoil the specifics, but fyi MaoMao has been wearing an accessory this whole time that loudly announces (to everyone except herself, of course) that She's The Favorite™. Despite how obvious Jinshi has been with his intentions, including holding her hand and combing his other fingers through her hair while mentioning the whole wife thing, MaoMao evades him while thinking "I'm not capable of love". So, she tries to dodge him by offering up another woman. This is what causes Jinshi to snap and choke her, as well as hold one of her arms behind her back to stop her from fighting back.

He doesn't kill her. As far as damage to her throat, the text doesn't indicate any. He then leans his weight on her. MaoMao then remembers how she was taught sex techniques against her will be the Verdigris House women & decides to use those techniques against Jinshi. She then promptly leaves and Jinshi feels like the most pathetic man in world.

The two don't interact beyond official matters until towards the end of volume 6. Jinshi brings more rare medicine in lieu of an apology. The two talk around the wife situation again and MaoMao gets tickled. It isn't until volume 7 that they have an actual conversation breakthrough.

That's my light on spoilers version of the events. Now I'll give a more in depth version, that's honestly a good chunk of my own meta-analysis around the events of volume 5.

Honestly, volume 5 is full of really interesting scenes regarding Jinshi and MaoMao. This is the first volume after Jinshi has been forced back into Imperial Brother status, yet the first thing I noticed that actually changed between JinMao is how MaoMao takes initiative with him now. As soon as she learns an insect plague might be on the horizon, she dives into unprompted research and delivers her findings to Jinshi. She's no longer working at the palace or for Jinshi, but she still takes on the extra burden. She also takes initiative to get Jinshi some extra sleep (though she misinterprets his desire to not sleep alone). And later in the novel, when they're in the paper makers' village, MaoMao acts so cute when reapplying Jinshi's burn scar makeup. I'll let screenshots talk for me.

Like man. She's so cute. And I wonder, if these two didn't have to deal with social standing and imperial drama, would we get way more of them just being cute and companionable? If MaoMao wasn't an unwitting member of the Who Wants To Be An Imperial Princess race, would her feelings for Jinshi have grown without so much pushing and urgency on his end?

But I digress. I think a lot of volume 5, especially once they reach their travel destination, is MaoMao trying her best to keep her blinders on even though she is in the thick of imperial drama. She's especially desperate with regards to the blazingly obvious fact that a certain someone of very high status is in love with her. I think the end of chapter 6 does a very good job of driving home one of the major reasons why MaoMao is reluctant to trust Jinshi's feelings.

To add fuel onto this unfortunate fire is that MaoMao, as an unmarried courtesan's daughter, was attacked as an infant by her mother, sought after by fucking Lakan of all people, ignored while crying as a baby, and forcibly taught sex (to the point of tears!). She also had to cover for Luomen's own eccentricities, specifically ensuring they had enough money to feed themselves. MaoMao, to put it shortly, has been taught not to believe she can attain anything beyond her very simple life of being a lowly apothecary.

And then here's Jinshi who, as a prince, has been forced to grow up fast & have all his favorite things taken away from him. I think MaoMao is the first time he ever wanted a person. He is, for lack of a better word, obsessed with her. I think a lot of his pushiness & tendency to be clingy with her is him desperately trying to make sure he doesn't lose her. If he makes her his wife, then, well, she can't leave.

And I think the choking scene is him finally at his breaking point. At this point, he has lavished her with gifts, been very forward sexually with her twice, and given her a new hairpin that is essentially this story's version of a promise ring. It's MaoMao's repression/reluctance vs. Jinshi's desperation and so far she's winning.

But then she pushes him past his breaking point and he takes physical action against her. MaoMao responds by performing an unspecified sexual act on him.

So why don't I personally take this scene as sexual assault?

Mainly because I think the people actually guilty of sexual assault her are the Verdigris House women who forced MaoMao to learn sex.

As far as I understand it, whether MaoMao can actually say no to Jinshi is left up to interpretation. If we're talking on social status terms, she can't say no. But if you look at Jinshi's overall treatment of her, both before and after this scene, I very much think MaoMao can say no and instead chooses to defuse the situation.

Because what isn't for interpretation, however, is MaoMao's abysmal impression of what love and sex can actually be for her. So she defuses a situation by using sex, something she herself doesn't like, and doesn't allow Jinshi to reciprocate, which leaves him feeling terrible, too.

I want to be clear. I do think Jinshi is in the wrong for physically attacking MaoMao. But the sexual portion of the scene, at least to me, falls squarely on the shoulders of MaoMao's fucked up backstory.

Anyway, I think I've typed for long enough. I am using the official translations of the light novel for this analysis, so if any fans have access to alternate translations or WN only knowledge that throw my analysis in the trash bin, please let me know (fyi puedo leer el español).

[troutfur]

🌊River - Theories for the new series (or SE!)

(Ask game here! Continue sending them in, I'll be here all week.)

OK! Here's my Official predictions for A Starless Clan. Bookmark this so we can check back in in like 2 years and see just how wrong or right I was.

Nightheart and Sunbeam will explode and it will be glorious

More of a hope than a prediction because I can see them staying together, unfortunately, but with the way their relationship is developing I fail to see how that's a more interesting path than them falling out. Their relationship is built on an unsteady ground of wallowing in their self pity and finding comfort in each other in hopes it solves all their issues rather than going out and confronting them.

I've said before I ship them but it's in the same way I could be considered to "ship" all those ships I suggested on the secret half-sibling reveal prompt I submitted to the Warrior Cats Rarepair Collection. I do care on some level about the romantic chemistry of the characters involved and I don't want to read about an entirely bad romance. But the main event is not the relationship, it's the moment it all breaks down and we see the emotional fallout.

