#theres also a lot of things i didnt touch on here that i think we need to talk about

[toastsnaffler]

everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏

[lemongogo]

[desire-mona]

things abt dps i feel like we dont address enough (photos attached will be shit quality, i took screenshots from yt clips LMAO)

heavily ib @pencileraser1's post abt stuff he noticed n such

the fucking KIDS at welton. the CHILDREN. maybe its just me but i always find myself forgetting that welton isnt a highschool + there are in fact a lot more students than the ones we're focusing on. thats what makes welton so like. evil? to me? they start pushing these kids into a box EARLY.

related, i wouldve LOVED to see how(/if?) keating taught these kids, or rly any other class! he has other classes!!! i think!

ok. of course. neil is a smoker, we've touched on that. but charlie is too?? and he's the one who provides the cigs???? obviously the easy explanation is that he does it to be rebellious and stuff but also Is There Something Else. much to think abt. also wondering where he gets his cigs but thats not rly anything i dont think.

this ones just funny but when mr perry tells the boys they can take a seat and todd simply does not. i KNOW he wasnt sitting before and he needs to unpack and stuff but ITS STILL FUNNY.

"take your seats boys"

"🧍"

also my guilty pleasure is the dps but its todd being anxious video bc man usually crack videos arent my jam but unfortunately i find it so funny

also!!! neil calling his dad sir. obviously its something so glaringly obvious that we dont need to have a discussion abt how theres a disconnect between them. like wow rly thanks mona i didnt know. but come on!!! it makes me sad!!! also they shake hands later in this scene and its the most affectionate/ friendly we see these two get. and its a handshake. and i think what makes it worse is that neil is a SUPER physically affectionate person with his friends. if u watch the movie and pay attention to how often he's touching someone else then ur gonna be like man. he rly was jumping at every opportunity huh.

something about the way neil and the boys act around mr perry makes me view him as more of a drill sargent than anything. everyone immediately stands upon him entering the room. they dont sit until given permission. it rly puts the whole military school thing into perspective but NOT ENOUGH TO SATISFY ME. as much as i hate mr perry, i wanna know what his life was like growing up. this man lived thru the great depression AND wwii, theres stories.

cam's stupid fucking face when keatings behind him larping ghosts. i will never stop talking about how sassy this kid is. the dps redheads go criminally unacknowledged in terms of comedy because OH MY GOD. CAM AND MEEKS WERE SO FUCKING FUNNY??? they both pulled the most dastardly judgemental looks and they make me cackle. a bit earlier in this scene meeks goes full 🙄🤨 on sniffles (tissue kid. i call him sniffles) and it is, without exaggeration, my fav part of the movie.

the fact that i totally thought knox was gonna fall off his bike and eat shit in this scene. it would be so out of place since dps isn't exactly full of physical comedy but GOD i still fully anticipated it. either that or him getting attacked by a bird. theres totally symbolism surrounding birds in this movie btw and idk what to make of it. if any of u lovely ppl have a theory then lmk immediately.

keating so accurately calling cam out being like "is this right is this right. am i walking right." BC YESSS. i will eventually make a fully fledged cam post but to briefly touch on it, i find cam to be very confused on what is right, usually in terms of morals. a whole situation of confusing your personal values with the rules, thinking theyre one in the same, and completely abandoning what u actually believe. unfortunately i think neils death rly amplified that nd is what led him to tattle. cuz cam is still willing to break the rules in the beginning of the movie!! he's outwardly judgemental but he still does it!! much to discuss, i promise i will eventually.

keatings face after todd yawps!!! theres not much to say here he is just so proud!!! sweet little moment!!!! keatpostin!!!!!!!!

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

u guys know im an avid knox hater but this made me giggle. rip knox overstreet u wouldve loved twitch streaming.

THE SPECIFICS OF THIS SHOT. i was gonna make a post a while ago being like "idk i find it funny that the main focus of this shot isnt even one of the poets" and then i realised that WAITTTTTTT THATS THE POINT!!!! keating reached kids besides the poets!!! u didnt have to be in the dead poets society to be affected by the way he taught his classes!!! u just had to be his student!!!!! also i love the fact that the kids who stayed seated r ASHAMED. EMBARRASSED.

the ending shot. oihghgghgg. it was SUCH a choice to set it up this way and honestly i adore peter for making it. this shot is SOOOO UNCOMFORTABLE TO LOOK AT and i love it. when i first watched this i was like "uhm ok interesting choice putting todd between this kids legs but I GET IT. one of the biggest things i remember from the film classes i took is that the way u set up shots is sooo important narratively, and one way to rly push the narrative is the space around a character in a shot. for example! if u have a character on screen surrounded by a TON of negative space then it rly emphasises how alone/ isolated they are. on the other end of the spectrum (the todd spectrum), if you surround a character in a shot with other objects or obstructions, like todd and this kids legs, then it rly emphasises how trapped and confined they are. looking at this makes me feel like. claustrophobic almost, like it's genuinely a bit harder to breathe looking at it. TODD IS STILL TRAPPED IN THAT SCHOOL. YES HE STOOD ON THE DESK AND YES HE NOW HAS THE MOTIVATION TO BE MORE CONFIDENT BC OF NEIL BUT HE! IS STILL! TRAPPED THERE!

more on todd since im on a roll here.

i was also gonna add that we dont rly talk about todd personality wise outside of poetry and anxiety but then i realised, what else is there? we dont really see much about him as a person outside of that, and i think thats the point! todd is constantly overshadowed by his brother, we know that, but i dont think we realise HOW MUCH that ties in with his entire character. quite honestly, outside of poetry and anxiety, ALL we have surrounding todd is his brother and his achievements. and of course! that makes sense! his parents want him to be just like his brother, they dont care about who he is as a person. UGH.

the desk set scene rly is the most insight we'll get into todds actual personality and desires imo, and thats what kills me. he wants a car!!!! get this boy a car!!!!!!!!! we rly see him start to open up before neils death and i wouldve LOVED to get to know todd when he's actually in a place to be himself!! but of course we never got that! sobs.

anywho. thats all i have for now. PLEASE share ur thoughts if u have any pls pls pls. encouraging discussion!! i love love love hearing about the specifics nd stuff, theres soooo much to pick apart abt this movie so i wanna hear everyones thoughts.

[oursidae]

IF YOU INSIST

takes your hands. come on this journey with me. for reference i consider kiryu to be exclusively gay but i feel like a lot of this except one bit also applies when reading him through a bisexual lens also <3 come listen to me talk about the way kiryu touches himself and how it changes throughout his life <3

i think when he was in his 20s he was a hedonist, far less so than nishiki but still, basically a frat boy, a horny 20 yr old. i dont imagine him having any actual sex partners during this time, in fact i think he's a virgin well into his middle age at Least. so he jacked off a lot. usually into his fist. i can see him making a fleshlight with 2 wet sponges and a cup. sometimes he got brave and touched his ass but felt so ashamed of it the days after he would be jumpy around nishiki and any other yakuza. (real yakuza cant like men...camera zooms in on kashiwagi) tldr hes so closeted and has so much internal homophobia it leeches into how he pleasures himself and knowing he might like sex in "unorthodox" ways is frightening in ways he doesnt super understand. ofc over the events of 0 he has bigger things to worry about but 0 is when i think kiryu's attraction to men comes to the forefront, through tachibana. (and also pocket circuit fighter.)

then, he goes to jail for 10 years. i think this period severely stunts him, because we know kiryu loves to just compartmentalize and shove all of the scary feelings down so he can just keep ignoring them, and being an invisible inmate makes that so much easier. any self pleasure he does during and immediately after this time is quick, utilitarian. dry and chafing just getting it over with, you know? any emotion attached to the act is a distant staticky buzz in the back of his mind.

