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ae0nx · 3 years

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FRUITS BASKET S3 EPISODE 12 RECAP!!!

...Do you think we'll get a Fruits Basket Another adaptation or OVA or something of the sorts? 🥺

Anyway, I'd like to start this off by shouting out whoever writes the episode descriptions on Funimation who started off the description of last week's episode as:

"Kyo finally tells Tohru what he should have told her in the first place"

🤣Damn straight.

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We get three 'I love you and I want to stay with you, if you'll keep me's during this episode. (Four if you count Haru's declaration that he'll love Yuki forever lol) And they're all so unique yet fitting to the pairing involved...

SMOOTH OPERATORRRRR 🎶

Why did this scene make me blush so hard! It had no audacity to do that. I loved it.

Personally, I'm really glad we got this Machi and Yuki moment separate from Kyo and Tohru's moment in the previous episode as while I already love Yuki/Machi together, I do wish we got more moments over the course of the series to get to know them together and their natural dynamic as friends (without the awkwardness and uncertainty).

But, I mostly just love how this isn't an actual confession in the traditional sense of the declaration of feelings but it's more so an almost spiritual, mutual understanding and probably lands this pair as having the most natural progression of a relationship in the series.

They cute.

And Yuki really can't help being a Disney Prince, Gods bless him.

Ahh... these two...

...Just gonna note down what Akito says about her feelings for Shigure:

'I want to permeate his body, get into his cells, into his bones, invade and infuse them. Saturate his entire being with my own. Fill every corner of him with my scent, till he can't even breathe.'

😳...

I fully believe they love each other intensely and kinda, weirdly violently and I definitely can understand why people like this pairing, especially as there are real life couples that are just like this. I just would've loved if they acknowledged that their upbringing in such a toxic environment has negatively affected the way they express their love towards each other and that maybe separating for a while and trying to understand who they are without each other and the curse would be great? But, whatever, I'm not a therapist.

Considering Akito's final decision to stay as the head of the family (albeit to take responsibility) and Shigure being a bit put off by it and the scene ending with that off-key background music that always plays whenever 'God fucks shit up'... In my opinion, this might be the saddest ending for an 'endgame-level' romantic pairing in Fruits Basket...

Two positive notes: Akito looked pretty and she gets Outfit Appreciation - 5 stars! It was pretty and gorgeous but also ha da slight edge of boss bitch to it. Also, Shigure being the only one at the party left behind to love Akito fully and wholly is sort of romantic?

BEST COUPLE OF THE YEAR.

YES - MY BIAS IS SHOWING. EAT MY SHORTS.

but, ALL THE GROWTH SHOWN IN THIS CONVERSATION WAS EXPONENTIAL.

Kyo planning his future and going beyond and being hopeful about it. Kyo not wanting Tohru to just give up everything for him. tOHRU'S FUCKING DETERMINATION NOT BEING HIDDEN UNDER A VEIL OF NICETIES?!

:))))))))))) 😁

I don't think I've ever fully stanned a heterosexual couple this hard in ANYTHING. (Heterosexual assumedly cos Tohru's definitely bi in my HCs)

I dunno.. I don't have much to say that hasn't already been said in previous recaps. They're great and their progression has been written so well! I feel like they have the most casually natural 'I wanna stay with you, if you'll let me' mostly because they've been in a relationship together since the beach arc (whether they know that or not) and the easiness of their dynamic has been pretty solidified between them. But, also because they are the best written and detailed relationship in the series. It just feels natural and without question.

Also, that slightly blurry/sun-dappled flash forward we got to married Kyoru was gorgeous and I definitely wasn't expecting it! (I kinda thought Tohru's sweat drop was her crying and I got worried for a minute lol)

Kiss kiss, fall in love :)

----------- QUICK SHOTS ----------------

Yuki's goodbye to the curse was, of course, the most gorgeous of the goodbyes. Very fitting.

We haven't heard Kyo say 'yo' literally since his first introduction in the series and I dunno, it was nice to see how unburdened and less angry he is in general. So refreshing!

Momiji and Kagura conspiring to pick on Kyo cos he's the reason for both of their own heartbreaks. Yes. >:))

It was really nice having Aya there just being dramatic Aya, you could tell that the zodiac felt more relaxed by his Aya-ness

It's interesting that when Akito was remembering her greatest hits of times she traumatised the zodiac that her moments with Kyo weren't there... You could argue that Kyo's trauma was more so tied to outer members of the Sohma family and the institution/culture behind the curse but... I dunno, there were some moments...

I dunno why but I genuinely find this screencap scary and it's a curse to my eyes so now you guys have to deal with it. That's all.

It's funny, Shigure's explanation of 'why he is the way he is' is pretty much the same as Loki's explanation as to why he's the way he is in the Loki show and yet I'm still here saying fuck Shigure and stanning Loki. I'm an impure human who will only submit to Gods. I guess lol

Ending the episode on Kyoko's thoughts during her death was definitely jarring but it was also definitely needed - just to reassure the audience! This is definitely Lydia Mackay's best performance as Kyoko, the emotions in her voice really pierced through me. And her sharing Ocean Heaven with Katsuya was beautiful but WHY WON'T WE EVER LOOK UPON KATSUYA'S FACE?!

It's cool tho. <3

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Man... do we only have one episode left? What do I do after this? Lol

Also, it's a nice touch that the first episode of Fruits Basket is 'See You After School' and (assumedly) the last episode of Fruits Basket is 'See You Again Soon'. It's the uncertainty for me 😭

See you next week!

#fruits basket #furuba #fruits basket season 3 #fruits basket 2021

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passionate-reply · 3 years

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This week on Great Albums: they’ve been called Duran Duran for art school nerds, and a whole lot worse, but you probably know them as...Japan! Find out what made their last album their best work, and how they landed one of the most unusual and experimental pop hits in history. Transcript after the break!

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! Today, I’ll be taking a look at an album that proved to be its creators’ hard-earned mainstream breakthrough, as well as their final release as a group: Tin Drum, by Japan. Japan had gotten their start in the mid-1970s, as a glam rock act, and as the 70s melted into the 80s, they kept up with the times, gradually sidling into the “New Romantic” scene--a movement which, in turn, owed many debts to glam pioneers like Roxy Music and David Bowie. By their fourth LP, 1980’s Gentlemen Take Polaroids, they had arrived at a lightly electronic pop sound that fit right in with the musical landscape of the early 80s.

Music: “Gentlemen Take Polaroids”

The following year, Japan would release Tin Drum, but it’s not exactly the album you would expect it to be--at least, not entirely.

Music: “The Art of Parties”

The most immediately striking feature of Tin Drum is its unique instrumentation. The rich and distinctive sounds of Chinese horns and African flutes jump out immediately, producing a powerful and distinctive accent upon what’s otherwise a somewhat conventional rock band arrangement. I feel like the “exotic” instruments here actually function in a similar manner to how the bands of this era who remained grounded in rock often approached synthesisers--that is, they add flourish and flair to the hooks, and bring an inherent timbral interest to the music, but ultimately, they’re used in a more condimental manner. Underneath all of this exoticism lurk the bones of pop excellence: the ineffable brilliance of a great hook, and some wondrously groovy basslines--the contribution of core member Mick Karn, on his distinctive fretless bass. Artsy as it is, it’s not so hard to believe that Tin Drum was the album that finally pushed Japan from cult darlings to artists with a major hit single to their name. But, when you hear what that single was, you may well be surprised.

Music: “Ghosts”

“Ghosts” is certainly a singular track, that stands out even on this fairly unconventional album. Its complete lack of percussion contributes immensely to its uncertain, unpredictable atmosphere of invisible menace--a bold move, for sure, but one that really delivers on the song’s premise. While “Ghosts” is fascinating and unforgettable, it’s far from the most obvious hit single you’ll find on Tin Drum. If I had to guess, I’d probably have pegged the lead single, “Visions of China,” as most likely to succeed.

Music: “Visions of China”

The dreamy “Visions of China” seems to center the idea that what we’re experiencing is a fantasy vision of Asia and not the real thing. Japan may have been a bunch of White, British guys playing around with Oriental aesthetics, but at least they appear to have been somewhat self-aware about it. Or, at least, we can come to that conclusion if we read the lyrics closely. It’s also very possible for a more casual listener to gloss over that aspect, especially when it’s so easy to get swept up in that triumphant refrain. While some critics might describe Tin Drum’s Orientalism as wholly or partially “ironic,” I think that idea forms the beginning of a conversation on how these themes are used, and not the end of one. The album’s closing track, “Cantonese Boy,” is much harder to take at face value.

Music: “Cantonese Boy”

Just how do you write a compelling song about a subject as controversial as Maoism? Many artistic portrayals of totalitarian regimes fail to resist the urge to play up their clownish and absurd appearances--Laibach being a prominent musical example. That can be valuable, but it’s also, comparatively, somewhat easy. “Cantonese Boy” is designed to lead us to sympathize with the beauty of the Communist dream, and presents an insidiously stirring vision of glory. But it’s hard to imagine listeners nodding along with it, and singing about the Red Army, despite its anthemic charms and driving, martial percussion. I think “Cantonese Boy” is the track that most successfully balances irony and sincerity, and it pays off.

Tin Drum’s cover features frontman David Sylvian in a lonely, austere dwelling. The New Romantic movement is often dismissed on the grounds of being style over substance, for its elabourate wardrobe and makeup aesthetics, but much as the music breaks expectations, the sparse surroundings here set this album apart as something more subtle or contemplative. The first thing one notices is this drab colour palette, which is particularly ascetic by 1980s standards, but the more you look at it, the more the little details of this interior scene stand out: the bare lightbulb, and the tears at the edges of this portrait of Mao, make it feel particularly threadbare.

It’s somewhat ironic that this album is most famous for a song with no drums at all, but is titled “Tin Drum.” That aside, though, I think it’s an interesting title overall. The expression “to bang a tin drum” signifies creating clamour and commotion to call attention to something, most often, a social or political cause. It seems to be used in that sense in the lyrics of “Cantonese Boy,” and straightforwardly so. But the title also calls attention to the album’s instrumentation, which is of course one of its most noteworthy qualities, and it centers the instrument itself, as a physical object. A thing is simply a thing, an inanimate object to be used and abused however human beings see fit. In a way, the title gives tacit permission for the album’s re-interpretations of exotic instruments.

Ultimately, I do think it’s hard to reckon with the impact of Tin Drum without asking some difficult questions about culture and race. In the early 1980s, Orientalism was all over pop, particularly in the New Wave and New Romantic scenes. A lot of hit singles from this era contain much more overtly upsetting caricatures and stereotypes of Asian people and their culture than anything you’ll find here. But just because Tin Drum is a bit better than that, and sells us what it does with more class and panache, doesn’t render it above criticism. Nor does the fact that Japan were well received by listeners in the country of Japan, and collaborated (elsewhere) with Japanese artists like Ryuichi Sakamoto. It’s still essentially an album that uses instruments and themes perceived as foreign and exotic, in an attempt to whisk us away to the world of the Other, and I don’t think it could possibly be made in this day and age. While I do think Tin Drum is a Great Album, and simply tossing it aside as “problematic” is no solution, I think it’s worth examining the ideas and associations underpinning how and why these artistic decisions were made. This isn’t an easy conversation to have, but it’s a necessary one, and one that I wish wasn’t so markedly absent among fans of the music.

As I mentioned in the introduction, Tin Drum would prove to be Japan’s final studio album as a group, and they would split up to pursue their separate ambitions shortly after. Percussionist Steve Jansen and synthesist Richard Barbieri would form “The Dolphin Brothers,” and take more influence from the synth-pop stylings of Gentlemen Take Polaroids, but Tin Drum’s evocative, experimental soundscapes would serve as the blueprint for the solo work of both Mick Karn and David Sylvian.

Music: “Pop Song”

My favourite track on Tin Drum is “Still Life in Mobile Homes.” It’s a track with a hell of a hook, and probably the single song that drifts through my mind at random times more than any other, which is saying something. But what really pushes it over the top for me is its eerie, surprisingly dissonant breakdown. In one track, it seems to distill all of the tension between avant-garde strangeness and pop par excellence that wrestle one another throughout the album. As always, thanks for listening!

Music: “Still Life in Mobile Homes”

#music #great albums #album review #album reviews #japan #japan (band)#japan (the band)#david sylvian #mick karn #new wave #new romantic #synth pop #synth-pop #synthpop

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maryroyale · 3 years

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The lovely @curiouselfqueen tagged me on this one. (Thank you! I love these things.)

Uh. I have *feelings* about these? I have no idea why I feel so strongly, but... uh... there you go.

deep violet or blood red? Both? Not at the same time, but I love both. Purple and red are both power colors, but they convey very different things. Old ladies are allowed to wear both because they have the power to pull it off.

sunshine or moonlight? Oof. My default answer is moonlight? Some of the medication I’m on makes my eyes super-sensitive to sunlight. I’m like a damn vampire. Even on cloudy days I need sunglasses. I like seeing the sunlight through the trees when I’m in the woods? It’s pretty and far less painful.

Don’t get me wrong—I do love the moonlight. It’s so beautiful. Winter moonlight and summer moonlight are gorgeous.

80s music or 90s music? How dare you! Don’t speak to me or my 874 music genres ever again. Seriously though, I really love music. I listen to a wide variety of genres and some artists span decades. I love new wave and synthpop, but I also love pop punk and the swing revival. I can’t say one decade is better than the other.

orchids or dahlias? I like to garden, and from a gardening standpoint it’s dahlias all the way. Orchids are a wildly diverse species (over 25,000 types), but the pretty, delicate orchids they sell in stores are not hardy and require a lot of intensive, specific support. They’ll die if you plant them outside where I live. And the garden outside is what makes me happy and brings me joy.

garnet or ruby? These are such different stones. It’s almost like asking if I like chocolate milk or cola. Yes, they are both brown and you can drink them—but they’re really not similar.

Garnet— it’s semi-precious, plentiful, in use since antiquity. A decent go-to stone for jewelry. Like any gemstone, the color is determined by the type of impurities, so garnet can be almost any color. Blue garnets are the rarest. The Mohs scale for garnet depends on those same impurities because some can actually strengthen the hardness of the stone. Generally 6 to 7.5 on the Mohs scale.

I like garnets. Depending on the talent of the jeweler you can get lovely pieces set in silver that won’t cost an arm, a leg, and your soul. It was also my mother’s birthstone, so there’s that.

Ruby— Occasionally confused with spinels, rubies are pieces of corundum that contain the impurity chromium. Corundum that contains the impurities iron, titanium, vanadium, or magnesium are usually blue and referred to as sapphires. (Pink sapphires are actually poor quality rubies that the jewelry industry decided to rebrand to dupe the public. Similar to “chocolate diamonds” and other attempts to sell gems that don’t meet the criteria for their type.)

Corundum is a 9 on the Mohs scale. They highly sought after, have a rich mythos surrounding them, and feature prominently in history.

