#there was probably no one in her life growing up who didn’t betray her or lie to her

[tayytayy12]

You’re losing me | CS55 x Reader

Summary - Reader and Carlos had been married for a year when he started growing distant, thinking his actions would have no consequences but he didn’t realise he was slowly but surely losing you.

Warnings - mentions of cheating, just angst really

Type - Written

Requested - Yes

THERE WILL BE A PT2 !!

Feel free to ask to be tagged <3

You remembered the day that you had first met Carlos, you remembered the way his kind words had made your cheeks turn red, you remembered how perfect he seemed, and he was perfect with and for you. Well, until he wasn’t.

You and Carlos had been together for five years before he asked you to marry him at the stop the pair of you had first met, it was the most romantic thing anybody had ever done for you, the way he had your favourite song playing quietly in the background as he told you how he loved you and wanted to spend forever with you. You was a mess of smiles and tears and you accepted his proposal over and over again until he kissed you and it was like all time stopped, nothing else mattered in that moment except you and him.

The wedding was a dream, both of your families came, as did all of your friends. It was an emotional day for everybody, they knew how in love you and Carlos were, they knew you had to work out. You remember your wedding night when you had a conversation with Charles, the man being one of your closest friends and he actually being hoe you had met Carlos, and he told you that in all the years he had known the pair of you he had never seen either of you so happy. Everyone’s words gave you the confidence to be reassured that you and Carlos would work.

It was only a week after your wedding day that your husband began to grow distant and cold. It was gradual at first, him advising you to stay home on race weekends to focus more on work, but that didn’t bother you that much, you just through that he knew how much you loved your job and wanted you to be happy, but it only got worse after that.

He would say things, keep secrets, control what you wore and say hurtful things. You had no idea where it was coming from, but you didn’t say anything out of fear of losing the love of your life - well, at least who you thought was the love of your life - and you let his changes happen.

Some of the reasons that you did that was probably because all you would think about when he had just had an episode where he would have outburst at you and stormed out of the house leaving you alone, again, was the moments the pair of you shared that made you feel like the only girl in the world. When he proposed, when he said his vows, when he spoke about you ever so fondly in interviews like he was waiting for the reporter to ask about you, when you thought about those moments it was almost like all the pain the last year had put you through didn’t matter.

It was currently two in the morning as you sat alone in yours and Carlos’ bed for a eight consecutive night at the beginning of a double header he insisted you stay home for, tears flowing freely form your eyes leaving a hot wet trail down your cheeks in return as you stared down at the glowing screen of your phone.

You had woke up from a message from your sister , you was confused and little bit concerned, she was on a night out with her friends, did she need your help? Did something happen to her?

The words on the screen had hit you like a tone of bricks, he swore he would never. He wouldn’t, he couldn’t.

All you could do was cry as the notifications from all your social media’s started coming through on people tagging you and messaging you apologising about Carlos, but your sister was right, he was with a girl at a club in Austin and they was kissing, and probably more you though as yous rolled into some pictures of your husband and the girl leaving the club together and getting into Carlos’ car.

It hurt watching all if this unfold, you felt like it was your fault, you felt sick, betrayed even. You wanted to yell, scream and call Carlos every insulting word under the sun, but all you could do in that moment was subconsciously put your hand in your stomach and glance at the positive pregnancy test on your nightstand.

You suppressed a broken sob into your hand and you made a promise to yourself that you could do this alone, without Carlos, not just for you, but for the baby in your stomach. You would get strong for them.

It was that moment that Carlos Sainz had officially lost you for good.

—

[luvyeni]

Yay okay can I please request an Anton fic Where he’s a virgin and he tells reader that he wants her to take his virginity but he’s really shy so y/n suggests they start off slow so she starts making out with him and dry humping him but then he tells her he wants to cum in her hand so she jerks him off that way and he does it all over her and it gets everywhere and it’s just messy and-

Tell me you understand my vison user luvyeni on Tumblr 🤭🤭?? Anyways that’s my request 😜

❛GOOD BOY❜ ( l. anton )

p. nerd!anton x popular!reader wc. 1.4k

warnings? dry humping, handjob, cumming w/o penetration

— 𖦹 ( helping out your shy boyfriend ) !

anton often truly wondered what he had done in his past life for him to been able to get a girlfriend as wonderful as you. you were incredibly smart, probably even smart as him always on top of your classes. not only were you smart, but you were also one of the popular girls, but you weren’t like the stereotypical mean bully mean girl; you were kind to everyone, never saying anything bad about everyone, even a loner nerd like him.

you guys met actually because you came to his rescue – one of the football players, who also happened to be your boyfriend at the time and his other friends would often come and corner the boy, stealing his money, throwing his things to the floor. you saw what happened, quickly coming to his defense, breaking up with the boy in front of everyone, quick guiding the boy away from danger, holding his books.

soon a cute little friendship formed, you’d leave all your friends and people who’d crowded around you, just to walk over to his table to sit with him and eat your lunch.

anyone would fall for a girl like you, anton included – and now that you were showing him all this affection, he’d fallen head over heels for you. but crazy enough, you beat him to it, you were actually the one who asked him on a date – you were even the one to ask him to be your boyfriend, which he of course said yes.

if anton could change one thing about himself, it would be how shy he would get around you, he wished he could voice what he wanted to you whenever he wanted – especially when it came to sex. he was a virgin obviously, the only thing he’d done was a few make out sessions, and that was with you.

he knew you were much more experienced than he was, and he could never satisfy you, but what would he be if he didn’t try. but even now, you were laying on his bed, your skirt riding up exposing your thighs, his pants growing tight, he still was too shy to speak up.

“anton?” you snapped your fingers in his face. “love, what’s wrong?” you said now sitting on your knees in front of him. “n-nothing, i’m fine.” his soft voice making you smile. “you don’t seem fine, what’s going on in that head of yours?” you placed your hand on his thigh, right below his growing cock, his breath hitched, he prayed you didn’t hear him. “i-i’m fine.”

you sighed, bringing your other hand to his forehead. “are you sick? do you need medicine?” you questioned, his face was now beat red, your hand was centimeters away from his bulge. “you’re burning up.”

you didn’t know what you were doing, you genuinely were concerned about him, but he didn’t know how much longer he could take it before his voice betrayed him. “anton just tell me, i won’t judge you love.” your hand came from his forehead to his cheek, caressing it.

he gulped, now was the time to man up. “i -um- iwantyoutotakemyvirginity.” he spoke so fast, his voice was still hushed, but you heard everything he said. “i know it’s embarrassing, but– no it’s not baby.” you reassured him. “i’ve told you, you will never embarrass me.” you kissed his lips, pulling away with a smile.

“it’s okay to be a virgin anton, let’s just take it slow, okay?” he nodded, he couldn’t look you in the eyes. “hey.” you called, climbing into his lap – this wasn’t new, but it still always shocked him. “you’re already hard.” you cocked your head to the side. “i-i’m sorry, i couldn’t hmph.” you shut him up with another kiss.

“stop apologizing for stuff that’s normal, look let’s just take it slow, okay?” you said softly ran your hands through his hair. “let’s start with what we know.” he nodded, you grabbed the sides of his face, kissing him, taking the lead like you always did, slipping your tongue into his mouth.

he kept his hands at his side, gripping the sheets in attempts to calm himself down, but with the way you were sitting directly on his cock, it was getting hard to control himself. you pulled away, grabbing his hands, placing them high on your thighs, under your skirt. “it’s okay, you can touch me.”

he let out a whimper, his cock was now painfully hard, he felt like he was gonna cum just from this – just from you sitting on him while kissing. you smiled against his lips, pulling away, he chased your lips, you giggled, wiping the spit from his lips. “so cute.”

“i-i…” he stopped, unable to speak. “what is it baby, tell me what you want.” you said. “c-can you move, it hurts.” whimpered out again. “of course, i can, such a good boy for speaking up.” you began to move your hips, he moaned – the feeling of the material from his underwear rubbing against his cock had him feeling dizzy.

not only that, but you were also moaning, your shirt unbuttoned revealing your bra, your boobs peaking from from the top – thinking about what he wanted to do to them had him about to cum, but he didn’t want to cum like this, he wanted more. “m-more.”

you stopped moving, your hands placed on his shoulders to keep yourself up. “you want more, pretty boy.” he whimpered at the name, nodding. “pl-please.” he said looking up at you with his wide doe eyes. “okay, i’ll give you more.”

you climbed off his lap, he looked at you confused. “i told you, we’re taking it slow.” you sat on the side of him, unbuckling his pants. “next time you’ll be able to fuck me, let’s not overwhelm you too much.” he nodded, you smiled. “good boy, lift your hips up for me.” you pulled his pants down enough to pull his cock from its confinements, he was average sized, a little bit on the thinner side, but you believed it would be enough to satisfy you once he learned to use it right. “such a pretty cock.” you praised; his ears turned red. “d-don’t say that.” you chuckled.

“but it is.” you ran your finger down the base of his length, he hissed, his cock twitching below your fingernail. “gonna jerk your pretty cock off, okay?” truth be told, you would love to fuck him, he looked so cute, and you were extremely horny, but you knew he wasn’t gonna last long, and you didn’t want him to feel self-conscious about cumming before you did. “w-what about you?” you wrapped your hand around his cock. “fu-fuck.” he cursed, surprising you both, he hardly used those words, unless he was really frustrated. “don’t worry about me love.” you began to stroke his cock slowly. “this is about you.”

his head was thrown back against the headboard, eyes sealed as you began to move your hand faster. “you’re doing so well for me, can you look at me please.” you cooed, he forced his eyes opened, making eye contact with your soft ones. “you feeling good?” you questioned, he moaned nodding. “i-it f-feels good, really g-good.”

“good that all that matters, you gonna cum?” he nodded, he could feel it, he wanted to last longer, but you were squeezing his base, and praising him – he could no longer hold it. “gonna cum.” you stroke him faster, his legs began to twitch, he could feel the cum filling up in his balls, ready to be released.

“i-i’m cu-cu…” he was speechless, he could barely get the words out before it was too late, white fluid came shoot out from his tip, getting everywhere, he came so much. it was all over your hands, some landing on your uncovered chest, on his shirt, even a little bit landed on your chin. “i-i’m sorry, i did–.” you kissed him. “so cute, you came so much.” you praised. “good boy.”

you cleaned yourself up, helping the boy clean himself up. “you feeling okay?” he shyly nodded. “th-thank you for that.” he spoke. “i’m sorry i couldn’t do the same for you.” he frowned, you grabbed his hand in reinsurance. “it’s fine anton, really we have all the time in the world to have sex okay?” you kissed his cheek. “o-okay.”

“good boy”

©️LUVYENI

[rklve]

RAINY DAYS | JEON JUNGKOOK - PART ONE

summary: your life choices left not only yours, but jungkook's heart broken in peaces. now you're back in town, and just like pluto, even if it's cold and dark, he tends to orbit around his sun forever.

➣ pairing: jk x f!reader

➣ genre/au: exes to lovers; angst; slow burn; fluff; smut (eventually).

➣ 3.4k words

warnings: e2l. oc broke koo's heart :( but she did not mean it. they both overthink too much. jk is such a pet dad (BAM IS HERE YAY). oc is a confused mess. mutual pining. cursing. a lot of angst (sorry!). jungkook is a simp, head over hells crazy about oc. fluff bc why not. tae is bitter asf but he's right on this one. jk is the best boy I WANT HIM!!!!!!!!!!

song inspo: rainy days — V

wish I knew how to find the way right back to you, on rainy days like

part one | part two | drabble one

“I can't take it anymore,” Jungkook says as he stumbles for the seventh time on his feet walking around the living room “I’m losing my mind, Bamie.”

The dog looks at his owner with his head pointed sideways as if he understands what he’s been sorrowing about for the past 10 minutes. The rain pours angrily outside the apartment, Jungkook sighs as he realizes talking to his big ass puppy won’t solve any of his problems.

“She’s like, 5 min away from us, Bam! I should text her, right?”

He looks over his phone again, your instagram story is open and a picture of a window full of raindrops is seen — he knows where you’re at, you’ve both been to that coffee shop over a hundred times for the past years now. Can’t remember the last time he’s been to that place ‘cause he couldn’t stand the thought of being there without you. Now he’s wondering, wondering, wondering. Wonders if you’re back for real this time. If you are alone. If you are thinking about him too. Wonders what would happen if he just replied your story right now.

@jeonjk97: heard it’s the best caramel macchiato in town 👍

No— that’s too lame. Quickly erases the message.

@jeonjk97: want a ride home? it’s pretty bad outside. 

Throws his phone on the sofa as he realizes he doesn’t know if you would accept his offer, doesn’t know if you’re sharing an apartment with Lola again either. Realizes he doesn’t know anything that’s been going on with you for a while now. More than what you let your 897 followers on Insta know too, at least. Blames himself for it, but knows it was for the best. Misses you like a fucker anyway.

“I should just call her.”

He picks up his phone, then also realizes he deleted your number months ago so he wouldn’t call you whenever his drunk ass thought it was the right thing to do. 

“For fucks sake, grow some balls, Jungkook” he whines angrily at the air purifier as if it is the source of his problems. “Okay, Taehyung will know what do.”

He calls his best friend quickly, and prays Taehyung picks up before he grabs his car keys and drives himself to the colorful little cafe at the end of the street. Remembers how much you loved that place and the cookies they served. One caramel macchiato with extra topping and two medium chocolate cookies. You always ordered the same thing. Every damn time. Said it was in you, to never let go of the things you loved. You let go of him anyway.

“Jungkook-ah! Why are you calling? I told you I can't go out—“ 

“She’s back in town.” He cuts Taehyung abruptly and suddenly the other line is mute as well. Probably doesn’t believe it’s happening just as Jungkook didn’t believe himself minutes ago. 

“Man, are you sure? Like, back for real?” he says, and Jungkook swears he can hear the disbelief in his tone from the other side. Yeah, he knows Taehyung is full of his late night calls to talk about you. Knows he is the one that’s been listening to it for months now —besides from his dobermann, of course— he’s the one who gets it, ‘cause he’s the only one who feels bitterly betrayed too. You were one of his best friends and yet, he didn’t knew your plans to move out from Busan as well. 

“Aish, I’m not sure hyung. But she posted a picture a little while ago at the cafe down the street.” he blurted out, “Can’t even think straight now, man. You think she’s back for the holidays?” 

Taehyung wondered for a little while. It was still August, Chuseok was weeks later. He didn’t say it out loud, but it wasn’t like you to drop work for so long, even if it was to visit your hometown. Nevertheless, he didn’t want Jungkook to get his hopes up. He knows how he is. Doesn’t want to see his friend’s heart breaking all over again.

“Mmm. Maybe, don’t know.” he sighed out loud “I thought we agreed to unfollow her after the second month.”

He hears Jungkook’s sad chuckle on the other side of the line, “Yeah, we did.” 

Taehyung knows Jungkook wouldn’t bring himself to do it tho, and now he just confirms it. Being a little bit more resentful than Jungkook gave him the motivation to do so, but it doesn’t mean he hasn’t been missin’ your ugly face. 

“Ok, so I need you to refresh my mind now. Tell me something so I won’t step outside that door right this second and make a fool of myself.” Jungkook continues to talk as if he’s been charged on 220W. And maybe he was. His heart has never beaten so fast for the past twelve months. His hair is all over the place from the countless times he grabbed it since he saw your photo. The tip of his fingers are tingling. Yeah, maybe he’s been electrocuted or something.

“Go.”

“What?” Jungkook says in disbelief. Doesn’t think he hears straight, ‘cause Taehyung would be the last one to say such a thing. 

“I said go, Jungkook.” he sighs for what it seems to be the tenth time on the phone call. “I know you need this. You haven’t been yourself for so long now. You two have to talk properly at some point.”

“Ay, how frustratin really—” he tsks.

“For real, man. Go. Now.” he firmly says “What’s the worst she can do, leave?” Jungkook senses the bitter words coming from Taehyung’s mouth. He knows he’s not mad at you, just hurt. Knows Taehyung would forgive you in a heartbeat if you said how sorry you were for everything that went thru. Wonders if he would forgive you that easily too. But he knows his friend is right. He needs closure. Needs this.

“Yeah. Right.” he bites his lips and looks around. Sees Bam looking at him, as if he’s expecting an action from him too. “I’ll talk to you later, bro. Thanks.”

He turns off the phone and grabs his car keys tightly. Yeah, he’s doing it. Won’t think too much, it’s better this way. He will get in the car, drive for 5 minutes. Enter the coffee shop. Order. Pretend he doesn’t know you’re there. Eventually look over the spot he knows you’re at, the same table over the corner where you two always used to sit together, by the large window. Grab the coffee and go over casually, ask how you’ve been. Offer you a ride home —to your parents, probably, since you moved out from your apartment on the neighborhood for a while now. Say it’s because of the rain, he knows you hate to ask for Ubers on the rain. Didn’t trust just anyone driving on bad weather. Such a smart girl. He misses the shit out of you. 

“Damn, ok. Pack it up, man.” 

He calls Bam to his house and watches as the dog quickly follow his lead, as if he knows Jungkook is too anxious to play around right now. “Dad will be back soon, okay? Behave.”

And so he checks out his hair one last time on the mirror at his bathroom and goes before he changes his mind.

The drive is pretty quick. It’s actually a route he does walking, but it’s still pouring rain so he’s carrying on. On a rainy day. To a coffee shop. To get a coffee he could have made at the comfort of his home with his own little coffee machine. But it’s okay, he will just play pretend for this time.

He stops the car and just realizes he forgot his umbrella. “Are you fucking serious, Jungkook?” 

Great. Brilliant. He feels so fucking dumb right now. 

