#there have been a couple of double blind studies that seem to indicate a lack of olfactory sense could be a bio marker for adhd | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kmomof4 · 5 years

Text

Time and Again ch6

Are y’all ready? I sure am! Hope y'all enjoy the new chapter!!

Ao3 link

All the love and hugs to @hollyethecurious and @winterbaby89 for all their love, encouragement and kick ass beta skills! Especially on this chapter! I love y'all more than I’ll ever be able to say!!!

Also many thanks and hugs to the CSSNS discord ladies for all their encouragement as well!!!

Tagging my peeps: @hollyethecurious @winterbaby89 @snowbellewells @stahlop @resident-of-storybrooke @jennjenn615 @kingofmyheart14 @profdanglaisstuff @branlovestowrite @thisonesatellite @ultraluckycatnd @flslp87 @whimsicallyenchantedrose @let-it-raines @shireness-says @kymbersmith-90 @darkcolinodonorgasm @bethacaciakay @searchingwardrobes @ilovemesomekillianjones @teamhook @aprilqueen84 @qualitycoffeethings @superchocovian @artistic-writer @donteattheappleshook @doodlelolly0910 @seriouslyhooked @tiganasummertree

Please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed.

Under the cut, unless Tumblr ate it.

A/N The getaway house is a real house that’s for sale atm on South Padre Island, Texas. If you’re interested in seeing what it really looks like, you can find it here.

Emma stepped down out of the small Learjet that Killian had piloted and looked around at what could only be called an oasis. The sun shining down on the metal of the plane momentarily blinded her, but the landscape around her was already seared into her brain. The sand that surrounded what couldn’t even be called a proper landing strip - it was only a flat strip of compacted sand surrounded by dunes and sea grass.- was a dazzling white. Killian had landed them squarely in the middle of paradise with nothing but sand, seagulls, and marine life for company. She was very glad she’d had the presence of mind to pack her bikini.

“This is beautiful,” she said, struggling to keep the awe out of her voice.

He came back around from collecting their suitcases with an amused expression on his face. “What were you expecting?” he asked, gently.

Even behind his aviator sunglasses, she could imagine the twinkle in his eye as he questioned her. “I don’t know what I was expecting,” she sighed. “I’ve never been to the Gulf. But, I can tell you, it sure wasn’t this. Where are we?” After the interrupted sleep from the night before and lack of sleep in general over the last couple of weeks, it wasn’t long after they took off in Dallas, that she succumbed to slumber. When she woke, all she could see was white and crystal blue. Very much like a pair of eyes that she loved.

“We are on a small private island off of South Padre Island. It belongs to Granny, but she used to bring us here during the summer when we were growing up. She comes down here less often now, so she lets us use it.” Looking at his face, she thought she caught a glimpse of something like peace as he surveyed the landscape. She scrambled to catch up to him as he led the way towards the dunes and away from the plane.

“Where are we staying?” she asked. The “landing strip” was surrounded by dunes and she was having trouble picturing what kind of accommodations there might be. Her calves were screaming at her after climbing the dune Killian seemed to have no trouble with. Finally catching up with him on the other side, she was surprised to find him standing next to a jeep, under a covered aluminum shelter, holding the door open for her.

“Thank you,” she murmured, climbing inside. She shot him a look from under her lashes, with a coy smile. “So now you’re going to be a gentleman?”

“I’m always a gentleman, Swan.” He smirked at her with a cocked eyebrow before closing the door and heading around to the other side. “The house is just on the other side of those dunes,” he said as he climbed in.

Cresting the dune, the house they’d be staying in came into view. She was stunned to silence at the peaceful tranquility that enveloped her as Killian pulled up in front of the double car garage of a magnificent home which was surrounded by palm trees that soared over the second level of the home. “Wow,” she breathed. She looked over at her companion who seemed to preen at her admiration.

“When Hurricane Dolly hit in 2008,” he explained, “there was enough damage to the house we visited as kids to justify tearing it down in order to design and build this one. We spared no expense to make it a home that would withstand Cat5 level hurricane winds. Although the island has never been hit by one that strong.”

“We?” she asked, confusion coloring her voice. “Who’s we?”

“Oh,” he exclaimed. “That’s right. You wouldn’t know.” His eyebrows danced and an air of mischievousness danced in his eyes. “I wanted to be an architect. Always loved drawing when I was a kid, and when I reached high school and was really good at math, I thought about engineering as a major with plans to become an architect. However, when Liam graduated with his Business Marketing degree and pitched the idea of an advertising agency to me and Granny, I was sold. Granny put up the capital to get the agency off the ground, and I went to school and got my degree in graphic design and advertising. My best friend Robin did go on to study engineering and became an architect. So I designed the house, and we contracted with him to actually build it.”

Her smile nearly split her face in two. “That’s such a great story!” she marveled, climbing down from the Jeep. “And it’s wonderful that you had such a hand in it!”

“Someday I’d like to do the same at home,” he mused, as he followed her up the walkway to the front door.

“What,” she asked, looking back at him. “Design your own house?”

“Yeah,” he admitted. “What I have is fine for now.” The intensity in his blue eyes seemed to pin her in place as he stood before her before opening the door. “But someday, when I have a family, we’ll want more space.” She could no longer meet his eyes. Not with the hope and yearning so plainly written there. She looked down, blushing, acutely conscious of exactly what he meant.

He opened the door for them and stepped into the foyer where they were met with three staircases. The one on the right led down, the one in front of them went up to what looked like the main living space, and the one to the left appeared to lead to the bedrooms.

“The master suite is off the main living area and kitchen. You can have that.” He nodded in the direction of the stairs in the middle. Then, indicating the staircase to the left, he continued, “That’s the guest wing. You can see the first bedroom suite there, and the stairs lead to the other.” He picked his own suitcase back up. “I’ll let you get settled, then take you on a tour?” His hopeful expression was enough to make her cheeks heat up again.

“Sure, that’s fine,” she replied. “But I’m not staying in the master suite. This is your house.” She picked up her own suitcase and passed in front of him to the first suite. Before entering, she turned back to him. “Does it matter which one I take? Do you have one that you normally stay in?”

“How did I know you were going to say that?” he asked, amusedly. “I usually stay in the one at the top. It has the best view. Besides the master, I mean. Plus the master has access to the back deck overlooking the pool. When I called Granny to let her know we were coming down, she wanted you to stay in the master.”

“You told Granny?!” she screeched, eyes wide.

“Relax, Swan,” he soothed. “She’s not gonna tell anyone else, first of all. And second of all, it is her house. I needed to let her know I was coming down so she could get groceries delivered and the maid service out here.”

At that revelation, she deflated somewhat. “Oh, okay.” She turned questioning and unsure eyes back up toward him. “You’re sure she won’t tell anyone? If this got out among the girls, I’d never hear the end of it.” She rolled her eyes, hoping that she was keeping the fear out of them and her voice. “The grapevine in the office is very healthy and well tended.” She stepped into the bedroom and gasped.

The expansive suite was tastefully decorated and well lit. There were two large windows in the opposite corner bathing the sitting area in the late morning light. She walked in and set her suitcase on the floor. She turned around to see that Killian had already left her to get unpacked and settled. The bathroom behind her had a separate sink and changing area, with the toilet and shower in the adjoining room. Coming back into the bedroom, she decided that she’d better unpack before she tried out the very comfortable looking king-size bed that took up the center of the room. If I lay down on that, I might not get up.

After unpacking and hanging up her clothes, she walked over to the windows and looked out at the gentle surf on the other side of the pool below. Giving a sigh of contentment, she walked over to the bed and sat down. She was right. The bed was insanely comfortable. She laid back and pushed her way up to the pillows that decorated it. Minutes later, she was not aware as Killian came down the stairs and stopped at her door. He smiled gently at her sound asleep on the bed before he walked away.

