#there's so many people who think they're unattractive bc of their bodies

[mono-black-menace]

i find fat ppl attractive but im scared to talk ab it much bc im afraid ppl will accuse me of like fetishism and misinterpret me stuff but im just like. yk? i just think they're attractive features. 😑

[butchwheels]

we, lesbians, are unable to be seduced by men, and therefore we break the gross sexy fantasy men have in their head

in scenarios where they even allow us to be with another woman without too many consequences, of course. if we break it, then it suddenly means we're all dirty ugly nasty dykes who deserve disgust and fear, just girls trying hard to be a man and masculinizing their beautiful bodies, making them unattractive and therefore useless. what's a woman unattractive to men?? she's nothing. she's a ghost. just look at how old women are treated

lesbians, at the end of the day, are wolves in sheep's clothing when surrounded by other women. but we're not bad, we're not evil, we're just feeling the way men are about women, except without the cloud of misogyny. we're not actually wolves (men), we're more like coyotes; we're not men but we dress and act the way that men typically do, we're a threat to male society but also a weak disgusting thing needing to be rehabilitated into liking men. i "steal" their fashion and habits and body hair and masculinity and confidence. i make them feel irked and self-conscious. but honestly, they're mostly upset because we do it all better and our lives don't involve men at all. lesbianism is the single most threatening thing to men. complete disinterest in men. butchness. not feeling attraction to men so not falling for their bullshit bc attraction tends to make you more vulnerable to male manipulation, and lesbians just aren't vulnerable to men's seduction attempts so they can't trick us that way which makes the men very very upset uwu :'( we're such meanies!! our sexuality is oppressive really, it's closeminded, it's rude!!

you know the way that only men can call out other men? dykes calling out men breaks their fucking minds. because they see masculinity and attraction to women as power and strength (bc it involves "subduing a female" and proving their manhood or whatever), and when women steal it, men aren't typically as attracted to them, completely confusing them as though being a weird looking "man." they fucking stare at you like a baby at a dog. in their dumb heads they think, am i supposed to be misogynistic to her? but my upbringing tells me to submit bc she's confidently masculine, and masculinity is power??? they don't know what to do, usually defaulting to becoming aggressive or playing victim and whining on 4chan. often both. lesbians break the entire patriarchal system apart. we are radical as fuck. us existing, women who are not attracted to men and not wanting to be attractive for men, threatens everything the world has revolved on for centuries... namely male power. men fear us (and women want us, oh no!!). and men dating men ALSO threatens the patriarchy, bc men are supposed to be busy dominating women and furthering their bloodline and other bs. gay people are so powerful. gay women are so powerful. we need to embrace our power!!!!! 🏳️‍🌈

[dykefever]

ello laura i do not usually open blocked tags but i did out of curiosity n stumbled across ur post abt the apparent height disk horse that is happening rn (<-blissfully unaware). also this is the ghost of marxismlupinism btw sending as an anon cause on my main blog idk what a semus and ririus is never heard of them cunts.

anyway I wanted to say that yeah basically it's like such a non issue if people are casting r&s into gendered roles, like even if people were genderbending rs into a literal cishet couple I could not care less who gives a shit it's harry potter fanfiction.

that being said I think it's very telling abt the hp fandom that the whole like "writing s as 'feminine' and a bottom comes with him being short" (which btw... i mean I'm sure there's some fanfic like that but I can't say I've really read more than like 5 fics that fit that description? and I've unfortunately read a lot of rs fic lmao... it's literally not hard to avoid. skill issue if you can't filter the fanfic you read to not have it) is portrayed as homophobia against [cis] gay men instead of the obvious transmisogyny it is—ie setting smallness & youth as standards of femininity. that's why so many closeted trans women/trans women who can't access hrt dread growing older, that's why so much emphasis is put on age of transition in transfem spaces, and that's why even gay man spaces have concepts of "twink death", because femininity is understood to be hairless and pretty and dainty and youthful and small and all these standards that are difficult to achieve if you've been through androgenic puberty and/or if you have testes that continue to produce testosterone that continues to masculinise your body as you grow older. portraying s (or any given character ime when it comes to tme fans in fandom spaces) as feminine is seen as going hand in hand with physically feminising him—bc femininity that's not on a feminised body is obviously met with disgust, it's unattractive, it's horrifying, etc. and the obvious source of the tendency to portray feminine male characters this way is that there's only one acceptable form of camab femininity (or "acceptable", even that is very conditional). and yes it does affect cis gays like I said above w how gay men talk about eg "twink death" but that doesn't mean it's not a primarily transmisogynistic impulse to show that, for most of us, femininity is a hopeless cause, it's not allowed, we'll never pass or be beautiful or whatever.