Thankfully, due to the cold season he was wearing his black sweatshirt and sweatpants so the rain wouldn’t do so much damage. He quickly got off the car and ran inside the cafe. 

Surprisingly, it was full for a rainy night. Perhaps everyone had the usual thought; too lazy to make their own foods, they step out to grab something warm on the best coffee in the neighborhood. 

Jungkook plays the script on his head over and over again as he whipes his hair side to side like a fluffy dog to get rid of the water that soaked it a little bit. 

He looks ahead to the counter and his mind goes blank as he sees you over there now. At the little chair on the middle of the cafe. You seem lonely, messing with your hair a little bit, making a braid with a single tiny lock. It’s an old habit to make time pass, and Jungkook hates he remembers every little detail about you. His heart now has stopped, dropped to his knees. He really misses you. 

“Bee!” the waiter calls, and Jungkook recognizes the nickname. Knows it’s you, ‘cause he’s the one that gave it to you years ago. Used to call you bee just to make fun of you, ‘cause you’re such a sweet tooth. Never met someone that loves sugar more than you do, so he started to call you that since you two became friends.

He watches at the end of the waiting line as you get up, straight your hand and pick up two cookies in a little pink plate. Chocolate chips cookies. Your favorite. His favorite as well.

You start to eat slowly so he averts his eyes. Doesn’t want to be catch staring and look like a fucking weirdo. It’s not like he drove here to see you. Talk to you. Not at all, the coffee here is great. 

Finally the line walks and it’s his turn. “One black coffee, please. No sugar.” He says softly and suddenly feels his neck start to tingle. Knows you just realized he’s here, and you’re staring at him. Pretends he doesn’t tho, so continues to talk to the waitress as she asks who she would call when it’s ready “JK.” he says, then turns around to look for somewhere to sit and wait for the order. Looks over the table that you originally were, the one you posted a photo of. Then realizes now there’s a couple there, laughing together and taking pics of each other. He knows you. Knows you most likely offered the clingy couple the table, cause the house is full, and you wouldn’t take the table just for yourself. Even if it meant you would end up eating by the counter on the little puffed chair, you loved to drool over the pastries anyways.

He slowly looks the other way. Knows you’re on this direction so he has to be careful. You’re looking down. Seem sad all of the sudden and he just wants to hug you. For fucks sake. This is harder than he thought. 

He sighs again as he realizes the only spots available are the 2 chairs on your right. He chooses the one that’s a little bit far just to be safe.

As he walks down, his chest tightens a little bit more. Now he doesn’t know what he’s doing here. It was a bad idea. Doesn’t even remember what the plan was at the first place. 

He can smell your perfume as he walks past you and it’s like someone punches his stomach. Your sweet smell fills his nostrils and he just wants to be closer. Shove his nose on your hair like he used to. Then go down your neck and feel your skin respond with little goosebumps as he moves along it softly. Damn it. Jungkook wants to curse the life out of you but he can’t even bring himself to be mad right now. Only knows he misses you. Your touch. Your kiss. You.

Finally he sits and pretends as if he didn’t notice you there, continually looking over his phone as if it’s the most interesting thing in the world trying to figure out what to do next.

“JK!” The waitress calls him and he’s put out of his own world, looking up right away. You seem to be startled too as you look directly at him. You two look at each other for what seems to be minutes in a trance. You give him a tiny smile. He gives one back.

“JK!” he hears the call again and pulls himself out of the trance, going to grab the coffee from the waitress who’s on your left side. He pays for it and looks at you again. You’re still looking at him. Kinda unsure on how to act, he figures. It’s okay, cause he doesn’t know how to either. 

As he sits, now on the chair closer to your right, he looks straight ahead and takes a gulp of the coffee. “Fuck!” he curses and pulls the coffee cup away as he burns his tongue with the damn thing.

You laugh thru your nose and his ears rapidly catch the sweet sound he used to hear all the time. Looks sideways to you, “Funny, huh?” he feels the air a little bit less heavy now, and he’s relieved.

“You just never change, Koo.” you say, still with that damn smile on your face he adores so much. He can’t take his eyes off of you. Realizes he never got over you, not even for a second. Probably never will.

“Don’t call me that.” those damned butterflies on his guts as he digests what you’ve said. You know it’s his favorite nickname. Knows only you call him by it. Knows he melts alway with this shit everytime.

You’re staring at him like that. So pretty. Soft brown sparkly eyes he missed so much. Now they seem to start hardening. “I’m sorry.” You say with a broken voice, and he feels the air shift all over again in a matter of seconds. Doesn’t know if you’re apologizing for the sweet nickname. For leaving him. For not calling. For not coming back. For everything. 

“How’s everything?” He tries to ease the air back again. “It’s been a minute.”

He sees the corner of your lips tremble a little bit and you gulp. His chest pangs. Wonders if he did the right thing by pretending you never existed for the past months now. Just wants to make up for all the time both of you lost.

“Yup, it has.” You reply after a while. “I’m doing okay. What about you?” 

You look up at him like everything is okay. If he didn’t know you, he would believe you were. But he knows better. You can’t hide anything from him, really. At least that’s what he thought. Knows he could be wrong, just like he was a year ago too.

“Cool. I’m cool.” he licks his dry lips and starts to think about his next move. Mind starts to blow up, a trillion thoughts at the same time and he’s back at it again. Can’t put his neurons to work properly. You’re actually right here in front of him, how is he supposed to?

Seems like you’re struggling yourself too. He doesn’t know if you’re trying to come up with an excuse to leave right now, or trying to find a subject in common as well.

 You stare at your now half eaten cookie like it’s the most valuable thing in the world. The other one is already on the bag to go. You probably were planning on taking home to eat when the late night sweet crave hits you, like he remembers. Will put it on the microwave so it gets warm again and take a cup of milk with you, like you used to. Turn on netflix and watch one of those lame cooking programs, ‘cause you loved to waste your time watching people losing their heads to make giant chocolate sculptures. He secretly loved watching it with you. It’s the reason he watched every episode back and forth while you were away too.  

“Is Bamie okay?” you murmur, now staring at your coffee cup with a little smile, thinking about the little puppy. Remembers how energetic and loving he was. Just like Jungkook. “You haven’t posted him in a while now.”

His tongue feels bittersweet again. He’s somehow happy knowing that you’ve been catching up with his life throught social media, even tho he disappears once in a while. At the same time, he’s sad. You could have been there for Bam. Should have, since you are the one who came up with the idea in the first place. Said he needed a little friend to match up with his chaotic energy. He ended up convinced and adopted the little guy. You always tended to get the best of him. Promised you’d help him to take good care of the baby, but only spent three months with Bam. Still, it’s like the puppy knows something is missing. Every night he looks over the door at any noise, like he’s expecting you to come throught it. Just like Jungkook used to do for the first months back then. 

“He’s great, actually. Bigger than I expected him to be. Eats like a fucking bear.” he giggles a little remembering his big boy. “He’s loud too. Don’t know how the neighbors still haven’t ganged up against me to kick us out of the apartment.”

You giggle alongside him imagining the chaos those two must have been doing together. “I figured. You always have spoiled him too much. Told ya he would get bad habits.”

“Hey! You spoiled him too!” he throws it right back. Remembers how you used to let Bam sleep with the two of you on bed. It took him months to break that habit from the puppy’s routine.

You look up at him and smiles. Bright now. You know he’s right. You’ve treated that puppy like it was your own son. Kinda misses the three of you together like a big happy family.

Suddenly a loud thunder is heard and both of you look out the foggy window at the same time. The sky is even darker now, angrily pouring rain like it’s the end of the earth. The coffee shop is emptier. Everyone outside your bubble must’ve realized that it was no longer safe to be out in the streets. But here you two are. Letting time pass by, enjoying each others presence even if it’s kinda weird. Kinda sad after all these months apart.

Jungkook knows it’s time to act. Step up and do what he was planning since he left home. Can’t bring himself to. Is too scared you will say no. Too scared you will let him down again. 

“I think I should get going.” you say softly wrapping up what is left of the cookie and putting it on your bag over the counter. “The weather is getting worst.”

“Want a ride home?” Jungkook quickly says before he looses the sudden courage. Sees you're taken aback so he continues, “I know you won’t be able to catch an uber or taxi right now.”

You still wonder a little bit. Jungkook’s anxiety is bubbling up again as he waits your answer. Why can’t you accept a simple offer? You can’t stand the thought of being around him? Do you hate him? Perhaps you don’t want him in your life ever again. You want to stay like this. Just be somebody that he used to know.

And that’s what scares him the most.

“I brought an umbrella” you finally say. Jungkook frowns. Knows you have no umbrella with you, he would’ve seen it by now.

He puffs. Knows it’s bullshit, but won’t call it. “Right. Suit yourself.” Then he gets up, forgets his full coffee by the counter, now cold. He feels fucking cold too. Already regrets coming to this stupid cafe, in this stupid weather, for no stupid reason. He takes his sweatshirt off and puts it over his head so the rain won’t get to him this time. Opens the door.

“Jungkook! Wait!” you suddenly say. “I actually didn’t.” you say pouty, coming up to him.

He doesn’t say anything. Just takes his sweatshirt, puts it over your head instead. He was wearing his taegeuk warriors jersey underneath it, will definitely get soacked but can’t bring himself to care at all. Just cares about you. Holds the glass door for you just like old times. You look up at him with your big doll eyes and he can’t do anything but look back. It’s like you want to talk through them. He wonders what’s going through your pretty little head right now. Probably overthinking too much, just like he does. 

“C’mon," he softly says "Let’s get you home.”

yayyy there it goes! my first ff ever i'm so happy <3 this was supposed to be an oneshot but i got carried away and wrote more than i expected so i had to cut it off hehe

also, please be aware that english is not my native language so i’m sorry if there’s any typos 🥹

i'll upload part 2 soon! if you want to be tagged pls comment under the post :) thanks for reading xx

[hopelessromantic5]

Arthur isn’t exactly stealthy when he sees something he likes.

Those who had known Arthur for most of his life also know that when something captures his attention, that’s it.

It takes over everything.

First, at five, it was horse back riding. He would spend all day in the stables, learning everything he could about the majestic beasts. He would ride as often as his father allowed.

Then when he joined the official knights in training at eight summers, he became thirsty for success. He wanted to be the best, unbeatable.

And so, he was. He became a well sharpened blade neatly tucked into his father’s arsenal.

Nothing came close to his love for a sword until he was thirteen, and he met a girl named Druella. Dru was the younger sister of one of Arthur’s fellow knights, yet still a few years ahead of him.

He would watch her walk to and from town, every day, thinking how beautiful she looked in her finery, how her hair was always perfect, never one out of place.

This love lasted the least amount of time, because while Arthur claimed to himself that he loved her, he’d never actually spoken to her.

When he finally got up the nerve to introduce himself, and she did nothing but sneer at him and walk away, he finally let his silly little crush rest in the dirt under his riding boots.

Years went by. The citizens of Camelot and especially the staff of the castle, continued to watch Arthur grow and mature and come into his own thoughts. His own beliefs.

Still, dancing with his sword held the biggest place in his heart.

That was until a fateful day in beautiful spring time.

There were some familiar faces in the square that day, watching on as a boy intervened with the Prince’s ridiculous bullying.

First, they were thankful for it.

And then they all witnessed the moment Prince Arthur laid eyes on this boy, and that was it.

They’d seen it before, and this was no different.

Arthur Pendragon had found a new obsession.

Uther didn’t know what he was signing the entire kingdom up for when he bestowed Merlin with such a privilege as being the prince’s manservant. He probably thought nothing on it, as often as Arthur fired manservants, surely this one will be gone faster than the others.

Boy, was he mistaken.

Arthur lied to himself about it for some time. Acting as if his servant was the worst he’d ever seen, or how he hated to have to show this boy how to do something simple.

What betrayed him were his eyes, they followed Merlin everywhere in the room. Watching him do every task, standing to aid when it was needed, even if it came with a huff of exasperation for show.

Everyone could see it. Hell, even Leon caught onto it. The only people who had yet to realize were the prince himself, and the boy. Merlin. He was as oblivious to Arthur’s eyes as Arthur was to Merlin’s sickeningly sweet face when the prince’s back was turned.

Merlin was usually very observant.

But when it came to Arthur, he had a blind spot.

Perhaps this is why Arthur found out the big secret a few weeks after Merlin arrived in Camelot.

He’d made a habit of entering his room quietly, so he might see Merlin without being seen himself. Though, Arthur doesn’t acknowledge that’s the reason, it definitely is.

This particular day, practice ended early on account of the storm rolling in. Tiny drops of water were already covering the ground, packing the dirt into stone.

As he silently entered his own chambers, he heard humming. Knowing it must be Merlin. Who else would be in his room humming?

The Prince stayed partially hidden by the chest of drawers nearest the door. Merlin was putting tunics away in the cupboard. His hands were gentle with them, like they were precious. Even if he did it in a bit of a hurry, seemingly.

Merlin must’ve felt a draft or remembered the rain, because he stopped his humming turning to the fire place, and without lifting a single finger or uttering a word, he lights the fire.

By looking at it.

Arthur first thought his sight deceived him but there was no denying that he’d just seen Merlin’s eyes turn gold. A blinding golden light that can only come from something divine.

The Prince tries to even out his breathing so as not to give away his presence. It’s not that he’s fearful, merely caught off guard, which he tried never to be. Arthur was almost a grown man, and he’d met people in his time that told him he could be different than Uther. He could rule a different Kingdom.

And maybe that all starts with this strange boy that fell from the sky into Arthur’s world.

The Prince had hardly seen Merlin do anything with that kind of skill or confidence. Arthur had been around enough dark sorcerers to know that even the powerful ones need words, crystals, a big book with lots of words he can’t read.

Merlin had done this like it was nothing.

Just how powerful was he?

[certifiedwhore4slashers]

Chase

Part 1

pairing: ethan landry x fem!reader

warnings: yandere themes and behavior, obsession, possessiveness, toxicity, murder, blood, gore, etc…

SCREAM VI SPOILERS!! I’m warning you right now in case you haven’t seen the movie. Also should I write for him more?

taglist: @liyahsocorro @astarborntowrite

You somehow managed to run once more, However, this time, You were confident he was far behind you. You stepped in the elevator. You were definifely telling the others who Ghostface was. One of them, anyways.

You inhale, then exhale, You shouldn't worry. You got rid of him, right? Well, you went through this before. He was never fully gone. While you were on the elevator, You call Police about your boyfriend.

However, once you entered the lobby, you could hear footsteps, Not looking behind you, you exit the building. You were outside. People could witness you. Could help you.

Life or Death Scenario.

He promised he wouldn't hurt you, but who could really believe him? Not you. He murdered your boyfriend simply because he was your boyfriend.

Your best friend, betrayed you. You wondered if he had been playing a façade. Maybe, this was who he really is. Because why would he be Ghostface? He has to have a motive, right? Well, besides the fact he was in apparently obsessed with you. Hence why he never killed you.

You didn't even know where you were going, You knew where your apartment was. Suddenly, the footsteps grew closer. You gulp, before running further.

Behind you, He was there. For some reason, Never giving up. Even if you rejected him. You just needed to keep running. In hopes he would stop for now.

Sadly for you, He doesn't give up easily. You needed to find someone who could help, quick. Your friends, Maybe. But you left your phone. You would eventually tell them one of their close friends was really Ghostface, well one of them. You would figure out the others on your own.

"I like a chase."

You were doomed, weren't you? You were growing tired from running. You'd have to eventually stop. Which You though you were safe, stopping so you could gain your energy back. Dumb Move of you to do.

You feel yourself being pulled into someone's chest, feeling the clothing, You knew who it was. He wrapped his arms around your waist strongly, in order to prevent you from leaving.

He must've taken his mask off, because he said, "You can't tell anybody, Y/N. If you do, You'll regret it." He held his knife on your throat, not so he could hurt you, but so he could scare you. You knew he could feel how scared you were.

You whimper. "I won't, I promise." "Good, He replied."I meant my word on not hurting you, Y/n." Ethan still held you tightly, so you really couldn't go anywhere.

"I... You begin. "I don't believe you." He smirks. "You don't? What a shame. Why would I ever hurt you, y/n? I love you." "You killed the guy I love! You yell. "You're mine, Y/N, Ethan said possessively.

You missed when he was sweet, Kind, who seemed happy you found someone who loved you. But he probably never liked your boyfriend to begin with.

"this isn't love! you argued. "you're obsessed. big difference." When you heard sirens, you knew they arrived. they would find your boyfriend's body. You would be found. You would tell them. He sighed."I love you, You can go. For now." You blinked a few times but bolted when you could.

Stupidly, You went home. Of course you did. There, the Police were waiting. More specifically Detective Bailey, Father of Quinn. They asked you questions but you were proven innocent.

You wondered if they’d ever catch Ethan, the other ghostfaces too. You knew there were more. That’s when you decided on going to your friend’s. He didn’t live too far from you.

And it probably would be a dumb idea but you couldn’t be by yourself. You ring up your friend. You didn't want him to think You would be telling Tara, Chad, Sam, Mindy, or her girlfriend, Anika.

You only met Ethan through Chad, being roomies and everything. "Pick up, You murmur. You had been friends with Kyle since childhood. You could trust him. You smile when he picks up. "Y/N? Is everything okay? Kyle said, concern in his voice.

"No... You said, kind of freaked out. "Could You come pick me up? I don't feel like being by myself tonight." "Of course, He replies. "On my way."

Kyle hung with your friends sometimes, who often teased how whipped he was for you, but during this, you had your boyfriend. But you didn't believe them. You knew Kyle your whole life, He moved from Woodsboro so you could keep your friends close.