Tigerstar done fucked up big time

Leaving aside the morality of interventionist politics like this, I don't see an universe in which this was a good move politically. Like, I get the guy's intentions even if I think he should really learn to take no for an answer. But with dissent among his clan brewing and governing over a population not only sure to resent foreign rule but carrying generational trauma regarding the last Tigerstar...

Like, even if Berryheart doesn't use this as an opportunity to pull some shenanigans and RiverClan remains well behaved, this whole operation's explicit goal is to strengthen a faction on the border. You can NOT tell me this doesn't end with a rebuilt RiverClan being a constant thorn on ShadowClan's side. It simply wasn't politically very wise.

The trauma conga line just doesn't stop for poor Frostpaw

We all see it coming don't we? Girlie needs a rest already but she's been cursed to live in interesting times. For her sake I'm half hoping she bails on the medicine cat position. My only concern in that situation would be Mothwing either ascending to leadership or also falling dead. In which case I can see a very reluctant Frostpaw doing her best to try and refuse continuing.

I know people hate the trend of medicine cats never wanting the job but look. It's kinda fucked up that kids as young as equivalent age 12 get to decide to swear themselves to celibacy is it not? And it's specially fucked up StarClan constantly pressures them into it.

I for one have enormous amounts of sympathy for them and even very personal empathy as someone. I used to be so devoutly Catholic my family was only half-joking about me growing up to become a priest. I know if I could've decided about it at that age I would've made the worst decision of my life.

Graypaw and Mistpaw are not becoming fully developed characters

I'm holding out hope and celebrating every crumb we get because I'm the sibling dynamics guy and I need to have things to hold on to. But being realistic for a second I'm not seeing this one. It was a damn miracle they showed as much as they did in Sky, and I think my luck may be running thin. I think fanworks will have to do it for me. Very recently I noticed the Frostpaw & Graypaw & Mistpaw tag got canonized on Ao3 and I'll read those meager two fanfics there are about them and maybe I'll write some of my own. My realistic hope at this point is that the Erins give me something to work with.

The murder mystery is going to be solved very stupidly

Sorry for being a downer about this, fellas, but so far I can't piece out a sensible way for this one to resolve and I'm getting a feeling the writing team is winging it. I could still be proven wrong, perhaps the next books are going to reveal information that will make it click. But if by the fourth one the solution still eludes me as much, I think I'll have to give up any hopes it will resolve satisfactorily.

[nias-nook]

Hey I stumbled on a few MF fics of yours some times, I didn't know you took requests!

May I ask what type of requests you take/don't take (apart of morally unacceptable ones, that is)? What are your thoughts on x readers? Do you do pairings/ships? If so, which ones? What tropes do you like writing the most and the least? How much do you follow and ignore of the official canon? Do you have any favorite characters or any that you are more close to? Which? And lastly, for the sake of taking that out of the way, how do you feel about NSFW?

I'm sorry if those are too many questions and you are completely free to not reply to any/all of them. I'm just curious to know more of the fanfic writers of the fandom (especially the ones who do asks, these deserve to be seen a lot)

Hello! Thanks so much for sending an ask in; I'll try and answer these as comprehensively as possible and hope the read more feature works because this is going to be long!

In terms of what I will write, I'm pretty flexible! Angst, fluff, romance, I like to keep my options open tonally!

I've never written x readers and I can't say I have a huge interest in doing so in the future. Respect to people who do, though! There's clearly a huge market for it and I do have a level of nostalgia for that kind of contnet.

When it comes to Metal Family, my taste in ships is incredibly milquetoast. I'm a huge Glam/Vicky and Glam/Ches enjoyer! I also like Dee/Lif in an 'aww, these kids are so lame, they deserve each other' way.

Oooh, tropes! Well, if my works are anything to go by, I'm a sucker for flashbacks (do they count as a trope? I'm gonna say yes). Mutual pining is super fun, and I generally love writing anything with a lot of banter. On the flip side, I'm not a big fan of slow burn or enemies to lovers. I don't tend to think in 'tropes', I guess! Everything can be pulled off amazingly or failed miserably, so I try not to judge a story based on what tropes may be present.

I adhere to canon pretty strictly where I can. I know a lot of people like to mold characters for their stories and put them in extreme scenarios, but I prefer to work with what's already established! Which is pretty tough with an ongoing show like MF, where anything I've written could be contradicted by a later episode at any given time. The official comic says the Freaks' original recording space was in Lordi's house and not Bob's like I mentioned in my fic, Gettin' The Band Together!, and it tears me up inside.

My favourite character is, to no one's surprise, Glam! I've written several fics about him already and I don't plan on stopping any time soon. I'd say he's my main favourite to write, but characters like Lydia and Ches really surprised me with how much I ended up loving writing them.

As for NSFW? I can't say I have any plans to dip my toe into that kind of thing at the moment; I CANNOT imagine being any good at writing it and frankly I don't have a whole lot of interest. I'll leave that kind of content to the pros.

Okay, this is probably WAY more thorough than you wanted, I kinda underestimated how much I was going to ramble. But I hope this is the kind of answer you were looking for! I actually had a LOT of fun answering these, I'd love more questions like these in the future!

