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The problem with publishing my WIPs on AO3 is that most of them are tied to my Fate AU with my Mastersona OC and I don't really have anything together for that like an overview or a ref sheet or a profile because my life is a mess and also I've been kind of changing it a bit over the years.
#the biggest thing i added was the clone thing#and to be fair part of it was using the au as escapism to work thru some stuff in my life#at the time i kept looking/hoping for a neat tidy 'solution' that'd give a happiest ending#and finally just kind of realized there *wasn't* any easy answer just like there wasn't in my life#and you know. no way to undo all the bad stuff that happened etc.#therapy wouldn't magically fix everything.#i like myra where she's currently at even if it involves some genuinely worrying behaviors lmao#so i guess a big 'don't try this at home' disclaimer
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Hi there!
I'm working on a character for a story I'm writing, where all the people have wings. The main character is a burn survivor, and it rendered her left wing useless when it came to flying. However, I wanted to have her get a kind of reconstruction surgery or a wing prosthetic to help her fly again. I've read a number of your posts, so I'm considering reworking this, but I wanted to know your perspective on it.
Also, if you can, do you have any resources on burn survivors and daily burn scar care?
Thanks!
Hi!
I think that you have a couple options when it comes to making her fly again!
Making her able to fly the same as before could be disability erasure somewhat, so I would warn against that. But that doesn't mean she can't fly at all!
If you decide to make her fly again;
It will take time. She shouldn't be able to relearn mobility in a week. Show it as a slow, time-consuming process. Depending on the exact injury it could be months or years.
Include physical therapy! Potentially other types as well, like occupational therapy. If it's a society where everyone has wings, I'm sure there would be specialists for this kind of stuff like we have for legs.
Recovery takes a lot of effort. It shouldn't come to her too easily. A lot of it is pain and fatigue and taking breaks to recover from recovering.
She might not be able to fly the exact same as before, even if you go with the above. You can have her fly shorter distances, have pain while doing it, or be fully unable to do it on some days.
When she does start to fly again, she could end up damaging her other wing via an overuse injury (her damaged wing wouldn't be able to keep up for at least a while). Recovery is a very non-linear process, and she could be coming back to physical therapy for new problems even after she relearns flying. That is a part of life for a lot of disabled people, for example manual wheelchair users having to do PT for shoulder strain injuries caused by pushing the wheelchair.
This way you can show the recovery process without erasing her disability at the end! Some disabled people do get better, but the point is to not make it a Magic Surgery that just fixes everything because that's not how it works most of the time. Sometimes it even opens up the doors to new problems - remember that both prosthetics and especially surgeries have very real complications.
For burn care, I recommend this post I made!
I hope this helps!
mod Sasza
#mod sasza#liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiily#burn survivor representation#fantasy disabilities#fantasy species#cure trope#acquired disability representation
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Whumptober 2024 - Day 31
I originally wrote this for Day 30 but then I got possesssed all over again
TWs: beating, broken bones, revenge that doesn't feel how it should, gore
Asking For Help | Therapy | Making Amends | “I’m alive, I’m just not well.”
Wheezing, rattling breaths were the only noises still lingering in the air. Silence had filled the gaps that the raw, throaty screams left behind when they'd faded. The man before them no longer looked like a man.
Felix pressed a hand to their mouth and found that the awful smell of blood just got stronger. This should be better. This should be wonderful, they thought. This was supposed to feel good.
Seeing Mariano Ortiz, bleeding and broken on the floor should've fixed...everything. Their grief. The holes his awful magic had torn in their family tree. Everything was supposed to be fine now.,
They just felt nauseous. The bat felt disgusting against their palm. They felt disgusting.
He hadn't fought back. He hadn't begged. He just said he didn't blame them.
He said he wouldn't press charges the same way you'd tell someone you forgave them, even as Felix cracked the bat over his shoulder.
They'd watched the trial, of course. Of course they had. It had been perfect, seeing him be sentenced to life. But nothing could be perfect.
He didn't even serve a decade.
"Good behavior" was the reasoning. Felix hadn't been able to sleep the night he found out that Ortiz had been released. It didn't matter that he'd told people and got the program shut down. He should've told them sooner. He should've done something sooner.
His boss was one fucking guy. The war mages took down hundreds and hundreds at a time, what was one guy? Even if they'd been afraid he'd kill them, what did that matter when they were killing so many more people?
Ortiz had asked for death and been denied. Felix suddenly found themself wanting to deny him death, too. "God..." They whispered as he tried to raise his hand but only succeeded in moving the half of his forearm closest to his elbow. They saw the skin bulge where the broken end of a bone pressed against it. "What the fuck have I done?"
A ding-ding-rrrrrring from their phone snapped them out of their horrified stupor. Their roommate was calling. Felix picked up.
"Hey Feels," She said. "I'm at that Plains place you like, what do you want? They have fresh empanadas today."
"Star, I need to come pick me up. Right now." Felix said, voice trembling and haunted. "I'm in the warehouse on fifth. The shitty one."
"Felix? What's wrong? Are you okay?" Star asked, the jingle of keys drifting through the speaker. "Did that hookup go bad? Do I gotta kill someone?"
"...I fucked up bad." Felix breathed, watching as only half of Mariano's chest rose and fell. "Remember that guy I told you about? The one that killed my aunt's like...whole side of the family?"
"Yeah? You need help with a body?"
"No." Felix hissed, nausea rising higher. "Just. Get here, just get here. And bring some scale water. I...he's going to need your healing magic."
"...Okay." Star said after a moment. "I'm still in my scrubs, so this works out I guess. See you in ten."
"Thank you Star." Felix whispered. They didn't hang up.
They couldn't take their eyes off the man in front of him. If Star didn't get there soon, they'd be no better than him. Really, what was the difference?
What did you even do once you became a murderer?
@whump-captain @whumpr @whumperofworlds @lektricwhump @cyberwhumper
@bxtterflystxtches @inscrutable-shadow @whumpbees @painful-pooch
#whumptober2024#No.31#Asking for help#Oc#Fic#Gore#Broken bones#Revenge#Beating#Mage of violence#No hard feelings#Modern au#THATS IT#EVENT COMPLETED#HAHAHA I DID IT
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I did a character analysis on John Seed
As we know, John is the baby brother of Jacob and Joseph. He is also the Baptist of Eden's Gate. We know he's pretty wealthy, judging by his appearance, as well as the ranch he owns. But what do we not know about John Seed?
In the Book of Joseph and in-game, we get bits and pieces of John's past, but we never really get the full-scale of it all. we also never get John's point of view. But with everything I've gathered, we can try to see John as a person and know more about his personality.
CHILDHOOD
Before the separation of him and his brothers, John was a happy, go-lucky, loving, caring kid. John would've been the type of person to pick flowers for a pretty girl, or he would've given or even made gifts for those he cared about. If you were crying or were upset, he would've tried to comfort you. Unlike his brothers, John wailed out in pain when he was being beaten, yeah sure we could say that it was because John was a young child, but even before John was born, Joseph used to be beaten and not even flinch when he was a child. This gives us the hint that John is (or was) very sensitive to pain. After he was separated from his brothers, John was adopted by a wealthy, and highly religious family known as the Duncan's. Right away, the Duncan's believed John's soul to be riddled with sin. There is a theory backing this up. John Seed...is left-handed...here's why it makes sense. In Christianity, being left-handed is seen as evil by most, "as those who 'fall from God' are sent to his left hand side (Matthew 25:32-33). The fallen go to the left. Jesus sits at God's right hand side." Being left handed has also been associated with black magic, many left-handed people are still forced to use their right hand because of this superstition. The Duncan's probably thought John was a normal, innocent child at first. People as highly religious as the Duncan's more than likely wouldn't have adopted John otherwise. So what probably happened was that soon after John was adopted, he was probably working on his homework, writing with his left hand, and that's how the Duncan's found out. In the Book of Joseph, Joseph mentions that John was told 'every movement meant temptation' which sounds vague but makes a lot more sense if those movements were done with his left hand. For the most part, John uses his right hand if he's using them consciously. Subconsciously or even unconsciously, he uses his left. Hurk points out that John's lettering is terrible when tattooing. Hinting that John had his left-handed dominance beaten out of him. John's own tattoos are shakily done, further backing up the left-handed theory. Examples from the game are;
Using his left hand on Hudson's throat during his broadcast.
Gripping the Junior Deputy's wrist with enough strength to keep them there, despite the fact that he's dying at that point.
He uses his left hand on his chest to make circular movements...twice, (once in his broadcast, another in his bunker when we talk to him after escaping our confession.) Both times he talks about sin. This hints that John being left-handed is one of his many sins.