You could see his car and quickly get in. "Y/n, What happened? Kyle asked. "Ghostface, You said. "Oh My god, I'm so sorry, Kyle replies, stopping for a second so he could hug you.

"Thanks for letting me stay over, You smile, entering his apartment, when it began raining. "Of course, feel free to stay as long as you'd like, Kyle smiles, closing his door. You nodded.

Rain came down quick. You were lucky you didn't stay outside longer. “I’ll make you something to eat, Kyle said, going in the kitchen. “Okay, You smile, sitting on the couch.

You hear your phone ring, You see who is calling you, Instead of being dumb, You ignore. You knew someone would be hurt if you continue answering unknown numbers.

Until the number began messaging you.

What a shame your friend will have to go.

Your eyes widen, hearing Kyle hum while cooking. Unsure of your choices, You respond.

No, Please. Don't hurt him. I'll do anything.

Too late. Like I said, You're mine. Nobody else's. Including your friend, who obviously loves you.

You were more angry knowing he knew Kyle and his name, Yet chose to call him your friend. "Kyle! You exclaimed. "Hm? He said, coming in with your food.

"Ghostface is coming for you! You warn him, your eyes widen when you see not one but two killers. He turns around, before being stabbed, He fell. You help him up. "You okay?" "Mhm, Kyle groaned."I could run still. I've only been stabbed once."

One of fhe Ghostfaces lunged forward, Making sure Kyle didn’t get away. “No! You yell, trying to get the killer off of him as he stabbed him. Blood on the mask and knife. You managed to somehow pull Ghostface off.

“Kyle! Run! Or try to! You yell. “I can’t leave you! He says. “I’ll meet you outside. I can handle them.” He nods. But not for himself but for you. Kyle trusts you and he’s the most selfless person you’ve ever met.

“Call 911! You added. He nods leaving with his phone. You encounter Ethan again as he takes off his mask. “You shouldn’t have done that, He says, his voice darker and different somehow.

“Who’s your friend? You say, boldly. Ethan smirks.”My father.” You were puzzled but more so shocked when you saw Detective Bailey.

“What? He’s your father? And Detective Bailey? You say. "Why?” “We have to finish the movie that he was making, Detective Bailey smirks. “Huh? You say still confused.

“Richie was my brother, Y/n, Ethan said. "And then you just had to make me fall in love with you.” “I didn’t do anything, You say. "Now let me go. I promised Kyle-“

“Shut up about him, Ethan said.”But that was really stupid of you to leave him outside.” “What! Is there more of you? You say. You rush over and see another Ghostface continuously stabbing Kyle over and over who was now dead and you could see his insides.

You didn’t know if it was that graphic scene or everything around you ringing because your vision cut to black.

[shadamyheadcanons]

Do you have any ideas for how Shadow and Amy’s relationship would change if Sonic had managed to get Shadow back on the ark in SA2? I’m working on my own little self-indulgent fic myself, but I’d be curious to hear your thoughts.

Interesting thought! See, this is a tricky one for me because they canonically act like his brush with death never happened, which is super weird.

There should have been a scene on the ARK where Amy was really upset and possibly even cried after it happened, maybe blaming herself for encouraging him.

There should have been a scene in Sonic Heroes where she latched onto him and gushed about how relieved she was to see him alive while he just stared at her like “???” because he still had amnesia.

She should have been the one to reach out and befriend him, and he should have accepted; not only does she remind him of his late best friend, but she’s seen him at his most murderous and still supported him unconditionally.

She should be even clingier with him than she is with her other friends after what happened. She should have been right with him all throughout Shadow the Hedgehog (2005), guiding him and keeping an eye on him the way one would expect given her personality.

And...maybe this is controversial, buuuuut...it’s always felt a little arbitrary to me that he wound up spending a ton of time with Rouge and Omega and basically none with Amy.

I’m not saying I have a problem with Team Dark. I adore their dynamic and I’m glad he has them, but it kind of feels like they just happened to be there. Sure, he got along with Rouge alright for much of SA2, but she seriously hurt him by spying on him--something she’s never apologized for, as far as I know--and she left him behind to help the others get to the Cannon’s Core.

And that, I think, is where the biggest difference would be.

Shadow isn’t the forgiving type. By the time he’d regained his memories in canon and remembered how she’d betrayed his trust, she’d proven in the interim that she’s ultimately a good and loyal friend. If she hadn’t had that chance, I don’t think she could’ve gotten her foot in the door so easily. And if Shadow hadn’t fallen, he wouldn’t have been picked up by Eggman, so he wouldn’t have met Omega. In fact, I’d go even further than that. Team Dark’s opening cutscene in Sonic Heroes implies that Omega’s there strictly to guard Shadow. Not only that, but I’ve always gotten the impression that that’s why Omega was created in the first place. Mephiles all but confirms this in Sonic 06 by pointing out Omega is perfectly built to defeat and capture Shadow.

“This only proves you were created to stop Shadow, the ultimate life form. Don’t tell you didn’t know.”

So Omega would probably never have been built, at least not in his current form :(

With our favorite murder robot out of the picture and Shadow not trusting Rouge, Team Dark would be kaput, and Shadow really needs someone who’ll reach out to him.

And we all know it would be Amy, right?

It’s not even conjecture. In Sonic Battle, she eagerly seeks him out, even getting irritated when Rouge keeps her away:

On top of that, Amy latches onto Shadow because he’s a hero. I’ve pointed this out before, but the second Shadow becomes the protagonist in ShTH, she’s smitten with him...

...and the same happens in IDW issue 59:

And we can’t leave out The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog:

The social media team gets it.

She’s got a subtle little crush on him already imo even with the few interactions they have. If Amy spent lots of time with Shadow, that little crush could grow to rival another crush of hers ;)

As for Shadow, if she’d reached out to him right away without the time gap from his amnesia, I think his feelings for her--romantic or otherwise--would have been fostered and allowed to grow, fueled by his gratitude. She changed his entire life and would have introduced positivity and companionship into his world. You can’t not feel strongly about someone who does that for you.

Fandom-wise, Shadamy is already extremely popular considering how little time they’ve spent together in canon. It’s the third most popular game ship on AO3, only beaten by Sonamy and Sonadow.

There are more fics for Shadamy than Knuxouge. That’s kind of ridiculous, right?! Shadow and Amy have maybe ten minutes of screentime together! I also think Shadow might have gotten along better with Sonic if he’d gone right from saving the world with him to becoming one of Amy’s favorite people, so I’m willing to bet Sonamyshad would’ve skyrocketed in popularity, too. Not my cup of tea, but I know a lot of other fans like it.

Or...more interestingly...Shadow could’ve been really pissed once he saw up close and personal just how often Sonic ran away from Amy. The Dark Era right after SA2 was when it was worst, too. I imagine Shadow would be furious if he knew the full extent of how badly his favorite hedgehog was being treated. He could have been a godsend for her. You think he’d have put up with this if he’d seen it?

(Tangentially, I think it’s weird that Knuckles was fine with this stuff. I think of him and Amy as sibling-adjacent at times, but sometimes I feel like I have to fudge some details to make it work.)

And how many times did Sonic hurt her or make her cry back in the day?

Shadow’s punched Sonic for less than that. He’s way too loyal to sit there and watch while someone hurts his sweet, kindhearted best friend.

People think of Amy as the clingiest Sonic character, but I 100% believe Shadow rivals her in that respect. I really do. He nearly destroyed the Earth for a friend he knew for less than a year. He latched onto Team Dark like a security blanket the second he was dropped on their doorstep. He would have done the same for Amy, and she really could have benefited from that loyalty. Amy lashed out in that era because of frustration and insecurity from being repeatedly snubbed by her favorite person. I honestly think someone stable and steadfast like Shadow was exactly who she needed. He really could have turned her life around and gotten her the respect she deserved, either by standing up for her or proving to her that she deserved better.

And I definitely think he could have dealt with the Black Arms’ invasion much better if he’d had Amy to help guide him through it. She’s reminded him of who he is before. The Miracle of Love ending proves without a doubt that she could do it again.

It would have been great for both of them. I’m sad Sega never let them have that.

Also, Shadow standing up for Amy and later dating her would make this weird scene from Archie #149 absolutely hilarious:

Granted, that applies to shadamy in general.

Ken Penders & Friends: “Ha, wouldn’t it be hilarious if we had Sonic make a skeevy, totally age-appropriate comment in our kids’ comic about Shadow ‘finding a girl?’”

Shadow: “I found Amy Rose”

Sega: “THAT’S NOT FUNNY”

Sonic: “Idk, I think it’s kinda funny :) ”

Penders: “I have never played a Sonic game”

[cherry-blossomtea]

I love Horn as a character so much because of how completely totally clinically insane she is but she’s so good at hiding it that you’d never know unless you thought to look. And I think a lot of people overlook that in favor of “angry lady who explodes things” which is absolutely an accurate characterization but like.

Rita could have absolutely been a nepo baby, she’s like a countess or some shit, the Skamandroses are old Victorian money but in the fashion of her family name said “Nah fuck that” and joined the army until she earned her place into an elite squadron as a commander no less. Beloved and trusted by her platoon whom she gave everything she possibly had and it was her life. I think for her, being a soldier was what she could do. She was drawn to the structure of it, even if she didn’t necessarily think so highly of the institution. She wanted to fight and so she went to war teeth bared.

She adheres strictly to discipline and rules and order and she finds comfort in the routine and orderly. If something doesn’t fit into the boxes she knows she will make it fit or discard it. Her values are nigh unshakeable, but it is…interesting to see what she actually values. Protecting those who cannot defend themselves, fighting for the people she knows and loves, desperately trying to rein in the chaos she stumbles through as Victoria eats itself alive. I think growing up as the daughter of a count gave her that insight—Victoria, the empire, isn’t something worth defending. She would have been privy to the political upheaval and grown up alongside the coup that overthrew the Steam Knights and the monarchy. So of course she doesn’t fight for king or country. But fighting to maintain order, to halt corruption, to save the lives of individuals? That she can do. “For the greater good” is anathema to the paradigm that guides her life.

Of course, she has lost control of herself. Bagpipe mentions her interrogating a serial bomber and being so violent she left marks the imprisonment device (likely similar to the ones we see in Mansfield). Her files mention her family’s originium arts grant them combat prowess, at the the expense of their own selves, and it’s something she’s tapped into again and again.

And then the fucking County Hillock incident happened.

In the span of 24 hours she loses her friends one by one and is betrayed by her superiors. So now you’re looking at this kamikazee of a woman who is fueled by rage and vengeance alone because they took everything else that kept her going—her squadron, her friends, her faith in the Victorian army, her faith in her ideals. The only thing left to her was screaming in fury as she literally destroyed her own body in an attempt to get revenge. If she had her way, she would have gone down in that fight and been another name on that memorial. She sent Bagpipe away so that at least there was something left because god knew it wasn’t about to be her. At what point was it even about honor or some bullshit everyone else around her seemed to have abandoned? It wasn’t about deservedness or justice or righteousness. It was just ‘the army and Dublinn killed her squadmates Mandragora killed Cello’ and someone was going to pay.

She truly didn’t expect to survive and to her it was probably crueler that she did.

[livfastdieyoung69]

Mjf x reader

Angst with comfort with the prompt “shh, it’s okay. I’m here”

Gnawing at my enclosure bars i loce angst

BOUND BY BETRAYAL

The day hadn’t felt right. Hell, the month hadn’t felt right. You chalked it up to being nervous for Max with his title match and all, but the feeling in your gut told you otherwise. You would’ve told Max, but you didn’t want to make him any more stressed. Plus you were secluded to your own little locker room to get ready, not even a TV to watch along with the rest of the arena so you hadn’t really been able to see him very much.

Shortly after your match, which was successfully won, you’d made your way back to the dingy locker room after giving Max a visit to celebrate your win and of course, wish him good luck. Growing a little bored in the small room you move to open the door and just wander around, maybe say hi to a couple people before making your way to the guerrilla to watch Max’s match. But the door wouldn’t open. There’s no lock, and even if there was you hadn’t locked it. What the hell? You’re quick to start banging on the door, practically trying to rip the door handle off.

“Hello? Hey, I’m locked in here! Hey, someone help!” You yell, hoping someone can hear you through the thick wooden door. After way too long, a staff member finally reaches you and lets you know the door is jammed, unable to open from either side and they would have to call the local fire department to get you out. That was frustrating enough, but so was how long you would have to wait considering it wasn’t exactly an emergency. You’d probably miss Max’s match.

That sucked. Like really fucking sucked.

Stuck in the dumb little room and forced to communicate with a couple staff members through the door, who also couldn’t give you any updates on MJF’s match considering they were stuck in the hallway, ‘helping you’. After about 45 minutes a couple firefighters are able to make their way to the arena and help you out. Storming out of the room with a sigh of relief, thankful for some sort of fresh air. A different staff member rushes down the hall, she’d been tasked with figuring out who had done this- after they realized someone had jammed a couple of used gift cards and some paper towel around the knob of the door, it became pretty obvious you were set up.

“Any news?” You ask, looking over to her. She looked worried, a little sad. Like she held pity.

”I got a hold of the footage. It-it was Wardlow and The Kingdom.” She spoke, like it was some big deal. It wasn’t that big of a deal, those guys hated Max and Max hated them, so obviously whenever you were stuck in the presence of any of them, you made their life a living hell. Sometimes it was repaid.

”Ugh, god I hate those guys! I should’ve figured, those assholes. I better hurry and make it to the guerrilla , at least I’ll be able to see the end of his match.” You’re quick to start in your journey through the backstage.

”Um,” The staff member calls your name timidly. You quick walk starts to slow, but you don’t face them. The feeling that had been in your gut grew. “Adam Cole was with them.”

You’re not sure how to respond to that at first. Max had gone through a lot. He’d been betrayed countless times, and even if that helped mold him into the asshole you loved wholeheartedly, it hurt him endlessly. After so long of holding trust in no one, he finally had you. Then, after even longer, he had Adam. You had Adam.

This hurt.

Adam had no right, to do this to either of you, after gaining so much of your trust for so long. The grief of your friendship quickly turns into anger from the betrayal. Had you even been friends at all?

”…What?”

“Those guys and-and uh, Joe were teaming up on him while you were stuck, he....he lost the championship.” She rushed out, practically shaking with fear. “He wouldn’t talk to anyone or anything, he just walked to his locker room and won’t let anyone in.”

”Well where the fuck is that at?” You practically yell at the poor girl. You’ll apologize some other time. Maybe. She only points down the hall, unable to get any words out, and you start running- like really, sprinting- down the halls. You shove your way through your fellow superstars, shouting at them to move, definitely receiving a lot of looks.

Finally finding the door brandished with ‘MJF’, you throw it open. He doesn’t even look over, trapped in his head, and with good reason to be. He’s still in his ring gear, reminance of sweat obvious in his hair, matted inches covering the face that lays in his hands.

“Oh, baby,” Your words make him finally look up, his expression enough to show how he feels from across the room. You’re quick to make your way over to him, knees falling to the bench on either side of his thighs. “I’m here. I’m here, we’re okay.” You gently take his head in your hands and hug him close as you take a seat against his legs.

“Oh my god, Max, I’m so sorry- I don’t- I-“ You can’t seem to find the words, and clearly neither can he, he still hasn’t spoken a word, only closed his eyes in your hold and held you closer, tighter, than it feels like he ever has.

“Did you see the medics?” You asked him in a murmur after a while of silence, his head shaking no against the blade of your shoulder. One of your hands tries its best in petting through his matted hair.

”M’kay. Why don’t we go do that first?” His grip only strengthens against you, forcing you further into his lap.

“Don’t leave.” He breaks his silence, voice course and sorrowful against you. The hand combing through his hair stops, instead planting itself in his thick roots. It seems like he means a lot more than just leaving the room to grab a medic.

“Never.” You whisper back, laying your cheek against the top of his head. “Wanna take a shower first instead? You’re a little stinky.” Trying to bring his mood up a bit with a little joke, even if you didn’t feel very good either seemed to be the right thing to do. He nodded, and you can feel the small smile against your skin.

After holding him for a bit more, you crawl up from his lap and help him up from the wooden bench, holding half of his weight to the shower. After a bit of difficulty, you both just give up in trying to have him stand under the shower and instead the both of you just sit under the running shower together, Max leaning against you.

You helped him wash his body, then his hair, sitting under the hot, streaming water in comfortable silence. Then you simply sit together, running your fingers up and down his biceps even tracing his lion tattoo a couple times.

“I lost the belt.”

Max broke the silence, the hollowness in his voice echoing through the shower walls. He refused to look at you, only staring forward with the grief you held earlier.

”I lost Adam.”

His voice broke as he spoke his time.

”No. No, no, baby, no.” You rushed, pulling him further into you. “He lost you. He made you lose that belt, made you think he was a good person. Put it in your head that you were friends, that you were allowed to put your trust into him. He lost you.”

“Shouldn’t have fallen for it again.”

“You can’t stop your heart from wanting what it wants, sweetheart. How do you think this happened, hm? Cause I love you. And you love me, right?” He nodded his head, thick fingers moving down to grab yours. ”And you love Adam.” His hand stops, reluctant to admit it.

“You do, baby, its okay. I love him too. But he doesn’t love us and that’s how this turned out this way. Love will rip you to hell and back in that way, but we’re gonna be just fine. I’d have to say our love is a lot greater for each other than it is for Adam. I’d like to think so.” His small smile from earlier returned.

“I’m gonna take that as a yes.” Your fingers squeeze around his. “But that doesn’t mean your not allowed to hurt. You are, and I’ll be right here to help, ‘cause I love you.” The two of you return to silence, this time a bit happier after your little speech. Max reaches up with a grimace, moving to turn the water off.