[bloededhoine]

world building cause twn doesn't part 12: the hen ichaer

i realize i've been mentioning the hen ichaer without really explaining it, and for that i apologize. but without further ado, let's go

colour code cause i fucking love colour codes - already happened/introduced, probably s2, important background info, stuff that might be in the prequel, extras

series masterpost

general

the hen ichaer is basically a magical gene that originated with the elven sorceress, scholar, and princess, lara dorren aep shiadhal

it can lie dormant or inactive for generations, but when someone is an activated carrier of the gene, they are called a source

sources have an insane capability for magic, it's so intense that without instruction they are a huge danger to themselves and/or others. remember pavetta's betrothal feast? hurricanes should not happen indoors

same thing with ciri's sonic scream.

obviously, the hen ichaer is highly weaponize-able, but it's difficult to put this into theory since the magic is so strong that it can easily kill the person who carries it

most important is that the hen ichaer can open ard gaeth, the gates between worlds. you may remember that the witcher is a multiverse, and the continent is just one of countless worlds

aen elle

the aen elle, elves who live in another world called tir ná lia, controlled at least one gate that they used to get slaves from other worlds

however, this was before the hen ichaer was seriously studied. unicorns are also capable of opening ard gaeth, and were present in tir ná lia, so the aen elle would kidnap them to be used as their world-hopping-genocide key. yeah, the aen elle are seriously fucked

the king of the aen elle was named auberon muircetach, and he was very well known for his wars with the unicorns, who weren't too keen on being enslaved for the purpose of conquering other worlds

the hen ichaer came into play when auberon noticed that his daughter, lara dorren, had pretty intense magical abilities. like, ard gaeth opening abilities.

auberon, lara, and a few other elves began studying the gene and trying to figure out how it works and how to use it.

through this study is how we got the title aen saevherne, which is used to distinguish an elven mage with extensive knowledge of history, science, magic, and, most importantly, the elder blood.

both lara and auberon were aen saevherne, as was lara's husband-to-be, avallac'h, and avallac'h's foster son, caranthir ar-feiniel

ithlinne's prophecy

ithlinne aegli aep aevenien was an elven prophet known for her incredibly dark prophecies that she delivered at totally random times. how dark were they? ithlinne's prophecies were almost exclusively about the death of all humanity and/or the end of the world. she was fun at parties.

anyway, when we talk about ithlinne we really only mean one specific prophecy, aen ithlinnespeath. to be confusing it's usually referred to as ithlinne's prophecy

here's the prophecy itself:

Verily I say unto you, the era of the sword and axe is nigh, the era of the wolf's blizzard. The Time of the White Chill and the White Light is nigh, the Time of Madness and the Time of Contempt: Tedd Deireádh, the Time of End. The world will die amidst frost and be reborn with the new sun. It will be reborn of Elder Blood, of Hen Ichaer, of the seed that has been sown. A seed which will not sprout but burst into flame. Ess'tuath esse! Thus it shall be! Watch for the signs! What signs these shall be, I say unto you: first the earth will flow with the blood of Aen Seidhe, the Blood of Elves...

what does that mean? well, the white chill (aka the white frost) is a massive ice age that has been approaching the continent for years. don't believe me? the white frost has destroyed countless worlds in the past, and it literally cannot be stopped. the only way to save the world is by the power of the hen ichaer.

here's a perfectly frightening visual of the white frost

ithlinne didn't elaborate on the how, but we now know that the only to survive the white frost is by finding a new world and massively evacuating the continent through ard gaeth, which can only be opened by the power of the hen ichaer.

genetics

clearly, the hen ichaer is important enough to literally save, or end, the world, but the aen elle did a famously terrible job of studying it. like, you'd think they'd be good at that, but no. to their credit, it is a bit complicated

first, there are multiple types of elder blood genes, the main gene, the latent gene, and the activator gene. to actually show the powers of the hen ichaer, someone would need to either have one latent and one activator, or the main gene.

let's go back to secondary school biology for a second, remember punnet squares? these fuckers

the letters in a punnet square represent a genotype, or the two alleles that are inherited from the parents. phenotypes, on the other hand, are what you see on the outside. for example, a genotype would be Aa but a phenotype would be brown eyes.

while the main gene is a simple dominant allele (shown by a capital letter on a punnet square), both the latent and activator genes are semi-dominant, meaning that when they meet they create a new phenotype: the innate magical ability that makes you a source.

it gets a little less scientific here so bear with me; this new phenotype is so powerful that it sometimes creates a whole new genotype. so instead of having one activator gene and one latent gene, the two would merge and you'd be left with only one (very powerful) main gene. this is the only single gene that actually has magic and it's a dominant gene, so you only need to have one to have the power.

but, the latent and activator genes don't always combine. you still have the full powers when they stay separate, but it is then less likely to pass the hen ichaer your children.

complicated? very much so. but in practice it's a lot easier.

for simplicity's sake i'll call the activator gene g/a, latent gene g/L, main gene g/m and a regular nonmutated gene g/r. to be a source, the genes you inherit would be g/a g/L, but they may combine to be just g/m. your average person would be g/r g/r and a carrier would be either g/a g/r or g/L g/r.

clearly, this makes tracking it pretty messy, since generations of people can be carriers without having a single source

tracking the hen ichaer

for now, let's do what those elven sages couldn't and track then hen ichaer, starting with lara dorren

eventually, lara met an exceptionally talented human mage, cregennan of lod, and they were lab partners (oh my god they were lab partners) in the study of the hen ichaer.

eventually, lara met an exceptionally talented human mage, cregennan of lod, and they were lab partners (oh my god they were lab partners) in the study of the hen ichaer.

for all the studying, lara and cregennan's own genes have always been something of a mystery. elven mages don't tend to have any issues with using themselves as lab rats, so it's entirely possible that lara and cregennan, knowingly or not, mutated their own genes in their research.

ultimately, it doesn't matter what lara and cregennan's genes originally were. by some happy little accident, the two eventually ended up with at least one activator gene and at least one latent gene between them.

later, when lara and cregennan made their own happy little accident, riannon, she inherited one of each gene (g/a g/L), making her a source. however, riannon's genes did not combine as the elves expected, which made her a little harder to study.

riannon eventually met king goidemar of temeria (g/r g/r), and they had two children named fiona and amavet. i'll start with fiona, who the aen elle managed to figure out had the latent gene, making her g/L r

fiona ended up having a baby with king coram II of cintra (g/r g/r), they named him corbett, and he inherited fiona's g/L and one of coram's g/r.

