#them vogue-ing.............. HELLO

[tehtariks]

the gang setting known vampire stan priya up with the goth girl... they really said gay rights :') | TURNING RED (2022)

[alphabees-writes]

Glee - S1 E6 (Vitamin D)

They call it vitamin D for the whole thing but wasn’t it just a component for some really hard drug??? We love the bullshit

The millionth step ball change... And we’re only 6 episodes in

Mr Schue just said “Maybe so” and now all I can think of is the gif meme thing

heheheheheheh.......Sorry. Funny youtube. 

Sign #27 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: He’s eating that sandwich in the GROSSEST WAY POSSIBLE. He’s chewing with his mouth open, breathing really loud, talking with his mouthful, and he’s clearly being messy about it because there’s mustard all over his chin!!! How is Emma crushing on this dweeb

Sign #28 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: When Emma says he’s got a “cute Kirk Douglas chin dimple” (barf) he doesn’t say, hey! Maybe don’t flirt with me, I’m married!

I’m genuinely starting to feel ill whenever I have to just look at Mr Schue...

Everybody trying to learn their choreo and they’re just.... Spinning. Kurt’s about to fall over, Matt and Mike are bumping into each other, and Brittany’s just Tasmanian Devil-ing her way across the room. Love em

Brittany completely ignoring Artie’s high-five and him being like “oh-- okay...” is underrated

Matt Morrison just delivered “simply stopped trying” really weirdly. I don’t know what’s throwing me off about it, but it is

You’re right, Sue. Bones won’t grow properly without fear. AND EMMA’S BLOUSE IS INSANE

“I don’t understand how lightning is in competition with an above-ground swimming pool” You’re RIGHT KURT and you SHOULD SAY IT! Bears and sharks aren’t in competition either! Call out post for Mr Schue: The man knows NOTHING of the most basic ecology!

The look Quinn gives Finn when he yawns... Let my mans nap!!!

Kurt did his best to get to the girl’s side. Can you fucking blame him? Puck’s still an asshole to him as far as we all know!

Santana and Brittany just casually linking arms... Be still my beating heart

Kurt just walking along with Finn to football practice... Look at those brothers go!!! I am ignoring Puck

Ohh Sue’s journal... A wonderful character

You’re right, Sue, Will Schuester IS to blame for the world’s problems. Please do destroy the man

“I’ve always thought the desire to procreate showed deep personal weakness” Got ‘em

And thus begins the saga of Sue pushing problem people down the stairs. I’m not saying she should do that to Mr Schue... I’m just saying, why doesn’t she?

If Will wasn’t flirting with Emma, he wouldn’t get all nervous and upset when his wife turns up. Them’s the facts.

Does Terri know about Emma’s germophobia...? Because if so, it’s probably not cool for Will to have told her that. Unless Sue did, but I wouldn’t put it past him

As if they could get away with hiring a random unqualified woman as a school nurse?

Is “route” really pronounced like that......? Huh

Finn getting Biofreeze in his eye will forever be hilarious.

LEVEL 2!!!

I hate hats. I don’t know why, but I do. And I want Kurt to live his best life, but man, I hate that hat

Cory Monteith really got paid to drool. Goals

“Puck, with respect, you’re more helpful when you don’t contribute” Tell him, Artie!!!

Everybody making fun of Quinn :C Britt, you’re better than this!!

People (I’m people) can hate on Rachel all they want but this scenario is one example of her actually working harder than anybody else in the group. Yes, the solos should be shared more equally, but it’s hard to be mad at her when the others are claiming her ideas as their own and sitting around when they should be rehearsing. Except Brittany! She’s stretching, at least, love her

Terri let him NAP. WITHOUT DRUGS.

Finn’s having some serious mental health concerns but he’s not getting what he needs and I hate it. Help him!!!

Why does Terri care if Finn’s not faithful? Like, yeah, he should be, but it’s not going to affect the baby!

Surely if she took those pills for ALL of high school, they would’ve lost their effect after a while?

God I love high Finn. He just CHUCKED Matt outta that chair. 

Puck knows what’s up. Kurt thinks it’s vitamin C, because Vogue said so, and Iove him. He also looks SO weirded out

Terri gave him a whole BOX huh?

Time for season 1′s best mash-up. I love this so much. They’re all going so HARD and Finn looks like his eyes are about to pop right out. The way he’s rubbing the mic... How could they not tell he was off his face???

MIKE’S SINGING. MIKE’S SINGING BACK UP AND NOBODY’S WINCING. Glee has no continuity confirmed

I feel like I shouldn’t find this performance cute because they’re all meant to be high as shit BUT THEY’RE JUST SO EXCITED???