“Let’s get the hell out of here. Your hands are going wrinkly and it's gross.” He tries to haul himself up from the floor to the bench with great effort as he mumbles, his sass quick to make a return.

”God, you’re such a bitch.” You speak with a grin, grabbing his face in a big wet kiss while you wrap a towel around him. “No wonder we can’t make any friends, hm?”

Is this….a certified banger perchance?? Fr dont know this took pretty long and I’m sick of this so I’m not reading it again lolll anyways enjoy ig

Maxwell Jacob Friedman is miss you get your ass back on tv

[gepardling]

late bloomer II w/ gepard.

desc. : Ain't no way that I'm projecting, look me in the eyes and tell me he wouldn't be an emotional wreck before he managed to ask you out (wc : 2.1k)

tags / cw : sfw, afab!reader, use of she/her pronouns, just fluff, more of Gepard's emotional well-being, he actually asks you out in this one, edited post-release

index : part I

Gepard's newfound infatuation had taken hold of him like a whirlwind, sweeping him into a realm of emotions he had never experienced before. He found himself working less overtime, opting to spend his free time cooking or tending to flowers instead of training. Somehow, he even managed to keep his plants alive this time, but it was probably because of him actually watering them instead of disappearing for nights on end to work. Still, he liked to think the meaning was deeper than that. 

Despite his growing fondness for his hobbies, intrusive thoughts of the girl he had met wormed their way into his mind. Gepard wasn't as secretive about his crush as he had thought he was either, and nearly every one of his soldiers could tell that something was up with the Captain. His usually steady hands shook ever so slightly, betraying the storm of butterflies that fluttered about his heart. He seemed to have a permanent flush dusted across his ears, often heard humming to himself in his office when he thinks he's alone. His leg even continued to bounce in annoyance while he rushed to finish his paperwork. Everyone knew that something (or rather, someone) had captured the Captain’s heart, even if he didn't openly confess to it himself. 

He’d caught glimpses of her a few times since their accidental encounter, witnessing her traversing to and from Qlipoth Fort. With each passing sighting, the bandage on her head grew smaller, and the memory of their first meeting began to fade into the recesses of his mind. Yet, despite his longing to speak to her, Gepard found himself paralyzed by a suffocating shyness that consumed him from within. He couldn’t help but gaze wistfully while the butterflies and rose petals consumed his guts from the inside.

It was almost sickening, how lovestruck the poor boy had become, but he couldn't shake the grip it had on him. But Gepard's fear stemmed from the awkwardness of their initial encounter. He dreaded the possibility that his mere presence would reignite those uncomfortable feelings, further solidifying him as an intimidating figure in her eyes. Except, the way he stared her down from a distance didn’t help one bit, and she was fully aware of his piercing gaze on the back of her head. 

Lost in his confusion and yearning, Gepard found himself seeking solace once again at the Neverwinter workshop. The fear of losing his own sanity pushed him to visit his sister's sanctuary after work, oblivious to the curious glances he received as he marched through town with a purposeful stride that bordered on madness. But who could blame him? His once orderly life had been turned on its head by a chance encounter with a girl. As he entered the workshop, he hastily shut the door behind him, having piqued the interest of Serval stationed behind the counter.

"Oh? And what's got you in such a hurry, brother dearest?" She inquired, a hint of mischief laced in her tone. Serval sets down her tools, raising an eyebrow at Gepard's continued silence. While he looked confident on the outside, he was melting down inside. It took him a minute to swallow the lump in his throat before he could speak, his voice trembling slightly. 

"It's her," he admitted, awkwardly clearing his throat before continuing, "The girl I told you about, I can't stop thinking about her…" Gepard sighed heavily in defeat, and the warmth creeping up his neck at his embarrassing revelation urged him to tug at his collar. Suddenly, his shoes seemed very interesting to him. 

Serval’s eyes widened momentarily, before a knowing grin spread across her lips, "Ah, the mysterious girl who shook the unshakeable Captain. You've been thinking of her all this time?" 

Gepard nodded, blush creeping higher up his cheeks. "I've been considering, well… Talking to her again. But it's not easy for me, you know that." 

Serval’s expression brightened. "You should know better than to doubt yourself like that," she chirped, making her way around the counter to stand in front of him. "You can do it, Gepard. You talk to people all the time! Just don’t treat her like a fugitive and you’ll be fine," she assured, hand playfully mussing up his hair.

"Thanks…" he uttered, gently swiping her hand away. “You don’t always have to treat me like a kid, you know…”

“Yeah…” Serval sighed, a cheeky little smile playing upon her lips, “But other big sisters got to tease their little brothers about their crushes too, so it’s my turn now.” She chuckled, placing both hands on her hips, “Tell you what, next time you see her? Just go talk to her. Don’t even think about it.”

Gepard let out an internal sigh as he bid farewell to his sister and stepped out of the workshop. He couldn't help but find Serval's advice both frustrating and thought-provoking. Deep down, he knew she was right. Perhaps he was overcomplicating matters with his hesitation. Walking through the bustling streets of the town, he allowed his thoughts to wander. The complicated swirl of emotions that gripped his heart couldn't be easily dismissed or resolved. It was true that he was inexperienced in matters of the heart, but he had to start somewhere. He couldn't continue to hide behind his shyness and reluctance. 

Gepard reached a turning point, realizing that wearing his heart on his sleeve was the only way forward. He needed to confront his feelings head-on, even if it meant risking rejection or embarrassment. The thought of continuing to dwell in uncertainty and missed opportunities was no longer tolerable. It was time to cast aside his reservations and let his feelings be known. The road ahead was uncertain, but Gepard was willing to embrace the journey, no matter the outcome.

Yet, his steps faltered as he turned the corner at Qlipoth Fort, his resolve crumbling like a fragile facade. There she was, standing at the bottom of the steps, engrossed in conversation with another soldier. His heart leaped into his throat, and he could feel the familiar fluttering return. Despite catching a glimpse of him from the corner of her eye, she seemed oblivious to his presence, focused on her task at hand. After handing the soldier a stack of papers, she turned to pick up some boxes and set off on her way again. 

Watching her retreating figure, Gepard felt the desperate pull of his heartstrings, urging him to pursue her before she disappeared from his sight again. Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he closed the distance between them. With each step, Gepard's mind raced, searching for the right words, the right approach. He couldn't afford to be shy or hesitant anymore. This was his chance to bridge the gap between them. As he drew near, Gepard cleared his throat, his voice steady. “Excuse me,” he said, catching the attention of the girl. 

She turned her head suddenly, eyes blown wide at the sight of him. “Captain? A-Are you here to arrest me?” She inquired, a hint of shock and disbelief in her tone. 

Gepard’s heart immediately sank to his boots at the thought of her fearing his presence, and he quickly shook his head, voice filled with reassurance. “No, no, not at all! I’m not here to arrest you,” he replied, tone gentle yet earnest. “I actually…” He trailed off, eyes struggling to meet hers, “I wanted to talk to you. If that’s alright.”

Her guard lowered a little, a mix of curiosity and confusion flashed across her features. “Talk? About what?” she asked, her tone cautious.

Gepard shifted his weight anxiously, but he tried his best to maintain eye contact, conveying his sincerity. “I wanted to see how you’re doing. And… Well,” deep breaths, Gepard, “To apologize for our last encounter. It was a complete accident, and I didn’t mean to startle you. I hope you’ve recovered well from your injury.”

Her expression softened, and she seemed to relax a little, releasing a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “Thank you, but it’s me who should be apologizing. And I appreciate your concern, Captain, I’m doing much better now. It was just a small injury.” 

“I’m glad to hear that,”  Gepard mustered a small smile, relieved that he had broken through their awkward barrier. “If it’s not too forward of me to ask, I was wondering…” his gaze flickered down to the boxes she was holding, “Would you like some help with those boxes? It would be my pleasure to assist you.”

She hesitated for a moment, unsure of his intentions. He was the Captain of the Silvermane Guards, after all. Who would she be to steal his time? But he was the one offering his assistance. “I would appreciate that, actually…”

Gepard stepped forward, carefully taking one of the boxes from her hold. “You can call me Gepard, by the way. No need for formalities,” he said, his voice warm.

Gepard let her lead the way, and this time a comfortable silence filled the air. It wasn’t suffocating like their last meeting, and definitely not life-threatening in any way. If he was being honest, every moment spent in her company made Gepard feel like his heart was about to beat out of his chest, but he managed to keep himself cool. Just about. Gepard's shyness gradually gave way to genuine curiosity and a desire to know more about the girl before him. Conversation flowed naturally, sprinkled with light banter and the casual joke here and there.

Eventually, the conversation was steered towards work-related matters, and Gepard became curious about her profession. Although her responses were initially guarded, she quickly became heated with frustration the more she spoke about it. She revealed that she worked for the government, and that the recent stir with the new Supreme Guardian had caused her quite the headache, in terms of paperwork. The archives had to be updated, and every piece of official documentation needed to be copied and filed accordingly. She explained the long hours and demanding responsibilities that came with her position, mirroring Gepard's own dedication to his duties.

Outside of work, both of them didn’t have time for personal pursuits or social interactions, engrossed in their respective responsibilities. Gepard even shared his own apprehensions about his job, going as far as telling her some of the strange things his soldiers had gotten up to. His heart fluttered each time her laughter chimed through his ears, and he felt it sinking deeper and deeper into the fluffy, petal-ridden, butterfly-warzone of his chest. When he noticed her steps began to slow down, he too changed his pace.

The girl paused, and Gepard noticed they had arrived at her doorstep. As she moved to unlock the front door of her home, he couldn't help but feel a wave of nervousness crash down on him. She placed the boxes inside and turned back to face him, her eyes shining with gratitude. "Thank you for your assistance today, Captain," she beamed, but then corrected herself, "I mean, Gepard."

Gepard smiled, trying to swallow down the fluttering of butterfly wings that filled the expanse of his chest. One wrong move and it felt like they may have flown from his mouth as he spoke. The love that consumed him threatened to overflow, but he managed to keep his composure. He didn't want to overwhelm her (or himself, for the record) with his feelings just yet. "It was my pleasure," he replied, tone laced with sincerity.

After exchanging greetings, they found themselves standing on the threshold of her home. As she began to close the door, Gepard felt a sudden surge of courage that took him by surprise. Every fibre of his being yelled at him to go for it. “Wait,” he said, hastily putting his hand up to the door before she could close it completely. Curiosity flickered in her eyes as she reopened it, tilting her head inquisitively.

“Uhm, yes?” She asked, eyes widening with anticipation. “Is there something else you need, Captain?”

Gepard took a deep breath, attempting to still his racing heart and shaking hands. With each passing moment, his face grew warmer as he struggled to find the right words. Finally, he mustered enough courage to ask, “Would you like to… Get a coffee with me sometime?”

Her eyes widened in surprise, but a gentle smile soon graced her features. “I would love to,” she replied, warmth blooming in her chest. As she watched him shuffle so innocently on her doorstep, face flushed with a rosy hue, she couldn’t help but see him in a different light. Perhaps the tall Silvermane Captain wasn’t as scary as she first anticipated after all…

my brain is so mushy after writing all dis n my exam was all long questions... i mentioned butterflies so much can u tell my exam was abt insect diversity siigghhh... heart eyes for geppie rn ♥︎

[plantboiart]

Saw @the0retically’s post about rand probably knowing that the deeps had died and now my brain. Is going overtime with the kiangst.

How many times did kian feel like an outsider with his best friends? Like he didnt matter as much, like they could never love him like he loved them, like he was a second priority, an afterthought, just the person who was also there?

Did he see rand screaming and yelling at rolan for betraying them, for leaving, only to then quietly let kian go not too long after? Did he cry on his way to la, hating that he’d known this was how things would go, that rand wouldn’t care about fighting to keep him like he did with rolan?

When rolan didnt keep in contact with him, was there always a quiet voice in the back of his head telling him that rolan probably called rand back? That the two of them probably still talked, even if it wasnt as often, that kian just wasn’t included in their friendship anymore?

Did he learn about the fact that rolan’s parents were dead, and connect the dots that rand must have known. That in a town like galloway, there was no way he DIDN’T know. That rand hadn’t called kian and asked him to come visit because he genuinely missed him and wanted to see him, it was entirely because his plan to help rolan through finally finishing their campaign required kian there. That kian was an afterthought. A piece in the game rather than a player in it. Just there to fill the silence and space.

Did he run after rolan after they found rat, and think about how rolan would never care to do the same for kian? Did he patch himself up after the car crash, on the brink of death, and hate that he couldn’t even be disappointed the others didn’t bother to check if he was alright? Did he see becky, one of the only people who had ever fully cared about him, and feel so stupidly hopeful that maybe she could love him like he loved her still?

Did he go see her, knowing he might not come back alive, and justify it by telling himself that nobody would really miss him anyways? That even if she killed him, it wouldnt matter when nobody would mourn his death for longer than a second or two?

When he was dying, when he was dead, was he able to think, to feel, to understand what was happening around him? Did he wait for hours, crying to himself when more and more time passed and nobody, NOBODY came to find him? Not even dickman? When rolan finally came, when he got his copy, did kian feel a sick sort of satisfaction and happiness, knowing that at least rolan had cared enough to come towards the sound of his music? (Did he ever learn that rand had ignored it?)

When he felt, lived through, experienced rolan cutting into his copy (him in such a horrible way it was still him) to protect rand, and wonder if rolan could have done the same if the roles were reversed? If he had to kill rand to protect kian? Did he spend the last moments as that version of himself feeling just as unloved as always before?

Could his corpse think? Could it hear? Could it hear the others arguing about which one was going to go closer to him, to save him? Did his singing grow even more pleading, even more desperate, as he wordlessly begged them not to leave him? To at least care enough to do this for him? Even just for a second, did he think they’d leave? Leave him there, alone, dead, and in pain? Did he have to feel relieved when rolan started actually singing with him?

Did he stay at the community house, because they wouldn’t care? Because kian’s life never mattered like theirs’ did? When becky tried to push him back towards it, did he know she wasnt trying to protect him, but tell himself that she was anyways because he just needed someone to care about him? Did he run towards the docks, and expect them to already be gone without him?

Did he see the queen’s true form, and know he wouldn’t be mourned? Did he see what was about to happen before it did, and finish the lyrics back to her anyways, because in the end, what did it matter?

Kian was just an extra. An outsider, a second priority, an afterthought, the person who was also there. Nobody would miss him anyways. Not when there was anyone else that could be mourned instead.

[why-do-i-like-the-bad-guys]

A point no one ever touches on about Flint:

The fact that he was raised by his grandfather.

Now, maybe it was common back then, but from personal experience; losing your parents at such a young age makes a huge impact on a person.

People argue that “Flint” was created because of the loss of Thomas Hamilton. But I’d like to think it was when he lost his parents. The only difference being, Miranda and Thomas allowed him to come out of the shadows, out of hiding. He had that rage inside him before he lost Thomas, his boss in the Navy said so himself after he beat up a guy in the bar. He had a darkness in him that not even he understood the depths of.

I can definitely relate to that statement and mindset, I think as a kid instead of acting out on his aggression; Flint used books and stories to try and escape his reality, so he wouldn’t be alone with his own thoughts. I do the same with TV shows and stories I write.

But then he found Thomas and Miranda and he didn’t need the books to crawl into, he was accepted by them, welcomed. And as someone who was adopted themselves, it’s extremely hard and sometimes it feels impossible to believe that someone could love you as you are or for who you are. Not only that, I think he found family within them, something sometimes hard for someone who loses their parents.

Flint tried to fit in by becoming an officer, upholding the standards of the law and whatnot, to be like everyone else. But deep inside, I think he felt very out of place and alone. He saw the world as it was, the cruelty within the people, and he ended up showing that to Thomas who was quite oblivious to it. But Flint knew the world was cruel at an early age.

They come from different backgrounds, but together they get to see the world through each other’s eyes, and that is a world that they can see being happy in.

Now, I know a lot of people like to think it’s purely queer rage that drove Flint, but I like to think it was something much deeper than that. Yes, he loved Thomas, inside and out, but I think Thomas was the first person who he didn’t have to pretend with. He was the first person who made him feel as if he wasn’t alone: that he was worthy of being loved. Then he was taken away and James became Flint and took Miranda away with him out of England.

Her ghost even says that first to him, she was a mother, and that’s why he was so ruined over her. He lost his mother again. I think it just shows that his reasons are a lot deeper than just being ostracized for being queer in that time. I think his rage goes beyond that, it goes all the way to his core of who he believes he is because of the loss of his parents. He came up from nothing, his grandfather wasn’t well off, he didn’t have a mother figure, that can be extremely damaging to a child growing up.

And sure, he had his grandfather, but growing up without parents also makes it extremely hard to figure out who you are. And it doesn’t specifically say how he lost his parents, but personally I like to believe that he lost his mother in childbirth, maybe his father died before he was born. It does mention that his father was a carpenter’s mate (worked on a ship) and that James himself had no schooling growing up. Which means, he learned everything himself because his grandfather was a fisherman and probably wasn’t well educated either. So he came from literally nothing and made something of himself, yet I don’t think he was content. I think he kept climbing the ranks, hoping it would give him a sense of meaning or purpose within his life, give him the peace he wanted, fill the hole within that losing his parents left.

An additional to that would be that James McGraw was a personality he put on, much like he did with Flint.

I also think he saw Gates as a father figure, a mentor, someone he trusted and respected more than any one else. So I think when Gates betrayed him, it broke something inside of him and he felt alone again.

He also says that England took his home; and I don’t think he meant the physical place, I think he meant Thomas. But I also think he meant his final security within himself. With Thomas and Miranda he found family, he found love and trust.