of course im a kazumaji truther so during yakuza 1/kiwami, majima introduces to him a new level of sexual frustration that leads to him exploring pain and masochism by himself. majima doesnt *give* him this fetish, so much as he just opened the locked door to it. he digs his fingers into the cuts and bruises majima leaves on him and turns the shower water up until its scalding because if he didnt do this in the shower he'd pass out after with dried cum on himself. i think his feelings toward majima during this time are frightening spaghetti to him - something im sure irritates majima to no end, majima in my mind is far more assured of himself and who he is and his own sexuality and attraction to other men - and i dont think that kiryu does much in the way of exploration around this time aside from the odd burst of confidence (we were robbed by the banana bar substory.) he might try to touch his ass again here and there but theres still that twist of shame that he cant quite shake. i dont know when exactly i hc him entering a relationship with majima, if at All (i love the angst), but if he is having sex with majima at this time i think that relationship kicks his Growth into overdrive and he overcomes those hurdles a lot easier.

shame, i think, holds kiryu back a lot, because if he is this way, he isnt what is expected of him. if that makes sense. kiryu is supposed to shoulder it all alone and keep the tojo clan from sinking and there isnt room in that power fantasy for taking it up the ass and finding comfort in another mans arms, because this series is rife with toxic masculinity and commentary on it here and there.

on theme with burying his feelings and how peoples expectations of him affect him, kiryu in 2/kiwami 2 is DEEPLY SUICIDAL. like the whole game. if you havent noticed. kiwami 2 is one of my least favorite games of the series so this may color my judgment here a little. i think both kiryu and kaoru were experiencing comphet as their relationship progressed, especially the weird makeout next to her brothers corpse. you do weird things under stress, adrenaline, and trauma, and thats what i chalk this part of the game up to. i dont see him engaging in much, if any, self loving around this time period because of his severe depression, ptsd, and deep desire to end it all. if he does its in the "i might as well" way, or just to make time pass. he might even engage in it in a compulsory way, because he knows he'll feel a little better by the end bc orgasming does that, but its literally just for that purpose, not to Feel Good in a sexual way. just to hurry up and crank one out in the shower so he can get it together enough to get haruka to school.

kiryu has growing to do when he starts raising children and does his best to let go of any predjudices he has, but i think he still struggles with his own attraction to men. he never ever would teach his kids anything but to be kind, even if they find something odd. but he cant afford that kindness to himself. when i was in elementary school, i came home one day and told my mom "today i learned from my friend that gay is when boys like boys and that lesbian is when girls like girls :)" and then...that was that. she was like. "ah. okay... who said that to you? i see. did he say anything else about it?" and she didnt really push me to one conclusion about those facts. thats kind of how i see kiryu navigating some of these conversations. he'd steer them toward the kind option, if they needed it, but sometimes "yeah thats right. gay men are men who like men. lesbians are women who like women." is all you need, the confirmation that its real, and the neutrality that means yeah its fine.

and i think haruka is the most perceptive of kiryu bc of how they have grown together so like She Knows. if anyone puts the pieces together besides majima itd have to be her. and i think the conversation they one day (probably not around 3-era, unsure where i'd place this) have kind of also touches on harukas own bisexuality bc nothing abt what she did w that one girl she was friends with in 5 was hetero. 2 me. i wish I could be more coherent about this scene in my head, but i feel like its a conversation where a lot remains unsaid but is innately understood. they dance around the topic because saying it outright teeters on too much, but they know what theyre talking about. the love between them is unconditional.

anyway he doesnt have much time to masturbate when running the orphanage, but because he's busy with chores and taking care of a bunch of kids who he loves. plus thin walls. but hes gentler with himself when he does. maybe he starts foraying into men strictly in pornography, he's got magazines under the futon or looks up crusty jpegs on his phone or something. he lets go of some of the shame because he's found somewhere else where it feels right for him to be. he is so happy in okinawa it drives me crazy.

skipping over 4 bc he's still in okinawa for the majority of that game until saejima and company wash up on his beach and then he has to go back to kamurocho, during the events of 5 he is NOT touching himself. he hates himself so much in that game. he hardly showers. he lives with a woman and covers up her naked body when she strips in front of him. his boss is pointing out how gay everyone at his job thinks he is but insisting its okay but being clocked like that is a super specific punch to the gut that he wasnt really prepared for and really flusters him. for the most part i dont think his dick exists to him. he's sitting to pee. he hasnt gotten it up in months.

i blocked 6 from my memory for the most part except how kiryu in a baseball uniform makes my dick hard. haruka and yuta i think r bi4bis my girl deserves it.

post 6, he is not Kiryu Kazuma anymore, and despite the pain that comes from forced separation from his family, being a different person is so freeing. he gets to explore things. he gets to let his shoulders drop and relax for the first time since 2005. im playing thru gaiden right now and already dont remember all of the daidoji restrictions on him but by now he's pretty much fully realized himself and embraced his sexuality. he lets himself have his fantasies. he's become a bit of a hedonist like he was in his 20s with far more easy access to gay porn and sex toys. i know my man has a butt plug in his gay ass!!! i love bottom kiryu. have i ever said how much i love bottom kiryu. i think he has nights where he puts on a porn video and treats himself. i think he has some drinks and a cigarette and fingers himself and plays with his balls and teases himself until his orgasm sneaks up on him. and then he takes a shower and goes to sleep in his underwear. is he completely healthy? absolutely not. his self sacrificial streak and need to bear all of the pain by himself is why he's here. he still has unaddressed severe trauma and depression. but he can fingerfuck himself and watch gay porn without his stomach churning over the fact that he actually wants this, so progress is progress.

i need to stress. i started thinking about all this. because i put kiryu in this outfit

and thought about him putting on dark plum colored lipstick and looking at himself in the mirror and smudging it a little and getting so hard that he gets lightheaded and immediately needing to jack off about it. i would say im going to write that fic but i know i wont.

[definitelynotshouting]

(scared) What... what happens if Grian explains right off the bat when he's found out? (shaking)

in reference to the tags of this ask

So like. A really huge part of what Scar's plan entails in canon-- and yes, it's Scar doing this partially on purpose-- is the inherent kindness of the hermits. You bring a starving, dying man back into the fold, and you can absolutely bet that the VAST majority of hermits will at LEAST let him stay until he's healthier again. This is a deliberate move on Scar's part!!! The urgency of the situation (plus the familiarity) creates more of an incentive to let Grian in and then let him linger, which gives him a chance to grow his roots again and make up with the hermits. Scar wants him home again, permanently, and in this game its basically ALL about buying time.

So what happens when you take away that sense of "he's gonna die if we dont keep him here" urgency?? Well...

Well, in an au where Grian fessed up instantly abt the starving and making games when confronted, there's a lot more room to think about it. In some ways, hunger!Grian's canonical reaction to shut down and just let them furiously throw them out was a lot kinder and ultimately worked to his advantage-- nobody got any answers, so they started looking. People are more willing to talk to him if only to understand why. There's a clear element of "i was just doing this to survive and i feel fucking horrible about it" that is,,, pretty undeniable when you've got the person in question self-harming pretty severely about it. And yes, there's pity. Not always a bad thing, and in this case thats the element Scar is deliberately tugging on to make Grian's stay a bit more palatable until he can reintegrate himself

But when you have time to think about it, without that immediate evidence, without that sense of raw urgency sorta blanketing everything so people dont question as much-- what you get is a more measured, and ultimately more negative outlook. The hermits OF COURSE take the time to help Grian figure out how to feed without using people's emotions. They're kind like that. They do care. But theres now more time to think about this, more time to decide yeah, thats valid, sure, but he still used us and hurt a lot of us and also we didnt consent.