and ftr I'm just complaining, I definitely don't think the solution is to produce More Harry Potter Fanfictions where s is like, tall and hairy and feminine or whatever, knowing the hp fandom I'm sure they'll also turn that into transmisogynistic caricatures too. the only real solution would be for all these ppl to stop reading hp fanfic and start reading transfeminist theory but if ur a harry potter fan in 2023 you're obviously never gonna do that. so. yeah just complaining for the sake of complaining lol not expecting transfeminism to catch on among harry potter fans of all people anytime soon

hi (redacted)!! actually made sure to tag that post so u and all my other normal followers could avoid it but i respect the curiosity x im sure you've probably seen the height discourse many times over in your time in the fandom and it's the same absolute bullshit every time. i appreciate your additions to this post as a transwoman because i obviously don't have that perspective and you've kind of deepened my understanding of the issues around it n how transmisogyny comes into play here!!

in my prev posts i was kind of addressing, albeit likely not clearly, how people often say they dislike 'short s' as a kind of shorthand for saying they dislike 'fem s', which is really saying (as people dig themselves deeper in their explanations) that they don't like certain aspects of 'femininity' in a man and then spin it to say that it's because they're writing a heteronormative relationship onto a gay couple. i appreciate what you're saying here as well of the issues of the only way to write s as feminine is like small, dainty, hairless etc. and how that is an issue of transmisogyny rather than like homophobia. (correct me if i've misunderstood tho!!)

at the end of the day it definitely like, doesn't matter how people are writing hp characters like no great and impressive change is happening and the fandom is full of too many transphobes for that to be the case. i just don't understand why people are so pressed by these certain characterisations they appear to dislike so bad when i genuinely barely come across these s characterisations they apparently can't escape. like i don't see anything i don't want to because i just unfollow and block people ....it is not that hard like...

anyway thank u for ur contributions ghost of marxismlupinism, i appreciate it xx godspeed xx

[doomeddiary]

I pretty recently came across one of those ask game posts and in the format of "what color am i" with an edited png full of custom responses by the op and many of them were racy~~~ (breeding+watersports+more uwu) but one of them said something along the lines of "i want you to kidnap me and turn me into a snuff film star" and that made me go hmmm. Let me go and check this blog and see if what im feeling is the internal ping of intuitive pattern recognition or if this is something else, and as I'd come to find out no, miss mamas did have incest+rape paraphilias. Sad! Demoralizing! Blocked immediately! But i was still thinking about it.

(Readmore bc this gets long and rambly and tmi, cw for discussion on sexualized violence and mildly self fellating reflection over the nature of it and whatnot)

And i was thinking on how the first thing that made me pause was the innocent almost coquettish usage of "snuff" as a sexy fun cute concept, and trying to figure out what was the difference between her fetishization and eroticizing of violence and my own sexual proclivities.

Like being tmi open and honest mask off etc etc, I am heavily into bdsm, and i also love body horror. i adore blood and gore and guts and whatnot on an aesthetic and sexual level. It is largely fantasy as many of the plays id like to do are not safe or sane and i take safety very seriously, but its still something i know i am deeply attracted to and find erotic to fantasize about. So I did notice the parallels of my own deviant~ sexual tastes and hers, and i was upset and uncomfortable with those similarities bc again miss mamas is out here posting about wanting to rape st*ve h*rrington off ST like EEP... JEEPERS! and i wanted to unpack that thought and what real differences there were between these kinds of fantasies, and while my friends reassured me with "nooo youre into it differently/they're just doing it different" i didn't like the vagueness, because what is the difference?

And well I figured out pretty quickly and swiftly that it is ofc consent, which is funny given the context of "how are thy violent sexual fantasies different from thine" but yeah, while I am very into the idea of gore and blood and mutilation, it's only if like, my sub is also into it. And that they're miraculously ok afterwards. I am barred from ever being able to do any of my dream plays in real life because it would not be safe and anyone who would consent to them would probably have such a damaged or altered state of mind that any "consent" would be null and void so while its slightly embarrassing to admit, most of the time i envision fictional characters who are functionally unkillable due to some kind of heal ability or resurrection mechanic where they're not only able to enthusiastically consent but theyre ALSO ok afterwards! And its not my sole source of pleasure, i like vanilla sex as much as anyone, but it is one of those things that i know i love but will never indulge in, because i cannot and will not seriously maim or injure another person.