It seems like a lot of hype to me? They’re sturdy pieces of jewelry, not prone to breakage, but they ought to be for the price you pay. They’re pretty, I’ll grant you that.

moths or butterflies? Well, one is nocturnal and one is diurnal. One is fuzzy and stocky and one is smooth and slender. One is drab and one is brightly colored. I feel like I should picks moths on principle. I love Luna Moths. But butterflies are so very, very pretty. Moths I guess?

Aphrodite or Athena? Okay... so, um, here’s where it’s going to get heated. I apologize. I am *specifically* addressing how Athena and Aphrodite were worshipped/treated in Greek myths. I’m not looking at proto versions from Minoa, Mycenae, or Phoenicia. I’m also not looking at later syncretizations with other cultures e.g. Rome. It is the Greek myths that matter here because those are the myths and attitudes that were directly incorporated into Western culture. We’ve learned a lot about their origins, but *those* myths and attitudes were *not* incorporated into mainstream Western culture.

Athena was either born from Zeus’ head or his thigh. Either she has no mother—Zeus is her only parent—or Zeus swallowed her mother Metis (wisdom, prudence, counsel). This is critically important. In Athenian law, the father was the only legal parent. Mothers had no legal rights to their children at all. Athena is a very real symbol of that.

She is often portrayed as the goddess of wisdom, handicraft, and war. She is a goddess of industry (wine and olive oil). The thing we must ask is what kind of wisdom? What kind of war?

Plato argues this in Cratylus— that Athena’s wisdom could be a number of things from divine knowledge to moral intelligence. I think it’s important that Plato, one of Greece’s most celebrated philosophers, and more important one of the philosophers most embraced by Western Culture praised this choice of “moral intelligence.” [see Plato’s stance on poets in The Republic.]

Athena’s war is not the war of Ares, which is tied to passion and emotion. Ares represents the brutal aspects of war where humanity gives way to cruelty and inhumanity. Athena’s warfare is rational and “just.” Athena makes war on behalf of the city-state. Athena makes war to defend the government.

Athena’s purpose in myth and in poetry and song is to support the government. She is the shield of the king. She upholds and enforces the status quo. Look at her role in the Orestes trilogy. She supplants the Erinyes [the furies originally hunted and tormented ppl who committed matricide]. She decides that Iphigenia’s murder didn’t matter. Clytemnestra (Iphigenia’s mother) didn’t have the right to revenge for her daughter. Orestes was *justified* in murdering his mother because she killed his parent, his father.

Aphrodite also has a motherless birth, but it’s more incidental and spontaneous. Kronos cuts off his father Uranus’ genitals ( like you do ) and tosses them into the sea. Aphrodite is born from the sea foam. There’s a different feel to Aphrodite’s myth. An independence almost. Yes, a male god was involved because it’s a Greek requirement for any child, but it’s in such an incidental way. There was no purpose or intent on Uranus’ part. He had no control over her birth.

Aphrodite is an incredibly independent goddess. She owns her own sexuality and has autonomy over her own body. She is often referred to as the wife of Hephaestus, but in both the Iliad and Hesiod’s Theogony, Hephaestus has wives with different names and Aphrodite is unmarried.

A goddess with this kind of freedom and power in her own right—not tied to a husband or male family member (sorry Artemis!)— is almost unheard of. It makes Aphrodite unique and interesting.

TLDR: I prefer Aphrodite.

grapefruit or pomegranate? Pomegranate. For so many reasons, not the least of which is it’s associations with death and fertility. It’s a lovely contrast and a reminder that death brings forth life e.g. Nurse logs.

angel’s halo or devil’s horns? Oof. This is another rant, guys. Horns as a symbol of divine power are used throughout history and throughout the Indo-European culture. From Egyptian gods like Amun and Isis to Hindu gods like Śiva to Canaanite gods like El and Yahweh, horns have been used to show their power and might. Moses has most famously been depicted with horns due to murky/difficult translations of the Hebrew verb keren/qaran, which can mean BOTH “to send forth beams/rays” and “to be horned”.

There was a concerted effort to associate horns with the devil/evil/bad. Horns are also used to imply fertility/abundance, and that may have played into the perception of horns as devilish. Moses with horns was used as a jumping off point to demonize Jewish people during the Medieval period in a variety of European countries and cultures.

Halos, too, have been used across history and cultures as a symbol of divine power. Sumerian literature talks about a bright emanation that appears around gods and heroes. Chinese and Japanese Buddhist art shows Buddhist saints with halos.

I choose horns because I choose to reclaim that divine power. I reject the idea that either symbol is wholly good or wholly evil. I reject the idea that sexuality by itself is evil/wrong.

sirens or banshees? Both!!! I must admit a partiality to Sirens that is based wholly on my preference for the sea/ocean.

lorde or florence + the machine? Both!!! I love both groups and I’ve listened to their albums so many times. I will admit that I end up listening to Lorde more often when writing.

the birth of venus or the starry night? Huh. I’m going to assume that you mean the painting by Boticelli, even though there’s more than one Birth of Venus.

Honestly, Venus Anadyomene (Venus rising from the sea) is my favorite. It’s her origin myth and anyone could paint it, draw it, write about it, and put their own spin on it. It is malleable because it is myth. It lives on and changes and grows with us. Boticelli’s version is particularly lovely.

Starry Night (1889) belongs to VanGogh. No one can really recreate it without copying his style or his vision. Verschuier’s The Great Comet of 1680 Over Rotterdam could never really be confused with Starry Night. Not even Munch’s Starry Night (1893) could be confused for VanGogh. The two paintings are wildly different in subject matter despite the fact that their subject is the night sky.

I doubt any modern painter would dare. O’Keefe called hers Starlight Night, and I can only guess that others would follow that naming pattern of not quite using the title Starry Night.

Boy, I bet @curiouselfqueen is regretting tagging me now... sorry?

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longformautie · 4 years

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Addressing sexism of autistic men

CW: gender-based violence, including murder and rape

I. Introduction

This post has been coming for a long time. And I mean a LONG time. My thoughts on this topic have been evolving constantly. They will probably evolve even after I post this. I am still learning and welcome feedback.

I was prompted to write this post during the pre-coronavirus Before Times, when I saw that the popular Facebook page Humans Of New York had profiled an autistic man who had become a pickup artist. For context, pickup artists are a group of straight men who will cynically do whatever it takes to get them laid, which of course means blatantly ignoring the needs of the women they interact with, and who share strategies with one another. The autistic man in the photo post talked about how before he was a pickup artist he was hopeless with women, and now he was getting girls - getting laid, even. He said he knew it was manipulative, but that it was only fair - after all, it’s not like anyone had ever sympathized with him for his social difficulties. I was curious about what people had to say in the comments section; turns out, I wasn’t satisfied by any of the takes I found.

The takes I didn’t like can be broken down into two categories. Category number one were formulations like “poor him, he just wants to be accepted.” I’m not even a little bit sympathetic to this take and will only be spending a moment on it. Suffice it to say, it’s hard to take these people at their word that they care about the autism struggle when they don’t show up in droves to the banners of the neurodiversity movement with this level of enthusiasm. Rather, we are part of a culture that likes to sympathize with toxic men. If the man wasn’t autistic, they’d find some other excuse, but since he is, in defending him they can also activate the ableist notion that autistic people are incapable of respecting boundaries. I choose the word “incapable” because if your position is that autistic people sometimes don’t know better than to violate a boundary, the logical conclusion is simply that someone should teach them. To sincerely and enthusiastically take up this kind of “poor autistic guy doesn’t know any better” rhetoric, you have to presume complete incompetence of autistic people and that we’ll never learn, so that when a straight autistic man does a violating thing to a woman, they can shrug their shoulders and say, “well, I guess nothing can be done about this.” This attitude is sexism and ableism couched in a delusion of sympathy.

Category number two of takes, I like lots better but still am not quite satisfied with, and can be roughly summarized: “This isn’t caused by autism, it’s caused by being an asshole.” While I agree that being an asshole is the main ingredient in this cocktail, I don’t think the autism should be dismissed as an irrelevant detail. I think there is a sexism problem specific to autistic men that needs to be separately talked about and addressed. I intend to do so in this post, without assigning blame either to the autism or to the women being abused.

I want to note in advance that this post will be cishet-centric, not because I think straight experiences are universal, partly because the behavior of cishet men is what’s at task here, but mostly because I have no idea how these issues affect LGBTQIA communities. If anyone is able and willing offer insight or resources on that topic, I’d love to hear from you.

I. Autistic men

Having experienced it firsthand, I can say for sure that autistic loneliness is a vicious cycle. By loneliness, I mean a lack of any social connection, not just a lack of romantic or sexual partners. Autism makes social interaction more difficult, which makes it harder to find friends, but, crucially, not having friends also makes social interaction more difficult. More people to interact with means more practice with social interaction; it also means more assistance from comparatively clued-in people who care about us. This vicious cycle can also manifest with respect to a subset of people. For example, an autistic child who only socially interacts with adults may have trouble forming connections with peers. For the purpose of this discussion, I want to focus on the problems this presents for autistic boys who want to interact with girls in their age group.

The scarcity of cross-gender social interaction during childhood need not be framed as a uniquely autistic experience. Societal forces sort us by gender from an incredibly early age, so the vast majority of our social connections in childhood are with people of the same gender. Furthermore, especially during and after adolescence, boys and men are discouraged from being emotionally close with one another. Thus, the norms of masculinity isolate us almost totally from peers of all genders. Our social connections with men must be superficial; our social connections with women must be non-platonic. For those of us who crave the emotional intimacy that our same-gender friendships lack, a romantic relationship is the only socially acceptable opportunity to forming a deep, loving bond with someone close to our own age.

Enter autism (again). Dating, when we hit adolescence, is wholly new to us, and we have been given no opportunity to adjust ourselves to its social norms. Autism makes this a particular challenge, as do gender roles in dating. Since men are supposed to initiate and women are supposed to merely give subtle hints (if not be straight-out “hard to get”), straight autistic men face both the pressure of leaping into an arena that intimidates us, and the bewilderment of not knowing whether it’s working. If I had a crush on you in high school, I probably kept it a secret; if you had a crush on me, I probably didn’t notice.

Worth noting here that none of the things I’ve listed are evidence against autistic men’s actual attractiveness or appeal to women. We are facing access barriers that accumulate over the course of our lives until we finally figure out how to start ripping them down, and when we do, we quite often do get to have romantic and sexual relationships. But the prevailing narrative about autism and other disabilities is that they’re unsexy, and a lot of autistic men buy into that. I myself thought I was one of those autistic men who’d never date or have sex until experience taught me otherwise.

Knowing all this, we can see why a lot of autistic men might feel both that they need a relationship to be happy, and that they cannot possibly have one. This makes us prime targets for recruitment, because the sense of personal injury at being deprived of sexual experiences for reasons beyond one’s control is as indispensable an ingredient in the various movements of the “manosphere” as the sexism itself. It’s not that autistic men are any more or any less sexist than regular men, but that the sexists among us already feel exactly the way these communities require them to feel: deeply aggrieved, and deeply desperate. Pickup artistry both validates this sense of personal injury, and sells itself as the solution: a set of simple, logical rules that, when followed, will grant success. But it misses the uncomfortable truth that while everyone deserves to receive love, no particular person is obliged to give it. This is a deeply frustrating contradiction with no easy solution, but the solution certainly is not to cynically manipulate women into doing the thing you want.

III. Allistic women

I never was a pickup artist, but that doesn’t mean I never harbored a grievance against women for my loneliness. After all, I thought, wouldn’t my perpetual singleness end if women were more direct and assertive? As such, I worry that other people who read this may end up pinning the responsibility for autistic loneliness onto individual women too. The previous section hints at why that’s wrong, but I also want to take the time to explain why it’s deeply unfair.

My autism and masculinity were first brought into conjunction (or was it conflict?) in my mind in my freshman year of college. One of my new Facebook friends shared a Tumblr blog called “Straight White Boys Texting” which was a collection of screenshots of unwanted straight white boy texts, running the gamut from simple inability to take a hint to bona fide “what color is your thong” garbage. I felt pretty attacked, partly because I wasn’t yet used to seeing myself as part of a “straight white boys” collective that people didn’t like, and partly because what I saw was a bunch of guys missing social cues and taking things literally, just as a younger me would have done. I felt like I needed to say something - and boy, was that a bad decision. I said something about how the women in the screenshots needed to be more direct, and got instant (and deserved) backlash both for focusing on the least important problem in the interactions and for placing responsibility for a male behavior problem squarely back onto women.

At the time, I didn’t have a coherent framework for understanding sexism. Since then, I’ve learned that giving a direct no can occasionally get women killed, and most often at least gets them yelled at and insulted. Giving a yes also comes with its own risks - the risk of rape, in (unfortunately-not-actually-so-)extreme cases where that inch of “yes” results in guys taking a mile, but also the more pervasive risk of being socially stigmatized as slutty or promiscuous. It’s often the most women can get away with to be subtle (rather than completely silent) about all of their wants and needs, so that a discerning man who actually cares will know what those wants and needs are and respect them.

This puts those of us who have trouble with reading subtle signals in a difficult position if we inadvertently cross a boundary, but that’s not a problem women can reasonably be expected to solve. If a man crosses a woman’s boundaries because he simply doesn’t respect them, he wants to make it look like it’s an accident so that he will be forgiven. “But Aaron,” you might say, “didn’t you just say that the right thing to do in those situations is to teach people the right behavior, not ignore it?” Yes, that’s true. But that assumes the continuation of a conversation that a woman might feel safer just skipping; if a man is making her feel uncomfortable, she’s probably not inclined to continue to converse with him in order to establish whether his intentions were good or bad. When we impose the burden of freeing males from loneliness onto women, we are asking them to continue to interact with frightening men at their own peril.

Ironically enough, some of these frightening men are the autistic pickup artists from part 1. This means that pickup artists, far from “solving” the problems with dating they feel aggrieved by, are actually making it more difficult for everyone except themselves by giving women one more reason to be scared and cynical, and men who slip up one more type of monster to be mistaken for.

IV. Autistic women

At first glance, it seems like there’s a choice to be made here, between supporting autistic men who want to be valued as potential romantic and sexual partners and supporting allistic women who just want to be safe. But what I’m realizing more and more is that when there seems to be a conflict between the needs of two marginalized groups, the right choice is generally to avoid picking a side and instead find ways to support both groups. This works well, not only because both groups get what they want, but because if a side must be chosen, the people at the intersection of the two groups will lose both ways.

Autistic women bear the brunt of every part of this mess, as described in detail by Kassiane Asasumasu on her blog, Radical Neurodivergence Speaking (see the links later in this paragraph). Because autistic men fear ableism from neurotypical women, we tend to believe that autistic women are the only partners who will accept us for who we are. As a result, autistic women report being swarmed at autism meetup groups by men looking for a girlfriend, and those men who struggle with independent living are more than willing to escape that by leaning on the patriarchal expectation that the woman does all the chores, even when she is an autistic woman who struggles with the exact same tasks. This means autistic women actually interact with sexist autistic men the most, and not only are they subject to the same toxic shit that allistic women have to deal with, but they’re also expected to “understand” these men and thus endlessly tolerate their (supposedly inevitable) shitty behavior.

