#there IS such thing as like a Kitty Xanax i can get the vet to prescribe him beforehand right? i'm not totally making that up? lolol

[machinavocis]

btw Apartment Get did in fact occur. :D

tentative moving date has now been set at may 13th, though ultimately wholly dependent on how long it actually takes to actually pack up & clean & officially conclude all the lease things HERE first (because lol turns out the other housemate who had said he was staying suddenly changed his mind & didn't inform me of this until very recently grumble grumble.)

[r3b3lgrrrrrrrl]

A LunaTic and her Gunn (Part 100 Xs1) "Day 26: Seattle and Old Side Chicks"

@creatureofthen1ght-v3 @crystalbaby12 @backoftheroomandnotbelonging @5sosfam1dlover @rosefilledhearts-blog

Luna's eyes whip open. Her brain continuously running around things through out the few short hours it was supposed to call Sleep. That's how Luna functions when she has an idea.

Bursting with hungover energy, she jumps out of bed. Luna's never up and moving like this unless her mind is flying with creativity. This morning being a prime example as she tries to connect the musical dots that are overcrowding her head.

Not even bothering to smoke or brush her teeth, she's out the door. Down the hall. Banging on Ashley and Dom's door.

"I've got an idea." She states as she makes her way past a groggy Ashley.

It's not even 8A and Luna is buzzing. They went to bed around 4A. Ashley hating Luna's guts in this moment.

With her hands and arms full, Luna drops her treats on the floor. Her phone, notebook, multiple pens, bowl, jar of weed and two prescription bottles filled with Percocets and Xanax falling around her. Along with her Ideas.

"I wanna run a Super Jam." She states, wiggling her fingers. "I don't know how though yet...." She trails as she sits amongst her treasures.

Ashley plunks down beside her. Dutifully packing the bowl for her creatively manic friend

"Wut's 'oin ya mind?" Dom pops up from the bed asking.

"I don't knooowww....." Luna answers honestly. "I don't know if we should run an Authentic Seattle, Mainstream Grunge, Dead Seattle or Dead Grunge...." Her leg bouncing to the different songs running through her mind.

Covering Bands is really cool for some artists.... Paying homage is an entirely different entity.

Ashley fires up the bowl. Exhaling her hit, she asks Luna What's More Important.

"Fran." Luna answers without a thought as Ashley passes her the bowl with a knowing look. "Lemme call Colson." She decides as she takes a hit.

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Colson's annoyed by his phone ringing. It's early as FUCK. No one should be calling him right now. Seeing the who it is, his anger lifts.

"HEY!!" He can feel her shine through the phone.

"Hi, Kitty..." Even tired he can't help but grin at the sound of her voice.

"I got an idea!!" She explodes.

"Oooh, yeah? What?" Colson asks.

He loves her ideas and little games. Luna never failing to amuse, intrigue and push him beyond his artistic scope. Or sexual limits.

"I wanna Super Jam.... I'm thinking four or five GREAT songs..." She goes on to explain.

"FUCK yeah!" Colson finds himself grinning harder with a nod.

"Cool... I'm getting out of here as quick as possible. Talk to The Boys. By time I get back we need a solid idea to mix and rehearse.

"I got you, Kitten." He reassures her, pumped by her idea.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Off the phone, Colson is hard from the sound of Luna's voice. Sliding his hand around his thick cock, he smiles.

"My Bitch is like no other...." He thinks as he aches for her.

Remembering her birthday gift to him, Colson grabs his laptop. Finding the file and setting himself up, he's prepared for his viewing.

Seeing Luna tease and fuck him, Colson strokes his cock like he's trying to strangle someone. He grows harder as he watches himself devour Luna's insides. Remembering her sweet taste of peaches, he pulls on himself faster.

Stroking his dick at a firm pace, his grip tightens. Watching their video, he imagines every inch of Luna as she slides herself around him on the laptop's screen.

Cooing as she helps him pump his huge cock into her. The sound of their satisfied moans pushing on his brain.