~*~*~

Killian looked up from his place on one of the sofas in the den when Emma walked in still rubbing the sleep out of her eyes three hours later. “Sleep well?” he chuckled. A wide smile broke out over his face as he gazed at her adorably sleep rumpled state.

“Yeah.” A grin broke out on her face, too. “I really needed that. I haven’t slept well the last couple of weeks, you know? And the flight wasn’t long enough.” The twinkle in her eye absolutely delighted him as he rose to meet her, taking her hand in his. Her hand was still warm from sleep as he squeezed it lightly.

“Are you hungry?” he asked, leading her into the kitchen. “The groceries arrived while you were asleep. We have fixings for almost anything you want. I can show you around after we eat.”

“Yeah, starving actually,” she replied. “Could I have a grilled cheese?” She looked at him a little sheepishly as she shrugged. “It’s my favorite.”

“Of course, Swan,” he agreed, easily. “We have Kraft singles, deli American, and Colby Jack sliced cheese. Which one would you like?” He opened the refrigerator and bent over as he peered inside. Looking back at her, he smirked when he spied her blushing and looking everywhere around the gourmet kitchen except at him.

“Oh, um, Kraft singles is fine,” she stuttered, finally looking back at him. “There isn’t, by any chance, a fryer is there?” She looked around again and started looking in cabinets.

“Uh, yeah,” he replied, pointing. “Next cabinet. What do you want it for?”

“Onion rings,” she declared. “Can’t have grilled cheese without onion rings. Cutting board?”

“Over there.” He indicated to the cabinets under the breakfast bar that separated the dining and bar area from the kitchen then busied himself at the stove. While the butter melted he assembled their sandwiches all the while listening to her search the cabinets for batter ingredients after getting an onion out of the pantry. They worked side by side preparing their late lunch, Emma humming a little tune under her breath. The joy he felt working with her by his side, weaving in and out from each other as they put their lunch together, could not be overstated.

They finally sat down to grilled cheese sandwiches, onion rings, and sliced tomatoes. She rolled her eyes at him when he insisted on the “real” vegetable to accompany their repast.

Settling down to their meal, an awkward silence descended. He had a feeling Emma would be less than comfortable sharing anything of importance with him at this juncture, so he decided to suggest a game. “How would you feel about playing twenty questions?” His eyebrows rose in honest inquiry as he took his first bite. Emma scoffed.

“Twenty questions? Seriously?” she challenged him with a raised eyebrow, biting into an onion ring. Her eyes rolled in the back of her head as she moaned, “Damn, I make good onion rings.”

Killian swallowed back his own moan as he adjusted himself and tried desperately to control his response to her unintentonally erotic display. “Yes, Swan,” he answered, “The point of this getaway is to get to know each other. For you to see me as just a man and not as your boss. I thought playing twenty questions would help break the ice.”

“Okay, then,” she agreed “I’ll start.” She paused for a moment, taking a bite of her sandwich while considering her first question. “When is your birthday?”

“January 26th. Yours?” He took another bite of his sandwich.

“April 12th.” Her brow furrowed as she thought of another question. “Tell me about this place. I know you said that you designed it and your friend built it, but how did Granny come by it?”

“Granny was married to Texas oil billionaire Harold Lucas. They never had any children, so when he passed, everything went to her. I don’t remember him at all. He died about a year after we came over from England when I was a baby. My parents came to America when the last of their family died. They had two little boys to raise, and they were looking for a fresh opportunity. They found it in Texas. My father worked at a company that Granny was on the board of, and she just really took a shine to him. We’d only been living here for a couple of months when she invited him and the family to celebrate Thanksgiving with her and Harold. From there, she became the Grandmother we never had.”

He paused for another bite. The memories that he was about to share with her washed over him. “She bought this island when I was five. 1989. It had a house on it, and she invited the whole family down for a week to help celebrate my starting kindergarten. The last summer fling, so to speak. Liam and I had never been to the beach so we were beside ourselves with excitement.” He looked down with a soft smile on his face. “We had a grand time that week. Liam and I had our own rooms, we spent our days playing in the surf, hunting for seashells, and feeding the gulls. Doing all the things little boys do on a private beach.” He swallowed heavily, and cast worried eyes towards his companion. He didn’t want to upset her with what he was about to reveal.

“On the way home,” he began again, “Liam and I wanted to ride with Granny. It’s more fun than with your parents, yeah?” She nodded, with a small smile on her face. “North of San Antonio, before we got to Austin, we got caught in a massive traffic tie up. Traffic was at a standstill for over an hour. Of course, to us, it was forever.” He looked over at her again. Her brow was furrowed, and he could see she was starting to put two and two together.

“It was your parents, wasn’t it?” she asked. “That’s how they were killed, and how you were raised by Granny.” Her voice was a whisper.

He shrugged. “Guess you got more in that answer than you bargained for, eh Swan?” He looked back at her with a gentle smile. “It was a long time ago. It’s been many years since I’ve come to terms with it. Don’t feel bad about bringing it up.” He covered her hand with his and gave it a gentle squeeze. “When we finally got home, Granny called them to arrange for them to come pick us up. When she didn’t get ahold of them, she got us ready for bed and tucked us in. None of us the wiser. It wasn’t the first time we had spent the night with her. When she still couldn’t get in touch with them the next morning, she called the police. She was almost immediately granted temporary custody of us given that we had no other family. It became final six months later.”

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. “I’m so sorry,” she apologized. “I’m sorry for your loss, and I’m sorry for bringing it up.”

He shook his head. “I told you not to feel bad about bringing it up, Swan. Other than that very specific case, the memories I have of coming to this island every summer, are some of the best memories of my childhood. So please, don’t beat yourself up.” He lowered his head until he could catch her eyes. He smiled gently at her again. “I’m glad I could share some of my beginnings with you.”

Emma inhaled on a shaky breath. “I was found abandoned on the steps of a fire station in Dallas. I was only a couple of days old. I bounced around between foster homes, never staying in one more than six months, until I was fourteen and assigned to Ingrid. That’s where Kelly was. For the first time in my life I was loved. I’d only been there a few months when all the other kids were assigned to other homes and Ingrid adopted me. She let me keep “Swan” as my last name because of my birthmark. The one on my hip. Maybe it was originally given to me by a social worker, but it made me think of the fairy tale The Ugly Duckling. That I was like the ugly duckling no one wanted, but maybe someday I would become a swan. Ingrid said that because it was important to me, it was important to her.She made it legal and everything, even with the formal adoption.” She looked up at him then, more tears shining in her eyes. “I know you didn’t ask, but after your story, I felt like I owed you mine.”

“Oh no, Swan,” he argued, squeezing her hand. “You didn’t owe me anything. That being said, I am glad to hear about your beginnings.” He hoped the soft smile he gave her put her at ease, as she swiped at the tears that had escaped her eyes.

She barked out a watery laugh. “What a day for tragic backstories, huh?” she asked, a smile breaking through.

“Indeed,” he agreed. “I think that’s quite enough for today. Don’t you?” He rose, taking their plates with him and made his way into the kitchen to deposit them in the sink. “How would you like a tour of the rest of the house?” he asked.

~*~*~

He led them through a doorway where the wall above and beside it was decorated with crosses. All sizes and colors, some plain, some very ornate. They made for a very pleasing aesthetic as she followed him into the short hallway beyond.

“This is the butlers pantry with powder room here,” he pointed to his right, “and laundry room here.” He pointed to his left. They came out at an open landing where she noticed metal work in the shape of palm fronds below the banister railing.