When Miranda was murdered it was the absolute last straw for him. It was like his mother dying all over again; except this time she was murdered, and now no one was safe from his vengeance. And people might think he went overboard, but think about it: someone insinuated that she was a slut and he almost beat the man to death. I think it was well within his rage now he burned the entire place down after she was murdered. Hell, those people got off easy.

He also talks about where the name Flint came from. A man that was never seen again. I think he chose it because in his mind, identity was something you could change, something you could toss away when done with. But closer to the end, he realized, he was Flint, Flint was him, and there was no throwing it away and starting over.

He tells Silver that he shouldn’t be afraid that he (Silver) will be his end because I think he already realizes that he’s already his own end. That there is no other way other than to die, in order to get rid of Flint. I think he knew at some point, that Silver would have to kill him and he was oky with it, but as long as the war was won or Silver carried on with the efforts of the war, so Flint would no longer be needed. Or Flint would just off himself when the time came. It was like passing on the torch, only Silver blew it out in front of him.

And for the offing himself part, we all know he would do it because at the end of the first season he tried to drown himself, he gave up hope. So he does have it in him to do that. (Not so fun fact: adoptees are 4x more likely to attempt suicide)

And I think it’s another reason Flint allowed himself to trust Silver in the first place. On some level, he knew that Silver understood what it was to have no solid identity, to have a background that made something inside of you missing. Silver had no problems shifting his position on the ship in order to stay relevant, which is why they made such good partners, because they understood one another in a way that Gates never could. But the thing with Silver was that he couldn’t see the ultimate bigger picture like Flint could, he didn’t have the loss Flint had, the sacrifices that Flint made, all he saw in the end was the destruction, not the new beginning coming out of the ashes.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Imprisoning War Drama is consuming me and I cannot contain it any longer, so... here you go.

Hemisi still couldn’t believe this was happening. Link was here. Zelda had sent him here.

Her beautiful, stupid, wonderful friend was right in front her. Her former betrothed was right in front of her. Her best friend was right in front of her.

The pretense, of course, was that he was there to help reestablish healthy relations with the Gerudo. It had been three years since the war, a time that Zelda apparently deemed long enough to acknowledge their existence again. Hyrule hadn’t helped the Gerudo at all in the past three years as Hemisi had struggled to protect and guide her people, as she’d tried to pick up the pieces from a once thriving civilization.

Hemisi had originally been angry about it. Angry about everything. On the one hand, it made sense – the Gerudo had been Hyrule’s enemy. The destruction of her own kingdom was due to Ganondorf, not Zelda. On the other hand, it felt like one last slap, taking her lover, her dignity, and any hope she had of receiving help for her people despite betraying her own father to help Hyrule.

But that was then. It had been three years. Hemisi couldn’t exactly say she liked Zelda or Hyrule, but she also couldn’t say she wanted to see that kingdom burn anymore. She probably wouldn’t mind beating the queen senseless, though. But that wasn’t exactly noble, and she was trying not to be like Ganondorf. Anger was an exhausting emotion, and she was working on not relying on it or feeding it all the time.

Anger was certainly not what she was feeling now. What she was feeling was utter disbelief and exhilaration.

Link was here.

Truly, such a reunion should merit some sort of show of emotion. Instead, what came out was, “You look like shit.”

Link’s somber expression immediately shattered, bursting into life with as he let out a laugh.

And just like that, it was as if the last three years hadn’t happened. It was as if their last conversation hadn’t been her trying to convince him to come home with her, to part ways with his wife and unborn heir. Link was immediately at ease, and Hemisi felt overwhelmingly happy.

Maybe they were just pretending. Maybe enough time had passed that somehow it just worked. It seemed impossible, strange, ridiculous that they were suddenly laughing in the small space that counted as Hemisi’s court room in their new settlement, but… somehow it worked.

Link’s laughter subsided, fading into a gentle, sincere smile. “You look beautiful.”

Well, that was quite the straightforward statement to say in front of all her guards. Link seemed to realize that too, despite Hemisi’s even blunter statement earlier, and he tried to backtrack, but Hemisi waved him off.

“You doing okay?” She asked, pushing beyond it as she smiled in acknowledgement of the compliment.

“Y-yeah,” Link shakily answered, though it was hard to tell if it was due to his earlier slip up or something else. “I’m… yes.”

The euphoria of their reunion was fading fast as something nagged Hemisi’s mind, and she said, “Well, I’m glad to hear it. There were rumors circulating that you were really ill, and I… I was worried.”

Link’s mood shifted, and he seemed to grow closed off nearly immediately. She’d seen the expression before, a mixture of a mask in front of nobles and superiors and the cold, calculating gaze he’d get when he had to guard himself. She felt a strange sense of pride and reassurance that she could still read him so well, but it was far outclassed by the worry that gnawed at her further.

Hemisi waved a dismissal to her guards, who all departed, leaving the pair alone. She rose from her seat (she hardly could call it a throne – none of their new accommodations compared to the splendor of their former capital, destroyed as it was) and walked up to him, closing the space between them. “I’m… look. We didn’t exactly end things on terrible terms last time, but we also didn’t exactly end them on great terms, either. I just wanted to say… for my part, I’m sorry.”

Link’s face softened, surprise peeking through the cracks. “For what?”

For what?! “Oh, I don’t know, for trying to seduce you?”

“You don’t have to apologize.”

“Pretty sure I do, moron.”

Link sighed. “Fine. You’re forgiven.”

Well. Now the initial greeting was out of the way, the wave of excitement was disappearing, and they’d quickly addressed their last interaction.

…Now what? Goddesses, she missed when they could just be casual with each other, when they could just be friends. It had almost felt real for a moment, when they’d been laughing together.

Who knows? Maybe we can make something of this.

“The news was that you were to discuss relations with the Gerudo?” Hemisi prompted as Link seemed at a loss for words.

“Yes,” he hastily confirmed, trying to get his footing, lost in her gaze. “I—the queen wants to reestablish trade. With the border, at least.”

Hemisi read into the words easily. “So having a neutral zone, you mean? Where we can interact? But we’re not really allowed in the kingdom still, I presume?”

“Not—what? Hemisi, you came to the baby shower.”

“Upon being invited by the queen,” Hemisi noted, crossing her arms. “You think we’d have been allowed passage without the paperwork?”

Link’s brow furrowed, eyes upset, and he sighed, taking a step away.

Hemisi glanced around him as a new thought occurred to her in the silence created. “Where’s your entourage, anyway? Shouldn’t the mighty King of Hyrule have some royal party following him?”

“I don’t need one.”

“What about your shadow?”

“I asked Lady Impa to stay in the castle.”

Hemisi chuckled. “Oh, I bet she loved that.”

Link’s eyes grew sad, and he tipped his head to the side. There was clearly something he wanted to say, but he’d always been a quiet man. He kept his words to himself, sighing again.

Hemisi felt like she was fumbling some kind of negotiation before it had even begun. For the sake of her people and her sanity, she tried again. “Look, why don’t—why don’t we have a drink? I bet you haven’t had something as good as a Noble Pursuit since the war.”

The tip of Link’s mouth curled up slightly. “We never had a Noble Pursuit during the war. It was mead, remember?”

Oh, that’s right. It had tasted awful. “Well, then that means you’re in for a treat. Can’t a king enjoy a little beverage? It’s our hospitality.”

Link’s smile disappeared, replaced by something new, a soft, strange bemusement, thinly veiled behind a cool gaze.

“What?” Hemisi asked. “What is it?”

Links shifted, trying to find the right words. “Why are… you’re so… last time we talked…”

“Was over two years ago,” Hemisi reminded him. “What, you really thought I was petty enough to hold a grudge that long?”

“Was it just a grudge?” Link asked quietly, voice heavy.

Was our love just worth a grudge? Is that all it means to you? Hemisi wasn’t entirely sure that was what he was asking, but it certainly felt like it. Was he expecting her to be angry as she had been, bitter and vindictive and wanting to snap? Part of the reason she’d been so hostile then was because she’d immediately been insulted by the Hyrulians – she’d been trying to stay neutral during the visit. Her original mission had been to convince Link to return to her. She hadn’t been there to pick fights over anything else. She hadn’t been there to fight.

But there was something in the heaviness of his tone, in the exhaustion in his face that had merited her initial words, in the tension of his muscles. As much as Link played his part of the Hero, as much as he bowed and kissed the ground Queen Zelda walked on, he very clearly held far more feelings about the matter than he expressed.

It wasn’t as if Hemisi hadn’t known Link loved her, hadn’t recognized their parting would hurt him too. But he’d been the one to leave her. She hadn’t exactly expected him to be hurting as much as she had, left completely abandoned just after killing her father, left to pick up the pieces of a shattered kingdom and people by herself when he had promised to be by her side, left to mourn the loss of her entire family alone.

A familiar hurt and anger churned in her stomach and chest, but she bit her lip and tried to redirect it. “You know it wasn’t. But what are you expecting? You look as tired of it as I am. You’re the one who chose Hyrule, chose Zelda over me. Repeatedly. I did try to convince you otherwise both times. Now you’re surprised that I actually respected your choice?”

Link swallowed, taking a small step away, the dark presence that clouded him seeming to dissipate a little. “No, I—I’m sorry.”

“You keep saying that,” Hemisi dully snapped, not quite able to reel in her frustration. “Doesn’t change things. Can we just… try to move forward? And have fun now? Drinks?”

Link nodded sheepishly, letting her guide him to her room. If they’d been in her old home, there’d be an antechamber where she could entertain guests. But as it was, in this new settlement they’d established at the oasis they’d found, she hardly had a regular sized house. The throne room was the only place to have an audience with people formally, and drinks hardly seemed a formal affair to be had there. As she passed the hallway leading there, letting Link get ahead of her, she paused, looking one of her trusted guards in the eye. “Don’t… if we drink a little too much… do me a favor. Don’t let it get crazy.”

The guard raised her eyebrow.

“You know what I’m talking about,” Hemisi whispered irritably. “No matter our feelings for each other, and no matter the choices we make about our relationship, we’re acting on that sober.”

It wasn’t like Hemisi was expecting anything to happen, of course. But alcohol was getting involved. And as much tension as there still seemed to be between them… well. She just… she was better than that. The baby shower had been her last attempt, one last act of hope, a thought that if the queen had an heir Link’s duty was fulfilled. She was not going to be so pathetic as to keep pursuing someone who had chosen another woman, no matter her feelings on the matter.

The guard nodded. “I can respect that. Nothing will happen.”

Feeling far more secure about the matter, she walked into her room. Link was standing in the center a little awkwardly, but his gaze had fixed on one of the walls, eyes a little wide, mouth a little parted, expression unguarded. It was a mixture of surprise, amusement, and regret, eyebrows moving subtly between the three along with his lips.

Hemisi huffed, walking up beside him as she looked at the wall in question. On it was an old painting of Ganondorf (it had originally depicted the entire royal family, but she’d cut him out and kept the rest elsewhere), pinned to the wall with multiple daggers that had been thrown at it. She was still most proud of the one she’d thrown that had ended up between his eyes. It held the piece quite well.

“You like it?” She asked, crossing her arms. “It’s my therapy.”

Link snorted and nodded. “I’m surprised you don’t have one of Zelda.”

Hemisi’s eyebrows rose in surprise. She hadn’t expected that to come out of his mouth. Link seemed equally surprised that he’d admitted it, and he shifted anxiously, asking about the Noble Pursuit. Chuckling, she walked over to where the bottle was sitting in the shade, commenting, “I probably would’ve had one for her a couple years ago. But you didn’t want that, remember?”

She wasn’t quite resentful enough of the queen to throw daggers at her. Zelda herself had seen and dealt with some shit, based on the little Hemisi knew. That didn’t mean she liked her, though. At all. She wouldn’t mind throttling her, honestly. But still. The queen wasn’t nearly on the same level of Hemisi’s hatred as Ganondorf.

This wasn’t something she really wanted to talk about much, anyway. If she vented to Link about how she wanted to punch his wife, he’d certainly jump to her defense, whether he himself liked her or not. And if his defense did prove that he liked her, it would only increase Hemisi’s ire, which was frustrating to just think about. She didn’t want to be petty or jealous. She was better than that.

Even if it did hurt. Even if the past three years alone could have been spent with someone who loved her and supported her, even if maybe her struggle to rebuild the Gerudo might not have been so terrible (or even lethal to some who had died in the interim) for everyone involved.

Hemisi was more than just a spurned lover. She was a chief of the Gerudo, she was a warrior. She would not perseverate on the queen.

She just wanted her friend back. She was hoping a little alcohol would loosen them both up to have an actual conversation.

Three drinks later, they were having more than just an actual conversation. They were having fun.

Link laughed as he put his glass down and leapt to his feet. “Okay, but I want to contribute to your therapy, to your masterpiece over there.”

Hemisi giggled. “With what? You’re not using my knives.”

“I have kunai,” he said easily with a wave of his hand.

“You still carry those, oh mighty ruler?”

“I told you, I don’t need an escort for a reason.”

Hemisi barked out a laugh as she stood on her bed, motioning towards the painting of Ganondorf. “Go for it, then. Good luck hitting anything when you can’t see straight!”

Link wiggled his eyebrows challengingly. “I’ll get him in the jewels.”

“I already got a knife in his headdress and I’m not moving it.”

Link’s smile grew. “You’ll see.”

Hemisi hummed, looking skeptical. What was he going to do, try to knock her knife off the jewelry that adorned Ganondorf’s forehead? Link faced the portrait, hand steady despite how glazed his eyes were from the drinks. He focused for a moment, and oh how her heart fluttered at the sight of it, oh how she remembered all the battles they’d fought together in the war, and oh how—

How the kunai flew, how it whistled through the air it cut as it passed, how it hit sunk into the canvas perfectly, how it landed right between the dead king’s legs.

Hemisi gawked for a moment, Link looked delighted and victorious, and they both scream yelled at the shot, raising their arms in unison.

The air was filled with excitement and glee, at the two young adults laughing and screaming with glee, at how Hemisi leapt up and down on her mattress cheering before she leapt into Link’s open arms and he spun her around. They were giggling in absolute delight, laughing at the release of the moment, at how it finally seemed to entirely break whatever barrier they were keeping between each other. Link got dizzy from spinning and fell backwards, and both rulers landed on the bed with a grunt, breathless from their amusement.

Hemisi jumped up as soon as she had breath to do so, stumbling a little. Link caught her before she fell on a table, and she laughed again, leaning against it instead.

“You’re a lightweight,” Link commented with a chuckle.

“Am not!” She snapped playfully, shoving him away from her with a laugh. Then she glanced at the art. “Feels good to do that, though, doesn’t it?”

Link looked as well, smiling. “Yeah. Too bad I couldn’t make that shot in the last fight.”

Hemisi wheezed. “Goddess, that would’ve been fucking amazing.”

The pair giggled, and then Link seemed to grow contemplative a moment, asking, “You really… I’m sorry. That he… that everything. You know?”

“Why do you apologize so much, Link?” Hemisi asked, far less irritated about it now that her mind was addled.

“I don’t know,” he answered. Clearly alcohol loosed his lips far more than she remembered.

Ah, wait, but there was that time she dared him to call Impa his mother. Maybe she’d underestimated how much alcohol messed with him.

“Pfff, and you call me the lightweight,” she snarked.

Link rolled his eyes, only mildly exasperated. “Fine. It’s all his fault anyway.”

“Damn right it is.”

“But I… I mean… us…”

The air grew thick, and the two grew quiet. Then, softly, Link tried to ask, “Do… do you still…?”

“Do I still what?” Hemisi pressed impatiently, reaching for her drink. “Speak up, goofball. Remember when I used to tell you that when we were first dating? My gosh you were such a quiet, timid little thing.”

“I wasn’t timid,” Link huffed. “Just not used to being allowed to speak.”

“Well that’s stupid.”

“Unlike you, I was just a guard, not royalty.”

“Different now, isn’t it?”

Link sombered again. “Yeah. It is.”

Then he looked her dead in the eye. “I still love you.”

Hemisi nearly choked on her spit, breath ripped out of her. What the—

What was she even supposed to say to that?!

Well. If she was sober she’d probably contemplate that more. Instead, she just said, “I still love you too.”

Link blinked. “…O-oh.”

Hemisi laughed so hard her ribs hurt. “Oh? That’s all you have to say? You’re hopeless! Did you really think I hadn’t? What, just because you said ‘no’ and I respected that you thought that was it?”

Link blubbered, flustered, cheeks far more flushed than they were a moment ago.

“I get it,” Hemisi interrupted his pathetic attempt to formulate words. “You love Hyrule more.”

Link’s stuttering ceased, and he watched her with a clear gaze. Then he sighed, looking away, eyes distant. “I… yeah.”

Hemisi’s heart ached, but it also swelled. His selflessness was one of the reasons she loved him so much. She just… had never imagined it would come between them. “Hyrule has a good Hero.”

Link’s lip wobbled a little, eyes growing glassy, alarming the Gerudo chief a little. He looked at her a moment, eyes pleading, desperately fighting for control, but the alcohol was preventing it from happening, and the tears trickled down his face.

“Oh, love,” Hemisi said, hearing her own voice tremble, and she walked over to him, pulling him into a hug. “I know.”

“I’m sorry,” he cried quietly, words thick and choking in his throat. “I’m sorry.”

Hemisi felt his tears on her shoulder, felt him tremble in her arms. She was uncomfortable and warm, on the verge of tears herself, addled and ecstatic, and instead of really digging into the issue as she might have when she was sober, she kissed his head and said, “It’s okay. You love Hyrule. But… do you love Zelda more than me?”

Link’s quiet cries were sharply interrupted by a hiccup and a snort, and he yanked away from her, expression bewildered.