the aen elle lost track of the hen ichaer when they studied riannon's other kid amavet. see, amavet was kind of a whore. he had twins, muriel and crispin, with the married countess anna kameny. obviously, these children weren't legitimate, and when the angry count kameny murdered amavet a few months later, he was officially childless

the elves did, however, manage to figure out that amavet had riannon's g/a gene and goidemar's g/r gene. anna kameny was just g/r g/r, and crispin ended up being g/r g/r as well. destiny does favour the hen ichaer, but sometimes it's just not meant to be. muriel, on the other hand, did inherit her father's activator gene and was g/a g/r.

let's hop back to corbett, fiona and coram's g/L g/r son. he and princess elen of kaedwen (g/r g/r) had a son, dagorad, who got corbett's latent gene and one of elen's regular ones, meaning he was g/L g/r

muriel married robert of garramore (g/r g/r), and their daughter adalia, the dramatically posed lady right there, had the same genetic combination as her mother, g/a g/r

this is where it gets even weirder

the lovely adalia married dagorad. her second cousin. they shared riannon as their great grandmother. feel better in the fact that it was not intentional, adalia's mother, muriel, was not officially riannon's granddaughter. no one would have even known, but adalia's g/a met up with dagorad's g/L in their daughter, calanthe

for the first time since riannon, the hen ichaer was back, and calanthe's parents genes combined to give her g/m g/r

while it took generations of destiny and accidental incest to make the hen ichaer happen again, now that calanthe had the main gene there was a 50% chance she would pass it to her child, which, of course, she did

calanthe and her husband roegner (g/r g/r) had pavetta, who inherited the g/m from her mother. no one knew about this until pavetta literally created a source hurricane, and was already pregnant

pavetta and duny's (g/r g/r) daughter, ciri, inherited the main gene from her mother and was a source.

sources

it's important to note that a source is not necessarily an incredibly powerful sorcerer, merely a person who has the genetic predisposition required to channel very intense magic

sources, like anyone else, can be bad students, allergic to potions, or just generally averse to magic on all levels except heredity. there is also no way to guarantee that even the most willing source will be good at using magic, in fact it's far more common that they will be really really bad at it. sources are extra susceptible to the chaotic state of magic in the world, and many end up pretty seriously harmed by it.

magical talent tends to make itself known in very emotional situations, like the death of a parent or a war. the same applies for sources, but they have an extra rule: their full powers are off limits until they lose their virginities

now, netflix has not mentioned that rule to be true or false, but i'm going to think of it as strictly book/game/etc canon, because ciri is 10 years old when netflix shows her using her source powers for the first time

the virginity rule makes things even more complicated, as customs about premarital sex are pretty strict in the witcher world (well, among nobility), and the dudes didn't seem to have fast reflexes. what i'm saying is that getting pregnant the first time you had sex was not uncommon. sources couldn't even use, and likely weren't aware of, their powers until they were already passing them on to another generation.

and even still, there is no guarantee that someone who is a source will ever actually show their powers. calanthe had the genetics, but she wasn't a mage. what happened? we don't really know. after calanthe married, cintra was pretty peaceful; there were no invasions or massive upheavals that could put enough stress on her to show her powers. plus, her parents didn't know she had any magical powers, so they didn't give her the training that would develop them, and she was a very level headed person who would likely be unaffected by many of the things that would make another source lose their shit.

[yomiurinikei]

Nikei and/or Yuki asking the other one out headcanons please! I need more lucky pen in my life.

*sips juice* this was requested months ago hi anon i'm so sorry /gen (i'll add tags when i'm off my. second flight)

~*~

•yuuki is absolutely terrified of outright asking nikei out directly. he can't do anything but find excuses to invite him over

•it's so fucking bad,,, just ask the boy to dinner or something for christ's sake????

•nikei, when yuuki invites him to hang out: okay. this should be a good chance to investigate and be sure i know how to ask him out when the time is right

•meanwhile to yuuki, this is the ninth "kinda date" they've had, and he's trying to gauge if he should outright ask to plan their next date at the end of this one, or if it's too early to use the d word

•shinji listens to yuuki question if he should be more forward, and immediately flashes back to when he overheard nikei asking the CoU if they think what he's been doing with yuuki counts as a date

•shinji winces, yuuki takes that to be a no, and we see absolutely zero progress on the rom-com situation

•speaking of the CoU tho, it's like... 75% their fault that nikeis so clueless

•he was so so so certain maeda was making a move, but they all went "mmmm idk bro :///" so he keeps scrapping the idea

•"he said it felt like we were a couple when we were getting photographed by that team that came in to write about hopes peak daily life" "yea, a couple of besties 🙄🙄🙄" "oh huh"

•aiko to the rescue!!!

•she comes by the school one day, bring ur parent to school day or smthn hpa is fucking weird- (it's a boarding school i can imagine she'd want to see her son at the vv best school ever)

•and just innocently asks nikei "oh u and yuuki are together, right? has he been treating you well? did you enjoy your date last weekend? he wouldn't stop telling me abt it :]"

•nikei politely says he had a lovely time, then excused himself to go screech at the CoU

•half in joy because "holy fuck i was right" and half in anger because "holy fuck i was right and you bitches told me i wasn't"

•yuuki returns from wherever and "👁👁 mom?????" when aiko happily says she approves of nikei and thinks they're good together so far

•so he takes that as confirmation that nikei worked things out!!!!

•things aren't too much different? nikeis a bit more affectionate now, and yuuki brushes off nikeis initial hesitance as "oh he's just confused after being called my bf :)"

•a bit later they're trying to make plans for their one month anniversary and can't decide on when that is

•and so all is revealed!!! they're both embarrassed as fuck tbh

•but!!! they decide to make the day of the aiko incident their official anniversary/day they got together! hooray!

•cue nikei finally asking yuuki out :D he wants to plan the date and surprise yuuki for their one month!!!!