Essentially, what im getting at here is that in a hunger au variant where Grian fesses up immediately, the hermits do help him figure out a way to feed without relying on others... and then when thats all sorted out, a vote is called, and Grian is politely but firmly requested to leave. So he loses them anyway, and without the benefit of a mystery to help bring him back.

Thats not to say the vote wasnt awfully divided, there were plenty of people who were at the very least okay with him staying. But with more time and less distance to think things out, a lot of the folks who fall into the "wary but willing to hear him out" category in canon (i have a whole chart fiejfjdj) ended up moving to the "we dont want him here" side of things because they found themselves understandably uncomfortable with the situation and the harm caused by it to others. To their friends.

Basically, its enough of a majority vote to get Grian kicked anyway and without an opening to return. And in this au, i dont think he would return. The au as i have it outlined is that Grian ends up spending years alone on a singleplayer world, falling into his grief and into the rote cycle of surviving but not thriving, until Iskall (one of the people who wanted him to stay) meets him in a market hub and eagerly gets back in touch with him.

Its very much one of those aus that really SQUEEZES your heart, bc its about the loneliness, and the emptiness of losing your entire community, and knowing it is your fault. Its about what happens when you fully isolate because of guilt and forget what its like to be happy because you wont LET yourself be happy. And its about relearning what its like to be a person instead of personified misery. The recovery in that au is SO much harder, so much of a more difficult road (which is saying smth considering canon's is already super difficult), and takes a lot more time and effort on Grian's part. Its a good au, one im really sinking my teeth into and chattering about in dms, but my gods is it significantly worse in many ways to canon hunger au

[scythegirl13]

why i hate edward twilight :3

okay so, i fucking hate edward twilight. i feel like theres a lot of reasons, but lets get into the nitty gritty shall we? lets get into the hatred in my brain thats reserved for very few people!

‼️‼️‼️ TOPICS OF SEXUAL SHIT AND SA AND SHIT LIKE THAT WILL BE HERE ‼️‼️‼️ also dumb shit brain farts PROCEED IG IDK

okay lets start :)

the fucking bar scene with arthur really riled up my feathers. you could really sense the teasing and fucking shit bag this guy is. we learn a lot in this scene, first is how he talks about mary. THIS REALLY PISSED ME OFF. not only does he make her competition to piss off arthur but also talks about her like an object. really rubs it in his face that shes all his and not arthurs and how he should talk to her and how hes scared. props to arthur to not punching him and cooking him like a trout. mary didnt even seem to like him, but didnt make it obvious somehow to twilight (props to her for enduring that for so long)

the bedroom scene with shilo…is one of the most disturbing scenes if not THE most disturbing scene in the whole series imo. lets go over what was revealed in this scene which is how edward forcibly bloodbonded him once, only wore a robe (implied), crawled up the sheets (oh…) and bloodbonded him again by spiking his drink. from what ive read, vamps view force blood bonding as taboo and can get you in trouble if an important person finds out. so he drugged shilo in hopes he becomes someone like mary. a useful object to him, like a politician puppet and can get his “cool with the prince of vampires” badge. shilo could also serve the purpose as leverage if the queen was alive.

i think the last thing was the spirits touch on the vip bracelet scene. also one of the most disturbing scenes because it leaves what edward did to shilo before he had the bracelet all up to interpretation, which is such a good physcological trip for the brain props to charlie with that. Anyways, he again forcibly bloodblonded shilo after losing one level of blood bonding in the Luna Archives and we find out hes making more of him! hes makin more edwards! we also find out that he spoke of a plan to shilo which shilo “agreed” to which was to say “edward cool” and complete the bloodbond which would make him his willing servent

i dont like edward twilight for these reasons. 1, he treated mary as a trophy. 2, he forcefully bloodbonded shilo thrice. 3, he wanted shilo as his willing servent for anything (which how he spoke about mary…ow). yeah these arent a lot of reasons and i could add more but this is all that is confirmed to happen to the main cast. is there a lot of implications? TONS. do i wanna talk about them? no its 2 in the morning

NIGHTY NIGHT!! 🌙 🌌

[nowordsformylove]

jonesmith analysis ep 16-30 (part 2)

this one is somehow longer and sillier than the last one. be ready

episode 16... rough episode but it gives.

lots of Davy being grabby and touchy in this one.

waist touch scene he does it twice btw and I dont fault him bc Mike does have a very grabbable waist.

Mike completely overshooting how short Davy is so that he can be eye level with his boobs.

this awkward high-five thing Mike tries to do.

ep 17 love this ep it gave us Mike grabbing Davy's inner thigh and Davy's shirt riding up.

this frame where it looks like they just got interrupted while making out. the way this ep was a jolenzmith spa day (poor Peter deserves a spa day too).

REMEMBER ALWAYS USE PROTECTION‼️

ep 18

the scene where they're all watching tv and Mike says "This isn’t bad considering, is it, Davy?" plays very well into my headcanon that they like to watch old silly movies together. also this:

ep 19 not much to say here, Mike does come out of Davy and Peter's room at the beginning so im curious what he was doing, and then theres this scene of Davy making a silly face at Mike.

ep 20 yeahh baby

"you'll do fine, sugar." <- this line put me into a coma.

love how he just walks into the group of interviewers and grabs Davy by the scruff.

THIS SCENE where he literally lifts Davy and then sets him on his lap. love love love

ALSO THIS SCENE. it's so sweet 🥹 "youre gentle youre kind and youre sincere" wahhhhh

ep 21 this episode back to back with the last one ohh boy

Mike calling Davy "Mr. Charm" cute.

another "I'm gonna stay here with Davy, you two go back to the pad." split-up situation. cant leave his bf all alone when he has to pretend to be the ruler of a country. Mike also spends the whole episode fussing over Davy and fixing his clothes 🤭 gifs here.

also this was a fake royalty red-blue joint slay outfit moment

ep 22

"MIIIIKEEE! MIKE! That guy was throwing knives at me he couldve killed me why didnt you do something?!!"

the way Mike runs his hands over him to check if hes okay.

ep 24

"what we wanna do is show what you are and the way you live" "what you wanna get us arrested?" because they live a faggot life style full of gay sex.

also "The Monkees are the typical fun people. The devoon madcap boys for whom every day is just one gay adventure." not jonesmith specific but its funny to me and i think it aged splendidly.

not much else in this ep but i do love these frames

ep 26 this one has A LOT

as pointed out HERE Mike just had to put his hand on Davy's hip for a second hmm.

very touchy in this ep

a wonderful array of silly costumes

boob touch ^

another lovely scene of Davy calling out to Mike for help 🫶

ep 27 shirt rip scene.

^ love these frames especially the second one cause Mike looks so cute. Davy is thinking that too.

ep 29

ep 30 didn't really have anything BUT this behind the scenes photo that looks like the beginning of a porno was from this episode

[socksandbuttons]

Bestie...us this to ramble about anything you like.

I'm tired but I want you to be happy.