V. Solutions

Fortunately, the choice between female safety and autistic desirability is not a choice we have to make, but the solutions are not as simple as members of one or the other group simply choosing to behave differently. Rather, they require the collective participation of all kinds of people.

Addressing autistic male sexism necessarily means addressing sexism. It means respecting when women say no, rather than making it an unpleasant experience they might fear to repeat. It means teaching consent in special education classrooms, so that no one can claim in good faith that an autistic boy who crosses a boundary simply doesn’t know better. It means teaching girls, as they grow into women, that they are under no obligation to tolerate sexist behavior out of sympathy for the sexist man.

But addressing sexism also means supporting boys and men as they escape the confines of conventional masculinity. It means enabling and encouraging them to have close friends of all genders. It means reminding them that they don’t need a woman, any more than a woman needs a man.

In addition to addressing sexism, we need to address the ableism that prevents autistic people from accessing not just dating but emotional closeness of all kinds. We need to stimulate autistic people’s peer relationships at all stages of life. We cannot do this if special ed teachers continue to view us as broken allistic people rather than whole autistic people, nor can we do it if they view us as incomplete adults rather than entire children. If an autistic boy is unable to learn about condoms because it offends the sensibilities of the teacher, or if he is unable to learn how to talk like a teenager because his parents would like him to learn to speak like an adult, then that autistic boy is being deprived both of autonomy and of the opportunity to learn.

Furthermore, we need to teach allistic children how to interact with their autistic peers. Autistic people need no additional incentive to learn how to interact with the societal majority who control their access to jobs, housing, healthcare, education, political representation, and much more. Allistic people can, however, choose not to bother learning how to support and include us and face almost no social consequences beyond not getting to see my cool maps. Rather than alleviating this unequal distribution of incentives, adults generally exacerbate it by focusing only on the social development of autistic children with respect to interactions with allistic people, but not on the social development of allistic children towards being able to interact with autistic people. This is because the prevailing view regarding autism is still that our modes of moving through the world are incorrect and defective, whereas allistic modes of social interaction are viewed as normal and valid even when they exclude others.

The problem of autistic male sexism is hairy and complicated, but if we take the above steps, we can solve it without further stigmatizing autism, and without victim-blaming women. We don’t have to leave anyone behind in this conversation. Rather, by fighting both for autism acceptance and consent culture, we can produce a more just world where everyone gets the love and respect that they deserve.

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transqueerquestions · 4 years

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Help! I'm in a sex ed class and volunteered to talk be on QnA a panel with other trans people to talk about our experiences in front of hundreds of people!! I'm the only young person there so I'm really scared and nervous about this. Do you have any advice on how to talk to cis people about being trans?? I don't wanna be a representative but I'm terrified of what they're gonna ask!!

Tobi: Hey nonnie! That sounds like a super exciting opportunity! I can understand the nervousness (I’ve done so many talks and presentations now but STILL get queasy every time I step in front of a group of people), and that’s alright! I’m super proud of you for volunteering!

As for your specific question, something that might be helpful is to remember that cis people, while they have a different experience with gender than trans inidividuals, they don’t all have the same experience, just like trans individuals don’t always have the same experiences. There’s no “one size fits all” way to think about people, just like there’s no “one size fits all” gender experience. Therefore, it’s incredibly difficult to describe any one experience a trans individual has to someone who doesn’t have the same innate concepts of being trans.

However, don’t let this get you down as “gender” is something that we all as humans have in common. We all have a relationship with our own gender, and the best way to relate two entirely different experiences is to find that commonality. Whether you’re transgender or cisgender, somehow you have some understanding of WHY that’s the case. I personally have a very interesting relationship with my own gender. Until I was 16 I had no reason to question that I was AFAB, so I essentially lived life as a “cisgender female” until I was 16 years old. I now know I’m trans, specifically a trans male, but because I had that unique relationship with being raised and not questioning my gender until 16, I personally choose to refer to that period of time as “when I was female” whereas the entirety of my life is a “trans experience” as I now realize. Everyone has a unique relationship with their own gender and their own concept of gender.

I’ve often seen the concept of being trans attempt to be explained to cis individuals by way of inviting them to “imagine they are the opposite gender”. This doesn’t work for a variety of reasons, but I’ll explain the two main ones:

Firstly, inviting people who haven’t had the first hand experience of questioning their gender to “imagine” being something they aren’t, only reainforces the idea that being trans is something that is “imagined” or “created” by the individual, instead of wholly experienced. By inviting cis people to “imagine” themselves as a different gender, it’s a “play” activity, an “imaginative” activity, and an activity that both subtly and outright, frames being trans as something that isn’t based in real and concrete feelings and therefore reinforces the idea that being trans is a “choice”, and therefore is something others can “choose” to accept or not.

Secondly, it doesn’t actually do well at “describing” the experience of being trans. By “imagining” yourself as a different gender, you’re not experiencing BEING that gender. Trans individuals ARE their gender, it’s part of their identity. While I grew up for 16 years thinking I was female, I was STILL a boy that entire time, I just didn’t have any concept of what “trans” meant, nor any concrete reason to question what I was told, so I never had any reason to “question” my gender. However, once someone used he/him pronouns for me, I had a rush of feeling like “that’s the most correct thing I’ve ever heard”, and my journey towards finding out I was trans started.

So, how DO you explain the “transgender” experience to those who are cis? There is one piece of advice I’ve found to be the easiest way to view gender: When thinking about your own gender, as that’s the only gender you have any power over, it is always best to ask the question “what would make me happiest?” rather than “what am I?” You are your own individual person and YOU are the only one that can fully understand, define, and share YOUR experiences. That includes your identity, which includes your gender (among other things like your relationship with culture, religion, how you express yourself, etc!)

Basically, that was a long winded way of explaining that “gender” isn’t easy to explain. It’s hard enough figuring out your own, let alone attempting to have others fully understand a different person’s experience. Anyway, in reference to the activity above, something you could to inspire a small amount of what it’s like being trans: invite people to think of what their lives would be like if almost everyone never referred to them as what their gender is. For example, if you identified as a woman, how would it feel if everyone you met called you by a name that wasn’t yours, used “he/him” pronouns, and said you “looked like a guy” when asked?

Other than that, do your best to explain the ideology of “gender” being an individual experience. No two people experience the same, and the only “gender” you have power over is your own.

I hope this helps, and I’m sorry if I rambled a bit too much, but I wanted to answer this one decently quickly in hopes to reach you before your panel! Thanks so much for reaching out and feel free to ask any clarification questions! Good luck!!

#answered #tobi answers #trans experiences #public speaking #information

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hellyeahheroes · 5 years

Video

youtube

In celebration of Superman Smashes the Klan #1 premier, here is Gene Luen Yang TEDx talk. And bellow is part of his Interview for POCCulture.

POC Culture: Switching gears to Superman Smashes the Klan, a really unique and timely project. You mentioned that you were reluctant in terms of taking it on, where did that come from and why did you ultimately decide to do it?

GLY: For this project I put in a proposal for it with DC Comics, but shortly after I did, I did feel kind of freaked out about it. It deals with a lot of subjects that are touchy in modern day America. It’s about racism – the fundamental question behind it is whether or not a multicultural country can work. It was a question that was around after World War II ended, which was when the original story came out, and I think that question has reared its head again in very intense way. And it’s not just in America, the question of multiculturalism has reared its head all over the globe right now. As someone who grew up in the 80s and 90s, it’s really unexpected.

Q: The book is inspired by the Superman radio story Clan of the Fiery Cross, which itself is credited with subverting some of the KKK’s efforts in the 40s. What is the message that you’re hoping to get across?

GLY: I went into the project wanting to learn myself. I wanted to learn about the 40s and what America was like after the end of the war. After doing my research, this is what I came away thinking – before World War II there had always been two streams in America: One stream that was “All human beings are created equal” and then there was another stream that was “These particular people are worth 3/5ths.” And these two streams were competing. Then in World War II, America went across the ocean to fight these Nazis. but really a big core of the Nazi philosophy was centered around Madison Grant, who was an American. He was an advisor to President Theodore Roosevelt. He was a conservationist but also a pretty intense eugenicist and deeply racist. He wrote this book called The Passing of the Great Race and Hitler called this American book his Bible. So in some ways, as an American, you can see World War II as our country going across the ocean to face ourselves, or the worst version of ourselves. And when the war ends and the American troops come back, I think they saw what one of the streams of American history led to – it leads to concentration camps, it leads to genocide – so there was this embrace of the other side, at least in these really big and influential corners of America. It wasn’t 100%. It was an imperfect embrace, it was incomplete, but there was this sense that we saw what that other way of thinking leads to and we don’t want that. I think we’ve forgotten that. Whatever we learned by fighting the worst version of ourselves in Europe, we’ve forgotten.

I think that Superman radio show, it came out a year after the end of the war, in some ways you can see a crystallization of what America learned in World War II.

Q: Backing up a little bit, how familiar were you previously with this radio show and where did the inspiration come from to propose it to DC Comics?

GLY: I learned about it the same way a lot of other folks learned about it, I read Freakonomics and they devoted an entire chapter to this. After I read that, I told my son about it and talked with him about it. Then I found this middle-grade book called Superman versus the Klu Klux Klan by Rick Bowers and it goes into detail about the creation of Superman and the Klan and how they eventually came to a head in 1946. So it was always in the back of my mind. Then after I began working for DC Comics, I was at a book conference, I had breakfast with a couple of the editors at DC Comics and we were talking about this and this project came out of that conversation.

Q: I’ve heard you say that Superman is a symbol of American tolerance and his story is, at its core, an immigrant story. How much of that do you get to tackle in this book?

GLY: When I first signed on to do Superman, I did 10 issues beginning in 2015, that was my connection point with the character. I had always thought of Superman as this dweeb and kind of a square. That flipped for me when I realized the reason he’s a square is the same reason my parents are square – it’s because they’re immigrants. They know they’re foreigners and they know that there’s a part of them that’s deeply threatening to the people around them. So they gotta hide it under this perfect facade. They have to be the perfect citizens because if they’re not, people will start questioning their citizenship. That same dynamic is there for Superman. So that was my connection point and that’s kind of what I wanted to talk about. Writing mostly superhero comics is really crazy! I had a great time doing it, but at the same time, I felt like I never got to explore that core of the character and that’s what this is. This is me being able to talk about that.

I actually think that’s one of the big differences between Batman and Superman. Batman dresses up to be scary. Batman’s a WASP! [laughing] He fits right in! There’s nothing scary about him. If things had gone the way they were supposed to go, if his parents were never killed, he’d probably be like some kind of politician or something. You know? Everybody would love him. He’d go to these fund raising galas. He’d become the mayor of Gotham. But Superman, deep down inside, is legitimately scary. He’s this foreigner, he’s an immigrant, he’s from this completely different culture. So I think he wears these bright colors so people don’t freak out about him as much.

Q: Wow. I love it but after this interview posts, you’re going to get Batman stans all up in your mentions! [laughing]

GLY: [Laughing] Yeah sure. That’s fine!

Q: I love it because it’s so true to my own immigrant experience. Growing up, my parents were always like “Don’t make too much noise at home. Don’t play your music too loud because you’re going to bother neighbors.” So that experience of needing to be so perfect so others don’t start questioning whether you should be here is so true but I don’t think anybody has talked about that with regards to Superman.

GLY: I think that’s exactly it. He’s the boy scout because he has to be. He’s trying to get people not to question whether he should be a citizen.

Q: Prior to this you created and wrote Kenan Kong and the Justice League of China, which is one of my favorite stories ever. I know you initially had some reluctance to do that project and Jim Lee encouraged you. Looking back now, what was the highlight of that project and is there anything that you wish you had gotten chance to do?

GLY: That was super fun. I’m really glad I did it even though I was very hesitant at the beginning. I was hesitant because they didn’t want a Chinese-American Superman. I felt like I could’ve done a Chinese-American Superman. They wanted a Chinese Superman living in China. I’d never lived in China before and I’d only visited twice. I just felt like I didn’t have the insider’s knowledge to do it right. Ultimately I had to make peace with that. I had to make peace with the fact that this was going to be an American take on a Chinese superhero. To anybody who lives in America, I’m sure it feels very American. Have you ever heard of this comic called Lucky Luke? It’s a French comic set in the American West. It’s like a Western with cowboys and high noon shootouts but it’s done by a French cartoonist. It’s set in America but it feels very French but I still think it’s an awesome comic. I was hoping that’s what this was going to be like – it going to feel like an American comic that’s set in China. So once I got over that hurdle, I started working on it. In the end, I think I feel like my favorite part of that project was being able to do a chubby Chinese Batman (Wang Baixi). I’m super proud of that!

Q: [Laughing] And he was great too! What’s amazing is that at first you think “What in the world? Is this a parody?” but you made his character awesome!

GLY: Well thanks! I wanted to play with this trope. It’s like a kung-fu movie trope where you have this chubby guy come on screen and everyone laughs at him and he just whoops everybody’s butt. He turns out to be the best out of all of them. I think there’s a subversiveness to that in kung-fu movies, where it’s a warning to not judge people by appearances and I wanted to play with that too with Batman.

Q: Sammo Hung fans agree with you!

GLY: [Laughing] Exactly! Sammo Hung is Batman!

Q: You mentioned that you would’ve been interested in doing an Asian-American version. That’s the tension right now. China is a huge market that everyone wants to tap into, but there’s also this Asian-American market that’s very hungry. Do you want to do more Asian-American characters and stories. Is there anything like that on the horizon for you?

GLY: Yeah I absolutely do want to do more Asian-American characters and stories. There’s nothing…concrete yet but that’s definitely on my to-do list.

Q: Kenan Kong and the Justice League of China, are we going to see them again soon?

GLY: I hope so! There’s nothing concrete yet but I would love to do more stories. I feel like the Asian corner of the DC universe in general has plenty of material there that ought to be fleshed out. And hopefully we’ll be able to see that happen soon.

Q: Agreed. Whenever there’s a new diverse character that’s created, there’s always the conflict of whether they should be given a wholly new identity and try to build them up, or should we allow them to share an iconic mantle like Kenan and Superman. Not promising anything but what would you like to see in terms of the next evolution of Kenan Kong and any of the others?

GLY: We did talk about giving Kenan his own identity apart from Superman. We didn’t get to that point of the series where we were able to introduce that but that was something we definitely talked about. In terms of diversity, I think you need both. You need characters that take on established legacies and you also need characters that establish new identities and new legacies. When you have something like a Korean-American Hulk, or Miles Morales, you’re tapping into a name recognition that I think is really important for visibility. But at the same time, as popular as Miles Morales is, Spider-Man is still going to be Peter Parker first for most readers. So the way to overcome that is to also have characters of color establish new stories and identities.

Q: There’s a significant burden that comes with being one of the primary Asian-American writers in comics. How do you manage that?

GLY: I’m interested in doing that. Maybe it would be different if I didn’t want to write Asian-American characters, but I really want to write Asian-American characters, so I don’t know if I even think of it as a burden. It’s just something I’m naturally interested in. It’s actually something I want to do. Even if they didn’t pay me, I would being doing this. Even when I was losing money in comics, I was doing this.