Kevin McHale bumps every song features in up by at least 2 letter grades and that’s just a fact

LET MIKE CHANG DANCE!!!! LET HIM DANCE FOREVER HE DESERVES SO MUCH

I would say the same for Matt but then I’ll get sad about him being dumped into the void in like 16 episodes time

Oh Rachel worrying about Quinn... Be still my gay heart

Rachel just cuts right through her bullshit without hesitating for a second. She knows what it’s like to feel like the odd one out and she’s doing the absolute most to make sure Quinn doesn’t feel that way and I love her for it

The way Quinn slowly turns to face her... And Rachel says they don’t have to be enemies and Quinn can’t understand why Rachel would offer her a second chance... 

Quinn legit draws porn of Rachel it’s canon. I mean it’s fucked up but there are only so many reasons a person would do that

“I would’ve tortured you if the roles were reversed you know” “I know” And then the way she watches Rachel walk away... My HEART

Ken and Terri, the power duo of awful

“Laughing... Talking... All the stuff she never does with me” I hate it. They suck. Emma is a dumbass for agreeing to date a guy who she just genuinely doesn’t like and Ken’s just an ASSHOLE for bullying her into it

And now Ken’s about to propose because he’s being bullied into it. Why the fuck does this happen?

I don’t buy that Rachel took this long to berate all the girls for not prepping their mash-up harder after the boys killed theirs. She’d be right on that

Kurt I love the waistcoat and the bowtie but WHAT is happening on your ELBOWS.

You really wanted those guys in cornrows, Kurt? None of them have the length for it. ALSO I love that the exotic bird feathers thing comes back next season 10/10

F-ROD!!! GO OFF RACHEL!!! Even if Finn doesn’t know what half these words mean!

Rachel really wakes up with flawless hair, huh! And then she just... Does all that. She never stops being extra...

Did they just start walking in the opposite direction?

I feel like it’s dumb that Rachel doesn’t just tell Mr Schue that they all took pills, but it’s more in character for her to not waste an opportunity to perform anyway

Howard Bamboo,totally unqualified man who absolutely isn’t staff, is just allowed on campus to deliver DRUGS? HELLO???

Quinn only gets folic acid... And yet I’m pretty sure she manages to keep up with everybody else. HOW?

“What’s up with Ken?” [FRANTIC PAPER SHREDDING] 

I don’t care how married you are, no person should lick another person’s face

I can physically feel the awkwardness between Will and Terri. JUST DIVORCE ALREADY

Don’t like ya Will but you’re right, shit’s not healthy if there’s no space!

Imagine proposing in the staff room at work just because a random woman told you to

“Emma Pilsbury, this is not an engagement ring” “Oh thank god--” “No, I mean, it is” Just take the L, Ken

AND ALSO ANGELS!!!

Quinn’s so fucking concerned. I love this

I usually don’t like yellow clothes but these girls make it look so dang CUTE. More pastels plz

Again, I have no idea how pregnant Quinn is keeping up at all...

HALOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Kurt’s wearing those blocky shades so the boys can’t see his betrayal

Where the hell did this mock-stage set up come from

“We came up with the idea together!” No... Will, that was Sue. Sue gave you the idea

Emma’s pretty much explicitly told Will she’s only marrying Ken because Will won’t be with her. EVERYBODY SUCKS

This argument between Terri and Emma is a nightmare. The most confrontational person VS the least... I’d fucking evaporate if Terri came at me like that

The way Emma’s voice shakes when she tells Terri that Will deserves better... Ouchie

Quinn is just adorable. Diana made this character, and she did such an amazing job... She’s more empathetic than she lets anybody realise

The fact that Terri won’t even help this TEENAGE GIRL pay for the baby that she’ll eventually adopt is a nightmare. Where do you expect her to get the cash from?

Wanting to get married without being married is kind of a mood... Secret marriage

BEING A PUSHOVER WHEN IT COMES TO YOU DOESN’T MAKE HIM A GOOD MAN

Finn and Rachel both realising they screwed up is perfect. 

Finn continuing to not know what any words mean is also perfect

This is a cute Rachel moment actually... Yes girl compete WITH your friends!!! You’re a team!!!!

Ahh, methamphetamines! That’s what it was. Yeah, fuck Terri

I’m still looking at Matt Morrison’s lips and trying to figure out if he’s had fillers. They just curl too far!!!

Mr Schue being called out for making things too competitive - fine, I guess. Bringing in SUE to rectify that...??? Hello? Figgins?

Those white jeans are a LOOK Kurt. He’s like a twink Steve Jobs rn

Britt and Santana’s little smiles at each other when Sue’s announced as co-captain... Hell yeah future wives

I’d like to think Will’s upset about Emma marrying Ken for the right reasons (i.e. Ken’s an asshole) but we been knew he’s not. He’s looking at her like he’s just been shot

AIN’T NOTHIN GONNA BREAK MY STRIDE! NOBODY GONNA SLOW ME DOWN! OH NO, I’VE GOT TO KEEP ON MOVIN!