Floating back to That Night. The way he felt so nervous until Luna had popped in wearing The Cheetah Print Coat. The sight of her taunting his dick while easing his soul. It was the first time he had ever fucked her. Instantly admitting that he was truly in love with HER. Not just the memory of The Girl In The Cheetah Print Coat.

Their connection and sex being an inescapable delight. No one ever fucking his body or mind like THAT Brooklyn Bitch.

Yanking on his cock now, Colson's body stiffens as he splooges all over himself. Breathing hard, he lays there. Details from the strip club still weaving through his mind.

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"Yo. Book us. I gotta get the fuck up outta here ASAP...." Luna says to Ashley's nod.

Catching a call from Monica, she's freaking out. It seems to be a steady state of mind for her recently. Luna hates it.

"I'm done." Monica states firmly. "I'm your FUCKING LAWYER. NOT YOUR MANAGER."

"Wait.... What the fuck are you talking about?" Luna questions her.

"I'm talking about that I'm your Lawyer but.... You need a Manager because I CAN'T manage your schedule." She starts in. "You don't know what this last month has been like for me. Besides all the legal and wedding shit, no one has your number so they all hit ME. My phone stays blowing up over you." Monica states with frustration.

"Wait... What??" Luna's beyond lost.

"YOU.NEED.A.MANAGER." Monica says slowly like Luna's dumb.

On this she is. Dumb and confused.

"What???" Luna asks again.

This makes Monica beyond frustrated.

"Dude... I can't book you... It's not my job. You NEED to get a FUCKING Man.A.Ger. I've been getting calls for IT since yesterday. Stern wants to book you... Good Morning America has BEEN asking for either Nightmare or Bad Things.... FUCK! THAT'S NOT MY FUCKING JOB!!" Monica yells.

"Wait.... Why IT?" Luna asks.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?" Monica finally explodes. "You played it on fucking DayTime TV yesterday!!"

"OH SHIT!!! THEY RAN IT!!" Luna shouts in disbelief.

Amazed, Luna can't help but grin. Knowing she's as pretty as a sunset but always thinking her words were too ugly for DayTime. She's beyond pleased. IT is EXACTLY the kind of song people SHOULD be listening to at all times. Day or night, the message of the song never changes.

"You need a FUCKING manager. I'm not THAT. You paid for law school for A FUCKING REASON. To protect you, not to fucking schedule you." Monica expresses with an attitude.

"I know...." Luna begins to apologize before slipping into hungover reality. "You got ANY suggestions?" Luna can't help but ask with a snark, feeling slightly abandoned.

"No. Do this yourself." Monica says, still pissed.

"What about vetting?" Luna questions her.

"Fine. Bring me three. We'll figure it out who from there." She slightly relents.

"Thank you, Mon. Seriously. I know this last month has been a lot. I'm sorry. I'll find someone. I just.... You know I value your opinion... So, thank you." Luna sighs.

Meeting their freshman year in high school, Monica knows Luna is genuine. Whether she pays her or not, they're true friends. Monica being one of the few Luna will back down from and compromise with.  As Monica lets up on her a bit, they end their phone call on a positive note.

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"So, what? Snippets of different songs mashed together?" Baze asks Colson as he explains Luna's idea.

Sitting around the front of The Bus, they're getting toasted with their morning coffee. Colson had woke them up after he'd showered, knowing they needed to get to work.

"Yeah... Just like that. Probably running like 6 or 7mins...." Colson answers to his nod of understanding.

"When will she be back?" Slim asks of Luna.

"They're on their way now. Should be here before 4P." Colson informs him.

"Wait. She wants to do this tonight?" Slim asks, without waiting for an answer he goes on. "That gives us 3hrs to piece together basically a whole new song.... Of shit we ain't probably NEVER play before so we gonna have to learn it AND then fucking rehearse it to play to a sold out club. Tonight."

Slim ends his rant by tilting his head as he gives Colson a look of What The Fuck.