Anyways, all that to say that whenever i run across the "snuff as a cute sexy thing" girlies its pretty clear that the finality and lack of consent is the main draw. The idea of having your autonomy stripped from you or others as it would happen in real life is what is attractive and that will just never sit right with me, it is so clearly unsettling and unattractive to me. And yes, on its face they are both violent sexual fantasies that she likely won't be indulging in either, and I do not doubt that most regular everyday people would find my proclivities just as frightening no matter how fervently i reiterated how I'd never hurt a fly etc etc, but to me, the fetishization of removing consent is a significant aspect.

So, returning to the "snuff" aspect. The way i see it and rationalize it to myself, these kinds of crimes of violent misogyny and femicide happen literally everyday and are not titillating and having that kind of violence and removal of consent be such a central part of your sexuality is different, it changes the context of everything, I don't care anymore that it's just a "fantasy" because what you're really fantasizing about is emblematic at its core of the real violence worldwide. No fucking wonder she also had incest+rape paraphilias. Anyways.

tl;dr my sexualized violent fantasy is better than yours because the people in my imaginary fantasy fully consent and are having fun and we're all going to kiss and cuddle afterwards

[trans-advice]

hi,im a trans boy whos been very dysphoric lately. many people around me are transphobic and i dont think any adult around me would be safe to come out to. my mom is very misinformed. i dont own any binders and the ones produced in my country are very low quality. my country is also very anti-lgbt. my experiences are always dismissed bc im 13. any sort of help would be greatly appreciated!

sorry this took so long to answer, but the research was tricky & i decided to say what you need to research instead of being specific.

my experiences are always dismissed bc im 13

there is no magic age where transphobes will respect trans people. a thing conservatives love to do is say they do not understand what we say not out of ignorance but as an expression of basically saying they out rank us. we see this not only in internet arguments, but we also see it institutional pushout. generally, pointing out that abusers break rules won't necessarily help you.

this might be a bit USA-centric, but i'm assuming this is a frequent dynamic outside of USA too. powerful abusers such as bosses will focuses on their own intent instead of their impact because justice systems tend to base lying on intention to deceive instead of the injury of "mistakenly" spreading misinformation. they'll plead ignorance even when they're supposed to know better & they'll design their institutions to where there a failure to communicate can be excused at most a structure error but better for them would be to get the legal system to think it was a different employee's fault instead of the position was designed so that when they go through recruitment again, then they'll still have a fall guy. This is because even though the powerful abusers want to be actively ignorant, the law (which under in most parts of the world is a racial capitalist patriarchy where the legal system is made by & to the benefit of the people at the top of that heirarchy) rewards ignorance as if malice wasn't malicious. this is why people talk about having allies & accomplices, because you need to organize with other people in your institution.

when pro-lgbt people talk about surviving to a certain age, it's on the basis of having some power to leave anti-lgbt homes (& not be forced back into them), have increased control our bodies & safety, ability to travel etc. i don't know what the anti-lgbt norms say about rites of passage into adulthood in your jurisdiction, and I don't know what rights adulthood will get you. what i'm trying to say is, prioritize your survival because at least you to some degree can then affirm yourself. some of the advice i give therefore won't work until maybe your older.

one of the survival strategies i had, is to leave the house as much as possible during the day & get to places that are okay to hang out for free at in public. this might mean walking, being in libraries, being at restaurants, etc. it can kind of be like being transient, except you go back home where the hostile people around you at night time in order to sleep or whatever. if this requires being around different people who are hostile, then seek to always have an escape plan. the more people there are around you then the better this works. if you're in an area with a lot of traffic then that might work better because there's less of a problem with alienating others. basically a small town or a small school cohort sucks for these sorts of reasons.

also you need to learn about internet security. good news is you used anonymous mode on tumblr, but still. like look into VPN's that don't snitch on/out LGBT+ people. do not use technology to look up lgbt things

many people around me are transphobic and i dont think any adult around me would be safe to come out to. my mom is very misinformed. ... my country is also very anti-lgbt.