I really just love how stupid this show is! It makes no god damn sense and I fall for it every time!

[dinacharya]

Chapter 2. aka, Adele 25 therapy

what are tumblrs for if not for ridiculous oversharing and creeping into people’s lives you have no business being in, right? 

disclaimer: it’s a saturday night, 11:45pm to be exact, and i’m 4 hours deep into listening to Adele’s 25 album on repeat. i’ve also micro-dosed. or maybe regular dosed, depends who you ask. For all intents and purposes here, I’m calling it a micro because i very much have a grip even if my trusty wall tapestry is doing pretty things, and I had a very clear intention diving in. 

the tl;dr is that this 25-year old’s solo post-break up trip is a fucking cleanse and this is the vibe I’m fully on right now:

lol so, how did we get there: 

well waking up from last night’s binge smoking, gaming & sugar session (which was honestly much needed - shout out to the peeps who were there for that) didn’t feel the hottest, obviously. but crushed that shit with more sleep and getting back into jillian michaels* in my living room and eating a healthy lunch and whatnot. 

*side note: i’m sure she’s made millions already, but in this era with all the IG fitness models and influencers out there i still think jillian michaels is queen and underrated. 20 mins of jumping around and flailing weights, guided by her via TV is literally all i need to be like woh bitch i’m back. haha. 

now: you know how there are just those random people in your life that perhaps weren’t around all that long or maybe they had an impact on you that you only realized later? or maybe you just never shared with them how much they meant to you, because you didn’t even know. so there are a couple of those i’m going to bring up here (no names). 

starting with one - a friend from my NYC juice bar days, we spent many a wintery days and hours cooped up in that tiny shop kicking ass honestly with grade A difficult customers. she was one of my favorites to work with - so fun to laugh, with gossip with, just share a space with. i have so many fond memories of night shifts there, snow falling outside the windows. people coming in for smoothies at 10:45pm making us wonder what the fuck? 

she was stunning, tall, beautiful effortless skin and bone structure and all that, she just glowed. she was always lifting up other girls around her while shaming herself. i get it, that’s just what we do, that’s what I do. but fact is she was a straight 12/10 no question. anyways, we lost touch. we all know how that whole restaurant went down in sad flames with our owner locked up at rikers (if you don’t know of the psycho saga via vogue’s coverage, and want to hear a first-hand account, that’s for another day, it’s honestly a fun one to tell). so all the people in my life from the restaurant, who were what felt like home to me in NY, kind of faded out with time.

anyways, she’s one of those people for me that still pops into mind from time to time and i just wonder what she’s up to and miss her. so today in my idle morning of moping around, she popped into mind and a quick social media search led me to find her humble page and podcast she’s just recently started - and i ended up listening to a couple episodes because, lord knows i’m a podcast nerd. but i had a chance to hear her story and how much i didn’t know of her background when we were friends back then, and what a light she still was to those around her was pretty amazing.  she did say that her time in nyc was a bit of a blur that’s hard to remember because she was struggling at the time. it hurts my heart to know that, but at the same time i definitely can relate. generally i’d say living in nyc, as a student or not, can feel very isolating and while i have a lot of very vivid memories and recollections, a lot of that time is also a blur for me now the more distance i get from it. 

anyways, so kind of reflecting on all that this afternoon while mozy-ing around in bed was one part of today’s journey. one bit that was also huge was hearing her talk about her overeating/binge & restrictive eating disorder during that time, which is something i’ve tried to vocalize to my friends and family and even doctor but generally isn’t taken all that seriously. when in fact these habits i haven’t addressed are probably the most crucial detriment to my health. it turns out there’s such a thing as overeaters-anonymous. like AA but for people with compulsive eating problems. that’s 100% me, so this was a HUGE discovery today for me that something like this exists. i’m not going to say i’ll walk straight into a meeting this second, but i’m definitely interested. as carly whose lived with me for the last 3 years could easily tell you better than anyone else, i have a hell of a fucking problem and i don’t even know if i understand it fully myself.

part 2:

coincidentally, around mid day I happened to get a text from an old NY roommate, someone I hadn’t heard from in over a year probably, so it was pretty out of the blue. I always perceived her to be like an older sister figure, a funny lady from Malaysia with a heavy accent and a strong attitude, doing her best to fit into American culture, dating apps, heavy into the astrology shit, and all. Anyways, she hit me up because she was concerned she couldn’t find me on social media anymore (quickly resolved) and she mentioned that she enjoyed seeing my DIY stuff on IG stories and that it was serving as inspiration for some future business she’s been envisioning once she gets out of corporate life in Pittsburgh, PA. It was all endearing and sweet. i have heard from friends before that my IG could be turned into something more if i wanted to, but i’ve never had the heart to put more structure to things that just feel like natural parts of me that i want to remain free, if that makes sense. but it’s still nice to know that out there somewhere in pennsylvania the random things i do in my kitchen and share into the IG ether can serve as a little inspo for a roommate from 5 years ago. also it was just a nice reminder to self that in the same way i have these people i admire and root for and wonder about from a distance, maybe there’s room for me to be someone like that for somebody else i’ve crossed paths with. that makes me happy. 