Q: I love that you embrace that. Going back to Jeremy Lin, he’s talked about how at first he didn’t know that he wanted to be the Asian-American standard bearer, but he’s come to embrace that. You’re the Jeremy Lin of DC Comics!

GLY: [Laughing] I don’t know about that! There’s Greg Pak, though he hasn’t written in DC in a long time. There’s Amy Chu. There’s a lot of us.

Here is first part of that interview

- Admin

#Superman Smashes the Klan #New Super-Man #Super-Man #Kenan Kong #Kong Kenan #DC #DC Kids #Long Post

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tothedarkdarkseas · 4 years

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The funny thing is...I've been waiting to send you asks! So, first of all, I ADORE your characterization of 2Doc. It may very well be my favorite, in fact. You describe your version as "harsher." I understand why, but are there any "softer" characterizations you enjoy? As in, what is your standard of "softness" for the lads? Do you enjoy any "soft" portrayals of 2Doc in the fandom? Do you enjoy any other characterizations besides your own?

First and foremost, thank you so much for saying that! That truly means a lot to me. I know maybe that just sounds like a thing people say, like “I appreciate your support,” but it really does mean more than you realize. Writing can occupy a weird space in fandom, especially this one, and it’s easy to feel sort of isolated. I can be a defeatist and I’ve never really considered myself A Writer, I just… have written things. I feel like you need to be better at it and do it with more frequency to be A Writer, haha. So to hear things like that is a real kindness. I do say my content is harsher, and I say that to express that I understand why people may not like and may not engage with it. I get it! But conversely, it’s simply true that people want to feel like they have an audience and there is a point to making content aside from just… the personal spectacle of it. Like, if it’s gonna be a spectacle, make it entertaining! So that bolsters me, sincerely, it does. (And please feel free to send me asks if you’d like! I also just don’t get a lot of asks for those same reasons, the content being kinda unlikable and me being rather sporadic in posts and hey, I get it– but it’s always nice.)

Sorry that I’m sort of answering these out of order, but I’ve got to pay dues right away to the last bit: “Do you enjoy any other characterizations besides your own?” Absolutely! My version of 2Doc is not my favorite 2Doc, and I’d barely call it mine! From the start my characterization has been lovingly ripped off from @elapsed-spiral, specifically their entire-Gorillaz-canon-spanning fic Yearz. When I got into the fandom as a relative newcomer, Yearz was only a few chapters in. I was not entirely on board shipping 2Doc at the time because I hadn’t really been sucked in by any of the shorter fics I’d read, which tended to depict Stu a bit wet and hard to get much of a grip on. I really had an itch in me to like Stu and be Controversial:tm: with his character, and Yearz not only scratched it but cleaved my arm off! Oi! The reason I began writing was wholly due to the foundation Danni laid. I wouldn’t have bothered if I hadn’t seen what an ugly but gripping and human experience you could portray with these characters, and known there was a place for it and someone could really enjoy it. I don’t think there’s anyone who follows me and isn’t already familiar with Yearz, but on that chance, gotta be clear that I consider my 2Doc to just be a spinoff of what Danni had already paved the way for! If you want to see these guys be harsh and incompatible but inescapably tethered, and have all the jokes actually land, @elapsed-spiral‘s characerization is what you’re after.

So, my standard for softness. This is difficult to describe well and I apologize upfront if it’s just a messy ramble, but I feel there’s a distinction between enjoying things in a respectful way, in a way that acknowledges skill and storytelling, and getting a warm-and-fuzzy sort of enjoyment out of them. I’ve definitely read and enjoyed softer portrayals of them as well-written stories, but I do think of my own characterization as very removed from that. What is “standard soft” for me is not very, but that has no bearing on whether soft stories are good or not! There is a certain “tenderness culture” on Tumblr and I respect it, I see no problem in making the most personally fulfilling content possible– but in response to the demand for that alone, it at times feels like there’s a necessity to explain yourself, or to force a happy ending just so it’s seen as having a “purpose.” (I mean, fair, realistically my stories serve no purpose at all. They are an exercise in futility 100%) This is not necessarily a popular viewpoint, but for myself, I don’t think the main purpose of a story is making you feel any specific way, good or bad– the main purpose is to tell a story the reader can think about and engage with, and if you tell it well enough they’ll feel what it’s appropriate to feel. It is a vitally important bonus in distinguishing “passable” stories from “good” ones, and that emotional response is what makes you feel connected to the material and author, but it’s not all a story has to be. What we feel connected to won’t always look the same, and it won’t ever reach an entire audience the same way. But mostly, when it comes to the sweeter side of 2Doc– me giving a “stamp of approval” is totally worthless, I don’t think anyone writing actually enjoyable stories that people feel good reading are aiming to hook me, haha. Nor should they! I’d never want someone to add hard edges they don’t like onto the soft stories that inspired them, they matter and they’re cherished as they are! As long as one kind of content exists, that’s a good reason for another kind to exist, and another, and then– thank god!– we get many pieces of work with completely different ideas behind them.

As for an extremely soft writer who I think is just phenomenal, you can’t miss @supposed2bfunny! Beck’s been filling this role in the fandom in such a unique way and it’s clear why so many connect with her. There is a hard-baked romance to her writing that is undeniable, and I mean that in a very classic sense. Her grip on language and personal poetic style is very enjoyable to me no matter how much “our 2Docs” resemble each other or not! I hope Beck knows that I very much respect not only her talent, but the soft heart that goes into it. People need that, and people will always need that! It’s a very human thing, to seek things that resonate with you, and I have a great love for human things!

#long post #sorry for length!#Anonymous

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seungeunoh · 4 years

Text

Would You Really Get Paid to Travel (or for Free?)

Well, I understand , I know... the pains of linking flights, delays, cancellations, lugging bags a mile across terminals... the hassle of leasing automobiles, fighting traffic in an overseas country (and figuring out which side of the road to drive) and trying to discover what the guy is telling you if all's you asked was"where is the bathroom?" ... Aside from all that, is it perhaps not the best sense whenever you can resign from the standard routine, take a few deep breaths and realize you've got nothing to do but lay on the shore... your hardest decision is if you will get steak or veggie that night... along with your main worry is if you have enough sunlight? That is what traveling is all about... when it transposes us from our regular lifestyles and places us in a wholly new culture... seeing, breathing, and eating and dancing into exactly what people 10,000 miles away from you're doing and thinking to yourself"this is the kind of stuff you see on TV". That's when it's all worth it... that's why travel is so amazing.

But, only one of - if not"THE" - biggest challenges in traveling is that little green bit (or many bits ) of newspaper named MONEY. Whether you are trying to search for a friend in Dallas or take your wife to Bora-Bora, it all costs Money-and a lot of it. The occasions of those Southwest"$49.00" fares are long gone and the small weekend getaways whack a dent in your pocketbook. There are ways to shave a few dollars in some places, but no matter how you slice it, travel is costly. Not everybody has a cush, 7 or 6 figure salary which allows them to simply take off 6 day weekends or weeks at the same time for you to party in Ibiza. So, is there really a way to travel-and I mean really travel-and either receive money or travel for"free"??

The travel sector is an $8 TRILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY. Yes, you read that right... that's Trillion with a capital"T". Therefore, aside from the hotels, airlines and bag manufacturers, how will you join up?

Let's take a look at some of the ways you can earn a living, traveling across the world:

Flight Attendant: This is actually a wonderful way to visit a LOT of places-FAST. The ordinary flight attendant makes $37,000.00 a year, with the greater degree salaries hovering from the $75,000.00-$90,000.00 range. It's certainly a bonus if you know more than just one (1) language. Flight attendants receive a daily per Diem for food, together with flexible work schedules, discounts on flights, hotels and travel expenses for vacation. The disadvantage is that after you're working, the flight program might be grueling-traveling into multiple cities at a 12, 18 or 24 hour time frame. When you finally stop to rest, the desire to go sight seeing or take a look at the city, has been exchanged out with the simple necessity to sleep in a bed. Also I forgot to mention... have you NOT seen a couple angry, annoyed or upset people on your own plane? Yep, be prepared to manage those rude customers through your 12-24 hour shift!

Commercial Airline Pilot: Same deal with flight attendants, concerning labour program, but the pay is significantly better-depending on the magnitude of this jet along with company, it is possible to be making $121,000.00 a year. If you want to head to flight school, then pass your minimum 250 hours of flight experience, then do it! Just make sure you have perfect vision and hearing. Again, if you want to earn this a career, you are going to see cities all over the country (and the world), but be ready to deal with tens of thousands of customers, weather and equipment problems, grueling schedules and also the stress that comes along with the responsibility of flying so many people to unique places.

Travel Agent: As you may already understand, traveling agents know about the greatest places to see. They are the middle men between the hotels, airlinesand tourism bureaus along with also the travelers. More than likely, they've got an chance to visit some of these places in order that they are able to see every thing for themselves-that's quite a sweet flavour, eh? Common salary are everywhere from $25,000.00 to $35,000.00 and probably be asked to register in some type of training, on average with the Travel Institute.

Freelance Writer or Photographer: What a cool job this would be... traveling all over the entire world... spending time with numerous cultures, observing how the people convey, eat, sleep and worship. You truly are"free", relaying what you visit and experience to individuals sitting on their seat, thousands of kilometers apart. Simply grab... well, it's this 1 thing we talked of a little earlier: MONEY. Apparently, you're not going to receive money until you reach such places, therefore make sure you plan this out a bit, fill up some green in your checking account and pick up some pointers about how best to express your self with the pencil & paper or with the camera. Try to produce some sort of"following" which means you have a fantastic base of individuals viewing and reading your own content. Don't attempt to fly to India with a million dollars and an iPad, looking to start a travel site that produces cash, allowing you to wander the world to the upcoming few years. You might also go for your nearest casino and play blackjack. If it's possible to pull with the occupation (also to those that currently do so ), I tip my hat to you-great work!

In case you are in between jobs, just from school or Just Want to take a"sabbatical", why don't you consider those paths in traveling the entire world:

: Speaking English can offer access to countries in every places across the world. Some businesses offer free room & board in exchange for you really to help their employees enhance their English speaking skills and knowledge. There are also programs you can locate on the internet that well set you up with a certain country and company so as to train their people English. Now that you have your room & board covered, today we just have to figure out the way we will cover food and drink...

Start Giving Back: Feeling charitable or need to help the others? Why not look to jump onto a church mission trip, Habitat for Humanity-International, or in the event that you can simply take more time off, connect the Peace Corps? Obviously, that is not likely to be as glamorous as sailing the Mediterranean, island trusting the Greek Isles, but if you want to feel good about helping out people less fortunate-and work hard pack your bags and sign up for a volunteer opportunity. You will surely see some regions without paved roads, running water and folks only searching to get a roof over their head. Giving the less fortunate the simple things we take for granted: food, shelter and clothing, can give you new awareness of gratitude, after completing one of these tours.

All of these ways traveling are great and all, however, the number of people get the chance to eliminate extended amounts of time or have the guts to walk away from their occupation and also become a commercial pilot or even join the Peace Corps? I don't know about you, but I am accountable for the spouse and three(3) children, so taking the plunge on the"unknown" is absolutely NOT realistic.

So, back into the initial question above... How do you travel at no cost? And when I say,"travel", I mean, traveling... That usually means taking a care-free vacation... perhaps not needing to be concerned about if you're able to manage to leave the resort for supper that night, or buy those additional couple of sunglasses... Care-free travel means doing exactly what you want, whenever you need and not fretting about the bill when you get back home. Let us break a couple of ways in that we can actually travel free of charge (or as near it as we can get)... or even better: GET PAID TO TRAVEL!

Use Those Points! : You know, I always knew I was going to be more thankful for all the money I used my credit card. Now that I awakened all that debt,'' I also racked up dozens of points! Points I can use towards booking a fresh airport or maybe pay for my stay at the Bellagio in Vegas... at which I could blow more money! ... I'm kidding! ... sort of. Whenever you are wanting to obtain a brand new credit card, choose the card that offers the maximum, when used. Compare the interest rate for charges and cash advances, the yearly fees and in addition the bank card that gives you the most useful rewards. If you fly into certain airline, then be sure to input your frequent flyer number to gather those kilometers. Use travel websites that allow you to accrue points once you purchase flights, hotels, cruises and rental cars. You are paying for this stuff anyways, why don't you try and earn a little more for next occasion that you want to get a trip?

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tlbodine · 5 years

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A Decade of Horror Recommendations

With 2020 approaching, we’re reaching the end of a decade that has been uncommonly good to the horror genre, especially the last few years. Here’s an overview of some of the stand-out titles and my recommendations. Feel free to ask me about any of the titles on this list and I’ll happily share my more in-depth thoughts on them!

Note that, of course, I have not seen every movie that’s come out in recent years, so I’ve probably missed some titles -- feel free to jump in with your own recommendations!

Also this post is really long and has gifs, so I’m putting it under a cut. Sorry for the dash spam, mobile fam. Tell Tumblr to fix their shit.

2010: Supernatural Horror Starts Making a Comeback

Some stand-out films:

Insidious: An important film for modern horror history, helping to usher in the new wave of paranormal/hauntings/demon films. It lays the tropes for a lot of the films that would get big in upcoming years. I thought it was pretty solidly decent.

Devil: A clever script about being trapped on an elevator with the devil. It’s a bit too ambitious and doesn’t quite live up to those ambitions, but it’s solidly decent and refreshingly original. A hidden gem for the year.

Black Swan: Maybe the height of Darren Aronofsky’s career as a household name. Not my favorite of his movies, but a pretty solid psychological suspense.

Frozen: No, not that one. This is a clever movie that embraces a narrow scope: some teenagers get stuck on a ski lift and have to endure the elements and some hungry wolves below. Not a great movie, but worth watching as a study in what you can do with limited resources.

Black Death: Quick shout-out for a dark and grisly historical horror involving witchcraft and torture. It’s not a fun movie to watch, but it’s got Sean Bean and Eddie Redmayne, and I feel like both original screenplays and historical horrors are rare enough to warrant support.

2010 also had its share of predictable franchise tie-ins (a Saw movie, a Resident Evil movie, remakes like I Spit on Your Grave and The Crazies, etc.) The Horror Renaissance was a few years in coming.

2011: The Year of the Predictable Remakes

So many franchises getting flogged to death this year -- tripe like SCRE4M, Final Destination 5, Human Centipede 2, a Hellraiser reboot literally no one watched, and Paranormal Activity 3. Blech. BUT. 2011 also brought us a couple of my favorite movies ever:

You’re Next: I would credit You’re Next with re-defining the “final girl” in horror. Also it’s a damn good home invasion movie with buckets of gore and a smart script.

Cabin in the Woods: This one’s a bit divisive -- some folks really hated it I guess -- but it’s such a loving deconstruction of horror, and it’s wholly original even while being comfortingly familiar. Also it’s hilarious.