“We wanted to keep with the tropical motif, so we had that made,” Killian said as she admired the piece. “Nice touch, don’t you think?” He smiled at her before climbing the stairs to the loft.

Smiling back, she answered, “Yes, it’s a very nice touch.”

His relaxed demeanor and easy smile since they’d arrived that morning was proving to be quite effective in relaxing her as well. She could feel herself opening up to him. Unwinding in his presence. Telling him her story had revealed more about herself than she had ever revealed to anyone. Ever. Even her close friends at the office didn’t know that portion of her past. It was enough to make her want to hand in her resignation so she’d never have to face him again. She was kind of stuck here with him with no way off the island though, and besides, she had made a promise. When she’d agreed to come, she’d made him a promise that she was willing to see where this thing between them might go. She couldn’t help the fear that gripped her soul with the knowledge that he now had the power to break her. Whether she had given her permission or not, her heart now lay completely in his hands. And it was terrifying.

~*~*~

He turned back to look at her as he arrived at the top of the stairs to the loft. He could sense her pulling away from him, just in these last moments. The furrow on her brow confirmed his suspicions. Open book, he thought.

While the sharing of his story with her was a little nerve wracking and brought no small amount of heartache with it, the sharing of her story made him rejoice inside. She was finally opening up to him. She trusted him with that story. A story that was an integral part of who she was. He vowed to never make her regret sharing that part of herself with him, but as he took in her troubled visage, he concluded she was already regretting that decision.

He put his tour guide hat back on in the hopes of bringing her smile back out again. “This is the loft and office area.”

She looked around and the frown lines in her forehead disappeared. “I can’t tell you how much I love all the hardwood floors and cabinetry,” she enthused, “It’s so beautiful!” She made her way to the exercise bike with a smirk on her face. “Do you actually use this? Or is it just for show?”

He returned her smirk with one of his own. “Why, Swan,” he cooed flirtatiously, “are you wondering how I keep this lean, trim physique?” It was enough to make her blush and for her eyes to skitter away. He couldn’t help the surge of male pride that flooded him at her reaction. “I’m usually an early riser and if the temperature is comfortable outside, I’ll run on the beach. If it isn’t, I ride the bike. Notice the second one over here and the screens on them.” A delighted grin lit up his face. “When Liam and I are down here together, we’ll race. We can program in a specific route anywhere in the world. The bike will automatically adjust the tension and all that, so it’s as if we are really there, mountain biking in The Garden of the Gods in Colorado, racing along the banks of the Nile in Egypt, or screaming down the Auvergne in France.”

The grin that broke out, lit up her entire face. “Competitive, are we?” she asked, with a raised eyebrow.

He laughed. “Oh, you have no idea,” he assured her. “To this day, he calls me ‘little brother.’ Drives me up the wall.” His put upon sigh with his head thrown back was enough to have her trying to smother her giggles. Without much success. He looked back at her with puppy dog eyes. “Not you, too,” he pouted.

“Having a brother is a wonderful thing,” she chided him, her eyes and smile soft. “You should be thankful for him everyday. Even if he does call you ‘little brother.’” She let out another small giggle at that, causing his pout to melt into a soft smile.

“Oh, I do Swan. I do,” he assured her. “I just have to get back at him for it somehow. So I regularly hand his ass to him on the bike. I was always the more athletic one of the two of us.”

She wandered over to the bookshelves that covered the interior wall of the loft. Running her fingers along the spines, she found bestselling fiction next to The Art of War and a World Atlas. “Quite an eclectic reader, aren’t you?”

“Aye,” he replied. “I read voraciously growing up. Liam did, too. Granny made sure when video games were coming into their own in the ‘90’s and early 2000’s, that we spent more time reading than in front of a screen.” He chuckled warmly as his cheeks flushed with affection for his surrogate mother, grandmother, whatever.

“Let’s just test that, shall we?” she asked. “When did you read Lord of the Rings?” She crossed her arms over her chest, with a raised eyebrow.

“Ehhh…” he trailed away, with a thoughtful expression, trying to put a finger on it. “Early middle school. I’m pretty sure. Somewhere in the neighborhood of eleven or twelve.”

She stared at him, dumbfounded. “Are you kidding me?” she asked, incredulously. “I didn’t read them until I was in college. After seeing the films in the theater. And the first time I read them, I almost didn’t finish. It was just soooo detailed. It felt like I had to plow through them. I couldn’t imagine reading them when I was still a child.”

“Well, now you know a little more about me, Swan.” That had her blushing again, and looking away from him.

He went back down the stairs to the small landing that led to the cozy balcony above the front door. “This is a nice place to come outside to think when I’m working and don’t want to head all the way back downstairs to the deck.”

“Mmmmm,” Emma mused. “It does have a lovely view.”

“Not as lovely as some,” Killian murmured, under his breath. “Shall we go back inside?” he asked, opening the door for her again.

“Thank you,” she said, preceding him into the home. He followed her down the stairs trying very hard to not stare at her shapely rear as she descended in front of him.

Coming back into the living room, he crossed in front of her to the bank of windows that covered the back wall of the house. The center window was actually a door that led to the back deck. Leading the way, he opened the door for her and held it open as she came out. He couldn’t hide his satisfied smile at the look on her face. Her gasp of surprise told him that saving this spot for later in the afternoon was the right way to go. The deck covered the entire northwest side of the house and the sun was beginning its descent to the left, casting its light over the pool below, the lush greenery surrounding it, and the deck itself.

“It’s breathtaking,” she breathed.

“Yes, it is,” he agreed, looking down at her. She was too enraptured with the view to notice his unabashed appreciation. “Those doors lead to the master suite and these stairs over here will take us down to the lanai and pool.”

She all but skipped over to the stairs leading away from the deck and master suite. Her glee, evidenced by her joyful gait and the light in her eyes, filled his heart near to bursting. He had to hold back his chuckle at her squeal of delight as he descended the stairs behind her. She stood on the stone patio under the deck, wide eyed, soaking it all in.

“The grilling area is behind you,” he whispered in her ear, coming up behind her. He was gratified that she didn’t jump at his unexpected close proximity, but a slight shiver worked its way down her spine instead. He led her over to the hammock at the edge of the deck above and the pool beyond.

“I can just see you laying here in the hammock reading,” she teased him, with a smile.

“Aye,” he confirmed. “It’s one of my favorite ways to relax when I’m down here.”

“This pool is gorgeous,” she said, turning back to him. “Glad I brought my bikini,” she informed him with a saucy wink before her cheeks flushed again and she looked away. He was thoroughly charmed by her blatant flirting, especially when it was followed by adorable bashfulness.

“What makes you think you’d need the bikini, Swan,” he asked, his voice husky and a bit deeper than usual. Two could play at that game. “It is a private island after all.” He waggled his eyebrows at her, causing her to smile with an even deeper blush than the one produced after her earlier flirtation.

“Over here, we have the bar area with a full bathroom behind that door.” He continued, pointing. “That other door takes us back inside to the main house and the stairs to the foyer. Over here,” he gently grabbed her arm and led her to the far side of the lanai, “is a natural stone waterfall. I’m particularly proud of it, because not only did I design it, but I built it as well.”

“It’s so beautiful,” she agreed. “So restful. Having running water and all this green around the pool, it’s a wonder you ever come inside,” she murmured.

“We can eat dinner out here tonight, if you’d like,” he proposed. “We have steaks for grilling.”

Her face lit up again with the brightest of smiles. “That sounds great,” she exclaimed. She swayed closer to him and looked up at him from under her lashes. “Bring a girl to a private island and cook her a steak dinner… think you’re gonna get lucky tonight?” She placed her hand on his chest where his heart was trying its best to thump its way out of his chest.