So, part 3: hello, Adele.

i haven’t been shy about admitting the last couple months have been a struggle for me. basically since turning 25. even leading up to the big number, all year really i’d been kind of dreading what this age meant. it just feels like it’s gotta be messy whether i want it to be or not. considering every prior year has been a positive & fairly steady uphill climb, i figured at some point i’d have to pause/break/falter. don’t ask me why, age has always been something i’m glued to. (it’s funny because i don’t own a clock, the one watch i have is tucked into my wedding planner e-kit and only comes out on those days. given my job title and being a virgo and all, time has oddly never been a day to-day concern for me. (those who know me know i am never on time for anything, sorry) but i’ve always been hyper concerned about my age and the expectations (self imposed, inescapable) that come looming with it*. so birthday season usually is just a very introspective time every year where i evaluate where i’m at, the progress i’ve made, what’s holding me back, what i’m proud of, what i’m not proud of. 

*quick side story, the person i’ve dated all year always would say our age difference was nothing. but that statement always irked me because it’s far from the truth. every year 20, 21, 22, 23, 24 i’ve felt i’ve learned exponentially about myself and grown. so yeah, there’s a HUGE difference, emotionally/self-awareness, all that, between 22 and 25 if you ask me. like bless my early 20′s for being stoned fun & shit, but girl’s been putting in work too ya know?

anyways, back on track: come time for my birthday this year i didn’t really want to think too hard about it and just wanted to have fun, and i did! it was definitely one of the more fun/eventful birthdays i can recall. 

but now, 2 months post-birthday, fresh off of a break up, I’m beginning to see more clearly why I pushed all that usual introspective evaluation under the rug. essentially it’s what i’ve done all year, pretending 22 - 25 is nothing, and that all the work i’d done to get here was whatever. i’d taken steps back self-esteem wise, kind of let my work fall by the wayside just as something to do and not something i was excited about (which is more my norm), and i realize i wasnt being present in the right ways to friendships that mean the most to me. All in favor of some shiny beacon of excitement, being sucked into this vortex of conditional relationships*  and “fun” where i frankly just had no place being.

*linked there ^ is a stellar article, when you’re ready for it

THANK GOD FOR MY FRIENDS. seriously i don’t say this enough. I have been FREAKING BLESSED by the people who choose to be in my life. like fuck yo i know it’s FACT i have not been the most pleasant to be around or hear from this year but the true ones persisted and showed me love when I needed it most, were there for me constantly through all the thick of it and still are. like those calls every day just to chat about what the fuck ever, those random “i’m thinking of you’s” and “let’s hangs” mean so much to me in my isolated world of working from home and just being a general homebody type. let me just promise to all of you once i’m out of this present messiness, that I’ll be back on track. i’ve hated being that girl, i’ve heard myself, and i’ve hated it. so while I’ve been kind of MIA morphing into something i haven’t been proud of, thank you to every single friend who’s reminded me there was still something here worthy of your time and your energy and your attention.

*now, much less saving me, I get to start showing up for you guys better too. 

i’ve explained this to close friends before who have experienced it with me - psychedelics are one of my favorite ways to get a grip on my life. of course, i understand their role in fun experiences too, but i’ve always valued it first and foremost as a powerful mind-opening tool. (so naturally, i adore michael pollan’s latest book “how to change your mind”.) when i’m feeling overwhelmed or at a crossroads or muddled, i’ve found it to be the most affective way for me to tune into myself, see things with a fresh perspective, and commit to the choices i need to. 

so having been on a fucking ride with these breakup emotions, knee deep in self-pity, not knowing what to make of the past year, past month, past week, & where i’m at... i was like, 

why the fuck not?

just what i needed on a night to myself to give my soul a fucking cleanse. it’s a convenient weekend to have the house all to myself. read: a good place to be singing at the top of my lungs haha and doing whatever the fuck my single ass wishes all night. somehow along the way, i managed to cook up a pretty A+ tikka masala sauce and prepped a brussel sprouts salad for a dinner with friends tomorrow night, don’t ask me how. i’ve had a spiritual fucking connection to every single song on this Adele 25 album, obviously. idk why it hadn’t occurred to me until doing this that i’m now 25 listening to this album :) so all of this is to say:

Thank you, Adele.

for being a girl i can identify with who marks progress with age, unabashedly tunes into her emotions, and provides breakup comfort like no other. even though i refused to listen to this album until like a year ago

(also can we just take a moment to appreciate that Adele posted this on her own IG profile)

Thanks to those who aren’t necessarily at the frontlines of my life, but have a place in my heart, whether you know it or not, and bring forth some amazing shit or tune in at the right times.