OKAY SO u only have the full context but i get to ramble ALL I WANT AS U SAID SOOOO Im working on an au's design that i told you about. so far silhoutttes good i LOVE THEM. dying at this one concept CAUSE I LOVE IT SO MUCH HAVENT SEEN IT YET BUT SORT OF BUT NOT ENTIRELY. Anyway design wise 3/5 look good! i can work with them (its colors per usual bestie as u KNOW) the other two look too much like Vamp lunar and of eachother and im like ... i need to fix this cause vvamp lunar different (did u know i fleetingly considered using him for this??? i decided against it i like making new things) THEN THEN THERES MY OWN PIZZAPLEX AU which i havent touched in a while but i rmabled enough about it to you but i never showed off the thing i was doing about that. SUN!LUNAR AU PLAGUES ME ONCE A WHILE. BUT I DONT TALK ENOUGH ABOUT HIM. Love me some Solar vibing with his new bro and not having a crisis about the other two. Whomst are still having issues (I will remind u all that NICE ECLIPSE'S MOON was something he was also trying to save. That it wasn't verbal abuse until the more recent episodes when they reintroduced how his world is. Makes a good reason for Solar to leave tho.) My au's Moon has bad mood swings. Does Bloodmoon Exist? No. Does KC? No. Could they? KC can't anylonger unless they legit kept that code but i doubt that. (Due to Moon literally wanting it out. Solar not wanting to put him thru that ordeal and knowing it wont work in getting his moon back.) Bloodmoon was only made when Eclipse wanted OUT for realsies. Vs Solar and Sun may have been switching but nothing that opted violence for an answer. Just mistakes that they didnt realize would happen. Sun!Lunar literally being a result of trying to put code back in but just making a New Person instead. So they continue to find a way to help Sun (Solar just... desperately not trying to think about how unlikely that could be) OH YEAH REMEMBER WHEN MOON PROMISED TO FIX SOLARS STAR AND HIS MOON AND SUN??? YEAH??? well rip that that. We aint gonna think about that. what else can i ramble about POKEMON AU WHERE U HAVENT SEEN IN A WHILE BUT SOLAR FLARE... I FINALLY... FIGURED OUT HOW I WANNA DRAW/DESIGN HIM LOL Space AU i cant recall what ive shared ever. But Love me some thinking about how theyre made and their differences. Lots of cute ship stuff. Yes I forget to share those. Theres more bean au stuff i was thinking over too like when bloodmoon comes in. I definitely wanna think about his like... whole thing about trust and death and instance on not being a tool. Its partly why he doesnt get along well with Eclipse (Someone to put the aggression onto vs killcode who in this au actually still calls him son, Lunar this time round since NOT a hostage a better reception. Sun still has a panic attack. yknow i remembered solar WOULD actually exist.... one thing at a time i need to make a list of things here and there.)

[shiftingtomydrs]

I've never read the Shatter Me series despite my friend telling me to so what's your dr like?

thanks so much for asking <3

i already made an introduction post for the dr which you can find here

spoiler alert under the cut for prolly all the books since my head likes to mix up what info is in which book

the shatter me series is set in a dystopian world, basically humans fucked the world up enough to more or less make it unliveable in (food was poisoned cos animals ate trash and shit e.g., illnesses like cancer were very common etc.) and then the re-establishment takes over. the re-establishment was elected by the people, promising to re-establish life as they knew it (spoiler alert: they didnt) and then took over the world, turning it into district 12 from the hunger games more or less, except its more technologically advanced (the technology is used to monitor civilians tho not to help them) while the psychopaths (really theres no better word, i dont even think that word is strong enough) at the top enjoy life

now more on my backstory (its basically just juliettes backstory from the books cos i dont have a creative bone in my body):

i was created by evie sommers (juliettes mother) whos also the supreme commander (kinda like president) of oceania in a petri dish out of her dna and maybe someone elses? idk but she modified the dna to basically make me the perfect specimen for her little project. my memories of all this are erased regularly btw so i dont talk about it to other people i coincidentally meet (this is before the re-establishment took over completely, which happens when im around 13-16?) bcs what shes doing is obviously lowkey illegal. anyway at some point (in my head when im around 4-5) she starts letting me play with the kids from the other future surpreme commanders (theres one for each continent) which is also where i get my name (as a project i dont need a name so evie never gave me one) which is juliette (its a bit complicated but basically juliette in the book is really called ella so for the sake of logic ill call her ella from now on and im juliette) and was given to me by aaron cos he likes shakespear and thought it fit me soo juliette it was. after evie discovers emmalines (ellas sister) abilities she decides to abandon me and puts me into a foster family similar to ella in the u.s. (for plots aka aaron and my love stories sake) and since theres this whole plot no-matter-how-many-times-they-erase-my-and-aarons-memories-we-always-fall-in-love-again anderson (aarons dad) thought itd be funny to make ellas undercover name juliette ferrars to see if itd make aaron change his mind (he does these fucked up little experiments for fun) or smth idk i dont understand that guy. anyway my powers (also in the introduction post) start manifesting when im like 10 or so and we have to move a lot after cos i cant control my powers yet. when im 14 it all escalates when i accidentally kill a classmate with my powers (he was an ass tho not to excuse my behavior but just wanted to add that) and after that my parents decide its best for them to give up guardianship for me and hand me over to the re-establishment / government. ella at this point already escaped her family to omega point before she ever touches that little boy in the grocery store. anyway the next few years are a lot of moving in between facilities and rehabilitation centers which ends with them locking me away in an asylum when im 16 and thats the point i shift to.

after that its mostly just the plot of the books which is i get pulled out of the asylum after a little less than a year on aarons orders, he wants to use me as a weapon for the re-establishment (but secretly not), i escape with adam (temporary love interest) and get to omega point along with kenji and then anderson takes 2 hostages from omega point and wants me as an exchange, i shoot him, we kidnap aaron, bla bla adam and i break up, aaron and i have this denial thing (from my side), aaron escapes, omega point fights against the re-establishment and gets defeated, anderson shoots me to teach aaron a lesson, i survive cos aaron saves me, we find the survivors of omega point, aaron gets them on base, we kill anderson and take over north america and then after that its the other books which are a bit more complicated but i can get into that too if anyone would like me to :)

now that i read it back its a tiny little bit confusing soo if you have any questions feel free to ask <3

[kozykricket]

thoughts on the minecraft channels new, transparent af mc-history-reflection series.

been really digging the videos recently that minecraft has been uploading of just like... mojang reflecting on the history of the games development. theres... y'know, they don't go too deep into certain things, but they've mentioned a lot of interesting stuff (that admittedly was knowledge you COULD find, but not just, straight up spoken so casually and audibly) like, how... jeb just kinda offhandedly mentioned that back then they could Just Add Things, it was just the wild west of sure why not ...and also talking about how when they add stuff, they want to make sure that players can return to minecraft and have it still feel like ... familiar. and have them still be able to play relatively the same way. they like making opt-in content because of this i think (ill make a bigger post on this later, but... its one of the sad things of having such a big game, imo. you cant change the core gameplay...) but what i wanna talk about is that they... really succinctly explained stuff about the mob vote and how they feel about people asking for all 3, and why they cant just add all 3, and like. yeah okay as a super-omega-nerd, i already generally knew these things from diggin around and looking at individual developers twitters or blogs or whatever, but to hear it on the official youtube channel? its really nice. i hope people can truly BELIEVE mojang when hearing this come from them, that they... really do care, they put in countless days and nights to work on this game that we all love so much, and they care for it too

i think this video series is definitely worth watching. its not like, mr. beastified kiddie content, its just... the people who work on the game talking about their experiences over the years! just, being honest about stuff. they acknowledge stuff like many players still playing on 1.8... and all of the above stuff as well. i really think that when they just, talk straight up honestly, without trying to give some weird fake-reason "oh we didnt add the fireflies because... of the frogs, of course! yeah! we just care about frogs" (not the truest truth, it was that there was crunch and they couldnt really figure out how to implement them in a way they liked) ...when they talk honestly about their feelings, its... yknow, nicer to listen to, feels less corporate, and i really hope less people will like, doubt them or question them when they talk about their passion for the game here. i think in trying to be super careful about their PR, they kinda lost touch of actually just having real, human thoughts be out there for the community to see. at minecon, it doesnt feel like people are being very "real" at times but here? you can tell that theyre just, humans. people like us.

so go watch the series !!!