Some of the promo art for John shows him using his tattoo gun with his left hand.
Because John had been told that he was riddled with sin his whole life, he developed an obsession with atonement. With proving himself to be free of sin and worthy of love. Also the struggle he seems to have with his two personas. With that, we have God in the center (The Duncan's), John Duncan on the right, and John seed on the left.
And one more thing to note, all of John's sins are tattooed on his left hand.
So with that knowledge, John was tortured and severely interrogated by his parents, he was even sent through many fundamentalist pastors, most likely John was sent through a type of conversion therapy to fix his hand dominance. Out of all of John's siblings, he went through the most psychological abuse.
As John was going through interrogation, he had to confess any and all sins he committed, after a while, John learned that even if he had nothing to hide, he would have to make something up to try and lessen the beatings, but no matter what John said or did, he would be beaten anyway. John Learned how to disguise himself with what others wanted to see. With this he became extraordinarily skilled at manipulation and has used it to acquire info about people to use it for his own advantage.
TEEN/EARLY ADULTHOOD
John graduated high school as Valedictorian and attended a prestigious east coast law school. This heavily hints that John went to Harvard, I mean what other Prestigious East Coast Law School is there besides Harvard? John graduated at the top of his class, and given John's age and how long he's been a lawyer, it's most likely that John graduated Harvard very early, showing us that John is incredibly intelligent.
Let's take a step back though. Statistically, children that grow up in an abusive or even neglectful homes typically have very poor grades, so what does this say about John? Well all John ever wanted was to be loved and be worthy of love, so I think John believed that if he strived academically, then his parents would finally be proud of him and start showing him love, but alas, John's parents passed away sometime in his early adult years, never granting him that opportunity. I believe John grieved after his parents death, but not for the fact that they passed, but for the fact that he didn't make them proud and now he never will.
After John graduated is when it is believed that the Duncans passed and John inherited a small fortune and became one of the fastest rising lawyers in Atlanta, specifically, John is a real-estate lawyer. Overtime, John became incredibly wealthy and developed all sorts of connections, portraying himself as a physical sign of success. Although John was wealthy, strikingly handsome, successful, intelligent, and well-liked, John actually hated himself and society for what it had done to him and his childhood, and even wished for its destruction.
John had written a note titled "My New Father", it talks about how he feels about Joseph and himself.
"I feel like I've been born again; given a second chance at life. I have a father who loves me. I've never known such love. On the outside, I met the requirements of a well-adjusted adult. But inside, that was a different story. Inside you found a tormented boy, damaged and afraid. Rejection and fear controlled my life then. Today, it is acceptance and love that drives me forward."
The context of the note show us that John most likely suffers from Avoidant Personality Disorder.
After a while, John had given himself up to unholy pleasures and became addicted to drugs and sex. In the Book of Joseph it mentions that cocaine was passed around at parties that John himself had hosted. Therefore hinting that John was addicted to cocaine.
When Joseph contacted John, he was working as an associate at a major law firm, undertaking the redevelopment of his childhood neighborhood in Rome. After finding each other, John joined Joseph and found Jacob at the Veteran's Center. John undertook the roles of the Confessor, the Baptist, and the Public Face of Eden's Gate.
PRESENT DAY
Upon arriving in Hope County, John used his fortune to buy up land and property throughout Holland Valley without hassle and quickly became acquainted with the legal system in Montana.
DESCRIPTION
John is described differently by many people. Some say "he's a funny man, but not the 'haha' type of funny." Others say he's a 'creep' and that he has 'a creepy smile'. One person had said that "there's no soul behind those eyes", John has also been described to have a "very intense gaze".
Adelaide is very attracted to John. She makes many lewd comments about him such as "he is bangable as he is crazy", "he's on my 'any hole' list", "bet John gives the best spankings", "killing him would be a waste of a perfectly good set of buns", that she wouldn't mind letting him "harvest her valley", ect. She likes his coat, so much so that she says she wants to see xander in it with nothing on underneath. She is also jealous of his ranch. She also says that he's playing a "strange game" with the Deputy and thinks he might be in "some kind of love" with them.
Charles believes that John has an inferiority complex, and that out of his entire family, he understands John the least, saying that he should've been a wall street megalomaniac instead of a baptist.
Dutch warns the Deputy that "John doesn't make empty threats". Dutch has already saved multiple people from John's Cleansings. He calls him "little ole Johnny" at one point.
Grace believed that she would be the one to kill John and says she hopes she will never forget the sight of his plane falling. Maybe she'll get it tattooed on her one day> According to her, "the more you ruffle his feathers, the angrier he gets" because "he can't deal with embarrassment" or "being made to look bad". She calls his ranch "Hypocrite Center". She thinks he's "too much of a fucking pussy" to come and get the Deputy and their companions personally. After his death, she believes he is in Hell.
Hudson is disappointed she didn't get to see him die. She recalls that, when the Deputy fled the bunker after the Confession and even though he didn't say anything, it was obvious John thought he had failed. She adds, things then got 'worse', as if he was trying to prove something to Joseph. She is for "instant death penalty" for people like him.
Hurk Jr. suggests that, since John believes in the "Power of YES", screaming 'yes' at him several times should force him to leave them alone. He hopes he would at least act like it did something to him. He says "Johnny boy" wants to invite him in his bunker but that he invites John to "kiss [his] entire asshole" instead. He also comments he is "lusting for a dogfight" with the Deputy before humorously suggesting dogfights probably turn John on. He says he is glad he died because he never learned proper lettering or font techniques so his tattoos looked terrible.
Jerome thinks he is 'cruel & selfish'. He was once kidnapped by him and forced to confess. He still seems shocked he said what he said... He was then beaten and left for dead in the woods. He thinks John enjoys making people suffer, that he is 'a con-man', that he just "seeks glory and riches", and that he "immersed himself in a sea of self-aggrandizement". Long ago, he asked John what was driving him and says that, while he gave him many answers, all of them were lies.
Jess calls him "a piece of shit", maybe the worst she's ever met. She says he had his ranch built just for him and that he likes to scare people with his plane.
Kim says he once sent his men to try and pressure her into selling their property when nick was away. One cultist got too close and she broke his nose. They tried to have her arrested after the incident but Merle helped get a restraining order.
Larry calls him an 'unsavory fellow'.
Mary May says he is "one son of a bitch". She remembers the first time he set foot in the Spread Eagle and how he looked at her, like she was 'a meal'. The day he gave her a tattoo, she says he made her wait half a day in a room before eventually letting her go without harming her.
Merle says he isn't superstitious but he still asks if someone put a stake through his heart when he died, just in case. At one point, he calls him "John Fuckface Seed".
Nick says John stole all the baby equipment people had given them and that John said his sin was Greed. Nick disagrees because he just wants to support his family and it's not a sin.
Sharky says he knows pressure points that can make people feel immense pain. Like Adelaide, he thinks John is sexually attracted to the Deputy and that they should "just fuck and get it over with". He loves to make fun of him, saying he is the type of guy to masturbate in front of a mirror and to marvel at his facial expressions, that he is "like that little brother who gets farted on", joking he got 'the clap' so many times he was "diagnosed with a standing ovation", calling him "old Johnson", ect.
Wendell thinks he would fit in well in Washington because he is a Charismatic liar.
Zip believes his "athiest masters" use his bunker for "sexual rituals".
NPCs say the key around John's neck is the only key to the deeper parts of his bunker, where the people they kidnapped are locked. Apparently, John calls it "the Key to Paradise". They warn the deputy he always gets what he wants, one way or another, that they can't run from him, and that every time you meet him, you come away with scars. They seem surprised he insists on catching the Deputy alive. He bought most of the businesses in the area but gave jobs to the cultists only. They imply he made it illegal to hunt in Holland Valley. One civilian wonders if he has a big book with everyone's name in it and if he will come for them personally. When he Marks someone, he then sends them a video. They think one of the reasons why he almost drowns people during the baptisms is because it's "a power play". According to them, his bunker is the cult's pantry and the only way to get in is to be "invited". John wants people to say "yes" but someone thinks he likes it when people say "no" because it gives him "an excuse to get mean". He has reportedly always been obsessed with the people of Fall's End, and especially with Mary May. He and Eden's Gate wanted Nick's plane and they didn't like it when he told them to "fuck off". People say Hudson is tough and it will be difficult for John to break her but they also say he "loves a challenge"... One man who had to confess says he manages to make people say things they didn't want to say. After seeing his ranch, a lot of civilians think he has awful taste in interior decorating and that he has "the worst case of younger sibling syndrome". they have ever seen. A woman explains he likes to "throw his weight around" while another says he has "scars that run deep" and that, deep down, maybe he wants to die.