Thank you, most sincerely, to each and every one of my friends that I won’t name here. 

Close and far, you’re the ones pulling me out of a drudge of a year where I lost myself and you’re reminding me what I love to do and who I am and it feels good to get a footing again. 

~ ciao, finally @ 1:43am.

p.s. below is THE picture of what i’ve been like for the last couple weeks ~ can always count on a new girl reference to have my back heheh

*we can also mark this as the night where i FINALLY get over my weird thing about not liking “Hello.” That shit’s a fucking masterpiece who was i to say anything otherwise hahaha

[ecotone99]

[SF] Vaporwave Therapy for the Weak-Willed... Or, simply: Stronger

Dallas folded the paper note back up and placed it on his night stand before falling to sleep. It lay there, next to him, all night. When he woke up, it stayed there on his nightstand while he took his shower, got dressed, and eventually headed to work. When he locked his door and closed it on his way out, the note was still laying there, a small piece of paper, folded in half.

His drive to work felt normal. Dallas got to be himself, play the soundtrack to his morning and let it drive him. He nodded his head and sang too loud with the windows down. He smiled out the window at the sun. Today would be different. He would make sure of it.

“Good evening, doctor!” Athena cheerily greeted Dallas as he walked into the lobby of the 91st floor.

“It’s the morning, Athena…” Dallas said, pausing.

“I’m sorry doctor, Daylight Savings Time always seems to throw my programming off, I will re-synch my internal clock to the company server’s clock immediately. Additionally, Mr. Fukunaga left a message on your voicemail approximately half an hour ago. I will make sure it autoplays as soon as you get into your office.”

“Thanks Athena, do you know when my first appointment is?”

“Ahh yes, doctor, your first appointment is… No wait, that is Doctor Horvath… Hmm, that one as well… It looks like he is actually taking three this upcoming hour, I had no idea how he plans to do that… Goldfarb, Dukes, and Kerfling. You don’t have one until 12 actually… However, I will make sure that you take priority on the queue for any walk-ins this hour as it seems that all fourteen of the other doctors are booked.”

Dallas momentarily clenched a fist that he released instantly. Today wouldn’t be like yesterday.

“Thank you, Athena.”

Dallas headed to his office, he hung his jacket on the hook behind the door as he shut it behind him. It was only a small space, an eight foot by eight foot square, but it was his space. And he had hanged up three different signed prints of the Simpsons, now on its 105th season. Besides, how many other precocious 26 year old Cyber Therapists had their own office? Probably not many. Dallas actually didn’t know. He and his friend Kit, who was also another therapist here, had both gone to school together. So, in this building, definitely only those two. The small office was cool.

Like Athena had said, Mr. Fukunaga’s message began to play as soon as he got to his desk.

“Good morning Doctor, this is your boss, Charles Fukunaga. Ahem, yes, well, after our conversation yesterday, I trust that you will be working your hardest this week to meet the expectations summary that I Net-Messaged over to you. I’ll be checking in with you later to see how things are going so expect another call. Fukunaga out.”

Dallas sat at his desk for a moment, staring at the blank spot on his wall between two of the Simpsons prints. One hand slowly clenched and unclenched over and over for a minute.

Goddamnit.

A short knock rapped at his door followed by the door opening almost immediately.

“Dallas, buddy!”

“Horvath, hello.” Why’d even you knock if you just planned on walking in?

“Hey, so are you coming to my party Wednesday night? It’s going to be at Dave and Buster’s! And I gotta tell you, I think I’m going to eat my own weight in cheese sticks!”

Be stronger.

“Horvath, look, I don’t want to go. So I’m not going to.” Dallas forced himself to look up from his computer and meet Horvath’ gaze. Horvath held it for a moment, he really did, but then he looked over at the Simpson’s print of them dressed like The Beatles crossing Abby Road. It was signed by former US President James Buchanan’s last living relative who bore no connection to The Simpsons but it was impressive all the same.

“Dallas, buddy, look you gotta come! If you don’t then Kit won’t and if Kit won’t then Jaime and Alex won’t! Please! It is my birthday.”

Get what you want.

“Horvath, you have three clients coming to see you in 15 minutes.”

“Oh yeah, you’re trying to pick something up from the master, eh? Alright, I’ll let you in on how I run it, I give them each 17 minutes and I count their time in the warm-up chamber and their times in the cryonics bath all as a part of the appointment. I only spend a little more than a quarter of an hour on the holo-therapy for each of them. Pretty sweet scam, huh?”