[spikeinthepunch]

i made a post a bit ago before the reddit black out even happened, talking about how many AI written articles i find when searching for answers on stuff- usually things a little more specific (questions for video games, tech, everyday things but more specific to you, etc. not just "what city is this state in"). its bad- i basically get that or i get reddit threads when i google. and before the reddit black out, i hadnt thought too much about how those AI threads would be.... the only thing left behind if i didnt have reddit. still i watched the reddit black out live, i watched /r/funny go private at midnight. and yet it didnt really hit the importance of reddit until i went on the next day looking for help on a mac laptop i was restoring and realized all the reddits i checked were private. needing mod help for my server, all private. searching reddit for a game i couldnt remember, private.

theres a lot on the internet that needs to be preserved, kept alive, kept relevant. over and over i see people reminisce on old forums and how theyre gone and be brought back- and i think no ones follows through with the format because places like reddit at least fulfill that to some extent. staying with the mainstream is easier and its understandable, bc its relevant and trying to start up your little forum and advertise it isnt easy. Reddit being mainstream becomes the useful google option for a niche forum subject without being a lone forum you probably wont find in typical google search.

and now Reddit isn't available. the most mainstream iteration of those lovely little forums of discussion and support is not available. does it hit now? does it sink in now how bad this is? the past year- maybe even less than a year- has been so so chaotic and bad for the internet. instagram starting turning into tiktok a while back with its changes to feed and format. youtube has slowly followed suit with forcing short's as more relevant for creators than normal videos. twitter did... well, all of That, a lot of Things. Reddit goes along to make their API paid for. Discord turning to the methods on social media, with username changes and more. tumblr is also shifting so much of their entire deal, i think you should all be prepared for tumblr to become unrecognizable too because theres many hints of it happening- some already here.

when i made my personal website over a year ago, it was partially fun but it was a statement for myself too. it was recognition that social media had become unhealthy for me, and i didnt like how it was The thing that existed now, and that bigs corps suddenly taking more and more control of the web was bad and not something i wanted to be stuck with. but suddenly its not just a gentle step to the side i have taken, still knowing i can be on social media to see my friends and build an audience. but now it feels more like all the walls are crumbling around me, and soon i will have no choice but to jump ship entirely. i went from one, to the other, to tumblr where i had always been- the one site that stuck out from the others at least. had an 'old' format. in many ways you need social media.... because its how you made your friends, its how you stay in touch, its how communities get built these days!!

we can try to move back to the independent, the personal sites, the forums, but we all know its not easy. thats truth. its not going to spread as far as we'd hope, many will not follow suit or not know they can. i can only imagine all the old, tech unaware people who will continue to use the internet, never realizing why they struggle to get info or unknowingly follow nonsense AI articles, and have no idea that anything exists outside of the bubble theyre forced into. Not even the old people, but the young generations that will grow into that too and not get out of it.

im just waiting for the mainstream internet to just become entirely unusable from our perspective and its dreadful to me. trying not to be a doomer but i dont think its something you cant ignore when something as simple as googling slightly more specific questions brings nothing but AI nonsense articles or reddit posts and when one of those massive and only relevant sources is down, there is suddenly nothing.

[borathae]

Chapter 7

are we about to see his art collection or his "art collection" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

sneaking around is fun keke no wonder she is all excited and giddy haha cutie pie

Stop laughing”, Taehyung warns quietly, looking over his shoulder. He carries fondness in his eyes and a mischievous grin on his lips. stop IM GONE IM SIMPING IM A PUDDLE

NO UR A MENACE FUCKER DECIDES TO TICKLE ME TO STOP MAKINGME LAUGH NOPE watch my ass fall down the stairs and wake the whole house up

“You’re beyond adorable."

I told my familiar to light the candles your WHAT????

Taehyung is thinking into the future. THATS I WHAT THOUGHT TOO YIPPEEE

other than the rest of the house - which reminds you more of a museum than a home - his wing looks like a home. Bear in mind it was still a very impressive - and royal - home, but it gave you a homely feeling with its burgundy red walls and hardworking radiators. ooh red walls, they feel cozy/warm and very royal vibes

He is already wearing fur slippers HOW DID HE DO THAT dudes faster than flash

Why ruin your home with the dirt of outside? FR 💯

HE TOOK OFF OUR SHOES AAAH and TOUCHED OUR ANKLES THEY BOTH ARE FOR THE COBBLESTONES

They are matching with his UWU, im imagining cat slippers its too funny

You have the prettiest of ankles, my sweetest me to hobi and kook

ALSO HOW MANY ANKLES DID U SEE MY MAN (ik he saw a lot considering he is ancient lol)

Tall windows let in the moonlight from the left, illuminating the paintings on his walls that sounds extra cozy, i want to put a fluffy blanket on my shoulders

“Doesn’t he? It’s the reason why I purchased it”, he says excitedly. 👀 u sure about that?? 👀 did he get kneller to paint it for him 👀👀you sure that this isn’t like your great great great grandfather BABY CONNECT THE DOTS

come now I want to show you something else. HE CHANGED THE SUBJECT

Oh no”, you chuckle, “he just likes to show off.” still cool cousin kudos to him

“Three years? Holy cow and I can’t even work on an essay for twenty minutes without feeling the need to procrastinate.” WOW TAEHYUNG DAMN THATS SICK also u didnt need to call me out like that i-

Delicate roses climb up a marble pillar thats amazing i love murals

"A very long time." edward cullen who

Shall I show you something else too?” he asks quietly. aww my cute lil pookie go ahead why so nervous, smooches the fuck out of nervousness😭

the description of him playing violin gave me goosebumps and its 33C here. why am i slightly teared up

THERES A SECRET DOOR OMG IM GONNA PLAY BARBIE AND THE SECRET DOOR THERE FUCK THIS IS SOO CUTE AAAH

Gosh you own so many cool things.” ik he is soo cool, he can totally murder me on the stairs

Do you have your secret stack of drugs up there?” you joke, dont what if he is a mafia boss???? also he is about to throw you off the top 😭 yeet

Okay yep, holy cow. This is better than drugs FR OCTAGON SHAPED ROOM ARE THE BEST, my uncle's living room is like that and its amazing to play "find the object with hints" type games

if I could marry one room it would be this one TAE MOVE SHE IS MINE WE ARE MEANT TO BE MARRIED wait tae dont move, we can be a throuple

people were right, namjoon copied love yourself album FROM SIR KIM TAE-ITH HYUNGWILL THE THIRD, love thyself

His skin is glowing silver again, like water when it reflects the moon at night or snow when the sunlight hits it just right. singularity performances *shudders

You are the only person who knows this room exists.” SAY WHAT *faints

Why did you paint the stars?” THAT TOO FOR 3 YEARS AND HE THOUGHT OF IT AS HELL, his therapist will need a therapist

NAUR THE ICE CREAM NO SHE JUST TOLD U NOT TO hes such a cute lil shit i cant

oh the trying to be invisible, i do that too, i keep doing that for half of an academic year, and all that time i just vibecheck everyone and the other half, i slowly come out of the shell (not much tho lol) that way i dont miss anyone or does anyone miss me and they cant hurt me too

this chapter was so cute, fluffy and cozy and they both speaking more about themselves aah its sooo good. and i loved his home/wing. the description of the place was just great i could feel the bed and the stars

byee 💜💜❤️❤️

This ask was a ghost ask on my computer 😶 like I saw that you sent me an ask in my notifs and I could open it on mobile, but it was non existant on my laptop HFHADHSF help

sneaking around is fun keke no wonder she is all excited and giddy haha cutie pie

no but they're so cute no joke 🥺

I told my familiar to light the candles your WHAT????