“Well?” Hemisi pressed, sniffling and poking his chest. In the back of her mind, a voice that was probably what was left of her rational side whispered, this is so pathetically stupid WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST HUG THE POOR GUY YOU IDIOT.

Meh. She wanted to know. They could hug after.

Link laughed. “You—you really—you have to ask??”

Hemisi grew mildly annoyed. “Yes!”

“W-wait, I—” Link moved out of her reach, heading for the table. “I need more alcohol for this.”

“Coward!” She called after him, his laughter contagious.

After taking another swig, Link walked back to her and pulled her to him, their lips meeting, and goddess she immediately drank him in, their bodies pressed so close, and Link poured all his energy into the kiss, hands roaming, and great Din above, Hemisi started to tug, started to feel her heart quicken, her body scream for just one thing, and—

A pole wedged itself between the couple as one of her guards jutted the handle of her spear to separate them. “That’s enough of that, Majesties.”

Link’s cheeks matched Hemisi’s hair, and the Gerudo chief rolled her eyes. “Leave us be!”

“Your orders, my chief.”

Ugh. It was a stupid order.

The guard gently but firmly grabbed Link by the arm, dragging him for the door. Before he left, though, he shot her a smile and a wink, and she knew, she knew in that moment who he loved more.

She smiled, collapsing on the bed, and before the door had even closed she was drifting off to sleep.

XXX

Hemisi groaned. Her head was killing her, and everything was too freaking bright.

She really didn’t remember much of last night, but she knew she’d had far too many drinks. Even if she didn’t recall that much, her body was certainly screaming it.

What had even happened last night? She remembered how it had started. As she tried to comb through fuzzy images, the linear progression steadily unraveled. She blinked her eyes open hesitantly to find herself alone in bed, still wearing her attire from yesterday, and she sighed a little in relief from that. At least nothing neither had planned had occurred.

So where was Link?

Slowly sitting up, Hemisi hissed as some sunlight peeked between the curtains of her room, hitting her eyes like a slap to the face. She shielded her face, grumbling and cussing as she nearly crawled out of the room.

“Good morning,” her guard greeted her.

Hemisi glowered halfheartedly at her, ignoring the fact that she likely looked like a disaster. “Where’s the king?”

“In the guest quarters.”

“We have those in this place?”

“We converted one of the guard’s rooms into one.”

Did they? Was that something Hemisi had planned for Link’s arrival? She didn’t remember that either. Great.

Leaning against the wall, she half dragged herself to the room in question, finding Link leaning over the bed, head nearly buried in a pot. He spat in it, clearly having just gotten ill, hair spilling over his shoulders. A twinge of sympathy pulled at her, and Hemisi sat on the bed, pulling his hair out of his face.

“Morning,” she echoed her guard’s greeting, waiting for a similar bite in reply.

Link just groaned.

In the past she would have laughed at him. Today, she just felt pity. She had been the one to encourage it, after all. She rubbed his back a little apologetically, waiting to see if he was going to get sick again. Instead, he slowly pulled back, grabbing a handkerchief and wiping his mouth.

“It’s been a while since I’ve been hungover,” Hemisi noted quietly, feeling her head throb rhythmically. She grimaced, closing her eyes. She almost apologized, but she chose the better route, smiling. “You’re a terrible influence on me.”

Link huffed, turning and nearly pouncing on her, tackling her to the bed and holding her hostage in his arms. Hemisi yelped, irritated at the motion as it made her headache worse, but also giggling at the roughhousing. She shoved hard against him, but he refused to let go.

“What are you doing, you butthead?” She grumbled, wiggling in his grip.

“Sleeping,” he slurred tiredly.

“Your breath smells awful.”

“‘S your fault.”

Hemisi huffed, admitting defeat. Her heart hammered with cheer at his behavior, at how they could still be casual around each other without the help of liquid confidence. Perhaps it was just that his mind was still addled from the hangover, from feeling uncomfortable and ill, but she’d take it.

Besides, she felt like garbage. She wanted to sleep. Link clearly was slipping back into a nap. So she just joined him.

When the pair woke again, It was nearly midday. A pitcher of water was resting on the nightstand, though neither knew when it had been placed there. Hemisi honestly didn’t want to really start the day, boneless and warm, safe and comfortable in Link’s arms. She remembered all the times they’d snuggled together to stave off the cold, for protection and a sense of security, weapons at the ready, wanting some kind of assurance that the other was okay, that they themselves weren’t vulnerable.

She missed the war. She missed the war.

Things were far more straightforward back then.

Killing was straightforward.

Link shifted a little, snapping Hemisi out of her musings, and she looked over to see him watching her. He was half asleep still, eyes a little glazed but so, so soft, face relaxed and open.

“Hey,” she greeted quietly.

“Hey,” he whispered back.

The moment lasted too long, each lover lost in the other’s eyes. Hemisi felt herself leaning in, Link reciprocating, and they both pulled away at the same time, sitting up with excited energy.

“Well,” Hemisi quipped breathlessly. “Guess we should do those negotiations, right?”

Link blinked, watching her a moment longer, and then squeezed his eyes shut, taking a deep breath and rubbing his eyes. “Yeah. We should.”

“Not that last night wasn’t fun, of course,” Hemisi added with a nervous laugh, genuinely adding, “I don’t remember much of it, but what I do remember was… really nice. Maybe we can still have fun, you know? Without blacking out, at least.” Curious, she added, “Do you remember anything?”

Link huffed a little, mildly amused as he stretched. “Not really.”

Oh well. She was wondering if she could get more information on what had occurred, but whatever. They’d had fun, at least. “Well, we both could use a good start to the day. What about a nice warm bath? With some salts and nice oils… and a massage! Goddess, I sure could use one. I could arrange for it.”

Link peered over at her, letting his hand fall to his lap, and he smiled. “That sounds nice.”

Hemisi felt herself smile in return. They could have a nice day. They could. She scooted in front of him and leaned in cautiously for a hug. Link let her relax against him, carefully wrapping his arms around her once more.

Humming, melting into the embrace, Hemisi noted, “Goddess, I’m glad Zelda sent you alone. This would be way less fun if she came.”

For a moment, nothing happened. She listened to Link’s heart beat against her ear. His arms pulled her closer. And then his entire body stiffened. She felt his chest go rigid, trapping a breath in it, and slowly his arms slipped away. Hemisi pulled away, a little confused, and saw Link staring at nothing, eyes hard, face like a stone.

“Yes. Yes, she did send me alone.” He noted quietly, voice like ice.

Hemisi blinked a few times, feeling like she’d just gotten whiplash. “Y-yeah. She… what’s wrong?”

Link rose abruptly. “We should go downstairs to discuss the trading between Hyrule and the Gerudo.”

The entire atmosphere had changed. The coldest desert nights had never felt this frigid. Hemisi hesitantly rose. “R-right. I…”

She didn’t know what had happened, what was wrong, what she had said. Given how carefree and silly they’d been last night, given how gentle and caring they’d been this morning… how had she said something wrong?

Doubting and overthinking everything she’d stated today, she clarified, “You know I meant… separate. Separate baths. Right?”

Link glanced at her, and though his expression didn’t change, his eyes melted a little, trying to show some concern. “I know.”

That was all he said, and there was still finality to it. Reluctantly, Hemisi walked out of the room, wondering what the heck just happened and how she’d managed to ruin everything.

Link joined her downstairs shortly after, looking somewhat put together. Despite little hints of lightheartedness that she’d throw him, he kept everything strictly formal. The negotiations were quick enough, and before sunset he was ready to depart. Hemisi offered for him to stay the night, to rest and relax, to eat something because by the Goddess Din herself he didn’t look as healthy as he used to, but he refused.

Hemisi watched him go in the dark, her heart heavy, wondering how seeing him again had made things so much worse.

XXX

The king’s arrival in the throne room was unexpected, but the room was cleared quickly as he walked towards the queen.

“Welcome back,” Zelda greeted, a little confused. “I thought you might be gone a little longer. Did it—”

“You did that on purpose, sending me there alone,” Link interrupted her, eyes fierce. “You used me.”

Zelda flinched a little, not used to this vehemence from him, never having seen this. Even at his darkest, cruelest moment, when he’d refused to see Sonia, he’d been cold and quiet. This was the exact opposite. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t speak to me like I am fool, Your Majesty,” Link growled. “I did not enter our marriage out of blind loyalty and obedience. I’m not your political toy to continue abusing! You sent me there to curry favor with Hemisi!”

“I—yes,” Zelda answered honestly. Somehow, that derailed her husband a little, though it seemed the fire was quickly returning. It gave her time to elaborate. “I wanted to reestablish relations with the Gerudo, and you were the best person to choose for that. You two love each other.”

Link’s brow furrowed further. “Yes. We do. And you knowing that means you sent me there to exploit it. You’re using me to get to her.”

“I just…” Zelda stumbled over her words, heart racing, trying to not feel slightly afraid by this turn of events. “I just want you to be happy.”

“And you want to be able to conveniently control the Gerudo through me!” Link corrected her. “This has nothing to do with me being happy. Do you think so little of me that you assumed I’d just go there and throw myself at her, that I don’t take my vows seriously? Do you think I am that much of a simpleton, a mindless animal driven only by feelings and cravings? You think I’m an idiot?”

“No!” Zelda argued, rising from the throne. “I just—it isn’t meant as an insult or a trap, you wouldn’t be the first—”

“You’re comparing me to your father now?” Link scoffed, voice rising as he gestured angrily. “Can you insult me any further? Will you call me Ganondorf next?”

“Link—”

“I agreed to our marriage because it was a desperate plea, a last-ditch effort to prevent further destruction,” Link growled. “I did it to protect Hyrule, to protect Hemisi, to protect you. You weren’t trying to use me as much back then – you were trying to look out for your people. And you were willing to sacrifice both of us, and I understood and accepted that. I didn’t just follow your orders, I knew what I was agreeing to, I meant my vows when I took them! I committed to this arrangement in every way possible, and you dare treat me like some pawn you can—”

Link cut himself, seemingly enraged beyond words, and he took a breath to calm himself a little before hissing, “Don’t try to use me like that. I am not a blind fool. You think I have spent years in this castle and not learned the politics? I’ve allowed you to utilize me multiple times, but I will not be your tool to hurt or control her. You will never control Hemisi.”

The throne room was deathly quiet as the two monarchs stared each other down. Link’s red eyes were like fire, glare furrowing his brow deeply, while Zelda’s green eyes held uncertainty and hurt, confusion and fear, and the king gave a jerky, terse nod of acknowledgement before storming out of the room.

Zelda slowly sat back down on the throne, releasing a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding, and buried her face in her hand as she leaned to the side. There were quiet footsteps, carefully loud enough to be heard when they had every ability to hide themselves.

“I thought you had ensured everyone left so no one could listen to our conversation,” Zelda noted tiredly.

“I did,” Impa replied. “And then I came back.”

Zelda blew out a frustrated breath, rising to her feet. “I don’t understand why he’s so upset! I was doing him a favor! He loves Hemisi, they can be together and it still benefits the kingdom!”

“Zelda,” Impa tried to explain gently, but her tone only irritated the queen further.

“Don’t,” Zelda cut her off. “Don’t talk to me like I’m some ignorant little girl. I’ve been ruling Hyrule for almost five years now, I’m not a child who knows nothing!”

“I didn’t say you were, Your Majesty,” Impa said appeasingly.

“Link shouldn’t be—this is so—I can’t win with him!” She snapped, feeling tears sting in her eyes.

Just like with my father.

Why couldn’t this just be easy?! Why couldn’t one thing in her life be easy?!

“Your Majesty,” Impa tried again. “You can’t… you can’t control others’ lives. It’s not like… just giving orders to accomplish a goal.”

“I’ve healed Hyrule through my orders,” Zelda reminded her advisor.

“Yes, you have. But Link isn’t a kingdom, a distant group of people, a problem to be solved. He’s a person.”

“So are the nobles.”

“You manipulate them because you have to. That doesn’t mean you should manipulate everyone.”

It was called manipulation when there was a negative outcome. It was called helping when there was a positive one. If Link had just listened and understood his duty, it would have been a positive outcome!

Zelda sighed tiredly, hugging herself and turning away. Impa was her confidante and advisor. She should listen to her. But…

She needed to pray. She needed to sort this out.

“I’ll be in the temple if you need me,” she said quietly, leaving the throne room, trying to get the terrifying image of Link’s furious face out of her mind.

[hbyrde36]

Life is a Game (and True Love is a Trophy)

Chapter 7

Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5 Ch 6 ao3 link

*Eddie*

Eddie was at a loss. He could do nothing but watch as his uncle took in the scene in front of him for a moment, before finally stepping fully into the trailer and closing the door behind him.

“You’re the Harrington boy, aren’t you?” Wayne asked, giving Steve a once over where he sat next to Eddie. 

“Uh. Yes, sir.” Steve stood up and approached him, offering what looked like a well-practiced handshake.

“No sir’s here, kid. Call me Wayne.”

“Okay, Wayne then. I’m Steve.”

Wayne snorted. “Yea, I sorta figured. How in the...”

The older man trailed off when he finally turned his attention away from Steve, and noticed the girl. As his eyes roamed over her buzzed head and bloodied clothes, he sucked in a sharp breath and went white as a sheet. Eddie knew she was a sight, they may have cleaned her face but she hadn’t been awake long enough to get her into any other clothes.

Wayne recovered quickly, eyes snapping back to Steve with a heavy look that Eddie didn’t understand.

“Does anyone want to tell me what the hell is going on? Cause I'm kind of freaking out here.” Eddie blurted out. 

Steve glanced at him, all sad eyes and a sympathetic smile. Somehow it didn’t make him feel any better. The other boy opened his mouth to speak but was quickly cut off by Wayne.

“Ed, why don’t you take the young lady to your room and get her some clean clothes, while I have a word with Harrington here.”

Steve tensed beside him, and regardless of his own growing unease, Eddie was quick to jump to his defense. “You don’t have to talk to him if you don’t want to, Steve.”

“No...it’s okay. You go ahead, we’ll be fine.”

Eddie clenched his jaw, he didn’t like this one bit. Everyone was acting so weird. Wayne hadn’t even asked why Steve was here, or how! He had expected quite a different reaction from his uncle to the boy’s sudden reappearance. He did feel bad for leaving the girl in her dirty clothes though, so he reluctantly agreed and led her back down the hall. After she changed he would start demanding answers. 

When they arrived at his room the girl took Eddie’s hand, looking up at him with eyes far too serious for someone so young. “Do not worry, everything is going to be okay.”

He gaped at her, not understanding why she would say such a thing to him, when she and Steve were the ones on the run, but he knew with absolute certainty that she meant it. He swallowed hard, nodding dumbly before remembering why they were there in the first place, and started searching through his dresser drawers for something that would fit her. 

He managed to dig up an old Hawkins High gym class t-shirt and shorts set that looked like it would do the job nicely. Any of his shirts would have probably fit her okay enough, but his pants would all be too big and too long. He handed her the bundle of fabric and went right back out the door so she could have some privacy.

Standing in the hall, he couldn’t help overhearing his uncle speaking in hushed tones. There was no answering voice, so he must have been on the phone. Did that mean he was done questioning Steve already?

“I swear on my life, Hop. He’s standing here in my kitchen, I’m looking at him right now.”

Oh fuck. Eddie had promised Steve would be safe here, and within five minutes of being home Wayne had already called the cops. He couldn’t believe it. He raced down the hall, ready to scream at his uncle for betraying them, and to get Steve and the girl out of here if he needed to, but Wayne's next words brought him to a screeching halt.

“No, I already called Claudia, she's on her way now to help me tell him.”

Tell who what? What did his aunt have to do with anything?

Eddie came around the corner just as his uncle hung up the phone. Steve was standing right next to him. 

“What’s going on?” He demanded.

A look passed between the two other men and Eddie growled in frustration. He was getting the distinct feeling that everyone in this house knew something he didn’t, and his initial confusion was quickly giving way to anger. 

“No! No more of that. Somebody needs to start talking soon or I'm gonna lose it. I heard you just now, Wayne, it’s a small trailer. Why did you call Hopper? And why is Claudia coming over?”

“Maybe we should all go have a seat and..” Wayne began, but Eddie cut him off.

“I don’t want to sit down!”

“Okay, okay.” Steve said, placatingly. “Your uncle has a lot he wants to tell you and he needs help to do that. I said it was alright, that I didn’t mind your aunt or the Chief knowing I was here.”

“Why?” Eddie asked. He hadn’t even been around Steve for a full day yet, but this was a complete 180 from the way the boy had been before, worried about anyone other than Eddie seeing them. Something had changed, he just didn’t understand what.

“Earlier, you asked me some questions. You wanted to know my sister’s name. It’s Eleven. Her name is Eleven, El for short.”

Eddie burst out laughing. He couldn’t help it. It was a bit of an odd time for a prank but that’s what this had to be, right? 

“Good one, Harrington. What, did you find my campaign notes or something?”

“Campaign notes?” Steve looked genuinely puzzled.

Eddie rolled his eyes, he wasn’t in the mood for this. “You can drop the act now, you’re not fooling anyone. It’s the game I told you about earlier, with the monster from that drawing? Clearly you found one of my old notebooks, read about the character I created named Eleven, a girl with superpowers and a buzzcut who escaped from Hawkins lab, and decided to have a little fun with it.”

Steve blinked at him, as if he had no idea what Eddie meant. He was too good at this, Eddie thought, he really needed the guy to break soon, because this was becoming less and less funny by the second.

“But, I am Eleven, Eddie. This is not a game.”

He startled at the sound of the girl's soft voice appearing behind him. 

“It’s not possible.” Eddie insisted, spinning around to face her.

She stepped up close to him and turned her arm over, revealing a small tattoo on the inside of her wrist. “Look.” 