“No, I can’t imagine the Ethics Department for Fukunaga Mental Health and Ameridata would be happy about something like that.” Dallas had trouble pacing himself here, “I want you to transfer Kerfling to me. Tell her that you messed up the schedule and that you need me to substitute. You do that and then I’ll go to your party. See, we both win.”

“You… Dick!... Fine. But not cool and you’d better bring a gift!” Horvath huffed as he slammed the door behind him.

“I won’t.”

Dallas exhaled deeply, relief jetting through him, racing against the impossible pace of blood pumping alongside it. It had worked. He had worked. It was working! He had already gotten more than what he had started the day with!

Dallas hit down on the intra-office page system, “Athena, when Mrs. Kerfling gets here, please just go ahead and page me when you set her up in a therapy chamber. Dr. Horvath realized the mistake in his over-booking and requested my help with handling some of his workload.”

“You got it, Doc!” Athena said back cheerily.

Dallas pulled up Grandiana Kerfling’s file on his Data-Net and reviewed it while he headed upstairs to one of the Holo-Therapy rooms. Being careful while winding his way through the labyrinthine office halls to make sure he avoided the anti-gravity wing. Even though the zero-grav environments were supposed to be contained to the pods, he swore he got nauseous every time he walked by. He signed in on Suite 14 and made ran some pre-diagnostics to make sure all of the modules loaded up correctly. Everything booted up fine, even the premium add-ons.

Dallas’ Data-Net activated a notification alert, it wasn’t Athena, it was Kit.

“Just saw Horvath and he was throwing a tantrum at one of his patients. What a baby.”

Dallas quickly messaged back so that he wouldn’t be looking at his Data-Net when Mrs. Kerfling arrived. “Yeah, I might have done that, I’ll tell you more later.”

The page from Athena popped up and Dallas dismissed it before snapping his Data-Net shut. Moments later, Grandiana was vogue-ing her way through the security checkpoint. Dallas greeted her politely, despite the fact that she seemed nonplussed about the change in therapists, and then ushered her into the Holo-Suite but he waited to engage the holograms.

“So, Grandiana—”

“You may address me as Ms. Kerfling, Doctor...?”

Decide right now, Dallas, decide to take what you want.

“You can just call me Dallas, and I hate to be the one to tell you this, Grandiana, but if you keep me at arm’s length then the therapy just isn’t going to be as effective. Now, I can call you Ms. Kerfling but you need to ask yourself how much you will really get from this session if you are so guarded.”

“Yes Doc… Yes Dallas, I’m sorry, Grandiana is fine… I just, I’m just not used to seeing anyone but Doctor Horvath.”

“That’s ok Grandiana, I understand that, but I was looking at your file and to be honest I feel like you were being slighted by Doctor Horvath anyway. I feel like you’d be much more receptive to the Dragons and Elves scenario so for this session I’m actually going to give you a free upgrade over your standard Castle Siege scenario. It is skews a little more towards fantasy then you’re used to but after reading your file I am sure that you’re more than equipped to handle the nuance of this kind of therapy. It might leave you a little more drained than usual but we will worry about that after the session, alright?”

“Oh my, Doctor Horvath has never taken this much interest in our sessions, I actually do think I am more excited about this… Very well then. Let’s run the scenario! I want to keep my sword from the Castle Siege Scenario though!”

“Absolutely, Grandiana, I can make sure that Scarblade is in the Dragons and Elves Scenario.”

“Wow, Dallas, you really did read my file, didn’t you!”

“I sure did!” Dallas chuckled as they engaged the scenario.

An hours and fifteen minutes later, Dallas had let the session run on long for a couple of reasons, the two stepped out of the Holo-Suite. Grandiana was actually out of breath but her expression read of exhausted contentment.

“That was fantastic Dallas! I thought the goblins had us for sure! What a relief it was to find out that Scarblade actually had a flame enchantment the whole time! I gotta say though, I am beat. Do you think it would be ok to schedule some extra cooldown time in the cryonics bath?”

“I won’t lie to you Grandiana, it will tack more onto your bill but as your therapist I would absolutely recommend it as well. It is good to be able to fully relax and decompress in an environment like that after all the action that you just experienced.”

“You know what, I actually don’t mind at all, sign me up for a double cryonics treatment! And while you’re at it, schedule me another appointment with you next week! I want to keep running the Dragons and Elves scenario and you’ve proven to be a much more capable therapist than Doctor Horvath!”

“I’d be more than happy too, Grandiana.” Dallas said, sending her into the cryonics room while totaling how much more the commission for all of that was going to look on his numbers. Just today’s double cryo would be a sizable increase in his numbers from last week! Horvath was an idiot, Grandiana was a whale and he wasn’t doing his due diligence to service her enough. He deserved to have Grandiana poached out from under him.

Dallas pulled out his Data-Net and saw that Kit had messaged him:

“Hey, meet me in the cafeteria for lunch after your next session! Just had the wildest experience with Chubbs!”