"Dawg... Obviously she likes a challenge." Colson throws his arms out to showcase himself.

Slim laughs with the rest of The Bus as he rolls his eyes. Asking if They Know Any Of These Fucking Songs.

"Yeah we do..." AJ says confidently pulling out his phone. "Let's make a list of songs we know and how they fit into the different categories of ideas Luna has."

Sam hands him the paper and pen he asks her for. Getting up to grab more coffee, she stops and turns to the group.

"You know, we'll have nine musicians with us tonight. Besides the drums, I play bass and rhythm guitar... So, between all of us, if we pick the right songs the odds are that one of us will know how to play it." She says.

"You offerin' to get OnStage with us tonight?" Colson teases her.

Sam shrugs out an I'm Just Sayen' before Colson agrees It's A Good Idea and Theory. The group of them sitting together, trying to work out the flow of different songs.

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Flying high over The United States, Ashley, Luna and Dom kick around their own ideas.

"So what do you truly want?" Ashley asks Luna.

"Honestly.... If it was MY show, we'd run a totally obscure mix. Focusing on the Lost Seattle Originals. I'd really LOVE to play a tribute to Mia Zapata, Stephanie Sargent and Layne.... Especially Layne. Considering how forgotten he was."

"So fucked up...." Luna sadly thinks of how the rock legend had laid dead in his apartment for over a week before anyone realized he was missing. The thought still breaks her heart the same way it did when she'd first heard the story.

"I don't think many of his fans are gonna know Seven Year Bitch or The Grits though.... But I don't know because they are hometown bands." Luna's leg is still bouncing as she sighs.

"Do you think you may be overextending yourself on this one?" Ashley says gently.

Not one to admit defeat, Luna's brain is still dancing around itself. Determined to figure this out.

"Wut aboot a King and Queen of grunge homage?" Dom asks. "Smashing togeter a Nirvana and Hole song?"

He thinks it's a great idea. Ashley knows it's not.

Luna's eyes go dark. It's a horrible idea in her opinion. Twisted though, it could be one of her greatest Fuck Yous yet. Luna's mind starts shifting gears.

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"WHAT UP, BIIIITCHES!!!" Luna shouts as she climbs onto The Bus.

Ashley and Dom are behind her. They're met by excited Yos and What's Goods. Ashleigh greeting Luna with a tight hug.

Colson comes charging out from their room. Scooping Luna up, he attacks her with kisses as she wraps her legs around his waist tightly with giggling acceptance. Their kisses are matched with EWWWs and GO TO YOUR FUCKING ROOM. Luna continues to laugh as they kiss each other Hello and exchange I Missed Yous. Colson muttering a Shut The Fuck Up Sam while keeping his mouth on Luna's. Pressing hard on his lips, she plants a solid smooch on Colson before sliding off of him. Hard dick poking her on the way down.

"Sooooo.... I think I might have been a little overambitious with this whole Super Jam thing...." Luna admits.

"Thank the Lawd!!! She crazy but she ain't FUCKIN' stupid!!" Slim yells in relief as he throws his arms up.

"Thanks, Jerk Off." Luna laughs at him.

Slim tosses her an elbow and a Sorry as he laughs with her. She meets his peace treaty along with a smile.

"But I have a list!!" AJ pops in slightly agitated.

"Really?" Luna asks as her smile widens. "Me too!!" She laughs as she pulls a folded piece of paper from her back pocket. "What 'cha got?" She asks as she plops down beside him on one of the couches.

Sitting together, they go over their notes. Some things match up but a lot don't.

"No Seattle Tribute?" AJ asks with disappointment.

"Oooh.... We're still doing something." Luna reassures him. "Do you guys know who Tobi Vale is or who Andrew Wood was?" Luna asks including everyone in their conversation now.

Sam and Ashley do. That's it.

"Okay guys.... Roll up. It's story time." She says.

Staying in place, Luna digs Colson's Sponge Bob case out from in between the couch cushions behind her. His deep voice shouting THAT'S WHERE THE FUCK THAT WENT.