he's just a rich lil spoiled vampire

Taehyung is thinking into the future. THATS I WHAT THOUGHT TOO YIPPEEE

EHEHEH <3

other than the rest of the house - which reminds you more of a museum than a home - his wing looks like a home. Bear in mind it was still a very impressive - and royal - home, but it gave you a homely feeling with its burgundy red walls and hardworking radiators. ooh red walls, they feel cozy/warm and very royal vibes

I agree YES 🥺

HE TOOK OFF OUR SHOES AAAH and TOUCHED OUR ANKLES THEY BOTH ARE FOR THE COBBLESTONES

he is so fucking HOT

You have the prettiest of ankles, my sweetest me to hobi and kook

I'm obsessed with their ankles 😶 it's the Dom in me 😶

ALSO HOW MANY ANKLES DID U SEE MY MAN (ik he saw a lot considering he is ancient lol)

imagine all the ankles he had resting on his shoulders 😶

Delicate roses climb up a marble pillar thats amazing i love murals

NO BUT ME TOO 😭 I wanna paint a forest mural on my bedroom wall, but I'm too scared to mess up

Shall I show you something else too?” he asks quietly. aww my cute lil pookie go ahead why so nervous, smooches the fuck out of nervousness😭

he's just a lil pookie <3

Okay yep, holy cow. This is better than drugs FR OCTAGON SHAPED ROOM ARE THE BEST, my uncle's living room is like that and its amazing to play "find the object with hints" type games

ooh nice I love this vibe <3

Why did you paint the stars?” THAT TOO FOR 3 YEARS AND HE THOUGHT OF IT AS HELL, his therapist will need a therapist

he does not a Therapist I can tell you that much HAHAHHAAH

oh the trying to be invisible, i do that too, i keep doing that for half of an academic year, and all that time i just vibecheck everyone and the other half, i slowly come out of the shell (not much tho lol) that way i dont miss anyone or does anyone miss me and they cant hurt me too

That was me too when I was younger, but we're allowed to take up space on this earth. That's our right too, remember that my love 💜

this chapter was so cute, fluffy and cozy and they both speaking more about themselves aah its sooo good. and i loved his home/wing. the description of the place was just great i could feel the bed and the stars

I'm so happy that you loved it so much seriously heheh 💜💜

[alvie-pines]

The post you thought was about my little pony. Yeah I probably would have too if I wasn't specifically looking in the tags for what it actually was. Luna and Mafuyu aren't really that similar (imo Mafuyu is closer to Twilight(still not really)) but you've got me thinking about Celestia and Shizuku and I didn't watch the later seasons of MLP so I could be wrong but like. Shizuku felt like she had to be perfect and couldn't make a single mistake. She felt like allowing herself to be imperfect was letting everyone who looked up to her down. She just wanted to do the best thing but she felt cornered and like she didn't have anyone to talk to about it.

oooh yeah! celestia 100% had a ton of responsibility on her shoulders and it canonically stressed her out. and she felt disconnected from everyone else because of it. iirc there were a couple episodes that touched on this. one was the episode where starlight switched celestia and luna's cutie marks and they had to take on each others roles for the day, and luna found out just how strict the expectations and responsibilities on her sister were. (celestia also found out that luna's life wasnt easy and fun either. but we're talking about celestia here.) the other was the one where luna and celestia tried to take a vacation and celestia was over the MOON that she got to act "normal" for a few days. though she was bad at it, lol. and celestia in general doesnt really have anyone to turn to, except maybe luna, but luna is her little sister and has already been thru a lot. in s3e1 (which i just watched, hehe) i noticed that celestia told twilight she'd always be there for her, and also added "and i hope you will be there for me when i need you." this was right after twi became a princess. it was said very casually but seemed a little out of place compared to the slighty aloof, all powerful princess we saw before... i think she was very grateful to have someone else close to her level who she felt she could be vulnerable with and turn to for help... bt the thing is, she doesnt lean on twilight emotionally or open up to her much throughout the rest of the show. so i kinda get the vibe that she WANTS to lean on people but when it actually comes time to ask for help, maybe she's not able to.

god, i didnt expect to analyze celestia so much-- she's never been a favorite of mine, but the great thing about mlp is that theres something worth looking into for pretty much all the characters. its a very character driven show. idk where im going with this now so im going to end it there 👍

[spookfished]

big media roundup (july edition)

hellooo again welcome to my media roundup, where i talk about things i read/watched/played this month! (…and by last month i mean AN ENTIRE MONTH AGO. WOOPS in my defense i got sick [better now]) in july i downloaded tachij2k, which im going to be shilling forever as the best way to read manga on android (apk on github here) this also means that ive been reading like, a Lot of manga lol so i split books + comics into two.

books:

vita nostra by Marina and Sergey Dyachenko: a metaphysics-ish novel about a girl who is blackmailed into going to a magic school. sort of a subversion where (unlike many magic school books) it basically is all about learning and stuff? im kind of a sucker for books written by married couples i think its really cute and also kind of fascinating... um i sort of disagree with its approach to pedagogy but its also sort of about the blood sweat and tears part of learning,, where i usually quit beforehand LOL. got that eastern european hopeless and drudgery (?) but idk i would definitely recommend

the great believers by rebecca makkai: historical fiction that swaps between an art curator-y guy living through the aids epidemic in chicago and his friend in the present who is trying to reunite w her estranged daughter. i really liked this!! super devastating obviously literally scooped me like a melon. very well researched! i hadnt really grasped like. the sheer terror and paranoia? that happened during the aids epidemic before..... thats my lack of contemp history knowledge but it was good i learned a lot. liked the theme of sort of surviving through tragedy and even after.. and the line drawn between the lost generation (war) and yales own exp (EDIT: found sth i wrote after reading the book which said "people are living their own intricate and mundane stories and then the stories of the world smash straight through them")

assassin of reality (vita nostra sequel): sasha knows what she will become--has embraced it, even. but theres always something that can be lost, and the institute still has a heavy hand over her.<or sth like that??? the reveals of the last book kind of make it a hard act to follow and the book definitely felt a lot more abstract... ik some people complained about the romantic subplots but i feel like it gives stakes and grounds everything else, yk? it gives you a thread to hold onto otherwise i mightve given up LMFAO that being said i did enjoy it :3 wondering if what happened to the authors will change the vibe of the next book... :(

you exist too much by zaina arafat: literary fiction about a bisexual palestinian american woman who struggles with her addiction to unattainable love, which has led her to cheat in several relationships. this book didnt really resonate with me.. um i actually ended up writing like 500 words of review for this but its pretty negative. so if youre interested check it out here https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/970847361775591466/1147613251933306921/image.png

movies/tv: room with a view: a young english girl travels to italy and finds love there--but has to choose between that love and a 'proper' life. ok this was fine. idk it was cute and funny sometimes but didnt leave that much of an impression sorry :T

past lives: two childhood friends reconnect, lose touch, then reconnect again. aughjjj those two silent minutes where they were waiting for her ride were so freaking agonizing. really good acting pretty film i just enjoyed it a lot in general! :3 i didnt like the boyfriend that much at first but the conversation they had in bed made them feel like a real relationship, you know? wish theyd had a 3some though maybe it will happen in past lives 2: paster life. idk its like most of the time we dont grow up to be who we thought wed be or do what we thought wed do... but is that really so bad? cant you still be happy? *clutches my head