2012: A Few Important Titles

I feel like 2012 was full of movies nobody has actually ever seen or talked about. But some of the good ones that I’d recommend:

Sinister: Like Insidious in some ways, but maybe better. Also, “Snakes don’t have feet.” Honestly just a very good, solid demon/haunted kid movie.

V/H/S: A must-watch for horror buffs. It didn’t invent the found footage genre, but it did refine it and really show off what it could do best.

Smiley: OK so like. This is not really a great film, but I think about it a lot and recommend it a lot. It’s stuck with me quite a bit somehow, and in some ways it feels very much ahead of its time as a creepy prediction of what internet culture would be like at the end of the decade. “We did it for the lulz.” Seriously, watch this movie today, and remember that it was made eight years ago, and see if it gives you chills too.

I guess I should also mention Prometheus here, which lots of people liked. I was not one of them, but it was a heavily talked-about film I feel like and of course an Alien franchise tie-in.

2013: The Year the World Remembered It Liked Horror

This was a big turning point year, launching some new franchises instead of just re-treading old ones:

The Conjuring: I personally hate all of these movies, but they are huge and you can’t swing a dead cat in the modern horror fandom without encountering one of them. The first Conjuring film was at least decent. For extra credit, watch it as a triple feature with Insidious and Sinister and do a compare/contrast.

The Purge: Not only the start of a successful franchise but also a pop culture phenomenon and a damn good movie to boot.

Mama: I love this movie. I have this movie on DVD. It’s kind of bittersweet and may not completely follow through on all of its promises, but it’s still quite good and has some lovely performances.

Warm Bodies: Not really a horror -- kind of a romance -- but it warrants mention here because zombies were a hot item in 2013, and that’s a current special interest of mine on account of having a zombie book of my own coming out that is more than a little influenced by this story. (the film is a pretty good adaptation of the book, although honestly you could just skip the movie and read the book and get a better experience.)

Willow Creek: I feel like I recommend this movie a lot, but that’s just because I think it’s very good and a very smart use of its own resources. A found footage mockumentary that actually manages to make Bigfoot frightening. Totally worth the watch.

Mr. Jones: Here’s another hidden gem, also in found footage style (I feel like that was a prevailing theme in the years after V/H/S) but it’s surprisingly fresh. It’s a folk horror piece that doesn’t go at all where you might expect despite its thoroughly well-trodden ‘couple in secluded house’ setup.

A bucketful of remakes and sequels this year too, including an Evil Dead reboot, V/H/S sequel, Insidious sequel, etc. I should also probably mention World War Z, which was not actually very good and also had nothing in common with the book of the same name, but does mark an important moment in the mainstreaming of the zombie revival, especially considering it came out the same year as Warm Bodies.

2014: Fuck Yeah People Actually Like This Shit Let’s Make More

I feel like maybe our current horror renaissance started this year. Some recs:

The Babadook: No surprises to anyone who follows my blog, but I love The Babadook and I will defend it to the bitter end against its detractors. It is one of my favorite horror films of all time and one of the best of the decade.

It Follows: Ok confession, I actually did not like this movie at all. I thought it was ridiculous and over-hyped. But it makes the list because a lot of other people really, really loved it, and I accept that they saw something in it that I didn’t. Watch it and make up your own mind (and report back with your findings).

As Above, So Below: This may be the most claustrophobic film ever made, and it deserves to be studied on that merit alone. It’s also pretty creepy and I suspect a lot creepier for folks who are unnerved by Christian horror/mythology (I am not, but I know lots of folks really are).

Housebound: A hidden gem from New Zealand, this one is worth a watch because it takes a familiar haunted house premise and gives it a surprising and honestly delightful twist.

Jessabelle: Not a great movie, but deserving of a spot here because it’s a Southern Gothic and features a main character in a wheelchair, which I think is neat.

13 Sins: I feel like I’ve written about this movie for the blog before, and I recommend it a lot. But it’s clever and is a great early example of the “killing game” genre that has become increasingly prevalent (I mean, aside from the Battle Royale/Hunger Games version).

It was neat to see so many original horror stories (as opposed to reboots/franchises) coming out, and that’s a trend that would continue (and is something that makes horror one of my preferred genres - there are more original stories in it than in many other types of film).

2015: Hell Yeah Let’s Ride This Horror Train

So many excellent movies this year! Ahh!

Crimson Peak: Guillermo del Toro’s love letter to the Gothic. What I love about this movie (aside from Tom Hiddleston) is it plays all the tropes straight. It’s not trying to be a new spin or reinvent the genre or break all the tropes. It’s just a gothic horror story, told exactly like what it is, by a guy who makes damn good movies. I felt like that was really brave and surprising at the time.

The Visit: M. Night Shyamalan had basically made a joke of himself after a string of awful movies, but this movie was enough to earn back a bit of respect in my book. It’s a clever premise and a smart use of found footage.

The VVitch: Creepy-ass slow-burn supernatural historical horror, sign me up. I actually don’t like this movie as much as a lot of people (see above: religious-themed horror doesn’t push my fear buttons much) but it’s beautifully made, thoughtful, and artistic in a way that makes people sit up and pay attention to just how good the horror genre can be.

Krampus: This movie is extremely silly and I love it. A holiday favorite I watch every year now. It’s hilarious, and imaginative, with some really creepy visuals and a thoroughly satisfying conclusion.

The Invitation: For me, some of my favorite horror movies are the ones where the film is uncomfortable to watch before the actual horror stuff starts up. This one has an almost unbearably tense build-up and pays off in an incredibly satisfying and creepy manner.

2016: Horror Goes Hella Mainstream

I feel like 2016 was another year of just...lots of kind of fun unique premises tossed out like spaghetti to see what would stick. And I am here for it.

Don’t Breathe: Home invasion gone wrong is a great trope, and this one gets extra points for having the single most disturbing sequence utilizing a turkey baster I’ve ever seen in film.

Hush: Speaking of home invasions. This one is pretty standard fare -- homeowner fights back! -- but the deaf main character is a neat twist.

Lights Out: It’s pretty cheesy at times and the plot sort of falls in on itself, but the opening sequence is genuinely frightening and the movie almost literally killed @comicreliefmorlock so that’s a commendation I guess?

Train to Busan: An Asian take on the zombie survival story. It’s a really good movie (if horribly bleak) and it does such an excellent job of making you genuinely care for all of the characters.

The Autopsy of Jane Doe: A really neat premise with some wonderful slow-build horror. The storyline kind of goes off the rails, and it asks a lot of questions it doesn’t answer, but it’s quite good regardless.

The Forest: I was disappointed with this one -- it just failed to live up to my expectations -- but it’s decent, and it’s a good attempt at capturing the creepiness of Japan’s Suicide Forest.

Before I Wake: This one was sad more than scary, I thought, but it fits so neatly into a certain aesthetic that I am always a sucker for -- dreams and nightmares bleeding into reality, yes please.

Split: Say what you will, I thought Split was amazing, and James McAvoy deserves a goddamn Oscar for his performance in this movie.

The Monster: A hidden gem that’s worth watching to see how well it delivers on its premise: two characters stuck in a car with a monster outside. It’s not amazing, but it’s neat, and sometimes it’s nice to have just a straightforward creature feature with a bit of emotional heft for good measure.

2017: Did Somebody Say Blockbuster?

In hindsight, they’ll probably say 2017 was the start of the horror renaissance, but we’ll all know they’re a few years too late. Still, this was another great year:

Get Out: Funny, dark, deeply uncomfortable and with some real meat to it -- Jordan Peele knows how to make a great movie. This absolutely deserves all the awards.

It: Not a perfect movie, but a good adaptation of a difficult-to-adapt book. The kids are great. Pennywise is menacing, but that fucking flute lady is the scariest part.

It Comes At Night: I didn’t like this one much, but a lot of folks did so it makes the list. See above re: It Follows.

Gerald’s Game: Everything that’s wrong with this movie (ie, the ending) is wrong in the original story, so where this movie fails it’s a matter of sticking too close to its source material. But the premise is truly, genuinely horrifying, and the degloving scene almost made me vomit. So that’s cool.

Happy Death Day: Another horror-comedy, with a healthy dose of self-awareness. It doesn’t take itself too seriously, and that’s what allows it to be fun.

The Babysitter: This movie is hilarious. It’s also super bloody and clever and clearly made by people who love slashers, and the affection shows.

The Ritual: So-so in the acting and pacing, but the creature design is A+ and the concept is really neat. Seriously just watch this one for the monster, it’s super cool looking.

I should probably mention Mother here, but I can’t speak for it as I haven’t gotten around to watching it yet. It’s a very divisive film. One of these days I’ll watch it and let you know.

2018: There’s More Where That Came From

If 2016 was the year of filmmakers just trying stuff for the hell of it, 2018 was the year of talented filmmakers and studios realizing that, oh shit, you can make really good horror movies with mass appeal.

A Quiet Place: I’m glad I caught this one in theaters, because it really deserves to be watched in a dark, quiet room where no one dares to make a sound. The ending left a lot to be desired, but it was a clever premise.

Hereditary: The best horror movie of the year imo. Painfully uncomfortable - I’m not sure I could watch it again - but highly recommended.

Apostle: Watch this one in a triple-feature with The VVitch and Hereditary. A really good period piece with a character you actually want to root for.

Bird Box: I didn’t like this movie much, but it was hugely popular. I bought the book recently and suspect it is much better. Still, it’s worth a mention for its impact on mainstream viewers (lots of people who don’t like horror really liked this movie). I won’t budge from my initial opinion that it’s just A Quiet Place meets The Happening, though.

What Does 2019 Hold?

We’re only halfway through the year, so we’ve got some time to see what is coming down the pipe. Lots of things to look forward to! But some solid titles so far this year that I’d heartily recommend:

Us: Jordan Peele is at it again. It may not be as good as Get Out -- there’s some plot holes where the internal logic of the world is at odds with the message it’s trying to send -- but it’s thoughtful and gives plenty to chew on. And there are places where it’s just unbearably tense and creepy.

Brightburn: I had high hopes for this movie and was not disappointed. This is a super (ha, ha) good film.

The Wind: A Gothic on the American frontier. It accomplishes what I think It Comes At Night was supposed to do, but more effectively (for me anyway). Bonus points for being written and directed by women. Double bonus: Caitlin Gerard, the main actress, is also the lead character in Smiley.

I have not yet watched Velvet Buzzsaw, Ma or Midsommar this year, but I really want to. I’m also looking forward to the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark film despite having some reservations about the whole concept.

#horror #horror movies #horror movie recommendations #movie recs #long post #gifs #horror by the decade

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gascon-en-exil · 5 years

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What's your favorite depictions of religion or religious characters in FE?

I think I’ve approached this topic from a character angle often enough between my series on FE’s faux-Catholicism and light magic and my post on Natasha, so let’s tackle this a little differently. Breaking it down by setting:

Archanea (+Ylisse, for whatever that’s worth)

Weakly and inconsistently developed, as is par for the course here. I get the impression that the original conception of magic in Fire Emblem was that it’s all some form of religion or spirituality, and while elements of that have persisted throughout the series it’s not really clear in Marth’s games that, for instance, the way someone like Merric perceives magical ability is in any way distinct from the way someone like Elice does. Why do the remakes make Wendell a sage but Boah a bishop especially when Wendell is decked out like a pope? Does it even matter when you can just reclass them back and forth? At least Gharnef’s Dark Pontifex title is pretty cool and manages to be so while playing up this confusion.

Ylisse is...ugh. Lissa is not a cleric in the religious sense as far as I can tell (a trait she inherits from Mist), Libra is all steadfast albeit generic devotion to Naga and tasteless trap jokes, Brady is almost purely comedy, and if there’s any theological element to the position of Exalt it escaped my notice. The only apparent organized religion in Awakening is Plegia’s Grimleal, which is just sad (although it does neatly explain the direction they took with Fates, come to think of it).

Valentia

Really strong in Echoes, benefiting considerably from the colorful and variously fleshed-out personalities of the Priory characters. Following on from Archanea, I do appreciate that even in Gaiden the setting commits to depicting the game’s magical classes as segregated between the continent’s two faiths; you don’t fight mages or clerics in the main story, only the arcanists, cantors, and witches of the Duma Faithful. It helps better characterize the followers of both Mila and Duma according to their magical practices. We know, on the one hand, that the followers of Mila blend simple everyday piety and austerity with vaguely Catholic (Marian, specifically, i.e..devoted to the Blessed Mother) rituals that are implied to be normally more lavish than we get to see in-game, in keeping with the hedonism of the Zofian upper classes - and with Catholicism at its best, as far as I’m concerned. The Duma Faithful, meanwhile, are casually sexist and totally into cavorting with and eventually looking like monsters themselves, making it little wonder that lay Rigelians seem to be less engaged with their church than the Zofians are with theirs. As I mentioned previously, however, Tatiana is a problem. Despite being a worshiper of Duma (mentioned in supplementary material but I don’t ever believe in game?) she’s a saint just like Silque and Genny and doesn’t seem to be much interested in the severity or fanaticism of Duma’s followers at large. Maybe she’s just too distracted by Zeke’s dick....

Jugdral

Disjointed? That’s a good word for this one I find. Again there doesn’t seem to be an organized religion that covers the entire continent at the time the games are set, although the Edda church takes that role in the epilogue. Spirituality among the playable cast is subtle but varied, in part because Jugdralians are willing to deify not just the twelve dragons who empowered the holy bloodlines but also the Crusaders who received their blood. Claud’s a martyr figure, but for all his defining fatalism I still don’t find him very interesting, and then we’re never given sufficient context to determine what faith Safy and Tina and Coirpre/Charlot are even practicing. Maybe it’s the same as the Edda church - and who knows what that even means - or maybe it’s not. It’s telling how easy it is to overlook that August was allegedly defrocked for performing torture when there’s so little sense of what the church in Jugdral even encompasses. And why does Edain think that becoming a cleric will lead her to find her missing sister - do the clergy routinely perform missionary work? As with Ylisse it’s the dark religion that actually has its act together here.

Elibe

It’s taken a recent replay of Binding Blade for me to recall this, but the Elimine church plays a fairly significant background role in the events of that game. Across both games there are a plethora of Eliminian clergy from different countries and from all walks of life, and both piety and corruption take multiple forms in these two games. I’ve noted before that Kenneth is a particularly memorable one for me even though he’s a one-off boss; something about a bishop preaching atheism (or secular humanism in the form of worshiping Nergal, close enough) really stands out for the irony. There’s also the contrast between the lecherous but (mostly) heroic Saul and the greedy Eliminians who support the coup in Etruria and the alliance with Bern. Yeah, none of these guys are model clergymen, but it’s how they specifically fail in their vocations that matters (and anyway, it’s not as though we know for certain that the Eliminians have vows of chastity. They probably don’t.). The GBA games are also the only ones to distinguish between priests and monks, and although that’s mostly a mechanical distinction it’s not all that common among fantastical depictions of Catholicism. I assume Renault was a priest before he promoted, if he’s saying Mass and hearing confessions. What were the FE7 localizers thinking...eh.