Chubbs was the nickname that Kit had for one of her patients who was not overweight (so the nickname wasn’t insensitive jeering). Chubbs was obsessed with Carl Weathers’ character from the Adam Sandler cinematic universe, Chubbs Peterson, the one-handed retired golf pro. He had only appeared in two films, Happy Gilmore and Little Nicky (the second appearance was really only a cameo) but Chubbs (real name Carl Dagonovich) was completely fixated. Every session with that guy was a scene-for-scene retake of Chubbs Peterson’s cinematic chronology. It hardly seemed therapeutic but the business of mental health takes many paths.

“Wildest Experience With Chubbs sounds like the title of an overly-produced porn… So yeah, obviously I need to hear about this. I’ll meet up with you in about an hour and a half!” Dallas messaged back.

Dallas coded his notes on his session with Grandiana Kerfling while waiting for his next patient. But he kept glancing down at his Data-Net the whole time he was typing up the report. When Kit finally responded he spun his chair completely away from his desk to read her message.

“Wildest Experience With Chubbs is also sadly the story of every time I’ve ever masturbated in front of a mirror but PIZZA JUST TASTES SO GOOD!” Kit messaged back.

Athena sent Dallas a page, notifying him that his next patient had arrived. Dallas started walking towards the Holo-Therapy Suites but he didn’t look up from his Data-Net, he just walked while typing a reply.

“Ewww… Why are you tasting pizza while masturbating in front of mirrors? Listen, if you ever need to talk about anything… I’d actually recommend you speak to Doctor Horvath because that guy is like, real good.” Dallas chuckled to himself as he typed it out.

“I meant pizza in the royal sense, stupid, obviously I don’t eat pizza while masturbating. I eat pot roast because I am a class act.”

Dallas stopped in the middle of walking to let out a short chuckle at Kit’s response. He smiled as he began typing back.

“Yeah, well have fun with your royal pizza or whatever you are doing with it, I’m about to start a session.”

Dallas snapped his Data-Net shut and watched his next client stalk through the security post. Daisuke Hernandez was a complicated man and Dallas hadn’t quite pinned him down yet but he was able to get along with him well enough to sell him a premium scenario for every visit.

“Darasu-San.”

“Hernandez-San, I trust you would like to run the same scenario today? Samurai and Banditos fight off the Giant Killer Praying Mantis?”

“Hai.”

“Sounds good, I’ve got a lot planned for you, I think we’re going to make some real progress. Who knows, by the end of today’s session, I might even upsell you from your usual zero-grav pod to a electrolysis massage for your decompress and debrief regimen.” Dallas said as they went into the holo-therapy room.

An hour and two minutes later and Dallas had done exactly what he had set out to do. Dallas had filled the scenario with so much nuance and subtlety Daisuke agreed to the upcharge. Another sale, two in one day for Dallas was unheard of. This was his personal best. All because he was strong enough.

Dallas checked his Data-Net once he had sent Daisuke Hernandez on his way. He had a message from Kit that was just a pot roast emoji and he grinned at that. Another message from Athena told him that he needed to call his boss back. The grin faded slightly, but only slightly. Mr. Fukunaga wasn’t so bad, really. His advice seemed to really be helping.

“Hey, I’ll meet up with you in ten minutes, I just have to make a real quick call!” Dallas messaged Kit as he rushed back to his office.

Once he was situated he initiated the call with Mr. Fukunaga.

“Ahem, hello? Who is this?” Charles Fukunaga demanded.

“Yes sir, this is Dallas, the doctor from Branch 7 that you spoke to yesterday, I was returning your call.” Dallas responded hastily.

“Yes! Dallas! Well, yes, fantastic! I was just looking at everything you’ve accomplished today! I swear, you’ve done better just this morning than you did all last week! I see you took my pep-talk to heart then, did you?”

“Yes sir, I—”

“Good, that’s good… Ahem, you know, the company, and by extension me personally, just want the staff of all Fukunaga Mental Health branches to be happy, comfortable, and loved! I want to make sure you are as fulfilled as you can be by working for us…

Can I get real with you for a second, Dallas? Just really real and raw and uncut? I want you to be really fulfilled! Just in every, ahem, EVERY way.

You know, I’m something of an older man. I’m hitting the ass-end of my fifties now. And I’ve started something new. I’m now the… well… I’m an active participant in a polyamorous relationship with two trans-women and a hyper-sentient android with three separate personalities. The six of us are very happy and VERY fulfilled.

I just, well, I just want to make sure that you are as happy as I am. I want you to find your polyamorous six-way! Do you have that, Dallas? Do you have somebody? Or five somebodies even?”

Dallas hesitated. For a lot of reasons.

“No, sir, I guess I can’t quite say that I do have what you have.”