She was obviously getting more comfortable around him for her to be flirting with him like this. Even if she did seem to be a little unsure and hesitant about it. This time though, he was the one flushing with awareness. “Oh, uh, well,” he stammered, scratching behind his ear. It was a nervous tic that he’d had all his life and even at the age of thirty, he couldn’t seem to stop doing it when he was nervous. “That is entirely up to you, Swan.” He got his wits about him and bore his eyes into hers, bringing his own hand up to cover her own. “I know how I feel, and what I want to come from this getaway. But I’ll wait for you as long as you need.” He raised his other hand and caressed her cheek lightly.

His eyes held hers for a long moment more before he backed away to break the spell. “Well, that’s everything besides the master suite and my bedroom,” he declared. “Would you like to see either of those, or should we go ahead and start on dinner?”

“I’d really like to see the master suite,” she answered. “And yours too, if you didn’t mind. Everything is just so beautiful. I want to see it all.”

“Of course, Swan,” he agreed. “I’ll be glad to show you whatever you like.” He opened the door for her, leading to the stairs to the main level of the house.

“I put the master suite on this side, away from the other bedrooms thinking about the future with kids and grandkids staying here.” He grew wistful at the prospect then shook himself out of his reverie to continue. “And of course, there’s room to build another house or two on the island, so the entire family can come down and have their own spaces. As well as expansion opportunities for this house, if needed.”

Emma nodded as she followed behind him to the master suite. When she entered, she gasped again. As he came to stand beside her, she slapped him on the arm.

“Bloody hell, woman! What was that for?” he exclaimed, rubbing his arm as if she had punched him.

“For bringing me here, and showing me all this, and doing such a beautiful job on it, and, and…” tears shone in her eyes as she looked up at him. “I’ve never seen… I’ve never been to a place as beautiful as this. And for you to be the one to design and have a hand in building it… it’s just… a little overwhelming. That you would share this part of yourself with me.”

~*~*~

She could feel the blush spreading over her cheeks. Again. Why couldn’t she bring herself under control? At least he was blushing too, and scratching behind his ear again. That made her feel a little bit better. He was as nervous about showing this part of himself to her as she was about sharing her past with him.

She looked back at the master suite and caught her breath yet again. She moved further into the room and looked out at the deck. The suite had its own private access, and she couldn’t help swooning over the luxury of the design. The windows in the opposite corners of the room from the door let in an abundance of the late afternoon light. The room felt peaceful, a haven away from the cares of everyday life bathed in the glow of the setting sun.

She turned her eyes back toward him to see him making his way to where she stood looking at the deck. She wished that he would come up behind her, take her in his arms, pull her back against his chest, and just hold her while they watched the sun set. She shook her head at her fanciful musings. He’d never be that forward with her. Not yet anyway. It was one thing to flirt and indulge in casual, light touches. It was quite another to engage in that kind of behavior. The kind reserved for lovers.

She turned back to the deck and let out a breath she hadn’t been aware she’d been holding. “It’s just so beautiful, breathtaking” she breathed. She could feel the heat radiating off of his body as he stood behind her. Turning to him, her eyes caught his as a small smile teased his lips. “Thank you for bringing me here, for showing me this.” She looked up at him again. “For showing me you. The real you.”

“You’re quite welcome, Swan,” he murmured. His azure gaze held her captive as she reached for him and drew him down to her mouth. The kiss was gentle. A tentative exploration of lips and tongues. She pulled him closer and rose on her toes to meet him as she held him in her arms.

~*~*~

Killian was stunned when her lips met his. It only took a moment, however, for him to recover and meet her tentative overtures with his own. Her trepidation and uncertainty were on full display in the hesitancy with which she kissed him, and the shaking he could feel in her limbs. He pulled her to him and determined to let her lead as far as she was comfortable. He opened his mouth to her and groaned in the back of his throat as she accepted the invitation to deepen the kiss. One arm wrapped around her even tighter as the other hand rose to tangle in her golden locks. They rocked together as the waves of the sea, a gentle push and pull of discovery and passion. He was quite thoroughly wrecked when he broke the kiss and rested his forehead against hers.

“That was…” he whispered.

“Definitely not a one time thing,” she murmured back, trying to catch her breath. She stepped out of his arms and sent him a coy look from underneath her lashes. “So, let’s see the rest of the house, shall we?”

“We shall, Swan,” he replied, swallowing heavily. Turning toward the room, he pointed to the opposite corner. “The master bath is through there.” He followed her into the bathroom and was gratified to see the wide eyed amazement on her face as she took in the natural stone and marble accented bath. He whispered into her ear, “The bathtub is a whirlpool and holds two.” He waggled his eyebrows at her as she blushed furiously and tried to suppress her giggles.

“Well then, we may have to try it… later,” she flirted back.

He couldn’t hold back his grin at her statement. He led the way back into the suite and living room, before letting her precede him down the stairs to the guest wing. Passing her own room, she turned to him.

“I love my room. The bed was incredibly comfortable. I might need you to tell me what kind of mattress that was so I can get one for myself.” She continued up the stairs to the final room of the house. “Ohhh,” she breathed. “You weren’t kidding when you said this one had the best view,” she exclaimed.

The viewing angle to the pool and beach with deck below was even better than in her room and with the sun already behind the greenery surrounding the pool, the entire oasis was steeped in an artificial twilight that would become full dark in just another hour or so. Just enough time to get the steaks cooked.

“Well, that’s everything, Swan.” He motioned back toward the rest of the house. “What say you we collect those steaks and fire up the grill?”

“Sounds good.” Her eyes danced with undisguised delight as she led him out of the room and down the stairs. “I love me a good steak dinner. What kind of steaks are they?” she tossed over her shoulder.

“New York Strips,” he answered her with a chuckle. “Bigger and juicier with more meaty flavor then a tenderloin,” he continued, with a salacious grin and waggling eyebrows. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs outside her own room.

“Oh really?” she purred, as he joined her. “I do like my meat to be big and flavorful. It’s just so much more satisfying then.” The sultry look she gave him to accompany her flirting was enough to have his pants tightening uncomfortably. He released a chuckle as she turned away from him and headed back up the stairs to the main floor. The sway of her hips made him want to run to catch up with her and pull her to him to let her know exactly how she affected him.

The minx is going to be the death of me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After an excellent steak dinner accompanied by a heaping dose of flirting and innuendo and rounded out by an excellent Cabernet Sauvignon with a turtle cheesecake for dessert, Killian rose from the table. “Would you like to dance, Swan?” he asked, in all seriousness, holding his hand out to her.

She smiled gently at him as she laid her hand in his. “I’d love to,” she agreed, as he fiddled with his phone until soft music surrounded them from unseen speakers. She looked around in mild confusion as he drew her into his arms. “Where is the music coming from?”

“Hidden bluetooth speakers.” He chuckled at her wide eyed appreciation. They swayed slowly to the music just content to be in each others arms. Being held in the arms of the man she loved like this was better than she could have imagined. Her heart thundered in her chest as he tightened his arms around her and she laid her head on his shoulder. She broke out into a smile when she took a long inhale into the crook of his neck that made him shiver. The minutes passed in silence between them until the song changed to a waltz. She’d never done any ballroom dancing before, so the rhythm threw her off.

“Uh, I don’t...” she began, trying to pull away from him.

“It’s a waltz, Swan,” he interjected. “There’s only one rule,” he continued, drawing her more tightly into his arms, his eyes lit up with affection, “Pick a partner who knows what he’s doing.” He began to lead her in a simple box three step. His smile as he held her when she finally looked up at him after staring at their feet for most of the song, rivaled the sun at noon.