They say he is relentless, a "rapaticious thug", a "Psychopath", a "Pestilence", a "Pissant" (compared to Jacob), a "Sadistic Cat", "the runt/baby of the Seed Family", a "goddamn pussy", a "human toilet", a "bully", a "snot-nosed fearful little shit", a "bona fide nut job", a"control freak", "such a neat freak it's inhuman", a "little punk", "super emotional", someone with a "singular mind" (the one of a serial killer), that he has an aggressive/creepy grin and a scary look on his face. They hate him but seem less afraid of him than they are of Faith and Jacob. Some even talk about "descrating his corpse or his sepulture" (they don't say such things about the other Heralds).
A few people believe he is just Joseph's puppet and no better than his dog. One woman thinks he never had Joseph's full confidence, unlike Faith. They say John sees his brother as a father and they hope that because of the Deputy's actions, Joseph will be ashamed of him and even "disown" him. It seems Jacob always tried to look out for him.
COMMENTS ABOUT THE OTHER CHARACTERS
John calls the Deputy to tell them Jerome is "selfish and misguided" and that his followers wouldn't have left him if he were "a true man of God".
He says the Deputy is "a murderer and a coward", and comments that they don't seem to give "a second thought to killing". According to him, their sin is Wrath. He claims he "personally" knows the feelings that drive them and can help them wash away their sins. He desperately tries to make them understand they are not on the right path and, while he admires their will and tenacity, he seems sad they refused to listen to him and didn't care about what he tried to say.
Wow, a lot to unpack here. So most of the comments are negative, even a few of the cult members had some negative and odd things to say, but what can we gather from these comments?
Well... to the Eden's Gate members, he is an odd man and seems very creepy, but why?
John is a very lustful man with a lot of Wrath and Lust within him. It seems that John and other Eden's Gate members have a lot of sex considering that people have said that his home smells funny and people claim that they have sexual rituals in his bunker. Many comments have been about how John gets "turned on", by dogfights, forcing people to confess by hurting them, that he loves to put up a fight and deal with challenging people. John knows pressure points that cause immense pain, is skillful with a knife, and that he's playing games with the Deputy. John, I believe was once secretly part of the BDSM community, given the fact that causing pain excites him and that he knows where the most pain is caused, only those of the BDSM community know where those are and to either avoid it or use it for pleasure. He almost drowns people during baptisms as a "power play". Also when John gets done with Nick during the 'Atonement'... he is literally MOANING as he's cleaning himself off, NEED I SAY MORE!?
When it comes to upsetting John, it's best not to as he's known for fulfilling his threats, so don't take him lightly. He seems to get angry a lot to hide his embarrassment, he also seems to scare people using his plane as leverage, he does all these things simply to scare people and not actually harm them, but it seems he also uses it as leverage and seems to always win. There are many mean and terrible things said about John, even the fact that people hope Joseph will disown his own brother. But there is so much about John that is well hidden until you start to dig...
First of all, it's blatantly obvious John has a big crush on the Deputy, from the way he looks at us for a second after he lifts us out of the water after almost drowning us, to when he has to pause before turning around to meet our gaze in the bunker, to the wedding theme before the 'Atonement' at the church.
I'm going to further elaborate on John's behavior in the bunker. When John has to pause before looking at us, it seems he's trying to prepare himself and keep his cool, you know, "like omg my crush is right here, act cool." When John slams down the industrial stapler to look at us... his hips sway and he stares with admiration in his eyes. When he comes up to us to assemble his tattoo gun, he slows down his speech as he stares at the Deputy's chest, he was lost in thought for a moment, most likely because he was probably thinking what we would look like without a shirt on. He also rips open our shirt to look at our chest, before looking back up at us, and down at our lips for a split second before looking back up at our eyes. So yeah, John has a very OBVIOUS huge crush.
John is rarely understood, many people just call him sadistic and crazy, but deep down, John is a scared child who has been starved of love and affection (this is why he represents Famine), and perhaps even genuinely cares about people and the Deputy.
I'll elaborate and it might take a while...
stay tuned for part 2
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I closed the door to Bl/each after the tragedy of 6/86 and briefly opened a window to LA, because well that pair is my weakness and it made me laugh how treacherously I/R it was.
So when weeks ago I saw a beautiful I/R fanart on Tik Tok (The anime came back, so the algorithm decided it was a good idea to torture me), and the response to a comment that said "They should have ended up together "was "READ THE MANGA", I was baffled. I mean, what did that mean? had I read a fake manga all those years and the "real manga" appeared Da Vinci Code-style after 2016? Was it all a Jump conspiracy? Have we been duped all this time?
That piqued my curiosity, so I wandered around several sites, reading publications from the "correct/canon/real manga" point of view; and well, you'll see even worse things the bible says.
Here are my favorites:
"The I/H was evident from the beginning, just read chapter 0": yes, because a one-shot that is a sketch of the general idea of a manga, that goes through many revisions and rewrites is absolutely determinant in the development of the main manga, and seriously, what exactly is the evidence?
"HM arc is the ultimate proof of I/H, he went to rescue her and even came back from the dead for her": well, so did her other friends and even R/enji and R/ukia, maybe they were all in love with her too. And about the resurrection...just...never mind.
"I/H are perfect for each other" Here I could do a whole essay from a psychological point of view that proves that it is an absolute fallacy and was more than clear in the FB arc, in real life they wouldn't work and would be a toxic couple. And God knows at least that boy needs therapy.
"O***ime looks like Ma/saki" * Bombastic side eye. Criminal, offensive side eye *
"O***ime deserves I/chigo”: Oh, so he was some kind of trophy for being a good girl, so it wasn't enough to objectify her, they also do the same with the boy.
"Ru/kia was a shinigami and I/chigo was a human, and she's much older than him, their relationship was impossible." *Everything but the rain entered the chat*.
"I/H fought together against Y/wach": And we all know how well they (he) did, right?
"W/D/k/A/L/Y": *sigh* that's what it looks like when you try to fix a mess and fail miserably.
"W/D/k/A/L/Y's scribble": ...
"Anime invented IR": The studio simply pushed something that was already implicit in the original material and they knew it would sell more, it's basic marketing. Most of us knew what was filler and what wasn't (rolls eyes).
And there definitely wasn't a parallel manga that magically made sense of that ending. What a disappointment.
And I/R are the delusional and lacking in compressive reading? It's so much easier to say you just don't like people ship I/R, instead of sending them to read the manga or giving lazy arguments. Pathetic.
This was long, but I just needed to vent or something, because I honestly found the whole situation absolutely hilarious.
My English is broken, so I hope I have been understood.
PS: So in my delusional mind I/R is right now enjoying his honeymoon on the beach *wink**wink*.
Blessings.
As someone that didn't leave after the ending and has seen all these "amazing points" take form and basically became the classic "IH and pro ending dudebro agenda" list, let me tell you, I was and still am baffled too. No matter how many times I read them, I still get shocked at how some really believe that bunch of BS, or better they keep repeating it untill they'll believe it.
You adressed them in a simple but direct and straight to the point way, I don't even need to add anything to what you said, agree to all of it, wait lol well maybe I could add the the pilot chapter lit has In0ue de0d at the end of it but what do we know, that doesn't seem to matter to them lol it doesn't have to make sense smh
In our delusional mind that ichiruki honeymoon on the beach is so vivid and real... I wonder why lmao
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This feels comparatively minor in the grand scheme of everything going on with Ruby's writing, but given that I think it connects to the overall issue of the team's mishandled emotions, I want to lay out a (potential?) nitpick here.
Anyone else confused by Jaune's Penny-focused trauma?
"What are you talking about, Clyde?" I hear the imaginary voice in my head that likes playing Devil's advocate exclaim. "Jaune just killed Penny last Volume! You said yourself that the story needed to grapple with that to have any hope of salvaging this plot-line. In what world shouldn't he be grieving a recent, horrifically tragic death that he intentionally brought about?"