Eddie stared down at the number etched there, it looked exactly as he’d pictured it in his head. He narrowed his eyes as he licked his thumb, rubbing it over the mark to try and smear what he assumed, what he hoped, was drawn on with a pen or marker. It didn’t budge.

“It’s not possible!” Eddie repeated, shouting. His knees trembled and he felt a little faint. Steve must have noticed and came to his rescue. He didn’t argue this time when the other boy helped him back over to the living room and sat him on the couch. 

Wayne followed, taking a seat on the nearby recliner. The girl, who he still refused to call Eleven even inside his own head, sat next to him on one side, Steve on the other. They were both looking at him with such concern, that if he didn’t think he was actively going crazy he would have felt guilty about it. 

Steve clasped him on the shoulder, squeezing lightly. “Eddie, no matter what happens today, I just want you to know I’m here for you. You didn’t hesitate to offer us help when we turned up bloody in the middle of the woods. I’ll never forget that, and I'll be here for whatever you need to get through this. We both will.” 

“I don’t understand.” Eddie murmured.

Steve gave him another sad smile, a look he was starting to hate seeing on the other boy's face.

“Eleven really did escape from Hawkins lab. It was back in 1983, and I found her wandering in the woods while the whole town was out searching for Will Byers. I hid her for a while, but after a few months we got caught. I couldn’t let them drag her back to that place alone, so I made them take me too. That’s where we’ve been all this time.”

Eddie stared at him, unblinking. “You’re serious aren’t you? This isn’t a joke?”

Steve nodded. “I’m sorry.”

Eddie didn’t know what to make of any of it, he had more questions than ever, and the implications, if all of this was true, were mind-blowing. He didn’t get long to think of what to ask first, because his aunt and Dustin arrived minutes later in a flurry of chaos.

The sun had only just risen as Dustin entered the trailer still wearing his pajamas and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Claudia was trailing close behind. He yawned loudly amidst grumbling about why the hell he had to get up so early when school didn’t start for another two hours, but stopped abruptly when he caught sight of the two people sitting with Eddie. The kid’s jaw dropped. 

“Is that? Oh my god, are you Steve Harrington?!” Dustin shrieked, before launching into a rambling mess of questions, all the while leaving no space for anyone to answer him.

 “Wherehaveyoubeen? DidEddiefindyou? Howdidhefindyou? Whatsgoingon? Who’sthegirl?”

Wayne quietly approached the young boy from behind and threw a hand over his mouth, silencing him. 

Dustin glared. 

Eleven giggled.

“You, sit.” Wayne told the kid, pointing at a spot on the floor in front of Eddie. Dustin pouted but did what he was told, and, miracle of miracles, kept his mouth shut. 

Claudia took over Wayne's seat on the armchair, while he moved a stool in from the kitchen and placed it next to her for himself.

“Ed, I know it’s been a rough day already,” Wayne began, “but your Aunt and I need to tell you something. Before we do, I need you to know that you’ve been my boy since the moment you walked through that door, and absolutely nothing and no one is ever going to change that. You hear me?”

Eddie bit his lip. “It sounds like you’re about to tell me I'm adopted or something.” He tried to laugh it off, but it fell flat. 

“It’s a little more.. complicated than that.” His uncle said.

“What are you saying? Are you not really my Uncle? What…did you find me on the side of the road or something?” Eddie hated the way his voice shook as he asked, but he couldn't help it. 

“I did, actually, sweetie. I found you.” Claudia admitted.

El slipped her small hand into Eddie’s again, her attempt to offer him comfort, he knew. He tried to smile down at her in thanks, but it was a weak thing.

“About eight years ago,” his aunt continued, “I was hired through a temp agency to fill in for a girl on maternity leave at Hawkins lab. I was posted at the front desk, and wasn’t allowed anywhere past the first floor. I never really thought about why I would be restricted, or even what sort of work they were doing there. I just answered phones, made sure the men coming and going signed in or out, stuff like that. It was an easy job, Dusty was still so little, and we needed the money after his father…” 

Claudia trailed off, looking into space for a moment, clearly struggling with the painful memory of losing her late husband. She wiped lightly at her eyes before continuing. 

“Anyway, one day, and I remember it must have been near lunchtime because the ground floor was practically deserted, this loud alarm started to go off. A man, some sort of security guard or something, told me the building was about to go into lockdown, and if I didn't get out quickly I'd be stuck in the building until the situation had passed. He didn’t stick around to see if I listened, just ran off towards the main set of elevators. The emergency exit was closer to my desk than the main entrance, so I ran for that. I couldn’t risk getting locked in and not be able to pick up Dustin from daycare. I was almost to the door when the service elevator opened up, and there stood this little boy with the biggest brown eyes I'd ever seen.” 

Steve took Eddie’s other hand and squeezed. He almost didn’t feel it, he was going numb with shock. Why were they doing this to him? It was all too much. It couldn’t be true.

His aunt paused, smiling to herself a little, and looked Eddie full in the face. He stared back at her, frozen and wide-eyed. “Your hair was buzzed and, gosh, you were so skinny, standing there in nothing but a hospital gown and socks. I didn’t even think about it, I grabbed your hand and pulled you right out that door with me before we could get locked in. We made it to my car, I got you into the passenger seat and you turned to me full of tears and said ‘They’re all dead’.”

Eleven sniffled and he felt Steve reach over behind him with his other arm to comfort her. Eddie was too frozen to do anything but keep hold of her hand. It was all he could manage to do as his entire life, as he knew it, crumbled in front of him.

“I don’t know what came over me that day, I knew something wasn’t right about the whole thing and so I took you home. You didn’t talk much at first. You didn’t know your name, or maybe you didn’t have one. Your only identifying mark was a small tattoo on the inside of your wrist of...”

“Stop.” Eddie choked out. He couldn’t let her say the number, it would make it all too real. He was Eddie Munson, nothing more. No matter what anyone said.  “I don’t want to know.” 

Dustin, seeming to have lost his patience, finally spoke up. He sounded furious. “Okay, I don’t know why you’re doing this, mom, but it isn’t funny anymore!”

“Hush.” Wayne warned.

“Please, just let me finish.” She pleaded, continuing on when no one said a word. “I didn’t know how I would be able to hide you, everyone knew I only had one child and it was difficult enough having him on my own. I called the only person I knew I could trust. Wayne and I actually are distant cousins, and we’ve been best friends all our lives. He agreed to take you in, and even came up with a convincing backstory to explain your sudden presence.” 

Wayne cleared his throat. “My older brother dropped out of school and moved away as a teenager. He got into a bad crowd and wound up in jail more than once, so It was no stretch to believe he’d gotten some poor girl knocked-up somewhere in the mix. I told people you were his, that you’d come to live with me because he was locked up and no one knew where your mom was. We figured out pretty quickly that you were special. You knew things, before we could even tell you. The first time you saw Dusty you called him by name. You knew things about my brother, the man we pretended was your father. You even pointed him out in a photograph all on your own, like you already knew what he looked like.” 

Eddie managed to break out of his stupor long enough to interrupt. “Hold on, why don’t I remember any of this? I would have been what, 9, 10 years old?”

“Honey, you were so traumatized.” Claudia said. “You couldn’t tell us anything about where you’d come from before winding up in that lab. We explained the cover story to you and I think after a while your brain tricked itself into thinking it was true, and started filling in the gaps. You would tell these stories about things you remembered from your childhood. We knew it had to be stuff you read about in books or saw on tv, but you were so happy and we just didn’t have the heart to question it or correct you. What good would it have done? If that was how you needed to cope, then who were we to stop it.”

Eddie stared down at the scar on his wrist. He’d gotten it falling off his bike, he knew that. He remembered doing it…didn’t he?

“You did that in your sleep one night.” Wayne said, softly. “It looked like you just scratched and scratched until you had removed a layer of skin. It bled like a son of a bitch, I know it had to hurt but you never complained and you never did anything like it again so I let it go. I think somewhere in the back of your mind you knew it wasn’t safe to walk around marked like that.”

“But…I…I thought we made all of it up?” Dustin breathed.

“Yea, buddy. So did I.” Eddie pulled his hands out of Steve and El’s grasps and tugged roughly at his hair, rocking back and forth in place. A sound spilled over his lips, a laugh that cracked and ended in a sob. He jumped up out of his seat abruptly and ran for the door. “I need some air.”

Eddie flew out of the trailer and down the steps, making a beeline for the trees. He didn’t look back to see if anyone had followed him out. There was a spot, not too deep in the woods, where he liked to go sometimes. He dragged an old picnic table out there a few years ago and he came out there often to smoke or just hang out during the day when Wayne was trying to sleep before work.

He stumbled into the clearing, breath coming in gasps and chest heaving. His vision swam and he fell to the ground hard on his knees. A hand landed on his back and Eddie didn’t even have the capacity to jump in surprise. Someone was there, talking to him in low soothing tones, encouraging him to take deep, slow breaths, in and out. He tried to concentrate on the voice, and not the overwhelming noise in his head. Slowly, he let his whole world narrow down to just the small space where he knelt. He let himself feel the hand that was on him, reassuring him, steadying him. It was warm, much more so than the cool early morning air that stirred around them. He listened to the voice and sank into it, willing his heartbeat to slow to a normal level, or at least a little less frantic than a trapped animal.

“That’s it Eddie, you’re okay, you’re doing so well.”

It was Steve, he realized. Had sort of known it the whole time, even if he refused to process it at first. 

“You shouldn’t be out here.” Eddie managed to croak out. His throat was tight, still thick with the panic that was slowly dissipating. 

“It’s early, I doubt many of your neighbor’s are awake yet.”

Steve helped him up, and Eddie let him. They sat together, side by side on the table’s bench, staring out at the trees in silence. 

“There’s more, isn’t there?” Eddie said finally, after a period of time that felt both like hours and just a few minutes.

“Yea, there’s a lot more I think I need to tell you, things that need…figuring out, but it can wait. You’ve had enough revelations for today.”

“Why did you ask me about the picture Will drew?” Eddie didn’t really want to ask, he was afraid he already knew the answer, but he had to know. He'd been wondering about it ever since Steve woke up.

“The uh demidogs..”

“Demodogs” Eddie corrected, mostly out of habit.

“Right, demodogs. They’re real. I’ve fought them.”

“Bullshit.” Eddie said, though there was no oomph behind the word. It was the answer he’d expected after all, he just didn’t want to believe it.

Steve twisted so his back was facing Eddie. He grabbed a handful of his borrowed shirt and pulled it up over his head in one smooth motion. Eddie gasped. He wasn’t too far gone to realize that Steve Harrington was stripping half naked in front of him, but that wasn’t what made him react. Running the length of Steve’s back, from the top of his shoulder blades to the dip above his waistband were 4 deep claw marks. They were healed, though not that old. It was a hell of a scar. 

Eddie reached out without thinking, stopping short before his fingers could graze the other boy's skin, but Steve must have felt the heat of his proximity.

“It’s okay, if you want to touch. They don’t hurt anymore.”

He lightly ran a finger down one of the marks. He’d been right about the wounds being deep. The skin was puckered, indented in some areas where the stitches hadn’t been tight enough, or had been pulled before Steve was fully healed. 

Eddie gulped. “What happened?”

“El was trying to close a gate in the lower level of the lab.” Steve started.

“It was swarming with dogs, and you protected her?” Eddie guessed.

“Yes.” Steve confirmed. He didn’t seem surprised that Eddie had known. “Did that happen in your game too?”

“I imagine most of the story went a lot different than in reality, but it sounds like the final showdown was about the same, except it was someone else protecting her.”

Steve nodded, like he got it, as if any of this insane shit made sense. He pulled the shirt back over his head and turned to face him again.

“What else?” Eddie asked.

Steve started to tick them off on his fingers. “The demogorgon, though I haven't seen one myself, something I think you called the mind flayer, and ..”

“This is completely crazy! How is any of this possible?” Eddie bemoaned.

“El grew up in the lab too, and she has powers. She said all of the..subjects did. It’s more than likely that you have some sort of extra abilities too. Your aunt said you knew things.” Steve shrugged. “Maybe that has something to do with it.”

Eddie had been trying to ignore that part of the day’s discoveries, he wasn’t sure how he felt about the prospect of having powers, but he would have to stop running from it eventually. 

“I had nightmares about them all. Every monster we’ve used in the game is something I literally dreamed up. I mean, the boys ran their own campaigns for the most part, but they were young. I always helped. I played other characters for them, made suggestions all the time, and I always came up with the big bad of the session. I had no idea that any of it was real.”

“You couldn’t have known, Eddie. You’re right. It’s unbelievable.”

“Part of me wishes I could remember, but mostly? I just wish it was all a lie. It’s too much, man.” Eddie’s breath hitched, and this time he couldn't hold back the tears that were building. He hunched forward, curling in on himself as he squeezed his eyes shut, and let himself cry.

Steve wound his arms around Eddie and pulled him tightly to his chest. It didn’t matter that they were merely acquaintances, classmates who weren’t even friends really. In that moment, Steve Harrington was Eddie’s only tether to the world, and he held on for dear life. 

They stayed like that, holding each other much too tightly, until Eddie’s body no longer shook, and his tears slowed to a stop. He pulled back slowly, rubbing his face on his sleeve and mumbling apologies.

“I said I would be here for you, Eddie. I meant that. I get it, what you said about wishing it wasn’t true. I know it’s not exactly the same, but overnight my life got turned on its head, all because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Except, I don't think it was wrong. If I hadn’t found El, If I hadn't helped her, who knows what would have happened to her back then, or where she’d be now. I know all of this shit has thrown my life into chaos, but I've had a lot of time to think about it, and I can honestly say I'd do it all again to be there for her, to have Eleven in my life.”

“She means a lot to you.”

“She’s my little sister now, I love her. She’s my family.”

Eddie blew out a long breath. He was still feeling a little unreal, but his brief breakdown had calmed something inside him. He felt like maybe he could finally face this new truth about himself.

“I think I'm ready to go back, Wayne’s probably worried.”

They made the walk back quickly, wanting to get Steve out of sight from prying eyes as soon as possible. Uncle Wayne was standing outside on the porch, waiting, and Hopper's truck was parked in front of the trailer. 

Steve patted Eddie’s arm and continued on inside, giving him and his uncle some privacy.

They stared at each other for a long minute, until finally Wayne surged forward, drawing Eddie into a fierce hug. 

“This changes nothing. You are my boy and I love you. We’re still your family.”

“I know, Wayne. I love you too.”

Chapter 8

@penny00dreadful @steddie-there @yeahhhh-suga @goinsteddie @brbsoulnomming @the-s-is-silent @paintsplatteredandimperfect @estrellami-1 @herebedragons404 @epiclazershark @iaminmultiplefandoms @mentallyundone @hardboiledleggs @manda-panda-monium @ellietheasexylibrarian @sofadofax @5ammi90 @meccaminayah @bestwifehaver @eddie-munsons-lunchbox @soaringornithopter @buckleybarnes 

[abstractnaturaldisaster]

Steddie Flower Shop / Tattoo Parlor AU

I’m so sorry this is an angsty one again but it ends hopefully (and the whole fic ends happy I promise, no bummers 2k23). 

Part One I Part Two I Part Three I Part Four I Part Five I Part Six I Also on AO3!

Robin was running late. It wasn’t unusual but she did try to make an effort for Steve who was way too understanding about it. She had overslept and by the time she was up, Steve had already made a pot of coffee and left for the studio. Robin poured the rest into a travel mug and sped out the door texting Steve she was on her way. 

“Steve! I’m so sorry I totally missed my alarm.” She said as she ran back into the small back office. 

“It’s all good,” Steve answered. He seemed off to Robin. She started getting set up at the front to go through and organize Steve’s books and work on the shop’s instagram when she noticed that Steve hadn’t picked up Eddie’s flowers yet. 

“Are you going to grab lunch with Eddie today?” Robin asked. 

“Oh, no. Probably not. I mean he’s probably busy with Valentine’s orders or whatever.”

Robin knew something was wrong then. Steve and Eddie had been hanging out pretty regularly since their happy hour and Robin couldn’t remember the last time they didn’t at least drop off lunch for each other on busy days. “Do you need to run over to pick up your bouquet? The front desk is looking a little bare.”

“Not today, Robs.” Steve answered. 

“Okay, Steve, now I know something is wrong. What’s up? Did Eddie do something?”

“No, I mean. It’s nothing. It doesn’t matter.” Steve said. 

“Steve, I’m here if you need me.” Robin patted his shoulder. 

“I just thought he was different. Like he got what I was doing here, Robin,” Steve sighed. “I mean we were hanging out and I showed him some of my sketches of his flowers and told him how much I think they’d be a great tattoo for him and I dunno he got super standoffish about it. He just kind of left and honestly I can’t deal with trying to validate myself and my art to someone else. I’m just so tired of it.” 

Robin took Steve in a tight hug. “I’m so sorry, babe. He seemed like he wouldn’t be the type. I had no idea.”

“It’s fine, Robin. I mean I guess I should have expected it with his whole metal vibe or whatever.” Steve said. “I’ll be okay. I’m mostly used to it. I gotta go get ready for my client.” Steve stood and walked out of the back room to start preparing the space for his appointment. 

Robin was at a loss. Eddie had honestly seemed so different from the last few people Steve had been interested in. She felt like she was missing pieces. Robin didn’t want to betray Steve’s trust but also she didn’t want Steve to lose Eddie. She decided to text Chrissy a code red to meet at a coffee shop nearby asap. 

Chrissy showed up shortly after Robin had ordered and sat down. “Hey Robin. I’m going to hear you out because you’re my friend out but I’m pretty pissed at Steve.”