“Watch the mocking,” she pouted, “I think I may be getting the hang of this.” She looked back up into his sparkling blue eyes.

“I’m not mocking you, Swan. You’re doing just fine. You appear to be a natural.” He tightened his arm around her as the song changed again until she was fully pressed against him, from shoulder to knee.

They swayed together again, just barely moving. She could feel his arms flex around her, holding her close, making her feel safe. She rested her head on his shoulder again and her eyes drifted shut as they continued to sway to the music. A calm spread through her limbs like nothing she had ever felt before. The calm assurance that she was safe with him. Not just physically safe, but that her heart was safe with him. She thought back to the lunch with M’s, Belle, Ruby, and Tina. Remembering the discussion about soulmates and True Love. She looked up at him again, as she pulled away slightly.

“I have only been in love once before,” she whispered. He looked down into her eyes but remained silent. “His name was Neal and I met him when I was a sophomore in college.” His piercing gaze held her steady as the memories and pain washed over her. “I fell hard and fast. He was the first man to ever really pay me any attention and I was completely under his spell.” Her audience gave her an encouraging nod to continue when she paused to take a shaky breath.

“Over the course of the semester, I gave him everything I was. My virginity, my autonomy, my self-determination. My life became his, my wants and desires became his, my decisions became his, my body became his.” She shuddered remembering how thoroughly she had lost herself in that relationship. “I truly believed that he loved me as I loved him and that we would be together forever, so what did it matter that I completely isolated myself from my mom, my friends, my coworkers?”

Tears filled her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. Not for him. He wasn’t worth a single one. Tears for the naive, trusting girl that she had been and was now lost forever though, was another story.

“When I got back to campus after Christmas, the truth came out.” Her voice broke and she choked back a sob. “I walked into my dorm to find him in bed with my roommate.” She wiped a tear away that had escaped. “He wasn’t the man I thought he was and I got my heart broken.” His attention never wavered and the myriad of emotions he was feeling paraded themselves across his countenance as she finished her story.

“I’m glad to hear that, Emma,” he said, finally breaking the silence.

“You’re glad to hear I had my heart broken?” she asked, unable to disguise the hurt in her voice.

His finger traced the bottom of her chin as he lifted her face towards his. “If it can be broken,” he said, gently, “that means it still works. Even if it has been a really long time.” She stared into his eyes, catching her breath at the honesty and longing contained within. The silence stretched between them until she raised herself onto her toes and brushed his lips with hers.

He groaned as he pulled her flush with him and took possession of her mouth, plundering her as if he were a pirate of old and she was his greatest treasure. He lifted her in his arms as she tightened her arms around his shoulders and plunged her hands in his raven locks. His tongue as he stroked hers lit a fire within that threatened to consume her. His hands caressed the soft curves of her body until she melted into him with a moan that if she cared at all would be far too loud for the public setting of their dalliance. Even if they were on a private island.

Holding him tightly to her, her back met a solid surface and her hands began to slide over his body. She felt his strong shoulders, then his long, lean torso. The muscles there flexed from his exertions and the exploration of her fingers. Lifted off her feet, she wrapped her legs around his hips and crossed her ankles in the small of his back, bringing his hips flush to her core. He thrust his clothed hips into hers in time with the strokes of his tongue in her mouth. The inferno that raged within her veins melted her very insides as she succumbed to the exquisite pleasure of his ministrations. The dizziness brought on by the assault of his lips and hands overwhelmed her as his hand worked its way underneath her blouse to trace along her ribs until it cupped a breast, his fingers plucking at her nipple until it was at full hardness and screamed for his mouth.

Emma wrenched her lips from his on a moan. “Please,” she begged him.

“Please what, Swan?” he inquired, pressing tender kisses into her jaw and neck as he worked his way down into the valley between her breasts.

“Please,” she moaned thrusting her hips into his as much as she could while pinned to the column behind her. He pulled back until his eyes met her own. The clear blue was almost completely eclipsed by his blown pupils. She imagined that hers were much the same.

“Bed,” she whispered into the space between them.

He gave a small nod, then got her settled more securely in his arms. “Hold on tight, love,” he murmured before lifting her away from the column. She wrapped herself more tightly around him as he moved towards the stairs that would take them to the deck above and the main level of the house. Her lips found his pulse point and latched on as he climbed the stairs, nipping and sucking before soothing the area with her tongue. The groan that he let out encouraged her to continue. “I’m liable to drop you, Swan,” he complained, “if you don’t stop that for just a moment. Let me at least get off the stairs…” he trailed away as she released a chuckle into his skin. He opened the door into the living room as her lips claimed his again.

One hand left her ass as he sought the bannister to the stairway to the guest suite. “Awwww,” she teased, releasing his lips, “am I too distracting, sir, that you can’t make your way to a bedroom?”

The growl that he let loose as they entered her bedroom sent a shiver of desire down her spine. “I’ll show you distracted, woman.” He threw her down on the bed. His eyes were predatory as she shuffled her way up to the head of the bed and he climbed up, hovering over her. “How’s this for distracted?” He lowered himself to her and nuzzled into where her neck joined her collar. Her head lolled back to grant him greater access. “My beautiful Swan deserves my full and prompt attention,” he murmured, thrusting his hips into hers and devouring the skin at the base of her neck.

Moaning, she pulled him back up to her lips with a force that caused him to fall completely on top of her. Her legs opened as he claimed her mouth again, allowing him to settle in the cradle of her thighs. Her hips met his in a sensuous dance that was as primal and possessive as the one they both longed for. The roll of his hips hit her just right and after just a few thrusts into her clothed center, an orgasm unexpectedly crashed over her. Groaning into his mouth, she shuddered in his arms, coming down from her high while their lips and tongues continued to duel.

Without any warning, he stiffened above her, letting out a stream of unintelligible curses as he rolled off of her. With obvious reluctance, he sat up and moved away from her on the bed. “Sorry about that. I uh… got a little carried away.” He turned slightly towards her, cheeks and the tops of his ears aflame.

“I thought that was the idea,” she choked out, trying to make some sense of what was going on. The fire that he had lit under her skin demanded satisfaction, but she had to bring herself back to some semblance of sanity. She lay on the bed for the longest time still trying to pull herself together.

Tension rolled off him in waves as he ran his hand through his hair in frustration. “Believe me, please. This is not easy to say.”

Her eyes widened in surprise. “You don’t want me?” She hated herself for how small and vulnerable she sounded at that moment.

“No, Swan,” he exclaimed. “God no!” He grabbed her hand and brought it to where he was hard and thick. His eyes rolled in the back of his head at her touch. “Does that feel like I don’t want you, darling?” he asked, his eyes finally meeting hers.

She blushed furiously. “No,” she whispered.

He released her hand and she snatched it back to her side as if burned. “Don’t ever doubt, Swan, that I want you.”

“Then what’s going on?”

He released a resigned sigh. “Something’s not right. It’s not time yet.”

She stared at him as if he had grown a second head. “It’s not time yet? Are you kidding me?” she asked, incredulously.

“I know! I KNOW!” he growled. “Believe me, I know! I’m not happy about this either.” His shoulders slumped in despondency. “I’m afraid we’re moving too fast. I mean,” he beseeched her, “you didn’t even agree to come with me on this trip until about fifteen hours ago. Being on this beautiful island, exchanging our stories, it can make for a very heady combination. I don’t want you to regret anything in the morning,” he whispered.

He was right. And she hated that he was right. Her body was telling her she wouldn’t regret a thing, but she knew herself. She knew she could very well wake up in the morning and blame the romance of the island for falling into bed with him so quickly.

“Tell me I’m wrong, Swan.”