•when yuuki asks nikei out it's a lot of working out when they're free, what they wanna do, what's available, etc etc

•with nikei it's. generally a surprise for yuuki!!

•"ditch ur plans" "why" "come to my mysterious date" "nikei i can't do that" "fake ass bitch......." "HEY"

•sometimes it's a surprise for both of them. nikei will just b wandering around looking for smthn to do and then try to come up with plans on the spot

•yuuki rlly likes it when they do stuff together, while nikei is more a fan of being able to do his own thing, near yuuki!

•so a lot of their dates involve going out to go do smthn, then get back to someone's dorm and just vibe!!

•no matter what tho, they always have fun, and by now, they know to actually call it a fucking date-

[snk-smartpass]

SOURCE: Attack on Titan: Short Stories 2

TRANSLATION: Ko Ransom

Late Night Stories Vol. 13 Erwin Smith "A Human Story"

Soldiers gathered around a table bearing a mountain of documents. Their respective ranks--Captain, Squad Leader--were embroidered on the breast of each of their uniforms.

"…All of this year-end work is miserable every time we have to do it."

"That's why we all get together and take care of it like this, so that no one shirks their responsibility."

Squad Leaders who led the Survey Corps filled the room, together with their aides. There were busy putting together activity reports, expense reports, and other types of documents to be submitted at the end of the year to the upper ranks of the organization, as well as to the government officials who stood above them.

"No matter how we do it, it's making me sleepy… Right?"

While Mike had been coolly and silently going through his documents, he put a hand to his head and sighed, a rarity for him. His aide did the same before beginning to talk.

"There's no helping that. Expeditions generally take place in the afternoons, so we're not night owls. We should just keep talking like this to stave off any drowsiness."

"That's a good idea," Erwin agreed with mussed hair, facing the most documents of all as the Survey Corps's Commander.

******

"Oh, Captain Levi is trying to expense tea again."

"Tch… Are Survey Corpsmen just pawns to you? Don't we have the rights to do something human every once in a while?"

Erwin forced a laugh as he took the application for one of what could be called Levi's few luxuries and put his stamp on it.

"Levi's right… I'll allow this. Your research microscope too, Hange."

"Speaking of which, do you have any hobbies like that, Erwin? Like favorite foods, or maybe sewing?"

Erwin seemed to think as he answered the question posed to him, his hands moving all the while.

"Well, I focus on resting during my days off… It's a hard question."

******

"It's pointless to expect a human answer out of this guy. Don't you know that, Four-Eyes?"

"Erwin's human, too. At least he looks that way to me. So he might just be forgetting! What about when you were in the Training Corps?"

The words "Training Corps" suddenly made Erwin reminisce. He thought of the days of his youth, before the Walls were destroyed, when he was still striving to become a Survey Corpsman…

"Yes… Because there was still so much life in the streets back then. There was a pub the Training Corps went to often."

"That's surprising. You seemed to me like someone who didn't drink much unless he was forced to meet with supporters," Hange's aide cut in. Erwin agreed with a tinge of happiness in his eyes.

"Yes, because we were kids. I couldn't drink much, anyway. But we had fun causing a ruckus in the pub, because we felt more like adults just by doing that…"

******

"So you were at an age where you wanted to act older than you were. I get it, I used to intentionally read difficult textbooks when I was a kid!"

"But once I actually became an adult, I wasn't in a position where I could do that anymore. Ironic, isn't it…?"

"Yeah. All of that acting older never ended up being anything more than just that--acting."

Everyone let out a sympathetic sigh as they wrote numbers and signed their documents.

A gruff voice tore through the momentary silence.

"Hey, Erwin. When did you start holding back and not doing the things you wanted to do? You're able to think up that many strategies for the Corps, and yet you can't figure out a way to do what you want on your days off?"

"Oh! That's true! You make a good point, Levi. All right, if that's the case, then let's go to the pub after this! Mike, Moblit, you'll be coming too, right?"

"…B-But do you think the pub will still be open by the time we're finished?"

Though it was already nighttime, Hange's eyes gleamed as they tried to turn Levi's words into actions. They had no sign of stopping to think of their aide's concerns.

"We'll get it done, for Erwin's sake!"

"Sheesh… Fine, I'll try to do as much as I can."

The way that his comrades tried to take care of him reminded him of his Training Corps days from long, long ago. As Erwin shrugged, he also found himself smiling.

[istanhooman]

I'm going to be making head canons and the like on these characters by @yesimahooman

Totallyahooman, the owner of these characters, said I should make a post about her characters so you all know what you're getting into hehe. They're all cats btw, and I'm on my phone so there's going to be mistakes. Most likely.

Apparently these characters are called the "meme team" because Totally made four of them (Toby, Oliver, Gingerale, and Milo) for an animation meme and fell in love. They didn't even have names until like a month later ig lmao

Toby: He's really friendly, but unlike Two-Tone understands boundaries - even if he's a little hyper and annoying. Toby will happily drop anything for his friends. Basically the generic "good guy" Character (But Totally says he had an edgy phase in a cat's version of teen years). He has three little sisters, who always insisted on playing with him, which didn't work well with his edgy phase. Totally told me he doesn't have a father, but he has a mother that looks a lot like him and she's the sweetest darling ever. Toby's the peach-ish, brown and white one.

Two-Tone: Speaking of Two-Tone, the wittle baby man omg I love him. Totally said he was originally made for the weird animation memes, because she had the nice one, the anxious one, the dad-friend, the angry one and the murderer. And yeah, you can use an edgy killer for weird/edgy memes, but she wanted WEIRD. And so Two-tone was made. But he apparently evolved into a really sweet cat who just doesn't understand how to communicate with people. He's been friends with Toby since childhood (kittenhood?) and seemingly came from nowhere. No parents at all. Toby's family basically adopted him (though I kinda ship them???)