yeah i think your intuition is correct with that. personally growing up i basically refused to date people & i would seek to make myself unattractive & keep people at a distance. i do not know what methods of resistance you have, but your goal is to basically either get to a safe space/place for lgbt people (whether that's within your country or if it's out of it. perhaps figuring out how to get a job that you can use to get to a pro-lgbt place?) & or keep connection with lgbt resources online. marriage is not a good strategy for developing a safe space because that tends to lead to relationships where you're severely depending on your partner, which can get abusive regardless of whether it's you or them.

as for chest binding, there are chest binding methods that use sweaters & sports bras instead of actual chest binders. be very careful though. these were considered dangerous before good binders became more widely available.

in general never use tape for binding. there are some tapes that have been developed as specialties but even then the feedback is mixed.

also consider looking into body slimmers. they're kind of like binders except they focus more on the belly. maybe you can get some use from those depending on what you get & how your body is.

if possible, then seek to get a job. if possible get a bank account in your own name. if possible, then keep some of your necessities safe in places outside your home. if possible, start figuring out various discrimination laws & recognize while your doing that that the law doesn't get rid of the discrimination, it just makes it more expensive to discriminate or else criminalize it (depends on your jurisdiction). in general, human resources is a type of cop, they're not a therapist. their job is not to get justice, is to minimize disruptions to the making of profit. a job interview is an interrogation/screening. look into how human resources works in your country with regards to when they'll fire people.

if you were in usa, then i'd recommend looking into the various prison pipelines, such as the school to prison pipeline, or the abuse to prison pipeline, etc. i know other countries have these pipelines too, but i'm not articulated enough to elaborate. either way, learn history about your local area & keep in mind that all information is biased, it's just a matter of which biases.

good luck, peace & love,

eve

[ambiguousdisorderken]

personal stuff 🙃 do ignore 💙

so tuesday im going to the gyn and actually expecting a pcos diagnosis (and rooting for it can you believe) . from what i've read in most cases patients get birth control prescribed to help balance their hormones and i guess that would help with my symptoms as well. but i went down a reddit thread, as one does, and there are some bc experiences there i would not like to go through thank you very much. i know so many people take for different reasons and they do alright but i swear my body has a knack for doing a crappy job whenever one has to be done :/

another thing is. god fuck.. is pcos gendered 🙄 not helpful, makes me angry to even do research. like. whatever but also why. anecdote: i've heard irl/online happy comments saying the pill made their breasts bigger.. . boy. i do Not want that. i have enough issues as it is without having to worry about a cleavage situation. again. i have a whole chapter dedicated to that kinda trauma.

how do you go about pcos treatment seeking with a doc when you aren't a cis woman whose primary concern has no relation to yours ? i was on the pill like 5 years ago and idk if it helped (more issues ha) or if in the long run it was a contributing factor in the awful nosedive my mental health took when i stopped taking it. some say it only masks the symptoms but then what, take it forever? it wouldn't be so unattractive a prospect if it weren't for the low to non-existent sex drive and the mood swings i think i remember having back in the day. plus. who has the money. not me rn. i feel so whiny and pathetic complaining about this, apologies i guess. my only excuse is that i put this mess of a rant under a read more, if you're here that's on you

fuck. i don't know what the point of this post is tbh. i wish i could chug some metformin to deal with some symptoms and call it a day but my last panel showed regular blood sugar levels and most other results were fine as well. and then what if they're like ' oh it's not pcos' , what the fuck is it then .

god. i still need to see the endocrinologist. so far 80% of the times i've gone outside my house this year have been due to doctor visits. stress wise im doing alright but my body is failing me so bad rn or maybe i fucked it up and now it's just a big what the fuck am i supposed to do.. i could go on forever. just. i want to sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep im just so tired

[colesterstrudel]

Mermaid mama, I have a v important question. WHO THE FUCK SAID FAT=UNATTRACTIVE/AN INSULT? Omg wtf even are people like who the fuck sad down and said that my fave thing EVER is when someone who knows they're fat doesn't give two fucks. It's the most amazing thing to me bc to me that means they have the fucking courage to be unapologetically them, ya know? That's something many people, regardless of size cannot do. So maybe that's why some dick decided fat should =unattractive (WHICH IT DOESN'T)

RIGHT LIKE IDK WHO TF DECIDED THAT FAT SHOULD BE USED AS AN INSULT BUT IT FUCKIN SHOULDN’T. BC FAT IS JUST A DESCRIPTOR LIKE IT’S NOT NEGATIVE OR POSITIVE IT JUST IS. AND TO THINK YOU CAN USE SOMEONE’S BODY TYPE AS AN INSULT IS FUCKIN TRASH AND I HATE IT