Well, yeah... but it's only recent to the viewer and the characters. For Jaune it's been decades. We don't know precisely how much time has passed, but it's long enough for him to have lived at least half a life here. So why is this event still at the forefront of his emotional struggle? Look, I'm not saying something that traumatizing wouldn't stay with Jaune for his entire life, nor am I saying that Team RWBY's arrival couldn't have re-triggered those memories (even though RT didn't write that happening). All I'm saying is that this is a character who has survived years in a foreign, dangerous landscape, so it's a little odd to me that something that - from his perspective - happened when he was a kid remains his emotional focus. From just what little we've heard about Jaune's life in the Ever After, he's accumulated a long list of new tragedies he could be grappling with: surviving the Jabberwalker, being betrayed and nearly killed by Alyx, loosing Lewis, the death of his village that happened mere moments ago. Penny's death doesn't feel like an event so significant that it trumps all Jaune's other trauma, it just feels like the writers not taking into account that he should be a fundamentally different person after so much time and growth. We're seeing this problem in other ways too, where beyond being "crazy" Jaune is still the same old Jaune, he doesn't seem to have improved in his combat, the Ever After hasn't changed him in any meaningful way beyond making him physically older.
(As a side note: the story might have done something interesting with that by introducing the concept that no one changes unless it's through Ascension. Lean hard into the idea of a fixed story where Jaune has essentially remained static for all this time, playing the same Knight role, succeeding in the same heroic deeds, forever trapped with a 19yo-ish personality/mind coming off of Penny's death. His body ages, but the rest of him stays precisely the same because this is a fairy tale that must be told the same way again and again and again...)
Anyway, I find this characterization particularly unpersuasive given how the rest of the cast tends to speedrun through "development." In this Volume alone we've seen 2/3rds of the team answer the, 'Are you a good huntress?' question in a single scene, Weiss has now gotten past destroying her Kingdom because all huntresses make mistakes, I guess, the group comes to terms with Ruby killing herself instantly after it happens, and Ruby herself is poised to be magically cured of her depression via tree therapy. RWBY argues that it takes incredibly little (if anything at all) for these characters to overcome trauma and become better versions of themselves, which in and of itself is a writing Choice, but throwing an older Jaune into the mix just makes it that much harder to swallow. You're telling me that after decades in the Ever After he never once got caught in the crossroads of a punderstorm, forced to work through Penny's death the way the bees worked through their romantic hesitance? Jaune never encountered any magical smoke that let him talk back to his past self and declare that he did everything perfectly, actually? Jaune spent years befriending the Paper Pleasers, but none of them ever gave him a self-reflective speech like Team RWBY got? This world that in a day has taken the girls through ALL their problems somehow didn't help Jaune after he spent a lifetime here?
Frankly, it's impossible to imagine (and no, I don't buy this 'Well Jaune was selfish and refused to accept things/move on' argument. That's a whole other kettle of worms involving RWBY's frankly insulting definition of 'accepting death' that I don't have time to get into here). Suffice to say, if Volume 9 was going to be the girls speedrunning through their development thanks to the Ever After's magic, Jaune should be a completely different person after spending a lifetime here. You can give us an older, more mature Jaune with an entirely new set of struggles to overcome while also grappling with Penny's death by having the girls learn that he killed her. I can't believe we're heading into the finale and Jaune has fallen off the tree without Ruby learning the truth, but beyond that it might have been interesting to see her grappling with such a horrific discovery while Jaune - through no fault of his own - has already had years to work through it. That would be something to let Ruby vent about. Let her be furious and disgusted that Jaune is so "indifferent" to her death when the audience can see that really he's just reached a point where he can talk about this without immediately breaking down; let her rage about him "murdering" her, getting closer and closer to a breaking point as Jaune tries to explain what it took him years to come to terms with (a perspective I personally don't agree with, but that the narrative is clearly pushing): he did it for the greater good, it was Penny's choice, and he is not responsible for the murder Cinder committed. Give me a freshly grieving, teenage Ruby set against an adult Jaune who has - as much as anyone can - come to terms with this death and let that dynamic help Ruby grow and better herself, using a friend and fellow leader as a model.
I mean sure, we're still left with Jaune getting a ton of focus and I know many fans despise him enough that this would be a big NO right out of the gate... but personally I'd take it over Ruby attempting suicide and Jaune, for some reason, still acting like Penny died yesterday, rather than a lifetime ago.
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As someone who is pretty openly suicidal on here, I gotta say yeah... there's really no help coming
Basically all I ever get is people (even close friends) just saying "you should get some professional help", and it's like... listen mate, I live 50 miles from the nearest place that would have a therapist, and even if it was free the gas is gonna cost a fortune not to mention the time. Either I need help finding an online therapist my insurance covers, or I need you to just leave me alone on this one
Cause the thing is, I'm suicidal every single day, and yet I haven't ever made an attempt, so while it's probably not good for me to be like this, it's clearly not a crisis
Not to mention, I've done therapy for years before I moved out here, and while it certainly helps, it can't just magically fix core problems like isolation
When you're suicidal, everyone's there to tell you to get help, but no one's there to actually help (I think that's true for suicidal women too)
I don't ask for help because no help's coming, and frankly even the times I've explicitly said "I need some help", I get none, so why bother asking?
I'm sure a lot of it boils down to not wanting to make things worse, so you just tell them to see a professional but, I mean it's not easy for me to find the right words when dealing with someone suicidal either, but cause I don't want them to be alone like I am I at the very least try to let people know that I value them, that they matter and make a difference in the world, and to try and keep reinforcing that
I'll be honest, I'm not ever gonna get help when it comes to all the stuff I need help with in person. I have to wrangle all that myself. I have to clean up after my mom who I let stay with me while getting zero help cleaning. I don't see that changing
I also don't really see me ever having anyone particularly like or care about me, or having any company. Oh sure, I'm agreeable enough that people like talking with me on here, but 100% of conversations end up with me supporting the other person and getting no support in return, which is probably my own fault
I really do hope I quit putting hanging myself off, I have everything I need and I've tested it months back and I don't think anything should snap... just keep not getting around to doing what needs to be done
In the mean time though, there's stuff to be done. I work at a tremendously slow pace, far too slow, but still gotta try and get things fixed up around the house for whoever I end up leaving it to once I'm gone
But yeah, you're right. There's no reason to talk about any of this because no help's coming for any of it. If you hadn't brought up people not talking because they don't get help, I wouldn't be talking here either. Frankly the best thing you can do is learn to just keep this kind of stuff to yourself
No help's coming for anyone, which is why it's important to try and help the people around you when you can, even if it's never enough
listen mate, I live 50 miles from the nearest place that would have a therapist, and even if it was free the gas is gonna cost a fortune not to mention the time.
I think this is important to mention. Oftentimes, the discussion revolves around the cost of the therapy itself while people don't always acknowledge things like this. You can't be dismissive of this and I find that some people are in a well-if-you-really-want-it-you'll-find-a-way. That's not always accessible for some people.
When you're suicidal, everyone's there to tell you to get help, but no one's there to actually help (I think that's true for suicidal women too)
I definitely feel that the way mental health help is given needs to change
But yeah, you're right. There's no reason to talk about any of this because no help's coming for any of it.
And not everyone gets this. I keep seeing people say that men need to speak up, but they are. A lot of them are telling you the problem but people don't like to listen. I saw one of those men need to speak up posts on instagram the other day and so many comments were from men repeating the same thing--that people don't listen when they talk about them or it gets used against them
And you wouldn't believe how many people disagreed with them, acting like that doesn't happen
They're literally proving their point
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Here is a one shot request from @mossthegoblinart this one was SO fun to write! It's very cheesy but I think it needed to be.. Sorry it's Beetlejuice is a bit ooc I've never wrote him in the "I'm gonna bully them so they push ME away" way I've always wrote him in the "I NEED TO BE PERFECT FOR THEM SO THEY LIKE ME PLSPSLPSLSPSLSPLSPSKSJSJMDBD" way so it definitely was hard 😭😭 BUT I HOPE U LIKE IT!! It's a whopping 3k words and if u see any Grammer errors nuhuh.
It was weird. Being in an actual *home*. Growing up he didn't even have a home, just a broken, gross, dumpster of a trailer. Sometimes Dante's was a home yeah but a guy can only be thrown out of a place so much before they ban him.
It felt so *weird* to be sitting in this basement. One minute he's green card marrying a teenager and now he's sitting in the basement.. Newly dead.
After all the chaos of Juno and the heartfelt goodbyes they found out that since he was newly dead and died in the house he couldn't exactly leave. The door was being used back and forth so much that it had stopped working, he had no idea how long it would take for it to start back up again but he didn't really mind. The longer he stayed here the longer he could be with Scarecrow.. And the maitlands not that he actually liked them at all, they were losers just losers with pretty faces! And soft hands. And pretty singing voices.. And were kind to him.. Tried to be anyway. They even just sat and listened to him ramble about the guacamole thing.. BUT LOSERS NONETHELESS.