Oliver: Anxious boyo. He's the blue one with big worried eyes. I also love him, he's so adorable. Anyway- Oliver's worrying about everything, constantly. He's also really easy to pick on because he'd be too scared to defend himself. Actually, Cinder tries killing him the most out of the team, which forces Gingerale to protect the bb. Totally told me that when she draws the two, she can't help but draw Oliver huddling behind Gingerale for protection and I live for that. She also said that he was an only child, so he learned how to be by himself and is still getting used to actually being around other cats. She said that Oliver's mom is also really sweet, but she was too soft and didn't force Oliver into anything he was uncomfy with (which were simple fears like the dark or strangers) and so he never got that exposure that's needed to NOT be a crying mess.

Gingerale: The ginger cat. He's a very grumpy boy and hates all things fun. Actually that's not true, but he's very tsundere. He'll bully his friends, but as soon as someone does it, he's going OFF on them. He somehow always catches Cinder when she's trying to kill the team, too which would he so much fun to see. Totally said Gingerale's used to being ignored because he was one of the middle kittens of TWELVE. YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP RNAKKD. kinda sad to imagine tho, poor bby.

Cinder: Finally, the one I kept mentioning. The gray and white gorl. To explain her murderous ways, Totally gave me a run down: As a kitten, Cinder was severely bullied by three older ones. Their mothers didn't do anything to stop it, and Cinder's own mother was too deep in self-pity due to her mate leaving her. All because he didn't want kittens :(. So, Cinder didn't get anyone to defend her from these bullies. One night, Cinder's mom stands up and straight up leaves. Totally gave a small, sad detail of "So, wondering where her mom was going, Cinder followed after her. But Cinder's mom turns only to push the kitten away, giving her an angry glare before leaving for good. Cinder's never seen her again." And i- that's so depressing. Anyway, Cinder finally snapped and killed one of the kittens bullying her. Finally the mothers cared, but only for their own. They exiled Cinder from the area, and Cinder complied. But she never forgot how nice it felt to finally have some power and since then, she's just kinda- killed cats. Totally finished it with "Cinder found the meme team and thought they'd be easy, but Gingerale's a good match against her. So... She's just for comedy's sake now I guess". That was long, sorry.

Milo: Big boi. Big soft boi. I really like him, but also I couldn't help but think about Milo from Pokemon Sword and Shield. I told Totally this and she went "Yeah, I made him before the game was officially out and before I played it. I had no idea" And I'll just accept her word. He's cute tho, the gray tabby. He's bigger than his friends and is super fatherly to them, even though he's around their age. Always making sure Oliver isn't so scared, Two-Tone and Toby are out of trouble, Gingerale actually socializes and the twins are recognized more. Very sweet.

Aidan: Speaking of the twins, they're the last two I need to tell you about! First is Aidan. He's the one with sunglasses. And also the spikier fur, and he's the boy. I like him because he thinks he's really cool and popular, but he's not. In fact Totally always forgets the twins exist. She's getting better at it, she says. She told me that Aidan is that one "I'm so cool" character who's calm and collected usually, but if a girl (or boy, she claims their sexualities are never specified and up to interpretations for the creativity) flirted with him, he'd DIE. I need to make hcs on this.

Nadia: The pretty girl. Basically it. She's really nice and understanding, but always finds a way to insult her brother casually. The twins have always been there for each other, but at the end of the day they're siblings. They're going to argue with each other. In fact, Totally said she likes to take a bit from her own siblings and say things like "Oh yeah, and Nadia one day would be all 'Aidan, brother, listen to me. I love you, but you're ugly. No girl would like you' And Aidan turns to his sister, slightly pulls down the sunglasses that somehow stay on his face and glances at her up and down before sighing, 'But Nadia, you're forgetting. You look just like me, but curly. You're just as ugly as I am, and you won't find love either.' Or smth like that. Just the casual insulting chaos that is siblings".

EDIT: Totally told me she updated character sheets and said I should replace the old ones! So most of these aren't old now

[punkscowardschampions]