Magvel

Not quite as competently handled as Elibe, which is something that may be said of Magvel worldbuilding in general. Again the main religion feels a little formless; it’s presumably based out of Rausten, but since all the game’s playable clergy come from different countries and none of them can support each other I don’t really know what to make of it. The most interesting bits I covered in my post on Natasha, mostly pertaining to her support with Knoll and how it frames the contrast between light and dark magic as the conflict between religion and science. Dark magic as an intellectual pursuit into forbidden knowledge is unique to the GBA games as elsewhere it’s framed as a competing religious presence, but seeing as Grado’s dark research figures heavily into the plot I can run with that angle. Riev needed more backstory though, for the insight into the operation of the Rausten church if nothing else.

Tellius

Begnion is culturally something of a mess, pulling from the Roman Republic, the medieval Church, 19th century imperialist Europe (mostly the Anglos and their obviously overcompensating empire), and probably also Japan’s deified emperors. Despite the overtly Catholic trappings of their clergy it’s therefore difficult to parse out just how I feel about the worshipers of Ashera. It doesn’t help at all that the primary examples of Begnion’s clergy we get are the senators, who are all various flavors of terrible people up to and including the prime minister who’s been orchestrating omnicide for the better part of two decades. Doubly so when the PoV character for much of these interactions is Ike, who hates anything related to rule by heredity because it comes attached to basic social etiquette. It’s also odd that the only other named clergy, playable or enemy, in Tellius are a pair of commoner priests with no status or influence whatsoever who just happen to fall in with what will eventually become two of the biggest armies on the continent. And also like in Magvel, Rhys and Laura never talk to each other outside of generic “supports”, so good luck trying to figure out what comparative theology in Tellius would even look like. The Radiant Dawn saint outfits are great, admittedly, as is Oliver’s theme though he himself is the epitome of a joke character - and a tasteless one at that, in line with all those tired jokes about pedophile Catholic priests.

Norshido

Why does Nohr not have a Catholic Church equivalent? Their dark mages double as their clergy apparently, not that we see any evidence of this among the playable ones. I don’t know enough about Buddhism or Shintoism to comment on Hoshido’s clergy, although I get that Azama is a comically terrible monk. I wonder what the cultural significance of great masters using lances while priestesses use bows is? From what I gather the former are more like Buddhist monks while the latter resemble Shinto mikos, but isn’t the naginata traditionally associated with women in Japanese society? I’m completely out of my element here...moving on.

Fódlan

Jumping the gun a bit, but there’s such a huge focus on the church in promotional material that I can’t help but think this’ll be one of the more thought-provoking ones, for better or worse. As quick as everyone’s been to vilify the church I still hope that the Adrestian route at least gives you the option to support it, or at least not make them wholly evil. Oh, and bishops are back, yay!

#Fire Emblem

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ralph-n-fiennes · 5 years

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RALPH FIENNES LOOSENS UP - GQ MAGAZINE

Well, loose for Ralph Fiennes, anyway. The actor and director lives a life of high culture like practically no one else alive. Lately, he's been making us laugh, too.

Ralph Fiennes seems both parodically English and consummately European, the way classical music isn't bound by borders, either. In addition to all measure of British, he has played, to my count: Austrian, Irish, French, German, Hungarian, Russian, and unspecified Balkan—as well as American (both WASP and serial-killer varieties), and Snake. He appears to carry with him, among many other charms, a cache of words, phrases, and proper pronunciations of non-English languages, like a deep pocketful of pre-Eurozone coins. It is very fun to listen to him talk in movies—and in person in London, as I did, for a few hours in late January.

I say all this to help explain why Fiennes registers to many interested in his life and career as one of our ultimate cosmopolitans. He is, just to list some of his culture bona fides, one of the living actors most associated with Shakespeare. He has said that he and his six siblings grew up listening to vinyl recordings of poetry recitations. He has often acted in films based on the acclaimed novels of major-prize-winning authors. He has said the talent he would most like to have is playing the violin. He has said that when he travels for a film, he always does so with the complete Beethoven piano sonatas, a “talisman” and “safety net for when one is feeling a bit bruised or battered.” He has described the greatest love of his life as “having a transforming encounter with a Work of Art, either as a listener, viewer, reader, spectator, or participant.” He is fluent in painting styles and the names of museum directors and the great theaters of both the East and the West. He is fluent in ballet now, too, since he's just directed a movie about the Soviet dancer Rudolf Nureyev. He enjoys hopping on the Eurostar to Paris from his home in London. He enjoys short flights to European capitals. He enjoys picking up his rental car in Umbria so that he may drive—the only time he drives—to his “tiny farmhouse” in the Italian countryside, where he goes “to read.” He has said his idea of perfect happiness is “swimming naked in the sea.” He has said that when and where he was happiest in his life was “swimming in Voidokilia Bay in the southern Peloponnese.” While we were together, he sounded most like Ralph Fiennes when he said European-sounding nouns, like “Peugeot” and “Tchaikovsky” and “salade niçoise.” He pronounced the little tail thing on the c, and, as a Fiennes character might direct him to, he pronounced it trippingly.

This cosmopolitanism seems to have sort of become the point about Ralph Fiennes in recent years. Wes Anderson may have been the first to recognize a new use for this caricature: that in the post-heartthrob Fiennes, a filmmaker could mine middle-life pathos, as well as levity and humor; that if a character were to possess an arch knowingness about the fact that he was being played by Ralph Fiennes, it might be really, really fun to watch.

Actually, maybe credit belongs to Martin McDonagh and In Bruges. The joke there was that Fiennes—the very high culture of his cells—could play the antithesis of so many counts and kings: an irritable East End gangster with a Shakespearean facility with fucking fuck fucks. Maybe that was the pivot?

Or, scratch that, too—perhaps it started earlier, with his first nose-less “Avada Kedavra!” in a Harry Potter movie. Maybe that was when we felt the options expand.

Regardless, there's been a slow shift, iterative at first, and then all at once wholly present, in a new series of roles for Fiennes over the past decade or so. There would always be the bedrock of English/European-set drama (Schindler's List, The English Patient, The Constant Gardener, The End of the Affair, Sunshine, just to name some acclaimed heavies), but there was space now for a fresh kind of on-screen presence. You get the Oscar-nominated talent and the self-awareness, too.

Take Luca Guadagnino's A Bigger Splash, for example, where Fiennes plays a motor-mouthing cocktail of taste and devil-may-care that could be reduced to something like: Ralph Fiennes type—but with all of the shirt buttons unbuttoned. Ralph Fiennes type—but with a Jagger falsetto and breezy linen. There's a scene in which Fiennes's Harry Hawkes leads his compatriots to a no-tourists dinner spot on a secluded hillside on an Italian island, doling out por favores and grazies as he gracefully inserts himself into the hospitable hands of the locals. I remember thinking in the theater, or on the plane, or wherever: This. This is what you get when you strip off the uniform of haughty propriety, but still have all the knowingness—all the language and command and wisdom amassed from a lifetime of moving fluidly across European borders. The result is very funny and very cool.

When we met in January, Fiennes had just finished a 76-show run of Antony and Cleopatra at the National Theatre in London. He'd spent the previous day—his one and only day off between the play and a new film shoot—reading books and responding to e-mails. (He'd been journaling when I first approached our table.) Fiennes still had his beard from the play, but it would be gone by that evening. He made reference to “what little hair I have left” on top, a style that changes often. The fixtures of his face were plenty there, though. The prominent nose and brow. The sticky-outy canines. The sensitive pale eyes, ticklish to the light—ever-present in the heroes and the villains alike, the same pair on Count Almásy as on Voldemort. The eyes were so familiar. As was the voice. His voice sounded exactly like Ralph Fiennes.

Sometimes actors make choices to pivot their careers. Other times those choices—those theories about their work, the sort of I've just laid out above—are more arbitrary, connecting unrelated opportunities in an effort to make sense of them, the way we trace weird animals out of the stars. Fiennes has said that, at times in his career, he felt people presuming that he only did a certain kind of dramatic role. I asked him if the run of films including In Bruges and The Grand Budapest Hotel and A Bigger Splash felt like a pivot.

“It did feel like that,” he said. “I cannot tell you how thrilled I was when Wes asked me to be in the film. And when Martin McDonagh approached me to be a kind of London gang boss. Which is not my obvious casting bracket.… And then Luca came to me with that great part, and it felt exciting to me, that ‘Oh, great, I'm not being seen as, I don't know, English intellectual or sort of cool, crisp bad guy.…’ The thing that people were responding to was the comedic, or the humorous, that was clearly in Wes's script, and Martin's, and in A Bigger Splash, and also the wonderful scene I was asked to do in the Coen brothers' film [Hail, Caesar!].” (Would that i' t'were so simple...)

I told him I'd been wondering how active he was in the pursuit of that pivot, since it's difficult to know how much an actor's hands are on the wheel.

“I think it's a very valid question. And I think sometimes actors are absolutely going: I want to do this and this.And other times it comes to you. All the stuff I've loved doing most has come to me. Sent to me.”

In the case of A Bigger Splash, Luca Guadagnino, who'd made it “an aim” of his to work with Fiennes ever since seeing Schindler's List and Quiz Show, told me he knew the actor for Harry “had to be somebody who could carry a complete buffoonish, clownish character combined with melancholy—and there was no doubt Ralph was the right person for that.” At the time, Fiennes had done The Grand Budapest Hotel, Guadagnino continued, and a trailer had just come out: “And I saw him briefly in a pink tie, being suave and swarthy in that little clip, and it was, ‘See, he's perfect.’ He's not only a master of shades of brooding-ness and melancholy, but he can also bring a levity and a capacity of likability that is really unique.” That well-worn heavy, and the new light. Perfect.

Fiennes is a voracious reader, and many of the films he's best known for have been adapted from the works of renowned authors. Michael Ondaatje. Graham Greene. Peter Carey. Shakespeare and Dickens. Even with the more genre-y, it's the best of the genre: Ian Fleming, John le Carré. I asked him if there was any intentionality to those clusters, to working with material from notable novelists.

“I know, I've been asked that before,” he said, seeming to consider it fresh. “But I think I'm responding to the film. And I've been happy to do things that are not based on a book, like In Bruges or The Grand Budapest Hotel.”

I asked if “his people” know what he's going to go for at this stage.

“I believe they know what I respond to,” he said. “But I'm actually not a good reader of film scripts. I'd rather read… I mean, I think I try the patience of the people who represent me.” He laughed knowingly. “If there's a book to read, and they're both sitting there…I'll go to the book, I'll read the script later.… If a certain amount of pressure is put on me, I'll go, Sorry, sorry, I'm doing it.”

I asked Tony Revolori, who played Fiennes's teenage co-lead in The Grand Budapest Hotel, if he remembered what Fiennes was reading on set. “A book of Shakespeare's sonnets,” naturally. Revolori said that Fiennes taught him “the proper way” to read those sonnets and then presented him with a “beautifully designed book” of those poems at the end of the shoot. On set, there were discussions of diction with director Wes Anderson. Tongue twisters were introduced. She stood upon the balustraded balcony inimicably mimicking him hiccuping while amicably welcoming him in. “Tongue-twister battles” ensued. (I would be disingenuous if I described any of this as being shocking.)

From a distance, it is hard to see Fiennes's life as anything but full and packed wall-to-wall with high culture. I asked if he, as a Known Culture Person with a love of things like theater and opera and classical music and art, worried there was something “slipping” in culture?

“I think, 'cause the National is fresh, I can talk about that with a bit more—I can know my thoughts more about the National more than…”

“Than all of culture, like I'm asking you?” I said.

He laughed. “It may be nostalgia, it may be how I'm choosing to remember, but you felt that within the National Theatre—and certainly at Stratford it is the case—they have to function as the company. I think it's probably impossible to do that now because of the way the entertainment business works, and the way actors need to be a part of—the pay is not high—so you have to make money on television or doing voice-overs. But maybe I have a romantic sense of the company.”

Fiennes's first big break came in 1988, in Stratford, with the Royal Shakespeare Company, the company of companies. “I wanted to be an actor because I was excited by Shakespeare. It was thrilling and moving. I don't know, I had a quite naive infatuation with Shakespeare. I thought, What a wonderful thing to be in the Royal Shakespeare Company, or the National—and I didn't really think about films, because that seemed like another world.”

Shakespeare led to his first films, which led to a meeting with Spielberg and a role as an Austrian Nazi. In 1993, he was nominated for his first Oscar and embarked on the 25-year movie career that's followed. “If he picks the right roles and doesn't forget the theater,” Spielberg said of Fiennes at the time, unwittingly providing a useful blueprint, “I think he can eventually be Alec Guinness or Laurence Olivier.”

Fiennes didn't forget the theater, and he returns to Shakespeare frequently. The plays were his first love. And despite all forces pushing younger actors toward other kinds of work, he finds that that same infatuation endures with a new generation. “Even just walking back from our last-night Saturday, across the bridge to a party we were having [to celebrate the end of the production], one of the younger female members of the cast, a tiny part, but a lovely presence…she was saying, ‘I just wanted to do Shakespeare. I just love it. I just…’ And she expressed what I had felt. I was so touched, actually, because she said it with such ‘I just love Shakespeare.’ ”

“I know the film asks questions; I don't know that it answers them. I don't know that a film should answer. I like films that provoke me to think.”

Walking back across the bridge. I love that. Every actor, unknown and galactically famous, leveled out, in it together, the intimacy with one another, and with the city where they performed each night. It was fun to get a glimpse of Fiennes in London. It'd almost be a shame to encounter him anywhere else. We walked around Covent Garden for a bit, and he pointed out the grand theaters of the West End. That's where Eliza Doolittle sells flowers in the beginning of Pygmalion. That was Dickens's office. Fantastic. He delineated the precise border of the City of London, pointing at “that church-y thing over there,” a critical marker. We ended up facing the National Theatre—across the very bridge he'd mentioned—and it was sort of like being Ouija-ed by a drunk back to his favorite bar. The theater felt like home position, like all wanderings might wind up back there. Fiennes has lived and worked mostly in London all his career. I asked him if he ever thinks about elsewhere.

“I love London. I think London is a great city. I think it's got fantastic things. I don't know, I guess I've thought about elsewhere but haven't done it, because if it's working, why fix it?” he said. “I'm at a funny time, and I keep wanting to make a shift in the way I, where I live or how I live. I live in London, I've lived in London all my adult life, I live in the East End Shoreditch area, before it became über-hip, I bought a place in 2000. I've got a very lovely place in New York, which I love going to. But most of the work I get tends to be based out of here. And the theater work… I keep going back, because I miss it, I miss that thing.”

Fiennes has the rest of the year “chalked up” already. Five new films: a Kingsman prequel, a new Bond (“I'm waiting to get a Bond script; I'm hoping for a sexy location”), and three-ish other interesting-sounding dramas. Plus the release of The White Crow—Fiennes's third film as director—about a young Rudolf Nureyev, the famed Soviet dancer, and his defection from the USSR to France in 1961.