Everything was so weird. He felt like a wolf in a sea of white sheep. Even though the deetz were FAR from normal in breather standards he still felt out of place. He didn't belong here but he was there nonetheless, but if he would be stuck with his favorite breathers on this planet why not make it a little fun. Just because he had to stay with them doesn't mean he would be boring.
It started out with a few harmless pranks. Salt top being unscrewed, charles ties all getting cut into dick shapes, Delia's crystals magically having bites taken out of them, Adams model having a mini dantes on it. It got worse soon. It went from harmless to harmful real quickly.
“Charles honey I'm going to hop into the shower!” Delia walked to Charles and pressed a kiss on his forehead. “Alright- wait- we should check it first.. Just to be safe” he slowly got up from the bed and walked to the en suite bathroom. “That dreadful demon broke the water heater. Gave me a burn on my hand!” He huffed and checked the bathroom.
Delia sat on the counter as he searched the bathroom. He tested the water, searched in the soaps, looked inside the shower drain but nothing seemed odd. “Charles honey he wouldn't do anything horrible to me, I think we've been getting along lately!” Delia smiled. “I've been giving him small therapy sessions and I think we've really bonded, I'm trying to get him to calm down on the pranks.. “
Charles looked at Delia, too kind to tell her that the demon wouldn't care at all. “Alright.. Just be careful, after the stunt he pulled with the maitlands I don't put it past him to start targeting us again..”
A few days prior Beetlejuice had been targeting mainly the maitlands for weeks. They had been dealing with the pranks, laughing a long but recently Beetlejuice had pulled a prank that worked up barbara so much that even he was to scared to fuck with her again. Barbara did not mess around when it came to her garden. He had ruined weeks of hard work with his stupid bugs and snakes eating everything up and she was livid. Even after he had fixed everything she was still a bit salty towards him.
“Delia's in the shower” he snickered looking over at Lydia.
“She's not gonna care beej” Lydia rolled her eyes and continued to brush through Bubbles hair. Bubbles was a stray cat Lydia had found at school a few weeks back and the whole family adopted the pretty little lady. She was a calico with a bit of a wobble but she was perfect.
“Yeah yeah whatever” he blew a raspberry at her and waited. And waited.. And waited.. And waited. But there was nothing, no scream, no ‘BEETLEJUICE!!’ no nothing. An hour passed and he was getting bored. “Lyyydiiaaaaa “ he whined, laying upside down on the couch now.
“Told you she wouldn't care beej” she gently whacked him in the face with the tv remote. She had put on some weird ghost movie half an hour ago.
A few minutes passed and Delia came down stairs, her hair a new vibrant color of purple. “Beetlejuice! How did you know I've been wanting to dye my hair lately? Oh you're such a little angel!” Delia smiled and walked to the couch.
“You what?” he seemed almost defeated as he sat up. “don't you h-” he was quickly squeezed into a hug from the woman and GOD she could hug. For such a tiny lady she had some strength. But the hug was.. It wasn't nice. He hated it, in fact it was a dumb hug! It was warm.. And tight, the pressure felt nice.. He could feel himself melting into it. He caught himself and growled a bit pushing Delia off. “Whatever” he flipped her off and sunk down into the floor, into his little basement bedroom.
“What did I do?” Delia looked a bit confused as she looked at Lydia. Lydia just shrugged and continued to watch her movie.
Beetlejuice paced back and forth, his arms crossed and his hair a mix of purple, orange and red. “I'm not a stupid fuckin-” he growled and grabbed a pillow and chucked it at the wall. It barely didn't anything. The red in his hair grew and he balled his hands into fists. “I'M NOT A DAMN ANGEL” he grabbed the pillow and bit it, ripping it with his teeth panting and growling.
He felt angry, he WAS angry. He needed to hit something, he needed to destroy something. He was a demon god damnit! He didn't help people! “People are supposed to DESPISE ME!” He continued to rip and tear into the pillow with his hands. “They should be scared of me not fucking!-” he couldn't even finish his sentence. He put his hands on his arms and scratched. Yes he was a demon but the bed was very comfortable and he didn't want to destroy it. He grit his teeth and plopped down onto the floor. “I'll show them- I'll show them I'm a fucking demon. A *rotten, evil, bastard of a demon.”
It was quiet. She didn't enjoy how quiet it was, that ment there was trouble. “Adam honey?” Barbara looked up from her crochet and over at Adam who was working on some miniatures.
“Yeah?” Adam responded but didn't really look up from what he was working on.
“Do you know what Lydia and Beej are up to?” Barbara just got a shrug from Adam. He was probably just too focused. It was almost dinner though, it's NEVER this quiet at night.
The family had gathered at the dinner table. Everyone was there except for Beetlejuice.
“Where's beej?” Lydia was first to ask as she peaked under the table.
“Oh! He offered to make dinner so he's in the kitchen right now finishing up!” Oh god no. Barbara couldn't even taste that much right now but the thought of eating beetlejuice's cooking made her nauseous.
Without another word there beej was, proudly walking in with multiple hands carrying everyone's food. Surprisingly it didn't look bad! It was some normal looking pasta.
“This is like the only thing I know how to cook so if ya don't like it you're gonna hurt my feelings” he grinned as he set a plate in front of everyone. It was some raviolis with marinara sauce, mushrooms and some onions. Lydia and the maitlands looked suspicious but Delia looked more than happy.
“Thank you so much Beej! It looked wonderful!” Delia smiled at him as he sat down on the other end of the table. Beetlejuice looked way too excited to see them eat. Grinning from ear to ear.
Delia took a bite and the others took it as a ‘it's safe’ and started to eat. The others were happily eating but Delia seemed just.. Confused. She chewed slowly before swallowing and looking down at her plate.
“What's wrong Delia?” Beetlejuice sounded weirdly innocent. “It's just a little beef, won't kill ya” he saw Delia freeze and everyone went silent.
“Y-.. That?-” Delia couldn't form the words as she grew nauseous. Breathing heavily and her throat burned. “I just.. That-..”
“What did you do?” Lydia sounded a bit angry as he glared at Beetlejuice before looking at Delia concerned.
“I just made my ma's recipe!..” He acted offended and sat up, putting a hand on his chest. “Oh wait.. Delia's vegan! Oh how could I forget!” He grinned and rolled his eyes. “Ya know how shit my memory can be kid” he chuckled and lifted his hair to show a smooth brain before he put his hair back down.
He looked over at Delia and she started to cry. It wasn't as loud as he hoped.. It was silent tears running down her cheeks and mumbling about how she was disgusting. His grin faltered a bit as he looked at her crying into the plate.
“Im- I'm a murderer” her voice was broken. He didn't mean to make her *this* upset. He just wanted a bit of yelling! Maybe some over dramatic wailing but she looked distraught. She looked like she actually *did* murder somebody.
He opened his mouth to apologize but it quickly snapped back shut. He's a demon, why the fuck should he care? “It was just a dumb cow Delilah! It's not like it's gonna come and haunt-” he looked besides Delia. “Oh never mind there's the ghost of it now!” He threw his voice and whispered into Delia's ear. “Why would you do this to me Delia.. I had a daughter!.. MOOOO”
Again he didn't get the over the top sobbing he wanted. She looked like she couldn't breathe now, gripping at her ears mumbling I'm sorrys. Charles and Barbara were quick to go to her side and comfort her.
“BJ WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” Now he expected that out of Charles or maybe even Barbara but not Lydia. His grin faltered again and he was choked up. “I- well!” He pursed his lips trying to speak. “Not my fucking fault she can't bother to check her food!”
“GO TO YOUR ROOM NOW BEETLEJUICE” Charles' voice boomed and he felt Charles glare through his dead soul. He shut up and quickly scattered to his room in the basement like a dog that had just gotten scolded for eating scraps off the table.
Hours passed and eventually it was found out that Beetlejuice didn't use actual beef in the food. It was vegan. Delia had calmed down but Charles and the maitlands were still angry. Lydia just seemed disappointed.
“I think it's about time we have a talk with him about all this-” Barbara finally spoke up. The five of them had moved to the living room. Barbara Charles and Delia were sat on the couch, Barbara and Charles on either side of Delia. Adam was in an old rocking chair and Lydia was in the lazy boy.
“I agree. At first the pranks were fine but now it's escalated and he needs to know this isn't ok.” Charles looked over at the door to the basement.
“Maybe we need to talk to him about what's ok and not ok?” Adam added. “with a mother like that I doubt he understands right from wrong..” He leaned back in the rocking chair, gently tipping it back before letting it go so he could rock.
“He- he has said he doesn't understand empathy..” Delia was quiet as she looked down at the table.