“I want to,” she spat, struggling to hold back the tears that were gathering. “But you’re not.”

“I’m sorry, Swan,” he lamented, standing up from the bed. “I truly am. I think it’s best if we wait, though.”

Emma nodded, but refused to look at him. Despite his assurances, she couldn’t stop the humiliation at feeling rejected from sweeping over her.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” he mumbled before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

Unable to contain her tears any longer, she let them fall as she let out a muffled scream of frustration into the nearest pillow and then chucked it at the closed door. She got under the comforter wanting him, hating him, and loving him more than ever.

#Time and Again #ch6 #cs fanfic #cs modern au #krystal writes #art by krystal

37 notes · View notes

skvaderarts · 4 years

Text

Apocrypha Chapter Eight: Unoccupancy

Masterlist can be found Here! Thanks!

Chapter Eight: Unoccupancy

Note: Logging onto A03 and seeing so many comments in my inbox brought me such joy. Thank you all so much for reaching out every week and talking about the story with me. It's always the highlight of my week, especially since my job still isn't really open again yet. Having something fun to look forward to every week is great. Truly. Thank you!

(-~-)

It seemed as though the very air held its breath as they approached, a gentle but damp breeze shifting the leaves in the trees that lined the street as a coating of misty rain drenched the outside of the buildings. Trails formed by droplets of water ran down the windows of every building on the block, staining the glass and trickling down onto their attached ledges before finally plummeting towards the pavement below. Decades old yet well maintained gutters helped transfer any water that dared make its way onto the roofs of the homes to its proper place in the city's storm drains. This was the historic district of town and everything from the ornate metal benches that dotted the block, to the vintage street lights and tree planters reflected that. Every row house was slightly different from the next and it was somewhat impressive how well kept the area was, not to mention how quiet it was considering its proximity to downtown.

And that was the matter that brought them to the front steps of the building standing before them. It was a three story Edwardian townhouse clad in dark grey brick with white stone trim around the windows. Due to it's placement on the very end of the block, it was almost twice the size of each of the nearby homes, since it wrapped around the block and faced the corner on both sides. The outside of the spacious home was just as well kept as the rest on the block, aside from the now empty planter boxes on each the windows that had more than likely once housed purple flowers if their remnants were anything to go by. They were small and white, seemingly metal and held by ornate holders made from black iron. Black stone stairs with grey tops and a black metal rail that matched the window boxes tied the building together beautifully. The thick green leaves that snaked around the house in healthy vines draped down over the ornate dark purple front door, lending the house an age that it's condition didn't show. All and all, a stately and sizable dwelling.

V looked up at the imposing but beautiful structure, totally awestruck by it. While every building on this street shared a similar monochrome color pallet, this was the only one with a colored door or matching dark purple dragon scale shingles. There were little things about it that made it stand out in his mind, and he couldn't help but appreciate the aesthetic. To say that it didn't appeal to his darker sensibilities would be a lie. he considered this for a moment before noticing that Magnolia has started to make her way up the flared stone steps, the window wells on either side forming a sort moat to the front entrance that made the stairs seem even more grand. It was like crossing a bridge, and he was somewhat surprised that a house this tall possessed a basement at all. Was there an attic as well?

"Well, this is it, Dear," Magnolia said as she inserted a key into the lock," Sorry for the mess. No one has lived here in a very long time."

As he crossed the threshold and stepped into the house, V did an internal double take at the sight that unfolded before him. They were standing in a foyer with tall arched doorways on either side of them. A rounded spiral stairway curved up to the second story gracefully, belying an abundance of space just out of sight. A balcony looked down from above them, but nothing else could be seen from where he currently stood. The room was large for a townhouse, but not oversized. As they stepped in the room to the left, the two of them were greeted by a large corner bay window on the far side of the room that sat in the middle of where the street corner would be from outside. The fireplace to the left of the bay window seemed as though it had not been used in a considerable time, much like Magnolia had indicated when they'd arrived moments ago. A few pieces of furniture sat in scattered parts of the room covered by cloth tarps in an attempt to keep out the elements. Besides that, he couldn't glean much more about their condition without uncovering them.

Magnolia walked over to the window and pulled open the tall curtains that adorned the walls. The ceiling height in the room had to be close to fifteen feet, and that coupled with the position of the window made for a blinding amount of natural light despite the rainy conditions outside. Medium grey wall paint was paired with a white trim that somehow made the room seem even larger than it already was. V could only guess how large the rest of the residence was. The young summoner was rapidly coming to the conclusion that magnolia might be secretly wealthy.

"I'd offer you a place to sit, by my siblings took all the best furniture when my parents passed away," She gestured to the room around her, somewhat downtrodden as her normally chipper voice took on a slightly somber tint," I want to show you something in the back of the house. Care to follow me this way?

V followed after he with a diligent nod, still taking in his surroundings. Her parents had lived here then? What had they done when they were alive to amass the kind of wealth required to possess such a stately property? The two cut through the kitchen that sat in the back of the house. There were no appliances, but everything else was still intact. At most, the room seemed to just need a good dusting and maybe a new coat of paint due to its apparent age.

When they reached the far side of the kitchen, they entered what had probably been some sort of combination mudroom and laundry room before going through a door that led to the outside of the townhouse. V hadn't considered the possibility of a yard while touring the residence with her. He'd been too preoccupied with the rest of the house. While it wasn't huge, the remnants of what had once been a garden grew up the far wall next to another door. This one, unlike the front door, was black and wan't arched despite sharing a similar design overall.

"That's the garage I parked in when we arrived. We walked around the front," She stated, noticing that his attention had been drawn there," My little sister and I used to spend hours out here as teenagers. She doesn't come around anymore. Too busy with family affairs to bother actually interacting with her family. I hardly recognize the lass anymore."

V couldn't help but notice that she seemed more sad about that little revelation that she did upset. Had that happened a long time ago? Or had she just lost the motivation to be upset about it anymore? He wasn't going to ask her either way. It wasn't his place to bring up something like that. If she wanted him to know more, she'd tell him. That much he knew from personal experience with his own inner thoughts and struggles.

"... I'm sorry to hear about your parents, Magnolia." V said quietly. The last thing he intended to do was be impolite," You grew up here?"

A somber smile crossed her face as she shook her head. "No, we only lived here together for about two years. Maybe even a little less. I inherited the place after they passed away. They were asleep when the lodge they were staying at during a vacation caught fire," She fell silent for a moment, seemingly needing a second to collect herself before continuing," My two younger sisters and I went to stay with an aunt shortly after, so no one has set foot in this place for at least a decade. This entire block had just been built around the time you were born, I suspect. It's a pity, but no one in our family wants to live here. We lack an emotional attachment to the place. Everything that meant something to us we took out a lifetime ago. If I let my youngest sister have her way, she'd probably have it torn down or something just so she didn't have to think about it."

For a moment, V recalled the furniture that had been covered up and left to sit in the main room. While the concept of a family home was something foreign to him, he understood the concept and was more than capable of comprehending how someone might become emotionally attached or detached to a building. Still, it was a strange thing to him to imagine holding contempt towards a house that nothing bad had happened in. He assumed that her reasons were her own and decided to leave it at that for the time being. There were other matters to attend to. "What motivated you to bring me here if you haven't been here in so long?"

Magnolia's eyes brightened slightly as a small smile spread across her face. She looked out across the yard in silent contemplation for a moment before returning her attention to him, folding her arms around herself in an attempt to keep the warmth inside of her peacoat. "... I met your father shortly before they passed away. We were both young and I was focused on my studies, but watching my sisters terrorize him was always such a hoot! In his own way, I think he liked being here. Vergil never said as much, but he kept coming over until we stopped living here. And although they didn't interact with him much since they were rarely here, I think my parents saw him as the son they never had." She paused for a second, thinking of how she wanted to phrase what she said next," I thought that perhaps if this place wasn't meant to stay in my family, that it was only right that it become a part of yours."