“Well, m’boy, I want you, right now, I want you to really evaluate yourself. Ahem, and I want you to take that advice I gave to you and I want you to really apply it across every part of your life. You do that and I know that you will be the best Cyber-Psycho-Therapist that this company has. You’re good at what you do but I know you can be great at what you do. Now go back out there and do what you do! Fukunaga out!”

Dallas sat at his desk, staring at the blank spot on his wall between two of the Simpsons prints. It seemed endless in a way. It was so empty that it was able to completely consume him and remove him from the reality of the conversation that he just had with his boss. The blank spot was comforting for just a few moments. And then he remembered that he had just told his boss that he was alone. He told his polyamorous boss that he was alone.

Goddamnit.

“I’m on my way now… I’m… This day has been weird. Be right there.” Dallas messaged Kit.

When Dallas got to the cafeteria, he looked around until his eyes landed on a secluded corner with one solitary doctor eating her lunch. Kit’s hair was down, she was peeling a fresh orange, she was wearing the white lab coat that she swore made her look “more like a doctor”. Dallas had known her for so long and she had never looked better than right that moment. She was like if his eyes could drink hot chocolate.

Dallas grabbed himself a neon meal shake that advertised “all the power of lasers in one bottle” before sitting down next to his best friend. She told him about Chubbs, he told her about Horvath, Kerfling, and even Hernandez. He left out his talk with Fukunaga. She was so happy that he was getting his numbers up. She was always happy with him. Dallas liked to chase that feeling.

“You’re pronouncing that wrong.”

“What?”

“You’re pronouncing Chuck Palahniuk’s name wrong.”

“Bullshit, I watched the special edition blu-ray with commentary and Edward Norton prono—”

“Yeah, he pronounced it wrong too.”

“Well how do you know, genius?”

Do you have somebody? Or five somebodies even?

“Because I met him. He signed my copy of Choke. I asked him to write in the inside cover how to phonetically pronounce his name and he did. See, here is a picture of it right here.”

Kit pulled up a picture of the book on her Data-Net and there it was, plain as day. Chuck Palahniuk’s autograph right next a pronunciation key in his hand-writing.

“Wow… Ok, well that is wild.” Dallas said, incredulously.

“Yeah, well you should know better than to doubt me.”

“I didn’t doubt you… I was just hesitant to immediately doubt Edward Norton. He just seems so smart… Also, figures that you would have him sign Choke. I haven’t even read that.”

“Yeah, well I own a signed copy that I am not going to let you borrow so good luck never reading it.” Kit laughed, her eyes always shut when she laughed, it was this moment of sincere vulnerability any time she laughed. Dallas had learned to appreciate that. She was a licensed Cyber-Therapist, any of the smart ones knew to never be vulnerable.

You will get everything you want because decided to take it.

While her eyes were closed, Dallas leaned in and kissed Kit on her smiling lips. He felt her tense up for the fraction of a second but immediately relax as she kissed him back… for almost a full second before pulling herself away.

“Dallas, what the fuck? I’m… I’m… you can’t do that! You know I’m with Jiro!” Kit was blushing, her smile was down-turned into a scowl, and her brow was furrowed. Her tone was both panicked and indignant and… yes, angry. An individual’s whose career was based around interpreting human behavior might say that this was a wholly negative reaction.

Dallas began to feel shame injected into his face and neck and start to run down his back. He felt it seep closer to his extremities with each heartbeat until he finally felt it in his fingertips.

“Kit, I’m…” Dallas trailed off. He knew there were no words that could ever make this alright.

“Please don’t tell Jiro.” Dallas said numbly. He stood up and walked out of the cafeteria while Kit was flustering. She called after him but he kept walking. He went past his office, past the Zero-Grav Pods, past the Cryo-Bath Tanks, past Athena the android assistant, down the elevator, out of the building and began to walk home. There was no saving that situation. Probably.

Dallas, Kit, and Jiro had been friends for the last 15 years. They had gone to school together as three best friends until a year and a half ago when Kit and Jiro started dating. Dallas had never had a single romantic feeling for Kit for thirteen and a half years until she was with Jiro.

Why did I do that? That wasn’t strength… That was weakness. I am pathetic.

Dallas made it home when he realized his car was still at work. And that he was still supposed to be at work. And that Mr. Fukunaga had told him to get his sales up or he would be fired. And that… No. Nothing mattered right now.

Dallas lay down in his bed, fully clothed. His eyes landed on his bedside table where he had left the note. That note that Mr. Fukunaga had told him to write to himself. Back when Mr. Fukunaga was threatening to fire him still.

Dallas reached over and unfolded the note and read it.

“Tomorrow, you will be stronger and you will get everything that you want because you decided to take it.”

Dallas tore the note into pieces, rolled over, and began to cry into his pillow.

submitted by /u/Cursed_Apricot [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/2ITYAoF