The White Crow features several scenes that capture those “transforming encounters with a Work of Art” Fiennes has described as the loves of his life. In one flashback, a young Nureyev—born on a trans-Siberian train to poor parents—is taken by his mother to the theater. We don't see what's transpiring onstage, only what's transpiring across his face. We see it happen again when Nureyev, older now and in training in Leningrad, stands before the Rembrandts at the Hermitage Museum. And then, once again, when he wakes up early one morning, to make sure he's the first person at the Louvre, so he can have Géricault's The Raft of the Medusa all to himself.

Again and again and again—“transforming encounters with a Work of Art.”

I read Fiennes's words back to him.

He laughed in recognition. “Yeah, okay. I'd forgotten that.”

I asked him about those scenes in the film.

“Those scenes,” he said, “the one in the Louvre and the one in the Hermitage, with the Rembrandt, those were the scenes that really moved me. Because the engagement with the Rembrandt… I thought The Prodigal Son, looking at it, when we shot that, I was so emotional, I wasn't crying, but on the inside… Those were holy days for me.”

I told Fiennes I knew he'd answered this question after directing his first two films, but I wondered if the answer had evolved during his third: Among the directors he'd worked with, had he cobbled together bits from one or another to help inform him, or was he standing on his own now?

“I don't know that I'm consciously taking from the films I've been in, in terms of visuals, in terms of cinematography,” he said. “But I certainly, in terms of ways of working…I'm often interested in Spielberg, whose energy, vocal… He's not a quiet sort of monosyllabic, quiet-voiced director. He's just direct. ‘Just go here.’ ‘Just put this lens on.’ ‘Come sit down.’ ‘Do it quickly.’ Very clever. Totally positive. And you can feel it. I remember the set, people loved it, because there was a sense of momentum. I think generally actors and crew love it when they feel this forward momentum and, along with it, good work.”

“Deliberate intention,” I said.

“Deliberate intention,” he said. “Wavering, wavering on the set is…” He chuckled darkly. “Too much wavering is worrying. And, like, Anthony Minghella [during The English Patient] was brilliant with actors. A gentle provocation towards looking for something other… It was in my lack of experience that I thought he was wanting me to ‘hit it,’ to ‘nail it.’ But I think actually, quite rightly, he's looking for ‘What else is there that I can get that this actor can own so that they're not contriving something to satisfy me?’ ”

“The pleasure is that I see a French film and meditate on what it, being an Englishman, what it says to me...it offers up new provocations, and also confirms common identity of being a human being.”

After lunch, we walked a short distance to the Royal Opera House, where Nureyev had danced and where a large black-and-white portrait of him hangs in the wings, hovering above the dancers as they step onto the stage. The Royal Opera House is also where Fiennes took ballet lessons of his own—eight or nine, he says—with a dancer in the Royal Ballet named Bennet Gartside, in preparation to play the legendary Soviet ballet teacher Alexander Pushkin. Once, and only once, in my presence, Fiennes did that incredibly weird thing where an actor transforms his head and face and body into another human being in a flash, a total magic trick, while showing me the way Pushkin did something or other.

The White Crow centers on the 1961 trip to Paris by the Kirov—the famed Leningrad ballet company. Nureyev is played by the Russian dancer Oleg Ivenko, who leaps and spins throughout as tightly as the threads of a screw. The film builds to a masterfully suspenseful climax at Le Bourget Airport in Paris, where Nureyev has to choose between defecting to the West or being sent back to the Soviet Union to face some unknown—but likely terrible—fate.

“It's not an easy decision as he sits there in the room. We've seen the love of the mother, we've seen the support of Pushkin, and we've seen those friends—it's not just the oppressive evil empire, it wasn't stifling,” Fiennes said. “When we shot Leningrad, the Soviet scenes, I wanted it quite classically framed, and ever so slightly, we bring the color up. We don't want to confirm the cliché of the gray Soviet world. And when I tried to look at color stills of the Soviet era, they're quite hard to find, but when you find them—bang!—I mean everyone, the women, the red, red being the political color, but red is everywhere. But it pops! And we see so many black-and-whites, it's so weird what this very basic visual thing does. Yeah, I just…it's complicated.… I know the film asks questions; I don't know that it answers them. I don't know that a film should answer. I like films that provoke me to think.”

When I met Fiennes in London in late January, politics was on the surface. Theresa May's Brexit plan had just been rejected by Parliament. And Fiennes had recently given a little-seen speech at the European Film Awards, in which he had spoken about film's role in Europe, and Europe's present relationship to Britain. The speech was economically rendered, but urgent and unequivocal in its diagnosis of political crisis in Europe and the U.K., and of film's role as a remedy:

In anticipation of this occasion…I couldn't help but reflect on what it is to consider oneself European. Is it an instinct? A feeling of belonging? Can I be English and European? Emphatically: Yes. That is my feeling in my gut.

There is arguably a crisis in Europe, and our feeling of family, of connection, of shared history, shared wounds, this feeling is being threatened by a discourse of division. A tribal and reactionary vocabulary is among us. It is depressing and distressing to witness the debate in my own country about who we are in relation to Europe. In England now, there is only the noise of division.

But film, filmmaking, the expression within a film, can be a window for us to see another human being, another human experience, and we can celebrate our differences of language, culture, custom, and our common humanity at the same time. But the act of seeing, seeing another, seeing through the lens, carries in it, I believe, the vital act of bearing witness. Perhaps if we truly bear witness, there can be a true connection, and a better understanding.… Our films can be songs, crossing borders and languages with melodies and harmonies in the form of light and sound and narrative patterns.

We discussed the speech, and his intentions with it. I asked him how much some of the ideas in The White Crow—the way ballet could move across borders, like the films he describes—were on his mind when he delivered the speech.

“I just had an instinct, that I wanted to say how much, how important I felt the community of filmmakers are, and given what this was, I would really be meaning European filmmakers, at the time when my own country is divided about what it means to be linked to Europe,” he said. “Not that countries have to make films that express [exclusively] their culture.… The pleasure is that I see a French film and meditate on what it, being an Englishman, what it says to me…it offers up new provocations, and also confirms common identity of being a human being. And I do feel, I suppose it links what I hope is identifiable in the film: [that he is] being moved and therefore changed by exposure to a work of art. It's a dialogue.”

There are the works of art in The White Crow, I said, and also the cities themselves. Before Nureyev sees the performances or the paintings, he's walking about first Leningrad and then Paris, experiencing that new feeling of somewhere else, letting it in. Fiennes doesn't shy away from his comparable feelings for Russia. The feelings you discover when a place becomes for you the people who live there and not just the political systems that dominate headlines.

“I've formed over the years a handful of friendships in Russia, a handful who are very important to me, and I love going there. And I'm aware of the… I mean the authoritarian nature of their regime that's in control of mostly all the press, and the creep of censorship and control, is very disturbing. But when I'm there, I sort of: There's life going on. I see amazing theater plays, and I have friendships with people.… What interested me was the common humanity underneath the ideological, political fisticuffs.”

I said that hearing about his friends in Russia reminded me of the same dynamic in the United States, the dissonance between the noise of American politics and the lives of most Americans, how most people have nothing to do with the political headlines, how most people are trying to do their best, to generally be kind to their neighbors.

“That's it. Exactly. Exactly. I'm sure that, you know… I mean, nothing that I read about Republican politics makes me think I would ever be sympathetic…but I'm sure that I could go to a Republican community in America and be welcomed, and looked after, and treated with extraordinary generosity and decency and kindness, and those people might go support a Republican candidate the next day.”

That continued exchange between human beings, whether ultimately fruitless or not, seems critical to Fiennes. And art continues to be one of the pre-eminent currencies of at least the exchange of culture.

“Ballet, not being connected to any spoken language, is an extraordinary communicator.… And as an audience member, whether it's a film, or a ballet, or a play, it feels so important to me that we have the privilege of being exposed to these things.... This is the one area, cultural interaction…where we can talk to each other. So when that's impacted, it seems serious.”

We discussed performers and companies struggling to get visas.

“I'm not saying that they're not coming anymore, but it is a challenge that you have to get a visa to go to Russia. And it's funny, isn't it, that I think the cultural interchange, interaction, exhibitions, theater, ballet, coming, that is where we can be like—”

Fiennes threaded his fingers together, hopefully, like hands in prayer.

Daniel Riley is GQ's features editor.

A version of this story originally appeared in the April 2019 issue with the title "Ralph Fiennes Loosens Up."

PRODUCTION CREDITS: Photographs by Scandebergs Styled by Jon Tietz Grooming by Ciona Johnson-King Set design by Zach Apo-Tsang at Magnet Agency Produced by Samira Anderson/Mai Productions

Huge thanks to the amazing @tessa-quayle for helping me out with this impossible-to-open article

#ralph fiennes #interview

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ryumako · 5 years

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so I’ve mentioned it before but I started watching bnha soon after 7/15, because it was my birthday and I had gotten on tumblr and saw that it was also Deku’s birthday.

Sharing a birthday wasn’t the actual reason I started watching it, it was more so the fact that I was a) already trying to choose another (specifically shounen) anime to watch and b) had seen so so much bnha on tumblr, especially on that day, and I figured I might as well get in on it (I didn’t even know season 4 was coming out soon and in hindsight I’m so glad I caught up because tumblr goes fucking buck wild for bnha as any season of it comes out and it doesn’t matter who you follow, no one is safe)

but yeah, I’ve currently got about 60 anime on my plan-to-watch list and bnha wasn’t even Fucking One Of Them (but that’s just how it goes, isn’t it)

I was very indifferent about it at first, but even then I was still thinking about it when I wasn’t watching it. I had a lot of questions (that eventually got answered). There were things that rubbed me the wrong way (subtle and not-so-subtle fetishy stuff, how the female characters are treated/written, Mineta existing at all, etc. But like. I find a lot of shounen anime to be this way. Doesn’t excuse them, but I make my Disgusted™ face and soldier on). But there were also a lot of things I liked. It’s funny, the animation and art style (especially the manga’s) is really cool, and I fell for most of the characters immediately.

For a while, it was just something for me to watch on the train. And I don’t know when it happened, but eventually I liked it so much that I could no longer watch it on the train because I would be visibly reacting to scenes. Didn’t matter much anyway, I caught up in about 9 days (would have been shorter, but I had a full time job at the time).

Anyway, I got distracted from the series because a couple weeks later I was dumped and then fired (yikes) and had to move from Denver to Kansas. Still, I was looking at fan art during the whole 7 hour drive.

I wanted to read the manga, but I’ve never read a manga this long. I wanted to make sure I had the Time and the Energy. I ended up starting it on August 29th and caught up with it 3 days ago on the 7th. I have yet to read Vigilantes or Smash!! but I’m getting to it

I started the manga for 2 reasons

a) Season 4 in just a month!! I wanted to know what I’m in for

b) I needed to figure out the hype around certain characters. I am hyper aware of the fact that tumblr latches on to characters so hard to the point where it doesn’t even make sense and they end up mischaracterizing them. I wanted to accurately Form my Opinions.

I’m the type to usually have the main character or someone close to the main character as my favorite (um if that wasn’t already blatantly fucking obvious lmao) and it’s because they almost always have the most character development/detailed backstory! That isn’t to say that I can’t infer things about the more minor characters, it’s just that usually they’re much less interesting/developed anyway. Bnha is overwhelming because there are several lovable characters.

But yeah, after watching the anime and having not yet read the manga, I was having a lot of trouble understanding the hype around: Mirio (based on what you see in the anime, he didn’t really have a personality yet, just POWERRRR and a cool-ass quirk, but don’t get me wrong, I love him now! He’s super admirable and really interesting. I also love his interactions/relationship with Deku!)

Kirishima (he seemed like a generic supporting character to me. He was really funny the whole anime, but I failed to see why he was so popular. After reading his backstory and watching him overcome his shortcomings, watching him frame himself in such a realistic way, etc, I loved him! His character design is really, really cool, and he’s a super lovable guy. You want to be his friend. Definitely the kind of character I can’t imagine anyone hating.)

Todoroki (out of the characters I list here, I understood this hype the most, because a decent amount of his backstory/character is already revealed in the anime. But people fucking LOVE Todoroki. I saw him more than any other character on my dashboard, even before I consumed the series and followed bnha blogs. I was like yeah, he’s cool and interesting, but is he that cool and interesting? The answer is yes! Todoroki is a very mature, clever, multi-faceted in depth character and he’s also fucking hilarious. Also, his quirk? Hell yes!)

and then Bakugo.

I still don’t understand the Bakugo hype. I like his character design (his Japanese VA is perfect, like what a fucking voice, he probably can’t even speak after recording), I like that his existence motivates Deku, and some of the things he says make me laugh out loud

But like, I cannot humanize him, and I cannot understand the hype. I was really really hoping the manga would help me Understand the Hype but it didn’t really?

Listen,

Horikoshi basically said ‘I was going to make Bakugo an actual character with human emotions besides anger, I was going to give him empathy, I was going to make him not wholly self-absorbed, I was going to give him a personality besides that of a wet house cat,

but look at him! Look into his eyes! There is nothing there. Only anger.’

Or rather, he literally calls him “explosively rotten and detestable”.

BUT RACHE, what about when he brought Deku aside to talk about his quirk? What about that one time he showed a single scrap of softness?

Okay I’ll give you one thing - he did finally show an emotion that wasn’t just anger (even though he was still angry the whole time). We learned that Bakugo can feel Regret. But also…was that whole thing not only just about him?

It was ’I feel guilty about being the catalyst that ended All Might’s career’

’I need to fight Deku to prove myself, despite his initial protests’

’I need to break the school’s rules and get both of us in trouble because I can’t handle my own feelings’

He was only thinking about himself the whole time, so I don’t really put much stock in that argument. I was surprised that he agreed to keep the existence of One for All a secret, and I still believe it was totally out of character for him to do so, but the alternative would cause the unraveling of the entire story, so.

Upon reading the manga, I found one (1), one scrap of hope. And if you’ve read the manga, you probably know what I’m talking about, because it was kind of a big deal to people.

He said that. I actually gasped when I read it. I really couldn’t believe it (oh the bar is so low though)

THIS was a really good example that Bakugo has feelings somewhere. And believable, too! It didn’t come off as out of character for a couple reasons -

a) He is saying it to a child he will likely never see again. He would never say this within earshot of a classmate (Todoroki, Yoarashi, and Camie were all adequately distracted) and if god forbid Deku were to ever hear that from him, he would backpedal so fast he’d get whiplash. But yeah, of course he’d never say anything like that around anyone that matters.

b) The setting. He’s actively in the remedial classes, where he can only be hyper-aware of his failures and shortcomings, whether he likes it or not. This line/scene occurs rather far into the manga. He hasn’t gotten anywhere and he fucking knows it. Every time he makes a move or has a chance, it backfires. He’s starting to realize his self-absorption alone is holding him back and this line is a hint that maybe, maybe he’ll change

but will Horikoshi write that? I have trouble picturing him doing that, and if Bakugo does change, it is going to take a really

really

long time. I know a lot of fans have the patience to see it happen, I suppose I do now as well, but I suspect casual fans won’t.