V gave her a curious look, not quite comprehending what she was trying to tell him. Had she offered to sell it to Vergil since he'd known her parents? Why had she brought him here to tell him about it other than to show him around? Did she assume that he and Vergil were going to be living together at some point in the future?

"That's very kind, but I don't think I quite follow you." V said almost sheepishly. He suddenly had an irrational fear of upsetting her in her deceased parents home that he hadn't possessed before she'd tried to explain her intentions to him." What are you trying to tell me?"

Magnolia laughed slightly, seeming to pick up on his discomfort. "Sorry V, I'll be a little more straight forward this time. Were you considering moving in the near future? I feel that I may have not been entirely forthcoming as to my motivations," She shifted slightly, seeming to share his trepidations but not for the same reasons," I think that we could both use a fresh start. To know that my parents legacy of philanthropy lived on through gifting this property to you would bring me… release. That is the best way I can put it into words, dear. All I'm asking is that you consider it. It's been paid off for years, so you'd only have to worry about taxes, and they aren't much. Estate tax and all that. A truly broken system, really."

V paled at her words, suddenly feeling the blood rush to his face. Had she really just offered him this place? He was positive at no one had ever tried to give him a gift this expensive or personal in his entire life. It was unheard of and he was struck silent trying to comprehend the proper reaction and response to it. Sensing his distress, Griffon materialized and fluttered around the small outdoor space, coming to a stop on his shoulder. He shook his head, failing the urge to repress his snickering.

"Sorry, but I think you broke his brain a little. If I'm being honest, It's not really that hard to do. Nice to meet cha!" The mouthy bird made himself comfortable as V's brain tried to unlock itself.

"Ah, an avian familiar then," Magnolia said, unfolding her arms and nodding to herself," How lovely! I like your style. Might I pet you, little one? I simply adore your coloration!"

Griffon fluffed himself, ducking his head down and pulling his wings up. He wasn't expecting to be doted over. "Watch the feathers, and your fine," Griffon said, trying to hide is mild embarrassment by tucking his head under his wing," You could learn a thing or two from her, V. You know, show your appreciation a little more from time to time."

V shot his feathered companion an unappreciative look, his brow furrowing. "Perhaps Shadow is hungry. Why don't we check?"

The vibrant blue bird fluttered away with a squawk, landing on a half wall near the garage. Shadow surged forward, scampering after her feathered companion. She intended to capitalize on the open space and privacy that the yard afforded her. Magnolia glanced over at the demonic panther, seemingly impressed. "That's quite a powerful demon to have in your repertoire. They are not normally so obedient. I heard you used to have three different familiars?"

The young summoner nodded, his thoughts now less foggy than they had been. Having a moment to process her generosity had been beneficial to him. "That's correct. I currently have two now, however." He took a moment to think about the proper way to express what he wanted to say before speaking,"... I will have to take some time to think about your offer, Magnolia. I hope I don't seem ungrateful."

She shook her head. "I wouldn't expect you to give me an answer right away. This is a lot to take in, dear. Please don't feel forced to say yes just because I asked. Get back to me when you're ready," She said with a warm smile as she headed over towards the inside door," That being said, I should show you the rest of the house. Nico is probably wondering where we disappeared to right about now. But I'm guessing that you're going to want to see what's left of the library before we leave."

V craned his head to one side as he followed after her, his familiars following after him as he headed inside. "... Did you say there was a library?"

(-~-)

Quarantine has officially ruined my sleeping patterns. One day I wake up at 5 am and the next at 8 pm. Sometimes (like today) I wake up at 10 am and decide I can stand to get a few more minutes of sleep and wake up AT MIDNIGHT. And that is why my uploads are so wishy washy in terms of upload time. Sorry about that. I hope you all enjoyed this little intermission chapter. Next week is the start of the "beach arc" so get ready for that! It's gonna be super fun!

#Apocrypha #V'sApocrypha #Dmc #DMCV #DMC5 #Post DMC5 #Post DMCV #Post Devil May Cry 5 #Post Devil May Cry V #V #Vitale #V DMC #Magnolia #Vergil and Magnolia #Magnolia Ludwick #Vitale Sparda #V Sparda

0 notes

pantmonger · 7 years

Text

The Witch Cult Kickstarter Postmortem

With my Kickstarter wrapping up and only reaching five percent of its funding target I think we can safely say that it failed to achieve its goal. So now is the time to learn from this, and just as the entirety of the project up to this point has been public, I will also make this post-mortem public, in the hope others can learn from my mistakes. Below the cut is a lengthy read. Time to own some mistakes.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What do I think were the failings of the project.

Audience: The limited size of my reach / audience

This I feel was the largest issue contributing to the Kickstarter failing to get funded. In some of these areas I personally needed to do better. While others areas were down to the vagaries of fortune. However it was such a big one that I will break it into several sub categories.

Audience: My existing fan base was not large enough to support the funding needed.

A year ago when I quit my job to commence work on this project I understood that if it was going to get funded, I needed an audience. With that in mind I read books on expanding your audience and implemented as many of the tips as I was able.

Daily updates, free content, tutorials, engaging with audience etc. Some of these I was doing anyway, but others embraced and implemented. Some others I lacked the money and /or free time to implement, such as competitions. This may have been an effort to reward miscalculation.

But there was always going to be an uncontrollable element here. By and large people who see my work like it. It is, without being immodest, of professional quality. It has after all been my profession for quite some time. Of those that see and like my work a percentage hang around to see more. But I have never gone viral, I have never had the fortune of cracking the number of fans that snowballs into a solid, interested, financially supporting, fan base of size. That is one nut I just don’t know how to crack. But I kept plugging away in to hope of it happening.

By the end of the year I had approximately doubled my reach with 500+ followers both on Facebook and Tumblr and another 300+ on Twitter.

But 1300 followers was just not enough for a project with such a low product price per unit but high overall needed funding to succeed. Even if everyone had financially engaged (a big ask there) at $15 each I was going to need 4500 to hit the funding goal. That number would now require a sizable uptake from previously not engaged people. Too much as it would turn out.

Audience: Advertising and paid reach.

Which brings me to the second way to get interested eyes on your project, advertising and promotion. Here my failures were two fold. I do not possess skills in this area, and I did not have the funds to cover realistic advertising costs nor to hire someone who would know what they were doing in this regard.

I do not personally know what advertisements work best, what are the best money to return strategies or the best places to target. I went in totally blind, and that hurt the project. I have seen many posts about this very topic and how foolish it is to go in without a publicist but I had little choice due to the no funds problem.

In the end I spent a small amount, a couple of hundred dollars, on things like Facebook targeted advertising and similar, but only really gained a handful of likes and followers for the money. A very low return on investment as it were.

If I had more money to throw at advertising, I may have gotten more interested people, but even so I probably would have wanted to pour it into the project instead as I do not know where the threshold for more return then investment sits in this regard.

Audience: Journalists and third party coverage.

Another mix of bad lack and poor effort combined here I'm afraid.

Talking to a few journalist friends, few of them if any are interested in covering generic Kickstarters anymore. That hurt my chances. But ultimately it was I who really dropped the ball here.

I have a knee jerk hate of self-promotion. Of spinning my message (even when it requires very little spin). Thus my efforts in contacting people were token at best. And I ignored other avenues as I did not want to 'trade' off hot button topics.

My game features a main character who is a POC with no assigned gender. Yet I failed to reach out to those that might want to cover such things.