"I shoved it up there last week because of Case.... How awesome would that've been if she'd opened it?" Luna shrugs as she shakes her head at herself. "Total fucking win....." Sighing as she rolls her eyes and continues on. "Anyway... So, THIS is what I'm thinking.... Hold on, gimme a sec."

Firing up a joint, Luna hands it to AJ before lighting another and sending it across to Sam on the other couch. Left and Right. Sparking another for herself to camp on for a moment, she explains exactly What She Wants To Do and Why.

Everyone agreeing that It's A MUCH More Plausible Idea. Fully burnt they head off of The Bus towards the nightclub to rehearse. If it plays out as expected it'll be a fun and sweet tribute. Carrying a harsh kick to the cunt. Only those who are aware of Luna's feelings knowing EXACTLY what she's saying.

Colson drops his arm around Sam's shoulder and plops a kiss on top of her head as they head across the parking lot. She looks up at him like What The Fuck Are You Doin'.

"Thanks for taking care of those sheets yesterday." He says looking down at her with a smile.

"OH. You're welcome." She answers as his arm slips off of her.

Heading to catch up with Luna, Colson turns to shoot Sam another grateful smile. It's a nice scene, considering Sam really didn't care for Colson or think he was good enough for Luna when she first met him. Her opinion slowly changing.

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Word Limit (1 of 3)

To be continued.....

❇Writer's Note: Feel free to share the WHOLE chapter with whomever 😘

[lizbethcopes]

Missed a post, but here I am

Good morning/evening/afternoon my wonderful people!

Yesterday was pretty uneventful. I cleaned the office (mostly, I have more to do today) and began the rescue operation for a stray cat in the neighborhood who needs his tail amputated. We’re hoping to catch him in a trap tonight so we can take him to the vet on Wednesday. I’ve been very stressed about our poor little kitty but I’m hoping all turns out well and he lives through the experience. He’s a good boy, we named him Tigger.

Overall my mental health has been on the decline recently, my OCD hasn’t been as bad but my general well-being and depression seems to have gone down the shitter. Yesterday, my partner and I got into a bit of an emotional conversation and it was rough for me. Him too, but I just felt really isolated. I can feel myself getting aimless while I’m not working (waiting for my Covid test to come back negative so I can go into work again). I love my job, I don’t do much but it’s honest work and I like my coworkers. I think I over-reacted about needing a test but I have a lot of health issues and I was deadly worried about getting sick. Plus I live with my mom and my partner and I didn’t want to get them sick either, ya know?

Anyways, today I’m feeling pretty shitty. I just want to lie in bed and rest and cry but I’m gonna power through and get some more cleaning done. I think it will help me feel better. I know sometimes the accomplishment of getting something done can help me get out of this depressive funk.

I’m back to deliberating about whether or not I have OCD. It wasn’t too bad again yesterday. I think now whenever something pops up, I will repeat “This is not a reflection of who I am, this will pass, just breathe” and it is seeming to help quite a bit. The number of moments when my OCD is overwhelming has dropped to mostly when I fall asleep/am trying to fall asleep.

I had something else I was gonna write right here but now I’ve forgotten what that was. This is frustrating but maybe I’ll remember and come back and edit this post later with that update.

OH YEAH! I took one of my xanax yesterday to relax and it had no effect. I doubled my usual dosage and nada. I’m hoping this is just because my meds are old. I have a new prescription at the store that I will be going to pick up later today. I watched most of Euphoria yesterday with my friends, it was nice. Not the show, the show is terrible and sad and triggering, but spending time with my friends was nice. I don’t think I realized how badly I needed that. Maybe I should host another game night soon. We all miss those.