nimona (movie): adaptation of the comic above! um this was fine i think i was a little disappointed bc the jokes felt a little overplayed/didnt really land? and i was mentally comparing it to the comic but then rereading i was like oh these jokes dont really hit for me either.. so who am i comparing this to LOL i think it would have meant a lot to me in middle school, so maybe it will mean something to middle schoolers now. also ppl fought really hard for it to be made so i feel like i need to give it more credit. my mutuals meta also made me appreciate it more :3 https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/687877902200471552/1126752893312184390/image.png barbie movie: not going to recap the barbie movie sorry. i actually watched this twice it was really fun :3 i wouldnt necessarily say it was a Cultural Milestone or anything but it was cute to see everyone dressed up for the movie.. plus i love velveteen rabbit type storylines. i think ken got the right amount of screentime (its not his movie!) but i loved his dance number and the battle scene :3 and the outfitss idk im not super caught up on the movie scene but it feels like there have been a lot of ugly movies recently. i enjoyed it

the rehearsal: a "reality" show about nathan fielder, who believes that any difficult situation can be rehearsed--and has the budget to put that belief into practice. ok like last year or sth everyone was like omg this show was sooo good but i didnt really get what it was about? but its actually really so interesting.. and the whole blurring between fiction and reality as well as the audience not really knowing which parts are staged and which parts are 'real' is so fun! i was a little bit disappointed when it diverged from the episodic format but that ended up paying off bigtime and was really like idk heartbreaking and funny and all of that. very recommend 👍

video games:

super mario odyssey: (replay)super fucking mario yay!!! in the long run, odyssey didnt have as much like. cultural staying power as botw did (they were both switch launch titles) but its still soooo imaginative and pretty and dense! i love platformers love 2 run and jump.

visual media: he was my brother: psych horror manga about a young girl who tries to grow closer to her recently-deceased brother's partner. omg i had so much fun with this the art is so atmospheric and delightfully creepy...REALLY mind the warnings though. i think i ended up reading all of it in one sitting lmfao

nimona comic (reread): classic villain ballister blackheart is looking for a competent sidekick, but what he gets is nimona, a shapeshifting weirdo kid with secrets. i remember trying to reread this and going wow.... is nimona not as good as i remember? am i old? but it was actually just like early webcomic weirdness nimona is still pretty good! yay :3 i still like the comic better but i respect how they are adapted to their respective mediums and also come from different phases in the og authors life

The story of how I came to know my favourite announcer has a side to her I would have never imagined: oneshot f/f w the premise in the title. whether i write down stuff like this is pretty hit or miss lol and i had to look this one up to rmbr what it was but the art is so cute...simple plot but i enjoyed it :3

crossplay love otaku x punk: romcom where two highschoolers fall in love with the other's crossdressing alter ego (m/m?). i really liked this one actuallyyy its so silly and im also a sucker for love square shenanigans. ok also now that someone else said they think hana/shuumei is endgame so im thinking about it. not the right perspective for this but the crossdressing isnt really overly fetishized or like seen as bad or anything? also ppl make some really funny faces in this

breathless momentum (vol 2+3): r two womanizing musicians find love... in each other!? this is also another one of my favorites :3 the leads are so fun and also music yay music! i really appreciate when a romance is still able to present an interesting story even after the couple has gotten together..

damekoi r: sequel to "please love this useless me," (damekoi is like.. useless passion? i think) which is about a woman in her 30s who spends all her money on her college boyfriend and goes into debt and falls in with her shitty former boss. omg it was soooo cute like i already said its a romance set after the main couple has already gotten together. which is my favorite. but these guys are really fucking weird so they still have a lot of problems. having Another Man who fits michikos type and isnt totally evil come in to destabilize shibata and kurosawas relationship doesnt feel cheap bc their relationship is already not very stable? lol i think the first one is worth checking out if you love pathetic women

mr villains day off: a gag manga about an alien supervillain on his days off. ok this one is pretty much just centered around this fluffy guy who likes to look at pandas but its extremely not very deep but its very cute... i like it... i also like pandas

how do we relationship/so do you want to go out, or (reread): f/f slice of life/drama manga about a girls first lesbian relationship in college. ok this is like "the" yuri manga for me i would recommend it to any fans of femslash its like sort of very realistic feeling? in the way that a relationship can sort of degrade slowly through lack of communication and being different people i think its really great 👍

ichinose familys seven deadly sins: psychological drama. an entire family wakes up with amnesia from a car crash. they dont remember themselves or each other, but pledge to stay together and relearn how to be a family and try to find their memories again. but is it really worth digging up the past...? man this one really goes off the rails. but like in a fun way? has an interesting arc going on rn about like... what allowances do we give, what are we willing to forgive in a stranger vs a family member. pretty interesting!

oshi no ko (catchup): psych thriller about the twin children of a famous idol trying to deal with the legacy she leaves behind. ive been talking about this manga for a while to my friends lol its kind of like riverdale in that its sort of very good, sort of very bad--but overall just super engrossing! which makes sense in a way bc its about the entertainment industry but also about the relationship between an idol and their fan... um not so sure about recent developments though lol. a little bit scared to see where things go

blue period (catchup): a delinquent boy used to going with the flow decides to go to the top art school in japan. yeah blue period is really good. hope this helps 👍lets all never go to art school ever ok ^_^

still sick: f/f about an office lady who finds out her coworker writes and sells yuri doujins (like illustrated fanfiction?) on the side. its a classic! was nice to finally get around to finishing it :3

liar satsuki can see death: thriller about a girl who can see peoples deaths and tries to prevent them--except everyone thinks shes just a liar. ok this is notable bc it has the exact same like adventures and gaybait as shounen but its all girls instead. its good light entertainment! sometimes is um kind of horny for sth about high school girls so ymmv on that one

farming for love: m/m romance about a pharmacist who moves to the country after a bad breakup and meets a ~strong but silent farmer~. pretty average, but fun if youre into that kind of thing! not sure if i would really recommend it lol

chainsaw man 2: set after the events of chainsaw man proper, its an action shounen focusing on asa mitaka, a girl who kinda sucks :3 chainsaw man is so fun yayyy im happy to be reading it again excited to get hit by some more bricks! asa is a wonderful protagonist and fujimoto continues to write comitragedy (?) in a way thats kinda obscene but also very cool 👍rip single father denji

skip and loafer (comic): slice of life about an ambitious but awkward girl who comes from the country to start her high school life in tokyo!!!! and some guy i guess. omg ok this is like the slice of life manga for me rn (the anime is really good! finished recently check it out) its just really warm and nice. autistic girls win always lol truly a comic that makes you feel like there is love in the world

no home: webtoon drama about two guys who are trapped together in a haunted dorm. ok this comic makes me really depressed but its also about people who make each other better despite their best efforts. and also violence and hatred its really really good 👍sad about recent updates though.. i guess maybe the characters werent really meant to be friends in the long term

this took me like two weeks to write and now im in a different state LOL so um if you got to the end...thanks for reading!