“That doesn't mean it's ok! Delia, you had a panic attack, I've had to go to the hospital to get my hand wrapped, Barbara's garden was destroyed, it's all going too far!” Charles looked at Delia, leaning forward to catch her gaze.
“me and Adam will go talk to him” Barbara stood up. “He's probably upset right now, we're ghosts so he can't accidentally hurt us” Barbara crossed her arms and looked at the basement door. “Once we calm him down or at least explain what we need to talk about we can bring him up and then we can all talk.”
The family all silently agreed and Barbara and Adam made their way down to the basement.
He could hear their faint talking. He was laying on the ceiling and trying to listen. He heard the stairs creaking and he fell bad to the floor, hitting his head. He groaned and sat up, rubbing the side of his head.
“BJ?” Barbara called. “Not now babes, got a headache.. Maybe later if you and sexy are up to it” he grinned at them but it fell when he saw Barbara's face. She looked mad.
“Beetlejuice. Your ‘pranks’ if you can even call them that have gone way too far!” Beetlejuice narrowed his eyes at her and stood up. “It wasn't even actual meat that's her fault for not knowing how the fuck to tell when somebody's playing a prank on her!” He spat out.
“That doesn't excuse what you did! All you've been doing in this house is hurt people! We let you live here, we gave you a space and your being ungrateful” it was horribly out of character for barbara to actually be *arguing* with beej but honestly she was fed up.
“God you breathers are really fucking stupid!” He grinned but he seemed more angry than happy. “it's like all of you” he walked closer to the couple as he spoke. His voice started to become distorted and a tail slid out from the back of his jacket. “I'm a DEMON” by the time he yelled he was glaring down at Barbara, just a few inches from her.
Usually this is the part where the maitlands run and scatter but Barbara just looked angry. She put a finger to his chest and started to push back. “Well demon or not you could at least show some manners!” When the hell did she get so strong? He started to take steps back, if he didn't voluntary step he would have been pushed over. “You are a member of this household and a part of this family whether you like it or not!” She yelled pointing a finger at him.
He was silent as his demon features slipped back into hiding. “A part of this family” he repeated in his mind. It didn't seem too bad. But it was scary. It wasn't familiar. He didn't belong here, bye wasn't like them. He wasn't perfect, he didn't do the whole family bullshit. “I'm not a part of your stupid delusional sitcom bullshit! You guys go play house as much as you want but don't fucking expect me to be an obedient little fuckin dog for you all!” He growled and Adam quickly pulled Barbara away. Barbara didn't look scared but Adam did. The fear in Adams eyes made his dead heart twist.
“Listen.. Beetlejuice we- we don't expect you to change everything you've known.” Adam swallowed. “We just want to coexist.. With you. You make Lydia so.. *so* happy and we know you can be kind.”
He was a bit frozen and he heard footsteps and more heart beats. Lydia and Delia. Charles was there but he stood at the basement doorway.
“Beetle?” Delia looked at him and he could see her puffy red eyes and the red that had taken over his hair was now a deep purple.
“Im.. I'm not you- you can't just-” he couldn't even think of what to say as Delia walked closer.
“Your hurt sweetheart” delias voice was soft like a mother's. It reminded him of how Argentina would talk to him when he was younger.
“No I'm not-” he was quick to respond.
Delia laughed lightly. “Not physically, Mentally.” Soon she was in front of him and her hand hovered over beetlejuices like she was waiting for consent. He narrowed his eyes in a confused look and just nodded.
Delia took his hand into hers and gently squeezed. “I know all of this is new to you but you have to understand that we feel hurt when you do things like this beetlebug” she smiled softly at him. “And you can deny it all you want but we want you here.”
“You just want me here because I can't go back home” he growled quietly but didn't make an attempt to pull away, the warm touch felt soothing.
“We want you here because you deserve it. Where's that kind little demon that had that silly little game show with us!” Delia smiled.
“I literally killed your guru and tried to kill you all too” there was a small pause.
“Yeah well Kevin was an asshole anyways.. And besides the almost dying thing I had fun!” She squeezed his hand a bit tighter. “You've helped us all so much hun”
He felt a bit dazed. At first he had only focused on all the evil shit he had done but he didn't even realize the cause and effect of everything.
“If you didn't show up me and Barbara would have never been able to keep our house the way it is” Adam chimed in.
“We wouldn't have met Lydia” Barbara added and looked over at Lydia with a soft smile.
“Me and Lydia would have grown closer apart if it weren't for you.” Charles had finally come down and stood next to Lydia, putting a hand on his daughters shoulder, gently smiling down at her.
“I wouldn't be here if you weren't on that roof bj” Lydia's voice was quiet but it was way for Beetlejuice to hear.
He didn't even notice the tears flowing down like a waterfall until he sniffled. “your all so fucking emotional” he sniffled again trying to wipe his eyes.
“Your the one that's crying dumbass “ Lydia snorted and walked over to beej, throwing her arms around him.
“yeah well you look like a stick of black liquorice” in retaliation Lydia Headbutted beetlejuice's ribs.
“Your apart of this weird little family whether you like it Beetlejuice” Delia wrapped her arms around Beetlejuice too.
“WE ARE NOT GROUP HUGGING RIGHT NOW” His voice cracked as he yelled. The body heat and the pressure made his head feel quiet. There weren't a million thoughts going on anymore. Before he knew it he was getting hugged by everyone in the house now.
He felt weird. His paranoia, his anxiety, it was gone. Everything felt so.. *safe* now. Safe with them.. He felt like his puzzle piece finally clicked into place instead of it getting jammed into it until it fit. He accepted the tears and let himself start bawling. Soft murmurs of comfort. Whispers of it was ok and telling him to let it all out.
Usually now was the time he forced everything away and he would get overwhelmed by everyone crowded around him but it felt perfect. He didn't feel like he was a burden. He was family.. He had a family. The deetz were his family.. The maitlands were his family. For once he didn't feel the need to run away and hide. He didn't need to, they wouldn't leave him. He was there family now.
#beetlejuice the musical#beetlejuice broadway#barbara maitland#lydia deetz#adam maitland#charles deetz#delia deetz#beetlejuice writing#oneshot requests#beetlejuice oneshot#alex brightman#brightjuice
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Hi!, hope you have a good day.
My question is if grimm let his body decay more often after fpk dissapeared, i remember you said he became numb after it.
hi! thank you, same to you! ❤️
to answer your question - yeah, most definitely, especially right after fpk's disappearance. he returned to hallownest a few times in hopes he'd find him there, but to no avail, and the realization that his love was most likely gone for good broke him
before he doubled down on drinking and other (arguably self-destructive) activities, he had a long period where he would simply stay in his tent all day long. and during that time, he stopped caring about the state of his body. he had no energy or will to leave, brumm and divine had to pretty much drag him out to prevent his body from completely withering away. after all, the troupe needed its master, without him it would inevitably fall apart
and thanks to the effort on their part, that period passed after some time. he started leaving his tent again, taking the troupe out to enjoy their time, and you'd think everything was back to normal. but looking closely, you'd notice there was still something off about him, like his thoughts weren't exactly all there. he'd stare into the distance, longing for something he thought he had lost forever, and if someone asked him about it, he'd change the topic and pretend like everything is fine. he wouldn't tell anyone about it, not even his most trusted allies, instead he hid behind a mask, lying to himself and everyone else. in his worst moments, he would lash out in anger. he would occasionally raise his voice at the troupe members if something didn't go according to his plan, and whenever he went out to hunt for blood, he'd act a lot more violent towards his victims than ever before
i realize i've gone a bit off topic again, but to bring it back on point: i think after that period i mentioned, he wouldn't let his body decay as often. he was still heartbroken, but his troupe responsibilities eventually got him back on track, at least seemingly, and that included returning to a more regular ritual cycle. i do believe it still happened occasionally, though - he had moments where his numbness would take over, but fortunately they weren't as severe as before. and that continued until he eventually reunited with fpk years later. of course, he wasn't magically fixed - instead, his numbness turned into obsessive worrying, as he's terrified that he may lose fpk again. he's certainly much happier now, that is clear, but he unfortunately hasn't properly recovered after fpk's disappearance all those years ago. safe to say, they both need therapy hahaha
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I think the only way for Callie to actually want to fix anything in s10 is if she somehow started thinking about Arizona's behavior and cheating as a result of trauma. She actually recognized Arizona needed therapy even on the show, so that is not a stretch. Obviously that wouldn't be a magic solution to fix everything, but it would be a start so that Callie would even start considering not divorcing Arizona right away.
low key i’m a quiet fan of “calzona get divorced and it’s the best thing that ever happened to them”. like s10 they need a clean slate and a fresh start but they’re very much stuck in this holding pattern where they’re together out of a strange sort of obligation/both are too afraid to do something that’s sort of permanent. but if they get a divorce and by extension way more space and they can’t pretend to be fine and doing insane things like buying houses and trying for more babies. instead they get divorced and they’re miserable, yes, naturally, calzona are terrible at not being together. but also they’re not living together, they have a custody arrangement, it’s all actually pretty healthy. and they can get some perspective on their relationship. and realize they actually like each other and they’re really the only one that can understand the other.
like kinda the vibe that’s common with nyc calzona where they’re just so much more functional even though they’re not together. and then they can work their way back together.
haven’t figured out all the bits in between but i’m sort of into the idea of it ending with arizona calling divorce lawyer. (also bc i think realistically arizonas more likely to make that leap - although not necessarily for the healthiest reasons. i think early s10 callie doesn’t want to be with arizona, naturally, but she also takes no steps towards divorce or really even an actual separation which is interesting)
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ask game #18 pleaseeee 🥺
How do they cheer up a friend when they're down?