TW: Weight Talk

I lost more weight, the healthy way this time. I’m down to 154 from 170. 170 isn’t a lot, but I’m only 5′ 6″ and that was a lot of weight for me to gain. I only gained it because back in November 2020 I had to go to inpatient treatment and I couldn’t sleep *one* night so they gave me a full ass prescription for olanzapine. Fuck that med, fuck that med *hard*. It made me insatiably hungry at all hours of the day and I ballooned from 138 to 170. I got off the med and my sleep schedule was all fucked up for a while after that due to the effects of pulling off a literal sleep med. It was hectic, but TL;DR I am losing the weight steadily. It’s making me much more comfortable with the way I look. I don’t think I’ll ever get down to the weight I was pre-depression (about 145) because during my depression I dropped to 132. The whole thing is messy, but if I can get to 150, I’ll be happy there. I think that’s a normal weight for my age and height.

End of TW:

I’m feeling like sleeping and kinda giving up on being productive today but I’m not gonna let my depression talk for me. I’m off to start my day and attempt to begin cleaning and cooking and all that jazz. Until next time,

See ya

[berlinner]

kitty projection (for Sofi who’s no longer of this earth)

my cat is neurotic. she will not to be picked up unless just before the pellets hit the bowl and then just behind her shoulders, legs stiff as drum sticks, a measly 3, 4 feet off the linoleum and not in arms, not hugged against chest. visitors oo and ah and reach out to pet her, but she flits away, fussy and paranoid. with visitors she hides in my closet on a shelf waiting impatiently for them to leave. if a dog barks she hibernates until it’s gone. on the other hand, with me, she’s awesome. she sleeps under the covers, in the crook of my arm, on her back, purring. she loves to have her belly rubbed when it’s cold out. her purr is so loud you can hear it a room away. her prized trick is to slip in and out of my bedroom through a pantry portal between the kitchen and my room, a miniature Swiss window she discovered when we moved in 10 years ago. she’s getting on, 10–12 years old. i worry that once she hit’s 17 she’ll be shitting herself and unable to jump, to access the glory hole. when she arrived at my apartment for the first time she hid behind a couch for two weeks until she got up the tits to emerge and stake out the territory. for years that territory has been this apartment, unshared with any other beast. a revolving door of room mates and friends until last week when a new kitty, an irresistibly cute, fluffy, Yoda-whiskered guy moved in, skin, bones and fur. his name is Mao after the Chinese dictator. my room mate thought he looked dictatorial with his tough guy stance and big paws. we went down the list: Hitler, Stalin, Idi, Pol Pot and chose Mao, because, ok, that’s the sound he makes: ‘Mao’. we love the little fella. how could we not? he’s irresistible. but Sofi is petrified. Mao scampers about the house on curiosity skates and Sofi hides on her shelf like a rejected glove. i don’t know what’s going on in her kitty brain, but i imagine all sorts of terrible thoughts. that i’m cheating on her, that i don’t love her anymore, even as i pat her more than ever. i’ve made my bedroom her sanctuary so she can eat in peace. once Mao’s big enough to leap through the hole, that’ll be the end of the quarantine. at first i blamed her. i thought, fuck, get over yourself, Sof, you weirdo. any other cat would have handled the kid no problem. but i call the vet and she tells me that this is normal. that it might take one to six months to a year for Sofi to adjust, if not longer. a friend of mine went through the same thing with her guy and that cat is still, two years down kitty lane, freaked. i did take one indulgent step. the vet suggested a product from France, a plug-in atomizer good for a month. it wafts oily feline fumes into the atmosphere that have a calming effect on an upset kitty. sometimes it works, sometimes not. but i bought the Eau de Chat and it seemed to do the job. Sofi acquired a sort of Xanax equilibrium. occasionally she peeks around the kitchen corner and stares down the hall at Mao who’s staring back from the far end. maybe when no one’s home they hang out and have a laugh over how worked up we humans get over all this. i love her. i need her to be ok. i tell her that. she purrs. i imagine she listens and is working on it with some invisible, screwball shrink. coda: things seem to be better of late. both creatures lie on the same bed blinking at each other, paws crossed.

This is an excerpt from my book, The Paragraphs — Cutlass Press

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