[gg-selvish]

sapnap/unresolved georgenap in rules

someone on retrospring asked me for sapnap's perspective in rules because it's pretty underdevlopped in the fic so here's my answer so i have it saved because it was fun to talk about

ok i. ran out of time for sapnap in rules and i will be the first to admit that. sapnaps arc isnt very as satisfyingly resolved as dreams and thats because the dnf damage was just so intense and so fresh it took priority over longterm hurt but. theres a lot there that he went through thats implied and also in my personal headcanons of unwritten lore that implications stem from that i dont describe well or explore enough in the actual fic (sorry self burn booooooo)

rules is sapnap fell first george fell harder. 100%. its established in chapter 1 that sapnap had a crush on george since they were young and it was implied that george knew about it for most of the time of their friendship because it would be brought up casually/jokingly and while george thought it was lighthearted (and, once they got together, irrelevant) it was pure torture for sapnap.

loving both of your best friends is very difficult, if you could imagine. in my head dreamnap eased into each other better than georgenap did (emotionally) but... thats not really hard to do. dream and him established probably pretty similarly to treacherous in that it didnt take too long for them to realize their feelings for each other, but in rules george is more present so they get together faster because as we all know dreamnap are kind of scared of each other while george is the worlds biggest instigator. dnn complete each other yadda yadda im getting sidetracked

so they establish that they want each other and start this relationship but we're gonna math it out. sapnap isnt getting words of affirmation (outside of e-sex like praise no i love yous) or physical touch from george. he's getting words of affirmation from dream but limited physical touch due to The Rules (wooooooo). another thing thats quick in the fic is that dreamnap kinda lock away from each other because they Want to be together and theyre Not Allowed To so u can imagine the strain that would put on all of their dynamics. theyre so close but limited to compromise with someone who cant even say i love you or touch them like its Hard bro and theres resentment that comes from that piled atop the years of teasing for feelings that sapnap can never even be sure are reciprocated are u kidding????

so not only is there this prodding and underlying making fun of sapnaps feelings at regular interverals and overall memeing on him for YEARS theres george putting him in a painful position in the relationship too. more resentment. the piles getting pretty high, huh? and then they meet. theyre together. and its george but its also someone completely different. suddenly he's being worshipped and touched like gold with the kindest words whispered and he slips into subspace and feels so safe and he loves george so much why does it have to be so hard?

so he settles for when it's not hard.

he consents to cosigning the breaking of dreams heart and lets george sleep with him alone because for just a few minutes or hours he can pretend he means something to george. because he has doubts. maybe id go so far as to say theres times where he really doesnt believe him at all. but he does believe him when he's combing fingers through his hair and letting him taste love on his tongue

i think a lot about dreamnap in oklahoma. how sapnap felt to sleep in the same bed as dream and want to be with him alone the way they were when george was on call but he cant. all the while knowing if george was in his place he could do whatever he wants because hes on another wavelength

more resentment. george always wins, isn't that so unfair?

and when sapnap comes back different. that line is important and holds a lot of weight. thats when he got tired of george being unfair and dragging him through the mud and he wanted to be strong against someone who makes him weak so he tries so hard even though hes being torn in two and he's so tired, can you imagine? so he stops the unsafe scene. more resentment builds. he's done with george. he cant take this anymore. hes ruining everything and so he pulls away from him even more

and then he gets drunk and george crawls under his skin and he fails and can you imagine how much he was beating himself in the head for that? after being so strong and maybe he felt excluded a little because of it but he wasnt being weak and then george fucking makes him weak again and dream catches him and it all blows up because he was weak

and still. even with sapnap and him on the chopping block. george does not say i love you.

sapnap defends him in the fight. and george still doesnt say it.

it takes dream taking him apart and nearly forcing vulnerability. and sure sapnap is told first but was it because of him? do you think he'll always wonder if it was always going to be dream fixing george and never him? do you think he would feel resentful about that as well?

there's a lot of negativity in him. he's been really dragged through it and treated like shit and theres a part of me who has this perspective and sees rules!george apologists and wonders if theyre thinking about any of this. if any of it is even detectable in the tiny one liners i slipped in because i was going too fast

rules is about george at face value, but it's also kind of about dream, and it's definitely about sapnap.

[vulpesvulpeskin]

KINTYPES PAGE

MAIN KINTYPES definition; these are me, and in my everyday life being these kins affects how i interact with my world around me

art by me fox therian/foxkin!! i fully 100% believe i was a fox in a past life, and that i should have been one still, that my soul is of a foxes. i've also had dreams of my past life, or even lives, as well!

art by cherivinca shiny umbreon kin!! when it comes to my fictional kins, they're a bit more.. abstract. my therian self is 100%, and kin is just as close as well, but probably not a past life? overall, shiny umbreon to me is more fox than anything, and with a fox with a strong affinity for the night and space, it just makes sense! not to mention the yearning i get with art & the phantom feelings, of course x3 similar, because i'm a shiny umbreon, i'm just as much a shiny eevee

art by me dragonkin!! ever since i found myself as a fox therian, i've had phantom shifts with wings & horns & big ole tails. for awwhilllee i thought i was spyro kin but it didnt "fit" right till way later when i revisited my kin side and came to terms with my dragon side!! still trying to get more in touch with it as well :3

SECONDARY KINTYPES definition; these kins are me, but are not constantly at the for front of my mind. this is also where more of my fictionkin will come in

art by pkmn card artist sui shiny luxio line kin!! this just... makes sense! if you know me, you get why, but my main pokesona is a shiny luxio. it'd be weird if they weren't a kin type feeling for me

art from a whisker away movie house catkin!! meow :3

art from homestuck nepeta leijon kin!! :33< meow :33

art from homestuck dave strider kin!! why do you think my name is dave? but like actually this guy is bordering on main kintype, with nepeta too, buuuuutttt... the other 3 are just more constant, especially because i'm not very actively consuming any homestuck media anymore LMAO. but my humor, typing style, and mannerism, all stem from this fucking guy, so! he's pretty important!!

art from bnha manga deku kin sorry! sorry. im cringe! technically this kin came to me when i was like ew kin is cringe im not otherkin i would never be. but now weve gone full circle. i am otherkin, but it feels cringe to be kin with him because he is bnha. how unfortunate

art from haikyuu manga kuroo kin hes ME. hes ME!!!!!!!! for awhile, the LONGEST TIME, i thought i was kenma, but i thought about it, really thought about it, and im kuroo. my boyfriend is kenma. we are kenkuro for reals (he isnt otherkin)

art from the naruto manga sai kin watching naruto during the very formative years of my life and not understand why i related so much to the guy who had to read a book to learn how to make friends (we are both autistic)

art from gravity falls show dipper pines kin yeah. Yeah. i dont have much to say just. yeah.

WIP theres way more i just.. dont remember right now. first time im writing this stuff down <:3

COMFORT/OTHERHEARTED CHARACTERS/CREATURES definition; characters/creatures/animals i feel very very attached to, and seeing works/art/pictures of them brings me a great source of comfort

picture from hubble space telescope space for a very long while, i thought i was spacekin, and i've learned now it comes instead from the comfort a night sky can bring a fox/umbreon/dragon, and not because i was part of space. or well. i do yearn for home when i look at the night sky, so i still might have more to learn here

art from the bnha manga katsuki bakugou (kacchan) you will never. NEVER GUESS. what my main bnha ship is.

art from the haikyuu manga kenma kenma is just like my boyfriend and i am kuroo this is just. facts. i love kenma sm. so much comfort.

WIP

QUESTIONING KINS definition; what it says on the tin, things i am questioning if i'm kin with

art from the first pkmn movie shiny mew kin? if im this one then damn it makes a lot of phantom shift feelings make sense

art from pkmn card artist tika matsuno espeon kin? headgem phantom limb too strong sometimes. plus the funny feelings i get when i have espeon pfps

art from loz series, icon made by sensoryeen link kin? from what series? who knows! but he's 100% trans. this.. just makes sense. whoops! we'll see

art from the naruto manga kakashi kin? big maybe on this. would need to revisit the source material. alternatively: obito instead. dont know yet. leaning towards kakashi

art from httyd movies toothless kin? it is either this or hiccup kin. i would say if i was toothless i would have more of these phantom feelings? either way. very very very deep connection to httyd as a series & universe. one month i watched the 1st and 2nd movie like 5 times over because it was the only way to feel comfort

THIS PAGE WILL BE UPDATED AS I LEARN MORE ABOUT MYSELF & MY JOURNEY WITH BEING OTHERKIN!