I put them in order of the worst to the best at this.
Deckard- he's just so bad at this. He'll try to distract them with words, jokes, magic, stories, whatever. He's incredibly charming but just horrible at emotional vulnerability. Maybe he'd offer to buy them a drink?
Lark- she isn't the best at comforting others. She isn't good to vent to because she's the type of person that tries to offer solutions more than just listening. In a different set of circumstances I bet she would also be likely to suggest retail therapy.
Felix- will threaten to do violence for them. Typically they'd laugh at that, but he's more than just a little serious. This would also be one of those times where he would be more likely to initiate physical contact.
Isabell- she wouldn't really know what to do. She would probably recommend doing a little art project or a cozy activity like doing a puzzle or something. Then she would do that with them and listen to them vent. She may not be super great at comforting, but she's an excellent listener.
Marcus- for as silly and goofy as he is, he's actually a really good listener. He's also the type that thinks hugs can fix everything so there would be a lot of that. But I will say he is a bit of a himbo so it would probably take him a hot minute to realize they needed comfort.
Charlie- she's really good at breaking people out of their own heads. So she's good at distracting them, getting them to laugh. Another method she has is getting them to go on a walk with her and they'd chat. Very much a let's get up, get moving, get outside kind of strategy, still primarily distraction based but she'd also listen to what was going on. Also, she's a big believer in comfort food, so if the walk idea doesn't work that's her plan B.
Zeke- will make them food or little treats, then give them a big blanket and either leave them alone or sit with them quietly, listening to them vent. Or if they want a distraction he'd put on a movie.
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@afflicit , INT : STEVE CRAIN'S LIVING ROOM. . .
i can't. yeah, he had expected that.
"the longer you avoid it, the harder it's gonna be to go back there. and you have to go back sometime, and things... things are getting busy for me and for leigh, leigh and i, and... i don't need to list all the reasons, nell. i'm sorry." he crosses the room to retrieve a folder, trying to get things in order for later that day. maybe this was all coming out because it was a particularly hectic morning, in part because steve had gotten home late the night before and gone right to bed. maybe if it was a better day, it wouldn't have been the day he told nell she needed to move out. but one thing was certain— it was inevitable. grief was normal. healthy. steve was no denier of that. nell wasn't either of those. to prove his point, she continues to get upset. that's what nell always did; she'd stomp her foot and scream until someone in the family gave in and she got her way. usually it was their dad, sometimes theo. shirley and steve, less and less, but still. here she was. and then, by design, she says something that finally makes his head turn—
"the— what? oh, jesus, nell," he regresses into his palm when he realizes, massaging his brow, before he can come up to confront her again. "are you hearing yourself? see, now this— this is what i mean!" he gestures at her as she shrinks into the couch. "you haven't been back to your house, you haven't been living in it, you can't see that it's just a normal, empty house and it turns into this ... this crazy, unpercievable thing in your mind that you can blame for everything in order to cope! except that's not coping, nell! being here isn't coping, you're not— jesus."
in the silence he takes, it comes to him that he shouldn't be surprised. isn't this exactly what she's done with hill house? blamed all of her shortcomings on it? yeah, she had to have got that from dad.
a breath. this is even worse than he thought. she's worse. try again. "look. the bent n—" he's interrupted by a ringtone. welcoming the opportunity to step away from nell, he takes it from his back pocket. "hello? ... yeah. i know, i'm sorry, it's... traffic. really bad. i'm probably gonna be at least a half hour late. yeah. sorry about that. okay, i'll see you then."
he hangs up with a sigh. "get ready. i'm not taking you back to your house, i'm dropping you off at your therapist's on the way to my meeting."
NELLIE BLINKS , SIGHT BLURRING AS UNWANTED TEARS BURN HER EYES. she lets out a shaky breath. in, out, in, out. steve’s missing out on some important work event again. for her.
the thing is : he doesn’t get it. steve never has understood, never allowed himself to. only their dad has ever really, really admitted what happened at hill house. everyone else. . . eleanor crain would not have believed in what she’d seen, had she not seen it. but. but --- years of the bent neck lady and human figures spotted out of the corner of her eye, a flash of her mom in the mirror, years of waking up paralyzed, staring into a twisted face, of straining to hear the rotten woman's silent scream. nellie isn’t crazy. she isn’t. pills and therapy and bereavement days from work aren’t treatment. they’re distractions. flashing lights trying to keep her attention long enough to make her feel better.
her lower lip trembling with effort, nellie makes a wounded noise before she can speak again. it always comes back to this with him. ❝ steve. i don’t need therapy. i need . . . ❞ she searches around the room for something to stand out, to call to her as the magic fix. her makeshift bed is a harsh spot of white against the otherwise tans and browns of the room. steve's house is picture-esc, a magazine cover waiting to happen. it's so different from anything she'd want --- too clean. no sign of wear, or tear, of any living breathing being in his place. arthur had painted their living room the same blue as the scrubs he wore. nell swallows hard, trying to bring the present moment back to her. ❝ i can't be alone again. i i don’t know how to do this without him. ❞
#*NELL CRAIN / ic#*AFFLICIT /.../ ii#throws up#i reread ur reply from like 2 years ago a million times. we went hard
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No, going to therapy won't magically fix everything. However, a good therapist definitely wouldn't make it worse.
#realistic suggestion#neutral affirmations#(obviously this is intended to exclude abusive and malpracticed practitioners)#stay safe
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one day before
this feels like one of my lowest points ever
i have stopped giving a shit about acads: didnt submit a major assignment, missed so many classes, did badly in quizzes, and most importantly btp is just not going anywhere
i'm not going anywhere or doing anything
no exercise, no proper diet. just eat shitty processed food, and rot in your bed daydreaming about what all i could have done
i finally did book an appointment with a psychiatrist atleast. tomorrow 7:30 pm.
being an ismp mentor has benefitted me as well, hearing a mentee talking about therapy and convincing her to keep going no matter what anyone says was advice even i desperately needed. needing therapy does not mean you're weak
don't know how tomorrow will go though, last time i tried this it went horribly. basically she said i wouldn't have even passed school if there was any issue.
the tests she conducted showed that i had very low levels of dopamine and that is the cause of adhd right? but she didn't listen to anything i said and just told me to stop overthinking it too much
and she basically confirmed everything my parents already believed. so i don't think they would believe me again or want to spend any more money on this
this one (1) 30 min session has costed 2000/-
and if she prescribes any tests or for more sessions, idk how i will manage this
but of course, this is all in the future. first i'm really worried about what her response would be like. i hope she is understanding and actually listens to me. (found her on adhd india reddit)
i don't have any reports to show her, just things i read on the internet. but it can' be a coincidence that so many things match.... right?
i just want to feel normal, not that i know what that's supposed to feel like but it's definitely not this
of course, even in the best case scenario, if she completely understands my situation and symptoms and diagnoses me, i's not like everything will be magically fixed. it would still require a lot of work, difficult work to make changes. i just hope to get a direction and find sustainable ways of making the changes
another thing i'm sad about (or maybe it's because my period just started): there was this interiit tech problem statement about llm's and its very similar to what i did in my internship. i applied for it but i didn't have a resume (because i'm lazy and had no motivation to make one after ppo but i really should make it). anyway i asked the organising guy about it and he said its fine as long as i explain what all i know properly. but i wasn't selected. and that's fine there might be better people with more experience though i did have very relevant experience. but the lead for this ps is this r friend. and they way she said i wasn't selected gave me the vibe that she had a hand in it. maybe i'm just overthinking. obviously i don't expect her to take me just because we're friends but for some reason i feel like it's the opposite way
but yeah anyway, all the best to me, hope things go uphill from here
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self confidence is a skill that can be learned and you have to let yourself and your art exist distinct from how others perceive it. you will never exist or create in a way that nobody criticizes and that is NOT a bad thing. you obviously care a lot about your work or you wouldn't fret over it this much, but fixating so heavily on the potential opinions of people you made up to criticize you isn't healthy and isn't doing you any good. you're allowed to set that weight down and I truly believe you can do it.