“We’re on the same page, Chris. I had half a mind to go yell at Eddie first but I’m worried about Steve and I think maybe there’s something he’s missing.” Robin said. “Can we just talk through what happened? I have a feeling our boys are being purposefully dense about something.”

“I didn’t get much out of Eddie. He was in quite the mood this morning. But I can maybe help decipher some of the Eddieisms,” Chrissy answered. 

“Perfect. Okay so here’s what I know. Steve and Eddie were hanging out last night. Steve’s been working on these sketches of Eddie’s flowers because he’s terrible at expressing his feelings like a normal person. I guess he showed them to Eddie and Eddie gave him shit about it when Steve said he’d like to tattoo Eddie.”

“All I got out of Eddie was that he thought Steve was a pretentious shit about tattoos. He was grumbling all morning about rich kids and not understanding growing up without access to everything.”

Robin was starting to put the pieces together. Steve had grown up in a pretty wealthy suburb of Chicago and his parents had supported him for most of his life. It was only when he’d decided to become a tattoo artist that he lost that support and he was still a little bit of an idiot about money. 

“Chrissy, I’m going to share something pretty personal about Steve and I’m only doing this because I think this was all a giant misunderstanding and if you or Eddie use this information to hurt Steve they will never find your bodies.”

“Understood.” Chrissy answered. 

“So, Steve doesn’t ever tattoo friends or family. It’s something he has held absolutely firm on since he apprenticed. He tells people it’s because he doesn’t want to have to look at his work all the time or jokes that he’d just find flaws in it and want to fix it. Knowing Steve, I think that’s just part of the issue. I think he’s scared to give something so permanent to someone. He’s had a lot of people just leave him and I don’t think he could stand it if he tattooed a friend and they left. He takes his work super seriously. I know he can come off as an asshole but he’s had to build up a pretty thick skin doing the type of tattoos he does. He’s gotten a lot of shit for being too feminine. It sounds like he took whatever reaction Eddie had to their talk yesterday as a rejection of him. Steve’s worked so hard to be comfortable with himself and he definitely already thought Eddie was way too cool for him so I think his ego is probably a little bit bruised.” Robin knew she had been monologuing so she took a breath she hadn’t noticed she’d been holding and drank some of her coffee. 

“Robin, I can’t promise anything, but I will talk to Eddie.”

“That’s all I want. I’m sorry I know this is a super weird place for us to be but I think maybe the guys just need a little help getting over themselves.” Robin said. 

Chrissy was glad Robin had told her about what Steve said. Eddie was kind of closed book but before he’d gotten to know Steve, Eddie would be a little judgy about the fancy studio and the cost. Eddie had tattoos but they were mostly things friends gave him in exchange for his help moving or to commemorate a big show or something. He’d never really had money to invest in any bigger tattoos. Chrissy knew Eddie hadn’t grown up rich but other than that her knowledge of his childhood was pretty limited. Even over the years Chrissy had known Eddie she’d only picked up small pieces of Eddie’s upbringing. He didn’t share a lot but he grew up with pretty shitty parents. His mom had died when Eddie was pretty young so when his dad went to prison at some point Eddie went to live with his uncle in a trailer park in the Chicago suburbs. His uncle didn’t have much but he made a home for Eddie. Chrissy thought something Steve had said to Eddie hit a little too close to his past and Eddie’s defenses had shot back up. She didn’t know if she could get him to come back around but Eddie had been noticeably happier with Steve and she figured it was at least worth a try.

“Eddie! I need to talk to you!” Chrissy yelled as she walked back into the flower shop. 

“No time. Heading back out on delivery.” Eddie grumbled as he walked past her out to the van

“Then I’m going with you.” Chrissy jumped into the passenger seat before Eddie could peel out into the street. 

“Fine.”

Chrissy let Eddie stew in silence as the van started up. She was surprised not to hear Eddie’s usual metal soundtrack. Eddie quickly went to pull the cassette out of the tape player but Chrissy had caught enough of the opening to recognize it. 

“Jesus, Eddie. I didn’t know it was You’ve Lost that Loving Feeling, bad.” Chrissy had discovered the Hall & Oates tape shortly after it had been added to the van’s usual rotation of cassettes. When she asked about it, Eddie had blamed Steve with a goofy smile on his face. 

“Chris, not today.” 

“Can I say one thing and then we can go back to not talking about it?” Chrissy asked. 

“Fine.”

“Okay great. Robin told me about something that happened between you and Steve last night. I know it’s your business and I promised to leave it alone but I am just here to give information. It’s up to you if you do anything with it. First, I know we made fun of all the pretentious hipster vibes of Steve’s shop when he first moved in but I really thought you of all people would know not to judge a book by its cover. Second, you have to know Steve is super into you by now. I mean y’all are basically always together if you’re not working.”

“That’s not true. I do other stuff.” Eddie interrupted. 

“Sure, whatever you say. Stop interrupting me. I know you’re sensitive about your past and I also know you haven’t said anything to Steve about your parents so do you think you might have been a little harsh last night?”

Eddie has pulled into their first stop and jumped out of the van to make the drop off. Chrissy waited for him to get back. 

“One more thing, and then I promise you can blare whatever shitty break up song you need to for the rest of the day. I think maybe you’re pushing Steve away because he scares you. It’s been forever since you’ve been with anyone seriously. Steve seems so good for you. I don’t know what he said that made your walls slam back up but maybe he didn’t mean it the way you thought he did? You’re kind of an intimidating person to be vulnerable with.”

Chrissy let Eddie process what she said for the rest of the delivery route. They got back to the shop late and started closing up. When Chrissy had packed up for the day she went to give Eddie a hug and held him close for a little longer than usual. 

“I’m here if you need me but please just sleep on it before you make any rash decisions?” Chrissy said as she let go of Eddie.

Eddie nodded and went back to cleaning up his work bench to get ready for another day of Valentine’s induced hell. It was absolutely the worst time for Eddie to have any sort of relationship drama because he’d be surrounded by love hearts for a least two more days. Eddie laughed at himself for that. He’d have to actually have been in a relationship to have relationship drama. He was an idiot. Steve reminded Eddie of his worst high school bullies. The guys who called him trailer trash and pushed him into lockers after Eddie had been caught kissing a guy under the bleachers. Logically, Eddie knew Steve wasn’t that way. He had obviously had to deal with his own shit coming up in the tattoo industry. Eddie still hadn’t been able to shake his old feelings of inadequacy when Steve asked if he wanted an “actual” tattoo. He’d felt people’s gaze lingering on his shitty stick and pokes he’d done with friends or let people use him for practice. He’d overheard the comments people made when he went to deliver flowers at fancy office buildings. Eddie hadn’t felt that same level of judgment from Steve but he figured it was just a matter of time. Steve obviously put a lot of time and effort into his tattoos and he must think badly about Eddie’s more cavalier attitude to the markings. 

As Eddie cleaned, he kept working through last night at Steve’s. Chrissy was probably right and that Steve hadn’t meant anything negative and just used the exact wrong phrasing. In fact, looking back, Steve seemed super nervous and worried about Eddie’s reaction. Why Steve was anxious Eddie had no idea. Steve’s sketch was probably the most beautiful tattoo idea he’d ever seen. He’d be honored to get something like from Steve. But of course Eddie hadn’t actually said any of that to Steve after he started freaking out. Stupid.

As Eddie made his way upstairs to get to bed, he was truly exhausted but he couldn’t stop thinking about what Chrissy had said on their afternoon delivery route. Fuck. He owed Steve a pretty big apology. That had to be tomorrow Eddie’s problem; he was too tired to handle it now. Eddie drifted off to sleep thinking about Steve’s feet in his lap and maybe future nerdy movie nights while crossing his fingers he hadn’t fucked up too badly yesterday. 

***

Part Eight! 

I am at such a loss for word that y’all are still hanging with me! I think there’s going to be three more parts of the main story and then maybe some side plots in the same universe. After I wrap up on tumblr I’ll post it to AO3 so it’s all in one place for future reading! c:

I am also obsessed with the big green couch and I am very happy to you all appreciate it to. 

My taglist got super messed up last update so please let me know if I’ve missed anyone or added anyone by accident! Y’all are the best!!

Taglist: @a-little-unsteddie @maya-custodios-dionach @eboyawstenn @swimmingbirdrunningrock @sadcanadianwinter @thehumblefigtree @throwbackthrowaway @micheledawn1975 @blisschaoss @vecnuthy @grimmfitzz @spectrum-spectre @croatoan-like-its-hot @momotonescreaming @beckkthewreck @korixae @citrus-owl @baron-zemo-trash @sleepdeprivedflower @nuagedemots @lololol-1234 @books-and-current-obsessions @acrolius @mightbeasleep @vi-an-te @gregre369 @i-must-potato @vampireinthesun  @steveisabicon @child-of-cthulhu @whimsicalwitchm @aceflavouredyougurt @that-bi-gremlin99 @oxidantdreamboat @goodolefashionedloverboi @notaqueenakhaleesi @briceslayed @raisedbylibrarians @bejeweledbaby @avacrebs @magpiemuseum @majesticenbypancake 

[connoisseursdecomfort]

A character study - on Twilight, love, and denial

I was thinking how Operation Strix is probably the best way to get Twilight to accept that he could have normal emotions and human connections again, and therefore is really the best thing that has happened in his life.

It’s not because no one has loved and cared for him after he became Twilight. It’s just, he has been in so much pain. It’s hard to imagine how he lived for a decade where nothing is real. All he had is pain and that one hope that the war might stop one day. I don’t think he has ever felt safe enough to love and be loved since he lost everything in war.

Now, I’m not saying it’s a good way for parents to do, but he kinda reminds me of how parents would put food children don’t like, like veggies, into minced meat or something like that so they would eat it, and hopefully they would grow to like it. Twilight is that kid. He is a workaholic who’s not looking for love. He only wants to work. And Operation Strix is the meat to lure him in. 

(Manga spoilers ahead)

There is that one panel in [redacted]’s arc that probably showed you how difficult his life was after losing his mother. “He lived like a rat.” He wasn’t this beloved child who could find comfort in his mother’s arms anymore. He was thrown into this cruel world. Then he joined the army, and in the army he was recruited. 

It is highly possible he has never dated anyone before he became Twilight. He was too preoccupied by hate. And then he became a spy in hope to reverse his own bad decisions, or even, the bad decisions both Ostania and Westalis made that had led to all the tragedies he suffered. 

He has been Twilight for over a decade. All the people and things he has really loved before he became Twilight is gone. Every romantic relationship he’s had ever since he become Twilight is an illusion. He operates under aliases after aliases until one day he forgot his own name. He dated several women when he’s on his missions, but it’s very likely he only sees them as work-related. And he is a workaholic. He doesn’t necessarily like what he’s doing - he only likes the fact that he’s working for the greater good. So we often see how he sees work - his only goal is to make it simple and get it over with. It is kinda safe to assume that he never had emotional attachments that are real and tangible other than the love he received from his mother and his friends. Those are the only kinds of emotional attachment he has ever come to know. His previous experiences with women are most likely unpleasant - in previous missions, if he’s forced to resort to honey trapping, most probably the best scenario is that he dates a terrible woman (aka Karen) so he doesn't walk away with too much guilt - he does show a teeny bit of regret for betraying his target’s trust.

That is why you could not win Twilight over if you present yourself as a love interest. Nightfall would still not win his heart even if she gets to be Twilight’s wife, because her priority would always to be Twilight’s wife first, then Anya’s mother. From his past experience, romantic love = mission = means to an end = lies and cover-ups = breakups. With all the missions he has to complete and the traumatic past, it’s hard to imagine he would be that eager to find love.

So Yor comes in in a peculiar way. Is Yor related to work? Yes, but also quite far removed from it. It is truly the perfect setting for Twilight. She’s not his target so he doesn’t need to become anyone for her, and it is not even necessary for her to become his work partner so with her he can literally let her be and doesn’t need to worry about reports and coordinations and strategies. She is that rare breed in his life - I saw it somewhere that she is more like his roommate. She could help feed the cat Anya but that’s not really her responsibility. And Yor is just this nice roommate he doesn’t need to worry about - she always seems happy to help but she also keeps a respectable distance. She chose to become more of a mother to Anya, but she didn’t use Anya to get closer to Twilight. Most of the time, when Twilight’s there with Anya, it would be Twilight watching TV and doing homework with her. Yor doesn’t butt in. And Yor probably has the personality so blunt and gullible he wouldn’t see her as someone threatening - she doesn’t remind him of work at all. She reminds him of home. And this all happens in a place he deliberately makes to be as homely (as he sees it) and safe (for a spy) as possible.

But that is still not why he caught feelings. It’s just how he could get relaxed enough to “slip”. He starts to catch feelings because he could see and feel the love Yor radiates as a mother for Anya. That is something he is able to connect, and that is something he knows is real. That allows him to see beyond the mission and start to see Yor as who she really is. He relates to her. We always focus on how Yor thinks he understands her, but we know he sees him in her too. He sees someone who is eager to protect and willing to sacrifice for people she loves and cares about. And he sees that she has secrets, and how the secrets burden her, so he hopes she can make friends and share the burden with others, even if it's not him. He admires her strength and feels her pain. And she is able to soothe him. She makes him feel better about the situation and even himself when his spy mind is going overload. She sees him as this tired man and tries hard to make his life easier. She doesn’t always succeed but he certainly appreciates it. In turn, he tries to go on dates with her to cheer her up.

You see, it doesn't matter if he knows he’s falling in love or not. It is possibly a good thing that he thought Yor had rejected him. The more he is able to lie to himself, or the deeper he is in denial, the deeper he allows himself to fall into love. If you don’t shove love in his face, his brain would not go “honey trapping? spy? work? mission?” and he would continue to turn a blind eye on everything so he can continue to keep his guard down. He is that frog in the boiling frog except he doesn’t jump out because he lies to himself that the water is not hot at all. Because poor froggy has been left in the cold for too long. He misses the warmth. 

[lialovesstuff]

It's so interesting to me, as I grow older to see how some of the reactions these kids have are very mild considering that they go through the most traumatising experiences.

I was listening to the anubis backwards podcast interview with Brad Kavanagh (which if you are an anubis fan I highly recommend you go check out because it is super interesting), and he did mention something about how the reactions had to fall in line with the fact that it is still a kid's show. So the reactions could never be too strong.

Taking this, it makes me think about how mentally distressed these students are but they could never really express that because of the PG nature of the show. Having recently rewatched the show I realised how traumatising the things that happen to these kids are and how irl these things would affect a person mentally, but sometimes it makes you angry that these things are sort of just brushed under the carpet.

I want to start off by talking about my girl Patricia. She was gaslit by everyone around her, kidnapped, betrayed by the people whom she trusted would take care of her, has no memory of what we can assume is weeks of her life, and based on the whole Piper situation we can possibly assume she feels neglected or overshadowed. I think this is what leads her to not be vulnerable in front of anyone. Yet, we don't see her express her PTSD at any point after the whole nightmare situation with Rufus. I would have really liked to have seen her PTSD or trauma addressed in some form. For example, how her and Eddie becoming a couple helped her with her nightmares because she finally felt safe with someone and she finally feels like someone believes her and loves her unconditionally.

Then there's Joy. There is so much to talk about when it comes to Joy and I will forever be mad about how the writers address istg maybe 4 times since she came back. She was kidnapped by her own father, betrayed by her teachers, almost sacrificed to some Egyptian cult, had no contact with the outside world, had her education, friends and freedom taken from her at the young age of 16 (I assume), and after all of this still being forced to go back to school and be taught and associate with the people who caused all of this. I really hate how when she came back no one even asked how she feels to be back or just generally checking on her mental health. I’m surprised she went back to that school at all tbh. It was all business as usual and even she didn’t exhibit any ptsd symptoms. I think something as simple as just showing her being terrified of being left in the same room as these teachers would make for an interesting plot point, or talking to Patricia about how she feels scared going back to school. The only time when Joy does exhibit any form of PTSD is when they are forced to wear the robes in S3 and the poor girl literally looks terrified. There’s so much to unpack with Joy, so the last thing I will say is that in S2 I feel like one of her arcs could be learning to deal with the trauma and overcome it. Also it makes me so mad that none of the adults apologised to her.

Moving on to Eddie Miller. This boy has probably dealt with abandonment issues his whole life from his dad leaving. His whole 'rebel' persona probably came about from him not having a male figure in his life and was almost trying to fill that void or not being able to cope with his dad leaving. This is probably why Eddie finds it hard to open up to people, with the first person he truly trusts (besides his mum probably) is Patricia as he says multiple times that he trusts her and he tells her directly that he likes her, which he says himself was not easy for him. He does start to build a relationship with his dad but once again it is something that gets resolved in like 5 minutes and from there they seem to have the building blocks to start building a relationship. This is nice, don't get me wrong, but given that Eddie's dad has been out of his life for years and all it took was a 5-minute convo to get their relationship rolling seems unrealistic. In the conversation, Eddie does say "you didn't want me then, and you don't want me know", which I think is a very deep line for a nick show but still I think irl a boy in Eddie's position would have had a lot more of his true feelings and emotions flow out.

Jerome is a similar case to Eddie. A boy who struggles to reconnect with his father after years. I will say I always thought this arc was really deep for a nick show. A boy finds out his father is in prison and tries to rebuild a connection with him. I do have to say that arc of Jerome rebuilding his relationship with his father has a better pace in comparison to Eddie and his dad, but still, I do imagine a boy discovering his estranged father is in prison would cause a bigger reaction, but once again going back to the idea that it is a kid's show they had to keep his reaction relatively 'neutral'. Also considering that Eugene Simon is a great actor I think he would be able to represent those emotions really well.

Of course, there is still so much to say about all of the characters in the show, but I do find this an interesting observation also in line with what Brad said on the podcast.