In a way, I am a little obsessed with Bakugo just because you all are. I’m always trying to understand the psychology. I’m not trying to insult anyone who does have the impulse to humanize him (some of you though…SOME of you DEFINITELY go too far) because again, his character design is cool, his quirk is cool, and he can be funny at times (albeit not at all clever).

I will definitely be here for the seemingly unattainable dream chapter in which he apologizes to Deku. I can’t even imagine it…

I’m a little annoyed at myself now, because Deku is my favorite character but I simply don’t have much to say. I just wrote a goddamn Bakugo Essay but I don’t have much to say about Deku. He’s one of the most motivational and relatable characters I’ve ever come across. Call him a generic shounen protag all you want, but I love him. If it were 2012 and kin was still a thing (and I had That Type of Brain) I’d be hard pressed to find a better kin candidate (born on Jul 15? infp? Bullied mercilessly yet resilient? Sweet as fuck? Same god damn hat Deku). He’s adorable, funny, nerdy, and ferocious. That boy goes absolutely feral on his opponents/enemies and you love to see it.

But anyway, yeah! Bnha fucking rocks and I don’t give a fuuuck if it’s associated with cringe culture. “Cringe culture” is cringe culture. I was telling my brother about how the plot is dummy simple, so I can see how people think it’s overrated. However, it’s hard not to love the characters, and the creativity of their designs and quirks! Horikoshi had my head spinning with the infinite amount of unique characters he seems to pull out of his ass and make likable (or at least respectable) (um save for Mineta, fuck that guy, what a ginormous mistake. There’s this song I like called “Don’t Give Me Grapes” and while the lyrics aren’t applicable at all, I get that song stuck in my head whenever I see that idiot because my brain says “Don’t give me grapes.” Don’t give me grapes).

The writing is also fucking captivating, like obviously everyone knows the hero will come out the victor every single time, but with bnha’s arcs, you definitely find yourself asking “but how?? How the fuck will they get out of this one??” You’re left biting your nails thinking “dude, man, Horikoshi, there’s no way you didn’t just write yourself into a corner right now” but then there’s the TWISTS and ugh I love them. I love them. I Lov

#rache rambles #rache REALLY fucking rambles #this is just my journey with bnha #I am chock full of opinions #bnha made me a fandom nerd again #I have a lot of emotions and a lot of lukewarm takes #I Am Hype #absolutely not spoiler free #this has a read more line but mobile users are fucked I'm SORRY

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cutepacabra · 5 years

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Understanding my own queerness, and my mestizaje in the South

I’m not really sure what this work is, it’s a bit of ramble from my stream of consciousness, a mea culpa for the people I’ve hurt and a coming out letter in some inane clusterfuck. Each subsection is headed with the title of an LP I’ve found particularly profound during that moment in my life.

My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

Blacksburg Va, The Turn of the 10’s

I had made it. I’d shed the label of the new kid and was finally free to just be some kid people didn’t know, I’d found friends and developed a distance from my past 3 years in copy paster’s guide to neighborhoods. Most of all I had yet develop a real sense of self by that point. I had the luxury of my criollo (phenotypically and by wealth) existence shielding me from having to really wrestle with what it meant to be apart from the group, I got to indulge the luxury of white anonymity; no one asked me “what are you” until they saw my name and even then my response of “Mexican” or “Mexicano” was met with a “well prove it”. Looking back I’m more than a little shocked at the arrogance on display with such assertions, certainly warranting more than my tepid “no” or capitulation. Advancement into middle school of course came with all the requisite increases in outward displays of stupidity, cruelty and insensitivity that the white mindset brings with it (typically characterized as “no one has ever hurt me by talking about my whiteness so why would it hurt anyone else” in a naivete that too oft lasts until death), including but not limited too the whole arsenal of racial slurs that a group of 11 or 12 year olds can pull or cook up, made all too easy by our ready access to the internet. We would throw the hard r a.k.a. The Papa John around with reckless abandon; pouring endless more effort into research for new ways to degrade people of colour than we would our school work, even finding the esotericists the region brought along with it, finding nothing less than delight to find out that the term “moon cricket” or “fruit picker” could be used to degrade a group of people effectively invisible in such a preeminently white space. As with all 12 year old children we were not without our share of homophobia as well, a wide smile across some of their faces as they spoke about how they’d “beat the shit out of” and then “rape” any “faggot” that dared cross them. Of course this put me in a bit of a pickle, being that I myself was a budding young “faggot” and I now had to show my mettle as much as possible in order to avoid social flaying at a level of cruelty almost unique to that age. I had to up the ante, take on that mask and assume those traits that now had become linked with being masculine and fitting in: racism, homophobia, misogyny in addition to a generally callous misanthropy.

The ultimate manifestation of my closet persona can be summed up by all the memories conjured by a simple phrase “Do it or you’re not real” (depending on the particular boy this could be appended with a hard r or a “faggot”). I made myself a fool in boys clothing many a time at the utterance, almost like an activated manchurian candidate, from opening the emergency exit door on a bus moving at least 50 miles per hour down the highway and having to be pulled back in a Looney Toons esque fashion to the sexual harassment of women simply for the comedy of the reaction to the other boys (particularly the women the other boys realized I had a romantic interest in). I had become nothing less than a monster, caught up in the worst of reaction, white enough to be let in on the fun and games with nothing more than the occasional “border jumper” or “mexinigger” comment. Of course it’s difficult to camo hide the things that cannot be hidden and my descent into an internet supported madness borne of cognitive dissonance, memes, image boards, forums and more stimuli than you can shake a stick at, in short exactly who you think would be listening to ska punk in 2010, I would oft hear a phrase that has stuck with me. “You’re pretty weird”, the intonation would vary, sometimes being a derision laced with venom, sometimes a realization built on uncertainty and sometimes the soft smile from someone who found a compatriot in not fitting in somehow. It was undeniable that at some level me being off white or just off perturbed them. I had become a simulacra of whiteness, the dissonance between my hyper real whiteness and the true blue thing they’d known all their life was in that moment there and not; an oscillation that existed at the boundaries of the rigid modernist reality set forth by the racial framing ideology that ruled the way they thought about people. If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck and says the n word like a duck is it a duck? The answer here was simultaneously yes and no; I had through effort overcome my innate nature within the social structure but had only achieved a consciousness of whiteness (and heterosexuality) that allowed me to become that simulacra; a fake that was in some ways even more real than the real thing since I had to try and maintain that identity continually, this in particular was profoundly perturbing to some of my classmates. “If someone didn’t know you they’d think you were white” and comments in that ilk always carried that worry, that uneasiness that someone from an “out group” could slip “in”, nicknames like “the infiltrator” or “undercover” further cemented this feeling.

This dissonance started to create a toxic pit of self loathing and internalized pathologies aimed against all the things I knew all too well I was and towards all the things I so desperately wanted to be. I hated the rise in my chest a few of my male friends would provoke; I hated my late night google dives into crossdressing paraphernalia and picture sets, desperately framed as yet another “haha look at these weirdos” “joke”; I hated knowing I was on the outside no matter how hard I tried to fit in; I hated myself. The only hate from this era which has yet to set its sun, shining overhead to this day, blinding my path.

That’s not to say that this time didn’t have its share of counterframing towards equality and justice, I ended up adopting the typical reactionary white liberal view of the world but not without a fight put up by my mother’s strong views on human justice borne of her socially orphaned social democrat political views imported from Mexico. As well as the Priest of the local Roman Catholic Church Father Prinelli who was incredibly cool with my generalized disillusionment with organized religion and just asked me to kind to my fellow folk. It would be an unfortunately long time before I would heed their words.

Losing Streak

The North DFW ‘Burbs circa the early to mid 2010s

While my set of friends had not traveled back with me my dips into reaction followed my move back to the same North DFW suburb I had left before landing in the New River Valley. It was around this time that my reactionary mindset found a new target to bully and deny was a part of me: the trans community. While at some level I knew I felt uncomfortable in my gender expression I interpreted this as my failure to “man up” or fulfill my traditionally masculine roles in the face of a lot of decidedly non masculine interests (S/o to ZUN’s Touhou Project series for spurring my appreciation for frilly ridiculous clothing), leading me to decide that I would simply have to be even more “masculine” which at the time meant becoming even more overt of an asshole to gender non conforming folks. I was also stripped of the masculine identity I had built up through sheer rapport with what was actually a pretty large swatch of folks, leaving me to find a new place to cast my dark closeted arts.

I fell in with a roughly the same set of folks I hung out with during my time there in elementary school but the timbre of who I was became profoundly different. The culture and the social structure was markedly different and the survival strategies I had conceived no longer made the most sense. On top of all this was the piling on of teenage angst both normal and dysphoria fueled. I had met the natural end of my sins, supreme loneliness, alienated from everyone around me and even the only one I had in solitude. As I gradually clawed myself a place to exist in the localized social structure it would become more and more apparent that only by beginning to shed some of the malice in my heart would lead to a better outcome.

Better in this case was actually quite good for someone who in retrospect is wholly undeserving, I found myself with an incredibly tight knit group of about 6 people who were tempered by unexpected hardships rarely overcome by the group but almost always partially mitigated. Being as profoundly enthralled in reactionary ideology as I was it would take time for this realization that raw human kindness is what creates strong bonds. These people would layer by layer begin to peel parts of the callous shell I had built with what they had, motivating me to drop some of the most egregious of my beliefs such as homophobia, racism until I was an even stranger mix of self hatred with external crusades for what I have come to believe are the right things.

Bubbling beneath the surface for all this of course is the 3178 kilogramme elephant in the room of my gender identity. Being so alienated from what the “normal” male experience was I found myself not thinking that what I would come to realize were leaking feelings were anything out of the ordinary for kids my age. “Of course all guys want to be girls and think about it with regularity” “There’s nothing weird about always being an ambiguous creature or a girl in your dreams” By this point I just pinned these things down to my now personally accepted bisexuality never even having the mental framework to link these thoughts up with my transness.

Twin Fantasy

Caucasian Station, TX; Texas A&M University

Things kinda fell apart. I was a pretty lonely person for a hot second in my HS years but I at least had the luxury of speaking with someone every single day (whether or not the people I was conversing with or I wished to is another matter) but coming to uni was another level. During the first semester of my fish year I would spend weeks without saying more than a passing set of sentences, too scared, too alienated, too depressed to even leave my dorm for more than runs for sustenance outside. My sanity was barely kept intact by working with cavelier and roguish campus activism collective “TAMU Anti-Racism” as the tensions built on campus with the rising tide of white supremacy in the days before and after the Trump election. This meager sense of purpose I ascribed to being able to “do” anything managed to keep me attached to this mortal coil even if only in the loosest fashion.

Somehow I had become an impression left by my old husk self lying on the ground, a shadow forgotten by everything. The real inflections came in the wake of what was supposed to be a moment of triumph for me in college, my first hetero and homosexual experiences; instead I would find myself disgusted with myself, not for the acts in question but rather for my reaction to them. I kinda hated it. I started chalking this up to some sort of need for romance in my sexual relationships, this would also prove untrue. Simultaneously my “leaks” of transness were becoming more and more apparent, buying women's clothes on the internet and donning them in the dead of night in my dorm restroom only to become overwhelmed with self hate and guilt at the idea that I could be some kind of pervert because it felt right, because I wanted it. My own hate of my physical form also grew exponentially during this time although I would again simply attribute this to a pathology about being really overweight. On occasion I would even have fits of body hair dysphoria and shave all of my body hair in a panicked burst, hopping in the shower with the sole thought that it all had to go. With the answer to my feelings staring me in the face as the barrel of a gun stares in the face of someone executed in the field I still looked the sights down from the other side and said “I don’t see a gun”. Repression truly induces some incredibly wild states of mind. One of those even happened to be an entertaining of the end, through the purchase of a method before I escaped the malaise temporarily and came to my senses.

While this may sound like a recipe for academic success the truth is I ended up in a state of failure in two of my courses at the time (physics and calculus, both of which I had long since stopped attending regularly) and I knew I only had the chance to pass 1 of them when finals week came to tower over me. My premonition came to pass and I would get a big fat F in Calculus to accompany generally low grades overall, putting me on Academic probation. By this time I had at the least come to realize that the college of engineering did not house my future academic home although I was too chicken footed to leave the next semester. With the miasma of academic failure lifted from me I would spend the next two semesters attempting to find my place at the department of Sociology and within the same organizations that dominate my time at TAMU today.

I also have to give great thanks to these orgs for really helping me develop my sense of latinidad and latino identity when the bloom of the cactus upon my face was oft lost in the shuffle. I’ve become much more comfortable with my ethnic heritage and more understanding of my status and place within the mestizaje as a privileged individual for being white passing, even if it’s the source of a lot of my internal turmoil. I’ve managed to dedicate so much of my time and effort to the community and in turn the community has given me back my sense of self, my sense of purpose. I no longer feel like a chunk of gravel aimlessly being flung around a highway and I owe that to all the incredible role models and friends I’ve made and met working for the betterment of Latinos on campus and in the US writ large. A fairly obvious epiphany came to me sometime in the past year or so that having a reason to live really is pretty good.

My life would proceed without any major events until I would come face to face with the incongruity between myself and my body in an unexpected fashion the first semester of my sophomore year. During a trip to a nearby city for a conference I found myself at a dangerous level of inebriation, going quite a bit too hard. I stumbled my way into the restroom and felt the alcohol poisoning creep into my body; one by one my senses felt like they were leaving me, leaving my soul suspended in the ether. In that dissociated state I came to realization, I didn’t feel male during this brush with death, in fact I felt rather femme again refusing to believe what was in front of me I would spend hours in the next days attempting to find out if my reaction was simply a normal response to the irresponsible amount of drinks I had ingested that night.

A good talking to by a friend over the net that I was exhibiting quite a lot of gender non-conforming behavior finally pushed me over the edge and cracked my egg. It was still relatively early in the day when I came to point where my recession dam broke and the dysphoric waters came flooding in full force. Suddenly and violently I had context for feelings I had held for a long time and was now drowning in their full weight. Among these feelings I had pushed down and stamped upon during my early days was apparently anxiety because although I didn’t know it I was having a full blown panic attack at the time. I would come to realize what was happening only after boarding what felt like an exceedingly crowded Aggie Spirit bus, as my vision, chest and breathing further constricted. The world felt like it was collapsing in on me, my eyes went fish eyed like a sick 90s skate video, my breath grew more and more shallow. After getting off the bus and finding a solitary spot to shed some tears in I called the only people I knew I could rely on, my friends. Particularly 3 folks who I’ll leave anonymous for this letter (if i’m sending this to you, you probably know who you are) spurred me to action and to take the reigns of my life. Just before my 20th birthday in March I made an appointment with a clinic to seek hormone replacement therapy. After about 6 months in september I walked in 3 months after my blood exam with a script for estradiol and spironolactone.

To the people who’ve supported me I can’t thank you enough. To the people I’ve hurt I can never fully atone for my transgressions against you. To those on the outside looking in, I hope this shows that life isn’t a linear path, that things can take you in directions you never thought and that there’s always a way to get better.

Thanks and Gig em,

SRJP

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