Amelia & Jac

Amelia: My mum heard wrong and you're actually okay, right? Jac: I am now Amelia: but it was you Jac: me and half of Dublin Amelia: I could care less about about 3/4 of this town Jac: generous, a whole 1/4 Amelia: you know what I mean Jac: yeah Jac: your maths isn't that shocking Amelia: what happened? Jac: what do you mean Jac: I didn't accidentally swallow my mouthwash or something Jac: you know how it goes Amelia: alright, why did it happen? Jac: It was new years Jac: simple as Amelia: you don't give a shit about New Year's Amelia: or anything else right now Jac: I was feeling festive Amelia: because? Jac: because it's the reason for the season? idk Amelia: you're really going to make me figure it out? okay Jac: there's fuck all to figure out Jac: you've got drunk, you know why Amelia: What did she do? Jac: which nurse was it that told your mum Jac: or was it a receptionist, they're the fucking worst Amelia: answer my question so I don't have to go on her profile Jac: go ahead and look Jac: you won't be surprised, no one else is Amelia: [does so a pause] Amelia: I'm sorry Jac: I knew anyway Jac: well, was 99% sure Jac: but then that 1% went so Amelia: You could've called me Amelia: nobody on the gossip grapevine even knows the lad who brought you in Jac: I very much couldn't Jac: I was passed out Jac: so me either, the thank you note will sit here unsent, like Amelia: before, I mean Amelia: she didn't post that last night Jac: it was Christmas Amelia: so? Jac: a time for family Amelia: you used to be Amelia: basically Jac: well that's just weird Amelia: again, you know what I mean Jac: not acceptable to float your incest fantasies just 'cos you've got no siblings to go there with Amelia: ugh, shut up Jac: works for me Amelia: no, it doesn't Jac: ask anyone Jac: I've had a very relaxing break Amelia: none of this is working for you, that's why you ended up in hospital Amelia: for fuck's sake Jac: that was the tequila Amelia: none of this is funny Jac: what do want me to say? Amelia: quite literally anything that isn't a pisstake Amelia: that's how low my bar is now Jac: I got drunk, it isn't the drama your mum and whoever the fuck is making it out to be Amelia: it isn't a drama that you got so drunk you had to be medically emptied out after being brought in by a stranger, no of course not Amelia: anything could have happened to you but why the fuck would that matter Jac: clearly I was surrounded by nice people Jac: I wasn't in a crack den Amelia: you wouldn't tell me if you were Amelia: unless you had a joke you could make out of it Jac: I appreciate that you find me so amusing Jac: I'm not making jokes, there is just nothing to actually be said about any of it Amelia: Fine, we'll go back to not talking Jac: don't let me ruin your good time Amelia: it's a bit late for that advice, thanks anyway Jac: amazing Jac: way to make my hospital stay about you Amelia: how could I? It's all about Savannah fucking Moore, as always Jac: so you wanted to be the one I drank myself into a coma for Jac: I'm so sorry Jac: I'll try again next time and leave a note shouting you out Amelia: no you won't, because that would involve telling people about me Amelia: I might as well not exist Jac: 'cos I'm going around telling EVERYONE that this is about her Amelia: it's never been any secret how I feel about you or that I need you even though you don't need me Amelia: and you could've fucking died or something Jac: seriously Amelia: yeah Jac: it's bullshit if you actually believe that Jac: and you're not just saying it Amelia: all of this is bullshit Jac: I'm a fucking mess Jac: I hit you up all the time Jac: why do you need me to spell it out to you Jac: hire a fucking skywriter Amelia: none of it matters because when things actually matter, like this, you don't Jac: because I'm not fucking okay Jac: that doesn't mean that I don't those other times Amelia: I know that Jac: you clearly don't Jac: it means nothing Jac: then fuck it Amelia: it doesn't mean nothing Jac: it's so fucking Jac: infuriating Jac: I haven't talked to anyone else in person for so long Jac: and I barely do it in writing now either Jac: don't pretend you don't know that means something just to fit your narrative Amelia: what to do want me to say? or do? Amelia: I've spent ages worried about you even before this and there's nobody I can talk about it with because you won't Amelia: I don't get to be upset because it's Christmas and we're not friends and I'm over it, that's the narrative for everybody else Amelia: then I hear this and it's no big deal to you, apparently Jac: just not be so fucking dense Jac: at least when you're talking to me, you don't need to pretend that now Jac: what would you like me to say? how fucking vile it was having to bring up my entire stomach contents, what it smelt like? how terrifying it was to be there on my own? Jac: or what can I do for you now? start sobbing about how out of control my life is, repent, promise to change and be different? Amelia: I've already lost you once because of her, I can't do it again Amelia: especially not like that Jac: I can't stop loving her Jac: I can't stop it hurting Jac: all of us Amelia: I can't stop loving you Amelia: and she isn't going to force me to when she isn't even fucking here Jac: There's no point blaming her Jac: if she didn't know, before I showed her how I felt Jac: she didn't know about you and me Amelia: and you think I'm dense Jac: I don't think she's perfect Jac: not completely Amelia: it's progress Jac: shut up Jac: I'm sorry, alright, I wouldn't have told you, you wouldn't have needed to be worried Amelia: I'm worried by all the things you don't tell me Amelia: where you go and what you do when you're not 'hitting me up' Jac: it's not as if you'd wanna hear it though Jac: you want me to stop, like everyone does Jac: but I just Jac: I can't Amelia: I don't want to hear it because I know it's not what you really want Jac: I can't have what I want Amelia: you can't have her, it doesn't mean you have to have that Jac: None of it was real Jac: but it doesn't erase all that time, what was said and done and felt Jac: not for me Amelia: of course it doesn't Jac: it's like I'm trapped Jac: I can't go back but I'm just left here, she's left me here and all of the things we were going to do and be together aren't going to happen Jac: I'm not going to be that person but I'm not the same as before Amelia: it's like she killed you, you have to grieve Jac: I don't like who I am now Jac: without her Amelia: you said it, you're a mess Amelia: not much about that for a virgo to like Jac: this is just another day in the life for you is it Jac: 🦂 Amelia: it's not about me Amelia: how you feel about you Jac: it's no secret I CLEARLY hate myself Amelia: it'd be the worst kept secret ever if it was Jac: so yeah, it's nice to flip the script, have people think maybe I hate them instead Jac: I ruined Christmas because I hate you all, like, yeah, fine Amelia: maybe Cammie's brothers are little enough to fall for it Jac: it's surprising how effective playing at being a coma patient is for the cause Amelia: everyone knows you're hurting instead of hating Jac: alright Jac: sounding like a cringe 90s rnb love song is not cute Amelia: I'm not cute today Jac: have you got your serious face on to match your tone Amelia: my parents have and if you can't beat them, join them Jac: did your nan say something homophobic and they forgot to call her out on your behalf? Amelia: I'm grounded because of what you did, that's what passes for logic in this 🏠 Amelia: they haven't stopped talking about it or trying to overhaul my life Jac: oh great Jac: I'll not be able to see you too now Amelia: they've told me to stay in, they can't make me Amelia: you can see me whenever you want to Jac: your parents are actually sensible, if leaning towards over-protective Jac: they'll get a restraining order Jac: or me sectioned, if they can really sell it Amelia: they don't know about us Amelia: you're fine Jac: they know they don't want you being my friend Amelia: they don't want me getting hospitalised, that's all Amelia: they know if we were still friends I'd look after you and vice versa Jac: it isn't catching, it's alcohol poisoning Jac: can we go to the beach Jac: we've obviously missed the official swim but I want to Amelia: they did run out of Christmas drinks because I never got around to replacing what we stole and I did have to take sole blame, so that's where they think I'm heading Amelia: but yeah, we can go to the beach Jac: their friends always could put it away Amelia: and I wasn't even drunk last night Amelia: because I'd already had a lecture Jac: how drunk did you get on Christmas day then Amelia: it's not my fault they all stop at a couple of glasses Amelia: or want to my life a competition vs the child or children of every single person my parents know Amelia: 🥱🙄 Jac: you didn't know miracle was a lifetime obligation as well as a fancy title? Jac: gutted Amelia: did I hit you up, no, therefore I CLEARLY wasn't drunk enough Jac: Charming Amelia: 😏 Jac: you know, when I get drunk, I make really bad choices/nearly die Amelia: not always Amelia: and I might've given my cousin my phone so I didn't send you anything, okay? I'm that 😳🤓 Jac: She blatantly wanted to nose at all your private texts anyway Jac: I wouldn't trust any of mine as far as I can throw them Amelia: she'd have to steal my fingerprint, I definitely wasn't that drunk Jac: don't you delete them after? Jac: amateur Amelia: what would I do when you aren't talking to me if I did, read a book? Jac: you're quick with the recommendations for me, so yeah Amelia: I get enough migraines without encouraging them Jac: 😏 Jac: we definitely shouldn't be friends then Amelia: that's not even in the top 10 of reasons why we shouldn't Jac: again, so polite Amelia: come on, you know I'll break any amount of rules Jac: it's not supposed to be adding to the fun of it, like Amelia: fuck supposed to as well Jac: alright Jac: but I ain't going out and getting drunk tonight Jac: I feel inside out still Amelia: what do you want to do then? Jac: I don't know Jac: let's just start with the beach and I'll see Amelia: okay Jac: what do you wanna do Amelia: I only give a shit about seeing you Jac: It might take me a while to get out Jac: goes without saying I'm more than grounded Jac: one pair of 👀 on me at all times Amelia: that kind of wait won't kill me Jac: alright Jac: I'll think of something Amelia: remember a coat this time, yeah? Amelia: I can't lend you any more without literally taking the one off my own back Jac: oh no Amelia: you didn't nearly die in my coat, did you? Jac: I was wearing it Jac: but I don't have it now Amelia: oh Jac: I do remember where I was, I wasn't that gone when I arrived Jac: but I don't wanna go back, I can give you the address? Amelia: do I want to go there or should I just hit the sales? Jac: yeah Jac: consider it a late christmas present? Amelia: wait, my late Christmas present isn't that you didn't die? Jac: you're glad, aren't you, that's a gift Jac: but I also meant money for a coat, that's only fair, if anything Amelia: I can afford my own replacement coat Jac: alright Jac: but I did lose it Amelia: I lent it to you, if it was that precious to me, I wouldn't have Amelia: and my mum will be thrilled I'm asking to go shopping Jac: yeah, true enough Jac: what did you get her for christmas? Amelia: [something her basic mum would actually love because she only had to buy for her parents so might as well go in] Jac: wow, daughter of the year much Amelia: I'm their only daughter, there's no contest Jac: all I got mine was a nervous breakdown so you know Amelia: I did that last year, you know, before it was cool Jac: 🤓 Amelia: I'm sorry that you didn't invent pining Jac: I'm not pining though, you can have that Amelia: I don't want it Jac: I'm sorry you invented pining Amelia: I didn't, I just happen to be amazing at it Jac: or bad at it, depending on your outlook Amelia: well yeah Jac: I look awful Amelia: how do you feel? Jac: awful Jac: at least there's no disparity there Amelia: you've nailed it, along with the majority Jac: start as the year will go on, no matter my intentions or otherwise Jac: fucking hell Amelia: I look great, you've been warned Jac: 😂 Amelia: 👧🏻 Jac: at least it isn't bowl-esque now Jac: like your xmas throwback Amelia: I knew you'd like that Jac: that santa is creepy looking though Jac: your face says it all Amelia: 😂 Jac: how likely do you think any of my siblings are to cover for me right now Amelia: 🤔 very unlikely Jac: distract and run it is Amelia: can you even 🏃 the state you're in? Jac: They gave me IV, I'm technically in my prime, thank you Amelia: carry on Jac: you don't have to come Amelia: I want to though Jac: alright Amelia: okay Jac: [I think she should ask Jesse to cover but whatever the outcome of that convo let us say you do get out somehow and you can go to the beach] Amelia: [yeah even if he won't, find a way gal] Jac: [have your nice moment] Amelia: [it's deserved, well not really because you ruined christmas and new year's but Savannah ruined everything first so it kind of is lol] Jac: [it's what being a teen is all about henny] Amelia: [not this teen, I was a goody two shoes] Jac: [my boo is too good she would never lmao, I did so] Jac: [I think they should have a nice time but then someone/someone's parents is at the beach so she's like well bye] Amelia: [that's very valid because you lowkey wouldn't be able to go anywhere without seeing someone either they know from school or Amelia's parents know the parents of] Jac: [exactly, it's an easy way to end things before anything really has to be said or done so tah everyone] Amelia: [I hope you're both going home, we don't need any more drama immediately] Jac: [my boo says get your ass back home] Amelia: [mhmm] Jac: [she has nowhere to be so I'm sure she's going back to bed lol] Amelia: [get your arse back home too Amelia even though I'm sure that girl has text you at Christmas and New Year's] Jac: [at least you weren't at the beach gal] Amelia: [I 100% vote you do see her when school starts though even though she in the year above and would have to seek you out lol] Jac: [my boo says let her have it] Amelia: [we do love the jealousy always] Jac: [mhmm] Amelia: [not letting you date her though because she actually seems to like you so that'd be rude] Jac: [only jac and savannah can do that lol] Amelia: [Savannah do like this boy cos he reminds her of Jac remember LOL] Jac: [lmao]