My game is about a group of refugees fleeing oppression. Yet I failed to reach out to those that might want to cover such things.

My game is a solo project by a Brisbane local and once again I failed to reach out to those that cover these things.

If there was a ball I dropped, it was this one, all because I feel uncomfortable with that kind of promotion.

Lack of a demo

This is pretty straight forward. I should have had a demo, a vertical slice. And I did not. While I was working on my own dime, I wanted to focus on things that would matter, that I enjoyed, even if the project was to fail.

So I focused on art, on reusable in game assets, and on design. I ignored all but the most surface level code, as I viewed it as a chore. A necessary and completable chore, but one that could be done when I was getting 'paid' for the project.

This was a mistake.

By the time I realised it, it was too late to correct. I feel that it affected peoples understanding of the project, and their faith that it could be completed by me, an artist.

And I missed out on the promotion a fun playable demo would have garnered.

Take home - Make a demo, preferably playable.

Lack of novelty / gimmick / stunning original gameplay

Everyone loves a gimmick, some novelty or a truly original gameplay break through.

My game little in the way of these things and those it had I did not highlight.

I felt that the structured and later emergent gameplay of solving platform puzzles and challenges through the manipulation of a personal light source and sound in an oblique view dungeon crawl was interesting in its own right. But I did a terrible job of drawing attention to this.

A demo would have helped, as would have more concrete examples.

But this was another dropped ball and a bad one to drop when the market is saturated with cookie cutter clones and cash -ins, I needed to stand out, but I failed to do so.

Saturation of the market.

This is obviously beyond my control but I would be remiss not to mention it.

At the moment every person and their dog is pumping out indie titles. Some are solid passion projects, others shameless 2 month re-skin cash ins. Consumers are both spoiled for choice and risk adverse and that's just in regards to products already on the market, not ones that require a chancy investment.

This made the challenge of getting my project funded greater, and unfortunately I failed to meet that challenge.

The little things

There are also a few minor things that I felt hurt my chances.

Not detailing my costs.

I got some general feedback from people who felt I was asking for too much funding at 70k for a solo project. It probably would have helped to do a break down that showed how once you took out the fees (10%) and the GST (10%) it dropped the amount of funding to $56k Australian over 1.5 years and that funding would also attract income tax. Meaning for that development period I would be working at a substantial pay cut. But without making that info clear and public people saw 70k and some thought it was an excessive money grab.

No physical assets

I went digital assets for simple reasons: cost control and available time.

I could not afford the time needed to deal with having physical products made, sent out, dealing with refunds, damages and returns, faulty products, overseas postage estimates and blowouts. I have no experience with any of these things and the financial margins were already so narrow that they could have collapsed the project. The risk seemed too great and I gave it a pass.

But people do love physical rewards, so it most likely cost me backers, but I cannot accurately predict how much.

Going it alone.

Yeah, this hurt me. Given the one bit of journalism about my project highlighted this as a major risk, it would be silly in retrospect to not accept that it would of influenced people faith in the project.

I was blinded by the desire to make my project. I did not want to have to convince someone else to shoulder the risk of my passion project and work on it for a year with me on that basis. I certainly did not have the money to pay someone. So I went it alone, and this hurt the project. I still think overall it was the right choice, but it was a factor the projects funding failure.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What do I think were the success of the project.

Quality of the promotional art

Having a year is which to work on a lot of illustration and concept probably gave me the biggest skill jump I have had since I was studying it back in 2003. This showed in the quality of the promotional work for 'The Witch Cult' which was some of the best work I have ever done.

I felt it was effective at communicating the mood and tone of the game. As well as some of the novelty of the setting, such as the chicken huts striding over a Victorian London type setting.

The art did its job as well as I could of hoped, and was a definite successful part of the project.

Volume of Existing Assets

I felt the volume of assets I was able to create prior to the Kickstarter going live and throughout its existence helped foster faith in the project.

I felt it showed that the scope and detail that the project would encapsulate. That it was indicative of and communicated the expected final quality of the project. And that it was within my ability to deliver.

In retrospect, as mentioned above, the project should of cut back a bit in this area and added more on the code front. But I am still placing the effect of having these assets going in as something that affected the Kickstarter in a positive way.

The volume and scope of concept work.

Similar to above, having a large catalogue of concept art assets helped communicate the themes, tone and feel of the game.

They were also instrumental is generating interest, especially via the drip feed over time in the year leading up to the launch. They are probably primarily responsible for the increase in my audience size over the time leading up to the launch.

Thus they served the dual process of providing me with necessary concept and served a second promotional function. I count this as one of the projects most successful parts.

Personal discipline

Over the duration of this project, while working from home and living off my own savings I managed to put in a solid 8 hours per day, 5 days a week for almost the entire year.

And beyond this being a point of personal pride, I felt that helped build backer faith that I would be able to deliver the project; that it would not fail through lack of effort or due to my depression (an illness that I have always been public about). That this was communicated through the number and quality of existing assets being produced by a me as solo developer. I feel this helped the project immensely and was a definite win.

The Kickstarter video and pitch itself

I researched a number of successful Kickstarters, especially around projects I personally loved like 'Sunless Sea' and took on board their basic structure.

I invested time into making little visual assets such a subject headers to give the entire pitch a polished feel.

I tested with my existing audience the kind of rewards that they liked and ones they were not so keen on and price points for them.

I made the pitch video the same way as I intended to do in game cut scenes, to communicate to backers the setting and its themes. Bought licences for music and at the risk of blowing my own horn, my own experiences with performance helped me with the quality of the overall video and its voice over narrative.

I feel all of this went as well as I could have hoped

Within a few days I was endorsed as a 'Project we Love' by Kickstarter.

Over 25 percent of backers pledged enough to get the 'art of' book, the comic or both’.

15% of people who watched the video, watched it to completion all 3.5min of it.

This area was in my opinion one of the successful ones.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Conclusions

In the end the Kickstarter failed to achieve is funding goal. Although I personally had faith in the product, I failed to inspire others to the necessary levels through some promotional failing on my behalf and due to some elements beyond my direct control.

If I was to hit one big take home from this: You need an audience!

I still don't know how to get one. Good product, advertising, luck with journalists, luck with something going viral a mixture of all these things or something I have not yet considered. It is a hurdle, in my opinion, the biggest.

But much good that came out of this, despite its failure to get funded. I made some new contacts with other games makers and indie peers.

I gained new audience and extended my reach.

I felt part of the games industry again, in a way I had not since the big Australian crash.

I got to experience a year in which I was my own boss and got to make my own creative decisions. An entire year to work on my art: that was pretty amazing.

I also leave the Kickstarter with general good feelings about the attempt. People were willing to back my project, to pay for my art. Being a solo artist, you can often feel the yoke of impostor syndrome. But a bunch of folk, the majority of them strangers, put money forward saying 'I like your work, your project.'

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Where to now

In the short term I will need to take a step away from the project proper. My self-funding has come to an end and through necessity I must again seek employment. Preferably back in the games and general art industries, as creating things is the only satisfying path for me.

I would still like to see the game itself become a reality. It will most likely happen by me working on it part time as my hobby project. But thought of pitching it at a publisher or existing game company may be other paths I could try.

I would also still like to tell the story of the cult, and always intended to make a comic about it, so that’s probably the next step for it. Who knows, maybe through comics, further art and demos I might gain that elusive beast called Audience and Kickstarter the whole thing over again, successfully this time.

To those who came on this journey with me, especially those that backed the project. Thank you. It’s been an absolute pleasure.

Michael Fitzhywel and The Witch Cult.

#Michael Fitzhywel #Pantmonger #Kickstarter fail #Postmortem #indie game development

4 notes · View notes