I do try! when i catch myself spiralling i generally try to forcfully redirect my thoughts, even if it means completely ignoring whatever triggered it, but unfortunately sometimes i feel like im stuck in a loop because thinking of getting published triggers spirals of anxiety so i cant think too much about it which means i never get around to DOING it which makes me upset because i've always WANTED to get published, but when i try to seriously consider it i get all tangled up in the anxieties and ugh.
in all honesty i fell into the trap of thinking therapy would be a quicker fix than it is, where the therapist could give me a list of steps to do and my anxiety/issues would go away once i did them. so i put a bunch of unrealistic expectations on therapy but unfortunately there IS no magical list of steps to making your brain work right. you just. gotta wake up every day and push your way through the spirals and face the things you're afraid of. meds help, for sure, i don't get panic attacks anymore and the anxiety doesn't stress me out so much i end up crying or shutting down most of the time. but like. everything else, the solution is just: ignore it. keep trying. and there's no. fucking. steps to just. "do these three things and your brain will work like a neurotypical one!" and it fucking sucks and i hate it and i still gotta keep trying if i wanna get anywhere.
I haven't been on meds for a full year yet, and therapy less than that, so im sure with time I'll get to a place where i CAN push through those specific fears and get to where i want to be, and that in a lot of ways i'm still just rushing things and wishing i could be better NOW instead of having to put in months and years of work.
a lifetime of self-worth issues don't get resolved with pills and six months of therapy, but sometimes its just so GODDAMN unfair and i just want a magic cheat sheet to getting better :(
or maybe someone who can do like. literally everything for me so i don't have to face it myself lol.
can there be a business for that? like. be your own ghost writer. someone else gets all the credit and hate mail and deals with all the publishers. but you get to write your silly little stories and still make profit.
that'd be nice xD
totally ripe for abuse and probably actually a terrible idea but like. in an idealistic way. it'd be nice. y'know?
#clena's ongoing issues with “i can't handle when strangers on the internet think poorly of me”#except. you know. that's basically the job of strangers on the internet.#i still get haunted by the one and only time i tried posting on deviantart#and one day when looking at someone's fanart and reading comments someone's signature said click here to see the worst art ive ever seen#and i clicked on it out of morbid curiosity and saw my own art#and never drew another fucking thing in my life because it hurt so much i couldn't handle it#it was probably a script link or something that randomly took you to one of your own drawings#and wasn't targeted at all#but it. you know. completely destroyed a teenage-clena's ability to continue with art#and now years later i WANT to draw but still struggle to get into it and tend to quickly give up on whatever i try#awful prank for strangers on the internet to pull on people. but then. that's what they do and if you wanna be on the internet#you gotta be able to put up with it.#assholes on the internet may be the minority#but DAMN if one well-placed blow doesn't do more damage than a thousand encouraging comments can hope to repair xD#and i KNOW thats why they do it. that those sorts of trolls live for the feeling of power that comes from knowing they can affect you#and that you shouldn't give them what they want and shouldn't give in to their petty bullshit#but it's just so goddamn hard. and there's no magic fix. which still pisses me off.#can i have my magic don't-give-a-shit-about-strangers-opinions potion. please. pretty please.#pretty pretty PRETTY please#i'd sell my non-existent firstborn for it#i would probably go through the grossness of HAVING a first-born for it#like. seriously.
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Sorry for throwing this idle musing as you as I'm unsure if its in your wheel house exactly, but my mind has been somewhat consumed by an idea recently.
Namely, the idea of 'what if' there was a survivor from the Tusken massacre. Maybe an adolescence out and far from the village or the like who comes back in time to put the gist together but not be seen by Anakin.
So, pawning everything their settlement had left, they collect the funds to basically try and chase down the perpetrator and thus causes the truth to come out.
I think it was inspired by some post talking about how "Padme can't tell the Jedi what he did, then he might be kicked out of the Order" and going "So!? Actions have consequences!"
t occurs to me this wouldn't even necessarily be a 'good' AU, in the sense that this magically fixes Anakin. It may well take him to Palpatine's side sooner, but also shift up how the Jedi are viewing things so they can't be taken by surprise or who knows.
Sorry for rambling.
No worries, I really don’t mind at all. I don't really get asks so it was kinda fun. I do apologize for the late answer, however.
Although from what we see about the Tuskens, I find it difficult to imagine an individual doing something like this, mostly because the people seem really attached to the land and the planet, not exactly one to go or even have the means to leave the planet. I’m not entirely sure that a Tusken would even entertain something like that. That being said, I’m generally would be interested in any such way to reveal Anakin’s crime.
What’s really interesting, would be how this individual would actually find Anakin. I could see a connection between finding/figuring out that Jedi use lightsabers and then working from there. And since the war probably would have started by then, Anakin would probably be gaining ground, traction and attention in the media, due to Palpatine’s influence, of course. Which would both make it simultaneously harder and easier to track him down. Easier, because he has a lot of media attention. Harder, because he is always on the move.
However, if this Tusken individual thinks about things and is smart about it, he’d make connections and go straight to the Jedi. And it depended on the state of the war at the time and if they can get enough attention (with everything that is going on) to pass on their knowledge. And if Palpatine knows about it, yikes, who even know what he would do with something like that. Frankly, I personally do not think that Anakin is a good General overall, even if he is good with troopers and on-the-fly plans (I think his work a bit more with smaller groups instead of tactics and strategies with entire legions but maybe that’s just me) and even though he has a ton of limelight on him, I honestly do think the Jedi would pull him out. Massacring an entire village – that is dangerous and horrifying. Like, if he could do that to people, who knows what he would do in the battlefield.
Another interesting thought is how it would affect the propaganda Palpatine has set up. Is Anakin the wounded hero that people sympathize with and have renewed vigor to end the war? Or are the jedi keeping him away from winning the war for [insert ridiculous reason here]? It could spin either way, although I think Palpatine would use a mixture of both himself.
Maybe it would push Anakin further to Palpatine, maybe, but then again, depending on how far in the war they are in, the Jedi may have enough autonomy to keep Anakin with them. The Jedi Culture, at least aspects of it, are a lot like therapy, but as we all know, Anakin isn’t entirely embracing it and like therapy, this healing does not work if you are not into it, if you are not trying and doing the work. If the Jedi could get Padme really on their side, that may help things, even though Padme is not innocent in this either, pretty much complicit after the fact. At least, considering she knew about the massacre and told no authorities.
Back to the Tusken individual. I imagine that the Jedi would probably at least attempt to do some sort of retribution (eventually, like I said, with the war, unsure how they would be able to juggle everything. There is just SO much) in the form of whatever the Tusken culture has. I personally do not know of it off the top of my head. If there is something written about this. It all comes down to culture and values. The values of the jedi and the values of the Tuskens are probably pretty different. Not necessarily wrong, just different from each other. And since the Tuskens are the ones that Anakin has wronged (specifically this survivor), I think the Jedi would try to balance their rituals and ideas to some extent with their own.
I know people use Ahsoka’s situation as the Jedi “kicking people out” but I think that is one; generally very rare and two; her situation was extremely, extremely specific. It wasn’t a “kick you out forever on the street”, it was an “expel from our organization/rules so you can be tried for a crime that killed civilians outside of our justice system”. On a logical level, it makes sense, and I am absolutely sure there are real world situations and applications we can compare it too. (Total honesty, Ahsoka’s Wrong Jedi arc is actually kinda confusing with (and I do not bring this up often) some poor writing and planning as well showing an extremely one sided and emotional view, without anything else). I don’t think Anakin would necessarily be kicked out but I do think the Jedi would try to get him to go through a process to atone for what he had done and heal from the darkness that was lurking inside him. And after that (or during, whatever) he would have to make a choice between being a Jedi and being married to Padme because doing both just does not work for several reasons.
And we all know that Anakin does not really want to make that choice.
#I probably had more thoughts but I wrote this over the course of a while lol#anakin skywalker#the jedi#tuskens#tusken massacre#jedi order#jedi#pro jedi#in defense of the jedi#palpatine sucks#star wars#ask
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